The Haunted Cop Shop (1987) Movie Script
1
"The Haunted Cop Shop"
If this monk wants a
donation from chief shun
He's in for a real disappointment
Chief shun will say in
his usual Japanese style
I'm really sorry,
I really have no money for you
I'm really sorry, sir
I'm really sorry, sir
Aren't you 39277
A mid a Buddha
I'm no longer the old 3927
I'm a monk now, my
sacerdotal name is Wai Chin
What? This is really too unexpected
Such a gallant policeman
turning to buddhism
As your old colleague,
I feel a sense of loss
It's because I was so
remorseless those years
That I want to repent and turn to monkhood
Such tragic ending to
a beautiful police story
But what brings you here today?
Io test if I've levitated
the earthly nature
That is really too deep to understand
What has your levitation test
got to do with visting me?
You will never have guessed
You're the one I hated
most before I turned monk
But I've come to save you today
That should prove if
I've reached levitation
You're out of your mind.
As chief of Police
With such efficient staff under me,
I need your help?
Regardless, I have only
two things to warn you
I hope you will he well prepared
First, after midnight on
the 7th day from today
You must not let any
woman in pink come in here
Or else, this quarter will
be harassed by demons
That's really stupid.
You're such an ass. You
Second, you must not swear
Or else, blood will descend upon you
You, you are really too
Macky Kim
yes, sir!
A hit by a mere tennis ball caused blood?
So demoniacal
What's so special on
the 7th day from today?
What s so special?
It's the Festival of Yu Jan?
The Festival of Yu Jan?
Who do you think you are?
Move your car!
Can you hear what he said?
I can't hear anything
They look vicious
Hey friend, you're in my way
I'm giving you 5 seconds
to remove your car!
5 seconds? 5-4-3-2-1
Five seconds have passed.
So, what's going to happen?
Churned my help?
No! Just hold on to my gun
In case I lose control
It's the police!
Sorry Sir, I didn't mean it
No problem. I won't misuse my legal power
This is only a civil case
In not necessary, I will not open fire!
Say no more.
Do you want to fight?
And you, you too, come on, together now
What a heroic cop!
Usually cops think they're really great
Just because they carry guns with them.
But not this one, he's a real man!
Don't you want to hit me? Come on!
I won't be jobbing you
They're for real, what are we to do?
The moods of your audience are riding high
You're their idol now. Hang in there!
You're great, sir. There's
a real winner in you
Right on!
I feel dazed
Let's call it quits. 1,2,3, we lost!
You win this match fair and square!
Let's do it again some other day
Thank you sir!
Let's go... Thank you!
Bye-bye!
You're the first real
manly cop I've ever seen
Thank you!
This is called good
public and police relations
This police officer has list the fight,
he'll give the parking space to them!
I think so!
- Is it alright?
- Yes, thanks
My friend, you're so smart.
We'll give is back!
Let's go! Bye-bye!
Bye-bye!
We don't need to stoop that low, do we?
We have lost the battle
but we've won the war
Come on, smile, we
have to keep up our image
I'm going in for those incense stuff.
Smile
Boss!
What do you want to buy, sir?
The usual paper stuff and whatever needed
to be burnt on the Feast of Yu Jan
Hurry, please
O.K.
What's happening?
You've caught him,
we're still on the street
Will be back before dark. Over.
It's not Mid-Autumn yet, Why the lantern?
What do you kids know?
This is a win All Lantern
It's an old tradition to
hang it at the doorway
Or the Feast of Yu Ian
to keep the ghosts off
That's ridiculous!
This is a Police Headquarter,
not a Funeral Parlour
How can them ghosts come in so easily?
That's right
But this is an off metro city district
What if one of them got
lost and wandered in?
That's bad for all of us, right?
Yes!
Right you are
You better tie it tight then
Watching movies with me?
I'll think about it
What now?
The usual
I bet no
O.K.
Millie
What are you guys trying to do?
Nothing
Pay up.
I told you she wouldn't be wearing a bra
How come you're right every time?
Simple, are you wearing any socks today?
No!
Why not?
It's been raining for
days. They're not dry yet
That's why
If your socks aren't dry,
how can her bra be dry?
That's real logical, you beady eyes
I haven't even touch you
yet, why that screaming?
Sir, I'm just doing reaction first
This, I learnt from one of my women
She said the most
important is having reaction
The louder she screams,
the happier her clients
If you're happy at my reaction,
you won't hit me
I'm not like those youngsters
Pretending to be Rambo
even they're beaten half dead
That's so unprofessional. Am I right, Sir?
How are you two doing, sirs?
What now?
Can't find anything
Take off those underpants! Take them off!
Sir, please let me off the hook
I really didn't steal any diamond crucifix
I was in church because
I heard the Lord's call
The lord said he wants to save me
Still trying to con us
with your stupid stories?
This lord: me, will hit you
to come to your sense
Please don't
This is not the first time you know me
Getting admissible evidence from me
is to hear fairy tales
The degree of believability is low
but it's entertaining
As long as we're having fun
Why waste our time arguing?
My partner hasn't crack
a case in half a year
Tonight we've the chance to meet again
Help us as a friend. Admit the crime
I'll help you appeal to
the judge for leniency
It's not that I don't want to help
But I've got 2 theft convictions.
If again, I'll be jailed
You guys just want to crack a case, right?
See that waste bin
in front of this station?
I'm the one who kicked and broke it
That's friend enough, uh?
After all my begging,
you still try to deny?
Ghost...
Who is it?
That's scary?
Let's go and check it out!
Where are you guys going?
What about me?
Go check out the library
A ghost?
Who is it?
Why are you dressed like that?
Halloween party?
I don't have a choice.
I was forced to strip
What're you looking for? The light switch?
The switch is on the wall,
can't be on the floor?
Have you seen my head?
Your head? You mean the socket hend, uh?
I have lost my hend
A ghost...
A ghost...
Give me my head back
Give me my head back...
No Way...
OK...
All finish...
Give me back my head
Oh, my god!
Give me my head back...
I've finally. Got the crucifix back!
Well done, Chiu!
I'm so scared!
We've really nailed you this time
What's the material Wong?
Take him down to the cell first
Ah Wong, what are you in for?
This is really too much
As a Police Officer
dressed like that on duty hours
We were just trying to scare Ah Wong
I found the crucifix
Jerk! Using such ways
to clear a case is stupid
Sir!
Quit explaining. Using a Police
Headquarter as a filming location
Why become an Officer then?
Might a well turn
yourselves into movie stars
Such a refined and valourous Chief
of Police as myself
Leading a bunch of jerks like you
is really pitiful
Bring those paper boy and girl
servants out to the courtyard
And burn them at exactly midnight
Also, don't let any woman in pink
into the station tonight
Yes, sir!
Oh no... my masterpiece!
Why do we need to burn
so many things on Yu Jan?
You're new here, you wouldn't know
Tell me about it
Do you know what this
police quarter used to be?
Take a guess
A Funeral parlour?
Chung at the canteen said
this was a clubhouse for he Japanese army
When they lost the war,
a bunch of them committed sabuku together
The dolls we burnt for them
is to keep them at peace
Clubhouse? This place doesn't look like one
It's true,
where we're here now was a nightclub
Under was the main room,
upper was the cannon room
cannon room?
The Rest Room
The place we always visit
Badmouthing me again
Why do we have to burn
them at exactly midnight?
It's when the gate of Hell is open!
Does this count as a woman in pink?
Can this be a fantasy come true?
Golly wow!
You're so beauty! Let's make love!
Welcome to our Clubhouse
This is a Clubhouse?
Yes, please enter
But I'm in jail
Jailbirds need to relax too
that's right
Please
What's the name of the clubhouse?
Damn it!
I don't know where he learn it.
He's so good!
Mrs Chan, you can't think, uh?
Don't you dare get any
ideas on my best friend
Who're you staring at? Don't you dare
Of course I won't!
All men are cheap
What do you want to drink?
Anything
This place may be a bit old-fashioned
But having such a
facility at a Police Station
Is good enough for us jailbirds
Do you want to have a game of mah-jong?
Mah-jong...?!
Take this gentleman
to the card room, please
Mah-jong... Golly wow!
I'm new here.
My name is Ah Wong
How big is your bet?
We're high rollers, We
bet our whole fortune
That big! Want my life?
If you want to bet your life, we accept
If my life is that worthy,
I'm willing to bet it
How can that be? Look at it!
Big four winds calling Fat Choi to win?
Short-sighted boy, you're a show-off!
Calling fat Choi? We
won't discard it to you
The game has just started.
I can draw it myself
What a coincidence.
I've just drawn one. Keep
If you're on such a roil,
try and draw them all
But plus this,
I've a pair
You can wait
Well, I'll discard it for you to triplet
What? How come there's five Fat Chois
You got one, he got one, my brother got one
There's one on the table
where is the five one?
But you said you've got a pair of Fat Choi
Believing everything people tell you
Don't go into card
games then, go to religion
Old man, don't be such a smart ass!
Draw your card
Change card? We follow
him and discard Fat Choi
East
Kong.
Kong on Kong.
Kong on west
What luck! Kong on North as well.
