The Lifeguards (2024) Movie Script

1
[Silence]
[Scribbling sound]
[Silence]
[Static sound]
[Music]
The Lifeguarding
League of America
presents,
Pool Safety.
A summer day at the pool can
be the most fun in the world,
right up until it's not.
That's why it's your
job as a lifeguard
to be as up to date on
current safety standards.
That's right, Chris.
But there are so many
rules and regulations.
How do you do it?
I refresh my memory by
going over the certified
lifeguard safety guide
once a week.
This should always
be kept at hand
in your guard shack.
Pocket sized waterproof versions
are also available and
heavily recommended.
Knowing the rules
and regulations are so important
because incidents will occur.
When you do hear
someone in distress,
act quickly and calmly.
[Water splash]
[Whistle]
[Water splash]
[Man coughs]
Before doing any
hands on assistance.
Be sure that help
is truly needed.
Sir! Sir!
Are you in need of assistance?
[Music]
No response means
assistance is needed. [Ding]
Uh-oh! Two hands
crossed over the throat
is the universal
sign for choking.
No need to hesitate.
Ugh!
[Spits]
Thanks, Mr..
[Ding]
The best way to save someone's
life is to prevent them
from getting in trouble
in the first place.
That's right, Jackie.
The most important thing a
lifeguard can do is prevent.
You must always remember
the acronym L.I.F.E. First,
you must always listen.
Listen for calls from
help, from the pool,
and even for calls for
help from the pool deck.
[Music]
Inform.
Make sure all patrons know
the rules of the pool.
If any of your younger pool
goers refuse to follow the rules,
inform their
parents or guardian.
And remember,
sometimes even adults
need to be informed.
F is for Focus.
A hot summer's day
can bring a lot of excitement
to your patrons
with music, games
and other summer fun activities.
You must always be focused
on the swimmers.
They are your
number one priority.
And finally Everyone.
All patrons should
be accounted for.
When everyone has a safe
and fun time at your pool,
you know you've done your job.
There are so many
rules and regulations.
Do I have to know them all?
Yes you do.
Failing to enforce
even one rule can cause you
to lose your job or
even someone's life.
Well, I'd say we've
done a great job.
Wouldn't you agree, Chris?
I sure would, but
that doesn't mean
we can't practice after hours.
Well, what do you
want to work on?
Mouth to mouth.
[Ding]
That's enough of
these for today.
I dont know a lot of people.
Bobby, Bill,
uh, Jaden, Jayda[?]
Who are all these guys?
I want you back here
by eleven thirty, Jeff
Do I seriously
still need a curfew?
Most of them won't even be
there till eleven thirty.
You wanna stay out all night?
Go find your own place to live.
Hey, Jeff, you don't
need the car, right?
Yeah, no, I'm getting picked up.
Wait! [Chuckles]
Where do you need to go?
I have my opening
guard meeting today.
Oh, yes. You mentioned
that was today.
Have fun.
Um, does His Highness
over here need a curfew?
I don't need to tell him
because he has never
come home late.
You could learn a thing or two
from your younger brother.
Yeah, I could learn
about being a loser.
Hey!
[Inaudible] it's true.
[Sighs]
[Whispering] You've
always been my favorite.
[Chair creaks]
Have fun. Don't drown.
Hey!
[Birds chirping]
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes]
[Birds chirping]
[Engine starts]
[Loud music plays]
Dang it, Jeff!
Turn the radio down
before turning the car off.
Its not hard.
[Music plays]
[Music plays]
So you're excited to
start working [Inaudible]?
Yeah. Im Just excited
to be around some
like minded people for a change.
[Music plays]
[Music plays]
Yeah, everyone at school
has just become a little...
Yeah, I was gonna say risky
But, yeah, that explain it too.
[Music plays]
Ill do my best to
come visit when I can
but I really want to
work as much as possible.
Harvards not gonna
pay for itself
[Music plays
I mean, yeah,
if I get perfect
grades all semester,
it might literally
pay for itself
but Im not gonna
take that chance
[Music playing]
[Car honks]
Im going to speed limit!
[Music playing]
[Music stops]
[Indistinct background
conversation]
[Door opens] [Woman chuckles]
So, anyway, you didn't
join the sorority?
How many times do
I have to tell you,
sororities arent
my thing. Okay?
You have to like,
turn in your grades
and you can't get in trouble
with the school and stuff
I went to college to get away from
that sort of parental oversight
Yeah, but it's still fun.
I like it
Fine! I went to one
rush event, but only
because my friend
begged me to go, okay.
[Chuckles]
We ended up being kicked
out like half way through.
OMG! Hi!
Missed you too, Tory
A pleasure, Emma
Are you girls ready for another
exciting summer of lifeguarding?
Yes. I'm so excited to watch
the annoying children of upper
class parents for minimum wage.
Mm-hmm
Did you know we have
the lowest minimum wage
of any developed nation?
Well, if you want to get paid
more then live in
Canada, be my guest.
Oh, good. Kyle's back this year.
I thought you would
have joined the army
and invaded a small
country by now.
[Chuckles]
So if you wanna join
the Crazy Brenda's,
make sure that you
smash that follow button
and drop it low on
the like button.
[Laughs]
Anyways, I have to go to
the stupid meeting now.
I love you all.
[Blows kisses] Bye.
Hey, guys.
Look at all these
beautiful people.
Norb, I, uh, didn't think
you'd be back this year.
Yeah, I know. I know.
Everybody's on the
edge of their seat
waiting to see if I come
back for the summer.
Well, rest assured, I will be
here full time all summer long.
You didn't even
tell me, asshole.
What? Maybe I like a
little drama in my life.
Speaking of drama.
First guard party this Friday.
You guys in?
I'm ready to party right now.
Yeah, I got some
beers in my car.
[Gasps]
Do you think the weed I stashed
in my locker is still here?
I don't know, but I have a pen
in my bag if you want a hit
Hey. [Snaps] New guy.
Wanna party this Friday?
Oh, I'm Norb, by the way.
Um, what?
Holy fish paste. It's
a guy. [Chuckles]
I thought you were
some life like dummy
that we were gonna be
practicing on [Laughs]
Winston!
I'm Tory.
What's your name?
I'm Mike.
Hi, Mike
Sorry I didn't introduce
myself yet. Im Emma
So, uh, what brings you to this
fine aquatic establishment?
Research shows that having
a summer job in high school
increases your chance of
college admittance by 45%.
And then having some
sort of certification
like CPR, increases,
uh, an additional 15%.
[Coughs]
DORK!
Stop it!
Well, you're in the right place.
This is the best
summer job there is.
Probably the best job. Period.
Norb, how the hell are we?
Meg-Attack
I'm happy to see you this year.
Hi, happy to see you this year,
I'm Maggie.
This girl doesn't miss a beat.
We're doing the guard
party on Friday.
You in?
Yes.
We're gonna get these
new guards blitzed.
Am I allowed at
this guard party?
I'm not 21.
[Other guards laughing]
Oh! He's being serious.
Oh! I'm going to enjoy
corrupting this boy.
Everyone here. Great.
Let's get started.
Welcome to all the
2023 Summer lifeguards.
[Claps]
Let's not clap every
time I stop talking.
Okay, Norb? I cant
be here all day.
I'm sorry, boss.
I'm just so excited.
Um, is everyone
here? Wheres Paul?
He got a big job.
Oh, really?
Good for him.
Yeah, I suppose.
Okay, we have a few
new summer lifeguards,
so why don't you stand up
and introduce yourself?
Uh, Mr. McHenry Sowolski[?]?
That can't be right.
Yeah. That's me.
What's your first name?
McHenry or Sowolski[?]?
McHenry.
Your first name is McHenry?
Yeah, like, y-you know
that old phrase, like,
you can't trust somebody
with two first names?
Well, my parents
want me to be, like,
extra trustworthy, so they
give me two last names.
Your parents didn't
trust you as a baby?
[Snaps]
Babies are wild, man.
Next, we have, uh, Brenda
Nichols. Uh, Brenda.
Oh, my gosh!
I am literally
about to speak at this
meeting right now.
Comment down below if public
speaking is the worst!
Argh!
My apologies, everyone.
I am under a contract.
Um, hi! My name is Brenda.
