The Merry Widow (1934) Movie Script

"Merry Widow"
Oh, what fun we were there
when they fall
We have a reason
that's worth marching for
Not for battle or banner or foe
but for girls...
When we're marching
we never retreat for we're
charging a foe that is swift.
But when we're caught in a swell
of the enemy's girls...
For our country
will never make war
We have a reason
that's worth marching for
Not for battle or banner or foe
but for girls...
When we're marching
we never retreat for we're
charging a foe that is swift.
But when we're caught in
the swell of the enemy's girls
then surrender to girls...
You may continue.
Thank you, madam.
Pardon me, madam
for trespassing in your estate
and intruding in your privacy.
What do you want?
I come to deliver
a confidential letter.
This is very important, Madam.
Madam Sonia
if you should ever
meet Count Danilo
let me tell you he is terrific.
What is this? Count Danilo?
That's what people said.
Danilo? Danilo?
Yes, Count Danilo.
Now, Madam, this is absolutely
between you and me.
This Count Danilo is crazy
to meet you.
He tried everything.
In fact, he's desperate.
I really feel sorry for the man,
but you're such a widow.
Pardon me, Madam, what I mean is
you live in complete seclusion
and the poor man has no chance
to meet you socially.
Well, I'm very sorry.
I never heard of the gentleman
and I'm not interested.
Oh, you will be, Madam.
The man is in such a state of man
there is no telling
what he may do.
Who is this Count Danilo?
Who wrote this letter?
I don't understand.
What do you want?
An answer. Yes or... when.
If you don't leave immediately
I shall report you to the king.
Oh, please, please.
Let me stay only a little while
and you may recommend me
to the queen.
It's hard to believe that
an officer of the royal guard...
Dares to approach the richest,
most powerful woman in the country...
And behaves like
a silly young cadet.
It's an outrage.
Now, don't get excited, please.
I am...
Unjust, that's what you are.
Put yourself in my position.
Imagine you saying all those
lovely things to me
and me wearing your mask.
Won't you spend sleepless nights
wondering what I look like?
Well, my situation is much worse.
I haven't slept for months.
Then I think
it would be very wise
if you leave immediately
and go to bed.
And dream about you.
No. No. You're cruel, Madam.
You're torturing me.
Day by day, I've been watching you
when you're riding your carriage
in the street.
I come up here every night.
I suppose I'll have to
call my servant.
They're all bribed.
Do you know I've been feeding
your dogs
with the finest imported salami
just to get quite a glimpse of you
and what do I see?
Your lovely little hands,
your dainty little feet and yet
the most beautiful thing.
Stop it.
Tell me. You're eyes.
Are they blue or brown?
Are you pretty or beautiful?
No. This is no time for joking.
I have been in many situations
but this is too much.
There's not a window in Marshovia
that I haven't jumped out.
I've got around
every kinds of band
but here I'm block. By what?
By your piece of flimsy material.
Oh, please. Have mercy.
Leave the veil between us, Madam.
Be a nice girl.
My dear Count, I'm very sorry
to be the cause of your suffering.
But, no... I...
But unfortunately, we are
in Marshovia and I am a widow.
Why don't you throw away
this old custom of ours?
And take off my veil.
I'd do it in a minute
if there is any reason for it
or the slightest temptation,
but there isn't.
Maybe you can't see me very well?
Oh, yes. In fact, too well.
I'll admit you're very funny
but not terrific.
Not even carousal.
Madam, I want you to understand
once and for all.
Our romance is over.
Don't count on it any further.
I've tried to bring the moonlight
into your eyes
but you pull down the shade.
Alright. Forget me, if you can.
Go back to your solitude.
Put on your loveliest negligee
and wish yourself good night.
And please, don't include me even
in your dreams, will you?
Good night.
Well? I'm afraid not again.
Come, Muska.
No more salami.
A night in romance
is underlying done,
in vain through my window
the moonlight is drawn.
Oh, Viria, oh, Viria, oh, yes,
that's my tune.
I love the shepherd who run for
the truth.
Viria, oh, Viria,
don't leave me alone.
My little, my little love to you.
Viria, oh, Viria.
I'm waiting for love,
lonely without thee was I.
Viria, oh, Viria,
don't leave me alone.
Love goes to love
and my heart is your own.
Viria, oh. Viria,
don't leave me alone.
Lonely with only my song.
Lonely without thee.
Good night. Good night, madam.
