The Longest Yard (1974) Movie Script
...nails Harrison, and drags him
down as if he were gonna hog-tie him, too.
JB Logan helped out.
Anderson's ninth tackle,
he has two behind the line of scrimmage.
Give Harrison four yards to the twenty-six.
Stoney Walker's coming in
and Rufus Middleton is going out,
giving Middleton a breather.
Boy, has he been burning up
a few miles today on stadium turf.
Rufus Middleton. All right,
it's second and six on the twenty-six.
Stoney Walker deployed wide right, Larry
Singer left. The line is set. The snap...
How long do we have to keep
watching this crap?
...tumbled down
on the twenty-three. A quick trap.
He had room to run except
for that man from Jacksonville,
James Washington La Croix,
who made a good, sure, low tackle,
just as Harrison was about to spurt
deep into the secondary.
We've had quite an exciting
ball game this afternoon...
Only a moron could sit and watch
two football games one after the other.
Victorio covers him there.
Singer left.
It's about time Robinson went to Singer.
Harrison and Mancuso
are split behind Robinson.
Robinson gives instead to Harrison,
up the middle again.
He may have the first down,
he's close to the 20-yard line.
Let's see where they mark the ball.
Billy Jacoby and Sonny Anderson
again making the tackle. It's going to be...
Thank God.
That feels so good.
I feel so relaxed.
You know the help is off, Crewe.
The phones are off.
We're all alone.
Let's get it on, honey. Come on.
Honey.
- What?
Wake up, baby. Come on.
You know it'll be good.
You know how good it is.
Come on, Crewe.
Get off me.
Son of a bitch.
Where are you going?
Splitting.
- Splitting?
You split when I tell you to split,
you All-American son of a bitch.
Lovely, lovely.
And when you walk out, stay out.
You're too expensive to be useless.
Whore.
That's exactly what you are, a whore.
- I never looked at it that way before.
Everybody's bought you.
Colleges, the pros, your gamblers.
Who bought those
beautiful caps on your teeth,
the clothes you're wearing
and the bloody tan you've got?
Me.
Have I ever neglected to thank you,
Melissa?
You has-been.
Where're your keys?
If I took everything back... Stay away from
my keys. You'd be bare-assed naked.
Where're your goddamn keys?
- Don't touch my keys.
I think the love
has gone out of our relationship.
Bastard.
Don't you take my Maserati.
I earned it.
I told you not to touch my goddamn car.
Police.
Do you have a driver's licence?
- What, are you taking a poll?
Well, look what we got here.
A miniature cop.
Can we see your driver's licence?
What?
Can we see your driver's licence?
See if I can get it out.
It's him all right.
Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?
What?
- Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?
I couldn't find a car wash.
Step away from the bar.
Mister, step away from the bar.
Don't get pushy, cowboy.
Turn it around.
- Come on.
Hold that son of a bitch.
- Damn.
Now we got you
for stealing a car, drunken driving,
drunk in public and resisting arrest.
Want something else?
- Yeah. I'm going to make you taller.
OK, men, let's go.
Good afternoon.
Where are you from?
Palm Beach County.
- Thank you, sir. Second door down.
This way, men.
They gave you $10,000
for shaving off your moustache on TV?
How about giving me $5,000 worth?
Coming right off: there's about
twenty-five hundred, three thousand,
four thousand coming up,
five thousand.
Anything else, sir?
- That's it.
Warden Hazen thinks
you're pretty hot stuff.
But I'm Captain Knauer.
I'm going to spell
things out for you. I run this prison.
He sits there growing old.
I'm out here busting heads.
And I run the football team.
What football team?
- My football team.
Oh.
Now, Hazen's going to ask you
to help coach.
And you just tell him, 'No way'.
Know something?
I don't like you.
You understand that?
Oh, yeah.
Attention Cell Block 3 A. Please report as
scheduled to your period assignment,
except for carpentry
and accounting classes.
All men assigned to farm detail will
meet at one o'clock in the Rotunda.
Warden, Captain Knauer's here
with inmate Crewe.
Send him in.
- Thank you, sir.
You can go in now.
- Thank you, Miss Toot.
Paul Crewe.
The Wrecking Crewe.
It's good to have you here.
- Thank you.
Young people can learn a great deal
from a skilful football game.
Offence, defence,
spirit of achievement, teamwork.
You might say...
...the game embodies
what has made our country great.
It's a great game.
It's played by great men.
We have something of a football team
here ourselves, you know.
First rank, semi-pro,
South-eastern League.
Runner-up, National Champions,
past five years.
Mister Crewe,
what do you think of semi-pro ball?
Semi-pro's a joke.
Well, perhaps we could use
a few pointers from the big leagues.
Captain, what do you say
to Mister Crewe here looking in,
giving us the benefit
of his invaluable knowledge?
That's a real good idea, Warden.
We could use all the help we can get.
Well?
I haven't held a football in eight years.
I'm not in very good shape.
Nobody's asked you to play,
Mister Crewe.
What we need is a coach. New blood.
New game plan.
Anybody who was pro football's
Most Valuable Player is special,
and I want to have that.
I'm not interested in football anymore.
Mister Crewe, I don't mind saying,
I pulled a lot of strings
to get you down here.
I appreciate that.
Look.
What I want is a national title.
If, perchance, you should help us
achieve that goal,
I expect your stay here
with us will be very agreeable.
Well?
I just want to do my time,
then get out of here.
Very well.
All right, I'll turn you over
to the good hands of Captain Knauer.
Swamp reclamation.
Get him out of here.
Captain.
- Yes, sir.
I'd like a word with you.
For the past five years,
you've promised me the national title,
and every year,
you've come up short.
I try, sir.
- When I want an answer, I'll indicate.
Yes, sir.
You've asked for bonus money.
Certainly take their football seriously,
don't they?
This year you've asked for new
game uniforms. I've OK'ed them.
Everything you've asked for,
I've given you.
Yes, sir. And I appreciate it, sir.
I want that title.
You'll give me that title,
or you'll be out of a job.
You and all that
over-priced beef you call a team.
We should be in the Superbowl by now.
I've lost patience. The gravy train is over.
This year you're going to win.
You've lovely hair.
...your last chance. Prison is no
different from any other community.
Ever find any spiders in it?
...then I haven't done my job.
I'm not being unreasonable, am I?
No, sir.
- Then you'll give me the title?
Yes, sir.
- Good.
I want that man out there.
And I want you to make
that son of a bitch enthusiastic.
Ever do it standing up?
- Let's move it.
I say forget football, you do it.
- Why are you so mad?
You better start taking life seriously.
- I did exactly what you told me to do.
Hey, Superstar.
Get a good night's sleep?
Too bad you missed breakfast.
It was yummy.
Gotta get it done.
This is make-work day.
- What's make-work day?
You shovel it in and shovel back out again.
Hustle in there now.
Cover that bank.
Get that wheelbarrow, Woody.
Let's go. Single file.
Hang it up, hang it up.
Let's get covered.
All right, let's go. Come on.
Get a shovel.
Hey, Superstar.
I got an idea. Granny.
You ever work with a nigger before?
Get another shovel there, boy.
All right. Let's go.
Heave it up.
Sitting down, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Wiping off, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Rolling one, boss?
- Not yet, boy.
Now you know how black man's work feels.
How do you like it?
Oh, it sort of grows on you.
No talking there, Granny.
Yes, boss.
- You'll find yourselves in bad time.
Yes, boss. Sorry about that, boss.
What's he think this is, good time?
Looky, looky, looky,
here comes cooky.
Big deal. Look at him now.
How do you like them apples,
Superstar?
Move the line.
Real friendly types you got around here.
Might be your own fault.
- Oh, really?
Most of these old boys have nothing.
Never had nothing to start with.
But you, you had it all.
Then you let your team-mates down,
got caught taking bribes.
I did, did I?
- I ain't saying either way.
I'm just saying
you could've robbed banks, sold dope,
stole your grandmother's pension,
and none of us would've minded.
But shaving points off a football game,
that's un-American.
You take football real serious down here.
Mind if I ask you one question?
- Yeah, I do.
Why'd you do it?
It's a long story.
- Well, I got eight years.
Oh, my God.
What the hell is that?
That's a member
of the warden's football team.
Some of these guards are not
just everyday run-of-the-mill guards.
Crewe. Granville. Front and centre.
What now?
That means we don't get
to finish this delicious lunch.
What's he looking for?
Snakes.
Snakes?
- Yeah.
Take five.
Rolling one, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Jeez.
Terrific.
- Football faggot.
Salt pill up here, boss?
- Go get it, boy.
How long you been in this asylum,
Pop?
Thirty-four years.
Thirty-four years?
- Yep.
Last six and a half right here in the swamp.
Too old for reclamation,
so they made me barracks chief.
Aren't you coming up for parole soon?
Thirty years ago, I made the mistake
of slugging a fish bull. Hazen.
Just my luck he made warden.
Sent me out here when I was 64 to die,
but I've been hanging on.
We'll all be in the same place a thousand
years from now, so what the hell.
Yeah. What the hell.
All right, you assholes.
Back to work.
Hey.
This ain't no country club, Superstar.
Move your ass.
No, no, son.
You've got to get off the bunk.
Man, for God's sake, get up.
On your feet.
Listen to me. Nobody's allowed on
the bunks till five minutes before lights out.
They'll put you in the oven.
Man, that can kill you.
Did you have any supper yet?
No.
Later I'll try to get you some chow.
You got to eat, man,
or you'll die of mono.
And they could care less.
Get off me.
- Hey, watch it, man.
Where the hell you going?
Twinkle, twinkle, little Superstar.
Guard.
- Yeah?
I want to see the warden.
Pass the salt.
Boy.
Come on.
Go, baby.
That's going to get you
twenty-four hours in the hot box, boy.
I quit.
What makes you so tough?
I don't know. It just comes natural.
That'll cost you, boy.
Rise and shine.
Rise and shine.
Oh. It's room service.
Pretty gamey.
Shower and put on some clean whites.
The warden wants to see you.
The warden?
- Get on down there.
Well?
What do you think of my team?
- Mean.
Crude, but mean.
I was depending on you, you know.
Well, there's so little time left now,
it's quite a problem.
They need something
before that first game.
You have to win the first game?
- Right.
Well, it's relatively simple.
Yeah. Get yourself a tune-up game,
you know?
A what?
A tune-up game, like the pros have,
with a hungry team not in your league.
You bring them here
and kick the shit out of them.
Well.
How do you think
we'd do against the pros?
That team against the pros?
- Yeah.
You'd have a real problem.
Well, how do you think
we'd do against the cons?
I didn't know they had a team.
- They don't.
But you've given me an inspiration.
I've decided, Mister Crewe, that
you're going to put one together for me.
For that little tune-up game, you know?
And you're going to play quarterback.
I can't.
Why? They're semi-pro,
you said yourself. A big joke.
That's why people like me around,
my sense of humour.
Mister Crewe,
as old Mister Sam used to say,
'In this institution,
to get along, you go along'.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I'm just going to do what's left
of my eighteen months quietly,
and I'm out of here.
Oh, yes. Eighteen months.
But that is to make parole.
That was before you struck
Captain Knauer.
Your basic sentence
is from two to five years.
You could be here a long time.
If I get this team together, how long
do I have to get them organized?
Four weeks.
We're talking about early parole?
- I believe we are.
All right. I'll play.
What? I didn't hear.
I'll play.
- Sir.
I'll play, sir.
History. I read you
like a book, Mister Crewe.
One more thing.
What is it?
You keep Knauer off my back.
Give us a game, Mister Crewe.
I'll give you a game.
'Hit and be hit'.
'Anyone with any experience
or desire. Prison football team sign-up'.
Well, what do you think?
- No.
Maybe I'll get annihilated. Forget it.
- He's right.
Now, wait a second. Hey.
Here's how I look at it.
Suppose you break your leg or something.
That's six weeks easy time
in the hospital. That's biscuits and gravy.
Tell me something.
