The Intern (2015) Movie Script

Freud said,
"Love and work. Work and love.
"That's all there is."
Well, I'm retired,
and my wife is dead.
As you can imagine,
that's given me
some time on my hands.
My wife's been gone
for three and a half years.
I miss her in every way.
And retirement?
That is an ongoing,
relentless effort
in creativity.
At first, I admit
I enjoyed the novelty of it.
Sort of felt like
I was playing hooky.
I used all the miles I'd saved
and traveled the globe.
The problem was,
no matter where I went,
as soon as I got home,
the nowhere-to-be thing
hit me like a ton of bricks.
I realized the key
to this whole deal
was to keep moving.
Get up, get out of the house,
and go somewhere. Anywhere.
Come rain or shine,
I'm at my Starbucks by 7:15.
Excuse me,
mind if we join you here?
Hey, how are ya?
Can't explain it,
but it makes me
feel part of something.
These guys today,
they're not numbers guys.
Don't talk figures with them.
How do I spend
the rest of my days?
You name it.
Golf, books, movies, pinochle
Tried yoga, learned to cook,
bought some plants,
took classes in Mandarin.
Translation, "Believe me,
I've tried everything."
And then, of course,
there are the funerals.
So many more
than I could imagine.
The only traveling I do
these days is out to San Diego
to visit my son
and his family.
They're great.
I love 'em to pieces.
But to be honest, I think
I probably relied on them
way more than I should.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not an unhappy person.
Quite the contrary.
I just know
there's a hole in my life,
and I need to fill it.
Which brings me to today,
when I was leaving the market
and caught your flyer
out of the corner of my eye.
"Seniors, be an intern."
I thought that was you. Hi.
-What'd you find?
I think an Internet place
is looking for senior interns.
-Am I reading this right?
-Let me see.
"Applicants must be
over 65 years of age,
"have organizational skills,
"a genuine interest in
e-commerce," whatever that is,
"and a roll-up-your-sleeves
isn't that the Outfit
that Was...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They bought one of those
old factories in Red Hook.
My daughter says they sell
clothes on the Internet.
How that works,
I have no idea.
Well, you have to
upload the application.
That could be challenging.
Listen to this,
"Cover letters
are so old-fashioned.
"Show us who you are
with a cover-letter video.
"Upload your video
to YouTube or Vimeo
"using .mov, .avi,
or a .mpg file.
"We look forward
to meeting you."
Well, I guess
that's meeting me.
I swear I don't even know
what language that was.
What are you
doing tonight, Ben?
A frozen lasagna?
I could make a little salad,
turn it into a dinner for two,
like we did that time
and never did again.
You know that was
over five months ago?
Oh, yeah. No, no, we gotta
do that again, for sure,
but okay if we take
a rain check?
You're awful cute,
you know that?
No, I didn't.
Well, it's true, you are.
So I'll see you.
Don't take too long, doll.
You're not getting
any younger.
-I know, I know, I know.
-All right.
So here I am,
applying to be
one of your interns
because the more
I think about this idea,
the more tremendous
I think it is.
I love the idea of having
a place I can go every day.
I want the connection,
the excitement.
I wanna be challenged,
and I guess I might even
wanna be needed.
The tech stuff might
take a bit to figure out.
I had to call
my 9-year-old grandson
just to find out
what a USB connector was.
But I'll get there.
Eager to learn.
Also, I want you to know
I've been a company man
all my life.
I'm loyal, I'm trustworthy,
and I'm good in a crisis.
And I love that
you're right here in Brooklyn.
I've lived here all my life,
and lately I feel
I may not be hip enough
to live in Brooklyn,
so this could help
with that, too.
I read once,
musicians don't retire.
They stop when there's
no more music in them.
Well, I still have
music in me,
absolutely positive
about that.
Good news,
I found a size eight in navy.
No, you are right.
That package
should have arrived by now.
Let me track that for you.
Yep, these pants are awesome
if you have hips.
Super slimming.
Okay, let me
just review this with you.
You have six bridesmaids.
You ordered six
of the silk chiffon
Antoinette dresses in pink.
The wedding is in three days,
and the dresses just arrived
all in charcoal gray,
which we don't even sell,
so that is a bit of a mystery.
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do about this.
I am gonna call the vendor
and have this fixed today.
I will personally
see the dresses
before they are Fed Exed,
and I promise you they will
be at your front door
by 9:00 a.m. Friday, okay?
You know what, let me give you
my cell just in case,
Oh, thank you so much
for your patience,
and I am gonna refund you back
all your money. it's the...
Okay, hey, you check
this one off your list, okay?
This is done.
And, Rachel,
have a great wedding.
Oh, my God,
how did that happen?
I know, I know,
I'm late for something.
Yeah, everything.
You see why I take
customer service calls?
I mean, it's so good.
You learn so much.
Okay, what's up?
What am I doing?
Okay, Cameron was waiting for
you, but had another meeting.
He said he'll be back at 2:00.
Um, everyone
needs you to sign off
-on tomorrow's homepage.
And your 11:00
is in the big conference room.
So is your 11:10.
Finance needs you,
and I guess you e-mailed
a bunch of people
at 4:00 a.m. about something?
Oh, good, I forgot about that.
I want to figure out
a way for friends
to shop together online.
Make it less
of an alone thing.
E-mail me that idea, will you?
Yeah, I like that.
Um, is now a good time
to call your mom back?
-Dude, I'm on a bike.
- Happy birthday!
Oh, what a mess-
This is the middle
of the office. Don't do...
Don't put that--
I'm Ben Whittaker.
I received an e-mail
about an interview
for the senior intern program.
Hey, Ben. How's it goin'?
It's going good, real good.
Thank you.
Take a seat around the corner,
and someone from talent
acquisition will come get you.
Thank you.
"Talent acquisition"?
Okay, you guys
have to remember;
the homepage
has to read in a glance.
Also, you have to get back
like this if you wanna see
what it looks like
if you're, like, over 35.
Okay, so I can't
read anything,
but if I could,
what do you want me to see?
"Five Girls, One Shirt"
or "Check Out The Fit"?
Well, both, but what I really
want you to see
is the shirt worn by
five different body types.
Okay, then you gotta
make me see that.
Try making
the photo grid bigger.
I love that five.
Can we make it more graphic?
Yeah, that's cool.
Maybe hero the girl
in the red shirt.
-That is a great red.
It is going to fly outta here.
I needed you to sign off
on this, like, two hours ago.
I know, I know,
but can you try?
IVlia? Tell me that thing again.
Oh, 40% of our visitors
don't go past the homepage,
which isn't so bad.
Yeah, but we should fix that.
Okay, here you go.
I love it.
-Great, and it's up.
-Okay. Thanks, everybody.
Thank you.
Okay, so...
The Antoinette dress.
Major screw-up by the vendor.
There's gonna be a couple
of interviews today, Ben.
We wanna make sure that
we both find the right fit.
"Business as usual"
is not really our motto,
so we hope
you have some fun here.
This is the first time
we are hiring senior interns,
so some of
our intern questions
may not exactly
fit your profile,
but we're gonna
go for it anwvay, okay?
Fire away.
Okay, good.
Where'd you go to school?
I went to Northwestern.
Hey, my brother
went to Northwestern.
Probably not at the same time.
Probably not.
He graduated in 2009.
-Class of '65
Wow, what was your major?
Do you remember?
And after Northwestern,
you went on to...
I went to work for Dex One.
Okay, and they made...
I was in charge
of overseeing the printing
of the physical phonebook.
I did that for over 20 years,
and before that I was their
VP of sales and advertising.
So, do they still
make phonebooks?
I mean, doesn't everyone
just Google numbers?
I believe they do, but before
Google that was how you got...
Oh, no, no. Yeah, I get it.
So 40 years
at the phonebook company?
That is amazing, seriously.
Okay, Benjamin. Now,
I'm gonna ask you one of
our more telling questions
for all of our interns,
so I want you to, like,
this is the one
to really think about, okay?
And take your time.
Where do you see yourself
in 10 years?
When I'm 80?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, whatever. Um...
Wait. Did not realize
you were 70.
That question just doesn't
work for you, does it?
Should we just scratch
that one and just move on?
-It's your call, Justin.
-Okay, that one's gone.
You look great,
by the way, so great,
and you're clearly more
than qualified for this job.
You're actually, like,
way overqualified,
and we were so impressed.
You had great interviews,
great video.
You nailed it, Ben. Congrats.
You're an intern.
Hey. I need you for
two minutes, uninterrupted.
-Hi. Okay.
-Remember a few weeks ago,
we talked about
the senior intern program?
Really? We had a whole,
big conversation about it.
We did? Okay, remind me.
Seniors in high school
or college?
No, no, no. Seniors in life.
Older people.
Hold on. What?
I told you
I felt like we needed
to do an outreach program.
You definitely seemed
to be liking the idea,
so I set it in motion.
It's gonna be great.
Hold, please. You're hiring
senior citizen interns?
There's been
a ton of research on this,
and the results
are actually incredible.
I mean,
imagine having an intern
with a lifetime of experience
as opposed to
somebody who spent
the last four years of
their life playing beer pong.
Do they eventually
want jobs here?
No, darling,
they're all retired.
They just want the experience.
And I would like one to
work directly with you.
-Wait, Cameron, no.
