The Moon's Our Home (1936) Movie Script

Another telegram.
This is the 4th in the last hour...
I'm glad my grandmother
can't even write a postcard.'re take it in.
Not me, not me...Higgins never gets thrown
out of the same place twice.
Belle...what are you two doing in a huddle?
Why can't you answer...
has the cat got your tongue?
It's a telegram.'re a fountain of information!
Yes, ma'am.
Well, take it in.
I'd rather...
Afraid of a mere chit of a girl!
Ridiculous...Here give it to me.
I'll take it!
I won't! I won't! I won't!
You missed me, dear.
Darling, I'm a beast...
I may have cut you.
If I ever did...I'd blow my brains out.
I know! And then I'd have to
tidy up afterwards.
Sit down.
We'll discuss it with calm,
with sanity and...
without acrobatics!
Your grandmother demands
that you come to New York.
Blast my grandmother!
I'm sick of having Lucy van Steeden
run my life...
Well...why doesn't she
leave me alone?
Well, because she's fond of you
in her specialised way.
And it worries her when you
get mixed up with a lot of Egyptians.
Can I help it if a completely ga-ga
Egyptian prince
sends me 6 dozen gardenias
every morning?
I wouldn't even know him
if I fell over him.
She wrote that you had anchored
into the Coconut Grove with him...
3 consecutive mornings.
Grandmothers shouldn't read
the gossip columns.
Now listen to me, Cherry Chester...
You know you've got to go
to New York.
I am NOT going to New York!
And don't call me
that silly name!
Well, Sarah Brown, then.
Don't call me that either...
I don't like Sarah.
That's what you were christened...
I was there when it happened.
And Cherry Chester or Sarah Brown...
you're going to New York
Your grandmother gets her way...
she always does.
This 'll be a nice change for her...
because 'Baby' is not going!
For once in my life I'm going to do
what I want to do.
She asks very little of you.
Only my right eye!
Sometimes I wish I had
a nice restful job
as night nurse
in a psychopathic ward.
I know I'm awful...
From now on I'm going
to be an angel.
I promise you...
an absolute angel!
That's my good girl.
Now go and change your clothes...
because Heather Manning from 'Movie Universe'
is coming to interview you.
I don't want an interview.
I told you before...
I WON'T be interviewed.
I won't! I won't! I won't!
My absolute angel?
Now that's more like it.
Go and put on something
that'll make you look sweet and friendly.
Oh, but I want to be mysterious...
"I want to be alone!"
Don't try that...
You are not Swedish.
I don't have to be.
It took her 5 years to smile...
I SANG in my first picture!
Yes I know...
You're an extremely lucky
young woman!
You're doing very nicely.
You have the public at your feet.
But next week,
they may be at your throat.
Now go and get dressed
and stop acting like an actress.
I am an actress...
"First an actress and then a woman."
My art comes before everything else.
But...I cannot allow
my private life to be...
Keep that for your interview,
Sarah Brown...
It's ME you're talking to,
and not your press agent.
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
The moments just fly by
on silver wings...
when one is reading
Markyov's reincarnation.
You are interested in Russian literature,
Miss Chester?
Only contemporary Russian works.
They breathe the soul
of a new human...
Their strength is indominatible courage
in the face of mine massacre.
Quite frankly, Miss Chester,
I'd like to do an article
closer to the heart of our readers.
That would be very original!
Marriage would be like a ski-jump...
Sudden and swift...reckless...
Starting on the heights...
sweeping into the void...
Never knowing the end...
never caring!
I see what you mean.
And love...
There's only one way
I'd ever fall in love...
Not as Cherry Chester the actress...
But as a plain ordinary girl.
A girl who'd fall in love
with a man I didn't know...
And who didn't know me.
There's to be nothing
but the two of us.
A man and a woman..
No past...perhaps no future.
Just a magnificent present!
Oh, Miss Chester...
You certainly have given our readers
some lovely thoughts.
What is it Hilda?
I'm afraid it's another telegram.
Thank you so much Hilda,
for bringing it to me.
I mustn't take any more
of your time, Miss Chester.
Thank you so much.
I know our readers will adore
every word you said.
Goodbye Miss Manning,
and thank you.
Goodbye Miss Manning...
Hilda will show you out.
If I recall your last interview,
you were all for athletics.
You even hopped a couple of fences
to prove it.
The announcement was...
"you were wedded to the open air".
You know...there's something in
what I just said to that women.
Well if there is, it escaped me.
All that about falling in love
with a man you don't know...
And who doesn't know you...
Ah...for an actual man.
Higgins! Hilda! the railroad station...
get reservations for New York
Have them hold the seats,
Why?...Why didn't you
give me that before?
Go and pack everything...
Higgins...get the car.
Well do something!
Don't stand there as if
you're painted there!
Do you mind explaining to me
what this is all about?
You'll find I understand English
like a native.
Gran...darling grandmother...
She's ill.
Maybe she's dying.
Miss Chester, is there any truth
in the reports you came east
to avoid the attentions of Prince Ali?