Would they let me play tackle?
Sure.
So I'd spend half the time looking
directly into Walking Boss's eyes?
Now you got it.
- I've always had a thing for him.
Walking Boss always had a thing for you.
Hold it. Don't you guys know
a good thing when you see it?
You get a free crack at the guards,
even a chance to kill one.
Legal.
- Bullshit. I ain't signing that damn thing.
Come on, everybody.
When Rotka's right, he's right.
This honky golden boy sold out
his own team-mates, didn't he?
Damn sure did.
Did it once, he'll do it again.
- Right.
Hi.
Hi.
You know you're doing it all wrong?
- Yeah?
Yeah. You'll never put
a team together with that bunch.
Well, I appreciate the advice.
I can help you.
I'm Nate Scarboro.
Nate Scarboro, Giants?
- Yeah.
Step into my office.
- Thank you.
I'm Paul Crewe.
- Yeah, I know.
You made All Pro, didn't you?
- Right.
Why'd you quit?
- It was simple.
Doc said, 'Quit football or walking'.
Too many knee operations.
I figured walking was better than sitting.
Maybe I made the wrong choice.
You got about 15 guys worth a damn.
The rest... How long did Hazen give you?
A month.
- Oh, you bought a bill of goods.
Didn't have any choice.
You don't have one black player.
There are at least 15 here
with enough experience to make this club.
None signed up.
I played eleven years
in the league, never even got a hangnail.
I'm not going to get hurt in this game.
I'm getting the biggest guys I can
and surrounding myself.
I've watched the guards play
for eleven years.
I've seen how they won and why they lost.
I know those bums
better than they know themselves.
You just got yourself a job.
Head coach.
Great bunch of guys you got.
'Strangled both wives with panty hose'.
'Triple murder
including body dismemberment'.
'Hacked mother with meat cleaver'.
Charming.
Double-check the ones with two stars.
They're the most violent.
Got any three-stars?
Damn it, Warden,
I think this game's a big mistake.
Captain, not only will you have the chance
to hone our team to a fine edge,
you'll also have the opportunity
to learn a great deal about life.
Why is it, do you suppose,
that I can walk through this yard,
surrounded by hate,
and in total command?
Because you've got fifteen gun turrets
all around you that say you can.
Partly, partly.
They could grab us right now
and slit our throats, but they don't.
We get the right person, right place,
right time, we can surprise them.
One game, one time. We can do it.
Hey, you guys about through?
Time's almost up.
OK, Pop. Hold on.
You better hurry up.
What have you got for me, Sunshine?
I can get you steroids, vitamins,
greenies, anything you want.
I'm the best hustler in the joint.
How much of what he says can he do?
He can get you laid in here.
With a woman.
What more can I tell you?
- Oh, yeah?
But can you get me
the guards' medical files?
What for?
- To find out who's had broken bones.
Sonny Tannen, strong as an ox.
You'll love him.
That him?
- That's him.
Hello, Sonny.
How'd you like to play some football?
Football?
Would you like that?
You mean, we'd really
get to hit the guards?
You like that, Sonny?
Report to the practice field
tomorrow morning, nine o'clock.
Cool it.
What's his name?
- Indian.
That makes sense.
- Now, don't do any ethnic jokes.
Indian, this is Paul Crewe.
- Hi.
I hear you play some football.
Little bit.
- Where?
Oklahoma State.
- Oklahoma State U?
Prison.
- Yeah.
First, we get you out of here
and on the football team.
How?
Well, we'll work on it.
That pretty heavy?
About 400 pounds.
That's pretty heavy.
George Samson Granada.
Mister Florida 1964.
Paul Crewe.
You know Florida?
- Yeah.
Yeah, they got tough cops here.
Small, but tough.
We're getting up a football game
against the guards.
Wondered if you and some of your
buddies here would like to join in.
With the guards?
I'd like that.
Sign him up.
- I'm way ahead of you.
See you around.
- Look forward to it.
Samson, huh?
Samson.
- Don't cut your hair.
What do you think?
Defensively, we can hold them
to two or three touchdowns.
But we need better pass receiving
and more speed to win.
To win?
I'm just talking about surviving.
Who's talking about winning?
So am I. This isn't just
a football game to the warden.
He shows you and this team up,
he's showing up all the prisoners.
It's just a game.
All I want is to survive it.
It's just a game.
Not to him it isn't.
It's a fear and violence philosophy:
a chance to be free for a few hours,
to try and be men again,
so he can destroy us.
Nate, if you're thinking
about winning the game,
you're as crazy as he is.
Maybe so.
But you spend 14 years in this tank...
...and you realise there's only two things
they can't sweat or beat out of you.
Your balls.
Better hang onto them because
they're all you'll have when you get out.
Goodnight, Nate.
- Goodnight.
Use of toilet facilities is suspended
for two hours until repairs are complete.
Sorry, men.
Mace.
- Yeah.
Follow my lead.
We're going to do this sucker.
Yeah, we got a line-up, we'd jam him.
Yeah, let's go see what this boy wants.
Pretty boy, we know what you want.
We don't play no ball.
Figured you did.
- We do but we don't.
There it is.
Weren't you two drafted by the pros?
- The pros.
I understand that, but we no longer
perform for the honkies' amusement.
Hey, man, I'll play.
But guarantee me that I'll start.
You got it.
- All right.
What's wrong with you, nigger?
We don't fuck with them.
I'm going to play football.
- But not with them honkies.
You better leave. We'll talk later.
Yeah, leave. You look better
going than you did coming, anyway.
What's wrong with you?
I'm going to play football.
Look, brother...
- I ain't your goddamn brother.
You know what, Granville? You're nothing
but a big old dumb stupid fool.
Makes more sense for me to be
busting their heads, than busting yours.
Oh, nigger, please. Shit.
Where are they?
They're not due for another
five minutes. What's the matter?
We're in big trouble.
I don't even know if these clowns
played high school football,
and we're playing a semi-pro team.
Plus, I haven't touched
a ball in seven years.
Don't worry.
Once you've got it, you've got it.
Throw one at that tyre over there.
It's just like making love.
Once you've done it,
you never forget how.
See?
All right, men. We're not going to have
time to run any complicated patterns.
So we're going to concentrate
on the basic plays.
But we might learn a few 'specialty
plays', if you know what I mean.
Naturally, we're going to try to get away
with as much as possible.
My executive assistant, Mr Nate
Scarboro, will be more than happy...
...to show you just exactly how much
you can try to get away with.
The one thing that you're going to have
to remember, the most important factor,
is to protect your quarterback, me.
Wait a minute. That's no bullshit.
If anything happens to me,
if I get hurt, we're going to have to live
with the fact that we had one chance,
one chance in a million,
to humiliate those bastards,
and we blew it.
Is that clear?
- Yeah.
All right.
We're going to hurt them, right?
Right.
All right. We're going to kick
the shit out of them, right?
Right.
- What?
Right.
Right, right, all right.
Now, backs and ends come with me,
the rest stay here.
OK, linemen. Come on, linemen.
Come on out here.
What's the agility rating?
- Maximum is 10.
All right, just hit the holes,
I don't want to hear you hit any rubber.
Knees high.
Come on, let's go, let's go...
That's a two.
Let's go. Very good. Knees high.
Seven.
Let's go. Hubba, hubba. Knees high.
OK, let's move over
to the blocking dummies.
Come on, Sonny. Sonny, over here.
All right, Granny.
What do I give Granny?
- Six.
Seven.
Would that be a ten?
- That's a ten.
All right. I want to see you really hit.
On three. Hut one.
Hut two. Hut three.
All right.
Let's protect the passer this time.
Good idea.
Set.
Hut one. Hut two. Hut three.
Sorry, man.
- Nice tackle.
Hey, Coach.
Where are all those
specialists you promised me?
Jesus Christ.
There he is, Connie Shokner.
The very baddest cat in the joint.
Even the guards are terrified of him.
He killed five people on the outside
and two in here, with his bare hands.
That karate's bad.
That's before he learned karate.
- Oh.
What's he doing now?
Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.
Paul. Paul.
I smell a rat.
- Hello, Unger.
Paul.
I've got something important to ask you.
I want to be manager.
Caretaker's manager.
- I'm better than him. Let me prove it.
Beat it, Unger.
- Fuck off.
Paul, why don't you like me?
I'm crazy about you.
I think you're terrific.
Friendship is something
that should never be taken lightly, Paul.
I really want people to like me,
but they never do.
I'd like very much to be your friend, Paul.
Well, it would be an honour
and a privilege, Unger.
Now, if you'll just excuse me.
Paul.
You sure about that?
I can't be manager?
Caretaker's manager.
If I'd have only found you sooner,
you know?
Good thing he loves you.
He burnt to death five people he didn't like.
Putty in my hands.
Come out, boy. Come out.
Hello, Mister Shokner.
Know how to play football?
- Yeah.
Good. Would you like to play football
with us inmates?
No.
- Oh.
We're playing the guards.
Yeah. I want to play.
He wants to play.
Thank you, Mister Shokner.
Now, remember,
nobody hits the quarterback.
Blue 28.
Set. Hut.
He broke my fucking nose.
You bastard,
you broke my fucking nose.
Calm down. I'll fix it.
I don't want to play this game.
He broke my nose.
- I'm going to fix it, OK? Here we go.
How does it look?
- It looks 100% better, doesn't it?
100%.
- It does?
Yeah.
He did that on purpose.
- No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
- Tell him you...
Tell him you're sorry.
Please.
OK. I'm sorry.
OK, everybody.
Huddle up, let's go.
He said sorry.
Bullshit.
- He said he was sorry.
You dumb pussy.
Try it again.
- Three, twenty-five, hut, hut.
All right.
What about the rest of the team?
Outside of Crewe, the only one
who looks like anything is Granville.
Granville could give you real trouble.
- All right, that's all.
Well?
- It's going to be a turkey shoot.
He's right, sir.
We're going to destroy 'em.
It's a cinch, boss. A cinch.
Cinch.
Destroy 'em.
Too cute.
That's what you said last year before
we lost to Endicott Steel, remember?
There's no sense us taking any chances,
letting ourselves get hurt.
So see what we can do about Granville.
- Yes, sir.
Granville, get your ass over here.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
What the hell you think you're doing, boy?
You pick that up.
Yes, sir.
What is your problem, fat man?
Know why you spades always
calling each other 'brother'?
No, sir.
'Cause half of you don't know who your
daddy is, so you might be brothers.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
You think that's funny?
- Yes, sir.
You want to hit me, don't you?
No, sir, Lieutenant.
You're too ignorant to know when a man's
calling you a stupid, uneducated nigger.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
May I go now, sir?
Yeah, get out of my sight.
Blue 48.
Blue 48.
Set.
Hut one.
Shit.
Hey, lightweight.
What the hell is this?
Here come the rain-clouds.
What do they want?
Granny tells us you need a little help.
Says you can guarantee no work detail.
Yeah.
- Guarantee special food like Granny gets?
Yeah.
We get to hit those guards
like Granny said?
You get to hit 'em.
What else can we offer them?
...having a Geneva conference
about playing with us.
What is this bullshit?
Well, Mister Crewe.
We've come to terms.
Compliments from
the Greater Chicago Youth Authority.
There goes the neighbourhood.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, sir.
...especially Unger.
Unger?
- Yes.
Unger has a direct pipeline
to Captain Knauer.
It's impossible for me to have
a secret practice while Unger's around.
I'm supposed
to reschedule the yard activities...
...for three uninterrupted hours
of secret practice?
That right?
- Yes, sir. Right.
And you will talk to Captain Knauer?
I'll speak to the captain on those matters.
- Thank you, sir.
Mister Crewe.
Just what is it you have up your sleeve?
I'm just trying to give you
a football team, Warden.
And along the way, maybe give the men
some pride and some dignity.
Of course, only for a little while.
I know you've got something more
bouncing around inside that head of yours.
You want a game, right?
My men don't have a chance in hell
of winning that game.