Oh, just a minute,
before I forget. Melissa?
Yes, Madam.
Would you ask the secretary
to find out
the address of a certain, ah,
of a certain, ah,
what's his name? Count Danilo.
Oh, Count Danilo lives
in Queen's Avenue.
No. 25, second floor, apartment B
Thank you. Never mind.
That's all.
Good night, Madam.
Good night, Madam.
Good night, Madam.
I thought that this day
could be the day
when my heart would find
your love, your love again.
I thought that this day
would be the day
and my heart would learn to dance
dance again.
It was all just a fleeting dream.
Men are not, not what they seem.
And this beautiful day
only taught me to regret
but tonight will teach me
to forget.
I lay await, he's forgetting me.
It was just not meant to be.
And so it is, I must close my book
on dreams
and I sealed it with regret
and forget.
Madam Menosca. Yes, madam.
My new dress. Yes, madam.
Get everything ready.
We're going to Paris tomorrow,
tomorrow morning,
as soon as possible. Yes, madam.
There's a limit to every widow.
The melody of laughter flowed
many times that
it flows here many times
Pretty lover, your pearls
and your lavander,
soon will enlighten the eye
of each cavalier.
Around a lei of roses and glances
and he glances like romances
once again I meant to be melody
of love in Paris in the spring.
Who is it?
It's your suspenders, your Majesty
Any news, your Majesty.
Conditions are bad. Terrible.
What do you hear?
Well, you see, your Majesty.
After all,
we're a sheep and cow country.
Who's complaining now?
The shepherds.
I overheard two shepherds
in the street yesterday.
What did they say?
Now, tell me...
The opinion of the shepherd on
the street,
that's what I want to know.
They say when the richest woman
gets fed up in the country
and leaves.
Ah. So they're blaming me
for everything.
They're even telling jokes
about your Majesty.
Are they funny? That's bad.
If conditions don't improve,
the shepherds are going
to organize
They say there's already
some talk of black sheep movement.
Were they prominent shepherds?
Couple of East side shepherds.
Intellectuals? Yes.
Let them talk.
Are you staying out late tonight,
You ought to know
how it is these cabinet meetings.
Do you think
it will last all night?
Now, please don't bother me.
Too enough
to have a widow in Paris
to worry about without having
a Queen in bed nagging me.
Widow. Widow. That's all I hear.
A king worrying about a widow.
Not a widow. The widow.
The richest widow in the world.
In Europe.
Well, anyhow, she owns more than
half of Marshovia.
Do you realize that she is
in every cow
in the country for 52 percent?
But you belong to me,
don't you, darling?
Read this telegraph from
our ambassador in Paris.
Widow sensation in Paris.
Fortune hunters are arriving
daily. Marriage in the air.
Unless Marshovia acts quickly,
fear national fortune goes into
foreign hands.
I know what to do
but am too old to do it.
Darling, how late do you think
you'll be denied?
let me pump this into your head.
You and I are living on her taxes.
If she doesn't come back,
if she withdraws her money from
the country,
the National Bank will close.
The country goes bankrupt.
There will be a revolution.
Then we'll be trampled from
our throne.
Ugly. Something must be done.
Something will be done.
And tonight. This is a secret.
The cabinet figures that we have
to meet foreign competition.
we're sending a special envoy.
A real man who is not too old.
And knows what to do.
Of course.
The man must be charming,
So she falls in love with him.
And he brings her back to
Who are you going to send?
Well, we're considering
Count Gabrilovetch.
Now tell me.
If you weren't married,
if you weren't my wife,
could you fall for Gabrilovetch?
If I weren't married,
if I have to do over again and
have the choice
between you and Gabrilovetch,
frankly, I'll take you.
That shows you
how I think of Gabrilovetch.
He's out.
Who else have you got?
Well, there's Gabrilovetch,
Jerjosh and Mentroloski.
I'll still take you.
Oh, you'll have to
do better than that.
That's what I say,
but the Prime Minister,
he depends too much on
his wife's judgment.
But I say no politics at a time
like this. Let the best man win.
That's what the meeting is for.
I'm expecting a real fight.
Darling, do you think
it will take you all night?
And I could have married
the sultan's daughter.
Good night, dear.
Please, I beg of you.
Control yourself.
And you, too.
I never shriek, your Majesty.
Walls have ears.
You think your servants
hide anything?
Oh. My good name.
Your Majesty,
may I make a suggestion?
What is it?