Oh, none whatever...
we're just good friends.
Your grandmother's supposed to be ill,
Miss Chester?
Oh, yes...desperately...that's why
I'm making this trip.
She's so worried about grandma,
she's held the train up 5 minutes already.
Wrong again, brother...
we're waiting for Anthony Amberton.
Anthony Amberton?
Haven't you read his books?
I'm just crazy about them!
Let's find him!
Hold it Miss Chester!
Hey, wait a minute, Joe...
how many more plates you got left?
Just one.
Well, let's beat it out of here.
Go over there and get a shot
of Anthony Amberton.
Give him this!
Maybe it'll make a prettier picture!
Car 47, boys.
All recent papers and periodicals.
Have you Anthony Amberton's
'Women in the Orient'?
Yes I have one, madam.
I'm slipping...
...yes I'm slipping...
Boyce...I'm through!
I'm going to bed...and I don't want
to get up until we get in.
I don't want to see anybody,
do you understand?
I don't want to see
a single soul.
I'll have my dinner in here.
Who do you want to serve it to you...
The Invisible Man?
You too, Brutus?!
Worse than the jungle...
photographers like savages everywhere.
I've climbed Mt Everest,
I've swum the Hellespont...
I've crossed the Andes on a llama!
But I've never been through
anything like this before...
even in darkest Africa!
It sure is nice to have you
with us, Mr...Amberton!
You know, I got kind of leanings
for exploration myself...
I got as far as Honolulu
one time, sir.
We'll swap travelogues
in the morning.
In the meantime I don't want to see
a single soul...I'll have my dinner in here.
Yes sir. No out in Honolulu
when a gentleman wants his dinner, sir.
Get me the train stenographer...
I got some work to do.
Yes sir!
That's like what I said
about out in Honolulu. yourself a ukulele.
Yes sir!
There's another celebrity on board,
Mr Amberton...Cherry Chester.
Cherry Chester?!
Nobody's named "Cherry Chester."
Sounds like a hero
in a costume picture,
Is "Cherry Chester"
some kind of soft drink?
"Brave adventurer"...
Probably afraid to cross the street.
She's the motion picture star!
"Loathes cities... loves hardship..."
I abhor pictures.
I bet he's lost without
his hot-water bottle!
Marshmallow-faced movie stars
make me sick.
Ah..."Mr Amberton and his camel".
Oh, I see...he's the one
with the hat on!
To me, the simple primitive woman
with a small, high chest...
"Mr Amberton has conquered
the highest peaks known to travellers".
A woman of long silences...
consuming in love...
enjoying in marriage.
Bilge...absolute bilge!
I'd better get these right off,
Mr Amberton.
Goodnight Boyce...
and take Mr Amberton with you.
Oh, thanks.
Goodnight darling.
Goodnight Mr Amberton.
Look at them.
The pack's in full cry again!
Quite a theatre...poor novel.
No art in Honolulu Mr Amberton.
Put this toward
a pineapple plantation.
Well, well, well...hello Amberton.
How's everything in the
publishing business?
Just marking time until
the next Amberton opus!
Well, I see my welcome committee
got up early.
Look at 'em.
It's been like that
all across the country.
Funny, isn't it?
If I was still John Smith,
heir to the "Smith Plumbing Supplies"...
they wouldn't pay
any attention to me.
Now that I'm Anthony Amberton,
boy explorer...
I'm afraid your devoted public here
is your only committee.
But the head-hunters...
they're out in full force!
But Cherry Chester came in
on this train, too.
That movie marshmallow?
She probably lives
on this sort of thing.
I loathe women like that.
Give me the simple primitive woman
with a small, high chest!
Well, I'm only a publisher,
but I'll see what I can do!
How is she?...
Don't tell me I'm too late!
Send them away, I tell you!
Our peace dignity blasted
by a lot of howling lunatics.
I won't have it!
I won't see ANY
of that newspaper rabble!
Why I should be burdened with
a public character for a granddaughter...
is more than I can understand.
Ah...there you are!
You've been in the house
just 2 minutes
and there's bedlam!
Lock all the doors,
pull down the shades!
Sarah Brown...come here.
You're thinner...
a picked chicken!
But I'll fatten you up!
You're the one
who's supposed to be ill!
I never had a sick day
in my life!
Lucy, you're an old humbug!
I'm a lonely old woman...
who enjoys seeing her granddaughter
once in a while.
Now what's all this I hear
about an Egyptian prince?
That's what I like about you Lucy...
blunt and to the point...
No frills!
Come on...come on...
Out with it!
You mustn't believe
everything you hear.
Although I do rather like him.
He asked me to marry him.
Don't get excited...I didn't.
They all want to marry you!
I never heard of such a thing!
Now go upstairs and scrub
that disgusting paint off your face!
Go this instant!
And at dinner I expect it
to be plain "Sarah Brown"...
A human being.
Am I plain enough, Hilda?
Miss Cherry, you're terribly plain.