First of all, I'm not great
with older people.
You know how I am with
my parents. This could be...
Why do I have to have one?
Because you have
to set the tone.
Now, would you prefer
a man or a woman?
There's a great 72-year-old
woman, really cute.
Ugh That's like the same age
as my mom. That's too weird.
That's fine.
There's a man everyone loves.
He seems amazing.
I watched his video
with the whole group.
People were crying.
Okay, this is not
going to work, in my opinion.
But how long do I have to
do this for? Minimum?
Six weeks, or we'll be sued.
I know we never
talked about this.
Yeah, we did. For real.
He starts tomorrow.
Back in action.
Thank God.
New interns,
welcome to A TF.
We all work on this one floor,
and that is because
we are all about communication
and teamwork.
No one has a private office,
not even our founder
and CEO, Jules Ostin,
who is actually
right over there.
She loves to ride her bike
through the office.
That woman does not
like to waste time.
Plus, she counts it
as exercise.
That's adorable.
Yeah. IVlmm-hmm.
Hey. How you doing? I'm Davis.
Hi, Davis. Ben Whittaker.
Exciting place, huh?
Oh, my God.
They had one opening
for a regular-age intern,
no offense.
I got it. I'm so psyched.
I'm pretty psyched myself.
All right,
a few words about Jules.
She started About The Fit
only 18 months ago.
This whole idea was hatched
at Jules' kitchen table
right here in Brooklyn.
Jules tried everything on
that she sold,
described the fit herself,
and apparently, it worked.
She was online in four months.
She started with 25 employees.
She's now up to 216.
With you four, 220.
Hey, Ben, are you gonna
wear a suit every day?
-You bet.
I like how you roll.
I like it a lot.
We just hit a record high
of 2,500 likes on Instagram.
And that's what we do
when something good
happens around here.
New interns, grab a seat
at one of the intern tables
over there.
Check your e-mail.
You may find that
you've been assigned
to one particular person
or one particular team.
Or you might
just be a floater
it's all good.
Okay, let me Instagram this.
Moment in time.
-Gray is the new green.
Take a seat.
Oh, got one.
Welcome, Ben.
Your internship
will be directly
with our founder; Jules Ostin
Oh, I'm in the photo studio.
Floater. Love!
Hey, Ben, what'd you get?
Looks like I'm gonna be
a personal intern.
Nice. To?
Jules Ostin
Hang in there.
Hi, Ben. I have secured
an appointment for you
to meet with Jules Ostin
today at 3:55 p.m.
Please be prompt, as Jules has
another meeting at 4:00 p- m-
All right,
I'm going to merchandising.
it's perfect.
Yes, I'll try to have
her there at 5:00.
Um, no, wait,
I booked her with a vendor
at 5:15. I'm sorry.
I'll call you back.
Yes, hello?
Hi, I'm Ben Whittaker.
I have a 3:55 appointment
with Ms. Ostin
I thought she was meeting
with her new intern.
That's me.
How you doing?
I'm sorry.
Uh, how are you an intern?
It's the new
senior intern program.
It just started today.
Oh, my God. Um...
How old are you?
Seventy. You?
I'm 24. I know, I look older.
It's the job. It ages you.
Which won't be great
in your case.
I actually thought
you looked younger.
Yeah, right.
Any tips before I go in?
Just talk fast.
She hates slow talkers.
Maybe that's just
when I talk slow.
Don't dawdle in any way.
Just keep it moving.
And don't forget to blink.
Yeah, she hates
when people don't blink.
It weirds her out.
But it's 3:57.
This meeting that she's in
just took up,
like, two of your...
They're out. Go, go, go.
-Okay, thanks.
-Go. Yeah.
What? Oh, yeah, I'm here.
Hi, Jules?
I'm Ben, your new intern.
I'm glad you also see
the humor in this.
Be hard not to.
So, Ben...
I was gonna say
what is a nice guy like you
doing at 8 place like this?
But Cameron gave me the drill,
so can I just be
honest with you?
I'm not gonna have
a lot for you to do.
That's the truth.
And you being assigned to me
is kind of just
for me to set an example
for the rest of the team.
If you ask me,
I think that you'd be
much better off
working in creative
or marketing.
It's a little bit slower pace,
maybe a little bit
easier to grasp.
If you requested a transfer,
we can make that happen.
If that's what you'd prefer.
You'll be happier, believe me.
I am not so fun to work for.
That's what I gather,
but I can get along
with anyone,
and I'm here to learn
about your world,
give help where I can, so...
So, you don't wanna transfer?
Not really, sir.
I'm terribly sorry.
Excuse me.
Well, then looks like
you're stuck with me.
Great, I'm excited.
I will e-mail you when I have
something for you to do.
Or I could just stop by
a few times a day, check in...
I'll e-mail you.
Also, don't feel like
you have to dress up.
I mean, we're super cas here.
Well, I'm comfortable
in a suit, if it's okay.
No, it's fine. Old-school.
At least I'll stand out.
I don't think you need
a suit to do that.
Well, I think we did it
in less than two minutes.
I'll wait to hear from you.
Want the door open or closed?
Doesn't matter.
Open, actually.
You'll get used to me.
Look forward to it.
What do you need?
What's up, Ben? Are you good?
- The V-neck back tee?
- Okay.
-This is Holly.
-Can you run that up to them?
Yeah, no, no.
We love the whole line, IVlark.
Okay, so you can zoom out.
Like that.
I'm going to a meeting.
I'll be back in an hour.
We'll talk then?
And then you can
just click here to buy it.
Cool, yeah.
Hello? Hi, yeah.
All right. You staying?
Can't leave before
the boss leaves, Davis.
Looks like you're
gonna be here a while.
All right.
See you in the morning, Ben.
-Have a good night.
-You, too.
Let's make it happen.
How about I push, you deliver?
Thank you.
I like that there's four faves
instead of three,
but can I see the one
-without the jacket just to...
Okay, so they wanna know
what customers bought
who didn't come back,
so they can spot a problem
if there is one, right?
Yeah, but I don't
understand how to...
All right, here's what
I think we should do.
-Ben! Ben!
-We should go...
Hey, hey, look.
Here she comes.
Watch how she won't even...
Hey, Beck. What's up?
You look really nice.
How long can a woman
be mad at you for?
Well, it kind of depends
on what you did.
Well, first of all,
nothing on purpose.
We were going out
for a minute.
I thought she was cool.
I really liked her.
But then, I sort of
accidentally slept
with her roommate.
That doesn't help.
I didn't know she was
her roommate. I met her out.
How would I know that?
- Hey, Nikki!
-Ben, tell me.
I don't know this stuff
You're olden
You've been through a lot.
I mean,
you have a lot of experience.
How long do you think
she'll be mad at me for?
Jay, I have zero experience
with women,
and I can tell you, there's
no coming back from that one.
I assume you talked to her,
told her how much
she means to you...
Well, you know...
You didn't talk to her?
What did you do,
send her a tweet?
No, of course not. I, like,
texted her a billion times.
She didn't answer,
so then I e-mailed her.
But it was, like,
a nice e-mail.
It was along one,
Subject line I wrote,
llllm Sorrylll
with like a ton of "O's."
So it was like, "I'm sorry,"
with a sad emoticon
where he's crying at the side
of its little cheek.
I should probably actually
just talk to her, huh?
Can't imagine it would hurt.
Oh, did yesterday's
numbers come in?
We could do it
that way, too.
I noticed my intern
sure keeps busy.
Mr. Congeniality.
He's a very big hit.
Everybody loves him.
Okay, do not look
at that desk.
It's like the office
junk drawer.
It's just gonna
drive you crazy.
You just did that.
What are you,
preparing for surgery?
Okay, seriously?
How did this even happen?
No, no, I can set it up.
She's just in a meeting.
Hi, something
I can help you with?
Yes, Jules spilled soy sauce
on her Saint Laurent jacket.
Can you take it
to the photo studio?
There's lots of cleaners
and stuff in there.
-Sure, where is it?
-She's wearing it.
They would like us
to consider the possibility...
...of meeting with
some potential CEOs.
I did not see that coming.
why? uh...
Am I too inexperienced
at running a business?
I didn't go to Harvard?
My methods aren't by the book?
I mean,
isn't that how we got here?
I need adult supervision?
Could we be doing better?
We hit our five-year goal
in nine months.
Jules, we can't keep up
with our own success.
You know that.
You're an hour late
to every meeting.
We have a name for it,
"Jules Standard Time."
And look, I get it. There's
only so many hours in the day.
We're all playing catch-up.
Our tech guys work until
2:00, 3:00 in the morning.
Customer service is slammed.
We're running out
of inventory.
We've got shipping issues
and programing problems,
and the bigger we get,
the more complicated
it's gonna get.
But isn't this
what a startup is?
Say it. What is everyone
so worried about?
That it's all going too fast,
and it could get away from us.
Our investors just think
that a seasoned CEO
could take some things
off your plate.
That's all. Just free you up
to do what you do great.
You come up with the ideas,
and let somebody else
make the trains run on time.
But, Cameron, this new person,
they are going to want to
do things their way.
Technically, be my boss.
I mean, how can I do what I do
if I have to report
to someone else,
run every idea I have
by this person?
And can you see that working?
Well, Gilt Groupe
brought in a CEO.
How are they doing?