Let's fool them.
Let's make a rich conversation.
Let's pretend to be social.
I'll take my hat off you,
your majesty.
We're having a good time.
Fine. Fine.
That's enough.
Let's not make a big win.
That'll settle
the servant problem
Now, let's keep this scandal
between you and you and me.
This must be kept out of history.
Not a soul must know.
Nobody. I swear, not a soul.
We were planning not even to tell
your majesty, isn't that right?
That's the spirit.
Now listen, you.
Be careful.
A firing squad is
too good for you.
you'll be taken to the mountains.
First, your ears will be cut off.
I'll attend to you later.
Yes, master.
No. No, Dolores. That's not right
You know well enough that
I have to go down in history
as Augment the Great.
And how do you cooperate?
Falling in love with the Captain
of the Guard. Oh.
That's hitting below the crown.
You're wrong, Augment.
You're wrong.
I didn't fall in love.
I was defending myself
and splendidly,
but you came back too early.
You didn't give me a chance.
If you have return an hour later,
you'd have found him where
he belongs, outside the door.
How does he compare with
No comparison, but Gabrilovetch,
Zinchovitch together
and what have you?
Gabrilovetch and Zinchovitch,
but Danilo, no, no comparison.
Yes, Augment.
With my brains and your contacts,
Marshovia can't miss.
Afraid of me?
Ever live in Paris?
Oh, I spent all my holidays there,
your majesty.
Oh. So you know Paris.
Do you want some other lass,
your majesty?
No. No. I'm a married man.
Are you married?
No, your majesty.
You don't know
what you're missing.
Don't I? No, you don't.
Your majesty,
may I make a suggestion?
Let's drop the matter.
Fine. Now listen, my good fellow
You will leave tomorrow for Paris
Oh, thank you, your majesty.
On a secret mission that's right
up your boulevard.
Please, your majesty.
How is your French?
Terrific. (French)
Not bad. What does it mean?
Oh, I was just saying something
about her majesty the Queen.
Was it nice?
Lovely, isn't she.
You will leave immediately.
Yes, your majesty.
As soon as you arrive in Paris,
you will report to
the Marshovia embassy.
Our ambassador, Baron Bafbaf
will tell you the next move.
Your majesty, whatever my mission
will be, Marshovia, right or wrong,
I'll never forget your face
when you walk into that room.
Did I frighten you?
Goodbye, my majesty.
Goodbye, my boy.
What's new?
I overheard two girls
on the streetcar.
They were talking about you.
What did they say?
They were telling stories
about you.
Were they funny?
Well, they must have been.
You see, I don't understand French
but the conductor did,
so he stop the car
and throw them out.
That's Paris.
City of girls on
their own private.
I'm going to Maxim's.
But aren't you going to report
to the embassy, sir.
Tomorrow morning.
I'm going to Maxim's.
But, sir.
I'm going to Maxim's,
where all the girls are queens.
Each kiss goes on the wine list
and mine is quite a fine list.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo,
Mango, Crucru.
We promise to be faithful
until the night is through.
A melody of laughter,
loud and many times,
that is laugh with many times.
My dear, my friend, my lover
and you soon will enrapture
the eye of each cavalier.
Yes, ma'am.
I'll be ready in a moment.
Thank you, madam.
Around a lei of roses,
wine and dances, manly glances,
sideway glances.
Once again, I will...
Yes, madam.
What are your plans for
the evening?
We'll go to Cait d'Pate to dine,
then to the opera.
We should get there at nine.
Then a late supper
at the Grand Hotel.
When it's midnight
and all is well,
then we'll dance,
if you're willing.
How mad, how wild, how thrilling.
I'm going to Maxim's,
where all the girls are queens,
Each kiss goes on the wine list
and mine is quite a fine list.
Close the window.
Oh, why don't you...
I'll stay on at Maxim's
until the morning beams,
when I am feeling so good be sure
I'm out for no good.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo, Mango,
Wake your young man, please do.
Come on.
Don't spare the horses
and drive me to Maxim's.
Where is he going?
What did he say?
I think he said Maxim's.
He's going there it seems.
I heard that's where a man
can see ladies dance the can-can.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju,
or any name will do.
True love is on a thousand
and the best one goes to Maxim's.
We can't go to Maxim's.
Not in my wildest dream.
There's nothing shown there and
we are too unknown there.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo,
Mango, Crucru,
we promise to be faithful
until the night is true.