I am a current student
at Saint Thomas.
Uh, and I am the
president of the Math club
and vice president of the
speech and debate team.
I'm very excited
to be working here.
Okay.
Oh, uh, wait.
[Brenda laughs]
And if you want to be
part of the Crazy Brendas
make sure to follow me
on all social media.
Okay.
Uh, next up.
Mike, uh. De-, uh,
Domino.
Mike.
Hello, I'm Mike Domino.
I'm really excited to join
such a prestigious club
and a group of
wonderful lifeguards.
Is he talking about us?
[Man laughs]
Okay, for all you
returning guards,
you all know the drill.
Your job is to keep
the pool area clean,
keep the chlorine levels good.
And above all else,
Have fun!
Uh, no.
Keep the patrons alive.
Oh.
Alright. J-just do your jobs.
I don't want to get a
call from Mr. Porter again
because one of you pushed
his kid into the pool.
[Laughs]
I expect you all
to act like adults.
Norb!
You most of all, I'm entrusting
you to keep everyone in line.
On top of all this,
we'll still have our
weekly skills meeting
on Tuesday mornings at 7 A.M.
[Lifeguards boo]
Oh, you want me to make
it Saturday mornings?
That's what I thought.
Hi, Mike.
Got any fun plans tonight?
Yeah.
I'm at the point of no
return in this book.
Oh, cool.
Um, not planning on
going anywhere then?
No. Why?
Just wondering.
Hey, how about we order a pizza?
Whatever toppings you want
and find a fun movie to watch.
Mom, I already had
pizza this week.
I won't tell anyone.
Mom, I'm going out.
Do I even want to
know where or what?
Um. probably not, no.
Hey, any chance you want to take
your little brother with you?
What? No, no, no. [Inaudible]
he's just gonna
complain the whole time.
Come on, just this once.
I worry about him.
He's a lost cause.
He just needs a little push.
I don't know what to tell you.
Look at him.
I wish he was a
little more like you.
Really?
You know what?
Just hold on to that thought.
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Distant footsteps]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Footsteps approaching]
I love the smell of
chlorine in the morning.
[Birds chirping]
265 days, 7 hours,
and 15 minutes.
We are back, baby.
[Birds chirping]
[Whistle]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
I still don't like it.
Man, we used to
listen to this song
every morning back
when I started here.
I don't know, Norb.
I think you gotta keep this
summer music to the professionals.
Mm-hmm.
Brian Wilson and Jimmy Buffet.
Common,
I've spent the past 3 months
curating this lifeguard playlist.
Each song has to go
through so many listens
and just rigorous testing.
It's quite a process.
Hey, new guy!
Mike, how the hell are we?
You're late.
Oh, my gosh, I am?
I'm so sorry.
I could have sworn...
It will not happen
again, I promise.
Dude, you're not late.
Pretty early, actually.
Don't, don't mind them.
They may give you
some new guy hazing.
And I might do it too,
but you are Mike, right?
Yeah, I usually go by Mike,
but Michael works if we need
to be more professional here.
[Music plays]
Dude, you can leave that
professional personality at the door.
There's no place for it here.
Yeah. I can be unprofessional
at my profession, that's cool.
There you go.
Alright you guys, it is now
officially 10 A.M, o'clock
on this fine
Memorial Day weekend,
which means that
we are officially
Open!
[Music continues]
You know, I thought
it'd be more busy today.
Oh well, let's try
again tomorrow.
Cornhole?
Yup!
[Music]
So...
Mike?
What's your biggest regret?
What?
Hey, it's too early
in the morning
for these deep
questions, alright?
I'm just asking a question
to get to know the guy!
I guess...
not getting perfect
attendance in grade school?
[Chuckles]
Seriously?
Yeah, I only missed one day
because my family had to go to some
great aunt or something's funeral.
I don't even know who it was.
You gotta get some
bigger regrets, my man.
Why would I want bigger regrets?
I'm pretty angry about that one.
Man, when I was your age,
we had this huge
beehive in my backyard.
My parent's always told me,
you ignore the bees,
and they'll ignore you.
Well, I didn't listen.
I took a bat to that thing
like it was a freaking piata.
Cut to 45 seconds later,
I'm running down the street
getting stung on
every inch of my body.
It's the last time I
ever mess with bees.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but if you would have just
listened to your parents
in the first place,
you wouldn't have had to
go to the hospital at all.
Also, a valid takeaway
from that story.
Didn't you kill that kid
that one time or something?
I did not kill
that kid, shut up.
Hey, Mike, I got
a regret for you.
What's that?
Making Norb your partner.
[Shoot] - Who-ho!
Oh, just get used
to seeing this Norb.
You're gonna see it all summer.
Yeah, yeah.
[Splash]
We're supposed to have
someone up in the chair
if someone's swimming, correct?
It's just one kid.
Just listen for the
splash as it stops.
No, no, no.
Mike is right again.
We should have
somebody up there.
Uh, any takers?
First chair of the year?
That's the newbie's job.
Hey, he's not wrong.
What about you, McHenry?
Oh, I'm not working today.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay.
You're up, Mike.
[Music continues]
What kind of
lifeguards are these?
Are they even CPR certified?
Pull yourself together, Mike.
This is your new safe space.
All that matters up
here are the rules.
That is our bread and butter.
Just watch this little kid.
She's with her mom.
No problem.
[Splash] Woah! he
just jumped in there.
That looked dangerous.
You're fine.
Deep breaths.
In and out.
She's drinking in the pool,
but that's fine, right?
I mean, I think it's fine.
Oh, my God.
I don't even know the rules.
I'm gonna get fired.
I'm gonna die.
Hey, Mike. [Screams]
S-sorry, you startled me.
W-what's up?
It's, uh, time to switch.
It's been 30 minutes already?
Uh, yeah.
Jeez! That flew by.
Yeah, I daydream all the time.
It's nice in these
slow mornings.
I've fallen asleep a few times.
Try not to do that.
[Child screams]
[Water splash]
Hey.
Hey.
How was the first day?
Good, good.
No one drowned,
so I guess you could
say it was a success.
I would agree.
Hey, is Tim here today?
Oh, he's too busy running
the rest of the club
to ever come boss us
around. [Chuckles]
Why?
I need to give him
a printed version
of my certification.
Oh, my God, don't
worry about that.
Listen, if anyone
needs to come in here
and verify that we're
actual lifeguards,
that means we're in
seriously deep shit already.
[Music]
Good luck on the rest of today.
See you all tomorrow.
See you later, alligator.
Hey, don't forget about our
lifeguard meeting on Tuesday.
Won't miss it for the world.
Uh, it's not that important.
What you absolutely can't miss
is my epic party tonight.
Cool, yeah.
Sounds like fun.
[Music]
Hey, Spartacus.
Persians await.
[Music]
[Cling]
[Birds chirping]
What are you doing?
I have to film
this TikTok dance.
If I don't get it posted
soon, I'm screwed.
I hate that.
Tell me about it.
[Music]
Hey, Mike, right?
Yeah.
Emma.
Right.
Sorry.
Uh, couple of time.
You just finished first day?
Yeah, it went...
well...
I think.
Well, I'm hopefully of like a
shift or something together soon
like to get to know
each other more.
Maybe through the pool.
That'd be great!
I look forward to it.
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Music]
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
[Inaudible] [Ping
pong ball sound]
[Laughter]
Oh, what the
[Inaudible] [Laughter]
[Laughter]
[Indistinct conversation]
Hey, Mads.
[Laughs]
[Indistinct conversation]
Come on. come on, come on.
Ah!
You shot! You shot!
Uh, here we go.
Okay [Laughs]
[Engine starts]
[Laughter]
[Birds chirping]
[Music]
Guys, you're not supposed
to be on the lane lines.
Rules are rules,
keep doing it, I'm
telling your mom.
Threatening with
parental involvement.
Good move.
You're learning pretty fast.
I'm just glad he
didn't call my bluff.
I don't know his mom.
So, uh,
what are you doing Saturday?
There's a new nature
documentary coming out.
I'd probably watch that.
What's up?
Well, I'm having
another, like, party,
get together thing
on Saturday, and,
you know, totally no pressure.
You can invite
whoever you want, but
we really missed you last time.
You should come, man.
Yeah, sorry.
