The Legend of Jack and Diane (2023) Movie Script
It starts to rain
I feel no pain
I never thought
The silence would kill me
We waste our days
On the way
To nowhere fast
And nowhere we can be
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms
In your heart it's fine
Keep me still
But keep me running
Back to you
Back to the start again
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Why the hell didn't he wake me up?
I dunno. You just looked
so peaceful laying there.
Yeah, whatever you say.
(Dianne imitates gunshot)
You know what?
You're crazy.
Jack, I can't, all right?
I'm so late.
[Jack] Oh, too late.
(Diane laughs)
Okay, maybe just a minute.
(traffic humming)
Stanley!
This fucking thing hits
60 in three seconds.
Not exactly what I wanna hear, Parker.
What do you want me to do? Come on.
You want me to honk and
still on every traffic light?
Well, according to the
tactical driving handbook, yes.
The last crash almost killed me.
I don't get these rods outta my neck
for another three months.
A couple titanium rods
never hurt anyone, stop.
[Stanley] I've got six, Parker.
Two, six, what's the fucking difference?
Four, Parker. Do you know how to count?
Yeah. (Chuckles)
Shut up, okay?
[Stanley] Oh, fuck it.
What are you doing?
Just looking at some old pictures.
Let me see.
Look at that.
Can you believe that was us?
All right, even after the accident
where you crashed into the school bus
and ejected me through the windshield.
I was on life support for two weeks.
He never came by, he never called.
You gotta let this go, man.
You hang on to shit way too long, okay?
I mean, and also, by the way,
you weren't on life support, dude.
You were on a medically-induced coma.
There's a big fucking
difference, bro, big.
Yeah, see, you'll never understand,
because you and your father were close.
What's your father do for a living?
He's a drug lord, he's a killer,
he's a dope dealer, right?
And you become a cop.
It's like Hitler's son, you know,
converting to being a Jew.
They don't fit, bro.
Yeah, but I'm still his flesh and blood.
Flesh and blood, like those fish.
Let's get em outta here,
they stink. Come on.
See, here I am emotionally decapitated
and all you can think
about is damn dead fish.
Who's that asshole?
(upbeat country music)
(water swirls)
Perfect.
[Stanley] Ah, damn.
What the fuck?
(Parker chuckles)
Sorry, I gotta return these.
You can't return a bag
of dead fish, dumb ass.
Right there.
Oh, come on.
These fish didn't even last two days.
When he was here the other day,
I told him exactly what was gonna happen.
Didn't I?
What did I tell you?
That fish aren't meant
to be swimming around
in a small ass fish bowl.
And?
And that they would soon get depressed,
their colors would fade,
and that one day I'm gonna
find them swimming upside down.
Exactly.
Hey Stanley, you see these?
You see these?
Oh, yeah.
(muffled music)
(Parker chuckling)
[Parker] So how high
on this stuff are you?
Oh, God.
Why didn't you tell me
you got new fish, huh?
Can you recommend a couple?
I always thought you were the kinda guy
who'd maybe like own a monkey.
How about a monkey?
A monkey? They shit all over the place.
Besides, I got a fish fetish.
Recommend?
Yeah, you know, some fish
that'll live past Sunday?
They're goldfish, they're
all gonna fucking die.
Well, aren't you a
little ray of sunshine?
What's your fascination
with goldfish, anyway?
Look, I'd rather not talk about it.
Let's just say they're very relaxing.
Anyone ever tell you
that you're fucking weird?
Yeah, what do you do to relax?
I masturbate.
[Parker] Wow, I like this girl.
Everyone needs to find
their inner peace, okay?
It's called chi. It's
their energy flow, so.
[Diane] Okay, what
the fuck are you doing?
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Ooh, I don't feel a vibration.
Okay, what the hell does that mean?
It means you're spiritually dead.
Yeah, no shit.
I'm in a pet store in Seymour, Indiana.
Tell me something I don't know.
Okay, so what do you do for fun?
Besides masturbate,
not a lot of options.
In that case, I think maybe, uh,
you should call me sometime.
I'd rather grind my teeth
down the side of a chalkboard.
- [Parker] Wow.
- Besides, I have a boyfriend.
- [Parker] Really?
- Yeah, you can go fuck off.
Oh, wow. Somebody needs to get laid.
[Diane] Hey, your
friend's talking to you.
Look, this place is killing you.
The energy here is very bad.
Well, I quit jobs for
worst reasons than that.
Good luck.
All right. Can I get a couple of those?
Why are you so happy today?
I'm just tired.
Shouldn't you be at work?
Can we please talk about that later?
No, let's talk about it now.
Well, technically, yes.
Technically? What does that mean?
I quit, okay?
Are you kidding?
(door clicking)
(sighs) Okay.
Is there anything that
you wanna talk about?
I just hate it here.
Look, I know that we don't have much,
but we do the best we can.
I don't mean here, I
mean here in Seymour.
I can't pour any more ice cream cones
or sweep anymore floors or
scoop any more goldfish.
I just can't.
Why don't you come work with
me and Nana at the prison?
No offense, but I'd rather
drink a bottle of arsenic.
Me too most days.
Do you think that this
might have something to do
with something else?
I really, really don't wanna
talk about that right now.
Look at me.
I know how much it hurts.
I loved my sister to death,
and you're the spitting image of her,
and that's not something
that I can run away from.
Every time I look at you, I see her.
Your mother wrote those letters
to share herself with you.
Just you, Diane.
I think you owe it to her to read them.
I know.
All right, I'm gonna
go check on the brownies.
We'll talk about this later.
(door creaks)
God, I missed you.
[Diane] I missed you, too.
(upbeat rock music)
What's wrong?
The pet store sucked anyway.
(sighs) How does this keep happening?
Shut up, okay?
You sound just like my aunt.
I just, Diane, I've had
one job since we graduated.
You've had like 10.
I mean, you're just gonna run outta places
to work around here.
Yeah, well, maybe that's a good thing.
How is that a good thing?
Because I fucking hate it here.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Look at it outside.
Look how beautiful it is.
I mean. (Scoffs)
Plus, Uncle Josh is
gonna make me a manager
in a year or two.
You know, Uncle Josh is a criminal.
He's a 50-year-old biker
who calls himself Jesus,
for God's sake.
Are you fucking kidding me?
[Jack] It's just a nickname, okay?
Jack, open your eyes.
Why are you so angry?
Jack.
I love you, but
if there's one thing I learned
from my mother's death,
is that you can't wait around.
I mean, she wanted to get
out of this town for years,
but always found a reason to stay.
(car whooshing past)
There's more to life
than scooping goldfish
into a bag for minimum wage.
I want my life to mean something.
This is a dead end town, Jack.
Maybe I like this dead end town.
I wanna go to Hollywood
and be an actress.
[Jack] Fuck.
I wanna go to those movie
premieres with the red carpet.
Wait, where the hell is
all this coming from, Diane?
I don't know.
I mean, I've always thought about it.
And what would I do down there?
You've always loved those fantasy books.
You'd probably be an amazing writer.
A writer. That's what you think.
You think so?
Yeah, absolutely. Why not?
I don't know.
I thought that we were gonna stay here,
and then we were eventually gonna
have a family, raise kids.
Jack, I am not happy here.
Making shit money, working shit jobs.
There's so much more to life than this.
I'm really late.
(drill whirring)
(air hissing)
(engine rumbling)
Shit. (Sighs)
I thought your uncle was gonna tell him
to stop hanging out around here.
I told him how you feel.
(Jack sighs)
I gotta go to work, all right?
I love you.
(tool banging)
(door slamming)
Hey, JuJu Bean.
You look beautiful today.
(door slamming)
(tools banging)
I have one thing to say to you.
Go fuck yourself.
And why don't you go
leach off someone else
and stay the hell away from
where my boyfriend works.
Josh is just trying to help me out.
[Diane] Yeah, someone
always has to help you
out these days.
Honey, when is this gonna end?
When you die.
How can you talk to
your father like that?
My father died the
night he killed my mother.
You know that's not true, Diane.
What is it that you're afraid of?
That if it's not me, then
you won't know who to blame?
I did not kill your mother.
(tools clattering)
I loved your mother with all my heart.
I told you what happened.
They did this to shut me up.
It's not true!
You're a fucking liar.
(beer spilling)
(Mike gasping)
Fuck you.
You think I wanted to end up like this?
You think I wanted to lose
everything that I love?
[Diane] It just wasn't
part of your plan.
Plan? There was no plan!
They did this!
They did this to me!
I didn't kill anyone.
(drill whirring)
(air hissing)
Everywhere I go
(Josh groaning)
I've got these people comin' at me
No matter what I do
I can't make anybody happy
(Josh groaning)
Hey.
Oh.
Jackie.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Ugh, yeah. Yeah, what's going on?
I don't know what to do with Diane.
Diane's fucking nuts.
She wants me to move to LA with her.
- Los Angeles?
- [Jack] Yeah.
Oh, big move.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I don't know what to do.
Oh. (Chuckles)
[Jack] What?
(Josh mumbling)
I.
Are you okay? What's going on?
I'm okay.
Oh.
Oh, you remember Lacey?
- [Lacey] Hi.
All right, well hey,
I'll catch up with you
after lunch, all right?
I thought, I thought the door was locked.
Sit down.
You gotta talk to your
crazy ass girlfriend, man.
She's knocking people
over out of wheelchairs
in front of the place.
That is not a good look, Jack.
I know, I know. Look, look, look.
I tried to talk to her. You know Diane.
She doesn't listen.
Once she gets in that
crazy mode, that's it.
Well, I know crazy better than anybody,
and there's no talking sense into crazy.
So what am I supposed to do then?
I mean, look, she wants
me to move to LA with her.
It's like all,
how do I just get her to
stay here and be happy?
Stay here and be happy?
That is not gonna happen.
So you're saying there's
nothing I can do then?
There is nothing that
you can do, you know?
The best move for you
is to go to Los Angeles
with her and keep an eye on her.
I mean, a girl like Diane can get into
a lot of trouble out there.
- Yeah.
On the bright side, your
job's not going anywhere.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
All right, Jackie, get back to work.
Got things to do.
Blowjobs to maintain.
- All right.
I'll talk to you later.
[Josh] All right, good talk.
(crickets chirping)
[Diane] Can you believe
somebody had the balls
to walk up there?
Some people say it didn't happen.
Oh hell, please don't be one of those.
One of those what?
Those cynical-ass people
who hate on everything.
I'm just telling you what people say.
Yeah, well, I prefer
to believe that people
can do great things.
You know, walking on stars and such.
Yeah, I guess.
Diane, um.
Just today, about your father.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, I know, I know, I just.
Look, you can't do that on my
uncle's place anymore, okay?
I know, I just, I
can't control my temper
when I see the man.
(Jack sighs)
Let me ask you somethin'.
Is there any part of you
at all that, you know,
feels sorry for the guy at all?
Sorry for the guy?
The guy that killed my mother.
Jack, do not get me started.
I get that.
But Diane, he was found not guilty.
(Diane sighs)
He was a cop, Jack.
Cops are never found guilty.
Okay, okay. I'm just asking, okay?
What is it that you want here?
Well, I just came here
to see the stars with you.
I'm not talking about right here.
I'm talking about this town.
Why are you so afraid to leave it?
You know what?
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
You're right.
Does this mean you'll
come to California with me?
Baby, I would fly up there,
walk on those stars if
that's where you're going.
It might burn our feet a little bit.
[Diane] Jack.
(soft piano music)
It goes on and on
And I never feel alone
I can hear the night train
Rumble along
(gentle piano music)
(Diane sighs)
(objects clattering)
You can do this.
