The Mollusk Murders (2024) Movie Script
[no audio]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
When I wiped the lipstick across
the mirror, I tried to erase not just my
reflection, but the
illusion of normalcy that
began to crumble the
day I didn't get the job.
These are extraordinary.
[dramatic music]
This is exactly what we are looking for.
Roger is going to love you.
Really?
Of course. You're his
type. Your compositions are perfect.
I've been in this business for a
long time, and these is something special.
I don't know what to say.
Now I know that you're freelance, but I'll
need you to start
full-time for our catalog.
Do you currently have any bookings?
Quite a few, but it's
okay. I can reschedule them.
You are aware that
this is more than 9 to 5.
However, in most cases,
it's going to be all the weekends.
I'm fine with that. I live to work.
I'm extremely glad to
hear that, because you will be
busy. We're putting out
the catalog's online monthly.
No print?
Not practical in today's web-driven world.
I want you to start coming in this Monday.
Great. I look forward to it.
Good. Very good.
Oh well. I have to go. But
you rest up. Have a great weekend.
This was a pleasure, Carol.
Mine. You will be
great. I'll see you on Monday.
[upbeat music]
[camera clicks]
[camera clicks]
True sex. No way. You
better get out of modeling.
Please tell me you got out of here.
Yeah. The guy was a sleazy model fucker.
Oh, and he smelled.
It's hard. It's really hard out there.
Show me dangerous.
That's it. That's it.
That looks good.
Think Catherine
Tramiel from Basic Instinct.
Okay Okay.
Look dangerous.
They're all vultures. All of them.
Do you know Frank? Frank?
Yeah, like Frank's at Amazon Studios?
Oh yeah. Yeah. What about him?
He screws all his models.
I wanted to get away with it.
Bring the knife up
a little bit. That's it.
Look dangerous.
Convince me your threat.
Some of these new girls are fucking dumb.
[upbeat music]
He tried to proposition me.
Really?
Mm-hmm. Let's just say it
didn't work out so well for him.
Slay.
Look bad. That's it. That's it.
Nice.
You're a killer, honey.
[laughs] A killer.
Yeah, I like that. I like that.
Sarah, what time Do I have you done for?
Two thirty.
Great. I'm not
going to be long with Stacy.
(buzzer)
Food's here.
Oh, my oysters are here.
Oysters?
Do that again.
Do what again?
With the oysters.
Hold it up to your mouth.
And then open your
mouth a little bit. That's it.
Nice.
Stick your tongue out.
And now suck it back.
Beautiful.
Mm.
Faye, please have one.
No, it's okay.
Oh, come on. Try one.
My mother says I'm allergic to them.
Besides, they're
supposed to make you go crazy.
Okay, that sounds
like some old wives' tale.
Have you ever actually tried one?
No.
Then how do you know you're allergic?
Good point.
I think you should try one.
No, it's okay.
Oh, come on. Try one.
No, no, no.
Come on. I'll help you.
Trust me. It'll change you.
No.
Okay, come on. On the count of three.
One.
Two.
Three.
Wow.
Told you so.
Wow.
That was amazing.
Stacy, you're still here?
Yes.
You feel good about todays shoot, right?
Yeah, I thought it was great.
Thanks for doing it.
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah.
Okay, I gotta run.
See ya.
See ya.
[suspenseful music]
That night, I had a dream.
I was about to enjoy a plate of oysters.
Suddenly, my nose
just starts gushing blood,
splattering all over the oysters.
Amidst the confusion, I heard a voice say,
"I paid you on the shore."
[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hello Faye?
Good morning, Carol. I was
just getting ready to head over.
Oh Dear, we have a problem.
What's the problem?
Unbenoumced to me Roger has
decided to go with someone else.
Oh, I see.
Sorry darling. I really
wanted you for this position.
Okay.
You take care now.
Okay, bye.
[soft dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
[music] Hello, everybody.
Join me next time when I'm
going to make something special.
It's the season of the Mollusk,
and what better way to celebrate it
by making this famous
dish, the oyster Rockefeller.
This recipe is so
simple you cannot gonna believe it.
So we're going to make a little food,
drink a little wine, and have a good time.
Don't forget to squash that button
and subscribe to my world of food.
[instrumental music]
Hey, it's the wacky chef.