Scared?
There're 2 red Dragon
on the table but no 3 Dot
I'll discard the Red
Dragon and call the 3 Dot
Red Dragon
Don't change you wind twice. 3 Dot
No one will discard the 2 Dot to you
you guys are really
not going to do that, uh?
Of course not
I self draw to win 8 laak
This time you really
self drawn your own life
Self drawn your own life
You've declared a wrong win Pay us you life
My friends, my eyes may have been demonized
Give me another chance.
Or I won't die in peace
All right. We'll let you die peacefully
Please bless me
The chance coming again!
Kong!
Kong on Kong!
Kong again. Please, not another one
Not the Kong on North too
Watch out now. Don't
declare another wrong win
Better be extra careful
What card is this?
Red Dragon
And this one?
3 Dot
Are you sure it's 3 Dot and not Red Dragon
If you don't believe it, try to win
But this is a pair of Red
Dragon! Can I be wrong?
Or not. I'm in a bad
luck trend lately, 3 Dot
Red Dragon, triplet
But he said it is a 3 Dot
That's what he said,
what do you say this is?
Red Dragon
Then I can triplet
No way, it's a Red Dragon, I declare win
Are you really declaring win?
Of course I am. So what?
Can my eyes be demonized
Oh, Ghost...
Don't squeeze my...
We'll let you go
only if you do one thing for us
No problem. As long as you
don't ask me to turn your son
I'll do anything for you
Inside this box is General Issey
Today is the rebirth of his poltergeist
You must bring him back to the upper world
Thank goodness it's only a nightmare
It can't be?
Help...
Ah Wong, are you escaping jail?
Evil spirit...
Ah Wong, don't you run!
Stop running
It's not me who wants to run
The evil thing is right behind you
See, I told you he is just trying to con us
Let's go after him
Please don't bite me. My blood is infected
Just found out last week that I got AIDS
I need to go to the toilet fast
What? Under repair?
Open up!
Are you Man Chiu?
Constipation problem?
You must have eaten too much bean
Hold on tight
Is really that relieving?
Can't wait any longer.
I'll use the ladies room
Sorry, I really need to go
Sir...
What's wrong? Hurry up, say it
We have an escaped prisoner
Which one?
Ah Wong
Ah Wong?
Sir, did you say you
have to use the toilet?
Not anymore. After such
a heavy mental strike
I've lost all moods to go
Even if I force myself,
it won't be comfortable
I don't wanna be like
him, constipating that hard
What? What constipating?
You two must get Ah Wong back here
before I come into work tomorrow morning
Buy enough mosquito in sense
and be prepared to guard the reservoir
You two, come here
Run!
Why is the term jackass
always has to be jack?
What about clever and good?
Stop talking this nonsense, jackass!
Ah Wong has really got
us into trouble this time
What am I afraid of? I'm a goblin now
If I yet my hands on him...
I
I
We've been running all over for you!
Don't come near me, I'm a ghost
Ghost? Still trying to fool us?
But I'm really a ghost!
Really?
Why can't you two leave me, a ghost alone?
Help! Police violence!
They're beating up a ghost
Go to hell!
Can you recognize this face?
Where's Ah Wong?
We're working so hard
and you just lie here
Ghosts can be tired
if we don't rest in the day
Get up!
Is this the one who let you out?
Most Likely, Except for the two teeth
What teeth?
Teeth like these two of mine
Never seen anyone with
such ugly teeth as yours
But it's true. What I said is a real fact
Because both he and I
are from the underworld
Fabricating again?
I'm really a ghost, really, sir
Nonsense!
Look at yourself, do ghost have shadows?
A ghost? Ghost can fly. Come on, fly for us
Ghost can go through walls, can you?
Show us
Please don't...
How can I do all that yet. I've just died.
Didn't even pass the 7th day test
I may still be half human half ghost
As one said, an apprentice
But I do have some power.
Let me bit you and try
Come on, bit me...
Macky, you're not for real, are you?
Don't you worry!
You're not going to regret it?
I won't regret it!
Even as a ghost, you're still as dumb.
Will I use myself as a test?
Of course I'd rather use you
What do you want to do?
You said you're a ghost, right?
Right!
Ghosts are not afraid of bullets, correct?
Correct
I'll now fire at your
heart three time, O.K.?
No. I'm just guessing
What if I'm wrong? Then, I'll really die
I'm not even sure if I'm really dead
What if I still have 1% human in me?
What a way
I maybe quilty enough to be killed
But making you as a murderer is bad, right?
You sure know now to protect us,
Personal reward
Good morning, sir
How can you prove you're a ghost?
I'll turn into ash when I see sunlight
Good. We won't be in trouble.
Try it
If you turn into ash,
then I'll believe you
Come on
I'm not a ghost. I'm human
You're human, right?
If you're human then you can see sunlight
Please don't
It's really good news.
You caught Ah Wong back, uh?
Thank you for all the hard work
But I don't think you'll recognize him
Ridiculous!
I'll recognize him even if he turn into ash
Where is he?
Look at this ash and see if it's him, sir
This ash is Ah Wong?
You two jerks! Trying to pull one on me?
Sir, someone just filed a report outside
Last night, the cattle stable was demonized
I need to take a leak
Go on then
I'm afraid
You've got no guts at all I'll go with you
You're brave, you're born in a funered home
Did you hear a strange noise?
What noise?
I've just farted
Did you see that?
Can I assume I didn't?
Of course not, come on!
Don't push me
Do ghosts need such an
enormous piece of beef?
Can they be having a fondue?
I'm sure he's a con
artist trying to steal beef
Don't move!
There are so many of them
They're vampires! What should we do?
Vampires don't need IDs.
Let's join them
They're out
and prending to be vampires again
Wonder if they're biting
pigs or cows this time?
As long as they're not biting people!
You people stay here
and be prepared for action!
Doctor!
Nowadays, being a doctor is like acting
It's delicious!
Is it really?
Of course not! Go on pretending
This time is for real. What are we to do?
Listen to me!
It's mine
What a waste! What a waste!
Very good
Bottoms up
How fierce full!
Must be Count Dracula himself
Go back to where belong!
Green Hill is my family, my family...
Green Hill is my family, go back
I don't know this song!
Sing the one that we
won during kindergarden
Fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
We can whack you away,
it really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
I've never seen you two before!
We are new here
We can whack you away,
It really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
Hurry, into the car!
Fly, fly, you're awful
Come on, upstairs
We're Policemen!
If you're the Policemen, they're the Mayor!
Open the door!
We can whack you away,
It really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
What are you doing?
Continue with your singing
Sir, please don't make fun of us anymore
Stupid! Who's making fun of you?
I'm now making a report, taking in evidence
Sing!
When can we stop singing?
Yeah?!
Sing till your new Chief
arrived to take charge
I'm transferred here to
be in charge of you two
My name is Fanny Ho
I'm a very democratic person
That's why you needn't
treat me as your Head
You can treat me as a friend
But whatever this
friend says is always right
Whatever you say before the world end
is right
The first case that I handle
in this district is to find Ah Wong
And arrest him back
I've just read the report
you filed on the case
Except for 2 ketchup stains
and 14 wrong word
The content is so incredibly ludicrous
that it's purely nonsense
Am I right?
You're right
the way I see it, Ah
Wong didn't turn into ash
He has just escaped jail
But you two just won't
admit it. Am I right?
No, you're wrong
I'm wrong? You're treating me as your Head
not your friend?
Good! I'm ordering you as your Head
You have 48 hours to arrest Ah Wong
Or else turning into ash
won't even do you two any good.
Get out
Bitch! Thinks she's cool
with those sunglasses
Damn her!
Where is the most haunted
place in Hong Kong?
Why? Want to put up
an ad for lost and found?
Ghosts can be anywhere.
Where can we find Ah Wong?
In 48 hours,
we take her to somewhere haunted
If she runs into any
ghost, she'll believe us!
Haven't you heard when one's luck is high
The metal ranks on her shoulders
Will surely scare anyone away
Let alone ghosts. That's hard
We can bring her luck from high to down
How?
Make her eat dog meat!
My mom said when one is in high luck,
one must never eat dog meat
Or else, one's luck will go
But it's summer, where
can we find dog meat?
That's right
Lucky, this is really not your lucky day
Lunch looks tempting today
Uncle Wah, don't be so upset over lucky
Lucky will come back soon
Let me buy you a cup coffee?
O.K.
You'll find him back I'm sure
Lucky is my life long pet and friend
If I find out who killed him
I'm going to kill whoever it is!
Delicious beef brisket rice
Want to try some, Madam?
No thanks, I prefer sandwiches
You know how bad these sandwiches are?
You know how bad these sandwiches are?
Will make you losing weight
But this beef brisket rice is different
It's cooked with it's
own special sauce. Try it
But I don't like briskets
Right on!
Beef briskets are for the common peasants
People with great success
like Madam must eat
Fresh tomato fried
beef rice with red pepper
It's really very appetizing
Will you two leave me alone
And let me finish sandwich in peace?
Sure!
Really not interested?
Get out!
Yes, madam!
Lunch time
Look at this
This beef stinks!