Count Danilo.
Lulu. Please.
Did you say something?
You better not.
Are you looking for trouble?
No Good.
What if I am looking for trouble?
Oh, shut up.
I won't shut up.
Go home, you old fool.
Stop. How dare you?
My seconds will call on you,
Very well, monsieur.
I wouldn't bother.
Now, listen.
Who is that old goat?
He's some ambassador from, ah...
You understand.
This whole thing is a government
secret of the highest importance.
Yes, your excellency.
Well. Tomorrow night, the embassy
is giving a big reception in
her honor.
Does she see well off?
No. No. No. No.
Is she beautiful?
She owns fifty-two percent of
Marshovia so she is beautiful.
If you like her or not,
you love her.
This is called patriotism.
Have you ever had diplomatic
relations with a woman?
Oh, well. Anyhow, these are
the plans for tomorrow night.
Before you arrive,
she must have a very dull time,
so that you can shine by contrast
Therefore, for the first half hour
I will entertain her personally.
After listening to me for
15 minutes,
she will be completely bored.
Then we dance, after five minutes
dancing with me,
widow needs fresh air.
Exit to garden.
Now, and now,
she gets the big thrill.
I leave her.
She's alone in the garden.
It'll be a moonlight night.
I'll see to that.
I mean, it'll look like it.
And the next thing,
you come over the garden wall.
Danilo. Danilo.
How are you? How are you?
Oh, fine.
How are you?
Danilo. Danilo. Danny.
Stay here or I'll kill you.
I don't like her.
I once have a wonderful girl.
Girls. Girls.
It's good to be back.
Mimi, Gigi, Pipi, Fufu.
Do you still have that
frightful chauffeur?
With all the cushions.
Good. Juju, Dodo, Miji,
I gained five pounds.
They're all mine.
And Margo.
Margo with the same sweet dimple.
How's your young lady?
Still grouching?
A- ha.
And Gaches,
are your garter still blue?
Baby blue.
Do you still cry
when you love somebody?
Did you miss me, girls?
And I miss you.
All of you, Mimi, Kiki, Fufu.
Oh, it's great to be loved.
Just a minute.
Don't stand in the entrance.
Go over to table fifteen.
Order lots of champagne.
Any Americans here tonight?
I don't know.
Peculiar, ha?
Look who's here. Danilo.
There are girls in the wild
and its wet.
There's two things that
we live to regret.
Let me dance till
the restaurant's close.
With the girls, girls, girls,
girls, girls.
Where there's wine
and women and song.
It is wrong not to
do something wrong.
When you do something wrong,
you must do something right.
And I'm doing it right tonight.
I say.
Oh, terrific.
Remember, last year?
Do I.
Pretty, isn't it?
He gave it to me.
Not bad. Who's she?
She's new here.
What's your name, deary?
Well, Fifi.
Who is he?
Don't you know me?
She doesn't know me.
You don't know him?
It's Danilo.
Danilo? Wait a minute.
Aren't you the man
who gave me this bracelet?
Oh, listen.
If I gave you the bracelet,
you'd remember it.
And besides, he doesn't give
any bracelets.
Shall we sit down?
Well, there's not much going on
here tonight.
You're Americans.
Are you a banker?
I was just in a mood for banker.
You understand, don't you?
Sure. Sure.
I didn't mean to
hurt your feeling.
It's alright. Really.
Not bad. Come on.
Sit down. Waiter.
Yes, madam.
Lots of champagne.
Yes, madam.
You're the freshest Fifi
I ever met.
I am nice Fifi.
How nice?
Not too nice.
Your right eye says yes
and your left eye says no.
Fifi, you're cockeyed.
Quite right.
For instance, at the moment,
I'm looking at someone else,
and what's more,
let go of my hands.
You're charming,
fascinating, delightful.
Stop kicking me.
Stop pinching me. That's better.
Now, you're behaving
like a gentleman.
Give me back my shoe.
Girls on my table don't look at
other men, you understand?
I'm not your slave.
After all, we're living in 1885.
Shut up.
Number seven.
To the private dining room
Oh, no. I never go to
private dining rooms.
I don't want to act the lady but...
May I put it down?
And now, Fifi, if you feel in
the mood for banker,
the door is not lock.
What's the matter?
Great man.
His only mistake was he attacked
too early.
That's how I lost Waterloo.
Oh, now, listen.
I want mine to be kissing.
