The New Guy (2002) Movie Script
I HEAR YOU'RE
HAVIN' TROUBLES.
WELL, NO WONDER.
LOOK AT YA.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE THINGS
AROUND IN YOUR LIFE,
SO YOU COME
TO HEAR THE STORY.
WELL, IN HIGH SCHOOL,
POPULARITY AIN'T A CONTEST.
IT'S A WAR, AND DIZZY HARRISON
IS ITS GREATEST CASUALTY.
SEE, HIS STORY
IS REALLY MY STORY,
BECAUSE BEHIND
EVERY SO-CALLED HERO...
IS A LITTLE PISSED-OFF DUDE
THAT DON'T GET NO CREDIT.
[ Fist Pounds On Table ]
WE HAVE TO GO BACK A WAYS.
YOU KNOW, EVEN AS
A SMALL CHILD,
DIZZY HARRISON HAD
HIS OWN PARTICULAR STYLE.
- [ James Brown ]
WATCH ME, WATCH ME
- [ Singing Along ]
I GOT I WATCH ME
I GOT IT, YEAH
I GO SOMETHIN' THAT MAKES ME
WANT TO SHOU I GO SOMETHIN' THAT TELLS ME
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, HA
I GOT SOUL
AND I'M SUPER BAD
HA
I GOT SOUL, HA
AND I'M SUPER BAD
- HA
- HA
I'M A LOVER,
LOVE TO DO MY THING, HA
AS YOU CAN SEE, I DIDN'T HAVE
A WHOLE HELL OF
A LOT TO WORK WITH.
NO ONE ELSE
SOMETIMES
I FEEL SO NICE
GOOD GOD
I JUMP BACK
I WANNA KISS MYSELF
I GOT SOUL
HA, AND
I'M SUPER BAD
HEY, I SAID
I'M SUPER BAD
BRIDGE COME ON
UP AND DOWN
AND AROUND
AND AROUND
UP AND DOWN
AND ALL AROUND
RIGHT ON, PEOPLE
GIMME, GIMME
YEAH
OOF! AH HURT MAH'SELF.
AND IT'S NOT LIKE THINGS GO A WHOLE LOT BETTER FROM THERE.
AS THE YEARS WENT BY,
HE GOT TALLER,
WHITER, SKINNIER.
FIRST DAY, SENIOR YEAR.
- AND WE'RE GONNA
BE THE TOP DOGS.
- RUFF!
RUFF! RUFF!
- RUFF!
- RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!
[ Laughing ]
I WISH I'D
DROWNED THIS SUMMER.
WE ALL DO, KIRK.
LET'S FACE IT. WE'RE BLIPS,
AND WE'RE ALWAYS
GONNA BE BLIPS.
- "BLIPS"?
- MAN, WE BARELY ON THE RADAR.
NOT THIS YEAR. WE'RE SENIORS.
SORRY, KIDS, I GOTTA GO
WITH DIZZY ON THIS ONE.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
TO MAKE A CHANGE.
- [ Groans ]
- FULL METAL JACKET.
[ Laughs ]
DAD, PUT THOSE AWAY.
- [ Laughs ]
- YOU'RE SUCH A DORK.
I SAY WE BE HOME SCHOOLING?
WHO'S WITH ME?
- MY DAD COULD TEACH DRINKING.
- A'RIGHT.
NOBODY BAILS.
BANDS STICK TOGETHER.
GUYS, RELAX.
MUSIC HAS
THE POWER TO TRANSFORM.
- OW!
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Muffled ]
THERE'S SOME PAIN.
- GOOD LUCK, SON.
YO, BLIP,
LITTLE HELP?
- [ Grunts ]
- OOF!
- [ Animal Roars ]
- I'LL NEVER GET USED TO THAT.
I MEAN--
- [ Car Alarm Wailing ]
- CAN ANYONE HELP ME?
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- OKAY.
- WHOA, HANG ON.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
TALK TO HER.
I MEAN, THAT IS
TINA "ASSGOOD," MAN.
SO?
THAT'S LIKE A WOOD ELF
VERSUS AL'KABAR.
YOU'LL GET POWER-LEVELED.
WE'RE NOT PLAYING EVERQUEST.
WE'RE HERE ON PLANET EARTH.
YOU SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
I'M GOIN' IN.
WATCH ME
TAKE THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
- TINA.
- AND YOU ARE?
- DIZZY.
- [ Alarm Continues ]
ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME,
OR WHAT?
OH, YEAH.
UH, YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR, UH--
[ Clicking ]
[ Alarm Chirps, Stops ]
IT'S REALLY VERY TECHNICAL.
A BLIP IS TALKIN'
TO TINA OSGOOD.
YO, LOOK AT MY BOY.
DIDN'T THEY TIE YOU UP
LAST YEAR...
AND MAKE YOU WEAR
RUBBER BREASTS?
[ Muffled Grunting ]
YOU REMEMBER.
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
I IMAGINE GOD
HAVING AN ASS LIKE THAT.
DID THAT SOUND GAY?
I'VE BEEN THINKIN'.
WE'RE SENIORS NOW
AND, UM, MAYBE SOMETIME,
IF YOU WANTED TO DRINK
COFFEE, YOU KNOW,
NEAR ME,
I WOULD PAY.
TRYEAH?Y--
YOU'TYPE.MY--
[ School Bell Rings ]
YOU KNOW THOSE MOMENTS
WHEN A MAN MAKES A DECISION
THAT'LL CHANGE
HIS ENTIRE LIFE...
AND HE STEPS UP TO BECOME
THE HERO HE WAS MEANT TO BE?
THIS AIN'T ONE
OF THOSE MOMENTS.
I WAS THINKING ABOU THIS WHOLE "TYPE" THING,
AND TO BE HONEST,
YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE EITHER.
[ Laughs ]
DID YOU REALLY
THINK THAT WOULD WORK?
NO, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS
WORTH GIVING IT A SHOT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
[ Ethereal Chord ]
YO, FREAK!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
TALKING, EXCHANGING WORDS,
INNOCENT CONVERSATION.
INNOCENT?
THEN WHAT'S THIS?
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasping ]
OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S DISGUSTING!
HEY, LOSER,
NICE PUP TENT.
WE NEED TO COVER YOU UP.
[ Fabric Ripping ]
- [ Rock ]
- OW!
OH!
WHAT IS THIS?
MRS. WHITMAN,
IT'S MY, UM--
WELL, IT'S MINE NOW.
OUCH!
IS THIS A WEAPON?
YOU CAN'T BRING
LOADED WEAPONS TO SCHOOL.
LADY, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE TEARING THE SKIN!
MRS. WHITMAN!
[ Screams ]
OW! MY--
I'M SHOWING THIS
TO PRINCIPAL ZAYLOR.
- CUT IT OUT!
- [ Cracks ]
[ No Audible Scream ]
GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT ME
GOT ME SO I DON' KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN'.
IT'S NOT MEDICALLY POSSIBLE.
LET ME ASK YOU THIS--
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
[ Screeches ]
I HAVE GOOD NEWS.
YOUR SON'S
CONDITION IS TREATABLE.
CONDITION?
WHAT CONDITION?
THAT I CAN PEE
AROUND A CORNER?
DIZZY, WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
HE CAN'T HELP IT. YOU SEE,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH DIZZY,
IN MEDICAL TERMS,
IT'S CALLED
TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.
[ Laughs ]
TOURETTE SYNDROME?
ARE YOU OU OF YOUR F-- [ Muffled ]
LANGUAGE, SON.
NO, NO, NO.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA CURE HIM
WITH FORCE, PAPA BEAR.
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT O' HUGS
AND A LOT O' DRUGS.
NOW, ONLY TAKE ONE
O' THESE A DAY. NICE PACK.
YOUR LIFE
IS GOING NOWHERE FAST
THERE HE IS.
DIZ?
[ Slurred ] THEY
GAVE ME THESE PILLS
FOR MY TOURETTE'S,
BUT THEY'RE NOT...
WORKING.
COME ON.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
NOT THAT BAD?
AT LEAST AS BLIPS...
WE WERE INVISIBLE.
IF YOU BREAK YOUR DICK
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL,
PEOPLE REMEMBER THAT.
HE'S RIGHT.
HIS LIFE IS RUINED.
I MEAN, I'M AN IDIOT.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO
BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN.
I NEED MORE
OF THESE PILLS.
[ Choir ]
OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
YO, DIZ, MAN, HOW CAN YOU
BE DEPRESSED...
WITH ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL CHURCH
MUSIC LIKE THAT PLAYING, HUH?
DIZ?
DIZ?
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
YES, YES, YES!
THANK YOU, BROTHERS
AND SISTERS...
OF THE SUNSHINE
GOSPEL CHOIR.
VERY STIRRING.
VERY HIP.
AMEN!
YES, YES, YES.
NOW, DO THE REST OF YOU
YOUNG PEOPLE KNOW...
WHAT ELSE IS HIP?