Yeah, it smells like cat food!
Let me kill him!
Which one... Which one?
Your beef really stinks!
My beef stinks? I
said it's you that stinks!
All the beef I serve is fresh
Crook! Think you can
get by with unfresh meat?
Right!
You may be able to fool
others but surely not me!
I should know, I was
born in a cattle stable
Who cares if you're born in anywhere
If you don't believe
me, get someone to try it
I'm for it
Get someone to try it...
Let me try
Get your hands off!
You'd eat anything in sight
You can never tell the difference
Madam, Madam is fair
Let Madam try it
Madam! Try it!
Madam, you must help me gain justice back
Try!
How does it taste?
How was it?
It tasted a bit strange
Strange, uh?
Eat another piece to taste it better
There's a number on this piece
What? There's a number?
PC3661!
What? PC3661
Isn't that Lucky's number?
Bastard, you've killed
my Lucky. I'll get you!
Don't go!
Catch him. Don't let him get away...
I have nothing to do with this
Let me kill you with my bare hands!
The meat was given by
Macky Kim and Man Chiu
They even taught me to do this act so that
They can con Madam into eating dog meat
I'm bad
I'm wrong
I'm low
I'm selfish
I'm immoral
I...
Anyways, it's my fault
Yes. It is my fault!
I'm responsible for Lucky's death
Madam, we're just kidding
You two animals!
I must avenge for Lucky!
Wait!
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
I've killed Lucky
but I can't pay you with my life
I'll stab my leg with this!
Will that do?
How gallant! I'm pround to call you friend
What a heroic thing to do!
Of course!
Go on, stab...
Fine, for you to see, I'll stab
What's wrong? How come you stab me instead?
Macky Kim, are you all right?
You did the actual killing, I must stab you
But you think up the whole scheme!
The thinker can't be classified as guilty
I always think of the positions to use
if I can make it with Millie
She never sue me for rape?
Lucky, I'm sorry
Lucky, I'm sorry. Bow-Wow
The floor is smoother than your face.
We quit
Yes, yes!
After this, to the car
park to wash all cars
Then come back here
and polish all the boots
You're just punishing us to be police dogs
Lucky never had to polish boots
Lucky never got paid, what about you?
Madam!
What's happening?
Sir?
What's the matter?
A woman body was
found at the city reservoir
Come here, everybody
Thy deceased was a teacher for the blind
Cause of death
is excess bleeding from a left artery
Do you have any idea what bit her?
We can't be sure as yet
Madam, believe us
This woman was bitten to death by a ghost
Yes Madam, We've even
found some information
This is the one who bit An Wong to death
When the war ended, he committed
sabuku beneath our police Quarter
- He's that General Issey
- Yes!
Nonsense!
You want two more piece
of furniture at your home?
What do you mean?
If she doesn't become a vampire
by 12 tonight
We'll cut our heads off stools for you
Fine, I'll trust you one more time
Only one minute left
How can she rise? She's already dead
If the dead can be
risen, H.k. will overload
You're so dumb. Irying to con Madam
Clean your hair and
prepare to become a stool
If 1 lose, you'd become
a stool too, remember?
I'm trying to confuse
her so she'd forget me
Better for one to lost than for two to lose
If you're born twenty years ago,
you'd be a traitor
Damn it... You're insulting me
So what? Out!
You're daring me?
I've been wanting to fight you
Good. Come on!
She's up!
You see?
I told you she won't dead. Let's go!
Stool number 1, Stool number 2
Yes
Madam, please be seated
The stools at my house
arent't used for sitting
They're used for kicking!
That hard? Want to kick us to death?
Think you'd be dead by kicking your heads?
A bullet through your
heads, you'd still live
Why?
Because you two got no brains at all
How can you say such senseless things?
Ghosts, vampires, any werewolves?
How can a dead body be staring at me?
I told you she'd be up
A fact. What a solid piece of fact!
Happy?
I'm happy not because
I've proved myself right
It's because you're wrong that's exciting
Madam, where are you going?
I must report this to Chief Shun
Aren't you afraid he'll say
you've got no brain?
Why are you following
us? Go lock up the room
If she gets away, we'd be in trouble
Where's the key?
On the bed
The bed?
Rest more. If you're hungry
I'll call the nurse to get
you some blood serum
I'm just here for the keys
I won't disturb you
Open the door!
Chiu what's going on?
Chiu, open up!
You're under arrest!
Don't move!
Let's go
Thank goodness they don't need me
Come on!
The chance is coming!
Stop!
I'm charging you dangerous
driving and speeding
Here is the ticket
We're on an assignment. Stop bothering us
Handle this one yourself
Hurry up and hide it
Sir, you're on a case? What kind?
We're chasing a...
A whore is running nude on the street
Nude on the streets? We'll help you out
You two go that way and search
Great..
There's an ominous vapor about this house
That's exactly what I have in mind
I think not. Maybe
someone's having a barbecue!
Let's go, go..
I know Let's go!
Move
As a cop, one must be
quick moving. Let's go
She's mental
Unreal!
"Sam Shing House"
Don't push!
Go in!
How daring! A real courageous woman!
I'm telling you two to go in!
Told you she's gutless
Says who? I'll go!
Told you she's brainless
Madam, allow me
Let me do it.
I'm an expert at Karate
Madam, this door is open. Come in!
What are you laughing at?
Don't move!
This ghost is really vicious!
What ghost?
You're not a ghost?
You're crazy with me Chung Fat Pak here
Ghosts won't show up within 20 miles around
That good, uh?
I started learning at the age of 5
Because famous at 16.
At 20 I opened a store
Why a store?
To make a living, so.
I opened up this store. I still need to eat
Who are you?
We're the Police
Police? What are you doing here?
To catch a female goblin
A female goblin?
What do you want?
Madam, we've found that whore addict
She's at the Three Saints House nearby
Take us there
Yes
Wait a minute
Close the door!
You can come out now
They're all right now, Master
All right? We've only just begun
What should we do?
Set up the altar
You, go to the henhouse
and bring back 2 cocks
Light up the 7-Star
Lantern and keep it burning
Paste these all over the house
Cock, cock...
You damn fowl. Where can you run to?
Master, help!
Master, help!
Very severe!
Kill the cock and bring me the blood
Give you!
Kill...
1 Kill it!
Kill it...
I kill it...
A little cut here will
do. There's still blood
Hurry up
Master, the blood is here
Two drops?
You hang on for a while
Me...?
Does it hurt?
Move aside!
Hurry, catch it back
Where's the knife?
Knife. Can you use my walk man to hit it?
Damn it!
No way, Master. I can't hang on any longer
Master is really something
I cave me alone
Hurry light up the 7-Star Lantern again
Light up!
Master, save me!
Hurry up you guys. Leave this place
Run, hurry!
What are you looking for?
Come on, hurry up!
Wait for me!
Come on, hurry up!
Where are you two?
We're being allured by the demons
Mon said if this happens,
take off one's pants
Put them over one's head and walk forward
Can't take them off
What are you doing?
Take off my shorts to
cover my head, not for you
I can't take these off
Take mine and cover your head first
Don't you dare? What about me?
Take one more off for her
Such then, I'll take
off my last pair for you
No need!
I'll hang on to you.
It's the same
Clever
Macky Kim, where are you guys?
There's nobudy here.
Might as well take them off
Better than being eaten by rats
I'd rather you bite me. Go on, bite!
Damn! Wonder how Madam is doing?
Yeah, where can she be?
A rose?
If anyone hears about
tonight. I'd kill you both
Good morning, Madam
Morning. You promised
you won't say a word out
We won't say a word, don't worry!
Rosie Rosie I love you!
We're just kidding
This tactic is really outdated
You can't catch a thief
because you bumped into ghost?
Why do we need SWAT teams?
May as well hire exorcise.
Sir, please believe me
I was brought up in a civilized family
I've been educated
logically and scientifically
I've never believe in
paranormal things before
But after what happened last night
I'm sure Ah Wong was killed by a ghost
My Pa is a Taoist; priest. My ma, a psychic
Ever since I was born, I have Yin Yang eyes
Where I'm living now used be a mortuary
If ghost exist, how come
I never even see one?
If the three of you still
insist there're ghosts
I must trouble you
again to catch one for me
I would be really
grateful if you can do that
All right. We'll catch one for you to see
I'm all for it
I'm not
It's two against one, the majority wins
Then you two go without me
Why? He can't do anything during daytime!
You can't guarantee that
No matter what, I'm not going!
Come on!
The three of them must be up to something
Madam, I think this must be the one
Move on, what are you afraid of?
Who says I'm scared?
If not, why carry all these junk with you?
They are protection for the just in case
Throw them away
All we need is the wooden
stake and nail. Let's go!
Move it!
According to the weather forecast
The total exlipse of the sun
which appears only once
Every 10 years will happen today at 2 p.m.
That is 15 minutes later
in the sky of Hong Kong
The total eclipse will last
for about three minutes
Gus, look at how beautiful this place is
[t's not haunted. It's
like a Bahamas resort
These containers
I bet they're for coconuts
You know coconut juice. I can even smell it
There's a big lounge
inside and a wine bar too
Madam, do you believe me?
