The Mutilator (1984) Movie Script
1
Mama, Mama!
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right...
Fall break, and here we sit.
No plans, nothing to do.
I've been warning you since September.
Go to the beach,
go to the mountains, do something.
Don't say I didn't tell you so.
Well, why didn't you make
some reservations?
I should have,
but you guys never agree on anything.
So, we'll sit around here
just like we did last year.
It's depressing.
Hey, Ed, uh, you have a telephone call.
Right.
No, seriously, you have a telephone call.
Well, what do you know?
Ralph said what he meant for a change.
Yeah?
My dad?
Yeah, OK. Uh-huh.
Well, anybody got
any good ideas for break?
I'm gonna set a new high score
on the video machine.
I'm gonna watch.
How about you?
Well, actually, I was relying on you
to make the arrangements.
Oh, Ralph.
Anybody got any paper?
It's a message to call my dad.
From a phone booth, for Christ's sakes.
I thought Ed's father was dead.
His mother is dead.
God, it was a terrible accident, too.
What happened?
When he was a little boy,
Ed accidentally shot her.
Oh, ho-ho, man...
- Drove his father crazy.
- I can understand it.
You know, I really can't...
Dad?
I don't believe it.
Don't believe what?
My old man.
What's up?
He's having another one of his spells.
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, what kind of spells?
The kind that come in bottles.
Well, what's the problem?
Will you let the man talk?
He wants me to close up
his condo for the winter.
Oh, that sounds like work.
What's the matter?
Big strong you, afraid of a little work?
Oh, he just has to save his strength
for more important things.
- Right.
- It's not it.
I mean, all my life the creep's ignored me,
and treated me like some redheaded bastard.
Um...
Oh, sorry.
Now, all of a sudden, he calls me up
and asks me to do something.
Tells me I'm old enough to
"take the responsibility."
What'd you say?
I told him to do his own work.
What'd he say?
He said if I didn't do it,
it wouldn't get done.
"Face it like a man."
And I'm not gonna do it.
I mean, what a jerk.
How much work?
"Turn off the water,
turn off the electricity,
"pour some antifreeze in the plumbing."
"Any 10-year-old can handle it."
Uh, did you say,
any 10-year-old can handle it?
- It's a snap.
- Nothing to it.
We can handle that.
Yeah, how come we didn't know
you had a condo at the beach?
No way.
What do you say?
Four days of R&R at the beach.
- I'm in.
- She's in, I'm in.
Sounds good to me.
I got a bad feeling about this.
- Don't forget our arrangement.
- Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't know what I'm doing,
you know? Just all...
I really didn't mean to. OK? OK. Bye-bye.
- What's the matter, Ralph?
- Guys, Sue can't come.
- No.
- Yeah.
Something went wrong
with one of her exams,
and she's just gonna
have to take it over again.
- Oh, God.
- That's terrible.
- Yeah...
- Get in. You can't let that spoil your trip.
- Where are you going?
- I'm just going in to say goodbye.
Hey, no, guys, I really
wouldn't feel right going without Sue.
- Don't be a jerk.
- Get in the car.
You're going. No backing out now.
- No...
- Get in the car. Get in the car.
Hey, there's Sue.
Hi, guys. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi, Sue.
I'm really sorry you can't go.
- Yeah, me too.
- Rotten luck.
What're you guys talking about?
- Ralph!
- Ooh! Oh, man!
What a jerk.
God, I believe him
every time, all the time.
- Guys, gimme a break.
- Aw, Ralph.
Besides, let's get this road trip...
- ...on the road!
- Break my car.
That's OK, it's paid for.
Come on.
Man, this car's not convinced
we're going anywhere.
So, my philosophy is,
let's have some beer.
When the leaves of summer
turn to red and gold
And the football games bring
a hint of the cold
Time to get away
We'll pack the car with escape in mind
Forgettin' about classes,
leavin' books behind
Time to get away
Empty cootage sittin' on the shore
Tourists all left about a month before
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart
Oh, man.
Well, I think I'll go get some beer.
Will that be all?
Maybe.
Hey, how old do you
have to be to get that discount?
- 65.
- 65?
Hey, man, now that's discrimination.
- It is?
- It sure is.
Look, I'm a law student,
so I ought to know.
That discriminates against me
for being young.
- It does?
- Well, sure it does.
Look, tell you what I'm gonna do.
If you'll give me that 10% discount,
I'll go get another six-pack of beer,
and we'll both benefit.
Now, what do you say to that?
Sure.
What took you so long?
Oh, man, wait till you guys
hear about this one.
This is great.
- They're always great...
- Oh, man.
Another one of those
smart ass college kids,
talking themselves into buying
two six-packs instead of one.
Yep.
I can hardly wait to head for the dunes
Spread down a blanket
Humming sweet love tunes from yesteryear
Not a soul in sight,
girl, ahead and blessed
Bring a radio, a cooler,
and a case of the best
And we'll disappear
And later on maybe who knows
We'll swim in the surf
in our birthday clothes
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart
We're gonna have a good time
A fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Ooh
A fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Hey, hey, hey, a fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Ooh, a fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Yeah, fall break
So, this is it, huh?
The famous condo at the beach.
- What do you think?
- Not bad.
- Nah, it's not too bad.
- I kinda like it.
All right, everybody,
let's get this stuff inside.
Hey, Pam. Throw me the keys.
Ooh, easy.
Hey, Ralph. Catch!
Hey, Ed. I don't need 'em.
This place is wide open.
- So, what's the hold up?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
Something just doesn't look right.
It's nothing. Just a little mess.
Come on in.
Looks like we missed the party.
I see my dad had a little help
bringing on his spell.
What do you mean?
Well, he likes to come down
with his drinking buddies
and they swap lies about
the good old days when they were
great white hunters and macho men.
Macho, huh?
Yeah.
Dad used to tell me that he'd
hunted everything but man.
How long do you think
it's been since they were here?