I got held up with,
uh, family thing.
Yeah, totally.
And, like, I wouldn't
want to rip you away
from any of your sick plans.
Oh, uh, you're good, by the way.
But it will be a good time.
We'll get some beers in us
and some dancing out of us.
I can't drink.
I'm not 21.
Shh!
Half the lifeguards I
worked with werent 21.
It never stopped them.
But if you do want to stop by,
partaking a few libations,
would be plenty to go around.
And if not, it's
just more for me.
[Chuckles]
Either way, you
should totally come.
We want to there.
Cool.
Awesome. Thank you.
[Water splashes]
[Whistle blows]
[Laughter]
[Water splash] [Whispering]
[Birds chirping]
Okay. Now, after
thirty compressions,
give him two breaths.
I thought it was sixty.
It's thirty.
I thought it was
thirty and one breath.
It's still two breaths.
Didn't they change it, though?
They did, it's sixty.
It's still thirty.
Why would they change it?
Are hearts different now?
It's thirty and two breaths.
Im sure of it.
I would trust the nerd.
Enough of this.
It's thirty and two breaths.
McSorley[?], continue.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
- Well... - Okay. - Let's see.
Did anything change?
Well, its a dummy so,
theres still no heartbeat.
God damn it!
We lost him!
Ugh!
Why must you take
him so young? Why?
There's no need for name calling
after what he's been
through, McHenry.
Well, he went swimming
without any arms or legs
so I would say he is a dummy.
Yeah. Who let him in the pool?
There should be a strike!
[Laughs]
Very humorous.
I'm actually cackling over here.
And you guys gotta
take this seriously.
You never know when
you gonna need it.
Alright?
Look, in all the
years I've been here,
the only incident we had
was little Billy Fisher
who got so sunburned, he had
to stay home for two months.
Yeah, Bill was in
my class that year.
Missed the whole
baseball season.
Jesus.
I have been here long.
Okay, let's switch it up.
Winston, why don't
you get down here?
[Smacks]
Scenario.
You're walking around the pool
and you see a man lying
face up by a table.
Uh-huh
There's a half eaten
hotdog next to him.
What do you think happened?
Diabetes?
Uh, I don't know.
A heart attack?
He still has a heartbeat,
but he's not breathing.
He was probably...
Choking?
Right?
Okay, so what do you wanna do?
You wanna tilt his head back
and with two finger,
stick it down, mouth
and dislodge the
hot dog down there.
Oh, I'm not doing that.
But you have to. It's your job.
That is food related.
Make one of the
food people do it.
You're a life guard.
It's clearly your jurisdiction.
I'm not sticking my fingers down
some old mans throat to
summon some half eaten hot dog.
Instead, I will use
his lifeless corpse
as a lesson on
chewing and patience.
Okay, fine.
If you want to stop someone
from being in this situation
in the first place,
you need to know the
Heimlich maneuver.
Everyone, partner up!
Partners?
Uh, yeah.
[Birds chirping]
Okay, wait.
Do you want?
Oh.
Ok. Now,
one of you get behind
the other person.
[Birds chirping]
Now, what you want to do
is the person in the back
wrap your arms around
the person in the front,
right under their sternum.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Way ahead of you.
Oh, yeah. Right here. Okay.
- All right.
- Yeah, cool. Yep. - Yeah.
It's okay, Mike.
Just think of it
like a prom picture.
I kind of did, uh,
go as a group thing.
I'm not doing this.
Come on.
No, look. I'm better than this.
And you're better than this.
We don't need to do this.
There is nothing
wrong with doing
a classic every once in a while.
No!
Just let me be Leo.
I may never get
this chance again.
Now put your arms out.
Now, from here
You take one fist
and you put it into
the other hand.
But I know for a
fact you do this
with David last year.
And you lift up
and in. [Mumbles]
Actually, let's not do that.
[Chuckles]
I-I-I just think this is
a little too weird for me.
Come on. I thought we
were close friends.
We just shouldn't be
doing this as coworkers.
Mhm.
Good point.
Sir, permission to not
do this training at all
and just do it on our time
and trust that.
Yeah.
This is a dumb idea.
Scrap it.
Let's get ready to open.
[Chill summer music playing]
[Chill summer music playing]
[Chill summer music playing]
[Chill summer music playing]
Oh. Hi, Norb.
Mrs. Parker.
How are you doing this
bright and breezy day?
I'm great.
I just wanted to check in
and make sure you
and your parents
are going to be attending
Lizzie's graduation party.
She graduating already?
Man, time really does fly.
I know.
Can you believe I have
a college student?
[Chuckles]
No, I really can't.
You look like a college
student yourself.
Oh, Norb. Stop it!
[Chuckles]
[Chill summer music playing]
I like Mrs. Parkers hat.
She was wearing a hat?
All righty, folks.
Bread is fresh out of the oven.
It's payday.
Lets See. We got...
Mikey.
We got Tory Glory.
And Kyle Style
Oh, man.
I really thought
this would be bigger.
I worked here every
day last week.
My rent takes half
of this right away.
This is B. S.
What? Do you think
you deserve more
for sitting in a chair all day?
As a matter of fact, I do.
I think we all should.
I reckon you should
be paid more, Kyle.
The system is designed
to keep the poor, poor
and the rich, rich.
Is that what you say
when you're off getting
your fancy coffees
and your nice bottles of wine?
You know, shut your face.
We need to...
I don't know...
Start a union. Go on strike!
Yeah, we, we cant do that.
And why not?
Because of this.
Uh, we tried to go on strike
my first year here, and
they just laid us off.
Basically, we came back
three weeks later
with no changes.
Replaced by a sign.
That hurts the ego.
Shut up.
[Tapping]
[Taps pen]
[Music]
[Footsteps approaching]
Oh, Mike.
Perfect timing.
Jaws is on TV.
Do you wanna come watch with me?
That little Kitner
boy just got eaten.
Oh, fun.
Quint is about to show up
and try to get the head,
the tail, the whole damn thing.
I was actually thinking
about going out tonight.
If that's alright?
Oh, really?
With who?
You don't have friends Mike.
Jeffrey!
Of course you can, honey.
Just don't be back too late.
Thank you.
I won't
But if I ended up
staying the night?
Staying the night?
Staying the night!
Yeah.
See you in the morning.
Thank you.
Good luck catching that fish.
[Television background music]
Do you wanna go out too?
Love you. Bye.
Perfect.
[Rock music plays]
What are you? A medium rare guy?
Medium rare.
Cheese?
Who am I kidding? Were
all getting cheese.
[Rock music plays]
Hey, man.
Hey, Jimmy.
I'm so glad you
could make it, man.
How have you been?
It's like once you've
tasted true Italian wine,
you can't go back to this
stuff. I would almost recommend
never trying good wine unless
you can have it every time.
If youre not gonna drink it...
Oh, I'm still going to drink it.
I'm just saying. [Chuckles]
[Door opens]
Charlie! [Door closes]
Hey, man.
Hey. Good to see you again.
Look at the mane! Oh, my God.
I know. I'm growing it out.
We're just, we're brothers
[Laughs]
And you. Hello.-Hi.
Your name is...
Rebecca.
Rebecca. [Inaudible]
- Hi, how are you?
- How you doing?
Im doing great.
Yeah me too.
It's c-, fantastic.
What's the record again?
Miguel Rodriguez.
Set in the summer of
06, 1.41 seconds.
I'm breaking it
right now. Ready?
Okay. Ready. Set. Go!
[Music plays]
[Gasps]
[Music plays]
Time.
[Belching]
I mean, if I was generou-, tha-,
it's 10.24.
[Laughs]
Get me another one.
I'm not gonna get you an-,
this is number 5.
You need a burger.
I bought it, actually.
[Chuckles]
Dude, you bought a house?
That's insane.
I don't wanna count
on my chickens,
but it looks like my girlfriend
and my job are pretty safe
bets for lifelong things.
The market was right
on all fronts, so.
Are you still planning
on staying here?
Yeah. I mean,
my bills, most of my
food's paid for, so...
Why would I leave?
Can't argue with that, I guess.
But you might be able to
afford your own rent and food
if you'd got a better job.
[Chuckles]
Yeah, but, while my
job lacks in pay,
definitely makes up for
nights like tonight.