Yu don't believe me?
You're so smart. Can tell that. I'm lying
Why don't we quit work
earlier
and go Disco?
Disco? You hate disco?
Let's go barbecue
Why look at me so despise fully?
So I'm afraid
Don't want to leave? I'll go home to mother
Man Chiu
I know you won't let
me off the hook so easily
Hold on tight
I know. Be careful
Coming through. Watch it!
Painful!
Pull harder, Chiu!
You pull off my pants!
Madam, are you all right?
You try banging down from up there and see
You're so clumsy. Come in here first
OK
My stomach muscle is too thick.
Can't get in
I'll help you!
Use some strength... Come on, try harder
- What now?
- I can't do it!
I can't get in
You guys must go and operate without me
Not much time left.
Too bad I can't help you
Go on. Don't wait for me
Go on told you not to waste time on me
Just leave him there
Go...
Scared? It's not the first time you see him
But it's the first time
to do this. I'm scared
It's the other way round
What's the matter?
Why are you screaming like that?
I was psychologically
prepared to see the head
who would have guessed
I'll see the legs first
How come she's here?
Then this one must be...
Who should we strike first?
Of course it's lady first, stupid?
Hey, strike!
Strike her!
Strike...
Strike...
Strike!
Strike!
Strike!
Get on with it. What a chicken!
Let me do it
It's about 2 p.m. How
come it's getting dark?
Hit her...
Strike her...
You hold her down first. I'll start hitting
Quickly!
It's your turn next
Good. Let me hammer that Japanese to death
E LA SHE YA EMA SAN
Hurry up... get into the casket!
I've no business here. I'm just delivering
You see, I sell garlic
I've nothing to do with this
Really, it's not my
business. Don't come over
Please don't, don't come over here
Man Chiu
What?
Where is that creature?
How would I know? Maybe go out!
I'm really afraid! Hurry
and ask Madam to leave
You can come out now
No I won't!
That thing is gone
I don't believe you
I'm Macky Kim
Prove it!
Rosie, Rosie, I love you
Told you not to mention that ever again
It was so eery and | I'm not exaggerating!
Wait for me! Did I miss much?
You're so late
Really
Do believe it. When that sunbeam came in
That vampire disappeared just like that!
Is that for real?
Chung, you're a retired exorcist
This used to be your field of work
Are there any ways to capture vampire back?
This time, you've really irritated him
You needn't look for
him. He'd come after you
Really? Don't scare me?!
I'm not trying to, Madam
If you want to sleep tight tonight
Learn the "Eminent Star
Strikes Dipper" procedure
Is it very hard?
No, it is very easy
Before you sleep,
put your slipper at the end of the bed
with one sole upwards, the other down
What's that for?
It's a victory endorsement
You then fold a pair
of undies into a octagon
put it on top of your head as a pillow
Now pose "Eminent Star Strikes Dipper
like the one on the wall
No ghosts will come near you
But we can't do that all through our lives?
Is there a sure way to
destroy that vampire?
That's hard because
he's not ordinary vampire
He's not afraid of curses
or peach wood sabres
Unless you can find seven coffin nails
Seven coffin nails?
These seven coffin nails are only useful
If they've been buried before
a period of 7 weeks not over
First nail his four branches then
his two air holes
The last one, aim it straight to his heart
Then what?
Then he'll be destroyed forever lasting!
Remember "Eminent
Star Strikes Dipper" tonight
What do you think, Madam?
For safety sake,
you two better go home with me
We'll sleep at Madam's place tonight
You in one room, Madam and I in another
Then we can watch over
each other more closely
What a one-tracked mind you sex manic!
I'm not sexual, just friendship
I find my taste and Madam's more alike
Yes! You're both low and unrefined
Low? You're saying that Madam is unrefined?
Look! You know what these are?
Japanese plant art.
Symbol of style and culture
Japanese? They are originally from China
Prove it?
During 255 B.C. Emperor Chin
Send Cheng Wu together with
3,000 virgin boys and girls
And these plants to venture the East,
that's Japan
So how can you say they're not from China?
Cheng Wu was in the
Ming Dynasty, not the Chin
Difference of 1,000
years. It was Hsu Fu, fool!
Anyway, they're from China.
Or they can't be so tall
Shorten a bit, then, it's Japanese
It should be like this!
No, it should be like that!
It should be like that!
Like this...
Madam, the door of
your place is so refreshing
My mom destroyed it.
Since she died three years ago!
Nothing has been moved or changed
Especially these three plants.
They're her favorites
You two bums!
I told you not to fool
around with these things!
You must be hungry.
I'll go out for some food
Madam, don't you believe a word he said!
I didn't touch anything, I didn't!
Do I look like someone who is so nosy?
I have been brought up very properly
Macky made me dressed up as a woman
He said he wanted to see how I look like.
Don't you know he's guy?
He's guy... really
Bastard!
Beady eyes is badmouthing me again.
He'll see!
Madam, don't be mad at me
Your dad is not in Hong Kong to comfort you
How about me taking his place to do so, uh?
You, get away from me!
Madam, aren't you
afraid all alone in there?
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Madam, it's me. Are you feeling lonely?
Get put!
Yes, Madam!
That proves she's really not interest in me
What a failure!
Man Chiu,
what are you doing?
I'll really scare you
this time. Play cool?!
Where's my undies?
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper
The other side of love
is hate. She must pay!
Such a coward. What a cop!!
Help
Open the door...
Open up... He's here.
No, I won't...
Open up
I won't...
Close the door, quick!
Want a night snack?
Here are two of them!
I was just fooling around...
Wait for me!
What is the matter with you?
No, | I'm having a cramp!
Now what?
There's only one thing to do
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Dipper your head!
He's fearless
There's him in the woods, I'll die for sure
Shut up!
Bite you to death...
What an act! I'm Macky Kim!
Seeing you again is such a relief!
Let's talk no more. Go
in and check on Madam
Where's my undies?
Troublemaker!
You saw? Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
It worked! Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent what! It's me!
How is it? Everything is all right now?
Seeing you two again bring tears to my eyes
How come you two are standing there?
How's that? His blood stings!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Oh, my god!
Let me borrow them for a while
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
No, I can't
Don't come near me! Help me!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Bread stick!
Now what should we do? So trouble!
There are only two ways to go
Which two?
First, is to head onto the haunted house
Haunted house? No way.
I choose the second one
Go to the cementary and dig out
seven coffin nails
Then come and meet me at the haunted house
Cementary? That's worse
Let's move!
This really look suspicious!
What a coward!
What are you doing here alone?
I...
[... You don't know?
I've come for Ah Wong!
You finally admit Ah Wong didn't die!
Everyone shares problems
but not rewards, right?
That's really logical!
You stay here. I'll go!
Catching thieves under
such atmosphere is fun
Much more comfortable
Ah Wong, stop right there!
Who? Ah Wong?
Playing with me, right?
Sir, are you okay?
It's okay...
Ah Wong Play tricks on it.
Let me teach him.
Ah Wong,
why are you standing here like a wooden?
Look at you. Dressed like that
Wanna scare me?
That's really stupid!
Look at you.
Even painted your nails?
Aren't you ashamed?
No matter how you try,
you don't look like one
Let me teach you how to be a ghost
I'm sorry! I've mad a big mistake
So it's Samo Hung
making a horror movie here
I love all the movies he made
Where's Lam Chin Ying? I want his autograph
He's not here.
I'll come back again
Local movie producers are so serious now
Using real ghost to make horror movie
No wonder the box
offices are ridding so high
Given the chance, I want to have a part too
Help.
Ghost! Ghost!
Help. Help me...
Macky Kim, help...
Run! Hurry!
This way!
What now?
Fight back! We may still have a chance
Help... help...
I got the nails!
Man Chiu, help!
I'm coming!
Go to dead!
Man Chiu, where's the nail?
Over there
Hurry...
Help...
Hurry...
Help...
That creature is right behind!
Let's go out the other way
You are really too much...
Why didn't you tell me he is so fierceful?
I've really run my legs out
Sir, he's already half
dead from our nailings
Look at him. He's more tired than us
Sir, What are you laughing at?
Day is breaking.
He's afraid of the Sun. We're not afraid.
You're right!
Help...
He is coming, what should I do?
Let's pull him back
He is coming, Run
Run
Sir, I'm Sorry
It's too much. Fortunately,
The cut is not deep
Let's Aevenge for Chief!
Sino-Japanese war ended so long,
don't stir up again
Let me do this.
Man Chiu, Are you ok?
Macky Kim, Be careful!
HOLD ON
Let's Go, Go!
No... No... Not my business
Don't bite! I have Hong Kong foot!
Go to hell!
Don't let him stop. Go after him!
I following you!
Be careful!
Sir, catch!
It really hurts
Help, help me!
Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose
He's afraid of sunlight!
Oh no! Sir!
Are you right, sir?
I'm all right...
Are you right, Madam?
I'm all right...
He didn't bite you?
No!
Better check thoroughly
Bitten
Yes, but it's a hicky
Then we must really check it out!