I mean, get me CEO lessons,
you know?
Uh, excuse me.
I apologize, but Becky said
you needed something
taken care of on yourjacket
Oh, right.
Thank you, Ben.
Of course.
The VCs made up a list
of potential CEOs.
Let's just take
a look at the list.
Explore it, then decide.
Baby steps.
Something big
going on in there?
I couldn't say.
You were in there a long time.
I can't hear a thing.
Say something
about me to her.
No, you have to do it.
On my way, boss.
Hmm. Boss.
Hey, Ben. Ben.
How old's that briefcase?
It's a 1973
Executive Ashburn attach.
They don't make it anymore.
I'm a little in love with it.
It's a classic, Lewis.
It's unbeatable.
Good night.
Oh, my God.
Somebody cleaned up that desk.
I swear, I was gonna stay late
and do this myself.
Wasn't me.
Ben came in at 7:00
this morning and did it.
Ben. Your intern.
Ben Whiftakeli
Someone's very happy.
Brilliant. Thank you.
Best thing that's happened
around here all week.
Thank you.
This is your gift
for a job well done.
I'm Fiona, the house masseuse.
-Hi, Fiona. Ben.
Does that feel okay?
It feels great, actually.
Thank you.
Okay. You're a little
bit tight, Ben.
Well, I haven't sat at a desk
for a while.
My body's not used to it.
No, I get it.
Plus, they say
sitting is the new smoking.
Let me see what I can do.
I spotted you
in the lunchroom.
I wondered who you were.
-Did you? Oh.
Then someone told me
you were an intern.
That's pretty cool
of you to do this.
Well, it's a brave new world.
Thought I'd jump in.
See what it's all about.
Yeah, I know. Absolutely.
I'm constantly amazed
at what they do here.
Love bein' a part of it.
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah. There.
Yeah. Right there.
-How's that, Ben?
-Well, it's
-Oh, boy.
- Good.
Okay, good. Good, good.
There, good.
Here you go.
A little
tight right here.
-Is that better?
-Oh, boy, oh, boy.
FIONAI Oh. HOW'S that?
-Oh, boy.
Well, it was nice
to meet you, Ben.
Love that there's another
oldie but goodie here.
Nice to meet you.
-See you later?
-Love to.
IVle, too.
You're not as old
as I thought you were.
Wait, so you're saying
you shave
-every day?
-Even on Sundays?
-Every day.
Okay, and even if you know
that you're not gonna see
anyone that you know?
-How is this possible?
I'm on
and I literally can't afford
a single apartment
in all of Brooklyn.
My parents gave me
two weeks to find a place,
and that's just
not gonna happen.
Getting evicted?
Hey, I'm in no rush,
but apparently they are.
All right, here.
Let me see your phone.
CheapApartments. com.
Have you tried Craigslist?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Then I am out of ideas.
-How are you?
- Hi.
How are you?
-Hey, how's it going?
-Hey. Good.
-uh, Mike, right?
Yeah, I'm Ben.
I work for Jules.
Yeah, she'll be down
in a minute.
I Know. Look, I don't wanna
make you feel uncomfortable,
but I just happen to have
looked out the window,
and it appeared you were
drinking something
from a paper bag.
I don't know what
you're talking about, man.
Why don't you tell her
you can't drive her today,
or I'm gonna have to.
-We all good?
I'm sorry to do this,
but I'm actually
not feeling so hot.
Not sure I should be driving.
I wouldn't wanna
give you anything.
Oh, sure. Yeah, no,
you should take the day off
and feel better, okay?
I'm happy to cover for Mike.
That's okay.
Becky can drive me.
Really? You wanna give her
more to do?
I hope you don't mind
if I don't get in the front.
I'm not trying to be rude.
I just think better
in the back.
I mean,
I could get in the front...
-This is perfect.
-Yeah. Yeah.
And everything
you hear in the car
is strictly confidential.
-Goes without saying.
Hi, IVlom
- Oh, I found you.
So, what's up?
How's everything?
Well, your dad and I are
finally putting together
all our research
at the hospital.
-That's great.
-I hear you typing.
That's better.
So we've been studying
women under 40
who sleepless than
six hours a night.
-And what'd you find out?
-it's interesting.
It seems like
they're 38% more likely
to experience
major weight gain
compared to women
who slept seven hours a night.
Are you kidding me?
You know I haven't slept
in two years.
Well, Ican't
change the facts, dean
Mom, you Know what?
I'm rushing into the city
for a meeting,
and I need to prepare.
Can I call you
when I get home?
Oh, you don't have to.
Okay. Love you.
-Thank you.
Hey, how we doin '?
Did you look over
the material on Atwood?
Yeah, I did.
Uh, he had a great run
at Travelocity and Citigroup,
and I get it. He's major.
He is.
And the best thing about him
is he's been watching us,
and he loves what we're doing.
But he's only
one of the names on the list.
So if you don't like him,
we move on.
But, Jules, try to be open.
He's supposed to be brilliant.
And the VCs love him. A lot.
Mark Zuckerberg
never brought in a CEO,
and he was a teenager.
Call me after.
Oh, thanks, but you don't
have to. I can open the door.
Okay, so this shouldn't take
more than an hour.
But if you can't stay here,
I'll call Becky,
and then she'll find you,
and then you can
just pull up...
Don't worry. I'll be here.
I think I forgot to eat today.
Should I pick you up
some sushi?
No, I eat too much mercury.
I'll be fine.
I'm good. I'm actually
kind of nauseous, so...
That was fast.
Not fast enough.
Oh, I picked you up some soup
from a place I know.
You really didn't
have to do...
Oh, my God,
that smells so good.
Word travels fast.
-Pretty short meeting.
-Yeah. I hated him.
Really? What happened?
I thought he was
a condescending,
sexist know-it-all
who did not seem to
get what we do at all.
And, honestly,
I think he would
run our business
in a completely inorganic way
that would lose us
all the customers we have
killed ourselves to get.
Oh, and I think
that he would replace us
as soon as he got the chance.
Oh, and...
The man never blinked.
An Olympian non-blinken
Okay, then.
See you in the a.m?
Be there or be square.
I'm sorry.
Hey, don't be.
I just wanted to say thank you
for helping out
with Mike today and for
getting me chicken soup.
Oh, and for cleaning
that mess.
That was awesome. Seriously.
You're very welcome.
It's okay.
I really won't bite.
You started this business
all by yourself
a year and a half ago,
and now you have
a staff of 220 people.
Remember who did that.
Thank you.
And I hate to say it,
but try to get some sleep.
my favorite girl.
Hey, baby.
-Hi, honey.
Over the hump.
-So how was your day?
-Kind of okay.
But you know what? Maddie said
she didn't wanna be
-my friend anymore.
You know what?
I don't think she meant it.
She'd miss you too much.
I'm startin' to think
that Maddie is bipolar.
We go through this
every other day.
-We do.
Oh, how was your meeting?
It was today, right?
Yeah, just had it.
Mommy, I think I'm winning.
Oh, that is so cool.
Yeah, that's
the Play-Doh cake challenge.
We 're not finishing
until tomorrow,
so please hold on all judging.
Not to mention that we had
an accident with mine,
when someone,
not to name any names,
put her elbow in it.
- What?
-It was an accident.
Well, I gotta say,
I love the pink one a lot.
That's mine.
Are you happy at me?
I am so happy at you.
I'm beyond happy at you.
Daddy helped me
with the icing.
Good job, you guys.
So, how about
I give you your bath?
Wait, hang on.
I was waiting for your call.
So you didn't like the guy?
He wasn't a good fit for me.
But a lot of other names
on the list, so...
I'm gonna beat you upstairs.
Ben, I haven?
seen you in days.
That's right, homey.
Ben's got a job.
-Oh, you're never home.
What do you do?
Never mind. It's Patty.
Hi, Fiona.
It's Ben Whittaker
from About The Fit.
Oh, hey.
It's good to hear your voice.
Oh, it's good to hear
your voice, too.
It was great
meeting you today.
I called you quicker
than you thought I would.
I'm glad you did.
Let her sleep, Dad.
I tried to stay up.
I know.
I'm sorry
I fell asleep in there.
I just passed out.
I know we had a plan to have
a grown-up conversation.
You wanna Netflix something?
I'm sorry, I just fell out
for a second.
It's okay.
Paige learned to say
"humongous" today.
Cracks me up.
She looks at me, she says,
"You're a very
humongous dad, Dad"
Oh, God.
You know I hate to sound
like the other moms.
But I'm starting to feel like
I need a little me time.
I know.
Good night.
Anybody home?
Can't keep my eyes open, Jule.
We'll do it tomorrow, okay?
Can you turn out your light?
-Hey, Ben. It's Becky.
-From Jules' office?
-Yeah, hey. What's up?
Jules' driver is M. LA.
He's not answering
any of my texts.
I know you drove
Jules yesterday,
and I didn't hear
any complaints.
So can you pick her up
this morning?
You know where she lives?
I was there yesterday.
-Okay, so you remember.
-And you're hearing me, right?
-Loud and clear, boss.
Okay, so be there at 7:45,
ring the bell, and walk away.
She'll know it's you.
Ring bell, walk away. Got it.
Oh, walk away.
Hang on. I'm comin'.
Hi, here for Jules?
Uh, yeah, hi, sorry.