SEXUAL ABSTINENCE.
CAN I GET AN "AMEN"
ON THAT?
AMEN!
OH, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
I SAID, GLORY,
HALLELUJAH!
GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
- GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
- OOF!
[ Slurred ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
I'D LIKE TO TALK
TO YOU ALL ABOUT SEX.
THE DEVIL'S MIDDLE NAME. SEX!
AMEN!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST FORM
OF SEXUAL ABSTINENCE IS?
- BEIN' ME.
- [ Murmuring ]
CAN I GET AN "AMEN"?
AMEN!
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT SOME PAIN?
LET ME HEAR YA!
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT PAIN?
THAT BOY'S GO THE SPIRIT.
HE'S AN IDIOT.
IF EVERY MEMBER
OF THE OPPOSITE
SEX EVER TOLD YOU...
YOU WERE NOT HER TYPE!
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA SHOUT "AMEN"...
IF YOU'VE EVER
HAD DUCT TAPE-UH
RIPPED OFF-UH...
YOUR NAKED BUTTOCKS-UH!
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA SHOUT "AMEN"...
IF YOU'VE EVER HAD YOUR
MANHOOD RIGHT-ANGLED...
IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE-UH
CONGREGATION!
NOW, LET ME HEAR YA SHOU "AMEN" UP HIGH--
LET'S GO, WHITE BOY.
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA
SHOUT "AMEN."
THIS BOY WAS IN PAIN.
HE WAS IN TROUBLE.
HE NEEDED GUIDANCE.
HE WAS ABOUT TO GE A LESSON IN BAD
FROM THE BES IN THE BUSINESS.
[ Flashbulbs Popping ]
[ Door Slams ]
WHAT HAPPENED TO PACO?
I GOT NO ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION.
BACK UP.
THE NEW MAN IS MINE.
[ Whip Snaps ]
NOT THE CRAZY EYES, LUTHER.
I WAS JUST MESSIN'.
YOU BEEN LOOKIN'
AT MY JANET?
NO. NO WAY.
EIGHTEEN YEARS
AND FORTY-ONE DAYS...
IT'S ME AND YOU, BABY.
[ Whip Snaps ]
UM,
OKAY, I'M SCARED.
- GUARD?
- OH, THAT'S SO--
RELAX, WHITE BOY.
OKAY.
WHAT'D YA DO
TO GET IN HERE?
UM, WELL, I-I-I'M
NOT REALLY SURE.
S-SEE, I'VE BEEN
HEAVILY MEDICATED LATELY,
- AND THE LAS THING I REMEMBER...
- [ Sniffing ]
IS MY DAD DROPPING ME OFF
IN SCHOOL.
- YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
- YES.
I STILL GET CHILLS
THINKIN' ABOUT IT.
FISH STICKS!
[ Spits ]
WELL,
I'VE OFFICIALLY BECOME...
THE BIGGEST LOSER
AT MY SCHOOL,
SO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE
GOING BACK THERE.
SO IT'S OKAY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ Whispering ]
I SEE THAT.
I WAS A BI-ITCH
AT THE LAST PRISON.
I REMEMBER THEY
STRAPPED ME TO A CHAIR...
WITH DUCT TAPE...
IN A DRESS!
WITH... MAKEUP?
- FAKE--
- [ Together ] RUBBER BREASTS.
MY BROTHER,
COME ON OVER HERE
AND SIT DOWN.
YOU KNOW, HIGH SCHOOL
IS A LOT LIKE PRISON:
BAD FOOD, HIGH FENCES.
THE SEX YOU WANT,
YOU AIN'T GETTIN',
THE SEX YOU GETTIN',
YOU DON'T WANT.
I SEEN TERRIBLE THINGS.
YESTERDAY, AN 80-YEAR-OLD
LIBRARIAN BROKE MY PENIS.
YOU WIN.
SO HOW DID
YOU CHANGE THINGS?
GOT MYSELF THROWN OU THE LAST PRISON,
THEN I STARTED
FRESH HERE.
THAT WORKED?
- WATCH THIS.
- [ Whip Snaps ]
[ Gasping ]
- [ Whip Snaps ]
- [ Gasps ]
WOW. THAT'S WHA I GOTTA DO--
SWITCH PRISONS
AND START OVER.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT YOU DID
TO GET KICKED OUT.
I'LL DO ANYTHING.
WELL, THE FIRST THING
I DID...
WAS BROKE
ALL THE RULES.
I CAN BREAK
ALL THE RULES.
THEN I STARTED
ACTIN' CRAZY.
YEAH, I CAN ACT ALL--
[ Imitating Luther ] CRAZY.
THEN I GRABBED
A BROKEN MOP HANDLE
AND SNAPPED I ACROSS THE WARDEN'S BUTT.
[ School Bell Ringing ]
HEY, LISTEN, YOU GUYS,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE.
WHY DON'T WE GE EXPELLED TOGETHER?
NAH, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU CAN GO.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN?
- NO.
I TALK A BIG GAME,
BUT I'M NOT AS
TOUGH AS I LOOK.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING,
MR. HARRISON?
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT AMI THINKING?
HEY, EVERYBODY, THE ANSWER
TO NUMBER 23 IS "GUAM."
THANKS, BROKE WOOD.
AND, MR. LUBEROFF,
THERE'S MORE WHERE
THIS CAME FROM AT FINALS TIME.
[ Sputtering ]
WATCH ME
[ Screeches ]
MY LORD, DIZZY--
CHEATIN', BRIBERY.
THOSE ARE GROUNDS
FOR EXPULSION--
OR AN OBVIOUS CRY
FOR HELP.
WOULD BE BADLY UPSET.
OTHERS,
LIKE THE PRAYING MANTIS,
OFTEN EAT THEIR MATES--
[ Flips Switch ]
WHAT'S BROKE WOOD DOING?
WALKIN'
THROUGH THE CORRIDORS
THIRD-YEAR SOPHOMORE
FEELIN' LIKE AN AMATEUR
A SPY IN CANADA
TALKIN' TO
THE COUNSELOR WHO'S
BORED WITH HIS OWN JOKES
- CHECKIN' ON MY STORY
- [ Students ] HUH?
I MUST BE IMMATURE
MY BRAIN'S ON A DETOUR
NEVER GONNA LIVE
TO BE A SENIOR
BUT I DON'T CARE
'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S UNFAIR
I GOT PLANS TO BE
THE DROPOUT MILLIONAIRE
OH, NO,
DON'T GET ME WRONG
ME AND SCHOOL
JUST DON'T GET ALONG
YO, THAT'S
PRINCIPAL ZAYLOR.
[ Gasping, Laughing ]
[ Groaning, Straining ]
YOU'RE A FIGHTER.
TRY THIS!
CHICKEN! CHICKEN!
SAY "MERCY."
[ Groans ]
OH, YOU'RE ALMOS AT THE HEAD OF THE CLASS.
- [ Flatulence, Splashing ]
- [ Groans ]
[ Splashing ]
AND... CUT.
[ Laughing ]
[ Screeches ]
THIS IS THE PAR OF MY JOB I HATE.
EXPELLING PEOPLE?
NO, SILLY GOOSE, WE'RE GONNA
DOUBLE YOUR MEDICATION,
INCREASE YOUR THERAPY AND
YOU MAY STAY ANOTHER YEAR.
HEY, LOSER,
HOW'S IT HANGIN'?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT TOILET-CAM
WAS YOUR BEST WORK EVER.
LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA BE STUCK
HERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE--
OR AM I?
HEY! HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ Cracks ]
HUH? HALT!
DID YOU JUST BREAK THAT MOP,
HARRISON? GIVE ME THAT.
YES.
YOU DESTROYED SCHOOL PROPERTY.
YOU'RE EXPELLED.
YES!
I DID IT. I BUSTED OUT.
A'RIGHT, KID.
I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU READY TO BE
LUTHER-SIZED?
PREACH, MY BROTHER.
MAN, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU
FROM BITCH TO BULL.
[ Laughs ]
[ Horse Snorting ]
YOU WANNA GET A REPUTATION
AT YOUR NEW SCHOOL,
YOU HAVE TO CRACK OPEN HEADS
IN THE YARD DAY ONE.
FIND THE BIGGEST, BADDEST CA AND WHUP HIS ASS.
MAKE SURE EVERYBODY
SEES HIM GO DOWN.
"EVERYBODY SEES HIM
GO DOWN." GOT IT.
[ Grunts ]
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE
BORN WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE.
[ Grunting ]
LIKE BARCLAY.
WHO'S BARCLAY?
HE'S THE BULLY
AT MY LAST SCHOOL.
[ Grunts ]
HE MIGHT BE
BORN WITH IT,
BUT WITH MY INSIGHT,
STREET SMARTS...
AND KNOWLEDGE OF EVERY
ACTION MOVIE EVER MADE,
WE GONNA PERFECT IT.
- [ Horse Neighs ]
- UH-OH.
[ Gunshot ]
AH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT.