I don't know. Last week,
last night, this morning maybe.
I think we should call the cops.
What if this place has been broken into?
Yeah, what if they're still here?
Cut it out, Ralph.
Besides, there are no cops.
No cops?
Well, the cops on the mainland,
the Sheriff's Department?
And they come over and patrol
like that guy on the bridge.
There's almost always someone
on the beach patrolling though.
Almost always?
- Great place to smuggle dope.
- I think we should report it.
Yeah, how can you be sure
it's your old man?
Look, nothing's missing.
Let's just don't worry about it.
Avoid the hassle.
Hey, guys. Look at this stuff.
Geez! Would you look at all this shit?
Well, rah, rah.
Look at this.
That was a record.
28 pounds.
Mmm-mmm, I'll bet that was
good baked with a little lemon.
Oh, Dad didn't eat it.
He's what's called a trophy hunter.
Well, looks like the party's over
for this joker.
Ugh.
Yeah... My dad ran over him
with a ski boat.
An accident.
What's this thing?
Uh, that's a gaff.
What's a gaff?
When you're fishing, and you see a big
one up over the side of the boat,
then you hook it in him.
- Here.
- Real nice.
I guess this is what he
caught that fish with.
Nope. It's what he caught this girl with.
How did you know it was a girl?
Yeah.
When he caught her,
he slit her open and a couple of dozen
little baby sharks spilled out on the deck,
all flipping around with
the yolk sacks still attached.
Oh, yuck.
- You're sick.
- Nice.
Tell us about this.
This one's great.
One night, Big Ed, I mean Dad,
and his buddies were all
over here having a drinking party,
and they decided to have a contest.
"Hey, let's throw pyramid sinkers
through the wall."
You know, they almost made it.
Well, Dad won the contest, naturally,
and this was his winning toss.
He was so proud, he nailed
a picture frame around it.
- Where are the bedrooms?
- Give us a break.
Upstairs.
Watch it, you're going to drop it.
Don't tell us.
Your dad won the Halloween costume
contest at the Moose Lodge.
No, wait.
That is a mask
of the Mayan rain god, Chaac.
Dad picked it up
on a hunting trip in Yucatan.
I think he stole it.
You know, the priests were supposed
to wear these during ritual sacrifices.
Sacrifices?
Sacrifices.
Tell me they sacrificed lambs
and little things like that?
Yeah, little things like that.
No, big things like girls.
The victims, young virgins,
were shot with arrows,
or sometimes beheaded.
Ugh, take this away from me.
Virgins, huh?
Well, at least we're all safe...
Or are we?
Jerk.
What went there?
Ah, one of my dad's favourite things.
His battle-axe.
- It's not there now.
- No shit.
It's missing.
He probablyjust took it with him.
How can you be sure? Maybe it was stolen.
Sometimes he takes his toys
home for a while.
- Well, I'm a little uncomfortable.
- Christ, who would want it.
And why would they take
just the battle-axe?
Yeah, why not that fantastic mask?
Well, I don't know.
But I'd feel a lot better
if you'd report it to the police.
OK, I'll tell you what.
We'll find a phone in the morning,
and I'll call my dad.
If he says he doesn't have the battle-axe,
then we'll call the
Sheriff's Department on the mainland
and report that the house has been
broken into, and something stolen.
OK?
OK.
OK, now let's get that stuff upstairs.
All right. Sounds like a good idea to me.
Oh...
Uh...
Hey, Ralph, want to help carry
some of these things up?
They might get lost upstairs.
It's still a little early.
Hey, Pam, that's a great idea.
Uh, need any help lighting your fire?
Oh!
Here's your room.
Why don't you give me those?
No sooner said than done.
It's a nice change, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
Ah, it feels good. Come here.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What do you suppose is in here?
- Trophies, of course, what else?
- Yeah, I wonder where he keeps them.
Hey, maybe this is where
he keeps the mask of the sun god, Zeus.
Yeah, maybe this is where he keeps
the mask of the moon god, goose!
Oh! Whoa!
Geez, that scared the shit out of me.
What do you suppose these are for?
To hold the net up.
Wouldn't think they'd have
to be so sharp, would you?
I don't know.
How do I look as a fisherman?
Not bad. But your rubbers are too big.
That's the first time
you've ever said that.
Here, catch.
Think you could throw
that through the wall?
Geez, I don't know, but I sure would hate
to get hit in the head with one of these.
Or anywhere else.
Hey, look at this a minute.
You don't think this is what ran over
that sucker upstairs, do you?
No, it's too small for a ski boat.
Yeah, too small for a ski boat.
Now, how about these?
I know what these are for.
Come here.
Linda!
- Yes?
- How about a little help up here?
On the way.
- Go on up, I'm right behind you.
- All right.
- That wasn't too bad.
- That was.
- Say excuse me.
- Man...
I've had about enough.
Let's get this mess cleaned up.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Here's a duty roster.
A duty roster?
Yep, Ed and I clean up tonight.
Ralph and Sue tomorrow night, and so on.
Come on, sweet meats,
let's go enjoy our night off.
Come on, this is too much.
Let's walk off some of that food.
Come on, you guys,
let's go for a walk on the beach.
Uh, you guys go ahead.
We'll catch up to you later?
Right.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
I wonder where Mike and Linda are.
They're out on the beach.
They've been gone a long time.
Now, where did I put those arrows?
Cut it out, Ralph.
No sacrifices tonight.
Eh!
What are you so happy about, anyhow?
You've done something.
I recognize that grin.
Oh, you'll see.
Done something cute to Mike and Linda.
Quit that sort of thing, Ralph.
Yeah, when are you gonna grow up?
I don't know.
Look, hey, let's take a break
from this game.
It's so easy, it is boring.
- Easy? You're losing.
- Um, small point.
I'm ready for a break.
Suits me. I'm broke, anyhow.
Let's catch up with Mike and Linda.
Hey, guys!
Mike!
Linda!
- Come on.
- Where?