(gentle piano music)
(envelope rustling)
(paper rustling)
(gentle piano music)
[Crystal] My dearest, Diane,
today is your second birthday
and time sure is flying.
This year I'm doing something different.
I'm going to document my
life for you, all of it.
I want you to know exactly
who your mother was
and also who she wasn't.
Through these letters and through you,
I hope I have a voice again,
because although I'm gone, Diane,
you are the one who brought me to life.
(soft gentle music)
(people chattering indistinctly)
(rising dramatic music)
Diane, what's wrong?
I read the letters last night.
What letters?
- My mother's.
- Oh my God.
I read every last one.
(Diane sniffles)
I know who murdered my mother.
Oh my God, it was your father.
This whole fucking time
I never believed you.
[Diane] No, it wasn't him.
What? What are you talking about?
It's complicated, all right?
They framed my father.
Who's they? Who's they?
It all starts with the
police chief here in Seymour.
What are you talking
about? Melton Jonas?
Why would the police chief
wanna kill your mother?
My father had information.
He was going to the DA to expose him.
Something about sex trafficking and drugs.
(Jack sighs)
Man, I can't fucking believe this.
This is, uh.
They turned my mother into a drug mule
and then framed my father for the murder.
Are you gonna to tell the police?
No, I'm not going to the fucking cops.
They're dirty, Jack.
I don't even feel safe here right now.
Diane, you have the
letters, you could show them.
It doesn't matter.
You don't understand how deep this goes.
So what are you gonna do?
(people chatting indistinctly)
So why are we taking
your grandmother's truck?
[Diane] Just in case.
In case of what?
Just drive.
Diane, just.
In case of what?
[Diane] Just drive, okay?
(sighs) Fuck.
(Diane breathing heavily)
(tense dramatic music)
(dog barking)
(screen door creaks)
(knuckles rapping)
[Contestant] I'd like
to buy another vowel.
A.
[Host] One A.
(bell dinging)
(audience applauding)
$500.
- [Contestant] R.
[Melton] Yes?
[Host] Mmm-hmm. Three R's.
Are you Melton Jonas?
I'm sorry, dear.
These haven't worked in a few years now.
Who are you?
My name's Diane.
Oh, nice to meet you, Diane.
Is there something I can do to help you?
You knew my mother.
Well, you know, I was
chief of police for 32 years.
I knew a lot of people, kid.
Crystal Peterson.
Hmm. No.
Well, Diane, why don't you come on in,
you can tell me more about your mother.
All right?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, you said Crystal, uh,
was it Peterson, was it?
Oh, wonder why that name
doesn't ring a bell.
It should.
(door slamming)
(Diane gasps)
Yes, Diane.
I do remember that bitch.
(dramatic whoosh)
Ah, good old .45 caliber Beretta.
Excellent choice.
Hmm.
So what are ya, huh?
The avenging angel?
(cork popping)
[Diane] I wanna know
who killed my mother.
Well, it's common
knowledge that your father
murdered your mother.
Some other jury didn't see it that way,
but sometimes those people get it wrong.
That's fucking bullshit.
You framed my father 'cause
he was gonna expose you.
(Melton laughs)
Expose me?
Woo!
(Melton chuckles)
Someone has an active imagination here.
I've read the letters.
(Melton clears throat)
The letters?
[Diane] 11 years' worth.
My mother told me everything.
The drug runs you sent her on.
How you shot her up with a
speed ball for the first time.
(soft sinister music)
I read it all.
(soft sinister music)
I also know about the rapes.
I have the final letter.
(Melton sighs heavily)
(Melton scoffs)
And those letters?
They don't exist.
All that fucking matters now
is that I'm gonna kill you.
Yeah, right, right.
Okay, you wanna play this game this game,
Miss Peterson, your way?
Fine, let's go ahead and play it your way.
That's fine with me.
(phone dialing)
- [Cop] Hello?
- Hey.
Yeah, it's me.
I need you to do a rundown
on a Diane Peterson.
Want you to bring me
everything and anything
you can find on her as soon as you can.
[Cop] Is everything all right, boss?
No, no, we just have to
tie off some loose ends.
[Cop] I'm on it.
I'll see you here very soon.
I'm the only one who
knows where the letters are.
I swear to God.
(Melton chuckles)
(soft sinister music)
I'll let you in on something, kid.
There is no God.
You don't fucking scare me.
Look at that.
Poor baby.
You know something?
You're, you're even
prettier than your mama.
(Diane gasps)
Of course, I doubt that
you could ever suck cock
like she could.
We'll find out soon enough, won't we?
Won't we, baby? Hmm?
Hmm? Hmm?
(Diane sobbing)
[Diane] Get the fuck off me.
(Melton chuckling)
(Diane sobbing)
[Melton] Come on, come on now.
[Diane] Please fucking get off.
(Melton breathing heavily)
(Diane sobbing)
(knuckles rapping)
Shh.
Oh, that was fast.
(Diane breathing heavily)
(doorknob clicks)
[Jack] Where the fuck is Diane?
(gun firing)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Diane breathing shakily)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Jack breathing shakily)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Melton breathing shakily)
[Melton] You fucking bitch.
You shot me.
You shot me! (Sobbing)
Oh, fuck, fuck!
Diane, what did you do?
I should've killed you
when I had the chance.
[Diane] What did you say?
I should have fucked you from behind
and then put a bullet in your head!
(Melton chuckling)
Just like Cesar did to your mother.
(Melton chuckling)
(gunshot blasting)
What the fuck was that Diane, huh?
You just fucking murdered
the police chief.
Yeah, the same police
chief that killed my mother
and was gonna kill me.
What?
Would you rather it had been me?
Would you rather have the
motherfucker kill me, Jack?
No.
Diane, of course not.
Okay?
How can you even say that?
(Diane sobbing)
I'm scared. I'm scared.
We're gonna get through this, okay?
No. It's not that.
I'm scared because.
[Jack] What? 'Cause why?
Because I fucking liked it.
(indistinct police radio chatter)
[Parker] Damn, Pop.
(indistinct police radio chatter)
(engine rumbling)
(soft gentle music)
I'm sorry, Daddy.
(soft gentle music)
(Diane crying)
(bright upbeat music)
(dog barking)
(Josh snoring)
That's the worst case of
sleep apnea I've ever heard.
(Parker chuckles)
Ah, fuck, shit!
God dammit, fuck.
Are those fucking ballet slippers?
No Parker, okay?
They're arch-corrective support, okay?
It helps with my posture.
(Parker chuckles)
Wake up, you fat fuck.
I said wake up!
I heard you the first time.
We just wanna to talk, okay?
You wanna talk with a gun in my face
at three o'clock in the morning?
How about you come back
in a reasonable hour
with a fucking chai latte, Ricky Ricardo?
That's cute, that's cute, you know?
I always figured you for more of a mocha
with a shot of espresso
kind of a guy myself.
Go fuck yourself.
I'll tell you what, while you're at it,
why don't you fuck him, too?
Looks like you haven't
had a good ass pounding
in a few weeks.
That's what I'm trying
to tell you there, Stanley.
You really haven't, you
know, all things being equal.
Yeah, do you wanna
know what capitalism is?
It's getting fucked, eh?
(Parker laughing)
The fuck you doing?
(gun blasting)
(Parker laughing)
[Parker] That's not what I expected.
Gotta tell you, Josh,
that looks like a direct
violation of your parole.
Yeah. Oh, wow.
This fuckers on?
He's on? You're on parole?
[Stanley] Mmm-hmm.
[Parker] What's a
fresh key gonna get him?
Tell me, detective.
- At least 10 to 20.
Plus the guns?
[Stanley] Oof, that's another 10.
Ooh, you'll get out at 80 years old.
Call him, detective.
What do you want, man?
- Oh, he's seen the light.
- He's seen the light.
He's seen the light.
Hey, where's your nephew?
I don't know, man, he's on vacation.
Yeah?
Well listen, he and his bitch girlfriend
executed my father tonight,
and I wanna know where they went.
My nephew's a good kid, man.
He wouldn't have done something like that.
I don't fucking believe you.
It doesn't matter if you believe me.
What is of the utmost
importance is if I believe you.
I'ma ask you one more time.
Where's Jack O'Brian and Diane Peterson?
Three,
two.
It's fucking garbage.
Fuck you.
(gun blasting)
[Host] But I did not know.
(bell ringing)
Thank you Sam, very much
for your rogue comment.
(electricity zapping)
Welcome to fucking Little Rock.
Diane, it's just for
the night, all right?
I'm gonna go take a shower.
(Diane sighs)
Oh my God.
Jack! Jack!
What?
[Diane] We have to get outta here.
What, were the cops here?
What? Cops? No.
I was reading the Yelp reviews.
People say that this place has bedbugs.
Also, there's no coffee in the morning.
And last week someone found a
chicken floating in the pool.
A chicken, Jack. A real chicken.
Jack.
I'm thirsty.
(water running)
Here.
- What is that?
- It's water.
- [Diane] It's from the sink.
- So?
So are you trying to kill me
or just poison me slowly over time?
What, are you kidding me?
Tap water never killed anybody.
You do realize that tap water
killed 33 people last year, right?
There's shit like chlorine, chromium,
and even arsenic in it.
Hexavalent chromium is a carcinogen, Jack.
Haven't you ever heard
of chromium poisoning?
How the hell do you know all this?
I watched "Erin
Brockovich" the other night.
Right.
All right, I'm gonna grab something
from the vending machine then, all right?
Hey, if they have a Kit
Kat or a peanut M&M's,
can you grab one of those, too?
Only peanut, though.
Don't get the pretzel ones.
Diane, are you sure you're okay?
Just please don't get
the pretzel ones, okay?
(gun clicking)
(soft suspenseful music)
(Diane sighs)
(water running)
(soft suspenseful music)
I don't know if I can do this.
Mom?
You've always been the
strongest little girl I know.
These people destroyed us, Diane.
And now it's our turn to destroy them.
You have to do what's right.
But Mom, they're killers.
You have the letters and the
instructions I left for you.
And remember, there's
nothing more powerful
than righteousness.
We can't let them take everything from us.
(soft suspenseful music)
I love you, Mom.
(knuckles rapping)
Jack-
Look out, look out.
[Diane] What is it? What happened?
Some crazy old fuck
just started chasing me
down with a machine gun, that's what.
Here, come on, we gotta move.
We gotta block the door.
Ah!
Jack, hold on, it
doesn't make any sense!
Diane, the old guy at the front office
just chased me down with a
fucking machine gun, okay?
I just asked him where
the vending machine was.
He grabbed his walker and then he
Hey, stop!
Did you just say he grabbed his walker?
Yeah, but he was hauling
ass with that thing, okay?
Come on, we gotta get the fuck outta here.
Okay, Jack, we're not going anywhere.
Just listen for a second, okay?
[Jack] What am I listening for?
Do you hear anything?
There's nobody here. Nobody chasing you.
[Jack] Come on, get out of the way. Go.
I'm telling you, that old prick's probably
right around the corner.
Oh my God.
[Jack] I know he's like
an ex-Navy Seal and shit.
I could just tell by the way he moves.
- Jack.
- [Jack] Stealth-like.
Okay, stop.
Look at me.
Calm the fuck down.
Okay?
Okay, but I'm not staying here
with GI Joe lurking in the hallways
with his machine gun, okay?
I wanna get outta here.
All right, fine. All right.
Then we'll go someplace else.
(both sighing)
I always tell the
truth, even when I lie.
Shut up.
(Parker chuckling)
I know that you think
that since your father
was the chief here for so many years
that somehow you're privileged.
