The Naughty Nine (2023) Movie Script
1
[Principal Clark]
It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything.
All you gotta do is watch
a holiday special
and eat snacks till 3:00 p.m.
But somehow, some way,
on this blow-off day of all blow-off days
you get sent to the principal's office.
It wasn't my fault.
It's-It's like I told Mr. Bonner.
I don't know how it happened.
- [students screaming]
- [alarm blaring]
Just like you didn't know who was running
that McCallister Elementary "pay-to-play"
Little League scam.
That was a mystery.
Or who printed up fake rewards cards
for Yo-Go-Rama.
Okay, for the record,
yogurt prices are ridiculous these days.
Andy,
you are smart and charming,
and I truly believe there's nothing
you can't do if you put your mind to it.
But you keep putting your mind
to the wrong stuff.
[cries] Look, I-I swear, Principal Clark.
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Ah... Oh.
[Andy crying, sniffling]
Why don't you use this break
as a kind of a reset button?
We can put all of this in the past.
But I want you to think about
the kind of kid
you want to be next semester.
Do you wanna be
the conniving, scheming con man,
or do you wanna be something better?
I wanna be something better.
I... I can change, Principal Clark.
[sniffs] I know I can.
- [sniffs]
- [tuts] Please. No boogers on the blazer.
[sighs]
Tears were a nice touch.
So, you get it?
Dulce, who you talking to?
[crying] I... I can change,
Principal Clark. I know I can.
Please, no boogers on the blazer.
The confiscation closet holds every item
ever unjustly snatched
from a student's hand.
It's the biggest job we've ever pulled.
[exhales]
And today's our last chance to pull it.
It's the end of the semester,
which means
the school's gonna empty out the closet
and give all of our stuff to charity.
We can't let that happen.
How much time do we have?
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Pick-up's at 2:45.
That gives us five minutes
to pull this off. You ready?
I was born ready. [chuckles]
See you on the other side.
[movie character 1]
Say, "Thank you, Santa Claus."
- [movie character 2] Thank you.
- [Santa Claus] Bye. Merry Christmas.
Well, young lady, what's your name?
I'm sorry, she doesn't speak English.
She's Dutch.
She's just come over.
Shouldn't you be in class?
Uh... [chuckles]
She's been living in an orphan's home
in Rotterdam ever since...
Well, we've adopted her.
It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything.
All you gotta do is watch a...
[students groaning, shouting]
This is Principal. I want you to blow off
the day before 3:00 p.m.
See you next semester.
[students cheering]
Uh... Hey, what are you all doing?
Whoo-hoo! [laughs]
Do not make me call your parents
over this break! Get back here!
[laughs] I can't believe
we actually pulled this off.
[Principal Clark] Hey!
- What are you doing with that cart?
- Nothing.
Andy, we just talked about this.
- And now I catch you with...
- No, Principal Clark. Don't...
[Principal Clark, Dulce] Cookies?
I mean, I knew they were there.
I... It was a surprise
for you and the staff.
You guys work so hard.
I just wanted to show our appreciation.
Well, that's very nice of you, Andy.
I'll make sure the staff gets them.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
[grunts, laughs]
- Where did you... How did you...
- [chuckles]
I can't believe
we actually pulled this off.
But what about the stuff?
How are we gonna get it out?
[Andy]
The janitor's gonna carry it out for us.
Andy, what do we have for Lewis?
Please tell me it's my dad's drone.
I wasn't supposed to take it,
but I took it.
And then Mrs. Noober saw it
and she took it.
Hurry it up, son.
Some of us got places to be.
- Albert, chill. You'll get your turn.
- Don't tell me to chill. I invented chill.
Bam.
[sighing]
You saved my butt big time.
If my dad found out about this,
I'd get in so much trouble.
We're talking Naughty List for sure.
Did you know the government pays
the Internet
to block the location of Santa's village...
[shouts]
Andy, you got a slingshot in there for me,
my man?
No money, no slingshot, my man.
Five bucks.
But I don't have this many bucks. [sniffs]
[Andy] Sweet Lord.
Have you ever seen a face that adorable?
I... It's breaking my heart.
Just give it to him. Give it to him.
[chuckles] Here you go. One slingshot.
Thanks a lot, suckers.
Deuces! [laughing]
Hey, hey! You owe us!
[Dulce] I can't believe
you just blew your cut of the money
on a game for a console
you don't even have.
Your parents are never gonna buy it.
[chuckles] It's too expensive.
Which is why I sent Santa a letter
last week asking for it.
Backup plan. I like it.
I mailed the big guy back in November.
Santa's my only chance
of getting an archery set.
My parents think it's too dangerous.
- [laughs] It is too dangerous.
- That's why I want it.
I gotta admit that cookie move
was a stroke of genius.
If Clark had busted us
for taking that stuff,
we would've been in so much trouble.
We didn't take that stuff.
We took it back.
We returned those lost treasures
to their owners.
We did a good thing today, Dulce.
Heck yeah, we did.
Merry Christmas, Dulce!
Merry Christmas, Andy. [chuckles]
- [people shouting]
- [lock clicking]
[doorbell rings]
Hey! Door's locked. Let me in.
[people laughing, chattering]
[knocking]
So, Andy, how was school today?
Anything exciting happen?
Uh, school was fine, Laurel.
Really? 'Cause Stacy Wilcox told me
that Jessica Chen told her
that Mateo Garcia's little sister said
that you got sent to
the principal's office.
- You got sent to the principal?
- Again? Is that true?
[stammers, sighs]
Well, yes. It's... It's true.
Principal Clark was having trouble
with her Wi-Fi
and all the other kids wanted to
watch a movie.
So, I volunteered to help her.
Andy,
you are so thoughtful.
- [Andy] Aw.
- [chuckles]
What? You don't actually believe this,
do you?
Well, he is the one who always fixes
the Wi-Fi around here.
- [grunts]
- Who wants brussels sprouts?
You know I do.
Can't get enough of those veggies.
[sighs]
Hey, Andy.
Did you know if someone looks up
and towards the right while talking,
there's an 80% chance they're lying?
Well,
that's a fascinating factoid, Laurel.
- Hmm.
- You know, I heard that if someone wastes
their first night of winter break
reading a book about how to spot liars,
there's a 100% chance they're a loser.
Listen, I know what you tried to do
at dinner tonight,
and I respect it.
But you will never, ever beat me.
I'm too smooth,
too smart.
I'll always be one step ahead.
You may have Mom and Dad fooled,
but not me.
Just 'cause you don't get caught
- doesn't mean you don't do bad things.
- Agree to disagree.
One of these days
you're gonna push it too far.
Your lies and schemes,
they'll blow up in your face.
And I'll be there.
And I will laugh so hard.
Well, you're gonna have to wait
a long time. Maybe forever.
Do you know what I would do if I were you?
Is just go on living my life
- like it's not gonna happen...
- [groans]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[Andy's mom] A flying reindeer? [laughs]
[Andy's dad] That's what he said.
The last thing we need
is for it to get out
that a World Express pilot
thinks a flying reindeer clipped his wing.
It sounds like Bruno's been flying
that northern route too long.
[chuckles] Crazy thing is,
the dent in the plane
did look like hoof prints.
Christmas!
Everybody up! It's Christmas, people!
[yawns]
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox. Was there a sale
on Tiny Blox or something?
[grunting, sighing]
- Where's the good stuff? [sighs]
- [train whistle blows]
No way. [gasps]
This is the leotard
for the state gymnastics team. [chuckles]
I thought we were waiting
for her to actually make the team
before we got her one.
I didn't get it for her.
Maybe your mother got it.
W-What does the tag say, sweetheart?
Um...
"To Laurel from Santa."
Thanks, "Santa."
There's nothing here.
Why-Why didn't Santa bring me anything?
Maybe because he doesn't bring gifts
to naughty kids.
Your brother is not naughty.
Really?
Then why didn't "Santa" get him anything?
- Who wants pancakes?
- I'll help.
Why would your mother buy something
for Laurel but not for Andy?
We don't know this was my mother.
Remember when I said this was gonna
catch up with you and I was gonna laugh?
Well, this is me laughing.
[laughing]
Santa.
Look what I got.
It's exactly what I wanted.
That's so cool. Go show Dad.
- Dad, look.
- Let me see.
- Let's see what else Santa brought.
- Yeah, go sit down.
- [sibling] Santa got my wish.
- [phone rings]
[sibling] This looks so cool!
- You're not gonna believe this.
- Santa stiffed you?
Santa stiffed me.
Wait, you too?
No bow, no arrows. Nothing.
I always get a gift from him.
Why not this year?
Unless...
[both] The Naughty List.
You came to the right place, my friends.
Everybody thinks Christmas time is about
peace on Earth and good will toward men.
But it's actually about mind control.
Mind control?
Just as every culture
has their version of Santa Claus,
they also have a myth
created to scare kids into behaving.
In Germany it's Krampus,
and in Italy it's Le Befana.
In Japan it's Santa Kuroshu.
But they're all different forms
of the same thing.
- The Naughty List.
- So the Naughty List is just a myth?
That's what I thought
until I looked deeper.
Got this bad boy from Santa.
Two terabyte hard drive,
one terabyte of RAM.
Sixty-four core CR-990 CPU...
- Uh... Okay, Lewis.
- Right.
Check this out.
Ooh.
Yeah,
I don't know what I'm looking at here.
It's an algorithm I wrote.
It crawls the web, searching
message boards, social media, videos...
any place a kid can complain
about not getting anything from Santa.
This is the Naughty List.
Huh. Look at 'em all.
I... There must be thousands.
[Lewis] Over a million.
At least that's how many I've found
so far.
S... This is wrong.
Uh. No, it's correct.
At least within a margin of error...
No, I'm not talking about your algorithm.
I'm-I'm talking about the Naughty List.
I'm talking about stiffing kids
at Christmas.
Since when does Santa Claus get to decide
who deserves presents and who doesn't?
Since always. Hello?
"He knows you're sleeping.
He knows you're awake."
Lewis.
I-If Santa didn't deliver our gifts,
where are they?
If they never left his workshop,
then they must still be there.
[chuckles]
Wait, are you thinking
what I think you're thinking?
They're all just sitting there.
Everything we wanted.
You were thinking
what I thought you were thinking.
Andy, this isn't like
sneaking into the confiscation closet.
But it is.
The idea is exactly the same
except the payoff is way bigger.
Dulce, Santa took Christmas from us.
Let's take it back.
Even if there was a warehouse
full of undelivered Christmas presents,
i-it's not like we know where it is.
I know where it is.
Before I tell you,
you have to promise to take me with.
I-I don't know.
Lewis,
you're not even on the Naughty List.
- You wanna be a part of a job like this?
- Absolutely.
I spent three years
searching for proof of Santa's village.
I have to see it for myself.
If you show us where the presents are,
I promise I'll take you.
I've been monitoring this spot 24-7.
And the only time it ever changes
is December 24th at 11:59 and 59 seconds.
That's when this happens.
- What was that?
- That is Santa's village.
[both] No way!
Wait. Lewis, can you filter
the Naughty List by location?
Uh, of course. Why?
Because if we're gonna sneak
into the North Pole,
it's gonna take the best team
I've ever assembled.
In addition to us, we need a gymnast,
an adorable innocent,
an animal whisperer, a master of disguise,
and a pilot.
That's eight. Who's the ninth?
The getaway driver.
Who are you thinking?
Her.
[announcer] On your marks. Get set.
- Go!
- [air horn blares]
It's too steep!
[crowd cheers]
[screams, grunts]
Stop.
[groans] She's gonna get chewed up!
[Andy] Keep watching.
- [construction worker] Oh, no. [screams]
- Stop! Stop! No!
[racer screams]
[screams, laughs]
[Lewis] Oh!
[groans, grunts]
My bad!
[shivers] How long do we have to sit here?
It's freezing out.
You think this is cold?
You know we're going to the North Pole?
- [passerby] Whoa.
- Here we go.
[groans]
Whoa.
- [coach driver groans, sniffles]
- Uh-huh.
[coach driver mutters]
Lunchtime. [muttering]
- Hey there, horsey.
- [blusters]
You don't like pulling this dumb thing,
do you?
[horse nickers]
Did that horse just answer her?
[both shush]
[horse blusters]
[grunts]
[grunts]
- When I say "run," you run.
- [horse nickers]
- Got it?
- [horse nickers]
[horse blusters]
- Run!
- Hey! My sandwich!
Hey, that's my lunch!
[horse whinnies]
My horse!
- Peaches! Get back here!
- [groans]
Mmm. Egg salad.
[coach] All right, Laurel.
Just like we practiced.
You got this.
[breathes shakily]
Hmm.
[breathes shakily]
[coach] Any time.
- [grunts]
- [coach] Nice. Okay.
Keep it nice and tucked.
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
- [gymnast 1 chuckles]
- [gymnast 2] Oh, man.
