The Intervention (2016) Movie Script

Hi.
Okay.
Turn around.
Okay? Bye.
Turn around.
Okay.
Something to drink?
I... um...
Yeah,
can I have an orange juice?
Actually, um,
can you make that a scotch?
Rocks.
Double.
Oh, that's it.
You know, if you're gonna
have a plain black bag,
you should put something on it to
distinguish it from the other bags.
I don't know why you needed
a whole suitcase anyway.
We're only there three days.
Well, two days,
three nights.
Well, but I guess Monday is a travel
day, so technically three days.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I am the person
who overpacks her things
in an unmarked,
generic black suitcase, okay?
It's who I always have been.
It's who I always will be.
That is what
you're signing up for.
I know. I can't wait
to sign up for you.
Did you have
a drink on the plane?
Just one. I mean...
Oh, that's it.
Uh, Annie. Just letting her
know where we are.
You know,
that's a lovely blouse.
This? Thanks.
Your first time in Savannah? Yeah.
My family has
a house here from...
Yeah, it's a beautiful city.
I'd love to show you around.
Well, you know, we're actually
staying an hour out of town, so...
Oh, shame.
You know, if you'd rather
spend the weekend with Rick,
I would totally get that.
'Cause it seems that
you guys really connected.
Yeah, i don't know, I think
maybe he was just being friendly.
Lesbians!
Hey.
Hello.
This is where
the subarus are.
Hi.
You love that
Subaru joke, huh?
I love it.
It's my favorite.
Um, so Peter and Ruby get in
in a couple of hours.
Hmm-hmm. And, Matt, did you talk to Jack?
Yeah, he's driving.
Probably get in around
the same time as us.
How's he doing?
Well, you know.
Do we know if
he's bringing her?
Uh, he didn't say.
He can't really
bring her, right?
He shouldn't.
He shouldn't bring her.
It's not appropriate.
Fifty bucks says
he brings her.
You're on.
Jess, why have you
never brought me here?
None of us have been here in what, six years?
I would've come
here without you.
Jessie, this is your family's
little summer house?
It belongs to our
whole family.
What are you, like, a
secret Kennedy or something?
Seriously, I really think that
we should stay together.
I've been thinking about
it a lot since we got here
and I really feel like...
Babe. Babe.
I mean, what is this?
This place is perfect.
There are people who take care
of it and get it ready for us.
What, you mean like oompa-loompas? Yes.
No way.
I missed this place.
I don't understand why we're
not just getting married here.
Baby!
Oh! Oh, no!
No!
My friends!
- My friends!
- Hi.
A check is fine,
if that's all you have.
Okay, this is Lola.
Yes.
Annie, Matt, Jessie, Sarah.
This is Lola.
Hello. Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Why not?
Good to see you.
Hi.
How are you? Good to
see you. Good to see you.
You guys good?
Yeah. Yeah, we're good.
We just got here.
It's far hotter in that car than
anywhere else in the universe.
Hot.
Um, Jack,
can we talk to you, please?
We just got here.
Now, right now?
Jessie, can you...
Sure. Sorry.
I'm good without you.
Over there? Okay.
Yeah, there's a...
What's up?
Can you guys
just give me a break, please?
Well, excuse me, but this
is a very delicate situation
and I don't think having
some baby stranger around
is going to make Peter
and Ruby feel very safe.
We shouldn't even be doing
this in the first place.
Well, we are doing it.
We all agreed.
Nope. I'm gonna stop you
right there. I never agreed.
Okay. Well, the majority
agreed, and we are doing it.
This marriage intervention
is long overdue.
Oh, my god.
That sounds even more insane
when you say it out loud.
"Marriage intervention"?
Yeah, it doesn't
sound great.
So, Lola,
where do you live?
Um...
Nowhere.
I kind of just
travel around with Jack.
We met at south by southwest
at my boyfriend's show.
We just, like, saw each
other and were like...
Just,
like, hit it off really well.
That's cool.
So, Jessie's
your girlfriend.
Exactly. Yeah.
Right. Okay.
How long have you
guys been together?
Three years.
Oh. Three years. Nice.
Where do you guys live?
We live in
Los Angeles.
But, you know, not together.
We don't live together.
Oh, okay.
Why not?
Uh, she's very independent.
Right, right, right.
Hmm.
Do you want me to just tell
her right now to go home?
No.
Yeah.
That's extreme.
Okay, fine, no.
feel bad for
bringing her along.
Jack, I...
Did you guys ever
think for one second
what it would feel like
for me to come back here?
She's kind, she loves me,
and she makes me feel good.
And fuck, i really need
to feel good right now.
So please, be nice. Okay?
Tell them,
"no fucking way."
No, you're not
getting on the plane
until they make good
on the terms of the contract.
Have faith in yourself. You're a
genius. I'm gonna leave it at that.
All right. When I hear from
them, I'm gonna text or e-mail.
All right, good.
Sorry.
I love sitting on the side
of the road for 30 minutes,
'cause it just gives my ass
a chance to sleep.
Okay. I said
I'm sorry. Okay?
We're going into a dead zone,
and it's an important call.
Obviously, I couldn't risk
getting dropped.
Just because other people's
priorities are different than yours
doesn't mean
they're not important.
Okay, you know what?
Let's just drop this.
Gladly.
I think we should
do it tonight.
Tonight?
That way they
have the weekend to
process while
they're amongst friends.
