The Legacy of Cloudy Falls (2024) Movie Script
1
[casual retro music]
[Rita] Dwellings have
distinctive edges,
just like people,
and I know this place
like a husband
knows his wife,
which is to say,
not as well as you'd think,
which is to say,
it still manages
to keep its share
of secrets from me.
There's a timing
to things, I've noticed.
Divine providence?
Hmm.
Lived here 18 years now,
spend most of my time
in the courtyard lately.
Sounds boring, I know,
but there's enough to see
if you know what to look for.
I'll pick a couple of them
to expose your way
since that's what you're after,
at random,
keep it pure, like in science.
I'm a fan of science.
Fair warning, the proceedings
tend to get repetitive,
what with people
being reluctant
to learn from past mistakes.
Gets... repetitive.
[pen buzzing]
Ah, fuck!
[man screaming]
[screaming continues]
[traffic sounds]
[sighing]
[distant clattering]
What?
I heard screaming,
is everything okay?
Everything's fine.
[motor revving]
[sighing]
[knocking at door]
Came to say thanks for being
my knight in shining armor
and whatnot.
Well, you said you were fine.
Yeah, but you didn't know that.
Here.
Got this.
I didn't realize
they rented out your unit.
Nah, I'm just passing through.
My aunt owns the building,
she lets me
crash here sometimes.
They never rent that one out
ever since the stabbing.
Pretty fucked, right?
She says she's superstitious.
Personally, I think
she's just too cheap
to shampoo the carpets.
Edwin.
Uh, Terry.
Still up, huh? Light sleeper?
Yeah, same,
most smart people are.
Yeah, got a lot buzzing around.
Anyway, just wanted to say,
thanks for being a decent cat,
not that I know you, but, uh...
I get a feeling sometimes.
So... tell me about you,
what's your deal?
My deal?
Yeah, tell me something.
Oh, uh, I-- I don't know.
You don't know?
I'm not sure, I'm sorry.
I took a couple of
sleeping pills
before you got here, and
I'm afraid I'm a little groggy.
Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess I'll
just get out of your hair then.
I'm sorry.
Nobody in this tiny shithole
talks to anybody.
I'm sorry, that's not--
that's not--
No, I get it. You're groggy.
[sighing]
[solemn music]
[gentle retro music]
[Rita] Some people pay more
for their units than others.
It's how buildings work.
I could tell within
a minute of meeting him,
he'd be willing to pay more
without complaining.
And I was right.
Point being, he's not a man
I'd choose to socialize with.
But he's necessary
to the ecosystem.
[Edwin grunting]
[grunting continues]
[Loyd] Just a minute!
Oh, will you be needing
a shampoo?
Actually, uh,
that's not why I'm here.
Um, I came for--
Body hair removal?
Come on, show me how
much you're working with.
Um, not that either.
Uh, house sitting?
Uh, maybe I've misunderstood.
Oh, the other thing.
Well, why didn't you say so?
Good, it's been a while.
Is it infidelity?
I really just came to
inquire about prices, all that.
Um, [clearing throat] maybe...
set up a time to chat?
Well, it's best to
grab me while you got me.
It's a sliding scale,
we could work something out.
Come on, sit down.
Do you do a lot of
private investigating?
Sure.
Do you use the no-name stuff,
if you don't mind me asking?
-I'm sorry?
-[chuckling]
That's not the most convincing
stuff on the market.
No offense, it's just that
when it comes to hair color,
it's best to splurge
or go au naturel.
Come on, come on, sit down.
I'll give you the once-over
on the house.
[sighing]
Come on, sit down.
That'll give us a chance to
really delve into
whatever it is that is
turning you gray so young
in the first place.
You need me to locate him,
in the picture over there?
I need you to locate his son.
[mysterious retro music]
I see her making
a full recovery.
Give her love.
Bask her in positive energy.
And, um...
Light a white candle.
Okay.
But, um...
The thing is...
I don't have a dog with cancer.
And I've actually been
recording this whole thing.
So, no dog?
No dog.
Well, it seems
that time's escaped us.
The parlor's closed.
Anything you want
to say to my followers?
I don't like being lied to
in a place of spiritual worship.
That makes two of us.
I don't like your demeanor.
Okay.
I don't like your tonality.
My what?
Your verbal tonality.
You be careful, they don't like
being questioned.
Powers that be don't like
what you're doing.
[bells on door ringing]
Yet.
[sign buzzing]
[Rita] Niagara Falls.
A higher ratio of human being
to wax figures
you'd be hard-pressed to find
anywhere on Earth, I bet.
And the all-you-can-eat
buffets?
Hope you like crab meat.
Not the wedding capital of
the world, that's Vegas.
And not technically one of
the Seven Wonders, but almost.
This place is
almost a lot of things.
Like Brigit Gallow.
Her life is almost interesting.
[harrumphing]
Wait 'til you get
a load of this one.
Mediocre cold reader
with a temper.
I don't like being lied to
in a place of spiritual
worship.
That makes two of us.
I don't like your demeanor.
Okay.
Your tonality.
My what?
Your verbal tonality.
Archangel Sandalphon comes in.
Now he is the only archangel,
along with his twin,
Metatron,
who was once a mortal human.
And this
brings us back to the--
And the sex trafficking ring
is being run
out of the back of, get this,
a chain of taco trucks
in Des Moines.
And if the taco truck owners
have nothing to hide,
then why'd they make their
Instagram accounts private?
All of them, all of a sudden.
Shit.
Don't look.
I think that lady sits
on my wife's board.
Don't look.
Brigit.
[knocking]
...to the gap
between where we are
and where we want to be.
We will bridge it.
Can you see yourself
bridge it?
I can see you bridge it.
I can see you, Brigit.
[eerie music]
And they may say,
send them to the gallows.
I can see you, Brigit.
Gallows.
But you and I are made
of better stuff than that.
The quality of mercy
is not strained.
And you and I must practice
the discipline it brings us.
Um, we're here about unit 12?
We emailed earlier.
Is this a good time?
Sure. Now's good.
Come with me.
[door creaking closed]
Um, what about bugs?
Do you get bed bugs?
Honestly, all the time.
What?
They're not as bad as people
say, and we have the powder.
Oh, that's no good.
No, it's not, but that's life.
All buildings have them.
At least you'll have
an honest super.
Not all buildings have those.
This is unacceptable.
The good people who live here
might disagree with you.
We're leaving.
Um, is it a big ordeal,
getting rid of the bugs, I mean?
-Maureen.
-Oh, relax.
Um...
[camera clicking]
[Rita]
I have a soft spot
for that one.
But then, my favorite nephew
is a compulsive liar, too.
[sighing]
Here, I'll get you a refill.
[breathing deeply]
[knocking]
[heavy knocking]
Uh, hello?
I hate to bother you,
and I don't have an appointment.
Is that okay?
It's not.
This isn't a nail salon.
No, I'm very well aware
of what this is.
Of who you are, Miss Marlow.
I've waited
a long time to meet you.
Can't tell you how many times
I've passed by your office,
on my way to work,
or, uh, what force, exactly,
compelled me to finally
walk up those stairs
and introduce myself today,
but I do hope you'll indulge me.
My name is Calvin Carmichael,
and I have an interest
in the dramatic arts.
You want to act?
That's right.
Look, now's not the time.
Okay, then.
Wait.
You have any experience?
-Not professional.
-Shh!
Only in private.
In private?
I just mean at home. Alone.
Sometimes I'll
talk along with the TV.
I tape my shows,
and I learn all the words,
and I recite
the dialogue over top.
That's it?
One time,
I posed nude for an art class.
Not sure if that counts.
It doesn't.
Look, this isn't the time.
I understand.
I just came
to speak it out loud.
Wait.
My private line.
Well, uh, thank you, I...
-I, I just--
-Now go.
[crickets chirping]
I like the way you talk.
Don't do that.
Do what?
Fetishize my accent like that.
Why not?
I just mean if
I were born someplace else,
I wouldn't talk like this,
but I'd still be me.
Yeah, but you weren't
born someplace else.
But I could have been.
That doesn't even make sense.
Never mind.
[motor revving]
I like that sound.
It's relaxing.
You realize
they're all horny, right?
That's not true.
Sure it is.
You're saying
all these crickets
are trying to get laid
at the same time?
Why else do you think they're
making that noise, conversation?
Where do you get this stuff?
Here.
-Why do crickets make noise?
-Who cares?
-Give me that.
-No way.
-Give me that.
-Hey, give me that.
Go on, get it. Get it.
[soft music]
[splashing sound]
[faint chatter]
[laughter] Come on, come on.
-Coming! One shake.
-You're already wet.
-I'm not-- well, like half.
-Come on, get in!
-No, stop!
-Get in here!
Come on!
-Yes! Yeah.
-[gasping]
[water sloshing]
[door closing]
[Rita] Terry works for
the second-least profitable
souvenir store in
all of Niagara Falls.
But then,
souvenir stores in general
are going out of style.
People don't like
to reminisce anymore, I guess.
Makes you wonder
what'll come of
all those snow globes
and fridge magnets.
Melted down, I suppose?
Turned into souvenirs
for someplace else.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
Don't think I don't know
that you're in there.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
[door opening]
Edwin, I know you're in there.
Don't think I don't know
you're in there.
[Edwin] Don't answer.
-[knocking]
-Don't answer.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
What are you--
What are you doing?
Is he in there?
Who?
It's just me.
If you happen to see my nephew,
can you tell him
to call me on my cell?
Wow, it's the second time
you saved my ass.
If I didn't owe you before--
What's going on?
Yeah, I guess my aunt's feeling
a little less hospitable
this time around.
I mean it, okay?
[sighing]
[nervous chuckle]
[coin clinking]
[machine whirring]
Renata Wallace from
the corner unit steals cats.
I'm serious.
If you ever get a cat,
do not let it
near Renata Wallace.
I'm allergic.
Okay. I got one.
You know Shiny Shoes
across the way there?
His name's Lenny, Lenny Lepper.
You ever notice he always has
a pair of shoes
drying on his windowsill?
You will now.
See, he's always polishing them,
so the way I see it,
it's like a compulsion,
you know?
[Edwin]
It started a long time ago.
Without getting into all
the gory details,
let's just say
one time in college,
he helped a friend get out
of a messy situation,
and he ended up with so much
blood on his shoes,
that the only thing that
calms his nerves
is polishing them,
over and over again.
Like one of those
Zen gardens, you know?