Right.
New guy!
What's up?
Hey, Kyle.
Have you seen Norb?
I wanted to say hi and
thank him for inviting me.
Frick that!
Let's chug these beers!
Oh.
We're drinking until our piss
is clear tonight, Mikey Boy.
Sounds dangerous, but okay.
U. S. A.
[Music plays]
[Can drops]
WHOOOOO!
[Drunken coughing]
Oh, you already got one.
Nice.
Thank you, buddy.
Yeah.
No problem, Kyle. [Chuckles]
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
Cool place you have.
Yeah, it's my parents house.
Once they croack it's
all mine, though.
No, I'm just kidding.
I hope we all live forever.
Let's party.
[Background noise]
[Indistinct conversation]
I agree that he has an
interesting verbal style.
I just think it's
lacking in substance.
Oh my god! Are you Brenda?
I'm, like, the craziest
of all Crazy Brendas!
My gosh! Hello girl!
Thank you for your
love and support,
my love is your
love. [Screaming]
Like I was saying
I don't think that
Cummins[?] is saying
what he thinks he's saying.
[Water pouring]
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
Hey, Mike.
Do you know where the
graham crackers are?
We're making s'mores.
Oh, um, I don't,
but I'd guess the pantry.
I was thinking the same thing.
[Pantry door opens]
What are you doing?
Recycling?
Um,
yeah, kinda.
I've just been filling
the same can with water
and drinking from it,
so people think
I'm drinking beer
when I'm not.
[Laughs]
That's no way to have fun.
I know,
but I'm not supposed
to be drinking.
It is against the rules.
Whose rules?
The government's.
[Laughs]
[Pantry door closes] I thought
I'd be okay with it tonight, but
it's just not me.
[Footsteps]
What is it with you
and these rules?
Just logically makes sense.
If I break a rule I could
get hurt or in trouble.
So why do it?
[Cabinet door opens]
My parents would love you.
Oh, yeah?
[Cabinet door closes]
God, they piss me off.
My mom is always like,
should you really
be wearing that?
Should you really
be eating that?
I cant trim a
fingernail in that house
without them questioning it.
They just want
whats best for you.
Great! Now you
sound like my dad.
We should, five [Inaudible]
support my brothers
when we have the whole act.
Listen,
rules keep people safe.
Following the rules will
get me into a good college,
good job, good life.
Is that all you want?
A good life.
What's wrong with that?
Maybe focusing so hard
on having a good life
is keeping you from
living a great one.
And keeping me from
having a terrible one.
Its a safe bet.
It's still a bet, though.
I mean, there's no chance
that the world will
even exist tomorrow.
So live in the moment.
Also, you filling up
that beer can with water
is basically lying.
And us lifeguards, we have
a strict rule against lying.
So now what?
Now I'm very conflicted.
[Crunching sound]
And if you break the lying rule,
[Pouring]
you have to take a shot.
You do?
Yup.
Is it good?
Yeah, totally.
This one mostly taste
like strawberries.
[Clears throat]
Emma, where are the
crackers I requested?
We have perfectly
toasted marshmallows
with nothing to lay them upon!
I'll be out in a second!
Oh.
[Indistinct chatter]
Prom's up.
[Coughs]
You broke the lying rule.
You broke the lying rule.
Yo, Jimmy, you heading out?
Yeah, man. I got
shit to do tomorrow.
BOOOO! LAME-O!!
Listen Norb,
as a prosecuting
attorney for the city,
I'm gonna look past the
fact that you're buying
and serving alcohol
to a bunch of minors.
But as your friend of 27 years,
I don't want to look past
the fact that you're buying
and serving alcohol
to a bunch of minors.
I'm just having some drinks
with my coworkers after work.
Its the same as you.
Some of your coworkers
don't even have their GED!
I-I mean look.
[Liquid splashing]
[Laughs]
[Can drops]
[Laughs]
You all have some
growing up to do.
See you, Norb.
[Music playing over bonfire]
I've talked to the higher ups,
and you new guards have
passed the trial period.
Oh, I didn't even know we
we're in a trial period.
We would like to
officially welcome you
to the lifeguard Brotherhood.
[Clears throat]
Brotherhood?
Or sisterhood or whatever.
The Order of the Lifeguard.
Oh!
Thank you! Ive really
been enjoying my...
Which means we
need to brand you.
Winston!
We've all done it, Mike.
If you want to be a real Red
Cross certified lifeguard,
then you need a real Red Cross,
on the ass!
He's totally kidding.
We do not do that!
Dang it, Emma!
He was really going for it.
You are vile.
Screw it.
I'll do it.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely
McHenry. No.
Let's go.
I love this kid.
[Laughs]
Alright, if anyone asks,
I was not around
when this happened.
[Unzipping pants]
This is illegal in so many ways.
You're not gonna sue
me or anything, right?
Just freaking do it.
[Sizzling sound]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[Laughter]
Oh my gosh!
You're not in the beer cooler.
Get your ass back here!
I gotta do the other line.
Screw you!
I can't believe
that just happened.
This is absolutely insane.
Like, for part two.
We're gonna need
some of ass-burgers
for those ass-beers.
[Laughs]
Hey, my cousin has Asperger's
You know...
Didn't think about that
one when I said it.
I apologize.
Norb, did you queue this up?
I don't know. I mean...
It's a pretty great song.
I wouldn't be surprised if
any one of us put it on.
It is so annoying.
Look, once you start liking it,
you will never get tired of it.
Stop trying to exposure
therapy us to this song.
As a believer in science
and partying, I will not.
But I will get the
next round of beers.
Anybody want one?
Hey, Mike, what about you?
Sure.
[Slaps]
[Music plays]
Hey, uh, I'm gonna need
a couple beers out there.
Thank you.
I'm gonna go get
some cups for these.
[Music plays]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Inaudible]
[Music]
[Indistinct chatter] [Music]
[Indistinct chatter] [Music]
[Music]
Is this one a seltzer?
[Music]
It's bubbly.
This tastes like root beer.
It has alcohol in it?
I don't believe you.
An IPA, you say?
[Music]
Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[Music] [Indistinct chatter]
[Music] [Indistinct chatter]
[Laughs]
[Music] [Indistinct chatter]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
Hey.
Hope I didn't peer pressure
you too much earlier.
I just like seeing
people have a good time.
I'm glad you did.
I actually had a
lot of fun tonight.
Like, more fun than
I've had in a while.
Good. Im glad.
I admit. I'm a bad influence.
Its why I can never work
with kids. [Chuckles]
Is that something
you'd want to do?
Yeah. For sure.
But, I mean, I can't
Think of it this way,
how am I supposed to tell
a kid to not do bad things
when I myself have, and
will continue to do,
bad things, you know?
I mean, you were pretty
convincing to me tonight.
I listened to you.
So maybe you should do the same
thing with kids but you know
like peer pressure them into
eating vegetables or whatnot.
[Laughs]
Yeah. I could, like, bully a kid
into eating healthy and
learning math. [Chuckles]
[Screeching sound]
Do you ever think there's
anyone else out there?
With how much is out there,
seems like there has to be.
But that's really
easy to feel alone.
I like to think so.
Like, maybe there's some parallel
version of myself out there.
And every time I'm
having a really bad day,
maybe theyre having
a really good one.
Which sounds
really stupid now that I say it.
Sorry.
Its not stupid.
I totally get that.
My poor parallel self must
be having a terrible night,
because I'm having such
a stellar one here.
[Laughs]
Cheers.
To our parallel selves,
that they have many
more bad days to come.
Is that selfish of us to wish?
Were wishing it
upon ourselves so,
technically, no.
I can get behind that logic
[Laughs]
To us and us.
Cheers!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco? - Polo!
- Marco?
- Polo! [Lawn mower running]
Marco Polo was a slave trader.
If that gets those
kids to shut up.
I'll go tell 'em.
Good morning, Krusty crew!
Hey, don't worry folks.
I got your coffee.
Jesus! Thank you.
Kyle with the Tyra Banks.
What?
Tall black and hot.
Oh! Yeah.
And we got iced latte
for the nice 'laytte'.
You are a saint, Norb
What do we owe you, by the way?
About 6 each.
Mhm.
Getting more
expensive by the day.
Thanks, Biden.
