The Many Saints of Newark (2021) Movie Script
Nam etsi ambulavero
in medio umbrae mortis,
non timebo mala, quoniam tu mecum es.
Virga tua et baculus tuus
ipsa me consolata sunt.
She was furious with me,
because if I had my law degree,
I could have represented us.
The jury ruled against me.
I told my lawyer I considered suicide.
I drove home from Nyack, and guess what?
She had left me.
I recall almost a sigh of relief...
Somehow it made a lasting
impression on her life.
My first child came easy enough.
But with Patricia,
they had to open me up
under anesthesia.
I've often thought that
perhaps the reason...
I told them when I got here,
"Okay, I explored
the criminal lifestyle."
But I was an altar boy,
for Christ's sake.
Moltisanti is a religious name.
And still I'm fucked.
I met death on Route 23,
not too far from here.
But that was much later.
Back in 1967,
the man wearing the hat
was my father.
In those days, he didn't have a son.
Five dollars says I spot him first.
I don't got five dollars.
Then you better win,
gagootz. Huh?
Uncle Dick, think fast.
Oh, you want to fight, huh?
The little fat kid
is my uncle, Tony. Soprano.
You got nothing.
Well, we call him my uncle, by marriage.
He choked me to death.
There! Pay up.
We have a winner, ladies and gents.
Huh?
My grandfather and his brother were with
the DiMeo crime family in Newark.
My grandfather was an associate,
-but he stacked more scharol...
-Pop!
...than any of the made guys.
Hey, there he is!
Including a Cadillac dealership.
Cara mia, fammi presentare
mio figlio, Richard Moltisanti.
Everybody calls me Dickie.
Welcome to America.
Benvenuta.
Most guys 65
go to Europe on vacation,
they come back with the gout.
You come back with the winner,
Miss Provolone, 1967.
Oh. Antonio Soprano.
U picceri.
After he murdered me,
Tony gave my wife and baby
his pocket change.
But that was much later.
E squisita.
I'm embarrassed.
You're all such
great cooks over there.
Can you translate for me?
Forget it.
She understands enough.
Giuseppina,
what does your family
do over there?
Mio padre...
The fascists killed her old man.
Her mother never recovered.
Fuckin' Mussolini.
I don't get it.
When I was a kid,
you and Vito Genovese
always praised Mussolini.
Let's not talk politics at the table.
But I'll tell you, Dick,
it's paradise over there.
On the one hand,
you can't believe the beauty.
On the other hand,
they don't even have toilets.
I told Giuseppina that
"you're gonna live the life
of a proud American lady.
And I'm gonna have
my second set of children
with you."
And they'll be deluged with a life
that they could never even
imagine over there.
Like you were, Dick, as a kid.
These'll be your brothers and sisters.
So... Giuseppina
is your stepmother, Dickie.
Yeah.
It wasn't me who ripped you off!
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Come on!
-Shit!
-Harold.
All right, already.
This punk ass snapper.
Japped one of our runners,
took 600 bucks.
I want a full bag tomorrow.
Who the fuck are you?
The guy who one time
put out somebody's eye
for talkin' to him like that.
You winded there, Jesse Owens?
I gotta quit smoking.
I agree.
Can't I get you to switch to Newports?
Hey, Harold.
My son here say
he gonna be Hank Aaron when he grown up.
I'm gonna hit 318 like him.
Hmm. 318,
your lucky number, boy,
play it.
Yeah. Numbers
is the only chance.
Black folks got
to get out of
this sinkhole city.
How does that work, anyway?
Well, you pick out three numbers,
like for you, 3-1-8.
You bet a quarter,
and if your numbers
come on at the racetrack,
then you win $125 for a quarter.
-For a quarter?
-Mmm.
Bet a dollar, you get $500.
-You shitting me, Harold?
-Uh!
What if my numbers don't come out?
Well, if your
numbers don't hit,
you don't get nothing.
Harold collects
everybody's bets
and gives it to the Man.
How you think the Italians
drive those long, fancy cars
and wear those diamond
Swiss watches on their wrists?
Thank you. Thank you,
everybody, welcome.
-Uh...
Well, mostly, I...
I just want to say how pr...
Knock it off, Anthony.
I want to say how proud I am
of my big girl, Janice...
who is today...
a woman.
Cheers!
You know, Janice, she, uh...
She went to her catechism.
She practiced her Latin.
She even stopped
watching those two stunods,
Sonny and Cher,
long enough to think about God, huh?
Too much fucking salt on this.
At least for a minute or two,
but... boy, did she cost me.
You know, I made a bet that, uh,
Janice would not do her religious duties.
But if Janice did,
you know, got confirmed...
I'd shave off my mustache.
Ooh...
-Enjoy.
-His comare told him
it makes him look like Robert Goulet.
This stuff ain't so authentic.
Ow!
Just use your fork.
But, you know, the gravy's good.
-Oh. Come here.
-Your daughter's confirmation.
Congrats, skip.
I'm here, too, Mr. Handsome.
Yeah, and looking like a million dollars.
And not Mexican dollars, either.
What are you talking about?
Same fucking gang.
Colored kids hit
one of my colored runners.
Threw him a beating.
You believe this?
How these people
prey on their own?
Hey, Boot DiMeo's gonna
rag on me when he sees this.
It looks bad too, perception-wise.
Even the papers say
the numbers is the biggest
percentage of our cash flow.
Junior's right, you gotta get
your arms around this.
You got big ears there, gagootz?
Big brother,
go and get yourself
some Pez.
Silvio, Puss, come here.
-Marone!
-Oh!
Ah? The second
Mrs. Hollywood Dick.
I was just explaining
to His Holiness, here.
I think I went to school
with your father.
Calogero Dante.
"Butch."
He said you were a bully.
Whoa, what do we got here?
The Italian actress,
Sophia Lotsa-Pizza.
Get out of here, you fucking mutt!
Uh... Sorry.
Buddha. It's Joe D.
He's up at the Boot's Mansion.
Mr. DiMaggio. Come stai?
Your saints name
you took in church today,
Apollonia?
She's the patron saint of dentists.
Take it from me,
chains are more effective
than snow tires.
Why didn't you bring the missus, Dick?
I tried, but the poor kid's
self-conscious about
her English.
She's making progress, though.
I didn't catch the name.
Pussy.
Don't worry, Father,
it's not what you think it is.
This is my dog.
This is my dog.
This is your dog.
This is your dog.
Your dog.
Buddy Durham in the light trunks...
the white trunks.
Durham has always been known
as a counter-puncher...
Huh...
He gets a great hook in there.
Hey.
What did you learn to say?
This... is... his... ball.
Whose ball?
Spot.
Oh, I think this is a waste of money.
We hear from Hoboken's
own Chairman of the Board.
Hi, there, my name
is Francis Albert Sinatra
and I got news for you.
Here's your host,
William B. Williams.
My mother met
his mother once. Frank.
Frank? He grabbed me
to go to some party once.
It was on the Upper East Side,
it was a penthouse.
Some celebrity, I don't know who.
So... he and Dean, they have
this donkey brought downstairs
to the basement.
And the donkey's just stuffed
full of laxatives, right?
So they put it in the private elevator.
They send
the private elevator up,
the door opens,
and the donkey starts kicking
and shitting over everybody
in the party!
Oh!
Ah, your sister's cunt!
Junior, it's the Summer of Love.
It's just a line to you.
And never seemed so right before...
Nice car.
You a friend of Dickie's?
No English.
Oh!
Hopalong Che Si Dice!
It's fucking light again?
Picked up from
most of the runners,
but this kid, Overall...
Who the fuck is Overall?
He's a crazy young motherfucker
that runs the Saints.
Leon Overall.
He's from East Orange.
My cousin's, uh,
the placekicker over
at the high school over there.
Yeah, well me and Harold
played East Orange
Thanksgiving game.
We used to beat 'em every fucking year.
You should have seen this man run.
Are you sure you don't
got no Black blood?
That's Sicilians.
I'm Napoletano.
Oh! I'm Siciliano.
Come on. Come over here.
The big picture, you told me
this thing was over
with the Black Saints.
I know, I...
thought I schooled the kid,
Overall, when I whupped him,
but...
He's got a wild hair across his ass.
I gotta know, Harold...
aren't you humiliated
by what you just said?
I know I would be.
You're a grown man.
Fucking punk street gang?
Come on in, son. Have a seat.
I think we lost him.
Hold up. Hold up. Turn around.
Would I for sure
be going to Vietnam?
Like my dream?
You heard about the G.I. Bill?
Yeah, college. Sure.
Thinking about being a...
-scientist.
-Hmm.
Wait over there.
No, this... this war
wasn't my idea!
Isola, turn that light out.
I'm trying to sleep.
That's why I brought you a 7 and 7, baby.
What's the matter with you?
Goddamn Gentleman Dickie Moltisanti.
Always comes to me
to handle his nasty work.
Done made you his house nigga.
Put it away.
The army won't take me now.
I always wanted to join up, but I...
I had two felony convictions.
Take you?
Happened to stop by
a recruiting office today,
and it made me remember.
Brothers doing
all the dying over there.
We don't need no more.
Well, somebody's gonna to win
the Medal of Honor.
Not a Black man.
Please.
Ooh, baby, you are a riot tonight.
Make a right here.
It's a one-way.
Fuck it, make the right.
Fuck.
Step out of the car.
I know what I did, Officer.
With your sigh.
Oh!
Hey, why aren't they home,
sleeping till noon?
Two officers picked up
some colored taxi driver,
had to rough him up a little.
These morons think we killed him.
It spread around
the Central Ward that way.
They broke windows
up and down Belmont Avenue.
They're throwing bricks
and bottles at us.
We got two officers
had to go to the hospital.
- No shit.
You ain't nothin' without that badge!
You think this is funny?
For a day...
Get the fuck away from the car!
And she kissed me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it for
our host tonight.
They call him Gentleman Dick Moltisanti.
Ahh!
Paulie.
This?
It's about time.
Pinto the Butcher
sent over some capuzzelle.
The fuck happen to you?
There's something you gotta see.
What the fuck?
That's Belmont Avenue.
You wanna get smart now?
Ma vaffanculo!
Why don't you go after the ditsoon, huh?
They almost burned the city down.
Oh, you'll hold the door, huh.
Daddy!
-Janice, go home!
-Daddy!
Go home!
Take the bus.
Hey, stop! Stop!
-Agh!
- Anthony!
Anthony! What are
you doing here?
My God!
What did they do?
We raided a card game, but we got lucky.
Picked up your husband
on an outstanding warrant.
Had to take 'em somewhere.
Warrant? For what?
Assault with a deadly weapon.
The Lobster Trap Restaurant?
That wasn't him.
He didn't do that.
Where is he?
Downtown.
He's downtown,
where he might get
burned to death?
What are you people thinking?
Janice, shut up with that!
What were the two of you doing
at that card game?
Dad took Janice
to ride the rides
while he played cards.
But he wouldn't take me
because I passed gas
while he was eating lunch.
Get inside, both of you!
Anthony!
Standing in the ruins
Of another Black man's life.
Or flying through the valley
Separating day and night
"I am death," cried the vulture.
"For the people of the night."
In a wilderness of heartbreak
And a desert of despair.
Evil's clarion of justice
Shrieks a cry of naked terror.
Taking babies from their mommas
Leaving grief beyond compare.
Please help me! Help me!
Please, help me!
So if you see
the vulture coming
Flying circles in your mind.
-Remember, there is no escaping.
For he will follow close behind.
Only promise me a battle.
Battle for your soul and mine.
And mine.
Talk to young Negro men on the street
and they will tell you, they say,
they're supposed to go away
and die for this country
that isn't really theirs?
This tells you
right there that for
understandable reasons,
they don't consider themselves
complete Americans.
And I don't say this
comprises all of them,
but it's obvious the reason
they can burn their
own homes...
Huge fire.
Ashes.
Thought I heard somebody fall.
You fall this morning?
I tripped in the bathtub.
Oh.
You shouldn't
wear your sunglasses
in the tub, you know?
He's got a temper.
arrabbiato, my father.
He start to yell.
Yeah, he wasn't like this back in Ariano?
'Cause he used to...
me, as a kid.
Every day.
I should have stayed there.
No.
Maybe I come to America
for America money.
But...
But here, in America, he become...
Uno stronzo!
I think maybe you still love him.
What's the matter with you?
My wife's right inside.
You're my father's wife.
Oh.
Where are you going?
I'm going down to Rexall.
The doc switched
my blood thinner.
I'll ride with you.
What?
How high did she bounce?
What are you talking about?
When you threw her down the stairs.
Got two left feet.
'Cause you used to throw
my mother down the stairs.
I didn't like it then,
I don't like it now.
Well, some women
like the rough stuff.
Don't ask me why.
Yeah, it's funny how
they're all attracted to
Hollywood Dick Moltisanti.
You wanted to get into her fucking pants
since the day I brought her over.
I give you permission
to picture her while
you're jerking off.
I promise you,
you hurt her again,
you're going down the stairs.
-Who the fuck do you think
you're fucking talking to?
-You got away with it
once with Mom.
But I was a little kid.
You're not getting away with it again.
Oh, I marry sluts.
What do I know?
Ow! Hey! Get...