To the pool, dummy.
Linda, where are you?
What's wrong with the water?
It looks like it's been
loaded down with chlorine.
Will that hurt you?
No, in fact it probably prevents herpes.
Oh? I didn't know I had to be
concerned about that.
You, in the pool.
Hey, where did everybody go?
This is great.
Yeah.
In the pool.
That's sweet.
Thank you.
Does this mean that if we don't make love,
you'll still like me in the morning?
It means, if we don't make love,
I'll still like you tonight.
We'll just have to let the morning
see what the morning brings.
Oh, heavy.
Hey, where did everybody go?
There's a slow echo in here.
Stay here. I'll get it.
Tag. You're it.
Bet you can't find me.
Mmm.
Ah, this feels good.
Mmm.
Shit!
Thank God for small favours.
What's this?
A little game, eh?
Gotcha!
Socks, nice.
What I really want is my... jacket!
Say, you're pretty good at this.
Thanks.
Now this is getting interesting.
I think I'm getting your message.
Geez, not again!
I'm coming...
To get you...
- Do you see 'em?
- I thought I saw something.
Mike!
- Do you see them?
- Pam saw something.
Is everything all right here?
Yeah.
You just scared me, that's all.
What are you kids doing out here
at night on the beach, anyway?
We're staying at my
father's condo, up that way.
Right here along the street,
the one that runs on the ocean.
Yeah, he was closing his condo
for the winter when he became ill,
and we all came down to help finish up.
It's the only one around
here with any lights on.
I saw some men around there yesterday.
But their car was gone.
I didn't see anyone there today.
Well, somebody was there today.
When we came, the door was open
and one of his father's things was missing.
Is that right?
Yeah, but I'm sure my father
just took it home with him.
Look, I'm gonna give him a call
in the morning and if it's not right,
I'll report it.
All right, I've noted it.
And I'm not gonna make it
official until you call it in.
OK.
In the meantime, you kids be careful
out here on the beach tonight.
It's not dangerous, is it?
Yeah, there's no murderers
or rapers around, are there?
I mean, have you been
having some heavy action lately?
Are you kiddin'?
It's like a graveyard around here.
There's some thunderstorms coming through.
You could get struck by lightning
walking on the beach at night.
OK, thanks for the warning.
Say, you didn't happen to see another
couple walking on the beach, did you?
No, I'm sorry.
Well, if you do see them, don't look.
OK, thanks.
Say, how do you suppose
he could sneak up behind somebody
wearing all of that hardware?
Practice.
Let me go! Let me go!
Mike!
Yeah, I'm investigating a possible 10-38
at 4 East Ocean Townes.
Roger, Ben. We know where you are.
10-4.
Well, anybody up for a footrace?
- Me too.
- Let's head back.
Lightning is not one
of my favourite things.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Oh, look. What's this?
That's a skate's egg, sometimes
called the devil's pocketbook.
Uh, they're said to attract lightning?
- Right, Ralph.
- Mmm...
No! No!
You find many good seashells along here?
Oh, yeah, at this time of year when
there's not too many people around,
shell-hunting ought to be pretty good.
Let's go look for seashells
in the morning.
Sure.
Let's hurry up and finish the game.
It's almost bedtime.
You have a one-track mind.
- I do not. I have a two-track mind.
- Oh, yeah, what's the other one on?
Well, right now it's on sex, too,
but not always.
- I'll bet.
- Uh, you're not complaining, are you?
Well, no.
Right...
I wish Ralph wouldn't have so much
to say about my being a virgin.
Ah, he's trying to help me score.
Score? Is that all
we are to you three? Scores?
You know better than that.
But to Ralph, it's a necessary
part of a relationship.
Well, it's not a necessary
part of my relationships.
- I know.
- What's that supposed to mean?
Well, Ralph, are you
ready to file for bankruptcy,
or would you like to try to drag
it out just a little bit longer?
Why don't you guys save
the rest of that game till tomorrow?
Come on, let's do
something all of us can play.
What'd you have in mind?
Nothing in particular.
Anybody got any ideas?
It's getting close to bedtime, isn't it?
Not yet, tiger.
"Not yet, tiger."
No more. I've had enough.
Enough? You haven't had any... Ow!
She'll do it, too, Ralph.
Hey, I've got a great idea.
How about a game of Blind Man's Bluff?
All right. I'll get the beers.
No, I'll... I'll get 'em.
Please?
Pam was gonna give you a fat lip,
which you really did deserve.
- Nah, she wasn't going to do anything.
- Bullshit.
Blind Man's Bluff?
I don't believe it. We're going
to grope around in the dark?
Would you rather grope in the light?
Get serious.
First, everybody gets a beer.
That's the important part.
Then, we turn off all the lights.
Whoever is "it" stays in the house,
and the rest of us go outside
and drink a beer.
Then, the person playing it hides himself,
and we all come back in
and try to find him.
When we do,
we stand, or sit, or lie down next to him.
Finally,
there'll just be one person
wandering around the house,
trying to find everybody else.
Sounds like great fun.
You'll see. You'll see.
OK. Now, who's gonna be it?
Me. I'm gonna be it.
All right.
Everybody else, out!
Come on up.
Let me down, let me down.
Oh, the poor little thing.
Sorry, Ralph, you'll have to go around
and play fair, just like everybody else.
Here we come, ready or not.
Think she's had enough time?
Yeah.
Any of you guys want a beer?
Yeah, I'll take one.
- Yeah, me too.
- Me too.
How did you know we were here?
Ha! It was the process of elimination.
He'd already looked everywhere else.
That's right.
OK, what's next?
I get it.
You know, I'm really
worried about Mike and Linda.
They've been gone so long.
Hey, don't worry about Mike and Linda.
They're just having a good time
enjoying each other's company.
You know, it has been a pretty
long week for all of us
and they're just relaxing. OK?
- All right.
- All right. Come on.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Hi.
You know, Ralph isn't
such a bad guy after all.