Yeah, or it could mess up
the whole weekend.
Well, I'm pretty sure this
whole weekend's been fucked
before it began, right?
Why are you even here?
But since you insisted on
doing this, i wanted to be here.
Peter has been your best friend for 20 years
and Ruby is Jessie's sister
and my mentee.
She's your mentee?
She's always looked up to me.
I think we should do it tonight after dinner.
Okay, I haven't seen
him in a long time,
but there's no way
they could be that bad.
I've been looking forward
to this all week long.
Let's just pretend
to have a good time, okay?
Oh, you mean like
i do at home?
Well, if I'm
being brutally honest,
Okay, let's move past it.
We're done. Can we do that?
It's done. Okay?
Hi.
Hey!
Sorry, we would've
been here earlier,
Ruby, what happened to your leg?
Need any help with your bags?
Oh, it's broken,
but it's fine. Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
I can't believe
you broke your leg.
Did you start
coloring your hair?
No.
Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Good to see you.
I'm good, but, oh, my god...
I'm Lola.
- Nice to see you.
- The house is amazing.
Have you checked
on the kids yet?
We just got here,
Peter, so no.
All right, can we?
'Cause we haven't called
since we landed.
Ah, so, just so everyone knows,
there are delicious drinks
being served just out
in back on the porch, so...
Wanna come have a drink?
Uh, I think we should
settle in first before we...
Peter, is there anything else
you wanna micromanage?
I'm fine. I am... all right.
I'd just like to
have one drink.
Everybody's grumpy after
travel. It's not a big deal.
No. Jack, you need to take
off your blinders, okay?
Just look at the situation.
Yeah, we're gonna do this.
No, I'm not saying that i don't
think we should do it at all.
I'm just saying that
with the leg development,
that maybe this is
not the best weekend.
When else are we all
gonna be together?
I mean, we have to do it.
Look, you have to admit,
even after five minutes,
you can feel it.
The oppression,
just the weight,
the burden of
their marital prison.
I mean, it's terrifying.
Yeah, I know, but it's like...
You know the kind
of person who likes
having the mirror
held up to them
so they can better
see the ways in which
they need to improve?
Mmm-hmm.
Ruby is the opposite
of that person.
Mmm-hmm.
I don't know.
I feel very scared.
We can't think
about ourselves right now.
We have to save them.
You can't tell Jessie I'm
smoking. We quit together.
Like I give a shit.
Today is mine and Peter's anniversary, so...
Congratulations.
How many years?
A lot. A lot of years.
Should we do something
tonight to celebrate?
Um, well, no,
'cause that would mean
we would have to
acknowledge it,
and we haven't
acknowledged shit, so...
If we acknowledge
the anniversary,
we haven't had sex
in six months, and...
Right.
What's up with this?
Oh, yeah,
i do this again.
Don't give me that look.
It's fine.
It's totally under control. Okay.
Not...
Fine.
When did you
start smoking again?
I didn't.
And they really hit it off. She went
like this, "we really hit it off."
You know what I mean?
Not my type.
Yeah, but she's
Jessie's type.
Ah, come on, please.
What is she, like, 12?
Well, she's early-20s.
That's Jessie's type.
I want to...
I want to... kiss me.
Did you see it coming?
Is that connected back...
So, Pete, um,
do you still lease?
Huh?
Your car?
Yeah.
Cute. Oh, my... Go like this. What about 'em?
What?
It's like a little puppy.
You still have
that, um, BMW?
Let me do it to you.
I wanna put your entire nose
in my mouth.
I wanna suck everything
out of your nose.
Hey! Hello.
What?
You guys mind taking this
inside or into traffic?
Okay. I'm gonna go shower. No.
You hang out with your friends. No!
- Sorry, Lola, it's not you.
- Don't be sorry.
I just haven't seen this guy
in a long time.
I'll be back.
Give me that.
No.
I'll be back.
I'll miss you.
I'll miss you more.
That is just puppy love. What,
do you forget what it looks like?
She doesn't make you feel,
like, super-old?
Her?
Like, so old.
She doesn't...
No. Stop. First of all, "so old"? No.
We talk about...
Was Titanic out yet?
No. But I've explained it to
her, and she knows how it ends.
- Made a cheese plate.
- Ooh!
- That looks yummy.
- So...
So there's...
Where is it? There's Sadie.
Oh!
Oh, my gosh!
In her little dress.
Annie, look at this one.
Oh, cute.
Oh, my god.
Will you send that one to me?
How could you
ever have a bad day
when you get to
look at that face!
You gotta send me
that one.
What is that,
like, a little lion costume?
What're you guys
all looking at?
Looking at Pete
and Ruby's kids.
- Oh, can I see?
- Yeah, look.
He's a cute kid. I can't
believe how big they are.
So cute. Well, you see them so infrequently.
You know, when you're
around them all the time,
they don't really
change that much.
How old is that?
Yeah, she has...
Well, Leo is eight,
Sadie's six,
and Stanley's two and a half.
He's almost three.
In six months.
In like half a year.
October's in three months.
Sadie is in October. Stanley
is in January, so, six months.
He's gonna be three.
Oh.
How 'bout you guys? When
are you gonna have babies?
I don't know.
Well, we have... We have to
get through the wedding first.
Right.
So, first things first.
But that's on our list.
Yeah. Of course.
But you gotta...