Get your fucking...
Get off me!
Hey! Hey!
Dick...
Pop.
Pop?
Uncle Dickie.
Anthony, what the fuck are you doing?
The city's burning down.
Over on Springfield Avenue.
Dickie? Who blew the horn?
I'm working on the car.
You want pork chops tonight?
Yeah, that's fine.
Can I watch you work on the car?
With the applesauce?
I don't know what sauce!
I gotta go out for a while.
Can I?
Can you what?
Watch.
What the fuck did I
just say, God damn it?
Now, go home!
...from the newsroom.
American warplanes
have expanded the air war
over North Vietnam
with the bombing of five
previously untouched targets
near the heart of
the port city of Haiphong.
Four of the new targets,
one of them only a mile
and a half from Haiphong...
Democratic Majority Leader Mike Mansfield
-sounded a warning tonight...
-Go ahead, sir.
He's white.
A love-in there
of San Francisco...
Three guesses who they blame this on.
The Harlem Globetrotters.
Shh.
They called him Hollywood Dick.
Imagine what he looks like now.
Tell Ma what you told me, about the bird.
There was a bird in the garage.
So?
It means somebody's gonna die.
You're talking through your hat.
A bird would never
fly into a garage
to announce a death.
A house is another matter.
Poor Dickie.
I still can't believe it.
I gotta talk to Johnny Soprano,
the putrescible trash routes.
The Sposato Brothers are making a grab.
You didn't hear?
Johnny's gonna be
a guest of the government.
He couldn't make bail.
When my brother's away,
everything goes through me.
You got diarrhea?
Comedian.
The three C's I owe you.
What the fuck is this?
It's supposed to be cash.
That's an RCA.
What am I gonna do with this?
What a blow.
Yeah, well,
at least you still got
your brother. I'm...
Yeah. I got nobody.
Dickie, consider me your
brother from now on, huh?
Where's your brother?
He went to see if he could
sneak into the room
where they do the bodies.
In Newark tonight,
state troopers
and the National Guard
ceased...
You son of a bitch.
You can't watch television in here.
Vincent, it's the news.
...President Johnson,
we've been told,
has been following the situation...
Ah, they're never gonna
catch those bastards.
I told the cops.
In the dull
and commonplace occurrences
of day-to-day living,
one thing stands out
as a completely unique
experience: Colt .45.
Jesus Christ.
The fuck's the matter with you?
You have
no respect for my father,
you fucking animals!
He's dead!
Looks like the riots
are ending though, Dick,
that's good news.
I wish that the shooter killed you!
All of you!
John Francis Soprano.
On the charge of assault
with a deadly weapon,
I hereby sentence you
to no more than five
and no less than two years
in Rahway State Prison.
Uncle Sally.
I'm Dickie, your brother Dick's boy.
How are you?
You know, I'm sorry,
I know I never came
to visit you before.
My father wouldn't allow it.
I came to tell you...
your brother, my dad...
he passed.
They burned him up in the riots.
I brought you some sfogliatelle.
I don't eat dairy.
Oh.
Well, you being out here isolated,
out of contact with the family,
my old man said you deserved it,
but I want to do whatever I can
to help you from now.
It wasn't right how they treated you.
I was 25.
I murdered a made guy in our own family.
I'm here for a good reason.
You don't need to help me.
But...
What do you want, Richard?
I'll be honest with you.
I want to do a good deed.
Huh!
A what?
A good deed.
Miles.
Birth of the Cool.
What?
It's a record.
I'm a jazz nut.
Bring me a copy next time you come.
If you come.
-Quant'e bella!
-S?
It's so beautiful.
We're gonna go down to Bamberger's.
We're gonna fill
the place with furniture.
Madonna mia.
Mmm.
Could you give us a few minutes?
You got it.
Aunt Concetta says
you've been looking for a job.
At, uh, DiLorenzo Brothers Beauty Parlor.
I cut hair back in Ariano.
You don't need to do that.
I want to keep taking care of you.
But I like to work, Dickie.
And America has so many work.
Un giorno, I want to have
my own beauty parlor.
Well, you're not gonna work
for those two fanooks.
The DiLorenzos?
Motherfucker.
-I like that word.
Motherfucker.
Eighteen. Paul's birthday.
We don't take Beatle birthdays.
We'd go broke.
Fuck it. Make it eight.
Micky Dolenz.
I dreamed about
Whitey Ford last night.
He wears number 16.
The boys
basketball team is playing
St. Stephen's this afternoon.
The high temperature today
will be 53 degrees.
Faculty advisory,
absentees: 16.
Sixteen, I hit the number!
You gotta talk to him.
-Johnny should do it.
-You're the only one
he listens to.
Johnny should do it.
You're gonna see him
visiting day.
- Side door's open.
Johnny's just gonna want to hit him,
and he can't because of
the glass partition
and he's just gonna get frustrated.
-Hey, Jun'.
-I got some
Lady Schick blow dryers.
Livia, take one for yourself.
One for Janice.
I got bigger problems than blow dryers.
Anthony got kicked out of school.
Let me go talk to him.
I promised Johnny
I'd take care of Tony
while he was in jail.
The way you talk, you just confuse him.
He only listens to Dickie.
Ma vaffanculo.
Jun', leave me a blower for Joanne.
What are you reading?
Oh, can't you read a regular comic?
You know, Superman, Jughead.
It's about some Jewish girl and a knight.
And Robin Hood's in it.
I didn't know they had Jews
back in the Middle Ages.
Well... the Bible.
Anyway, your mother
asked me to talk to you, so...
What, about getting
suspended from school?
Hey, put that down, huh?
Sorry.
You know I don't like to
lean on you about stuff.
But you can't start
a gambling operation
at school.
I know that...
now.
Hey, don't bullshit me.
You always knew it.
And it's not
just the gambling.
It's everything.
The cherry bombs at the YMCA,
letting the air out of
Mrs. Russo's tires...
-I apologized to her!
-You talk big about
wanting to be
on the football team
in high school
and you're smoking
already? Oh!
You gotta have a better attitude.
With your father gone,
your mother's got
a lot on her plate.
You gotta be good.
I don't want to go through this again.
I try to be good.
I don't think so.
Try harder.
Pinky swear?
Jesus.
Hey, you don't talk to me like that.
See, you're not listening.
Fine. Pinky swear.
All right.
One time I went to Playland...
I saw the cops shoot a friend
of my dad's right in the back.
Yeah, Chickie Sasso.
He still can't move
his bowels like normal.
I don't want that to happen to me.
And it won't, gagootz.
Not while I'm around.
We're gonna see that it don't.
Junior. Junior.
Where's Candy tonight?
Migraine.
Again with the migraine.
Keep a close eye on that one.
She keeps disappearing,
she's probably fucking some
Tom, Dick and Harry.
Found a new gravy train.
A guy checks into a hotel,
calls up the front desk,
"I got a leak in the sink."
Clerk says, "Go ahead.
Customer's always right."
Yeah, that was funnier when
Henny Youngman told it.
No, no, don't... Don't.
Just leave it the way it is.
I wonder what the origin
of the sobriquet
"gravy train" is.
They named it after the dog food.
I don't know about you, Junior.
Guy tells you your girlfriend's
banging somebody else,
you're worried about
the origin of "gravy train"?
Oh!
Oh, smile, my brother.
White flight.
Oh!
It's Hopalong Che Si Dice.
Whatever the fuck that means.
Hey! Language.
There's ladies here.
What can I get you?
Bartender's special tonight,
for the ladies: Pink Squirrel.
Courvoisier and Coke.
Water back.
That what they drink on the plantation?
Oh, you didn't hear?
We're off the plantation.
We got wops digging ditches
since they come over.
Hey, come on.
It's Dickie's business.
Let it go, Paulie.
What the fuck's the matter with you?
You got a murder warrant over your head.
I'm heading down south.
North Carolina.
So where's your mule?
Get going.
Thing is, I need to borrow some money.
-How much?
-A grand.
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna give you
five C's. Yeah?
It's my gift to you.
You don't gotta give it back.
No, I want to pay you back.
Ah, it's better this way.
You don't gotta be afraid
to say hello to me,
I don't gotta chase you down.
Won't come between us.
So I guess this is goodbye.
Yeah, you said your goodbye, so go.
You don't stare
at those people.
They don't like it.
Brought you that record you wanted.
Plus, a couple others I picked out.
What's this?
Al Hirt. Trumpet.
He's on Carson all the time.
It's not jazz. Take it back.
These, too.
So...
you did your good deed.
Well, don't put it like that.
I plan to do a lot more.
Your poor father, huh?
He goes down to board up
that Atta Boy business
that he had...
and he dies in that horrible way.
It's just weird, though.
What, weird?
My brother's hands were soft.
Like a baby's pishadeel.
Always with the manicures, your father.
Yeah, what's your point?
He never touched a hammer
or a board in his life.
What's your problem?
Well, for one thing...
my wife, she can't get pregnant.
You know, it takes a toll.
I want a son so bad.
What would you do?
It's the wanting.
Huh?
The Buddhist will tell you:
"All life is pain."
Pain comes from always wanting things.
A son is not a thing.
It's the wanting.
You know, Tone, we could
still run that numbers game
down at the fucking CYO.
I got fucking suspended,
I can't get in fucking
trouble again.
No. Fucking school
will never know.
I want to make it to the NFL someday.
For that, I gotta go to college.
So I gotta watch my fucking ass.
My old man
told me I gotta run his fucking
restaurant when I grow up.
What does your old man say?
He says
I gotta fucking rob
your old man's restaurant.
Do you know who I'd wanna be?
Your Uncle Dickie.
How he fucking dresses.
He said he'd give me $500
if I graduate from
fucking high school.
Fuck, man.
Of circular time?
Has got you in its sway
has got you in its sway.
The '60s ended.
Neil Young gave that
speech from the moon.
Then came the RICO statutes
around when I was born.
I wish I had come before that.
Hey, Uncle Dick.
They're gonna be here soon.
We gotta get inside and hide.
Hey, Anthony,
you go see
Dirty Harry like I told you?
"You gotta ask yourself,
do you feel lucky?"
"Well, do you, punk?"
Madonna.
It's that old fig tree,
in 'Lino's backyard.
-Nothing changes.
-Yeah.
Nothing changes?
That's... that's
Poupette's house.
-What are you mad at me for?
-Ah, you...
Mother...
How did you let this happen?
Oh, what do you want from me, Johnny?
I had plenty on my shoulders
taking care of things
while you were in the joint.
Yeah.
Raising Anthony. The disaster
with the Electricians Union.
-Ah!
-Your wife with the cramps.
Boo-hoo-hoo!
Look at Dickie Moltisanti.
His father gets whacked, he steps up.
Takes care of his family,
takes care of all the business.
Not a peep out of him.
He's younger than you.
Yeah.
- Surprise!
-Jesus Christ.
-There he is.
All I want to do is
bang my goomar,
go to sleep.
-Hey.
-Good to see you.
-Hey, Paulie,
how's your ma, huh?
-Much better.
Johnny.
Hey, baby, how are you?
Come here.
Did the surprise work?
You know, I'll tell you
what surprised me.
You got shiners on the block, huh?
Oh, look at you.
Not a pound.
He's just a regular Charlton Heston.
You come, you visit...
But you don't tell me
they moved in.
On my street.
He's a doctor.
-A doctor.
-He's not operating on me.
You gotta berate me
in front of everybody?
Ah, Jesus.
You know, just like always.
Ah, va' a Napoli.
Come on.
Hi, Dad.
What do you got on?
Go upstairs, right now,
put on some decent clothes.
Johnny, it's what
they're wearing nowadays.
Go do what I said, Janice.
Sweetie. You recognize
your daddy, pumpkin?
Yeah. That's it. Yeah.
What's the matter with you?
Go give your father
a proper hello. Stunod!
Come here.
I missed you, Dad.
I missed you too, kid.
You know, I made your
favorite pizza gain.
Even though it's not Easter.
I got everybody together.
I dressed up.
And you spit on it all, on me!
I didn't invite the coloreds
onto the block!
Here we go.
Livia,
give him a break.
He just did four years.
I did four years!
I missed your baked ziti, baby.
I put extra veal bones in
with the sausage.
How about you, chooch?
You gonna be a linebacker, huh?
Coach says I'm gonna be starting.
He don't have the makings
of a varsity athlete.
It was up to me,
you wouldn't be
playing at all,
but you went ahead
and you forged
my signature.
Nah, relax.
He's not gonna get hurt.
Here he is.
Fresh from his nap.
-Joanne, Joanne...
-Yeah?
He hasn't met Johnny.
Aw.
Wow.
Johnny, this is our Christopher.
Hello,
Christopher Moltisanti.
It's your Uncle Johnny.
I'm back from England.
-Go with your daddy.
-Come here.
Oh! Bambolino!
Finally, huh?
Corrado, right?
Got myself a son.
Hi.
I hear he's slow with the talking.
Hi, Christopher, hello!
-Oh!
What's the matter?
Don't cry. It's only me,
-your Uncle Tony.
-Oh!
-What's wrong.
Cootchie-coo!
- Oh! Oh!
Okay. All right. All right.
You know, every time
you're near him
he cries like this.
I didn't do anything.