This is what we're preparing today.
That's it. Nothing more.
Nothing less That's all I have for you.
Enjoy! Don't
forget to like and subscribe,
or I'll find you!
[soft instrumental music]
Did you find
everything you were looking for?
Yes, thank you.
Would you like a bag?
Sure, that'd be great.
Hello everybody,
welcome back to Taste Trek Podcast.
Today we're navigating the
thin line between being a true foodie
and slipping into
the realm of the food snob.
It's a nuanced journey, so let's
unpack what sets these two apart
and how the cherished culture of
cuisine is now losing our authentic edge.
Being a foodie is all
about passion and curiosity for food,
means diving into flavors,
traditions, and stories behind of a dish.
The foodie seeks to
understand and appreciate...
(music)
I love this.
Peas in a pod I tell you.
Put your heads together?
Yes, that's perfect right there.
Hold it there. Awesome.
How did you do meet anyway?
Well, it's kind of a funny story.
Not that funny.
It's funny.
I guess it is funny.
Tell her.
About a year ago, I got
dragged to a party Thursday night
and blacked out.
I apparently made out with her.
Got her number, made her
text me when she got home that night.
And I remember none of it.
And here we are.
Oh, and you guys are so happy.
The key to our
relationship is persistence.
Yours.
Are you single?
[soft instrumental music]
Do you like Barolo?
Yes.
Good evening.
What can I get you to start?
An appertif?
Barolo.
Very well.
Would you like an appetizer?
No, no, we're ready.
We'll both take the crab. It's exquisite.
Perhaps.
Might I suggest a
crisp blanc sau with the crab?
No, the Barolo is perfect for the dish.
Very well.
Yes, I changed my mind.
I'd like to have an appetizer, please.
The oysters.
Good choice.
And would you mind if I shucked myself?
What can shuck them for you?
No, no, I like to shuck them myself..
And do you happen to
have any artisan beers on tap?
We do have draft beer on tap.
Great, I'll have that, please.
Very well.
What are you doing?
What?
Did it occur to you that
maybe I didn't want the crab?
I figured you'd try
something you've never had.
How do you know I've never had it before?
And who the hell
ordered seafood with Barolo?
It's perfect with the crab. Trust me.
What if I wanted the
pasta instead of the crab?
No, you don't.
Really?
You look a little flushed.
[indistinct chatter]
Your oysters.
Very well. Enjoy.
Thank you.
What can I say? I
like to live dangerously.
Do you like oysters?
Not particularly.
I love them.
I'm not really
into bottom feeders. Thanks.
Damn, I can see my own reflection in this.
Classy.
Yeah, real classy.
Yum.
Do you want some?
[upbeat music]
You're a bottom feeder.
(grunting)
Ever been here before?
Never.
The decor in this place is to die for.
Really?
Yeah, clean and very white. Very classy.
You're putting me on, right?
What?
How are the oysters?
Divine.
Do you guys need another drink?
Yes. I feel like
an Aprolo Spritz, please.
Whoa.
Look at you.
All the martini gin?
Extra dirty.
(laughing)
Uh have you decided on your mains?
Uh, we'll need a
few more minutes. Thanks.
[indistinct chatter]
Everything here is just great.
You've had everything?
Well, almost. The saveshay
is okay, but I had a tad too meaty.
But it's made with fish, right?
I know. Isn't that wild?
So I went to this beautiful
Italian restaurant the other day.
Oh, my God. I had this
mouth-winding risotto and it made me cry
[stabbing sounds]
[footsteps]
No, no pictures of me, please.
Why not?
Because I don't like
photos, and I'd rather not
be splashed all over
your social media profile.
Thank you very much.
You'll eat them now.
No problemo.
Whoa. That looks awesome.
You can't go wrong with fish risotto.
I know, eh?
Enjoy.
Before you go, can I
trouble you for some cheese?
What's that now?
A nice fresh parmesan.
Freshly grated. Thank you.
Okay, sir. I'll be back with your cheese.
Cheese!
Great.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Can you imagine
serving this without parmesan?
So Travisty. Just simply not done.
Well, that dish and
cheese don't really go together.
What are you talking about?
They clearly complement each other.
Forget it. I clearly don't
know what I'm talking about. Never mind.