Okay, your turn.
Oh, okay, okay,
get a load of this one.
Your turn.
Oh, uh, I-- I don't know.
Sure you do.
First you gotta give her a name.
Um... Veronica.
Okay, Veronica what?
Uh, Veronica... Braille.
Okay. What's her secret?
[Terry] She has a friend
that no one can know about.
A... sugar glider,
[squeaking]
named Ginger.
Illegal here, so she smuggled
her across the border,
strapped to
the inside of her bra,
-for the company.
-Mmm.
Almost gave it away with its,
uh, incessant squeaking.
Okay, you're
seriously good at this.
-Well.
-No, really.
Hmm.
Okay, you see the lady
in the chair, the super?
When she thinks no one's
looking, she bites off a nail,
sticks it between her teeth,
and sniffs it
because she likes the smell.
And that one happens
to be true, I've seen it.
See, I think
she spends her days...
doing what we're doing
right now.
Just looking at all of us,
and guessing our secrets.
Hmm.
Good one.
[eerie music]
[exhaling]
Good, keep those arms straight.
Yep, looking good, guys.
[man outside] Shut up!
[door opening]
Where is everyone?
Oh, it's just us.
It's hard to last in this world.
Uh, debunking.
It's hard to find people
who care enough.
Yeah, but you care, right?
I mean, we care.
This is the exact same recording
device that James Randi
used to intercept
Peter Popoff's earpiece in 1986.
I found it online,
wasn't too expensive,
and I was thinking
that maybe we could use it
to take down Walter Pryce
once and for all...
Maybe I'm getting cynical.
But lately,
I find myself wondering
if changing people's minds
is even really possible.
Well, we can try.
Come on.
I-- I don't think
I'm your guy for this, Bridge.
Oh, come on man.
I'm sorry.
This was a nice idea.
I-- I wish you luck.
[sighing]
[melancholic music]
[faint chatter]
[dealer] Sir?
So the real question is,
whose algorithm
is making these videos
go viral in the first place?
I mean,
who wants us to see them?
Is it the social media sites?
Is it the search engines?
Because you and I both know,
there's no such thing
as a viral video anymore--
You're talking really fast.
I am?
Yeah, and loud.
I try to talk slowly,
but it just doesn't work.
[sighing]
I think my wife, um, suspects
something, I'm not sure.
It's just a feeling I get.
Maybe just for now,
you and I,
we should hit the pause button
for a bit.
Not see each other as much.
-Shit.
-I know. It sucks, but...
No, no, it's not that.
Shit.
What?
I think he might be onto me.
Who?
Walter Pryce.
Who?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
fuck, yeah.
Sorry. Um.... onto you?
I wasn't going to say anything
until I was sure, but...
he's been sending me, like,
coded messages
through his videos.
Okay.
I realize how this sounds.
Okay, like what?
What-- what kind of messages?
Well, at first
it was little things
that I could brush off,
but lately he's getting bolder.
He said my name first and last,
right there in the video.
And now this thing
with your wife.
Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
You think he's talking
to my wife?
Yeah, if someone tipped her off.
The timing's suspicious.
It's concerning.
Yeah, concerning, right.
And my debunkers group
basically quit on me,
days before his show.
And I'm not saying that,
like, he got to them somehow,
-but I can't be sure he didn't.
-Look, Bridge, it's...
There are few things that men
like Walter Pryce won't do
to protect their empires
from perceived threats.
You know that.
Brigit, your debunkers group
disbanded because
it's a lost cause.
And, I mean, you're telling me
this guy's got nothing
better to do than spy on you
and, what, talk to my wife?
I mean,
I can't tell if you're
kidding with me right now.
Yeah, hard to tell.
Am I kidding?
Am I not?
Either way,
I think you're right.
Yeah. I do.
I think we should...
hit the pause button
for a little bit.
Bridge, wait,
hold on a second. Bridge.
Bridge, sit down.
Br... Bridge.
You know, lately people
have been asking me, like,
why I post so much
about Walter Pryce.
And like, why do we hate
any of the things we hate?
Well, maybe it's the time
he told a grieving couple,
on live TV,
that their missing daughter
would return home safely,
a week before
police discovered her body.
Or maybe it's that when he lies,
so many people listen.
But... if I'm being honest,
which, like,
I guess is the point
of all of this, um,
if I'm being honest...
oof, I...
I hate him
for reasons I understand,
and some I never will.
[motorcycle revving]
[coins clinking]
[forehead squeaking on glass]
[machine whirring]
Psst! Hey. Hey.
I found you.
Your office was closed.
Um, is the unit still available?
If so, I'd like to
take it just for myself.
And my husband can't know.
Well, not yet, anyway.
Um, I'm not
asking you to lie for me.
I wouldn't do that.
But I put a little extra
in there for discretion,
if that's okay,
in case he, uh, snoops around.
So, um, is it?
Is it still available?
Come back in the morning.
It's after hours.
Please.
He thinks I'm at bingo.
I can put up with the bugs.
After 22 years with him,
I can put up with some bugs.
You can move in on the first.
No sooner.
Thank you.
And final verdict.
8 minutes 13 for a nice,
runny yolk.
8 minutes 17 for a denser yolk,
which I prefer.
Um, and if a thick yolk
is what you're after,
a full 9 minutes
minus 2 seconds
ought to do the trick.
This applies to large eggs.
Oh, um, you can
have this if you want.
That's fine.
That's fine,
yes, you'd like me to leave it,
or that's fine,
no, you don't need it.
I'll take it unless
you need to keep it,
in which case
that's also very fine.
Well, um, personal taste
being what it is, per--
perhaps you'd be better off
running your own experiments.
Terry, I-- I'm sorry.
I'm just a little distracted.
Oh, that's fine.
So am I.
[sighing]
[crunching sound]
Will you look at that?
I was 10 cents short
for a bag of chips.
Exactly 10 cents.
And I don't get paid
till tomorrow.
And I'm hungry and tired
and I just want my chips.
And then I look down,
and right there by
the vending machine is a dime.
And I thought, man,
I must have
a guardian angel
looking out for me.
The laziest-ass-phoning-it-in
guardian angel in all of heaven.
Of course,
if guardian angels were real,
you would have found
a lot more than a dime.
Exactly.
[chuckling]
[clattering]
Just a minute.
Okay.
Yeah, I-- I really
appreciate your time, you know.
It's-- it's not every day
that I get to pick the brain
of someone as
accomplished as yourself.
Yeah, well, you must have
caught me in a good mood.
[music playing on TV]
[faint dialogue from TV]
What's this?
Dad, this is Marissa.
What?
You didn't tell me anything.
I wasn't expecting anyone.
What is this?
A date?
No, Dad,
it's a business meeting.
This is the agent
I told you about.
So you're real?
Unless this is some sort of
paid escort situation.
Oh, my-- Dad.
Just kidding.
I'm sorry.
Well, he didn't say anything,
or I'd have dressed.
-That's fine.
-Come on, my room's this way.
Your son has something.
He sure does.
He has a dad who still pays
his cell phone bills.
-Dad.
-So if it's money
you're after,
I'm afraid this well is dry.
I'm so sorry about him.
No, it's fine.
We all have relatives.
Nice, uh, stuff.
Please don't touch that.
Oh. Sorry.
This is, um...
it's just temporary.
Yeah.
We've all been in,
um, temporary situations.
Look, I'll be honest.
Most of the work around here
is promotional brochures
and casino acts.
-Can you sing?
-No.
I can't say that
I'm particularly musical.
Oh, that's okay. We'll focus
on the brochure work.
And, you know, we do get
the occasional
movie of the week.
Those pay pretty good.
[father] Calvin?
Calvin?
If you ignore him,
it usually stops.
Calvin!
One second.
Why don't you come
when I call you?
This thing is screwing up again.
Well, Dad, I--
-Press--
-I have to take this. Sorry.
She has an important call.
Well, can I drive you home?
-It's the least I can do--
-I'll cab it. Really.
She's not interested, Calvin.
[Rita] I give this place
a year before it's torn down.
Developers have
been sniffing around
for a while now,
and I don't blame them.
Prime location.
They don't tell me anything,
but I give this place a year.
Torn down,
and all the memories with it.
There are other tenants I could
have chosen to cast your way,
like Rube Calamine,
who got his revenge on me
last summer for
ignoring his noise complaints.
-What's that?
-Jesus!
Trapped rats
and emptied their corpses
into the water supply.
Gotta give him credit
for ingenuity.
Or Reagan McCabe.
She runs a scam out
of her unit,
hires strangers off
the internet
to clean her apartment,
accuses them of breaking
a prized possession,
and refuses to pay them.
What's this?
I don't know.
A dog?
You broke it.
Take an acting class.
It's worth more
than you'll ever know.
Or Rosemarie...
Rosemarie...
Ugh, her last name eludes.
Anyway, she's an avid reader.
Frequently donates
her books to the laundry room,
with surreptitiously
placed Polaroids
of her privates
tucked between pages.
[camera clicking, whirring]
But it's too late for that.
As is often the case in life,
we're stuck
with who we stuck with.
[ticking]
[distorted sound]
["Western Stars" by k.d. lang]
Oh, watch the blood.
Oh, Jesus.
Western stars
light up the sky
Hear the desert
wind roll by
Tonight, tonight
Western stars
can break your heart
They keep shining
when we're apart
Tonight, tonight
I watch
I wait
How long will
my heart ache tonight?
Oh, tonight
I watch
I wait
-My--
-[splattering]
[sighing]
You shouldn't trust so easy.
You don't know this guy.
I know him.
I can't believe
you're jealous of Terry.
I'm not.
He's not the one
I'm worried about.
What's that mean?
Nothing.
You know
that Joni Mitchell lyric?
"I'm frightened by the devil,
"but drawn
to those ones that ain't."
Every time I hear that,
I think of you and me.
That's cute.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
Stop it. Stop it.
[car rumbling]
-[door closing]
-[Loyd sighing]
Oh, hey there.
I got a whole cart full
of nail polish about to expire.
How's that for a slow year?
Found your guy, though.
I have to admit, it was really
fun getting back into the game.
You know, it kind of
made me hungry for more cases.
I, uh, I printed off
some pictures
from social media of your guy,
so, uh, my printer's
kind of running low on ink.
I hope that's not a problem.
No, I-- I'm not ready.
I'm sorry.
I, uh...
I-- I need more time.
Okay.
Oh, I find it so relaxing,
painting nails.