What happened?
It's okay.
Look at that.
I don't know what it is,
it's like I scare him
or something.
Some babies, when they
come into the world,
know all kinds of things
from the other side.
Night descends As the sun's light ends.
And Black comes back, to blend again.
-Wake up, nigga.
-Yes!
And with the death of the sun.
Wake up.
Night and blackness become one.
Wake up.
-Blackness being you.
-Wake up, nigga.
Peeping through the red
The white, and the blue.
Dreaming of bars, Black civilizations.
That once flourished and grew.
-Wake up, nigga.
-Hey!
Wake up, niggas, or y'all through!
He's right. He's right.
Drowning in the puddles
Of the white man's spit.
Wake up.
As you pause for some drawers.
-In the midst of shit.
-Wake up.
And ain't got nothing
to save your funky-ass with.
-Wake up, nigga.
-You cool, fool.
Sipping on a menthol cigarette
'round midnight.
-Wake up.
-Rapping about how
the Big Apple is outta sight.
-Wake up.
-When you
ain't never had a bite.
Wake up.
Who are you fooling?
Me, you?
Wake up, niggas, or we're all through!
- Yeah! Yeah!
That's some inspirational shit.
Even the speeches.
This decides me.
Know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna start my own book.
You're gonna do what?
We're gonna start...
first Black numbers bank
in the Central Ward.
Nigga, you talking
about facing down
the motherfucking mafia.
Frank Lucas will be my backer.
He's got money up his ass from the skag.
You know the Dope King?
Down home.
Country boys.
This ain't Greensboro, North Cackalacky.
The Italians got soldiers over there.
Okay?
That's what they call 'em.
What... what's the matter,
you ain't no soldier?
Never thought about myself that way, no.
Well, think about it.
Right. "He's got a gun,"
you think, "and I haven't."
You figure it's the gun.
Well, listen, soldier.
Thousands of guys got guns,
but there's only one
Johnny Rocco!
How do you account for it?
Well,
he knows what he wants.
Don't you, Rocco?
-Sure.
-What's that?
Tell him, Rocco.
Well, I want, uh...
He wants more.
Don't you, Rocco?
Yeah, that's it. More.
That's right, I want more.
Here. Why don't you buy
you and your friends
some of those...
McDonald's.
-The burgers?
-Yeah.
You, do you know what you want?
Yes, and I had hopes once, but...
Hopes for what?
A world in which
there's no place
for Johnny Rocco.
Okay, soldier, you can
make your hopes come true.
But you gotta die for it.
See where I'm aiming?
Right at your belly.
Go ahead, shoot.
-Your turn, Daddy.
-All right.
Hey, Hopalong Che Si Dice.
Oh, fuck.
How's it going, Harold?
Cyril, how's your ass?
How you doing, son?
I'm taking my nephew to the Yankees game.
Is something funny back there?
Sorry, Uncle Dick.
No, really, I'm sorry!
You fuckstick.
I heard your ass was back in Jersey.
You still got that warrant
over your head?
Lead detective died.
Nobody gives a shit.
Leon Overall had been a white boy,
it'd be a whole different story.
Hey, Harold,
how 'bout you come around,
talk to me over here.
When are you gonna come back
and work for me again?
Got stuff of my own percolating.
While you're waiting for
that Maxwell House to boil...
Hey, how much he give you?
Like I'm a fucking Pullman porter.
Man, it's $100.
I need to see the lease.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Due per cento increase every year.
Six and a half years still.
Right?
-I like.
-Yeah.
It's Dionne Warwick.
Comes from right over here
in South Orange.
I love Dionne Warwick.
Me, too.
I wonder where she gets her hair done.
Probably some fancy place
in Beverly Hills.
I bet she pays $100.
Oof! Marone!
I should move to Beverly's Hill.
Where'd you learn to do hair?
I learned from mia mamma.
-Mmm.
-My...
She had a chair in the front room.
Women would come, and I sweep up.
And I watch.
Oh, how wonderful.
But that's not the life I want for me.
-Mmm.
-Over there,
you get old so fast.
Ten children and a big, black dress.
You know, over there,
I wanted to be a priest.
-You mean "nun."
-No, no, priest.
Nuns have to do what they told.
The priest is the boss. Capo.
So you never tried the convent, huh?
Not for me.
I could not stand the silence.
No male.
No, yeah.
You wind up doing... push-ups
in the asparagus garden.
You know?
What's so funny?
Nuns.
Yeah. They weren't so funny
when they were hitting me
with a ruler.
First thing you gotta do
is look at the lease.
Is that, uh, the lease?
We already look at the lease.
It's good.
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna
look it over.
Two percent increase a year,
six years still remaining.
There's just one thing
I want to make better.
Oh, yeah?
-New sinks.
-Hmm.
Those are disgust.
We can do that, sure.
This is some fantastic salsicce.
Guarda basso.
I am worried about
the fucking boiler, though.
Looked like shit.
Inspector says it's fine.
Okay, okay. But the thing
about remodeling is,
you start with the sinks and then you go,
"We might as well
do this other thing
while we're at it."
It spins out of control.
Ah.
We don't want to be pouring
good money after bad.
Can you stop eating for one minute?
Finisci di mangiare poi stammi a sentire.
No capisce, but I'm all fuckin' ears.
So we're not going to buy it
for me, the beauty parlor?
All I'm saying,
I don't want us walking
into a stupid situation.
You think I'm stupid?
Oh, let me ask you,
what are you, on the rag?
Every time I say
something you don't like,
you ask me if I'm...
il marchese.
First you tell me
to find a store I can turn
into beauty parlor.
I do that.
You say it looks good.
Then you say,
"No, let's buy a place
already a beauty parlor."
I find this place.
Now the boiler!
Sweetheart, why are we arguing
about fucking plumbing?
I always want to do right by you!
You know, I love you!
Io ti voglio piu bene
di quanto tu ne vuoi a me,
lo vuoi capire o no?
You know I don't speak Italian!
Maybe you should learn!
Oh, where you going?
To put on a robe.
I'm cold.
Better hurry up.
Pot roast night.
Right. You know Wednesdays
I gotta go home.
And what are you getting so pissy about?
Why did I make the sausage?
To make me happy?
Because I love it?
But it's not as good as
Joanne's fucking pot roast.
Oh, you're digging at Joanne again.
I hate her.
Of course you do.
It's only natural.
Go home and eat.
I don't want the beauty salon.
No, vaffanculo.
Motherfucker!
You think you know everything!
Jackie, you drive stick?
-Fuck no.
-I do!
You drive.
Grab his arm, hold him down.
Fucking punks!
We're gonna get in
so much fucking trouble!
My father's gonna use the belt on me!
You little shit!
If anybody tells
anybody about this,
next time we use the belt.
Stand back,
Ah, don't worry 'bout me, babe.
Oh! Come here!
Free ice cream!
Here, here.
Get more of it.
Here, here.
Here you go.
Here you go.
How 'bout this one?
There you go, sweetheart.
That manicott at Vesuvio's is so rich.
How'd you hear
about them throwing
Mister Softee a beating?
His cousin Tony Blundetto told Janice.
I was down in the islands
when he pulled that shit.
If I was home, I'd have
given him a schiaffo
he'd never forget.
What's he want to be when he gets older?
Thinks he's gonna be a football player.
He's good.
I don't think
he's pro material.
What do you think, Dick?
Probably not. But who knows,
he puts on a few pounds,
four years of college ball...
He should go to work for my cousin Frank
in the patio furniture business.
Here we go with that tune.
So maybe he's not a ball player, but Li,
you don't wanna step on the kid's dream.
You always take his side.
Look, you give him
the best advice you can,
you lead by example,
he'll make the right decision.
This kid's got what it takes.
That's what I'm saying.
We all do things like that
when we're kids, right?
Beat up the Mister Softee man.
If my Christopher
grew up to be like Tony,
I'd be goddamn proud of him.
I told him the other day, I said,
"You play football
for a career,
it doesn't last long.
You wind up
an old crippled man
by the time you're 32."
Bobby Piocosta, he's a junior,
on Anthony's team.
He fractured his shoulder last week.
The mother was hysterical.
They had to take him to
a specialist at St. Barnabas.
You think the school's
gonna pay for that?
That's some Christmas present, huh?
Having your kid laid up.
He can't help outside,
hang the decorations.
He can't help shovel the walk...
Don't give me that look.
I though it will be different.
What?
Make love with a Black man.
Is it?
No.
It's all about Italian men, huh?
There's stories
about Dean Martin
and Rossano Brazzi,
how they're great lovers.
If you feed them.
Oh!
You gotta give Dickie his
meatballs and his noodles.
I'm Dickie's comare.
Dickie and his friends,
they like their women
to stay at home.
Don't go out.
Wait on them, hand and feet.
I'd stack my bread if you were my girl.
You want to have your own beauty parlor?
Knock yourself out.
I'd even back it.
You want your woman to work?
No, but I'd be real proud of her.
Owning a business.
My mama used to take in the washing.
I always respected her for that.
Dickie says colored men
don't have no head
for making money.
Well, that's what we're gonna find out.
You will not be able
to stay home brother!
Four, two, seven.
Box it for me?
You know, another nurse
hit the number last night.
Big time.
Damn. Who was it?
What do I know, it was
up in the First Ward.
It was, uh...
It was St. Michaels.
That jinxes it for me.
The revolution will not be brought to you
by the Schaefer Award Theatre.
And will not star Natalie Woods
and Steve McQueen
or Bullwinkle and Julia.
See, the law of averages say
you got the same chance
of hitting
as any two random people.
Yeah, but two people at the same time
don't have the same chance of winning.
That's the law of averages.
That's a fallacy,
Ms. Johnson.
It's all random.
You don't understand fate.
What do you got for me, professor?
See you tomorrow.
Tomorrow there'll be
a brother here for the pickup.
No more whitey's cut.
What the fuck, man?
The revolution will be live.
And this Black guy,
Harold McBrayer,
popped one of my guys.
He used to be a runner of mine.
We don't know who ordered it.
We can't find McBrayer.
So what do you want from me?
I was thinking maybe
you could ask in here.
Nation of Islam, talk to Alonzo Turner,
see if any of them knows anything.
I don't talk to people in here.
I mostly read all day.
How you doing on your merit badges?
I'm coaching a beep baseball team.
A who?
It's baseball. For blind kids.
Get the fuck outta here.
No, for real.
Run, run, run, come on!
Shortstop, left!
-Attaboy!
Way to go, Coach.
Our boys looked
sterling out there today.
Two, four, six, eight,
who do we appreciate?
Coach Moltisanti!
Coach Moltisanti!
You're a saint!
-Oh, shit!
-Gun!
Where's Harold?
In your mother's fat guinea ass.
You take that back!
Who put him up to it, Angelo Salerno?
Anthony Bello?
Chef Boyardee.
Come.
Put him on the table!
Pussy, grab his legs.
What are you gonna do, rotate my tires?
Dick, I just got this jacket.
You...
Open!
What about it?
Fuck you!
Stop for a minute!
God damn it!
Oh! I don't fucking...
So?
Harold! Harold McBrayer!
I asked you whose idea it was!
I told you! It was Harold!
Nobody put him up to it!
Oh.
The fucker acted on his own?
All right, Dickie.
- Go get it.
That fall,
Johnny moved to the suburbs,
the Black thing.
And he was seriously earning.
This move made
Tony half a pussy,
in my estimation.
What made you think it was a good idea
to steal the answers
to the geometry test?
I didn't study,
and, uh, I needed to pass,
so I could stay on the football team.
You know,
you got Charlie Nodzak in trouble, too,
when you paid him for the answers.
Well, he was the only kid
I knew on the mimeo squad.
Well, Charlie was on the honor roll.
And you're missing the point.
You know stealing the tests was wrong.
Yeah, I guess so.
But if you're gonna
kick me out of school,
I mean, you should just do it,
instead of us talking about it.
You talk a lot at home?
I don't know.
Well, your dad, for example,
what does he talk to you about?
The lawn.
What about the lawn?
I don't know,
he goes to Yankee Stadium
and he comes home and says
our lawn looks crummy.
What about your mother?
Is she someone
who likes to talk a lot?
I guess so.
Well...
what makes her happy?
Happy?
My mother?
Let's go, Anthony.
I wonder if I
could talk to you for a moment
alone, Mrs. Soprano?
Well, it's gonna have to be fast,
'cause I'm parked at the hydrant.
On the basis of the Stanford-Binet,
he's high IQ, but you know that.
You can't prove it by me.
He's got a D-plus average.
Well, that's because
he doesn't apply himself,
but he is smart.
There's a big difference
between a smart person
and a smart aleck.
I also administered
the Briggs-Myer personality
inventory just now,
and the results tell us, he's a leader.
"Enthusiastic,
insightful, playful."
Ah, you're talking through your hat.
He did tell me one thing
I'd like to share with you.
But it's gotta be fast,
because I'm still
at the hydrant.
Do you remember a children's book called.
-Sutter's Mill?
-No.
About the gold rush in California?
Yeah, maybe I do. Yeah?
He told me about a night
your husband was... away.
And you got in the bed
with Anthony and hugged him.
He said that?
No, his exact words were
you "snuggled up close."