It's fine.
We all learn something new every day.
Well, you excuse me. I
gotta go visit the restroom.
Don't you go anywhere.
Don't worry.
[upbeat music]
[rock music]
[rock music]
I'm all about comfort. So for me,
no matter the season, my go-to is a classic
shepherd's pie. Some people like to
make shepherd's pie with chicken or beef.
I'm here to let you
know the only way to make
an authentic
shepherd's pie is with ground lamb.
Add some veg.
[bright music]
Pour in some wine and cook it all down.
Coat it with a good mash.
Put it in the oven.
[bright music]
[bright music]
There you have it.
The perfect comfort food.
Just don't forget to wait for
it to cool down before you dig in.
That's all for the wacky chef. Be
sure to like, subscribe, and all that junk.
[Music]
Well, if it's Monday and if
it's fall, it must be time for stew.
Beef, carrot, onion, celery.
I bet I can make it in 30 seconds.
[Music]
There we are, was that too fast for you?
Watch the video again and
see if you can make your own.
That's all for now on the wacky
chef. Be sure to like and subscribe.
[bright music]
[soft music]
[soft music]
[soft music]
Hello. Hi. You know, I didn't think
the address you gave me was your apartment.
Well, I shoot all my
videos here. I welcome my home studio.
Where's your crew?
No crew, just me. Can I
offer you a glass of Prosecco?
It's only 11 a.m.
Would you prefer a mimosa?
No, Prosecco's fine.
All right.
Thank you.
You like oysters?
Like them? No, I love them.
Well, that's good.
Let me shuck them for you.
Sure. Thank you.
Oh, hang on a sec.
Hit him with that.
Okay.
[smacking]
Holy shit. That's amazing.
Yeah. Holy shit, right?
It's really good. Wow.
It is good, yeah?
Usually I just have it with beer.
Oh, this is way better.
Yeah, clearly.
So, shall we get started?
Get started?
Yeah, I thought you'd help me.
Yeah, sure. What do you want me to do?
Oh, well, you can shoot it.
The whole thing?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, sure. I would be up for it.
Cool. Sounds good.
[Music]
Hello, it's Gord, and today
the wacky chef is going to get serious.
Today I'm laying out the
tablecloth for my favorite summer dish,
which can actually be
prepared any time of year.
The star of
today's show is burrata cheese.
Fine ripener hot house
won't work for these bad boys,
but I promise you, they
pair perfectly with burrata cheese.
I've chosen the burrata
for its cream treasure inside.
[bright music]
Voila!
Done and done.
Thanks for joining us.
Don't forget to like,
subscribe, follow, all that craziness.
Now, I'm dying to dig into this.
See you next time on The Wacky Chef.
And cut.
That was awesome.
Thank you.
You want to give it a try?
Wait.
Pictures first.
Oh, yeah, of course.
[camera clicks]
So how long have you been a Paparazzo?
About 10 years now.
It suits you.
Thank you.
Take a look at these.
Oh, wow.
They're good, right?
Yeah, they're good. They're perfect.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Come on, let's eat some cheese.
Okay.
For you?
Thank you.
Oh, yeah, dig in.
Okay, I will.
Looks pretty good.
It's not bad.
Not bad?
Yeah, not bad.
Let me try it with the wine.
Yeah, yeah.
Falanghina.
It's a very citrusy.
It pairs with this so well.
Does it?
Yeah.
You're right.
It is really amazing.
It's a pretty good pairing, but, you know,
I've had better in some restaurants,
but it's a nice try.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You've had better.
Yeah, I have had better.
Well, I'll just have to do
better next time. Yeah.
And there's a lot of other
things you gotta try better next time.
[footsteps]
I'm making you dinner next time.
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, sounds good.
See you, then.
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
Hey, it's Gord, the wacky chef.
Leave your name and number, and I'll
try to get back to you as soon as I can.
Welcome back to the
Flavor Saver Notes, the podcast,
with all things delicious
and daring in the world of food.
Today, we are diving into the deep.
Bright waters of the ocean's
most intriguing offerings, the oyster.
[soft music]
Hello, it's Gord, and today
the wacky chef is gonna get serious.
The star of today's show is Barata cheese.