I know. Told you so.
I know. It's just that... Uh-uh.
We have a deal, buddy,
and I'm holding you to it.
Ah, come on...
Now, look...
You know how I feel about you,
and I want to.
I really do, you know that.
But I'm just not going to.
Some other time, maybe,
but not here, and not now.
I was thinking that maybe the atmosphere
of this place would loosen you up a little.
Shit.
Ralph, do you know what we forgot?
Wait a minute, I think
I've got one in my pack.
No, dummy, we forgot
to lock up for the night.
Lock up?
We're the only people on this island.
Come on.
Well, what about Mike and Linda?
They're still outside, you know.
Well, maybe you should
go and try to find them.
At least make sure they're all right?
And, uh, I've got something
to show you when you get back.
Oh, Lord, goodness gracious.
Oh, the kitchen door's already
locked, as if you didn't know.
Yes?
If you hear anyone
wandering around downstairs,
don't shoot, it's just me.
Going down to lock up.
Why are you gonna lock up?
There's no one on the island except us.
Oh, well, you know.
What about Mike and Linda?
How will they get in?
Well, I'm going down to find them and
tell them the fort's closing for the night.
If they want to come in, now is the time.
Be careful.
Well, I certainly will.
"Do you know what we forgot to do, Ralph?
"We forgot to lock up."
Man, if that ain't bad enough,
then I have to open up my big mouth.
"Yeah, what about Mike and Linda?"
"What about Mike and Linda, Ralph?"
Mike!
Linda!
Now, where would I be?
Upstairs in bed. That's where I'd be.
Mike?
Linda?
Shit...
Why am I whispering?
There's absolutely no one
else on this island but us.
Hey, Mike, you and Linda come on out now.
We need to lock up so we can go to bed.
Look, come on out.
Hey, I'm sorry for all those tricks
I've ever played on you, and I promise,
hey, I promise I'll never play
any more tricks.
Well, no wonder.
Whoo-hoo!
Fallen asleep, huh?
All right!
Ta-da!
Not yet, huh?
Look, I gotta lock up,
cos I got something to see upstairs.
Oh, boy.
Oh, guys, I'm really going
to hate to do this,
but I've got to make sure
you're OK for the night.
No.
Even I couldn't do that.
Ed...
Ed?
Did you hear something?
Ralph?
Ed. Ed.
Goddamn you, Ralph.
Ed. Ed. Wake up.
- What? What's the matter?
- Shh! Listen. Something is wrong.
What, what is it?
All of the kids are missing.
What?
Mike and Linda's bed has never been
slept in, and Sue and Ralph are gone.
- We're alone.
- They're just playing a game or something.
- Get up and help me look for the others.
- Leave me alone.
You've got to get up and help me!
All right. All right.
Not sleeping together is one thing,
not sleeping at all is something else.
See?
Ralph.
- Come on.
- Hmm.
See?
Ralph?
Where have you been? Where are the others?
I don't know. I'm scared.
Something's wrong.
Girls, just calm down.
No, Mike and Linda have never come back.
Ralph went to go look for them,
and now he's gone, too. Help me find him.
- All right. All right.
- We'll find him.
Yeah, we'll look around down here.
- You go upstairs and get dressed.
- OK.
There aren't many places
to hide around here.
Yeah...
- Here, put this on.
- What for?
- We're leaving.
- Oh...
- Hurry up, Sue.
- Coming.
Hurry up, Sue!
We can't leave without Ralph.
Oh, yes, we can. Come on.
I'm not leaving without Ralph.
Just to drive over to the
Sheriff's Department on the mainland.
- We'll be right back with help.
- I'm not leaving.
- You've got to come.
- Let's take one last look around.
- We'll be right back.
- One last look?
One last look?
All right.
OK, you two go around
that side and I'll go this way.
Uh-uh, buddy, I'm sticking with you.
Why don't you two go around this side,
and I'll go around that side?
- Make it fast.
- OK.
Ralph?
Sue?
Sue?
Oh, God! Oh, God,
Ed, cover it up, cover it up!
OK, OK.
Oh, God!
We've got to get out of here.
- No, no! Let me out of here!
- Shh!
Let me out of here!
Just stop! Leave him alone!
No!
Stop!
Pam! Get me out of this.
Get me out of this!
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
- You're gonna have to drive.
- OK. OK. Come on.
You think he's dead?
Hell, yes, he's dead. They're all dead.
I can't believe it.
Give me the keys.
Pick it up.
- How bad are you hurt?
- Pretty bad. I've got to get to a doctor.
I'm feeling funny.
- Oh, you poor thing.
- Let's just get out of here.
OK.
Aw, come on!
- Quit pumping the gas!
- Now what?
Great, it's flooded!
Just give it a few seconds.
Don't you have a handkerchief
or something?
Yeah.
- Here, let me have your belt.
- OK.
Thanks.
Why don't we turn off
the headlights? It'll save the battery.
- Ed...
- Yeah?
Look!
Ahh. Come on. Come on!
Oh, come on!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Pam, start the car!
For Christ's sake, start the car!
I'm trying!
We're gonna die, we're gonna die.
Oh, God! No!
Look out! Stop. Get your hands off him!
Come out, you son of a bitch! Come on!
I'll get it! I'll get it!
Look. Look!
Help! Help!
Look. Look. Look.
Help!
No!
No!
Jesus Christ.
That's my dad...
Pull forward!
Watch out!
Dr Ferrell, Dr Cooper, Dr Winborne,
report to emergency reception' code blue.
How is she?
About the same.
Hi
When the leaves of summer
turn to red and gold
And the football games bring
a hint of the cold
Time to get away
We'll pack the car with escape in mind
Forgettin' about classes,
leavin' books behind
Time to get away
Empty cootage sittin' on the shore
Tourists all left about a month before
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart
Mama, Mama!
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right...
Fall break, and here we sit.
No plans, nothing to do.
I've been warning you since September.
