The Man (2005) Movie Script
Hello, Detroit.
What a pleasure
to be here.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we in the exciting field
of dental supply sales
are here in the Motor City
for a reason...
to provide quality,
precision tools
to professionals
who demand the very best.
Thank you.
Whoa-ho-ho,
thank you very much.
Please be seated.
Oh.
I was just
going over my speech.
You've been going
over it for two weeks.
Honey, you know your speech.
I know your speech.
- The kids know it.
- It's a big one, Susan.
It's a speech for every sales rep
in the Northeast United States.
It is a big one.
You've done very well
for yourself, Andy Fiddler.
Now get dressed.
Your plane leaves at 7:00.
You know, Detroit's
quite a sports town, honey.
Maybe I'll bring you
back a Piston.
Do me a favor.
Just bring yourself back.
Detroit ain't Wisconsin.
# One, two,
three, four #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# Rah rah rah rah #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# I just want to celebrate
another day of living #
# I just want to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Put my faith
in the people #
# But the people
let me down #
# So I turn the other way
and I carry on anyhow #
# That's why I'm telling you I just
wanna celebrate #
# Yeah, yeah,
another day of living #
# Yeah, I just want
to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Had my hand
on a dollar bill #
# And the dollar bill
blew away #
# But the sun is shining down
on me, and it's here to stay #
# That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate #
# Yeah, yeah,
another day of living #
# Yeah, I just want
to celebrate... #
- Dude! Hold up!
- # Another day of living #
# I just want to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Don't let it all
get you down, no no... #
60 AR-15s,
30 M-4s, 6,000 rounds
of 5-5-6 ammunition
and three dozen
M-16s, all of it stolen from the vault
in this building.
But that's not why I rolled you
out of bed at 5:00 a.m., Agent Vann.
You wanna tell me how your partner
winds up a speed bump
on the 94 Freeway?
I'll tell you how.
Your partner was
the inside man on the job.
Once they had the guns,
he became a loose end.
I'm gonna tell you
something else,
something I've learned in 20 years
with Internal Affairs...
if a cop's dirty, nine times out of 10,
his partner's dirty too.
Wouldn't surprise me
if you were the one who popped him.
You got a bug up
your ass about me?
Well, let's get it out
right now, right here, you and me.
No, huh?
So step off,
stop wasting my time.
You don't seem too upset
about your partner.
You want to charge me with not being
upset, go right ahead. Be my guest.
Hell, I'll write a full confession
about how I don't give a shit.
If he was dirty,
he got what he deserved.
I'm not finished
with you.
Well, I'm finished with you,
and let me tell you
what I learned
in all my years on the job...
Don't trust anyone.
That includes partners
and especially
Internal Affairs skid marks.
I'll be seeing you, Vann.
I tried to keep
I.A. Off your back.
Booty. Mmm,
don't get into this.
I'm already into this.
You know those weapons
will be out of the city within 24 hours.
Yeah, well, you can't
set up a buy in 24 hours.
- Watch me.
- Vann, nothing stupid.
Yes, Lieutenant.
Bye-bye, enjoy your stay.
Bye, hope you had a nice flight.
I had a wonderful flight, and I'm
wondering if you can do me a favor.
I was talking to one
of the stewardesses back there,
and we were discussing tongue scrapers.
I found one in my bag.
I'm wondering
if you can pass this along.
- I'm a dental supply salesman.
- Yes, I will.
Sir, you might
have to step aside.
Just tell her it's
daily tongue-scraping
and anti-bacterial
conditioning
which will assure her
the freshest breath.
See this right here?
This is a nickel-plated Ladysmith
nine Mary-Mary chrome inlay. Go on,
- feel that.
- It's got a nice weight to it.
- Yeah, so do you, baby.
- What?
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, hold up... that's a cop car!
Get your ass off my car, Booty!
Come on!
Your ass is still
on my car, Booty!
Run faster, Booty!
Pump those arms! Get those knees up!
- Your form is all jacked up, dawg!
- What you want, man?
- I want to buy some guns!
- I don't know
- what you're talking about!
- I'm talking about a telephone pole.
What?
Why do we have
to do this every time?
It's these repetitive ass-whippings
that cause guys like me
- to burn out on the job.
- Du... ah-ha... ah!
Somebody wiped out
our vault last night. Who was it?
- How the hell should I know?
- I'm gonna check the front of my car.
If it smells like ass, I'm gonna
beat you like a runaway slave.
No no, all right,
all right, all right.
- All right what?
- Maybe I heard something.
Tell me what you heard.
Something about a lot
of merchandise in play. That's all.
Ooh. You know
how I can tell you're lying?
I can smell the bullshit
coming out of your mouth.
No, all right!
Maybe I know one of the guys, huh?
Well, hook me up.
Tell him you found a buyer.
Oh, man, he already got
a buyer. You're too late.
Tell him I'll double his price.
I can get 20 grand cash right now.
20 grand? Man, that'll only
get you a taste, dawg.
A taste is all I need.
Hook me up. Now.
- $38.50.
- That was very nice drive in, Mr., uh...
- is it Bedwetter?
- Bedwe-teer.
I see you're from
Turkey, Mr. Budweeder.
I've got $20, $40.
There you go. Keep the change.
I was in Turkey
recently, uh...
Santos,
what's cracking, dawg?
- Yo, I need 20 grand.
- Yeah, don't we all?
I need that in non-sequential
unmarked bills, and I'm in a hurry.
I'm not your
personal ATM, man.
Come on, Santos.
You know you're gonna give it up,
so cut the bullshit.
Hey, I don't have that kind
of cash down here right now.
Nuh-uh. See? You're lying. Now
I personally logged a million in cash
into that vault
right over there just last month
on a case we both
know hasn't gone to trial yet,
so you're still holding.
What happened
between us, Santos?
Where the love, dawg?
You realize it's my ass
if you come up short again.
It's just flash money.
I'll have it back this afternoon.
Come on, now go
and get that.
I'll have the paperwork
done by the time you get back.
All right, but I need
that money back here by 4:00.
You can trust me, man.
Come on now.
I'm in a hurry. Chop-chop.
Work that combination, baby.
Look, man, they'll give you a taste,
then they'll tell you
where to bring the money.
They don't want the goods and the cash
- in the same spot.
- Booty, I do this for a living.
Look, I don't know these guys.
They're from out of town.
What do you know, Booty?
This is the place, man.
He'll give you a gun and a phone now
and call you later
for the money.
Take the corner seat
at the counter
and be carrying a "USA Today."
A "USA Today," the newspaper.
Look, man, I did what
you asked me to do. I'm done with this.
You better hurry up, man.
By this time tomorrow,
the guns will be gone.
- You want a taste?
- Pardon me?
- There's your taste.
- That's my taste?
Wait for our call.
Hey!
What?
He's got a gun.
No no, this is not...
No no no, it's not my gun.
It's the man that
was sitting here he j... he just left.
Oh oh!
He's got a gun, man!
It's going back in the bag.
Back in the bag.
- Drop the gun!
- Ah!
- Drop the gun! Now!
- Yes.
- Yes, the gun's going down.
- Drop it!
The gun is going down.
Gun is down.
- Gun is down.
- Just shut up.
All right. Ah!
You picked the wrong day to pull
a stick-up, dickwad.
It's not my gun.
Some guy gave it to me.
- What guy?
- Some guy. He gave me a bag,
- and he said, "Taste it. Taste it."
- He said what?
- Something about a taste.
- Tell me what he said,
exactly word for word
what he said.
He said, "That's your taste,"
but there was nothing to taste,
just a phone and a gun.
Look, I just went in for a cof...
- Oh shit. They think you're me.
- They think I'm black?
No, they don't think
you're... A.T.F.
You're coming with me.
What? I have done
nothing wrong!
- Well, Simon?
- It's coming.
All right, I got him.
"Fiddler, Andy.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin."
He's not federal, he's not
local, no law enforcement.
- No sheet. He's clean.
- Yeah, he's too clean.
- Screw him.
- No, wait a minute.
"Istanbul, Turkey.
Customs.
- Trafficking."
- Turkey? He do any time?
- Interpol shows an outstanding warrant.
- He got away from the Turks?
No shit. This guy's gotta be
smarter than he looks, huh?
Well, he can't be
any dumber than he looks.
So what's this guy
look like?
Well, he, uh...
he had very good teeth.
- What does he look like?
- He looks good. He looks good.
He had a very nice face,
very handsome face.
He was a very
attractive man.
N... not to me.
Uh, I mean, I am married
to a woman.
And even if I wasn't married,
I don't mean that kind of attractive.
Personally,
- he was not attractive to me.
- Describe him to me.
Short hair.
Short hair
which made his head
look smaller than it actually is,
and I only mention that because I've
been told my head is somewhat large,
and when I looked over at his,
it's like... you know when you look
through binoculars the wrong
way, it-it-it looks...
That's you.
Answer it!
Hello.
- Turk.
- Just a moment, please.
- Can you believe this?
- He wants to talk to the Turk.
- That's you.
- That's me?
- That's you.
- I'm the Turk?
Look at you.
This is the Turk.
Okay, listen, Turk.
When this phone rings, you answer it.
- You understand?
- Yes, I answer it.
- You and you alone. Are we clear?
- Me and me alone, right.
Great. Now listen, you put
the package in the trash can
on the northwest corner of Fort
and Woodward in five minutes.
- Hello.
- So what did he say?
Something about a package
and a trash can.
Look, I have nothing to do
with this. I'm here for a convention.
I don't give a shit.
Now what trash can?
Fort and Woodward.
Whoa!
Take this package,
put it in that trash can,
and you can go.
I should point out
to you, sir,
that I am taking
a mental picture of you
just in case there's...
any... trouble.
Hey, you know what?
Th-this... this is not for you.
Who's it for?
Well, it's... it's,
uh, for somebody else.
- Who?
- Just someone.
- Someone you don't know.
- Try me.
No, I'm not trying you.
This is not garbage, okay?
This is business,
so just please
don't touch it.
All right,
give me the bag.
- Give me the bag.
- Oh, Jesus.
It's not your bag.
See what he's doing?
- He took my bag.
- Who is this guy?
- This bag is mine! It's not his.
- Damn!
Okay okay.
What is the matter with you?
- Just let me go. All right.
- Get up. Get up!
- Get in the car. Get in the car!
- I think we should...
We should look
for another can.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
I ask you to do one thing,
and you screw it up.
- Hello.
- What the hell's the matter with you?
I ask you to do one thing,
and you screw it up.
Yes, well, this was
not planned well.
No no, listen, Turk.
You know what?
You just bring the package
to First and Bagley
and wait there.
So what did he say now?
Hey, get back here!
Excuse me.
Now you pay.
Get off my car!
Get down! Oh man,
he's got a gun! Ah!
Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch!
Ow! Oh! Ow!
Oh, boy! Oh!
Ah! Ah!
Ow ow ow ow!
9-1-1.
What's your emergency?
- Yes, hello, I've been shot.
- Can you give me a location?
- I don't know. Downtown.
- Where downtown, sir?
A man in a black car
kidnapped me.
Do you have
a license plate number?
Yes, just give me
a second.
"347DNB." Hurry.
I just called 9-1-1,
- and you are in serious trouble.
- Get up.
- You shot me.
- I grazed you.
Well, that's still
shooting me!
- Watch your ass.
- Ow ow ow ow!
You could have
killed me back there.
If I wanted to kill you,
you'd be dead.
I wanted to graze you, you're grazed.
It was a training bullet.
Well, I'm bleeding, although you might
call it "training blood."
Here, use this.
Taco sauce?
Yes, it's a natural
antiseptic.
Sprinkle some of that on your ass
so you don't get an infection.
Yeah, well, I don't even
wanna know how you discovered that.
So what, you keep
this in your glove compartment and just
splash it on a salami sandwich
and then splash some on your behind?
Use it or don't use it.
It's your ass.
You got any guacamole in there?
I hear it makes a great cold compress.
- Just put it back!
- All right, I'll use it. I'll use it.
Don't you have
traffic to look at?
Oh, shit.
You gotta be kidding me.
Get out of the vehicle
with your hands in the air!
Get out of the car
and show me your hands!
Turn around!
Hands on your head!
- No no no no no, I'm not with him.
- Your hands!
I don't know him!
He just...
he... he...
he kidnapped me.
He took me
against my will.
He... look. You see?
He wanted to put
taco sauce on my butt.
The guy is nuts.
Nuts.
- Hands!
- Run my plates!
You! Back in the car.
- Your hands!
- You wanna see my hands?
Here.
Federal agent.
Run my plates!
- The car is federal, sir. A.T.F.
- That's right.
Federal agent.