What do you do with this stuff...
drink it?
The people that make it
send you so much of it Miss Cherry that...
Come in!
Oh-oh...I know that look!
You're loopier than a circus sideshow again.
Well, what's for dinner...
besides food?
Just a few old friends
of your grandmother's.
Whee!...paper caps and friends...
And your cousin Horace.
Such a little brain!
Horace van Steeden is a monument
of respectability.
So is Grant's Tomb,
but who wants to marry it?
You've been throwing Horace at my head
ever since I was years old...
But I won't marry him...
I won't, I won't, I won't!
Not in this house.
What's the matter
with you, Horace?
That's a red queen.
Yes...they have them
in every deck.
You have it on a red king.
That isn't honest.
Horace, I didn't ask you to come
and teach me Solitaire... my age.
I want to talk to you about Sarah.
You two must marry.
That would be very very nice.
Well, can't you work up
a little more enthusiasm?
I don't want to get
TOO hot-headed.
The whole thing
is highly suitable.
Sarah will give up
this Hollywood nonsense...
Then you can settle down
and live like Van Steedens.
Now all that's left
is for you to propose.
Yes...that's all that's left.
See, that's the wrong 9.
You know how to propose,
don't you?
You've tried often enough.
You know, I think I've been using
the wrong tactics.
This time, I'll sweep her
off her feet.
At dinner, I'll ignore her...
You know...indifferent.
That's what gets them crazy.
It does. Providing it drives her crazy enough,
you can take her out on the balcony.
The balcony?
It's a very chilly night.
Follow that black 6...
there's where you made your big mistake.
I'll remember, Horace.
This time, Sarah's got to accept you!
Oh, I can't fail.
You've been playing
with 51 cards!
No wonder it didn't come out!
No, what?
No, I won't.
But I haven't asked you
to do anything.
You're going to ask me
to marry you.
I won't.
Oh, you're psychically magnificent!
My intentions WERE to propose to you.
I'll spare you the effort...
for the start, anyway.
Thanks, I am. I had a pretty speech though.
Wouldn't you care to hear it?
Oh, no!
It went...Sarah dear...
Since we first grew up together...
12 years apart!
I concede the point.
Sarah dear, since we first grew...
Well I could cut that part out.
Oh, Horace, cut the whole thing out!
it's a truly estimable piece.
If you heard it, you'd fall
right into my arms!
It refers to the moon...
lyrically, artistically.
"A new moon"...let's see...
Oh, yes!..."Shaded with
a cloud of amber"
Like the colour of your hair.
Oh, Horace that's very pretty,
What difference does it make?
My heart's in those words.
Those aren't your words either...
I read the same book!
You ARE psychically magnificent!
Sarah, hadn't you better marry me?
You understand me so well.
Understand you?...
I see through you!
Anybody who isn't Horace
can come in.
Aren't you ready yet?
Boyce, have you ever
seen me drunk?
No, dear.
Only "disorderly".
I'm starting in now!
Just what gave you
this splendid idea.
Just can't stand being sober...
that's all!
I'll get drunk, I swear if I...
That crack in Venus' stomach.
I'm mad when I'm Cherry Chester...
I'm smothered when I'm Sarah Brown.
Oh to be free!
To be alone on a mountain top
with the snow, the stars
and the sunshine.
All at once?
You don't understand me...
nobody understands me.
Ready, Miss.
Leave it with me.
Baskets of food to
old family retainers.
My biggest sporting event
for weeks.
Think how glad old Hannah
will be to see you.
Yes...Cherry Chester...her latest role...
"Little Lady Bountiful."
I'm afraid you're miscast.
- Hello, William!
- Hello Miss Sarah!
Ah...Yankee tripper...looks great
I see you still don't trust
the automobile.
I'm waiting 'til they perfect it, Miss.
- Thank you very much, Mr Amberton!
- You're welcome.
The only one of yours I haven't read,
Mr Amberton.
I hope you enjoy it.
He's just too marvellous!
Oh Mr Amberton...I can just see you
stalking through the jungle!
- Thank you!
- You're welcome.
Do write something...personal.
My husband is SO jealous.
A small bottle of "Gardenia" please.
We're having a special
on "Cherry Blossom' today...
You know...the perfume
that Cherry Chester uses.
Here, try some.
It's very nice!
Cherry Cheater uses it?
That perfume again!
I can't stand it.
What's the matter?
That foul perfume...
It makes me deathly ill.
I'll see what I can do.
I'm sorry...
The perfume affects Mr Amberton
He'd appreciate it if
you'd be more careful.
- OK.
- Thank you.
Who does the big gooney
think he is?
So Tarzan can't take it, uh?
I'm sorry...
Let's get out of here!
Mr Amberton,
you must sign mine...
Feel better now?
Fresh air always does the trick.
It's the musk in that perfume
I can't stand.
Once I was marooned in
a plague-ridden African village.
Ever since then, the smell of musk
knocks me cold.
I'll go back and get your coat.
Don't look now,
but they're loose again.