Fine ripen or hot house
won't work for these bad boys,
but I promise you, they
pair perfectly with Barata cheese.
[playful music]
Hello?
Hello.
Hi, Stacy.
Faye.
Yeah, I, um, I need some advice.
Okay. Is everything all right?
I don't know anymore.
Well, what's the matter?
Some guy.
Some guy.
You're dating?
I date.
I've known you for 10 years.
I can count on one hand
the number of guys you've dated.
And I'm not counting that guy from college
who didn't even know you two are dating.
You don't know what you're saying.
Hey, I'm just glad
you're finally out there.
Don't bottle up.
Come on, talk to me.
Well, this guy that I've been seeing
has been completely
ghosting me after our one date.
Well, technically it wasn't really a date.
Technically not the date?
He asked me to take
pictures of him for work
and one thing led to another.
Another?
Wait back up.
You know the wacky chef?
No.
He's a YouTuber.
He asked me to take pictures of food
and so I went up to his apartment.
Well, you went to his house?
It was work.
I'll, bet.
[playful music]
Did you guys do it?
Well, who made the first move?
That's irrelevant.
It kind of is relevant.
Ever since I've known
you, you've always been impulsive.
I don't think I'm impulsive at all.
You're a little impulsive
and there's nothing wrong with that
as long as you don't overdo it.
Well, the thing is it happened
and now he won't return
any of my calls or messages.
Well, since then have
you been calling and texting
in psycho stalker mode?
No, Part of me really
wants to, but I'm frozen.
So do you want this guy
to ask you out again or not?
I do.
Well, then you've got to
do something to get his attention
so he wants to get to know you.
I don't think he wants to see me.
You don't know that for sure.
I mean, maybe he's
busy dealing with something
that has nothing to do with you.
I hope that's all it is.
Faye, that's all it is.
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[hip hop music]
Surprise! Surprised to see me?
Yes.
I'm here to prepare you a nice dinner.
I come at a bad time?
Yes, actually.
I miss you.
What the fuck?
Hey, sorry, let me see if it's infected.
I'm making a dinner.
What are you making?
I'm making stew.
That's gonna take a while.
Not my stew, it will only take one hour.
One hour?
That's not gonna be long enough.
It'll be long enough for my stew.
It's not about the time.
It's about the
type of meat that I'm using.
What type of meat are you using?
You know what, I can't wait to try it.
Are you lying?
Am I?
[pouring wine]
Let's toast.
What are we toasting?
The fact that you've been ignoring me?
You haven't answered any of my messages.
I thought we made a
connection the other day.
There was no connection.
I think we made a connection.
Forget it, let's just toast.
So let's begin.
Let's try it.
You go first.
All right, I will.
It's yummy.
Why don't you try it?
So what do you think?
It's all right.
Just all right?
Yes.
That's it?
This isn't happening, by the way.
What do you mean?
You and me, us, it's not happening.
I thought we made a connection.
That was a mistake.
Shouldn't have happened.
Are you saying that
you don't like my cooking?
I'm being serious right now.
All right, you want the truth?
Okay.
Your cooking is, meh.
Meh?
Yes.
I mean, some of the pieces are raw
and some of them are overcooked.
I don't know how the hell you did that.
Well, maybe there's
something wrong with your oven.
There's nothing wrong with my oven.
Do you know how
much I paid for that thing?
I don't care.
What kind of seasoning is this?
What is this, fish stock?
It's chicken stock.
Chicken stock?
Why not just use
beef and these vegetables?
What about them?
Oh boy, have you never heard of salt?
They're way undercooked.
No, I believe in salt.
Vegetables are undercooked.
The meat is too tough.
That's it, that's all?
Well, it's the wrong grape for this dish.
Pinot noir with stew?
I think you confused dinner with dessert.
What about dessert?
What about it?
I hope you sent out.
There you go.
Taste it.
I just have to be clear to you.
This isn't happening.
I'm not interested in you.
You're still on that.
You leaned over my counter.
You put your knees right on
it-that changed everything.
Oh that reminds me, you still have
to pay me for work the other day
I did pay you.
No you didn't.
I paid you on the floor!
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
His blood is still drying.
The rich metallic scent
of blood is almost intoxicating.
And here I am,
thinking about a job interview
as if it mattered.
But in the end, what does?