Go to the beach,
go to the mountains, do something.
Don't say I didn't tell you so.
Well, why didn't you make
some reservations?
I should have,
but you guys never agree on anything.
So, we'll sit around here
just like we did last year.
It's depressing.
Hey, Ed, uh, you have a telephone call.
Right.
No, seriously, you have a telephone call.
Well, what do you know?
Ralph said what he meant for a change.
Yeah?
My dad?
Yeah, OK. Uh-huh.
Well, anybody got
any good ideas for break?
I'm gonna set a new high score
on the video machine.
I'm gonna watch.
How about you?
Well, actually, I was relying on you
to make the arrangements.
Oh, Ralph.
Anybody got any paper?
It's a message to call my dad.
From a phone booth, for Christ's sakes.
I thought Ed's father was dead.
His mother is dead.
God, it was a terrible accident, too.
What happened?
When he was a little boy,
Ed accidentally shot her.
Oh, ho-ho, man...
- Drove his father crazy.
- I can understand it.
You know, I really can't...
Dad?
I don't believe it.
Don't believe what?
My old man.
What's up?
He's having another one of his spells.
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, what kind of spells?
The kind that come in bottles.
Well, what's the problem?
Will you let the man talk?
He wants me to close up
his condo for the winter.
Oh, that sounds like work.
What's the matter?
Big strong you, afraid of a little work?
Oh, he just has to save his strength
for more important things.
- Right.
- It's not it.
I mean, all my life the creep's ignored me,
and treated me like some redheaded bastard.
Um...
Oh, sorry.
Now, all of a sudden, he calls me up
and asks me to do something.
Tells me I'm old enough to
"take the responsibility."
What'd you say?
I told him to do his own work.
What'd he say?
He said if I didn't do it,
it wouldn't get done.
"Face it like a man."
And I'm not gonna do it.
I mean, what a jerk.
How much work?
"Turn off the water,
turn off the electricity,
"pour some antifreeze in the plumbing."
"Any 10-year-old can handle it."
Uh, did you say,
any 10-year-old can handle it?
- It's a snap.
- Nothing to it.
We can handle that.
Yeah, how come we didn't know
you had a condo at the beach?
No way.
What do you say?
Four days of R&R at the beach.
- I'm in.
- She's in, I'm in.
Sounds good to me.
I got a bad feeling about this.
- Don't forget our arrangement.
- Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't know what I'm doing,
you know? Just all...
I really didn't mean to. OK? OK. Bye-bye.
- What's the matter, Ralph?
- Guys, Sue can't come.
- No.
- Yeah.
Something went wrong
with one of her exams,
and she's just gonna
have to take it over again.
- Oh, God.
- That's terrible.
- Yeah...
- Get in. You can't let that spoil your trip.
- Where are you going?
- I'm just going in to say goodbye.
Hey, no, guys, I really
wouldn't feel right going without Sue.
- Don't be a jerk.
- Get in the car.
You're going. No backing out now.
- No...
- Get in the car. Get in the car.
Hey, there's Sue.
Hi, guys. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi, Sue.
I'm really sorry you can't go.
- Yeah, me too.
- Rotten luck.
What're you guys talking about?
- Ralph!
- Ooh! Oh, man!
What a jerk.
God, I believe him
every time, all the time.
- Guys, gimme a break.
- Aw, Ralph.
Besides, let's get this road trip...
- ...on the road!
- Break my car.
That's OK, it's paid for.
Come on.
Man, this car's not convinced
we're going anywhere.
So, my philosophy is,
let's have some beer.
When the leaves of summer
turn to red and gold
And the football games bring
a hint of the cold
Time to get away
We'll pack the car with escape in mind
Forgettin' about classes,
leavin' books behind
Time to get away
Empty cootage sittin' on the shore
Tourists all left about a month before
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart
Oh, man.
Well, I think I'll go get some beer.
Will that be all?
Maybe.
Hey, how old do you
have to be to get that discount?
- 65.
- 65?
Hey, man, now that's discrimination.
- It is?
- It sure is.
Look, I'm a law student,
so I ought to know.
That discriminates against me
for being young.
- It does?
- Well, sure it does.
Look, tell you what I'm gonna do.
If you'll give me that 10% discount,
I'll go get another six-pack of beer,
and we'll both benefit.
Now, what do you say to that?
Sure.
What took you so long?
Oh, man, wait till you guys
hear about this one.
This is great.
- They're always great...
- Oh, man.
Another one of those
smart ass college kids,
talking themselves into buying
two six-packs instead of one.
Yep.
I can hardly wait to head for the dunes
Spread down a blanket
Humming sweet love tunes from yesteryear
Not a soul in sight,
girl, ahead and blessed
Bring a radio, a cooler,
and a case of the best
And we'll disappear
And later on maybe who knows
We'll swim in the surf
in our birthday clothes
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart
We're gonna have a good time
A fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Ooh
A fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Hey, hey, hey, a fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Ooh, a fall break
A fall break, a fall break
Yeah, fall break
So, this is it, huh?
The famous condo at the beach.
- What do you think?
- Not bad.
- Nah, it's not too bad.
- I kinda like it.
All right, everybody,
let's get this stuff inside.
Hey, Pam. Throw me the keys.
Ooh, easy.
Hey, Ralph. Catch!
Hey, Ed. I don't need 'em.
This place is wide open.
- So, what's the hold up?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
Something just doesn't look right.
It's nothing. Just a little mess.
Come on in.
Looks like we missed the party.
I see my dad had a little help
bringing on his spell.
What do you mean?
Well, he likes to come down
with his drinking buddies
and they swap lies about
the good old days when they were
great white hunters and macho men.
Macho, huh?
Yeah.
Dad used to tell me that he'd
hunted everything but man.
How long do you think
it's been since they were here?
I don't know. Last week,
last night, this morning maybe.
I think we should call the cops.
What if this place has been broken into?
Yeah, what if they're still here?
Cut it out, Ralph.