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
SAME CAT.
NEVER GETS AWAY.
COME ON.
THE FIRST THING
YOU WANNA DO...
IS GOUGE THE DUDE'S EYES OU SO HE CAN'T SEE TO FIGHT.
HEY, THIS KID'S
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OH, THEN YOU'RE GONNA
WANNA FIGHT DIRTY.
ALL RIGHT,
SET YOUR FEET,
SPREAD YOUR PALMS--
TIGER CLAW!
[ Gong Sounds ]
ARE YOU SURE IT'S
NOT "TIGER PAW"?
- [ Groans ]
- [ Hits Ground ]
- TIGER CLAW!
- [ Gong Sounds ]
NOW YOU'RE READY.
[ Growling ]
JUST WATCH MY HANDS.
WATCH MY HANDS.
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Laughing ]
GRAB SOME ROPE.
WE GOTTA BUILD SOME MUSCLE.
OH, YOU ACT LIKE
YOU CAN'T GET UP THERE.
WELL, MOTIVATION'S
ON THE WAY. HEH, HEH.
YES, INDEED-Y.
FEED THE NEEDY. THERE YOU GO.
LUTHER,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YES, INDEED.
OH, GET UP THERE.
WHAT'S THAT BURNING?
THAT'S ME!
[ Screams ]
UH, JUST ROLL AROUND.
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU CAN'T ACT TOUGH,
YOU GOTTA LOOK TOUGH.
- OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW--
- [ Sizzling ]
BUTCH UP, GIRLY-PANTS.
GOT A SEC?
PHONE CALL FOR YOU,
WARDEN.
WIFE AGAIN?
[ Horse Neighs ]
[ Gunshot ]
[ Laughing ]
I'LL NEVER GET TIRED
OF THAT. [ Laughs ]
IF YOU TALK THE TALK,
YOU WALK THE WALK--
HEY, LUTHER.
OTHERWISE, YOU BE
LINED IN CHALK.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEBODY.
[ Metal Door Clangs ]
- THE FUNK MASTER.
- [ Hissing ]
[ Trumpet Fanfare ]
SOMEBODY...
GIVE ME A BEAT!
STAND ON THE STAGE
LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE LIGH A YOUNG BLACK RAPPER
I DO ALL RIGH AND YOU CAN FEEL THE KIDS
A-KICKIN' HIS SONGS
AND WHEN I'M ON THE MIKE
THEM CRAZY EYES--
IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY HIT YOU
IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD...
AND YOUR EYES ALMOS JUMP OUT YOUR SKULL.
TRY IT!
THIS IS YOUR "BROTHER,
WHERE MY MONEY" WALK.
WHERE IT AT?
WHERE IT AT?
'BOUT TO BUST A CAP.
'BOUT TO BUST A CAP.
FLARE YOUR NOSTRILS OUT.
YOU GOTTA OPEN 'EM UP...
SO EVERYBODY
CAN SEE THE ROCKS,
THE BULLETS IN THERE.
LOOSEN THE ASS.
THAT'S TOO LOOSE.
THEY GONNA TRY
AND PLAY YOU LIKE A BITCH,
SO YOU GOTTA HIT 'EM
WITH A "BITCH" FIRST,
LIKE "WHO'S THE BITCH NOW"?
WATCH THIS.
[ Whip Snaps ]
TRY IT! TRY IT!
[ Squeaky Scratching ]
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
I'M THINKING, HALF BRAD PITT,
FIGHT CLUB,
HALF ANNE HECHE,
IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK.
THIS IS FOR
YOUR STUDENT I.D.
YOUR NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE.
AND THIS ONE'S
FOR THE PLAYER'S CLUB.
ESTE! QUIETO, PAPI.
[ Laughing ]
HA-- THAT AIN'T RIGHT.
BILLYCOCK IT! YOU KNOW?
COCK IT. FIRE!
COCK IT.
SHOOT THE GUN.
SHOOT THE GUN!
COCK IT--
[ Hits Floor ]
TIGER CLAW!
[ Gong Sounds ]
[ Laughs ]
- [ Yells ]
- [ Bell Rings ]
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
[Luther] NOW YOU'RE READY
FOR YOUR NEW PRISON.
JUST WANT TO CLING ON
SWING ON AND SO FORTH
GO ON, FALL OFF
THE HO'S ROLL ON
TILL THE NEXT ROCK SUPERSTAR
WITH NO SHAME
HEY, MASCOT,
YOU DROPPED YOUR BAGPIPES!
[ Honks ]
OH, THANK YOU.
[ Groans ]
SUCK ON THAT, PAL!
[ Panting ]
HEY, TUBA MIDGET.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
THIS PLACE IS A ZOO.
HE DID SAY 12:30.
YEAH.
SO WHERE IS HE?
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Hydraulics Hissing ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Chains Rattling ]
OOH.
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
- [ Heavy Breathing ]
[ Heavy Breathing Continues ]
[ Chains Rattling ]
[ Heavy Breathing Continues ]
[ Whispering ]
GOOD LUCK, KID.
FLIP HIM!
[ Chains Rattling ]
BACK IN THE TRUCK!
[ Both ] WHOA.
IS THAT... DIZ?
- OH, MY GOD.
- [ Laughing ]
HE'S GO KIND OF A...
BRAD PITT THING
GOING THERE.
FROM BITCH
TO BULL, BABY.
I SAW A LITTLE
ANNE HECHE THERE TOO.
DOES THATSOUND GAY?
"FIND THE BIGGEST, BADDES MOTHER IN THE YARD...
AND KNOCK HIS ASS OUT."
LIFT THE KNEES, MAGGOT.
MAYBE WE'LL WIN ONE SORRY-ASS
GAME THIS YEAR.
- I THINK I'M
GONNA PUKE, COACH.
- USE IT!
KEEP LOOKIN' A THE HORSE'S ASS AND RUN.
ON THOSE SATURDAYS
WHEN KIDS GO OUT AND PLAY
YO, I WAS UP IN MY ROOM
I LET THE STEREO BLAZE
WASN'T FADED,
NOT JADED JUST A KID
WITH A PAD AND A PEN
AND A BIG IMAGINATION
BIGGEST AND BADDEST, BABY--
A-T-T-A-C-K THE LEADER
OF THE PACK.
PUNCH. A-T-T-A-C-K--
CARMEN, MORE CHEER,
LESS BULL DANCE, OKAY?
WE DON'T WANT GUYS STUFFING
BILLS DOWN YOUR PANTIES.
WHAT PANTIES?
CLICK,
CLICK, BOOM, I'M COMIN'
DOWN ON THE STEREO
HEAR ME ON THE RADIO
CLICK, CLICK, BOOM
I'M COMIN' DOWN
[ Whimpers ]
DON'T I HAVE
A DREAMY BOYFRIEND?
AND MAKE SURE EVERYBODY
SEES HIM GO DOWN.
CAREFUL.
HEY, YOU MIND
IF I SIT DOWN?
WRONG LEVEL, BITCH.
BITCH? SAY WHAT?
I THINK WE GO A REAL SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE.
YEAH? WELL, IF IT'S YOU,
THERE'S NO PRO--
[ Screams ]
[ Grunting ]
WHOA!
[ Laughing ]
[ School Bell Ringing ]
I'M COMIN'
DOWN ON THE STEREO
HEAR ME ON THE RADIO
- HI.
- OKAY.
CLICK, CLICK, BOOM
DUDE, WHAT'S WITH YOU?
WHO'S THE BI-ITCH NOW?
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Grunting ]
YOU GUYS MIGHT WANT TO COME
SCOOP UP YOUR FRIEND.
SHIT.
[ Panting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
GOD--
[ Panting ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN',
FREAK?
KNOCKING YOU INTO THE HALL
AND ME INTO THE HISTORY BOOKS.
[ Whispers ]
OKAY--
[ Shouts ]
WHO'S THE BI-ITCH NOW?
YOU'VE GOTTA BE
KIDDING ME!
[ Body Skidding On Wall ]
OH, GOD.
[ Panting ]
- [ Glass Breaks ]
- [ Glass Hitting Floor ]
DON'T PUSH AWAY.
[ Hits Floor ]
HELP.
[ Alarm Ringing ]
WHO'S... THE...
BITCH... NOW?
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Gasping ]
- [ Alarm Continues ]
- [ Murmuring ]
COMING THROUGH.
LOOK OUT. LOOK OUT.
LOOK OUT. COMING THROUGH.
TAKE YOUR HAT OFF IN SCHOOL.
- [ Alarm Continues ]
- [ Key Chain Zips ]
- [ Alarm Stops ]
- [ Key Chain Zips ]
CAN WE ALL HAVE A ROUND OF
APPLAUSE FOR CONNER MAGUIRE?
EVERYONE?
COME ON. YEAH.
EVERYONE?
YOU? YEAH.
COME ON.
DON'T BE SHY.
STOP IT!
ALL OF YOU!
HELLO, SON.