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
[hip hop music]
When I wiped the lipstick across
the mirror, I tried to erase not just my
reflection, but the
illusion of normalcy that
began to crumble the
day I didn't get the job.
These are extraordinary.
[dramatic music]
This is exactly what we are looking for.
Roger is going to love you.
Really?
Of course. You're his
type. Your compositions are perfect.
I've been in this business for a
long time, and these is something special.
I don't know what to say.
Now I know that you're freelance, but I'll
need you to start
full-time for our catalog.
Do you currently have any bookings?
Quite a few, but it's
okay. I can reschedule them.
You are aware that
this is more than 9 to 5.
However, in most cases,
it's going to be all the weekends.
I'm fine with that. I live to work.
I'm extremely glad to
hear that, because you will be
busy. We're putting out
the catalog's online monthly.
No print?
Not practical in today's web-driven world.
I want you to start coming in this Monday.
Great. I look forward to it.
Good. Very good.
Oh well. I have to go. But
you rest up. Have a great weekend.
This was a pleasure, Carol.
Mine. You will be
great. I'll see you on Monday.
[upbeat music]
[camera clicks]
[camera clicks]
True sex. No way. You
better get out of modeling.
Please tell me you got out of here.
Yeah. The guy was a sleazy model fucker.
Oh, and he smelled.
It's hard. It's really hard out there.
Show me dangerous.
That's it. That's it.
That looks good.
Think Catherine
Tramiel from Basic Instinct.
Okay Okay.
Look dangerous.
They're all vultures. All of them.
Do you know Frank? Frank?
Yeah, like Frank's at Amazon Studios?
Oh yeah. Yeah. What about him?
He screws all his models.
I wanted to get away with it.
Bring the knife up
a little bit. That's it.
Look dangerous.
Convince me your threat.
Some of these new girls are fucking dumb.
[upbeat music]
He tried to proposition me.
Really?
Mm-hmm. Let's just say it
didn't work out so well for him.
Slay.
Look bad. That's it. That's it.
Nice.
You're a killer, honey.
[laughs] A killer.
Yeah, I like that. I like that.
Sarah, what time Do I have you done for?
Two thirty.
Great. I'm not
going to be long with Stacy.
(buzzer)
Food's here.
Oh, my oysters are here.
Oysters?
Do that again.
Do what again?
With the oysters.
Hold it up to your mouth.
And then open your
mouth a little bit. That's it.
Nice.
Stick your tongue out.
And now suck it back.
Beautiful.
Mm.
Faye, please have one.
No, it's okay.
Oh, come on. Try one.
My mother says I'm allergic to them.
Besides, they're
supposed to make you go crazy.
Okay, that sounds
like some old wives' tale.
Have you ever actually tried one?
No.
Then how do you know you're allergic?
Good point.
I think you should try one.
No, it's okay.
Oh, come on. Try one.
No, no, no.
Come on. I'll help you.
Trust me. It'll change you.
No.
Okay, come on. On the count of three.
One.
Two.
Three.
Wow.
Told you so.
Wow.
That was amazing.
Stacy, you're still here?
Yes.
You feel good about todays shoot, right?
Yeah, I thought it was great.
Thanks for doing it.
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah.
Okay, I gotta run.
See ya.
See ya.
[suspenseful music]
That night, I had a dream.
I was about to enjoy a plate of oysters.
Suddenly, my nose
just starts gushing blood,
splattering all over the oysters.
Amidst the confusion, I heard a voice say,
"I paid you on the shore."
[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hello Faye?
Good morning, Carol. I was
just getting ready to head over.
Oh Dear, we have a problem.
What's the problem?
Unbenoumced to me Roger has
decided to go with someone else.
Oh, I see.
Sorry darling. I really
wanted you for this position.
Okay.
You take care now.
Okay, bye.
[soft dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
[music] Hello, everybody.
Join me next time when I'm
going to make something special.
It's the season of the Mollusk,
and what better way to celebrate it
by making this famous
dish, the oyster Rockefeller.
This recipe is so
simple you cannot gonna believe it.
So we're going to make a little food,
drink a little wine, and have a good time.
Don't forget to squash that button
and subscribe to my world of food.
[instrumental music]
Hey, it's the wacky chef.
