The Love Parade (1929) Movie Script
I'll lay the dish here
Ooh, I I I I
To hold the fish here
Ooh, I I I I
The serviettes here
and now the cigarettes here
And matches too
They mustn't complain
A little candy
Ooh, I I I I
A little brandy
Ooh, I I I I
A bunch of roses
to show the way we entertain
And a little bottle of champagne
( Man Speaking French )
( Woman Speaking French )
( Man Speaking French )
- ( Woman Speaking French )
- ( French )
She's terribly jealous.
Oh!
Voil!
- ( Chuckles, Speaks French )
- ( French )
- Mon mari!
- Her husband!
Oh.
Paulette!
Paulette! Ma Paulette!
( Gunshot )
Paulette!
( French )
( Paulette Sighing, Moaning )
( French )
( French )
( French )
S'il vous plat.
Voil.
( French )
( Chattering )
Count Renard,
this scandal will be your last.
At any rate, your last in Paris.
As the ambassador of Sylvania...
I cannot any longer permit
our military attach...
to disgrace the name of our illustrious
country with his shameless escapades.
Your Excellency, please -
But that is an end.
You will leave at once for Sylvania and report
to Her Majesty the queen in person.
But, Your Excellency, I'm sure the stories
you've heard about me are horribly-
are horribly exaggerated.
Count Renard...
for one week, I made it my business
to follow you about personally.
Oh. I'm sorry I didn't know it,
Your Excellency.
I would have taken you
to some real places.
How dare you.
I know more about you
than you think.
My wife has told me everything.
You are to take the first train.
I think I had better take
the first airplane.
You are going by plane, monsieur?
Yes,Jacques.
And I've got to leave you.
You're not going to take me with you?
- I'm sorry.
- But what will you do without me?
Think how good I am
at making up excuses for you.
Why, I can even imitate your voice
on the telephone...
and pretend you're at home
to one lady...
when you're really having supper
with another.
Yes,Jacques.
You're a very good servant.
And you can tell lies
better than anybody I know.
But I won't need you anymore.
In fact, I will probably be sent
to a military prison.
But even so, you'll need me, monsieur.
Supposing someone you don't
want to see calls at the prison.
Who's going to tell them
you're not at home?
I can't see how anybody could be so anxious
to leave this beautiful Paris.
But, monsieur, I am a Frenchman.
And to be a Frenchman in Paris is nothing...
because everyone in Paris
is a Frenchman.
- That's true.
- But to be a Frenchman in -
- What is the name of your country?
- Sylvania.
That is different.
Why, even my stories will be new there.
I can actually tell them the one about
the Frenchman and the farmer's daughter.
Oh, please, monsieur,
take me to Pennsylvania.
- Sylvania.
- Take me to Sylvania.
All right,Jacques. I'll take you there.
Go and pack the bags.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, monsieur.
I am so happy.
( Barks )
I am not.
You'll never miss me when I'm gone
Paris
But I know that I'll miss you
You took a lot of pains
in teaching me
Why must we say adieu
I've seen your mild days
And some of your wild days
Down where the Seine flows
And where the champagne flows
You taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your judgment was
good enough for me
With you each night meant
the thrill of excitement
Montmartre and ladies
That love to raise Hades
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, Paris
please stay the same
I've seen your blonde girls
With beautiful blonde curls
Sweet Paris daughters
In all of your quarters
They taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your ladies
were good enough for me
I've met brunettes here
And little grisettes here
I've lost my station
and my reputation
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, ladies, please stay the same
I'm like my master
Now I'm leaving you
He's sad
So am I, Paris
I try to follow
in his footsteps too
A few may remember me
I've seen your mild maids
I've see your wild maids
Both shy and sporty
Tried all under 40
They taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your servants
were good enough for me
( Barking Tune )
( Barking Continues )
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, Paris
please, stay the same
Ladies and gentlemen, on your right
you see the Royal Opera House.
And on my left, the residence of
Her Majesty, Queen Louise I of Sylvania.
The construction of the castle
was begun under Maximilian I in 1537...
and finished in 1687
under Maximilian VIII.
The castle contains one of the most
beautiful picture galleries in the world...
and its collection of art treasures
is unsurpassed.
The castle represents
a value of $110 million.
- ( All Murmuring )
- ( Man ) $110 million?
- ( Chattering )
- 110!
- ( Man Shouting Orders )
- ( Drums Beating )
Company...
- halt!
- ( Drums Stop )
You call that a goose step?
Why, that isn't a chicken step!
- You blackguards!
- ( Man ) Lieutenant!
Don't you realize Her Majesty
is still asleep?
Quiet here! Take them away.
- Yes, sir.
- Shh!
( Whispers )
Yes, sir.
( Whispering )
Company...
left... face!
Forward- on tiptoes- march!
( Clock Chiming )
( Chiming Stops )
( Buzzing )
( Engine Droning )
Good morning, Your Majesty.
( Women )
Good morning, Your Majesty.
I'm so hopeful Your Majesty rested well.
Why am I always awakened from my dreams?
I'm sure it was a nice dream,
Your Majesty.
Oh, it was wonderful.
It was gorgeous.
Mmm. Oh.
Mmm.
I hope Your Majesty's dream comes true.
No.
I'm afraid it will always
have to remain...
a dream.
There's a land of charm that I know
Land of sweet romance
where I love to go
And its bounds touch my room
In the gloom
where the shadows creep
Someone I meet there waits for me
Someone tender
as a lover should be
And I whisper each night
As I close my eyes
In sleep
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
your romance has found me
I'm held
In your spell
Knowing so well
Dreams never tell
We two
can leave the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
can find us
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
I will share them
With you
Dream lover
fold your arms around me
Dream lover
your romance has found me
Oh, my darling
I am just longing for a love of my own
- Nobody indiscreet can find us
- Nobody indiscreet can find us, I know
Dream lover
-
- Secrets divine
-
- I will share them
With you
Please, Your Majesty.
Won't you tell us more about your dream?
I'm afraid I can't.
It wasn't just exactly
the sort of dream for a queen.
Was it the sort of dream
for a lady-in-waiting?
I hope not.
I had a lovely dream myself-
about Your Majesty.
I dreamed that Your Majesty
got married.
And you call that a lovely dream?
Why not, Your Majesty?
We all wish, we all hope, we all pray...
- that very soon Your Majesty will be -
- Married.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- Marriage. Marriage.
In all my country,
nothing else is ever spoken of.
What do the children learn at school?
" The queen is unmarried still. "
What do the papers write about?
"Is the queen to marry?"
What does my Parliament debate?
"When shall the queen marry?"
And from my ministers:
"Whom shall the queen marry?"
Marriage. Marriage.
That's all I hear, morning or night.
( " Wedding March" )
Didn't I tell that conductor
never to play the " Wedding March" again?
But, Your Majesty,
it is not the same conductor.
- This is a new one.
- Where's the old one?
He is being married today.
Oh.
Oh.
Phew!
( Continues )
- ( Ends )
- ( Trumpet Fanfare )
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Your Majesty.
Well?
Whom can you suggest today?
For what, Your Majesty?
For my husband.
Now don't tell me
you weren't talking about it.
You're always talking about it.
We have no one to suggest,
Your Majesty.
We have given the matter up.
- Really?
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Majesty.
Oh, what a relief.
( Chuckles )
Oh, how glad I am.
( Chuckles )
And, uh...
why have you given the matter up,
may I ask?
- Well, uh -
- ( All Clearing Throats )
- You see, it's rather difficult.
- ( Ministers ) Very difficult.
Difficult?
You tell me it's difficult
to find a husband for me?
( Ministers )
Yes, Your Majesty.
Excuse me, Baron.
How does Her Majesty feel today?
( Louise ) And that's final, Admiral.
I certainly don't need any help from the navy.
Yes, Your Majesty.
But surely Your Majesty must realize
that the field for selection is limited.
If marrying you
were to make a man a king...
that would be different.
But Your Majesty's husband
would be simply prince consort.
After all, what is a prince consort?
He is a gentleman with a thousand duties
and no rights.
- He has nothing to say, nothing to do.
- Well, I wouldn't say that.
( Whispering )
Of course,
he has something to do, naturally.
And yet, uh, he has nothing to do,
if you see what I mean.
I see.
He is Your Majesty's husband
and nothing else.
Nothing else?
- But isn't it enough to be my husband?
- But, Your Majesty-
It never seems to occur to you gentlemen
that there might possibly be some men...
who would enjoy being my husband
even if I were not a queen.
My face isn't actually painful to look at.
My complexion's quite good.
And in case you're too serious-minded
to notice such things...
let me inform you...
my legs are perfect.
There's only one other leg like that
in the whole of Sylvania.
And that's it.
Do you see?
Thank you.
I didn't see, Your Majesty.
( Whispering )
How do you think I should behave?
Should I be humble, proud, apologetic?
Say as little as possible.
I don't think your French accent
will please Her Majesty.
( Strong French Accent )
Is it still very notice-able?
No. It's very noticeable.
( French Pronunciation )
Oh. But that's terrible.
No. It's terrible.
How did you acquire this accent?
( Chuckles )
I'll tell you.
Once, in Paris,
I had an awful cold.
I went to see a great French doctor
to cure it.
I rang the bell.
The door was opened by a lady.
- Mm-hmm.
- A beautiful lady.
Mm-hmm.
The doctor's wife.
( No Audible Dialogue )
And in less than a month...
I had lost my cold...
but I had a terrific French accent.
( Louise ) And if I'm talked to like this again,
I'll dissolve the cabinet.
- ( Minister ) Yes, Your Majesty.