Federal prisoner.
Back in the car!
You are interfering
with a federal investigation.
Move your asses!
That was fun.
Give this to him
and walk away.
Hey. If you try
to run this time,
I'm gonna put a bullet
in part of the ass you really need.
Ooh-ooh! Oh!
So you like the merch?
- The merch?
- The merch.
Well, you know,
there are days
that I like it
and days that I don't.
It depends.
I'm on the fence.
- Do you like the merchandise, Turk?
- Yes, I do...
like the merchandise.
I, uh...
thanks for asking.
So there's gonna be
20 grand in there, right?
In the bag.
Come on.
Good.
Good first step.
We'll be in touch.
And, uh,
one more thing, Turk...
No more fruitcake
stuff, okay?
- Sure.
- Good. Goodbye.
Get in the car.
- Why?
- I'm not done with you yet.
- You said I was done.
- I lied. I do that.
- Now get up. Get in the car.
- No.
Get up!
Hey... don't make me
chase you.
I'm tell...
- Hey!
- Stop!
Stop! Help me!
- Hey!
- Help!
You're under arrest.
Hands on the car.
On the car!
Who the hell
is this guy?
Run that.
He's international.
- Ow!
- Watch your head.
Okay, that's it.
I am writing a letter.
- Number 3.
- Number 3.
Three, step forward.
Three, that's you.
- That's him.
- You sure?
I'll never forget
that face.
- All right, thank you. You can go.
- Excuse me.
I'd like to speak
to whoever's in charge, please.
All right, number 3, stay.
The rest can go.
Thank you.
Boy, sometimes you
just have to speak up.
- Are you in charge here?
- Yes, I am.
Oh, boy, have I been waiting
to talk to you.
- Really?
- My name is Andy Fiddler.
I'm in dental supply sales,
and believe you me,
I never thought I'd be standing here
in a police station
- with a bullet wound in the keister.
- Hmm.
But I am extremely upset
with this man here,
and I must confess
with your whole operation in general,
because quite frankly,
I have nothing to do with any of this.
Well, that's not what
it looks like, Mr. Keister.
The weapon you used
in the diner,
stolen from A.T.F.'s vault.
The gun you're robbing
the cashier with.
Oh, no no no no.
No no, there's no robbing.
I'm not robbing.
You see, although I can certainly see
how you'd get
that impression.
We also got a red notice
from Interpol when we ran your name.
There's an outstanding
warrant for your arrest.
- What?
- Istanbul, Turkey ring any bells?
Oh. Oh, yes.
It does ring some bells,
and believe it or not, there is
a perfectly reasonable explanation
for that, and you will
find it very funny,
- 'cause it's quite a story.
- Tell it on the way.
- Place your left hand here.
- So I took the family to Europe
in the summer of '98, and one
of our stops was Istanbul, in Turkey...
a must-see
if you've never been.
- Anyhoo, my wife has this thing about...
- Yo, Vann, phone call.
...Persian rugs.
Okay, I'm not a complainer,
but that officer
was very abusive.
I mean, not only was
he physically violent,
but... but more disturbing to me,
he... he was just rude.
- Vann.
- Your daughter wants to know
if you're coming
to her recital tonight.
Oh you know,
I can't.
Uh, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
Um, I gotta go.
Would you tell her for me?
You need to tell her.
So when we got back
to the hotel,
we discovered
the rug is too big for the suitcase.
So we decided
to leave the rug at the hotel
to be sent to us
when we got back home.
Turn right.
So we finally get home,
but we never got the rug.
Long story short,
we get a letter from the hotel
that said the rug had
been seized at Customs.
Now evidently
this rug had been stolen.
It was a 1,000-year-old
prayer rug,
and... and it was stolen,
but how was I to know?
I didn't know, and I'm the one
that's out $230.
Yeah, it was all very innocent,
as I'm sure
- you can now understand.
- I see.
- Lock him up.
- What?
- Let's go.
- What?
- Let's go.
- Get him out of here!
What? Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
- This way.
- I have done nothing wrong!
- Come on. Move it.
- I have... l... l...
I haven't...
I haven't done anything!
Yo, this is the number
to this phone.
I want you to put
a trace on it.
I want the owner and an address.
Call me when you got it.
Okay.
Lieu, you looking
for me?
Explain the Wisconsin kid.
I set up a buy with the bad guys,
he got in the middle of it,
- now they think he's me.
- So you're telling me
- the guns are still in play.
- Yeah.
- How do you know this isn't a setup?
- With this guy?
- Yeah, with this guy.
- Not with this guy.
Okay, where is he?
He's in holding,
and he's gonna stay there.
Yes, Ma'am.
Shit.
They ate him already.
Caucasian gentlemen.
Big glasses.
Oh yeah, didn't have
the heart to put him in there.
Ah-ah!
Thank you.
- Come on.
- So, am I free to go now?
Go? Oh, hell no.
They're fixing a shit sandwich upstairs,
and you're
the mayonnaise.
Possession of a stolen weapon,
armed robbery and the Turkish
government wants
to have a little chat
with you before we're done.
Okay, I want to talk
to an attorney.
I get one phone call,
and I want to call an attorney.
Let me lay your options
out for you here...
You can come with me
as a Suspect Who's Cooperating,
or you can stay here
and get married tonight.
- So what's it gonna be?
- Okay, just so we're clear...
I am not choosing
to go with you.
I'm choosing
not to stay with them.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
Lag escort, first-time
session.
Hang on.
This is one
screwed up crew.
All right, just so
there's no confusion, here's the deal...
You're in my world now,
not yours.
And in my world, your responsibilities
begin and end with me.
And what would those
responsibilities be?
Well, these guys think you wanna
buy guns from them.
I need you to meet 'em one more time
and set up a buy,
- so I can bust their ass.
- Okay, I am developing a slight phobia
about meeting these guys.
The whole meeting thing, quite frankly,
is getting irritating.
I have to be honest.
Look, I have done everything
you've asked me to do.
Why can't I go?
What does any
of this have to do with me?
Because every time
these guys meet somebody new,
they're on the lookout
for the Man.
And you most certainly
do not look like the Man.
Oh, I don't look
like the Man.
Well, thank you, because
that clears up absolutely nothing.
Who... who is the Man?
The heat, the pig,
the po-po, 5-0,
the undercover agent
that's gonna bust their ass.
You're such a white bread son
of a bitch, these assholes trust you.
Well, you know,
people do trust me.
- That's not a compliment, shit stain.
- Okay, you know what?
Why do you swear so much?
Do you think it makes you sound tougher
when you just swear
all the time?
- Fuck you.
- Okay, that's good. That's really good.
Really classy. You know,
I could go around all day saying,
"F-U. F this
and F that
and F-ing this,
you mother-F-er."
But I don't because there has
to be some civility in the world.
Incidentally, there is a trick
you can use to curb that habit.
Every time you feel like saying
the "F" word, just go ahead and say it,
and then add,
"Crying out loud."
Fuck crying out loud.
Fuck crying out loud.
Fuck crying out loud.
And before you know it, you're saying,
"Oh, for crying out loud."
Let's see here.
- Oh, boy. Well...
- You did make her a promise.
You always break
your promises to her.
You want your daughter growing up
like you, not trusting anybody?
- That's not the point.
- It's exactly the point.
No, it's not.
You promised her you'd be
at her recital tonight.
Something came up.
You know, my little girl's a ballerina too,
and she's exactly your age.
- Really?
- Yeah,
I help her
with her pirouettes all the time.
That's not
what this is about.
This is about
you not wanting to go
- because her stepdad's gonna be there.
- Oh.
Is he dancing tonight, too?
And with the right
feet positioning...
there you go,
okay. Well!
Yeah, that's good.
Daddy, can Andy come
with you tonight?
Um...
Look, honey...
Daddy can't come tonight.
I'm sorry.
But I promise I will be there
next time. I swear.
I'm gonna make it up to you.
Oh, fuck...
crying out loud.
Hold on.
Look, Daddy's
gotta go, okay?
Go ahead.
Goodbye.
It was very nice
meeting you, Kate.
- You too.
- So what you got?
- The owner of that phone?
- Yeah.
- It's Cortez. Manny Cortez.
- Who?
- Katie.
- Thanks.
Come inside,
sweetheart.
Hang on.
Cortez's is back elevator,
second floor.
Oh, shit.
- Don't get up.
- You scared me, man.
What are you still
doing here, Cortez?
You were supposed to meet us
at the warehouse over three hours ago.
Do you mind?
I'm, uh...
I'm in the middle
of something here.
I truly don't care.
Hey, look. There's too much heat
on those guns, all right?
I mean, you killed a cop.
That was not in the deal.
Yeah, well,
he became a problem.
Listen, we got
the merchandise.
You need
to pay us for it.
I'm out, all right?
- I cannot do shit with those guns.
- You know what, Cortez?
That's your problem.
You got the money or not?
Find another buyer,
all right?
And you know what?
I suggest you get out of town
as quickly as possible.
Hey. Yo.
Close the door on your way out.
Sure.
Well, I guess that just leaves
the Turk.
I guess so.
Well, you've got
a very nice family.
You've just got
a wonderful daughter
- and a lovely wife.
- Ex-wife.
Ex-wife, yes, well, she seems
like a very nice person.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so... so...
so it just didn't work out, huh?
Well, whatever.
- Would you like to see my family?
- No!
Well, I would like
to see my family.
This is my oldest...
Hannah, she's 12.
I'm trying to get her interested
in the dental equipment game,
but I guess at that age, you know,
it's just not cool yet.
This is my little
ballerina right here.
And this is my wife Susan,
holding our newest addition... Emily.
Just turned 2.
Already talking a mile a minute.
Just talk talk talk
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
talk talk talk.
A regular little chatterbox.
- I wonder who she got that from.
- I think she got it from me.
- You think?
- Oh...
Well, I am, uh... I'm sorry
about your... situation.
What situation
would that be?
Well, you've got
people who love you,
and yet you seem
like a very sad and lonely man.
- I'm not lonely.
- Well, I think you're lonely.
- I'm not lonely.
- Fine, you're not lonely. You're alone.
Yes, I'm alone,
but I'm not lonely.
It's two different things.
Does the expression
"No man is an island" ring any bells?
Does the expression
"Shut your ass up" ring any bells?
What now?
I have to go visit
a friend of mine.
- Can I go with you?
- No.
Oh, well, I would
really like to go with you.
Look, everybody
in this neighborhood knows my ride.
- Nobody messes with it.
- Okay.
- # Big booty bitches, well... #
- Oh!
# Like to dutch,
another one bites the dust... #
Cortez.
Manny, where you at?
You hiding
under the bed again?
Woo! Manny.
- A.T.F.
- Yeah, this is Vann.
Would you send a bag wagon over
to Manny Cortez's place?
- The gun dealer?
- Yeah, he took the deluxe cruise
up shit's creek...
compliments
of a.45 to the chest.
No.
Hey! Hey!
Good afternoon.
Out of the car.
- Oh! Oh! Oh-ah!
- Whoa! What are you doing?
Ooh.
- Oh!
- Hey!
This was not a good idea.
Oh boy! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Drives pretty good.
You idiot! Moron!
Well, you left the keys
in the ignition.
Not the smartest thing
to do for a policeman.
This would be a good time
for you to be quiet.
I know that's nearly
impossible for you,
but if I hear the sound
of your voice right now,
I can't be responsible
for my actions.
So this would be
a very good time for you to shut up!
I have a small question.
I still have a question,
and I think I'm entitled...
What?
Do you have a plan?
What the hell
is that supposed to mean?
If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail.
Just a little constructive
criticism, okay?
That's how two people
working together help ea...
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
We're not working together,
so get that thought out of your mind.
Nobody said
- we were working together.
- Excuse me.
You dragged me
into this,
and I'm giving a speech
at 10:00 A.M. Tomorrow,
so the sooner you start
treating me like a partner...
Hey!
We are not partners.
Ain't no way in the world
that can happen.
Well, what am I
then? Hmm?
What are you?
You are my bitch,
that's what...
my own personal bitch.
I pulled you out
of lockup as an S.W.C.,
which means "Suspect
Who's Cooperating,"
which means
I own your ass,
which means
when I pull the strings, you dance.
Till then, you sit there,
keep your mouth shut
and don't say a word
like the puppet you are.
Hey, yo, Booty.
Hey, Booty,
what's up, man?
Let's go, come on.
- Pass the ball, yo.
- What up?
Booty!
Oh damn, man!
Hey! Come on, man!
Ah! Ah... ah... hey!
Booty, we never
finished our conversation.
Man, I told you
everything I know, man!
I will cheese-grate
your ass through this fence.
Oh, come on, dawg.