And we got Mikey
with the lattie.
Oh, uh,
Im actually not supposed to have
coffee till Im done growing.
Add it to the list of new
beverages you've tried this week.
Good point.
Wow. This is amazing.
You need all that
cream and sugar
like a bunch of babies.
A real man doesn't
need any of that.
Oh! Yeah!
I gotta burn my
tongue every morning
to prove that I'm a man.
Ugh!
That would be pretty
manly. [Chuckles]
Thanks for the coffee
and thank you again for
having me last night.
Mm-hmm, thank you.
You're welcome,
Michael.
[Music plays]
[Music]
[Music]
You think I should start
drinking protein shakes?
Yuck, man!
My, uh, football coach
used to try to make us
drink those to get bigger.
It's terrible.
I dont like being so scrawny.
I think being a bit
bigger would be better for
attracting potential
mates, whatever?
Mickeys trying to
knock some boots!
[Laughter]
Actually, I don't know.
Look, girls don't really care
about muscles and all that.
They really don't focus
on guys bodies at all.
Really?
Yeah, like girls
care about, like,
more different kinds of things.
Like, you know,
planning a Saturday
or having a bed
with a head board.
You know, dumb,
dumb shit like that.
It's easy for you to say.
You already have a great body.
Yeah, but girls like...
Well, [Snaps]
thanks, by the way.
But, uh, girls just don't
care about bodies. [Inaudible]
It's really all I'm saying.
If anything, you
should just start
drinking normal
milkshakes and get chubby.
Chicks dig big, chubby guys
to cuddle up with at night.
No way! [Chuckles]
You think I drink beers
every day for the fun of it?
Got to keep this belly
in tip top shape.
I'm so proud of you
for being so strict
with your diet.
No less than four
Budweiser's a day. [Chuckles]
It's hard, but totally worth it.
[Laughs]
Well, you know, instead of
just, like, sitting around
debating what women want,
why don't we just ask one?
They exist.
Hey, Emma!
Wait, no.
Can you come over here?
- Wait! No. - Oh, yeah. Shit!
- What? - Look at us.
Well, dude I, I know
she's intimidating,
but she's actually really nice.
I cant get tips on getting
girls from the girl...
Uh!
You dog!
[Barking noises]
What's up, guys!
- Hello. - Hey, Emma.
Um, I was actually
just wondering
if you could go clean up
some trash around the pool.
People have been
leaving stuff behind.
I was literally just doing that.
Well. Great job.
Uh, very proactive.
And, that's why we
keep you around.
What do you find
attractive in men?
I don't know.
Uh, I guess I like a guy that
doesnt wanna hold me back.
Like, helps me let loose.
Break free a little bit.
Like, what about bodies?
Like you like big muscles? or...
Mm-mhm, nah. I don't
need anything crazy.
Just as long as a
guy can lift me.
Lift you?
Sometimes I like to be lifted.
Sometimes I need to be lifted.
[Music]
See you later, Tori.
You folks, have a great day.
[Music]
[Beeping noise]
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes]
[Pressing window down]
[Music]
[Engine starts]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Engine sound]
No littering is a good rule.
Okay, team.
We've got another
hot and sunny day.
We've got our morning swim
and then the regular patrons
will be here in the masses
before you could say
chlorine levels check.
We're gonna be doing the
classic buddy system today.
You and your partner will go up,
then surveillance
and maintenance,
and then back down.
This is gonna be a constant
30 minute rotation.
I am now going to assign buddys
in no particular
order or reason.
We've got Tory and Brenda.
McHenry and myself,
and then Mike and Emma.
Uh, Mike and Emma.
You guys can start by
putting the lane lines up.
[Clicks tongue]
[Water splashing]
Question.
How do you like the
college youre at?
Im narrowing my list
of schools to apply to.
It's on Harvard where
I'm sure youll end up.
I mean, [Chuckles] I might
apply and go if they have me,
but...
[Water splashing]
I found a good fit for me.
What are you studying?
Accounting. Right now.
Accounting?
Doesnt really sound like a
career involving children.
Uh, well, it's not, um,
but I don't,
I dont know its,
it's a safe path.
Safe path? Wow.
You went after my own heart.
[Laughs]
Do you like it?
God, no.
You shouldn't do it then.
[Water splashing]
[Water splashing]
So, on the topic of
career paths and such,
how have you been liking
being lifeguard this summer?
I've actually really
been enjoying the summer.
Never hung out with such...
Degenerates!
I was gonna say interesting
people. [Chuckles]
Thanks for welcoming
in a square like me.
Youre not a square, Mike.
You're one of us now.
We like you.
I like you
Uh, as lifeguards,
people and lifeguards.
Thank you. I'm sorry.
[Laughs]
Come on, let's go hang out
before the main crowd gets here.
Oh, uh, I'll probably just
swim a few laps while I can.
Oh, okay.
Oh my God.
Please leave!
I just gotta swim
of this one off.
Good morning.
[Indistinct chatter] I don't know maybe 6 A.M. tomorrow?
- Yeah.
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
Okay. I'm good.
[Splashing sound]
So Mike totally has
the hots for you, Emma.
Yeah, I was thinking
the same thing.
Are you sure?
First off, who wouldn't?
Second off, he does
[Chuckles]
Thank you.
So, are you going to
do anything about it?
Blow his mind.
Hes pretty cute.
Mm-hmm, I don't know.
Hes still in high school.
I told myself I'd leave high
school boys in high school.
He's 18 already.
And it's not like you're gonna
see him in Anatomy together.
Yeah. I guess you're right.
Doesnt mean he wont
study it though.
[Laughs]
[Patriotic music plays]
[Patriotic music plays]
[Patriotic music plays]
4th of July weekend, folks.
The summer activities are set.
And I've got eight hours
of the best American
USA music available.
I even threw in a few
quotes and speeches.
What is your favorite
patriotic song, Tory?
You can play all the nationalist
propaganda that you want.
Won't convince me America
is a good country.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all well aware
of your anti-American
communist opinions.
I just don't think there's
a lot to celebrate.
America's by no means
perfect, but what is?
Probably China?
America is the greatest
country in the world.
Period!
Well articulated, Kyle.
I'm on his side now.
We are the richest
country in the world,
and we don't have
universal health care.
Where does all the
money go? Our military.
The only reason we need...
We've all seen the
opening to the newsroom.
I get it, but it
ain't all that bad.
It's pretty bad.
Haven't you ever had some
dark moments in your past?
Maybe something you regret.
We still celebrate your
birthday, don't we?
My dark moments are more
on a drunk hookup level,
not a full on neo-Nazi
marching in the street level.
So what you're saying
is that you don't
like the government
and that we need
some massive changes.
It's funny.
I remember a few
great men having that
same idea just a few
hundred years ago.
Great men?
They were all slave owners.
Nobody's perfect. Okay?
But America has created
some really amazing things.
Like Cedar Point,
the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.
Raegan!
And those are both in Cleveland.
You think we've
atoned for slavery
by having the Rock
n Roll Hall of Fame?
Brenda, you're on my side.
Well, I agree with you,
that there is a poor
allocation of resources
and many systematic issues
dating back to the
founding of our country.
The fact that we even feel
the need to choose sides
is an issue in and of itself.
I don't know what you just said,
but it sounded unpatriotic.
In more colloquial terms,
America is hashtag complex.
I think the point that
we're trying to make
is that despite our flaws
and our past faults,
America has been a
civilization of people
that create the
best, the fastest,
the easiest things
and the most wonderful things.
You know, are some people
just in it for themselves?
Yeah.
And unfortunately, those
people are winning.
Nice guys finish last,
is unfortunately,
a true concept.
Are we the greatest
country in the world?
Number one.
I don't know,
but what I do know
is that there's plenty
of things in this country
worth celebrating
for at least one day.
I mean, I'm looking at four
of the greatest American
things right now.
[Scoffs]
Okay. Okay, okay.
I will celebrate all
of the good friends
I have that were born
in the U.S. of A.
Yeah, that's the spirit.
But I am not wearing a
bunch of stars and stripes.
It's looking really awesome.
I bet. I can't wait to see it.
You know, I'm supposed to be
putting the face paint on you.
Yeah, but I like
drawing and painting.
Plus, red and blue
aren't my colors.