- I'll dismiss the whole general staff.
- ( Minister #2 ) Yes, Your Majesty.
- And if that band...
plays the "Wedding March"once more...
- I'll give orders to shoot!
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Majesty.
I'm sorry, Count.
You're next.
- What do you want?
- Count Alfred Renard...
Your Majesty's military attach
at Your Majesty's embassy in Paris.
Ordered home for an audience
with Your Majesty.
- You'll have to wait.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- What do you want?
- Count Alfred Renard...
Your Majesty's military attach
at Your Majesty's embassy in Paris.
Ordered home for an audience
with Your Majesty.
- Didn't I tell you to wait?
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- Then wait.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Count.
Count Alfred, I understand
you've been seriously involved...
in a disgraceful affair with a woman.
No, Your Majesty.
With several.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Yes, Your Majesty.
( Both Chuckling )
I don't think it's funny.
I think it's serious.
Very serious.
- And I shall have to punish you.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- I shall have to punish you very severely.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Otherwise you'd start all over again.
( Chuckles )
Yes!
I shall think of a punishment
that will cure you forever.
An awful punishment.
Let me see.
An awful punishment.
You shall be ordered...
to grow a beard.
- A beard, Your Majesty?
- Yes.
That will stop all your philandering.
You'll have to be serious in a beard.
And am I to be permitted to attend
Your Majesty after the beard is grown?
Certainly. I shall want to see
that my instructions have been obeyed.
Then I fear Your Majesty
will regret the order.
I look terrible in a beard.
- Really?
- Oh, dreadful.
( Chuckles ) Of course, there are men
who look fine in beards, like sheiks.
- Well, yes. That's what I thought.
- But I don't.
- No?
- Oh!
Oh, I grew one once to see.
Ah, it came out all red and scraggly.
Oh, no. No, I assure Your Majesty...
it would be the most
awful-looking beard in Sylvania.
And - ( Chuckles )
that's saying a great deal.
- Well, then don't grow it.
- No, Your Majesty.
- Don't do it.
- No, no, Your Majesty.
- No beard.
- No, no, Your Majesty.
- You promise me.
- My word of honor.
But what can I do with you?
I've got to punish you.
May I make a suggestion?
You want to suggest
a punishment for yourself?
Yes.
Of course.
Please.
Well, tell me.
If I were in Your Majesty's place...
I would say this:
" Count Alfred...
" the sort of life you've been leading
must stop.
You shall not return to Paris. "
Very good.
Then I would say:
- " Alfred" -
- Hmm?
" Count Alfred, you shall stay here...
" in the palace...
" attached to me.
And from morning till night,
never dare to leave my side. "
And you call that a punishment?
- ( Chuckles )
- You're the most impudent man I've ever met.
You seem to forget
you're talking to your queen.
( Rings )
Count Alfred will dine with me tonight.
At 8:00?
Yes, Your Majesty.
- White uniform.
- ( Chuckles )
Yes, Your Majesty.
You understand?
Oh, yes, I understand.
With such a bad report of you
I wonder what I ought to do with you
You really can't be too severe
when my regret is so sincere
And true
If you were on probation
Could I depend on you
To make you think more kindly
Let me obey you blindly
You mean you'd really do
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command me
You want me good
Then I'll be good
You want me bad
Then I'll be bad
I mean, I could be both
If you demand me
Understand me
What if I demand your head
Perhaps you'd like my arms instead
I've lost my head
the moment I saw you smile
Remember you're on trial
Will you do as I advise
- Madame, you will be surprised
- You mean
Anything to please the queen
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command me
You want me cold
Then I'll be cold
You want me bold
Then I'll be bold
I'll be bold or cold or hot
As you demand me
Understand me
You'll keep watch all day for me
A good night watchman I will be
( Chuckles )
I've learned that duty in Paris
You leave it to me
You'd better wait and see
We shall find how good you are
I've had no complaints so far
- You mean
- Anything to please the queen
Anything to please the queen
Perhaps you didn't quite
follow me, Count.
You're invited for dinner, not for tea.
I followed Your Majesty perfectly.
Hmm. Too perfectly, I'm afraid.
Remember. 8:00.
8:00.
Oh, Count.
Don't forget. No beard.
Oh, no, Your Majesty.
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command
( Bell Tolling )
( Tolling Continues )
(Jacques )
just a minute, monsieur.
In case some lady should telephone,
am I to say you have a date with the queen?
- No lady will telephone.
- But if?
Impossible. There is no telephone.
( Laughs )
Do you know the story
of the Frenchman and the farmer's daughter?
I know it.
I am the Frenchman.
You are not.
How do you know?
I am the farmer's daughter.
Go home.
Are you talking to me
or to the dog?
- Is this your animal?
- Yes.
Then take it away. Don't you see it is eating
out of the same dish as the queen's dog?
Listen here. If my master's good enough
to have dinner with the queen...
then his dog can eat dinner
with the queen's dog.
- So, that's your master.
- Yes.
- That naughty boy from Paris?
- Yes.
Do you know why the queen
has invited him for dinner?
Because the king's away.
There is no king.
- She hasn't got a husband?
- No.
Oh. Now I know why she invited him.
( Whispered Chattering )
But, gentlemen, even if she liked him, would
he be eligible to become the prince consort?
Why, absolutely. His great grandfather
was the illegitimate son of one king...
and his grandmother
the sweetheart of another.
- Oh.
- ( All Murmuring )
I had no idea that he came from
such a distinguished family.
And do you think Her Majesty is serious?
Why, how can you doubt it?
The first time she sees him,
she invites him to dine with her alone.
- And if it goes on at this rate -
- Then we're entitled to the highest hopes.
- ( Chattering )
- Shh! They're coming.
They sit down.
They are seated.
She smiles at him.
He smiles at her.
They both smile...
at each other!
At each other?
( Murmuring )
- She is laughing.
- That's the way they always start.
And how she laughs.
He must have told her the story
of the Frenchman and the farmer-
The lackey is bringing in champagne.
- Now they are clinking glasses.
- ( Murmuring )
- She drinks his health.
- ( Murmuring )
He drinks hers.
He tells her, " This is the most beautiful
moment of my life. "
How do you know that he does?
You can't hear anything.
- What else could he say?
- ( Chattering )
They've opened the window.
What does it mean?
- The queen is warm.
- The champagne.
No. It's him.
She's going to her boudoir.
She opens the door.
( Whispering )
- She enters the boudoir.
- Heavens!
She beckons to him.
He enters.
( Chattering Excitedly )
She closes the door behind them!
Heaven save the queen!
You know, Count...
this is the first time
I've ever dined with a man alone.
And this is the first time
I have ever-
Don't lie.
The first time I ever dined
with a queen.
But with women?
( Chuckles )
Of course.
( Chuckles )
Of course I have dined with women.
These dinners in Paris...
were charming?
Yes.
( Chuckles )
The food in Paris is very, very good.
And the ladies?
Oh -
( Chuckles Nervously, Mumbles )
Well, I feel, by comparison...
it must be very dull...
dining with a queen.
It would be the most delightful
experience of my life...
dining with a queen, if-
- If?
- If one...
could forget -
That I am a queen.
Yes.
Very well. Forget it.
I am no longer
Queen Louise I of Sylvania...
but a woman.
A mere woman.
And you're meeting me
for the first time.
What would you do?
Oh.
( Chuckles )
What would you do?
Hello, Louise.
( Chuckles )
All this the first time you meet?
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, but if it's like this at first...
what can be left for later?
Plenty.
If she appeals to you...
and if you find out that you love her...
oh, there's plenty left...
- if she were like -
- Like?
If she were like -
Loves I have known
are buried in the past
They couldn't last with you
None of them could ever hold me fast
In the way you do
Yet their memories
seem to cling to me
Something from each one
you bring to me
Eyes of Lizette
Smile of Mignonette
The sweetness of Suzette
In you displayed
Grace of Delphine
Charm ofJosephine
The cuteness of Pauline
In you arrayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lips of Lucille
Beauty of Camille
You are my ideal
My love parade
Eyes of Lizette
Smile of Mignonette
The sweetness of Suzette
That's in you, displayed
Delphine
Josephine
Pauline
( Chuckles )
That's in you, arrayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lucille
Camille
You are my ideal
My love parade
Living in the shadow of a throne
I've gone my lonely way
But I have a love
that's all my own
To bestow someday
Still I'm glad to know
you find in me
All the charms you love
Combined in me
- Eyes of
- Lizette
- Smile of
- Mignonette
- The sweetness of
- Suzette
In me arrayed
- Grace of
- Delphine
- Charms of
- Josephine
- The cuteness of
- Pauline
In me displayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lips of Lucille
Beauty of Camille
- I'm your ideal
- You are my ideal
- Your love parade
- My love parade
Go now.
No.
I want you to go.
No.
Please.
Alfred.
Yes.
Louise!
You are my ideal
- My love parade
- Love parade
( Piano: Notes Strike )
( Chattering )
( Louise )
We two can see the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
can find us
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
I will share them
With you
( All )
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
Your romance has found me
( Louise )
I'm held in your spell
Knowing so well
We'll never tell
( All )
We two
Can leave the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
Can find us
( Louise )
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
( All, With Louise )
I will share them
With you
( " Wedding March" )
( Continues )
( Ends )
( Whistling )
- Stop. Stop that whistling.
- ( Stops )
- It's unlucky.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
And don't call me Your Majesty.
I'm not a king.
Oh, but you'll be a sensation.
Everyone will applaud
when you enter the throne room.
( Chuckles )
Nonsense.
I feel sure you'll run away
with the wedding.
Now, how do I look?
I don't like that medal.