You know it, I know it,
I just don't want them to know it.
OK?
Man. I ain't had steak like this in five years.
I ain't eaten inside in six.
What have you done for me lately?
Today may be the high point
of a long and colourful career.
Three, count 'em,
three gigantic rip-offs.
First, I've got a box of brand new
equipment waiting to be stashed.
Compliments of Captain Knauer?
- No less.
And the piece de resistance:
how would you like actual game films
of the guardsmen in action?
Can you do that?
- Warden's own home movies.
Caretaker, you never cease to amaze me.
Never. But you said three gigantic rip-offs.
That's only two.
You don't want to ruin the surprise.
- Surprise?
There's one thing.
- What?
You're going to have to perform
a personal service.
What kind of personal service?
The warden's expecting you.
Won't you come this way.
Thank you, Captain.
- Thank you.
I'm glad you're not in the swamp
anymore. That can ruin a man.
Sure can.
We don't have a great deal of time.
We have 15 minutes.
The game films.
- Thank you. That's terrific.
Like I said, we only have 15 minutes.
Uh-uh. Won't go over the cuffs.
You do this very often?
I'm as far from Tallahassee
as you are, honey.
Shokner.
Shokner.
- Yep.
Hit him high like that,
he'll break your back.
Breaks your back,
he's going to break the Superstar's back.
Don't worry about him.
I'll get that son of a bitch with an empi.
Kiai.
Ready. Set.
- Kiai.
Ready. Set.
- Kiai.
Take this bandage,
dip it into the plaster of Paris,
wrap it around the cast,
and in 15 minutes it's hard as rock.
Got it?
- Got it.
This is a picture of Walking Boss.
- Yeah.
He once broke his right thigh-bone,
maybe you can clip it.
We'll break it again.
- Got it?
Got it.
- All right. We can do it.
Gentlemen, what we have here,
in common parlance,
is known as a set of brass knuckles.
...temporary disabilities.
Balls. Gut. Ribs.
You got it?
- Got it.
...the ball is snapped,
you go into your opponent,
blocking him with your left arm
and bring this hand up into his chin,
and I'll guarantee he'll be incapacitated
for the next several moments.
Got it?
- Got it.
All right. Here's the play we're going to use.
I don't think the guards
know this formation.
It's called 'Incidental punishment
after the ball is blown dead'.
Any man you tackle gets an extra elbow,
knee, or kick in the mouth. Got it?
Got it.
I am, without a doubt,
the finest maker of raisin jack
in the entire joint.
I'm going to call this batch 'Old Caretaker'.
Do you always keep it in there?
Well, it seems like a logical place.
Listen...
- It does get to you.
...you and me are buddies, ain't we?
I got you laid.
I got you the game film. I got you all
them monsters. I'm getting you drunk.
Yes, you are.
There's one thing still bothers me.
- What's that?
Why'd you shave them points?
I told you, for the money.
No, no. Come on.
Give me the real reason.
You really want to know, huh?
I never gave a shit about football,
or anything else.
The only thing
I ever cared about's my old man.
My old man was blind,
never saw me play.
Shit, I've been a professional
ever since I was 12 years old.
Hustling nickels and dimes playing pool.
Didn't make enough money
to take care of him.
And I figured when I got to pro ball,
I'd make one big killing.
One big one.
Make enough money to set him up,
take care of him the rest of his life.
Then the son of a bitch died.
Do you buy that?
Well, that's good because it's bullshit.
Why do you think I shaved points?
For the money.
One minute to lock-up. One minute.
Know what my problem's always been?
No, what?
I've always had my shit together.
Always.
My problem has been that I couldn't lift it.
I've got to go home.
Oh, you're going to be a party pooper?
It's OK. Some pro quarterbacks
drink all night long.
I know.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Paul. Here,
don't you want to take one with you?
Lock it up.
Lock it up.
- Lock it up now.
Lock up. Turn off radios.
Turn off the radio.
- Lock it up.
Come on, boy. Move.
Want to be tucked in?
There's nothing I can do for you,
Crewe got to the warden.
Captain, if you put me back in the general
population, one of those guys'll kill me.
That's what happens to finks.
You've got Crewe to thank for that.
He blew the whistle on you.
On you specifically.
You got the problem.
- I can help you.
Split right. Full back, dive right.
On one, ready?
Go left. Go left. Go round.
Twenty-eight.
Hut.
Way to go, way to go.
Let's go.
- Set.
Hut.
All right.
General call for lock-up.
Let's do it. That's my team.
- All prisoners return to their cells.
Shop period 5 will begin in 10 minutes.
In ten minutes, we expect all men in
shop period 5 to meet outside cell block...
Cell block 3A will take first call for dinner.
Dinner rotation will start with cell block 3A.
We don't know enough about these guys.
Why don't we take another look
at the X-rays?
The medical files are on my bed,
get them, will you?
Who do you see playing flanker?
- Miller.
Get the goddamn key.
Warden. Warden.
Bring that key.
Come on, get him out of there.
Earth to earth,
ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
we commend the soul
of James 'Caretaker' Farrell.
And now, the peace of God
which passeth all understanding,
shall guard your hearts and souls.
Unto our God and Father
be glory for ever and ever.
Amen.
Good afternoon, fellow inmates,
correctional officers,
honoured guests,
ladies and gentlemen.
This is Matt 'Killer'Farrell broadcasting
on the Interstate Correctional Facility,
the communication broadcasting
system of your state prison.
This is part of Warden Rudolph Hazen's
progressive rehabilitation programme.
This is indeed an historic occasion
as we sit here...
...in this marvellous
Edward J. Hazen memorial stadium...
...provided for us by our warden,
Rudolph Hazen.
All right. Stand up for the warden.
Just so you'll know,
we've posted armed guards
all along the wall...
...and at the public end of the field.
So if any of you were thinking
of mingling with the civilians...
...and wandering off with the crowd
at the end of the game,
we will shoot you.
Have a nice game, boys.
See you on the field, Superstar.
All right, now it's our turn.
Here's a surprise from the Caretaker.
Come on. Come on.
Born free...
...and life is worth living...
...but only worth living...
'cause you're...
...born free
Thanks to the men of cell block C,
affectionately known as...
...the Citrus State Cheerios.
The teams are coming onto the field.
First, the Guards' defensive unit, led by
Captains Rassmeusen and Bogdanski.
Leading out the offensive unit,
the Guards' coach and captain,
Wilhelm Knauer.
Let's hear it for Warden Rudolph Hazen...
...who has sponsored
today's progressive contest.
Let's get the ball game going.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Mean Machine.
They stole our new uniforms.
They got our uniforms.
That's right.
...all time great,
quarterback for the Mean Machine,
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe.
The balance of the Mean Machine
with coach, Nate Scarboro.
Please stand and join Mike Syke
in the singing of our national anthem.
What are you dressed up for,
Hallowe'en?
I figured if you get far enough ahead, you'd
let this middle-aged kid have some fun.
Bullshit.
Call it.
- Heads.
It is a head.
You've won the toss and may elect to...
How did you steal our uniforms?
Cute, aren't they?
Have a good clean game.
So no matter what,
just keep sticking it to them.
Now, who are we?
- The Mean Machine.
The Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Hit that dirt.
One, two, one, two.
Ready, go.
- Hold them out and don't let 'em score
Check them out
Hold them out and don't let 'em score
Check them out Hold them out...
...and don't let 'em score
Three. Twenty-five.
Hut. Hut.
Kick was blocked by Granville.
The score now is Guardsmen 6,
Mean Machine 0.
Guardsmen kick off.
Good defence. Way to go.
Here. Here.
At the fourth down and a prize attack.
Mean Machine serpentines
up to the line of scrimmage.
Scrimmage is first and ten.
Tighten the line. Move it.
All right, here come the bad guys.
Pick 'em up.
Set.
Hut.
...in the end zone for two points
and a slashing tackle by number 61.
Bogdanski?
- Bogdanski.
Who's supposed to stop him?
I am.
- Right.
...goes out there in front of him.
A free kick. Charlie Blue Eyes kicks.
Taken at the Guards' 40.
And he goes down
for an 18-yard drop back.
He's dropped for a five-yard loss,
by number 66, Wilbur Gillan.
...and he's fumbled.
A Machine ball on their own 32.
He's making the pass.
He's hit by a vicious
diving tackle by Bogdanski.
It's going to be a penalty for
Bogdanksi for hitting before the pass.
So ladies and gentlemen,
that signals the end of the first quarter.
...Mean Machine nothing.
Ball goes back to Crewe,
he's waiting to pass...
Scores.
Damn.
Settle down. Good hands. Here we go.
Loose showboat on the centre snap.
We're going to fake it. Ready?
And the Mean Machine will now line up
for the touchdown attempt.
That makes the score eight to seven
in favour of the Guardsmen.
Listen, guys.
If they fake the Walking Boss, cover me.
I gotta get that bastard.
- Bury that son of a bitch.
First and ten on their own 31.
Wilhelm Knauer. He's dropped
for a two-yard loss on the 29-yard line.
Give me the brass knuckles.
Take a good whiff.
Take a good whiff. How many fingers?
Three.
- Great.
If that Levitt comes up the middle again,
I'm going to clothesline him.
Now's the time.
Four three Mau Mau. Ready?
- Hey, hey, hey.
Receiver. Set. Hut.
Ball goes to Knauer...
Levitt was clotheslined,
and he is not moving.
I think I broke his fucking neck.
I think he broke his fucking neck.
I told you I broke his fucking neck.
I think he broke his fucking neck.
Sonny, if Knauer drops back
to punt, nail him.
You bet your ass. I'll get him.
We need the ball.
A little bit of safety here.
A timid or chicken kind of football.
Ball goes to Knauer
and he's smashed down.
Give me a break, OK?
Did you see that? Are you blind?
You're supposed to be impartial.
Shit. Might as well be
a goddamn try-out for you.
Third and long.
He likes to throw on the flat.
And the half ends with the score:
Guardsmen 15, Mean Machine 13.
We'll have the half-time statistics
for you in a few moments,
but right now it's time
for our gala half-time activities.
Any suggestions, sir?
- Give your team a pep talk.
Yes, sir.
You've got to be a football hero
To get along with a beautiful girl
You gotta be a touchdown getter you bet
If you want to get a baby to pet
Hey, Crewe.
What kind of football you call that?
Same kind you're playing.
We've let you mothers slide,
now we're going to hang you out to dry.
Hey, Wilhelm. Hang loose.
Those bastards were good.
Come on, damn it.
- Let's go.
Call yourselves a football team?
Bunch of candy-asses.
They're laughing at you next door.
Listen.
What about Mawabe.
He's a bigshot, man...
Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
You wanted a game, you got one.
I never mentioned winning.
You never said
anything about losing, either.
I'll spell it out.
We've got Unger in custody.
He's confessed to killing Caretaker.
- What?
He said you knew all about it.
But you didn't notify Captain Knauer.
And that makes you an accessory.
You're full of crap.
- You sent Caretaker to that cell.
You are an accessory to murder.
You could be looking at twenty years,
and counting.
Bullshit.
There's no way that would stick in court.
No? Mister Crewe, you could be in this
institution until you're old and grey,
or until you're dead,
whichever's first, I can promise you that.
You're going to lose the game.
And I want a 21-point spread.
I can't do that.
Of course you can.
You've done it before.
If I give you the 21 points,
will you call off the dogs?
The dogs?
If you've got the game in the bag,
you tell your guys to coast.
I don't want any of my men hurt.
You have my word.
Once we get the 21 points.
You know, there's only one thing
I'm sorry about.
What's that?
That you're not playing,
knocking heads.
I'm afraid I'm a little too old for that.
No. You never had the guts to begin with.
You're playing like a bunch of girls.
Every one of you. Candy-asses.
You know who's beating you out there?
Scum's beating you out there. Scum.
And that's the lowest part of the world.
Those are the criminals
and rapists. The murderers.
You're supposed
to represent law and order.