There he is!
Hold the fort!
Hold the books!
What's new?
Oh, everything's about the same.
It's alright, William, go ahead.
They nearly got me that time!
I'm afraid a profession like yours
is full of narrow escapes.
What am I going to do?
I have to live.
I should really hand you over
to the police.
Now don't brazen through.
After all, I saw you running for your life
away from all those people.
Well, you're wrong,
I didn't do anything.
I see...they were
too quick for you!
- But listen...
- You needn't explain
Who am I to judge?
After all, you're a fellow creature.
Now, you take this...
It's alright...
You need it more than I do.
Don't you really know
who I am?
Just because you know who I am,
doesn't mean I know who you are.
I haven't any idea
who you are.
You mean you've
never seen me before?
As a matter of fact,
I'm sorry I haven't.
You're rather attractive
in an elementary sort of way.
Can't you manage to be
a little less personal?
How do you like New York?
I loathe it...I loathe all cities.
Fine...that's 2 of us.
This your carriage?
It's my family's.
They're smothering me.
You look alright.
Trying to marry me off
to a man I don't love.
A rough, coarse brute,
who I detest.
This can't go on, that's horrible...
It's medieval...You've got to
pull yourself out of this.
True! They're selling me
to a libertine!
Get out...break free!
Oh...if only I could!
If only I could be alone
on the mountain top...
with the sunshine...with the stars...
Listen to me...there's a destiny
in this...I've been sent to save you.
You've got to come with me!
- Come with...
- Don't speak...
I'm going away...far away
from cities and people...
...and you've got to
come with me.
- I don't...
- You don't have to know my name.
I don't have to know
your name.
All that matters is that 2 free people
with a world behind them...
Somebody stole my watch!
It's 27 minutes past 3!
I'm late, I have to go.
Go where?
Baby's home!
So you DID get drunk?
Bare-faced plastered!
All for me?
Ali brought you these.
He's in New York...he telephoned you
16 times this afternoon.
Only 16?
I must be losing my grip!
Miss want me to pack
your winter sports clothes, too?
What's going on here?
I have something to tell you.
We're sailing at midnight
for Europe.
That would be Lucy's idea.
Yes, it occurred to her
just after those arrived.
She's got to keep out
of my life.
I won't go to Europe...
She can't make me go to Europe...
I won't...I won't...I...
Yes I will.
Dear little old Europe.
It must be beautiful in December.
Of course I'll go!
Horace is going too.
No...really...a family party!
Lucy thinks of everything!
Sarah you feel alright?
Boyce dear...I never felt better
in my whole life. run along
like a good girl
and tell Lucy that I'm simply
delighted with her plan.
I wish I knew
what you got drunk on...
Something wonderful Boyce...
Something new!
I don't even know
his name myself!
Yes, Hilda, you can pack
my winter sports things.
Oh...and be sure to put them
in a separate bag.
Next station Moonsocket...
Is it very far to the Simpsons?
Is it?
Is it very far to the Simpsons?
Are you mad at me?
You'll have to speak up...
I'm a bit deaf.
Oh, I thought I'd hurt your feelings.
It wasn't important!
Simpsons having
a prosperous winter.
They got one city boarder
over there already.
Yes? What kind?
I say, what kind?
Kind of a crazy young fella.
Out in the hills
all the time.
That's the one!
You two ll meet, if you're
both stayin' at Simpsons.
I didn't quite catch your name.
I didn't throw it...
My name is Brown.
How's that?
I said my name is Brown.
His name is Smith.
Here we are.
Stop barking Calvin, we heard you.
Mrs Simpson?
I wonder if you could let me
have a room for 3 days.
People generally write ahead
for accommodation.
I was awful stupid of me, but
I'd heard how lovely it was here...
And I just couldn't wait.
Well, now that you're here,
come on in.
And you too, Lem...that baggage
won't walk in by itself.
Rest them there, Lem...
and we won't keep you.
How much
do I owe you?
75 cents and not
a mite more.
It's a long trip from the station
to here.
The same distance
it's always been.
It was a great ride anyway...
thank you Lem!
Thank you!
Well you might...
drat that Lem!
You might as well
see your room...
It's up this way.
This is Miss Hambridge.
She's here for
a nervous breakdown.
That's my husband.
- How do you do!?
- He's fine.
Come on Abner...
bring the new boarder's grips up.
And shut your trapdoor!
This is the Rose Room.
We call it that
on account of the roses.
It's got a very good ring to it. will be so peaceful...
Well you get
pretty used to things
when you've had nothing else
for 40 years.
Anything you want?
Is Mr Smith here?
Oh, that's who you are?
Well why didn't you tell me?
Tell you what?
That you're the cousin
he's been expecting.
Oh, so he expected me
to come!
He said you'd be along
any time.
You ARE his cousin,
aren't you?
Oh yes...well...more or less...
that a way.
I mean...we don't see much
of each other...
We're so distantly connected.
Well, kin's matter
how far apart.
If you want anything,
just let me know.