( Chuckles )
What's the matter with it?
The man looks cross-eyed.
Cross-eyed?
King Stanislaus XXll cross-eyed?
( Chuckles )
Oh, no. No. That can't be.
That was never taught at school.
Still looks cross-eyed.
( Chuckles )
Maybe - Maybe it's a silly superstition...
but each time I have seen
a cross-eyed man...
I've had bad luck.
To me,
it's even worse than whistling.
( Knocking )
Come in.
Her Majesty is ready.
Just a minute, sir.
It's all right.
- ( Gong Crashes )
- ( Trumpet Fanfare )
( Chorus )
Long live
Her Royal
Majesty
The queen
Long
May she reign
Serene
Proudly
We serve her
Here at her command
Queen
Of our hearts
And Sylvania
Our land
( Light Trumpet Fanfare )
( Organ:Jaunty Tune )
( Ends )
By personal order extraordinary...
Your Majesty has bestowed
upon Count Alfred the title of prince...
and by this merciful act
has uplifted him to a station...
where marriage between you is possible.
Is it still Your Majesty's wish...
to select Prince Alfred
as Your Majesty's husband?
It is.
Is Your Majesty willing to be a loving wife
to the prince consort?
I am.
And will Your Majesty protect him
from all danger?
I will.
And you, Prince Alfred...
you abide
by Her Majesty's selection...
and are happy to accept
the station of prince consort?
Yes.
You promise always
to love Her Majesty?
Yes, I do.
You promise further
to fulfill Her Majesty's every wish...
to execute Her Majesty's
every command...
and to be an obedient
and docile husband?
( Whispered Chattering )
- He hesitates.
- Incredible.
- He hesitates at promising to obey.
- And to be docile.
He should've thought of that before.
Yes, I do.
( Organ, Soft )
I pronounce you wife...
and man.
( Speaking Foreign Language )
What does he say?
He says,
"Man is man, and woman is woman.
And that to change that
causes trouble. "
He does not see how any man
could stand being a wife.
And therefore he hopes
this will be a most unhappy marriage.
For heaven's sake.
If he reports this to Afghanistan -
Tell him this is a love match...
and will be the happiest marriage
in the world.
( Speaking Foreign Language )
No tschungu.
No tschungu.
No tschungu.
( Popping Lips )
Halt. Left face.
( Fanfare )
( Cannon Salute Continues )
Have that firing stopped.
- Your Highness, that is impossible.
- Stopped at once.
I can't. It's etiquette.
Etiquette or no etiquette -
Can't you understand?
- Perfectly, sir.
- Ah.
But I can't help it.
- I command it.
- Very sorry.
I can take orders only from Her Majesty
the queen herself.
So. We shall see.
( Cannons Fire )
Alfred?
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Fire )
Do you hear those cannons?
Yes. Isn't it glorious?
Our bridal music.
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Fire )
How many-
How many more shots will there be?
What?
And each time they fire,
you shall kiss me.
( Cannons Fire )
I wish now I'd ordered 500.
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Firing )
399!
( Cannon Fires )
That was the last.
- Too bad.
- Thank heaven.
I wish we could have a cannon
when we get married.
Let's get married too.
Make it a double wedding.
( Songbird Twittering )
Jacques.
Jacquesy!
- Lulu. You're cross -
- I'm not cross.
I'm thrilled!
Eh, don't get thrilled.
Perhaps we'd better wait with our marriage
and see how they get on first.
But there's no chance
of their marriage going wrong.
Why, it even started wrong.
What does that lady
think she's marrying - a trained poodle?
She is not a lady.
She is a queen.
Well, he's not a king.
He's a gentleman.
But when royalty marry,
they don't quarrel like common people do.
They can't afford to.
That's just the trouble.
They can't let off steam
with a good old row like you or I.
That's true.
But we common people
can take life easy.
We can act natural,
and nobody will care.
We can eat chicken with our fingers.
Look at the names I can call you.
Look at the things I can throw at you.
Oh, it's wonderful being common.
( Both Sigh )
Snuggle near, baby dear
Why so haughty and severe
Let's get together
and cuddle up right here
Bear in mind I'm refined
And I'm not that way inclined
Where's your proper pride
Why be so dignified
Squeeze me once
Squeeze me twice
S'most improper
but, oh, it's nice
Let's be common
And do it again
Hug me do
close to you
S'a beautiful feeling
and thrills me through
Let's be common
and do it again
I'll surely smother
Oh, let me go, sir
This isn't right
Oh, darling Mother
If you could see
your daughter tonight
Grip my neck, grab my hand
S'most improper
but, oh, it's grand
Let's be common
And do it again
S'a lovely moon
S'a lovely night
What's the matter with you
You're so polite
So let's be common
And do it again
You crush me
I'll crush you
S'possible
we'll be black-and-blue
Let's be common
And do it again
Can't you be gentle
You'll bruise me
till I'm ultramarine
Be sentimental
But don't act
like a threshing machine
So let's be rough
You know how
S'no use struggling
Too late now
So let's be common
And do it again
( Bird Twittering )
(Jacques Vocalizing )
Don't do it again!
Ladies and gentlemen...
four weeks ago today,
our illustrious queen was married.
The desire of her subjects
to celebrate this date...
is readily understood.
But in consideration
of the royal honeymoon...
I must ask the public
to refrain just a little longer...
from any serenades,
torchlight processions...
or public demonstrations of any kind
and, in particular...
to patriotically observe quiet
within the limits of the castle...
especially in the early morning hours.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
And don't forget, ladies and gentlemen,
this program comes to you...
by courtesy
of the Sylvania Hardware Corporation...
the company that gives you
two pots for the price of one.
( Orchestra: Anthem )
( Clock Chiming )
( Chiming Stops )
Louise.
Louise.
( Up-tempo March )
( Continues )
( Drums Beating )
( Orchestra )
( Continues )
Grenadiers
Stand at arms, every man
And obey the trumpets' call
( Fanfare )
Give the word
Stand at arms spick-and-span
Let your queen be heard by all
My heart is aflame with your loyalty
For you, we stand or fall
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
( Chorus )
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Heroes who scorn all fear
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
- ( Louise Holding Note )
- ( Chorus ) Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong, marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Left, right, left, right
left, right, left, right
Sing out
( No Audible Dialogue )
Why, you're up, dear?
Yes. I'm surprised myself.
I might as well lie in bed all day.
I have nothing to get up for.
Well, what a charming reception.
I spend all morning reviewing
the household guards, distributing medals...
and now on my way to an audience
with the prime minister...
I steal away to have a look
at my husband, and-and -
He doesn't even
say good morning to me.
Good morning.
Well, that finishes my morning's work.
What can I do now?
I have already shaved.
I had my hair cut yesterday.
There's nothing left.
So, you're bored.
All I'm waiting for now
is to have you tell me I'm neglecting you.
Do you realize that
not once since we've been married...
have I left you alone at night?
And I never will.
Thank you.
It's very kind of you.
And after this foreign loan
is arranged...
I'm going to take you to Vienna...
and buy you
a lot of nice new uniforms.
That's it. You think all you have to do
is to buy me a few new uniforms...
and I'll be satisfied.
That's the opinion
you have of me, is it?
Oh, don't be silly, Alfred.
Oh, I'm sick of being treated
as if I were a sort of plaything.
- You're in a horrible mood today.
- Am I?
( Rhythmic Tapping )
( Coughing )
- You have a cold?
- No.
- ( Coughing )
- Why do you cough?
Listen, Louise. You have the power
to exclude me from all military affairs...
from all cabinet meetings.
But, please,
do not interfere with my coughing.
I cough when I want to.
At last, I've found something to do.
I will repair this today.
Yes. Immediately after-
I almost forgot something
very important.
Alfred, where are you going?
Something very important.
I am going to have breakfast.
Where is my breakfast?
May I remind Your Highness...
that Her Majesty the queen
has not as yet appeared.
- Well. And?
- Well, I'm sure Your Highness knows...
that breakfast cannot be served
before the appearance of Her Majesty.
I want my breakfast.
Your Highness, I am very sorry.
- We must wait.
- I can't wait.
I want my breakfast.
I'm hungry.
Your Highness, I regret it,
but it's impossible to -
Her Majesty will not appear
for breakfast this morning.
Breakfast for His Highness.
Please, Your Highness.
- Do you speak French?
- No, Your Highness.
( No Audible Dialogue )
You're the only one in the palace
who looks up to me.
Just look at me
I think my heart will break
Nobody seems to take me seriously
Honestly
I'm just as lonely
as a man can be
The days mean nothing at all
And when the shadows fall
The moon is only
wasting time on me
Candidly
There must be something
awful wrong
With me
I have a pair of hands
To hug and hold
But nobody's using them now
I've loads of love
That could be told
But nobody's using them now
I've a world of time
That's all my own
They say that you go silly
if you spend it alone
I'm telling the truth
I'm just wasting my youth
'Cause nobody's using it now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using it now
There's a bridal suite
In gold and blue
But nobody's using it now
I've learned to wear pajamas too
What's the use
of wearing them now
I've sown wild oats
I have indeed
But now that I've stopped sowing them
I'm going to seed
For years and for years
I've had great ideas
But nobody's using them now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using them now
I have a big settee
with patent springs
I've some pleasing ways and -
( Chuckles ) other things
I'm a family man
who's out of sorts
I'm just a loving papa
to a great lot of thoughts
I blush to admit
I've still plenty of" it"
But nobody's using it now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using it now
Zum, zum
( People Chattering )
( Woman )
... try to see the prince.
Isn't there standing room?
Oh, but I must see the prince.