Look, I don't know no more! Wha... ah!
All right, all right, all right!
Shit, all right!
Would you get that phone book
over there for me?
- Who's this guy?
- Man, I don't know his name.
Look, would you get
your car out of my ass, please...
- Thank you.
...dawg. Ow!
Now who are those guys
you hooked me up with?
- I need names.
- Man, they gonna kill me, dawg!
- They gonna kill my whole family!
- Names!
- Ow!
- Hey, just give him the name.
- Give him the name.
- Name!
- Look, I can't!
- Just... just let's have a name.
- Look, I can't! Ow!
- You know what?
Make up a name!
Give him something!
- Look, there's no name here.
- No, they'll kill me.
He doesn't have
the name, uh...
Look, all right, all right! Look,
the dude in the picture, his name is...
- Joey Trent, man.
- Good, good name. That's a good name.
- That's a good name.
- No no no, that's... that's a real name!
- All right, keep talking.
- Look, I didn't know nothing
- about no cop getting killed.
- Yeah, right.
- Well, who's Joey's boss?
- I don't know.
Some dude
from out of town.
- Then give me an out of town name!
- I don't know his name, man!
- Oh, shit! Uhn!
- I'm out of it. I'm out of it.
Look, the dude's
named Kane!
The crew boss name is Kane, man.
Now that's all I know,
other than he have a bad rep.
Dawg, look,
- I swear on my Moms on that.
- Who hooked you up with Joey?
Man, Cortez, dawg.
Ooh, not a good sign.
Cortez is dead.
Man.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Okay.
Well, that was him.
You lucked out, Holmes,
but we will continue this conversation.
- Shut up, man.
- Oh, and, Booty...
watch your ass.
Man, you broke
my gold tooth, dawg!
- Where we going?
- Uh, Lucky's Bar and Grill in one hour.
- Is that all he said?
- No. No, there was something else.
- What did he say? What did he say?
- You're not gonna like it.
- You're gonna get mad.
- Tell me what he said.
- He wants me to bring money. A lot.
- How much? How much?
- Look, I'm just the messenger.
- How much money?
- Half a million dollars.
- What?
- I know. It was a heart-thumper.
- Shit!
- Where we going?
- My ATM.
- Yo, Santos.
- Thank God.
I need that
20 grand back.
I.A. Wants to look
at my books.
I need some more.
Are you out of your mind?
You think there's any way in hell
I'm gonna give you
another $20,000?
I need a half mil.
It's just show and tell.
I'll have it back in an hour.
Go away.
Santos, open up.
I got something to tell you.
- What?
- Open up and I'll tell you.
What?
Look, here's the thing.
You give me the half mil, I bust
the bad guys and make this right.
You don't, you lose
the 20 grand,
and you take a shit bath
for coming up short.
At least this way, you do what I ask,
you got a shot.
Why you doing this
to me?
You trusted me.
Come on.
- I'm hungry.
- You'll live.
No, no, no.
L... l... I'm really hungry.
- Come on, man.
- No, my blood sugar is low,
and I'm feeling faint.
I haven't eaten all day.
- I would like some food.
- Okay, I'll get you a burger.
- I would rather have something else.
- It's a tasty burger.
Red meat...
quite often
doesn't agree with me.
Am I gonna make it
to my speech tomorrow morning?
I don't know, man.
That ain't a priority to me.
You know what?
You're not
a very nice person.
You don't care about anyone,
you don't trust anyone.
Trust can
get you dead.
"Trust can
get you dead."
Well, there's not
one person
- in this world that you trust?
- Nope.
- Your mother?
- Oh, hell, no.
How can you not
trust your mother?
- She could be playing me.
- How can a person
go through life
like that?
Hey, at least
I'm honest about it.
What, you trust
everybody you meet?
I give everybody
the benefit of the doubt, yes.
And what happens
when they screw you over?
Who's gonna screw me over?
What, do you think people are
just waiting to screw people over?
You think the world
is one big screw-over?
I couldn't live my life like that.
I never met anyone
I wasn't friends
with eventually.
Well, I never met anyone whose ass
I didn't kick eventually.
Well, you must
be very proud.
Guns and shooting
and kicking ass.
You know, problems can be
solved without ever touching a gun.
Situation: You're walking
down the street with your wife,
a guy comes up out of nowhere,
grabs you from behind,
puts a gun to your wife's head.
What do you do?
- Bite him.
- Bite him?
Do you have any idea
how powerful the human bite is?
The masseter muscles
in the jaw
can exert 600 pounds
of pressure per inch,
and I'm not even
discussing bacteria.
Masseter muscles?
- It's Latin.
- It's bullshit.
Come on, finish this shit.
Let's go.
You can afford this,
right?
You all right?
I told you I have
a problem with red meat.
You've gotta admit that was
a good burger, though, right?
You sure
you're all right?
Yeah, it doesn't
last long.
Oh! Oh oh, damn!
Let the window down!
Oh, it's just a little flatulence.
Oh, "a little flatulence"?
An elephant could
take a shit in the back seat,
- and it wouldn't smell that bad.
- Can we just let it go?
Oh oh!
Oh, man!
Oh!
Oh!
All right,
let's do this.
This is real simple.
Show 'em the cash,
get a time and a place,
and you're back at the hotel giving
your speech tomorrow.
Uh, quick question.
Uh, you can't just go in there
and arrest him
because why?
I want his boss
and the guns in the same place
at the same time.
That's what this dance is all about.
Here, now go.
Remember, this is
strictly flash cash.
Show it to him,
close the bag, bring it back.
Now what if something
goes wrong?
- Nothing will go wrong.
- Yeah, but what if it does?
- Nothing will go wrong.
- Uh, yeah, but what if it does?
What if something goes wrong
and the deal doesn't happen?
I'm gonna be doing this
for the rest of my life!
Nothing will go wrong.
Hey, remember...
time and a place.
A time and a place.
Oh! Son of a bitch!
Hello.
- Ah! Excuse me.
- Hey, just checking for a wire, mate.
- Okay.
- Oh, you're good.
- Well?
- Yes.
- Born lucky. Yeah, am I good?
- Okay.
Oh, I would think.
I would think. Okay.
Great.
Good.
Now...
all we need is
a time and a place,
and we have
ourselves a deal.
And we have ourselves
a little problem.
What?
Nobody...
nobody comes up
with half a million
dollars in cash in an hour.
So you tell me...
who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
- Businessman, right.
And what kind of business
is that exactly?
What business?
I provide quality
precision tools
to professionals
who demand the very best.
Period.
Now are we
gonna do business?
Look, Turk.
I need to speak
to my boss.
Well, why am I talking
to you, Joey?
How do you
know my name?
Because...
I know your name.
L... I know names.
Let's just say
I was born lucky, okay?
You're lucky, huh?
And another thing,
from now on I only talk to Kane.
Look, Turk, you know,
l... I can't just go and tell Kane
he should walk away
from a deal he already has in place
just 'cause some guy
that he doesn't know
flashes some cash at me.
You understand?
Keep the money.
I don't care about the money.
You think I care about the money?
Don't care about it.
I can get money.
Just consider that a good faith deposit.
And you tell Kane
there's a lot more where that came from,
but only if he stops
wasting my time.
Oh, one more thing.
From now on...
I call you.
- Comprende?
- Comprende.
Excuse me.
- Where's the money?
- I gave it to him.
I told him I'd call him
with a time and a place,
and I walked out!
You should have seen it!
You gave a half million dollars
in cash
- to some gun-running killers?
- Correct.
Goddamn you!
Asshole!
Son of a bitch!
I've never seen anyone
that pissed off before.
- Okay.
- God damn it!
You said nothing unexpected
would happen, and guess what...
something unexpected
happened!
What's to stop them
from taking my money and running?!
Because they know they'd be giving up
a lot more where that came from.
He was about to walk.
I had to change the game plan,
- so I'm... I'm now calling the shots.
- Oh, so you in charge now?
- I am indeed.
- You the Man!
Yes. I am the Man.
Well, what are we
supposed to do now, Man?
Well, I think we just
let them stew for awhile.
You know what I mean?
And then we call them
- in, you know, a couple of hours.
- Well, what do we do
in the meantime, man?
We go
to your daughter's recital.
Oh no.
- Daddy!
- Hey, star.
I knew you'd come.
Thanks for reminding me
about tonight.
That's the first time
I've heard you say thank you
in a long time.
- I'm sorry.
- "Thank you" and "I'm sorry"?
I think your new partner
is a good influence.
- You have no idea.
- Andy, this is Mark.
- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Vann.
- Mark.
Well, we better go.
- Come on, Katie.
- Come on. Come on, baby.
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye, honey.
- Can I say something?
- No.
I think you're still
in love with her.
And if you don't get
over this,
you may lose the other
woman in your life.
Just a thought.
- You were so pretty.
- Well, Barney Bunny
should be in the bottom
dresser drawer, honey,
because that's
his very own bed. Oh.
Oh, good, sweetheart,
don't you feel better?
Okay, honey,
is Mommy there?
Hi, Susan. Oh, no no,
things are fine, yeah.
Yeah, convention's
going great great great.
You know, I'm...
I'm the Man.
Yes, I'm going to be home
tomorrow night,
so I'll, uh...
I'll see you then.
I love you too, hon.
Bye.
Thanks.
Why don't we go ahead
and do this thing
- so you can get back to your family?
- Really?
Just do this one thing,
and you're done.
Okay. Question:
When you say "done,"
do you mean "done" as in finished,
as in no more,
nothing else, "done"?
Make the call.
I've a question.
Um, isn't it normal
to have, uh... you know,
some... some kind of backup, uh,
for a situation
like this?
- I didn't hear you call for any backup.
- That's right.
- Oh.
- Here we go.
My hands are sweaty.
Just be the Man.
Who's this?
Well, I came to meet
your associate.
- This is my associate.
- Well, you know what?
- He looks like a cop.
- He does.
He does look like a cop,
but he is most definitely not a cop,
so let's put that to bed
right here and now.
- So like I said, Turk, who is he?
- Who is he?
He's, uh... my bitch.
Your bitch?
He's my own personal bitch.
Hey, bitch, come here.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
I pull the strings,
and he dances.
Is that right?
You his bitch?
Why don't you
answer the man?
You can talk, bitch.
I want to hear
you say it.
Who's my bitch?
- I am.
- I didn't hear that. Did you hear that?
- No.
- I couldn't hear anything.
We can't hear.
Who's my bitch?
- I'm his bitch.
- Attaboy.
All right,
well, get in... bitch.
Why don't you get
in the back, bitch?
- Crotch-grabbing time?
- Yeah yeah, we'll take care of it.
- Get in.
- All right.
- So where's your guy?
- He's here.
- Where?
- You're looking at him, asshole.
I am Kane.
Eh, you can still call me Joey,
I answer to both.
The real question is... who are you?
I'm the man with the money.
Better yet,
I'm the only man with the money.
There's just one small
problem, money man.
- What's that?
- I think you're a cop.
Oh. Yeah, I am.
- Huh.
- My name is Vann. Wade was my partner.
I've been tracking what he was doing
from the very beginning.
Could have busted him,
you, your whole gang,
but I was waiting
for the right time.
I want in.
It's true.
He's A.T.F.
- So you knew about the heist, huh?
- Hell, yeah.
Think I don't know
what my partner's doing?
How do I know you're not here to settle
the score for your dead partner?
Please. He played
in the rain; he got wet.
So you just wait for your moment
and this is it?
I can take the heat off you
from the inside and I can move the guns.
You know I got the money,
'cause my man here
just gave you that half million dollars
like it wasn't nothing.
You're not the only one
with connections, Agent Vann.
- I have a buyer.
- You had a buyer.
Manny Cortez. Unfortunately,
somebody put a.45 slug in him.
The same kinda bullet they
took out of my partner, Wade.
Now, some people might
call that a coincidence,
but I don't believe
in coincidences. Do you?
Not really.
See, I figured you'd
take my deal over Manny's
because you're greedy.
But now I see you're
just plain desperate.
You're stuck with a truckload
of guns and no buyer.
So what's it
gonna be, Joey... Kane?
You've got it all figured out,
haven't you, Agent Vann?
We'll see.
Let's go.
Enjoy your swim, ladies.
Tell me you didn't
pee in the pool.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
We gonna make
a deal with this cop?
Get in. Vin.
Go. Now.
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Yeah.
You can go back to the world
of dental supply.
Oh, ho-ho yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, if you want to show up tomorrow,
you know, I can make it happen.
No, I'm still in the middle
of this thing.
Oh, yeah yeah
yeah, well, sure.
Ah, just a thought.
It's been interesting.
Yeah, well...