I'm the only guy on the force
who has to drive his own car.
(Pierce chuckles)
I'm here to tell you
that you're definitely not.
As a matter of fact, I think
you're just as dirty as he was,
and one day I intend on proving it.
Until then, I'm just gonna
let you and your sidekick here
shoot each other in the foot.
Whoa, excuse me, Captain.
Wouldn't that be feet?
- Well done.
- [Pierce] Excuse me?
You said you're gonna let us
shoot each other in the foot,
but since there's two of
us, wouldn't that be feet?
- Plural, right?
- Mmm-hmm.
With all due respect,
Captain, I'm not my father.
Look at my record, you'll
see that I haven't had
a complaint now in almost a decade.
- That happens to be true.
- [Parker] That is true.
But miraculously in the past decade,
almost a dozen bodies turned up on reports
that you're involved in.
I suppose it's hard to
complain when you're dead.
That's true, too.
[Pierce] You have something to say?
No, Captain.
And speaking of unusual circumstances,
what happened to Josh O'Brian?
[Parker] It's right there
on our report, Captain.
Just gotta read it.
It's interesting
because by all accounts,
Mr. O'Brian was running
a legitimate business.
His parole officer said that
he was completely clean.
(Parker chuckling)
You can even say squeaky.
Captain, remember that old saying,
a leopard never changes his spots, right?
There you are.
It seems this leopard did.
But I'm having a hard time believing that
when you and Detective Montana walked in,
that Josh O'Brian was just sitting there
playing with a kilo of cocaine.
Yeah, he wasn't playing with it.
He was-
[Parker] Not playing.
Snorting it like they
do in the movies, Captain.
- [Pierce] Mmm.
- [Stanley] Yeah.
And as far as this investigation goes,
you're off the case.
With all due respect, Captain,
Diane Peterson and Jack
O'Brian murdered my father.
And I'ma skin 'em both
alive and hang 'em out
for everyone to see, okay?
(Pierce chuckling)
Yeah.
I apologize if I didn't
make myself absolutely clear.
You and your partner are off the case.
Now get the fuck out of my office.
[Parker] Wow.
(upbeat punk rock music)
What the fuck are we doing here?
You left all our money at the motel.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
there's no ATM here.
We're in a fucking crack house.
(upbeat punk rock music)
You lost or something, honey?
Maybe she's looking
for a gang bang, huh?
(Boris wolf whistling)
You her pimp?
No, my name is Jack.
Pleasure to meet you guys.
Jack, shut up.
(Diane sighs)
What's that?
Fuck does it look like?
Well, in a distorted prison kind of way,
it looks like Julius Cesar.
(laughs) Bitch has jokes.
What's in your hand?
You looking to rent that
pussy out for a while?
We can make that work.
How much you want?
All of it.
(drug dealers laugh)
Baby girl, you're going to
be fucking us for a month.
(Boris laughs)
Diane, come on.
I don't think so.
[Vladimir] That shit ain't even real.
(gun blasting)
- Whoa!
Jesus Christ! What,
are you fucking crazy?
Watch the wall.
Crazy bitch, you almost shot me!
(gun blasting)
Ah!
(Vladimir groaning)
Now you can't say almost.
(Vladimir groaning)
All of it. Now.
What's in the bag?
Put it on the fucking ground.
(Vladimir groaning)
You know you are already dead, right?
Those are Cesar's narcotics.
You're a walking fucking corpse.
Cesar's gonna kill you.
You know Cesar?
He's gonna fuck you in the ass
and put a bullet in the back
of your pretty little head!
I don't fucking think so.
(gun blasting)
Oh, fuck, fuck!
You just, you just fucking shot him!
What are you? Fucking crazy?
Huh?
[Diane] Do you guys know Cesar, too?
Uh, never heard of him.
I, I, I know a Peter, I know a John.
I know, I know a Sam.
Sounds similar to Cesar, but Cesar?
Shut the fuck up.
- [Boris] Yes, ma'am.
- Diane, we have to go.
Don't touch me.
All right.
Put your watches in the bag.
Chains also.
(Vladimir coughing)
(watches clattering)
Now take your clothes off.
- [Boris] What?
You heard me. Take them off.
My, uh, my drawers?
[Diane] Your what?
My underwears. They ain't clean.
I guess you should
have thought about that
before you left the house this
morning, you hairy animal.
Now take them off.
Get on the sofa.
- That thing is filthy.
- [Diane] I don't care. Go!
Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Ah!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, bro.
- Ah! Ah!
Get on top of him.
I didn't say anything about spooning.
Get the fuck on top.
[Jack] Diane, that's enough.
[Diane] Perfect.
What the fuck is that back there?
- I'm sorry!
- Smile, fucking idiots.
(camera clicks)
All right, the first
one that gets up dies.
(drug dealers breathing heavily)
(truck rumbling)
- How much?
- 10.
What? Hundreds?
Thousand.
Oh my God. No, Diane.
I gotta drive, okay?
- Okay, so drive then.
- I gotta drive. Geez.
What is that?
Okay, see this?
This is our emergency money, all right?
Right.
Hotels, food, gas, beef
jerky, the essentials.
Okay.
And this is a Peter payment.
What do you mean, Peter pay?
Well, when they stole from
the rich and gave to the poor.
Oh, you mean Robin Hood.
Fine, I guess we can be that one, too.
Wait, wait. What is that?
It's kinda like a map.
What do you mean kinda like?
Here, let me see.
(paper rustling)
Wait, wait.
You knew those guys were in there?
What is this? Is this a hit list?
Call it what you want, all right?
They took everything from me, Jack.
My mother, my father, my entire family.
I can't let it go, all right?
I just can't.
Diane, would you put that thing away?
The worst popo are out here.
Whoa! Whoa!
What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know what the
fine is for littering
around here, Diane?
Jesus!
Fuck!
[Diane] Oh, shit.
(sirens wailing)
Oh, fuck.
(sirens wailing)
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
I remember when I used
to have hair like this.
You need to wash it more, though,
because you're gonna lose it.
(phone vibrating)
Look, I'm a little busy right now.
We have a problem.
Well, you know how I
feel about problems, right?
I'm trying to rectify it right now.
If you're calling me,
I guess you're doing a
pretty shitty job, eh?
Hey, you remember that situation
you and my father had back in
Indiana about 15 years ago?
15 Years? I can barely
remember yesterday, motherfucker.
My old partner, Mike Peterson?
Keep going.
I think his daughter knows.
- Knows what?
- [Parker] Everything.
(upbeat dramatic music)
Well.
What we wish we readily believe.
What we ourselves think we
imagine others think also.
Whatever.
Look, I think she snatched
some of your narcotics.
Ah, check that. I know she did.
I don't pay you and your father
for bad news, motherfucker.
My father's dead.
The girl killed him.
I see.
[Parker] I think she's
coming from you next.
Well, tell her where I
live, and then cry havoc.
And let's slip the dogs
of war, motherfucker.
Appreciate the heads up, yo.
(Cesar screams)
(dramatic music)
I can't believe how
fucked we are right now.
We're gonna be in here all
weekend, you know that?
I'm gonna go to jail,
you're gonna go to jail.
I'm gonna have a criminal record.
I'm gonna be completely fucked.
You know, I won't even be the same
when I get outta jail, right?
You know what they do to gingers in jail?
They become the bitch right away.
It's guaranteed.
It's like they're the
little, their girlfriend,
like when you walk in.
Frickin' raped right away.
- Oh my goodness.
My jumpsuits gonna match
the color of my hair.
Do you know what they do
to people like me in jail?
Fuck, man.
We don't have a lawyer.
Hey, let's call this guy.
Monty Moskowitz.
What? Some Italian guy
written on a jail wall?
(slick hip hop music)
Hey, Leon!
Leon!
(Leon thudding)
(cane clattering)
Leon, come here.
Come here. Come here.
Come closer. Come here.
What the fuck are you doing?
Aw, fuck.
I told you not to
take the neck brace off.
There are cameras everywhere.
I can't lay down with it, Monty.
Jesus, it's like a fucking
cactus wrapped around my neck.
Swear, it's like a
cactus around my neck.
It hurts. Oh my God!
Wah!
Now you listen to me.
I don't give a fuck if it ruptures your C7
all the way down to your C1.
Wear the fucking brace.
Do you realize I can't sleep with it?
That is a problem, okay?
See this?
It's for a toddler.
How am I supposed to get this even over
my fuckin' pinky toe?
Stretch it the fuck out!
If I come in here again and
don't see you wearin' it,
I swear to God, Leon, you're
gonna have a fuckin' bad day.
- Boy, you can be mean.
- Fuck you!
[Diane] Oh my God.
You will not believe the
nightmare I just had.
We were in some tiny, disgusting jail
with some weird cop
with a fucking ponytail.
Also, there was this crazy
lawyer named Monty Moscowitz
wearing some insane blue suit.
It was disgusting.
And some crazy criminal
in the stall next to us.
You were freaking out.
[Jack] So how'd you
find out about this place?
My mother sat at this exact table.
Are you serious?
Why? She was picking up drugs, right?
(footsteps clomping)
(Jack sighs)
- [Sally] Hello.
- Hi.
Decided?
(chuckles) We just got here.
So are you here to eat?
Well, what else would we be doing here?
Right.
You feeling okay, Sally?
- I'm just fine, thank you.
- [Jack] Okay.
And what will you have?
That one.
All-American burger, excellent choice.
And for you, ma'am?
I'm not that hungry.
I'll just have a Diet Coke
and a side of Jimmy Da Beef.
That's what I thought.
Just a moment.
Is this chick fuckin' nuts?
What the hell's Jimmy Da Beef?
(hands slamming)
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck is
What the fuck you
looking at, pretty boy?
Let's go. Come on.
- Hey! No, no!
Sit down and shut the fuck up.
[Diane] What the fuck are you doing?
Shut the fuck up. Let's go, huh?
(mid-tempo rock music)
Fuckin' now. Sit down.
- Fuck you.
- [Diego] Sit down.
What's a pretty girl like
you want with Jimmy Da Beef?
You know, this is really not
gonna help your Yelp reviews.
(fist smacking)
(Diane gasps)
You wanna stay pretty?
You better start answering
my fucking questions.
What do you want with Jimmy Da Beef?
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
(fist smacking)
(Diane gasps)
[Diego] It's only gonna get worse.
Now you're really
starting to piss me off.
Diane Peterson?
JB, that name sound familiar?
So you're Jimmy Da Beef.
Why
are you here?
Your
breath
stinks.
[Jimmy] Who sent you?
My mother sent me.
And your mother,
your mother
is dead!
That's right.
(Jimmy scoffs)
Put her on the table.
(Diane whimpering)
Now your mother,
she spent
many, many nights
on this table.
(Diane gasping)
Fight, sweetheart.
Fight with everything you have.
Don't let them do the same thing to you
that they did to me.
I'm not as strong as you are.
[Mother] Yes, you are.
You're stronger.
Now get up and fight.
You don't have to hold me down.
Now is that right?
I'll do anything you want.
(upbeat punk rock music)
I just want what my mother never got.
What's that, huh?
Revenge.
(gun firing)
(body thudding)
(bright jazzy music)
Oh, you're funny, you're funny.
I'm gonna get you later.
I'm gonna get you later.
Hey, G, check this out.
Special blend.
Take it.
- Special blend.
- Yeah.
You won't mind if I (mumbling).
(Genevieve inhales sharply)
Woo! (Laughs)
Ah.
Special test right here.
Oh, yeah.
For special practice.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
Woo! Fuck yeah!