You'll get it next time, Laurel.
Nice dismount.
- I'll get it next time.
- Make sure you get a video.
I won't be there to see it
'cause I'll be at the state meet.
[coach] All right, Bethany, you're up.
What are you doing here?
Relax. We're not here for you.
I'm here for her.
[Andy chuckles]
- Wow!
- Oh, my gosh.
[applause]
- [crowd cheering]
- That's our gymnast, all right.
Wow, this is amazing work.
You designed this all by yourself?
What's the sign say?
"Jon Anthony Originals."
- What's my name?
- Jon Anthony.
- What's that make this?
- Original?
- You better believe it.
- Wow.
- Now you want it or not?
- Yeah.
He made these things?
Yeah.
- Kid's got skills.
- Huh.
I don't know.
I told that hottie over there
I'd sell it to him for 200.
But if you throw cash down right now,
I'll do 150.
Deal.
- Nice doing business with ya.
- You too, kid.
I can't believe we're wasting a day
of winter break on this.
Basements are a great place to find rats.
I hate everything you just said.
[sighs]
I still don't get why Albert is here.
Hey, I was gonna eat that!
You snooze, you lose.
But I really, really wanted it.
Aw. D-Don't do that.
Y-You take the cookie.
I don't even want it.
Thanks, sucker.
That answer your question?
- Bethany, what are you doing here?
- I came for help with my bar routine.
- Seriously?
- Ew, no.
- Your brother invited me.
- Hmm.
Right this way, Bethany.
We're all gathered in the basement.
- What are you up to?
- Up to?
Laurel, my dear sister,
when have I ever been up to something?
[groans]
[Albert] Hey, Andy,
why are we kicking it in your basement
with stale cookies and a bunch of weirdos?
Every person in this room
has one thing in common.
- A tragic sense of style?
- What?
- No, we all got stiffed by Santa.
- Oh.
What if I told you
that if we all work together,
we could still make our Christmas wishes
come true?
How?
We're gonna rob the North Pole.
Who's with me?
[kids laugh]
I'm out of here.
Can I borrow someone's phone?
I need to call my babysitter.
- [Ha-Yoon] I gotta call someone too.
- W-Wait.
Every person in this room wrote a letter
or waited in line in some mall
just to ask Santa for the very thing
they wanted most in the whole world.
And this year,
every one of us looked under that tree
and found nothing from Santa Claus.
If you're okay with that, then leave.
But I'm not.
Show them what you got.
That's a pant-load of Tiny Blox.
There was a huge sale before Christmas.
- I knew it.
- Andy, the plan.
Uh, right.
Thanks to Lewis,
we know all of our presents
are being held up in a vault here.
Santa's workshop.
It was nothing really,
just some rudimentary magnetic
resonance imaging
which allowed me
to map the substructure of...
We're all very impressed.
Now, stop talking.
If we're gonna have a snowball's chance
in Florida of getting into that vault,
we all have to work together.
As far as we know, no human has ever
infiltrated Santa's village.
So getting past the guards
will be no joke.
Once we're inside,
we have to blend in with the other elves.
Jon Anthony, you're on disguise duty.
No problem.
Send me what the other elves
are wearing and I'll make it.
That's just it.
We don't know exactly what they'll wear.
Can you make something up?
[inhales]
Of course, I can. I'm Jon Anthony.
He's Jon Anthony.
Every inch of the village
will be covered in surveillance.
If we don't shut down the cameras
by the time we get to that vault,
we'll be busted faster than a kid
shaking presents on Christmas Eve.
What about me? What am I doing here?
The entrance to the vault
is across an ice chasm.
We need someone with serious aerial skills
to flip to the other side
and raise the bridge.
Luckily,
we have one of the best 4A gymnasts
in Massachusetts.
I think you mean "the best."
Of course,
getting our stuff is only half the battle.
Our getaway driver
has to get us and the loot
down the mountain
before anybody realizes we're there.
[Ha-Yoon] How do you know?
[Dulce] Lewis has been studying
the North Pole for years.
[sighs] Look, I'm gonna level with you.
This is the most complicated heist
I've ever planned.
It's gonna be tough.
It's gonna be risky.
If we get caught,
we could end up grounded for life.
But if we pull this off,
it'll be the best Christmas we never had.
Who's with me?
I'm in.
Me too.
Fine.
Hmm. Sure. I've got nothing better to do.
- Bethany?
- [Bethany] Whatever.
I already told everybody
I was getting a new phone.
Can't go back to school
in January without it, can I?
- [all cheering] Yes! Whoo! Let's go!
- Yeah.
[Laurel] You're not listening!
I'm telling you, he's up to something!
Laurel, why do you always think
your brother's doing something bad?
Because he is.
He's in the basement right now
cooking up some scheme.
Just go look, will you?
Fine.
Yes!
Hey, Mom, Laurel.
Uh, you wanna join our recycling club?
[chuckling] Recycling club?
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, we're using the money we raise
to put a new table in the cafeteria
for kids with no friends.
And I'm dedicating it to Mom and Dad,
who nourish me with love.
Aw.
You are not buying this!
- My sweet boy.
- Mom. [grunts]
Bye.
[sighs]
- [Andy sighs]
- That was close.
[Andy] All right. Back to business.
We meet at the bus stop
first thing Friday morning.
We're gonna be gone overnight,
so we're gonna need alibis.
The person in your folder
is who you're having a sleepover with
Friday night.
At least,
that's what you'll tell your parents.
Give them the phone number
listed at the bottom.
That number will call my phone.
I'll pretend to be a parent.
She's a master of the Mom Voice.
No way that's gonna work.
Bethany Ann,
don't you dare give me that attitude.
I work too stinkin' hard
for too stinkin' long
to come home to this malarkey.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
I mean, that could work.
What about you?
Who are your parents gonna call?
I'm one of five kids.
No one will even notice I'm gone.
Read your alibi. Memorize it, then...
- Swallow it.
- What?
No.
Just, like,
flush it down the toilet or something.
Just don't let your parents find it.
Uh. Yes, Rose?
I've never had a sleepover before
because most of my friends
sleep in wood chips,
because they're rodents.
My parents are gonna know something's up.
[Andy] How about this?
Tell them you're spending the night
at an animal shelter
'cause there's a dog with a hurt paw.
Oh, is it gonna be okay?
What? No, there's no dog.
It's just a story to tell them.
Oh, that's a good story.
[stammers] They'll totally believe it.
I believed it. [chuckles]
- [Rose] Bye!
- [Andy] Bye!
[Ha-Yoon] See you tomorrow.
Bye!
- [Jon Anthony] Can't wait to rob Santa.
- [Lewis] Keep it down.
I can't believe none of them asked
how we're getting to the North Pole.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Wait.
How are we getting to the North Pole?
I was pretty surprised when you said
you wanted to come to work with me today.
[Andy] Oh, are you kidding?
I've been dying to see
what a "Manager of Cargo Operations
and Distribution" does.
Okay, fine. [chuckles]
I just wanted to get away from Laurel.
She's the worst.
You know, when I was your age,
I used to fight with your uncle Dave
all the time.
But if I'm being honest,
I think I tried to drive him crazy
because I wanted him to like me.
I looked up to him.
That's a great story, Dad.
Hmm.
I'm not sure how it applies to me,
but I really enjoyed hearing it.
[sighs]
[scanner beeps]
Hey, Dad. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Oh, there's one right through that door.
Cool. [grunts] Might take me a while.
Gotta make a two-sies.
Okay. Didn't need to know that.
[beeps]
[pilot snoring]
[grunts]
- [thuds]
- [grunts]
- You Bruno?
- How'd you get back here?
I wanna know more about that
flying reindeer you saw.
[shushes] Don't talk about that.
They already think I'm losing it,
and they're not gonna let me fly again
until I pass a psychological evaluation.
What if I told you I could get you proof
that what you saw was real?
I'm listening.
[beeping]
We've got our pilot.
We've got a problem. Bethany backed out.
What?
She whined until her parents bought her
the phone she wanted.
- Can we pull this off without a gymnast?
- No way.
We're just gonna have to find another one.
- I know somebody.
- Who?
Where do they live?
Down the hall from you.
No, I'm not asking her.
She'll never do it.
You have to try.
[sighs]
- Get out.
- No, it's true, Laurel. I swear.
I got a pilot from Dad's work
to fly us up to the North Pole.
But our entire plan is in danger
because Bethany dropped out.
You expect me to believe that Bethany
was going to help you with this?
She was, but she backed out because...
because she was scared
she couldn't pull it off.
Bethany isn't scared of anything.
She is of this.
But I told her it was okay because I could
go to the best gymnast I know. You.
And of course, Bethany was like, "Laurel?
She does not have the skills necessary
for this job."
Doesn't have the skills?
I am ten times better than her.
I've just been a little off lately.
That's all.
That's what I told her.
I was like,
"Laurel can do this and when she does,
you're gonna know that she stepped up
when you chickened out."
[Laurel] Fine. I'll help.
- Really?
- But not for you.
I'm going so I can rub it
in Bethany's face.
No, no, I'm okay with Laurel
sleeping over.
It's just, I didn't think the girls
really, you know, liked each other.
[Dulce] Oh, you know girls, Linda.
We were that age once. Tweens.
Not quite teens, not quite weens.
Weens?
[Dulce] Oh, I better go. My...
My husband is messing something up again.
Argh. Husbands, am I right?
Yeah. [chuckles]
Thanks, Mom. [chuckles]
When did you and Bethany
start getting along?
Uh, uh... [chuckles]
Oh, um, they, uh... They patched things up.
Yeah.
I really have to give Laurel credit.
She was the bigger person.
We could all learn a thing or two
from her.
[chuckles]
Aw. Have fun, honey.
[chuckles]
- [whispers] You're frightening.
- [whispers] Thank you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
You're gonna get me busted.
Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.
All right, just follow me and stay quiet.
[engine starts]
[sighs]
How those disguises coming?
Almost done.
All right, good 'cause, um, you know,
I haven't seen the whole outfit yet.
Andy, you're cute, but you're in my space.
Let me work.
Right, yeah. Okay, no problem.
Stupid antique clasps.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but next time I'm going Velcro.
Everything okay?
[sighs] Can you keep a secret?
[snorts] Does a horned lizard squirt blood
from its eyelids when threatened?
I don't know.
The answer is, yes it does. [chuckles]
And... And, yes, I can.
[inhales] Okay.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I've never actually designed anything
myself.
My Jon Anthony Originals?
All copies.
I'm a fake. A fraud.
I don't know what elves wear,
I just made this up.
Isn't that what an original is?
You don't understand anything.
[sighs] Try this on.
Man, I can't wait to get my hands
on that archery set.
[chuckles] I gotta be honest, I have mixed
feelings about helping you get this bow.
Your dads are gonna be furious.
At least they'll be something.
I asked for bounce shoes.
I'm gonna be like a kangaroo on cold brew.
[all chuckle]
Santa was supposed to bring me a drum set.
I wanted an albino boa constrictor.
[chuckles]
Get back in there.
What about you, Laurel?
What didn't Santa bring you?
She got everything she wanted.
Laurel's not on the Naughty List.
- Lucky.
- It's not luck. I just follow the rules.
What if the rules are unfair?
They're rules, Andy. You follow them
because it's the right thing to do.
I like doing the right thing.
It makes me feel good.
But sometimes the rule's just there
to keep you from getting what you want.
I mean, you're breaking a rule right now
just by coming with us.
Doesn't feel so bad, does it?
Uh...
- [gasps]
- [Lewis] Wow! Wow!
- I think that looks perfect.
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
What do you think?
Somebody say something.
If I were an elf, I'd wear that.
[all chuckle]
I'm not an elf and I'd wear that.
[chuckles] Shut up.
Keep your hats on at all times.
If anybody sees we don't have
pointy elf ears, we're busted.
[Bruno] Whoa! Guys, get up here.
You're gonna wanna see this!
- [gasps] Wow!
- Wow! Look at that!
- The northern lights!
- [Rose gasps, chuckles]
[all cheering] Oh. Wow.
[Laurel] Look at all those colors!
- Wow.
- [Rose] It's amazing.
[Laurel] It's so pretty.
- Wow.
- Oh, goodness.
It's beautiful.
- [all cheering] Wow.
- It's so beautiful.
[tower on radio] Unidentified aircraft,
you have entered restricted airspace.
- Turn back immediately.
- What do I do?
Uh, tell them you're having
mechanical problems. You need to land.
North Pole Tower.
This is World Express 4-0-niner.
I'm having a bit of a situation.
My plane is very sick.
- What?
- Sick? Sick?
[tower] Uh, please repeat.
Did you say your plane is very sick?
- What are you doing?
- I'm a terrible liar.
Let me handle this. [grunting]
- [breathes shakily]
- What are you doing?
We're gonna need to land immediately.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
It's... It's okay.
- It's gonna be okay! It's gonna be fine!