Hey, maybe next time
I'm in town, I'll look you up.
Or not.
It doesn't, uh...
D... boy.
I hate
these long goodbyes.
So, uh...
Well... see you later.
- Yeah, you take it easy.
- Okay.
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Thank you!
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Oh, you killed them!
- You killed, Andy.
- You think? Yes!
- Oh! Yes?
- Mr. Fiddler.
Come with us.
- Where are you taking me?
- Watch your head.
He said I was done.
Uh, what is going on?
We're hoping you might
tell us, Mr. Fiddler.
Look, I don't know
who you people think I am.
We know exactly who you are.
What we don't know
is how a guy like you
could go so wrong so fast.
Here you are meeting
a gun runner from overseas
name of Joey Trent.
And here you are
doing the 411
with Hector Babcock,
a.k.a. Booty,
a gun dealer who we just
found in the trunk of his own car.
You've been running
with a rough crowd,
but you might be confused
about who the real bad guy is...
Agent Derrick Vann,
your new best friend.
He's the one that put the bullet
through Booty's head.
Oh, no.
- He wouldn't do that.
- No?
- No.
- Check out Manuel Cortez.
Another gun dealer
Vann paid a visit to.
Last but not least,
his own partner,
or ex-partner
I should say.
So you have
a dead A.T.F. Agent,
a dead snitch
and a dead gun runner.
The only connection?
Agent Vann.
Yeah, well, l-l...
I don't believe that.
Why not? 'Cause he's
such a nice guy?
Why do you think
he never called for backup?
He didn't
want cops around.
I don't know anything.
L... l...
- That's bullshit!
- I don't know anything!
That's bullshit!
You're up to your neck in it, pal.
- What do you want from me?
- You're gonna wear a wire
and get Vann to admit
he was in on the heist
and he killed his partner.
- Oh, is that all?
- You don't have a choice.
Really? What if I just
say "No, thank you"?
Then the U.S.
Department of Justice
will take
a giant shit on you.
H... how very pleasant.
Believe me, Mr. Fiddler,
your best option
is to go along with this
S.W.C., that's "Suspect..."
"Suspect Who's Cooperating."
I know, I've been that.
It, uh, didn't
work out too well.
Uh, let me get this straight.
You sprung him from holding,
gave him half a million dollars,
then you let him go?
The guy's a salesman
from out of town.
Oh, really? You think
it was a coincidence
that he showed up
at exactly the right place
at exactly the right
time in the diner?
I don't believe in coincidence.
For all you know,
- he could be an undercover I.A. Agent.
- Did you ever check him for a wire?
I didn't have to. The guy was
scared shitless half the time.
I can't believe that you
of all people bought his story,
Mr. L-Don't-Trust-Nobody.
How'd you get
so stupid so fast?
Now they got you
tied to the heist,
your partner's murder
and your snitch.
Booty's dead.
Remember, this guy
is a stone killer,
if he senses anything wrong,
he'll toe-tag your ass.
I just need
to get a sound check.
- You want me to say something?
- Good, I got it.
- Good, I got it.
- I got it.
- I got it.
- Hey. Hey, I said I got it.
I don't think I can do this.
Just do this one thing
for us and you're done.
Okay, you know what?
You guys have got to stop saying that.
The guy helped
me set up a buy
that's gonna go
down any time now.
What I need from you
is an assault unit to back me up.
Forget it. I want your badge
and your gun. You're on suspension.
Bullshit.
Your badge
and your gun now!
- You're serious?
- I'm trying to protect you.
We got a dead agent on our hands
and I can't account for one damn thing
you've done
for the past 24 hours,
except lose a lot of money and make
best friends with the I.A. Agent
who's gonna
bust your ass.
And that look
does not scare me.
I am one inch away.
An inch too far, okay?
Gun and badge.
You're wrong.
The guy's at a convention
right now, giving a speech.
Really? Then who's
that standing behind you?
Guess who?
- What the hell are you doing here?
- I knew you were gonna ask.
I, uh, just
finished my speech,
and I had a little
time before my flight
and thought I would
just stop by and see how you're doing.
Chit-chat?
Is... is there some place
we can talk?
- Yeah?
- Avenue A, warehouse three, right now.
Don't forget the money.
Why don't we, um,
talk in my car? Come on.
In the car?
We're going to the car.
Over.
Mission one, vehicle
leaving Michigan and First.
Okay, I read you,
Air Support.
Stay above audible range
but don't lose them.
Uh, copy that.
So, where are we headed?
- Do you want to get a smoothie?
- We're going to see our old friends.
Oh. Well, I've got
a 5:00 flight,
so l... I don't know
whether I'll have time to...
- Hey, you wanted to chit-chat?
- Yes, I do.
- So, let's chit-chat.
- Okay, good.
- So, how you doing?
- Good.
You wired?
Yes. Yes, I am wired.
I'm, uh, you know,
white-knuckle flier,
l... I get
pre-flight anxiety.
So, I get... I get very anxious
before a flight.
I didn't think it showed.
- So, I guess you got your money.
- No, I didn't.
Did you call for backup?
Do I ever
called for backup?
No.
You think I'm dirty.
- You tell me.
- I ain't telling you shit,
- you I.A. Piece of crap.
- What?!
Thought you had me played, didn't you?
Feeding me all that bullshit
- this whole time.
- I've been feeding you bullshit?
That's right.
Bullshit!
Oh, now, you wait
just one minute, mister!
You shot me,
you dragged me all over town,
you used me to set up
your dirty deals.
Hey, I've got
news for you, homie,
I'm not your
bitch anymore!
Now, I want the truth
and I want it now.
I think you're involved
and I think you killed Booty.
Aw, shit!
He just blew it.
- I killed Booty?
- I said, "I think you killed Booty."
How the hell
did you even know Booty was dead?
Exactly, how would I know?
I would not know. I wouldn't know,
so I could not be
more wrong on that point.
Let's do this, gentlemen.
- Mmm.
- Inside.
The target is stopped,
the deal's going down now.
They told me to get
a confession from you.
I know.
Shall we?
Down!
Shots fired,
repeat, shots fired!
Get me an assault team!
- Get out.
- We're gonna die. We're gonna die.
Hey hey!
Just calm down.
- We are not going to die.
- Oh!
- Trust me.
- Trust you.
There are the guns,
where's my money?
Let me ask you something.
Did he say I was his bitch
or his dumb bitch?
You think I'm just gonna roll
in here with a truckload of cash
so you can take it from me and kill me?
I look that stupid?
Well, just in case you are,
I'll speak real slow.
If you don't have two and a half million
dollars in your car,
you're both gonna die.
Right now.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, why's that?
'Cause we brought company.
You son of a bitch.
- You're under arrest.
- That's a cue.
What's my assault team's ETA?
I need 'em here now.
So, tell me...
which one of you Spice Girls
- blew my partner away?
- That would be me.
So, I guess that makes you
Scary Spice.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Gentlemen, let's not
lose our heads here.
'Cause we all have people
we want to see again.
I have a family.
And you have a daughter,
I'm sure you have someone.
- I have no one.
- Well, let me finish.
You have someone not in the traditional
sense of having someone...
Well, fucking now
I have you.
I have got to learn
to stop talking.
- Now back off!
- Or what?
- Do I really need to say it?
- You shoot him; I shoot you.
Better yet,
this gun can put a hole
through both of you.
- You won't do that.
- Wanna bet?
You won't shoot
your friend.
Ah, yes, he would
and he did,
- but I hope he won't.
- Shut up.
Nigel, take his gun.
Now, you give your gun to Nigel
and you get on your knees slowly.
Let it go.
You're alone, Agent Vann.
It might appear
that way,
but my man Masseter's
got my back.
- Who?
- Mr. Masseter.
Latin dude.
600 pounds of power.
Nice try.
See, now I'm gonna
count to three,
and if you don't give
your gun to Nigel
and get on your knees,
I'm gonna put a bullet
between your eyes.
One, two...
Three!
Ah! Oh!
Move in now, go!
Go! Go!
Oh!
Ah! Oh! Oh!
- SWAT team! Don't move!
- Shit!
Go! Go! Go!
Are you alive?
Oh! Are you hit?
- Yeah.
- Where?
In my ass.
In your ass?
Let me take a look.
Oh, shit!
Get off me!
I'll get
the taco sauce.
- All right. Easy.
- On your face! Get down! Now!
- All right, let's go!
- Watch your right! Watch your right!
Can I assume
that Agent Vann
has been cleared
by Internal Affairs now?
No, not so fast. I want
to see every penny of that money.
Heads up.
How about now,
you bean-counting moron?
Look, I appreciate
the ride, I really do,
but I think I can get
on a plane by myself.
Yeah, I'm sure you can,
but I just want to see
it with my own eyes.
The white zone
is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no parking.
Tell me I didn't hear
what I think I just heard.
It's really nothing,
l... uh, I wouldn't worry about it.
- It's nothing.
- Did you eat lunch
- when you went back to the hotel?
- I had some lunch.
What did you have
for lunch exactly?
- I had a sandwich.
- What kind of sandwich?
Steak sandwich.
Shit! You rotten-ass
son of a bitch!
- Oh my.
- Sisters.
Oh... woo! Woo!
Oh, sweet Jesus!
This is the boarding call...
Right through,
please, sir.
You're fine.
Sir, right through.
Uh...
Um, sir, could you
come with me, please?
On the mat, please.
Arms straight out.
That's it, thank you.
Huh.
Uh...
Is there something
in your butt, sir?
Yeah. A bullet.
It's permanently
lodged in my ass
that I received
in the line of duty,
- saving his ass.
- I can vouch for that.
I'm gonna have to ask you
to step behind the screen, please, sir.
I'm gonna need to get
a cavity search team, please.
Oh, hell, no!
That ain't happening!
- No no no no no no.
- Sir, uh, you cannot step
- past this point...
- Don't worry.
I am never going
past this point.
See what you done?
I can't even leave town now.
Sorry.
Well, I guess
I should get going.
You say goodbye to your beautiful
little ballerina for me.
Mmm. Tell yours
I said hello too.
Oh.
- Well...
- Whoa whoa, hey hey!
- Let's not and say we did.
- Okie-doke.
Told you I never met anyone
I wasn't friends with eventually.
Bye, Vann.
Andy.
- Cavity search team?
- Yes, sir.
Where the hell
you guys been?
Guy's getting away.
Grey plaid suit,
brown bag.
Hurry!
Sir! Excuse me, sir!
Sir! Excuse me, sir!
# All right... #
Yeah yeah, we, uh, need
to perform a cavity search, please.
- What? What?
- Yeah, just this way.
Who's my bitch?
- Uh, it'll just take a few minutes.
- I have done nothing wrong!
# It's your thing #
# Do what
you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what
you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# Since yay-high,
spend little all day #
# Mama's first born
cooked corn #
# So I guess
I'll command this kernel #
# External broadcast,
tune your receiver #
# Internal thoughts
is cold, behold #
# It's a strong-eyed vision,
I'll interfere your sight #
# Build blocks on your map
and play the pipe #
# Perched on rooftops,
I'm the bird-man #
# Singin' that song
of freedom #
# Fists balled tight
"Joe Fras-ing" your phrases #
# Fantasia, Mickey Mouse raps...
what's happenin'? #
# Re-runnin' 86 like 86 #
# Gazelles and overweight
laces and kicks #
# Traces of flicks
pose like statues #
- # Hey, you're doing it girl #
- # God bless your "ha-choos"#
- # I can't tell you #
- # How to shake your tattoos #
- # They gotta do you #
- # It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# All right #
# All right #
# You best believe I used to weave 'em,
I'm telling them dames, y'all #
- # Y'all just fish #
- # And the water that claims y'all #
# I used to do it all
so I'm not gonna refuse #
# To view the ball
in the hands of a player #
# Play on, slayer,
get slayed #
# I just want a piece that I
can manage like Mr. Kincaid #
# Men paid for what
you swallowed from out of the glass #
# I'm from outta the mass...
- # Eastern side of Long Island #
- # Stylin' wild #
# My profile ain't to buy drinks
but try drinks #
# Placed in front of me
by throwing charm your way #
# What? #
# My profile's
not the verily dashing #
# You ain't trying
to come with me #
# But if you want
to have fun with me #
# With these j-hats
I'll promise I'll enter wise #
# Won't be mad if right
after you hop from star to starlet #
# I'm all up
in your enterprise #
# It's your #
# It's your thang,
yeah #
# Gotcha #
# It's your #
# It's your thang,
yeah #
# It's your #
- # Gotcha #
- # It's your thang #
# Yeah #
# I gotcha. #
What a pleasure
to be here.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we in the exciting field
of dental supply sales
are here in the Motor City
for a reason...
to provide quality,
precision tools
to professionals
who demand the very best.