Oh!
(hands slapping)
Wipe it off.
Oh, yeah.
Taste it.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
- Yeah?
- It's good. Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
Ooh, holy shit.
Oh, yeah.
These are the new girls.
(bright jazzy music)
Okay, get her bigger tits.
Oh.
Huh.
They're a little too skinny, no?
They're models.
Is that a mustache?
No.
She's Brazilian.
I don't give a shit where she's from.
That's a fucking mustache, man.
Mary, that's a mustache. Look.
Right?
- It's a shadow.
- A shadow?
You said you wanted models.
She's a model.
Models. Fuck it.
You aim a camera at a girl nowadays
and suddenly she's a fucking model.
Sweetheart, what do you model?
See, it can't even talk.
It's not a model.
It's a fucking wildebeest.
Get them the fuck out of here.
Fetch more blondes, man.
They make more money.
It's good to be home.
Yo, what's up, Gully?
What's up, Parker?
Been away too long. It's too long.
How the hell do you
know about this place?
I went to college out here, man.
[Partygoer] Parker.
Whoa, look at all these
fine grade of cuts of meat
walkin' around, huh?
[Stanley] I got a bad feeling, Parker.
Loosen up, bro. Loosen up.
Yeah, what if there's a fire, huh?
How are we gonna get outta here with all
these cows in the way?
- Grab some shots, huh?
- [Jack] No, no, no, Diane.
- No.
- [Jack] This is a bad idea.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I need a drink. I'm fucking dying.
Come on.
I'll have one and
then we're out of here.
- All right.
- Hey, gorgeous.
I'm Bobby.
What can Bobby get for ya?
Run up the tequila, Bobby the bartender.
My kind of girl. Comin' right up.
Same for you, Brady Bunch?
Just pour the drinks.
Oh, he's got a mouth, too.
Well, at least I know this song.
Yeah.
(hard rock music)
Come on, Parker.
Show you some moves, baby. Come on.
Yeah, come on, come on.
Let's do this.
Here's another one.
Might as well.
(upbeat rock music)
(can clatters)
(bell ringing)
(patrons whooping)
Hey, hey, time to party!
I need five of you ladies
on this bar right now
to show us what we're working with.
(patrons whooping)
(upbeat rock music)
Might as well.
Ugh!
Ah-ho-ho-ho.
Oh, fuck!
[Bobby] Need an apron over there?
- [Jack] Ugh.
- [Bobby] Or a bib?
Oh, fuck. I can't.
No, no, no, I don't want.
Uh-oh.
Your man doesn't look so well.
- I'll just take a water.
- One more.
- [Bobby] Aw.
- One more, one more.
Here you are. Number three.
Good luck, sir.
Diane, you know I don't drink.
Fuck.
- Come on, you drink.
- Okay, let's go. Ready?
- Yeah.
(Jack coughs)
Oh!
Dancing around in her headspace
Careless and free summer daze
A culturistic shift
All she needed was a thrill
And it's me who made her awake
Oh, Diane, what are you doing?
Diane, what the fuck are you doing?
Saying give me a kiss
She leans into me
(Parker speaking indistinctly)
It is what it seems
Oh, whoa
Her world in one piece
Oh, yeah
I gave her her dream
'Cause I'm a lover boy at heart, yeah
'Cause I'm a lover boy at heart
Ain't nobody ever tellin' her no
New made Madonna is
a view you can't miss
Hey, it's a raid.
You're under arrest. Let me see your ID.
Nobody came? I hope not. (Laughs)
Oh, yeah
It is what it seems
Oh, whoa
Her world in one piece
Waste our days
Along the way
To nowhere fast and nowhere we can be
I know it can all fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms, in your heart it's fine
- [Genevieve] Just one.
- Just one?
You give me the grape,
I get you the first.
Ooh, I like that.
It's kind of a weird dynamic.
I like that. I'm gonna
get you the whole thing.
(utensil clinking)
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for being here.
Needless to say, this is
a very big night for us.
Our new friends from Brazil,
Mr. Silva and Mrs. Silva
have made quite a purchase.
$15 million.
(group applauding)
Here's to our long-lasting friendship.
To our new friends.
And I mean this with complete
respect to you, Mrs. Silva,
but gentlemen, you will enjoy the ladies.
(group chuckling)
Secondly,
for my son, who I've not seen in years,
means more to me than
any of you can imagine.
Here's to you, Stanley.
[Genevieve] Cheers.
(dramatic string music)
I'm just sorry, you know, you
had to become a fucking cop.
But hey, you can leave that
alone for tonight, right?
Yeah, yeah? (Speaking in foreign language)
What? What happened?
(speaking in foreign language)
Hey, hey!
Oh, stop with all the feelings.
Hey, you have the tampon on you?
Got a tampon?
- [Genevieve] Yeah.
Hey, hey, put the tampon in, man.
You're like a fucking woman.
What's the problem with today's society?
Everybody has such fucking feelings, baby.
Come on.
Hey, let's not let it ruin our night.
Toast! $15 million.
[Partygoer] Woo-hoo!
Party time.
(doorknobs squeaking)
(bright string music)
(doorknobs squeaking)
(bright string music)
- [Server] Sir.
- Fuck!
- [Diane] Jack.
- Shit! (Sighs)
All right, I need to find a bathroom.
(Jack sighs)
(bright piano and string music)
Okay, I'm just gonna
use the bathroom, okay?
Wait here.
(kiss smacking)
(bright string music)
(Genevieve inhaling sharply)
Woo!
Crazy.
(dramatic music)
(water running)
(Genevieve sighing)
(dramatic music)
Sheesh!
You are fabulous.
[Diane] Thank you.
(dramatic music)
(Genevieve laughs)
Great drinks they have here, right?
Fucking fabulous, yeah.
So do you come here a lot or?
[Diane] It's actually my first time.
- [Genevieve] Mmm.
- What? You?
Oh, only when I'm
looking for new talent.
What, are you like
an agent or something?
Something like that.
(dramatic music)
What color is your hair underneath?
Is it that obvious?
It's blonde.
Fuck yeah! Ha!
I thought I recognized you!
You look even prettier in person.
(tongue clicks)
Diane.
How do you know my name?
How the fuck do you know my name?
[Diane] Get the fuck
off me, you crazy bitch.
(dramatic music)
(Diane and Genevieve rustling)
[Genevieve] Bitch! Bitch!
Ugh!
(head thudding)
Ugh!
(Diane gasping)
(tense dramatic music)
(Genevieve grunts)
(tense dramatic music)
(water running)
(tense dramatic music)
(flesh squelching)
(rising dramatic music)
(low sinister music)
[Jack] Diane?
Diane!
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck.
Okay, I'm gonna get you upstairs.
Welcome to Hollywood, Jack.
Come on. Someone wants to meet ya.
Everyone out.
Get the fuck out!
(fist pounding)
Sit down.
Listen to him. What's wrong with you?
(Cesar sighs)
Where's the girl?
I don't know.
- Go find her.
- Yeah, yeah.
Jack.
Is it okay if I call you Jack?
Listen, (hand slapping)
I don't have a problem with you.
Personally I don't give a
fuck if you walk outta here.
(Cesar chuckles)
But your girlfriend, well,
that's a more complicated situation.
There's just no way I can let
her walk out of here alive.
At some point,
secrets have to die.
Mmm-hmm.
You understand that, right, Jack?
Don't look so sad.
She chose this.
She could've walked away,
went on with her normal life.
Just tell me where she is
and you have my word
she dies a quick and painless death.
Diane is gonna fucking kill you.
Okay. Have it your way.
(tense dramatic music)
I don't see her. She's not here.
[Diane] Julius Cesar Montana.
(thunder clapping)
I'm coming for you.
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
Come on!
(tense dramatic music)
(gun firing)
(bodies thudding)
[Diane] This next song
goes out to Cesar Montana.
Finders keepers, losers weepers
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
Can you see me?
Real gun, real bullets.
I know your fucking
generation watched a lot
of movies, but you know what?
He's gonna die.
I'm gonna shoot him.
Hello?
Hey, Jack, I guess she
don't give a shit about you.
Okay, I'm not gonna do that
stupid countdown bullshit.
I'm just gonna pull the trigger.
Ready? You ready?
Hey.
You got a prayer or
something, motherfucker?
And this I know
So blame yourself
For what's been done
You played your game
Hi.
[Cesar] I hope it was all
worth it, Miss Peterson.
Your cause is noble, I
have to give you that.
But
your tactics are just a little primitive.
I hope
you're ready to fucking die.
(Cesar chuckles)
Now with your mother,
it was just business.
She'd run drugs out there,
perform whatever sexual
favors were called for,
and then just go back to a normal life.
It worked.
Unfortunately, things got
complicated with your father.
The man had a big mouth.
It needed to be closed.
[Diane] Is that why you framed him?
Put him in a fucking wheelchair?
Well, it was better
than the alternative.
You don't have any fucking appreciation
for anything, do you?
You entitled little bitch.
No one appreciates anything anymore, man.
Fuckin' millennials, man.
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
You should have just stayed
in the little bum fuck town
you come from and then
everything would've been fine.
Pistola.
You know what?
You got a lot of heart, kid.
(gun firing)
I dreamt of you last night
You were by my side
I woke up alone
I should've known
Because I'm always on my own
Sorry, Dad, but I am a real cop
and I might be part Jewish.
Stanley!
Stanley, what are you doin', Stanley?
It's over, Parker.
It ain't over.
It ain't over till I say it's over.
I say it's over, okay?
This fuckin' whore killed my father.
Remember that?
I'm sorry to say it,
but your piece of shit dad deserved it.
You're so fuckin' weak it's pathetic.
It's pathetic, Stanley.
You fuckin' asshole. You pretty boy bitch!
Look, you wanna be more like me?
You wanna be a real man?
Good fuckin' luck.
Don't do it!
(gun firing)
Stanley. Oh, you shot me!
I am a real man and I did very well
in weapons training, okay?
But just don't leave me.
Don't leave me like this.
We're partners.
Go fuck yourself, Parker.
Every minute, dear
When I'm without you
(gun firing)
Don't know what to do
Every time you say
Goodbye
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye
Goodbye
La dee da
(traffic humming)
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
Where should we go?
Anywhere but here.
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
(birds chirping)
What's this?
(birds chirping)
(Mike sobbing)
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms, in your heart it's fine
Keep me still
But keep me running
Back to you
Back to the start again
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
What is all this noise going on?
You've been partying all night.
Are these dead people?
[Stanley] Get the fuck out of here, man.
I'm not going anywhere.
[Stanley] Who the fuck is this guy?
I'm calling the cops.
I demand that you
release my new clients.
Uh, uh, what are your names again?
With the rush release fee,
the non-ambulatory service fee
plus the standard extraction
fee, that'll be 10 grand.
(Jack sighs)
Here's Uncle Johnny!
Give me 50 of these cute,
little guys right here.
They're goldfish, you idiot.
I don't care what color
they are. I need 50.
Better show Uncle Johnny some respect.
Yeah, man, how about this right here?
I am professional race car driver.
I have to throw the bits.
Really? How much money
have you made so far?
Not the point! Sit!
You show some respect to your uncle,
even if he is an idiot.
He's not an idiot.
He is an idiot.
No! My beers!
Diane, what the fuck are you doing?
Okay, have fun, John Wayne.
According to sources,
Montana was being hunted down
by the now infamous couple
Jack and Diane from Seymour, Indiana.
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
And that's the way the
cookie crumbles, bitch.