NOW, I TOLD YOU LAST TIME,
YOU START SOMETHING,
YOU'RE WHAT?
YOU'RE GONE!
WELL, MY FRIEND, LOOKS
LIKE IT'S LAST CALL, HUH?
LAST CALL?
HE DIDN'T START IT.
I DID.
WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU?
I'M THE NEW GUY.
[ Whip Snaps ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Whip Snaps ]
HEY, MAN,
HOW'S THE NOSE?
SHUT UP.
LOOK AT "DAT" FREAK
SITTING ON "TOB" OF THE TOWER.
MOVE!
I THINK WE SHOULD
UNROLL THE WELCOME MAT.
YEAH? I THINK I SHOULD
GO KICK HIS ASS.
GREAT. I'VE DREAMED
OF DATING THE EXPELLED GUY.
EXPELLED GUYS ROCK.
LATER.
LATER.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
OVER THERE.
WELL, I WASN'T.
NOW I AM. LATER.
HEY, MAN,
SHE JUST DISSED YOU.
DUDE, SHUT UP.
HEY, NEW GUY.
GOT A NAME?
HARRIS. GIL HARRIS.
I'M COURTNEY.
THAT'S CARMEN.
THAT'S DANIELLE.
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE OUR
LITTLE SLICE OF PARADISE?
WELL, I GOTTA TELL YA,
IT'S NICE TO BE
SOMEWHERE WITHOUT... BARS.
YOU WERE IN JAIL?
DID THEY GIVE YOU
A FULL BODY CAVITY SEARCH?
FORGIVE MY FRIENDS. THEY GE REALLY SHY AROUND STRANGERS.
MY FAULT.
I TALK TOO MUCH.
- THAT'S HOT.
- WELL,
THERE'S A PARTY TONIGH AT MY HOUSE...
IF YOU CAN COME.
- [ Paper Crumples ]
- I DON'T MAKE PLANS.
NOT MY STYLE.
[ Phil Collins ]
AND I CAN FEEL IT COMING
IN THE AIR TONIGH OH, LORD
BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS MOMEN FOR ALL MY LIFE
OH, LORD
[ Band ] I, I, I'M JUS A LOVE MACHINE
AND I WON'T WORK FOR NOBODY
BUT YOU, OOH, YEAH
- I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE
- YEAH, BABY
A HUGGIN', KISSING THING
- [ Guitar Chord ]
- WHOO!
WE LOVE YOU, ROCKY CREEK!
WE'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!
WE LOVE TEXAS,
AND WE LOVE YOU TOO!
SO I'M GUESSING
THAT IT WENT WELL.
FOR THE FIRST 18 YEARS,
THINGS WERE ONE WAY,
AND IN TEN MINUTES
IT COMPLETELY CHANGED.
THEY BOUGHT IT.
THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
YOU KNOW YOU JUST MADE I TO THE 50th LEVEL OF KUNARK.
BETTER.
I GOT INVITED TO A PARTY.
ME. DIZZY GILLESPIE HARRISON.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I DO
THE BOOGALOO.
WATCH ME, HA
WHOA, SLOW DOWN,
FUNKY WHITE BOY.
DID THEY INVITE YOU
OR GIL HARRIS?
WHATEVER.
THE POINT IS, TODAY...
NOBODY STUFFED ME IN MY LOCKER
OR SINGED OFF MY ASS HAIR.
- PLEASE--
- NO OFFENSE.
HEY,
ARE YOU SAYING THESE CHICKS
PARTY ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?
COURTNEY DOES.
THAT IS, WITHOUT DOUBT,
THE SLUTTIEST GIRL
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I KNOW.
ISN'T IT GREAT?
YOU HAVE TO DO HER, AND WHILE
YOU'RE WITH HER, THINK OF ME.
OKAY, THATSOUNDED GAY.
THAT'S THE THING.
COURTNEY'S EXPECTING...
"GIL" AT THE PARTY TONIGHT.
SHE'S RIGHT.
HOW WOULD GIL HARRIS PARTY?
I THINK THE QUESTION IS,
HOW WOULD GIL GET JIGGY
WITH THIS COURTNEY CHICK...
AND MAKE HER SAY
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY"...
[ Laughs ]
WHILE RESPECTING HER
AS A WOMAN.
DIZ, YOU READY
FOR THIS?
LOOK, MY DAD LOVES THIS BIKE
MORE THAN HE LOVES ME.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
NO, IT IS. HE WROTE I IN MY BIRTHDAY CARD.
[ Sighs ]
SO, PLEASE, BE VERY CAREFUL.
THIS IS A VINTAGE,
FLAT TRACK RACING BIKE.
- IT'S VERY POWERFUL.
- [ Pats Cycle ]
YOU HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
STAND BACK.
I'LL START IT FOR YOU.
[ Engine Starts, Revs ]
[ Screeching ]
NOW, REMEMBER, I WON'T ALWAYS
BE AROUND TO DO THAT FOR YOU.
NOW I DON'T SEE
THINGS THE WAY I DID BEFORE
CAN'T STAND FEELING THIS WAY
COURTNEY GOT TONY HAWK
TO COME TO HER PARTY?
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO
FEEL SO DIFFERENT DAY TO DAY
THERE'S NOTHING
COOLER THAN THAT.
WHEN NOTHING'S CHANGED
EXCEPT FOR, OH
- WHOA!
- [ Horn Sounding ]
THINGS HAVE CHANGED
I DON'T FEEL THE SAME
DUDE'S CRAZY.
[ Urinating ]
HEY, MAN!
THESE ARE DOCKERS.
I MADE IT.
[ Yells ]
BUSH!
HEY!
COURTNEY, DID YOU SEE
THAT INDY 360?
TONY, PLEASE.
RANI, DID YOU SEE THAT INDY 3?
I COULD DO IT AGAIN.
[ Wheels Squeaking ]
HAVE ANY TROUBLE
FINDING THE HOUSE?
UM--
WELL, AREN'T YOU
THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE.
[ Laughs ]
WELL, I--
WANNA COME UPSTAIRS
WITH ME?
UM, I--
WANNA MAKE OU WITH ME?
UH, HEH.
UH, WELL, I--
WANNA TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF
WITH YOUR TEETH?
OKAY, YOU TALKED ME
INTO IT.
AREN'T YOU COMING?
ALMOST.
COURTNEY IS SUCH A SLUT.
WHICH DIDN'T STOP YOU
DATING HER TWO MONTHS.
IT WAS FOUR.
[ Cat Screeches ]
- [ Hip-hop, Indistinct ]
- [ Chattering ]
HEY, NEW GUY.
YOU WANNA DANCE,
NEW GUY?
HEH, HEH, HEH.
KNOW WHY
I LIKE IT OUT HERE?
THE VIEW?
NOPE. IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S
ALL THESE PEOPLE AROUND.
DOESN'T THAT TURN YOU ON,
KNOWING WE COULD BE CAUGH AT ANY MOMENT?
[ Laughs ]
YEAH, WELL, THAT, UM,
DOES MAKE THINGS
INTERESTING.
MMM.
WANNA MAKE OUT?
OKAY.
OH, I FORGOT SOMETHING.
[ Rustling ]
[ Hitting Glass,
Cat Screeches ]
READY FOR DESSERT?
GIL?
HELLO?
[ Hip-hop ]
[ Whimpering ]
COURTNEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I CAN'T... BELIEVE IT--
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
GIL... BLEW ME OFF.
[ Laughs ]
IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.
CARMEN, PUT IT AWAY.
HONEY, I KNEW THA BOY WAS TROUBLE.
SHIT.
HEY, HEY, GIRLS. I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN'.
"HE'S TOO GOOD-LOOKING
FOR ME," RIGHT? RIGHT?
HOLA? HABLA INGLES? HELLO--
- [ Metal Creaking ]
- [ Yells ]
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
I'M EXERCISING.
YOU GOT A PROBLEM?
NO. NO, NO.
IT'S COOL. IT'S COOL.
HEY, WHAT DOES THAT HIT?
YOUR, UH, LAT'S?
DELT'S? TRI'S? BI'S?
BACK CURLS.
GREAT FOR THE CALVES.
AB'S, COOL. SO YOU REALLY
BLOW OFF COURTNEY?
YOU CAN TELL US.
[ Both ]
YOU BLOW HER OFF?
I DIDN'T EXACTLY
BLOW HER OFF.
OH, WAIT. STOP, STOP, STOP.
STOP RIGHT THERE.
ANY DUDE WHO DISSES
COURTNEY MUST DATE...
THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS WOMEN
ON EARTH.
WHOA, WHOA!
HEY, WHAT CAN I SAY?
WHAT CAN I SAY?
YOU ARE THE MAN.
YOU ARE THE MAN!
[ Laughs ]
DID HE SAY
YOU'RE A FRAUD?
I DON'T THINK YOU'VE BEEN
WITH ANYONE.
[ Murmuring ]
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
SHE'S NOT JUST "ANYONE."