You know, like,
you don't wanna
wait too long, right,
because they say, like,
after you pass 35,
it's harder to get pregnant.
I've heard that. Yeah.
Ruby. Ruby.
The eggs aren't...
Trust me, take your time.
No, I'm just...
They're a handful.
Thank you.
Hmm.
So, Annie is drinking again.
Well, she just has a glass or
two, um, you know, some nights.
Um...
But it's nothing
like before.
Um...
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Hey, uh, we haven't got your
"save the date" card yet.
We have to...
We gotta save that date.
Yeah. It's just...
We haven't exactly
decided on what
it's gonna look like.
Mmm-hmm.
So we... There's a little
bit more decision-making.
Yeah, but the wedding
is in three months,
so shouldn't you
get those in the mail?
I was gonna ask you,
what happened?
It was a softball game and I
was walking down the stairs,
and I had
Stanley and a bunch of,
you know,
snacks and water bottles,
and I just missed a step
and I end up cracking my knee
on the stairs and...
Oh, my god.
Yeah, so, six to eight
weeks on crutches.
Ruby, that's horrible.
Yeah. It's my idea
of a good time.
It's a long time.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
I'm talking about, we went to
Paris and Rome and it was amazing.
But after like a month,
i thought to myself,
"you know what country
i really wanna see?
We've lived in America our entire
lives, right, the entire time?
Have you once driven cross-country? No.
That's a crime.
It's fucking amazing!
You're getting so upset.
I said, "let's get a car,"
and she said, "okay."
So, we got that truck.
And the best part is,
i get to choose where we go.
We can literally say, "okay, now
we wanna go north," and just...
We'll just fuckin' go north.
Does it need to be...
You want some?
Here, have some.
Oh, yeah.
I'll show you how.
You gotta come home though,
at some point.
Nah, I can't be in L.A.
It looks like it's something... look. Yeah.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Am I right?
No!
...about
the serial killer.
Right.
I think that, like,
very few people set out
to intentionally do something
that they know is wrong.
You know, when you look at history... Great.
Oh, my... I'm not pro-Hitler.
Is that where this is going?
I'm just... I'm using
him to make a point.
I don't know if we need to... No, go on.
Go on, make your Hitler point.
Okay, uh...
Hitler was, um,
doing what he thought
was the right thing.
He truly believed it.
And he thought that
he was doing good.
So does that
mean that he is bad?
Yes.
Yes, it does.
Yeah, he's Hitler.
He's Hitler,
of course, yes, but what...
But what he did was bad,
but he didn't mean to be bad.
He was trying to...
He was probably the most
evil man in the world,
and you're trying to
form an argument...
Well, I'm sorry, i don't
understand being a Nazi sympathizer.
I'm not a Nazi sympathizer.
I am just trying to...
Stop!
Stop being so handsome
in schindler's list,
Ralph fiennes.
Because it makes knowing
who to root for too confusing.
You know, when you...
"Ralph" fiennes, she means.
Rafe?
"Rafe," yeah.
I know. I don't know who told you that.
At least I'm not a racist.
The Harvard racism test
says that you are racist.
Oh, come on.
That is a bullshit test.
Very racist.
It's not
a bullshit test.
"How do you like
them apples?"
It was Matt Damon's line
from good will hunting,
which was the movie
where he went to Harvard.
Take a deep breath
and stop doing that.
Peter,
did you cook the chicken?
I did.
It's really salty.
You guys, I'm very sorry.
For Christ's sake,
i used a dash of salt.
You over-salted.
It's like your calling card.
Well, maybe you just have
an overly-sensitive palate.
Maybe you're
heavy-handed.
I was doing what i thought was
right, like your good friend Hitler.
I had an abnormal pap smear.
Oh, no.
Well, they said that, um, a
lot of people have it. It's hpv.
Oh. And you know what the doctor said to me?
That it's actually not really
anything to worry too much about
and just to keep an eye on it.
So, that made me feel better.
I think you should just
come out with it, you know?
Just get
straight to the point.
No, no,
we have to ease into this.
No. I think that
Sarah's right.
Jessie, you should
just look at them,
and you just say,
"Peter, Ruby,
fucking get divorced."
That's not
exactly what I meant.
Why do
i have to say it?
Because she's your sister.
Yeah, but this is your plan.
Why don't you say it?
Look, why don't you
guys just both do it?
You mean, like,
play off each other?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I see
what you're saying.
I like it.
Let's do this.
All right.
Okay.
Treats for the...
Some treats.
Some drinks.
There you go.
There you go, guys.
- Super strong.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers! Cheers!
Drink. Everybody
take a drink and sip.
- Cheers.
- So...
Right. Yes. Here's...
Yeah.
We think it's time
to just get something out.
Just get it out in the open.
Jessie.
Yeah, um.
Yeah, because, uh, it's...
Um...
We talked and...
Okay, just...
Should I?
Yeah.
Ruby.
And Peter.
We think that
it's for the best
for both of you,
probably for everyone,
if...
If we play charades tonight.
I know that apples to apples
was discussed,
but I don't like that game.
I'll play charades. Sure.
It's a big announcement.
Thank you very much.
I love charades. It'll be fun. Cool.
What was that?
Well, I panicked.
And you weren't much help.
I was warming up.
Well, I got too warm.
And I think I might
be a little bit drunk.
And sometimes Ruby scares me
so much and I just freaked out.
Okay. Calm down,
calm down, it's fine.