I want to enjoy sometime,
but this is absolutely
demoralizing you.
First, it's the Turk,
now it's Napoleon.
Well, I'll give you Napoleon.
You can have him all night,
and see if you can see his head
off the second button.
Anything wrong?
Now it's impossible.
I take her upstairs and just
when I am about to be nice to her
she stops to
talk about another man.
Shame on you.
Why, the girl has
no etiquette. Come on.
Would you like to dance?
Not a word. Have I hurt you?
Yet I know.
You have not told me,
but you hold me for I know.
Words I haven't spoken,
yet I know you hear.
Music find your heart's reply
I love you, dear.
Yes, Fifi.
Do you love me?
Certainly. Why not?
Oh, you don't understand.
I mean, do you love me?
How long is forever with you?
What a funny question?
Has nobody asked you that before?
Oh, not at Maxim's.
You like Maxim's girls best,
don't you?
Of course, I do.
Where in the world can you find
girls so beautiful, so charming,
who can dance like you, girl,
who can smile like you.
Ah, you're wonderful.
And let me tell you something,
Fifi. Stay just what you are.
Have you met a society woman?
Well, you haven't miss a thing.
You don't like ladies?
Yes. Yes, I like them.
They are nice but they take love
too seriously.
They can't enjoy it without
bothering about tomorrow.
You mean,
they're hard to get rid off.
Right. And the silly questions
they asked. Do you love me?
And then you have to lie, yes,
certainly, of course.
And then they'll ask you again,
do you really love me?
No, really...
Oh. Well, may I ask who you are?
Just one of those women
who ask silly questions,
and then you have to lie.
Do you still want me to stay?
Oh, I wouldn't let you go for
anything in the world.
But, what if I should bother you
what if I should be hard to
get rid off?
Is that all you can say?
A very clear answer.
No, Fifi.
Fifi. That's all you really want.
That's all women is to you.
Your Fifi. You great lover.
Oh, please.
You don't even know what love is.
Please. Please.
Don't spoil this evening.
Spoil this evening, oh no, I won't.
You came here to have
a great time, didn't you?
Well, you'll have it.
You won't be cheated.
Kiki, Margo, Cloclo, Marsel.
Now, listen.
Girls, the gentleman wants to
be entertained.
Here they are.
All your little tonight
and not a tomorrow among them.
Goodnight, deary.
I deserve your scolding.
I should have known better.
Goodbye to you, Maxim's.
I've got to live in dream.
You give me what a splendid,
but now the game has ended.
I give you to Zuzu, Cloclo, Margo
Crucru, but I have lost its spirit
I leave Maxim's to you.
I could not believe it all,
but that's all widows are given.
And if you're poor ones
or the rich ones,
we much more attractive that way.
We are a widow, a merry widow,
a merry widow, like as before.
Where is Captain Danilo?
He, ah...
Don't lie to me. Where is he?
He left.
He left?
He left.
How long ago?
You mean he hasn't come back
since last night?
Yes, sir.
Oh. Oh. Oh, dear, dear.
What am I going to do with her?
Please, don't kill her.
Forgive her, sir.
I'm sure
she can explain everything.
Your wife, sir.
Who do you think I am?
The husband, aren't you?
I am the Marshovian ambassador.
Oh. Then I must tell the truth.
Yes, what is it?
Captain Danilo left last night
and he hasn't come back.
Oh. What will I do?
What will I do?
If you don't mind, sir,
I still say forgive her.
I'm not married.
I'm not looking for my wife.
I'm looking for Captain Danilo.
Where is he?
Your excellency,
you may think I'm stubborn,
but he left last night
and he hasn't come back.
You find him.
You go to every nightclub,
every cafe, every... Here.
Here are some addresses.
If Captain Danilo doesn't appear
immediately here in the embassy,
he'll be court marshaled
Oh, yes, your excellency.
Don't you lose those addresses.
No, your excellency.
Captain. Captain. It's me.
Miska, Captain. Miska.
Yes. Your uniform. Uniform.
Uniform for your captain.
Court marshal, captain.
Nice, captain.
Nice, captain. Nice, captain.
He won't let me put on
his uniform.
Come on, hush.
No... I'm not going
to make love to that widow.
Can you imagine ordering someone
to make love?
That's the army.
I never heard of such a thing
and I've been with
the army all my live.
Do you have to marry her, Danilo?
It's a secret.
Don't tell it, Captain.
It's a secret.