"The Haunted Cop Shop"
If this monk wants a
donation from chief shun
He's in for a real disappointment
Chief shun will say in
his usual Japanese style
I'm really sorry,
I really have no money for you
I'm really sorry, sir
I'm really sorry, sir
Aren't you 39277
A mid a Buddha
I'm no longer the old 3927
I'm a monk now, my
sacerdotal name is Wai Chin
What? This is really too unexpected
Such a gallant policeman
turning to buddhism
As your old colleague,
I feel a sense of loss
It's because I was so
remorseless those years
That I want to repent and turn to monkhood
Such tragic ending to
a beautiful police story
But what brings you here today?
Io test if I've levitated
the earthly nature
That is really too deep to understand
What has your levitation test
got to do with visting me?
You will never have guessed
You're the one I hated
most before I turned monk
But I've come to save you today
That should prove if
I've reached levitation
You're out of your mind.
As chief of Police
With such efficient staff under me,
I need your help?
Regardless, I have only
two things to warn you
I hope you will he well prepared
First, after midnight on
the 7th day from today
You must not let any
woman in pink come in here
Or else, this quarter will
be harassed by demons
That's really stupid.
You're such an ass. You
Second, you must not swear
Or else, blood will descend upon you
You, you are really too
Macky Kim
yes, sir!
A hit by a mere tennis ball caused blood?
So demoniacal
What's so special on
the 7th day from today?
What s so special?
It's the Festival of Yu Jan?
The Festival of Yu Jan?
Who do you think you are?
Move your car!
Can you hear what he said?
I can't hear anything
They look vicious
Hey friend, you're in my way
I'm giving you 5 seconds
to remove your car!
5 seconds? 5-4-3-2-1
Five seconds have passed.
So, what's going to happen?
Churned my help?
No! Just hold on to my gun
In case I lose control
It's the police!
Sorry Sir, I didn't mean it
No problem. I won't misuse my legal power
This is only a civil case
In not necessary, I will not open fire!
Say no more.
Do you want to fight?
And you, you too, come on, together now
What a heroic cop!
Usually cops think they're really great
Just because they carry guns with them.
But not this one, he's a real man!
Don't you want to hit me? Come on!
I won't be jobbing you
They're for real, what are we to do?
The moods of your audience are riding high
You're their idol now. Hang in there!
You're great, sir. There's
a real winner in you
Right on!
I feel dazed
Let's call it quits. 1,2,3, we lost!
You win this match fair and square!
Let's do it again some other day
Thank you sir!
Let's go... Thank you!
Bye-bye!
You're the first real
manly cop I've ever seen
Thank you!
This is called good
public and police relations
This police officer has list the fight,
he'll give the parking space to them!
I think so!
- Is it alright?
- Yes, thanks
My friend, you're so smart.
We'll give is back!
Let's go! Bye-bye!
Bye-bye!
We don't need to stoop that low, do we?
We have lost the battle
but we've won the war
Come on, smile, we
have to keep up our image
I'm going in for those incense stuff.
Smile
Boss!
What do you want to buy, sir?
The usual paper stuff and whatever needed
to be burnt on the Feast of Yu Jan
Hurry, please
O.K.
What's happening?
You've caught him,
we're still on the street
Will be back before dark. Over.
It's not Mid-Autumn yet, Why the lantern?
What do you kids know?
This is a win All Lantern
It's an old tradition to
hang it at the doorway
Or the Feast of Yu Ian
to keep the ghosts off
That's ridiculous!
This is a Police Headquarter,
not a Funeral Parlour
How can them ghosts come in so easily?
That's right
But this is an off metro city district
What if one of them got
lost and wandered in?
That's bad for all of us, right?
Yes!
Right you are
You better tie it tight then
Watching movies with me?
I'll think about it
What now?
The usual
I bet no
O.K.
Millie
What are you guys trying to do?
Nothing
Pay up.
I told you she wouldn't be wearing a bra
How come you're right every time?
Simple, are you wearing any socks today?
No!
Why not?
It's been raining for
days. They're not dry yet
That's why
If your socks aren't dry,
how can her bra be dry?
That's real logical, you beady eyes
I haven't even touch you
yet, why that screaming?
Sir, I'm just doing reaction first
This, I learnt from one of my women
She said the most
important is having reaction
The louder she screams,
the happier her clients
If you're happy at my reaction,
you won't hit me
I'm not like those youngsters
Pretending to be Rambo
even they're beaten half dead
That's so unprofessional. Am I right, Sir?
How are you two doing, sirs?
What now?
Can't find anything
Take off those underpants! Take them off!
Sir, please let me off the hook
I really didn't steal any diamond crucifix
I was in church because
I heard the Lord's call
The lord said he wants to save me
Still trying to con us
with your stupid stories?
This lord: me, will hit you
to come to your sense
Please don't
This is not the first time you know me
Getting admissible evidence from me
is to hear fairy tales
The degree of believability is low
but it's entertaining
As long as we're having fun
Why waste our time arguing?
My partner hasn't crack
a case in half a year
Tonight we've the chance to meet again
Help us as a friend. Admit the crime
I'll help you appeal to
the judge for leniency
It's not that I don't want to help
But I've got 2 theft convictions.
If again, I'll be jailed
You guys just want to crack a case, right?
See that waste bin
in front of this station?
I'm the one who kicked and broke it
That's friend enough, uh?
After all my begging,
you still try to deny?
Ghost...
Who is it?
That's scary?
Let's go and check it out!
Where are you guys going?
What about me?
Go check out the library
A ghost?
Who is it?
Why are you dressed like that?
Halloween party?
I don't have a choice.
I was forced to strip
What're you looking for? The light switch?
The switch is on the wall,
can't be on the floor?
Have you seen my head?
Your head? You mean the socket hend, uh?
I have lost my hend
A ghost...
A ghost...
Give me my head back
Give me my head back...
No Way...
OK...
All finish...
Give me back my head
Oh, my god!
Give me my head back...
I've finally. Got the crucifix back!
Well done, Chiu!
I'm so scared!
We've really nailed you this time
What's the material Wong?
Take him down to the cell first
Ah Wong, what are you in for?
This is really too much
As a Police Officer
dressed like that on duty hours
We were just trying to scare Ah Wong
I found the crucifix
Jerk! Using such ways
to clear a case is stupid
Sir!
Quit explaining. Using a Police
Headquarter as a filming location
Why become an Officer then?
Might a well turn
yourselves into movie stars
Such a refined and valourous Chief
of Police as myself
Leading a bunch of jerks like you
is really pitiful
Bring those paper boy and girl
servants out to the courtyard
And burn them at exactly midnight
Also, don't let any woman in pink
into the station tonight
Yes, sir!
Oh no... my masterpiece!
Why do we need to burn
so many things on Yu Jan?
You're new here, you wouldn't know
Tell me about it
Do you know what this
police quarter used to be?
Take a guess
A Funeral parlour?
Chung at the canteen said
this was a clubhouse for he Japanese army
When they lost the war,
a bunch of them committed sabuku together
The dolls we burnt for them
is to keep them at peace
Clubhouse? This place doesn't look like one
It's true,
where we're here now was a nightclub
Under was the main room,
upper was the cannon room
cannon room?
The Rest Room
The place we always visit
Badmouthing me again
Why do we have to burn
them at exactly midnight?
It's when the gate of Hell is open!
Does this count as a woman in pink?
Can this be a fantasy come true?
Golly wow!
You're so beauty! Let's make love!
Welcome to our Clubhouse
This is a Clubhouse?
Yes, please enter
But I'm in jail
Jailbirds need to relax too
that's right
Please
What's the name of the clubhouse?
Damn it!
I don't know where he learn it.
He's so good!
Mrs Chan, you can't think, uh?
Don't you dare get any
ideas on my best friend
Who're you staring at? Don't you dare
Of course I won't!
All men are cheap
What do you want to drink?
Anything
This place may be a bit old-fashioned
But having such a
facility at a Police Station
Is good enough for us jailbirds
Do you want to have a game of mah-jong?
Mah-jong...?!
Take this gentleman
to the card room, please
Mah-jong... Golly wow!
I'm new here.
My name is Ah Wong
How big is your bet?
We're high rollers, We
bet our whole fortune
That big! Want my life?
If you want to bet your life, we accept
If my life is that worthy,
I'm willing to bet it
How can that be? Look at it!
Big four winds calling Fat Choi to win?
Short-sighted boy, you're a show-off!
Calling fat Choi? We
won't discard it to you
The game has just started.
I can draw it myself
What a coincidence.
I've just drawn one. Keep
If you're on such a roil,
try and draw them all
But plus this,
I've a pair
You can wait
Well, I'll discard it for you to triplet
What? How come there's five Fat Chois
You got one, he got one, my brother got one
There's one on the table
where is the five one?
But you said you've got a pair of Fat Choi
Believing everything people tell you
Don't go into card
games then, go to religion
Old man, don't be such a smart ass!
Draw your card
Change card? We follow
him and discard Fat Choi
East
Kong.
Kong on Kong.
Kong on west
What luck! Kong on North as well.
Scared?