( Chattering Continues )
Oh? Oh.
Oh, is that so?
Mm-hmm. All right.
The moment it was announced
that Your Majesty...
would attend the opening
of the opera in person...
the place was completely sold out.
( Ministers Chattering )
- Your Majesty is still the biggest drawing card in the country.
- ( Minister) Yes, indeed, Your Majesty.
Have the spotlights been focused
on the entrance to the opera house?
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
Twelve motion picture cameras
will photograph the arrival...
of Your Majesty and the prince consort.
The crowd will cheer
and press forward with such enthusiasm...
that it can be kept in check only
by the most heroic efforts of the police.
And has all this been well rehearsed?
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
The crowd is the same one
that we used at Your Majesty's wedding.
They all know their parts perfectly.
Good. Go on.
When Your Majesty and the prince consort
appear in the royal box...
the whole audience will rise.
For two minutes,
we will have silent homage.
Your Majesty and the prince consort will
reward your loyal subjects with happy smiles.
You are both in the best of humor.
- In the best of humor?
- Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
And does the prince consort know
he's to be in the best of humor?
Well - ( Coughs )
Your Majesty, I-I -
- Well, you'd better tell him, to be safe.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Your Majesty frightens us.
Tonight is your first opportunity of showing
your matrimonial happiness to the public.
- And if the prince consort does not
smile in joy- - It will mean disaster.
The diplomatic representatives of the whole
world will be guests in the royal box.
And unfortunately,
the Afghan ambassador too.
And if he sees any coolness between you,
he'll report it to Afghanistan.
Well, let him.
But surely Your Majesty knows that
if Afghanistan hears anything...
Baluchistan hears it too.
And if Baluchistan hears it,
then all Persia will know it.
And what is talked of in Persia
spreads all over Turkey.
And when anything is known in Turkey,
the Armenians get onto it immediately.
And you know how many Armenians
go to America.
So if Wall Street hears of a rift
in the matrimonial happiness of Your Majesty...
it will stop all credits
and we do not get the loan.
- And without that loan, we are broke.
- ( Ministers ) Broke!
( Door Slams )
So, unless I have a smile on my face
tonight, we are broke.
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Highness.
- And you call yourselves statesmen.
Borrowing money
is all that you're able to do.
Prince Alfred,
what are you permitting yourself?
I permit myself
to make the following suggestion.
We do not need a loan.
We have enough natural resources.
There is my plan
for the national budget.
( Whispered Chattering )
I have worked out everything -
in my sleepless days.
The country can be saved
without a loan.
Go on.
Read it.
It includes everything.
Even your dressmakers' bills.
I am not permitted to receive suggestions
in the affairs of state...
from the prince consort.
Not even when they are good?
Not even then.
- Do you speak French?
- Yes, Your Highness.
Too bad.
Prince Alfred, I must ask you
once and for all...
not to interfere in affairs of state.
I know.
I'm Your Majesty's husband
and nothing else.
Prince Alfred,
you may leave the room.
Stay, gentlemen.
Prince Alfred,
you will meet me here at 7:00...
in full gala uniform -
all medals and decorations -
and in the very best of humor.
And in case I don't feel like complying
with Your Majesty's wish?
This is not my wish.
It is my command.
If Your Majesty had not already
commanded me to smile...
I would laugh.
( Alfred Laughing )
( Laughing Continues )
( Chattering )
When they went riding yesterday
they never spoke a word
- You don't say
- Is it true
- Think of that
- Who's to blame
And he asked for garlic
in his soup at dinner, so I heard
- Something's wrong
- Did you hear
- Are you sure
- What a shame
I know the queen regrets it
but of course the man's to blame
- Good for you
- Not at all
- I'm for that
- Let it go
Well, here I am, still single
May my children stay the same
Drink to that
Here's to you
- Poor old prince
- Is that so
Don't you dare to say a word
against the queen
The queen is always right
The queen is just a woman
and she's just as mean
Say that again, we'll fight
- Don't forget she has a husband
- Don't forget she is the boss
And Her Majesty
can run him out of town
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
( Simultaneously ) - The prince
is right - The queen is right
- That's enough from you
- Sit down
Don't you dare to say a word
against the queen
The queen is always right
The queen is just a woman
and she's just as mean
Say that again, we'll fight
- Don't forget she's got a husband
- Don't forget she is the boss
And Her Majesty
can run him out of town
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
That's enough from you
Sit down
You can tell him
my patience is exhausted.
If he won't come here voluntarily,
I'll have him brought here...
even if I have to send soldiers.
Yes, Your Majesty.
- ( Audience Chattering )
- ( Instruments Tuning )
( Doorknob Turns )
( Master Of Ceremonies )
His Highness, the prince consort.
( Door Closes )
Why are you dressed like this?
What does it mean?
It means I'm dressed for traveling.
I'm going to Paris.
You go change at once.
You're going to the opera with me.
Only with soldiers and handcuffed.
Alfred, you know very well
how much depends on this -
my name, my position,
my reputation as queen.
If you fail me tonight,
all will be over between us.
It is already over-
and forever.
- Alfred.
- You have gone too far, madame.
You thought you could order the former
military attach around and command the husband.
But you forgot one thing, madame -
that first, I am a man.
- I know that, Alfred.
- No, you do not.
But I'm going to prove it to you.
Good-bye, madame.
- You mean you're really going?
- Yes.
Oh, but, Alfred,
won't you love me anymore?
Only with soldiers and handcuffed.
( Louise )
Alfred!
Alfred!
( Crying )
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
Your romance has found me
I'm held in your spell
( Crying )
Knowing so well
Dreams never tell -
( Sobbing )
- ( Trumpets )
- ( Soldier Chorus ) Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong, marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Left, right, left, right
left, right, left, right
Sing out
( Audience Chattering, Laughing )
( Audience Resumes Chattering )
( Chattering Stops )
( Applause Continues )
( Romantic )
As for myself,
you needn't have come at all.
All right, good-bye.
Stay here.
Beg me to stay.
I ask you to stay.
Don't ask me. Beg me.
I beg you to stay.
Not commanding.
Begging.
Begging.
I beg you to stay.
Since you beg me so lovingly...
I'll be generous.
I'll stay.
You want to humiliate me.
That's why you came here.
No. I came because -
Why?
Because, after all...
I didn't want to ruin the woman
I once loved.
But tomorrow, I'm leaving for Paris.
And as soon as this loan of yours
is signed...
I will file papers for divorce.
If you don't treat me nicely,
I'll go right home.
All right. Go on.
Still here?
( Intensifies )
If you don't take those glasses from your eyes,
I'll tear them away.
Go on.
( Chuckles )
You can't do it, eh?
You're a queen.
You must behave.
If you were just a mere woman,
you could make a scandal.
But you can't.
That's what you get
for being a queen.
- ( Speaking Foreign Language )
- Huh?
( Foreign Language )
Ah, yes. Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh!
He'll never get these glasses back.
- ( Ends )
- ( Applause )
Applaud.
Smile.
Oh! We are in the very best
of humor, eh?
( Chuckles )
( Louise Sobbing )
( Alfred Humming Jauntily )
I blush to admit
I've still plenty of"it"
But somebody will use it now
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Somebody will use it now
She is in her room,
and he is in his.
Yes. Sad, isn't it?
When we get married,
let's be common...
and only have one room between us.
Why even one room between us?
( Crying )
( Line Clicking )
( Crying Continues )
( Sobbing )
( Sniffling )
( Alfred Humming )
( Humming Stops )
Who is it?
Louise.
What do you want?
A mouse is in my room.
Call your soldiers.
( Humming Resumes )
What are you doing?
Packing.
- Can I help you?
- No, thanks.
- ( Humming Louder )
- ( Whimpering )
( Sobbing )
( Humming Continues )
( Sobbing Louder)
( Humming Stops )
( Key Turns In Lock )
( Humming )
( Whistling )
( Whistling Stops )
( Door Opens )
Please.
( Doorknob Jiggles )
The key, please.
So, you're trying to use force
again, madame?
( Key Turns In Lock )
Where shall we live in Paris?
- We?
- Yes.
I'm going with you.
Wherever you go,
I'll follow you.
( Whimpers )
You can't get rid of me.
Well, there is no use
for me to leave then.
No. No use at all.
I suppose I might as well stay here.
I suppose so too.
But how am I going to punish you?
- And you must be punished.
- Yes.
- And severely.
- Yes.
But how?
Let me see.
An awful punishment.
Let me see.
It's really not so easy.
( Louise )
May I- May I make a suggestion?
Yes.
Sit down.
If I were in your place, I'd say:
" Louise, I don't want a divorce.
- I love you too much for that. "
- No, no, no, no, no.
But I'd say: " Louise...
"you can't order me around
any longer.
" From now on,
I shall take command -
" not only of the affairs of state...
" not only in the Department of the Navy...
but also here at home. "
And my first command would be...
" Louise, don't dare
to leave this room.
" You shall stay here...
" at my side...
attached to me
from morning till, uh" -
" from night till morning. "
And you call that a punishment?
Yes...
my king.
- Eyes of
- Lizette
- Smile of
- Mignonette
- The sweetness of
- Suzette
- In me arrayed
- In you arrayed
( Songbird Twittering )
( Exit Music )
( Continues )
( Continues )
( Ends )
Ooh, I I I I
To hold the fish here
Ooh, I I I I
The serviettes here
and now the cigarettes here
And matches too
They mustn't complain
A little candy
Ooh, I I I I
A little brandy
Ooh, I I I I
A bunch of roses
to show the way we entertain
And a little bottle of champagne
( Man Speaking French )
( Woman Speaking French )
( Man Speaking French )
- ( Woman Speaking French )
- ( French )
She's terribly jealous.