Yeah. Yeah,
I remember that now.
You read to him from that book.
Long into the night, apparently.
He remembered details.
He didn't know the word "ingot,"
and you explained it to him.
He said it was one of his
best memories of his life.
Is that a hotel Bible?
I forget where I got it.
Baby, Cousin Cyril is dead.
You're supposed to do an hour.
It's an hour on, ten minutes off.
All of a sudden youse
two are only on 40 minutes
and then disappear.
We don't know where the fuck you are.
We're off somewhere thinking,
"What more can we do for
Gentleman Dick and Johnny?"
Don't get cute.
Where's Giuseppina tonight?
The movies with her girlfriend.
I would eat her shit.
Oh!
You don't talk about her that way.
In fact, you don't talk about her at all.
Hey, take it easy!
I love her. I love her!
Get down!
-Hey, asshole!
-Dickie!
Motherfucker!
Come on, you fucker.
Come here.
You like that, huh?
-How 'bout that?
-Come on,
you motherfuckers.
Fuck!
No, no, no! Frankie,
Frankie, Frankie! Frankie!
No!
You mother...
Shit!
Anthony, come eat!
There's my big boy.
Oh, cool, man, a hamburger.
I thought you'd like a change
from a mortadella sandwich.
I made it special for you.
You look nice.
Aw.
Me and Aunt Mary
are going to the city
to see No, No, Nanette.
What's that?
Broadway. A play.
Shoes are killing my bunions.
You should go see
Dr. Cuomo.
We don't go to him anymore.
We don't?
He said some very rude things to me.
Like what?
He wants me to take pills
for my sleeping.
And... and other things.
I'm not some lunatic.
No, but maybe some
medicine would be good.
Ah, you and your father.
Why don't you get in line
to blame me?
I wasn't blaming you,
I was just saying...
This new thing...
called Elavil.
For people who are sick in the head.
Of a mother's little helper.
What?
It's a song.
It's by the Stones.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
They're drug addicts.
I don't take drugs.
The song's not saying
that you take drugs, it's...
You smoking marijuana, I suppose?
Mom, I'm on the team.
Your sister is.
I'm almost sure of it.
-This hamburger's great, Mom.
It's really good.
-Agh!
Go on.
I went to all that trouble
just so we could have
a nice conversation for once,
and for what?
How am I supposed to enjoy
a Broadway show
with my children and their pot?
Ma, I don't smoke pot!
Well, your sister comes in here
smelling like a gypsy.
Well, I'm not my sister.
I'm always being accused.
Oh! Poor you!
Sempre, s, sempre problemi al cuore.
Don't look so blue, kid.
You and me'll cut out, go play catch.
It's raining.
...sa benedica,
gets put in the ground,
all they want to do is eat my food.
It's not an Irish wake, right, no food.
You get carried to your car.
Watch your step there, boss.
-How you doing?
-How you been?
Eckley, how's the boy?
Wonder what they talk about in there.
Uncle Dick, can I talk
to you for a minute?
What's up, Joe Cocker?
All right, I'm gonna wait in the car.
You help her? Help her.
Well, spit it out.
You ever heard of this?
Yeah, so, what about it?
Well, my mom's been in a bad mood lately.
The doctor said that
this medicine could help her,
but she won't take it.
So what do you want from me?
So I was thinking maybe
you could talk to her.
What about your old man?
Nah, she's not speaking to him.
He did something.
I see the way she looks at you.
Always sits next to you at dinners.
She bought you that
fur hat for Christmas.
I never wear it.
I mean... she looks up to you.
And maybe you could get her some.
You need a prescription.
I can't get it in my own name.
I know you can get anything.
Don't be a wise-ass.
I'm not, I'm just saying
it could make her happy.
Even Janice says.
Janice.
There's somebody we all
want to take advice from.
Anthony!
The pros play in the rain.
-Ah,
what are you doing, Jun'?
-Uncle Jun'!
Oh, Madonna mia!
Stay down. Don't move him!
Uncle Jun'!
I just said don't move him!
Your sister's cunt!
Corrado!
I'm calling an ambulance.
God damn it.
Here you go. Here you go.
-Take my hand.
-Cocksucker!
Or understand me
they all hand me.
These are Frank Sinatra, Jr.
Tickets for your uncle.
I gotta fly down to the dog track.
They boast a string of hits
that seems to have no end,
out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
the mighty Delfonics.
Hey, kid.
How's your rash?
Uncle Dickie around?
Hey.
Mezzanine?
What the fuck.
What?
That medicine.
Oh...
You nervous Nellie, I got stuff to do.
Hey, hey, come here.
I want to show you something.
Holy shit. JBLs.
A pair of them are yours to take home.
Yeah, well, they're hot.
Eh, fell off a truck.
Far out, man.
Oh!
Ten-inch woofers.
I want to go to college.
I can't get caught with shit like this.
Okay, my friend Hesh...
says only goys and children pay retail.
This isn't wholesale,
it's totally on the arm.
Look...
You want to be a civilian,
I appreciate that.
I'm all for it.
But pay attention to me for once, okay?
You take the speakers, right?
At the same time,
you promise yourself
these speakers are it.
Now, you say to yourself,
"This is the last time
I'm ever gonna
steal something."
And you stick to it.
It's that simple.
Maybe... Maybe
I should get on top.
Agh!
Fucking Dickie Moltisanti!
It's more than a month now!
For God's sake, Corrado.
He didn't push you
down the stairs,
you slipped.
He got a good laugh out of it, though.
Any excuse not to fuck.
They don't vote
the motherfucker
out of the White House,
somebody gonna assassinate his lying ass.
Azalea, you got it!
Say, hey!
There's my farm boy
from the Garden State.
-Where's my tomatoes?
Brought you collard greens.
Ah, now you talkin'.
Sit down.
Have a hot chocolate and Baileys.
So, we square?
Ooh, Chanel.
Small bills.
You're doing good.
Soon I'll be in
the stratosphere with you.
Call me Buzz Aldrin.
Well, Buzz, gonna hype you again.
State lottery's coming.
Your woman's not gonna be
wearing French footwear
very long.
Now, with smack,
you got white kids coming in
from Long Island, New Jersey,
Westchester to the East Village,
paying 30 bucks to
stick their arm in a hole.
Invisible person
on the other side
finds a vein,
shoots 'em up...
Should tell you something
about the future.
You make a good point.
We'll talk.
Thanks.
This week I gotta...
gotta do something about
this guinea motherfucker
or he'll do me.
Ah, DiMeo?
Nah, Dickie Moltisanti.
Controls the numbers,
whole rest of Newark.
You maybe need an assist on the play?
Why would you want to do that for me?
I got my own issues
with the Five Families.
I appreciate it, Frank, but...
Terms of the community.
I'd better do this myself.
Darryl.
Merry Christmas, Buzz.
In the slipstream
of your dream
steel rims crack
in the back roads stop.
I'm so hungry.
I got news.
That beauty parlor?
I took it over.
For me?
We'll be partners.
It'll be in my name, but you'll run it.
Exactly how you want it.
I'll be hands off.
In the slipstream
of your dream
in the back roads stop.
Hey,
what did the bartender say
when the horse came in?
"Why the long face?"
You told me that a million times.
Yeah, so?
Why the long face?
I'm all, uh...
intronata.
You're mixed up? Well,
what are you mixed up about?
So many things.
Ten minutes ago, you were
laughing like an idiot.
What did I do?
The beauty parlor.
The beaut...
I thought that's what you wanted.
More than anything.
But now we partners in business.
It's like a marriage.
I'm alone so much.
I get lonely.
Maybe you didn't love me anymore.
Hey, if I don't love you anymore,
you won't mistake it for a maybe.
Someone else came along.
I said yes.
Who?
Don't make me say.
What, you said,
"Yes, come fuck me?"
Is that what
you're trying to say?
What else, yes?
It didn't mean anything, Dickie.
-I love you!
-How many times?
I don't know.
You don't know?
So many times
you can't remember?
Who was he?
-I doesn't matter, it's over!
-Who was he?
-I can't!
-Tell me! Fucking tell me.
Promise you won't hurt him!
I don't promise anything,
but you don't tell me,
it's gonna be worse.
Harold.
You fucked that murdering nigger?
But I don't love him, Dickie!
I love you! Please! Don't!
No, please! No! No!
Ah!
A girl like you
a girl like you.
One thing I still miss at Christmas...
The Seven Fishes.
My wife used to make it.
And tripe, too.
She could make
those two things,
out of this world.
You celebrate Christmas
with your goomar,
or you stick around home?
What makes you ask?
I just remember,
with my girlfriend,
it was always a big argument.
She died.
So young.
What happened?
Pneumonia.
Pneumonia?
She had weak lungs,
from growing up
on the other side.
Fucked up doctors...
So much tragedy in your life.
Your father, your mistress...
I don't even have a picture of her.
You know, I... I try so hard.
What kind of God, huh?
I go to church when Joanne wants.
I try to set an example for my nephew,
I come see you...
I do all kinds of good things.
You know the Christmas song,
"My Favorite Things"?
Yeah.
Maybe some of the things
you choose to do...
aren't God's favorite.
What are you trying to say?
What do I know?
I'm a murderer.
As far as your nephew goes...
may I make a brief suggestion
for a nice Christmas present
you could give him?
I'm listening.
Stay out of his life.
It's damaged.
And you're out of line with your prices.
Who is this?
Hey, Uncle Dick, it's Tony.
How's it going?
There's a party tonight,
and I was wondering
if we could get
a couple cases
of Rolling Rock?
Uncle Dick?
Uncle Dick?
Hello?
There's something wrong with his phone.
Your ass. Same as last time.
It doesn't have to be Rolling Rock.
Does he know that?
It's not about the fucking name brand.
Carmela, you got a dime?
Hello?
Hey, Aunt Jo. It's Tony.
Can I speak to Uncle Dick?
I haven't seen him today.
Yeah?
Well, how's Christopher?
You know, the colic?
For my money,
you kids shouldn't be
drinking at your age.
Give me the goddamn phone.
Fuck. Hey, Joe Jerk-off.
What'd you say?
I said, hey, Joe Jerk...
Your sister's twat!
What?
Stop it!
Stop it!
What do you got for us?
It's what I told you,
furniture. Ethan Allen.
Dinette sets and, uh, TV trays.
TV trays?
I didn't argue.
-Mmm.
-Fucking truck's
not gonna unload itself.
I'll let him know.
Hey, Sil, I need to talk
to my Uncle Dickie.
He's not here.
His car's here.
Battery's dead.
You know where he is?
Who am I, Rand McNally?
Okay, well...
Merry Christmas, Sil.
You too, kid.
Carmine spotted Harold,
Rockhaven Motel,
down on 46th.
Well, we'll do it tomorrow.
I'll pick you up at 10:00
at the Pork Store.
It's the kid again.
I told him you're not here.
Turn the lights out.
But the guys, they're still unloading.
You know...
The fuck are you doing?
I don't want these!
Oh! That was a gift!
You take 'em!
I don't want any part of this!
None of it! I don't
want any part of this!
Huh?
What "this"?
What "this"?
Night, Dick.
Dick...
The kid. I don't know
what happened with you two.
But he worships you.
He's got so much potential.
Anthony, with that
loony tune of a mother.
Johnny, who's in line
for a personality transplant...
-What, I'm some kind
of example?
-What can I tell you?
You're his best shot.
Ah, I should never have let this happen.
Get in close.
Dick, he misses you.
What?
Nothing.
Actually...
that's it.
Nothing.
I'm not sure I follow.
Yeah, well.
Okay.
I know I shouldn't say this, but...
Anthony, he could end up somewhere.
Be on this thing of ours, even.
Tell him Holsten's, tomorrow.
-There you go.
-Let me finish,
for Christ's sake!
9:00 a.m. No later.
This is good.
Okay.
-It's all right, but it...
-Okay!
It's over, go home.
The fuck am I doing?
This one's yours.
Help!
My God!
Mrs. Moltisanti!
Yeah?
It's done.
To Christmas?
Way of living?
To the giving.
Jun'.
To Christmas?
And left no traces...
You know, they found
a couple bottles of that Elavil
in his coat pocket.
Oh.
I used to think Dickie was so strong.
It shows you never know about people.
God, he was my favorite uncle.
Remember when he used
to take us to the movies?
Ones Mom wouldn't let us go to.
That's the guy, my uncle Tony.
The guy I went to hell for.
You'd be the chosen one
"you're one in a million,
you got to burn to shine"
Kevin, quit bouncing that ball.
Go do something useful, man.
Morning.
About right and wrong
but you're looking good, baby
you're a-feelin' fine
with a blue moon in your eyes
in your eyes
you woke up this mornin'
upside down
things ain't been the same
walked into town
but you're one in a million
shotgun shine
with a blue moon in your eyes
you wanna be the chosen one
help yourself, yeah.
Santa Susannah
Santa Copelia
Mary Angelica.
Frater Pietro.
Vladimir and all the rest
is placed upon the steps and a baby cries
the church bells start to ring
the body settles in
a mother sing
then the other
as you step out on the road.
How much?
And how far and how many times.
Calling all angels.
Don't leave me alone
you gaze upon the sunset
and intensity
crack the code
finally understand
trade in all
and suffering?