- [all screaming]
Come on, just hold on!
We're gonna be fine!
[all clamoring, screaming]
[engine sputters]
[tires screeching]
[sirens wailing]
[Bruno] Hey there.
Anybody else on the plane with you?
Uh, just me. Nobody else.
Well, unless you count the packages,
then it's me and the packages.
But if not, then it's just me.
[gasps]
[grunts]
Looks like I found what's wrong with
your plane.
[radio chatter]
Huh.
Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours
to fix.
Great, thanks. [breathes deeply]
Okay. Come on, guys.
[Dulce breathes heavily]
I thought we were busted for sure.
- [Andy] That was close.
- [Laurel] Let's not do that again.
You heard them. We only have two hours
to bust into Santa's village,
get the presents
and get back to the plane.
Then what are we waiting for?
Set a timer.
Two hours.
On my mark. Go.
[timers beeping]
[timer beeping]
[kids panting, groaning]
The entrance to Santa's village should be
just on the other side of these woods.
I can't believe I'm actually here.
Do you think Santa will take a selfie
with me?
Okay, no one is meeting Santa.
The whole point is to get in and get out
without meeting anyone.
- Check it out. [chuckles]
- [Andy] Whoa.
Holy night!
- Wow.
- [chuckles]
It's real.
[chuckles] Wait,
you came all the way up here
and you didn't believe any of this
was real?
Why would you do that?
So I could say I told you so
when it wasn't. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
Wow.
[kids cheering, laughing]
Whoa!
[all laughing]
[chuckling]
[beeping]
Albert, you're up.
Hit us on the walkie if you see anything
out of the ordinary.
Mm-hmm.
[sighs]
If I see anything out of the ordinary.
I'm at the North Pole about to break into
Santa's village.
This whole situation is
out of the ordinary.
[Christmas music playing]
[Albert crying]
For the love of Santa, what is that?
[crying]
- [crying]
- [gasps]
It's a kid. Like a human kid.
What are you doing all the way up here,
little fella?
I was with my mommy.
And now I'm lost. [crying]
- Just calm down. I gotta call this in.
- [radio beeps]
[crying]
Oh, okay, okay.
I... I can call this in later.
Hey, let's get you inside and warmed up,
huh?
[crying]
Get some cookies in that tum-tum of yours?
[cries] Mm-hmm. And cocoa? [cries]
Yeah, this is the North Pole. Cocoa
comes out of our tap here. [chuckles]
Watch your stepping.
[pants]
[camera whirring]
Lewis, time to cut off those cameras.
You've one hour.
I'm on it. Good luck, Andy.
[Andy chuckles]
Ha-Yoon, Rose, find the reindeer stables
and secure a getaway sleigh.
That's what I'm here for.
I've always wanted to talk to a reindeer.
[Andy chuckles]
And what about us?
We get to the workshop as quick
as possible without anybody seeing us.
[panting]
[all gasping, chuckling]
- [Laurel chuckles] Oh, my gosh.
- Whoa.
Geez.
[chuckles]
[Jon Anthony grunts]
[Dulce] Oh, why is this place so quiet?
It's right after Christmas.
Maybe they're all resting.
This is perfect. No one will even know
we're here.
So I made these outfits for nothing?
[sighs]
[beeping]
We just have to cut through this,
and the workshop won't be far.
- Wow!
- [chuckling]
- [chuckles]
- [dance music playing]
Do you hear music?
["Holla for the Holidays" playing
on speakers]
Gonna dance till our feet give up
Everybody out there
Raise your hands in the air
And holla
For the holidays, for the holidays
All the lovers and friends
We're together again
So holla
- [record scratches]
- [music stops]
Think I know why the rest of the town was
so quiet.
[chuckles] Hey, everybody.
- We don't look anything like them.
- [grunts]
I don't recognize a single one of you.
[breathes shakily] Look, man, we've been
down in Cleveland on mall duty.
Our flight was delayed.
Our rental sleigh broke a runner,
and I haven't had a decent glass of nog in
I-I don't know how long.
J-Just cut us some slack, will you?
[chuckles] I'm just roasting
your chestnuts, buddy.
We've got the best eggnog north of
the 66th parallel.
- [Christmas music playing]
- Join the party!
- Oh, no. Uh, we need to...
- Don't be ridiculous.
Come on, friends. Nog's this way.
[elves chattering in various languages]
This is like...
- The greatest Christmas party ever!
- [chuckles]
You mean after Christmas party.
[kids chuckle]
- Oh. Love the outfits, by the way.
- Thanks. I made them.
You did not! Oh!
Hey, check it out. He made these.
This guy's a regular Elf Saint Laurent.
[all] Oh. Wow.
[elf] Check out my dance moves!
We do not have time for this.
[sighs]
Tonight, it feels like Christmas Eve
[gasps] There! That'll lead us right to
the workshop. [sighs]
This was not part of the plan.
[sighs]
Oh, look!
[chuckling]
[animal grunting]
[gasps]
[reindeer grunts]
[chuckles]
Okay. Let's grab us a couple
of these bad boys and hit the road.
Oh. Wait. You can't just go in there.
Reindeer are very sensitive animals.
You have to gain their...
[grunts]
trust.
Easy. [chuckles] Good reindeer.
"Dasher"?
- You're the for real Dasher?
- [Dasher grunts]
- Yo! You're, like, legit famous!
- [snorts]
[grunts]
- Uh-oh...
- [grunts]
[screams]
[imitates reindeer]
[pants]
- [imitates reindeer]
- [Dasher grunts]
[chuckles]
Rose... [chuckles] ...that was incredible.
You just startled him.
He didn't mean to scare you. [chuckles]
Pfft. [chuckles] I wasn't scared.
- [Dasher grunts]
- [screams]
[chuckles]
[Dasher grunting]
[Christmas music playing]
There you go, little guy.
- You all warmed up? Feeling better?
- Mm-hmm.
But my tootsies are a little bit cold.
Oh. Let me take care of that for ya.
[sighs] There. That better?
Much.
[yawns]
Oh, no, we're running out of time.
[pants] "Tech support."
"Maintenance."
"Security." That's it!
- [chattering]
- [ "Share My Christmas with You" playing]
And I wanna share
This Christmas with you
Christmas
This Christmas
Can I interest you in bibingka?
You've gotta be kidding me.
This is the best bibingka
I've ever tasted.
Don't tell my lola I said that.
Mmm.
[singing "Arre Borriquito" in Spanish]
[all cheering]
[snores, moans]
[chewing]
[snoring]
[beeping]
[Andy] Where are they?
So glad you could be here with us.
Oh, to be honest, I hadn't planned on it.
Oh, nonsense.
You spent all year working hard
so Santa could spread joy to the world.
You deserve this.
[record scratching]
[conga music playing]
Conga!
[elves cheering]
[elves] Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Come on!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
All right, five minutes. I can do this.
Santa's workshop camera. Where are you?
Where are...
What the what?
- Are they dancing?
- [conga music playing]
[elves] Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
[laughs]
[Andy] Are you having fun?
No. Okay, maybe a little.
Andy, isn't this awesome?
No. We have to go.
[Laurel] Buzzkill.
Come on. We're behind schedule.
The shortcuts will take us straight to
the workshop.
[sighs] I thought
they were never going to leave.
Now, let's shut off the cameras.
There's gotta be
a master shutdown switch here somewhere.
- Uh...
- [beeping]
[muttering]
[gasps] He's coming. Uh-oh.
Uh. [groaning]
[typing]
- [groaning, whimpering]
- [door shuts]
[footsteps approaching]
- I thought you said this was a shortcut.
- [panting] Trust me.
Going through the mountain's a lot faster
than winding your way up it.
[panting] But we have literally climbed
a billion stairs.
- Actually, it's more like...
- A billion stairs.
Okay.
[beeping]
Come on. Everybody, focus.
The entrance to the workshop
should be right up here.
- [Laurel sighs]
- [Jon Anthony groans]
[Laurel, Dulce, Jon Anthony panting]
- Whoa!
- [Dulce grunts] Ow.
Why'd you stop?
Lewis was supposed to shut off
the cameras.
[camera whirring]
[radio crackles]
[Andy] We're at the workshop.
What's going on?
- Lewis.
- Somebody there?
Huh. [scoffs]
Must be hearing things.
[whimpers] Oh, no.
[radio static]
I can't reach him.
We're just gonna have to
take out that camera ourselves.
[grunts]
[laughs]
You have the worst aim in the world.
Let me. [exhales sharply]
[grunts]
Yeah. Nice shot.
Got closer than you did.
Both of you, stop talking.
- [grunts]
- [electricity crackles]
- [laughs]
- Andy, Laurel, anything you have to say?
- No.
- I'm good.
[all panting]
[letter board clacking]
[Andy exhales]
[both gasp]
What is that?
The Naughty List. [pants]
The actual,
honest-to-goodness Naughty List.
[exhales sharply]
I guess we really are on it.
Are you okay?
[scoffs] Yeah, I'm fine.
I don't care what Santa thinks.
I just wanna get that game console
and get outta here. [sighs]
[sighs]
[clicks, chimes]
[chuckles]
[door creaking]
[all gasp]
We better find that vault soon.
I'm freezing my buns off.
[Andy chuckles] Whoa.
[exhales sharply]
Okay, Laurel,
all you gotta do is gymnastics yourself
across the chasm
and pull that lever
to raise the drawbridge.
[breathing heavily]
What if I can't do it?
You can.
You saw me at the gym.
I can't even stick my dismount.
[stutters] Andy, there's no way.
This-This was a huge mistake.
[sighs]
[beeping]
It's okay.
We'll find another way.
Another way?
You told us this was the only way in.
Now there's suddenly another way?
Why didn't we just take that way
to begin with?
I-I'm sorry.
- [sighs]
- [Andy] It's okay.
For the record though,
I know you could have m-made it.
[scoffs] How could you know that?
Laurel, the only reason
you don't stick your landing
is because
you let Bethany get in your head.
You think she's better than you,
but she's not.
You're good
at everything you put your mind to.
Grades, art, gymnastics.
It's one of your best
and most annoying qualities.
Everyone knows how good you are, Laurel.
Why don't you?
[sighs]
- [sighs]
- So, what's plan B?
Just give me a second.
I'll come up with something.
[trickling]
Laurel, what are you doing?
[gasps]
- [exhales sharply]
- [Laurel grunts]
[cracking]
- [grunts, shouts, exhales sharply]
- I can't look.
[exhales sharply]
[Dulce] Oh.
- [grunts, pants]
- [Andy, Dulce, Jon Anthony chuckle]
I did it!
- [squeals] Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [all laugh]
[all breathing heavily]
[chuckles]
You're gonna make state for sure.
Yeah, it's a good thing
you already have the leotard.
How are we supposed to
get into this thing?
Uh...
Andy,
I just stuck the best landing of my life.
Tell me you know how
to get into this vault.
I'm thinking.
I didn't know there'd be a trick to it.
It's a vault.
There's always a trick to it.
Just give me a second.
It's not like anyone's
broke into Santa's workshop before.
- You know? I... Lewis didn't...
- [Laurel] Forget Lewis.
You said you had this all planned out.
[Dulce] Birds in a tree,
and then birds in a nest.
[Andy, Laurel, Jon Anthony arguing]
What's with all the birds?
Twelve.
[gasps] Wait. I-I know this.
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[whirring]
[gasps] Yes! [laughs]
"Twelve Days of Christmas."
The song is the combination.
Nice work, Dulce!
[whirring]
What the heck?
[whirring stops]
[vault locking]
Every time we stop or mess up,
we have to start from the beginning?
Then we'd better not mess up.
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[reindeer snorting]
Come on, you dumb donkey.
- We don't have all night. [sighs]
- [reindeer snorts]
[imitating reindeer]
[reindeer grunting]
- [imitating reindeer, shouts]
- [reindeer snorts]
Why can't you be a dog?
[laughs, snorts]
It's okay. It just takes practice.
[reindeer bellows]
But you are fire with animals.
People have always thought I'm,
you know, weird,
but animals are different.
Th-They don't care how I act or dress
or how my hair looks
or even if my laugh is kind of funny.
[chuckles]
You show them love, they show you love.
Animals don't care if you're not cool.
I think you're cool.
You do?
I mean, you are weird, but, like...
but, like, cool weird.
- Cool weird.
- [snorts]
There. Good to go. [chuckles]
I can't believe I get to drive
a flying sleigh.
I think they only fly for Santa.
- For serious?
- [reindeer grunting]
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[whirring]
[beeping]
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Five...
[breathing shakily]
[sighs]
Shouldn't be here.
[radio clicks, static]
[Ha-Yoon] Sup, my dudes?
- [radio feedback whines]
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo.
[Ha-Yoon] We got the sleigh hitched,
and we are ready to lay some fresh tracks
all up in Santa's business.
[exhales sharply] Oh, you most certainly
will not.
[sighs] This is not good.