Oh!
Voil!
- ( Chuckles, Speaks French )
- ( French )
- Mon mari!
- Her husband!
Oh.
Paulette!
Paulette! Ma Paulette!
( Gunshot )
Paulette!
( French )
( Paulette Sighing, Moaning )
( French )
( French )
( French )
S'il vous plat.
Voil.
( French )
( Chattering )
Count Renard,
this scandal will be your last.
At any rate, your last in Paris.
As the ambassador of Sylvania...
I cannot any longer permit
our military attach...
to disgrace the name of our illustrious
country with his shameless escapades.
Your Excellency, please -
But that is an end.
You will leave at once for Sylvania and report
to Her Majesty the queen in person.
But, Your Excellency, I'm sure the stories
you've heard about me are horribly-
are horribly exaggerated.
Count Renard...
for one week, I made it my business
to follow you about personally.
Oh. I'm sorry I didn't know it,
Your Excellency.
I would have taken you
to some real places.
How dare you.
I know more about you
than you think.
My wife has told me everything.
You are to take the first train.
I think I had better take
the first airplane.
You are going by plane, monsieur?
Yes,Jacques.
And I've got to leave you.
You're not going to take me with you?
- I'm sorry.
- But what will you do without me?
Think how good I am
at making up excuses for you.
Why, I can even imitate your voice
on the telephone...
and pretend you're at home
to one lady...
when you're really having supper
with another.
Yes,Jacques.
You're a very good servant.
And you can tell lies
better than anybody I know.
But I won't need you anymore.
In fact, I will probably be sent
to a military prison.
But even so, you'll need me, monsieur.
Supposing someone you don't
want to see calls at the prison.
Who's going to tell them
you're not at home?
I can't see how anybody could be so anxious
to leave this beautiful Paris.
But, monsieur, I am a Frenchman.
And to be a Frenchman in Paris is nothing...
because everyone in Paris
is a Frenchman.
- That's true.
- But to be a Frenchman in -
- What is the name of your country?
- Sylvania.
That is different.
Why, even my stories will be new there.
I can actually tell them the one about
the Frenchman and the farmer's daughter.
Oh, please, monsieur,
take me to Pennsylvania.
- Sylvania.
- Take me to Sylvania.
All right,Jacques. I'll take you there.
Go and pack the bags.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, monsieur.
I am so happy.
( Barks )
I am not.
You'll never miss me when I'm gone
Paris
But I know that I'll miss you
You took a lot of pains
in teaching me
Why must we say adieu
I've seen your mild days
And some of your wild days
Down where the Seine flows
And where the champagne flows
You taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your judgment was
good enough for me
With you each night meant
the thrill of excitement
Montmartre and ladies
That love to raise Hades
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, Paris
please stay the same
I've seen your blonde girls
With beautiful blonde curls
Sweet Paris daughters
In all of your quarters
They taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your ladies
were good enough for me
I've met brunettes here
And little grisettes here
I've lost my station
and my reputation
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, ladies, please stay the same
I'm like my master
Now I'm leaving you
He's sad
So am I, Paris
I try to follow
in his footsteps too
A few may remember me
I've seen your mild maids
I've see your wild maids
Both shy and sporty
Tried all under 40
They taught me
all that a kiss could be
Paris, your servants
were good enough for me
( Barking Tune )
( Barking Continues )
If I've been happy
then you're to blame
Oh, Paris
please, stay the same
Ladies and gentlemen, on your right
you see the Royal Opera House.
And on my left, the residence of
Her Majesty, Queen Louise I of Sylvania.
The construction of the castle
was begun under Maximilian I in 1537...
and finished in 1687
under Maximilian VIII.
The castle contains one of the most
beautiful picture galleries in the world...
and its collection of art treasures
is unsurpassed.
The castle represents
a value of $110 million.
- ( All Murmuring )
- ( Man ) $110 million?
- ( Chattering )
- 110!
- ( Man Shouting Orders )
- ( Drums Beating )
Company...
- halt!
- ( Drums Stop )
You call that a goose step?
Why, that isn't a chicken step!
- You blackguards!
- ( Man ) Lieutenant!
Don't you realize Her Majesty
is still asleep?
Quiet here! Take them away.
- Yes, sir.
- Shh!
( Whispers )
Yes, sir.
( Whispering )
Company...
left... face!
Forward- on tiptoes- march!
( Clock Chiming )
( Chiming Stops )
( Buzzing )
( Engine Droning )
Good morning, Your Majesty.
( Women )
Good morning, Your Majesty.
I'm so hopeful Your Majesty rested well.
Why am I always awakened from my dreams?
I'm sure it was a nice dream,
Your Majesty.
Oh, it was wonderful.
It was gorgeous.
Mmm. Oh.
Mmm.
I hope Your Majesty's dream comes true.
No.
I'm afraid it will always
have to remain...
a dream.
There's a land of charm that I know
Land of sweet romance
where I love to go
And its bounds touch my room
In the gloom
where the shadows creep
Someone I meet there waits for me
Someone tender
as a lover should be
And I whisper each night
As I close my eyes
In sleep
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
your romance has found me
I'm held
In your spell
Knowing so well
Dreams never tell
We two
can leave the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
can find us
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
I will share them
With you
Dream lover
fold your arms around me
Dream lover
your romance has found me
Oh, my darling
I am just longing for a love of my own
- Nobody indiscreet can find us
- Nobody indiscreet can find us, I know
Dream lover
-
- Secrets divine
-
- I will share them
With you
Please, Your Majesty.
Won't you tell us more about your dream?
I'm afraid I can't.
It wasn't just exactly
the sort of dream for a queen.
Was it the sort of dream
for a lady-in-waiting?
I hope not.
I had a lovely dream myself-
about Your Majesty.
I dreamed that Your Majesty
got married.
And you call that a lovely dream?
Why not, Your Majesty?
We all wish, we all hope, we all pray...
- that very soon Your Majesty will be -
- Married.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- Marriage. Marriage.
In all my country,
nothing else is ever spoken of.
What do the children learn at school?
" The queen is unmarried still. "
What do the papers write about?
"Is the queen to marry?"
What does my Parliament debate?
"When shall the queen marry?"
And from my ministers:
"Whom shall the queen marry?"
Marriage. Marriage.
That's all I hear, morning or night.
( " Wedding March" )
Didn't I tell that conductor
never to play the " Wedding March" again?
But, Your Majesty,
it is not the same conductor.
- This is a new one.
- Where's the old one?
He is being married today.
Oh.
Oh.
Phew!
( Continues )
- ( Ends )
- ( Trumpet Fanfare )
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Your Majesty.
Well?
Whom can you suggest today?
For what, Your Majesty?
For my husband.
Now don't tell me
you weren't talking about it.
You're always talking about it.
We have no one to suggest,
Your Majesty.
We have given the matter up.
- Really?
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Majesty.
Oh, what a relief.
( Chuckles )
Oh, how glad I am.
( Chuckles )
And, uh...
why have you given the matter up,
may I ask?
- Well, uh -
- ( All Clearing Throats )
- You see, it's rather difficult.
- ( Ministers ) Very difficult.
Difficult?
You tell me it's difficult
to find a husband for me?
( Ministers )
Yes, Your Majesty.
Excuse me, Baron.
How does Her Majesty feel today?
( Louise ) And that's final, Admiral.
I certainly don't need any help from the navy.
Yes, Your Majesty.
But surely Your Majesty must realize
that the field for selection is limited.
If marrying you
were to make a man a king...
that would be different.
But Your Majesty's husband
would be simply prince consort.
After all, what is a prince consort?
He is a gentleman with a thousand duties
and no rights.
- He has nothing to say, nothing to do.
- Well, I wouldn't say that.
( Whispering )
Of course,
he has something to do, naturally.
And yet, uh, he has nothing to do,
if you see what I mean.
I see.
He is Your Majesty's husband
and nothing else.
Nothing else?
- But isn't it enough to be my husband?
- But, Your Majesty-
It never seems to occur to you gentlemen
that there might possibly be some men...
who would enjoy being my husband
even if I were not a queen.
My face isn't actually painful to look at.
My complexion's quite good.
And in case you're too serious-minded
to notice such things...
let me inform you...
my legs are perfect.
There's only one other leg like that
in the whole of Sylvania.
And that's it.
Do you see?
Thank you.
I didn't see, Your Majesty.
( Whispering )
How do you think I should behave?
Should I be humble, proud, apologetic?
Say as little as possible.
I don't think your French accent
will please Her Majesty.
( Strong French Accent )
Is it still very notice-able?
No. It's very noticeable.
( French Pronunciation )
Oh. But that's terrible.
No. It's terrible.
How did you acquire this accent?
( Chuckles )
I'll tell you.
Once, in Paris,
I had an awful cold.
I went to see a great French doctor
to cure it.
I rang the bell.
The door was opened by a lady.
- Mm-hmm.
- A beautiful lady.
Mm-hmm.
The doctor's wife.
( No Audible Dialogue )
And in less than a month...
I had lost my cold...
but I had a terrific French accent.
( Louise ) And if I'm talked to like this again,
I'll dissolve the cabinet.
- ( Minister ) Yes, Your Majesty.
- I'll dismiss the whole general staff.
- ( Minister #2 ) Yes, Your Majesty.
- And if that band...
plays the "Wedding March"once more...
- I'll give orders to shoot!
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Majesty.
I'm sorry, Count.
You're next.
- What do you want?
- Count Alfred Renard...
Your Majesty's military attach
at Your Majesty's embassy in Paris.