You know,
sometimes I think
that's the only thing
that calms me down.
It's like when
autistic people lie on horses.
Of course,
it might be the fumes, too.
You know, that is a real thing.
Uh, are--
Are you sure this is his son?
Sure as rain.
Oh, and I even
found your buddy, too.
The one that was in
the picture with you.
I know you didn't ask me to,
but it-- it's there.
It's in the back.
Turns out he never actually
put the kid up for adoption.
They look like
a real happy family to me.
Wouldn't mind
being a part of it.
This isn't him.
That's not how
you spell his last name.
That's the name you gave me.
Well, that's
not how it's spelled.
But that's the name you gave me.
No, it isn't.
Fine, but in my defense,
you know,
you do not have
the tidiest penmanship.
Wait, wait.
If there is
some kind of mistake,
I can make it right, okay?
I will go out there,
and I will look
for your friend using
the correct spelling.
I would like my money back.
Oh, you really
don't want to do that.
That is going to stick.
Where is my money?
Are you sure you really
want to go through with
this whole refund thing?
Oh, I'm sure.
Okay, it's just
that I-- I just had
new shingles
put on the roof, and I...
Hey, would
you be open to bartering?
I could trade you some
haircuts and dye jobs.
Wha--
All right, well, I'll-- I'll be
here if you change your mind.
[grunting]
[eerie music]
Amongst the mist
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
[knocking]
[birds chirping]
[applause]
[audience whistling]
The truth!
Beneath the veneer...
beneath the temporary fables,
we write ourselves.
All the while knowing
they will only evaporate,
into dust,
and blow away with the wind.
But...
the canvas...
onto which we paint our stories,
that is the only truth!
The underlying
consciousness itself.
[applause]
[gentle music]
Well, there's a thing
you don't see on the daily.
[unsettling music]
[car door opening, closing]
[engine whirring]
[slot machine playing tune]
What are you doing here?
Come on, Bridge,
we talked about this.
You gotta text first.
Cameras can't see us here.
[sighing]
It's good to see you.
You miss me?
Yeah, I missed you too.
Look, Bridge, been doing
some, uh, soul searching.
I want us to be honest. 100%.
Not like me and my wife, okay?
I lied.
She doesn't suspect anything.
I-- I made it up because,
I don't know,
I guess I was scared of
getting too close or something.
I mean, what the fuck is that?
I don't want
to be like that anymore.
I want--
I'm-- I'm ready.
Ready to do this right
with you, okay?
What, are you mad at me?
Ah, okay.
Oh...
[exhaling, laughing]
[screaming]
Bridge, what the fuck?
Too hard?
Bridge, what the fuck?
[machines clicking]
[bell dinging]
[elevator beeping]
[lock beeping]
[knocking]
Well, hello.
Hi.
Well, well, well,
please come in.
You don't seem surprised.
Only pleasantly.
Don't be shy.
I'm not.
You seem nervous.
I'm not recording this,
in case you were wondering.
Comedian?
All right,
props are in the top drawer.
I assume the meter's running,
so choose your weapon.
Um, I think you have me
confused with someone else.
What is this?
I'm not-- I'm not,
like, uh, who you think I am.
Look, enough with
the stand-up comedy.
My name is Brigit Gallow.
Oh, congratulations.
From online?
What is this?
Who are you? Who sent you?
I'm a truth seeker.
You know me.
The debunker, eh?
Okay.
Don't pretend
that you don't know me.
You've been sending me
coded messages
through your videos
for some time,
and I want you to know that
I've heard them,
loud and clear,
and I'm not backing down.
Coded messages? Oh.
Uh, don't pretend
that you don't know me.
Oh, come now.
I'm not that scary, am I?
Boogie-woogie-woogie.
Oh, let me guess.
You have under 100 subscribers.
You know the debunking
literary market is dead, but...
your delusions of grandeur
have you convinced
that you'll revive it.
You worship at
the altar of, uh, James Randi.
No, I don't know you,
or your work,
but I've seen you
a thousand times.
Okay. You're a talented reader.
I've always said that about you.
Well, another thing
your tribe has in common
is loneliness,
and you're dishonest.
With yourselves,
and the ones you love.
For example, you, uh, convinced
yourself that your work matters,
matters so much
that I was threatening you,
sending you coded messages.
Seek this truth.
You are already silent to me.
You're even more charming
in person.
Well, all that paranoia
you're directing toward me
is no doubt the misplaced guilt
you feel for your own lies.
You don't know me.
And this type of superficial
pseudo-psychology might appeal
to the barely literate people
that buy your books, but...
I know you, inside and out.
What you want is what I have.
An audience who cares.
You feel so insignificant
that you attack
people who are in positions
of power, out of jealousy.
But you know you'd
give your life tomorrow
for a room of people
who believe your dogma.
You're lying again.
But I guess that's what you do.
Are you recording this?
Hmm.
I said no.
Are you recording this?
Maybe.
Look, if you're
recording this whole--
[knocking]
I-- get back here.
Wait, there's two of you?
Um, actually,
I was just leaving.
What's this, huh?
There's someone else?
What?
I shouldn't be surprised.
They do it with you,
they'll do it to you, huh?
He didn't know who I was.
-Who?
-Walter Pryce.
Who?
Um, doesn't matter.
But yeah, there's someone else.
[gasping]
[sniffling]
Thanks for this.
He's always
getting into trouble.
He was jealous of some guys
who were clearly straight.
It's his way
of showing he cares.
There's gotta be other ways.
Well...
He told me to run.
Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
Uh... [stammering]
He's fine.
-Anyway, I should go.
-Oh no, please. Uh--
I can make you some tea, or...
No, you've been kind enough.
I insist. Uh...
How are things
between the two of you?
Life with Edwin
must be, um, eventful.
Oh, it's eventful, all right.
Yes, I-- I'm sure it is.
But you, you're happy.
Yeah.
Hm. That's all that matters.
Yeah.
You make a handsome pair.
Thank you.
Anyway, I should go
and see if he's back.
Oh, I've made you uncomfortable.
What? No.
No, I have.
-I've pried.
-No.
Yes, I've pried.
Poor thing.
No, I just don't want
to overstay my welcome.
Or, you've sensed my discomfort,
and that's
what's turned you away.
I'm sorry?
I'm afraid you've put me
in a very difficult position.
The both of you.
I didn't want to be
thrust in the middle of this,
but here I am,
and here you are in my home,
and Edwin...
uh, he hasn't been
completely honest with you.
I-- I don't think.
He... seduced me.
Did you know?
We've been intimate,
more than once.
I'm sorry.
I should go.
I am terribly sorry.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
have heard it from you.
Of course not.
I mean, it's the lying
that really curdles my cream.
[gentle music]
It's now?
Yeah.
[clearing throat]
I dreamt about you again, Eve.
What kind of dream?
Well, that's the problem,
I don't remember.
But, if you'll let me
spend some time with you,
maybe it'll trigger something.
You sure know how to talk.
I'm sorry,
can we try that again?
Okay, first of all, you can't
just stop like that, okay?
I say stop.
-Okay, I'm sorry. I just--
-Let's go again.
I dreamt about you again, Eva.
What kind of dream?
Well, that's the problem,
I don't...
remember.
But, I figure if we could
spend some time...
time together.
You sure know how to talk.
[Calvin breathing deeply]
-You okay?
-I'm sorry.
I don't know what's going on.
It's a panic attack,
no big deal.
I've--
I've never had this before.
Oh, my god.
I get them all the time,
it's normal.
Most people do.
[inhaling]
[Calvin clearing throat]
I want to thank you
for your time,
but I-- I really should be off.
-What?
-I can do it in private, yeah.
But with the camera, the lights,
it's all just a bit too much.
It's a floor lamp.
I didn't mean
to waste your time.
Yeah, well, you did.
You think I'd do this
for just anybody?
No, I'm sure you don't.
That's right, I don't.
Look, you came
all this way here,
let's just film something.
I can't get you work
if we don't film something.
I know,
but I'm just, I'm not good
at talking
with people watching me.
Yeah, well, we can work on that.
And you're not really
Marissa Marlow, are you?
Excuse me?
Okay, obviously not.
Who cares?
That's not the point.
Look, yeah,
I am a compulsive liar.
That or pathological,
but I'm-- I'm pretty sure
it's compulsive,
which is the better one.
I'm sorry to hear.
No, don't be.
I like it.
Everyone's got something.
And I don't know about you,
but I'm ready for this.
And I can make it happen for us.
So my dad was right.
This is some type of scam.
What?
No, look, I'm trying
to hand you an opportunity here.
Yeah, yeah, I think I've had
enough excitement for a while.
[door opening, closing]
[motor revving]
[sighing]
There she is.
Shit.
This lady would like
her money back.
What? Who is this?
Have you been
posing as an employee
of this establishment?
Why would anyone do that?
She's lying again.
I want my money back.
Riley, come on.
[door opening]
Mind the volume.
Look, I don't know
what all this is,
but some of us have work.
Where are you going?
Get a life.
Come back here.
Sorry I'm late.
I hear you've been trying
your hand at impersonation.
You should have told me.
I would have
booked you at the casino.
Did that guy come in here?
Don't listen to him.
He's an ex.
Been spreading lies all around.
Riley, please.
I know bad acting when I see it.
I'm afraid
that's all I got in me.
I'm tired.
I'm... tired.
Not sure how it'll all end,
but, spoiler alert,
not much'll change.
Hope you got what you came for.
Hope you scratched an itch.
[water running]
[loud bang]
[motor running]
-[door opening]
-Hi.
[grunting, panting]
Tell me something,
and be honest.
Do you think I'm all sizzle
and no sausage?
Oh.
[Terry] No, of course not.
Of course not, yeah.
Some people, right?
Are you okay?
I don't think so.
You're not sure?
Well, who knows? Everyone says
they're fine when they're not,
so I want to
pay you the courtesy
of thinking it over before
I answer, if that's okay, Terry.
[Terry] Well, y-yes, of course.
My aunt changed the locks,
so I picked it,
which I'm not proud of.
And Lucas and I broke up.
Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's for the best.
He gets jealous.
He made up a story
about you, actually.
Did he come here?
[Terry] Who, Lucas?
No, of course not.
Yeah, exactly.
Let's play the game.
Oh, now?
Yeah, come on.
Now might not be the best time.
Come on!
Edwin, it's late.
Fine. I'll go.
Wait, wait, wait.