You're supposed to...
- Listen to this shit.
He thinks he's Rockne.
You're letting the flag down.
Go out there and do something about it.
Offence and defence play together.
Let's go now. Come on.
You're guaranteed a 21-point spread.
- What?
Because of your performance,
I was forced to make a deal.
In the second half we can beat them.
I don't care what you think.
You'll do as I told you.
Mister Crewe will do the same.
Yes, sir.
When you and your mental midgets
are 21 points ahead,
I want you to inflict as much painful
damage on the prisoners as possible.
So you understand,
before this game is over,
I want every prisoner in this institution
to know what I mean by power,
and who controls it.
Do we understand each other?
Yes, sir.
It's 15- 13...
...and the second half of a surprisingly
close ball game is about to begin.
...ball goes down
and is taken by number 36.
Set. Hut.
...goes straight back, he's getting good
protection and is looking for the receiver.
Throw the ball, man.
I'm open. Crewe.
Crewe.
Crewe.
Crewe. Oh, shit.
I own that hamburger. Pass it.
- I was open. Can't you see?
Enough. I'm calling the plays.
Hut.
First and ten for the Guards
in opposition territory.
All right. No sweat.
Crewe has been poor
in this last series of plays.
Something seems
to have happened to him.
That last pass wasjust not
a Paul Crewe pass.
Come on, we'll get it back.
Touchdown.
Stick it to 'em. He's going to choke.
Paul Crewe looking to pass.
Gets a pass off and it's short.
It's short and it's picked off by number 21.
We got it. We got it.
It's another touchdown for the Guards,
bringing their score to 28,
to thirteen for the Mean Machine.
What's happening?
- I'm having a bad day.
Bad day?
- Yes. Have you never had one?
Get off my back.
Set. Hut.
Ball snaps back and there's a fumble...
- Fumble, fumble.
What is that?
- You call yourself good.
Why did you change uniform?
Bullshit.
Paul Crewe
is taking himself out of the ball game.
Paul Crewe is limping badly.
He's limping off the field.
Pop Steadman's bringing him to the bench.
We may have seen
the last of Paul Crewe for today.
Let's get this shoe off
and look at that ankle.
I could give him one of my empis.
I'd knock his head off.
I could be inside making wallets.
Doesn't feel broken.
Somebody step on it or did you twist it?
Twisted it.
- Golden boy? Superstar?
To think we fought Granny for this crap.
Really sold us out, didn't you, Crewe?
Anybody can see he's throwing the game.
Pull 'em down, go, let's go.
Let's go.
...at the line of scrimmage.
Less than an inch for a touchdown.
The ball is going back to Keller...
A touchdown for the Guards,
making the score 35 to 13.
With 5 minutes 58 left in the third quarter,
which has been all Guardsmen,
the score is 35 for the Guardsmen
and 13 for the Mean Machine.
No point.
With 5.58 left in the third period,
the score remains 35 for the Guardsmen
and 13 for the Mean Machine.
Kill that Indian mother.
Get that Indian by the boots. Get him over.
Good blocking.
Keep it up. Keep it up.
Come on now.
Guards'ball, third and two
on their own 37-yard line.
Knauer takes the pass
and throws it to Levitt...
...Levitt takes the ball and he's going to
the Mean Machine 30-yard line...
...on me.
Jesus Christ. Another injury.
Come on.
...number 74, Shop Steward, is badly hurt,
bleeding badly from the mouth.
...ball goes back to Knauer, who
hands off 11 for another long gain.
...another injury...
...and it's Sonny Tannen.
He seems to be badly shaken up.
Crybaby son of a bitch.
Time. Another man down.
Superstar, what kind of deal did you make
this time? What did Hazen promise?
They're killing those guys out there
and you don't even care.
He's right, Crewe.
You fooled the hell out of me.
I trusted you and you let me down.
I know you don't give a shit about nothing,
but I didn't think you'd sell us out.
Granny,
better get back in there.
Four three inside flank.
Ready? Break.
Ball's on the Mean Machine 48-yard line.
...ball's gone to Knauer,
he hands off 44...
...he's picking one up...
What is it?
- Broken collarbone.
You sure?
- I'm sure.
Officials are trying to break up that fight,
it's getting pretty rough in there.
Granny Granville is hurt. He's holding
his shoulder and appears to be badly hurt.
Probably a broken bone,
but he is on his feet.
Satisfied now?
Jesus, Sonny.
The officials will assess the penalty.
15 yards for unsporting conduct.
Hey, Pop.
- Yeah?
That time you hit Hazen in the mouth,
was it worth it?
Was it worth 30 years?
Yeah. For me it was.
Well, give me my goddamn shoe.
Wait a minute.
Paul Crewe, number 22, is going back
into the game for the Mean Machine.
All right. New quarterback. Shok, you're
on the bench. Move over. Here we go.
Makes no difference where you go.
- Fuck you.
Look who's back.
It's the baby boy.
Set.
- Set, my ass.
What is he trying to pull?
Hut.
- Uh-uh.
Get that Superstar.
Behind the line of scrimmage
for a six-yard goal.
Show 'em who's boss.
Get them. They ain't shit.
That's how it is?
They're in a huddle now.
There's the gun ending the third quarter.
That's the quarter.
Let's change ends.
Ball goes to Crewe. He's going to
pass on fourth and long-yard it.
...holds the ball and goes up the middle.
Crewe goes up the middle...
That's it, Paul.
The line is set...
- Hut.
...he's going up the centre.
Shotgun left. Shotgun.
Hut. Hut.
Crewe's looking for a receiver.
Where's he going?
There's a figure that graced
the Polo Grounds for years.
What are you guys so surprised about?
I'm not letting you have all the fun.
Bootleg on one.
Ready? Break.
OK. Come on.
Looks good. Keep it alive.
Set.
Hut.
There's a first down on the 20-yard line.
Your confidence back?
Get Scarboro.
- Son of a bitch.
Ball goes back to Crewe,
he's waiting to pass...
...by Bogdanski. Bogdanski hit
Nate Scarboro a cheap shot.
A reprehensible action.
Cheap shot.
Let me at the son of a bitch.
Old Double O
is down and seems badly hurt.
How is it, Nate?
I love it. After all these years,
my first touchdown.
It's got to be his knee.
I heard it pop.
Get him up.
- You'll be OK. Hang in there.
Hey, Paul. You've got to do it.
Screw Hazen.
- Don't worry. He'll get his.
Good old Nate Scarboro.
One of the most beloved men
this institution has had.
The extra point kick is good.
Tightening that score now to 35 to 20.
Blue Eyes can kick the ball ten yards,
can someone fall on it?
Right on.
- Then let's go.
Charlie Blue Eyes approaches the ball
and kicks...
It's an on-side kick...
And it's recovered for the Mean Machine.
Shut up. Shut up.
You're stinking the place up.
Can we take 'em?
- Yeah.
Split right. On two. Ready?
Set.
Hut.
Ball goes back to Crewe.
Crewe hands off to number 30...
...23 yards.
Crewe's down on the ten-yard line.
A beautiful piece of razzle-dazzle.
Paul Crewe reached
into his bag of tricks that time, folks.
Charlie Blue Eyes splits the uprights
and that makes it 35 to 27.
How we doing?
- Fine.
There you go, Nate.
I heard you were on your way in.
Hey, did they tell you
about my touchdown?
We repeat, with five minutes
and four seconds left in the fourth quarter,
there is now only an eight-point difference.
Here we go.
- Can you drop-kick from here?
I could try.
- Drop-kick?
It's fourth and four
and we're going to drop-kick.
Shotgun.
Drop-kick, on one. Ready?
...he's got to come up
with something different.
Ball goes back to Charlie Blue Eyes...
I haven't seen one of those in years.
What was that?
- A drop-kick.
How much does that count?
- Three points.
For that? Bullshit.
The score stands Guards 35,
Mean Machine 30.
Fourth and 21
for the Mean Machine on their own 39.
Crewe is feigning...
...and he dumps off another pass.
...Bogdanski saves a touchdown.
Bogdanski is really wreaking havoc
on that Mean Machine team.
Quiet down.
Now, listen to me.
We're going to let Bogdanski come right
through. Nobody touch him. Got it?
I want to try something.
If it works, everybody hit him. Right?
Right.
- Split right. All curl, on one. Ready?
Red left.
Blue 69.
Blue 69.
Set.
...throws the ball
directly at Bogdanski's groin.
Get off him.
- That's bullshit.
They're unravelling the tangle now,
and there's a penalty against
the Mean Machine for roughness,
and that pass sure didn't look like
it was an accident.
Bogdanski is staggering,
but he is up and on his feet.
OK. We've got fifteenth.
Let's huddle up on the ball. Huddle up.
Unbelievable.
Hey, Bog.
Get out of here.
Come on.
- I know what I'm doing.
Worked once, got to work again. Right?
- Right.
All right.
One more time, on two. Ready?
It's third and 32 for the Mean Machine.
Set.
Hut.
Ball goes back to Crewe...
Crewe hits Bogdanski with the ball
right in the...
...in the nether regions.
Once again, Bogdanski is down,
the Mean Machine is dirty.
He's not breathing.
- Do something. Try mouth-to-mouth.
You want to?
- No way.
Ambulance. Help.
They are taking Bogdanski
off the field in an ambulance.
He pushed him.
You can't see,
you blind son of a bitch.
Hey, Walking Boss,
here's your crying towel.
You big fat-assed son of a bitch.
Go get off and stay off.
First down.
Time out.
Jesus.
Scooter, you want to hit somebody?
- Yeah.
All right. Tackle eligible.
Mawabe, talk to me.
What are you doing?
- One step off the line.
I'll step on the line.
- Right. On one. Ready?
Machine's ball, first and ten
on the Guards' 31-yard line.
Blue 28.
...less than one minute 57 seconds left.
Hut.
Protest that play.
Crewe, call time.
Time. Time.
Time, ref. Time.
First and goal on the one-yard line,
as Crewe calls time out, with...
...40 seconds left on the clock.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Quiet down. Split right...
Joe Jack.
Split right, sweep left.
On one. Ready?
Blue 28. Blue 28.
Set. Hut.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is really a ball game.
This is a great ball team.
They're giving these Guardsmen
the fight of their lives.
Split right, roll out right, option pass.
Be waiting, Mace.
On two, on two. Ready?
Second and goal.
- Blue 20.
Blue 20. Set. Hut.
Crewe feigns the pass...
...and he throws...
...stopping the clock again
with 16 seconds left.
Flip right, dive left, Indian.
Now, if we don't make it,
everybody yell time.
Everybody yell time.
On one. Ready?
Blue 29. Blue 29.
Set.
Ball goes back to Crewe...
Time. Time.
Crewe calls for his third and last time out...
...with seven seconds left on the clock.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Where the hell's he going?
Let's find out.
Crewe has taken his last time out
and he's heading toward the bench.
He's heading toward the bench
followed by his entire offensive unit.
Most unusual...
I don't know what they're doing,
it's silent as a church.
It looks more like a prayer meeting
than a huddle.
Whatever happens,
regardless of the outcome,
this has been one fantastic showing.
We've come too far together to stop now.
For Granny, for Nate,
for Caretaker, let's do it.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Hold it down.
- Cool it.
Set.
Hut.
Thirty-six, thirty-five,
in favour of the Mean Machine.
Ladies and gentlemen,
like the fabled phoenix of old...
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
You know, you guys ain't half bad.
- You're right.
Fuck you, boy.
Not today, boss.
History.
We stopped 'em. We are number one.
Where's your goddamn power theory now?
He's trying to escape.
Oh, shit.
- Officer.
Crewe.
- I'm talking to you.
Crewe.
He's trying to escape. Shoot him.
Crewe.
- You going to let him escape? Shoot.
Shoot him, you... Shoot him.
- Crewe.
Crewe.
- Kill him. Kill that son of a bitch.
Shoot him.
Game ball.
Stick this in your trophy case.