Thank you.
Whoa-ho-ho,
thank you very much.
Please be seated.
Oh.
I was just
going over my speech.
You've been going
over it for two weeks.
Honey, you know your speech.
I know your speech.
- The kids know it.
- It's a big one, Susan.
It's a speech for every sales rep
in the Northeast United States.
It is a big one.
You've done very well
for yourself, Andy Fiddler.
Now get dressed.
Your plane leaves at 7:00.
You know, Detroit's
quite a sports town, honey.
Maybe I'll bring you
back a Piston.
Do me a favor.
Just bring yourself back.
Detroit ain't Wisconsin.
# One, two,
three, four #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# Rah rah rah rah #
# I... yeah, yeah #
# I just want to celebrate
another day of living #
# I just want to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Put my faith
in the people #
# But the people
let me down #
# So I turn the other way
and I carry on anyhow #
# That's why I'm telling you I just
wanna celebrate #
# Yeah, yeah,
another day of living #
# Yeah, I just want
to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Had my hand
on a dollar bill #
# And the dollar bill
blew away #
# But the sun is shining down
on me, and it's here to stay #
# That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate #
# Yeah, yeah,
another day of living #
# Yeah, I just want
to celebrate... #
- Dude! Hold up!
- # Another day of living #
# I just want to celebrate #
# Another day of life #
# Don't let it all
get you down, no no... #
60 AR-15s,
30 M-4s, 6,000 rounds
of 5-5-6 ammunition
and three dozen
M-16s, all of it stolen from the vault
in this building.
But that's not why I rolled you
out of bed at 5:00 a.m., Agent Vann.
You wanna tell me how your partner
winds up a speed bump
on the 94 Freeway?
I'll tell you how.
Your partner was
the inside man on the job.
Once they had the guns,
he became a loose end.
I'm gonna tell you
something else,
something I've learned in 20 years
with Internal Affairs...
if a cop's dirty, nine times out of 10,
his partner's dirty too.
Wouldn't surprise me
if you were the one who popped him.
You got a bug up
your ass about me?
Well, let's get it out
right now, right here, you and me.
No, huh?
So step off,
stop wasting my time.
You don't seem too upset
about your partner.
You want to charge me with not being
upset, go right ahead. Be my guest.
Hell, I'll write a full confession
about how I don't give a shit.
If he was dirty,
he got what he deserved.
I'm not finished
with you.
Well, I'm finished with you,
and let me tell you
what I learned
in all my years on the job...
Don't trust anyone.
That includes partners
and especially
Internal Affairs skid marks.
I'll be seeing you, Vann.
I tried to keep
I.A. Off your back.
Booty. Mmm,
don't get into this.
I'm already into this.
You know those weapons
will be out of the city within 24 hours.
Yeah, well, you can't
set up a buy in 24 hours.
- Watch me.
- Vann, nothing stupid.
Yes, Lieutenant.
Bye-bye, enjoy your stay.
Bye, hope you had a nice flight.
I had a wonderful flight, and I'm
wondering if you can do me a favor.
I was talking to one
of the stewardesses back there,
and we were discussing tongue scrapers.
I found one in my bag.
I'm wondering
if you can pass this along.
- I'm a dental supply salesman.
- Yes, I will.
Sir, you might
have to step aside.
Just tell her it's
daily tongue-scraping
and anti-bacterial
conditioning
which will assure her
the freshest breath.
See this right here?
This is a nickel-plated Ladysmith
nine Mary-Mary chrome inlay. Go on,
- feel that.
- It's got a nice weight to it.
- Yeah, so do you, baby.
- What?
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, hold up... that's a cop car!
Get your ass off my car, Booty!
Come on!
Your ass is still
on my car, Booty!
Run faster, Booty!
Pump those arms! Get those knees up!
- Your form is all jacked up, dawg!
- What you want, man?
- I want to buy some guns!
- I don't know
- what you're talking about!
- I'm talking about a telephone pole.
What?
Why do we have
to do this every time?
It's these repetitive ass-whippings
that cause guys like me
- to burn out on the job.
- Du... ah-ha... ah!
Somebody wiped out
our vault last night. Who was it?
- How the hell should I know?
- I'm gonna check the front of my car.
If it smells like ass, I'm gonna
beat you like a runaway slave.
No no, all right,
all right, all right.
- All right what?
- Maybe I heard something.
Tell me what you heard.
Something about a lot
of merchandise in play. That's all.
Ooh. You know
how I can tell you're lying?
I can smell the bullshit
coming out of your mouth.
No, all right!
Maybe I know one of the guys, huh?
Well, hook me up.
Tell him you found a buyer.
Oh, man, he already got
a buyer. You're too late.
Tell him I'll double his price.
I can get 20 grand cash right now.
20 grand? Man, that'll only
get you a taste, dawg.
A taste is all I need.
Hook me up. Now.
- $38.50.
- That was very nice drive in, Mr., uh...
- is it Bedwetter?
- Bedwe-teer.
I see you're from
Turkey, Mr. Budweeder.
I've got $20, $40.
There you go. Keep the change.
I was in Turkey
recently, uh...
Santos,
what's cracking, dawg?
- Yo, I need 20 grand.
- Yeah, don't we all?
I need that in non-sequential
unmarked bills, and I'm in a hurry.
I'm not your
personal ATM, man.
Come on, Santos.
You know you're gonna give it up,
so cut the bullshit.
Hey, I don't have that kind
of cash down here right now.
Nuh-uh. See? You're lying. Now
I personally logged a million in cash
into that vault
right over there just last month
on a case we both
know hasn't gone to trial yet,
so you're still holding.
What happened
between us, Santos?
Where the love, dawg?
You realize it's my ass
if you come up short again.
It's just flash money.
I'll have it back this afternoon.
Come on, now go
and get that.
I'll have the paperwork
done by the time you get back.
All right, but I need
that money back here by 4:00.
You can trust me, man.
Come on now.
I'm in a hurry. Chop-chop.
Work that combination, baby.
Look, man, they'll give you a taste,
then they'll tell you
where to bring the money.
They don't want the goods and the cash
- in the same spot.
- Booty, I do this for a living.
Look, I don't know these guys.
They're from out of town.
What do you know, Booty?
This is the place, man.
He'll give you a gun and a phone now
and call you later
for the money.
Take the corner seat
at the counter
and be carrying a "USA Today."
A "USA Today," the newspaper.
Look, man, I did what
you asked me to do. I'm done with this.
You better hurry up, man.
By this time tomorrow,
the guns will be gone.
- You want a taste?
- Pardon me?
- There's your taste.
- That's my taste?
Wait for our call.
Hey!
What?
He's got a gun.
No no, this is not...
No no no, it's not my gun.
It's the man that
was sitting here he j... he just left.
Oh oh!
He's got a gun, man!
It's going back in the bag.
Back in the bag.
- Drop the gun!
- Ah!
- Drop the gun! Now!
- Yes.
- Yes, the gun's going down.
- Drop it!
The gun is going down.
Gun is down.
- Gun is down.
- Just shut up.
All right. Ah!
You picked the wrong day to pull
a stick-up, dickwad.
It's not my gun.
Some guy gave it to me.
- What guy?
- Some guy. He gave me a bag,
- and he said, "Taste it. Taste it."
- He said what?
- Something about a taste.
- Tell me what he said,
exactly word for word
what he said.
He said, "That's your taste,"
but there was nothing to taste,
just a phone and a gun.
Look, I just went in for a cof...
- Oh shit. They think you're me.
- They think I'm black?
No, they don't think
you're... A.T.F.
You're coming with me.
What? I have done
nothing wrong!
- Well, Simon?
- It's coming.
All right, I got him.
"Fiddler, Andy.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin."
He's not federal, he's not
local, no law enforcement.
- No sheet. He's clean.
- Yeah, he's too clean.
- Screw him.
- No, wait a minute.
"Istanbul, Turkey.
Customs.
- Trafficking."
- Turkey? He do any time?
- Interpol shows an outstanding warrant.
- He got away from the Turks?
No shit. This guy's gotta be
smarter than he looks, huh?
Well, he can't be
any dumber than he looks.
So what's this guy
look like?
Well, he, uh...
he had very good teeth.
- What does he look like?
- He looks good. He looks good.
He had a very nice face,
very handsome face.
He was a very
attractive man.
N... not to me.
Uh, I mean, I am married
to a woman.
And even if I wasn't married,
I don't mean that kind of attractive.
Personally,
- he was not attractive to me.
- Describe him to me.
Short hair.
Short hair
which made his head
look smaller than it actually is,
and I only mention that because I've
been told my head is somewhat large,
and when I looked over at his,
it's like... you know when you look
through binoculars the wrong
way, it-it-it looks...
That's you.
Answer it!
Hello.
- Turk.
- Just a moment, please.
- Can you believe this?
- He wants to talk to the Turk.
- That's you.
- That's me?
- That's you.
- I'm the Turk?
Look at you.
This is the Turk.
Okay, listen, Turk.
When this phone rings, you answer it.
- You understand?
- Yes, I answer it.
- You and you alone. Are we clear?
- Me and me alone, right.
Great. Now listen, you put
the package in the trash can
on the northwest corner of Fort
and Woodward in five minutes.
- Hello.
- So what did he say?
Something about a package
and a trash can.
Look, I have nothing to do
with this. I'm here for a convention.
I don't give a shit.
Now what trash can?
Fort and Woodward.
Whoa!
Take this package,
put it in that trash can,
and you can go.
I should point out
to you, sir,
that I am taking
a mental picture of you
just in case there's...
any... trouble.
Hey, you know what?
Th-this... this is not for you.
Who's it for?
Well, it's... it's,
uh, for somebody else.
- Who?
- Just someone.
- Someone you don't know.
- Try me.
No, I'm not trying you.
This is not garbage, okay?
This is business,
so just please
don't touch it.
All right,
give me the bag.
- Give me the bag.
- Oh, Jesus.
It's not your bag.
See what he's doing?
- He took my bag.
- Who is this guy?
- This bag is mine! It's not his.
- Damn!
Okay okay.
What is the matter with you?
- Just let me go. All right.
- Get up. Get up!
- Get in the car. Get in the car!
- I think we should...
We should look
for another can.
What the hell is
the matter with you?
I ask you to do one thing,
and you screw it up.
- Hello.
- What the hell's the matter with you?
I ask you to do one thing,
and you screw it up.
Yes, well, this was
not planned well.
No no, listen, Turk.
You know what?
You just bring the package
to First and Bagley
and wait there.
So what did he say now?
Hey, get back here!
Excuse me.
Now you pay.
Get off my car!
Get down! Oh man,
he's got a gun! Ah!
Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch!
Ow! Oh! Ow!
Oh, boy! Oh!
Ah! Ah!
Ow ow ow ow!
9-1-1.
What's your emergency?
- Yes, hello, I've been shot.
- Can you give me a location?
- I don't know. Downtown.
- Where downtown, sir?
A man in a black car
kidnapped me.
Do you have
a license plate number?
Yes, just give me
a second.
"347DNB." Hurry.
I just called 9-1-1,
- and you are in serious trouble.
- Get up.
- You shot me.
- I grazed you.
Well, that's still
shooting me!
- Watch your ass.
- Ow ow ow ow!
You could have
killed me back there.
If I wanted to kill you,
you'd be dead.
I wanted to graze you, you're grazed.
It was a training bullet.
Well, I'm bleeding, although you might
call it "training blood."
Here, use this.
Taco sauce?
Yes, it's a natural
antiseptic.
Sprinkle some of that on your ass
so you don't get an infection.
Yeah, well, I don't even
wanna know how you discovered that.
So what, you keep
this in your glove compartment and just
splash it on a salami sandwich
and then splash some on your behind?
Use it or don't use it.
It's your ass.
You got any guacamole in there?
I hear it makes a great cold compress.
- Just put it back!
- All right, I'll use it. I'll use it.
Don't you have
traffic to look at?
Oh, shit.
You gotta be kidding me.
Get out of the vehicle
with your hands in the air!
Get out of the car
and show me your hands!
Turn around!
Hands on your head!
- No no no no no, I'm not with him.
- Your hands!
I don't know him!
He just...
he... he...
he kidnapped me.
He took me
against my will.
He... look. You see?
He wanted to put
taco sauce on my butt.
The guy is nuts.
Nuts.
- Hands!
- Run my plates!
You! Back in the car.
- Your hands!
- You wanna see my hands?
Here.
Federal agent.
Run my plates!
- The car is federal, sir. A.T.F.
- That's right.
Federal agent.
Federal prisoner.