Here, give me these.
We can do it tomorrow
and when you're not so full.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Annie?
Hmm?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Hmm.
No.
Just gonna...
No, no. Let's not, honey.
She is super full.
I am going to take...
Can I help?
Thanks, no.
You were too tasty, dinner!
Right! I'll see you guys downstairs, okay?
Matt, we're...
No!
He is nice.
See you downstairs.
Hey.
In case you need
to throw up more.
Do you think anyone noticed
that I was drunk?
I think they may have had
some idea, yeah.
Shit.
Can I have a hug?
Do y'know? Something that's
always just really hurt my feelings
is you never tried
to make out with me.
Not even one time.
Sorry.
Fine.
I love you.
Hey.
You know,
I've been with women before.
Jack's cool with it.
Cool.
We should get down there.
Sure. Mmm-hmm.
Charades.
I mean, i just don't think
that she should be drinking.
You should stay out of it.
It's... she's an adult.
Well, Matt, what do you think? I
mean, you're with her every day.
Well, I think it's
just an isolated thing,
and I wouldn't worry
about it.
I mean, she has like a glass of
wine and then before you know it,
she's like five Martinis in
and she's getting tackled by
the secret service for trying to
kiss Bill Clinton at a restaurant.
I just... I think that maybe
we should sit her down tomorrow.
No, no. No, no, no.
Well, she shouldn't drink ever,
like at all. She shouldn't...
Just stay out of it.
It is none of your business.
I am.
I'm concerned about her.
that people should deal with
their own personal problems,
on their own time,
in their own way,
and other people should
kind of butt out, right?
That's exactly
what I'm saying.
Very interesting.
Yes. Yes. Okay, fine. I'll drop it.
But listen,
if I see her drinking again,
I want us to say something.
Okay?
What is it? Is it a TV show? Is it a movie?
Give me... Give me a "sounds
like." What does it sound like?
Taking...
Time!
- Ah!
- What was it?
Uh, m-a-s-h?
I don't know what that is! Oh, that.
It was a television show. What
are those periods behind it?
It's a movie, too. It's a movie. From when?
A long time ago. Who cares?
All right,
you guys, you guys...
Ruby!
Ready?
Yes.
Okay, okay, okay.
Movie. One word.
Movie.
Psycho.
Big picture.
Jaws!
Yes. Yep.
Yes!
Okay, okay, okay.
Good. Film. Second word.
Hump.
Forrest Gump!
Two words.
First word. The...
Burned. The burned... the...
No, you can't do that.
Hot... the hot...
- The untouchables!
- Peter!
What? How is that...
That's insane.
A monster?
The bear.
The unbearable
lightness of being!
No way! No way!
Time's up! Time's up!
No, no!
You were so good.
How many did you get?
This is the team
to be on.
Good.
That was very
impressive. Hey!
Hey, could you
scoot over a little?
Annie, could you
scoot over a little?
Oh, baby.
Hmm?
Look, I can do this.
Oh, my god.
You don't think it's weird
we don't live together?
I don't think it's weird or not
weird. I think it just is what it is.
Mmm-hmm.
You know,
it's been three years.
You don't think it's
weird at all? Really?
I don't wanna talk about this
right now. Okay?
Well, you never
wanna talk about it.
Do you want me to
fuck you or not?
Yes.
You okay?
Yeah, sorry.
It's okay.
You think...
Is this okay?
Yeah.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
Okay. Ruby said uh, Lola's your type.
Your type's younger people?
That's what that means,
right?
You are my type.
Okay?
So how young
are we talking?
Good night.
Jessie. I can't have
a conversation with you?
Look, I still want you
to fuck me.
What are you doing?
Where's Sarah?
She's upstairs.
No, no, no!
Jessie, it's okay.
I know you want to.
Nobody has to know.
See? That wasn't so bad.
Morning.
Hey.
Beautiful morning.
It is.
How is everything?
Everything's fine.
I'm fine.
Good.
And you?
How are you doing?
Great.
You know, I really do want to
see you guys more.
How are you
and Sarah doing?
We're doing good.
Can't believe you haven't fucked it up yet.
I know, I must be slipping.
Are you bored?
A little.
God, I miss having
the time to feel bored.
Do you have one?
No, I'll take one, though.
Morning.
Morning.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Morning. Morning.
Good morning! Who is ready for some kickball?
Oh, mimosas. Yes.
Can we just... There was
something i wanted to get out of...
What?
The... your...
Somebody's in a mood.
No drinking.
Ruby wants to sit you down
because of last night.
That is absurd.
Matt said that it was an isolated
incident and that you were fine.
Okay.
So what's the problem?
The problem is,
you are one mimosa away from
getting this whole thing
turned around on you.
If you wanna do
the intervention
with them,
you can't drink, okay?
You have to
keep it together.
Do you think i
can't not drink?
I don't really know.
Can you not drink?
The wording is so confusing.
Okay, simple.
No drinking.
Okay?
Fine. Fine.
It's better anyway. Yeah.
I gotta keep my
eyes on the prize.
Um...
Game time is in 10 minutes.
Ten minutes!
So, yes, be ready.
And Matt and Jessie, can you please
help me move this, uh, bucket?
Sure.
To the outside.
I guess take that side and...
perfect. And then we're gonna...
Oh, I gotta lift it.
Here.
Ooh.
I had an epiphany.