This is what we're preparing today.
That's it. Nothing more.
Nothing less That's all I have for you.
Enjoy! Don't
forget to like and subscribe,
or I'll find you!
[soft instrumental music]
Did you find
everything you were looking for?
Yes, thank you.
Would you like a bag?
Sure, that'd be great.
Hello everybody,
welcome back to Taste Trek Podcast.
Today we're navigating the
thin line between being a true foodie
and slipping into
the realm of the food snob.
It's a nuanced journey, so let's
unpack what sets these two apart
and how the cherished culture of
cuisine is now losing our authentic edge.
Being a foodie is all
about passion and curiosity for food,
means diving into flavors,
traditions, and stories behind of a dish.
The foodie seeks to
understand and appreciate...
(music)
I love this.
Peas in a pod I tell you.
Put your heads together?
Yes, that's perfect right there.
Hold it there. Awesome.
How did you do meet anyway?
Well, it's kind of a funny story.
Not that funny.
It's funny.
I guess it is funny.
Tell her.
About a year ago, I got
dragged to a party Thursday night
and blacked out.
I apparently made out with her.
Got her number, made her
text me when she got home that night.
And I remember none of it.
And here we are.
Oh, and you guys are so happy.
The key to our
relationship is persistence.
Yours.
Are you single?
[soft instrumental music]
Do you like Barolo?
Yes.
Good evening.
What can I get you to start?
An appertif?
Barolo.
Very well.
Would you like an appetizer?
No, no, we're ready.
We'll both take the crab. It's exquisite.
Perhaps.
Might I suggest a
crisp blanc sau with the crab?
No, the Barolo is perfect for the dish.
Very well.
Yes, I changed my mind.
I'd like to have an appetizer, please.
The oysters.
Good choice.
And would you mind if I shucked myself?
What can shuck them for you?
No, no, I like to shuck them myself..
And do you happen to
have any artisan beers on tap?
We do have draft beer on tap.
Great, I'll have that, please.
Very well.
What are you doing?
What?
Did it occur to you that
maybe I didn't want the crab?
I figured you'd try
something you've never had.
How do you know I've never had it before?
And who the hell
ordered seafood with Barolo?
It's perfect with the crab. Trust me.
What if I wanted the
pasta instead of the crab?
No, you don't.
Really?
You look a little flushed.
[indistinct chatter]
Your oysters.
Very well. Enjoy.
Thank you.
What can I say? I
like to live dangerously.
Do you like oysters?
Not particularly.
I love them.
I'm not really
into bottom feeders. Thanks.
Damn, I can see my own reflection in this.
Classy.
Yeah, real classy.
Yum.
Do you want some?
[upbeat music]
You're a bottom feeder.
(grunting)
Ever been here before?
Never.
The decor in this place is to die for.
Really?
Yeah, clean and very white. Very classy.
You're putting me on, right?
What?
How are the oysters?
Divine.
Do you guys need another drink?
Yes. I feel like
an Aprolo Spritz, please.
Whoa.
Look at you.
All the martini gin?
Extra dirty.
(laughing)
Uh have you decided on your mains?
Uh, we'll need a
few more minutes. Thanks.
[indistinct chatter]
Everything here is just great.
You've had everything?
Well, almost. The saveshay
is okay, but I had a tad too meaty.
But it's made with fish, right?
I know. Isn't that wild?
So I went to this beautiful
Italian restaurant the other day.
Oh, my God. I had this
mouth-winding risotto and it made me cry
[stabbing sounds]
[footsteps]
No, no pictures of me, please.
Why not?
Because I don't like
photos, and I'd rather not
be splashed all over
your social media profile.
Thank you very much.
You'll eat them now.
No problemo.
Whoa. That looks awesome.
You can't go wrong with fish risotto.
I know, eh?
Enjoy.
Before you go, can I
trouble you for some cheese?
What's that now?
A nice fresh parmesan.
Freshly grated. Thank you.
Okay, sir. I'll be back with your cheese.
Cheese!
Great.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Can you imagine
serving this without parmesan?
So Travisty. Just simply not done.
Well, that dish and
cheese don't really go together.
What are you talking about?
They clearly complement each other.
Forget it. I clearly don't
know what I'm talking about. Never mind.
It's fine.