Ordered home for an audience
with Your Majesty.
- You'll have to wait.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- What do you want?
- Count Alfred Renard...
Your Majesty's military attach
at Your Majesty's embassy in Paris.
Ordered home for an audience
with Your Majesty.
- Didn't I tell you to wait?
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- Then wait.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Count.
Count Alfred, I understand
you've been seriously involved...
in a disgraceful affair with a woman.
No, Your Majesty.
With several.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Yes, Your Majesty.
( Both Chuckling )
I don't think it's funny.
I think it's serious.
Very serious.
- And I shall have to punish you.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- I shall have to punish you very severely.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Otherwise you'd start all over again.
( Chuckles )
Yes!
I shall think of a punishment
that will cure you forever.
An awful punishment.
Let me see.
An awful punishment.
You shall be ordered...
to grow a beard.
- A beard, Your Majesty?
- Yes.
That will stop all your philandering.
You'll have to be serious in a beard.
And am I to be permitted to attend
Your Majesty after the beard is grown?
Certainly. I shall want to see
that my instructions have been obeyed.
Then I fear Your Majesty
will regret the order.
I look terrible in a beard.
- Really?
- Oh, dreadful.
( Chuckles ) Of course, there are men
who look fine in beards, like sheiks.
- Well, yes. That's what I thought.
- But I don't.
- No?
- Oh!
Oh, I grew one once to see.
Ah, it came out all red and scraggly.
Oh, no. No, I assure Your Majesty...
it would be the most
awful-looking beard in Sylvania.
And - ( Chuckles )
that's saying a great deal.
- Well, then don't grow it.
- No, Your Majesty.
- Don't do it.
- No, no, Your Majesty.
- No beard.
- No, no, Your Majesty.
- You promise me.
- My word of honor.
But what can I do with you?
I've got to punish you.
May I make a suggestion?
You want to suggest
a punishment for yourself?
Yes.
Of course.
Please.
Well, tell me.
If I were in Your Majesty's place...
I would say this:
" Count Alfred...
" the sort of life you've been leading
must stop.
You shall not return to Paris. "
Very good.
Then I would say:
- " Alfred" -
- Hmm?
" Count Alfred, you shall stay here...
" in the palace...
" attached to me.
And from morning till night,
never dare to leave my side. "
And you call that a punishment?
- ( Chuckles )
- You're the most impudent man I've ever met.
You seem to forget
you're talking to your queen.
( Rings )
Count Alfred will dine with me tonight.
At 8:00?
Yes, Your Majesty.
- White uniform.
- ( Chuckles )
Yes, Your Majesty.
You understand?
Oh, yes, I understand.
With such a bad report of you
I wonder what I ought to do with you
You really can't be too severe
when my regret is so sincere
And true
If you were on probation
Could I depend on you
To make you think more kindly
Let me obey you blindly
You mean you'd really do
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command me
You want me good
Then I'll be good
You want me bad
Then I'll be bad
I mean, I could be both
If you demand me
Understand me
What if I demand your head
Perhaps you'd like my arms instead
I've lost my head
the moment I saw you smile
Remember you're on trial
Will you do as I advise
- Madame, you will be surprised
- You mean
Anything to please the queen
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command me
You want me cold
Then I'll be cold
You want me bold
Then I'll be bold
I'll be bold or cold or hot
As you demand me
Understand me
You'll keep watch all day for me
A good night watchman I will be
( Chuckles )
I've learned that duty in Paris
You leave it to me
You'd better wait and see
We shall find how good you are
I've had no complaints so far
- You mean
- Anything to please the queen
Anything to please the queen
Perhaps you didn't quite
follow me, Count.
You're invited for dinner, not for tea.
I followed Your Majesty perfectly.
Hmm. Too perfectly, I'm afraid.
Remember. 8:00.
8:00.
Oh, Count.
Don't forget. No beard.
Oh, no, Your Majesty.
Anything to please the queen
Everything to please the queen
Morning, noon and night
I'm yours to command
( Bell Tolling )
( Tolling Continues )
(Jacques )
just a minute, monsieur.
In case some lady should telephone,
am I to say you have a date with the queen?
- No lady will telephone.
- But if?
Impossible. There is no telephone.
( Laughs )
Do you know the story
of the Frenchman and the farmer's daughter?
I know it.
I am the Frenchman.
You are not.
How do you know?
I am the farmer's daughter.
Go home.
Are you talking to me
or to the dog?
- Is this your animal?
- Yes.
Then take it away. Don't you see it is eating
out of the same dish as the queen's dog?
Listen here. If my master's good enough
to have dinner with the queen...
then his dog can eat dinner
with the queen's dog.
- So, that's your master.
- Yes.
- That naughty boy from Paris?
- Yes.
Do you know why the queen
has invited him for dinner?
Because the king's away.
There is no king.
- She hasn't got a husband?
- No.
Oh. Now I know why she invited him.
( Whispered Chattering )
But, gentlemen, even if she liked him, would
he be eligible to become the prince consort?
Why, absolutely. His great grandfather
was the illegitimate son of one king...
and his grandmother
the sweetheart of another.
- Oh.
- ( All Murmuring )
I had no idea that he came from
such a distinguished family.
And do you think Her Majesty is serious?
Why, how can you doubt it?
The first time she sees him,
she invites him to dine with her alone.
- And if it goes on at this rate -
- Then we're entitled to the highest hopes.
- ( Chattering )
- Shh! They're coming.
They sit down.
They are seated.
She smiles at him.
He smiles at her.
They both smile...
at each other!
At each other?
( Murmuring )
- She is laughing.
- That's the way they always start.
And how she laughs.
He must have told her the story
of the Frenchman and the farmer-
The lackey is bringing in champagne.
- Now they are clinking glasses.
- ( Murmuring )
- She drinks his health.
- ( Murmuring )
He drinks hers.
He tells her, " This is the most beautiful
moment of my life. "
How do you know that he does?
You can't hear anything.
- What else could he say?
- ( Chattering )
They've opened the window.
What does it mean?
- The queen is warm.
- The champagne.
No. It's him.
She's going to her boudoir.
She opens the door.
( Whispering )
- She enters the boudoir.
- Heavens!
She beckons to him.
He enters.
( Chattering Excitedly )
She closes the door behind them!
Heaven save the queen!
You know, Count...
this is the first time
I've ever dined with a man alone.
And this is the first time
I have ever-
Don't lie.
The first time I ever dined
with a queen.
But with women?
( Chuckles )
Of course.
( Chuckles )
Of course I have dined with women.
These dinners in Paris...
were charming?
Yes.
( Chuckles )
The food in Paris is very, very good.
And the ladies?
Oh -
( Chuckles Nervously, Mumbles )
Well, I feel, by comparison...
it must be very dull...
dining with a queen.
It would be the most delightful
experience of my life...
dining with a queen, if-
- If?
- If one...
could forget -
That I am a queen.
Yes.
Very well. Forget it.
I am no longer
Queen Louise I of Sylvania...
but a woman.
A mere woman.
And you're meeting me
for the first time.
What would you do?
Oh.
( Chuckles )
What would you do?
Hello, Louise.
( Chuckles )
All this the first time you meet?
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, but if it's like this at first...
what can be left for later?
Plenty.
If she appeals to you...
and if you find out that you love her...
oh, there's plenty left...
- if she were like -
- Like?
If she were like -
Loves I have known
are buried in the past
They couldn't last with you
None of them could ever hold me fast
In the way you do
Yet their memories
seem to cling to me
Something from each one
you bring to me
Eyes of Lizette
Smile of Mignonette
The sweetness of Suzette
In you displayed
Grace of Delphine
Charm ofJosephine
The cuteness of Pauline
In you arrayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lips of Lucille
Beauty of Camille
You are my ideal
My love parade
Eyes of Lizette
Smile of Mignonette
The sweetness of Suzette
That's in you, displayed
Delphine
Josephine
Pauline
( Chuckles )
That's in you, arrayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lucille
Camille
You are my ideal
My love parade
Living in the shadow of a throne
I've gone my lonely way
But I have a love
that's all my own
To bestow someday
Still I'm glad to know
you find in me
All the charms you love
Combined in me
- Eyes of
- Lizette
- Smile of
- Mignonette
- The sweetness of
- Suzette
In me arrayed
- Grace of
- Delphine
- Charms of
- Josephine
- The cuteness of
- Pauline
In me displayed
Those other charms
With yours need not be told
No other arms
but yours could ever hold me
Lips of Lucille
Beauty of Camille
- I'm your ideal
- You are my ideal
- Your love parade
- My love parade
Go now.
No.
I want you to go.
No.
Please.
Alfred.
Yes.
Louise!
You are my ideal
- My love parade
- Love parade
( Piano: Notes Strike )
( Chattering )
( Louise )
We two can see the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
can find us
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
I will share them
With you
( All )
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
Your romance has found me
( Louise )
I'm held in your spell
Knowing so well
We'll never tell
( All )
We two
Can leave the world behind us
Nobody indiscreet
Can find us
( Louise )
Oh, dream lover mine
Secrets divine
( All, With Louise )
I will share them
With you
( " Wedding March" )
( Continues )
( Ends )
( Whistling )
- Stop. Stop that whistling.
- ( Stops )
- It's unlucky.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
And don't call me Your Majesty.
I'm not a king.
Oh, but you'll be a sensation.
Everyone will applaud
when you enter the throne room.
( Chuckles )
Nonsense.
I feel sure you'll run away
with the wedding.
Now, how do I look?
I don't like that medal.
( Chuckles )
What's the matter with it?
The man looks cross-eyed.
Cross-eyed?