[sighing]
There's something
I need to tell you.
There's something I need to say
that's been weighing on me.
Well, I'm all ears here, Terry.
The moment I saw you,
you reminded me so much
of someone I once knew.
The last time I saw this man,
he was about to become a father.
It was a rather unexpected
piece of news, to say the least.
He made it very clear
that he never wanted
to see me again.
Hm. Let's just put it that way.
Last I heard,
they had decided to
put their son up for adoption,
and that was...
25 years ago.
As absurd as it may sound,
I had convinced myself that...
you might be his son,
and all these years later,
fate had somehow
brought you to my doorstep.
I hired a private detective,
to see if there was
any truth to my theory.
I spent $350 that I don't have,
to prove something
that I never really
believed in the first place.
That's pretty fucked.
I-- I know. I'm sorry.
Well, I'm not adopted,
sorry to disappoint you.
I know you're not.
I-- I never really
believed it was you.
That's the point.
I mean--
Isn't it funny what
I managed to convince myself of?
So wait,
the only reason you liked me
is because I remind you of
some guy you used to know?
No, of course not.
Well, he better be good-looking,
is all I gotta say.
Well, was he?
Yes.
How good-looking?
Very.
This is what
you think I look like?
Well, the-- the picture
doesn't do him justice.
I mean, he was
really quite breathtaking.
Well, then I can
understand the confusion.
You said you were
in love with this guy?
Something
along those lines, yes.
The key is communication, okay?
If something
feels good, tell me.
If something
doesn't feel good, tell me.
I'm not a mind reader over here.
Stop talking, okay?
[sighing]
Are your eyes open?
Yes, they damn well are.
Jesus, you scared
the shit out of me.
You're stealing my money.
No, will you keep it down?
The neighbors!
Yes, you are.
You're taking my money.
That's for the massage, okay?
I'm sorry.
You--
You said that was on the house.
-No.
-Yes, yes, you did.
Well, I changed my mind, okay?
That's my right.
Jesus, I thought you'd
be down to help me out,
but don't worry, I'll just
be broke forever and die broke.
Well, why didn't you just ask?
I couldn't sleep. I was bored.
So you're looking through
my wallet to pass the time.
I feel awkward
asking for money, okay?
I'm broke here.
Never mind.
Well, then take it.
Take whatever's in there.
-Go back to sleep.
-Stop telling me what to do.
Shh!
I should go. I can't sleep.
Have to-- Please, stay.
I-- I'm sorry.
Of course I want to help.
How much do you need?
It's just,
I can't always sleep
when I'm sharing a bed
with someone.
But thanks for this.
[loud bang]
No, wait!
[motor revving]
[footsteps approaching]
[water dripping]
[loud bang]
[motor revving]
[sighing]
[Pryce]
And you're dishonest.
With yourselves,
and the ones you love.
[Brigit] Don't pretend
that you don't know me.
You've been
sending me coded messages
through your videos
for some time.
[sighing]
Hello, this one's
gonna be a little different.
This one is a goodbye.
I created this channel
as a forum for honesty.
Because I was upset at the way
the Walter Pryces of the world
took advantage of people,
and I was also annoyed at people
for being so willing
to believe him.
To see patterns
where none exist.
To play connect the dots
and string together
unrelated events into convenient
stories in their minds.
But... anyways, lately I've
come to realize that
maybe I'm not as equipped
for this job as I thought.
Maybe one of you will succeed
where I have failed.
I know that there aren't
many of you watching.
I know that.
But the fact that there
are any at all,
to keep me company...
it's meant the world to me.
-So...
-[knocking]
[knocking continues]
Go away!
Well.
Hello.
I hope you're well.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, yes.
He's watching.
You know who else?
Archangel Michael.
He casts a judgmental eye.
What are you doing here?
Make yourself right
with the powers that be.
Remove the video.
That's not happening.
I'm a truth seeker.
I'm a conduit for the divine.
You lie to me,
then you lie to them.
I'm calling the cops.
Oh Christ, no, no, no. Christ.
Christ.
Do you mind if-- if I...
Okay?
I'm tired.
I'm tired of running.
There's many ways
I could proceed.
I... got many
attacks I could take.
I just don't know which one
would be most effective.
Probably none of them.
You care about the truth?
I'll tell you the truth.
I never expected to end up
in goddamn Niagara Falls,
but here I am.
Here we all are.
And I could tell you my story,
but I'm doubtful
you'd believe me.
You're right, I wouldn't.
Well, that's a shame,
because it's a colorful one.
I don't give a shit
about tarot cards.
My dream
would be a wax sculptor.
Really, yeah.
But it's a--
it's a dying art form.
You need to leave.
You listen to me.
I've shed many skins.
I've had many different names.
And what you need to know
is that what you have...
I prize my anonymity.
And you have compromised it.
I don't care.
You look a little nervous.
Like a bird
that's caught indoors.
Tell me something.
Are you always like this?
You know, jittery birds. Easy.
A little swipe of the broom,
and they're gone.
You don't make me nervous.
What's your name?
Brigit.
Hi, Brigit.
I, I, uh...
I apologize for the cane,
and-- and-- I should never
have swung it at you.
You're right.
You shouldn't have.
It's not like I wasn't provoked.
Oh. You know, threats...
can reveal our core
and what it's comprised of.
So I'm prepared.
I'm prepared to do whatever
it takes to protect my, uh...
my anonymity.
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you.
Fuck you, bitch!
Um... um...
-Hello? Um...
-Jesus!
-Um...
-Fuck.
We have a man with finger...
Blown-off fingers.
[man groaning]
Oh, fuck.
[groaning]
Ah, oh fuck.
Oh, fuck!
[man panting]
[man groaning]
Burton Carmel had spent
a life outrunning the law,
leaving in his path a string
of lucrative pyramid schemes,
an email money scam,
and a brief stint bookkeeping
for the leader of
a high-profile sex cult
you may have heard about
on a podcast.
He didn't die at
Cloudy Falls that night.
Not in any traditional sense.
Wasn't his time.
But his false identity did.
Hard to keep one's
legal name a secret
in the hospital while
getting one's hands sutured.
Point being,
Brigit finally caught a fraud.
I'll miss the smell here,
when it's gone.
I'll even miss the sounds
that wake me up at night.
This little episode of
the fortune teller
who bled out on the terrace,
it spawned,
as you can imagine,
its share of stories.
Some of which leaned further
into reality than others.
Some of which improved
on what actually happened,
in terms of intrigue.
And others of which failed
to capture the drama of it all.
But in any case,
it became another story.
Another piece of
Cloudy Falls' legacy.
[birds chirping]
[creaking]
[Edwin grunting]
[squeaking]
Oh. Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you so much.
Gotta keep the energy flowing.
Visiting 18 towns in 10 days.
It's a living.
18 towns, 10 days,
all with funny names.
That's a job.
It is, if you're
writing a book about them.
Been all the way from Accident,
Maryland, to Fleatown, Ohio.
With stops in Bacon, Georgia,
and Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Sounds like a short book.
Well, I chat with
the locals about
what it feels like to live
in Peculiar, Missouri.
Hell, Michigan.
Plus, I write a review
on the local eateries.
Hotels, motels.
There's
a travel guide component--
Okay, I get the gist.
Dinosaur, Colorado.
And then there
are the salty ones.
Muff, Ireland.
Twatt, Orkney.
Yep.
Every one of us has a calling.
And yours is writing a book
about towns with shitty names.
How's that feel?
Well, the funny part's
how the idea reached me.
There's a story.
I had recently been laid off.
I was going through a divorce,
and to top it off,
my sister fell off a horse.
And while driving to go
and see her in the hospital,
I got a flat
in Nothing, Arizona.
Nothing.
And it just hit me.
Divine guidance.
Every one of us has a calling.
A divinely ordained purpose.
Amen.
[change jingling]
Next stop,
Whynot, North Carolina.
Happy trails.
You say
your next stop's Whynot?
Take me with you,
and I'll pay for gas.
Oh.
I-- I'm afraid I travel alone.
You sure?
I'm a hell of a navigator.
It's just,
that's where I'm from.
I was born there.
Can you believe it?
If this isn't
a divine calling all over again,
I don't know what is.
I'm terribly sorry.
All right. Had to try.
Keep an eye
out for that book of yours.
Hey.
You thought
of a name for it yet?
Not yet.
I figure I'll know it
when I hear it.
How about...
"There Are No Accidents,
Except in Maryland."
[Rita]
Riley made it as
far as Missouri
before getting caught
trying to steal his car
after slipping sleeping pills
into his coffee.
[Riley] That's not true.
I got out by choice
in Illinois.
The man wouldn't shut up.
But leaving Niagara Falls
was the best choice
I've made in a long time.
My only regret is
not leaving sooner.
Kind of wish I'd been evicted
from that dump a long time ago.
[sighing]
[pen buzzing]
[shouting]
[grunting]
[faint buzzing, groaning]
[door opening]
[Rita]
Terry never saw Edwin again.
Doesn't think
about him much, either.
Good at compartmentalizing
things, I guess.
Male brain.
[Terry]
Well, that's not true.
I think about him all the time.
His late-night visits.
The time
we were finally intimate.
Only it feels like
something that happened
in someone else's life.
Like something I saw on TV,
or overheard through a wall.
I did see him again.
But I thought it best
not to say anything.
[sandals squeaking]
Doctor says it's good
for the arthritis.
I say, what's the point
of living on the ground level
if I have to walk up and down
the stairs seven times a day?
Brigit felt a void.
Accidentally exposing
a fraud left her with
no sense of the satisfaction
she had so long searched for.
No sense of personal reward.
Without debunking
to give her life meaning,
she found herself,
for the first time,
turning to the power of prayer.
[Brigit] That's a lie.
I definitely don't pray.
[wires clattering]
I guess I do miss
debunking from time to time.
The sense of purpose
that came along with it.
The nerves and the thrill
of secretly recording
a reading.
But most of the time,
I just feel relieved.
Like it's someone else's
puzzle to solve.
Like it's hard to remember
why it felt so important in
the first place.
[Rita] You can't go back in time
and change the past.
Undo the mistakes
that clutter our lives.
But if I could,
I would probably pick
different tenants to show you.
Individuals with, shall we say,
more redemptive qualities.
Nothing we can do
about that now.
It gets repetitive.
Walking up and down the stairs.
Over and over.
Gets repetitive.