Besides, there are no cops.
No cops?
Well, the cops on the mainland,
the Sheriff's Department?
And they come over and patrol
like that guy on the bridge.
There's almost always someone
on the beach patrolling though.
Almost always?
- Great place to smuggle dope.
- I think we should report it.
Yeah, how can you be sure
it's your old man?
Look, nothing's missing.
Let's just don't worry about it.
Avoid the hassle.
Hey, guys. Look at this stuff.
Geez! Would you look at all this shit?
Well, rah, rah.
Look at this.
That was a record.
28 pounds.
Mmm-mmm, I'll bet that was
good baked with a little lemon.
Oh, Dad didn't eat it.
He's what's called a trophy hunter.
Well, looks like the party's over
for this joker.
Ugh.
Yeah... My dad ran over him
with a ski boat.
An accident.
What's this thing?
Uh, that's a gaff.
What's a gaff?
When you're fishing, and you see a big
one up over the side of the boat,
then you hook it in him.
- Here.
- Real nice.
I guess this is what he
caught that fish with.
Nope. It's what he caught this girl with.
How did you know it was a girl?
Yeah.
When he caught her,
he slit her open and a couple of dozen
little baby sharks spilled out on the deck,
all flipping around with
the yolk sacks still attached.
Oh, yuck.
- You're sick.
- Nice.
Tell us about this.
This one's great.
One night, Big Ed, I mean Dad,
and his buddies were all
over here having a drinking party,
and they decided to have a contest.
"Hey, let's throw pyramid sinkers
through the wall."
You know, they almost made it.
Well, Dad won the contest, naturally,
and this was his winning toss.
He was so proud, he nailed
a picture frame around it.
- Where are the bedrooms?
- Give us a break.
Upstairs.
Watch it, you're going to drop it.
Don't tell us.
Your dad won the Halloween costume
contest at the Moose Lodge.
No, wait.
That is a mask
of the Mayan rain god, Chaac.
Dad picked it up
on a hunting trip in Yucatan.
I think he stole it.
You know, the priests were supposed
to wear these during ritual sacrifices.
Sacrifices?
Sacrifices.
Tell me they sacrificed lambs
and little things like that?
Yeah, little things like that.
No, big things like girls.
The victims, young virgins,
were shot with arrows,
or sometimes beheaded.
Ugh, take this away from me.
Virgins, huh?
Well, at least we're all safe...
Or are we?
Jerk.
What went there?
Ah, one of my dad's favourite things.
His battle-axe.
- It's not there now.
- No shit.
It's missing.
He probablyjust took it with him.
How can you be sure? Maybe it was stolen.
Sometimes he takes his toys
home for a while.
- Well, I'm a little uncomfortable.
- Christ, who would want it.
And why would they take
just the battle-axe?
Yeah, why not that fantastic mask?
Well, I don't know.
But I'd feel a lot better
if you'd report it to the police.
OK, I'll tell you what.
We'll find a phone in the morning,
and I'll call my dad.
If he says he doesn't have the battle-axe,
then we'll call the
Sheriff's Department on the mainland
and report that the house has been
broken into, and something stolen.
OK?
OK.
OK, now let's get that stuff upstairs.
All right. Sounds like a good idea to me.
Oh...
Uh...
Hey, Ralph, want to help carry
some of these things up?
They might get lost upstairs.
It's still a little early.
Hey, Pam, that's a great idea.
Uh, need any help lighting your fire?
Oh!
Here's your room.
Why don't you give me those?
No sooner said than done.
It's a nice change, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
Ah, it feels good. Come here.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What do you suppose is in here?
- Trophies, of course, what else?
- Yeah, I wonder where he keeps them.
Hey, maybe this is where
he keeps the mask of the sun god, Zeus.
Yeah, maybe this is where he keeps
the mask of the moon god, goose!
Oh! Whoa!
Geez, that scared the shit out of me.
What do you suppose these are for?
To hold the net up.
Wouldn't think they'd have
to be so sharp, would you?
I don't know.
How do I look as a fisherman?
Not bad. But your rubbers are too big.
That's the first time
you've ever said that.
Here, catch.
Think you could throw
that through the wall?
Geez, I don't know, but I sure would hate
to get hit in the head with one of these.
Or anywhere else.
Hey, look at this a minute.
You don't think this is what ran over
that sucker upstairs, do you?
No, it's too small for a ski boat.
Yeah, too small for a ski boat.
Now, how about these?
I know what these are for.
Come here.
Linda!
- Yes?
- How about a little help up here?
On the way.
- Go on up, I'm right behind you.
- All right.
- That wasn't too bad.
- That was.
- Say excuse me.
- Man...
I've had about enough.
Let's get this mess cleaned up.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Here's a duty roster.
A duty roster?
Yep, Ed and I clean up tonight.
Ralph and Sue tomorrow night, and so on.
Come on, sweet meats,
let's go enjoy our night off.
Come on, this is too much.
Let's walk off some of that food.
Come on, you guys,
let's go for a walk on the beach.
Uh, you guys go ahead.
We'll catch up to you later?
Right.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
I wonder where Mike and Linda are.
They're out on the beach.
They've been gone a long time.
Now, where did I put those arrows?
Cut it out, Ralph.
No sacrifices tonight.
Eh!
What are you so happy about, anyhow?
You've done something.
I recognize that grin.
Oh, you'll see.
Done something cute to Mike and Linda.
Quit that sort of thing, Ralph.
Yeah, when are you gonna grow up?
I don't know.
Look, hey, let's take a break
from this game.
It's so easy, it is boring.
- Easy? You're losing.
- Um, small point.
I'm ready for a break.
Suits me. I'm broke, anyhow.
Let's catch up with Mike and Linda.
Hey, guys!
Mike!
Linda!
- Come on.
- Where?
To the pool, dummy.
Linda, where are you?
What's wrong with the water?
It looks like it's been
loaded down with chlorine.
Will that hurt you?