I knew you could do it.
down as if he were gonna hog-tie him, too.
JB Logan helped out.
Anderson's ninth tackle,
he has two behind the line of scrimmage.
Give Harrison four yards to the twenty-six.
Stoney Walker's coming in
and Rufus Middleton is going out,
giving Middleton a breather.
Boy, has he been burning up
a few miles today on stadium turf.
Rufus Middleton. All right,
it's second and six on the twenty-six.
Stoney Walker deployed wide right, Larry
Singer left. The line is set. The snap...
How long do we have to keep
watching this crap?
...tumbled down
on the twenty-three. A quick trap.
He had room to run except
for that man from Jacksonville,
James Washington La Croix,
who made a good, sure, low tackle,
just as Harrison was about to spurt
deep into the secondary.
We've had quite an exciting
ball game this afternoon...
Only a moron could sit and watch
two football games one after the other.
Victorio covers him there.
Singer left.
It's about time Robinson went to Singer.
Harrison and Mancuso
are split behind Robinson.
Robinson gives instead to Harrison,
up the middle again.
He may have the first down,
he's close to the 20-yard line.
Let's see where they mark the ball.
Billy Jacoby and Sonny Anderson
again making the tackle. It's going to be...
Thank God.
That feels so good.
I feel so relaxed.
You know the help is off, Crewe.
The phones are off.
We're all alone.
Let's get it on, honey. Come on.
Honey.
- What?
Wake up, baby. Come on.
You know it'll be good.
You know how good it is.
Come on, Crewe.
Get off me.
Son of a bitch.
Where are you going?
Splitting.
- Splitting?
You split when I tell you to split,
you All-American son of a bitch.
Lovely, lovely.
And when you walk out, stay out.
You're too expensive to be useless.
Whore.
That's exactly what you are, a whore.
- I never looked at it that way before.
Everybody's bought you.
Colleges, the pros, your gamblers.
Who bought those
beautiful caps on your teeth,
the clothes you're wearing
and the bloody tan you've got?
Me.
Have I ever neglected to thank you,
Melissa?
You has-been.
Where're your keys?
If I took everything back... Stay away from
my keys. You'd be bare-assed naked.
Where're your goddamn keys?
- Don't touch my keys.
I think the love
has gone out of our relationship.
Bastard.
Don't you take my Maserati.
I earned it.
I told you not to touch my goddamn car.
Police.
Do you have a driver's licence?
- What, are you taking a poll?
Well, look what we got here.
A miniature cop.
Can we see your driver's licence?
What?
Can we see your driver's licence?
See if I can get it out.
It's him all right.
Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?
What?
- Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?
I couldn't find a car wash.
Step away from the bar.
Mister, step away from the bar.
Don't get pushy, cowboy.
Turn it around.
- Come on.
Hold that son of a bitch.
- Damn.
Now we got you
for stealing a car, drunken driving,
drunk in public and resisting arrest.
Want something else?
- Yeah. I'm going to make you taller.
OK, men, let's go.
Good afternoon.
Where are you from?
Palm Beach County.
- Thank you, sir. Second door down.
This way, men.
They gave you $10,000
for shaving off your moustache on TV?
How about giving me $5,000 worth?
Coming right off: there's about
twenty-five hundred, three thousand,
four thousand coming up,
five thousand.
Anything else, sir?
- That's it.
Warden Hazen thinks
you're pretty hot stuff.
But I'm Captain Knauer.
I'm going to spell
things out for you. I run this prison.
He sits there growing old.
I'm out here busting heads.
And I run the football team.
What football team?
- My football team.
Oh.
Now, Hazen's going to ask you
to help coach.
And you just tell him, 'No way'.
Know something?
I don't like you.
You understand that?
Oh, yeah.
Attention Cell Block 3 A. Please report as
scheduled to your period assignment,
except for carpentry
and accounting classes.
All men assigned to farm detail will
meet at one o'clock in the Rotunda.
Warden, Captain Knauer's here
with inmate Crewe.
Send him in.
- Thank you, sir.
You can go in now.
- Thank you, Miss Toot.
Paul Crewe.
The Wrecking Crewe.
It's good to have you here.
- Thank you.
Young people can learn a great deal
from a skilful football game.
Offence, defence,
spirit of achievement, teamwork.
You might say...
...the game embodies
what has made our country great.
It's a great game.
It's played by great men.
We have something of a football team
here ourselves, you know.
First rank, semi-pro,
South-eastern League.
Runner-up, National Champions,
past five years.
Mister Crewe,
what do you think of semi-pro ball?
Semi-pro's a joke.
Well, perhaps we could use
a few pointers from the big leagues.
Captain, what do you say
to Mister Crewe here looking in,
giving us the benefit
of his invaluable knowledge?
That's a real good idea, Warden.
We could use all the help we can get.
Well?
I haven't held a football in eight years.
I'm not in very good shape.
Nobody's asked you to play,
Mister Crewe.
What we need is a coach. New blood.
New game plan.
Anybody who was pro football's
Most Valuable Player is special,
and I want to have that.
I'm not interested in football anymore.
Mister Crewe, I don't mind saying,
I pulled a lot of strings
to get you down here.
I appreciate that.
Look.
What I want is a national title.
If, perchance, you should help us
achieve that goal,
I expect your stay here
with us will be very agreeable.
Well?
I just want to do my time,
then get out of here.
Very well.
All right, I'll turn you over
to the good hands of Captain Knauer.
Swamp reclamation.
Get him out of here.
Captain.
- Yes, sir.
I'd like a word with you.
For the past five years,
you've promised me the national title,
and every year,
you've come up short.
I try, sir.
- When I want an answer, I'll indicate.
Yes, sir.
You've asked for bonus money.
Certainly take their football seriously,
don't they?
This year you've asked for new
game uniforms. I've OK'ed them.
Everything you've asked for,
I've given you.
Yes, sir. And I appreciate it, sir.
I want that title.
You'll give me that title,
or you'll be out of a job.
You and all that
over-priced beef you call a team.
We should be in the Superbowl by now.
I've lost patience. The gravy train is over.
This year you're going to win.
You've lovely hair.
...your last chance. Prison is no
different from any other community.
Ever find any spiders in it?
...then I haven't done my job.
I'm not being unreasonable, am I?
No, sir.
- Then you'll give me the title?
Yes, sir.
- Good.
I want that man out there.
And I want you to make
that son of a bitch enthusiastic.
Ever do it standing up?
- Let's move it.
I say forget football, you do it.
- Why are you so mad?
You better start taking life seriously.
- I did exactly what you told me to do.
Hey, Superstar.
Get a good night's sleep?
Too bad you missed breakfast.
It was yummy.
Gotta get it done.
This is make-work day.
- What's make-work day?
You shovel it in and shovel back out again.
Hustle in there now.
Cover that bank.
Get that wheelbarrow, Woody.
Let's go. Single file.
Hang it up, hang it up.
Let's get covered.
All right, let's go. Come on.
Get a shovel.
Hey, Superstar.
I got an idea. Granny.
You ever work with a nigger before?
Get another shovel there, boy.
All right. Let's go.
Heave it up.
Sitting down, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Wiping off, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Rolling one, boss?
- Not yet, boy.
Now you know how black man's work feels.
How do you like it?
Oh, it sort of grows on you.
No talking there, Granny.
Yes, boss.
- You'll find yourselves in bad time.
Yes, boss. Sorry about that, boss.
What's he think this is, good time?
Looky, looky, looky,
here comes cooky.
Big deal. Look at him now.
How do you like them apples,
Superstar?
Move the line.
Real friendly types you got around here.
Might be your own fault.
- Oh, really?
Most of these old boys have nothing.
Never had nothing to start with.
But you, you had it all.
Then you let your team-mates down,
got caught taking bribes.
I did, did I?
- I ain't saying either way.
I'm just saying
you could've robbed banks, sold dope,
stole your grandmother's pension,
and none of us would've minded.
But shaving points off a football game,
that's un-American.
You take football real serious down here.
Mind if I ask you one question?
- Yeah, I do.
Why'd you do it?
It's a long story.
- Well, I got eight years.
Oh, my God.
What the hell is that?
That's a member
of the warden's football team.
Some of these guards are not
just everyday run-of-the-mill guards.
Crewe. Granville. Front and centre.
What now?
That means we don't get
to finish this delicious lunch.
What's he looking for?
Snakes.
Snakes?
- Yeah.
Take five.
Rolling one, boss?
- Not today, boy.
Jeez.
Terrific.
- Football faggot.
Salt pill up here, boss?
- Go get it, boy.
How long you been in this asylum,
Pop?
Thirty-four years.
Thirty-four years?
- Yep.
Last six and a half right here in the swamp.
Too old for reclamation,
so they made me barracks chief.
Aren't you coming up for parole soon?
Thirty years ago, I made the mistake
of slugging a fish bull. Hazen.
Just my luck he made warden.
Sent me out here when I was 64 to die,
but I've been hanging on.
We'll all be in the same place a thousand
years from now, so what the hell.
Yeah. What the hell.
All right, you assholes.
Back to work.
Hey.
This ain't no country club, Superstar.
Move your ass.
No, no, son.
You've got to get off the bunk.
Man, for God's sake, get up.
On your feet.
Listen to me. Nobody's allowed on
the bunks till five minutes before lights out.
They'll put you in the oven.
Man, that can kill you.
Did you have any supper yet?
No.
Later I'll try to get you some chow.
You got to eat, man,
or you'll die of mono.
And they could care less.
Get off me.
- Hey, watch it, man.
Where the hell you going?
Twinkle, twinkle, little Superstar.
Guard.
- Yeah?
I want to see the warden.
Pass the salt.
Boy.
Come on.
Go, baby.
That's going to get you
twenty-four hours in the hot box, boy.
I quit.
What makes you so tough?
I don't know. It just comes natural.
That'll cost you, boy.
Rise and shine.
Rise and shine.
Oh. It's room service.
Pretty gamey.
Shower and put on some clean whites.
The warden wants to see you.
The warden?
- Get on down there.
Well?
What do you think of my team?
- Mean.
Crude, but mean.
I was depending on you, you know.
Well, there's so little time left now,
it's quite a problem.
They need something
before that first game.
You have to win the first game?
- Right.
Well, it's relatively simple.
Yeah. Get yourself a tune-up game,
you know?
A what?
A tune-up game, like the pros have,
with a hungry team not in your league.
You bring them here
and kick the shit out of them.
Well.
How do you think
we'd do against the pros?
That team against the pros?
- Yeah.
You'd have a real problem.
Well, how do you think
we'd do against the cons?
I didn't know they had a team.
- They don't.
But you've given me an inspiration.
I've decided, Mister Crewe, that
you're going to put one together for me.
For that little tune-up game, you know?
And you're going to play quarterback.
I can't.
Why? They're semi-pro,
you said yourself. A big joke.
That's why people like me around,
my sense of humour.
Mister Crewe,
as old Mister Sam used to say,
'In this institution,
to get along, you go along'.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I'm just going to do what's left
of my eighteen months quietly,
and I'm out of here.
Oh, yes. Eighteen months.
But that is to make parole.
That was before you struck
Captain Knauer.
Your basic sentence
is from two to five years.
You could be here a long time.
If I get this team together, how long
do I have to get them organized?
Four weeks.
We're talking about early parole?
- I believe we are.
All right. I'll play.
What? I didn't hear.
I'll play.
- Sir.
I'll play, sir.
History. I read you
like a book, Mister Crewe.
One more thing.
What is it?
You keep Knauer off my back.
Give us a game, Mister Crewe.
I'll give you a game.
'Hit and be hit'.
'Anyone with any experience
or desire. Prison football team sign-up'.
Well, what do you think?
- No.
Maybe I'll get annihilated. Forget it.
- He's right.
Now, wait a second. Hey.
Here's how I look at it.
Suppose you break your leg or something.
That's six weeks easy time
in the hospital. That's biscuits and gravy.
Tell me something.
Would they let me play tackle?