[majestic music]
[relaxed retro music]
[casual retro music]
[Rita] Dwellings have
distinctive edges,
just like people,
and I know this place
like a husband
knows his wife,
which is to say,
not as well as you'd think,
which is to say,
it still manages
to keep its share
of secrets from me.
There's a timing
to things, I've noticed.
Divine providence?
Hmm.
Lived here 18 years now,
spend most of my time
in the courtyard lately.
Sounds boring, I know,
but there's enough to see
if you know what to look for.
I'll pick a couple of them
to expose your way
since that's what you're after,
at random,
keep it pure, like in science.
I'm a fan of science.
Fair warning, the proceedings
tend to get repetitive,
what with people
being reluctant
to learn from past mistakes.
Gets... repetitive.
[pen buzzing]
Ah, fuck!
[man screaming]
[screaming continues]
[traffic sounds]
[sighing]
[distant clattering]
What?
I heard screaming,
is everything okay?
Everything's fine.
[motor revving]
[sighing]
[knocking at door]
Came to say thanks for being
my knight in shining armor
and whatnot.
Well, you said you were fine.
Yeah, but you didn't know that.
Here.
Got this.
I didn't realize
they rented out your unit.
Nah, I'm just passing through.
My aunt owns the building,
she lets me
crash here sometimes.
They never rent that one out
ever since the stabbing.
Pretty fucked, right?
She says she's superstitious.
Personally, I think
she's just too cheap
to shampoo the carpets.
Edwin.
Uh, Terry.
Still up, huh? Light sleeper?
Yeah, same,
most smart people are.
Yeah, got a lot buzzing around.
Anyway, just wanted to say,
thanks for being a decent cat,
not that I know you, but, uh...
I get a feeling sometimes.
So... tell me about you,
what's your deal?
My deal?
Yeah, tell me something.
Oh, uh, I-- I don't know.
You don't know?
I'm not sure, I'm sorry.
I took a couple of
sleeping pills
before you got here, and
I'm afraid I'm a little groggy.
Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess I'll
just get out of your hair then.
I'm sorry.
Nobody in this tiny shithole
talks to anybody.
I'm sorry, that's not--
that's not--
No, I get it. You're groggy.
[sighing]
[solemn music]
[gentle retro music]
[Rita] Some people pay more
for their units than others.
It's how buildings work.
I could tell within
a minute of meeting him,
he'd be willing to pay more
without complaining.
And I was right.
Point being, he's not a man
I'd choose to socialize with.
But he's necessary
to the ecosystem.
[Edwin grunting]
[grunting continues]
[Loyd] Just a minute!
Oh, will you be needing
a shampoo?
Actually, uh,
that's not why I'm here.
Um, I came for--
Body hair removal?
Come on, show me how
much you're working with.
Um, not that either.
Uh, house sitting?
Uh, maybe I've misunderstood.
Oh, the other thing.
Well, why didn't you say so?
Good, it's been a while.
Is it infidelity?
I really just came to
inquire about prices, all that.
Um, [clearing throat] maybe...
set up a time to chat?
Well, it's best to
grab me while you got me.
It's a sliding scale,
we could work something out.
Come on, sit down.
Do you do a lot of
private investigating?
Sure.
Do you use the no-name stuff,
if you don't mind me asking?
-I'm sorry?
-[chuckling]
That's not the most convincing
stuff on the market.
No offense, it's just that
when it comes to hair color,
it's best to splurge
or go au naturel.
Come on, come on, sit down.
I'll give you the once-over
on the house.
[sighing]
Come on, sit down.
That'll give us a chance to
really delve into
whatever it is that is
turning you gray so young
in the first place.
You need me to locate him,
in the picture over there?
I need you to locate his son.
[mysterious retro music]
I see her making
a full recovery.
Give her love.
Bask her in positive energy.
And, um...
Light a white candle.
Okay.
But, um...
The thing is...
I don't have a dog with cancer.
And I've actually been
recording this whole thing.
So, no dog?
No dog.
Well, it seems
that time's escaped us.
The parlor's closed.
Anything you want
to say to my followers?
I don't like being lied to
in a place of spiritual worship.
That makes two of us.
I don't like your demeanor.
Okay.
I don't like your tonality.
My what?
Your verbal tonality.
You be careful, they don't like
being questioned.
Powers that be don't like
what you're doing.
[bells on door ringing]
Yet.
[sign buzzing]
[Rita] Niagara Falls.
A higher ratio of human being
to wax figures
you'd be hard-pressed to find
anywhere on Earth, I bet.
And the all-you-can-eat
buffets?
Hope you like crab meat.
Not the wedding capital of
the world, that's Vegas.
And not technically one of
the Seven Wonders, but almost.
This place is
almost a lot of things.
Like Brigit Gallow.
Her life is almost interesting.
[harrumphing]
Wait 'til you get
a load of this one.
Mediocre cold reader
with a temper.
I don't like being lied to
in a place of spiritual
worship.
That makes two of us.
I don't like your demeanor.
Okay.
Your tonality.
My what?
Your verbal tonality.
Archangel Sandalphon comes in.
Now he is the only archangel,
along with his twin,
Metatron,
who was once a mortal human.
And this
brings us back to the--
And the sex trafficking ring
is being run
out of the back of, get this,
a chain of taco trucks
in Des Moines.
And if the taco truck owners
have nothing to hide,
then why'd they make their
Instagram accounts private?
All of them, all of a sudden.
Shit.
Don't look.
I think that lady sits
on my wife's board.
Don't look.
Brigit.
[knocking]
...to the gap
between where we are
and where we want to be.
We will bridge it.
Can you see yourself
bridge it?
I can see you bridge it.
I can see you, Brigit.
[eerie music]
And they may say,
send them to the gallows.
I can see you, Brigit.
Gallows.
But you and I are made
of better stuff than that.
The quality of mercy
is not strained.
And you and I must practice
the discipline it brings us.
Um, we're here about unit 12?
We emailed earlier.
Is this a good time?
Sure. Now's good.
Come with me.
[door creaking closed]
Um, what about bugs?
Do you get bed bugs?
Honestly, all the time.
What?
They're not as bad as people
say, and we have the powder.
Oh, that's no good.
No, it's not, but that's life.
All buildings have them.
At least you'll have
an honest super.
Not all buildings have those.
This is unacceptable.
The good people who live here
might disagree with you.
We're leaving.
Um, is it a big ordeal,
getting rid of the bugs, I mean?
-Maureen.
-Oh, relax.
Um...
[camera clicking]
[Rita]
I have a soft spot
for that one.
But then, my favorite nephew
is a compulsive liar, too.
[sighing]
Here, I'll get you a refill.
[breathing deeply]
[knocking]
[heavy knocking]
Uh, hello?
I hate to bother you,
and I don't have an appointment.
Is that okay?
It's not.
This isn't a nail salon.
No, I'm very well aware
of what this is.
Of who you are, Miss Marlow.
I've waited
a long time to meet you.
Can't tell you how many times
I've passed by your office,
on my way to work,
or, uh, what force, exactly,
compelled me to finally
walk up those stairs
and introduce myself today,
but I do hope you'll indulge me.
My name is Calvin Carmichael,
and I have an interest
in the dramatic arts.
You want to act?
That's right.
Look, now's not the time.
Okay, then.
Wait.
You have any experience?
-Not professional.
-Shh!
Only in private.
In private?
I just mean at home. Alone.
Sometimes I'll
talk along with the TV.
I tape my shows,
and I learn all the words,
and I recite
the dialogue over top.
That's it?
One time,
I posed nude for an art class.
Not sure if that counts.
It doesn't.
Look, this isn't the time.
I understand.
I just came
to speak it out loud.
Wait.
My private line.
Well, uh, thank you, I...
-I, I just--
-Now go.
[crickets chirping]
I like the way you talk.
Don't do that.
Do what?
Fetishize my accent like that.
Why not?
I just mean if
I were born someplace else,
I wouldn't talk like this,
but I'd still be me.
Yeah, but you weren't
born someplace else.
But I could have been.
That doesn't even make sense.
Never mind.
[motor revving]
I like that sound.
It's relaxing.
You realize
they're all horny, right?
That's not true.
Sure it is.
You're saying
all these crickets
are trying to get laid
at the same time?
Why else do you think they're
making that noise, conversation?
Where do you get this stuff?
Here.
-Why do crickets make noise?
-Who cares?
-Give me that.
-No way.
-Give me that.
-Hey, give me that.
Go on, get it. Get it.
[soft music]
[splashing sound]
[faint chatter]
[laughter] Come on, come on.
-Coming! One shake.
-You're already wet.
-I'm not-- well, like half.
-Come on, get in!
-No, stop!
-Get in here!
Come on!
-Yes! Yeah.
-[gasping]
[water sloshing]
[door closing]
[Rita] Terry works for
the second-least profitable
souvenir store in
all of Niagara Falls.
But then,
souvenir stores in general
are going out of style.
People don't like
to reminisce anymore, I guess.
Makes you wonder
what'll come of
all those snow globes
and fridge magnets.
Melted down, I suppose?
Turned into souvenirs
for someplace else.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
Don't think I don't know
that you're in there.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
[door opening]
Edwin, I know you're in there.
Don't think I don't know
you're in there.
[Edwin] Don't answer.
-[knocking]
-Don't answer.
Edwin, I know you're in there.
What are you--
What are you doing?
Is he in there?
Who?
It's just me.
If you happen to see my nephew,
can you tell him
to call me on my cell?
Wow, it's the second time
you saved my ass.
If I didn't owe you before--
What's going on?
Yeah, I guess my aunt's feeling
a little less hospitable
this time around.
I mean it, okay?
[sighing]
[nervous chuckle]
[coin clinking]
[machine whirring]
Renata Wallace from
the corner unit steals cats.
I'm serious.
If you ever get a cat,
do not let it
near Renata Wallace.
I'm allergic.
Okay. I got one.
You know Shiny Shoes
across the way there?
His name's Lenny, Lenny Lepper.
You ever notice he always has
a pair of shoes
drying on his windowsill?
You will now.
See, he's always polishing them,
so the way I see it,
it's like a compulsion,
you know?
[Edwin]
It started a long time ago.
Without getting into all
the gory details,
let's just say
one time in college,
he helped a friend get out
of a messy situation,
and he ended up with so much
blood on his shoes,
that the only thing that
calms his nerves
is polishing them,
over and over again.
Like one of those
Zen gardens, you know?
Okay, your turn.