I know how to do it,
but we need to
figure out a way to get
Peter and Ruby to
leave for a little while,
so I can fill everyone in.
So, how are we gonna do that?
That wasn't part
of your epiphany?
No, it's not helpful. Okay?
Well, we tell them we need them
to go get something in town.
That's good. That's really good. Okay, what?
Uh, something
for the barbecue?
Okay.
Corn?
Hey, would you two mind,
after the game, going into town
to get some corn,
corn on the cob, for tonight?
Sure.
Great.
Oh, shit, babe.
Would you go to the kitchen
and grab my sunblock?
Yeah.
Thanks.
You and I are
very similar, Jessie.
Yeah?
Mmm-hmm.
We're both sexual beings.
I mean,
i have had sex, but I...
But it just
makes it hard because
we're never satisfied with
just one man or one woman.
I don't really understand
what's happening right now...
Just one kiss.
Just one. Just to
see what it feels like.
No, you'd probably be
very disappointed...
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck was that?
It was nothing.
Let's go play.
that you won't just move over
to third base, so...
I'm just gonna be
here on first base.
I'm not gonna be
running or anything.
How are you gonna catch
the ball when you can't...
All right, let's go!
Let's go!
How we feeling?
Jack. Pass it to me.
You can do it, Taylor!
Get it!
Oh, shit!
Look out!
It's been a while since I had
any balls flying at my face, so...
Matt!
Mattie! Mattie!
Here. Here, here, here!
Why didn't you just throw it to
me? It's gonna happen all day.
How do you want me
to throw it to you?
We're fine. This is sports.
This is what sports is.
but I was mvp on the kickball
team at my detention center, so...
Should not
brag about that.
All right,
all right, all right!
Here, here, here!
Right here, right here, right
here! Right here. Right...
I caught it any...
Will you pass me the ball,
Peter?
You want me to pass you the
ball? I'll pass you the ball.
Okay.
Ready to rumble.
Oh, my god, Ruby.
Are you okay?
Come on, let's go back to the
house and get some ice on it.
You all right?
Sorry.
God, Peter.
It's okay. We're just
gonna get some ice on it.
Should have a time-out.
I'm sorry.
It might be tricky to get
them to go on that errand now.
Does it hurt?
No, it just startled me,
more than anything.
So...
Yeah.
So, um, I was wondering
when you were planning on
going into town,
just because,
you know, I wanna know
that we are gonna have enough
time to prepare all of that corn.
Yeah.
I'll go in a few minutes.
You both have to go.
Yeah. Well, I don't think
Ruby's gonna wanna go with me
anywhere right now.
Peter, listen.
Life is hard.
Making your way in
the world today...
Takes everything you got.
Yup.
Peter, listen.
Take her out, get her some ice
cream, tell her you're sorry.
'Cause we all know
it was an accident, clearly.
But still,
it was embarrassing for her,
and she could probably use
some time-out. You know?
Thanks.
Hmm.
Hey.
You ready to go to the store?
I don't really feel like
going to the store right now.
All right. Um...
I'm just gonna be outside
if you need anything.
Hey. I'm sorry.
Will you please
come to the store with me?
So, corn? Just corn?
Thank you. Corn for eight.
Okay. Strategy meeting
inside, now.
I really am sorry.
Just stop apologizing.
Because you forgive me?
Just stop apologizing.
On a&e's Emmy award-winning
show, intervention,
they tell them that they're
gonna be part of a documentary...
Okay, okay, okay.
We know how the show works.
The point is, I think that
we should all write something
saying why we think
they should break up,
and as their closest
friends saying that
we want them to
stop doing something
No, no. No, we're not doing
that. What do you mean, "no"?
I actually don't think
this is a terrible idea.
No, you guys heard
Peter last night.
This will not go over well.
I think that it
will go over just fine.
How would you know?
You were passed out during
the whole conversation.
- Okay, Jack?
- Yeah?
You have now spent
24 hours with them.
Can you honestly
say that you feel
happy about them
being together?
but I'm not gonna tell Peter
what he should be doing.
Are you... You think
that Ruby is the problem?
I'm not saying Ruby...
Peter is about as warm as
a Russian gymnastics coach?
Guys,
if we're going to do this,
we need a plan that doesn't end in charades.
Oh, charades was
so much fun.
I think the letter
plan is really good.
Let's do the letter thing.
Yeah, I'm with Jessie.
I think it's a good plan.
That's a great idea.
is we should all start
thinking about what to write,
then we should
write something.
Lola, you should put on,
like, a whole shirt.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Great.
You gonna
open the car?
I wanna take a walk.
We should get back.
Five minutes.
It's just incredible.
I just love that sound.
Mmm-hmm.
It's been years.
It's our bench.
Come on.
Sit with me.
No, Peter,
what are you doing?
Tell me the story.
You used to love
telling me the story.
This is ridiculous.
It's professional.
Okay, great, great, great.
This is all wonderful.
Oh! No, no, no.
Actually, actually...
No, I don't know
if we should have alcohol.
Okay, one glass of wine.
Just one glass of wine.
Annie.
That was a mistake.
That was a mistake.
- I'm just sweating so much.
- Take a breath.
Calm down. It's gonna be okay.
They're here!
What? Okay. Okay.
Thank you, Matt.
You did a great job.
Okay, Jessie,
take your position.
Where is... okay. Okay.
Next to me. Up.
And... next to me.
Your position is next to me.
Yup.