Back in the car!
You are interfering
with a federal investigation.
Move your asses!
That was fun.
Give this to him
and walk away.
Hey. If you try
to run this time,
I'm gonna put a bullet
in part of the ass you really need.
Ooh-ooh! Oh!
So you like the merch?
- The merch?
- The merch.
Well, you know,
there are days
that I like it
and days that I don't.
It depends.
I'm on the fence.
- Do you like the merchandise, Turk?
- Yes, I do...
like the merchandise.
I, uh...
thanks for asking.
So there's gonna be
20 grand in there, right?
In the bag.
Come on.
Good.
Good first step.
We'll be in touch.
And, uh,
one more thing, Turk...
No more fruitcake
stuff, okay?
- Sure.
- Good. Goodbye.
Get in the car.
- Why?
- I'm not done with you yet.
- You said I was done.
- I lied. I do that.
- Now get up. Get in the car.
- No.
Get up!
Hey... don't make me
chase you.
I'm tell...
- Hey!
- Stop!
Stop! Help me!
- Hey!
- Help!
You're under arrest.
Hands on the car.
On the car!
Who the hell
is this guy?
Run that.
He's international.
- Ow!
- Watch your head.
Okay, that's it.
I am writing a letter.
- Number 3.
- Number 3.
Three, step forward.
Three, that's you.
- That's him.
- You sure?
I'll never forget
that face.
- All right, thank you. You can go.
- Excuse me.
I'd like to speak
to whoever's in charge, please.
All right, number 3, stay.
The rest can go.
Thank you.
Boy, sometimes you
just have to speak up.
- Are you in charge here?
- Yes, I am.
Oh, boy, have I been waiting
to talk to you.
- Really?
- My name is Andy Fiddler.
I'm in dental supply sales,
and believe you me,
I never thought I'd be standing here
in a police station
- with a bullet wound in the keister.
- Hmm.
But I am extremely upset
with this man here,
and I must confess
with your whole operation in general,
because quite frankly,
I have nothing to do with any of this.
Well, that's not what
it looks like, Mr. Keister.
The weapon you used
in the diner,
stolen from A.T.F.'s vault.
The gun you're robbing
the cashier with.
Oh, no no no no.
No no, there's no robbing.
I'm not robbing.
You see, although I can certainly see
how you'd get
that impression.
We also got a red notice
from Interpol when we ran your name.
There's an outstanding
warrant for your arrest.
- What?
- Istanbul, Turkey ring any bells?
Oh. Oh, yes.
It does ring some bells,
and believe it or not, there is
a perfectly reasonable explanation
for that, and you will
find it very funny,
- 'cause it's quite a story.
- Tell it on the way.
- Place your left hand here.
- So I took the family to Europe
in the summer of '98, and one
of our stops was Istanbul, in Turkey...
a must-see
if you've never been.
- Anyhoo, my wife has this thing about...
- Yo, Vann, phone call.
...Persian rugs.
Okay, I'm not a complainer,
but that officer
was very abusive.
I mean, not only was
he physically violent,
but... but more disturbing to me,
he... he was just rude.
- Vann.
- Your daughter wants to know
if you're coming
to her recital tonight.
Oh you know,
I can't.
Uh, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
Um, I gotta go.
Would you tell her for me?
You need to tell her.
So when we got back
to the hotel,
we discovered
the rug is too big for the suitcase.
So we decided
to leave the rug at the hotel
to be sent to us
when we got back home.
Turn right.
So we finally get home,
but we never got the rug.
Long story short,
we get a letter from the hotel
that said the rug had
been seized at Customs.
Now evidently
this rug had been stolen.
It was a 1,000-year-old
prayer rug,
and... and it was stolen,
but how was I to know?
I didn't know, and I'm the one
that's out $230.
Yeah, it was all very innocent,
as I'm sure
- you can now understand.
- I see.
- Lock him up.
- What?
- Let's go.
- What?
- Let's go.
- Get him out of here!
What? Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
- This way.
- I have done nothing wrong!
- Come on. Move it.
- I have... l... l...
I haven't...
I haven't done anything!
Yo, this is the number
to this phone.
I want you to put
a trace on it.
I want the owner and an address.
Call me when you got it.
Okay.
Lieu, you looking
for me?
Explain the Wisconsin kid.
I set up a buy with the bad guys,
he got in the middle of it,
- now they think he's me.
- So you're telling me
- the guns are still in play.
- Yeah.
- How do you know this isn't a setup?
- With this guy?
- Yeah, with this guy.
- Not with this guy.
Okay, where is he?
He's in holding,
and he's gonna stay there.
Yes, Ma'am.
Shit.
They ate him already.
Caucasian gentlemen.
Big glasses.
Oh yeah, didn't have
the heart to put him in there.
Ah-ah!
Thank you.
- Come on.
- So, am I free to go now?
Go? Oh, hell no.
They're fixing a shit sandwich upstairs,
and you're
the mayonnaise.
Possession of a stolen weapon,
armed robbery and the Turkish
government wants
to have a little chat
with you before we're done.
Okay, I want to talk
to an attorney.
I get one phone call,
and I want to call an attorney.
Let me lay your options
out for you here...
You can come with me
as a Suspect Who's Cooperating,
or you can stay here
and get married tonight.
- So what's it gonna be?
- Okay, just so we're clear...
I am not choosing
to go with you.
I'm choosing
not to stay with them.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
Lag escort, first-time
session.
Hang on.
This is one
screwed up crew.
All right, just so
there's no confusion, here's the deal...
You're in my world now,
not yours.
And in my world, your responsibilities
begin and end with me.
And what would those
responsibilities be?
Well, these guys think you wanna
buy guns from them.
I need you to meet 'em one more time
and set up a buy,
- so I can bust their ass.
- Okay, I am developing a slight phobia
about meeting these guys.
The whole meeting thing, quite frankly,
is getting irritating.
I have to be honest.
Look, I have done everything
you've asked me to do.
Why can't I go?
What does any
of this have to do with me?
Because every time
these guys meet somebody new,
they're on the lookout
for the Man.
And you most certainly
do not look like the Man.
Oh, I don't look
like the Man.
Well, thank you, because
that clears up absolutely nothing.
Who... who is the Man?
The heat, the pig,
the po-po, 5-0,
the undercover agent
that's gonna bust their ass.
You're such a white bread son
of a bitch, these assholes trust you.
Well, you know,
people do trust me.
- That's not a compliment, shit stain.
- Okay, you know what?
Why do you swear so much?
Do you think it makes you sound tougher
when you just swear
all the time?
- Fuck you.
- Okay, that's good. That's really good.
Really classy. You know,
I could go around all day saying,
"F-U. F this
and F that
and F-ing this,
you mother-F-er."
But I don't because there has
to be some civility in the world.
Incidentally, there is a trick
you can use to curb that habit.
Every time you feel like saying
the "F" word, just go ahead and say it,
and then add,
"Crying out loud."
Fuck crying out loud.
Fuck crying out loud.
Fuck crying out loud.
And before you know it, you're saying,
"Oh, for crying out loud."
Let's see here.
- Oh, boy. Well...
- You did make her a promise.
You always break
your promises to her.
You want your daughter growing up
like you, not trusting anybody?
- That's not the point.
- It's exactly the point.
No, it's not.
You promised her you'd be
at her recital tonight.
Something came up.
You know, my little girl's a ballerina too,
and she's exactly your age.
- Really?
- Yeah,
I help her
with her pirouettes all the time.
That's not
what this is about.
This is about
you not wanting to go
- because her stepdad's gonna be there.
- Oh.
Is he dancing tonight, too?
And with the right
feet positioning...
there you go,
okay. Well!
Yeah, that's good.
Daddy, can Andy come
with you tonight?
Um...
Look, honey...
Daddy can't come tonight.
I'm sorry.
But I promise I will be there
next time. I swear.
I'm gonna make it up to you.
Oh, fuck...
crying out loud.
Hold on.
Look, Daddy's
gotta go, okay?
Go ahead.
Goodbye.
It was very nice
meeting you, Kate.
- You too.
- So what you got?
- The owner of that phone?
- Yeah.
- It's Cortez. Manny Cortez.
- Who?
- Katie.
- Thanks.
Come inside,
sweetheart.
Hang on.
Cortez's is back elevator,
second floor.
Oh, shit.
- Don't get up.
- You scared me, man.
What are you still
doing here, Cortez?
You were supposed to meet us
at the warehouse over three hours ago.
Do you mind?
I'm, uh...
I'm in the middle
of something here.
I truly don't care.
Hey, look. There's too much heat
on those guns, all right?
I mean, you killed a cop.
That was not in the deal.
Yeah, well,
he became a problem.
Listen, we got
the merchandise.
You need
to pay us for it.
I'm out, all right?
- I cannot do shit with those guns.
- You know what, Cortez?
That's your problem.
You got the money or not?
Find another buyer,
all right?
And you know what?
I suggest you get out of town
as quickly as possible.
Hey. Yo.
Close the door on your way out.
Sure.
Well, I guess that just leaves
the Turk.
I guess so.
Well, you've got
a very nice family.
You've just got
a wonderful daughter
- and a lovely wife.
- Ex-wife.
Ex-wife, yes, well, she seems
like a very nice person.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so... so...
so it just didn't work out, huh?
Well, whatever.
- Would you like to see my family?
- No!
Well, I would like
to see my family.
This is my oldest...
Hannah, she's 12.
I'm trying to get her interested
in the dental equipment game,
but I guess at that age, you know,
it's just not cool yet.
This is my little
ballerina right here.
And this is my wife Susan,
holding our newest addition... Emily.
Just turned 2.
Already talking a mile a minute.
Just talk talk talk
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
talk talk talk.
A regular little chatterbox.
- I wonder who she got that from.
- I think she got it from me.
- You think?
- Oh...
Well, I am, uh... I'm sorry
about your... situation.
What situation
would that be?
Well, you've got
people who love you,
and yet you seem
like a very sad and lonely man.
- I'm not lonely.
- Well, I think you're lonely.
- I'm not lonely.
- Fine, you're not lonely. You're alone.
Yes, I'm alone,
but I'm not lonely.
It's two different things.
Does the expression
"No man is an island" ring any bells?
Does the expression
"Shut your ass up" ring any bells?
What now?
I have to go visit
a friend of mine.
- Can I go with you?
- No.
Oh, well, I would
really like to go with you.
Look, everybody
in this neighborhood knows my ride.
- Nobody messes with it.
- Okay.
- # Big booty bitches, well... #
- Oh!
# Like to dutch,
another one bites the dust... #
Cortez.
Manny, where you at?
You hiding
under the bed again?
Woo! Manny.
- A.T.F.
- Yeah, this is Vann.
Would you send a bag wagon over
to Manny Cortez's place?
- The gun dealer?
- Yeah, he took the deluxe cruise
up shit's creek...
compliments
of a.45 to the chest.
No.
Hey! Hey!
Good afternoon.
Out of the car.
- Oh! Oh! Oh-ah!
- Whoa! What are you doing?
Ooh.
- Oh!
- Hey!
This was not a good idea.
Oh boy! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Drives pretty good.
You idiot! Moron!
Well, you left the keys
in the ignition.
Not the smartest thing
to do for a policeman.
This would be a good time
for you to be quiet.
I know that's nearly
impossible for you,
but if I hear the sound
of your voice right now,
I can't be responsible
for my actions.
So this would be
a very good time for you to shut up!
I have a small question.
I still have a question,
and I think I'm entitled...
What?
Do you have a plan?
What the hell
is that supposed to mean?
If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail.
Just a little constructive
criticism, okay?
That's how two people
working together help ea...
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
We're not working together,
so get that thought out of your mind.
Nobody said
- we were working together.
- Excuse me.
You dragged me
into this,
and I'm giving a speech
at 10:00 A.M. Tomorrow,
so the sooner you start
treating me like a partner...
Hey!
We are not partners.
Ain't no way in the world
that can happen.
Well, what am I
then? Hmm?
What are you?
You are my bitch,
that's what...
my own personal bitch.
I pulled you out
of lockup as an S.W.C.,
which means "Suspect
Who's Cooperating,"
which means
I own your ass,
which means
when I pull the strings, you dance.
Till then, you sit there,
keep your mouth shut
and don't say a word
like the puppet you are.
Hey, yo, Booty.
Hey, Booty,
what's up, man?
Let's go, come on.
- Pass the ball, yo.
- What up?
Booty!
Oh damn, man!
Hey! Come on, man!
Ah! Ah... ah... hey!
Booty, we never
finished our conversation.
Man, I told you
everything I know, man!
I will cheese-grate
your ass through this fence.
Oh, come on, dawg.