Calling all angels.
Calling all angels
in medio umbrae mortis,
non timebo mala, quoniam tu mecum es.
Virga tua et baculus tuus
ipsa me consolata sunt.
She was furious with me,
because if I had my law degree,
I could have represented us.
The jury ruled against me.
I told my lawyer I considered suicide.
I drove home from Nyack, and guess what?
She had left me.
I recall almost a sigh of relief...
Somehow it made a lasting
impression on her life.
My first child came easy enough.
But with Patricia,
they had to open me up
under anesthesia.
I've often thought that
perhaps the reason...
I told them when I got here,
"Okay, I explored
the criminal lifestyle."
But I was an altar boy,
for Christ's sake.
Moltisanti is a religious name.
And still I'm fucked.
I met death on Route 23,
not too far from here.
But that was much later.
Back in 1967,
the man wearing the hat
was my father.
In those days, he didn't have a son.
Five dollars says I spot him first.
I don't got five dollars.
Then you better win,
gagootz. Huh?
Uncle Dick, think fast.
Oh, you want to fight, huh?
The little fat kid
is my uncle, Tony. Soprano.
You got nothing.
Well, we call him my uncle, by marriage.
He choked me to death.
There! Pay up.
We have a winner, ladies and gents.
Huh?
My grandfather and his brother were with
the DiMeo crime family in Newark.
My grandfather was an associate,
-but he stacked more scharol...
-Pop!
...than any of the made guys.
Hey, there he is!
Including a Cadillac dealership.
Cara mia, fammi presentare
mio figlio, Richard Moltisanti.
Everybody calls me Dickie.
Welcome to America.
Benvenuta.
Most guys 65
go to Europe on vacation,
they come back with the gout.
You come back with the winner,
Miss Provolone, 1967.
Oh. Antonio Soprano.
U picceri.
After he murdered me,
Tony gave my wife and baby
his pocket change.
But that was much later.
E squisita.
I'm embarrassed.
You're all such
great cooks over there.
Can you translate for me?
Forget it.
She understands enough.
Giuseppina,
what does your family
do over there?
Mio padre...
The fascists killed her old man.
Her mother never recovered.
Fuckin' Mussolini.
I don't get it.
When I was a kid,
you and Vito Genovese
always praised Mussolini.
Let's not talk politics at the table.
But I'll tell you, Dick,
it's paradise over there.
On the one hand,
you can't believe the beauty.
On the other hand,
they don't even have toilets.
I told Giuseppina that
"you're gonna live the life
of a proud American lady.
And I'm gonna have
my second set of children
with you."
And they'll be deluged with a life
that they could never even
imagine over there.
Like you were, Dick, as a kid.
These'll be your brothers and sisters.
So... Giuseppina
is your stepmother, Dickie.
Yeah.
It wasn't me who ripped you off!
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Come on!
-Shit!
-Harold.
All right, already.
This punk ass snapper.
Japped one of our runners,
took 600 bucks.
I want a full bag tomorrow.
Who the fuck are you?
The guy who one time
put out somebody's eye
for talkin' to him like that.
You winded there, Jesse Owens?
I gotta quit smoking.
I agree.
Can't I get you to switch to Newports?
Hey, Harold.
My son here say
he gonna be Hank Aaron when he grown up.
I'm gonna hit 318 like him.
Hmm. 318,
your lucky number, boy,
play it.
Yeah. Numbers
is the only chance.
Black folks got
to get out of
this sinkhole city.
How does that work, anyway?
Well, you pick out three numbers,
like for you, 3-1-8.
You bet a quarter,
and if your numbers
come on at the racetrack,
then you win $125 for a quarter.
-For a quarter?
-Mmm.
Bet a dollar, you get $500.
-You shitting me, Harold?
-Uh!
What if my numbers don't come out?
Well, if your
numbers don't hit,
you don't get nothing.
Harold collects
everybody's bets
and gives it to the Man.
How you think the Italians
drive those long, fancy cars
and wear those diamond
Swiss watches on their wrists?
Thank you. Thank you,
everybody, welcome.
-Uh...
Well, mostly, I...
I just want to say how pr...
Knock it off, Anthony.
I want to say how proud I am
of my big girl, Janice...
who is today...
a woman.
Cheers!
You know, Janice, she, uh...
She went to her catechism.
She practiced her Latin.
She even stopped
watching those two stunods,
Sonny and Cher,
long enough to think about God, huh?
Too much fucking salt on this.
At least for a minute or two,
but... boy, did she cost me.
You know, I made a bet that, uh,
Janice would not do her religious duties.
But if Janice did,
you know, got confirmed...
I'd shave off my mustache.
Ooh...
-Enjoy.
-His comare told him
it makes him look like Robert Goulet.
This stuff ain't so authentic.
Ow!
Just use your fork.
But, you know, the gravy's good.
-Oh. Come here.
-Your daughter's confirmation.
Congrats, skip.
I'm here, too, Mr. Handsome.
Yeah, and looking like a million dollars.
And not Mexican dollars, either.
What are you talking about?
Same fucking gang.
Colored kids hit
one of my colored runners.
Threw him a beating.
You believe this?
How these people
prey on their own?
Hey, Boot DiMeo's gonna
rag on me when he sees this.
It looks bad too, perception-wise.
Even the papers say
the numbers is the biggest
percentage of our cash flow.
Junior's right, you gotta get
your arms around this.
You got big ears there, gagootz?
Big brother,
go and get yourself
some Pez.
Silvio, Puss, come here.
-Marone!
-Oh!
Ah? The second
Mrs. Hollywood Dick.
I was just explaining
to His Holiness, here.
I think I went to school
with your father.
Calogero Dante.
"Butch."
He said you were a bully.
Whoa, what do we got here?
The Italian actress,
Sophia Lotsa-Pizza.
Get out of here, you fucking mutt!
Uh... Sorry.
Buddha. It's Joe D.
He's up at the Boot's Mansion.
Mr. DiMaggio. Come stai?
Your saints name
you took in church today,
Apollonia?
She's the patron saint of dentists.
Take it from me,
chains are more effective
than snow tires.
Why didn't you bring the missus, Dick?
I tried, but the poor kid's
self-conscious about
her English.
She's making progress, though.
I didn't catch the name.
Pussy.
Don't worry, Father,
it's not what you think it is.
This is my dog.
This is my dog.
This is your dog.
This is your dog.
Your dog.
Buddy Durham in the light trunks...
the white trunks.
Durham has always been known
as a counter-puncher...
Huh...
He gets a great hook in there.
Hey.
What did you learn to say?
This... is... his... ball.
Whose ball?
Spot.
Oh, I think this is a waste of money.
We hear from Hoboken's
own Chairman of the Board.
Hi, there, my name
is Francis Albert Sinatra
and I got news for you.
Here's your host,
William B. Williams.
My mother met
his mother once. Frank.
Frank? He grabbed me
to go to some party once.
It was on the Upper East Side,
it was a penthouse.
Some celebrity, I don't know who.
So... he and Dean, they have
this donkey brought downstairs
to the basement.
And the donkey's just stuffed
full of laxatives, right?
So they put it in the private elevator.
They send
the private elevator up,
the door opens,
and the donkey starts kicking
and shitting over everybody
in the party!
Oh!
Ah, your sister's cunt!
Junior, it's the Summer of Love.
It's just a line to you.
And never seemed so right before...
Nice car.
You a friend of Dickie's?
No English.
Oh!
Hopalong Che Si Dice!
It's fucking light again?
Picked up from
most of the runners,
but this kid, Overall...
Who the fuck is Overall?
He's a crazy young motherfucker
that runs the Saints.
Leon Overall.
He's from East Orange.
My cousin's, uh,
the placekicker over
at the high school over there.
Yeah, well me and Harold
played East Orange
Thanksgiving game.
We used to beat 'em every fucking year.
You should have seen this man run.
Are you sure you don't
got no Black blood?
That's Sicilians.
I'm Napoletano.
Oh! I'm Siciliano.
Come on. Come over here.
The big picture, you told me
this thing was over
with the Black Saints.
I know, I...
thought I schooled the kid,
Overall, when I whupped him,
but...
He's got a wild hair across his ass.
I gotta know, Harold...
aren't you humiliated
by what you just said?
I know I would be.
You're a grown man.
Fucking punk street gang?
Come on in, son. Have a seat.
I think we lost him.
Hold up. Hold up. Turn around.
Would I for sure
be going to Vietnam?
Like my dream?
You heard about the G.I. Bill?
Yeah, college. Sure.
Thinking about being a...
-scientist.
-Hmm.
Wait over there.
No, this... this war
wasn't my idea!
Isola, turn that light out.
I'm trying to sleep.
That's why I brought you a 7 and 7, baby.
What's the matter with you?
Goddamn Gentleman Dickie Moltisanti.
Always comes to me
to handle his nasty work.
Done made you his house nigga.
Put it away.
The army won't take me now.
I always wanted to join up, but I...
I had two felony convictions.
Take you?
Happened to stop by
a recruiting office today,
and it made me remember.
Brothers doing
all the dying over there.
We don't need no more.
Well, somebody's gonna to win
the Medal of Honor.
Not a Black man.
Please.
Ooh, baby, you are a riot tonight.
Make a right here.
It's a one-way.
Fuck it, make the right.
Fuck.
Step out of the car.
I know what I did, Officer.
With your sigh.
Oh!
Hey, why aren't they home,
sleeping till noon?
Two officers picked up
some colored taxi driver,
had to rough him up a little.
These morons think we killed him.
It spread around
the Central Ward that way.
They broke windows
up and down Belmont Avenue.
They're throwing bricks
and bottles at us.
We got two officers
had to go to the hospital.
- No shit.
You ain't nothin' without that badge!
You think this is funny?
For a day...
Get the fuck away from the car!
And she kissed me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it for
our host tonight.
They call him Gentleman Dick Moltisanti.
Ahh!
Paulie.
This?
It's about time.
Pinto the Butcher
sent over some capuzzelle.
The fuck happen to you?
There's something you gotta see.
What the fuck?
That's Belmont Avenue.
You wanna get smart now?
Ma vaffanculo!
Why don't you go after the ditsoon, huh?
They almost burned the city down.
Oh, you'll hold the door, huh.
Daddy!
-Janice, go home!
-Daddy!
Go home!
Take the bus.
Hey, stop! Stop!
-Agh!
- Anthony!
Anthony! What are
you doing here?
My God!
What did they do?
We raided a card game, but we got lucky.
Picked up your husband
on an outstanding warrant.
Had to take 'em somewhere.
Warrant? For what?
Assault with a deadly weapon.
The Lobster Trap Restaurant?
That wasn't him.
He didn't do that.
Where is he?
Downtown.
He's downtown,
where he might get
burned to death?
What are you people thinking?
Janice, shut up with that!
What were the two of you doing
at that card game?
Dad took Janice
to ride the rides
while he played cards.
But he wouldn't take me
because I passed gas
while he was eating lunch.
Get inside, both of you!
Anthony!
Standing in the ruins
Of another Black man's life.
Or flying through the valley
Separating day and night
"I am death," cried the vulture.
"For the people of the night."
In a wilderness of heartbreak
And a desert of despair.
Evil's clarion of justice
Shrieks a cry of naked terror.
Taking babies from their mommas
Leaving grief beyond compare.
Please help me! Help me!
Please, help me!
So if you see
the vulture coming
Flying circles in your mind.
-Remember, there is no escaping.
For he will follow close behind.
Only promise me a battle.
Battle for your soul and mine.
And mine.
Talk to young Negro men on the street
and they will tell you, they say,
they're supposed to go away
and die for this country
that isn't really theirs?
This tells you
right there that for
understandable reasons,
they don't consider themselves
complete Americans.
And I don't say this
comprises all of them,
but it's obvious the reason
they can burn their
own homes...
Huge fire.
Ashes.
Thought I heard somebody fall.
You fall this morning?
I tripped in the bathtub.
Oh.
You shouldn't
wear your sunglasses
in the tub, you know?
He's got a temper.
arrabbiato, my father.
He start to yell.
Yeah, he wasn't like this back in Ariano?
'Cause he used to...
me, as a kid.
Every day.
I should have stayed there.
No.
Maybe I come to America
for America money.
But...
But here, in America, he become...
Uno stronzo!
I think maybe you still love him.
What's the matter with you?
My wife's right inside.
You're my father's wife.
Oh.
Where are you going?
I'm going down to Rexall.
The doc switched
my blood thinner.
I'll ride with you.
What?
How high did she bounce?
What are you talking about?
When you threw her down the stairs.
Got two left feet.
'Cause you used to throw
my mother down the stairs.
I didn't like it then,
I don't like it now.
Well, some women
like the rough stuff.
Don't ask me why.
Yeah, it's funny how
they're all attracted to
Hollywood Dick Moltisanti.
You wanted to get into her fucking pants
since the day I brought her over.
I give you permission
to picture her while
you're jerking off.
I promise you,
you hurt her again,
you're going down the stairs.
-Who the fuck do you think
you're fucking talking to?
-You got away with it
once with Mom.
But I was a little kid.
You're not getting away with it again.
Oh, I marry sluts.
What do I know?
Ow! Hey! Get...
Get your fucking...
Get off me!