King Stanislaus XXll cross-eyed?
( Chuckles )
Oh, no. No. That can't be.
That was never taught at school.
Still looks cross-eyed.
( Chuckles )
Maybe - Maybe it's a silly superstition...
but each time I have seen
a cross-eyed man...
I've had bad luck.
To me,
it's even worse than whistling.
( Knocking )
Come in.
Her Majesty is ready.
Just a minute, sir.
It's all right.
- ( Gong Crashes )
- ( Trumpet Fanfare )
( Chorus )
Long live
Her Royal
Majesty
The queen
Long
May she reign
Serene
Proudly
We serve her
Here at her command
Queen
Of our hearts
And Sylvania
Our land
( Light Trumpet Fanfare )
( Organ:Jaunty Tune )
( Ends )
By personal order extraordinary...
Your Majesty has bestowed
upon Count Alfred the title of prince...
and by this merciful act
has uplifted him to a station...
where marriage between you is possible.
Is it still Your Majesty's wish...
to select Prince Alfred
as Your Majesty's husband?
It is.
Is Your Majesty willing to be a loving wife
to the prince consort?
I am.
And will Your Majesty protect him
from all danger?
I will.
And you, Prince Alfred...
you abide
by Her Majesty's selection...
and are happy to accept
the station of prince consort?
Yes.
You promise always
to love Her Majesty?
Yes, I do.
You promise further
to fulfill Her Majesty's every wish...
to execute Her Majesty's
every command...
and to be an obedient
and docile husband?
( Whispered Chattering )
- He hesitates.
- Incredible.
- He hesitates at promising to obey.
- And to be docile.
He should've thought of that before.
Yes, I do.
( Organ, Soft )
I pronounce you wife...
and man.
( Speaking Foreign Language )
What does he say?
He says,
"Man is man, and woman is woman.
And that to change that
causes trouble. "
He does not see how any man
could stand being a wife.
And therefore he hopes
this will be a most unhappy marriage.
For heaven's sake.
If he reports this to Afghanistan -
Tell him this is a love match...
and will be the happiest marriage
in the world.
( Speaking Foreign Language )
No tschungu.
No tschungu.
No tschungu.
( Popping Lips )
Halt. Left face.
( Fanfare )
( Cannon Salute Continues )
Have that firing stopped.
- Your Highness, that is impossible.
- Stopped at once.
I can't. It's etiquette.
Etiquette or no etiquette -
Can't you understand?
- Perfectly, sir.
- Ah.
But I can't help it.
- I command it.
- Very sorry.
I can take orders only from Her Majesty
the queen herself.
So. We shall see.
( Cannons Fire )
Alfred?
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Fire )
Do you hear those cannons?
Yes. Isn't it glorious?
Our bridal music.
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Fire )
How many-
How many more shots will there be?
What?
And each time they fire,
you shall kiss me.
( Cannons Fire )
I wish now I'd ordered 500.
( Cannons Fire )
( Cannons Firing )
399!
( Cannon Fires )
That was the last.
- Too bad.
- Thank heaven.
I wish we could have a cannon
when we get married.
Let's get married too.
Make it a double wedding.
( Songbird Twittering )
Jacques.
Jacquesy!
- Lulu. You're cross -
- I'm not cross.
I'm thrilled!
Eh, don't get thrilled.
Perhaps we'd better wait with our marriage
and see how they get on first.
But there's no chance
of their marriage going wrong.
Why, it even started wrong.
What does that lady
think she's marrying - a trained poodle?
She is not a lady.
She is a queen.
Well, he's not a king.
He's a gentleman.
But when royalty marry,
they don't quarrel like common people do.
They can't afford to.
That's just the trouble.
They can't let off steam
with a good old row like you or I.
That's true.
But we common people
can take life easy.
We can act natural,
and nobody will care.
We can eat chicken with our fingers.
Look at the names I can call you.
Look at the things I can throw at you.
Oh, it's wonderful being common.
( Both Sigh )
Snuggle near, baby dear
Why so haughty and severe
Let's get together
and cuddle up right here
Bear in mind I'm refined
And I'm not that way inclined
Where's your proper pride
Why be so dignified
Squeeze me once
Squeeze me twice
S'most improper
but, oh, it's nice
Let's be common
And do it again
Hug me do
close to you
S'a beautiful feeling
and thrills me through
Let's be common
and do it again
I'll surely smother
Oh, let me go, sir
This isn't right
Oh, darling Mother
If you could see
your daughter tonight
Grip my neck, grab my hand
S'most improper
but, oh, it's grand
Let's be common
And do it again
S'a lovely moon
S'a lovely night
What's the matter with you
You're so polite
So let's be common
And do it again
You crush me
I'll crush you
S'possible
we'll be black-and-blue
Let's be common
And do it again
Can't you be gentle
You'll bruise me
till I'm ultramarine
Be sentimental
But don't act
like a threshing machine
So let's be rough
You know how
S'no use struggling
Too late now
So let's be common
And do it again
( Bird Twittering )
(Jacques Vocalizing )
Don't do it again!
Ladies and gentlemen...
four weeks ago today,
our illustrious queen was married.
The desire of her subjects
to celebrate this date...
is readily understood.
But in consideration
of the royal honeymoon...
I must ask the public
to refrain just a little longer...
from any serenades,
torchlight processions...
or public demonstrations of any kind
and, in particular...
to patriotically observe quiet
within the limits of the castle...
especially in the early morning hours.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
And don't forget, ladies and gentlemen,
this program comes to you...
by courtesy
of the Sylvania Hardware Corporation...
the company that gives you
two pots for the price of one.
( Orchestra: Anthem )
( Clock Chiming )
( Chiming Stops )
Louise.
Louise.
( Up-tempo March )
( Continues )
( Drums Beating )
( Orchestra )
( Continues )
Grenadiers
Stand at arms, every man
And obey the trumpets' call
( Fanfare )
Give the word
Stand at arms spick-and-span
Let your queen be heard by all
My heart is aflame with your loyalty
For you, we stand or fall
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
( Chorus )
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Heroes who scorn all fear
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
- ( Louise Holding Note )
- ( Chorus ) Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong, marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Left, right, left, right
left, right, left, right
Sing out
( No Audible Dialogue )
Why, you're up, dear?
Yes. I'm surprised myself.
I might as well lie in bed all day.
I have nothing to get up for.
Well, what a charming reception.
I spend all morning reviewing
the household guards, distributing medals...
and now on my way to an audience
with the prime minister...
I steal away to have a look
at my husband, and-and -
He doesn't even
say good morning to me.
Good morning.
Well, that finishes my morning's work.
What can I do now?
I have already shaved.
I had my hair cut yesterday.
There's nothing left.
So, you're bored.
All I'm waiting for now
is to have you tell me I'm neglecting you.
Do you realize that
not once since we've been married...
have I left you alone at night?
And I never will.
Thank you.
It's very kind of you.
And after this foreign loan
is arranged...
I'm going to take you to Vienna...
and buy you
a lot of nice new uniforms.
That's it. You think all you have to do
is to buy me a few new uniforms...
and I'll be satisfied.
That's the opinion
you have of me, is it?
Oh, don't be silly, Alfred.
Oh, I'm sick of being treated
as if I were a sort of plaything.
- You're in a horrible mood today.
- Am I?
( Rhythmic Tapping )
( Coughing )
- You have a cold?
- No.
- ( Coughing )
- Why do you cough?
Listen, Louise. You have the power
to exclude me from all military affairs...
from all cabinet meetings.
But, please,
do not interfere with my coughing.
I cough when I want to.
At last, I've found something to do.
I will repair this today.
Yes. Immediately after-
I almost forgot something
very important.
Alfred, where are you going?
Something very important.
I am going to have breakfast.
Where is my breakfast?
May I remind Your Highness...
that Her Majesty the queen
has not as yet appeared.
- Well. And?
- Well, I'm sure Your Highness knows...
that breakfast cannot be served
before the appearance of Her Majesty.
I want my breakfast.
Your Highness, I am very sorry.
- We must wait.
- I can't wait.
I want my breakfast.
I'm hungry.
Your Highness, I regret it,
but it's impossible to -
Her Majesty will not appear
for breakfast this morning.
Breakfast for His Highness.
Please, Your Highness.
- Do you speak French?
- No, Your Highness.
( No Audible Dialogue )
You're the only one in the palace
who looks up to me.
Just look at me
I think my heart will break
Nobody seems to take me seriously
Honestly
I'm just as lonely
as a man can be
The days mean nothing at all
And when the shadows fall
The moon is only
wasting time on me
Candidly
There must be something
awful wrong
With me
I have a pair of hands
To hug and hold
But nobody's using them now
I've loads of love
That could be told
But nobody's using them now
I've a world of time
That's all my own
They say that you go silly
if you spend it alone
I'm telling the truth
I'm just wasting my youth
'Cause nobody's using it now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using it now
There's a bridal suite
In gold and blue
But nobody's using it now
I've learned to wear pajamas too
What's the use
of wearing them now
I've sown wild oats
I have indeed
But now that I've stopped sowing them
I'm going to seed
For years and for years
I've had great ideas
But nobody's using them now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using them now
I have a big settee
with patent springs
I've some pleasing ways and -
( Chuckles ) other things
I'm a family man
who's out of sorts
I'm just a loving papa
to a great lot of thoughts
I blush to admit
I've still plenty of" it"
But nobody's using it now
No, no, no, no
Nobody's using it now
Zum, zum
( People Chattering )
( Woman )
... try to see the prince.
Isn't there standing room?
Oh, but I must see the prince.
( Chattering Continues )
Oh? Oh.
Oh, is that so?