Okay.
[Upbeat music plays]
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
for our next event
of the evening,
it's time for the adults
to have a little fun.
I'm going to need all the dads
to line up at the diving board,
because it is time for
the annual Dad Beer Toss.
Now, the rules are simple.
You catch the beer,
you get to keep it.
If you drop it,
well, you still get to keep it.
But we will think
less of you as men.
Maggie, are you ready?
I've been ready since last year.
Then let those beers fly!
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
Oh, yeah. [Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
Bye, guys.
- See you later. - Thank you.
Come back again.
Thanks, everyone.
Happy 4th of July.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Gate closes]
[Upbeat music]
[Pouring sound]
[Laughter]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Upbeat music]
Nice blowing technique.
Thanks.
You know, I've always
found fireworks
to be really romantic.
Really?
I've always found them to
be extreme safety hazards.
Of course you do.
Where are my sparklers?
I wanna set something on fire!
Look.
Most people find
them to be romantic.
Most lifeguards.
Most girls.
Oh.
I'm saying you
should go ask Emma
to sit next to you
during the fireworks.
Yeah, I go-, got that part.
Okay, good.
Boys are so dumb!
[Upbeat music]
Hi, Emma!
Hey, Mike.
Are you excited to
watch the fireworks?
Yeah.
I was wondering,
do you have anyone
you're watching the
fireworks with yet?
You mean, like, watch the
fireworks with someone?
Um, yeah, I guess,
which sounds really stupid
now that I think about it.
No, that's cute. I'm flattered.
A boy hasnt asked me
to watch the fireworks
with him since like
the fifth grade.
Although it was my cousin,
so it's pretty weird.
Well, the good thing about me is
I'm not your cousin.
[Rock music plays]
Hey, hey, hey, kiddos.
Who wants an Island drink?
We're gonna start with
two ounces of some
nice white rum.
Followed by a nice amount
of pineapple juice.
Top it all up
with a splash of cranberry.
[Music plays]
[Water splashing]
Oh!
[Laughter]
[Music plays]
Yeah, I always loved Tom cruise.
You guys...
[Object falls]
So who wants a beer?
[Music plays]
[Music]
[Shouting] [Music]
Hey, uh, who's
queuing up the tunes?
I would like to make a request.
What do you want?
You know, I don't
remember the name,
but I think I know
what to search for,
if I just look for the album,
I could probably find it.
NO! It's gonna be that,
that, that "Take Your
Clothes Off" song.
What?
Is this true, Norb?
No. I,
I have...
Sorry, Norb.
I got a orient tunes
in a democratic
way on the fourth.
A playlist, uh, of the people,
by the people, for the people.
Yeah, I cant argue with that.
[Music]
[Water splashing]
[Water splashing]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[People cheering]
Yeah! Whoo!
Now we wont float
away from each other.
Hey, I'm really glad
you're working here this summer.
I am too.
Of all the people I've
ever worked with or met,
youre the first person
that take me seriously.
You're the first person I
can be unserious around.
Maggie! Delivery.
[People cheering]
[Fireworks explosion
in distance]
[People cheering]
[Music plays]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Fireworks explosion] [Music]
[Music]
[Background noise]
[Birds chirping]
[Lawn mower noise]
Norb!
[Water splashing]
[Birds chirping]
Oh. Hey, Tim.
You care to explain yourself?
What the hell happened
here last night?
Well, in summary, I guess, like,
a couple hundred years ago,
these guys signed
a piece of paper.
So in honor of that,
we got blacked out.
Damn it, Norb.
This place is a mess.
We open in an hour.
Uh, 15 minute power clean.
No problem.
Get out of the pool.
Jeez
[Background noise]
[Background noise]
[Birds chirping]
[Loud bang]
Winston!
[Door opens]
What the hell is this?
McHenry.
Oh! Hey, you guys.
What did you guys do?
Just a little late
night training.
Yeah, I mean, look
at it this way.
We were pretty drunk
when we strapped him in there
and it's pretty secure.
So I'd say if we ever have
to do this during the day.
No problem.
[Laughs]
Just get him down from there.
How are you feeling, champ?
I actually feel
really good, but...
can you give me, like,
ten more minutes?
[Unstrapping]
[Background noise]
Ow.
[Birds chirping]
How are you feeling?
So thirsty.
[Chuckles]
I must be really hangover.
Oh, honey.
You're sitting up
and you're speaking
in complete sentences.
Youll have way worse
hangovers than this.
That's exciting to
look forward to.
How are you feeling?
Really good, actually.
Im glad we did this.
Me too.
Can I,
can I...
Can you kiss me again?
Yeah.
Yes, you can.
[Kissing]
So, what do we about the others?
Like, should we tell them?
Mm-mhm,
I don't think we
need to walk around
with shirts that say
"we hooked up" on them.
But I wont deny
it if anybody asks.
I won't deny it.
Not sure if they'll believe me.
[Laughs]
I don't believe it myself.
[Yawns]
Come on.
Let's go find some coffee.
Do you work today?
Yup.
Double shift.
Oh.
Double shift after the fourth.
Yeah, that's a new guy classic.
[Exhales]
What about you?
Yeah. I'm not here
until the afternoon.
So Im gonna have a nap first.
[Sighs] - Jealous.
[Chuckles]
[Background noise]
[Birds chirping]
[Background noise]
[Birds chirping]
I'm pretty sure I barfed
somewhere last night
but I can't remember where.
Well, if you find it,
can you, like, clean it up?
Was I on the golf
course last night?
[Running] [Bird chirping]
Hey, Winston.
Can you, like, get
up in the chair?
I'll get you next rotation.
[Water splash]
[Background noise]
[Footsteps approaching]
Holy shit.
Norb?
Oh! No way.
Is That Brett Crumbly?
Yeah. You're still here?
Yeah. Where else would I be?
Hey, man. Good to see you.
Oh, it's been forever.
- Yeah, man.
Yo, Mike, this is Brett Crumbly.
Legendary lifeguard from
when I started here.
So, what brings you here?
My wife.
I have a wife now.
Yeah, her parents
actually belong here,
and we're here for
the weekend, so...
You guys look properly
hangover, though.
I'd take it the 4th of
July party went well
Dude. Big time.
[Inhales]
[Exhales]
I really miss hanging
out with you guys.
I wish you could
make my parties.
[Sighs]
Those were good memories,
but I can't be
doing that anymore.
We're actually having a baby.
Oh, dude. Bummer.
No, we wanted one.
It was actually intentional.
Congratulations then.
[Chuckles]
Thank you. Yeah.
I'm super excited.
I'm gonna love that little
prince. And my wife?
She's a queen.
And she's not even
secretly listening
to this conversation
or anything.
I really mean it.
[Chuckles]
I'm happy to hear
that for you dude.
Yeah. Lifes good.
Well, hey, family is
waiting for me. Uh,
cornhole loser has to
buy dinner tonight,
so I gotta prepare.
Well, if I remember correctly,
I think youll be ok.
All right.
Take care.
Have a good one.
You know, we could, like,
hang out some time. Catch up?
I haven't seen you
in years, dude.
[Sighs] - Yeah, man.
I'll try to fit
you in my schedule.
Um, I have a lot going
on, but yeah, um,
yeah, maybe Ill run into you.
Man, I really used to
look up to that guy.
I wanted to be just like him.
Wanted or want?
Very wise insight, my friend.
I have much to ponder now.
I literally didn't hear you.
My headache is so bad,
the pounding is drowning
out regular noise.
[Music plays]
[Music]
Hey, Mike.
'What About Bob' is on.
Just started.
I'm actually gonna go out again,
if that's all right?
Probably end up sleeping over.
You go have fun!
Later. Love you!
[Upbeat music continues]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
Going out again.
Don't you wanted
dinner? I made tacos.
No can do. Ill be back later.
You know, this new, uh,
confident Mike is concerning.
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Upbeat music]
[Birds chirping]
Is that a good book?
Im intrigued
enough to finish it.
Cool.
I'm currently reading
well, rereading, actually,
Michelle Obama's newest book.
It is amazing.
She is such a
personal hero of mine.
That is really cool, Tory.
[Whistle blows]
Stop running, Tommy!
[Sighs]
So, McHenry,
in the most correctly
appropriate way possible,
how's your ass feeling today?