Oh, okay, okay,
get a load of this one.
Your turn.
Oh, uh, I-- I don't know.
Sure you do.
First you gotta give her a name.
Um... Veronica.
Okay, Veronica what?
Uh, Veronica... Braille.
Okay. What's her secret?
[Terry] She has a friend
that no one can know about.
A... sugar glider,
[squeaking]
named Ginger.
Illegal here, so she smuggled
her across the border,
strapped to
the inside of her bra,
-for the company.
-Mmm.
Almost gave it away with its,
uh, incessant squeaking.
Okay, you're
seriously good at this.
-Well.
-No, really.
Hmm.
Okay, you see the lady
in the chair, the super?
When she thinks no one's
looking, she bites off a nail,
sticks it between her teeth,
and sniffs it
because she likes the smell.
And that one happens
to be true, I've seen it.
See, I think
she spends her days...
doing what we're doing
right now.
Just looking at all of us,
and guessing our secrets.
Hmm.
Good one.
[eerie music]
[exhaling]
Good, keep those arms straight.
Yep, looking good, guys.
[man outside] Shut up!
[door opening]
Where is everyone?
Oh, it's just us.
It's hard to last in this world.
Uh, debunking.
It's hard to find people
who care enough.
Yeah, but you care, right?
I mean, we care.
This is the exact same recording
device that James Randi
used to intercept
Peter Popoff's earpiece in 1986.
I found it online,
wasn't too expensive,
and I was thinking
that maybe we could use it
to take down Walter Pryce
once and for all...
Maybe I'm getting cynical.
But lately,
I find myself wondering
if changing people's minds
is even really possible.
Well, we can try.
Come on.
I-- I don't think
I'm your guy for this, Bridge.
Oh, come on man.
I'm sorry.
This was a nice idea.
I-- I wish you luck.
[sighing]
[melancholic music]
[faint chatter]
[dealer] Sir?
So the real question is,
whose algorithm
is making these videos
go viral in the first place?
I mean,
who wants us to see them?
Is it the social media sites?
Is it the search engines?
Because you and I both know,
there's no such thing
as a viral video anymore--
You're talking really fast.
I am?
Yeah, and loud.
I try to talk slowly,
but it just doesn't work.
[sighing]
I think my wife, um, suspects
something, I'm not sure.
It's just a feeling I get.
Maybe just for now,
you and I,
we should hit the pause button
for a bit.
Not see each other as much.
-Shit.
-I know. It sucks, but...
No, no, it's not that.
Shit.
What?
I think he might be onto me.
Who?
Walter Pryce.
Who?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
fuck, yeah.
Sorry. Um.... onto you?
I wasn't going to say anything
until I was sure, but...
he's been sending me, like,
coded messages
through his videos.
Okay.
I realize how this sounds.
Okay, like what?
What-- what kind of messages?
Well, at first
it was little things
that I could brush off,
but lately he's getting bolder.
He said my name first and last,
right there in the video.
And now this thing
with your wife.
Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
You think he's talking
to my wife?
Yeah, if someone tipped her off.
The timing's suspicious.
It's concerning.
Yeah, concerning, right.
And my debunkers group
basically quit on me,
days before his show.
And I'm not saying that,
like, he got to them somehow,
-but I can't be sure he didn't.
-Look, Bridge, it's...
There are few things that men
like Walter Pryce won't do
to protect their empires
from perceived threats.
You know that.
Brigit, your debunkers group
disbanded because
it's a lost cause.
And, I mean, you're telling me
this guy's got nothing
better to do than spy on you
and, what, talk to my wife?
I mean,
I can't tell if you're
kidding with me right now.
Yeah, hard to tell.
Am I kidding?
Am I not?
Either way,
I think you're right.
Yeah. I do.
I think we should...
hit the pause button
for a little bit.
Bridge, wait,
hold on a second. Bridge.
Bridge, sit down.
Br... Bridge.
You know, lately people
have been asking me, like,
why I post so much
about Walter Pryce.
And like, why do we hate
any of the things we hate?
Well, maybe it's the time
he told a grieving couple,
on live TV,
that their missing daughter
would return home safely,
a week before
police discovered her body.
Or maybe it's that when he lies,
so many people listen.
But... if I'm being honest,
which, like,
I guess is the point
of all of this, um,
if I'm being honest...
oof, I...
I hate him
for reasons I understand,
and some I never will.
[motorcycle revving]
[coins clinking]
[forehead squeaking on glass]
[machine whirring]
Psst! Hey. Hey.
I found you.
Your office was closed.
Um, is the unit still available?
If so, I'd like to
take it just for myself.
And my husband can't know.
Well, not yet, anyway.
Um, I'm not
asking you to lie for me.
I wouldn't do that.
But I put a little extra
in there for discretion,
if that's okay,
in case he, uh, snoops around.
So, um, is it?
Is it still available?
Come back in the morning.
It's after hours.
Please.
He thinks I'm at bingo.
I can put up with the bugs.
After 22 years with him,
I can put up with some bugs.
You can move in on the first.
No sooner.
Thank you.
And final verdict.
8 minutes 13 for a nice,
runny yolk.
8 minutes 17 for a denser yolk,
which I prefer.
Um, and if a thick yolk
is what you're after,
a full 9 minutes
minus 2 seconds
ought to do the trick.
This applies to large eggs.
Oh, um, you can
have this if you want.
That's fine.
That's fine,
yes, you'd like me to leave it,
or that's fine,
no, you don't need it.
I'll take it unless
you need to keep it,
in which case
that's also very fine.
Well, um, personal taste
being what it is, per--
perhaps you'd be better off
running your own experiments.
Terry, I-- I'm sorry.
I'm just a little distracted.
Oh, that's fine.
So am I.
[sighing]
[crunching sound]
Will you look at that?
I was 10 cents short
for a bag of chips.
Exactly 10 cents.
And I don't get paid
till tomorrow.
And I'm hungry and tired
and I just want my chips.
And then I look down,
and right there by
the vending machine is a dime.
And I thought, man,
I must have
a guardian angel
looking out for me.
The laziest-ass-phoning-it-in
guardian angel in all of heaven.
Of course,
if guardian angels were real,
you would have found
a lot more than a dime.
Exactly.
[chuckling]
[clattering]
Just a minute.
Okay.
Yeah, I-- I really
appreciate your time, you know.
It's-- it's not every day
that I get to pick the brain
of someone as
accomplished as yourself.
Yeah, well, you must have
caught me in a good mood.
[music playing on TV]
[faint dialogue from TV]
What's this?
Dad, this is Marissa.
What?
You didn't tell me anything.
I wasn't expecting anyone.
What is this?
A date?
No, Dad,
it's a business meeting.
This is the agent
I told you about.
So you're real?
Unless this is some sort of
paid escort situation.
Oh, my-- Dad.
Just kidding.
I'm sorry.
Well, he didn't say anything,
or I'd have dressed.
-That's fine.
-Come on, my room's this way.
Your son has something.
He sure does.
He has a dad who still pays
his cell phone bills.
-Dad.
-So if it's money
you're after,
I'm afraid this well is dry.
I'm so sorry about him.
No, it's fine.
We all have relatives.
Nice, uh, stuff.
Please don't touch that.
Oh. Sorry.
This is, um...
it's just temporary.
Yeah.
We've all been in,
um, temporary situations.
Look, I'll be honest.
Most of the work around here
is promotional brochures
and casino acts.
-Can you sing?
-No.
I can't say that
I'm particularly musical.
Oh, that's okay. We'll focus
on the brochure work.
And, you know, we do get
the occasional
movie of the week.
Those pay pretty good.
[father] Calvin?
Calvin?
If you ignore him,
it usually stops.
Calvin!
One second.
Why don't you come
when I call you?
This thing is screwing up again.
Well, Dad, I--
-Press--
-I have to take this. Sorry.
She has an important call.
Well, can I drive you home?
-It's the least I can do--
-I'll cab it. Really.
She's not interested, Calvin.
[Rita] I give this place
a year before it's torn down.
Developers have
been sniffing around
for a while now,
and I don't blame them.
Prime location.
They don't tell me anything,
but I give this place a year.
Torn down,
and all the memories with it.
There are other tenants I could
have chosen to cast your way,
like Rube Calamine,
who got his revenge on me
last summer for
ignoring his noise complaints.
-What's that?
-Jesus!
Trapped rats
and emptied their corpses
into the water supply.
Gotta give him credit
for ingenuity.
Or Reagan McCabe.
She runs a scam out
of her unit,
hires strangers off
the internet
to clean her apartment,
accuses them of breaking
a prized possession,
and refuses to pay them.
What's this?
I don't know.
A dog?
You broke it.
Take an acting class.
It's worth more
than you'll ever know.
Or Rosemarie...
Rosemarie...
Ugh, her last name eludes.
Anyway, she's an avid reader.
Frequently donates
her books to the laundry room,
with surreptitiously
placed Polaroids
of her privates
tucked between pages.
[camera clicking, whirring]
But it's too late for that.
As is often the case in life,
we're stuck
with who we stuck with.
[ticking]
[distorted sound]
["Western Stars" by k.d. lang]
Oh, watch the blood.
Oh, Jesus.
Western stars
light up the sky
Hear the desert
wind roll by
Tonight, tonight
Western stars
can break your heart
They keep shining
when we're apart
Tonight, tonight
I watch
I wait
How long will
my heart ache tonight?
Oh, tonight
I watch
I wait
-My--
-[splattering]
[sighing]
You shouldn't trust so easy.
You don't know this guy.
I know him.
I can't believe
you're jealous of Terry.
I'm not.
He's not the one
I'm worried about.
What's that mean?
Nothing.
You know
that Joni Mitchell lyric?
"I'm frightened by the devil,
"but drawn
to those ones that ain't."
Every time I hear that,
I think of you and me.
That's cute.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
Stop it. Stop it.
[car rumbling]
-[door closing]
-[Loyd sighing]
Oh, hey there.
I got a whole cart full
of nail polish about to expire.
How's that for a slow year?
Found your guy, though.
I have to admit, it was really
fun getting back into the game.
You know, it kind of
made me hungry for more cases.
I, uh, I printed off
some pictures
from social media of your guy,
so, uh, my printer's
kind of running low on ink.
I hope that's not a problem.
No, I-- I'm not ready.
I'm sorry.
I, uh...
I-- I need more time.
Okay.
Oh, I find it so relaxing,
painting nails.