DUDE, THIS BABE'S
GOT IT ALL.
YES, SHE DOES.
I BET SHE KNOWS HOW TO
MAKE A GUY HAPPY, HUH?
HEY, I'D LOVE TO STAY
AND CHAT, BUT, UM,
JOSEFINA'S
WAITING FOR ME.
YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE.
DON'T MAKE ME DO
CRAZY EYES.
- [ Whip Snaps ]
- [ Gasping ]
JOSEFINA. EXOTIC.
ME GUSTA JOSEFINA.
GUYS, DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?
YEAH, IF WE WANNA GET CHICKS,
WE GOTTA WORK ON OUR AB'S.
LET'S GO. COME ON.
COME ON. UP. READY?
ONE, TWO--
[ Groans ]
I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
CHECK ME OUT, BABY. BAT WINGS!
HEY, CHUMP CHANGE,
GET DOWN.
BACKBONES, BABY! WHOO!
[ Engine Clicking ]
WATCH. THAT BIKE
WON'T EVEN START.
HE TRASHED I WHEN HE LANDED.
- [ Clicking Continues ]
- PLEASE START. PLEASE START.
[ Engine Starts,
Tires Screech ]
[ Engine Switches Off ]
IT'S A FULL-TIME JOB
TRYIN' TO SAVE HIS BUTT.
I ALMOST GOT LAID!
- WHOO, HOO!
- DID HE SAY "BRAKE"?
[ Screeching ]
WHOA!
I ALMOST GOT LAID!
HOO, HOO!
[ Laughing ]
SHE'S A BAD
MAMA JAMMA
JUST AS FINE
AS SHE CAN BE
HEY, SHE'S
A BAD MAMA JAMMA
JUST AS FINE
AS SHE CAN BE
HOO, HOO
HEY, WAITING UP
FOR ME, DAD?
YES, WE ARE.
"WE"?
HI. HEY.
UH, DAD, WHAT IS MISS PIERCE
DOING HERE?
KIKI'S HERE TO HELP US.
HELP US WITH WHAT?
AN INTERVENTION.
WE'RE SURROUNDIN' YOU
WITH LOVE.
NOW SIT.
OKAY, DRAMATIC CHANGE
IN APPEARANCE,
LACK OF COMMUNICATION,
ALTERED PATTERNS
OF BEHAVIOR--
WHAT ARE YA ON?
- [ Squeaks ]
- IS IT CRYSTAL METH?
IS IT THE CRANK?
ARE YA RIDIN'
THE WHITE PONY, SON?
[ Mouthing Words ]
UM,
NO, I'M NOT ON DRUGS, DAD,
I-I'M--I'M HAPPY.
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN I-I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN,
I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY.
[ Squeaks ]
IT OCCURS TO ME
TO TELL YOU...
THAT "DE-NIAL" IS NO JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT!
LOOK, SON,
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED
ABOUT ALARMS
GOIN' OFF AT WORK,
I MISSED THE ALARMS GOIN' OFF
RIGHT HERE AT HOME.
BUT I'M GONNA
MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
COME MONDAY,
I'M QUITTIN' MY JOB...
SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER 24-7.
BUT, DAD, HOW WILL YOU
PAY THE MORTGAGE?
I'LL SELL THE HOUSE.
DAD, DO NOT--
I REPEAT,
DO NOT DO THAT.
LOOK, SON, THERE'S NO POSSIBLE
WAY FOR YOU TO
UNDERSTAND THIS,
BUT WHEN THINGS
GET TRULY BAD,
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO
MAKE A DRASTIC CHANGE--
COMPLETELY REVAMP
EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE--
[ Mouthing Words ]
JUST TO GE WHAT YOU WANT.
BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT.
I'M NOT SICK.
I'M REVAMPED.
I'M REVAMPED. I'M REVAMPED.
IT'S VERY SWEET.
UNDERNEATH THE TOURETTE'S
AND THE CRANK,
HE STILL WANTS TO BE
LIKE HIS DADDY.
I AM SO ONTO YOU.
[ Muffled ]
YOU ARE?
YOU PRETEND TO NOT WANT TO
BE A PART OF THIS SCHOOL,
BUT YOU TOTALLY GET OFF
ON BEING A BAD-ASS.
[ Coughs ]
OH. YOU CAUGHT ME.
YEAH, AND THAT'S WHY
I WANT TO USE YOU.
OKAY, BUT, UM,
ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.
COME TO THE FOOTBALL GAME.
OUR TEAM SUCKS,
NOBODY SHOWS.
IT'S MORE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE
TO SIT ON A CAR AND DRINK...
AND PUKE THAN IT IS
TO WATCH A GAME.
IT'S HARD WORK
PRETENDING NOT TO CARE.
YEAH, BUT IF YOU SHOWED UP
MAYBE SOME OF THESE
OTHER FOOLS WOULD TOO.
I'M IN.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
YOU-YAM-WHAT?
MY GRANDMOTHER'S ALBANIAN.
IT MEANS "I OWE YOU ONE."
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
JUST ASKING THE NEW GUY
A FAVOR.
AND WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY
NEED FROM HIM?
OH, JUST THINGS
I'M NOT GETTING ELSEWHERE.
[ Marching Band,
Dissonant ]
[ Cheerleaders ]
GO, FIGHT, WIN!
GO, GO!
FIGHT, FIGHT!
WIN, WIN!
GO, FIGHT, WIN!
[ Counting Off
Unenthusiastically ]
[ Danielle ]
HERE WE GO, GUYS! COME ON!
COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND!
OKAY, READY?
[ Chanting ]
HOW FUNKY IS YOUR CHICKEN
HOW LOOSE IS YOUR GOOSE
SO COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND
SO DANIELLE FINALLY
DRAGGED YOU OU TO ONE OF THESE
FOOTBALL GAMES.
I'M NOT AT THE GAME.
I'M WITH YOU GUYS.
PLUS, I JUST LIKE
TO WATCH HER JUMP AROUND.
COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND
YEAH, RIGHT.
[ Imitates
Whip Cracking ]
[ Continues Imitating Whip ]
RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!
WILL YOU SHUT UP!
MAN,
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
EAST HIGHLAND
BEND AND SHAKE YOUR CABOOSE
- WHOO! GO, EAST HIGHLAND!
- COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND!
- COME ON!
- COME ON, PEOPLE.
- GUYS?
- HELLO?
[ Players ] ONE!
[ Coach ] ONE, TWO, THREE!
- TWO!
- ONE, TWO, THREE!
[ Grunts ]
GUYS, THIS IS BULLSHIT.
WE HAVEN'T WON
A GAME IN FIVE YEARS.
WE MIGHT AS WELL FORFEIT.
WE'RE DEAD ANYWAY.
TEN-HUT!
HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND.
DEAD?
DID YOU SAY DEAD?
ALL THIS HOO-HA
ABOUT BEING DEAD
AND NOT WANTING TO FIGHT...
AND STAYING OU OF THE GAME...
IS A LOAD OF CRAP!
DID WE GIVE UP
WHEN PEARL HARBOR WAS BOMBED?
I THOUGHT THAT MOVIE
MADE MONEY.
WE DIDN'T GIVE UP THEN,
AND WE'RE NO GONNA GIVE UP NOW!
AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
TRADITIONALLY LOVE TO FIGHT.
ALL REAL FOOTBALL PLAYERS
LOVE THE STING OF BATTLE!
THE ONLY THING
WE HAVE TO FEAR IS--
- [ Mutters ] I DON'T KNOW.
- FEAR ITSELF.
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU PEOPLE?
WHERE'S THE HUNGER?
WHERE IS
THE SCHOOL SPIRIT?
WASHINGTON HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
LINCOLN HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
HARDIN HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
YES!
LET'S DO IT!
LET'S... DO IT!
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Whinnies ]
GO!
THAT'S MY GODDAMN HORSE.
HIT 'EM HIGH!
HIT 'EM LOW!
[ All ] HIKE!
- [ Singing ] YO
- HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM, G
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- WHAT YOU GON' DO
- HIT 'EM HIGH
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM LOW
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- YES!
- TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN!
YES! HOW ABOUT THAT,
HIGHLANDER FANS?
THAT'S OUR FIRST VICTORY SINCE
THE LAST BUSH WAS PRESIDENT!
- [ Bell Tolling ]
- WE WON A GAME!
WE WON A GAME!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
WE ACTUALLY WON A GAME!
WHOO!
[ Dizzy ] GO, HIGHLAND!
DANIELLE,
WHAT THE HELL'S GOIN' ON?
YOU'RE INSANE.
BUT THANK YOU.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
HOW'D YOU LEARN
HOW TO SAY YOU'RE WELCOME?
FROM THE ONLY OTHER PERSON
IN THE ALBANIAN CHAT ROOM.
OH, WHAT, YOU'RE IMPRESSED
'CAUSE THIS GUY
SHOWED UP ON A HORSE?