Mm-hmm. All right.
The moment it was announced
that Your Majesty...
would attend the opening
of the opera in person...
the place was completely sold out.
( Ministers Chattering )
- Your Majesty is still the biggest drawing card in the country.
- ( Minister) Yes, indeed, Your Majesty.
Have the spotlights been focused
on the entrance to the opera house?
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
Twelve motion picture cameras
will photograph the arrival...
of Your Majesty and the prince consort.
The crowd will cheer
and press forward with such enthusiasm...
that it can be kept in check only
by the most heroic efforts of the police.
And has all this been well rehearsed?
Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
The crowd is the same one
that we used at Your Majesty's wedding.
They all know their parts perfectly.
Good. Go on.
When Your Majesty and the prince consort
appear in the royal box...
the whole audience will rise.
For two minutes,
we will have silent homage.
Your Majesty and the prince consort will
reward your loyal subjects with happy smiles.
You are both in the best of humor.
- In the best of humor?
- Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
And does the prince consort know
he's to be in the best of humor?
Well - ( Coughs )
Your Majesty, I-I -
- Well, you'd better tell him, to be safe.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
Your Majesty frightens us.
Tonight is your first opportunity of showing
your matrimonial happiness to the public.
- And if the prince consort does not
smile in joy- - It will mean disaster.
The diplomatic representatives of the whole
world will be guests in the royal box.
And unfortunately,
the Afghan ambassador too.
And if he sees any coolness between you,
he'll report it to Afghanistan.
Well, let him.
But surely Your Majesty knows that
if Afghanistan hears anything...
Baluchistan hears it too.
And if Baluchistan hears it,
then all Persia will know it.
And what is talked of in Persia
spreads all over Turkey.
And when anything is known in Turkey,
the Armenians get onto it immediately.
And you know how many Armenians
go to America.
So if Wall Street hears of a rift
in the matrimonial happiness of Your Majesty...
it will stop all credits
and we do not get the loan.
- And without that loan, we are broke.
- ( Ministers ) Broke!
( Door Slams )
So, unless I have a smile on my face
tonight, we are broke.
- ( Ministers ) Yes, Your Highness.
- And you call yourselves statesmen.
Borrowing money
is all that you're able to do.
Prince Alfred,
what are you permitting yourself?
I permit myself
to make the following suggestion.
We do not need a loan.
We have enough natural resources.
There is my plan
for the national budget.
( Whispered Chattering )
I have worked out everything -
in my sleepless days.
The country can be saved
without a loan.
Go on.
Read it.
It includes everything.
Even your dressmakers' bills.
I am not permitted to receive suggestions
in the affairs of state...
from the prince consort.
Not even when they are good?
Not even then.
- Do you speak French?
- Yes, Your Highness.
Too bad.
Prince Alfred, I must ask you
once and for all...
not to interfere in affairs of state.
I know.
I'm Your Majesty's husband
and nothing else.
Prince Alfred,
you may leave the room.
Stay, gentlemen.
Prince Alfred,
you will meet me here at 7:00...
in full gala uniform -
all medals and decorations -
and in the very best of humor.
And in case I don't feel like complying
with Your Majesty's wish?
This is not my wish.
It is my command.
If Your Majesty had not already
commanded me to smile...
I would laugh.
( Alfred Laughing )
( Laughing Continues )
( Chattering )
When they went riding yesterday
they never spoke a word
- You don't say
- Is it true
- Think of that
- Who's to blame
And he asked for garlic
in his soup at dinner, so I heard
- Something's wrong
- Did you hear
- Are you sure
- What a shame
I know the queen regrets it
but of course the man's to blame
- Good for you
- Not at all
- I'm for that
- Let it go
Well, here I am, still single
May my children stay the same
Drink to that
Here's to you
- Poor old prince
- Is that so
Don't you dare to say a word
against the queen
The queen is always right
The queen is just a woman
and she's just as mean
Say that again, we'll fight
- Don't forget she has a husband
- Don't forget she is the boss
And Her Majesty
can run him out of town
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
( Simultaneously ) - The prince
is right - The queen is right
- That's enough from you
- Sit down
Don't you dare to say a word
against the queen
The queen is always right
The queen is just a woman
and she's just as mean
Say that again, we'll fight
- Don't forget she's got a husband
- Don't forget she is the boss
And Her Majesty
can run him out of town
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
- The prince is right
- The queen is right
That's enough from you
Sit down
You can tell him
my patience is exhausted.
If he won't come here voluntarily,
I'll have him brought here...
even if I have to send soldiers.
Yes, Your Majesty.
- ( Audience Chattering )
- ( Instruments Tuning )
( Doorknob Turns )
( Master Of Ceremonies )
His Highness, the prince consort.
( Door Closes )
Why are you dressed like this?
What does it mean?
It means I'm dressed for traveling.
I'm going to Paris.
You go change at once.
You're going to the opera with me.
Only with soldiers and handcuffed.
Alfred, you know very well
how much depends on this -
my name, my position,
my reputation as queen.
If you fail me tonight,
all will be over between us.
It is already over-
and forever.
- Alfred.
- You have gone too far, madame.
You thought you could order the former
military attach around and command the husband.
But you forgot one thing, madame -
that first, I am a man.
- I know that, Alfred.
- No, you do not.
But I'm going to prove it to you.
Good-bye, madame.
- You mean you're really going?
- Yes.
Oh, but, Alfred,
won't you love me anymore?
Only with soldiers and handcuffed.
( Louise )
Alfred!
Alfred!
( Crying )
Dream lover
Fold your arms around me
Dream lover
Your romance has found me
I'm held in your spell
( Crying )
Knowing so well
Dreams never tell -
( Sobbing )
- ( Trumpets )
- ( Soldier Chorus ) Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong, marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Singing a song of motherland
Grenadiers
Steady in war, ready in love
Living to serve no other land
Every uniform
Taking our hearts by storm
Who could be true
as the grenadiers
Grenadiers
Steady and strong
marching along
Heroes who scorn all fears
Royal men
The royal grenadiers
Left, right, left, right
left, right, left, right
Sing out
( Audience Chattering, Laughing )
( Audience Resumes Chattering )
( Chattering Stops )
( Applause Continues )
( Romantic )
As for myself,
you needn't have come at all.
All right, good-bye.
Stay here.
Beg me to stay.
I ask you to stay.
Don't ask me. Beg me.
I beg you to stay.
Not commanding.
Begging.
Begging.
I beg you to stay.
Since you beg me so lovingly...
I'll be generous.
I'll stay.
You want to humiliate me.
That's why you came here.
No. I came because -
Why?
Because, after all...
I didn't want to ruin the woman
I once loved.
But tomorrow, I'm leaving for Paris.
And as soon as this loan of yours
is signed...
I will file papers for divorce.
If you don't treat me nicely,
I'll go right home.
All right. Go on.
Still here?
( Intensifies )
If you don't take those glasses from your eyes,
I'll tear them away.
Go on.
( Chuckles )
You can't do it, eh?
You're a queen.
You must behave.
If you were just a mere woman,
you could make a scandal.
But you can't.
That's what you get
for being a queen.
- ( Speaking Foreign Language )
- Huh?
( Foreign Language )
Ah, yes. Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh!
He'll never get these glasses back.
- ( Ends )
- ( Applause )
Applaud.
Smile.
Oh! We are in the very best
of humor, eh?
( Chuckles )
( Louise Sobbing )
( Alfred Humming Jauntily )
I blush to admit
I've still plenty of"it"
But somebody will use it now
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Somebody will use it now
She is in her room,
and he is in his.
Yes. Sad, isn't it?
When we get married,
let's be common...
and only have one room between us.
Why even one room between us?
( Crying )
( Line Clicking )
( Crying Continues )
( Sobbing )
( Sniffling )
( Alfred Humming )
( Humming Stops )
Who is it?
Louise.
What do you want?
A mouse is in my room.
Call your soldiers.
( Humming Resumes )
What are you doing?
Packing.
- Can I help you?
- No, thanks.
- ( Humming Louder )
- ( Whimpering )
( Sobbing )
( Humming Continues )
( Sobbing Louder)
( Humming Stops )
( Key Turns In Lock )
( Humming )
( Whistling )
( Whistling Stops )
( Door Opens )
Please.
( Doorknob Jiggles )
The key, please.
So, you're trying to use force
again, madame?
( Key Turns In Lock )
Where shall we live in Paris?
- We?
- Yes.
I'm going with you.
Wherever you go,
I'll follow you.
( Whimpers )
You can't get rid of me.
Well, there is no use
for me to leave then.
No. No use at all.
I suppose I might as well stay here.
I suppose so too.
But how am I going to punish you?
- And you must be punished.
- Yes.
- And severely.
- Yes.
But how?
Let me see.
An awful punishment.
Let me see.
It's really not so easy.
( Louise )
May I- May I make a suggestion?
Yes.
Sit down.
If I were in your place, I'd say:
" Louise, I don't want a divorce.
- I love you too much for that. "
- No, no, no, no, no.
But I'd say: " Louise...
"you can't order me around
any longer.
" From now on,
I shall take command -
" not only of the affairs of state...
" not only in the Department of the Navy...
but also here at home. "
And my first command would be...
" Louise, don't dare
to leave this room.
" You shall stay here...
" at my side...
attached to me
from morning till, uh" -
" from night till morning. "
And you call that a punishment?
Yes...
my king.
- Eyes of
- Lizette
- Smile of
- Mignonette
- The sweetness of
- Suzette
- In me arrayed
- In you arrayed
( Songbird Twittering )
( Exit Music )
( Continues )
( Continues )
( Ends )