I feel no pain
I never thought
The silence would kill me
We waste our days
On the way
To nowhere fast
And nowhere we can be
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms
In your heart it's fine
Keep me still
But keep me running
Back to you
Back to the start again
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Why the hell didn't he wake me up?
I dunno. You just looked
so peaceful laying there.
Yeah, whatever you say.
(Dianne imitates gunshot)
You know what?
You're crazy.
Jack, I can't, all right?
I'm so late.
[Jack] Oh, too late.
(Diane laughs)
Okay, maybe just a minute.
(traffic humming)
Stanley!
This fucking thing hits
60 in three seconds.
Not exactly what I wanna hear, Parker.
What do you want me to do? Come on.
You want me to honk and
still on every traffic light?
Well, according to the
tactical driving handbook, yes.
The last crash almost killed me.
I don't get these rods outta my neck
for another three months.
A couple titanium rods
never hurt anyone, stop.
[Stanley] I've got six, Parker.
Two, six, what's the fucking difference?
Four, Parker. Do you know how to count?
Yeah. (Chuckles)
Shut up, okay?
[Stanley] Oh, fuck it.
What are you doing?
Just looking at some old pictures.
Let me see.
Look at that.
Can you believe that was us?
All right, even after the accident
where you crashed into the school bus
and ejected me through the windshield.
I was on life support for two weeks.
He never came by, he never called.
You gotta let this go, man.
You hang on to shit way too long, okay?
I mean, and also, by the way,
you weren't on life support, dude.
You were on a medically-induced coma.
There's a big fucking
difference, bro, big.
Yeah, see, you'll never understand,
because you and your father were close.
What's your father do for a living?
He's a drug lord, he's a killer,
he's a dope dealer, right?
And you become a cop.
It's like Hitler's son, you know,
converting to being a Jew.
They don't fit, bro.
Yeah, but I'm still his flesh and blood.
Flesh and blood, like those fish.
Let's get em outta here,
they stink. Come on.
See, here I am emotionally decapitated
and all you can think
about is damn dead fish.
Who's that asshole?
(upbeat country music)
(water swirls)
Perfect.
[Stanley] Ah, damn.
What the fuck?
(Parker chuckles)
Sorry, I gotta return these.
You can't return a bag
of dead fish, dumb ass.
Right there.
Oh, come on.
These fish didn't even last two days.
When he was here the other day,
I told him exactly what was gonna happen.
Didn't I?
What did I tell you?
That fish aren't meant
to be swimming around
in a small ass fish bowl.
And?
And that they would soon get depressed,
their colors would fade,
and that one day I'm gonna
find them swimming upside down.
Exactly.
Hey Stanley, you see these?
You see these?
Oh, yeah.
(muffled music)
(Parker chuckling)
[Parker] So how high
on this stuff are you?
Oh, God.
Why didn't you tell me
you got new fish, huh?
Can you recommend a couple?
I always thought you were the kinda guy
who'd maybe like own a monkey.
How about a monkey?
A monkey? They shit all over the place.
Besides, I got a fish fetish.
Recommend?
Yeah, you know, some fish
that'll live past Sunday?
They're goldfish, they're
all gonna fucking die.
Well, aren't you a
little ray of sunshine?
What's your fascination
with goldfish, anyway?
Look, I'd rather not talk about it.
Let's just say they're very relaxing.
Anyone ever tell you
that you're fucking weird?
Yeah, what do you do to relax?
I masturbate.
[Parker] Wow, I like this girl.
Everyone needs to find
their inner peace, okay?
It's called chi. It's
their energy flow, so.
[Diane] Okay, what
the fuck are you doing?
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Ooh, I don't feel a vibration.
Okay, what the hell does that mean?
It means you're spiritually dead.
Yeah, no shit.
I'm in a pet store in Seymour, Indiana.
Tell me something I don't know.
Okay, so what do you do for fun?
Besides masturbate,
not a lot of options.
In that case, I think maybe, uh,
you should call me sometime.
I'd rather grind my teeth
down the side of a chalkboard.
- [Parker] Wow.
- Besides, I have a boyfriend.
- [Parker] Really?
- Yeah, you can go fuck off.
Oh, wow. Somebody needs to get laid.
[Diane] Hey, your
friend's talking to you.
Look, this place is killing you.
The energy here is very bad.
Well, I quit jobs for
worst reasons than that.
Good luck.
All right. Can I get a couple of those?
Why are you so happy today?
I'm just tired.
Shouldn't you be at work?
Can we please talk about that later?
No, let's talk about it now.
Well, technically, yes.
Technically? What does that mean?
I quit, okay?
Are you kidding?
(door clicking)
(sighs) Okay.
Is there anything that
you wanna talk about?
I just hate it here.
Look, I know that we don't have much,
but we do the best we can.
I don't mean here, I
mean here in Seymour.
I can't pour any more ice cream cones
or sweep anymore floors or
scoop any more goldfish.
I just can't.
Why don't you come work with
me and Nana at the prison?
No offense, but I'd rather
drink a bottle of arsenic.
Me too most days.
Do you think that this
might have something to do
with something else?
I really, really don't wanna
talk about that right now.
Look at me.
I know how much it hurts.
I loved my sister to death,
and you're the spitting image of her,
and that's not something
that I can run away from.
Every time I look at you, I see her.
Your mother wrote those letters
to share herself with you.
Just you, Diane.
I think you owe it to her to read them.
I know.
All right, I'm gonna
go check on the brownies.
We'll talk about this later.
(door creaks)
God, I missed you.
[Diane] I missed you, too.
(upbeat rock music)
What's wrong?
The pet store sucked anyway.
(sighs) How does this keep happening?
Shut up, okay?
You sound just like my aunt.
I just, Diane, I've had
one job since we graduated.
You've had like 10.
I mean, you're just gonna run outta places
to work around here.
Yeah, well, maybe that's a good thing.
How is that a good thing?
Because I fucking hate it here.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Look at it outside.
Look how beautiful it is.
I mean. (Scoffs)
Plus, Uncle Josh is
gonna make me a manager
in a year or two.
You know, Uncle Josh is a criminal.
He's a 50-year-old biker
who calls himself Jesus,
for God's sake.
Are you fucking kidding me?
[Jack] It's just a nickname, okay?
Jack, open your eyes.
Why are you so angry?
Jack.
I love you, but
if there's one thing I learned
from my mother's death,
is that you can't wait around.
I mean, she wanted to get
out of this town for years,
but always found a reason to stay.
(car whooshing past)
There's more to life
than scooping goldfish
into a bag for minimum wage.
I want my life to mean something.
This is a dead end town, Jack.
Maybe I like this dead end town.
I wanna go to Hollywood
and be an actress.
[Jack] Fuck.
I wanna go to those movie
premieres with the red carpet.
Wait, where the hell is
all this coming from, Diane?
I don't know.
I mean, I've always thought about it.
And what would I do down there?
You've always loved those fantasy books.
You'd probably be an amazing writer.
A writer. That's what you think.
You think so?
Yeah, absolutely. Why not?
I don't know.
I thought that we were gonna stay here,
and then we were eventually gonna
have a family, raise kids.
Jack, I am not happy here.
Making shit money, working shit jobs.
There's so much more to life than this.
I'm really late.
(drill whirring)
(air hissing)
(engine rumbling)
Shit. (Sighs)
I thought your uncle was gonna tell him
to stop hanging out around here.
I told him how you feel.
(Jack sighs)
I gotta go to work, all right?
I love you.
(tool banging)
(door slamming)
Hey, JuJu Bean.
You look beautiful today.
(door slamming)
(tools banging)
I have one thing to say to you.
Go fuck yourself.
And why don't you go
leach off someone else
and stay the hell away from
where my boyfriend works.
Josh is just trying to help me out.
[Diane] Yeah, someone
always has to help you
out these days.
Honey, when is this gonna end?
When you die.
How can you talk to
your father like that?
My father died the
night he killed my mother.
You know that's not true, Diane.
What is it that you're afraid of?
That if it's not me, then
you won't know who to blame?
I did not kill your mother.
(tools clattering)
I loved your mother with all my heart.
I told you what happened.
They did this to shut me up.
It's not true!
You're a fucking liar.
(beer spilling)
(Mike gasping)
Fuck you.
You think I wanted to end up like this?
You think I wanted to lose
everything that I love?
[Diane] It just wasn't
part of your plan.
Plan? There was no plan!
They did this!
They did this to me!
I didn't kill anyone.
(drill whirring)
(air hissing)
Everywhere I go
(Josh groaning)
I've got these people comin' at me
No matter what I do
I can't make anybody happy
(Josh groaning)
Hey.
Oh.
Jackie.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Ugh, yeah. Yeah, what's going on?
I don't know what to do with Diane.
Diane's fucking nuts.
She wants me to move to LA with her.
- Los Angeles?
- [Jack] Yeah.
Oh, big move.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I don't know what to do.
Oh. (Chuckles)
[Jack] What?
(Josh mumbling)
I.
Are you okay? What's going on?
I'm okay.
Oh.
Oh, you remember Lacey?
- [Lacey] Hi.
All right, well hey,
I'll catch up with you
after lunch, all right?
I thought, I thought the door was locked.
Sit down.
You gotta talk to your
crazy ass girlfriend, man.
She's knocking people
over out of wheelchairs
in front of the place.
That is not a good look, Jack.
I know, I know. Look, look, look.
I tried to talk to her. You know Diane.
She doesn't listen.
Once she gets in that
crazy mode, that's it.
Well, I know crazy better than anybody,
and there's no talking sense into crazy.
So what am I supposed to do then?
I mean, look, she wants
me to move to LA with her.
It's like all,
how do I just get her to
stay here and be happy?
Stay here and be happy?
That is not gonna happen.
So you're saying there's
nothing I can do then?
There is nothing that
you can do, you know?
The best move for you
is to go to Los Angeles
with her and keep an eye on her.
I mean, a girl like Diane can get into
a lot of trouble out there.
- Yeah.
On the bright side, your
job's not going anywhere.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
All right, Jackie, get back to work.
Got things to do.
Blowjobs to maintain.
- All right.
I'll talk to you later.
[Josh] All right, good talk.
(crickets chirping)
[Diane] Can you believe
somebody had the balls
to walk up there?
Some people say it didn't happen.
Oh hell, please don't be one of those.
One of those what?
Those cynical-ass people
who hate on everything.
I'm just telling you what people say.
Yeah, well, I prefer
to believe that people
can do great things.
You know, walking on stars and such.
Yeah, I guess.
Diane, um.
Just today, about your father.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, I know, I know, I just.
Look, you can't do that on my
uncle's place anymore, okay?
I know, I just, I
can't control my temper
when I see the man.
(Jack sighs)
Let me ask you somethin'.
Is there any part of you
at all that, you know,
feels sorry for the guy at all?
Sorry for the guy?
The guy that killed my mother.
Jack, do not get me started.
I get that.
But Diane, he was found not guilty.
(Diane sighs)
He was a cop, Jack.
Cops are never found guilty.
Okay, okay. I'm just asking, okay?
What is it that you want here?
Well, I just came here
to see the stars with you.
I'm not talking about right here.
I'm talking about this town.
Why are you so afraid to leave it?
You know what?
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
You're right.
Does this mean you'll
come to California with me?
Baby, I would fly up there,
walk on those stars if
that's where you're going.
It might burn our feet a little bit.
[Diane] Jack.
(soft piano music)
It goes on and on
And I never feel alone
I can hear the night train
Rumble along
(gentle piano music)
(Diane sighs)
(objects clattering)
You can do this.
(gentle piano music)
(envelope rustling)
(paper rustling)
(gentle piano music)
[Crystal] My dearest, Diane,
today is your second birthday
and time sure is flying.