If I don't marry her, Marshovia,
Marshovia will be bankrupt.
That's a secret, too.
And I'm not going to tell you.
He'll be court marshaled
if he did not go.
Fifi. Where are you, Fifi?
If she really loves you,
she'll come back,
but she's not a lady.
I once knew a lady
who came back twice.
Alright. Alright. I'm not going.
He's going to be shot.
Please tell him to go
to the embassy.
No, I won't. I won't.
Maxim's. That's where Fifi is.
I'm going to Maxim's
and nothing can stop me.
I'm going to Maxim's.
Any news?
No, your excellency.
Is this him?
No. No. No. Didn't I tell you
exactly what he looks like?
Yes, sir.
Oh. Just a moment. Don't...
I'm not going to make love with
that widow.
Another a cup of coffee.
I'm perfectly sober.
Drink it.
I'm in full possession of
all my sanity.
Drink it.
But I'm not going to make love
with the widow.
Drink that coffee.
I'm in love with another woman.
Who is she?
I don't know.
Drink that coffee.
No. Drink that coffee.
I'm a soldier. I'm an officer.
My duty is to fight.
I'm willing to die on
every battlefield,
but I'm not going to drink
another cup of coffee.
In the name of his majesty,
King Augment the Second,
Commander-in-Chief of the Army,
High Admiral of the Navy,
drink that coffee.
Now, you stay here
and face the widow.
And now, we come to
the room, madam,
where King Augment say
to Queen Dolores
for the first time,
the historic words "I love you".
Please, madam.
Well. What a surprise.
Captain Danilo.
Well, of all people.
How did you get here?
When did you arrive?
Oh, yes, what a coincidence.
What a coincidence.
I thought he was in Marshovia.
And yes, Captain Danilo.
Madam Sonia,
may I present my dearest friend,
none other than Captain Danilo.
What a pleasure, madam.
It is?
It's small, it's afraid.
Meeting you is the greatest good
that would happen to me.
Madam, may I ask a favor?
Shall I lift my veil, Captain?
Oh, no, madam. No.
I don't jump over
the garden walls anymore.
Since when?
Since yesterday.
I fell in love with a girl madly,
but she disappeared.
And you, madam,
are the only one in the world
that can help me find her.
Her name is Fifi.
Fifi is no more. You killed her.
After she left you last night,
she came home
and committed suicide.
She jumped into cold bath,
and you'd be surprised, Captain,
what a cold water can do.
Just a moment.
Another telegram to his majesty.
Following his accurate statement
of happenings.
Copy word. Introduction performed
Widow accused Danilo of murder
but was willing to lift veil.
Couldn't understand the rest of
conversation as both talked
in code, and shhhh...
At the moment, both are standing
in the garden door.
If he could only get her into
the garden,
he whisper something in her ear.
Apparently, something nice.
She gets very angry
in fact, she's furious.
She opens the garden door.
She goes into the garden.
He follows.
Victory. Victory. Victory.
I love you, Sonia.
Well, I noticed it last night.
Oh, please. I'm mad about you.
Everybody is.
I've heard it at least
a hundred times tonight,
and everybody wants to marry me.
There must be something wonderful
about me.
What is it that fascinate
all these men?
What can it be?
Is it my charm, or my beauty, or
do you suppose it's my position?
You mean, your money?
I don't know about the other men,
but with me,
it's strictly your money
and nothing else.
I believe you.
I knew you would.
That's why I said it.
If you have told me last night
who you were,
if I had only know that I had in
my arms the richest widow, I'll...
What did you come to
Maxim's for anyway?
Oh, I see. Just like a man,
looking for a thrill.
Goodbye, Captain.
A telegram to his majesty.
Just came out of the strawberry.
Big doings in garden.
Overheard whole scene
but could not understand a word
because wind was against me,
and yet...
Telegram, your excellency.
It's from his majesty.
It's in code.
Zizipoff. Get your excellency.
The first word is Darling.
What does it mean?
Da... Da... Darling,
I consider you the greatest idiot
in the diplomatic service.
What is the next word,
your excellency?
Lilac time.
Lilac time.
Yes, your excellency.
Go to my bedroom.
In the cabinet behind
his majesty's picture,
there's a little brown bottle
of poison.
Throw it away.
It's protective measure.
Yes, your excellency.
Read it again, slowly.
I consider you the greatest idiot
in the diplomatic service.
A diplomat who does not know
what is going on under
his very roof is unfit
to be under the lower name
of Potpot.