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milking
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
[door opens]
Good news. We completed the repair sooner
than expected. Your bird's ready to fly.
That was fast.
Are you sure your repair guy did
a good job? Like, can we trust this dude?
Uh, this dude is our head mechanic,
and she's my wife.
So, yes, we can trust her.
- Uh.
- Ah, let's get you out of here.
[stammers] Wait. Um, I need to take
an inventory of my cargo.
- Seriously?
- Yes, that is a fact.
It is standard World Express procedure,
and I should get started.
Four big boxes
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
- [pants]
- [chimes]
[pants] That song is torture.
[cheering, laughing]
[laughs] Oh, it worked!
Hallelujah!
[laughs, gasps]
[laughs]
Whoa.
[all panting]
Why is this place so empty?
[Andy] All that's left is the presents for
the naughty kids.
Everything else was delivered.
Our stuff has to be on these shelves
somewhere.
Spread out. We gotta find our stuff.
Yes.
Come on. It's gotta be here somewhere.
[laughing, panting]
Hello, my friend.
[chuckles]
Andy. Look. [laughing]
Check it out. [laughing]
All right, we got Ha-Yoon's bounce shoes,
Albert's drum kit. Uh...
Rose's boa constrictor.
[sighs]
Jon Anthony, found what you were
looking for?
Oh, yes.
Sewing machine. Cool, I guess.
It's not just any sewing machine.
It's the PR-980.
It's got a built-in touch screen,
200 programmable stitches
and an automatic thread cutter.
It can go from sewing silk to leather
without even changing stitch length.
Great. Grab the
PR-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and let's go.
Jon Anthony, something wrong?
[sighs] Okay. Real talk.
Before I made our elf disguises, I'd never
actually designed a piece of clothing.
Well, what about Jon Anthony Originals?
All fake. I copied other people's designs.
I wasn't even sure if I could design
something of my own.
What... What about the whole
"I'm Jon Anthony" thing?
I can't help it if my natural swagger
projects a sense of confidence.
But now I know. I can make something
truly original.
And I just want you all to know, when
I'm huge, you'll all get a 5% discount.
Sale items only.
Move!
[grunting, panting]
Ha-Yoon, slow down! We're supposed to
be keeping a low profile.
I thought this was a low profile.
[chuckles]
[both shouting]
Whoa!
[grunts]
Perfect timing.
[grunts]
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
Santa, we got a situation.
In a one-horse open sleigh
[alarm blaring]
We're busted.
We're not caught yet.
Ha-Yoon, hit it!
- [reindeer grunt]
- [all screaming]
- [guard] All right. Look down here.
- Oh, man. Oh, man.
- Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. [groans]
- [guard] Come on. Hurry.
Men, follow me!
- [Lewis grunting]
- [guard] Come on. This way!
Whoa!
[alarm blaring]
[gasps] That ain't good.
[all screaming]
[screams] Yeah, go! [laughs]
Y-You know the plan is to get us
out alive, right?
Sit back and enjoy the ride!
[laughs] Hyah!
[whimpering]
[screaming]
[laughing]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
[laughs]
Whoa! Whoa. Whoa!
[panting]
You are trespassing on mythical property.
Step out of the sleigh
and put your hands up.
[breathes shakily]
Everybody, hold on.
- [reins crack]
- [reindeer grunt]
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- [screaming]
[shouts]
[officers shouting] Stop! Hey! Stop!
This is so dope! [screaming]
[officers] Come on!
They're getting away! Come on!
[both screaming]
[siren wailing]
I'll try to slow them down.
- Dulce, you can do this. You got this.
- Hurry. Come on. You can do it.
[grunts]
[deflating]
[shouts, whimpers]
[shouts, grunts]
- Yes!
- [all cheering]
- Yes! Whoo!
- Whoo!
Pull over! Now!
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
[reins crack]
[siren wailing]
[Ha-Yoon] Back off!
[kids screaming]
- [Andy] Ha-Yoon, what are you doing?
- Trying to get us out of here!
[Rose] I think I'm gonna be sick.
[Ha-Yoon] Over there!
[screams]
[all laughing] Yeah!
- My bad!
- [Andy chuckles]
Whoa!
[screams, grunts]
- Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up.
- Why?
- [Rose] We're trapped.
- There's nowhere to go.
[beeping]
[Lewis shouting]
- [officer] What the...
- [Andy] Lewis!
- [Laurel] Lewis!
- Lewis!
- Lewis!
- [Rose] Come on, Lewis!
[cracking]
Watch out!
[all shouting]
Is everybody okay? [grunts]
Lewis!
Hyah!
- Lewis!
- [Lewis grunting]
Come on.
You saved us.
I-I-I-I didn't mean to.
Well, when we retell this story,
we're gonna say you did.
[grunts]
- [Laurel] Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
- [Dulce] No, no, no, no. Go. Go. Go.
[Andy] Let's go get Albert.
- [reins crack]
- [reindeer grunt]
- Come on.
- Come on.
All right.
- [door rattling]
- [gate guard elf grunting]
[grunting continues]
[sleigh approaching]
- [Albert grunts]
- [all laughing]
What took you so long?
[all cheering]
[Andy] We did it!
Not even Santa can stop the Naughty Nine.
That really just happened.
- Is anyone in for a post-heist selfie?
- [Albert, Dulce] Yeah!
- Where'd you get that?
- I took it from the vault.
You stole it?
No, I earned it.
Bethany didn't get us to that vault.
I did.
You were right, Andy.
We didn't get caught. So what's the harm?
I mean, this feels good.
Like, new-phone good.
Okay, everybody in here.
151 yellow envelopes,
152 yellow envelopes.
Oh, these two are stuck together.
Sir. Time to leave.
Oh, boy.
[all screaming, laughing] Whoo! Yeah!
Oh, dang. H-He's leaving without us!
[Lewis] What? [gasps]
What are you doing?
I stalled as long as I could.
They were very insistent that I leave.
[sighs]
We gotta get on that plane.
Bruno, open the door.
I'll get us close enough to jump.
What? Are you serious?
That's a precision move.
- So?
- Your catchphrase is "my bad."
Guys, I got this.
Okay. Well, you got less than a minute,
then I'm out of runway.
[all clamoring] Come on. Step on it!
[Laurel] Almost there!
- [screaming]
- Come on! We're so close!
[Jon Anthony] Start, Dulce!
I can do this thing.
[grunting]
- Yes! I did it!
- [Andy] Yeah, Albert! Go! Go! Go!
[Dulce] Come on, Albert.
Give me your hand.
Can we jump a little faster?
- Yeah!
- Come on! Come on!
[Dulce] Come on, Jon Anthony!
Come on, kids! Hurry up!
Your turn, Andy.
- Come on!
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- You go.
I'll throw the stuff,
and then I'll follow.
But... Wh...
This heist was my idea.
I go last.
[grunts]
[Laurel] Come on, Andy!
- Andy, come on!
- [Lewis] Now or never!
- Andy!
- [Ha-Yoon] Andy, let's go!
- [Lewis] Come on!
- [Laurel] Andy, jump now!
[Rose, Laurel] Andy!
- Andy, no!
- Andy, what?
- No! What are you doing?
- No!
What is Andy doing?
- [alarm blaring]
- [pants]
[grunting, shouting]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
What is even going on right now?
We were out of there.
Why would your brother do us like that?
I don't know,
but we can't just leave him there.
I mean, we have to go back.
I'm wild, but I'm not that wild.
I-If we go back, we're busted for sure.
[Ha-Yoon sighs]
It just doesn't make sense.
This was his plan.
Why would he bail at the last second?
Who cares why he did it?
I'm not leaving him behind.
But he betrayed us, Dulce.
You're not even gonna get your bow now.
- It was never about the bow.
- It wasn't?
I'm the middle child
in a house full of twins.
Everybody has a person but me.
Andy's my person.
If he wants to play video games,
I'll play video games.
If... [laughs] ...he wants to take down
the North Pole, I'll do that. [chuckles]
He is my best friend,
and I'm not leaving him.
Said you wanted to see Santa, eh?
- Well, there he is.
- [grunts]
[Santa Claus] Andy Steele.
- Why am I not surprised?
- Whoa.
It's really you.
The others got away, Santa.
But at least we got this one.
I know this looks bad, and it is bad.
I guess it's kind of what it looks like.
But it's okay now
because I brought everything back.
So we're good, right?
Me and you?
Santa?
We good?
No, no, no, you can't punish my friends.
Look, this was all my idea.
You can put me on the Naughty List
for the rest of my life,
but please leave them out of it.
Is that what you really want?
I mean,
no.
But it's what I deserve.
[letter board clacking]
W-What are you doing?
Why is my sister still on it?
Something's missing.
The phone.
The phone?
Santa, it's not her fault.
She's a good person.
You saw Santa.
Time to go.
[grunts]
[breathes heavily]
I-I swear, I'll-I'll fix this.
I'll-I'll get the phone.
I don't...
I don't care about this stuff anymore.
You can keep it.
Look who I found trying to sneak back in.
Oh, God.
[gate guard elf] Let's go!
Tell me you didn't come back
for this stuff.
We came back for you.
Hey. You weren't lost in the woods at all,
were you?
I'm eight years old.
What would I be doing
up at the North Pole all by myself?
Why did you do it?
Because of you.
[sighs] Talking you into coming up here
was a huge mistake.
I took the best person I know
and then made you naughty. Like me.
[stammers] I'm sorry, guys.
I always thought
that as long as I didn't get caught,
I wasn't doing anything wrong.
That's not true.
If we deserved these presents,
Santa would have brought them to us
in the first place.
[sighs]
I'm sorry, Santa.
I guess I got a little caught up
in all of this. [inhales deeply]
My brother is very convincing. [titters]
Uh. Yes, he is.
- So she's off the list now, right?
- No.
But here's the thing
about the Naughty List.
You could get off the list
any time you want.
Every day, you have an opportunity
to choose who you want to be.
You don't have to change yourself.
Just use your powers for nice
instead of naughty.
[Rose, Albert] Mm-hmm.
You think you can do that?
[Laurel, Rose, Lewis] Mm-hmm.
- [sighs]
- Andy?
I-I-I mean, I think I can.
I want to.
Just promise me you'll try.
I'll try.
[letter board clacking]
[scoffs]
I think it's time you kids got home.
Uh, wouldn't want your parents
worried about you.
- Oh, no. They'd be so...
- No, sir.
- Uh. No, sir.
- Definitely not.
Uh. Mr. Santa, sir,
I was wondering if I could take a selfie?
The guys at work are being major jerks.
Eh. Of course, Bruno.
[Bruno] Thanks.
[Santa Claus laughs] Ho, ho, ho!
Well, I don't think
that heist could have gone any better.
- Are you out of your mind?
- Come on.
What? Okay.
So it didn't go exactly according to plan,
but it kind of feels like it worked out
the way it was supposed to.
Thanks for coming back for me.
You're my guy. [chuckles]
Hope you're not in too much trouble.
[chuckles] Please.
They don't even know I was gone.
- [sighs] Dulce, where have you been?
- We've been worried sick.
- She's home.
- Huh.
I guess they did know I was gone.
[parent] Get over here.
[chuckles]
So, am I really the best person you know?
[sighs] I knew
that was gonna come back on me.
[chuckles] No. I mean, I've always thought
I was the best person you knew,
but it was nice to hear it out loud.
You're the worst.
- [laughing]
- [chuckles]
Well, look who it is.
I spoke to Bethany's actual mom.
Laurel, where were you?
[stammers] I, um,
got chosen to perform for the president.
Laurel, stop.
Oh, thank goodness.
Mom, Dad, here's the truth.
[sighs]
Me, Laurel, Dulce, and a bunch of kids
borrowed a plane from Dad's work
and flew to the North Pole
so we could sneak into Santa's vault.
[scoffs]
Laurel didn't even want to.
She hated every second of it.
Andy, that's not true.
Yeah, I didn't hate it.
It was one of the funnest nights
of my life.
I'm really glad I went.
I'm glad you went too.
- You really expect us to believe that...
- Shh.
Who cares if it's true?
They're actually getting along.
Are you ready for Christmas?
Are you decking the halls?
Are you ready for Christmas?
[bell ringing]
It's only just begun
I can't believe it's only third period.
I said it before, and I'll say it again:
the day before winter break?
- Longest day of the year.
- [PA system chimes]
[announcer] Andy Steele,
report to the principal's office.
- Mr. Smith would like to see you now.
- [students] Ooh. He's in trouble.
- What'd you do?
- [stammers] I didn't do anything.
I've been extra good, like, all year.
Before you say anything, sir.
I didn't do
whatever it is you think I did.
[stammers] I know I used to have
a bit of a reputation, but...
Santa? [stammers] What are you doing here?
Andy, I don't have much time.
I need your help.
I'm in a situation.
I need the Naughty Nine.
[exhales sharply]
[Principal Clark]
It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything.