No, in fact it probably prevents herpes.
Oh? I didn't know I had to be
concerned about that.
You, in the pool.
Hey, where did everybody go?
This is great.
Yeah.
In the pool.
That's sweet.
Thank you.
Does this mean that if we don't make love,
you'll still like me in the morning?
It means, if we don't make love,
I'll still like you tonight.
We'll just have to let the morning
see what the morning brings.
Oh, heavy.
Hey, where did everybody go?
There's a slow echo in here.
Stay here. I'll get it.
Tag. You're it.
Bet you can't find me.
Mmm.
Ah, this feels good.
Mmm.
Shit!
Thank God for small favours.
What's this?
A little game, eh?
Gotcha!
Socks, nice.
What I really want is my... jacket!
Say, you're pretty good at this.
Thanks.
Now this is getting interesting.
I think I'm getting your message.
Geez, not again!
I'm coming...
To get you...
- Do you see 'em?
- I thought I saw something.
Mike!
- Do you see them?
- Pam saw something.
Is everything all right here?
Yeah.
You just scared me, that's all.
What are you kids doing out here
at night on the beach, anyway?
We're staying at my
father's condo, up that way.
Right here along the street,
the one that runs on the ocean.
Yeah, he was closing his condo
for the winter when he became ill,
and we all came down to help finish up.
It's the only one around
here with any lights on.
I saw some men around there yesterday.
But their car was gone.
I didn't see anyone there today.
Well, somebody was there today.
When we came, the door was open
and one of his father's things was missing.
Is that right?
Yeah, but I'm sure my father
just took it home with him.
Look, I'm gonna give him a call
in the morning and if it's not right,
I'll report it.
All right, I've noted it.
And I'm not gonna make it
official until you call it in.
OK.
In the meantime, you kids be careful
out here on the beach tonight.
It's not dangerous, is it?
Yeah, there's no murderers
or rapers around, are there?
I mean, have you been
having some heavy action lately?
Are you kiddin'?
It's like a graveyard around here.
There's some thunderstorms coming through.
You could get struck by lightning
walking on the beach at night.
OK, thanks for the warning.
Say, you didn't happen to see another
couple walking on the beach, did you?
No, I'm sorry.
Well, if you do see them, don't look.
OK, thanks.
Say, how do you suppose
he could sneak up behind somebody
wearing all of that hardware?
Practice.
Let me go! Let me go!
Mike!
Yeah, I'm investigating a possible 10-38
at 4 East Ocean Townes.
Roger, Ben. We know where you are.
10-4.
Well, anybody up for a footrace?
- Me too.
- Let's head back.
Lightning is not one
of my favourite things.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Oh, look. What's this?
That's a skate's egg, sometimes
called the devil's pocketbook.
Uh, they're said to attract lightning?
- Right, Ralph.
- Mmm...
No! No!
You find many good seashells along here?
Oh, yeah, at this time of year when
there's not too many people around,
shell-hunting ought to be pretty good.
Let's go look for seashells
in the morning.
Sure.
Let's hurry up and finish the game.
It's almost bedtime.
You have a one-track mind.
- I do not. I have a two-track mind.
- Oh, yeah, what's the other one on?
Well, right now it's on sex, too,
but not always.
- I'll bet.
- Uh, you're not complaining, are you?
Well, no.
Right...
I wish Ralph wouldn't have so much
to say about my being a virgin.
Ah, he's trying to help me score.
Score? Is that all
we are to you three? Scores?
You know better than that.
But to Ralph, it's a necessary
part of a relationship.
Well, it's not a necessary
part of my relationships.
- I know.
- What's that supposed to mean?
Well, Ralph, are you
ready to file for bankruptcy,
or would you like to try to drag
it out just a little bit longer?
Why don't you guys save
the rest of that game till tomorrow?
Come on, let's do
something all of us can play.
What'd you have in mind?
Nothing in particular.
Anybody got any ideas?
It's getting close to bedtime, isn't it?
Not yet, tiger.
"Not yet, tiger."
No more. I've had enough.
Enough? You haven't had any... Ow!
She'll do it, too, Ralph.
Hey, I've got a great idea.
How about a game of Blind Man's Bluff?
All right. I'll get the beers.
No, I'll... I'll get 'em.
Please?
Pam was gonna give you a fat lip,
which you really did deserve.
- Nah, she wasn't going to do anything.
- Bullshit.
Blind Man's Bluff?
I don't believe it. We're going
to grope around in the dark?
Would you rather grope in the light?
Get serious.
First, everybody gets a beer.
That's the important part.
Then, we turn off all the lights.
Whoever is "it" stays in the house,
and the rest of us go outside
and drink a beer.
Then, the person playing it hides himself,
and we all come back in
and try to find him.
When we do,
we stand, or sit, or lie down next to him.
Finally,
there'll just be one person
wandering around the house,
trying to find everybody else.
Sounds like great fun.
You'll see. You'll see.
OK. Now, who's gonna be it?
Me. I'm gonna be it.
All right.
Everybody else, out!
Come on up.
Let me down, let me down.
Oh, the poor little thing.
Sorry, Ralph, you'll have to go around
and play fair, just like everybody else.
Here we come, ready or not.
Think she's had enough time?
Yeah.
Any of you guys want a beer?
Yeah, I'll take one.
- Yeah, me too.
- Me too.
How did you know we were here?
Ha! It was the process of elimination.
He'd already looked everywhere else.
That's right.
OK, what's next?
I get it.
You know, I'm really
worried about Mike and Linda.
They've been gone so long.
Hey, don't worry about Mike and Linda.
They're just having a good time
enjoying each other's company.
You know, it has been a pretty
long week for all of us
and they're just relaxing. OK?
- All right.
- All right. Come on.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Hi.
You know, Ralph isn't
such a bad guy after all.
I know. Told you so.
I know. It's just that... Uh-uh.
We have a deal, buddy,
and I'm holding you to it.
Ah, come on...