You know,
sometimes I think
that's the only thing
that calms me down.
It's like when
autistic people lie on horses.
Of course,
it might be the fumes, too.
You know, that is a real thing.
Uh, are--
Are you sure this is his son?
Sure as rain.
Oh, and I even
found your buddy, too.
The one that was in
the picture with you.
I know you didn't ask me to,
but it-- it's there.
It's in the back.
Turns out he never actually
put the kid up for adoption.
They look like
a real happy family to me.
Wouldn't mind
being a part of it.
This isn't him.
That's not how
you spell his last name.
That's the name you gave me.
Well, that's
not how it's spelled.
But that's the name you gave me.
No, it isn't.
Fine, but in my defense,
you know,
you do not have
the tidiest penmanship.
Wait, wait.
If there is
some kind of mistake,
I can make it right, okay?
I will go out there,
and I will look
for your friend using
the correct spelling.
I would like my money back.
Oh, you really
don't want to do that.
That is going to stick.
Where is my money?
Are you sure you really
want to go through with
this whole refund thing?
Oh, I'm sure.
Okay, it's just
that I-- I just had
new shingles
put on the roof, and I...
Hey, would
you be open to bartering?
I could trade you some
haircuts and dye jobs.
Wha--
All right, well, I'll-- I'll be
here if you change your mind.
[grunting]
[eerie music]
Amongst the mist
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
Amongst the mists
and fiercest frosts.
[knocking]
[birds chirping]
[applause]
[audience whistling]
The truth!
Beneath the veneer...
beneath the temporary fables,
we write ourselves.
All the while knowing
they will only evaporate,
into dust,
and blow away with the wind.
But...
the canvas...
onto which we paint our stories,
that is the only truth!
The underlying
consciousness itself.
[applause]
[gentle music]
Well, there's a thing
you don't see on the daily.
[unsettling music]
[car door opening, closing]
[engine whirring]
[slot machine playing tune]
What are you doing here?
Come on, Bridge,
we talked about this.
You gotta text first.
Cameras can't see us here.
[sighing]
It's good to see you.
You miss me?
Yeah, I missed you too.
Look, Bridge, been doing
some, uh, soul searching.
I want us to be honest. 100%.
Not like me and my wife, okay?
I lied.
She doesn't suspect anything.
I-- I made it up because,
I don't know,
I guess I was scared of
getting too close or something.
I mean, what the fuck is that?
I don't want
to be like that anymore.
I want--
I'm-- I'm ready.
Ready to do this right
with you, okay?
What, are you mad at me?
Ah, okay.
Oh...
[exhaling, laughing]
[screaming]
Bridge, what the fuck?
Too hard?
Bridge, what the fuck?
[machines clicking]
[bell dinging]
[elevator beeping]
[lock beeping]
[knocking]
Well, hello.
Hi.
Well, well, well,
please come in.
You don't seem surprised.
Only pleasantly.
Don't be shy.
I'm not.
You seem nervous.
I'm not recording this,
in case you were wondering.
Comedian?
All right,
props are in the top drawer.
I assume the meter's running,
so choose your weapon.
Um, I think you have me
confused with someone else.
What is this?
I'm not-- I'm not,
like, uh, who you think I am.
Look, enough with
the stand-up comedy.
My name is Brigit Gallow.
Oh, congratulations.
From online?
What is this?
Who are you? Who sent you?
I'm a truth seeker.
You know me.
The debunker, eh?
Okay.
Don't pretend
that you don't know me.
You've been sending me
coded messages
through your videos
for some time,
and I want you to know that
I've heard them,
loud and clear,
and I'm not backing down.
Coded messages? Oh.
Uh, don't pretend
that you don't know me.
Oh, come now.
I'm not that scary, am I?
Boogie-woogie-woogie.
Oh, let me guess.
You have under 100 subscribers.
You know the debunking
literary market is dead, but...
your delusions of grandeur
have you convinced
that you'll revive it.
You worship at
the altar of, uh, James Randi.
No, I don't know you,
or your work,
but I've seen you
a thousand times.
Okay. You're a talented reader.
I've always said that about you.
Well, another thing
your tribe has in common
is loneliness,
and you're dishonest.
With yourselves,
and the ones you love.
For example, you, uh, convinced
yourself that your work matters,
matters so much
that I was threatening you,
sending you coded messages.
Seek this truth.
You are already silent to me.
You're even more charming
in person.
Well, all that paranoia
you're directing toward me
is no doubt the misplaced guilt
you feel for your own lies.
You don't know me.
And this type of superficial
pseudo-psychology might appeal
to the barely literate people
that buy your books, but...
I know you, inside and out.
What you want is what I have.
An audience who cares.
You feel so insignificant
that you attack
people who are in positions
of power, out of jealousy.
But you know you'd
give your life tomorrow
for a room of people
who believe your dogma.
You're lying again.
But I guess that's what you do.
Are you recording this?
Hmm.
I said no.
Are you recording this?
Maybe.
Look, if you're
recording this whole--
[knocking]
I-- get back here.
Wait, there's two of you?
Um, actually,
I was just leaving.
What's this, huh?
There's someone else?
What?
I shouldn't be surprised.
They do it with you,
they'll do it to you, huh?
He didn't know who I was.
-Who?
-Walter Pryce.
Who?
Um, doesn't matter.
But yeah, there's someone else.
[gasping]
[sniffling]
Thanks for this.
He's always
getting into trouble.
He was jealous of some guys
who were clearly straight.
It's his way
of showing he cares.
There's gotta be other ways.
Well...
He told me to run.
Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
Uh... [stammering]
He's fine.
-Anyway, I should go.
-Oh no, please. Uh--
I can make you some tea, or...
No, you've been kind enough.
I insist. Uh...
How are things
between the two of you?
Life with Edwin
must be, um, eventful.
Oh, it's eventful, all right.
Yes, I-- I'm sure it is.
But you, you're happy.
Yeah.
Hm. That's all that matters.
Yeah.
You make a handsome pair.
Thank you.
Anyway, I should go
and see if he's back.
Oh, I've made you uncomfortable.
What? No.
No, I have.
-I've pried.
-No.
Yes, I've pried.
Poor thing.
No, I just don't want
to overstay my welcome.
Or, you've sensed my discomfort,
and that's
what's turned you away.
I'm sorry?
I'm afraid you've put me
in a very difficult position.
The both of you.
I didn't want to be
thrust in the middle of this,
but here I am,
and here you are in my home,
and Edwin...
uh, he hasn't been
completely honest with you.
I-- I don't think.
He... seduced me.
Did you know?
We've been intimate,
more than once.
I'm sorry.
I should go.
I am terribly sorry.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
have heard it from you.
Of course not.
I mean, it's the lying
that really curdles my cream.
[gentle music]
It's now?
Yeah.
[clearing throat]
I dreamt about you again, Eve.
What kind of dream?
Well, that's the problem,
I don't remember.
But, if you'll let me
spend some time with you,
maybe it'll trigger something.
You sure know how to talk.
I'm sorry,
can we try that again?
Okay, first of all, you can't
just stop like that, okay?
I say stop.
-Okay, I'm sorry. I just--
-Let's go again.
I dreamt about you again, Eva.
What kind of dream?
Well, that's the problem,
I don't...
remember.
But, I figure if we could
spend some time...
time together.
You sure know how to talk.
[Calvin breathing deeply]
-You okay?
-I'm sorry.
I don't know what's going on.
It's a panic attack,
no big deal.
I've--
I've never had this before.
Oh, my god.
I get them all the time,
it's normal.
Most people do.
[inhaling]
[Calvin clearing throat]
I want to thank you
for your time,
but I-- I really should be off.
-What?
-I can do it in private, yeah.
But with the camera, the lights,
it's all just a bit too much.
It's a floor lamp.
I didn't mean
to waste your time.
Yeah, well, you did.
You think I'd do this
for just anybody?
No, I'm sure you don't.
That's right, I don't.
Look, you came
all this way here,
let's just film something.
I can't get you work
if we don't film something.
I know,
but I'm just, I'm not good
at talking
with people watching me.
Yeah, well, we can work on that.
And you're not really
Marissa Marlow, are you?
Excuse me?
Okay, obviously not.
Who cares?
That's not the point.
Look, yeah,
I am a compulsive liar.
That or pathological,
but I'm-- I'm pretty sure
it's compulsive,
which is the better one.
I'm sorry to hear.
No, don't be.
I like it.
Everyone's got something.
And I don't know about you,
but I'm ready for this.
And I can make it happen for us.
So my dad was right.
This is some type of scam.
What?
No, look, I'm trying
to hand you an opportunity here.
Yeah, yeah, I think I've had
enough excitement for a while.
[door opening, closing]
[motor revving]
[sighing]
There she is.
Shit.
This lady would like
her money back.
What? Who is this?
Have you been
posing as an employee
of this establishment?
Why would anyone do that?
She's lying again.
I want my money back.
Riley, come on.
[door opening]
Mind the volume.
Look, I don't know
what all this is,
but some of us have work.
Where are you going?
Get a life.
Come back here.
Sorry I'm late.
I hear you've been trying
your hand at impersonation.
You should have told me.
I would have
booked you at the casino.
Did that guy come in here?
Don't listen to him.
He's an ex.
Been spreading lies all around.
Riley, please.
I know bad acting when I see it.
I'm afraid
that's all I got in me.
I'm tired.
I'm... tired.
Not sure how it'll all end,
but, spoiler alert,
not much'll change.
Hope you got what you came for.
Hope you scratched an itch.
[water running]
[loud bang]
[motor running]
-[door opening]
-Hi.
[grunting, panting]
Tell me something,
and be honest.
Do you think I'm all sizzle
and no sausage?
Oh.
[Terry] No, of course not.
Of course not, yeah.
Some people, right?
Are you okay?
I don't think so.
You're not sure?
Well, who knows? Everyone says
they're fine when they're not,
so I want to
pay you the courtesy
of thinking it over before
I answer, if that's okay, Terry.
[Terry] Well, y-yes, of course.
My aunt changed the locks,
so I picked it,
which I'm not proud of.
And Lucas and I broke up.
Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's for the best.
He gets jealous.
He made up a story
about you, actually.
Did he come here?
[Terry] Who, Lucas?
No, of course not.
Yeah, exactly.
Let's play the game.
Oh, now?
Yeah, come on.
Now might not be the best time.
Come on!
Edwin, it's late.
Fine. I'll go.
Wait, wait, wait.