All you gotta do is watch
a holiday special
and eat snacks till 3:00 p.m.
But somehow, some way,
on this blow-off day of all blow-off days
you get sent to the principal's office.
It wasn't my fault.
It's-It's like I told Mr. Bonner.
I don't know how it happened.
- [students screaming]
- [alarm blaring]
Just like you didn't know who was running
that McCallister Elementary "pay-to-play"
Little League scam.
That was a mystery.
Or who printed up fake rewards cards
for Yo-Go-Rama.
Okay, for the record,
yogurt prices are ridiculous these days.
Andy,
you are smart and charming,
and I truly believe there's nothing
you can't do if you put your mind to it.
But you keep putting your mind
to the wrong stuff.
[cries] Look, I-I swear, Principal Clark.
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Ah... Oh.
[Andy crying, sniffling]
Why don't you use this break
as a kind of a reset button?
We can put all of this in the past.
But I want you to think about
the kind of kid
you want to be next semester.
Do you wanna be
the conniving, scheming con man,
or do you wanna be something better?
I wanna be something better.
I... I can change, Principal Clark.
[sniffs] I know I can.
- [sniffs]
- [tuts] Please. No boogers on the blazer.
[sighs]
Tears were a nice touch.
So, you get it?
Dulce, who you talking to?
[crying] I... I can change,
Principal Clark. I know I can.
Please, no boogers on the blazer.
The confiscation closet holds every item
ever unjustly snatched
from a student's hand.
It's the biggest job we've ever pulled.
[exhales]
And today's our last chance to pull it.
It's the end of the semester,
which means
the school's gonna empty out the closet
and give all of our stuff to charity.
We can't let that happen.
How much time do we have?
I'm not a bad kid.
[blows nose]
Pick-up's at 2:45.
That gives us five minutes
to pull this off. You ready?
I was born ready. [chuckles]
See you on the other side.
[movie character 1]
Say, "Thank you, Santa Claus."
- [movie character 2] Thank you.
- [Santa Claus] Bye. Merry Christmas.
Well, young lady, what's your name?
I'm sorry, she doesn't speak English.
She's Dutch.
She's just come over.
Shouldn't you be in class?
Uh... [chuckles]
She's been living in an orphan's home
in Rotterdam ever since...
Well, we've adopted her.
It's the day before winter break.
Nobody expects you to learn anything.
All you gotta do is watch a...
[students groaning, shouting]
This is Principal. I want you to blow off
the day before 3:00 p.m.
See you next semester.
[students cheering]
Uh... Hey, what are you all doing?
Whoo-hoo! [laughs]
Do not make me call your parents
over this break! Get back here!
[laughs] I can't believe
we actually pulled this off.
[Principal Clark] Hey!
- What are you doing with that cart?
- Nothing.
Andy, we just talked about this.
- And now I catch you with...
- No, Principal Clark. Don't...
[Principal Clark, Dulce] Cookies?
I mean, I knew they were there.
I... It was a surprise
for you and the staff.
You guys work so hard.
I just wanted to show our appreciation.
Well, that's very nice of you, Andy.
I'll make sure the staff gets them.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
[grunts, laughs]
- Where did you... How did you...
- [chuckles]
I can't believe
we actually pulled this off.
But what about the stuff?
How are we gonna get it out?
[Andy]
The janitor's gonna carry it out for us.
Andy, what do we have for Lewis?
Please tell me it's my dad's drone.
I wasn't supposed to take it,
but I took it.
And then Mrs. Noober saw it
and she took it.
Hurry it up, son.
Some of us got places to be.
- Albert, chill. You'll get your turn.
- Don't tell me to chill. I invented chill.
Bam.
[sighing]
You saved my butt big time.
If my dad found out about this,
I'd get in so much trouble.
We're talking Naughty List for sure.
Did you know the government pays
the Internet
to block the location of Santa's village...
[shouts]
Andy, you got a slingshot in there for me,
my man?
No money, no slingshot, my man.
Five bucks.
But I don't have this many bucks. [sniffs]
[Andy] Sweet Lord.
Have you ever seen a face that adorable?
I... It's breaking my heart.
Just give it to him. Give it to him.
[chuckles] Here you go. One slingshot.
Thanks a lot, suckers.
Deuces! [laughing]
Hey, hey! You owe us!
[Dulce] I can't believe
you just blew your cut of the money
on a game for a console
you don't even have.
Your parents are never gonna buy it.
[chuckles] It's too expensive.
Which is why I sent Santa a letter
last week asking for it.
Backup plan. I like it.
I mailed the big guy back in November.
Santa's my only chance
of getting an archery set.
My parents think it's too dangerous.
- [laughs] It is too dangerous.
- That's why I want it.
I gotta admit that cookie move
was a stroke of genius.
If Clark had busted us
for taking that stuff,
we would've been in so much trouble.
We didn't take that stuff.
We took it back.
We returned those lost treasures
to their owners.
We did a good thing today, Dulce.
Heck yeah, we did.
Merry Christmas, Dulce!
Merry Christmas, Andy. [chuckles]
- [people shouting]
- [lock clicking]
[doorbell rings]
Hey! Door's locked. Let me in.
[people laughing, chattering]
[knocking]
So, Andy, how was school today?
Anything exciting happen?
Uh, school was fine, Laurel.
Really? 'Cause Stacy Wilcox told me
that Jessica Chen told her
that Mateo Garcia's little sister said
that you got sent to
the principal's office.
- You got sent to the principal?
- Again? Is that true?
[stammers, sighs]
Well, yes. It's... It's true.
Principal Clark was having trouble
with her Wi-Fi
and all the other kids wanted to
watch a movie.
So, I volunteered to help her.
Andy,
you are so thoughtful.
- [Andy] Aw.
- [chuckles]
What? You don't actually believe this,
do you?
Well, he is the one who always fixes
the Wi-Fi around here.
- [grunts]
- Who wants brussels sprouts?
You know I do.
Can't get enough of those veggies.
[sighs]
Hey, Andy.
Did you know if someone looks up
and towards the right while talking,
there's an 80% chance they're lying?
Well,
that's a fascinating factoid, Laurel.
- Hmm.
- You know, I heard that if someone wastes
their first night of winter break
reading a book about how to spot liars,
there's a 100% chance they're a loser.
Listen, I know what you tried to do
at dinner tonight,
and I respect it.
But you will never, ever beat me.
I'm too smooth,
too smart.
I'll always be one step ahead.
You may have Mom and Dad fooled,
but not me.
Just 'cause you don't get caught
- doesn't mean you don't do bad things.
- Agree to disagree.
One of these days
you're gonna push it too far.
Your lies and schemes,
they'll blow up in your face.
And I'll be there.
And I will laugh so hard.
Well, you're gonna have to wait
a long time. Maybe forever.
Do you know what I would do if I were you?
Is just go on living my life
- like it's not gonna happen...
- [groans]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[Andy's mom] A flying reindeer? [laughs]
[Andy's dad] That's what he said.
The last thing we need
is for it to get out
that a World Express pilot
thinks a flying reindeer clipped his wing.
It sounds like Bruno's been flying
that northern route too long.
[chuckles] Crazy thing is,
the dent in the plane
did look like hoof prints.
Christmas!
Everybody up! It's Christmas, people!
[yawns]
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox.
[rattles]
Tiny Blox. Was there a sale
on Tiny Blox or something?
[grunting, sighing]
- Where's the good stuff? [sighs]
- [train whistle blows]
No way. [gasps]
This is the leotard
for the state gymnastics team. [chuckles]
I thought we were waiting
for her to actually make the team
before we got her one.
I didn't get it for her.
Maybe your mother got it.
W-What does the tag say, sweetheart?
Um...
"To Laurel from Santa."
Thanks, "Santa."
There's nothing here.
Why-Why didn't Santa bring me anything?
Maybe because he doesn't bring gifts
to naughty kids.
Your brother is not naughty.
Really?
Then why didn't "Santa" get him anything?
- Who wants pancakes?
- I'll help.
Why would your mother buy something
for Laurel but not for Andy?
We don't know this was my mother.
Remember when I said this was gonna
catch up with you and I was gonna laugh?
Well, this is me laughing.
[laughing]
Santa.
Look what I got.
It's exactly what I wanted.
That's so cool. Go show Dad.
- Dad, look.
- Let me see.
- Let's see what else Santa brought.
- Yeah, go sit down.
- [sibling] Santa got my wish.
- [phone rings]
[sibling] This looks so cool!
- You're not gonna believe this.
- Santa stiffed you?
Santa stiffed me.
Wait, you too?
No bow, no arrows. Nothing.
I always get a gift from him.
Why not this year?
Unless...
[both] The Naughty List.
You came to the right place, my friends.
Everybody thinks Christmas time is about
peace on Earth and good will toward men.
But it's actually about mind control.
Mind control?
Just as every culture
has their version of Santa Claus,
they also have a myth
created to scare kids into behaving.
In Germany it's Krampus,
and in Italy it's Le Befana.
In Japan it's Santa Kuroshu.
But they're all different forms
of the same thing.
- The Naughty List.
- So the Naughty List is just a myth?
That's what I thought
until I looked deeper.
Got this bad boy from Santa.
Two terabyte hard drive,
one terabyte of RAM.
Sixty-four core CR-990 CPU...
- Uh... Okay, Lewis.
- Right.
Check this out.
Ooh.
Yeah,
I don't know what I'm looking at here.
It's an algorithm I wrote.
It crawls the web, searching
message boards, social media, videos...
any place a kid can complain
about not getting anything from Santa.
This is the Naughty List.
Huh. Look at 'em all.
I... There must be thousands.
[Lewis] Over a million.
At least that's how many I've found
so far.
S... This is wrong.
Uh. No, it's correct.
At least within a margin of error...
No, I'm not talking about your algorithm.
I'm-I'm talking about the Naughty List.
I'm talking about stiffing kids
at Christmas.
Since when does Santa Claus get to decide
who deserves presents and who doesn't?
Since always. Hello?
"He knows you're sleeping.
He knows you're awake."
Lewis.
I-If Santa didn't deliver our gifts,
where are they?
If they never left his workshop,
then they must still be there.
[chuckles]
Wait, are you thinking
what I think you're thinking?
They're all just sitting there.
Everything we wanted.
You were thinking
what I thought you were thinking.
Andy, this isn't like
sneaking into the confiscation closet.
But it is.
The idea is exactly the same
except the payoff is way bigger.
Dulce, Santa took Christmas from us.
Let's take it back.
Even if there was a warehouse
full of undelivered Christmas presents,
i-it's not like we know where it is.
I know where it is.
Before I tell you,
you have to promise to take me with.
I-I don't know.
Lewis,
you're not even on the Naughty List.
- You wanna be a part of a job like this?
- Absolutely.
I spent three years
searching for proof of Santa's village.
I have to see it for myself.
If you show us where the presents are,
I promise I'll take you.
I've been monitoring this spot 24-7.
And the only time it ever changes
is December 24th at 11:59 and 59 seconds.
That's when this happens.
- What was that?
- That is Santa's village.
[both] No way!
Wait. Lewis, can you filter
the Naughty List by location?
Uh, of course. Why?
Because if we're gonna sneak
into the North Pole,
it's gonna take the best team
I've ever assembled.
In addition to us, we need a gymnast,
an adorable innocent,
an animal whisperer, a master of disguise,
and a pilot.
That's eight. Who's the ninth?
The getaway driver.
Who are you thinking?
Her.
[announcer] On your marks. Get set.
- Go!
- [air horn blares]
It's too steep!
[crowd cheers]
[screams, grunts]
Stop.
[groans] She's gonna get chewed up!
[Andy] Keep watching.
- [construction worker] Oh, no. [screams]
- Stop! Stop! No!
[racer screams]
[screams, laughs]
[Lewis] Oh!
[groans, grunts]
My bad!
[shivers] How long do we have to sit here?
It's freezing out.
You think this is cold?
You know we're going to the North Pole?
- [passerby] Whoa.
- Here we go.
[groans]
Whoa.
- [coach driver groans, sniffles]
- Uh-huh.
[coach driver mutters]
Lunchtime. [muttering]
- Hey there, horsey.
- [blusters]
You don't like pulling this dumb thing,
do you?
[horse nickers]
Did that horse just answer her?
[both shush]
[horse blusters]
[grunts]
[grunts]
- When I say "run," you run.
- [horse nickers]
- Got it?
- [horse nickers]
[horse blusters]
- Run!
- Hey! My sandwich!
Hey, that's my lunch!
[horse whinnies]
My horse!
- Peaches! Get back here!
- [groans]
Mmm. Egg salad.
[coach] All right, Laurel.
Just like we practiced.
You got this.
[breathes shakily]
Hmm.
[breathes shakily]
[coach] Any time.
- [grunts]
- [coach] Nice. Okay.
Keep it nice and tucked.
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
- [gymnast 1 chuckles]
- [gymnast 2] Oh, man.