Sure.
So I'd spend half the time looking
directly into Walking Boss's eyes?
Now you got it.
- I've always had a thing for him.
Walking Boss always had a thing for you.
Hold it. Don't you guys know
a good thing when you see it?
You get a free crack at the guards,
even a chance to kill one.
Legal.
- Bullshit. I ain't signing that damn thing.
Come on, everybody.
When Rotka's right, he's right.
This honky golden boy sold out
his own team-mates, didn't he?
Damn sure did.
Did it once, he'll do it again.
- Right.
Hi.
Hi.
You know you're doing it all wrong?
- Yeah?
Yeah. You'll never put
a team together with that bunch.
Well, I appreciate the advice.
I can help you.
I'm Nate Scarboro.
Nate Scarboro, Giants?
- Yeah.
Step into my office.
- Thank you.
I'm Paul Crewe.
- Yeah, I know.
You made All Pro, didn't you?
- Right.
Why'd you quit?
- It was simple.
Doc said, 'Quit football or walking'.
Too many knee operations.
I figured walking was better than sitting.
Maybe I made the wrong choice.
You got about 15 guys worth a damn.
The rest... How long did Hazen give you?
A month.
- Oh, you bought a bill of goods.
Didn't have any choice.
You don't have one black player.
There are at least 15 here
with enough experience to make this club.
None signed up.
I played eleven years
in the league, never even got a hangnail.
I'm not going to get hurt in this game.
I'm getting the biggest guys I can
and surrounding myself.
I've watched the guards play
for eleven years.
I've seen how they won and why they lost.
I know those bums
better than they know themselves.
You just got yourself a job.
Head coach.
Great bunch of guys you got.
'Strangled both wives with panty hose'.
'Triple murder
including body dismemberment'.
'Hacked mother with meat cleaver'.
Charming.
Double-check the ones with two stars.
They're the most violent.
Got any three-stars?
Damn it, Warden,
I think this game's a big mistake.
Captain, not only will you have the chance
to hone our team to a fine edge,
you'll also have the opportunity
to learn a great deal about life.
Why is it, do you suppose,
that I can walk through this yard,
surrounded by hate,
and in total command?
Because you've got fifteen gun turrets
all around you that say you can.
Partly, partly.
They could grab us right now
and slit our throats, but they don't.
We get the right person, right place,
right time, we can surprise them.
One game, one time. We can do it.
Hey, you guys about through?
Time's almost up.
OK, Pop. Hold on.
You better hurry up.
What have you got for me, Sunshine?
I can get you steroids, vitamins,
greenies, anything you want.
I'm the best hustler in the joint.
How much of what he says can he do?
He can get you laid in here.
With a woman.
What more can I tell you?
- Oh, yeah?
But can you get me
the guards' medical files?
What for?
- To find out who's had broken bones.
Sonny Tannen, strong as an ox.
You'll love him.
That him?
- That's him.
Hello, Sonny.
How'd you like to play some football?
Football?
Would you like that?
You mean, we'd really
get to hit the guards?
You like that, Sonny?
Report to the practice field
tomorrow morning, nine o'clock.
Cool it.
What's his name?
- Indian.
That makes sense.
- Now, don't do any ethnic jokes.
Indian, this is Paul Crewe.
- Hi.
I hear you play some football.
Little bit.
- Where?
Oklahoma State.
- Oklahoma State U?
Prison.
- Yeah.
First, we get you out of here
and on the football team.
How?
Well, we'll work on it.
That pretty heavy?
About 400 pounds.
That's pretty heavy.
George Samson Granada.
Mister Florida 1964.
Paul Crewe.
You know Florida?
- Yeah.
Yeah, they got tough cops here.
Small, but tough.
We're getting up a football game
against the guards.
Wondered if you and some of your
buddies here would like to join in.
With the guards?
I'd like that.
Sign him up.
- I'm way ahead of you.
See you around.
- Look forward to it.
Samson, huh?
Samson.
- Don't cut your hair.
What do you think?
Defensively, we can hold them
to two or three touchdowns.
But we need better pass receiving
and more speed to win.
To win?
I'm just talking about surviving.
Who's talking about winning?
So am I. This isn't just
a football game to the warden.
He shows you and this team up,
he's showing up all the prisoners.
It's just a game.
All I want is to survive it.
It's just a game.
Not to him it isn't.
It's a fear and violence philosophy:
a chance to be free for a few hours,
to try and be men again,
so he can destroy us.
Nate, if you're thinking
about winning the game,
you're as crazy as he is.
Maybe so.
But you spend 14 years in this tank...
...and you realise there's only two things
they can't sweat or beat out of you.
Your balls.
Better hang onto them because
they're all you'll have when you get out.
Goodnight, Nate.
- Goodnight.
Use of toilet facilities is suspended
for two hours until repairs are complete.
Sorry, men.
Mace.
- Yeah.
Follow my lead.
We're going to do this sucker.
Yeah, we got a line-up, we'd jam him.
Yeah, let's go see what this boy wants.
Pretty boy, we know what you want.
We don't play no ball.
Figured you did.
- We do but we don't.
There it is.
Weren't you two drafted by the pros?
- The pros.
I understand that, but we no longer
perform for the honkies' amusement.
Hey, man, I'll play.
But guarantee me that I'll start.
You got it.
- All right.
What's wrong with you, nigger?
We don't fuck with them.
I'm going to play football.
- But not with them honkies.
You better leave. We'll talk later.
Yeah, leave. You look better
going than you did coming, anyway.
What's wrong with you?
I'm going to play football.
Look, brother...
- I ain't your goddamn brother.
You know what, Granville? You're nothing
but a big old dumb stupid fool.
Makes more sense for me to be
busting their heads, than busting yours.
Oh, nigger, please. Shit.
Where are they?
They're not due for another
five minutes. What's the matter?
We're in big trouble.
I don't even know if these clowns
played high school football,
and we're playing a semi-pro team.
Plus, I haven't touched
a ball in seven years.
Don't worry.
Once you've got it, you've got it.
Throw one at that tyre over there.
It's just like making love.
Once you've done it,
you never forget how.
See?
All right, men. We're not going to have
time to run any complicated patterns.
So we're going to concentrate
on the basic plays.
But we might learn a few 'specialty
plays', if you know what I mean.
Naturally, we're going to try to get away
with as much as possible.
My executive assistant, Mr Nate
Scarboro, will be more than happy...
...to show you just exactly how much
you can try to get away with.
The one thing that you're going to have
to remember, the most important factor,
is to protect your quarterback, me.
Wait a minute. That's no bullshit.
If anything happens to me,
if I get hurt, we're going to have to live
with the fact that we had one chance,
one chance in a million,
to humiliate those bastards,
and we blew it.
Is that clear?
- Yeah.
All right.
We're going to hurt them, right?
Right.
All right. We're going to kick
the shit out of them, right?
Right.
- What?
Right.
Right, right, all right.
Now, backs and ends come with me,
the rest stay here.
OK, linemen. Come on, linemen.
Come on out here.
What's the agility rating?
- Maximum is 10.
All right, just hit the holes,
I don't want to hear you hit any rubber.
Knees high.
Come on, let's go, let's go...
That's a two.
Let's go. Very good. Knees high.
Seven.
Let's go. Hubba, hubba. Knees high.
OK, let's move over
to the blocking dummies.
Come on, Sonny. Sonny, over here.
All right, Granny.
What do I give Granny?
- Six.
Seven.
Would that be a ten?
- That's a ten.
All right. I want to see you really hit.
On three. Hut one.
Hut two. Hut three.
All right.
Let's protect the passer this time.
Good idea.
Set.
Hut one. Hut two. Hut three.
Sorry, man.
- Nice tackle.
Hey, Coach.
Where are all those
specialists you promised me?
Jesus Christ.
There he is, Connie Shokner.
The very baddest cat in the joint.
Even the guards are terrified of him.
He killed five people on the outside
and two in here, with his bare hands.
That karate's bad.
That's before he learned karate.
- Oh.
What's he doing now?
Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.
Paul. Paul.
I smell a rat.
- Hello, Unger.
Paul.
I've got something important to ask you.
I want to be manager.
Caretaker's manager.
- I'm better than him. Let me prove it.
Beat it, Unger.
- Fuck off.
Paul, why don't you like me?
I'm crazy about you.
I think you're terrific.
Friendship is something
that should never be taken lightly, Paul.
I really want people to like me,
but they never do.
I'd like very much to be your friend, Paul.
Well, it would be an honour
and a privilege, Unger.
Now, if you'll just excuse me.
Paul.
You sure about that?
I can't be manager?
Caretaker's manager.
If I'd have only found you sooner,
you know?
Good thing he loves you.
He burnt to death five people he didn't like.
Putty in my hands.
Come out, boy. Come out.
Hello, Mister Shokner.
Know how to play football?
- Yeah.
Good. Would you like to play football
with us inmates?
No.
- Oh.
We're playing the guards.
Yeah. I want to play.
He wants to play.
Thank you, Mister Shokner.
Now, remember,
nobody hits the quarterback.
Blue 28.
Set. Hut.
He broke my fucking nose.
You bastard,
you broke my fucking nose.
Calm down. I'll fix it.
I don't want to play this game.
He broke my nose.
- I'm going to fix it, OK? Here we go.
How does it look?
- It looks 100% better, doesn't it?
100%.
- It does?
Yeah.
He did that on purpose.
- No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
- Tell him you...
Tell him you're sorry.
Please.
OK. I'm sorry.
OK, everybody.
Huddle up, let's go.
He said sorry.
Bullshit.
- He said he was sorry.
You dumb pussy.
Try it again.
- Three, twenty-five, hut, hut.
All right.
What about the rest of the team?
Outside of Crewe, the only one
who looks like anything is Granville.
Granville could give you real trouble.
- All right, that's all.
Well?
- It's going to be a turkey shoot.
He's right, sir.
We're going to destroy 'em.
It's a cinch, boss. A cinch.
Cinch.
Destroy 'em.
Too cute.
That's what you said last year before
we lost to Endicott Steel, remember?
There's no sense us taking any chances,
letting ourselves get hurt.
So see what we can do about Granville.
- Yes, sir.
Granville, get your ass over here.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
What the hell you think you're doing, boy?
You pick that up.
Yes, sir.
What is your problem, fat man?
Know why you spades always
calling each other 'brother'?
No, sir.
'Cause half of you don't know who your
daddy is, so you might be brothers.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
You think that's funny?
- Yes, sir.
You want to hit me, don't you?
No, sir, Lieutenant.
You're too ignorant to know when a man's
calling you a stupid, uneducated nigger.
Yes, sir, Lieutenant.
May I go now, sir?
Yeah, get out of my sight.
Blue 48.
Blue 48.
Set.
Hut one.
Shit.
Hey, lightweight.
What the hell is this?
Here come the rain-clouds.
What do they want?
Granny tells us you need a little help.
Says you can guarantee no work detail.
Yeah.
- Guarantee special food like Granny gets?
Yeah.
We get to hit those guards
like Granny said?
You get to hit 'em.
What else can we offer them?
...having a Geneva conference
about playing with us.
What is this bullshit?
Well, Mister Crewe.
We've come to terms.
Compliments from
the Greater Chicago Youth Authority.
There goes the neighbourhood.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, sir.
...especially Unger.
Unger?
- Yes.
Unger has a direct pipeline
to Captain Knauer.
It's impossible for me to have
a secret practice while Unger's around.
I'm supposed
to reschedule the yard activities...
...for three uninterrupted hours
of secret practice?
That right?
- Yes, sir. Right.
And you will talk to Captain Knauer?
I'll speak to the captain on those matters.
- Thank you, sir.
Mister Crewe.
Just what is it you have up your sleeve?
I'm just trying to give you
a football team, Warden.
And along the way, maybe give the men
some pride and some dignity.
Of course, only for a little while.
I know you've got something more
bouncing around inside that head of yours.
You want a game, right?
My men don't have a chance in hell
of winning that game.