[sighing]
There's something
I need to tell you.
There's something I need to say
that's been weighing on me.
Well, I'm all ears here, Terry.
The moment I saw you,
you reminded me so much
of someone I once knew.
The last time I saw this man,
he was about to become a father.
It was a rather unexpected
piece of news, to say the least.
He made it very clear
that he never wanted
to see me again.
Hm. Let's just put it that way.
Last I heard,
they had decided to
put their son up for adoption,
and that was...
25 years ago.
As absurd as it may sound,
I had convinced myself that...
you might be his son,
and all these years later,
fate had somehow
brought you to my doorstep.
I hired a private detective,
to see if there was
any truth to my theory.
I spent $350 that I don't have,
to prove something
that I never really
believed in the first place.
That's pretty fucked.
I-- I know. I'm sorry.
Well, I'm not adopted,
sorry to disappoint you.
I know you're not.
I-- I never really
believed it was you.
That's the point.
I mean--
Isn't it funny what
I managed to convince myself of?
So wait,
the only reason you liked me
is because I remind you of
some guy you used to know?
No, of course not.
Well, he better be good-looking,
is all I gotta say.
Well, was he?
Yes.
How good-looking?
Very.
This is what
you think I look like?
Well, the-- the picture
doesn't do him justice.
I mean, he was
really quite breathtaking.
Well, then I can
understand the confusion.
You said you were
in love with this guy?
Something
along those lines, yes.
The key is communication, okay?
If something
feels good, tell me.
If something
doesn't feel good, tell me.
I'm not a mind reader over here.
Stop talking, okay?
[sighing]
Are your eyes open?
Yes, they damn well are.
Jesus, you scared
the shit out of me.
You're stealing my money.
No, will you keep it down?
The neighbors!
Yes, you are.
You're taking my money.
That's for the massage, okay?
I'm sorry.
You--
You said that was on the house.
-No.
-Yes, yes, you did.
Well, I changed my mind, okay?
That's my right.
Jesus, I thought you'd
be down to help me out,
but don't worry, I'll just
be broke forever and die broke.
Well, why didn't you just ask?
I couldn't sleep. I was bored.
So you're looking through
my wallet to pass the time.
I feel awkward
asking for money, okay?
I'm broke here.
Never mind.
Well, then take it.
Take whatever's in there.
-Go back to sleep.
-Stop telling me what to do.
Shh!
I should go. I can't sleep.
Have to-- Please, stay.
I-- I'm sorry.
Of course I want to help.
How much do you need?
It's just,
I can't always sleep
when I'm sharing a bed
with someone.
But thanks for this.
[loud bang]
No, wait!
[motor revving]
[footsteps approaching]
[water dripping]
[loud bang]
[motor revving]
[sighing]
[Pryce]
And you're dishonest.
With yourselves,
and the ones you love.
[Brigit] Don't pretend
that you don't know me.
You've been
sending me coded messages
through your videos
for some time.
[sighing]
Hello, this one's
gonna be a little different.
This one is a goodbye.
I created this channel
as a forum for honesty.
Because I was upset at the way
the Walter Pryces of the world
took advantage of people,
and I was also annoyed at people
for being so willing
to believe him.
To see patterns
where none exist.
To play connect the dots
and string together
unrelated events into convenient
stories in their minds.
But... anyways, lately I've
come to realize that
maybe I'm not as equipped
for this job as I thought.
Maybe one of you will succeed
where I have failed.
I know that there aren't
many of you watching.
I know that.
But the fact that there
are any at all,
to keep me company...
it's meant the world to me.
-So...
-[knocking]
[knocking continues]
Go away!
Well.
Hello.
I hope you're well.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, yes.
He's watching.
You know who else?
Archangel Michael.
He casts a judgmental eye.
What are you doing here?
Make yourself right
with the powers that be.
Remove the video.
That's not happening.
I'm a truth seeker.
I'm a conduit for the divine.
You lie to me,
then you lie to them.
I'm calling the cops.
Oh Christ, no, no, no. Christ.
Christ.
Do you mind if-- if I...
Okay?
I'm tired.
I'm tired of running.
There's many ways
I could proceed.
I... got many
attacks I could take.
I just don't know which one
would be most effective.
Probably none of them.
You care about the truth?
I'll tell you the truth.
I never expected to end up
in goddamn Niagara Falls,
but here I am.
Here we all are.
And I could tell you my story,
but I'm doubtful
you'd believe me.
You're right, I wouldn't.
Well, that's a shame,
because it's a colorful one.
I don't give a shit
about tarot cards.
My dream
would be a wax sculptor.
Really, yeah.
But it's a--
it's a dying art form.
You need to leave.
You listen to me.
I've shed many skins.
I've had many different names.
And what you need to know
is that what you have...
I prize my anonymity.
And you have compromised it.
I don't care.
You look a little nervous.
Like a bird
that's caught indoors.
Tell me something.
Are you always like this?
You know, jittery birds. Easy.
A little swipe of the broom,
and they're gone.
You don't make me nervous.
What's your name?
Brigit.
Hi, Brigit.
I, I, uh...
I apologize for the cane,
and-- and-- I should never
have swung it at you.
You're right.
You shouldn't have.
It's not like I wasn't provoked.
Oh. You know, threats...
can reveal our core
and what it's comprised of.
So I'm prepared.
I'm prepared to do whatever
it takes to protect my, uh...
my anonymity.
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you.
Fuck you, bitch!
Um... um...
-Hello? Um...
-Jesus!
-Um...
-Fuck.
We have a man with finger...
Blown-off fingers.
[man groaning]
Oh, fuck.
[groaning]
Ah, oh fuck.
Oh, fuck!
[man panting]
[man groaning]
Burton Carmel had spent
a life outrunning the law,
leaving in his path a string
of lucrative pyramid schemes,
an email money scam,
and a brief stint bookkeeping
for the leader of
a high-profile sex cult
you may have heard about
on a podcast.
He didn't die at
Cloudy Falls that night.
Not in any traditional sense.
Wasn't his time.
But his false identity did.
Hard to keep one's
legal name a secret
in the hospital while
getting one's hands sutured.
Point being,
Brigit finally caught a fraud.
I'll miss the smell here,
when it's gone.
I'll even miss the sounds
that wake me up at night.
This little episode of
the fortune teller
who bled out on the terrace,
it spawned,
as you can imagine,
its share of stories.
Some of which leaned further
into reality than others.
Some of which improved
on what actually happened,
in terms of intrigue.
And others of which failed
to capture the drama of it all.
But in any case,
it became another story.
Another piece of
Cloudy Falls' legacy.
[birds chirping]
[creaking]
[Edwin grunting]
[squeaking]
Oh. Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you so much.
Gotta keep the energy flowing.
Visiting 18 towns in 10 days.
It's a living.
18 towns, 10 days,
all with funny names.
That's a job.
It is, if you're
writing a book about them.
Been all the way from Accident,
Maryland, to Fleatown, Ohio.
With stops in Bacon, Georgia,
and Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Sounds like a short book.
Well, I chat with
the locals about
what it feels like to live
in Peculiar, Missouri.
Hell, Michigan.
Plus, I write a review
on the local eateries.
Hotels, motels.
There's
a travel guide component--
Okay, I get the gist.
Dinosaur, Colorado.
And then there
are the salty ones.
Muff, Ireland.
Twatt, Orkney.
Yep.
Every one of us has a calling.
And yours is writing a book
about towns with shitty names.
How's that feel?
Well, the funny part's
how the idea reached me.
There's a story.
I had recently been laid off.
I was going through a divorce,
and to top it off,
my sister fell off a horse.
And while driving to go
and see her in the hospital,
I got a flat
in Nothing, Arizona.
Nothing.
And it just hit me.
Divine guidance.
Every one of us has a calling.
A divinely ordained purpose.
Amen.
[change jingling]
Next stop,
Whynot, North Carolina.
Happy trails.
You say
your next stop's Whynot?
Take me with you,
and I'll pay for gas.
Oh.
I-- I'm afraid I travel alone.
You sure?
I'm a hell of a navigator.
It's just,
that's where I'm from.
I was born there.
Can you believe it?
If this isn't
a divine calling all over again,
I don't know what is.
I'm terribly sorry.
All right. Had to try.
Keep an eye
out for that book of yours.
Hey.
You thought
of a name for it yet?
Not yet.
I figure I'll know it
when I hear it.
How about...
"There Are No Accidents,
Except in Maryland."
[Rita]
Riley made it as
far as Missouri
before getting caught
trying to steal his car
after slipping sleeping pills
into his coffee.
[Riley] That's not true.
I got out by choice
in Illinois.
The man wouldn't shut up.
But leaving Niagara Falls
was the best choice
I've made in a long time.
My only regret is
not leaving sooner.
Kind of wish I'd been evicted
from that dump a long time ago.
[sighing]
[pen buzzing]
[shouting]
[grunting]
[faint buzzing, groaning]
[door opening]
[Rita]
Terry never saw Edwin again.
Doesn't think
about him much, either.
Good at compartmentalizing
things, I guess.
Male brain.
[Terry]
Well, that's not true.
I think about him all the time.
His late-night visits.
The time
we were finally intimate.
Only it feels like
something that happened
in someone else's life.
Like something I saw on TV,
or overheard through a wall.
I did see him again.
But I thought it best
not to say anything.
[sandals squeaking]
Doctor says it's good
for the arthritis.
I say, what's the point
of living on the ground level
if I have to walk up and down
the stairs seven times a day?
Brigit felt a void.
Accidentally exposing
a fraud left her with
no sense of the satisfaction
she had so long searched for.
No sense of personal reward.
Without debunking
to give her life meaning,
she found herself,
for the first time,
turning to the power of prayer.
[Brigit] That's a lie.
I definitely don't pray.
[wires clattering]
I guess I do miss
debunking from time to time.
The sense of purpose
that came along with it.
The nerves and the thrill
of secretly recording
a reading.
But most of the time,
I just feel relieved.
Like it's someone else's
puzzle to solve.
Like it's hard to remember
why it felt so important in
the first place.
[Rita] You can't go back in time
and change the past.
Undo the mistakes
that clutter our lives.
But if I could,
I would probably pick
different tenants to show you.
Individuals with, shall we say,
more redemptive qualities.
Nothing we can do
about that now.
It gets repetitive.
Walking up and down the stairs.
Over and over.
Gets repetitive.
[majestic music]
[relaxed retro music]