Here we go.
What's this?
Would you guys
please take a seat?
What's...
We got the corn.
Thank you.
Ruby.
Ruby, Peter...
Um...
Before we all got here,
we talked.
We...
Um...
The people in this room
who are not you two.
Not Lola, because she's new,
but just the five of us.
Part of the reason
that we wanted to come here
was to talk with you.
Um, because we...
We, uh, wanted to
bring something up.
It might come like...
It might sound weird...
But maybe it would be good.
And it really could be good.
Okay, what could be good?
- Uh, so bad.
- It's okay.
Um...
Scientists
believe that, um...
As...
As man began to
walk on two legs,
the burden on the mother
was increased.
Uh, because they were
no longer able to
just carry their
young on their back
and go on with
their daily lives.
You know, they needed help.
Thus the need for a partner,
a husband,
if you will, arose.
I'm sorry,
what are you talking about?
What do you think?
Maybe you should...
Just read the letter.
Just gonna read the letter.
"Ruby, I've known
you for my whole life.
"You are like my sister.
"Peter, you are like the brother i never had.
"But not like the brother I have
because he and I are not close.
"I love you both very much.
"And, as your friend,
i can't stand by
"and watch you
suffer without saying..."
Okay, what is happening?
What's happening?
"I remember a time..."
They think you
should get divorced.
What? They think that you
two should get divorced.
We just feel like
you guys are unhappy.
Hold on. So... so let me get this straight.
You all got together
and talked about our marriage.
No. No.
We didn't get together.
It was phone
calls and texts and...
Well, our marriage
is none of your business.
Man, we're just trying
to help you. Both of you.
- You wanna help?
- Yeah.
Annie's, Annie's, postponed
your wedding four times?
Did you ever give
that one some thought?
Like any of you
are fuckin' perfect.
All right,
Peter, come on, man.
And you?
You're running all
over the fuckin' planet
with a goddamn art student,
afraid of something you're
not even man enough to face.
Peter, I think that maybe if
you just calm down and listen...
"Calm down"? And you. The
fact that you, of all people,
think you have any business
giving anyone relationship advice
Sarah's the first person you've
been with who could rent a car.
Peter, you gotta calm
the fuck down.
I need to calm down? Yes, you
have to calm the fuck down!
"Calm the fuck down"?
Calm the fuck down, yes!
Would you still defend her
if you knew i walked in on her
making out with Lola earlier?
And you wanna talk
about our marriage?
That is not true.
Can you fucking
believe this?
Ruby.
I'm alone in this?
Fuck this.
It...
Babe.
It...
Ruby...
Don't.
This is kind of worst-case
scenario right now, huh?
He made some
interesting points.
I'm gonna tell
you what happened.
Babe, will you please stop?
What?
She kissed me, okay?
Peter said
that you were making out.
No!
She kissed me. Peter walked in. It stopped.
So Peter walking in
is actually why it stopped?
No. No.
Peter walking in
was basically instantaneous.
I would have stopped her.
I guess we'll
just never know, huh?
Are you upset?
No.
Kind of.
It's a little bit weird.
Yeah.
We always said
we would...
We just wanted
to have fun together, right?
Until it stopped being fun?
Nothing too heavy,
nothing too serious.
Could be
somethin' serious.
I'm 22.
Right. Right.
Do you wanna come out
and have a drink?
Can I do anything?
You can get your hand off me
before I break your fuckin' wrist.
I'll come back.
Okay, stop, dude.
It's not... that's fine.
Oh! God.
If you could watch a video
of what happened,
you would not be this upset!
Did you wanna kiss her?
The whole thing caught me
completely off-guard.
You know I have
terrible reflexes.
Did you want to kiss her?
Did I wanna kiss her? No.
But did it feel fun and
exciting and dangerous
to get that kind of attention
from some cute, young girl,
and did I like that? Yes.
I really can't
believe this, Jess.
Okay, so when the fucking rental
car guy is flirting with you,
batting his eyelashes at you, there
is zero part of you that likes it?
There's no part
of you that gets
just like
a little bit excited?
No, Jess. No. Okay?
Because I'm in love with you.
So I don't care.
Well, aren't you
fuckin' perfect, then.
Yeah, you're just sittin'
up there on your high horse,
so much better
than everybody else.
You never have
an impure thought or feeling.
Just fuckin' saints...
I miss sleeping with men.
Excuse me?
Yeah, I do.
I do. I miss it.
I think about it when you're fucking
me with a strap-on, like, every time.
And you know how I always say,
like, "i can't tell the difference"?
Well, I can.
It's not as good.
Jess!
Maybe I should go and
try to talk to Ruby again.
Just leave her alone.
Should we try to find him?
It's gonna be dark soon.
No. Let him cool off.
If he's not back after dinner,
we'll go look for him, all right?
This is all my fault.
Except for the Jessie-Sarah
thing. Lola, that's kind of on you.
I'm taking a shower.
I'm gonna take a shower!
Over my dead body!
Get out!
Get out! I'm taking a shower!
I'm in here. Excuse me,
I'm in here right now.
I am also in here now!
Can you not see
that this is crazy?
Don't call me crazy!
These are my feelings.
What do you want?
Do you wanna go kiss Jack?
Would that make
you feel better?
I was being facetious!
Guess we're even.
You swallowed his
whole face.
I liked it.
Am I having a stroke?
Should we do something?