We all learn something new every day.
Well, you excuse me. I
gotta go visit the restroom.
Don't you go anywhere.
Don't worry.
[upbeat music]
[rock music]
[rock music]
I'm all about comfort. So for me,
no matter the season, my go-to is a classic
shepherd's pie. Some people like to
make shepherd's pie with chicken or beef.
I'm here to let you
know the only way to make
an authentic
shepherd's pie is with ground lamb.
Add some veg.
[bright music]
Pour in some wine and cook it all down.
Coat it with a good mash.
Put it in the oven.
[bright music]
[bright music]
There you have it.
The perfect comfort food.
Just don't forget to wait for
it to cool down before you dig in.
That's all for the wacky chef. Be
sure to like, subscribe, and all that junk.
[Music]
Well, if it's Monday and if
it's fall, it must be time for stew.
Beef, carrot, onion, celery.
I bet I can make it in 30 seconds.
[Music]
There we are, was that too fast for you?
Watch the video again and
see if you can make your own.
That's all for now on the wacky
chef. Be sure to like and subscribe.
[bright music]
[soft music]
[soft music]
[soft music]
Hello. Hi. You know, I didn't think
the address you gave me was your apartment.
Well, I shoot all my
videos here. I welcome my home studio.
Where's your crew?
No crew, just me. Can I
offer you a glass of Prosecco?
It's only 11 a.m.
Would you prefer a mimosa?
No, Prosecco's fine.
All right.
Thank you.
You like oysters?
Like them? No, I love them.
Well, that's good.
Let me shuck them for you.
Sure. Thank you.
Oh, hang on a sec.
Hit him with that.
Okay.
[smacking]
Holy shit. That's amazing.
Yeah. Holy shit, right?
It's really good. Wow.
It is good, yeah?
Usually I just have it with beer.
Oh, this is way better.
Yeah, clearly.
So, shall we get started?
Get started?
Yeah, I thought you'd help me.
Yeah, sure. What do you want me to do?
Oh, well, you can shoot it.
The whole thing?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, sure. I would be up for it.
Cool. Sounds good.
[Music]
Hello, it's Gord, and today
the wacky chef is going to get serious.
Today I'm laying out the
tablecloth for my favorite summer dish,
which can actually be
prepared any time of year.
The star of
today's show is burrata cheese.
Fine ripener hot house
won't work for these bad boys,
but I promise you, they
pair perfectly with burrata cheese.
I've chosen the burrata
for its cream treasure inside.
[bright music]
Voila!
Done and done.
Thanks for joining us.
Don't forget to like,
subscribe, follow, all that craziness.
Now, I'm dying to dig into this.
See you next time on The Wacky Chef.
And cut.
That was awesome.
Thank you.
You want to give it a try?
Wait.
Pictures first.
Oh, yeah, of course.
[camera clicks]
So how long have you been a Paparazzo?
About 10 years now.
It suits you.
Thank you.
Take a look at these.
Oh, wow.
They're good, right?
Yeah, they're good. They're perfect.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Come on, let's eat some cheese.
Okay.
For you?
Thank you.
Oh, yeah, dig in.
Okay, I will.
Looks pretty good.
It's not bad.
Not bad?
Yeah, not bad.
Let me try it with the wine.
Yeah, yeah.
Falanghina.
It's a very citrusy.
It pairs with this so well.
Does it?
Yeah.
You're right.
It is really amazing.
It's a pretty good pairing, but, you know,
I've had better in some restaurants,
but it's a nice try.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You've had better.
Yeah, I have had better.
Well, I'll just have to do
better next time. Yeah.
And there's a lot of other
things you gotta try better next time.
[footsteps]
I'm making you dinner next time.
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, sounds good.
See you, then.
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
Hey, it's Gord, the wacky chef.
Leave your name and number, and I'll
try to get back to you as soon as I can.
Welcome back to the
Flavor Saver Notes, the podcast,
with all things delicious
and daring in the world of food.
Today, we are diving into the deep.
Bright waters of the ocean's
most intriguing offerings, the oyster.
[soft music]
Hello, it's Gord, and today
the wacky chef is gonna get serious.
The star of today's show is Barata cheese.
Fine ripen or hot house
won't work for these bad boys,
but I promise you, they
pair perfectly with Barata cheese.