There're 2 red Dragon
on the table but no 3 Dot
I'll discard the Red
Dragon and call the 3 Dot
Red Dragon
Don't change you wind twice. 3 Dot
No one will discard the 2 Dot to you
you guys are really
not going to do that, uh?
Of course not
I self draw to win 8 laak
This time you really
self drawn your own life
Self drawn your own life
You've declared a wrong win Pay us you life
My friends, my eyes may have been demonized
Give me another chance.
Or I won't die in peace
All right. We'll let you die peacefully
Please bless me
The chance coming again!
Kong!
Kong on Kong!
Kong again. Please, not another one
Not the Kong on North too
Watch out now. Don't
declare another wrong win
Better be extra careful
What card is this?
Red Dragon
And this one?
3 Dot
Are you sure it's 3 Dot and not Red Dragon
If you don't believe it, try to win
But this is a pair of Red
Dragon! Can I be wrong?
Or not. I'm in a bad
luck trend lately, 3 Dot
Red Dragon, triplet
But he said it is a 3 Dot
That's what he said,
what do you say this is?
Red Dragon
Then I can triplet
No way, it's a Red Dragon, I declare win
Are you really declaring win?
Of course I am. So what?
Can my eyes be demonized
Oh, Ghost...
Don't squeeze my...
We'll let you go
only if you do one thing for us
No problem. As long as you
don't ask me to turn your son
I'll do anything for you
Inside this box is General Issey
Today is the rebirth of his poltergeist
You must bring him back to the upper world
Thank goodness it's only a nightmare
It can't be?
Help...
Ah Wong, are you escaping jail?
Evil spirit...
Ah Wong, don't you run!
Stop running
It's not me who wants to run
The evil thing is right behind you
See, I told you he is just trying to con us
Let's go after him
Please don't bite me. My blood is infected
Just found out last week that I got AIDS
I need to go to the toilet fast
What? Under repair?
Open up!
Are you Man Chiu?
Constipation problem?
You must have eaten too much bean
Hold on tight
Is really that relieving?
Can't wait any longer.
I'll use the ladies room
Sorry, I really need to go
Sir...
What's wrong? Hurry up, say it
We have an escaped prisoner
Which one?
Ah Wong
Ah Wong?
Sir, did you say you
have to use the toilet?
Not anymore. After such
a heavy mental strike
I've lost all moods to go
Even if I force myself,
it won't be comfortable
I don't wanna be like
him, constipating that hard
What? What constipating?
You two must get Ah Wong back here
before I come into work tomorrow morning
Buy enough mosquito in sense
and be prepared to guard the reservoir
You two, come here
Run!
Why is the term jackass
always has to be jack?
What about clever and good?
Stop talking this nonsense, jackass!
Ah Wong has really got
us into trouble this time
What am I afraid of? I'm a goblin now
If I yet my hands on him...
I
I
We've been running all over for you!
Don't come near me, I'm a ghost
Ghost? Still trying to fool us?
But I'm really a ghost!
Really?
Why can't you two leave me, a ghost alone?
Help! Police violence!
They're beating up a ghost
Go to hell!
Can you recognize this face?
Where's Ah Wong?
We're working so hard
and you just lie here
Ghosts can be tired
if we don't rest in the day
Get up!
Is this the one who let you out?
Most Likely, Except for the two teeth
What teeth?
Teeth like these two of mine
Never seen anyone with
such ugly teeth as yours
But it's true. What I said is a real fact
Because both he and I
are from the underworld
Fabricating again?
I'm really a ghost, really, sir
Nonsense!
Look at yourself, do ghost have shadows?
A ghost? Ghost can fly. Come on, fly for us
Ghost can go through walls, can you?
Show us
Please don't...
How can I do all that yet. I've just died.
Didn't even pass the 7th day test
I may still be half human half ghost
As one said, an apprentice
But I do have some power.
Let me bit you and try
Come on, bit me...
Macky, you're not for real, are you?
Don't you worry!
You're not going to regret it?
I won't regret it!
Even as a ghost, you're still as dumb.
Will I use myself as a test?
Of course I'd rather use you
What do you want to do?
You said you're a ghost, right?
Right!
Ghosts are not afraid of bullets, correct?
Correct
I'll now fire at your
heart three time, O.K.?
No. I'm just guessing
What if I'm wrong? Then, I'll really die
I'm not even sure if I'm really dead
What if I still have 1% human in me?
What a way
I maybe quilty enough to be killed
But making you as a murderer is bad, right?
You sure know now to protect us,
Personal reward
Good morning, sir
How can you prove you're a ghost?
I'll turn into ash when I see sunlight
Good. We won't be in trouble.
Try it
If you turn into ash,
then I'll believe you
Come on
I'm not a ghost. I'm human
You're human, right?
If you're human then you can see sunlight
Please don't
It's really good news.
You caught Ah Wong back, uh?
Thank you for all the hard work
But I don't think you'll recognize him
Ridiculous!
I'll recognize him even if he turn into ash
Where is he?
Look at this ash and see if it's him, sir
This ash is Ah Wong?
You two jerks! Trying to pull one on me?
Sir, someone just filed a report outside
Last night, the cattle stable was demonized
I need to take a leak
Go on then
I'm afraid
You've got no guts at all I'll go with you
You're brave, you're born in a funered home
Did you hear a strange noise?
What noise?
I've just farted
Did you see that?
Can I assume I didn't?
Of course not, come on!
Don't push me
Do ghosts need such an
enormous piece of beef?
Can they be having a fondue?
I'm sure he's a con
artist trying to steal beef
Don't move!
There are so many of them
They're vampires! What should we do?
Vampires don't need IDs.
Let's join them
They're out
and prending to be vampires again
Wonder if they're biting
pigs or cows this time?
As long as they're not biting people!
You people stay here
and be prepared for action!
Doctor!
Nowadays, being a doctor is like acting
It's delicious!
Is it really?
Of course not! Go on pretending
This time is for real. What are we to do?
Listen to me!
It's mine
What a waste! What a waste!
Very good
Bottoms up
How fierce full!
Must be Count Dracula himself
Go back to where belong!
Green Hill is my family, my family...
Green Hill is my family, go back
I don't know this song!
Sing the one that we
won during kindergarden
Fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
We can whack you away,
it really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
I've never seen you two before!
We are new here
We can whack you away,
It really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
Fly here, there, so annoying
Hurry, into the car!
Fly, fly, you're awful
Come on, upstairs
We're Policemen!
If you're the Policemen, they're the Mayor!
Open the door!
We can whack you away,
It really made our day
Fly, fly, you're awful
What are you doing?
Continue with your singing
Sir, please don't make fun of us anymore
Stupid! Who's making fun of you?
I'm now making a report, taking in evidence
Sing!
When can we stop singing?
Yeah?!
Sing till your new Chief
arrived to take charge
I'm transferred here to
be in charge of you two
My name is Fanny Ho
I'm a very democratic person
That's why you needn't
treat me as your Head
You can treat me as a friend
But whatever this
friend says is always right
Whatever you say before the world end
is right
The first case that I handle
in this district is to find Ah Wong
And arrest him back
I've just read the report
you filed on the case
Except for 2 ketchup stains
and 14 wrong word
The content is so incredibly ludicrous
that it's purely nonsense
Am I right?
You're right
the way I see it, Ah
Wong didn't turn into ash
He has just escaped jail
But you two just won't
admit it. Am I right?
No, you're wrong
I'm wrong? You're treating me as your Head
not your friend?
Good! I'm ordering you as your Head
You have 48 hours to arrest Ah Wong
Or else turning into ash
won't even do you two any good.
Get out
Bitch! Thinks she's cool
with those sunglasses
Damn her!
Where is the most haunted
place in Hong Kong?
Why? Want to put up
an ad for lost and found?
Ghosts can be anywhere.
Where can we find Ah Wong?
In 48 hours,
we take her to somewhere haunted
If she runs into any
ghost, she'll believe us!
Haven't you heard when one's luck is high
The metal ranks on her shoulders
Will surely scare anyone away
Let alone ghosts. That's hard
We can bring her luck from high to down
How?
Make her eat dog meat!
My mom said when one is in high luck,
one must never eat dog meat
Or else, one's luck will go
But it's summer, where
can we find dog meat?
That's right
Lucky, this is really not your lucky day
Lunch looks tempting today
Uncle Wah, don't be so upset over lucky
Lucky will come back soon
Let me buy you a cup coffee?
O.K.
You'll find him back I'm sure
Lucky is my life long pet and friend
If I find out who killed him
I'm going to kill whoever it is!
Delicious beef brisket rice
Want to try some, Madam?
No thanks, I prefer sandwiches
You know how bad these sandwiches are?
You know how bad these sandwiches are?
Will make you losing weight
But this beef brisket rice is different
It's cooked with it's
own special sauce. Try it
But I don't like briskets
Right on!
Beef briskets are for the common peasants
People with great success
like Madam must eat
Fresh tomato fried
beef rice with red pepper
It's really very appetizing
Will you two leave me alone
And let me finish sandwich in peace?
Sure!
Really not interested?
Get out!
Yes, madam!
Lunch time
Look at this
This beef stinks!