I'll wait in the car.
Uh, she's on a call.
Do you wanna come in?
I just made some coffee.
Could be a while. I'm IVlatt.
Ben Whittaker.
Good to meet you. Come on in.
Uh, Legos everywhere,
so watch your step.
Maybe feature some
bloggers on the homepage?
-Have a seat, Ben.
Hey, Paige, this is Ben.
He works with Mommy.
I'm playing
Princess Memory Game.
Oh, yeah. Looks like
you're about to win.
So you're Jules' new driver?
No, actually, I'm her intern.
That's hysterical.
-You know what an intern is?
That's okay. Everyone
thinks it's hysterical.
Hey, Matt, did...
Is that all dry cleaning?
These three are.
These two are laundry.
And, uh, this button...
This button is missing.
-I mean, it's loose, so...
-If they could just... Thanks.
-You got it.
Hey, and, honey,
uh, before you leave,
just gotta go over
a couple things.
-Look who I found.
-He was in your hamper.
-Thank you.
Matty, did an ATF box
arrive for me?
On the table.
Uh, I think
I'll just wait out...
Ben, you want a raisin?
Thank you.
Okay, so tonight,
you're working...
Are you listening,
or did I lose you?
-Ben, is she listening?
-I am totally listening.
I ordered some stuff
to check on how it arrived.
Not great, by the way.
-Go on. Tonight?
- Yeah, okay.
You're working,
so Paige and I are gonna go
to my mom's for dinner.
After school's
Ruby's birthday party.
And what about next Monday?
Do you know yet
if we can go to dinner
with Robbie and Annie?
Oh, I'm so slammed next week.
I'm sorry. If you wanna go,
I'll make it. When was it?
Oh, my God. Monday.
Okay, I'm sorry. I was fixated
on this tissue paper.
I will be there.
Thank you for the coffee.
Thanks for letting me play.
-I'll meet you in the car.
Actually, I have to go.
Come on, sweetie.
Ben, we're gonna drop Paige
at school, okay? Here we go.
-Let's do it.
-Kiss Daddy goodbye.
Hey, wait.
You forgot your doggy.
Matt seems like
a terrific guy.
Oh, sorry,
didn't mean to interrupt.
Uh, that's okay.
I agree. He is.
Who? The Dad?
That's what the other kids
call Matt
because he's the only dad
in a sea of moms.
I've read about
these househusbands.
It's interesting how that
all worked just now.
They actually prefer to be
called stay-at-home dads.
Oh, sorry. Did not know that.
Well, it's very admirable.
He's a real
21 st century father.
He is.
He actually had a great job
in marketing,
but, um, when
About The Fit took off,
he left to be a full-time dad.
Totally saved our butts.
Oh! We're here, big girl.
I do this
in the cafeteria
to my lunch friends
-when they're don't looking.
-You do that?
- Hey, Jules.
-Hi. Nice to see you here.
Uh, not sure
if you got our e-mail,
but we're doing
a fiesta lunch next Friday,
and we thought you could
bring the guacamole
Uh, you probably won't have
time to make it,
so you can buy it.
Which is fine.
Enough for 18.
No, I can make it.
it's not a problem.
-Great. Matt can bring it.
All right.
Have a great day, sweet pea.
Have fun at
Ruby's party, okay?
Mommy? Do you Know
how to make guacamole?
Yes, I do.
Really well, in fact.
We're gonna make it together.
And after that, we'll have
a mother-daughter dance party?
Hey, Maddie. What's up?
Oh, my God. Come here.
-Oh, I love you, big girl.
-I love you, too.
Taking the high road
is exhausting.
Ll"S 2015.
Are we really still critical
of working moms?
Seriously? Still?
I'm sorry.
That was all rhetorical.
There's no need to respond.
-Wasn't going to.
Oh! Ben.
I wanna stop by the warehouse.
480 Greenpoint.
You wanna make a right.
9th to Hamilton
to the Expressway.
Uh, I think we should take
4th to Flatbush. Much faster.
It won't be.
By 12 minutes, at least.
Can I try?
I apologize.
No need.
Try to line the dots up
the best you can.
And then...
Okay. Pull this over.
If you can,
try to pull this towards you,
holding it on the outside.
- Good meeting you.
-Let me know
-if you need anything.
-Thank you.
Okay, so then
put that on lightly.
Put it down with two.
Secure it.
Our package should feel like
they're getting a little gift
that they bought
for themselves.
it's open.
- Come on in.
-Didn't expect this.
Yeah. I like to think of it
as a little bit of paradise.
Can I interest you
in a back rub?
Oh, no, thanks.
I just came by
because I found out
I have to work late.
-Oh. Then no dinner tonight.
I was really
looking forward to it.
But I'm hoping
we can pick another night.
Of course. Come sit down.
Let me have your jacket.
Just for a minute.
Come on. Relax.
Okay, how about
a foot massage?
During office hours?
Yeah, that's kind of
the point. May I?
It's already pretty good.
All I've done
is take off your sock.
Well, no one's ever
done that better.
Okay, just relax.
Close your eyes.
-Put your head back.
So when would you
like to reschedule?
Can't tomorrow.
What about Saturday?
Oh, God.
This is enormously satisfying.
What time
should I pick you up?
Noon? I love daytime dates.
Lunch, perfect. It's sooner.
So how's it going?
How's Jules?
Yeah, I mean, she works
on all cylinders all the time.
Doesn't stop, doesn't sleep,
never see her eat.
Maybe it's good
that I'm here, you know?
I hope I can help hen
I knew you were
gonna be a good guy.
I knew it.
-Try to relax.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. I'm leaving.
I'm leaving!
Sorry, don't stop.
I'm leaving.
Oh, my shoe. Sorry.
I don't know, kid. This lease
doesn't look so hot to me.
Three-month security deposit.
You must really
love this place.
-No, it's horrible.
But I can get in this week.
Well, if I were you,
I'd keep looking.
-Hey, Lewis. What's up?
I've never seen you so awake.
I was just asked to deliver
this huge order to Tribeca,
and I think it's to
Jay Z's apartment.
I'm not kidding.
Look, it says, "S. Carter."
I'm a little freaked out.
I don't know who that is,
but is this someone
you want to impress?
This is a genius, Ben.
Whoa, what if Beyonc
opens the door?
Oh, my God.
Okay, now I know
who you're talking about.
Well, maybe you should put on
a proper shirt with a collar.
A collar?
These are hip-hop people.
Dress to impress, Lewis.
Go to the rack. Find
a boyfriend shirt that fits.
Bring the hair down
if you can.
Tuck in the shirt.
Why doesn't anybody
tuck anything in anymore?
-I'm asking you.
-Okay, okay.
We made some progress.
Very big day
for the intern team.
It was great. I mean,
she yelled at me, but...
She yells at me
all the time, too.
-Right? It was communication.
-It was a breakthrough.
-Oh, you want one, too? Okay.
Okay, boys.
I'm possibly meeting Jay Z
and/or Beyonc,
and I'm in a blouse.
Wear it, dude.
It's an improvement.
Not true.
Big one.
-I hate eating alone.
-So do I.
You know, you don't actually
have to keep doing that.
Well, force of habit.
Here you go. Swiped
these from the tech fridge.
Oh, nice going.
-You want a slice?
-Sure, thanks.
I noticed a couple hours ago,
you had a meeting with
another possible CEO.
I saw him arrive.
How'd that go?
It was going well
until he called us...
I believe the term
he used was a "chick site."
And I didn't hear
anything he said after that.
Apparently, selling clothes
makes us a "chick site."
I mean, really?
How is this not legit?
I couldn't agree more.
I find that surprising.
Really? Sexism in business?
What did you do for work, Ben,
before you retired?
I was a VP for Dex One.
I was in charge of printing,
and before that I ran
sales and advertising.
Big jobs.
Wasn't this a factory that
used to make phonebooks?
-No! What?
This is where you worked?
For almost 40 years.
For twenty-some years
I sat right by that window.
That was my office.
It was a few steps up
And we could look out
over the whole factory.
Our printing presses
were in that corner.
That's why the floor
dips back there.
No way.
I know everything about
this building. Or used to.
You know the sycamores on the
other side of the building?
-The big ones?
Yeah. The big ones.
I love them.
Yeah. I remember
the day they were planted.
Is it totally weird
being back here?
Well, it feels
like home. lt's
but home.
So you're on Facebook, huh?
Well, I've been
trying to figure it out.
I joined about 10 minutes ago.
Well, better late than never.
Do you want some help?
I'd love some,
but, really, you've got
better things to do.
No. I need a diversion.
You have a photo of yourself?
No. I need one?
Uh, if you wanna look up
all those hotties from
high school, you do.
Say cheese.
That is cute.
Okay, I just need
to send that to you.
All right, so there are
all these questions
for your profile that you can
answer if you want to or not.
Like religious views,
political views,
people who inspire you.
Jules Ostin
I'm not trying to
brown-nose you,
but I've been in business
a long time
and I've never run across
anyone quite like you.
You do inspire, Jules.
I just knew,
at the end of the day,
that a woman
with a glass of wine
and a laptop
had real shopping potential.
And if you could actually
promise her
things would fit...
-See? That's what I mean.
-You have a favorite quote?
-I do.
"You're never wrong
to do the right thing."
-Who said that, you?