Hey! Hey!
Dick...
Pop.
Pop?
Uncle Dickie.
Anthony, what the fuck are you doing?
The city's burning down.
Over on Springfield Avenue.
Dickie? Who blew the horn?
I'm working on the car.
You want pork chops tonight?
Yeah, that's fine.
Can I watch you work on the car?
With the applesauce?
I don't know what sauce!
I gotta go out for a while.
Can I?
Can you what?
Watch.
What the fuck did I
just say, God damn it?
Now, go home!
...from the newsroom.
American warplanes
have expanded the air war
over North Vietnam
with the bombing of five
previously untouched targets
near the heart of
the port city of Haiphong.
Four of the new targets,
one of them only a mile
and a half from Haiphong...
Democratic Majority Leader Mike Mansfield
-sounded a warning tonight...
-Go ahead, sir.
He's white.
A love-in there
of San Francisco...
Three guesses who they blame this on.
The Harlem Globetrotters.
Shh.
They called him Hollywood Dick.
Imagine what he looks like now.
Tell Ma what you told me, about the bird.
There was a bird in the garage.
So?
It means somebody's gonna die.
You're talking through your hat.
A bird would never
fly into a garage
to announce a death.
A house is another matter.
Poor Dickie.
I still can't believe it.
I gotta talk to Johnny Soprano,
the putrescible trash routes.
The Sposato Brothers are making a grab.
You didn't hear?
Johnny's gonna be
a guest of the government.
He couldn't make bail.
When my brother's away,
everything goes through me.
You got diarrhea?
Comedian.
The three C's I owe you.
What the fuck is this?
It's supposed to be cash.
That's an RCA.
What am I gonna do with this?
What a blow.
Yeah, well,
at least you still got
your brother. I'm...
Yeah. I got nobody.
Dickie, consider me your
brother from now on, huh?
Where's your brother?
He went to see if he could
sneak into the room
where they do the bodies.
In Newark tonight,
state troopers
and the National Guard
ceased...
You son of a bitch.
You can't watch television in here.
Vincent, it's the news.
...President Johnson,
we've been told,
has been following the situation...
Ah, they're never gonna
catch those bastards.
I told the cops.
In the dull
and commonplace occurrences
of day-to-day living,
one thing stands out
as a completely unique
experience: Colt .45.
Jesus Christ.
The fuck's the matter with you?
You have
no respect for my father,
you fucking animals!
He's dead!
Looks like the riots
are ending though, Dick,
that's good news.
I wish that the shooter killed you!
All of you!
John Francis Soprano.
On the charge of assault
with a deadly weapon,
I hereby sentence you
to no more than five
and no less than two years
in Rahway State Prison.
Uncle Sally.
I'm Dickie, your brother Dick's boy.
How are you?
You know, I'm sorry,
I know I never came
to visit you before.
My father wouldn't allow it.
I came to tell you...
your brother, my dad...
he passed.
They burned him up in the riots.
I brought you some sfogliatelle.
I don't eat dairy.
Oh.
Well, you being out here isolated,
out of contact with the family,
my old man said you deserved it,
but I want to do whatever I can
to help you from now.
It wasn't right how they treated you.
I was 25.
I murdered a made guy in our own family.
I'm here for a good reason.
You don't need to help me.
But...
What do you want, Richard?
I'll be honest with you.
I want to do a good deed.
Huh!
A what?
A good deed.
Miles.
Birth of the Cool.
What?
It's a record.
I'm a jazz nut.
Bring me a copy next time you come.
If you come.
-Quant'e bella!
-S?
It's so beautiful.
We're gonna go down to Bamberger's.
We're gonna fill
the place with furniture.
Madonna mia.
Mmm.
Could you give us a few minutes?
You got it.
Aunt Concetta says
you've been looking for a job.
At, uh, DiLorenzo Brothers Beauty Parlor.
I cut hair back in Ariano.
You don't need to do that.
I want to keep taking care of you.
But I like to work, Dickie.
And America has so many work.
Un giorno, I want to have
my own beauty parlor.
Well, you're not gonna work
for those two fanooks.
The DiLorenzos?
Motherfucker.
-I like that word.
Motherfucker.
Eighteen. Paul's birthday.
We don't take Beatle birthdays.
We'd go broke.
Fuck it. Make it eight.
Micky Dolenz.
I dreamed about
Whitey Ford last night.
He wears number 16.
The boys
basketball team is playing
St. Stephen's this afternoon.
The high temperature today
will be 53 degrees.
Faculty advisory,
absentees: 16.
Sixteen, I hit the number!
You gotta talk to him.
-Johnny should do it.
-You're the only one
he listens to.
Johnny should do it.
You're gonna see him
visiting day.
- Side door's open.
Johnny's just gonna want to hit him,
and he can't because of
the glass partition
and he's just gonna get frustrated.
-Hey, Jun'.
-I got some
Lady Schick blow dryers.
Livia, take one for yourself.
One for Janice.
I got bigger problems than blow dryers.
Anthony got kicked out of school.
Let me go talk to him.
I promised Johnny
I'd take care of Tony
while he was in jail.
The way you talk, you just confuse him.
He only listens to Dickie.
Ma vaffanculo.
Jun', leave me a blower for Joanne.
What are you reading?
Oh, can't you read a regular comic?
You know, Superman, Jughead.
It's about some Jewish girl and a knight.
And Robin Hood's in it.
I didn't know they had Jews
back in the Middle Ages.
Well... the Bible.
Anyway, your mother
asked me to talk to you, so...
What, about getting
suspended from school?
Hey, put that down, huh?
Sorry.
You know I don't like to
lean on you about stuff.
But you can't start
a gambling operation
at school.
I know that...
now.
Hey, don't bullshit me.
You always knew it.
And it's not
just the gambling.
It's everything.
The cherry bombs at the YMCA,
letting the air out of
Mrs. Russo's tires...
-I apologized to her!
-You talk big about
wanting to be
on the football team
in high school
and you're smoking
already? Oh!
You gotta have a better attitude.
With your father gone,
your mother's got
a lot on her plate.
You gotta be good.
I don't want to go through this again.
I try to be good.
I don't think so.
Try harder.
Pinky swear?
Jesus.
Hey, you don't talk to me like that.
See, you're not listening.
Fine. Pinky swear.
All right.
One time I went to Playland...
I saw the cops shoot a friend
of my dad's right in the back.
Yeah, Chickie Sasso.
He still can't move
his bowels like normal.
I don't want that to happen to me.
And it won't, gagootz.
Not while I'm around.
We're gonna see that it don't.
Junior. Junior.
Where's Candy tonight?
Migraine.
Again with the migraine.
Keep a close eye on that one.
She keeps disappearing,
she's probably fucking some
Tom, Dick and Harry.
Found a new gravy train.
A guy checks into a hotel,
calls up the front desk,
"I got a leak in the sink."
Clerk says, "Go ahead.
Customer's always right."
Yeah, that was funnier when
Henny Youngman told it.
No, no, don't... Don't.
Just leave it the way it is.
I wonder what the origin
of the sobriquet
"gravy train" is.
They named it after the dog food.
I don't know about you, Junior.
Guy tells you your girlfriend's
banging somebody else,
you're worried about
the origin of "gravy train"?
Oh!
Oh, smile, my brother.
White flight.
Oh!
It's Hopalong Che Si Dice.
Whatever the fuck that means.
Hey! Language.
There's ladies here.
What can I get you?
Bartender's special tonight,
for the ladies: Pink Squirrel.
Courvoisier and Coke.
Water back.
That what they drink on the plantation?
Oh, you didn't hear?
We're off the plantation.
We got wops digging ditches
since they come over.
Hey, come on.
It's Dickie's business.
Let it go, Paulie.
What the fuck's the matter with you?
You got a murder warrant over your head.
I'm heading down south.
North Carolina.
So where's your mule?
Get going.
Thing is, I need to borrow some money.
-How much?
-A grand.
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna give you
five C's. Yeah?
It's my gift to you.
You don't gotta give it back.
No, I want to pay you back.
Ah, it's better this way.
You don't gotta be afraid
to say hello to me,
I don't gotta chase you down.
Won't come between us.
So I guess this is goodbye.
Yeah, you said your goodbye, so go.
You don't stare
at those people.
They don't like it.
Brought you that record you wanted.
Plus, a couple others I picked out.
What's this?
Al Hirt. Trumpet.
He's on Carson all the time.
It's not jazz. Take it back.
These, too.
So...
you did your good deed.
Well, don't put it like that.
I plan to do a lot more.
Your poor father, huh?
He goes down to board up
that Atta Boy business
that he had...
and he dies in that horrible way.
It's just weird, though.
What, weird?
My brother's hands were soft.
Like a baby's pishadeel.
Always with the manicures, your father.
Yeah, what's your point?
He never touched a hammer
or a board in his life.
What's your problem?
Well, for one thing...
my wife, she can't get pregnant.
You know, it takes a toll.
I want a son so bad.
What would you do?
It's the wanting.
Huh?
The Buddhist will tell you:
"All life is pain."
Pain comes from always wanting things.
A son is not a thing.
It's the wanting.
You know, Tone, we could
still run that numbers game
down at the fucking CYO.
I got fucking suspended,
I can't get in fucking
trouble again.
No. Fucking school
will never know.
I want to make it to the NFL someday.
For that, I gotta go to college.
So I gotta watch my fucking ass.
My old man
told me I gotta run his fucking
restaurant when I grow up.
What does your old man say?
He says
I gotta fucking rob
your old man's restaurant.
Do you know who I'd wanna be?
Your Uncle Dickie.
How he fucking dresses.
He said he'd give me $500
if I graduate from
fucking high school.
Fuck, man.
Of circular time?
Has got you in its sway
has got you in its sway.
The '60s ended.
Neil Young gave that
speech from the moon.
Then came the RICO statutes
around when I was born.
I wish I had come before that.
Hey, Uncle Dick.
They're gonna be here soon.
We gotta get inside and hide.
Hey, Anthony,
you go see
Dirty Harry like I told you?
"You gotta ask yourself,
do you feel lucky?"
"Well, do you, punk?"
Madonna.
It's that old fig tree,
in 'Lino's backyard.
-Nothing changes.
-Yeah.
Nothing changes?
That's... that's
Poupette's house.
-What are you mad at me for?
-Ah, you...
Mother...
How did you let this happen?
Oh, what do you want from me, Johnny?
I had plenty on my shoulders
taking care of things
while you were in the joint.
Yeah.
Raising Anthony. The disaster
with the Electricians Union.
-Ah!
-Your wife with the cramps.
Boo-hoo-hoo!
Look at Dickie Moltisanti.
His father gets whacked, he steps up.
Takes care of his family,
takes care of all the business.
Not a peep out of him.
He's younger than you.
Yeah.
- Surprise!
-Jesus Christ.
-There he is.
All I want to do is
bang my goomar,
go to sleep.
-Hey.
-Good to see you.
-Hey, Paulie,
how's your ma, huh?
-Much better.
Johnny.
Hey, baby, how are you?
Come here.
Did the surprise work?
You know, I'll tell you
what surprised me.
You got shiners on the block, huh?
Oh, look at you.
Not a pound.
He's just a regular Charlton Heston.
You come, you visit...
But you don't tell me
they moved in.
On my street.
He's a doctor.
-A doctor.
-He's not operating on me.
You gotta berate me
in front of everybody?
Ah, Jesus.
You know, just like always.
Ah, va' a Napoli.
Come on.
Hi, Dad.
What do you got on?
Go upstairs, right now,
put on some decent clothes.
Johnny, it's what
they're wearing nowadays.
Go do what I said, Janice.
Sweetie. You recognize
your daddy, pumpkin?
Yeah. That's it. Yeah.
What's the matter with you?
Go give your father
a proper hello. Stunod!
Come here.
I missed you, Dad.
I missed you too, kid.
You know, I made your
favorite pizza gain.
Even though it's not Easter.
I got everybody together.
I dressed up.
And you spit on it all, on me!
I didn't invite the coloreds
onto the block!
Here we go.
Livia,
give him a break.
He just did four years.
I did four years!
I missed your baked ziti, baby.
I put extra veal bones in
with the sausage.
How about you, chooch?
You gonna be a linebacker, huh?
Coach says I'm gonna be starting.
He don't have the makings
of a varsity athlete.
It was up to me,
you wouldn't be
playing at all,
but you went ahead
and you forged
my signature.
Nah, relax.
He's not gonna get hurt.
Here he is.
Fresh from his nap.
-Joanne, Joanne...
-Yeah?
He hasn't met Johnny.
Aw.
Wow.
Johnny, this is our Christopher.
Hello,
Christopher Moltisanti.
It's your Uncle Johnny.
I'm back from England.
-Go with your daddy.
-Come here.
Oh! Bambolino!
Finally, huh?
Corrado, right?
Got myself a son.
Hi.
I hear he's slow with the talking.
Hi, Christopher, hello!
-Oh!
What's the matter?
Don't cry. It's only me,
-your Uncle Tony.
-Oh!
-What's wrong.
Cootchie-coo!
- Oh! Oh!
Okay. All right. All right.
You know, every time
you're near him
he cries like this.
I didn't do anything.
What happened?
It's okay.
Look at that.