You'll get it next time, Laurel.
Nice dismount.
- I'll get it next time.
- Make sure you get a video.
I won't be there to see it
'cause I'll be at the state meet.
[coach] All right, Bethany, you're up.
What are you doing here?
Relax. We're not here for you.
I'm here for her.
[Andy chuckles]
- Wow!
- Oh, my gosh.
[applause]
- [crowd cheering]
- That's our gymnast, all right.
Wow, this is amazing work.
You designed this all by yourself?
What's the sign say?
"Jon Anthony Originals."
- What's my name?
- Jon Anthony.
- What's that make this?
- Original?
- You better believe it.
- Wow.
- Now you want it or not?
- Yeah.
He made these things?
Yeah.
- Kid's got skills.
- Huh.
I don't know.
I told that hottie over there
I'd sell it to him for 200.
But if you throw cash down right now,
I'll do 150.
Deal.
- Nice doing business with ya.
- You too, kid.
I can't believe we're wasting a day
of winter break on this.
Basements are a great place to find rats.
I hate everything you just said.
[sighs]
I still don't get why Albert is here.
Hey, I was gonna eat that!
You snooze, you lose.
But I really, really wanted it.
Aw. D-Don't do that.
Y-You take the cookie.
I don't even want it.
Thanks, sucker.
That answer your question?
- Bethany, what are you doing here?
- I came for help with my bar routine.
- Seriously?
- Ew, no.
- Your brother invited me.
- Hmm.
Right this way, Bethany.
We're all gathered in the basement.
- What are you up to?
- Up to?
Laurel, my dear sister,
when have I ever been up to something?
[groans]
[Albert] Hey, Andy,
why are we kicking it in your basement
with stale cookies and a bunch of weirdos?
Every person in this room
has one thing in common.
- A tragic sense of style?
- What?
- No, we all got stiffed by Santa.
- Oh.
What if I told you
that if we all work together,
we could still make our Christmas wishes
come true?
How?
We're gonna rob the North Pole.
Who's with me?
[kids laugh]
I'm out of here.
Can I borrow someone's phone?
I need to call my babysitter.
- [Ha-Yoon] I gotta call someone too.
- W-Wait.
Every person in this room wrote a letter
or waited in line in some mall
just to ask Santa for the very thing
they wanted most in the whole world.
And this year,
every one of us looked under that tree
and found nothing from Santa Claus.
If you're okay with that, then leave.
But I'm not.
Show them what you got.
That's a pant-load of Tiny Blox.
There was a huge sale before Christmas.
- I knew it.
- Andy, the plan.
Uh, right.
Thanks to Lewis,
we know all of our presents
are being held up in a vault here.
Santa's workshop.
It was nothing really,
just some rudimentary magnetic
resonance imaging
which allowed me
to map the substructure of...
We're all very impressed.
Now, stop talking.
If we're gonna have a snowball's chance
in Florida of getting into that vault,
we all have to work together.
As far as we know, no human has ever
infiltrated Santa's village.
So getting past the guards
will be no joke.
Once we're inside,
we have to blend in with the other elves.
Jon Anthony, you're on disguise duty.
No problem.
Send me what the other elves
are wearing and I'll make it.
That's just it.
We don't know exactly what they'll wear.
Can you make something up?
[inhales]
Of course, I can. I'm Jon Anthony.
He's Jon Anthony.
Every inch of the village
will be covered in surveillance.
If we don't shut down the cameras
by the time we get to that vault,
we'll be busted faster than a kid
shaking presents on Christmas Eve.
What about me? What am I doing here?
The entrance to the vault
is across an ice chasm.
We need someone with serious aerial skills
to flip to the other side
and raise the bridge.
Luckily,
we have one of the best 4A gymnasts
in Massachusetts.
I think you mean "the best."
Of course,
getting our stuff is only half the battle.
Our getaway driver
has to get us and the loot
down the mountain
before anybody realizes we're there.
[Ha-Yoon] How do you know?
[Dulce] Lewis has been studying
the North Pole for years.
[sighs] Look, I'm gonna level with you.
This is the most complicated heist
I've ever planned.
It's gonna be tough.
It's gonna be risky.
If we get caught,
we could end up grounded for life.
But if we pull this off,
it'll be the best Christmas we never had.
Who's with me?
I'm in.
Me too.
Fine.
Hmm. Sure. I've got nothing better to do.
- Bethany?
- [Bethany] Whatever.
I already told everybody
I was getting a new phone.
Can't go back to school
in January without it, can I?
- [all cheering] Yes! Whoo! Let's go!
- Yeah.
[Laurel] You're not listening!
I'm telling you, he's up to something!
Laurel, why do you always think
your brother's doing something bad?
Because he is.
He's in the basement right now
cooking up some scheme.
Just go look, will you?
Fine.
Yes!
Hey, Mom, Laurel.
Uh, you wanna join our recycling club?
[chuckling] Recycling club?
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, we're using the money we raise
to put a new table in the cafeteria
for kids with no friends.
And I'm dedicating it to Mom and Dad,
who nourish me with love.
Aw.
You are not buying this!
- My sweet boy.
- Mom. [grunts]
Bye.
[sighs]
- [Andy sighs]
- That was close.
[Andy] All right. Back to business.
We meet at the bus stop
first thing Friday morning.
We're gonna be gone overnight,
so we're gonna need alibis.
The person in your folder
is who you're having a sleepover with
Friday night.
At least,
that's what you'll tell your parents.
Give them the phone number
listed at the bottom.
That number will call my phone.
I'll pretend to be a parent.
She's a master of the Mom Voice.
No way that's gonna work.
Bethany Ann,
don't you dare give me that attitude.
I work too stinkin' hard
for too stinkin' long
to come home to this malarkey.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
I mean, that could work.
What about you?
Who are your parents gonna call?
I'm one of five kids.
No one will even notice I'm gone.
Read your alibi. Memorize it, then...
- Swallow it.
- What?
No.
Just, like,
flush it down the toilet or something.
Just don't let your parents find it.
Uh. Yes, Rose?
I've never had a sleepover before
because most of my friends
sleep in wood chips,
because they're rodents.
My parents are gonna know something's up.
[Andy] How about this?
Tell them you're spending the night
at an animal shelter
'cause there's a dog with a hurt paw.
Oh, is it gonna be okay?
What? No, there's no dog.
It's just a story to tell them.
Oh, that's a good story.
[stammers] They'll totally believe it.
I believed it. [chuckles]
- [Rose] Bye!
- [Andy] Bye!
[Ha-Yoon] See you tomorrow.
Bye!
- [Jon Anthony] Can't wait to rob Santa.
- [Lewis] Keep it down.
I can't believe none of them asked
how we're getting to the North Pole.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Wait.
How are we getting to the North Pole?
I was pretty surprised when you said
you wanted to come to work with me today.
[Andy] Oh, are you kidding?
I've been dying to see
what a "Manager of Cargo Operations
and Distribution" does.
Okay, fine. [chuckles]
I just wanted to get away from Laurel.
She's the worst.
You know, when I was your age,
I used to fight with your uncle Dave
all the time.
But if I'm being honest,
I think I tried to drive him crazy
because I wanted him to like me.
I looked up to him.
That's a great story, Dad.
Hmm.
I'm not sure how it applies to me,
but I really enjoyed hearing it.
[sighs]
[scanner beeps]
Hey, Dad. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Oh, there's one right through that door.
Cool. [grunts] Might take me a while.
Gotta make a two-sies.
Okay. Didn't need to know that.
[beeps]
[pilot snoring]
[grunts]
- [thuds]
- [grunts]
- You Bruno?
- How'd you get back here?
I wanna know more about that
flying reindeer you saw.
[shushes] Don't talk about that.
They already think I'm losing it,
and they're not gonna let me fly again
until I pass a psychological evaluation.
What if I told you I could get you proof
that what you saw was real?
I'm listening.
[beeping]
We've got our pilot.
We've got a problem. Bethany backed out.
What?
She whined until her parents bought her
the phone she wanted.
- Can we pull this off without a gymnast?
- No way.
We're just gonna have to find another one.
- I know somebody.
- Who?
Where do they live?
Down the hall from you.
No, I'm not asking her.
She'll never do it.
You have to try.
[sighs]
- Get out.
- No, it's true, Laurel. I swear.
I got a pilot from Dad's work
to fly us up to the North Pole.
But our entire plan is in danger
because Bethany dropped out.
You expect me to believe that Bethany
was going to help you with this?
She was, but she backed out because...
because she was scared
she couldn't pull it off.
Bethany isn't scared of anything.
She is of this.
But I told her it was okay because I could
go to the best gymnast I know. You.
And of course, Bethany was like, "Laurel?
She does not have the skills necessary
for this job."
Doesn't have the skills?
I am ten times better than her.
I've just been a little off lately.
That's all.
That's what I told her.
I was like,
"Laurel can do this and when she does,
you're gonna know that she stepped up
when you chickened out."
[Laurel] Fine. I'll help.
- Really?
- But not for you.
I'm going so I can rub it
in Bethany's face.
No, no, I'm okay with Laurel
sleeping over.
It's just, I didn't think the girls
really, you know, liked each other.
[Dulce] Oh, you know girls, Linda.
We were that age once. Tweens.
Not quite teens, not quite weens.
Weens?
[Dulce] Oh, I better go. My...
My husband is messing something up again.
Argh. Husbands, am I right?
Yeah. [chuckles]
Thanks, Mom. [chuckles]
When did you and Bethany
start getting along?
Uh, uh... [chuckles]
Oh, um, they, uh... They patched things up.
Yeah.
I really have to give Laurel credit.
She was the bigger person.
We could all learn a thing or two
from her.
[chuckles]
Aw. Have fun, honey.
[chuckles]
- [whispers] You're frightening.
- [whispers] Thank you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
You're gonna get me busted.
Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.
All right, just follow me and stay quiet.
[engine starts]
[sighs]
How those disguises coming?
Almost done.
All right, good 'cause, um, you know,
I haven't seen the whole outfit yet.
Andy, you're cute, but you're in my space.
Let me work.
Right, yeah. Okay, no problem.
Stupid antique clasps.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but next time I'm going Velcro.
Everything okay?
[sighs] Can you keep a secret?
[snorts] Does a horned lizard squirt blood
from its eyelids when threatened?
I don't know.
The answer is, yes it does. [chuckles]
And... And, yes, I can.
[inhales] Okay.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I've never actually designed anything
myself.
My Jon Anthony Originals?
All copies.
I'm a fake. A fraud.
I don't know what elves wear,
I just made this up.
Isn't that what an original is?
You don't understand anything.
[sighs] Try this on.
Man, I can't wait to get my hands
on that archery set.
[chuckles] I gotta be honest, I have mixed
feelings about helping you get this bow.
Your dads are gonna be furious.
At least they'll be something.
I asked for bounce shoes.
I'm gonna be like a kangaroo on cold brew.
[all chuckle]
Santa was supposed to bring me a drum set.
I wanted an albino boa constrictor.
[chuckles]
Get back in there.
What about you, Laurel?
What didn't Santa bring you?
She got everything she wanted.
Laurel's not on the Naughty List.
- Lucky.
- It's not luck. I just follow the rules.
What if the rules are unfair?
They're rules, Andy. You follow them
because it's the right thing to do.
I like doing the right thing.
It makes me feel good.
But sometimes the rule's just there
to keep you from getting what you want.
I mean, you're breaking a rule right now
just by coming with us.
Doesn't feel so bad, does it?
Uh...
- [gasps]
- [Lewis] Wow! Wow!
- I think that looks perfect.
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
What do you think?
Somebody say something.
If I were an elf, I'd wear that.
[all chuckle]
I'm not an elf and I'd wear that.
[chuckles] Shut up.
Keep your hats on at all times.
If anybody sees we don't have
pointy elf ears, we're busted.
[Bruno] Whoa! Guys, get up here.
You're gonna wanna see this!
- [gasps] Wow!
- Wow! Look at that!
- The northern lights!
- [Rose gasps, chuckles]
[all cheering] Oh. Wow.
[Laurel] Look at all those colors!
- Wow.
- [Rose] It's amazing.
[Laurel] It's so pretty.
- Wow.
- Oh, goodness.
It's beautiful.
- [all cheering] Wow.
- It's so beautiful.
[tower on radio] Unidentified aircraft,
you have entered restricted airspace.
- Turn back immediately.
- What do I do?
Uh, tell them you're having
mechanical problems. You need to land.
North Pole Tower.
This is World Express 4-0-niner.
I'm having a bit of a situation.
My plane is very sick.
- What?
- Sick? Sick?
[tower] Uh, please repeat.
Did you say your plane is very sick?
- What are you doing?
- I'm a terrible liar.
Let me handle this. [grunting]
- [breathes shakily]
- What are you doing?
We're gonna need to land immediately.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
It's... It's okay.
- It's gonna be okay! It's gonna be fine!