You know it, I know it,
I just don't want them to know it.
OK?
Man. I ain't had steak like this in five years.
I ain't eaten inside in six.
What have you done for me lately?
Today may be the high point
of a long and colourful career.
Three, count 'em,
three gigantic rip-offs.
First, I've got a box of brand new
equipment waiting to be stashed.
Compliments of Captain Knauer?
- No less.
And the piece de resistance:
how would you like actual game films
of the guardsmen in action?
Can you do that?
- Warden's own home movies.
Caretaker, you never cease to amaze me.
Never. But you said three gigantic rip-offs.
That's only two.
You don't want to ruin the surprise.
- Surprise?
There's one thing.
- What?
You're going to have to perform
a personal service.
What kind of personal service?
The warden's expecting you.
Won't you come this way.
Thank you, Captain.
- Thank you.
I'm glad you're not in the swamp
anymore. That can ruin a man.
Sure can.
We don't have a great deal of time.
We have 15 minutes.
The game films.
- Thank you. That's terrific.
Like I said, we only have 15 minutes.
Uh-uh. Won't go over the cuffs.
You do this very often?
I'm as far from Tallahassee
as you are, honey.
Shokner.
Shokner.
- Yep.
Hit him high like that,
he'll break your back.
Breaks your back,
he's going to break the Superstar's back.
Don't worry about him.
I'll get that son of a bitch with an empi.
Kiai.
Ready. Set.
- Kiai.
Ready. Set.
- Kiai.
Take this bandage,
dip it into the plaster of Paris,
wrap it around the cast,
and in 15 minutes it's hard as rock.
Got it?
- Got it.
This is a picture of Walking Boss.
- Yeah.
He once broke his right thigh-bone,
maybe you can clip it.
We'll break it again.
- Got it?
Got it.
- All right. We can do it.
Gentlemen, what we have here,
in common parlance,
is known as a set of brass knuckles.
...temporary disabilities.
Balls. Gut. Ribs.
You got it?
- Got it.
...the ball is snapped,
you go into your opponent,
blocking him with your left arm
and bring this hand up into his chin,
and I'll guarantee he'll be incapacitated
for the next several moments.
Got it?
- Got it.
All right. Here's the play we're going to use.
I don't think the guards
know this formation.
It's called 'Incidental punishment
after the ball is blown dead'.
Any man you tackle gets an extra elbow,
knee, or kick in the mouth. Got it?
Got it.
I am, without a doubt,
the finest maker of raisin jack
in the entire joint.
I'm going to call this batch 'Old Caretaker'.
Do you always keep it in there?
Well, it seems like a logical place.
Listen...
- It does get to you.
...you and me are buddies, ain't we?
I got you laid.
I got you the game film. I got you all
them monsters. I'm getting you drunk.
Yes, you are.
There's one thing still bothers me.
- What's that?
Why'd you shave them points?
I told you, for the money.
No, no. Come on.
Give me the real reason.
You really want to know, huh?
I never gave a shit about football,
or anything else.
The only thing
I ever cared about's my old man.
My old man was blind,
never saw me play.
Shit, I've been a professional
ever since I was 12 years old.
Hustling nickels and dimes playing pool.
Didn't make enough money
to take care of him.
And I figured when I got to pro ball,
I'd make one big killing.
One big one.
Make enough money to set him up,
take care of him the rest of his life.
Then the son of a bitch died.
Do you buy that?
Well, that's good because it's bullshit.
Why do you think I shaved points?
For the money.
One minute to lock-up. One minute.
Know what my problem's always been?
No, what?
I've always had my shit together.
Always.
My problem has been that I couldn't lift it.
I've got to go home.
Oh, you're going to be a party pooper?
It's OK. Some pro quarterbacks
drink all night long.
I know.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Paul. Here,
don't you want to take one with you?
Lock it up.
Lock it up.
- Lock it up now.
Lock up. Turn off radios.
Turn off the radio.
- Lock it up.
Come on, boy. Move.
Want to be tucked in?
There's nothing I can do for you,
Crewe got to the warden.
Captain, if you put me back in the general
population, one of those guys'll kill me.
That's what happens to finks.
You've got Crewe to thank for that.
He blew the whistle on you.
On you specifically.
You got the problem.
- I can help you.
Split right. Full back, dive right.
On one, ready?
Go left. Go left. Go round.
Twenty-eight.
Hut.
Way to go, way to go.
Let's go.
- Set.
Hut.
All right.
General call for lock-up.
Let's do it. That's my team.
- All prisoners return to their cells.
Shop period 5 will begin in 10 minutes.
In ten minutes, we expect all men in
shop period 5 to meet outside cell block...
Cell block 3A will take first call for dinner.
Dinner rotation will start with cell block 3A.
We don't know enough about these guys.
Why don't we take another look
at the X-rays?
The medical files are on my bed,
get them, will you?
Who do you see playing flanker?
- Miller.
Get the goddamn key.
Warden. Warden.
Bring that key.
Come on, get him out of there.
Earth to earth,
ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
we commend the soul
of James 'Caretaker' Farrell.
And now, the peace of God
which passeth all understanding,
shall guard your hearts and souls.
Unto our God and Father
be glory for ever and ever.
Amen.
Good afternoon, fellow inmates,
correctional officers,
honoured guests,
ladies and gentlemen.
This is Matt 'Killer'Farrell broadcasting
on the Interstate Correctional Facility,
the communication broadcasting
system of your state prison.
This is part of Warden Rudolph Hazen's
progressive rehabilitation programme.
This is indeed an historic occasion
as we sit here...
...in this marvellous
Edward J. Hazen memorial stadium...
...provided for us by our warden,
Rudolph Hazen.
All right. Stand up for the warden.
Just so you'll know,
we've posted armed guards
all along the wall...
...and at the public end of the field.
So if any of you were thinking
of mingling with the civilians...
...and wandering off with the crowd
at the end of the game,
we will shoot you.
Have a nice game, boys.
See you on the field, Superstar.
All right, now it's our turn.
Here's a surprise from the Caretaker.
Come on. Come on.
Born free...
...and life is worth living...
...but only worth living...
'cause you're...
...born free
Thanks to the men of cell block C,
affectionately known as...
...the Citrus State Cheerios.
The teams are coming onto the field.
First, the Guards' defensive unit, led by
Captains Rassmeusen and Bogdanski.
Leading out the offensive unit,
the Guards' coach and captain,
Wilhelm Knauer.
Let's hear it for Warden Rudolph Hazen...
...who has sponsored
today's progressive contest.
Let's get the ball game going.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Mean Machine.
They stole our new uniforms.
They got our uniforms.
That's right.
...all time great,
quarterback for the Mean Machine,
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe.
The balance of the Mean Machine
with coach, Nate Scarboro.
Please stand and join Mike Syke
in the singing of our national anthem.
What are you dressed up for,
Hallowe'en?
I figured if you get far enough ahead, you'd
let this middle-aged kid have some fun.
Bullshit.
Call it.
- Heads.
It is a head.
You've won the toss and may elect to...
How did you steal our uniforms?
Cute, aren't they?
Have a good clean game.
So no matter what,
just keep sticking it to them.
Now, who are we?
- The Mean Machine.
The Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Hit that dirt.
One, two, one, two.
Ready, go.
- Hold them out and don't let 'em score
Check them out
Hold them out and don't let 'em score
Check them out Hold them out...
...and don't let 'em score
Three. Twenty-five.
Hut. Hut.
Kick was blocked by Granville.
The score now is Guardsmen 6,
Mean Machine 0.
Guardsmen kick off.
Good defence. Way to go.
Here. Here.
At the fourth down and a prize attack.
Mean Machine serpentines
up to the line of scrimmage.
Scrimmage is first and ten.
Tighten the line. Move it.
All right, here come the bad guys.
Pick 'em up.
Set.
Hut.
...in the end zone for two points
and a slashing tackle by number 61.
Bogdanski?
- Bogdanski.
Who's supposed to stop him?
I am.
- Right.
...goes out there in front of him.
A free kick. Charlie Blue Eyes kicks.
Taken at the Guards' 40.
And he goes down
for an 18-yard drop back.
He's dropped for a five-yard loss,
by number 66, Wilbur Gillan.
...and he's fumbled.
A Machine ball on their own 32.
He's making the pass.
He's hit by a vicious
diving tackle by Bogdanski.
It's going to be a penalty for
Bogdanksi for hitting before the pass.
So ladies and gentlemen,
that signals the end of the first quarter.
...Mean Machine nothing.
Ball goes back to Crewe,
he's waiting to pass...
Scores.
Damn.
Settle down. Good hands. Here we go.
Loose showboat on the centre snap.
We're going to fake it. Ready?
And the Mean Machine will now line up
for the touchdown attempt.
That makes the score eight to seven
in favour of the Guardsmen.
Listen, guys.
If they fake the Walking Boss, cover me.
I gotta get that bastard.
- Bury that son of a bitch.
First and ten on their own 31.
Wilhelm Knauer. He's dropped
for a two-yard loss on the 29-yard line.
Give me the brass knuckles.
Take a good whiff.
Take a good whiff. How many fingers?
Three.
- Great.
If that Levitt comes up the middle again,
I'm going to clothesline him.
Now's the time.
Four three Mau Mau. Ready?
- Hey, hey, hey.
Receiver. Set. Hut.
Ball goes to Knauer...
Levitt was clotheslined,
and he is not moving.
I think I broke his fucking neck.
I think he broke his fucking neck.
I told you I broke his fucking neck.
I think he broke his fucking neck.
Sonny, if Knauer drops back
to punt, nail him.
You bet your ass. I'll get him.
We need the ball.
A little bit of safety here.
A timid or chicken kind of football.
Ball goes to Knauer
and he's smashed down.
Give me a break, OK?
Did you see that? Are you blind?
You're supposed to be impartial.
Shit. Might as well be
a goddamn try-out for you.
Third and long.
He likes to throw on the flat.
And the half ends with the score:
Guardsmen 15, Mean Machine 13.
We'll have the half-time statistics
for you in a few moments,
but right now it's time
for our gala half-time activities.
Any suggestions, sir?
- Give your team a pep talk.
Yes, sir.
You've got to be a football hero
To get along with a beautiful girl
You gotta be a touchdown getter you bet
If you want to get a baby to pet
Hey, Crewe.
What kind of football you call that?
Same kind you're playing.
We've let you mothers slide,
now we're going to hang you out to dry.
Hey, Wilhelm. Hang loose.
Those bastards were good.
Come on, damn it.
- Let's go.
Call yourselves a football team?
Bunch of candy-asses.
They're laughing at you next door.
Listen.
What about Mawabe.
He's a bigshot, man...
Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
You wanted a game, you got one.
I never mentioned winning.
You never said
anything about losing, either.
I'll spell it out.
We've got Unger in custody.
He's confessed to killing Caretaker.
- What?
He said you knew all about it.
But you didn't notify Captain Knauer.
And that makes you an accessory.
You're full of crap.
- You sent Caretaker to that cell.
You are an accessory to murder.
You could be looking at twenty years,
and counting.
Bullshit.
There's no way that would stick in court.
No? Mister Crewe, you could be in this
institution until you're old and grey,
or until you're dead,
whichever's first, I can promise you that.
You're going to lose the game.
And I want a 21-point spread.
I can't do that.
Of course you can.
You've done it before.
If I give you the 21 points,
will you call off the dogs?
The dogs?
If you've got the game in the bag,
you tell your guys to coast.
I don't want any of my men hurt.
You have my word.
Once we get the 21 points.
You know, there's only one thing
I'm sorry about.
What's that?
That you're not playing,
knocking heads.
I'm afraid I'm a little too old for that.
No. You never had the guts to begin with.
You're playing like a bunch of girls.
Every one of you. Candy-asses.
You know who's beating you out there?
Scum's beating you out there. Scum.
And that's the lowest part of the world.
Those are the criminals
and rapists. The murderers.
You're supposed
to represent law and order.