Abner'll get it.
He's out walking.
But he'll be back.
It's lovely here.
Maybe I shouldn't have come.
He was too sure I would.
What's new?
I find I'm suddenly burdened
with a cousin Smith.
And all the little Smiths.
Except know
what happened?
He fell on his piste run last month.
They didn't miss him for 2 weeks.
Do you realise how
insufferably cocksure you are?!
Oh sure. What's your name, cousin.
Do you have a name? Jones?
Cousin Brown...sledding is an art...
just the slightest
Sit up front...way up!
Do I steer this thing with a tramp?
With a smile, if I take your frame
and ram in the snowdrift.
Smiling just now?
No! Frowning!
You frowned!
Dinner call!
Oh, Miss Brown...
You two had better come...
The food is on the table.
May I have some more
coffee please?
Abner, take that pipe
out of your mouth!
Do they have places like this
everywhere up here Miss Hambridge?
I didn't know...I think so.
Why Mr and Mrs Simpson have made
a masterpiece of Miss Hambridge.
This would make a fortune
way down south in New York.
I hate to think of having
to leave here tomorrow.
My cousin's been disappointed
in love, Miss Hambridge.
Well, it's got ME beat...
You know Miss Brown...I've seen you
somewhere before.
I'm always being mistaken
for somebody else.
My cousin has one of those faces
that come by the thousand.
Oh, I've seen you too,
somewhere, Mr Smith.
It's enough to drive anybody crazy.
My cousin's face constantly
affects me that way.
Well, I pride myself
on my memory.
I never forget a face.
- How awful for you.
- Yes, it is isn't it.
I seldom forget a name...
but then, 'Smith' and 'Brown'!
They're not difficult are they?
Miss Brown!
Have you heard the news?
You and I are going for a sleigh-ride...
with a horse.
Mr Smith, there's a later report than that...
YOU are going for a sleigh-ride with a horse.
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
You can't do that!
Alright I'll take Miss Hambridge.
Did anybody call ME?
I didn't hear anybody.
I wish everything
would stay like this.
The moon can't always be full.
It's light can get softer.
Are the words you said
about the place true.
Of course it is....It isn't
all cluttered up with civilisation.
All my life I've hated
Well, what's the matter
with marriage?
It's so unimportant.
Your mother and father
didn't think so.
Or did they?
Theirs was a different generation.
Our life should be too big
for marriage.
It would take just one woman
to make you change your mind.
Marriage comes in the door...
Love flies out the window.
Marriage is the mortgage
a woman holds on a man's future.
There shouldn't be
any future to love.
Or any past.
Only the present...
the glorious present.
Somewhere, I've heard
those very same words before.
Get along, David!
That's Susan, the Simpson's mare.
She'll come to no good end.
Pull yourself together...whoa there!
I can't stop her!
Got any ideas?
- Try flattery!
- Can't hurt.
Nice Susan...sweet Susan!
Charming Susan...
please slow down!
Nice going!
Didn't we start out
with a horse?
I wonder what became of her.
Probably chasing that 4-legged Casanova
up the road.
And I hope she doesn't catch him.
She will.
Well, what do we do next?
Might try walking for a change.
I should have warned you against
Susan going in full moon.
You're not the first
she gets with this notion.
Certainly not from me!
The hot water's ready.
You'd better come and get to work.
Well, you'll freeze your marrow
in that outfit!
There's danged a thing to it.
It's the only one
I've brought with me.
Well, you can't sleep in that...
I'll get you one of mine.
No, don't bother...
I'm really warm and...
No bother...if you city folk can't
look after yourselves
somebody's got to do it
for you.
"Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way..."
"Oh what fun it was to ride
on a one-horse..."
How's it look?
- How's it feel?
- Oh, lovely! gave me yours...
now you have to take mine...
Come on...we'll swap!
Why...what would I do
with a thing like that?
Wear it!
Go on...take it!
Thank you.
Good night. Breakfast at 8
in the morning.
And we don't hold it
for anybody.
Excuse me!...
Why, Mitty Simpson!
What have these amateur detectives,
that I'm paying a fortune to, done about it?
Not a single thing!
My dear great aunt...
give them time!
Time? So they can find more places
she hasn't been?
Wherever she is you can be certain
she'll in no way disgrace herself.
There you are...
taking her part!
Boyce...I'm worried!
- Maybe she's been kidnapped!
- Kidnapped!
We've got to find her!
Wait a moment!
I was lost once...
Oh, but I knew
where I was, though.
Well they haven't found
Cherry Chester yet.
They're looking everywhere
for her.
I wonder what could have
happened to her.
Some people are always having things
happen to them.
She's probably in some penthouse,
roaring drunk.
Oh, Mr Smith...I think
Cherry Chester's sweet.
Yes, I'm sure she is.
Have you ever seen her?
I've seen her pictures.
I was on the same train
with her once.
Were you really?
What's she like? Does she look
the way she does on the screen?
Oh do tell us all about it!
Yes, please do!
As a matter of fact,
I didn't really see her.