NO, I'M IMPRESSED
BECAUSE HE SHOWED UP FOR ME.
LET'S GO.
SHE JUST DISSED YOU
AGAIN.
DUDE, DO YOU EVER
SHUT UP?
MOST GUYS WOULDN'T BE
CAUGHT DEAD SHOPPING.
WELL,
I'M NOT MOST GUYS.
YOU DID SAY SWIMSUITS,
RIGHT?
[ Singing ] YEAH
- UH-HUH
- TELL ME THA YOU WANT IT LISTEN
TELL ME
CAN YOU HANDLE I SHOW ME
HOW YOU WORK THEM HIPS
- AND MAYBE
YOU CAN GO GET I - UH-HUH
- UH-HUH
- I KNOW THAT YOU WANT I TELL ME CAN YOU HANDLE I - SHOW ME HOW
YOU'RE WORKIN' I - HOW YOU'RE WORKIN' I AND MAYBE
YOU CAN GO GET I GIRL, YOU MESSED UP
WHEN YOU LET ME IN
TOLD YOUR BEST FRIEND
THAT YOU WANTED ME
THEN SHE CALLED ME UP
AND HIPPED ME TO YOUR STEEZ
TOLD ME YOU WERE LOOKIN'
FOR A GUY LIKE ME
SO I SAID HOLD ON,
I AIN'T THE ONE
UNLESS SHORTY
REALLY WANNA HAVE SOME FUN
THEN SHE SAID
THAT YOU TOLD HER
I WAS WHAT YOU WAN - WHEN I CALL
YOU DON'T TRY TO FRON - COME ON
I'M THE GUY IN YOUR DREAM
THAT YOU HAD LAST NIGH I'M THE BENZ
WITH THE TWENTIES
THAT YOU WANNA DRIVE
I'M THA THUG IN YOUR LIFE
THAT'LL TREAT YOU RIGHT
GOT YA HOOKED 'COZ I'M
BRINGING EVERYTHING YOU LIKE
UH-HUH
I KNOW THAT YOU
WANT IT LISTEN
TELL ME
CAN YOU HANDLE I SHOW ME HOW
YOU WORK THEM HIPS
- AND MAYBE
WE CAN ROLL WIT I - UH-HUH
- I KNOW THA YOU WANT IT LISTEN
- UH-HUH
- TELL ME CAN YOU HANDLE I - UH-HUH
SHOW ME
HOW YOU'RE WORKIN' IT
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I BEEN IN PRISON A LONG TIME.
NOW, THIS
IS REAL MUSIC.
SO, YOU'RE SAYING
IF I LISTEN TO ALL THIS,
I'LL GET YOU?
THAT'S WHA I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT,
DANIELLE.
I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN.
OH.
HEY, EMILY.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
UH, GREAT.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
GREAT.
UH, HEY, DO YOU HAVE
THE NEW CREED CD?
YEAH.
I-I'LL CHECK FOR YOU.
[ Sighs ]
- WHO WAS THAT?
- EMILY.
WE USED TO BE FRIENDS
WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER.
OH?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.
I STARTED DATING CONNER.
YOU KNOW HOW THINGS GO.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE
WHO WOULD DROP YOUR FRIENDS.
[ Clerk ]
ALL RIGHT, TIME TO GO.
- I'M SHOPPING HERE!
- YOU'RE NOT SHOPPING.
YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING
TO THIS SAME
SONG FOR SIX HOURS.
YOU'RE SQUATTING!
LISTEN, BRO,
I'VE HAD A BAD DAY.
SO SQUAT ON THIS,
PUKE FACE!
THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE TOSSED.
SETH, YOU'RE NO A BOUNCER ANYMORE.
YOU'VE MOVED UP.
COME ON, MAN.
WHO CAN TOSS HER
BETTER THAN ME?
RELAX.
COME ON, MAN!
I'M SICK OF THIS!
- DIZ! YOU MADE IT!
-[ Glen ] PERFECT TIMING!
MAN, I WAS STARTING TO THINK
YOU NEVER CHECK
THE E.Q.
MESSAGE BOARDS ANYMORE.
GIL, DO YOU KNOW
THESE PEOPLE?
UH, NO.
LET'S GO.
[ P.A. System: Feedback ]
IF ANYONE'S LOS A PAIR OF BALLS,
WE HAVE FOUND THEM.
WAIT, THERE'S A NAME HERE.
DIZZY HARRISON, PLEASE PICK
YOUR BALLS UP. AND SCROTUM.
THAT'S BALLS AND SCROTUM
AT COUNTER FIVE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE ALL THESE.
THAT'S MYMICROPHONE!
- OH, NO!
- WAIT! NO!
AAAH!
[ Blow Lands ]
HARRIS,
GET YOUR PUNK ASS IN HERE!
[ Sobbing ]
COLONEL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU STOLE MY HORSE,
MAGGOT!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THE PENALTY
IS IN THIS STATE
FOR STEALING
ANOTHER MAN'S HORSE?
DEATH?
THIS ISN'T IRAQ, SON.
BUT I CAN TELL YOU
THERE'S PROBABLY A HEFTY FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
IT'S A BILL FOR
MANURE CLEANUP,
RESODDING THE FOOTBALL FIELD,
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF,
SOMEBODY URINATED ALL OVER
MRS. CAMPANELLA'S ROSE GARDEN.
UH, THAT WAS ME, SIR.
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW
SOMETHING ELSE?
[ Heartbeat pounding]
IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!
COME HERE!
COME HERE!
THAT WAS OUR FIRST VICTORY
IN FIVE YEARS,
AND IT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF YOU!
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN
MY OWN GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN' SON.
SIT DOWN.
TAKE A LOAD OFF.
WE GOT A PROBLEM.
WE GOT A HOMECOMING DANCE
COMING UP.
IT HAS BEEN THE MOST...
...GOD-AWFUL EXPERIENCE
FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.
RIGHT, COACH?
I MEAN, AAH-H-H-H!
YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS
HOW WE MIGHT TURN
THIS THING AROUND?
- GOOD MUSIC?
- MUSIC!
HEY, THAT IS
A FANTASTIC IDEA, SON.
YOU SEE THAT?
HEY!
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC?
THE ONLY MUSIC
WORTH BEING CALLED MUSIC.
I'M TALKIN' 'BOU THE FUNK.
[ Singing ] OHH, YEAH
WHO
MR. BIG STUFF
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
- MR. BIG STUFF
- [ Sighs ]
YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA GET MY LOVE
HELLO? SINGING?
WHO ARE WE KIDDING?
WE CAN'T PLAY FUNK
- WITHOUT A BASS LINE. HEY.
- OR BLACK GUYS.
WE'LL FIND SOMEONE.
WE DON'T NEED DIZ.
OH, YOU DON'T?
SO SOMEBODY ELSE
IS GETTING YOU PAYING GIGS.
WE'RE HEADLINING AT HOMECOMING
TWO WEEKS FROM TONIGHT.
- IS SOMEONE TALKING TO US?
- I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
IT WAS DIZ.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
LOOK, I WAS AN ASSHOLE
AT THE MALL.
A WORLD-CLASS ASSHOLE.
THEY'RE SCOUTING ME
FOR ASSHOLE OLYMPICS.
I'M CARRYING THE TORCH.
[ Chuckling ]
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
I'M SORRY.
I GOT NO GOOD EXCUSE
FOR WHAT I DID.
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING THE BIG BULL.
YOU'RE
THE BIG BULLSHIT.
GIL'S THE BIG BULL.
- YEAH, BUT THAT'S ME.
- IS IT?
SO WHAT MAKES YOU ANY
DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER
HIGH SCHOOL THUG
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME?
I KNOW IT'S BEEN
A LONG ROAD
TO GET THESE TOWNS
BEHIND ME
AND I
WILL GLADLY REAP
WHAT WE MAY SOW
I AM THERE FOR YOU
AND YOU'RE THERE FOR ME
I STOPPED BELIEVING
A LONG TIME AGO
- QUIT IT.
- IT WASN'T ME.
- THEN WHO WAS IT?
- HIM.
HI, GUYS.
ED LIGGETT. TUBA.
THE MARCHING BAND'S
COLLECTING BOTTLES AND CANS
FOR THE HOMELESS,
IRONICALLY, TAKING AWAY THE
ONLY JOB THE HOMELESS HAVE.
ANY DONATION WOULD BE
GREATLY APPRECIATED.
HEY, BUDDY, YOU KNOW
WHAT THE HOMELESS NEED?
A MIDGET.
WHY WOULD THE HOMELESS
NEED A MIDGET?
SHUT UP.
HEY! QUIT IT!
[ Shrieks ]
[ All Laughing ]
[ Shrieking Continues ]
- WHAT A THROW.
- [ Shrieking Continues ]
LITTLE ED,
ARE YOU OKAY?
Y-YEAH.
I'M FROM A RODEO FAMILY.
YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME.
COME ON.