Look, I don't know no more! Wha... ah!
All right, all right, all right!
Shit, all right!
Would you get that phone book
over there for me?
- Who's this guy?
- Man, I don't know his name.
Look, would you get
your car out of my ass, please...
- Thank you.
...dawg. Ow!
Now who are those guys
you hooked me up with?
- I need names.
- Man, they gonna kill me, dawg!
- They gonna kill my whole family!
- Names!
- Ow!
- Hey, just give him the name.
- Give him the name.
- Name!
- Look, I can't!
- Just... just let's have a name.
- Look, I can't! Ow!
- You know what?
Make up a name!
Give him something!
- Look, there's no name here.
- No, they'll kill me.
He doesn't have
the name, uh...
Look, all right, all right! Look,
the dude in the picture, his name is...
- Joey Trent, man.
- Good, good name. That's a good name.
- That's a good name.
- No no no, that's... that's a real name!
- All right, keep talking.
- Look, I didn't know nothing
- about no cop getting killed.
- Yeah, right.
- Well, who's Joey's boss?
- I don't know.
Some dude
from out of town.
- Then give me an out of town name!
- I don't know his name, man!
- Oh, shit! Uhn!
- I'm out of it. I'm out of it.
Look, the dude's
named Kane!
The crew boss name is Kane, man.
Now that's all I know,
other than he have a bad rep.
Dawg, look,
- I swear on my Moms on that.
- Who hooked you up with Joey?
Man, Cortez, dawg.
Ooh, not a good sign.
Cortez is dead.
Man.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Okay.
Well, that was him.
You lucked out, Holmes,
but we will continue this conversation.
- Shut up, man.
- Oh, and, Booty...
watch your ass.
Man, you broke
my gold tooth, dawg!
- Where we going?
- Uh, Lucky's Bar and Grill in one hour.
- Is that all he said?
- No. No, there was something else.
- What did he say? What did he say?
- You're not gonna like it.
- You're gonna get mad.
- Tell me what he said.
- He wants me to bring money. A lot.
- How much? How much?
- Look, I'm just the messenger.
- How much money?
- Half a million dollars.
- What?
- I know. It was a heart-thumper.
- Shit!
- Where we going?
- My ATM.
- Yo, Santos.
- Thank God.
I need that
20 grand back.
I.A. Wants to look
at my books.
I need some more.
Are you out of your mind?
You think there's any way in hell
I'm gonna give you
another $20,000?
I need a half mil.
It's just show and tell.
I'll have it back in an hour.
Go away.
Santos, open up.
I got something to tell you.
- What?
- Open up and I'll tell you.
What?
Look, here's the thing.
You give me the half mil, I bust
the bad guys and make this right.
You don't, you lose
the 20 grand,
and you take a shit bath
for coming up short.
At least this way, you do what I ask,
you got a shot.
Why you doing this
to me?
You trusted me.
Come on.
- I'm hungry.
- You'll live.
No, no, no.
L... l... I'm really hungry.
- Come on, man.
- No, my blood sugar is low,
and I'm feeling faint.
I haven't eaten all day.
- I would like some food.
- Okay, I'll get you a burger.
- I would rather have something else.
- It's a tasty burger.
Red meat...
quite often
doesn't agree with me.
Am I gonna make it
to my speech tomorrow morning?
I don't know, man.
That ain't a priority to me.
You know what?
You're not
a very nice person.
You don't care about anyone,
you don't trust anyone.
Trust can
get you dead.
"Trust can
get you dead."
Well, there's not
one person
- in this world that you trust?
- Nope.
- Your mother?
- Oh, hell, no.
How can you not
trust your mother?
- She could be playing me.
- How can a person
go through life
like that?
Hey, at least
I'm honest about it.
What, you trust
everybody you meet?
I give everybody
the benefit of the doubt, yes.
And what happens
when they screw you over?
Who's gonna screw me over?
What, do you think people are
just waiting to screw people over?
You think the world
is one big screw-over?
I couldn't live my life like that.
I never met anyone
I wasn't friends
with eventually.
Well, I never met anyone whose ass
I didn't kick eventually.
Well, you must
be very proud.
Guns and shooting
and kicking ass.
You know, problems can be
solved without ever touching a gun.
Situation: You're walking
down the street with your wife,
a guy comes up out of nowhere,
grabs you from behind,
puts a gun to your wife's head.
What do you do?
- Bite him.
- Bite him?
Do you have any idea
how powerful the human bite is?
The masseter muscles
in the jaw
can exert 600 pounds
of pressure per inch,
and I'm not even
discussing bacteria.
Masseter muscles?
- It's Latin.
- It's bullshit.
Come on, finish this shit.
Let's go.
You can afford this,
right?
You all right?
I told you I have
a problem with red meat.
You've gotta admit that was
a good burger, though, right?
You sure
you're all right?
Yeah, it doesn't
last long.
Oh! Oh oh, damn!
Let the window down!
Oh, it's just a little flatulence.
Oh, "a little flatulence"?
An elephant could
take a shit in the back seat,
- and it wouldn't smell that bad.
- Can we just let it go?
Oh oh!
Oh, man!
Oh!
Oh!
All right,
let's do this.
This is real simple.
Show 'em the cash,
get a time and a place,
and you're back at the hotel giving
your speech tomorrow.
Uh, quick question.
Uh, you can't just go in there
and arrest him
because why?
I want his boss
and the guns in the same place
at the same time.
That's what this dance is all about.
Here, now go.
Remember, this is
strictly flash cash.
Show it to him,
close the bag, bring it back.
Now what if something
goes wrong?
- Nothing will go wrong.
- Yeah, but what if it does?
- Nothing will go wrong.
- Uh, yeah, but what if it does?
What if something goes wrong
and the deal doesn't happen?
I'm gonna be doing this
for the rest of my life!
Nothing will go wrong.
Hey, remember...
time and a place.
A time and a place.
Oh! Son of a bitch!
Hello.
- Ah! Excuse me.
- Hey, just checking for a wire, mate.
- Okay.
- Oh, you're good.
- Well?
- Yes.
- Born lucky. Yeah, am I good?
- Okay.
Oh, I would think.
I would think. Okay.
Great.
Good.
Now...
all we need is
a time and a place,
and we have
ourselves a deal.
And we have ourselves
a little problem.
What?
Nobody...
nobody comes up
with half a million
dollars in cash in an hour.
So you tell me...
who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
- Businessman, right.
And what kind of business
is that exactly?
What business?
I provide quality
precision tools
to professionals
who demand the very best.
Period.
Now are we
gonna do business?
Look, Turk.
I need to speak
to my boss.
Well, why am I talking
to you, Joey?
How do you
know my name?
Because...
I know your name.
L... I know names.
Let's just say
I was born lucky, okay?
You're lucky, huh?
And another thing,
from now on I only talk to Kane.
Look, Turk, you know,
l... I can't just go and tell Kane
he should walk away
from a deal he already has in place
just 'cause some guy
that he doesn't know
flashes some cash at me.
You understand?
Keep the money.
I don't care about the money.
You think I care about the money?
Don't care about it.
I can get money.
Just consider that a good faith deposit.
And you tell Kane
there's a lot more where that came from,
but only if he stops
wasting my time.
Oh, one more thing.
From now on...
I call you.
- Comprende?
- Comprende.
Excuse me.
- Where's the money?
- I gave it to him.
I told him I'd call him
with a time and a place,
and I walked out!
You should have seen it!
You gave a half million dollars
in cash
- to some gun-running killers?
- Correct.
Goddamn you!
Asshole!
Son of a bitch!
I've never seen anyone
that pissed off before.
- Okay.
- God damn it!
You said nothing unexpected
would happen, and guess what...
something unexpected
happened!
What's to stop them
from taking my money and running?!
Because they know they'd be giving up
a lot more where that came from.
He was about to walk.
I had to change the game plan,
- so I'm... I'm now calling the shots.
- Oh, so you in charge now?
- I am indeed.
- You the Man!
Yes. I am the Man.
Well, what are we
supposed to do now, Man?
Well, I think we just
let them stew for awhile.
You know what I mean?
And then we call them
- in, you know, a couple of hours.
- Well, what do we do
in the meantime, man?
We go
to your daughter's recital.
Oh no.
- Daddy!
- Hey, star.
I knew you'd come.
Thanks for reminding me
about tonight.
That's the first time
I've heard you say thank you
in a long time.
- I'm sorry.
- "Thank you" and "I'm sorry"?
I think your new partner
is a good influence.
- You have no idea.
- Andy, this is Mark.
- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Vann.
- Mark.
Well, we better go.
- Come on, Katie.
- Come on. Come on, baby.
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye, honey.
- Can I say something?
- No.
I think you're still
in love with her.
And if you don't get
over this,
you may lose the other
woman in your life.
Just a thought.
- You were so pretty.
- Well, Barney Bunny
should be in the bottom
dresser drawer, honey,
because that's
his very own bed. Oh.
Oh, good, sweetheart,
don't you feel better?
Okay, honey,
is Mommy there?
Hi, Susan. Oh, no no,
things are fine, yeah.
Yeah, convention's
going great great great.
You know, I'm...
I'm the Man.
Yes, I'm going to be home
tomorrow night,
so I'll, uh...
I'll see you then.
I love you too, hon.
Bye.
Thanks.
Why don't we go ahead
and do this thing
- so you can get back to your family?
- Really?
Just do this one thing,
and you're done.
Okay. Question:
When you say "done,"
do you mean "done" as in finished,
as in no more,
nothing else, "done"?
Make the call.
I've a question.
Um, isn't it normal
to have, uh... you know,
some... some kind of backup, uh,
for a situation
like this?
- I didn't hear you call for any backup.
- That's right.
- Oh.
- Here we go.
My hands are sweaty.
Just be the Man.
Who's this?
Well, I came to meet
your associate.
- This is my associate.
- Well, you know what?
- He looks like a cop.
- He does.
He does look like a cop,
but he is most definitely not a cop,
so let's put that to bed
right here and now.
- So like I said, Turk, who is he?
- Who is he?
He's, uh... my bitch.
Your bitch?
He's my own personal bitch.
Hey, bitch, come here.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
I pull the strings,
and he dances.
Is that right?
You his bitch?
Why don't you
answer the man?
You can talk, bitch.
I want to hear
you say it.
Who's my bitch?
- I am.
- I didn't hear that. Did you hear that?
- No.
- I couldn't hear anything.
We can't hear.
Who's my bitch?
- I'm his bitch.
- Attaboy.
All right,
well, get in... bitch.
Why don't you get
in the back, bitch?
- Crotch-grabbing time?
- Yeah yeah, we'll take care of it.
- Get in.
- All right.
- So where's your guy?
- He's here.
- Where?
- You're looking at him, asshole.
I am Kane.
Eh, you can still call me Joey,
I answer to both.
The real question is... who are you?
I'm the man with the money.
Better yet,
I'm the only man with the money.
There's just one small
problem, money man.
- What's that?
- I think you're a cop.
Oh. Yeah, I am.
- Huh.
- My name is Vann. Wade was my partner.
I've been tracking what he was doing
from the very beginning.
Could have busted him,
you, your whole gang,
but I was waiting
for the right time.
I want in.
It's true.
He's A.T.F.
- So you knew about the heist, huh?
- Hell, yeah.
Think I don't know
what my partner's doing?
How do I know you're not here to settle
the score for your dead partner?
Please. He played
in the rain; he got wet.
So you just wait for your moment
and this is it?
I can take the heat off you
from the inside and I can move the guns.
You know I got the money,
'cause my man here
just gave you that half million dollars
like it wasn't nothing.
You're not the only one
with connections, Agent Vann.
- I have a buyer.
- You had a buyer.
Manny Cortez. Unfortunately,
somebody put a.45 slug in him.
The same kinda bullet they
took out of my partner, Wade.
Now, some people might
call that a coincidence,
but I don't believe
in coincidences. Do you?
Not really.
See, I figured you'd
take my deal over Manny's
because you're greedy.
But now I see you're
just plain desperate.
You're stuck with a truckload
of guns and no buyer.
So what's it
gonna be, Joey... Kane?
You've got it all figured out,
haven't you, Agent Vann?
We'll see.
Let's go.
Enjoy your swim, ladies.
Tell me you didn't
pee in the pool.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
We gonna make
a deal with this cop?
Get in. Vin.
Go. Now.
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Yeah.
You can go back to the world
of dental supply.
Oh, ho-ho yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, if you want to show up tomorrow,
you know, I can make it happen.
No, I'm still in the middle
of this thing.
Oh, yeah yeah
yeah, well, sure.
Ah, just a thought.
It's been interesting.
Yeah, well...