But I'm pretty sure
Mark Twain said it first.
Okay, favorite music?
Uh, jeez. Sam Cooke,
one of my all-time favorites.
Love Miles Davis,
-Billie Holiday.
Oh, she was great, right?
I mean,
she could just, like...
-Transport you.
-Oh, yeah.
Okay, books?
Love Clancy. Ludlum.
Crazy about Harry Potter
-Matt loves Harry Potten too.
-Oh, yeah?
Yeah, he, like, read them
all the week they came out.
Ah, well, me, too.
Um, okay, what's your
relationship status?
Are you married?
I'm sorry.
I think we should
just say single, then?
Okay, do you know
what you need now?
You need someone to friend.
I'll be friends with
the other interns.
They'll show me how
to do it in the morning.
Well, you can friend me.
-Okay, thank you.
you are now officially
part of the
Facebook generation.
-Good deal.
-Um, you done?
-Yes, thank you.
Well, I have, uh...
I have another hour of work.
Are you...
Are you okay with that?
Of course.
This was great, Jules.
It was nice to have
an adult conversation
with an adult man,
you know what I mean?
Like, not about work.
Not about...
I know what you mean.
-Oh, we're here?
Was I snoring?
No, no, no. Just sleeping.
My parents are
sleep researchers,
and they've been studying
my sleep my whole life.
Apparently, I'm
a classic noisy sleeper.
Fun getting to know me, huh?
-It is.
I never fall asleep
in the car,
so that was actually amazing.
Apologize for the racket.
Barely noticed.
I'll pretend I believe you.
I love this house.
It just looks happy to me.
Like, if it was
in a kids' book,
it would make you feel good
when you turned the page
and saw it.
You know what I mean?
I do.
I didn't hear you come in.
You know, I was thinking
we need some
awake time together.
Yeah, that, too.
Good morning. I'm Doris.
They asked me
to drive you today.
Are you all set back there?
You got your
seat belt fastened?
What happened to Ben?
Oh, somebody said
that he got transferred.
Um, you know the best way
to get back to headquarters?
-Oh, my!
-Oh, what...
-Come on!
Hold your horses, maniac!
Which way, hon?
I'm all turned around here.
-Doris. Doris! Doris!
-What? What?
You told me to transfer him.
That was two days ago.
Why didn't you check with me?
First of all,
that was yesterday.
Where is he? Do you know?
Thank you.
You must think I'm demented.
Not the word I would use,
but I was a little surprised
when I got the call.
Jules, I apologize
if I overstepped in some way.
No. No, no, no, no.
Please don't apologize.
You have done nothing wrong.
Look, I have a lot going on,
and I'm a very private person.
And at first,
I don't know, I thought
maybe this wasn't gonna work,
but I was wrong.
-Let me get one of those.
Jules, no explanation
necessary. Please.
No, actually, one is, because
I am usually better than this.
The truth is...
Something about you
makes me feel calm
or more centered or something.
And I could use that.
I hope you'll accept
my apology
and come back to work for me.
If you want...
And I'm not just saying this
because I screwed up
this morning.
But I was thinking that
I'd like to bring you up
to my area, next to Becky.
I know you can
handle more work.
If you'd like more. I...
Oh, God, I can't tell you
how much I hate
that Ijumped the gun
and I made you feel...
I'm coming back.
I'm happy to come back.
Can I give you a lift
back to the office?
Sure, thanks. Can I take this?
No. Thanks.
Actually, do you mind driving?
I don't technically
have a license.
This is... This is crazy, Ben.
Two desks are
not gonna fit in here.
No, I promise,
I'll stay out of your way.
But it's impossible because
now I don't have room for...
This is good, right?
-I like this arrangement.
Uh, Becky, I want you to let
Ben give you a hand, okay?
And cc him on all my e-mails.
Did we get
yesterday's numbers?
Uh, yes, we did.
I saw them here.
-Here you go.
- Thanks.
And I need to go over the data
on customer purchase patterns.
Let Ben take
a look at that, too.
Actually, let Ben
take a look at that first.
Don't worry, Becky.
Backup's good.
Ping me when Cameron gets in.
I've been here
nine months, Ben,
and she's never asked me
to take a look at anything
for her ever, okay?
That's frustrating.
I mean, totally.
I graduated from Penn.
I have a business degree.
But I never seem to do
anything right around here.
And you're, like,
50 years older than me
and you're deaf.
I happen to think
you do a lot of things right.
You do so much.
I know. I know that.
-But she doesn't. I mean,
I bust my ass for her
14 hours a day,
and she never notices.
Om oh, my God.
I hate girls who cry at work.
How about if you,
just as an experiment,
try letting me help you.
A lot of your stress
is gonna be lifted
once you're out from
under this mountain of worry.
And maybe you should
consider leaving here
at a normal hour
once in a while.
See your friends.
Have a little fun.
IVlmm-hmm. I can offer
my assistance in this area.
I would love to, actually.
I just don't want her to think
that I can't do my job
and I need an intern
to help me.
Okay, you're not
gonna wanna hear this,
but I heard women who sleep
less than seven hours a night
gain 38% more weight
than women who sleep more
than seven hours a night.
What? I leave here at 11:00.
I get back at 7:00.
I sleep, like,
five hours a night,
and now I'm gonna get fat?
Let's get through this stuff.
Let's do it together.
Let's clean-slate it.
Let's just do it.
All right.
Very nice, St. Louis.
-Ah, suede jacket in D. C.
- Oh, my God.
I cannot believe how well
that sweater is doing.
-I'm so happy.
Beautiful, IVliami! Thank you.
--Oh, look at Chicago!
She put the same boots
in her cart
as the woman from Houston.
Okay, let's see what
she does at checkout.
--She's not buying them either.
Okay, maybe check
the delivery cost
-on those boots?
- Knock-knock.
Hi. I took a look at
the data purchase patterns.
Uh, should I come back?
No, no, come on in.
That was fast.
Well, I enlisted Becky's help.
It seems the most expensive
place you're advertising
is actually bringing you
the customers
who are spending the least.
And the channels
you're least investing in
are adding enormous value
in segments
that currently appear
to have low value,
but actually have the
highest spending potential.
That's what I could
tell so far.
Oh, Ben!
Can you, like,
deal with that for me?
Maybe come up
with a better plan?
I mean, if you have the time?
Happy to.
The man spent
40 years in business.
Yeah, no, I get it.
And, Jules, Becky
was a huge help in this.
You know, she has
a business degree from Penn?
I know.
I mean, I forgot, but I know.
I'll say something to her.
That would be very nice.
Hey. How's it goin'
up here in first class?
Busy. I see you
found an apartment.
No. My two weeks are up.
I'm movin' in with my cousin.
-In Philadelphia.
-What? I'll get there
by 11:00, leave at 5:00.
It's cool. I can handle it.
You know, I feel like
everybody's uncle around here.
Yeah, why is that?
Because I'm gonna
save your ass,
and I'm gonna put you up
for a few weeks. Obviously.
Ben, thank you.
Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Okay. Okay. Easy, fella.
I like that you do
the throw pillow thing.
I was married for
a very long time.
Whoa! Is this your closet?
Busy man about town.
What's in all these drawers?
Boxers, T-shirts,
pocket squares, handkerchiefs
Okay, what's the deal
with the handkerchief?
That one I just
don't get at all.
Okay. It's essential.
That your generation
doesn't know that is criminal.
The best reason to carry
a handkerchief is to lend it.
-Ask Jason about this.
Women cry, Davis.
We carry it for them.
One of the last vestiges
of the chivalrous gent.
Ah. Well, then
it's different than a po...
I know you wanna hang.
But I have to get some
sleep, kid. I'm pooped.
Good night, Ben.
Thanks again.
Will you wake me
in the morning,
or is that too much to ask?
-My parents always...
-Too much.
Understood. I'll just set
an alarm on my phone.
I hope I can hear it.
I'm such a deep sleeper.
Oh, my God. I'll wake you.
Thank you! Love you.
Not kidding.
I love you, too.
Now go to bed.
Here's some
more berries, guys.
Ben, can you pour me
more syrup, please?
Sure can.
There you go.
Perfect. Good job.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, boy. Okay, so this really
big CEO named Townsend,
the one everyone said would
never be interested in us
because we weren't
big enough for him?
We're like your sister wives.
Well, we just found out
ne's beyond interested.
Yeah. Maybe.
flipping out about it,
but you know I'm still
on the fence at best.
Anyway, the only thing is,
I have to go to San Francisco
to meet him.
-He can't come here.
-When do you have to go?
The only day he can meet
is next Thursday.
Do you wanna come?
Maybe we can stay the weekend?
Oh, that sounds awesome.
Um... Oh.
Thursday I can't.
Paige is snack leader
and I'm supposed to be
in the class with her.
-it's kind of a big deal.
Yeah, it's a really big deal.
No, I know, sweetie.
I'm sorry. I forgot.
Uh, maybe Ben
could go with you.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Guys, Ben has a life.
Uh, not really. Not one that
takes me to San Francisco.
If you want the company,
I'd love to go.
-Guess what, Ben?
Today, my dad's
gonna be Ariel.
It's his turn.
-Oh, that's good, right?
- Really good.
You guys think
finding a CEO is a big deal?
Here, the big negotiation is
who gets to be Ariel
when we're playing
Little Mermaid.