This year I'm doing something different.
I'm going to document my
life for you, all of it.
I want you to know exactly
who your mother was
and also who she wasn't.
Through these letters and through you,
I hope I have a voice again,
because although I'm gone, Diane,
you are the one who brought me to life.
(soft gentle music)
(people chattering indistinctly)
(rising dramatic music)
Diane, what's wrong?
I read the letters last night.
What letters?
- My mother's.
- Oh my God.
I read every last one.
(Diane sniffles)
I know who murdered my mother.
Oh my God, it was your father.
This whole fucking time
I never believed you.
[Diane] No, it wasn't him.
What? What are you talking about?
It's complicated, all right?
They framed my father.
Who's they? Who's they?
It all starts with the
police chief here in Seymour.
What are you talking
about? Melton Jonas?
Why would the police chief
wanna kill your mother?
My father had information.
He was going to the DA to expose him.
Something about sex trafficking and drugs.
(Jack sighs)
Man, I can't fucking believe this.
This is, uh.
They turned my mother into a drug mule
and then framed my father for the murder.
Are you gonna to tell the police?
No, I'm not going to the fucking cops.
They're dirty, Jack.
I don't even feel safe here right now.
Diane, you have the
letters, you could show them.
It doesn't matter.
You don't understand how deep this goes.
So what are you gonna do?
(people chatting indistinctly)
So why are we taking
your grandmother's truck?
[Diane] Just in case.
In case of what?
Just drive.
Diane, just.
In case of what?
[Diane] Just drive, okay?
(sighs) Fuck.
(Diane breathing heavily)
(tense dramatic music)
(dog barking)
(screen door creaks)
(knuckles rapping)
[Contestant] I'd like
to buy another vowel.
A.
[Host] One A.
(bell dinging)
(audience applauding)
$500.
- [Contestant] R.
[Melton] Yes?
[Host] Mmm-hmm. Three R's.
Are you Melton Jonas?
I'm sorry, dear.
These haven't worked in a few years now.
Who are you?
My name's Diane.
Oh, nice to meet you, Diane.
Is there something I can do to help you?
You knew my mother.
Well, you know, I was
chief of police for 32 years.
I knew a lot of people, kid.
Crystal Peterson.
Hmm. No.
Well, Diane, why don't you come on in,
you can tell me more about your mother.
All right?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, you said Crystal, uh,
was it Peterson, was it?
Oh, wonder why that name
doesn't ring a bell.
It should.
(door slamming)
(Diane gasps)
Yes, Diane.
I do remember that bitch.
(dramatic whoosh)
Ah, good old .45 caliber Beretta.
Excellent choice.
Hmm.
So what are ya, huh?
The avenging angel?
(cork popping)
[Diane] I wanna know
who killed my mother.
Well, it's common
knowledge that your father
murdered your mother.
Some other jury didn't see it that way,
but sometimes those people get it wrong.
That's fucking bullshit.
You framed my father 'cause
he was gonna expose you.
(Melton laughs)
Expose me?
Woo!
(Melton chuckles)
Someone has an active imagination here.
I've read the letters.
(Melton clears throat)
The letters?
[Diane] 11 years' worth.
My mother told me everything.
The drug runs you sent her on.
How you shot her up with a
speed ball for the first time.
(soft sinister music)
I read it all.
(soft sinister music)
I also know about the rapes.
I have the final letter.
(Melton sighs heavily)
(Melton scoffs)
And those letters?
They don't exist.
All that fucking matters now
is that I'm gonna kill you.
Yeah, right, right.
Okay, you wanna play this game this game,
Miss Peterson, your way?
Fine, let's go ahead and play it your way.
That's fine with me.
(phone dialing)
- [Cop] Hello?
- Hey.
Yeah, it's me.
I need you to do a rundown
on a Diane Peterson.
Want you to bring me
everything and anything
you can find on her as soon as you can.
[Cop] Is everything all right, boss?
No, no, we just have to
tie off some loose ends.
[Cop] I'm on it.
I'll see you here very soon.
I'm the only one who
knows where the letters are.
I swear to God.
(Melton chuckles)
(soft sinister music)
I'll let you in on something, kid.
There is no God.
You don't fucking scare me.
Look at that.
Poor baby.
You know something?
You're, you're even
prettier than your mama.
(Diane gasps)
Of course, I doubt that
you could ever suck cock
like she could.
We'll find out soon enough, won't we?
Won't we, baby? Hmm?
Hmm? Hmm?
(Diane sobbing)
[Diane] Get the fuck off me.
(Melton chuckling)
(Diane sobbing)
[Melton] Come on, come on now.
[Diane] Please fucking get off.
(Melton breathing heavily)
(Diane sobbing)
(knuckles rapping)
Shh.
Oh, that was fast.
(Diane breathing heavily)
(doorknob clicks)
[Jack] Where the fuck is Diane?
(gun firing)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Diane breathing shakily)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Jack breathing shakily)
(heartbeat throbbing)
(Melton breathing shakily)
[Melton] You fucking bitch.
You shot me.
You shot me! (Sobbing)
Oh, fuck, fuck!
Diane, what did you do?
I should've killed you
when I had the chance.
[Diane] What did you say?
I should have fucked you from behind
and then put a bullet in your head!
(Melton chuckling)
Just like Cesar did to your mother.
(Melton chuckling)
(gunshot blasting)
What the fuck was that Diane, huh?
You just fucking murdered
the police chief.
Yeah, the same police
chief that killed my mother
and was gonna kill me.
What?
Would you rather it had been me?
Would you rather have the
motherfucker kill me, Jack?
No.
Diane, of course not.
Okay?
How can you even say that?
(Diane sobbing)
I'm scared. I'm scared.
We're gonna get through this, okay?
No. It's not that.
I'm scared because.
[Jack] What? 'Cause why?
Because I fucking liked it.
(indistinct police radio chatter)
[Parker] Damn, Pop.
(indistinct police radio chatter)
(engine rumbling)
(soft gentle music)
I'm sorry, Daddy.
(soft gentle music)
(Diane crying)
(bright upbeat music)
(dog barking)
(Josh snoring)
That's the worst case of
sleep apnea I've ever heard.
(Parker chuckles)
Ah, fuck, shit!
God dammit, fuck.
Are those fucking ballet slippers?
No Parker, okay?
They're arch-corrective support, okay?
It helps with my posture.
(Parker chuckles)
Wake up, you fat fuck.
I said wake up!
I heard you the first time.
We just wanna to talk, okay?
You wanna talk with a gun in my face
at three o'clock in the morning?
How about you come back
in a reasonable hour
with a fucking chai latte, Ricky Ricardo?
That's cute, that's cute, you know?
I always figured you for more of a mocha
with a shot of espresso
kind of a guy myself.
Go fuck yourself.
I'll tell you what, while you're at it,
why don't you fuck him, too?
Looks like you haven't
had a good ass pounding
in a few weeks.
That's what I'm trying
to tell you there, Stanley.
You really haven't, you
know, all things being equal.
Yeah, do you wanna
know what capitalism is?
It's getting fucked, eh?
(Parker laughing)
The fuck you doing?
(gun blasting)
(Parker laughing)
[Parker] That's not what I expected.
Gotta tell you, Josh,
that looks like a direct
violation of your parole.
Yeah. Oh, wow.
This fuckers on?
He's on? You're on parole?
[Stanley] Mmm-hmm.
[Parker] What's a
fresh key gonna get him?
Tell me, detective.
- At least 10 to 20.
Plus the guns?
[Stanley] Oof, that's another 10.
Ooh, you'll get out at 80 years old.
Call him, detective.
What do you want, man?
- Oh, he's seen the light.
- He's seen the light.
He's seen the light.
Hey, where's your nephew?
I don't know, man, he's on vacation.
Yeah?
Well listen, he and his bitch girlfriend
executed my father tonight,
and I wanna know where they went.
My nephew's a good kid, man.
He wouldn't have done something like that.
I don't fucking believe you.
It doesn't matter if you believe me.
What is of the utmost
importance is if I believe you.
I'ma ask you one more time.
Where's Jack O'Brian and Diane Peterson?
Three,
two.
It's fucking garbage.
Fuck you.
(gun blasting)
[Host] But I did not know.
(bell ringing)
Thank you Sam, very much
for your rogue comment.
(electricity zapping)
Welcome to fucking Little Rock.
Diane, it's just for
the night, all right?
I'm gonna go take a shower.
(Diane sighs)
Oh my God.
Jack! Jack!
What?
[Diane] We have to get outta here.
What, were the cops here?
What? Cops? No.
I was reading the Yelp reviews.
People say that this place has bedbugs.
Also, there's no coffee in the morning.
And last week someone found a
chicken floating in the pool.
A chicken, Jack. A real chicken.
Jack.
I'm thirsty.
(water running)
Here.
- What is that?
- It's water.
- [Diane] It's from the sink.
- So?
So are you trying to kill me
or just poison me slowly over time?
What, are you kidding me?
Tap water never killed anybody.
You do realize that tap water
killed 33 people last year, right?
There's shit like chlorine, chromium,
and even arsenic in it.
Hexavalent chromium is a carcinogen, Jack.
Haven't you ever heard
of chromium poisoning?
How the hell do you know all this?
I watched "Erin
Brockovich" the other night.
Right.
All right, I'm gonna grab something
from the vending machine then, all right?
Hey, if they have a Kit
Kat or a peanut M&M's,
can you grab one of those, too?
Only peanut, though.
Don't get the pretzel ones.
Diane, are you sure you're okay?
Just please don't get
the pretzel ones, okay?
(gun clicking)
(soft suspenseful music)
(Diane sighs)
(water running)
(soft suspenseful music)
I don't know if I can do this.
Mom?
You've always been the
strongest little girl I know.
These people destroyed us, Diane.
And now it's our turn to destroy them.
You have to do what's right.
But Mom, they're killers.
You have the letters and the
instructions I left for you.
And remember, there's
nothing more powerful
than righteousness.
We can't let them take everything from us.
(soft suspenseful music)
I love you, Mom.
(knuckles rapping)
Jack-
Look out, look out.
[Diane] What is it? What happened?
Some crazy old fuck
just started chasing me
down with a machine gun, that's what.
Here, come on, we gotta move.
We gotta block the door.
Ah!
Jack, hold on, it
doesn't make any sense!
Diane, the old guy at the front office
just chased me down with a
fucking machine gun, okay?
I just asked him where
the vending machine was.
He grabbed his walker and then he
Hey, stop!
Did you just say he grabbed his walker?
Yeah, but he was hauling
ass with that thing, okay?
Come on, we gotta get the fuck outta here.
Okay, Jack, we're not going anywhere.
Just listen for a second, okay?
[Jack] What am I listening for?
Do you hear anything?
There's nobody here. Nobody chasing you.
[Jack] Come on, get out of the way. Go.
I'm telling you, that old prick's probably
right around the corner.
Oh my God.
[Jack] I know he's like
an ex-Navy Seal and shit.
I could just tell by the way he moves.
- Jack.
- [Jack] Stealth-like.
Okay, stop.
Look at me.
Calm the fuck down.
Okay?
Okay, but I'm not staying here
with GI Joe lurking in the hallways
with his machine gun, okay?
I wanna get outta here.
All right, fine. All right.
Then we'll go someplace else.
(both sighing)
I always tell the
truth, even when I lie.
Shut up.
(Parker chuckling)
I know that you think
that since your father
was the chief here for so many years
that somehow you're privileged.
I'm the only guy on the force
who has to drive his own car.