[Laughs]
Dude, it's still
freaking hurts, man.
Man, You are a mad-man.
I know, dude. I love doing
crazy stuff like that.
It's the best.
And it's still like,
so cool that you
party like that too.
W-what do you mean, still?
- Well, like, you know, my brothers, they...
- Mm-hmm.
They're all about
discipline nowadays,
and getting up early and
like schoolwork and stuff.
Its so lame.
Yeah.
My life is totally
awesome. [Chuckles]
Hey, Mike, do you have
any plans this week?
I was thinking about
having the guards over
for a dinner party.
Try to have a respectable
evening for once.
[Music and party noises]
Let's go!
Yeah!
Oh! Oh!
[Party music plays]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Party music plays]
[Indistinct chatter]
You do this one.
I'm totally wasted.
[Laughs]
Hi Maggie, Im wasted.
Wait.
[Laughs]
This is for all my fans.
[Fart noise]
[Laughs]
Good stuff. You should
totally post that.
Dude, we should go
to the gas station
and see if you
can buy some beer.
What do you mean?
Can't you just buy it?
Well, yeah, um, but,
I buy beer all the time.
We should see if you can do it.
I don't understand.
Why would we do that?
[Chuckles] [Police siren]
'Cause it's fun, dude.
We go in, and if they
don't sell it to you,
and they, like, chase
us down the street,
and we just run
as fast as we can
to the next place and see
if they'll sell to you.
- Oh. - Oh.
Oh, God.
[Crosstalk]
We received a report of a TikTok
inviting every hot high schooler
from Monroe High
to this address?
Shit.
You don't look like a
hot high school chick,
so you're not welcome.
Oh, I'm sure he'll leave now.
All right, I'm gonna
need to see some IDs.
Don't worry, you guys.
I'll handle this.
Look,
I'm a lifeguard.
And you're a police officer.
Our jobs really aren't
that different, right?
Like we save people.
So, can I speak to you
as a fellow officer of the law?
No.
Shit.
We got a runner.
Go! go! S-shit. Oh!
[Running]
[Police sirens]
[Background noise]
[Background noise]
Nice going, Brenda.
It's sarcasm.
You were the one that kept
telling her to post the video.
Yeah.
Plus, Mike was the one
who started running
in the first place.
Are you seriously blaming me?
I'm going to jail
because of you people.
Whoa! Whoa!
We didn't make you do anything.
You made me drink.
You made me break the law.
I never got into any trouble
before I met you psychos.
Sorry for trying to
show you a good time.
You were just having a good time
watching me break bad.
You used me, Emma.
I did not use you.
I was just your summer
entertainment, wasn't I?
Someone you could convince
to have a few drinks
with, have sex with,
and then just leave.
That's not what I did.
Why dont you just go back
to your dumb little
party school,
and leave me alone.
You are way out of line, dude.
I was wondering when you
were going to butt in
and make this about yourself.
How am I making
this about myself?
That's what you SJWs always do.
You gotta throw your two
pennies on every subject.
I was defending my
friend, you dipshit.
Look, can everybody
please stop fighting?
One of these days, we're
gonna look back on this
and we'll have a big laugh.
Oh, and say, "Hey, remember
when we were young and dumb?"
Take a look in the mirror, dude.
[Background noise]
[Engine noise]
[Car door opens]
[Footsteps approaching]
Looks like you're free to go.
[Background noise]
Jimmy?
What are you doing here?
I was in the neighborhood.
I saw the lights.
What did you do?
I was able to make a few calls.
I talked to the officer,
and let's just say you all have
a lot of public
service coming up.
Dude. Thank you so mu...
I told them that
it was the best way
for you all to learn
how to act like adults.
You kids have a good night.
[Car door opens]
[Car door closes]
[Objects clattering]
[Indistinct chatter]
This omelet is egg-cellent.
[Indistinct chatter]
Whats got you down, sport?
Im finished?
Now, why would you say
something like that?
Because Mike is right.
I'm almost 30.
And I really need to get
a real job or something.
I agree.
So what's been holding you back?
You know, when you're young
and everybody's always asking
you like what's next for you?
What are you gonna
be when you grow up?
They always tell you that,
you have your whole
life ahead of you
and that youre so young.
Well, eventually they
stop saying that.
Instead, they start saying,
"What happened?" Or,
"What a waste."
I guess, I just
really wasn't ready
to make the jump from
one thing to the next.
And I thought that
if I just forced it,
that maybe
I could still have
everything ahead of me.
You know, when I first
started at the club,
I was too scared
to do a flip off
the diving board.
I got all the way to the end,
and I just do a cannonball.
It was safe, it was easy.
And then one day,
another young guard
came up to me.
And he told me that
safe and easy path
is always gonna be there.
You can always go back to it.
But, there is a whole
other world out there
that's just one diving
board flip away.
You just have to choose to jump.
You know who said that to me?
Was it me?
No.
It was Winston.
Yeah, I said that.
Good advice.
Yeah, I know.
I-I-I just don't even know
what to say to you right now.
Can you please
just stop shouting?
My headache is killing me.
It should be, mister.
Is this the kind of
person you are now?
I just want to know
what to expect.
I thought you wanted
me to get into trouble.
What are you talking about?
I was on the couch,
you were talking to Jeff,
saying how I'm lame,
wont amount to anything cool.
That is not what we said.
If verbatim was.
I was thinking more
along the lines of,
"Hey, maybe going out
with some friends."
Maybe splitting a beer,
not ending up in the drunk tank.
I got to go to work.
You are quitting that job.
It has been no good for you.
[Birds chirping]
I really don't know what to say
to you all right now.
Sir, this is all my fault.
I should take all the blame.
I should fire all of you.
Especially you, Norb.
Please don't.
All right.
There's two weeks
left until Labor Day.
Youll work the
rest of the season,
but no promises
you'll have a job here
next Memorial Day.
[Exhales]
All right.
It's gonna be the 90s today.
We're going to be packed.
Go get ready to open.
Hey, I'm really sorry
for getting in
trouble last night.
You got me into a
lot more than that.
Yeah, I know, I'm
really sorry, dude.
It's all been amazing.
I know Im a square, but
you welcomed me anyways.
First time anyone's
ever done that for me.
Dont let that part
of you ever change.
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Laughter]
Those were some
good cheese cakes.
Yeah.
What's your favorite?
[Laughs]
My favorite, that'd be
a chocolate strawberry.
My favorite is, like, Mexican.
How's it going girls?
Hey.
[Laughs]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Laughter]
- House rules. - I'm not gonna,
Im not gonna do that.
Because I've been
here longer than you.
And so, house seniority.
See?
If you think of it like
a line of succession.
Right. Like I'm higher
up and therefore...
But then again, I dont want
to get too hierarchical.
Im gonna be honest,
I'm waiting for you
to stop talking. Because I...
- Wow. [Inaudible] - Wow. Okay. That's fine.
- That's
seniority you should [Crosstalk]
That's fine.
You know,
[Crosstalk] theres been some
lingering resentment here
and Im wondering why.
Hey.
Hottest day of the
year, isn't it?
Yup.
If you want, I could go
get you an ice water.
That would actually be...
I won't.
I could,
but I won't.
Why are we mad at each other?
I dont know.
I drive my daddys truck,
drink my mommas beer,
but I got my own...
- I'm gonna punch you in the...
- girl - ...throat.
I got my daddys truck,
and my mommas beer,
and I got my own girl.
Excuse me.
Hi, how can I help?
My son over there
said he's banned
from the diving boards.
Which kid are you talking about?
Cool little dude over there
in the blue swimsuit.
[Water splash]
Oh,
yeah, right.
Yeah.
We had to ban him
from the diving boards
because he kept running up
and pushing people off.
Oh my God.
He pushed people off
the diving boards?
Did they fall into the
water safely below them?
He's got a point.
Kyle, will you just...
They were going to
jump off anyways.
What's the big idea?
We asked him repeatedly
to stop and he wouldn't.
So he's banned for now.
Listen, we don't pay 8k a year
to not use the diving boards
and not use the bathroom,
and not use a
complimentary towels.
We got complimentary towels?
I pay 8k a year to
use a diving boards,
and use the bathrooms.
And I'll take any
dang towel I want.