I don't know what it is,
it's like I scare him
or something.
Some babies, when they
come into the world,
know all kinds of things
from the other side.
Night descends As the sun's light ends.
And Black comes back, to blend again.
-Wake up, nigga.
-Yes!
And with the death of the sun.
Wake up.
Night and blackness become one.
Wake up.
-Blackness being you.
-Wake up, nigga.
Peeping through the red
The white, and the blue.
Dreaming of bars, Black civilizations.
That once flourished and grew.
-Wake up, nigga.
-Hey!
Wake up, niggas, or y'all through!
He's right. He's right.
Drowning in the puddles
Of the white man's spit.
Wake up.
As you pause for some drawers.
-In the midst of shit.
-Wake up.
And ain't got nothing
to save your funky-ass with.
-Wake up, nigga.
-You cool, fool.
Sipping on a menthol cigarette
'round midnight.
-Wake up.
-Rapping about how
the Big Apple is outta sight.
-Wake up.
-When you
ain't never had a bite.
Wake up.
Who are you fooling?
Me, you?
Wake up, niggas, or we're all through!
- Yeah! Yeah!
That's some inspirational shit.
Even the speeches.
This decides me.
Know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna start my own book.
You're gonna do what?
We're gonna start...
first Black numbers bank
in the Central Ward.
Nigga, you talking
about facing down
the motherfucking mafia.
Frank Lucas will be my backer.
He's got money up his ass from the skag.
You know the Dope King?
Down home.
Country boys.
This ain't Greensboro, North Cackalacky.
The Italians got soldiers over there.
Okay?
That's what they call 'em.
What... what's the matter,
you ain't no soldier?
Never thought about myself that way, no.
Well, think about it.
Right. "He's got a gun,"
you think, "and I haven't."
You figure it's the gun.
Well, listen, soldier.
Thousands of guys got guns,
but there's only one
Johnny Rocco!
How do you account for it?
Well,
he knows what he wants.
Don't you, Rocco?
-Sure.
-What's that?
Tell him, Rocco.
Well, I want, uh...
He wants more.
Don't you, Rocco?
Yeah, that's it. More.
That's right, I want more.
Here. Why don't you buy
you and your friends
some of those...
McDonald's.
-The burgers?
-Yeah.
You, do you know what you want?
Yes, and I had hopes once, but...
Hopes for what?
A world in which
there's no place
for Johnny Rocco.
Okay, soldier, you can
make your hopes come true.
But you gotta die for it.
See where I'm aiming?
Right at your belly.
Go ahead, shoot.
-Your turn, Daddy.
-All right.
Hey, Hopalong Che Si Dice.
Oh, fuck.
How's it going, Harold?
Cyril, how's your ass?
How you doing, son?
I'm taking my nephew to the Yankees game.
Is something funny back there?
Sorry, Uncle Dick.
No, really, I'm sorry!
You fuckstick.
I heard your ass was back in Jersey.
You still got that warrant
over your head?
Lead detective died.
Nobody gives a shit.
Leon Overall had been a white boy,
it'd be a whole different story.
Hey, Harold,
how 'bout you come around,
talk to me over here.
When are you gonna come back
and work for me again?
Got stuff of my own percolating.
While you're waiting for
that Maxwell House to boil...
Hey, how much he give you?
Like I'm a fucking Pullman porter.
Man, it's $100.
I need to see the lease.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Due per cento increase every year.
Six and a half years still.
Right?
-I like.
-Yeah.
It's Dionne Warwick.
Comes from right over here
in South Orange.
I love Dionne Warwick.
Me, too.
I wonder where she gets her hair done.
Probably some fancy place
in Beverly Hills.
I bet she pays $100.
Oof! Marone!
I should move to Beverly's Hill.
Where'd you learn to do hair?
I learned from mia mamma.
-Mmm.
-My...
She had a chair in the front room.
Women would come, and I sweep up.
And I watch.
Oh, how wonderful.
But that's not the life I want for me.
-Mmm.
-Over there,
you get old so fast.
Ten children and a big, black dress.
You know, over there,
I wanted to be a priest.
-You mean "nun."
-No, no, priest.
Nuns have to do what they told.
The priest is the boss. Capo.
So you never tried the convent, huh?
Not for me.
I could not stand the silence.
No male.
No, yeah.
You wind up doing... push-ups
in the asparagus garden.
You know?
What's so funny?
Nuns.
Yeah. They weren't so funny
when they were hitting me
with a ruler.
First thing you gotta do
is look at the lease.
Is that, uh, the lease?
We already look at the lease.
It's good.
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna
look it over.
Two percent increase a year,
six years still remaining.
There's just one thing
I want to make better.
Oh, yeah?
-New sinks.
-Hmm.
Those are disgust.
We can do that, sure.
This is some fantastic salsicce.
Guarda basso.
I am worried about
the fucking boiler, though.
Looked like shit.
Inspector says it's fine.
Okay, okay. But the thing
about remodeling is,
you start with the sinks and then you go,
"We might as well
do this other thing
while we're at it."
It spins out of control.
Ah.
We don't want to be pouring
good money after bad.
Can you stop eating for one minute?
Finisci di mangiare poi stammi a sentire.
No capisce, but I'm all fuckin' ears.
So we're not going to buy it
for me, the beauty parlor?
All I'm saying,
I don't want us walking
into a stupid situation.
You think I'm stupid?
Oh, let me ask you,
what are you, on the rag?
Every time I say
something you don't like,
you ask me if I'm...
il marchese.
First you tell me
to find a store I can turn
into beauty parlor.
I do that.
You say it looks good.
Then you say,
"No, let's buy a place
already a beauty parlor."
I find this place.
Now the boiler!
Sweetheart, why are we arguing
about fucking plumbing?
I always want to do right by you!
You know, I love you!
Io ti voglio piu bene
di quanto tu ne vuoi a me,
lo vuoi capire o no?
You know I don't speak Italian!
Maybe you should learn!
Oh, where you going?
To put on a robe.
I'm cold.
Better hurry up.
Pot roast night.
Right. You know Wednesdays
I gotta go home.
And what are you getting so pissy about?
Why did I make the sausage?
To make me happy?
Because I love it?
But it's not as good as
Joanne's fucking pot roast.
Oh, you're digging at Joanne again.
I hate her.
Of course you do.
It's only natural.
Go home and eat.
I don't want the beauty salon.
No, vaffanculo.
Motherfucker!
You think you know everything!
Jackie, you drive stick?
-Fuck no.
-I do!
You drive.
Grab his arm, hold him down.
Fucking punks!
We're gonna get in
so much fucking trouble!
My father's gonna use the belt on me!
You little shit!
If anybody tells
anybody about this,
next time we use the belt.
Stand back,
Ah, don't worry 'bout me, babe.
Oh! Come here!
Free ice cream!
Here, here.
Get more of it.
Here, here.
Here you go.
Here you go.
How 'bout this one?
There you go, sweetheart.
That manicott at Vesuvio's is so rich.
How'd you hear
about them throwing
Mister Softee a beating?
His cousin Tony Blundetto told Janice.
I was down in the islands
when he pulled that shit.
If I was home, I'd have
given him a schiaffo
he'd never forget.
What's he want to be when he gets older?
Thinks he's gonna be a football player.
He's good.
I don't think
he's pro material.
What do you think, Dick?
Probably not. But who knows,
he puts on a few pounds,
four years of college ball...
He should go to work for my cousin Frank
in the patio furniture business.
Here we go with that tune.
So maybe he's not a ball player, but Li,
you don't wanna step on the kid's dream.
You always take his side.
Look, you give him
the best advice you can,
you lead by example,
he'll make the right decision.
This kid's got what it takes.
That's what I'm saying.
We all do things like that
when we're kids, right?
Beat up the Mister Softee man.
If my Christopher
grew up to be like Tony,
I'd be goddamn proud of him.
I told him the other day, I said,
"You play football
for a career,
it doesn't last long.
You wind up
an old crippled man
by the time you're 32."
Bobby Piocosta, he's a junior,
on Anthony's team.
He fractured his shoulder last week.
The mother was hysterical.
They had to take him to
a specialist at St. Barnabas.
You think the school's
gonna pay for that?
That's some Christmas present, huh?
Having your kid laid up.
He can't help outside,
hang the decorations.
He can't help shovel the walk...
Don't give me that look.
I though it will be different.
What?
Make love with a Black man.
Is it?
No.
It's all about Italian men, huh?
There's stories
about Dean Martin
and Rossano Brazzi,
how they're great lovers.
If you feed them.
Oh!
You gotta give Dickie his
meatballs and his noodles.
I'm Dickie's comare.
Dickie and his friends,
they like their women
to stay at home.
Don't go out.
Wait on them, hand and feet.
I'd stack my bread if you were my girl.
You want to have your own beauty parlor?
Knock yourself out.
I'd even back it.
You want your woman to work?
No, but I'd be real proud of her.
Owning a business.
My mama used to take in the washing.
I always respected her for that.
Dickie says colored men
don't have no head
for making money.
Well, that's what we're gonna find out.
You will not be able
to stay home brother!
Four, two, seven.
Box it for me?
You know, another nurse
hit the number last night.
Big time.
Damn. Who was it?
What do I know, it was
up in the First Ward.
It was, uh...
It was St. Michaels.
That jinxes it for me.
The revolution will not be brought to you
by the Schaefer Award Theatre.
And will not star Natalie Woods
and Steve McQueen
or Bullwinkle and Julia.
See, the law of averages say
you got the same chance
of hitting
as any two random people.
Yeah, but two people at the same time
don't have the same chance of winning.
That's the law of averages.
That's a fallacy,
Ms. Johnson.
It's all random.
You don't understand fate.
What do you got for me, professor?
See you tomorrow.
Tomorrow there'll be
a brother here for the pickup.
No more whitey's cut.
What the fuck, man?
The revolution will be live.
And this Black guy,
Harold McBrayer,
popped one of my guys.
He used to be a runner of mine.
We don't know who ordered it.
We can't find McBrayer.
So what do you want from me?
I was thinking maybe
you could ask in here.
Nation of Islam, talk to Alonzo Turner,
see if any of them knows anything.
I don't talk to people in here.
I mostly read all day.
How you doing on your merit badges?
I'm coaching a beep baseball team.
A who?
It's baseball. For blind kids.
Get the fuck outta here.
No, for real.
Run, run, run, come on!
Shortstop, left!
-Attaboy!
Way to go, Coach.
Our boys looked
sterling out there today.
Two, four, six, eight,
who do we appreciate?
Coach Moltisanti!
Coach Moltisanti!
You're a saint!
-Oh, shit!
-Gun!
Where's Harold?
In your mother's fat guinea ass.
You take that back!
Who put him up to it, Angelo Salerno?
Anthony Bello?
Chef Boyardee.
Come.
Put him on the table!
Pussy, grab his legs.
What are you gonna do, rotate my tires?
Dick, I just got this jacket.
You...
Open!
What about it?
Fuck you!
Stop for a minute!
God damn it!
Oh! I don't fucking...
So?
Harold! Harold McBrayer!
I asked you whose idea it was!
I told you! It was Harold!
Nobody put him up to it!
Oh.
The fucker acted on his own?
All right, Dickie.
- Go get it.
That fall,
Johnny moved to the suburbs,
the Black thing.
And he was seriously earning.
This move made
Tony half a pussy,
in my estimation.
What made you think it was a good idea
to steal the answers
to the geometry test?
I didn't study,
and, uh, I needed to pass,
so I could stay on the football team.
You know,
you got Charlie Nodzak in trouble, too,
when you paid him for the answers.
Well, he was the only kid
I knew on the mimeo squad.
Well, Charlie was on the honor roll.
And you're missing the point.
You know stealing the tests was wrong.
Yeah, I guess so.
But if you're gonna
kick me out of school,
I mean, you should just do it,
instead of us talking about it.
You talk a lot at home?
I don't know.
Well, your dad, for example,
what does he talk to you about?
The lawn.
What about the lawn?
I don't know,
he goes to Yankee Stadium
and he comes home and says
our lawn looks crummy.
What about your mother?
Is she someone
who likes to talk a lot?
I guess so.
Well...
what makes her happy?
Happy?
My mother?
Let's go, Anthony.
I wonder if I
could talk to you for a moment
alone, Mrs. Soprano?
Well, it's gonna have to be fast,
'cause I'm parked at the hydrant.
On the basis of the Stanford-Binet,
he's high IQ, but you know that.
You can't prove it by me.
He's got a D-plus average.
Well, that's because
he doesn't apply himself,
but he is smart.
There's a big difference
between a smart person
and a smart aleck.
I also administered
the Briggs-Myer personality
inventory just now,
and the results tell us, he's a leader.
"Enthusiastic,
insightful, playful."
Ah, you're talking through your hat.
He did tell me one thing
I'd like to share with you.
But it's gotta be fast,
because I'm still
at the hydrant.
Do you remember a children's book called.
-Sutter's Mill?
-No.
About the gold rush in California?
Yeah, maybe I do. Yeah?
He told me about a night
your husband was... away.
And you got in the bed
with Anthony and hugged him.
He said that?
No, his exact words were
you "snuggled up close."
Yeah. Yeah,
I remember that now.
You read to him from that book.