(Pierce chuckles)
I'm here to tell you
that you're definitely not.
As a matter of fact, I think
you're just as dirty as he was,
and one day I intend on proving it.
Until then, I'm just gonna
let you and your sidekick here
shoot each other in the foot.
Whoa, excuse me, Captain.
Wouldn't that be feet?
- Well done.
- [Pierce] Excuse me?
You said you're gonna let us
shoot each other in the foot,
but since there's two of
us, wouldn't that be feet?
- Plural, right?
- Mmm-hmm.
With all due respect,
Captain, I'm not my father.
Look at my record, you'll
see that I haven't had
a complaint now in almost a decade.
- That happens to be true.
- [Parker] That is true.
But miraculously in the past decade,
almost a dozen bodies turned up on reports
that you're involved in.
I suppose it's hard to
complain when you're dead.
That's true, too.
[Pierce] You have something to say?
No, Captain.
And speaking of unusual circumstances,
what happened to Josh O'Brian?
[Parker] It's right there
on our report, Captain.
Just gotta read it.
It's interesting
because by all accounts,
Mr. O'Brian was running
a legitimate business.
His parole officer said that
he was completely clean.
(Parker chuckling)
You can even say squeaky.
Captain, remember that old saying,
a leopard never changes his spots, right?
There you are.
It seems this leopard did.
But I'm having a hard time believing that
when you and Detective Montana walked in,
that Josh O'Brian was just sitting there
playing with a kilo of cocaine.
Yeah, he wasn't playing with it.
He was-
[Parker] Not playing.
Snorting it like they
do in the movies, Captain.
- [Pierce] Mmm.
- [Stanley] Yeah.
And as far as this investigation goes,
you're off the case.
With all due respect, Captain,
Diane Peterson and Jack
O'Brian murdered my father.
And I'ma skin 'em both
alive and hang 'em out
for everyone to see, okay?
(Pierce chuckling)
Yeah.
I apologize if I didn't
make myself absolutely clear.
You and your partner are off the case.
Now get the fuck out of my office.
[Parker] Wow.
(upbeat punk rock music)
What the fuck are we doing here?
You left all our money at the motel.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
there's no ATM here.
We're in a fucking crack house.
(upbeat punk rock music)
You lost or something, honey?
Maybe she's looking
for a gang bang, huh?
(Boris wolf whistling)
You her pimp?
No, my name is Jack.
Pleasure to meet you guys.
Jack, shut up.
(Diane sighs)
What's that?
Fuck does it look like?
Well, in a distorted prison kind of way,
it looks like Julius Cesar.
(laughs) Bitch has jokes.
What's in your hand?
You looking to rent that
pussy out for a while?
We can make that work.
How much you want?
All of it.
(drug dealers laugh)
Baby girl, you're going to
be fucking us for a month.
(Boris laughs)
Diane, come on.
I don't think so.
[Vladimir] That shit ain't even real.
(gun blasting)
- Whoa!
Jesus Christ! What,
are you fucking crazy?
Watch the wall.
Crazy bitch, you almost shot me!
(gun blasting)
Ah!
(Vladimir groaning)
Now you can't say almost.
(Vladimir groaning)
All of it. Now.
What's in the bag?
Put it on the fucking ground.
(Vladimir groaning)
You know you are already dead, right?
Those are Cesar's narcotics.
You're a walking fucking corpse.
Cesar's gonna kill you.
You know Cesar?
He's gonna fuck you in the ass
and put a bullet in the back
of your pretty little head!
I don't fucking think so.
(gun blasting)
Oh, fuck, fuck!
You just, you just fucking shot him!
What are you? Fucking crazy?
Huh?
[Diane] Do you guys know Cesar, too?
Uh, never heard of him.
I, I, I know a Peter, I know a John.
I know, I know a Sam.
Sounds similar to Cesar, but Cesar?
Shut the fuck up.
- [Boris] Yes, ma'am.
- Diane, we have to go.
Don't touch me.
All right.
Put your watches in the bag.
Chains also.
(Vladimir coughing)
(watches clattering)
Now take your clothes off.
- [Boris] What?
You heard me. Take them off.
My, uh, my drawers?
[Diane] Your what?
My underwears. They ain't clean.
I guess you should
have thought about that
before you left the house this
morning, you hairy animal.
Now take them off.
Get on the sofa.
- That thing is filthy.
- [Diane] I don't care. Go!
Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Ah!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, bro.
- Ah! Ah!
Get on top of him.
I didn't say anything about spooning.
Get the fuck on top.
[Jack] Diane, that's enough.
[Diane] Perfect.
What the fuck is that back there?
- I'm sorry!
- Smile, fucking idiots.
(camera clicks)
All right, the first
one that gets up dies.
(drug dealers breathing heavily)
(truck rumbling)
- How much?
- 10.
What? Hundreds?
Thousand.
Oh my God. No, Diane.
I gotta drive, okay?
- Okay, so drive then.
- I gotta drive. Geez.
What is that?
Okay, see this?
This is our emergency money, all right?
Right.
Hotels, food, gas, beef
jerky, the essentials.
Okay.
And this is a Peter payment.
What do you mean, Peter pay?
Well, when they stole from
the rich and gave to the poor.
Oh, you mean Robin Hood.
Fine, I guess we can be that one, too.
Wait, wait. What is that?
It's kinda like a map.
What do you mean kinda like?
Here, let me see.
(paper rustling)
Wait, wait.
You knew those guys were in there?
What is this? Is this a hit list?
Call it what you want, all right?
They took everything from me, Jack.
My mother, my father, my entire family.
I can't let it go, all right?
I just can't.
Diane, would you put that thing away?
The worst popo are out here.
Whoa! Whoa!
What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know what the
fine is for littering
around here, Diane?
Jesus!
Fuck!
[Diane] Oh, shit.
(sirens wailing)
Oh, fuck.
(sirens wailing)
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
I remember when I used
to have hair like this.
You need to wash it more, though,
because you're gonna lose it.
(phone vibrating)
Look, I'm a little busy right now.
We have a problem.
Well, you know how I
feel about problems, right?
I'm trying to rectify it right now.
If you're calling me,
I guess you're doing a
pretty shitty job, eh?
Hey, you remember that situation
you and my father had back in
Indiana about 15 years ago?
15 Years? I can barely
remember yesterday, motherfucker.
My old partner, Mike Peterson?
Keep going.
I think his daughter knows.
- Knows what?
- [Parker] Everything.
(upbeat dramatic music)
Well.
What we wish we readily believe.
What we ourselves think we
imagine others think also.
Whatever.
Look, I think she snatched
some of your narcotics.
Ah, check that. I know she did.
I don't pay you and your father
for bad news, motherfucker.
My father's dead.
The girl killed him.
I see.
[Parker] I think she's
coming from you next.
Well, tell her where I
live, and then cry havoc.
And let's slip the dogs
of war, motherfucker.
Appreciate the heads up, yo.
(Cesar screams)
(dramatic music)
I can't believe how
fucked we are right now.
We're gonna be in here all
weekend, you know that?
I'm gonna go to jail,
you're gonna go to jail.
I'm gonna have a criminal record.
I'm gonna be completely fucked.
You know, I won't even be the same
when I get outta jail, right?
You know what they do to gingers in jail?
They become the bitch right away.
It's guaranteed.
It's like they're the
little, their girlfriend,
like when you walk in.
Frickin' raped right away.
- Oh my goodness.
My jumpsuits gonna match
the color of my hair.
Do you know what they do
to people like me in jail?
Fuck, man.
We don't have a lawyer.
Hey, let's call this guy.
Monty Moskowitz.
What? Some Italian guy
written on a jail wall?
(slick hip hop music)
Hey, Leon!
Leon!
(Leon thudding)
(cane clattering)
Leon, come here.
Come here. Come here.
Come closer. Come here.
What the fuck are you doing?
Aw, fuck.
I told you not to
take the neck brace off.
There are cameras everywhere.
I can't lay down with it, Monty.
Jesus, it's like a fucking
cactus wrapped around my neck.
Swear, it's like a
cactus around my neck.
It hurts. Oh my God!
Wah!
Now you listen to me.
I don't give a fuck if it ruptures your C7
all the way down to your C1.
Wear the fucking brace.
Do you realize I can't sleep with it?
That is a problem, okay?
See this?
It's for a toddler.
How am I supposed to get this even over
my fuckin' pinky toe?
Stretch it the fuck out!
If I come in here again and
don't see you wearin' it,
I swear to God, Leon, you're
gonna have a fuckin' bad day.
- Boy, you can be mean.
- Fuck you!
[Diane] Oh my God.
You will not believe the
nightmare I just had.
We were in some tiny, disgusting jail
with some weird cop
with a fucking ponytail.
Also, there was this crazy
lawyer named Monty Moscowitz
wearing some insane blue suit.
It was disgusting.
And some crazy criminal
in the stall next to us.
You were freaking out.
[Jack] So how'd you
find out about this place?
My mother sat at this exact table.
Are you serious?
Why? She was picking up drugs, right?
(footsteps clomping)
(Jack sighs)
- [Sally] Hello.
- Hi.
Decided?
(chuckles) We just got here.
So are you here to eat?
Well, what else would we be doing here?
Right.
You feeling okay, Sally?
- I'm just fine, thank you.
- [Jack] Okay.
And what will you have?
That one.
All-American burger, excellent choice.
And for you, ma'am?
I'm not that hungry.
I'll just have a Diet Coke
and a side of Jimmy Da Beef.
That's what I thought.
Just a moment.
Is this chick fuckin' nuts?
What the hell's Jimmy Da Beef?
(hands slamming)
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck is
What the fuck you
looking at, pretty boy?
Let's go. Come on.
- Hey! No, no!
Sit down and shut the fuck up.
[Diane] What the fuck are you doing?
Shut the fuck up. Let's go, huh?
(mid-tempo rock music)
Fuckin' now. Sit down.
- Fuck you.
- [Diego] Sit down.
What's a pretty girl like
you want with Jimmy Da Beef?
You know, this is really not
gonna help your Yelp reviews.
(fist smacking)
(Diane gasps)
You wanna stay pretty?
You better start answering
my fucking questions.
What do you want with Jimmy Da Beef?
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
(fist smacking)
(Diane gasps)
[Diego] It's only gonna get worse.
Now you're really
starting to piss me off.
Diane Peterson?
JB, that name sound familiar?
So you're Jimmy Da Beef.
Why
are you here?
Your
breath
stinks.
[Jimmy] Who sent you?
My mother sent me.
And your mother,
your mother
is dead!
That's right.
(Jimmy scoffs)
Put her on the table.
(Diane whimpering)
Now your mother,
she spent
many, many nights
on this table.
(Diane gasping)
Fight, sweetheart.
Fight with everything you have.
Don't let them do the same thing to you
that they did to me.
I'm not as strong as you are.
[Mother] Yes, you are.
You're stronger.
Now get up and fight.
You don't have to hold me down.
Now is that right?
I'll do anything you want.
(upbeat punk rock music)
I just want what my mother never got.
What's that, huh?
Revenge.
(gun firing)
(body thudding)
(bright jazzy music)
Oh, you're funny, you're funny.
I'm gonna get you later.
I'm gonna get you later.
Hey, G, check this out.
Special blend.
Take it.
- Special blend.
- Yeah.
You won't mind if I (mumbling).
(Genevieve inhales sharply)
Woo! (Laughs)
Ah.
Special test right here.
Oh, yeah.
For special practice.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
Woo! Fuck yeah!
Oh!
(hands slapping)
Wipe it off.
Oh, yeah.
Taste it.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
- Yeah?