What do you mean, like kiss?
No.
Are you done?
Hey.
No. There's really...
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Stop this! Stop! That is
enough! That is enough!
You are both
acting like animals.
You are better than this.
No, one of us is.
Oh, cut the shit!
Lola? Jessie?
Do the two of you
want to run off together?
I didn't do anything...
Can you just
answer my question?
No.
No.
No.
No.
do you wanna break up with
Jessie about this nonsense?
No.
Jessie, whatever
you did or did not do,
you did or did not do enough
to allow Lola's face to get
close enough to your face
to even make this
a conversation at all.
Lola, take this as a lesson.
No one likes a Jolene.
Sarah, I understand
that you are upset.
I would not be thrilled about
this either. But Jessie loves you.
She's a good person.
And you know that.
We are all under
a lot of stress,
so let's just sit down,
drink some of that
incredible chardonnay
and calm the fuck down.
Okay?
We should probably
go look for Pete.
Matt... all right.
Sorry.
We should split up, okay?
Okay.
If you find him, call.
Split up?
Yes.
All right. See you, guys.
I'm gonna go this way.
Okay, I'll go this way.
Well, Jessie, you probably
don't wanna go alone.
'Cause of the dark.
I'll be fine.
But you probably would be more
comfortable if i came with you. Right?
Would you be
more comfortable?
I mean,
if that's what you need.
Let's go.
Hey.
Do you want any help?
Sure.
She didn't kiss me back.
I know it doesn't make it
any better, but I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Am I the first
girl Jack's dated
since him and his
wife got divorced?
They didn't get divorced.
Mary died a year
and a half ago.
But, yes, you're the first
person that he's dated since.
Hmm.
I'll come out if you
promise not to talk about it.
I promise to not talk
about anything you want.
Petey.
Peter!
I should've probably tried
to stop this whole thing.
I really don't
think you could have.
No, I guess not.
Once the Annie-train
starts rollin' along,
it's kind of hard to stop.
I already started today, so...
Who's that?
You know, two weeks before
we found out Mary was sick,
she told me she
wanted a divorce.
And we met with a lawyer,
we started the whole process.
I knew she
wanted me to fight it.
Thought it'd be easier just
for us to go our separate ways.
And then the second we
found out she was sick,
everything changed.
In an instant,
all that resentment
and all that venom and anger
we had toward each other,
it just disappeared.
Right, and there we were...
The same two people who fell
in love 10 years earlier.
It was so crushing
to watch her go through that,
but, you know, it was
the best year of our marriage.
And then, she was gone.
You know,
it took something devastating
for me to figure out what
I had right in front of me.
Well, are you
gonna do like a buffet
style or a table service,
because...
Yeah, but then everybody can just
pick what they want, you know,
and the food
doesn't get as cold.
What about kids? Are
there kids invited? Yeah.
I mean, I guess it depends
how many people, right?
Right.
How many people
are you thinking?
I'm not sure.
You found
the dress yet?
There are
versions of it, yeah.
What about the cake? What
are you doing about the cake?
We don't really know.
Well, you have to order it in,
like, months in advance.
I'm really good with any of this
stuff if you need help, Annie.
It's just, you know,
Matt is doing everything,
so he's been like a godsend.
Have you picked your song?
Your wedding song?
Speaking of Matt,
um, where are they?
Because it's...
Oh. Whew.
Speak of the devils.
Hi, guys.
I'm sorry.
Would you guys mind?
No. No.
Yeah.
You agree with them?
I won't let it get messy.
I'm sorry i
don't have a penis.
I'm sorry I'm so old.
You know,
as long as we're hangin' out,
havin' fun,
I don't have to
kiss anybody else.
Hey. Wake up.
Hmm.
I made blueberry pancakes.
Come on. Come on.
Morning.
There's some fresh coffee and
a spread of whatever you like.
What do you think
is happening here?
I think he's lost it.
What are you guys
waiting for?
- Come on, eat.
- Hi.
Morning.
Hey.
Eat, please.
What smells so good?
Hi.
I also made muffins.
They should be done...
Uh, from scratch?
...in about two minutes. Yes.
Peter, are you okay?
Yeah.
There she is.
Yeah.
Good morning.
Okay, now that
everyone is here,
I would like to fill you in
on today's schedule.
I was thinking last night,
I realized that every time we
come here, we go out on the boat.
It's pretty much
the best part of the trip.
And we haven't
been on the boat yet.
Hmm? So everyone eat, get dressed,
and in one hour we will depart.
A day on the water.
Everybody in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love boats.
Excellent.
I'm gonna finish making lunch.
Everybody eat.
And the muffins
are coming right up.
Five minutes!
I feel concerned.
- He's fine.
- Hey!
Fine-adjacent.
Listen, do me a favor.
Google "how to tell if someone's
having a psychotic break."
Annie.
Woo! You guys not
hear the bell?
Yeah. Rally the troop! Let's go! Come on.
Come on. Come on.
We're gonna...
Listen. I think he is...
No, he's not.
What's going on?
You guys not hear me?
Let's get goin'.
Yeah.
For the record,
this is turning off
and it's staying here.
Hi!
Why aren't you dressed?
I'm not going, Peter.
What?
No. Come on. We're all gonna
get going. We'll wait for you.
I'm not going.
Ruby, you have to come.
It's a tradition.
You can't just change tradition.
You can't just walk away.
Look, hey, Ruby.