Yeah, it smells like cat food!
Let me kill him!
Which one... Which one?
Your beef really stinks!
My beef stinks? I
said it's you that stinks!
All the beef I serve is fresh
Crook! Think you can
get by with unfresh meat?
Right!
You may be able to fool
others but surely not me!
I should know, I was
born in a cattle stable
Who cares if you're born in anywhere
If you don't believe
me, get someone to try it
I'm for it
Get someone to try it...
Let me try
Get your hands off!
You'd eat anything in sight
You can never tell the difference
Madam, Madam is fair
Let Madam try it
Madam! Try it!
Madam, you must help me gain justice back
Try!
How does it taste?
How was it?
It tasted a bit strange
Strange, uh?
Eat another piece to taste it better
There's a number on this piece
What? There's a number?
PC3661!
What? PC3661
Isn't that Lucky's number?
Bastard, you've killed
my Lucky. I'll get you!
Don't go!
Catch him. Don't let him get away...
I have nothing to do with this
Let me kill you with my bare hands!
The meat was given by
Macky Kim and Man Chiu
They even taught me to do this act so that
They can con Madam into eating dog meat
I'm bad
I'm wrong
I'm low
I'm selfish
I'm immoral
I...
Anyways, it's my fault
Yes. It is my fault!
I'm responsible for Lucky's death
Madam, we're just kidding
You two animals!
I must avenge for Lucky!
Wait!
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
I've killed Lucky
but I can't pay you with my life
I'll stab my leg with this!
Will that do?
How gallant! I'm pround to call you friend
What a heroic thing to do!
Of course!
Go on, stab...
Fine, for you to see, I'll stab
What's wrong? How come you stab me instead?
Macky Kim, are you all right?
You did the actual killing, I must stab you
But you think up the whole scheme!
The thinker can't be classified as guilty
I always think of the positions to use
if I can make it with Millie
She never sue me for rape?
Lucky, I'm sorry
Lucky, I'm sorry. Bow-Wow
The floor is smoother than your face.
We quit
Yes, yes!
After this, to the car
park to wash all cars
Then come back here
and polish all the boots
You're just punishing us to be police dogs
Lucky never had to polish boots
Lucky never got paid, what about you?
Madam!
What's happening?
Sir?
What's the matter?
A woman body was
found at the city reservoir
Come here, everybody
Thy deceased was a teacher for the blind
Cause of death
is excess bleeding from a left artery
Do you have any idea what bit her?
We can't be sure as yet
Madam, believe us
This woman was bitten to death by a ghost
Yes Madam, We've even
found some information
This is the one who bit An Wong to death
When the war ended, he committed
sabuku beneath our police Quarter
- He's that General Issey
- Yes!
Nonsense!
You want two more piece
of furniture at your home?
What do you mean?
If she doesn't become a vampire
by 12 tonight
We'll cut our heads off stools for you
Fine, I'll trust you one more time
Only one minute left
How can she rise? She's already dead
If the dead can be
risen, H.k. will overload
You're so dumb. Irying to con Madam
Clean your hair and
prepare to become a stool
If 1 lose, you'd become
a stool too, remember?
I'm trying to confuse
her so she'd forget me
Better for one to lost than for two to lose
If you're born twenty years ago,
you'd be a traitor
Damn it... You're insulting me
So what? Out!
You're daring me?
I've been wanting to fight you
Good. Come on!
She's up!
You see?
I told you she won't dead. Let's go!
Stool number 1, Stool number 2
Yes
Madam, please be seated
The stools at my house
arent't used for sitting
They're used for kicking!
That hard? Want to kick us to death?
Think you'd be dead by kicking your heads?
A bullet through your
heads, you'd still live
Why?
Because you two got no brains at all
How can you say such senseless things?
Ghosts, vampires, any werewolves?
How can a dead body be staring at me?
I told you she'd be up
A fact. What a solid piece of fact!
Happy?
I'm happy not because
I've proved myself right
It's because you're wrong that's exciting
Madam, where are you going?
I must report this to Chief Shun
Aren't you afraid he'll say
you've got no brain?
Why are you following
us? Go lock up the room
If she gets away, we'd be in trouble
Where's the key?
On the bed
The bed?
Rest more. If you're hungry
I'll call the nurse to get
you some blood serum
I'm just here for the keys
I won't disturb you
Open the door!
Chiu what's going on?
Chiu, open up!
You're under arrest!
Don't move!
Let's go
Thank goodness they don't need me
Come on!
The chance is coming!
Stop!
I'm charging you dangerous
driving and speeding
Here is the ticket
We're on an assignment. Stop bothering us
Handle this one yourself
Hurry up and hide it
Sir, you're on a case? What kind?
We're chasing a...
A whore is running nude on the street
Nude on the streets? We'll help you out
You two go that way and search
Great..
There's an ominous vapor about this house
That's exactly what I have in mind
I think not. Maybe
someone's having a barbecue!
Let's go, go..
I know Let's go!
Move
As a cop, one must be
quick moving. Let's go
She's mental
Unreal!
"Sam Shing House"
Don't push!
Go in!
How daring! A real courageous woman!
I'm telling you two to go in!
Told you she's gutless
Says who? I'll go!
Told you she's brainless
Madam, allow me
Let me do it.
I'm an expert at Karate
Madam, this door is open. Come in!
What are you laughing at?
Don't move!
This ghost is really vicious!
What ghost?
You're not a ghost?
You're crazy with me Chung Fat Pak here
Ghosts won't show up within 20 miles around
That good, uh?
I started learning at the age of 5
Because famous at 16.
At 20 I opened a store
Why a store?
To make a living, so.
I opened up this store. I still need to eat
Who are you?
We're the Police
Police? What are you doing here?
To catch a female goblin
A female goblin?
What do you want?
Madam, we've found that whore addict
She's at the Three Saints House nearby
Take us there
Yes
Wait a minute
Close the door!
You can come out now
They're all right now, Master
All right? We've only just begun
What should we do?
Set up the altar
You, go to the henhouse
and bring back 2 cocks
Light up the 7-Star
Lantern and keep it burning
Paste these all over the house
Cock, cock...
You damn fowl. Where can you run to?
Master, help!
Master, help!
Very severe!
Kill the cock and bring me the blood
Give you!
Kill...
1 Kill it!
Kill it...
I kill it...
A little cut here will
do. There's still blood
Hurry up
Master, the blood is here
Two drops?
You hang on for a while
Me...?
Does it hurt?
Move aside!
Hurry, catch it back
Where's the knife?
Knife. Can you use my walk man to hit it?
Damn it!
No way, Master. I can't hang on any longer
Master is really something
I cave me alone
Hurry light up the 7-Star Lantern again
Light up!
Master, save me!
Hurry up you guys. Leave this place
Run, hurry!
What are you looking for?
Come on, hurry up!
Wait for me!
Come on, hurry up!
Where are you two?
We're being allured by the demons
Mon said if this happens,
take off one's pants
Put them over one's head and walk forward
Can't take them off
What are you doing?
Take off my shorts to
cover my head, not for you
I can't take these off
Take mine and cover your head first
Don't you dare? What about me?
Take one more off for her
Such then, I'll take
off my last pair for you
No need!
I'll hang on to you.
It's the same
Clever
Macky Kim, where are you guys?
There's nobudy here.
Might as well take them off
Better than being eaten by rats
I'd rather you bite me. Go on, bite!
Damn! Wonder how Madam is doing?
Yeah, where can she be?
A rose?
If anyone hears about
tonight. I'd kill you both
Good morning, Madam
Morning. You promised
you won't say a word out
We won't say a word, don't worry!
Rosie Rosie I love you!
We're just kidding
This tactic is really outdated
You can't catch a thief
because you bumped into ghost?
Why do we need SWAT teams?
May as well hire exorcise.
Sir, please believe me
I was brought up in a civilized family
I've been educated
logically and scientifically
I've never believe in
paranormal things before
But after what happened last night
I'm sure Ah Wong was killed by a ghost
My Pa is a Taoist; priest. My ma, a psychic
Ever since I was born, I have Yin Yang eyes
Where I'm living now used be a mortuary
If ghost exist, how come
I never even see one?
If the three of you still
insist there're ghosts
I must trouble you
again to catch one for me
I would be really
grateful if you can do that
All right. We'll catch one for you to see
I'm all for it
I'm not
It's two against one, the majority wins
Then you two go without me
Why? He can't do anything during daytime!
You can't guarantee that
No matter what, I'm not going!
Come on!
The three of them must be up to something
Madam, I think this must be the one
Move on, what are you afraid of?
Who says I'm scared?
If not, why carry all these junk with you?
They are protection for the just in case
Throw them away
All we need is the wooden
stake and nail. Let's go!
Move it!
According to the weather forecast
The total exlipse of the sun
which appears only once
Every 10 years will happen today at 2 p.m.
That is 15 minutes later
in the sky of Hong Kong
The total eclipse will last
for about three minutes
Gus, look at how beautiful this place is
[t's not haunted. It's
like a Bahamas resort
These containers
I bet they're for coconuts
You know coconut juice. I can even smell it
There's a big lounge
inside and a wine bar too
Madam, do you believe me?