INTO THIS MORNING LIGH [ Continues ]
WHAT'S GIL DOING?
HE'S TAKING HIM UP THE TOWER.
ED LIGGETT'S GONNA GE HIS LITTLE ASS KICKED.
ANOTHER DAY
ARE YOU WAITING FOR
HEART IN HAND
WHO IS THA LITTLE DUDE?
SEE ME WHERE I STAND
HEY, CONNER,
WHAT DID ED EVER DO TO YOU?
HEART IN HAND
HEART IN HAND
- IT'S ALL FOR A WOMAN
- [ All Gasp ]
ALL RIGHT, FREAK.
[ Spits ]
WE DON'T CALL PEOPLE
THAT HERE.
[ Continues ]
DANIELLE.
[ Ed ] SHE'S GOING DOWN THERE
WITH THE GEEKS.
- EMILY.
- DANIELLE.
LOOK, EMILY--
I KNOW.
[ Giggles ]
[ Applause, Cheering ]
YOU BACKED HIM
INSTEAD OF ME.
CAUGHT THAT, DID YOU?
THIS IS BULLSHIT, DANIELLE.
MY GIRLFRIEND'S SUPPOSED
TO BACK MEUP.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
SHOULD BACK YOU UP.
- FIND ONE.
- [ Students Gasp ]
I DON'T NEED YOU.
I COULD HAVE ANYONE.
LOOK, MAN,
I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY
ME AND THE GUYS
PISSED IN YOUR TUBA.
- YOU DID?
- YEAH.
I THOUGH IT TASTED FUNNY.
LOVE TO SEE YOU WHIP I SURE COULD TREAT YOU RIGH GIVE ME JUST A MINUTE
OF YOUR TIME TONIGH WE'RE BOTH HERE
TO HAVE SOME FUN
[ Continues ]
WELL, THAT'S ANOTHER WIN
FOR THE HIGHLANDERS.
MARK'S GONNA
HELP YOU PASS TRIG.
HEY.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME,
DO YOU?
"STOP, PLEASE.
YOUR ASS IS CRUSHING MY HEAD"?
- OH! WAS THAT YOU?
- ME.
[ Grunts ]
[ Announcer ]
HIGHLAND WINS AGAIN!
WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT RIGH WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT ALL NIGHT
WHAT'S YOUR TRIP, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
[ Continues ]
HEY, COURTNEY,
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO A FEW OLD BUDDIES OF MINE.
HI, I'M... HAWK.
AND I'M...
APACHE.
- YEAH, HAWK, APACHE AND I--
- SPENT TIME IN
PRISON TOGETHER.
MOSTLY
IN THE SHOWER.
[ Continues ]
[ Announcer ] CAN'T YOU JUS SMELL THE PLAY-OFFS?
BEFORE I MET GIL...
I PROBABLY WOULD'VE JUS LOOKED AT YOU WITH DISGUS AND WALKED AWAY.
WIGGLING MY ASS JUST SO
YOU'D KNOW WHA YOU WERE MISSING.
YEAH, WELL,
THE UNIVERSE IS UPSIDE-DOWN.
AND IN A FEW MINUTES
YOU WILL BE TOO.
OOOH-OOH-OOH, LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY
- WHIP IT RIGH - LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT ALL NIGH LET IT WHIP
GO ON, WHIP, GO ON, WHIP
LET'S WHIP IT, BABY CHILD,
LET'S WHIP IT RIGHT [ Grunts ]
LET'S WHIP IT, BABY
LET'S WHIP IT ALL NIGH WELL, WHAT'S YOUR TRIP.
NO, NO, CH--
HEY, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND
THIS SONG, A'RIGHT?
AAAAH!
COME ON, WHIP
COME ON, WHIP
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- YEAH!
- WHIP IT RIGH - AAAH!
- WHIP IT BABY,
WHIP IT ALL NIGH - WHOO!
[ Roars ]
THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE
YOU'RE THE ONE I CHOOSE
YOU'RE THE RIGHT ONE
TO CHOOSE, WHOO-HOO
GUYS! HEY, BABY!
LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY, WHIP IT RIGH - TOUCHDOWN!
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT ALL NIGH - SUCH A TRIP
- NO, NO, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
- COME ON,
WHIP, COME ON, WHIP
- GO, DANNY!
- DANCE, DANNY, DANCE!
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT RIGHT
- LET IT WHIP
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT ALL NIGH - SUCH A TRIP
- NO, NO, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
[ Announcer ] UNBELIEVABLE!
WE'RE GOING TO
THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!
[ Gunshot ]
[ Announcer ] THE HIGHLANDERS
ARE ON FIRE!
WHOA.
A LITTLE SPILL.
REMEMBER--
TURN, DON'T BURN.
SON, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WHEN YOU GO
OFF TO COLLEGE,
ME AND THIS HOUSE
ROLL WITH YOU.
DAD, DO NOT--
I REPEAT,
DO NOT DO THAT.
[ Shrieking ]
JUST ROLL AROUND, DAD.
- YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
- [ Shrieking Continues ]
- WE'RE CLOSED.
- HEY, IT'S OKAY.
HE'S WITH ME.
ANDALE.
WELL, I SPENT A LIFETIME
LOOKIN' FOR YOU
[ Continues ]
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
IT'S THE BEST PAR ABOUT WORKING AT THIS PLACE.
I GET TO RIDE THE BULL
FOR FREE.
AND I GET A LOT OF GOOD TIPS
FOR WEARING
A BANDANNA AS A SHIRT.
WATCH IT, HOODLUM.
THAT'S ESTELLE.
- SHE MUST LIKE YOU.
- HI, ESTELLE.
- OHH!
- HI.
DON'T MIND ESTELLE.
SHE'S LIKE MY BIG SISTER.
SHE WORRIES.
WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY
BE WORRIED ABOUT?
THAT I'LL END UP LIKE MY MOM.
WORKING THE DAY SHIFT HERE
AND RAISING
THREE KIDS BY MYSELF.
I DIDN'T KNOW
ALL THAT.
WELL, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK
OF ALL THE WHITE TRASH CLICHES
WELL,
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
YOU'RE NOT? THAT'S A RELIEF.
- YOU WANT A PAD?
- FOR WHAT?
- [ Groaning ]
- ESTELLE!
[ Grunting ]
LOOK... DANIELLE...
IF I CAN DO WHAT I'VE DONE,
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
- I WISH I HAD
THE CONFIDENCE YOU HAVE.
- DON'T EVER WISH THAT.
WHY? YOU KNOW
EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
[ Continues Grunting
] BUT YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO I AM, DANIELLE.
BEFORE I CAME
TO EAST HIGHLAND--
HEY!
[ Groans ]
YOU GET GOOD DISTANCE
WITH THE SKINNY ONES.
GIL, ARE YOU OKAY?
THAT'S JUST IT.
I'M NOT--
HERMANO!
- THEY KILLED PACO!
- PACO?
PACO!
AH, PACO.
- UM, AMIGO GRANDE.
- SI!
LAS ARANAS NEGRAS.
BLACK SPIDERS.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
HEY.
DANIELLE,
SEE THIS TATTOO?
I DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT.
THERE'S SOME THINGS ABOUT ME
THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU,
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
GIL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
ANYTHING YOU DID IN YOUR PAST,
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT NOW.
BUT I'M REALLY DIZZY.
[ Chuckles ]
SO AM I.
- [ Whip Cracks ]
- SHE'S GOING
TO COLLEGE, PUNK.
HEY, LADY,
NOBODY'S STOPPING HER.
THAT'S A BUZZKILL.
GOOD NIGHT, ESTELLE.
SO, YOU READY
FOR STATE FINALS TOMORROW?
HEY, ALL I DO IS RIDE A HORSE.
YEAH, WELL, I'M WORRIED.
THOSE DRILLERS CAN BE BRUTAL.
THE DRILLERS?
YEAH. ROCKY CREEK HIGH.
YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?
I DO.
UM, LOOK, DANIELLE, UH--
I CAN'T GO TO THAT GAME.
I HATE THAT SCHOOL.
HOW CAN YOU NOT COME?
IT'S COMPLICATED.
I HATE THAT SCHOOL TOO,
BUT IF YOU DON' SHOW UP NOBODY WILL.
PLEASE DON'T BAIL NOW.
[ Announcer ] LET'S WELCOME
OUR UNDEFEATED...
- STATE CHAMPIONS,
- YEAH! DRILLERS!
- THE ROCKY CREEK DRILLERS,
- [ Crowd Cheering ]
AND THEIR OPPONENTS,
FROM EAST HIGHLAND HIGH,
[ Haltingly ]
THE HIGHLANDERS.
[ Cheering Stops ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THOSE KILT-WEARIN' WUSSIES
AREN'T GONNA SHOW UP.