- [all screaming]
Come on, just hold on!
We're gonna be fine!
[all clamoring, screaming]
[engine sputters]
[tires screeching]
[sirens wailing]
[Bruno] Hey there.
Anybody else on the plane with you?
Uh, just me. Nobody else.
Well, unless you count the packages,
then it's me and the packages.
But if not, then it's just me.
[gasps]
[grunts]
Looks like I found what's wrong with
your plane.
[radio chatter]
Huh.
Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours
to fix.
Great, thanks. [breathes deeply]
Okay. Come on, guys.
[Dulce breathes heavily]
I thought we were busted for sure.
- [Andy] That was close.
- [Laurel] Let's not do that again.
You heard them. We only have two hours
to bust into Santa's village,
get the presents
and get back to the plane.
Then what are we waiting for?
Set a timer.
Two hours.
On my mark. Go.
[timers beeping]
[timer beeping]
[kids panting, groaning]
The entrance to Santa's village should be
just on the other side of these woods.
I can't believe I'm actually here.
Do you think Santa will take a selfie
with me?
Okay, no one is meeting Santa.
The whole point is to get in and get out
without meeting anyone.
- Check it out. [chuckles]
- [Andy] Whoa.
Holy night!
- Wow.
- [chuckles]
It's real.
[chuckles] Wait,
you came all the way up here
and you didn't believe any of this
was real?
Why would you do that?
So I could say I told you so
when it wasn't. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
Wow.
[kids cheering, laughing]
Whoa!
[all laughing]
[chuckling]
[beeping]
Albert, you're up.
Hit us on the walkie if you see anything
out of the ordinary.
Mm-hmm.
[sighs]
If I see anything out of the ordinary.
I'm at the North Pole about to break into
Santa's village.
This whole situation is
out of the ordinary.
[Christmas music playing]
[Albert crying]
For the love of Santa, what is that?
[crying]
- [crying]
- [gasps]
It's a kid. Like a human kid.
What are you doing all the way up here,
little fella?
I was with my mommy.
And now I'm lost. [crying]
- Just calm down. I gotta call this in.
- [radio beeps]
[crying]
Oh, okay, okay.
I... I can call this in later.
Hey, let's get you inside and warmed up,
huh?
[crying]
Get some cookies in that tum-tum of yours?
[cries] Mm-hmm. And cocoa? [cries]
Yeah, this is the North Pole. Cocoa
comes out of our tap here. [chuckles]
Watch your stepping.
[pants]
[camera whirring]
Lewis, time to cut off those cameras.
You've one hour.
I'm on it. Good luck, Andy.
[Andy chuckles]
Ha-Yoon, Rose, find the reindeer stables
and secure a getaway sleigh.
That's what I'm here for.
I've always wanted to talk to a reindeer.
[Andy chuckles]
And what about us?
We get to the workshop as quick
as possible without anybody seeing us.
[panting]
[all gasping, chuckling]
- [Laurel chuckles] Oh, my gosh.
- Whoa.
Geez.
[chuckles]
[Jon Anthony grunts]
[Dulce] Oh, why is this place so quiet?
It's right after Christmas.
Maybe they're all resting.
This is perfect. No one will even know
we're here.
So I made these outfits for nothing?
[sighs]
[beeping]
We just have to cut through this,
and the workshop won't be far.
- Wow!
- [chuckling]
- [chuckles]
- [dance music playing]
Do you hear music?
["Holla for the Holidays" playing
on speakers]
Gonna dance till our feet give up
Everybody out there
Raise your hands in the air
And holla
For the holidays, for the holidays
All the lovers and friends
We're together again
So holla
- [record scratches]
- [music stops]
Think I know why the rest of the town was
so quiet.
[chuckles] Hey, everybody.
- We don't look anything like them.
- [grunts]
I don't recognize a single one of you.
[breathes shakily] Look, man, we've been
down in Cleveland on mall duty.
Our flight was delayed.
Our rental sleigh broke a runner,
and I haven't had a decent glass of nog in
I-I don't know how long.
J-Just cut us some slack, will you?
[chuckles] I'm just roasting
your chestnuts, buddy.
We've got the best eggnog north of
the 66th parallel.
- [Christmas music playing]
- Join the party!
- Oh, no. Uh, we need to...
- Don't be ridiculous.
Come on, friends. Nog's this way.
[elves chattering in various languages]
This is like...
- The greatest Christmas party ever!
- [chuckles]
You mean after Christmas party.
[kids chuckle]
- Oh. Love the outfits, by the way.
- Thanks. I made them.
You did not! Oh!
Hey, check it out. He made these.
This guy's a regular Elf Saint Laurent.
[all] Oh. Wow.
[elf] Check out my dance moves!
We do not have time for this.
[sighs]
Tonight, it feels like Christmas Eve
[gasps] There! That'll lead us right to
the workshop. [sighs]
This was not part of the plan.
[sighs]
Oh, look!
[chuckling]
[animal grunting]
[gasps]
[reindeer grunts]
[chuckles]
Okay. Let's grab us a couple
of these bad boys and hit the road.
Oh. Wait. You can't just go in there.
Reindeer are very sensitive animals.
You have to gain their...
[grunts]
trust.
Easy. [chuckles] Good reindeer.
"Dasher"?
- You're the for real Dasher?
- [Dasher grunts]
- Yo! You're, like, legit famous!
- [snorts]
[grunts]
- Uh-oh...
- [grunts]
[screams]
[imitates reindeer]
[pants]
- [imitates reindeer]
- [Dasher grunts]
[chuckles]
Rose... [chuckles] ...that was incredible.
You just startled him.
He didn't mean to scare you. [chuckles]
Pfft. [chuckles] I wasn't scared.
- [Dasher grunts]
- [screams]
[chuckles]
[Dasher grunting]
[Christmas music playing]
There you go, little guy.
- You all warmed up? Feeling better?
- Mm-hmm.
But my tootsies are a little bit cold.
Oh. Let me take care of that for ya.
[sighs] There. That better?
Much.
[yawns]
Oh, no, we're running out of time.
[pants] "Tech support."
"Maintenance."
"Security." That's it!
- [chattering]
- [ "Share My Christmas with You" playing]
And I wanna share
This Christmas with you
Christmas
This Christmas
Can I interest you in bibingka?
You've gotta be kidding me.
This is the best bibingka
I've ever tasted.
Don't tell my lola I said that.
Mmm.
[singing "Arre Borriquito" in Spanish]
[all cheering]
[snores, moans]
[chewing]
[snoring]
[beeping]
[Andy] Where are they?
So glad you could be here with us.
Oh, to be honest, I hadn't planned on it.
Oh, nonsense.
You spent all year working hard
so Santa could spread joy to the world.
You deserve this.
[record scratching]
[conga music playing]
Conga!
[elves cheering]
[elves] Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Come on!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
All right, five minutes. I can do this.
Santa's workshop camera. Where are you?
Where are...
What the what?
- Are they dancing?
- [conga music playing]
[elves] Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
[laughs]
[Andy] Are you having fun?
No. Okay, maybe a little.
Andy, isn't this awesome?
No. We have to go.
[Laurel] Buzzkill.
Come on. We're behind schedule.
The shortcuts will take us straight to
the workshop.
[sighs] I thought
they were never going to leave.
Now, let's shut off the cameras.
There's gotta be
a master shutdown switch here somewhere.
- Uh...
- [beeping]
[muttering]
[gasps] He's coming. Uh-oh.
Uh. [groaning]
[typing]
- [groaning, whimpering]
- [door shuts]
[footsteps approaching]
- I thought you said this was a shortcut.
- [panting] Trust me.
Going through the mountain's a lot faster
than winding your way up it.
[panting] But we have literally climbed
a billion stairs.
- Actually, it's more like...
- A billion stairs.
Okay.
[beeping]
Come on. Everybody, focus.
The entrance to the workshop
should be right up here.
- [Laurel sighs]
- [Jon Anthony groans]
[Laurel, Dulce, Jon Anthony panting]
- Whoa!
- [Dulce grunts] Ow.
Why'd you stop?
Lewis was supposed to shut off
the cameras.
[camera whirring]
[radio crackles]
[Andy] We're at the workshop.
What's going on?
- Lewis.
- Somebody there?
Huh. [scoffs]
Must be hearing things.
[whimpers] Oh, no.
[radio static]
I can't reach him.
We're just gonna have to
take out that camera ourselves.
[grunts]
[laughs]
You have the worst aim in the world.
Let me. [exhales sharply]
[grunts]
Yeah. Nice shot.
Got closer than you did.
Both of you, stop talking.
- [grunts]
- [electricity crackles]
- [laughs]
- Andy, Laurel, anything you have to say?
- No.
- I'm good.
[all panting]
[letter board clacking]
[Andy exhales]
[both gasp]
What is that?
The Naughty List. [pants]
The actual,
honest-to-goodness Naughty List.
[exhales sharply]
I guess we really are on it.
Are you okay?
[scoffs] Yeah, I'm fine.
I don't care what Santa thinks.
I just wanna get that game console
and get outta here. [sighs]
[sighs]
[clicks, chimes]
[chuckles]
[door creaking]
[all gasp]
We better find that vault soon.
I'm freezing my buns off.
[Andy chuckles] Whoa.
[exhales sharply]
Okay, Laurel,
all you gotta do is gymnastics yourself
across the chasm
and pull that lever
to raise the drawbridge.
[breathing heavily]
What if I can't do it?
You can.
You saw me at the gym.
I can't even stick my dismount.
[stutters] Andy, there's no way.
This-This was a huge mistake.
[sighs]
[beeping]
It's okay.
We'll find another way.
Another way?
You told us this was the only way in.
Now there's suddenly another way?
Why didn't we just take that way
to begin with?
I-I'm sorry.
- [sighs]
- [Andy] It's okay.
For the record though,
I know you could have m-made it.
[scoffs] How could you know that?
Laurel, the only reason
you don't stick your landing
is because
you let Bethany get in your head.
You think she's better than you,
but she's not.
You're good
at everything you put your mind to.
Grades, art, gymnastics.
It's one of your best
and most annoying qualities.
Everyone knows how good you are, Laurel.
Why don't you?
[sighs]
- [sighs]
- So, what's plan B?
Just give me a second.
I'll come up with something.
[trickling]
Laurel, what are you doing?
[gasps]
- [exhales sharply]
- [Laurel grunts]
[cracking]
- [grunts, shouts, exhales sharply]
- I can't look.
[exhales sharply]
[Dulce] Oh.
- [grunts, pants]
- [Andy, Dulce, Jon Anthony chuckle]
I did it!
- [squeals] Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [all laugh]
[all breathing heavily]
[chuckles]
You're gonna make state for sure.
Yeah, it's a good thing
you already have the leotard.
How are we supposed to
get into this thing?
Uh...
Andy,
I just stuck the best landing of my life.
Tell me you know how
to get into this vault.
I'm thinking.
I didn't know there'd be a trick to it.
It's a vault.
There's always a trick to it.
Just give me a second.
It's not like anyone's
broke into Santa's workshop before.
- You know? I... Lewis didn't...
- [Laurel] Forget Lewis.
You said you had this all planned out.
[Dulce] Birds in a tree,
and then birds in a nest.
[Andy, Laurel, Jon Anthony arguing]
What's with all the birds?
Twelve.
[gasps] Wait. I-I know this.
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[whirring]
[gasps] Yes! [laughs]
"Twelve Days of Christmas."
The song is the combination.
Nice work, Dulce!
[whirring]
What the heck?
[whirring stops]
[vault locking]
Every time we stop or mess up,
we have to start from the beginning?
Then we'd better not mess up.
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[reindeer snorting]
Come on, you dumb donkey.
- We don't have all night. [sighs]
- [reindeer snorts]
[imitating reindeer]
[reindeer grunting]
- [imitating reindeer, shouts]
- [reindeer snorts]
Why can't you be a dog?
[laughs, snorts]
It's okay. It just takes practice.
[reindeer bellows]
But you are fire with animals.
People have always thought I'm,
you know, weird,
but animals are different.
Th-They don't care how I act or dress
or how my hair looks
or even if my laugh is kind of funny.
[chuckles]
You show them love, they show you love.
Animals don't care if you're not cool.
I think you're cool.
You do?
I mean, you are weird, but, like...
but, like, cool weird.
- Cool weird.
- [snorts]
There. Good to go. [chuckles]
I can't believe I get to drive
a flying sleigh.
I think they only fly for Santa.
- For serious?
- [reindeer grunting]
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
[whirring]
[beeping]
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Five...
[breathing shakily]
[sighs]
Shouldn't be here.
[radio clicks, static]
[Ha-Yoon] Sup, my dudes?
- [radio feedback whines]
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo.
[Ha-Yoon] We got the sleigh hitched,
and we are ready to lay some fresh tracks
all up in Santa's business.
[exhales sharply] Oh, you most certainly
will not.