I wasn't even interested enough
to look.
I know what she was like...
just another bogus blonde
with a face like a French pastry.
It's your move!
I don't want to play anymore.
Well I'm going to bed.
As all decent folks should.
I'm going too.
I don't feel as well as I did.
I think I feel a nervous spell
coming on.
Good night.
Aren't you going to bed?
Oh, we're low characters.
Sometimes we stay up
as late as half past nine!
Oh...Good night.
You're pretty quiet tonight.
I haven't noticed you
roaring your head off, either
I've never seen you like this.
You see, I have to leave here.
You can't do that.
Why not?
Because I've got all sorts
of plans for us.
What are they?
Well, in the first place, I...
Well I'm gonna teach you
how to ski.
I really have to go.
What's the reason?
I think...I'd almost forgotten.
That man you told me about
in the carriage...Is he the reason?
No...he's connected with it.
Well, that's all taken care of.
How is that?
You're not going to marry him.
You're going to marry me.
Are you proposing to me?
Of course I am...what do you think
I was doing?
Thank you very much,
but I can't.
Why not?
I don't believe in marriage.
"The minute marriage comes in the door,
love flies out the window."
Where did you get those
half-baked ideas...
I don't say that marriage
is perfect,
but it's the only solution
for the average woman.
But I'm not an average woman.
Would you have fallen in love
with an average woman?
Certainly not. Would you have
fallen in love with an average man?
Certainly not.
What makes you think
I've fallen in love.
You see, we're not average...
so you've got to marry me!
- I won't.
- You will, too!
I will not, too!
Let me know in the morning
how you made out.
I've got to go to bed.
Come on, Calvin.
Put this over your wrist.
When you want to stop,
do this.
Use your sticks to accelerate,
not as brakes...get it?
Jumping makes me dizzy.
You don't jump
until the second lesson.
Maybe there won't be
any second lesson.
Keep your chin up in the air,
and don't drag your sticks.
Are you ready?
I'm afraid so.
You're off!
Happy landing!
Nice and cool down here!
I'll help you up.
I'll do it myself, thank you.
Getting up's the toughest part.
You'll never make it.
Oh...You don't think I can?
Just you watch.
I'm watching you.
That doesn't count...
My hand slipped.
Everything slipped.
Keep your head up.
The day is young and so are we!
Are you sure you don't
need any help?
Certainly not...
I'll do it by myself.
Still lucky.
Friend of mine spent 3 weeks once,
trying to get up.
We had to feed her
out of a bottle.
Better let me help you.
I'll do it by myself...
I bet you I will.
What do you bet?
Anything you want.
Alright...if you can't get up, marry me...
Is it a bet?
It's a bet.
Mind if I sit down?
If there's anything I can do,
let me know.
I'm just beginning...
Look! Look I've got it! See?!
I see.
Do you mind
if I burst into tears?
Give up?
Never in this world!
Oh...I give up!
Now I suppose like most women
you're going to crawl out of your bet.
Like most women...I never crawl.
When can I collect?
Darling...make it soon...
I may change my mind.
Let's make it right now.
Wait on a minute...
have I told you about my temper?
I've had complaints about mine.
- We'll fight every day!
- We'll make up every night.
I'll leave you
over and over again!
I'll always find you.
"By virtue of the laws of the state
of New Hampshire..."
"I'm authorised and empowered
by the law..."
"to perform a marriage
between two people,
"who have expressed a desire
to be married"
"I have here a licence..."
Hey...that's done it...
can't marry you without a licence.
In New Hampshire it takes
5 days to get one.
I have one right here.
I have one right here.
Oh, thank you.
That's more like it.
Looks like everything's in order.
We can have the wedding
after all.
Here, you take it.
"By virtue of the laws of the state
of New Hampshire..."
When did you get
that licence?
4 or 5 days ago.
So sure of yourself,
were you?
Of course.
"To have and to hold
from this day forward..."
You were pretty sure of me from
the very beginning, weren't you?
You promise to love, honour
and obey...
Well, sure I do.
I suppose you'd want me
to wait around
doing nothing, while you
were making up your mind.
I certainly do!
Well if that's the way
you feel about it...
do you want to call
the whole thing off?
I certainly do!
Do you promise to love,
honour and obey him?
- Do you really mean that?
- I most certainly do!
As Justice of the Peace...
I'm sick of being made a fool of...
I'm through!
I never want to see you again
as long as I live.
I now pronounce you man and wife!
All you got to do is kiss the bride,
and it's 3 dollars.
Oh I hope you'll be very happy!
All right folks, the bridal suite's
all ready for you.
You'll have to walk up, folks.
Our elevator only works on half time.
Comes down alright.
Won't go up.
Can you make it, Mrs Smith?
I think so.
Well, if that's all folks,
I'll say good night.
I think so.
I know I am.
Darling, there's something
I've got to tell you.
There's something
I've got to tell you, too.
Let's tell each other
in the morning.
Wait!...just a minute...
Come in!