Now, look...
You know how I feel about you,
and I want to.
I really do, you know that.
But I'm just not going to.
Some other time, maybe,
but not here, and not now.
I was thinking that maybe the atmosphere
of this place would loosen you up a little.
Shit.
Ralph, do you know what we forgot?
Wait a minute, I think
I've got one in my pack.
No, dummy, we forgot
to lock up for the night.
Lock up?
We're the only people on this island.
Come on.
Well, what about Mike and Linda?
They're still outside, you know.
Well, maybe you should
go and try to find them.
At least make sure they're all right?
And, uh, I've got something
to show you when you get back.
Oh, Lord, goodness gracious.
Oh, the kitchen door's already
locked, as if you didn't know.
Yes?
If you hear anyone
wandering around downstairs,
don't shoot, it's just me.
Going down to lock up.
Why are you gonna lock up?
There's no one on the island except us.
Oh, well, you know.
What about Mike and Linda?
How will they get in?
Well, I'm going down to find them and
tell them the fort's closing for the night.
If they want to come in, now is the time.
Be careful.
Well, I certainly will.
"Do you know what we forgot to do, Ralph?
"We forgot to lock up."
Man, if that ain't bad enough,
then I have to open up my big mouth.
"Yeah, what about Mike and Linda?"
"What about Mike and Linda, Ralph?"
Mike!
Linda!
Now, where would I be?
Upstairs in bed. That's where I'd be.
Mike?
Linda?
Shit...
Why am I whispering?
There's absolutely no one
else on this island but us.
Hey, Mike, you and Linda come on out now.
We need to lock up so we can go to bed.
Look, come on out.
Hey, I'm sorry for all those tricks
I've ever played on you, and I promise,
hey, I promise I'll never play
any more tricks.
Well, no wonder.
Whoo-hoo!
Fallen asleep, huh?
All right!
Ta-da!
Not yet, huh?
Look, I gotta lock up,
cos I got something to see upstairs.
Oh, boy.
Oh, guys, I'm really going
to hate to do this,
but I've got to make sure
you're OK for the night.
No.
Even I couldn't do that.
Ed...
Ed?
Did you hear something?
Ralph?
Ed. Ed.
Goddamn you, Ralph.
Ed. Ed. Wake up.
- What? What's the matter?
- Shh! Listen. Something is wrong.
What, what is it?
All of the kids are missing.
What?
Mike and Linda's bed has never been
slept in, and Sue and Ralph are gone.
- We're alone.
- They're just playing a game or something.
- Get up and help me look for the others.
- Leave me alone.
You've got to get up and help me!
All right. All right.
Not sleeping together is one thing,
not sleeping at all is something else.
See?
Ralph.
- Come on.
- Hmm.
See?
Ralph?
Where have you been? Where are the others?
I don't know. I'm scared.
Something's wrong.
Girls, just calm down.
No, Mike and Linda have never come back.
Ralph went to go look for them,
and now he's gone, too. Help me find him.
- All right. All right.
- We'll find him.
Yeah, we'll look around down here.
- You go upstairs and get dressed.
- OK.
There aren't many places
to hide around here.
Yeah...
- Here, put this on.
- What for?
- We're leaving.
- Oh...
- Hurry up, Sue.
- Coming.
Hurry up, Sue!
We can't leave without Ralph.
Oh, yes, we can. Come on.
I'm not leaving without Ralph.
Just to drive over to the
Sheriff's Department on the mainland.
- We'll be right back with help.
- I'm not leaving.
- You've got to come.
- Let's take one last look around.
- We'll be right back.
- One last look?
One last look?
All right.
OK, you two go around
that side and I'll go this way.
Uh-uh, buddy, I'm sticking with you.
Why don't you two go around this side,
and I'll go around that side?
- Make it fast.
- OK.
Ralph?
Sue?
Sue?
Oh, God! Oh, God,
Ed, cover it up, cover it up!
OK, OK.
Oh, God!
We've got to get out of here.
- No, no! Let me out of here!
- Shh!
Let me out of here!
Just stop! Leave him alone!
No!
Stop!
Pam! Get me out of this.
Get me out of this!
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
- You're gonna have to drive.
- OK. OK. Come on.
You think he's dead?
Hell, yes, he's dead. They're all dead.
I can't believe it.
Give me the keys.
Pick it up.
- How bad are you hurt?
- Pretty bad. I've got to get to a doctor.
I'm feeling funny.
- Oh, you poor thing.
- Let's just get out of here.
OK.
Aw, come on!
- Quit pumping the gas!
- Now what?
Great, it's flooded!
Just give it a few seconds.
Don't you have a handkerchief
or something?
Yeah.
- Here, let me have your belt.
- OK.
Thanks.
Why don't we turn off
the headlights? It'll save the battery.
- Ed...
- Yeah?
Look!
Ahh. Come on. Come on!
Oh, come on!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Pam, start the car!
For Christ's sake, start the car!
I'm trying!
We're gonna die, we're gonna die.
Oh, God! No!
Look out! Stop. Get your hands off him!
Come out, you son of a bitch! Come on!
I'll get it! I'll get it!
Look. Look!
Help! Help!
Look. Look. Look.
Help!
No!
No!
Jesus Christ.
That's my dad...
Pull forward!
Watch out!
Dr Ferrell, Dr Cooper, Dr Winborne,
report to emergency reception' code blue.
How is she?
About the same.
Hi
When the leaves of summer
turn to red and gold
And the football games bring
a hint of the cold
Time to get away
We'll pack the car with escape in mind
Forgettin' about classes,
leavin' books behind
Time to get away
Empty cootage sittin' on the shore
Tourists all left about a month before
And we're gonna have a good time
Gonna have a good time
Yeah, we're gonna have a good time
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight
In the moonlight
We'll breathe the sweet salt air
I swear we're never far
We're goin' on a...
A fall break
Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right
Feelin' all right
And when you fall into my arms
I'll break into your heart