And for the record,
it's never been my turn.
So this is huge for me.
I'm excited.
--I get to comb
my hair with a fork,
play with gadgets
and gizmos aplenty.
This is Jules.
So, guys, how long
till we get it fixed?
I mean, if you can't zoom in,
you probably won't buy.
Yeah, the first couple hours
are already down 23%.
-Oh, boy.
- Okay.
Uh, I will be there in,
-Two minutes.
-...two minutes.
We 're on it.
Ben, do you have the info on
Friends Shopping Together?
-Thank you.
-This is Jules.
- What's wrong?
Oh, Mom, hi. Um, I just
found out that the zoom link,
the button that you click on
to zoom in on a photo,
isn't working.
Well, that doesn't sound
like such a big deal.
Well, actually, it is.
It's what people use to
get a closer look at what...
Everybody zooms in.
I guess I don't go
to your website enough
-to know that.
--Mmm. Typing and ringing.
Yeah, sorry.
Oh, it's the warehouse.
Mom, I'm sorry.
Can I call you back?
No need.
-Okay, I love you.
Who says "yep"
to "I love you"?
-Hi, Alonzo.
-Hi, Jules.
-Not good news.
Okay. Lay it on me.
In a routine check
by the sanitation department,
they found one bedbug.
Unfortunately, yes.
We sent out
4,800 boxes yesterday.
We have to get them all back,
shut down the warehouse...
--...spra y for bedbugs,
then we can start
shipping again.
Okay, here we are.
Okay, let me
just finish this e-mail.
No. No, no, no...
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming.
I know the zoom is broken,
and I don't mean to
pull anyone off of that,
but I need a favor.
I accidentally sent an e-mail
to the wrong person,
and she's at work right now.
And I know she doesn't
check her personal e-mail
until she gets home at 5:30.
So I have until then to
figure out how to delete it.
Because if this person
sees this e-mail,
it'll be horrible.
And on top of that, she has
a minor heart condition.
I think this could possibly
be not good for that.
So I am counting on your
good graces and brilliance
to figure out a way
to save my ass.
Truthfully, Jules,
it's pretty impossible
to hack into a server.
And you don't
know her password?
Jules, I think tnere's
only one thing we can do.
Tell me. I'm dying.
IVle and the boys take off,
we break into
your mom's house,
and we steal her computer.
Break into her house
and steal the computer?
Are you kidding me?
That's freakin' genius.
will reach your destination
in 300 yards.
Little does GPS lady know
she is an accomplice
to a crime.
The woman has
a heart condition.
Think of it as a good deed.
I never
thought you'd be
a bad influence
on me, Whittaker.
Oh, relax, fellas. This is
gonna be a piece of cake.
The key is under a flowerpot.
We go in, we delete,
we disappear.
She doesn't have
an alarm, right?
Nope. She does not.
What if there's, like,
a password on the e-mail?
Then we take the computer.
Jules said she'd buy her
a new one, so it's a win-win.
You will reach your
destination in 100 yards.
This is like an Ocean's movie.
Ben's the old guy
with the big glasses.
His name is Elliott Gould.
Yeah, and, Jason,
you're Clooney.
Thank you.
I'll be Matt Damon 'cause
I'm kind of an outsider.
Yeah, definitely. Who am I?
You are Ben Affleck's brother.
Well, why aren't I Brad Pitt?
I think that's kind of
-Okay, Clooney.
-Thank you.
You're behind the wheel.
Park on the street.
Keep the engine running,
your eyes open.
Damon, Affleck's Brother,
you're with me.
All right, let's do this.
the key's under the flowerpot.
Oh, no.
Oh, great plan so far.
Oh, my God.
Lewis, get Becky.
Well, if we don't
know the code,
this is gonna turn into
an alarm in 60 seconds.
Becky, put Jules on.
She put me on hold.
What is wrong with that girl?
This is so not good. What
are we supposed to do, Ben?
What are we supposed...
-Stop eating!
Go look for the computer.
Right now. Go! Go! Go! No!
Separately! Separate...
- Ben. Ben, you there?
Don't screw around. Put
Jules on. It's an emergency.
-She's in a meeting.
-Interrupt her.
Ben, what's up?
Your mother has an alarm.
No, she doesn't
Yes, she does.
I'm in her kitchen.
It's about to go off.
-What's her code?
-I have no idea.
Ben, listen to me.
I know this woman.
That is a fake alarm
that she bought off
of some infomercial
or something, okay?
It's not real.
It's not connected. It's just
to scare off burglars.
She says it's fake.
It's just to scare off burglars.
Oh, well, it's doing
a good job.
Listen, my parents would
never pay for an alarm, okay?
They're the
cheapest people in America.
Okay, well, it hasn't
turned into an alarm yet.
It's still beeping.
That's 'cause it's a fake.
Trust me on this one.
Have you found the computer?
It's not down here.
Lewis, go in there.
Davis, in there.
-Found it!
-Got it!
We found two.
Which one is hers?
The white one
or the silver one?
White one or the silver one?
-Your mom's computer?
It's white. I got it fixed for
her once. I am positive.
-The white one!
Oh, my God!
I knew there was
no such thing as a fake alarm!
We're gonna get
arrested! I knew it!
That's it! We're done!
Our fingerprints are
all over this place!
Ben, do you see the e-mail?
Not yet.
-Double-time it, dude.
-Here, let me.
"Why is my mother
always such a raging bitch?"
Subject, "She's a terrorist."
Yes! Delete it!
Now from the trash!
-Got it.
-Davis, where'd you find this?
-Under the bed. Right side.
-Which right side?
-Right side facing the bed!
Oh, my God! My life is over!
I'm gonna be a felon and
I have not committed a crime!
Davis, pull it together.
Can't you hear
how far away that is?
We've got at least 30 seconds
until they're here.
How am I gonna
explain this to my parents?
Oh, my God. My lisp is back!
-20 seconds.
Just run! Run!
Tell me
what you wanna do
Come here, ma
Talk to me, so talk to me
Look like
you're real good to me
Talkin' real,
tryin' to walk for me
Put it on, dawg
Dance like you never
did before for me
Wanna break your back
Gonna break your neck
What's he do...
When I lock it down,
I hit you with that
Open the door!
Every time I come through
This motherfreaker
is always in the ride
Jason! Open the door!
Open the fucking door!
Whoa, okay! Okay!
Hold on! I'm not in!
I'm not in! I'm not in!
I'm in.
You are a crazy
son of a bitch.
You know that, right?
I didn't, actually.
I'm sure my blood pressure
was through the roof.
But it was worth it.
Good times!
Guys, I can't.
I literally can't thank you
enough for what you just did.
It was...
So above and beyond
and brave and loyal,
I am indebted to you forever.
-No, you're not.
-Well, you're very welcome.
You know.
Takes a team, but it's done.
All taken care of.
I'm gonna have another.
Anybody else?
-I would love that.
-Yeah, let's do that.
But could I just get
a half this time?
I'll take his half.
We'll all have doubles.
No, no, no,
it's okay. I can drink.
It's a thing about me.
Now, what are
your names, again?
I never wanna not know you.
I'm Jason. I've worked
for you for, like, a year.
I've delivered things
to your home.
I met Matt a bunch of times.
I've tied your daughter's
shoe before.
I know who you are.
I'm just terrible with names.
It's all right. it's Jason.
You're new, right?
Yeah. I'm Davis. I started
work the same day as Ben.
We're pretty much besties,
and I'm his mentee.
He gave me this tie,
for example.
It was his. it's vintage.
I like it. I like men in ties.
-And you're Lewis.
Yeah, I could hear
a little bit over the phone.
You were very cool
under pressure.
Well, it was my first heist.
I tried to be chill.
Thanks for noticing.
Mmm. VVhoo!
Boys, what can I say...
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to call you "boys"
Nobody calls men
"men" anymore.
Have you noticed?
Women went from
"girls" to "women"
IVlen went from "men" to "boys"?
This is a problem
in the big picture.
-Do you know what I mean?
I'm gonna have another.
Another? You sure about that?
Okay. Here's
my theory about this.
We all grew up during
the "Take Your Daughter
to Work Day" thing, right?
So we were always told
we could be anything,
do anything.
And I think guys got,
maybe not left behind,
but not quite as nurtured,
you know?
I mean, like,
we were the generation of,
"You go, girl."
We had Oprah.
And I wonder sometimes
how guys fit in, you know?
They still seem to be
trying to figure it out.
They're still dressing
like little boys.
They're still
playing video games.
Well, they've
gotten great. So...
-There you go.
-Love video games.
-Oh, boy.
How, in one generation,
have men gone from guys like
Jack Nicholson
and Harrison Ford to...
Take Ben, here.
A dying breed. You know?
Look and learn, boys,
because if you ask me,
this is what cool is.
Thanks, Ace. You're not
gonna drink anymore, right?
Callin' me "Ace"?
That's just super cool, right?
- Definitely.
- Very cool.
Okay, I am officially
a little dizzy.
I apologize for the tirade.
I am gonna go.
But I am forever
in your debt, gentlemen.
Another word which is
never used anymore.
Let's bring it back, shall we?
Ben, I'll be Ubering home.
-Thanks again.
- Whoa!
I'm so sorry.
-Don't worry.
I'm fine now.
-Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
Oh, I haven't done that
since college.
Thank you.
Oh, man.
Very sorry
you had to see that.
-it's all good.
Feeling better?
Yeah, I forgot you gotta
eat before you drink.
I'm good now.
Thank you.
I'll be leaving in a minute.
Just working on making this
the worst possible day
for you.
No, not at all.
You've had a stressful day.
How is it
that you always manage
to say the right thing,
do the right thing,
be the right thing?
It's uncanny.
- You get some rest.
- I will-
Thanks for everything.
And, uh...
Really so nice of you
to do this.
Most women would have
just rescheduled.
Oh, not to worry.
I understand.
-It was unexpected.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
You're welcome.
-Oh. Come on in.
-I'll go in after you.
-All right.
Benji, you brought
a date to a funeral.
We had plans. Who knew
this was gonna happen?
Well, how do you do?
I'm IVliles.
Hello. Fiona. I'm so
sorry for your loss.
Oh, thank you, dear.
Wowza !
I never went to
a Shiva before.
The laughter was wonderful.
I don't think
I've ever eaten more.
I'm not even sure how
I left with a box of cookies.
Well, you were a big hit.
Giving the widow that
back massage, winning move.
Oh, yeah. She needed it.
I definitely think
it's a good idea
to take all first dates
to a funeral. Yeah.
A real icebreaker,
don't ya think?
I know you're kidding,
but, honestly, who needs
the strain of the dinner date?
And the "Why aren't you
married?" conversation.
At our age, it's not even
possible to catch up.
Well, I can do me
in 10 seconds.
-You ready?
Widower, one son,
two grandkids.
Spent my life
manufacturing phone books,
which no longer
serve a purpose.
I'm currently working as
an intern, having a ball.
And the best news is,
I have a crush on
a girl I met at work.
I'm sorry you lost your wife.
Three beautiful daughters.
One grandchild,
a boy, on the way.
I was sick a few years back.
I'm not anymore.
I'm an in-house
e-commerce masseuse.
Love my job.
And I finally meta man
I actually wanna
hang out with.
-Lucky me.
Hey, buddy,
you don't look so great.
Yeah, I know.
But believe me,
I look better than I feel.
--Did you see
-the Yankees last night?
-They were on fire.
Oh, man.
Gotta get
somethin' in your stomach.
Honey, honey, honey.
Can you please take
one bite before school?
-Please? Just one bite?
Whats with the waterworks,
little one?
must tom her
that the sitter's
gonna have to take her
to IVIaddie's birthday party
because Matt's feeling sick.
But I don't wanna
go with the sitter.
Can you take me?
Oh, honey?
I'm so sorry, but Ben's
gotta go to work today.
Jules. Come on. It will take
an hour. Let me take her.
I can't believe
we 're still going through this.
I'm going the right way.
Please have a little trust.
But the park
where the party is...
Oh, sorry, Ben.
Actually, this is it.
--You're like a clone.
Oh, boy. This looks
like a nice party.
Yeah, it does.
So which one is Maddie?
The one in the pink.
Okay. The one in the pink.
You can go sit with
the other moms, okay?
Okay. You wanna give
Maddie her present?
Have fun.
The other moms.
Freprino or something.
Yeah, I know. I don't
know any of them.
-Hi. I'm Ben.
-Hi. Jane.
Hi, Emily. I'm helping
Matt and Jules out today.
-Oh, are you Matt's dad?
I work for Jules.
That's okay?
I've just heard she's,
you know, kinda tough.
Tough? Jules? Sure.
She's a total badass.
I guess that's now she became
an Internet sensation.
Must make you guys proud, huh?
One of your own
out there every day,
crashing the glass ceiling
of the tech world.
So, bravo,
good for her. Right?
Yeah. No, for sure.
What's up, kiddo?
I don't feel good.
You don't? Do you
wanna sit on my lap?
You know, if she's sick, she
probably shouldn't be here.
Tough crowd, Paigey
You wanna hit the road?
Does that mean "leave"?
Afraid so.
I spy with my little
eye something... Blue!
- Is it the car next to us?
- No.
Is it that dog leash?
Uh, is it the sky?
Yes! You got one.
-Your turn, Ben.
Oh, I have a good one.
I spy with my little eye
something green.
Is it that tree?
Is it that front door?
Well, it's kinda green.
Is it, Ben?
Is it that front door?
Yeah, it is, honey. Good girl.
Thanks so much, Ben.
Hey, come on in the kitchen.
Can I get you something
before you hit the road?
Want a cup of coffee
or a bite to eat?
No, I'm good, thanks.
Okay. How was she?
She give you any trouble?
She was perfect.
She wasn't feeling
so great at the party,
so we left early,
and she just fell asleep
in the car,
so I let her get a nap in.
So nice of you. Thank you.
Well, you seem like
you're feeling more with it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Um, I guess I just
needed a little downtime.
You know, or maybe I wasn't
even that sick, I don't know.
Hey, Ben, I got somethin'
I wanted to ask.
What's your whole take
on the CEO thing?
I mean, you're more
on the inside than I am.
I know Jules is tryin' to
do right by everybody,
the investors, the company.
She's got a lot
on her shoulders.
The pressure is unbelievable.
Am I wrong that
I want it to happen?
I mean, I want what she wants,
but you know what
it's like around here.
We don't see her enough,
and maybe this can fix that.
The CEO's gonna fix
what's going on here, Matt?
Whatever she decides,
I just...
I want it to be good for her.
I want her to be happy.
Of course.
She deserves that.
Yeah, she does deserve it.
-Hi, Amy.
-Hey, Ben.
Benjamin, what do you think?
I found it on eBay.
You were right. Total classic.
It's awesome, kid.
And many more.
-So how did it go?
Well, you have
a great kid, Jules.
-She's adorable.
Thank you so much
for doing that.
So you excited about our trip
to San Francisco tomorrow?
-Are you okay?
Oh, I hope you don't
have what Matt has.
I don't.
-You sure?
What's that?
Blood pressure.
I take it every day.
-Are you sure you're okay?
You don't look like you.
You're all flushed.
Why don't you go see
Fiona, the masseuse,
and just chill a little.
What's up?
Whoa, Ben, you okay?
You seem to be
slightly malfunctioning.
Does he look right to you?
Okay. Thank you.
I think we're good here.
Got a lot of work to do.
it's all good.
Is it his coloring?
Oh, my God, you're all nuts.
I'm 100%
Let's move on, kids.
Big day. Lots to do.
Ben, if I am giving you
too much to do
or working you too hard,
please do not feel that
you have to go with me
to San Francisco.
Jules, people my age
get tired sometimes.
That's all this is.
You're tired?
That's why you haven't
looked at me once
since I came over here?
I'm looking at you.
-Cameron's on the phone.
Like, if you don't feel
better tonight or late...
I'm just saying I can
go by myself. Okay?
I'm a big girl. I'll be fine.
Okay, seriously,
Ben, what is it?
You know, I'm a sensitive man.
People don't think
that about me.
I don't look it, but I am.
Under all this man stuff
that you so admire...
...I'm just a big
bowl of mush.
I know that.
That's it?
That's what 24 hours
of crazy comes to?
That you're a sensitive
bowl of mush?
Jules, what are we doing here?
We got the day off.
We're traveling
in first-class.
Let's at least
have a little fun.
Now that I can do.
I can't believe
I'm saying that,
but that's what happened
the last time.
But he didn't see it coming.
Full on!
Look, I couldn't believe it.
Dad, aim for the shower.
If you get stuck, just...
Catch them. And with that,
the wedding planner
turns to me and goes,
"Hey, do you have the rings?"
Ladies and gentlemen,
as we start our descent,
please make sure your
seat backs and tray tables
are in their full,
upright positions,
and all carry-on luggage
is stowed under
the seat in front of you.
You okay?
Just thinking,
tomorrow I meet the guy
who may become my boss kinda.
I mean, a lot of people
have bosses, right?
Most people have bosses.
Jules, it's simple.
If you think Townsend is
gonna be good for you
and good for the company,
then do it. And if not...
Exactly. Just because
I came all the way here...
Right. Doesn't mean anything.
I agree.
Do you think
I can take a Xanax
if I had two glasses of wine
an hour ago?
Well, I'd wait
another couple hours.
It's a thing I do before
I land. We're good now.
- Jules, you hear that?
Uh-huh. I hear it. I'm up.
-Are you okay?
-This alarm going off
is not a good omen
about this guy.
It's a sign, Ben.
Oh, I'm pretty sure it's not.
So you haven't
taken a Xanax, yet?
You told me to
wait a few hours.
You travel with your own robe?
Ladies and gentlemen,
a smoke alarm went off
in one of the rooms,
but the problem has
been taken care of.
Our sincerest apologies.
Oh, yeah.
100 people, two elevators.
Definitely a sign.
Well, thanks for
escorting me back.
You wanna see my room?
Oh, nice.
I mean, do you actually
wanna come in?
I have a tea kettle.
We could have tea or...
I'm ridiculously nervous
about tomorrow.
You can lie down.
I know you're tired.
I'll sit in the chair.
Here you go.
I thought you were
gonna sit in a chair?
Please let me be here.
I need to lie down, too.
We don't have to talk
about work or anything.
All right. What should
we talk about?
Will you tell me
about your wife?
She was great, right?