[playful music]
Hello?
Hello.
Hi, Stacy.
Faye.
Yeah, I, um, I need some advice.
Okay. Is everything all right?
I don't know anymore.
Well, what's the matter?
Some guy.
Some guy.
You're dating?
I date.
I've known you for 10 years.
I can count on one hand
the number of guys you've dated.
And I'm not counting that guy from college
who didn't even know you two are dating.
You don't know what you're saying.
Hey, I'm just glad
you're finally out there.
Don't bottle up.
Come on, talk to me.
Well, this guy that I've been seeing
has been completely
ghosting me after our one date.
Well, technically it wasn't really a date.
Technically not the date?
He asked me to take
pictures of him for work
and one thing led to another.
Another?
Wait back up.
You know the wacky chef?
No.
He's a YouTuber.
He asked me to take pictures of food
and so I went up to his apartment.
Well, you went to his house?
It was work.
I'll, bet.
[playful music]
Did you guys do it?
Well, who made the first move?
That's irrelevant.
It kind of is relevant.
Ever since I've known
you, you've always been impulsive.
I don't think I'm impulsive at all.
You're a little impulsive
and there's nothing wrong with that
as long as you don't overdo it.
Well, the thing is it happened
and now he won't return
any of my calls or messages.
Well, since then have
you been calling and texting
in psycho stalker mode?
No, Part of me really
wants to, but I'm frozen.
So do you want this guy
to ask you out again or not?
I do.
Well, then you've got to
do something to get his attention
so he wants to get to know you.
I don't think he wants to see me.
You don't know that for sure.
I mean, maybe he's
busy dealing with something
that has nothing to do with you.
I hope that's all it is.
Faye, that's all it is.
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[hip hop music]
Surprise! Surprised to see me?
Yes.
I'm here to prepare you a nice dinner.
I come at a bad time?
Yes, actually.
I miss you.
What the fuck?
Hey, sorry, let me see if it's infected.
I'm making a dinner.
What are you making?
I'm making stew.
That's gonna take a while.
Not my stew, it will only take one hour.
One hour?
That's not gonna be long enough.
It'll be long enough for my stew.
It's not about the time.
It's about the
type of meat that I'm using.
What type of meat are you using?
You know what, I can't wait to try it.
Are you lying?
Am I?
[pouring wine]
Let's toast.
What are we toasting?
The fact that you've been ignoring me?
You haven't answered any of my messages.
I thought we made a
connection the other day.
There was no connection.
I think we made a connection.
Forget it, let's just toast.
So let's begin.
Let's try it.
You go first.
All right, I will.
It's yummy.
Why don't you try it?
So what do you think?
It's all right.
Just all right?
Yes.
That's it?
This isn't happening, by the way.
What do you mean?
You and me, us, it's not happening.
I thought we made a connection.
That was a mistake.
Shouldn't have happened.
Are you saying that
you don't like my cooking?
I'm being serious right now.
All right, you want the truth?
Okay.
Your cooking is, meh.
Meh?
Yes.
I mean, some of the pieces are raw
and some of them are overcooked.
I don't know how the hell you did that.
Well, maybe there's
something wrong with your oven.
There's nothing wrong with my oven.
Do you know how
much I paid for that thing?
I don't care.
What kind of seasoning is this?
What is this, fish stock?
It's chicken stock.
Chicken stock?
Why not just use
beef and these vegetables?
What about them?
Oh boy, have you never heard of salt?
They're way undercooked.
No, I believe in salt.
Vegetables are undercooked.
The meat is too tough.
That's it, that's all?
Well, it's the wrong grape for this dish.
Pinot noir with stew?
I think you confused dinner with dessert.
What about dessert?
What about it?
I hope you sent out.
There you go.
Taste it.
I just have to be clear to you.
This isn't happening.
I'm not interested in you.
You're still on that.
You leaned over my counter.
You put your knees right on
it-that changed everything.
Oh that reminds me, you still have
to pay me for work the other day
I did pay you.
No you didn't.
I paid you on the floor!
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
His blood is still drying.
The rich metallic scent
of blood is almost intoxicating.
And here I am,
thinking about a job interview
as if it mattered.
But in the end, what does?
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]
[soft instrumental music]