You spend years
building these things, right,
and they mean something.
You can't just walk
away without even...
Jesus fucking Christ,
Peter, just stop!
Stop what?
Stop it, all of this,
all of this fucking bullshit!
The fucking boats,
the sandwiches!
Just stop it!
I was just trying to do
something nice. It's too late.
It's just way too
fucking late. Okay?
It's not too late.
You need to just let go!
So, that's it, you made up your
mind, you're just gonna walk away...
You'll leave it all behind,
right, the family, everybody?
You gave up years ago.
And you didn't?
Look, I'm not saying
that I'm innocent here.
We've been hurting
each other for years.
But just think
about it, Peter.
When was
the last time you even
remember feeling
in love with me?
Last night.
Last night?
Yeah.
Okay, and before then?
I don't... please.
Exactly.
There's nothing here, Peter.
There's nothing.
That's not true!
That can't be true.
Come on, Ruby.
I'm done. I can't.
There are some things
that are worth fighting for,
and I'm asking you if you
will fight for it with me.
I need you to go, okay?
I need you to leave.
Come on. Please.
Come on, Ruby. Please!
I need you to leave.
Just fucking leave, okay?
Just get the fuck outta here!
Don't fucking touch me, Jessie. Go away.
Get the fuck out!
Get out!
Get out! Get outta here!
Now what?
Don't you think
we should go check on her?
No.
No.
I think I'm gonna
go up there.
Annie, don't.
See what's happening.
I was just coming to see if,
you know, if there was any...
She threw peaches at me.
Peaches.
So, I think one
of you should try.
Actually, no.
No, thanks.
Guys...
What?
I could go talk to her.
Lola, no, no, no.
Why?
Yes.
Yes. Actually, I think
that would be perfect.
'Cause Ruby would never throw
peaches at someone she doesn't know.
You shouldn't get in
the middle of this.
It's okay. I can do it.
Guard your face.
Is it cool if I sit down?
So, do you wanna break up with your husband?
Why would I talk to you?
I don't know.
It's been so bad for so long.
I just let go of the idea
that we'd ever be good again.
It will be easier
just to end it, but I...
But I don't want to.
And I'm so mad at myself
that I don't, but I...
But I don't.
So, don't.
But what if we try
and it doesn't work?
Well, maybe you'd regret
not trying more.
What if we can't get back
to where we were?
Well, maybe
you could make something new.
Hi, you've reached Peter's
cell. Leave a message after...
We'd just finished lunch.
We were supposed
to go back to the house
because my dad was
going to take you fishing.
And you asked me
to go for a walk.
You seemed so nervous.
I thought it was because
you were scared to be
alone with my dad, but...
I wanted to be alone with you
for just a few more minutes.
So, we went for a walk
and we came here.
I remember thinking, "i never
thought i could be so in love."
And then you got on your knee
and took out the ring
and asked me to marry you.
I started crying and I couldn't
speak, i was crying so much.
And I just nodded, and I nodded,
and I jumped in your arms.
And we just... We sat on
this bench laughing and crying
and holding each
other for hours.
It was the happiest day
of my life.
All of my happiest days
have been with you.
I still love you,
but I...
But I'm not happy.
And I know that
you're not either.
And I'm so sorry.
I'm...
And I don't know, Peter,
I don't know if we can...
If we can fix it.
But I wanna try.
Will you try with me?
Nothing. Why won't they just call
or text or tweet or something?
Yeah, I mean it's really rude they're
not considering you in all this.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
I think that...
You don't have to apologize,
okay?
You guys were right.
Oh, god.
You poor things.
How are you
gonna tell the kids?
Well, we're not.
You'll just move
out in the night?
No.
Nobody's moving out. We're...
we are gonna work things out.
Oh, yay!
You're staying together?
Yeah.
No.
No. No.
No, no, no, you weren't
supposed to stay together.
You were supposed
to get divorced.
Yeah, but we don't want to.
You're trapped
inside this endless chapter
of torment and misery
and this was your way out.
Take it.
This is a disaster!
Okay, have fun being married
for the rest of your lives.
Annie, can...
Annie.
Hey. Hey.
What's going on?
I don't want to get
married in October.
Okay.
When do you want
to get married?
Because we said,
"no more postponing."
That was the deal.
I know.
Do you want to
get married to me?
I want to want to.
I have never wanted to want
anything more in my whole life.
You're my best friend in the
world, but I don't wanna be a mom.
I don't wanna be a wife,
even your wife.
Well, then, maybe you're
just not ready, maybe...
Do you wanna get married
and you wanna have kids?
Yeah.
I want you to
have those things.
Please have a seat.
"Annie.
"Your drinking has affected me
in the following ways."
I missed you.
I missed you.
I was thinking
that, um...
When we get home that maybe
we could start talking about
potentially
moving in together,
if you feel like that's something
you wanna start talking about.
Uh, yeah.
I could potentially be into
um, starting that conversation.
Cool.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.
Soon? We'll see you
in October though, right?
This was so fun.
Okay. Bye!
Okay, bye, guys.
Everybody drive safe. Bye.
Thank you.
Yeah. Thank you.
Uh, what about
New Orleans?
Could stay all night.
Have you ever
been to L.A.?
No.
Can I get you
anything to drink?
Yeah. Can I please
have an orange juice?
Actually, uh...
No, don't worry.
Orange juice is great.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Can I get you
anything to drink?