- It's good. Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
(Cesar inhaling sharply)
Ooh, holy shit.
Oh, yeah.
These are the new girls.
(bright jazzy music)
Okay, get her bigger tits.
Oh.
Huh.
They're a little too skinny, no?
They're models.
Is that a mustache?
No.
She's Brazilian.
I don't give a shit where she's from.
That's a fucking mustache, man.
Mary, that's a mustache. Look.
Right?
- It's a shadow.
- A shadow?
You said you wanted models.
She's a model.
Models. Fuck it.
You aim a camera at a girl nowadays
and suddenly she's a fucking model.
Sweetheart, what do you model?
See, it can't even talk.
It's not a model.
It's a fucking wildebeest.
Get them the fuck out of here.
Fetch more blondes, man.
They make more money.
It's good to be home.
Yo, what's up, Gully?
What's up, Parker?
Been away too long. It's too long.
How the hell do you
know about this place?
I went to college out here, man.
[Partygoer] Parker.
Whoa, look at all these
fine grade of cuts of meat
walkin' around, huh?
[Stanley] I got a bad feeling, Parker.
Loosen up, bro. Loosen up.
Yeah, what if there's a fire, huh?
How are we gonna get outta here with all
these cows in the way?
- Grab some shots, huh?
- [Jack] No, no, no, Diane.
- No.
- [Jack] This is a bad idea.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I need a drink. I'm fucking dying.
Come on.
I'll have one and
then we're out of here.
- All right.
- Hey, gorgeous.
I'm Bobby.
What can Bobby get for ya?
Run up the tequila, Bobby the bartender.
My kind of girl. Comin' right up.
Same for you, Brady Bunch?
Just pour the drinks.
Oh, he's got a mouth, too.
Well, at least I know this song.
Yeah.
(hard rock music)
Come on, Parker.
Show you some moves, baby. Come on.
Yeah, come on, come on.
Let's do this.
Here's another one.
Might as well.
(upbeat rock music)
(can clatters)
(bell ringing)
(patrons whooping)
Hey, hey, time to party!
I need five of you ladies
on this bar right now
to show us what we're working with.
(patrons whooping)
(upbeat rock music)
Might as well.
Ugh!
Ah-ho-ho-ho.
Oh, fuck!
[Bobby] Need an apron over there?
- [Jack] Ugh.
- [Bobby] Or a bib?
Oh, fuck. I can't.
No, no, no, I don't want.
Uh-oh.
Your man doesn't look so well.
- I'll just take a water.
- One more.
- [Bobby] Aw.
- One more, one more.
Here you are. Number three.
Good luck, sir.
Diane, you know I don't drink.
Fuck.
- Come on, you drink.
- Okay, let's go. Ready?
- Yeah.
(Jack coughs)
Oh!
Dancing around in her headspace
Careless and free summer daze
A culturistic shift
All she needed was a thrill
And it's me who made her awake
Oh, Diane, what are you doing?
Diane, what the fuck are you doing?
Saying give me a kiss
She leans into me
(Parker speaking indistinctly)
It is what it seems
Oh, whoa
Her world in one piece
Oh, yeah
I gave her her dream
'Cause I'm a lover boy at heart, yeah
'Cause I'm a lover boy at heart
Ain't nobody ever tellin' her no
New made Madonna is
a view you can't miss
Hey, it's a raid.
You're under arrest. Let me see your ID.
Nobody came? I hope not. (Laughs)
Oh, yeah
It is what it seems
Oh, whoa
Her world in one piece
Waste our days
Along the way
To nowhere fast and nowhere we can be
I know it can all fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms, in your heart it's fine
- [Genevieve] Just one.
- Just one?
You give me the grape,
I get you the first.
Ooh, I like that.
It's kind of a weird dynamic.
I like that. I'm gonna
get you the whole thing.
(utensil clinking)
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for being here.
Needless to say, this is
a very big night for us.
Our new friends from Brazil,
Mr. Silva and Mrs. Silva
have made quite a purchase.
$15 million.
(group applauding)
Here's to our long-lasting friendship.
To our new friends.
And I mean this with complete
respect to you, Mrs. Silva,
but gentlemen, you will enjoy the ladies.
(group chuckling)
Secondly,
for my son, who I've not seen in years,
means more to me than
any of you can imagine.
Here's to you, Stanley.
[Genevieve] Cheers.
(dramatic string music)
I'm just sorry, you know, you
had to become a fucking cop.
But hey, you can leave that
alone for tonight, right?
Yeah, yeah? (Speaking in foreign language)
What? What happened?
(speaking in foreign language)
Hey, hey!
Oh, stop with all the feelings.
Hey, you have the tampon on you?
Got a tampon?
- [Genevieve] Yeah.
Hey, hey, put the tampon in, man.
You're like a fucking woman.
What's the problem with today's society?
Everybody has such fucking feelings, baby.
Come on.
Hey, let's not let it ruin our night.
Toast! $15 million.
[Partygoer] Woo-hoo!
Party time.
(doorknobs squeaking)
(bright string music)
(doorknobs squeaking)
(bright string music)
- [Server] Sir.
- Fuck!
- [Diane] Jack.
- Shit! (Sighs)
All right, I need to find a bathroom.
(Jack sighs)
(bright piano and string music)
Okay, I'm just gonna
use the bathroom, okay?
Wait here.
(kiss smacking)
(bright string music)
(Genevieve inhaling sharply)
Woo!
Crazy.
(dramatic music)
(water running)
(Genevieve sighing)
(dramatic music)
Sheesh!
You are fabulous.
[Diane] Thank you.
(dramatic music)
(Genevieve laughs)
Great drinks they have here, right?
Fucking fabulous, yeah.
So do you come here a lot or?
[Diane] It's actually my first time.
- [Genevieve] Mmm.
- What? You?
Oh, only when I'm
looking for new talent.
What, are you like
an agent or something?
Something like that.
(dramatic music)
What color is your hair underneath?
Is it that obvious?
It's blonde.
Fuck yeah! Ha!
I thought I recognized you!
You look even prettier in person.
(tongue clicks)
Diane.
How do you know my name?
How the fuck do you know my name?
[Diane] Get the fuck
off me, you crazy bitch.
(dramatic music)
(Diane and Genevieve rustling)
[Genevieve] Bitch! Bitch!
Ugh!
(head thudding)
Ugh!
(Diane gasping)
(tense dramatic music)
(Genevieve grunts)
(tense dramatic music)
(water running)
(tense dramatic music)
(flesh squelching)
(rising dramatic music)
(low sinister music)
[Jack] Diane?
Diane!
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck.
Okay, I'm gonna get you upstairs.
Welcome to Hollywood, Jack.
Come on. Someone wants to meet ya.
Everyone out.
Get the fuck out!
(fist pounding)
Sit down.
Listen to him. What's wrong with you?
(Cesar sighs)
Where's the girl?
I don't know.
- Go find her.
- Yeah, yeah.
Jack.
Is it okay if I call you Jack?
Listen, (hand slapping)
I don't have a problem with you.
Personally I don't give a
fuck if you walk outta here.
(Cesar chuckles)
But your girlfriend, well,
that's a more complicated situation.
There's just no way I can let
her walk out of here alive.
At some point,
secrets have to die.
Mmm-hmm.
You understand that, right, Jack?
Don't look so sad.
She chose this.
She could've walked away,
went on with her normal life.
Just tell me where she is
and you have my word
she dies a quick and painless death.
Diane is gonna fucking kill you.
Okay. Have it your way.
(tense dramatic music)
I don't see her. She's not here.
[Diane] Julius Cesar Montana.
(thunder clapping)
I'm coming for you.
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
Come on!
(tense dramatic music)
(gun firing)
(bodies thudding)
[Diane] This next song
goes out to Cesar Montana.
Finders keepers, losers weepers
(Cesar speaking in foreign language)
Can you see me?
Real gun, real bullets.
I know your fucking
generation watched a lot
of movies, but you know what?
He's gonna die.
I'm gonna shoot him.
Hello?
Hey, Jack, I guess she
don't give a shit about you.
Okay, I'm not gonna do that
stupid countdown bullshit.
I'm just gonna pull the trigger.
Ready? You ready?
Hey.
You got a prayer or
something, motherfucker?
And this I know
So blame yourself
For what's been done
You played your game
Hi.
[Cesar] I hope it was all
worth it, Miss Peterson.
Your cause is noble, I
have to give you that.
But
your tactics are just a little primitive.
I hope
you're ready to fucking die.
(Cesar chuckles)
Now with your mother,
it was just business.
She'd run drugs out there,
perform whatever sexual
favors were called for,
and then just go back to a normal life.
It worked.
Unfortunately, things got
complicated with your father.
The man had a big mouth.
It needed to be closed.
[Diane] Is that why you framed him?
Put him in a fucking wheelchair?
Well, it was better
than the alternative.
You don't have any fucking appreciation
for anything, do you?
You entitled little bitch.
No one appreciates anything anymore, man.
Fuckin' millennials, man.
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
You should have just stayed
in the little bum fuck town
you come from and then
everything would've been fine.
Pistola.
You know what?
You got a lot of heart, kid.
(gun firing)
I dreamt of you last night
You were by my side
I woke up alone
I should've known
Because I'm always on my own
Sorry, Dad, but I am a real cop
and I might be part Jewish.
Stanley!
Stanley, what are you doin', Stanley?
It's over, Parker.
It ain't over.
It ain't over till I say it's over.
I say it's over, okay?
This fuckin' whore killed my father.
Remember that?
I'm sorry to say it,
but your piece of shit dad deserved it.
You're so fuckin' weak it's pathetic.
It's pathetic, Stanley.
You fuckin' asshole. You pretty boy bitch!
Look, you wanna be more like me?
You wanna be a real man?
Good fuckin' luck.
Don't do it!
(gun firing)
Stanley. Oh, you shot me!
I am a real man and I did very well
in weapons training, okay?
But just don't leave me.
Don't leave me like this.
We're partners.
Go fuck yourself, Parker.
Every minute, dear
When I'm without you
(gun firing)
Don't know what to do
Every time you say
Goodbye
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye
Goodbye
La dee da
(traffic humming)
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
Where should we go?
Anywhere but here.
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
(birds chirping)
What's this?
(birds chirping)
(Mike sobbing)
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
Cross my heart
And I hope to die
In your arms, in your heart it's fine
Keep me still
But keep me running
Back to you
Back to the start again
I know it could all
fall apart tomorrow
We're never even promised today
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
What is all this noise going on?
You've been partying all night.
Are these dead people?
[Stanley] Get the fuck out of here, man.
I'm not going anywhere.
[Stanley] Who the fuck is this guy?
I'm calling the cops.
I demand that you
release my new clients.
Uh, uh, what are your names again?
With the rush release fee,
the non-ambulatory service fee
plus the standard extraction
fee, that'll be 10 grand.
(Jack sighs)
Here's Uncle Johnny!
Give me 50 of these cute,
little guys right here.
They're goldfish, you idiot.
I don't care what color
they are. I need 50.
Better show Uncle Johnny some respect.
Yeah, man, how about this right here?
I am professional race car driver.
I have to throw the bits.
Really? How much money
have you made so far?
Not the point! Sit!
You show some respect to your uncle,
even if he is an idiot.
He's not an idiot.
He is an idiot.
No! My beers!
Diane, what the fuck are you doing?
Okay, have fun, John Wayne.
According to sources,
Montana was being hunted down
by the now infamous couple
Jack and Diane from Seymour, Indiana.
Let's just get away,
run away, fly away
We'll be together forever
And that's the way the
cookie crumbles, bitch.