You look wonderful!
Holy smoke!
I can't stand it...
Open the window!
Well do something!
Don't just stand there
like a petrified forest.
Can't you see I'm sick?
What am I supposed to do...
stand here and freeze to death
just because you've got
a complex or something?
Oh darling, I'm sorry...
I can't help it.
It's that perfume...
it always reminds me...
Oh...get away...take it off.
I can't stand it...I'm sick!
I'm sick!
Reminds you, does it?
You've got your memories, huh?
Well I'll give you something
to really bring them back!
50 cents loser.
- Howdy, Henry.
- Hello, Ned.
There's a message for you
in the pantry.
I've got to go to New York,
right away.
- What about Mr Smith?
- Never mind that!
When's the next train
to New York?
That one left this morning.
There won't be another train
'til tomorrow morning.
But I've got to go to New York.
I've got to get away from here.
Thats all the trains we've got.
But I don't want to stay here.
I want to go to New York!
Lady...I got a truck outside.
I can give you a lift to Boston.
I don't want to go to Boston.
I don't like Boston.
Well, they got a lot of trains there.
I could get one there
to New York.
Could you really
give me that lift?
- If you don't mind the bumps.
- I love them!
I've considered this situation
There's only one way to silence
this malicious gossip.
Your engagement to Horace
must be announced immediately.
Granny, that's absolutely impossible!
Why I...
Suppose I were to tell you...
I was married already.
I would say it was your way
of evading an issue.
But I am!
Who to?
Who to?
To John Smith,
that's who to.
Alright, who is he?
Where does he come from?
What does he do?
I don't...
Darling, you've simply
got to believe me.
I believe you. Produce him...
Where is he?
I don't...exactly know
where he is right now.
Sara Brown, if you must lie,
do it more convincingly.
Come on now...everything
will turn out for the best.
- Come on.
- Hope you're right!
Mr Amberton, please.
Mr Amberton's expecting you Mr Holbrook
he's in the trophy room.
Where can I find a girl
in this town?
My wife!...
That is she has some very nice friends
she went to college with.
I don't mean that...
I don't want to meet the girl...
I've met a girl!
The only girl I'll ever meet.
Now she's gone...disappeared...
I can't find her!
Do you know her name?
Of course I know her name...
Sarah Brown.
Sarah Brown?
The most beautiful name
in the world.
Have you tried
the telephone book?
There are 116 Sarah Browns
in the phone book...
all ages, races and dialects.
I've talked to every one of them.
Except one who was
deaf and dumb.
I've searched the City Directory,
I've been to the Bureau of Missing Persons...
Can you describe her?
Of course I can describe her.
Almost she's the most beautiful,
the most wonderful, the most marvellous...
If you ever expect me to write
another confounded line,
you've got to help me
find Sarah Brown!
Is it from Hollywood, dear?
Why is everything I do
in such a mess?
If only I could get away by myself
and be free!
I didn't mean to get myself
in such a jam.
And what a jam I'm in,
you'll never know!
Congratulations Horace!
Gentlemen, I'm overwhelmed...
I don't really know how
to express myself.
Well, all I can say is
"The best man won."
Rather..."Slow and steady
wins the race."
Hey, that looks like...
I wonder if it could be...
I'll go and see.
Johnny Smith!...why I haven't
seen you for 5 years.
It must be nearer 6!
We'll call it 5.
Aren't you going to
congratulate me?
Everybody I've seen has been
congratulating me.
The ones I haven't seen probably
haven't been around here.
Well, what've you done?
You haven't heard about me?
Why, the newspapers
have been full of it.
I haven't seen a paper in weeks.
I'm going to be married.
That is, the young lady and I
are both going to get married.
To each other of course.
And I say the straight...
Thanks!'s an idea...
It just hit me like that!
You've got to come to my
New Year's Eve party tonight.
No thanks...I'm afraid
I wouldn't be much good at a party.
You can't afford to miss this one...
it's going to be a regular revel.
You know...whoopee!
Besides, old man, I want you to meet
the girl I'm going to marry.
You'll be wild about her.
She may like you, too.
I hope so.
You know, a fellow who writes all day
needs some relaxation in the evening.
I don't know what I'd be
without it.
You're right Horace, it's just
what I need...I'll be there!
Good...the 'Club Continental'
at 10 o'clock.
Just ask for me...
They all know me.
I'm kind of a man-about-town.
Good for you, Horace.
Club Continental at 10 o'clock.
Right...a picture of you two
close together...
Thanks Mr Van Steeden...
that's just the expression we want.
I wasn't even trying.
How are you old boy?
You've made a mistake...
my name isn't boy.
Of course my name isn't Walter...
your name's Walter
Now, don't be that way, Walter.
We're gonna make whoopee!
- What'll it be sir?
- I'll have a martini.
No, make it 2.
Make it 4!
What's new?
Haven't I seen you
somewhere before?
Possibly. I'm the girl
you married once.
I knew it!
I never forget a face!
Didn't you ever want to
find me again?