It is hard to believe that
you are the son of
the great statesman, Potpot.
But, Potpot or no Potpot,
I consider you the greatest idiot
in the diplomatic service.
Now, listen, Potpot.
Danilo gives secret away to
Maxim's girls,
secret all over terrace.
Local Marshovian newspapers read
information by telegraph.
Opposition paper will print story
tomorrow. Speedo.
Bring forth the marriage
or everything lost.
She must be married tonight.
Therefore, act quickly.
Be brilliant, be creative.
Kill umas. Admit nothing.
Deny everything. Avail crisis.
Face fact. Stand fast.
Something lost
if we don't do it now.
What are you waiting for. Augment
You still like Maxim's girls?
I love you and only you, darling.
Please believe me.
Ask me anything you want.
All my silly questions?
Yes. About tomorrow,
about all the days after tomorrow
Ask me anything, everything.
But please, believe me.
I do believe you because
I want to believe you.
Ladies. Ladies and gentlemen.
I have to honor to announce
the coming marriage
and the present engagement of
the charming Marshovian lady,
Madam Sonia,
and our own Captain Danilo,
captain of the royal guard.
It's a love match.
How does he know?
How does anyone know except you
and me?
Captain Danilo,
would you be good enough to come
to his excellency immediately?
Yes, Danilo?
Would you wait here for me?
Of course.
Your excellency, how dare you
made such an announcement.
How dare you.
Do you know whom you're talking?
To the biggest idiot.
You read the telegram.
What telegram?
Here. Here. Read it.
It's unbelievable.
An officer giving away
a government secret
to a lot of Maxim's girls.
All Paris knows this.
it'll be in all the papers.
If the widow ever finds out that
this is a conspiracy,
that the government sends you here
she'll call off the marriage,
and the next thing she'll take
her money out of Marshovia,
then where will we be?
You have to marry her tonight.
Act quickly, be brilliant.
Act quickly, meet crisis,
deny everything, stand fast.
Something must be done.
Do it. Do it now.
What are you waiting for?
Your excellency. Shut up.
Sonia, you're crying.
I'm crying because I'm happy.
Why shouldn't I be happy?
Yes, Danilo.
There is something,
something I must tell you.
Please. Just a moment.
You love me, don't you?
Yes, I do. I do love you.
You don't have to convince me.
I know it, and the Maxim's girls,
all Paris, the whole world,
everybody knows you love me.
And everybody knows why.
Well, Captain, go ahead,
I'm waiting.
I love to hear you lie.
Have you nothing to say to me?
Nothing, madam,
that you would believe.
Goodbye, Captain.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I wish to correct
a misunderstanding.
The announcement of
Madam's engagement
has been made without
Madam's knowledge or consent.
I am speaking for Madam Sonia
when I said Madam
has never entertained
the slightest thought of
such an engagement.
Madam, there is nothing left
to be said.
I shall make no attempt
to explain.
I know it's all over.
There's only one thing I want to
say before I go.
I love you, Fifi.
Now, what do you expect me to do?
Fall in your arms?
Marshovia has elected
the right man.
You're brilliant, Captain,
too brilliant.
Sorry, Captain.
In the name of your majesty,
you're under arrest.
You leave for
Marshovia immediately.
Well, gentlemen, shall we dance?
Oh, please, madam.
Open the gate for moment,
for gay time is in Paris
and play time
with the man of sincerity,
and he tells you he loves you
What a pretty thing to see,
Paris in the spring.
High officer, Captain Danilo.
Widow has lost company.
King denies heart attack.
King denies heart attack.
Yes, sir.
King denies heart attack.
Widows withdraws many
from country.
Keep the change.
Thank you, sir.
What are we going to do?
If the widow doesn't change
her mind,
we can close up the country.
Oh, Dolores, Dolores.
Looks like exile to me.
The cannon just announced
the opening of the trial.
Thank you, Gabrilovitch.
In the name of His majesty,
I herewith open the trial of
the State of Marshovia versus
Captain Danilo.
Would you be good enough
to remove all the livestock in
the court room?
Bring in the prisoner.
Bring in the witnesses
and exhibits.
In the name of the State,
I accuse Captain Danilo of
high treason, failing his duty.
State is going to prove that
this man who lives was always was
a madness to Marshovia,
with no respect for the sanctity
of home,
not even stopping on garden walls
Exhibit Two.