Long into the night, apparently.
He remembered details.
He didn't know the word "ingot,"
and you explained it to him.
He said it was one of his
best memories of his life.
Is that a hotel Bible?
I forget where I got it.
Baby, Cousin Cyril is dead.
You're supposed to do an hour.
It's an hour on, ten minutes off.
All of a sudden youse
two are only on 40 minutes
and then disappear.
We don't know where the fuck you are.
We're off somewhere thinking,
"What more can we do for
Gentleman Dick and Johnny?"
Don't get cute.
Where's Giuseppina tonight?
The movies with her girlfriend.
I would eat her shit.
Oh!
You don't talk about her that way.
In fact, you don't talk about her at all.
Hey, take it easy!
I love her. I love her!
Get down!
-Hey, asshole!
-Dickie!
Motherfucker!
Come on, you fucker.
Come here.
You like that, huh?
-How 'bout that?
-Come on,
you motherfuckers.
Fuck!
No, no, no! Frankie,
Frankie, Frankie! Frankie!
No!
You mother...
Shit!
Anthony, come eat!
There's my big boy.
Oh, cool, man, a hamburger.
I thought you'd like a change
from a mortadella sandwich.
I made it special for you.
You look nice.
Aw.
Me and Aunt Mary
are going to the city
to see No, No, Nanette.
What's that?
Broadway. A play.
Shoes are killing my bunions.
You should go see
Dr. Cuomo.
We don't go to him anymore.
We don't?
He said some very rude things to me.
Like what?
He wants me to take pills
for my sleeping.
And... and other things.
I'm not some lunatic.
No, but maybe some
medicine would be good.
Ah, you and your father.
Why don't you get in line
to blame me?
I wasn't blaming you,
I was just saying...
This new thing...
called Elavil.
For people who are sick in the head.
Of a mother's little helper.
What?
It's a song.
It's by the Stones.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
They're drug addicts.
I don't take drugs.
The song's not saying
that you take drugs, it's...
You smoking marijuana, I suppose?
Mom, I'm on the team.
Your sister is.
I'm almost sure of it.
-This hamburger's great, Mom.
It's really good.
-Agh!
Go on.
I went to all that trouble
just so we could have
a nice conversation for once,
and for what?
How am I supposed to enjoy
a Broadway show
with my children and their pot?
Ma, I don't smoke pot!
Well, your sister comes in here
smelling like a gypsy.
Well, I'm not my sister.
I'm always being accused.
Oh! Poor you!
Sempre, s, sempre problemi al cuore.
Don't look so blue, kid.
You and me'll cut out, go play catch.
It's raining.
...sa benedica,
gets put in the ground,
all they want to do is eat my food.
It's not an Irish wake, right, no food.
You get carried to your car.
Watch your step there, boss.
-How you doing?
-How you been?
Eckley, how's the boy?
Wonder what they talk about in there.
Uncle Dick, can I talk
to you for a minute?
What's up, Joe Cocker?
All right, I'm gonna wait in the car.
You help her? Help her.
Well, spit it out.
You ever heard of this?
Yeah, so, what about it?
Well, my mom's been in a bad mood lately.
The doctor said that
this medicine could help her,
but she won't take it.
So what do you want from me?
So I was thinking maybe
you could talk to her.
What about your old man?
Nah, she's not speaking to him.
He did something.
I see the way she looks at you.
Always sits next to you at dinners.
She bought you that
fur hat for Christmas.
I never wear it.
I mean... she looks up to you.
And maybe you could get her some.
You need a prescription.
I can't get it in my own name.
I know you can get anything.
Don't be a wise-ass.
I'm not, I'm just saying
it could make her happy.
Even Janice says.
Janice.
There's somebody we all
want to take advice from.
Anthony!
The pros play in the rain.
-Ah,
what are you doing, Jun'?
-Uncle Jun'!
Oh, Madonna mia!
Stay down. Don't move him!
Uncle Jun'!
I just said don't move him!
Your sister's cunt!
Corrado!
I'm calling an ambulance.
God damn it.
Here you go. Here you go.
-Take my hand.
-Cocksucker!
Or understand me
they all hand me.
These are Frank Sinatra, Jr.
Tickets for your uncle.
I gotta fly down to the dog track.
They boast a string of hits
that seems to have no end,
out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
the mighty Delfonics.
Hey, kid.
How's your rash?
Uncle Dickie around?
Hey.
Mezzanine?
What the fuck.
What?
That medicine.
Oh...
You nervous Nellie, I got stuff to do.
Hey, hey, come here.
I want to show you something.
Holy shit. JBLs.
A pair of them are yours to take home.
Yeah, well, they're hot.
Eh, fell off a truck.
Far out, man.
Oh!
Ten-inch woofers.
I want to go to college.
I can't get caught with shit like this.
Okay, my friend Hesh...
says only goys and children pay retail.
This isn't wholesale,
it's totally on the arm.
Look...
You want to be a civilian,
I appreciate that.
I'm all for it.
But pay attention to me for once, okay?
You take the speakers, right?
At the same time,
you promise yourself
these speakers are it.
Now, you say to yourself,
"This is the last time
I'm ever gonna
steal something."
And you stick to it.
It's that simple.
Maybe... Maybe
I should get on top.
Agh!
Fucking Dickie Moltisanti!
It's more than a month now!
For God's sake, Corrado.
He didn't push you
down the stairs,
you slipped.
He got a good laugh out of it, though.
Any excuse not to fuck.
They don't vote
the motherfucker
out of the White House,
somebody gonna assassinate his lying ass.
Azalea, you got it!
Say, hey!
There's my farm boy
from the Garden State.
-Where's my tomatoes?
Brought you collard greens.
Ah, now you talkin'.
Sit down.
Have a hot chocolate and Baileys.
So, we square?
Ooh, Chanel.
Small bills.
You're doing good.
Soon I'll be in
the stratosphere with you.
Call me Buzz Aldrin.
Well, Buzz, gonna hype you again.
State lottery's coming.
Your woman's not gonna be
wearing French footwear
very long.
Now, with smack,
you got white kids coming in
from Long Island, New Jersey,
Westchester to the East Village,
paying 30 bucks to
stick their arm in a hole.
Invisible person
on the other side
finds a vein,
shoots 'em up...
Should tell you something
about the future.
You make a good point.
We'll talk.
Thanks.
This week I gotta...
gotta do something about
this guinea motherfucker
or he'll do me.
Ah, DiMeo?
Nah, Dickie Moltisanti.
Controls the numbers,
whole rest of Newark.
You maybe need an assist on the play?
Why would you want to do that for me?
I got my own issues
with the Five Families.
I appreciate it, Frank, but...
Terms of the community.
I'd better do this myself.
Darryl.
Merry Christmas, Buzz.
In the slipstream
of your dream
steel rims crack
in the back roads stop.
I'm so hungry.
I got news.
That beauty parlor?
I took it over.
For me?
We'll be partners.
It'll be in my name, but you'll run it.
Exactly how you want it.
I'll be hands off.
In the slipstream
of your dream
in the back roads stop.
Hey,
what did the bartender say
when the horse came in?
"Why the long face?"
You told me that a million times.
Yeah, so?
Why the long face?
I'm all, uh...
intronata.
You're mixed up? Well,
what are you mixed up about?
So many things.
Ten minutes ago, you were
laughing like an idiot.
What did I do?
The beauty parlor.
The beaut...
I thought that's what you wanted.
More than anything.
But now we partners in business.
It's like a marriage.
I'm alone so much.
I get lonely.
Maybe you didn't love me anymore.
Hey, if I don't love you anymore,
you won't mistake it for a maybe.
Someone else came along.
I said yes.
Who?
Don't make me say.
What, you said,
"Yes, come fuck me?"
Is that what
you're trying to say?
What else, yes?
It didn't mean anything, Dickie.
-I love you!
-How many times?
I don't know.
You don't know?
So many times
you can't remember?
Who was he?
-I doesn't matter, it's over!
-Who was he?
-I can't!
-Tell me! Fucking tell me.
Promise you won't hurt him!
I don't promise anything,
but you don't tell me,
it's gonna be worse.
Harold.
You fucked that murdering nigger?
But I don't love him, Dickie!
I love you! Please! Don't!
No, please! No! No!
Ah!
A girl like you
a girl like you.
One thing I still miss at Christmas...
The Seven Fishes.
My wife used to make it.
And tripe, too.
She could make
those two things,
out of this world.
You celebrate Christmas
with your goomar,
or you stick around home?
What makes you ask?
I just remember,
with my girlfriend,
it was always a big argument.
She died.
So young.
What happened?
Pneumonia.
Pneumonia?
She had weak lungs,
from growing up
on the other side.
Fucked up doctors...
So much tragedy in your life.
Your father, your mistress...
I don't even have a picture of her.
You know, I... I try so hard.
What kind of God, huh?
I go to church when Joanne wants.
I try to set an example for my nephew,
I come see you...
I do all kinds of good things.
You know the Christmas song,
"My Favorite Things"?
Yeah.
Maybe some of the things
you choose to do...
aren't God's favorite.
What are you trying to say?
What do I know?
I'm a murderer.
As far as your nephew goes...
may I make a brief suggestion
for a nice Christmas present
you could give him?
I'm listening.
Stay out of his life.
It's damaged.
And you're out of line with your prices.
Who is this?
Hey, Uncle Dick, it's Tony.
How's it going?
There's a party tonight,
and I was wondering
if we could get
a couple cases
of Rolling Rock?
Uncle Dick?
Uncle Dick?
Hello?
There's something wrong with his phone.
Your ass. Same as last time.
It doesn't have to be Rolling Rock.
Does he know that?
It's not about the fucking name brand.
Carmela, you got a dime?
Hello?
Hey, Aunt Jo. It's Tony.
Can I speak to Uncle Dick?
I haven't seen him today.
Yeah?
Well, how's Christopher?
You know, the colic?
For my money,
you kids shouldn't be
drinking at your age.
Give me the goddamn phone.
Fuck. Hey, Joe Jerk-off.
What'd you say?
I said, hey, Joe Jerk...
Your sister's twat!
What?
Stop it!
Stop it!
What do you got for us?
It's what I told you,
furniture. Ethan Allen.
Dinette sets and, uh, TV trays.
TV trays?
I didn't argue.
-Mmm.
-Fucking truck's
not gonna unload itself.
I'll let him know.
Hey, Sil, I need to talk
to my Uncle Dickie.
He's not here.
His car's here.
Battery's dead.
You know where he is?
Who am I, Rand McNally?
Okay, well...
Merry Christmas, Sil.
You too, kid.
Carmine spotted Harold,
Rockhaven Motel,
down on 46th.
Well, we'll do it tomorrow.
I'll pick you up at 10:00
at the Pork Store.
It's the kid again.
I told him you're not here.
Turn the lights out.
But the guys, they're still unloading.
You know...
The fuck are you doing?
I don't want these!
Oh! That was a gift!
You take 'em!
I don't want any part of this!
None of it! I don't
want any part of this!
Huh?
What "this"?
What "this"?
Night, Dick.
Dick...
The kid. I don't know
what happened with you two.
But he worships you.
He's got so much potential.
Anthony, with that
loony tune of a mother.
Johnny, who's in line
for a personality transplant...
-What, I'm some kind
of example?
-What can I tell you?
You're his best shot.
Ah, I should never have let this happen.
Get in close.
Dick, he misses you.
What?
Nothing.
Actually...
that's it.
Nothing.
I'm not sure I follow.
Yeah, well.
Okay.
I know I shouldn't say this, but...
Anthony, he could end up somewhere.
Be on this thing of ours, even.
Tell him Holsten's, tomorrow.
-There you go.
-Let me finish,
for Christ's sake!
9:00 a.m. No later.
This is good.
Okay.
-It's all right, but it...
-Okay!
It's over, go home.
The fuck am I doing?
This one's yours.
Help!
My God!
Mrs. Moltisanti!
Yeah?
It's done.
To Christmas?
Way of living?
To the giving.
Jun'.
To Christmas?
And left no traces...
You know, they found
a couple bottles of that Elavil
in his coat pocket.
Oh.
I used to think Dickie was so strong.
It shows you never know about people.
God, he was my favorite uncle.
Remember when he used
to take us to the movies?
Ones Mom wouldn't let us go to.
That's the guy, my uncle Tony.
The guy I went to hell for.
You'd be the chosen one
"you're one in a million,
you got to burn to shine"
Kevin, quit bouncing that ball.
Go do something useful, man.
Morning.
About right and wrong
but you're looking good, baby
you're a-feelin' fine
with a blue moon in your eyes
in your eyes
you woke up this mornin'
upside down
things ain't been the same
walked into town
but you're one in a million
shotgun shine
with a blue moon in your eyes
you wanna be the chosen one
help yourself, yeah.
Santa Susannah
Santa Copelia
Mary Angelica.
Frater Pietro.
Vladimir and all the rest
is placed upon the steps and a baby cries
the church bells start to ring
the body settles in
a mother sing
then the other
as you step out on the road.
How much?
And how far and how many times.
Calling all angels.
Don't leave me alone
you gaze upon the sunset
and intensity
crack the code
finally understand
trade in all
and suffering?
Calling all angels.
Calling all angels