[sighs] This is not good.
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
[chimes]
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milking
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
[door opens]
Good news. We completed the repair sooner
than expected. Your bird's ready to fly.
That was fast.
Are you sure your repair guy did
a good job? Like, can we trust this dude?
Uh, this dude is our head mechanic,
and she's my wife.
So, yes, we can trust her.
- Uh.
- Ah, let's get you out of here.
[stammers] Wait. Um, I need to take
an inventory of my cargo.
- Seriously?
- Yes, that is a fact.
It is standard World Express procedure,
and I should get started.
Four big boxes
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree
- [pants]
- [chimes]
[pants] That song is torture.
[cheering, laughing]
[laughs] Oh, it worked!
Hallelujah!
[laughs, gasps]
[laughs]
Whoa.
[all panting]
Why is this place so empty?
[Andy] All that's left is the presents for
the naughty kids.
Everything else was delivered.
Our stuff has to be on these shelves
somewhere.
Spread out. We gotta find our stuff.
Yes.
Come on. It's gotta be here somewhere.
[laughing, panting]
Hello, my friend.
[chuckles]
Andy. Look. [laughing]
Check it out. [laughing]
All right, we got Ha-Yoon's bounce shoes,
Albert's drum kit. Uh...
Rose's boa constrictor.
[sighs]
Jon Anthony, found what you were
looking for?
Oh, yes.
Sewing machine. Cool, I guess.
It's not just any sewing machine.
It's the PR-980.
It's got a built-in touch screen,
200 programmable stitches
and an automatic thread cutter.
It can go from sewing silk to leather
without even changing stitch length.
Great. Grab the
PR-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and let's go.
Jon Anthony, something wrong?
[sighs] Okay. Real talk.
Before I made our elf disguises, I'd never
actually designed a piece of clothing.
Well, what about Jon Anthony Originals?
All fake. I copied other people's designs.
I wasn't even sure if I could design
something of my own.
What... What about the whole
"I'm Jon Anthony" thing?
I can't help it if my natural swagger
projects a sense of confidence.
But now I know. I can make something
truly original.
And I just want you all to know, when
I'm huge, you'll all get a 5% discount.
Sale items only.
Move!
[grunting, panting]
Ha-Yoon, slow down! We're supposed to
be keeping a low profile.
I thought this was a low profile.
[chuckles]
[both shouting]
Whoa!
[grunts]
Perfect timing.
[grunts]
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
Santa, we got a situation.
In a one-horse open sleigh
[alarm blaring]
We're busted.
We're not caught yet.
Ha-Yoon, hit it!
- [reindeer grunt]
- [all screaming]
- [guard] All right. Look down here.
- Oh, man. Oh, man.
- Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. [groans]
- [guard] Come on. Hurry.
Men, follow me!
- [Lewis grunting]
- [guard] Come on. This way!
Whoa!
[alarm blaring]
[gasps] That ain't good.
[all screaming]
[screams] Yeah, go! [laughs]
Y-You know the plan is to get us
out alive, right?
Sit back and enjoy the ride!
[laughs] Hyah!
[whimpering]
[screaming]
[laughing]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
[laughs]
Whoa! Whoa. Whoa!
[panting]
You are trespassing on mythical property.
Step out of the sleigh
and put your hands up.
[breathes shakily]
Everybody, hold on.
- [reins crack]
- [reindeer grunt]
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- [screaming]
[shouts]
[officers shouting] Stop! Hey! Stop!
This is so dope! [screaming]
[officers] Come on!
They're getting away! Come on!
[both screaming]
[siren wailing]
I'll try to slow them down.
- Dulce, you can do this. You got this.
- Hurry. Come on. You can do it.
[grunts]
[deflating]
[shouts, whimpers]
[shouts, grunts]
- Yes!
- [all cheering]
- Yes! Whoo!
- Whoo!
Pull over! Now!
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
[reins crack]
[siren wailing]
[Ha-Yoon] Back off!
[kids screaming]
- [Andy] Ha-Yoon, what are you doing?
- Trying to get us out of here!
[Rose] I think I'm gonna be sick.
[Ha-Yoon] Over there!
[screams]
[all laughing] Yeah!
- My bad!
- [Andy chuckles]
Whoa!
[screams, grunts]
- Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up.
- Why?
- [Rose] We're trapped.
- There's nowhere to go.
[beeping]
[Lewis shouting]
- [officer] What the...
- [Andy] Lewis!
- [Laurel] Lewis!
- Lewis!
- Lewis!
- [Rose] Come on, Lewis!
[cracking]
Watch out!
[all shouting]
Is everybody okay? [grunts]
Lewis!
Hyah!
- Lewis!
- [Lewis grunting]
Come on.
You saved us.
I-I-I-I didn't mean to.
Well, when we retell this story,
we're gonna say you did.
[grunts]
- [Laurel] Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
- [Dulce] No, no, no, no. Go. Go. Go.
[Andy] Let's go get Albert.
- [reins crack]
- [reindeer grunt]
- Come on.
- Come on.
All right.
- [door rattling]
- [gate guard elf grunting]
[grunting continues]
[sleigh approaching]
- [Albert grunts]
- [all laughing]
What took you so long?
[all cheering]
[Andy] We did it!
Not even Santa can stop the Naughty Nine.
That really just happened.
- Is anyone in for a post-heist selfie?
- [Albert, Dulce] Yeah!
- Where'd you get that?
- I took it from the vault.
You stole it?
No, I earned it.
Bethany didn't get us to that vault.
I did.
You were right, Andy.
We didn't get caught. So what's the harm?
I mean, this feels good.
Like, new-phone good.
Okay, everybody in here.
151 yellow envelopes,
152 yellow envelopes.
Oh, these two are stuck together.
Sir. Time to leave.
Oh, boy.
[all screaming, laughing] Whoo! Yeah!
Oh, dang. H-He's leaving without us!
[Lewis] What? [gasps]
What are you doing?
I stalled as long as I could.
They were very insistent that I leave.
[sighs]
We gotta get on that plane.
Bruno, open the door.
I'll get us close enough to jump.
What? Are you serious?
That's a precision move.
- So?
- Your catchphrase is "my bad."
Guys, I got this.
Okay. Well, you got less than a minute,
then I'm out of runway.
[all clamoring] Come on. Step on it!
[Laurel] Almost there!
- [screaming]
- Come on! We're so close!
[Jon Anthony] Start, Dulce!
I can do this thing.
[grunting]
- Yes! I did it!
- [Andy] Yeah, Albert! Go! Go! Go!
[Dulce] Come on, Albert.
Give me your hand.
Can we jump a little faster?
- Yeah!
- Come on! Come on!
[Dulce] Come on, Jon Anthony!
Come on, kids! Hurry up!
Your turn, Andy.
- Come on!
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- You go.
I'll throw the stuff,
and then I'll follow.
But... Wh...
This heist was my idea.
I go last.
[grunts]
[Laurel] Come on, Andy!
- Andy, come on!
- [Lewis] Now or never!
- Andy!
- [Ha-Yoon] Andy, let's go!
- [Lewis] Come on!
- [Laurel] Andy, jump now!
[Rose, Laurel] Andy!
- Andy, no!
- Andy, what?
- No! What are you doing?
- No!
What is Andy doing?
- [alarm blaring]
- [pants]
[grunting, shouting]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
What is even going on right now?
We were out of there.
Why would your brother do us like that?
I don't know,
but we can't just leave him there.
I mean, we have to go back.
I'm wild, but I'm not that wild.
I-If we go back, we're busted for sure.
[Ha-Yoon sighs]
It just doesn't make sense.
This was his plan.
Why would he bail at the last second?
Who cares why he did it?
I'm not leaving him behind.
But he betrayed us, Dulce.
You're not even gonna get your bow now.
- It was never about the bow.
- It wasn't?
I'm the middle child
in a house full of twins.
Everybody has a person but me.
Andy's my person.
If he wants to play video games,
I'll play video games.
If... [laughs] ...he wants to take down
the North Pole, I'll do that. [chuckles]
He is my best friend,
and I'm not leaving him.
Said you wanted to see Santa, eh?
- Well, there he is.
- [grunts]
[Santa Claus] Andy Steele.
- Why am I not surprised?
- Whoa.
It's really you.
The others got away, Santa.
But at least we got this one.
I know this looks bad, and it is bad.
I guess it's kind of what it looks like.
But it's okay now
because I brought everything back.
So we're good, right?
Me and you?
Santa?
We good?
No, no, no, you can't punish my friends.
Look, this was all my idea.
You can put me on the Naughty List
for the rest of my life,
but please leave them out of it.
Is that what you really want?
I mean,
no.
But it's what I deserve.
[letter board clacking]
W-What are you doing?
Why is my sister still on it?
Something's missing.
The phone.
The phone?
Santa, it's not her fault.
She's a good person.
You saw Santa.
Time to go.
[grunts]
[breathes heavily]
I-I swear, I'll-I'll fix this.
I'll-I'll get the phone.
I don't...
I don't care about this stuff anymore.
You can keep it.
Look who I found trying to sneak back in.
Oh, God.
[gate guard elf] Let's go!
Tell me you didn't come back
for this stuff.
We came back for you.
Hey. You weren't lost in the woods at all,
were you?
I'm eight years old.
What would I be doing
up at the North Pole all by myself?
Why did you do it?
Because of you.
[sighs] Talking you into coming up here
was a huge mistake.
I took the best person I know
and then made you naughty. Like me.
[stammers] I'm sorry, guys.
I always thought
that as long as I didn't get caught,
I wasn't doing anything wrong.
That's not true.
If we deserved these presents,
Santa would have brought them to us
in the first place.
[sighs]
I'm sorry, Santa.
I guess I got a little caught up
in all of this. [inhales deeply]
My brother is very convincing. [titters]
Uh. Yes, he is.
- So she's off the list now, right?
- No.
But here's the thing
about the Naughty List.
You could get off the list
any time you want.
Every day, you have an opportunity
to choose who you want to be.
You don't have to change yourself.
Just use your powers for nice
instead of naughty.
[Rose, Albert] Mm-hmm.
You think you can do that?
[Laurel, Rose, Lewis] Mm-hmm.
- [sighs]
- Andy?
I-I-I mean, I think I can.
I want to.
Just promise me you'll try.
I'll try.
[letter board clacking]
[scoffs]
I think it's time you kids got home.
Uh, wouldn't want your parents
worried about you.
- Oh, no. They'd be so...
- No, sir.
- Uh. No, sir.
- Definitely not.
Uh. Mr. Santa, sir,
I was wondering if I could take a selfie?
The guys at work are being major jerks.
Eh. Of course, Bruno.
[Bruno] Thanks.
[Santa Claus laughs] Ho, ho, ho!
Well, I don't think
that heist could have gone any better.
- Are you out of your mind?
- Come on.
What? Okay.
So it didn't go exactly according to plan,
but it kind of feels like it worked out
the way it was supposed to.
Thanks for coming back for me.
You're my guy. [chuckles]
Hope you're not in too much trouble.
[chuckles] Please.
They don't even know I was gone.
- [sighs] Dulce, where have you been?
- We've been worried sick.
- She's home.
- Huh.
I guess they did know I was gone.
[parent] Get over here.
[chuckles]
So, am I really the best person you know?
[sighs] I knew
that was gonna come back on me.
[chuckles] No. I mean, I've always thought
I was the best person you knew,
but it was nice to hear it out loud.
You're the worst.
- [laughing]
- [chuckles]
Well, look who it is.
I spoke to Bethany's actual mom.
Laurel, where were you?
[stammers] I, um,
got chosen to perform for the president.
Laurel, stop.
Oh, thank goodness.
Mom, Dad, here's the truth.
[sighs]
Me, Laurel, Dulce, and a bunch of kids
borrowed a plane from Dad's work
and flew to the North Pole
so we could sneak into Santa's vault.
[scoffs]
Laurel didn't even want to.
She hated every second of it.
Andy, that's not true.
Yeah, I didn't hate it.
It was one of the funnest nights
of my life.
I'm really glad I went.
I'm glad you went too.
- You really expect us to believe that...
- Shh.
Who cares if it's true?
They're actually getting along.
Are you ready for Christmas?
Are you decking the halls?
Are you ready for Christmas?
[bell ringing]
It's only just begun
I can't believe it's only third period.
I said it before, and I'll say it again:
the day before winter break?
- Longest day of the year.
- [PA system chimes]
[announcer] Andy Steele,
report to the principal's office.
- Mr. Smith would like to see you now.
- [students] Ooh. He's in trouble.
- What'd you do?
- [stammers] I didn't do anything.
I've been extra good, like, all year.
Before you say anything, sir.
I didn't do
whatever it is you think I did.
[stammers] I know I used to have
a bit of a reputation, but...
Santa? [stammers] What are you doing here?
Andy, I don't have much time.
I need your help.
I'm in a situation.
I need the Naughty Nine.
[exhales sharply]