Now, generals of the jury.
I will prove this Exhibit...
Your honor, I object.
I object this witness
being called an Exhibit.
She's an Exhibit.
She's a witness.
She is not. She is.
Objection sustain.
From now on, the prosecution
will refer to Exhibit Number Two
as Witness Number One.
Your honor, when I read
the charges against Count Danilo,
I realize this case concerns me,
so I came here from Paris.
May I have the opportunity
to testify?
The court appreciates
your patriotism, Madam.
Please, Madam.
Madam, will you tell the generals
of the jury,
in your own charming way,
everything you knew about
this case.
As I understand it,
you are charging the defendant
for neglecting his duty
and being a traitor to his country
Your honor, you are accusing
an innocent man.
He did everything in his power to
be true to Marshovia,
and betrayed me.
Don't put him in jail.
Give him a medal, a monument,
set him as an example.
A Marshovian patriot who stopped
at nothing.
He did do his duty.
He used every strategy,
every trick.
He lied, he deceive me,
he played with emotions, romance,
he was willing to break a woman's
heart just to proceed
what he is instructed.
Your honor, may I be permitted
to cross-examine the witness?
Witness is yours.
So I lied to you.
I was playing you games.
Nothing else.
When I danced with you,
I was only thinking of
your millions.
And when you took me in your arms
I was following instructions.
And when I kissed you.
That's was the biggest lie of all
That's all I want to know.
I'm guilty.
Guilty of treason, failing in
duty, of everything you want.
But most of all,
I'm guilty of being your fool.
Once in my life, I lost both
my heart and my head.
Therefore, I should be punished
without mercy.
Let my fate be a warning to
every men, any man,
who can dance through life with
hundreds of women,
and is willing to walk through
life with one, should be hanged.
The widow.
Something must have happened
to the widow.
What? What? What?
She wants to go to jail
because of Captain Danilo.
I think... Quiet.
Racheski, Gabrico.
Yes, your majesty.
My horse.
Yes, your majesty.
Now, are you a friend of
the captain, madam?
Not exactly.
A relative?
But you knew him before,
didn't you?
Oh, yes.
you wouldn't recognize him now.
He's a changed man.
Did you hear the story
about the warden's daughter?
Well, last night,
the warden's daughter
brought his supper personally
into his cell.
And what happened.
I'm telling you,
he's a changed man.
But here we are.
But, he isn't here.
It looks that way.
Don't worry about that.
He always come back.
Just make yourself comfortable.
He's not here.
When do you expect him back?
I don't know.
Well, anyway, tell him
there's a big party going on
in the women's ward.
I'm sorry.
I was chased by a mouse.
From your estate all the way
here to the prison.
What a mouse.
You don't think I came here
To see me? No.
Yes, I came to see you and to
leave with you one message.
Tonight, there's a party going
on in women's ward. Goodbye.
Your majesty, not even Napoleon
could have thought of this.
Thank you.
The plan can't fail.
They can't get out,
that's what they're in for.
Now, put ourselves in their place.
We both have a quarrel
and now we're locked in.
At first, we don't talk at all,
then I'll tell you what I think
of you, and then you tell me
what you think of me.
Oh, no, your majesty.
I wouldn't dare.
That's right.
Well anyhow, we're in the cell.
We can't quarrel all night
and as time passes,
I begin to realize that after all
you're a woman.
And above all, I begin to realize
you're a man.
Right. And still more,
you're a gorgeous woman.
And as for me,
You're wonderful, your majesty.
Thank you.
That's Marshovia.
The minute you go to party,
and people can't get out.
Oh, you're not so innocent.
What? You did the whole thing.
Did what?
You bribed the jailer to
lock you here with me.
I have to apologize,
you didn't bribe the jailer.
It's a conspiracy.
Against both of us.
They want us to fall for
each other.
We are threat.
Oh. But this is terrible.
What are we doing to do?
Oh, now, darling. You can't cry.
I beg your pardon. Let's calm down
Let's keep cool. I have it.
Let's fool them.
Let's fall for each other.
That should be easy.
Really? Why should two people
who hate each other
Love each other.
Right. Why then? Let's not do it.
We won't.
Let's drink to that.
May our hearts remain as cold as
the champagne.
Could be a little bit cooler.
Oh, please.
Any man who can dance through
life with a hundred women
And is willing to walk through
life with one should be married.
Captain Danilo, do you take...
Yes, certainly.
Of course.
The End