Yu don't believe me?
You're so smart. Can tell that. I'm lying
Why don't we quit work
earlier
and go Disco?
Disco? You hate disco?
Let's go barbecue
Why look at me so despise fully?
So I'm afraid
Don't want to leave? I'll go home to mother
Man Chiu
I know you won't let
me off the hook so easily
Hold on tight
I know. Be careful
Coming through. Watch it!
Painful!
Pull harder, Chiu!
You pull off my pants!
Madam, are you all right?
You try banging down from up there and see
You're so clumsy. Come in here first
OK
My stomach muscle is too thick.
Can't get in
I'll help you!
Use some strength... Come on, try harder
- What now?
- I can't do it!
I can't get in
You guys must go and operate without me
Not much time left.
Too bad I can't help you
Go on. Don't wait for me
Go on told you not to waste time on me
Just leave him there
Go...
Scared? It's not the first time you see him
But it's the first time
to do this. I'm scared
It's the other way round
What's the matter?
Why are you screaming like that?
I was psychologically
prepared to see the head
who would have guessed
I'll see the legs first
How come she's here?
Then this one must be...
Who should we strike first?
Of course it's lady first, stupid?
Hey, strike!
Strike her!
Strike...
Strike...
Strike!
Strike!
Strike!
Get on with it. What a chicken!
Let me do it
It's about 2 p.m. How
come it's getting dark?
Hit her...
Strike her...
You hold her down first. I'll start hitting
Quickly!
It's your turn next
Good. Let me hammer that Japanese to death
E LA SHE YA EMA SAN
Hurry up... get into the casket!
I've no business here. I'm just delivering
You see, I sell garlic
I've nothing to do with this
Really, it's not my
business. Don't come over
Please don't, don't come over here
Man Chiu
What?
Where is that creature?
How would I know? Maybe go out!
I'm really afraid! Hurry
and ask Madam to leave
You can come out now
No I won't!
That thing is gone
I don't believe you
I'm Macky Kim
Prove it!
Rosie, Rosie, I love you
Told you not to mention that ever again
It was so eery and | I'm not exaggerating!
Wait for me! Did I miss much?
You're so late
Really
Do believe it. When that sunbeam came in
That vampire disappeared just like that!
Is that for real?
Chung, you're a retired exorcist
This used to be your field of work
Are there any ways to capture vampire back?
This time, you've really irritated him
You needn't look for
him. He'd come after you
Really? Don't scare me?!
I'm not trying to, Madam
If you want to sleep tight tonight
Learn the "Eminent Star
Strikes Dipper" procedure
Is it very hard?
No, it is very easy
Before you sleep,
put your slipper at the end of the bed
with one sole upwards, the other down
What's that for?
It's a victory endorsement
You then fold a pair
of undies into a octagon
put it on top of your head as a pillow
Now pose "Eminent Star Strikes Dipper
like the one on the wall
No ghosts will come near you
But we can't do that all through our lives?
Is there a sure way to
destroy that vampire?
That's hard because
he's not ordinary vampire
He's not afraid of curses
or peach wood sabres
Unless you can find seven coffin nails
Seven coffin nails?
These seven coffin nails are only useful
If they've been buried before
a period of 7 weeks not over
First nail his four branches then
his two air holes
The last one, aim it straight to his heart
Then what?
Then he'll be destroyed forever lasting!
Remember "Eminent
Star Strikes Dipper" tonight
What do you think, Madam?
For safety sake,
you two better go home with me
We'll sleep at Madam's place tonight
You in one room, Madam and I in another
Then we can watch over
each other more closely
What a one-tracked mind you sex manic!
I'm not sexual, just friendship
I find my taste and Madam's more alike
Yes! You're both low and unrefined
Low? You're saying that Madam is unrefined?
Look! You know what these are?
Japanese plant art.
Symbol of style and culture
Japanese? They are originally from China
Prove it?
During 255 B.C. Emperor Chin
Send Cheng Wu together with
3,000 virgin boys and girls
And these plants to venture the East,
that's Japan
So how can you say they're not from China?
Cheng Wu was in the
Ming Dynasty, not the Chin
Difference of 1,000
years. It was Hsu Fu, fool!
Anyway, they're from China.
Or they can't be so tall
Shorten a bit, then, it's Japanese
It should be like this!
No, it should be like that!
It should be like that!
Like this...
Madam, the door of
your place is so refreshing
My mom destroyed it.
Since she died three years ago!
Nothing has been moved or changed
Especially these three plants.
They're her favorites
You two bums!
I told you not to fool
around with these things!
You must be hungry.
I'll go out for some food
Madam, don't you believe a word he said!
I didn't touch anything, I didn't!
Do I look like someone who is so nosy?
I have been brought up very properly
Macky made me dressed up as a woman
He said he wanted to see how I look like.
Don't you know he's guy?
He's guy... really
Bastard!
Beady eyes is badmouthing me again.
He'll see!
Madam, don't be mad at me
Your dad is not in Hong Kong to comfort you
How about me taking his place to do so, uh?
You, get away from me!
Madam, aren't you
afraid all alone in there?
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Madam, it's me. Are you feeling lonely?
Get put!
Yes, Madam!
That proves she's really not interest in me
What a failure!
Man Chiu,
what are you doing?
I'll really scare you
this time. Play cool?!
Where's my undies?
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper
The other side of love
is hate. She must pay!
Such a coward. What a cop!!
Help
Open the door...
Open up... He's here.
No, I won't...
Open up
I won't...
Close the door, quick!
Want a night snack?
Here are two of them!
I was just fooling around...
Wait for me!
What is the matter with you?
No, | I'm having a cramp!
Now what?
There's only one thing to do
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Dipper your head!
He's fearless
There's him in the woods, I'll die for sure
Shut up!
Bite you to death...
What an act! I'm Macky Kim!
Seeing you again is such a relief!
Let's talk no more. Go
in and check on Madam
Where's my undies?
Troublemaker!
You saw? Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
It worked! Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Eminent what! It's me!
How is it? Everything is all right now?
Seeing you two again bring tears to my eyes
How come you two are standing there?
How's that? His blood stings!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Oh, my god!
Let me borrow them for a while
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
No, I can't
Don't come near me! Help me!
Eminent Star Strikes Dipper!
Bread stick!
Now what should we do? So trouble!
There are only two ways to go
Which two?
First, is to head onto the haunted house
Haunted house? No way.
I choose the second one
Go to the cementary and dig out
seven coffin nails
Then come and meet me at the haunted house
Cementary? That's worse
Let's move!
This really look suspicious!
What a coward!
What are you doing here alone?
I...
[... You don't know?
I've come for Ah Wong!
You finally admit Ah Wong didn't die!
Everyone shares problems
but not rewards, right?
That's really logical!
You stay here. I'll go!
Catching thieves under
such atmosphere is fun
Much more comfortable
Ah Wong, stop right there!
Who? Ah Wong?
Playing with me, right?
Sir, are you okay?
It's okay...
Ah Wong Play tricks on it.
Let me teach him.
Ah Wong,
why are you standing here like a wooden?
Look at you. Dressed like that
Wanna scare me?
That's really stupid!
Look at you.
Even painted your nails?
Aren't you ashamed?
No matter how you try,
you don't look like one
Let me teach you how to be a ghost
I'm sorry! I've mad a big mistake
So it's Samo Hung
making a horror movie here
I love all the movies he made
Where's Lam Chin Ying? I want his autograph
He's not here.
I'll come back again
Local movie producers are so serious now
Using real ghost to make horror movie
No wonder the box
offices are ridding so high
Given the chance, I want to have a part too
Help.
Ghost! Ghost!
Help. Help me...
Macky Kim, help...
Run! Hurry!
This way!
What now?
Fight back! We may still have a chance
Help... help...
I got the nails!
Man Chiu, help!
I'm coming!
Go to dead!
Man Chiu, where's the nail?
Over there
Hurry...
Help...
Hurry...
Help...
That creature is right behind!
Let's go out the other way
You are really too much...
Why didn't you tell me he is so fierceful?
I've really run my legs out
Sir, he's already half
dead from our nailings
Look at him. He's more tired than us
Sir, What are you laughing at?
Day is breaking.
He's afraid of the Sun. We're not afraid.
You're right!
Help...
He is coming, what should I do?
Let's pull him back
He is coming, Run
Run
Sir, I'm Sorry
It's too much. Fortunately,
The cut is not deep
Let's Aevenge for Chief!
Sino-Japanese war ended so long,
don't stir up again
Let me do this.
Man Chiu, Are you ok?
Macky Kim, Be careful!
HOLD ON
Let's Go, Go!
No... No... Not my business
Don't bite! I have Hong Kong foot!
Go to hell!
Don't let him stop. Go after him!
I following you!
Be careful!
Sir, catch!
It really hurts
Help, help me!
Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose
He's afraid of sunlight!
Oh no! Sir!
Are you right, sir?
I'm all right...
Are you right, Madam?
I'm all right...
He didn't bite you?
No!
Better check thoroughly
Bitten
Yes, but it's a hicky
Then we must really check it out!