You're supposed to...
- Listen to this shit.
He thinks he's Rockne.
You're letting the flag down.
Go out there and do something about it.
Offence and defence play together.
Let's go now. Come on.
You're guaranteed a 21-point spread.
- What?
Because of your performance,
I was forced to make a deal.
In the second half we can beat them.
I don't care what you think.
You'll do as I told you.
Mister Crewe will do the same.
Yes, sir.
When you and your mental midgets
are 21 points ahead,
I want you to inflict as much painful
damage on the prisoners as possible.
So you understand,
before this game is over,
I want every prisoner in this institution
to know what I mean by power,
and who controls it.
Do we understand each other?
Yes, sir.
It's 15- 13...
...and the second half of a surprisingly
close ball game is about to begin.
...ball goes down
and is taken by number 36.
Set. Hut.
...goes straight back, he's getting good
protection and is looking for the receiver.
Throw the ball, man.
I'm open. Crewe.
Crewe.
Crewe.
Crewe. Oh, shit.
I own that hamburger. Pass it.
- I was open. Can't you see?
Enough. I'm calling the plays.
Hut.
First and ten for the Guards
in opposition territory.
All right. No sweat.
Crewe has been poor
in this last series of plays.
Something seems
to have happened to him.
That last pass wasjust not
a Paul Crewe pass.
Come on, we'll get it back.
Touchdown.
Stick it to 'em. He's going to choke.
Paul Crewe looking to pass.
Gets a pass off and it's short.
It's short and it's picked off by number 21.
We got it. We got it.
It's another touchdown for the Guards,
bringing their score to 28,
to thirteen for the Mean Machine.
What's happening?
- I'm having a bad day.
Bad day?
- Yes. Have you never had one?
Get off my back.
Set. Hut.
Ball snaps back and there's a fumble...
- Fumble, fumble.
What is that?
- You call yourself good.
Why did you change uniform?
Bullshit.
Paul Crewe
is taking himself out of the ball game.
Paul Crewe is limping badly.
He's limping off the field.
Pop Steadman's bringing him to the bench.
We may have seen
the last of Paul Crewe for today.
Let's get this shoe off
and look at that ankle.
I could give him one of my empis.
I'd knock his head off.
I could be inside making wallets.
Doesn't feel broken.
Somebody step on it or did you twist it?
Twisted it.
- Golden boy? Superstar?
To think we fought Granny for this crap.
Really sold us out, didn't you, Crewe?
Anybody can see he's throwing the game.
Pull 'em down, go, let's go.
Let's go.
...at the line of scrimmage.
Less than an inch for a touchdown.
The ball is going back to Keller...
A touchdown for the Guards,
making the score 35 to 13.
With 5 minutes 58 left in the third quarter,
which has been all Guardsmen,
the score is 35 for the Guardsmen
and 13 for the Mean Machine.
No point.
With 5.58 left in the third period,
the score remains 35 for the Guardsmen
and 13 for the Mean Machine.
Kill that Indian mother.
Get that Indian by the boots. Get him over.
Good blocking.
Keep it up. Keep it up.
Come on now.
Guards'ball, third and two
on their own 37-yard line.
Knauer takes the pass
and throws it to Levitt...
...Levitt takes the ball and he's going to
the Mean Machine 30-yard line...
...on me.
Jesus Christ. Another injury.
Come on.
...number 74, Shop Steward, is badly hurt,
bleeding badly from the mouth.
...ball goes back to Knauer, who
hands off 11 for another long gain.
...another injury...
...and it's Sonny Tannen.
He seems to be badly shaken up.
Crybaby son of a bitch.
Time. Another man down.
Superstar, what kind of deal did you make
this time? What did Hazen promise?
They're killing those guys out there
and you don't even care.
He's right, Crewe.
You fooled the hell out of me.
I trusted you and you let me down.
I know you don't give a shit about nothing,
but I didn't think you'd sell us out.
Granny,
better get back in there.
Four three inside flank.
Ready? Break.
Ball's on the Mean Machine 48-yard line.
...ball's gone to Knauer,
he hands off 44...
...he's picking one up...
What is it?
- Broken collarbone.
You sure?
- I'm sure.
Officials are trying to break up that fight,
it's getting pretty rough in there.
Granny Granville is hurt. He's holding
his shoulder and appears to be badly hurt.
Probably a broken bone,
but he is on his feet.
Satisfied now?
Jesus, Sonny.
The officials will assess the penalty.
15 yards for unsporting conduct.
Hey, Pop.
- Yeah?
That time you hit Hazen in the mouth,
was it worth it?
Was it worth 30 years?
Yeah. For me it was.
Well, give me my goddamn shoe.
Wait a minute.
Paul Crewe, number 22, is going back
into the game for the Mean Machine.
All right. New quarterback. Shok, you're
on the bench. Move over. Here we go.
Makes no difference where you go.
- Fuck you.
Look who's back.
It's the baby boy.
Set.
- Set, my ass.
What is he trying to pull?
Hut.
- Uh-uh.
Get that Superstar.
Behind the line of scrimmage
for a six-yard goal.
Show 'em who's boss.
Get them. They ain't shit.
That's how it is?
They're in a huddle now.
There's the gun ending the third quarter.
That's the quarter.
Let's change ends.
Ball goes to Crewe. He's going to
pass on fourth and long-yard it.
...holds the ball and goes up the middle.
Crewe goes up the middle...
That's it, Paul.
The line is set...
- Hut.
...he's going up the centre.
Shotgun left. Shotgun.
Hut. Hut.
Crewe's looking for a receiver.
Where's he going?
There's a figure that graced
the Polo Grounds for years.
What are you guys so surprised about?
I'm not letting you have all the fun.
Bootleg on one.
Ready? Break.
OK. Come on.
Looks good. Keep it alive.
Set.
Hut.
There's a first down on the 20-yard line.
Your confidence back?
Get Scarboro.
- Son of a bitch.
Ball goes back to Crewe,
he's waiting to pass...
...by Bogdanski. Bogdanski hit
Nate Scarboro a cheap shot.
A reprehensible action.
Cheap shot.
Let me at the son of a bitch.
Old Double O
is down and seems badly hurt.
How is it, Nate?
I love it. After all these years,
my first touchdown.
It's got to be his knee.
I heard it pop.
Get him up.
- You'll be OK. Hang in there.
Hey, Paul. You've got to do it.
Screw Hazen.
- Don't worry. He'll get his.
Good old Nate Scarboro.
One of the most beloved men
this institution has had.
The extra point kick is good.
Tightening that score now to 35 to 20.
Blue Eyes can kick the ball ten yards,
can someone fall on it?
Right on.
- Then let's go.
Charlie Blue Eyes approaches the ball
and kicks...
It's an on-side kick...
And it's recovered for the Mean Machine.
Shut up. Shut up.
You're stinking the place up.
Can we take 'em?
- Yeah.
Split right. On two. Ready?
Set.
Hut.
Ball goes back to Crewe.
Crewe hands off to number 30...
...23 yards.
Crewe's down on the ten-yard line.
A beautiful piece of razzle-dazzle.
Paul Crewe reached
into his bag of tricks that time, folks.
Charlie Blue Eyes splits the uprights
and that makes it 35 to 27.
How we doing?
- Fine.
There you go, Nate.
I heard you were on your way in.
Hey, did they tell you
about my touchdown?
We repeat, with five minutes
and four seconds left in the fourth quarter,
there is now only an eight-point difference.
Here we go.
- Can you drop-kick from here?
I could try.
- Drop-kick?
It's fourth and four
and we're going to drop-kick.
Shotgun.
Drop-kick, on one. Ready?
...he's got to come up
with something different.
Ball goes back to Charlie Blue Eyes...
I haven't seen one of those in years.
What was that?
- A drop-kick.
How much does that count?
- Three points.
For that? Bullshit.
The score stands Guards 35,
Mean Machine 30.
Fourth and 21
for the Mean Machine on their own 39.
Crewe is feigning...
...and he dumps off another pass.
...Bogdanski saves a touchdown.
Bogdanski is really wreaking havoc
on that Mean Machine team.
Quiet down.
Now, listen to me.
We're going to let Bogdanski come right
through. Nobody touch him. Got it?
I want to try something.
If it works, everybody hit him. Right?
Right.
- Split right. All curl, on one. Ready?
Red left.
Blue 69.
Blue 69.
Set.
...throws the ball
directly at Bogdanski's groin.
Get off him.
- That's bullshit.
They're unravelling the tangle now,
and there's a penalty against
the Mean Machine for roughness,
and that pass sure didn't look like
it was an accident.
Bogdanski is staggering,
but he is up and on his feet.
OK. We've got fifteenth.
Let's huddle up on the ball. Huddle up.
Unbelievable.
Hey, Bog.
Get out of here.
Come on.
- I know what I'm doing.
Worked once, got to work again. Right?
- Right.
All right.
One more time, on two. Ready?
It's third and 32 for the Mean Machine.
Set.
Hut.
Ball goes back to Crewe...
Crewe hits Bogdanski with the ball
right in the...
...in the nether regions.
Once again, Bogdanski is down,
the Mean Machine is dirty.
He's not breathing.
- Do something. Try mouth-to-mouth.
You want to?
- No way.
Ambulance. Help.
They are taking Bogdanski
off the field in an ambulance.
He pushed him.
You can't see,
you blind son of a bitch.
Hey, Walking Boss,
here's your crying towel.
You big fat-assed son of a bitch.
Go get off and stay off.
First down.
Time out.
Jesus.
Scooter, you want to hit somebody?
- Yeah.
All right. Tackle eligible.
Mawabe, talk to me.
What are you doing?
- One step off the line.
I'll step on the line.
- Right. On one. Ready?
Machine's ball, first and ten
on the Guards' 31-yard line.
Blue 28.
...less than one minute 57 seconds left.
Hut.
Protest that play.
Crewe, call time.
Time. Time.
Time, ref. Time.
First and goal on the one-yard line,
as Crewe calls time out, with...
...40 seconds left on the clock.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Quiet down. Split right...
Joe Jack.
Split right, sweep left.
On one. Ready?
Blue 28. Blue 28.
Set. Hut.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is really a ball game.
This is a great ball team.
They're giving these Guardsmen
the fight of their lives.
Split right, roll out right, option pass.
Be waiting, Mace.
On two, on two. Ready?
Second and goal.
- Blue 20.
Blue 20. Set. Hut.
Crewe feigns the pass...
...and he throws...
...stopping the clock again
with 16 seconds left.
Flip right, dive left, Indian.
Now, if we don't make it,
everybody yell time.
Everybody yell time.
On one. Ready?
Blue 29. Blue 29.
Set.
Ball goes back to Crewe...
Time. Time.
Crewe calls for his third and last time out...
...with seven seconds left on the clock.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Where the hell's he going?
Let's find out.
Crewe has taken his last time out
and he's heading toward the bench.
He's heading toward the bench
followed by his entire offensive unit.
Most unusual...
I don't know what they're doing,
it's silent as a church.
It looks more like a prayer meeting
than a huddle.
Whatever happens,
regardless of the outcome,
this has been one fantastic showing.
We've come too far together to stop now.
For Granny, for Nate,
for Caretaker, let's do it.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Hold it down.
- Cool it.
Set.
Hut.
Thirty-six, thirty-five,
in favour of the Mean Machine.
Ladies and gentlemen,
like the fabled phoenix of old...
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
You know, you guys ain't half bad.
- You're right.
Fuck you, boy.
Not today, boss.
History.
We stopped 'em. We are number one.
Where's your goddamn power theory now?
He's trying to escape.
Oh, shit.
- Officer.
Crewe.
- I'm talking to you.
Crewe.
He's trying to escape. Shoot him.
Crewe.
- You going to let him escape? Shoot.
Shoot him, you... Shoot him.
- Crewe.
Crewe.
- Kill him. Kill that son of a bitch.
Shoot him.
Game ball.
Stick this in your trophy case.
I knew you could do it.