Because last year
in the P.B. Benson
Memorial Golf Outing,
I came in fifth.
Now, what do you
have to say to that?
I say your kid is still
banned and now you are too.
[Chuckles] - You're gonna ban
me from the diving boards?
The guy that came in fifth
in the P.B. Benson
Memorial Golf Outing.
Are you serious?
Yes.
You just made a big mistake.
Hey, don't you go off
those diving boards.
I'm freaking gonna!
[Footsteps]
Really?
[Footsteps]
Sir, can you please
stop being such an ass.
Watch this Jack Knife
[Bangs head]
[Water splashing]
[Background noise]
[Music]
[Music]
[Whistles]
[Music] [Water splash]
[Music] [Water splash]
Call an ambulance.
Way ahead of you.
Emma, you go assist.
Got it.
Brenda, get off your phone!
Don't stop live streaming.
[Music]
Oh, shit. What now?
Ugh! Seriously?
Are, are you choking?
[Choking]
[Water splash]
I got him.
[water splashing]
Emma I need a tube
under his legs.
Leg tube coming under.
Norb, bringing him to you now.
Got it.
Is he breathing?
I don't think so.
We got to get him out now.
I'm gonna go let
the paramedics in.
Ok, seven minutes.
Brace cushions on.
Head straps.
Head strap on.
Pull him out in one, two, three.
[Water splash]
[Music]
Norb, any signs of breathing?
No, nothing.
Emma, get some gloves on.
I need you to try and
stop the bleeding.
I'm gonna start with
the chest compressions.
Norb, get ready with
the resuscitater.
Got it.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Five. Six. Seven.
Eight. Nine. Ten.
Eleven. Twelve.
Hey! Whoa! No. No Im so-,
I need all of you to
take five big steps back.
All right. We need to
give the guards some room.
We need to keep this area clear.
Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.
Ready with the buzz[?]?
Ready.
Twenty-five. Twenty-six.
Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-nine. Thirty.
Norb, two breaths.
[Blows air]
[Blows air]
Anything?
Still nothing.
Winston, it's gotta be
stuck in his throat,
I need you to check.
Oh. Come on. Seriously?
Yes. Just trust me.
[Choking]
Ugh!
Ugh!
I am just having the worst day.
Oh, I think I see it.
Seven. Eight. Nine.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
Thirteen. Fourteen.
Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen.
Eighteen. Nineteen.
Give me two more breaths
in a moment, Norb.
Got it.
Twenty-five. Twenty-six.
Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-nine. Thirty.
Norb, two breaths.
[Blows air]
[Blows air]
Anything?
Nothing.
After this round, we'll switch.
I'm getting tired.
Okay.
What's going on?
Please, sir.
Hey, you all need to sit down.
Everybody needs
to listen to her.
She's in charge, and she
knows a lot more than you do.
Now sit down, idiots!
[Clears throat]
Thank you, Kyle.
I got your back.
[Choking]
Do you see it?
Oh, I think I see it.
Then get it out!
I think I touched it!
[Squelchy sound]
[Coughs]
Thank you guys.
Don't mention it.
The head bleeding has stopped.
Thank you.
Five. Six. Seven. Eight.
Nine. Ten.
[Coughs]
Here. Get this whole thing on its side.
- Yeap.
[Coughs]
All right, put him
back down slowly.
[Coughing]
This water isnt
even freaking cold.
[Sighs]
[Birds chirping]
[Water pouring]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Car stereo playing]
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Dog barking]
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Mike.
What time is it?
Just after ten.
[Car honks]
I was supposed to be home at 9
P.M.
A few nights ago.
[Can clinks]
Anyway,
mom still pissed at you?
Yeah.
[Sighs]
Don't worry. Just keep
doing whatever she says for a
few days and it'll blow over.
[Sighs]
Well, since it's your,
uh, first offense,
guess I'll help take
the heat off you.
You know, I'm sure
my return here
will piss her off enough
to make her forget
about whatever you did.
Did you stay out and
get in trouble for me?
Yeah. It was
mutually beneficial.
Maybe next time I'll
take you with me.
That'd be cool.
[Sighs]
[Tap on the back]
Oh, mother!
I'm home!
[Phone rings]
Hey, Tory.
Hey, Mike.
Are you going to be
around this Friday?
We get our final paychecks,
do a bit of clean
up, say our goodbyes.
It would be really nice
if you could swing by.
Yeah, I'll be there.
[Laughs]
Oh my gosh.
I can't believe we got this all.
Oh my God.
[Laughter]
When you said that, that
was, like, what are you-,
what does that even mean?
[Laughs]
You can say that in any context.
- That was our day one
You're right. [Laughter] - Yeah.
I was nervous.
Gross.
Honestly, he should
have drowned.
Valid.
Oh.
[Laughs]
Hey, um, I just wanted
to say thank you
for helping me
out the other day.
I really appreciate that.
I know you independent women
like to defend
yourselves and such,
but I got your back.
What about you, though?
Coming back?
[Laughs]
I don't think so, little man.
I gotta get a law
internship or something.
Build up the old resume
Dang, Ok.
Mhm-mhm.
You will have to carry on
the shenanigans without me.
That would be my honor.
What about you, Norbert?
Oh, um, actually, I'm
becoming a student again.
Really? Where at, man?
The firefighters academy.
[Laughs]
That is really awesome, Norb.
I'm happy for you.
Thanks, dude.
But that's not
even the best part.
In honor of my many years
of excellent service
and awesome personality...
Right.
The club has decided
to make me a member.
[Laughs]
Guess I will see
you next year, then.
Yep.
And guess what?
It means you really
gotta listen to me.
[Laughs]
You're screwed, boss.
Yes, sir.
Mhm-mhm.
Mag-attack.
How the hell are you?
I'm just chummy.
You know, with me being gone,
the Lifeguards are
gonna need a new leader.
Your head guard whistle. Really?
Now, this is symbolic.
That whistle has been in my
mouth for, like, six years.
I'm probably gonna
be buried with it.
Totally.
I'm honored and will do
everything to uphold your legacy.
Hi, Honored and we'll do
everything to uphold your legacy.
I'm Norb.
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
Hey, Emma.
I'm so, so sorry.
I am sorry too, Mike.
What even are we? Or were we?
I believe this is
what the scholars
refer to as a summer fling.
Just a fling.
You don't want a
long distance date,
a guy in high school
while you're in college.
[Laughs]
I really don't.
Don't take it personally.
I don't. I get it.
But, um, it has come
to my understanding
that you're gonna be
visiting colleges this year.
I mean, I'm sure you'll
end up at Harvard, though.
I'll reach if anything.
You come to my
school for weekend.
I'll give you an
unofficial tour.
You can count on it.
I, uh, I might actually
be there four more years
since I changed my major.
Oh, yeah? What to?
Early childhood education.
That's great.
With a minor in finance.
Just in case.
Just in case.
You still carry around
that rulebook with you?
Yeah. I mostly leave
it in the car now.
Add this to it.
Hey, Emma. You ready?
Yes!
I'm out of here.
[Birds chirping]
Hey, Mikey.
Hey, guys.
I guess I should head out too.
You know, uh, Winston
and I are gonna be
be shutting this place
down, draining the pool.
You absolutely dont
have to help us.
But you can hang
around if you want.
Nah, that's a newbies job.
It's not me anymore.
Get out of here.
I'll see you guys around.
Alright, Winston.
Ready to shut this place down?
I gotta head out too,
actually. Back to school.
Damn.
Alright, well, on your way.
You know, I can use some
alone time here anyway.
I had a feeling that
would be the case.
I'm just going to grab
my bag from the shack.
[Music playing]
[Music]
[Music]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds chirping]
[Upbeat music plays]
Hey, Norb!
[Upbeat music plays]
[People cheering]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Laughter] [Upbeat music plays]
Sounds like a bunch
of rambunctious kids
just ran into the pool.
You got time for one last shift?
[Upbeat music plays]
[Water splashing]
Whoo!
[Upbeat music plays]
[Laughing]
[Upbeat music plays]
Yeah!
[Cheers]
[Upbeat music plays]
Yeah!
[Upbeat music plays]
Yeah!
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Upbeat music plays]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Clapping]
[Indistinct chatter]
[Background noise]
[END]