Did you want to be found?
Here I am.
Here you are.
And if you think you'll
ever get away again...
Do you think I'd ever want
to get away again?
Who was it?
Big brute my family tried
to get me to marry.
What!?...Where is he?
Come on...let's get out of here.
Come with me, young woman.
You don't get like a husband!
After all, you're my wife...
it's time I did something about it.
- are you old pal?
- I thought I told you I went home?
Why didn't you tell me it was
my perfume, and not me?
I was too sick.
I thought it made you remember
some girl you couldn't forget.
There's only one girl
I can't forget.
I've found that out...
Sarah Brown.
Mrs John Smith.
- Darling, I...
- Darling, I...
Go ahead.
- I'm really Cherry Ches...
- I'm Anthony Amberton.
What did you say?
The man on the camel?!
Movie marshmallow!
Who are you looking for?
Sarah's not here.
I can't understand it...
I'm sure she was with me
when I came in.
Or pretty sure.
Anything goes
on New Year's Eve!
Including Sarah!
It's no laughing matter...
Johnny Smith hasn't turned up either.
I think I'll look for Sarah again.
I did want those two to meet.
I married Sarah Brown and now I find
I'm the husband of Cherry Chester, too.
So what?!
I married John Smith and I find
I'm the wife of Anthony Amberton besides.
So what?!
Starting with you mind?
I love it!
We had lots of fun,
didn't we?
We'll have a lot more, now that you've
given up this Hollywood foolishness...
we'll go everywhere, we'll do anything!
We'll own the earth...
we'll live in the moon!
I'm not retiring.
Of course you are, darling.
You're married now.
You wouldn't give up
exploring and writing.
We'll settle down.
Then I mightn't give up
my career as an actress.
You call making faces on the screen
a career?
You certainly can't call it "acting"!
I suppose you call that tripe
you turn out "writing"?
So, you've read my books?
I started one.
Which one?
A masterpiece where you slid down
all 6 of the pyramids.
-There are 9 pyramids!
- 6! - 9!
I see, I'm not only a bad actress,
I'm a liar as well!
I didn't know you could be
THIS mad.
I didn't know you could
be that SMUG!
All I can say is that you're a stubborn
disagreeable little brat.
All I can say is you're a contemptible nasty,
ill-tempered, conceited monster!
Why, you struck me...
You cad!
Let me go!
I never want to see you again!
Never! Never! Never!
Oh, I beg your pardon...
I'm sorry...
Oh, has there been some kind
of an accident?
Oh, I've been looking for you
all over!
Nearly 12 o'clock...
New Year's, you know!
Oh, by the way,
have you two met?
Johnny Smith...
this is my fiance.
I told you we were going
to get married.
You weren't listening.
I see.
I owe you an apology,
Miss Chester.
You certainly are an actress,
a great actress.
And for that debauch,
you might try Paris!
I will!
And I'll marry Horace there, too!
Hey, Johnny...
Happy New Year!
Oh, Horace!
- She's not here, sir.
- I'll find out for myself.
But I tell you,
she's not here sir.
Isn't this the creepiest, dank...
must be a dungeon.
What is the meaning of this?
And what is the matter
with my house?
I said no human being could exist
in an atmosphere like this.
Babson, throw this madman out!
It won't be necessary...As soon I get
what I've come for, I'll leave.
Where is she?
I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about!
Yes you do! And no evasions...
I've heard about you!
The antediluvian tyrant!
You don't impress me...I don't think
there's anything terrifying about you.
Well, what do you want?
What do I want?
You see this?
I want the foot that goes in it.
You see this?
That's a claim check
on a girl!
A girl about 5'2"...with red hair
and green eyes!
She's wilful and spoiled,
and got a nasty disposition.
My granddaughter!
My wife!
So you're John Smith!
Don't hold that against me.
Thanks to your bad temper
and my stupidity...
your wife is leaving
for Hollywood tonight.
Where in due time, she's expected
to marry Horace van Steeden.
Boyce...this is John Smith.
So you're John Smith!
Say, what is all this?
Horace was on the phone.
He said he was leaving
immediately for the airport.
Now come back, young man.
If I were you, I'd organise an expedition
of one...and storm Newark Airport.
Mrs John Smith is aboard
the 'Flying Owl.'
Thanks Granny!
Get me a police patrol...
I'm going to take you for a ride!
Well, it's the first time I ever had
anything like that happen to me.
I had my eye on that there.
Horace Van Steeden's going
to marry Cherry Chester.
He'd never be going to California
at a time like this.
- Are you sure you can identify him?
- I never forget a face.
But officer...this is absurd!
I'm not Boston Benny
and I never been in Alcona.
It'll be a long stretch before
you get a chance to go.
Why don't you tell him
who we really are?
What's the use Benny,
they got us to rights this time.
There's been a terrible accident!
Granny! Well tell it Granny?
Well, it's not exactly
Shall we go...where is it?
I don't believe you!
It's a trick!
I'm tired of having
my own arms around me.
So, darling...