Hey, maybe next time
I'm in town, I'll look you up.
Or not.
It doesn't, uh...
D... boy.
I hate
these long goodbyes.
So, uh...
Well... see you later.
- Yeah, you take it easy.
- Okay.
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Oh, you killed them!
- You killed, Andy.
- You think? Yes!
- Oh! Yes?
- Mr. Fiddler.
Come with us.
- Where are you taking me?
- Watch your head.
He said I was done.
Uh, what is going on?
We're hoping you might
tell us, Mr. Fiddler.
Look, I don't know
who you people think I am.
We know exactly who you are.
What we don't know
is how a guy like you
could go so wrong so fast.
Here you are meeting
a gun runner from overseas
name of Joey Trent.
And here you are
doing the 411
with Hector Babcock,
a.k.a. Booty,
a gun dealer who we just
found in the trunk of his own car.
You've been running
with a rough crowd,
but you might be confused
about who the real bad guy is...
Agent Derrick Vann,
your new best friend.
He's the one that put the bullet
through Booty's head.
Oh, no.
- He wouldn't do that.
- No?
- No.
- Check out Manuel Cortez.
Another gun dealer
Vann paid a visit to.
Last but not least,
his own partner,
or ex-partner
I should say.
So you have
a dead A.T.F. Agent,
a dead snitch
and a dead gun runner.
The only connection?
Agent Vann.
Yeah, well, l-l...
I don't believe that.
Why not? 'Cause he's
such a nice guy?
Why do you think
he never called for backup?
He didn't
want cops around.
I don't know anything.
L... l...
- That's bullshit!
- I don't know anything!
That's bullshit!
You're up to your neck in it, pal.
- What do you want from me?
- You're gonna wear a wire
and get Vann to admit
he was in on the heist
and he killed his partner.
- Oh, is that all?
- You don't have a choice.
Really? What if I just
say "No, thank you"?
Then the U.S.
Department of Justice
will take
a giant shit on you.
H... how very pleasant.
Believe me, Mr. Fiddler,
your best option
is to go along with this
S.W.C., that's "Suspect..."
"Suspect Who's Cooperating."
I know, I've been that.
It, uh, didn't
work out too well.
Uh, let me get this straight.
You sprung him from holding,
gave him half a million dollars,
then you let him go?
The guy's a salesman
from out of town.
Oh, really? You think
it was a coincidence
that he showed up
at exactly the right place
at exactly the right
time in the diner?
I don't believe in coincidence.
For all you know,
- he could be an undercover I.A. Agent.
- Did you ever check him for a wire?
I didn't have to. The guy was
scared shitless half the time.
I can't believe that you
of all people bought his story,
Mr. L-Don't-Trust-Nobody.
How'd you get
so stupid so fast?
Now they got you
tied to the heist,
your partner's murder
and your snitch.
Booty's dead.
Remember, this guy
is a stone killer,
if he senses anything wrong,
he'll toe-tag your ass.
I just need
to get a sound check.
- You want me to say something?
- Good, I got it.
- Good, I got it.
- I got it.
- I got it.
- Hey. Hey, I said I got it.
I don't think I can do this.
Just do this one thing
for us and you're done.
Okay, you know what?
You guys have got to stop saying that.
The guy helped
me set up a buy
that's gonna go
down any time now.
What I need from you
is an assault unit to back me up.
Forget it. I want your badge
and your gun. You're on suspension.
Bullshit.
Your badge
and your gun now!
- You're serious?
- I'm trying to protect you.
We got a dead agent on our hands
and I can't account for one damn thing
you've done
for the past 24 hours,
except lose a lot of money and make
best friends with the I.A. Agent
who's gonna
bust your ass.
And that look
does not scare me.
I am one inch away.
An inch too far, okay?
Gun and badge.
You're wrong.
The guy's at a convention
right now, giving a speech.
Really? Then who's
that standing behind you?
Guess who?
- What the hell are you doing here?
- I knew you were gonna ask.
I, uh, just
finished my speech,
and I had a little
time before my flight
and thought I would
just stop by and see how you're doing.
Chit-chat?
Is... is there some place
we can talk?
- Yeah?
- Avenue A, warehouse three, right now.
Don't forget the money.
Why don't we, um,
talk in my car? Come on.
In the car?
We're going to the car.
Over.
Mission one, vehicle
leaving Michigan and First.
Okay, I read you,
Air Support.
Stay above audible range
but don't lose them.
Uh, copy that.
So, where are we headed?
- Do you want to get a smoothie?
- We're going to see our old friends.
Oh. Well, I've got
a 5:00 flight,
so l... I don't know
whether I'll have time to...
- Hey, you wanted to chit-chat?
- Yes, I do.
- So, let's chit-chat.
- Okay, good.
- So, how you doing?
- Good.
You wired?
Yes. Yes, I am wired.
I'm, uh, you know,
white-knuckle flier,
l... I get
pre-flight anxiety.
So, I get... I get very anxious
before a flight.
I didn't think it showed.
- So, I guess you got your money.
- No, I didn't.
Did you call for backup?
Do I ever
called for backup?
No.
You think I'm dirty.
- You tell me.
- I ain't telling you shit,
- you I.A. Piece of crap.
- What?!
Thought you had me played, didn't you?
Feeding me all that bullshit
- this whole time.
- I've been feeding you bullshit?
That's right.
Bullshit!
Oh, now, you wait
just one minute, mister!
You shot me,
you dragged me all over town,
you used me to set up
your dirty deals.
Hey, I've got
news for you, homie,
I'm not your
bitch anymore!
Now, I want the truth
and I want it now.
I think you're involved
and I think you killed Booty.
Aw, shit!
He just blew it.
- I killed Booty?
- I said, "I think you killed Booty."
How the hell
did you even know Booty was dead?
Exactly, how would I know?
I would not know. I wouldn't know,
so I could not be
more wrong on that point.
Let's do this, gentlemen.
- Mmm.
- Inside.
The target is stopped,
the deal's going down now.
They told me to get
a confession from you.
I know.
Shall we?
Down!
Shots fired,
repeat, shots fired!
Get me an assault team!
- Get out.
- We're gonna die. We're gonna die.
Hey hey!
Just calm down.
- We are not going to die.
- Oh!
- Trust me.
- Trust you.
There are the guns,
where's my money?
Let me ask you something.
Did he say I was his bitch
or his dumb bitch?
You think I'm just gonna roll
in here with a truckload of cash
so you can take it from me and kill me?
I look that stupid?
Well, just in case you are,
I'll speak real slow.
If you don't have two and a half million
dollars in your car,
you're both gonna die.
Right now.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah, why's that?
'Cause we brought company.
You son of a bitch.
- You're under arrest.
- That's a cue.
What's my assault team's ETA?
I need 'em here now.
So, tell me...
which one of you Spice Girls
- blew my partner away?
- That would be me.
So, I guess that makes you
Scary Spice.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Gentlemen, let's not
lose our heads here.
'Cause we all have people
we want to see again.
I have a family.
And you have a daughter,
I'm sure you have someone.
- I have no one.
- Well, let me finish.
You have someone not in the traditional
sense of having someone...
Well, fucking now
I have you.
I have got to learn
to stop talking.
- Now back off!
- Or what?
- Do I really need to say it?
- You shoot him; I shoot you.
Better yet,
this gun can put a hole
through both of you.
- You won't do that.
- Wanna bet?
You won't shoot
your friend.
Ah, yes, he would
and he did,
- but I hope he won't.
- Shut up.
Nigel, take his gun.
Now, you give your gun to Nigel
and you get on your knees slowly.
Let it go.
You're alone, Agent Vann.
It might appear
that way,
but my man Masseter's
got my back.
- Who?
- Mr. Masseter.
Latin dude.
600 pounds of power.
Nice try.
See, now I'm gonna
count to three,
and if you don't give
your gun to Nigel
and get on your knees,
I'm gonna put a bullet
between your eyes.
One, two...
Three!
Ah! Oh!
Move in now, go!
Go! Go!
Oh!
Ah! Oh! Oh!
- SWAT team! Don't move!
- Shit!
Go! Go! Go!
Are you alive?
Oh! Are you hit?
- Yeah.
- Where?
In my ass.
In your ass?
Let me take a look.
Oh, shit!
Get off me!
I'll get
the taco sauce.
- All right. Easy.
- On your face! Get down! Now!
- All right, let's go!
- Watch your right! Watch your right!
Can I assume
that Agent Vann
has been cleared
by Internal Affairs now?
No, not so fast. I want
to see every penny of that money.
Heads up.
How about now,
you bean-counting moron?
Look, I appreciate
the ride, I really do,
but I think I can get
on a plane by myself.
Yeah, I'm sure you can,
but I just want to see
it with my own eyes.
The white zone
is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
There is no parking.
Tell me I didn't hear
what I think I just heard.
It's really nothing,
l... uh, I wouldn't worry about it.
- It's nothing.
- Did you eat lunch
- when you went back to the hotel?
- I had some lunch.
What did you have
for lunch exactly?
- I had a sandwich.
- What kind of sandwich?
Steak sandwich.
Shit! You rotten-ass
son of a bitch!
- Oh my.
- Sisters.
Oh... woo! Woo!
Oh, sweet Jesus!
This is the boarding call...
Right through,
please, sir.
You're fine.
Sir, right through.
Uh...
Um, sir, could you
come with me, please?
On the mat, please.
Arms straight out.
That's it, thank you.
Huh.
Uh...
Is there something
in your butt, sir?
Yeah. A bullet.
It's permanently
lodged in my ass
that I received
in the line of duty,
- saving his ass.
- I can vouch for that.
I'm gonna have to ask you
to step behind the screen, please, sir.
I'm gonna need to get
a cavity search team, please.
Oh, hell, no!
That ain't happening!
- No no no no no no.
- Sir, uh, you cannot step
- past this point...
- Don't worry.
I am never going
past this point.
See what you done?
I can't even leave town now.
Sorry.
Well, I guess
I should get going.
You say goodbye to your beautiful
little ballerina for me.
Mmm. Tell yours
I said hello too.
Oh.
- Well...
- Whoa whoa, hey hey!
- Let's not and say we did.
- Okie-doke.
Told you I never met anyone
I wasn't friends with eventually.
Bye, Vann.
Andy.
- Cavity search team?
- Yes, sir.
Where the hell
you guys been?
Guy's getting away.
Grey plaid suit,
brown bag.
Hurry!
Sir! Excuse me, sir!
Sir! Excuse me, sir!
# All right... #
Yeah yeah, we, uh, need
to perform a cavity search, please.
- What? What?
- Yeah, just this way.
Who's my bitch?
- Uh, it'll just take a few minutes.
- I have done nothing wrong!
# It's your thing #
# Do what
you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what
you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# Since yay-high,
spend little all day #
# Mama's first born
cooked corn #
# So I guess
I'll command this kernel #
# External broadcast,
tune your receiver #
# Internal thoughts
is cold, behold #
# It's a strong-eyed vision,
I'll interfere your sight #
# Build blocks on your map
and play the pipe #
# Perched on rooftops,
I'm the bird-man #
# Singin' that song
of freedom #
# Fists balled tight
"Joe Fras-ing" your phrases #
# Fantasia, Mickey Mouse raps...
what's happenin'? #
# Re-runnin' 86 like 86 #
# Gazelles and overweight
laces and kicks #
# Traces of flicks
pose like statues #
- # Hey, you're doing it girl #
- # God bless your "ha-choos"#
- # I can't tell you #
- # How to shake your tattoos #
- # They gotta do you #
- # It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# Do what you wanna do #
# I can't tell you #
# Who to sock it to #
# It's your thing #
# All right #
# All right #
# You best believe I used to weave 'em,
I'm telling them dames, y'all #
- # Y'all just fish #
- # And the water that claims y'all #
# I used to do it all
so I'm not gonna refuse #
# To view the ball
in the hands of a player #
# Play on, slayer,
get slayed #
# I just want a piece that I
can manage like Mr. Kincaid #
# Men paid for what
you swallowed from out of the glass #
# I'm from outta the mass...
- # Eastern side of Long Island #
- # Stylin' wild #
# My profile ain't to buy drinks
but try drinks #
# Placed in front of me
by throwing charm your way #
# What? #
# My profile's
not the verily dashing #
# You ain't trying
to come with me #
# But if you want
to have fun with me #
# With these j-hats
I'll promise I'll enter wise #
# Won't be mad if right
after you hop from star to starlet #
# I'm all up
in your enterprise #
# It's your #
# It's your thang,
yeah #
# Gotcha #
# It's your #
# It's your thang,
yeah #
# It's your #
- # Gotcha #
- # It's your thang #
# Yeah #
# I gotcha. #