She was.
Molly was her name.
She was
a middle school principal.
So perfect. Long marriage?
Not long enough.
42 years.
Wow. What was that like?
You know when people say
they wanna grow old together?
-Well, we did that.
We met when we were 20.
Well, I was 20. She was 19.
And what was amazing is,
she never really changed.
That's a hard thing
to pull off.
She handled life
like it was easy.
Even when it wasn't.
God, I envy that.
Are you hungry?
We have gummy bears,
chocolate chips, Pringles
Yup. I'm just gonna
bring the whole thing.
You know those are,
like, 15 bucks each?
Benjamin, I run
a very big Internet company.
Let's go crazy.
Yeah, SO...
I got a weird one for you.
Matt is cheating on me.
Wait a minute.
You know about this?
What does that mean?
Wait, you know about this?
I saw them together.
Oh, my God, when?
I'm sorry.
I mean, it was an accident
that I saw them, but I did.
Then it is still going on.
How long have you known?
For, like, 18 days.
She's a mom at Paige's school.
It's still so hard
for me to grasp.
I was in the kitchen
making sandwiches,
and his phone was there.
He was upstairs with Paige,
and he was getting
all these text messages.
And I don't know why,
but I read them.
It was not good.
Does he know you know?
'Cause, honestly,
I'm not ready to deal with it.
I would like to be
a little less devastated,
if that is possible.
It's classic, though,
isn't it?
The successful wife.
The husband feels like
his manhood is threatened,
so he acts out.
Girlfriend, I guess,
makes him feel
more like a man.
Sometimes I'm not sure
I know how to do that.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're not actually
taking the rap
for any of this, are you?
No! No, no.
He is the one doing
something wrong.
I get that.
Nlonogam-ish is
not what I'm after.
I'm just... I'm taking a sec,
and I'm hoping that it's just
a horrible lapse in judgment
and not, like, love.
And once he moves
through this,
we will eventually
be able to be okay again.
What do you think about that?
Clearly you don't think
that's a possible thing.
-It would be unusual.
-I get that.
I get not everybody
could do that,
but everybody's not us.
I have faith in us
because I believe
he still loves me.
And, you know, we've been
going through so much that...
God, I wish your expressions
weren't so transparent.
Some couples do
survive these things,
you know. I Googled it,
"Staying together
after the affair"
And a lot of couples,
I mean, a lot stay together.
And anyway, there is
something to be said
about moving through it
and focusing on us
and not on the affair.
I don't wanna give up on him.
I know him,
and I know he knows better.
But I am only human,
and I am so mad at him.
You know, so much has
happened to us so fast.
I think part of me
was even expecting this.
Like, you know, he was
the more successful one
when we started out.
No, I didn't know that.
Yeah, he was.
He was a rising star.
And he bowed out
so that I could do this.
He was amazing.
It was all his idea.
I'm sure that's why
I'm even considering
this whole CEO thing,
thinking maybe
someone else coming in
will help me get
my life back on track.
Okay, that's it. I hate
to be the feminist here,
between the two of us,
but you should be able
to have a huge career
and be who you are
without having to accept that
your husband is having an
affair as some kinda payback.
-Right on.
-I mean it.
IVle, too.
But such is life, my friend.
No, it isn't. Not always.
And I'm not so sure
I'd be so forgiving.
I am not so forgiving.
I'm saying that I could
potentially be forgiving.
But don't think that I don't
feel what's going on here.
It's crushing.
And when I think of Paige...
Oh, don't. Oh...
Also, if we got divorced,
he'd remarry
Maybe not to this girl,
but someone.
And we both know I'm not easy.
So I could be,
like, single forever,
which means that...
Forgive me, but this
does keep me up
in the middle of the night.
That I don't wanna be
buried alone.
Paige'll be with her husband,
and Matt'll be
with his new family,
and I will be buried
with strangers.
I will buried in the
strangers singles section
of the cemetery.
Not that, that is a reason
to stay together.
But it's just,
you know, a scary sidebar.
Let's take that one
off your plate right now.
You can be buried
with me and Molly.
I happen to have space, okay?
Thank you so much. That is...
And to think I didn't
even wanna hire you.
The one time
I don't have my hanky.
You wanna
watch TV?
Just for a few minutes?
Yeah, sure, I would.
Even though
the planned merger has...
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Nature patterned you,
and when she was done
You were all the sweet things
Rolled up in one
You're like a plaintive melody
That never lets me free
For I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you just for me
Airport, please.
So did we like him?
He said all the right things.
He said that no one knows
About The Fit like me.
That he doesn't wanna remove
the soul of the company.
He said that
he doesn't have a plan.
He wants to watch us
and see what works.
He was polite and respectful
and super smart.
And I hired him.
You did it right in the room?
He told me to sleep on it
and that we'd talk tomorrow,
but I said the job was his.
We shook hands on it.
You know, if we disagree,
he's the tiebreaker?
Of course. He's the CEO.
Yeah. Duh.
You smell minty.
I just made mint tea.
Yes? No?
I did it.
I liked him. A IOL And, uh,
I offered him the job.
Wow. Really?
And you're okay with it?
I think it'll be good for us.
Do we have any,
like, real booze,
like vodka or something?
Did "good for us" mean
About The Fit or us?
You and me, us.
I figure
if someone else can call
some of the shots at work,
then maybe
we can get back to where
we were 18 months ago.
They say you can't put
a genie back in the bottle,
but we can try, right?
Hi. Wait, you live here?
Yeah, Ben's been putting me up
until I can find a place.
Oh, should I let him know
that you're here?
That's okay. I'll ring.
Jules! Come on in.
I'm just on my way to work.
Ben's right in here.
I'll let you two talk.
-See ya.
You and Fiona, huh? Who knew.
She's a great gal.
She surprised me last night.
She brought over dinner.
It's brand-new.
Congratulations. I love her.
So I was ready
kinda early this morning,
since about 4:00.
And Matt and Paige left
an hour ago for afield trip,
so I thought I'd come by.
I hope that's okay.
I just wanted to say
I slept on it.
I haven't called
Townsend yet, but
I still feel like
it's the right thing to do.
I didn't sleep so well myself.
Over this?
You remember the day
I drove you to the warehouse?
You were giving me the
wrong directions and all that?
Yeah. I remember.
Okay, well,
I stood in the back,
and I watched you
show the workers
how to fold and box
the clothes.
I knew then that was
why ATF was a success.
No one else is ever gonna have
that kind of commitment
to your company, Jules.
To me, it's pretty simple.
About The Fit needs you,
and if you don't
mind me saying,
you need it.
Someone may come in with
more experience than you,
but they're never gonna know
what you know.
I never had anything
like this in my life.
Not many people do.
This big, beautiful,
exciting thing
that you created.
It's a dream, isn't it?
And you're gonna give that up
in the hopes that your husband
will stop having an affair?
I don't see how that adds up.
You should feel
nothing but great
about what you've done.
And I'd hate to see you
take that away from you.
I guess you came over here
because you wanted
to hear some of this.
And maybe also
because you're my...
Well, I was gonna say
intern/best friend.
But there's no need to get
all sentimental about it,
we could potentially
be buried together.
Can't get closer than that.
It's moments like this
when you need someone
you know you can count on.
So thank you.
I like your house
so much, by the way.
Shall we?
Welcome back, you two.
Jules, I have something cool
to show you.
Do you remember taking
a customer service call
about a bride whose
bridesmaids' dresses
showed up in gray,
and we had the vendor
remake them overnight
and put them on a plane?
Yeah. Yeah. Rachel.
-Check this out.
The silk chiffon
Antoinette dress.
They look beautiful.
Oh, and these just arrived
from Mark Townsend.
Becky? Give me
Townsend's number, will you?
This is Jules.
Hey, Alonzo, what's up?
Uh-huh. Okay.
Do we need that many?
I hope I'm not too late.
Don't do this for me, Jules.
Just do what
feels right for you.
Oh, my God.
I wanna continue
running my company, Matt.
You gotta know that.
Then do it. I don't
want you to be unhappy.
I'm already unhappy.
I need to tell you something.
I know.
Just tell me,
is it almost over?
I don't know
how much longer I can...
No, it's over.
I can't tell you how sorry
and ashamed I am.
I thought I could do it.
I thought I could be the guy
that I told you
I was going to be.
And then
somewhere along the way...
I thought I was losing you.
But it was actually me.
I got lost.
It's a confusing
world out there,
and who I am got messed up
for a minute.
And now I'm watching you
ready to give
all this up for me.
I will not let that happen.
I love you,
and I will do so much better
if you'll let me.
Please, Jules.
Let me make it right again.
You know what would be good?
If you carried a handkerchief.
Have you called Townsend yet?
Because if I've
ever met anyone
who doesn't need a boss
that was you.
I was just about to call him
and tell him
I changed my mind.
I mean, we're good here.
We're gonna make it.
I'm gonna make sure
we make it.
Becky, where's Ben?
I'm not sure. He said
he was taking the day off.
Do you know where Ben is?
-I'm so sorry to interrupt.
-That's okay. Here.
Extend your left arm, Jules.
-Left knee up.
Breathe and relax
for inner balance.
-Am I doing it right?
Got something good
to tell you.
Great. Tell me
when we're done.
Breathe deeply, Jules.
That's it, out there.
This up.