[ Bagpipes, Faint ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
HOLD!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, I'M AN OUTSIDER
OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
I'M AN OUTSIDER
OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
- [ Continues ]
- [ Whinnies ]
[ Bagpipes Squeaking ]
EVERYTHING YOU KNOW
EVERYTHING YOU KNO-O-OW
- [ Continues ]
- COME ON!
GO! GO! HURRY! GO! GO!
I'M AN OUTSIDER
- OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
- [ Whistle Blows ]
[ Marching Band ]
[ Announcer ] MY, OH, MY!
WHAT A MIRACULOUS,
MOMENTOUS OCCASION...
IN HIGHLANDER HISTORY,
SPORTS FANS!
WITH JUST EIGHT TICKS
LEFT ON THE CLOCK,
THE SCORE IS TIED 24-ALL.
THE DRILLERS HAVE THE BALL
ON THE 50-YARD LINE
AND THERE'S ONLY TIME
FOR ONE LAST PLAY.
IF THE HIGHLANDERS
CAN STOP THE DRILLERS,
WE'RE LOOKING AT OVERTIME!
WHO'S THAT LITTLE DUDE?
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ Twins Shouting ]
LET'S GO, HIGHLAND!
[ Twins Shouting ]
LET'S GO, HIGHLAND!
THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAY
FOR TEXAS 5-A FOOTBALL...
SINCE BACK IN '93
WHEN JOHNSON KILLED KENNEDY!
[ Marching Band Continues ]
[ Chanting ]
R.C.! R.C.!
COME ON, HIGHLAND!
- YEAH!
- YEAH!
- YEAH! YEAH!
- HIGHLAND!
[ Both ]
HIGHLAND! YEAH!
DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
THEIR TEAM ISN'T KILLING US,
THEIR FANS ARE!
- WHOO!
- WHOO!
GET YOUR HEADS IN THE GAME
AND LET'S CONCENTRATE!
YO, MAN,
WE GOTTA SPLIT LEFT.
QUICK TOSS 29 ON ONE. ON ONE.
DUNCAN GETS THE BALL.
NO WAY, ASSHOLE.
NOT DUNCAN.
MY TEAM, MY GAME,
MY CHAMPIONSHIP, MY BALL!
JUST DO YOUR JOB.
I'LL DO THE REST.
WATCH THE BACK!
WATCH THE BACK!
RED 71 DOWN!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
YEAH!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
WHOO! ROCKY!
AAH!
GO ON,
GET OUTTA HERE, ROCKY CREEK!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
[ Crowd Joins In Chanting ]
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE!
[ Horse Whinnying ]
[ Crowd Chanting ]
DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
- [ Announcer ] FUMBLE!
- [ Crowd Gasping, Shouting ]
WHOO!
WHOA!
[ Announcer ]
HIGHLAND WINS!
- [ Horse Whinnying ]
- GO, HIGHLAND! GO, HIGHLAND!
THIS IS FOR YOU, SON.
THANK YOU.
GO, HIGHLAND!
WHOO!
NO-O-O-O-O!
IS THAT--
[ Cheering Continues ]
8: 00 WEDNESDAY NIGH AND I'M WAITIN'
TO FINALLY TALK TO A GIRL
A LITTLE COOLER THAN ME
HER NAME IS NOVA
SHE'S A ROCKER
WITH A NOSE RING
SHE WEARS A TWO-WAY
BUT I'M NOT QUITE SURE
WHAT THAT MEANS
- HELLO-- WHOA!
- AND WHEN SHE WALKS
OH, THE WIND BLOWS
- AND THE ANGELS SING
- HI!
SHE DOESN'T NOTICE ME--
-[ Off ]
-HEY!
HEY, DIZZY DIPSHIT!
- [ All Murmuring ]
- WHERE ARE YOU?
YO, DIPSHIT!
HOW YOU DOIN', BUDDY?
- HOW'S IT GOIN', BARCLAY?
- WHO IS THIS GUY, GIL?
JUST AN OLD FRIEND.
ANY FRIEND OF GIL'S
IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
-I'M TRAVIS.
-LONNIE.
PETE.
ED LIGGETT, TUBA.
HOW YOU DOIN', MAN?
[ Shrieks ]
BETTER NOW.
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
- SO I TOSSED A FREAK.
EXCUSE ME, BUT WE DISCOURAGE
NAME-CALLING AROUND HERE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU STOLE MY
STATE CHAMPIONSHIP,
ASSHOLE!
AGAIN, LET ME REMIND YOU,
IF YOU MUST TALK LIKE THA I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
OH, I'M LEAVING...
AS SOON AS I TELL YOU
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR LEADER.
WE KNOW HE WAS IN PRISON
. WE FORGIVE HIM.
PRISON? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY BOY,
THAT DOESN'T FLY AROU--
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
BACK IT UP.
THIS IS MY FIGHT.
OH, BABY, COME ON.
MAKE MY DAY.
- GET HIM!
- [ All Yelling ]
- [ Barclay Screaming ]
- [ Fabric Tearing ]
I'M GONNA GO WILD
ON YOUR ASS!
- TAKE THIS! AND THIS!
- [ Barclay Screams ]
[ Fabric Tearing ]
SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN 'CAUSE SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN 'CAUSE SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS
[ Groans ]
I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.
[ Rock ]
DIZ, SOMEBODY SPREAD THE WORD
ABOUT OUR BAND.
HELLO.
I THINK THAT WAS US.
BUT HALF OF ROCKY
CREEK IS OUT THERE.
WHAT? HOW DID THEY HEAR?
- HEY, GUYS. CHECK THIS OUT.
- "CREED"?
WHAT IDIO WOULD FALL FOR THIS?
THERE'S A CAFETERIA MENU
ON THE OTHER SIDE.
HEY, ANYBODY KNOW
WHERE THE V.I.P. ROOM IS?
EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
HELLO.
THANK YOU.
[ Microphone Feedback ]
- WHO DID THAT? QUIET.
- HEY, FAT ASS!
UH, HI.
UH, WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
I'D LIVE TO SEE US WIN
THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP.
[ Cheering ]
QUIET!
UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
SUBURBAN FUNK.
WE CAN DO THIS.
HEY, DO IT NOW
YEAH, HEY
ONCE I WAS
A BOOGIE SINGER
PLAYIN' IN
A ROCK AND ROLL BAND
[ Nora ] I NEVER HAD
NO PROBLEMS, NO
BURNIN' DOWN
THE ONE-NIGHT STAND
AND I DECIDED QUICKLY
YES, I DID
TO DISCO DOWN
AND CHECK OUT THE SHOW
AND THEY WERE DANCIN'
AND SINGIN'
AND MOVIN'
TO THE GROOVIN'
AND JUST WHEN IT HIT ME
SOMEBODY TURNED AROUND
AND SHOUTED
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
WHITE BOY
- PLAY THA FUNKY MUSIC RIGH - YEAH
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
WHITE BOY
LAY DOWN THE BOOGIE
AND PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
TILL YOU DIE
- [ Stops ]
- [ Equipment Feedback ]
[ Conner ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CREED...
WILL NOT BE HERE TONIGHT--
REPEAT,
WILL NOT BE HERE TONIGHT.
AND DROP CURTAIN.
CUE.
[ Whimpering ] MRS. WHITMAN,
IT'S MY, UM-- MY P--
[ Mrs.
Whitman ] IT'S MINE NOW!
NO, MRS.-- YOU'RE--
- [ Cracks ]
- [ All Gasp ]
YO, EAST HIGHLAND,
YOU KNOW GIL HARRIS.
[ Cheering ]
HEY, ROCKY CREEK,
YOU REMEMBER DIZ HARRISON.
- [ Muffled Yelling ]
- [ Barclay ]
GUESS WHAT, FOLKS.
GIL AND DIZ
ARE THE SAME GUY.
[ Students Murmuring ]
[ Barclay ] HE MADE FOOLS
OF ALL OF YOU.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
ASK HIM YOURSELF.
MAYBE FOR ONCE
HE'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
[ All Shouting ]
THIS SUCKS! WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HEY, HEY, HEY!
- NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
UM, LOOK, I CAN EXPLAIN.
[ Booing, Shouting ]
[ Whistle Blows ]
- BOO!
- [ Shouting Continues ]
[ All Gasp,
Shouting Stops ]
- LET THE BROTHER SPEAK.
- LUTHER!
IT'S NOT JUST LUTHER.
SPIDERS.
YOU PLAY
MY KIND OF MUSIC.
- [ Feedback ]
- HEY! [ Chuckles ]
HEY, RED.
OUT OF THE WAY, RED.
- I BEEN IN
THE PEN QUITE A WHILE.
- [ Whimpering ]
EVERYTHING YOU SAW
ON THAT SCREEN...
WAS COMPLETELY TRUE.
- [ Gasping, Murmuring ]
- [ Giggling ]
THEY'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LIAR.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I DOKNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
- [ Sniffing ]
- I WAS TRYING TO BECOME...
SOMETHING MORE THAN JUS A BLIP ON THE RADAR SCREEN.
SO I MADE SOMEONE UP.
SOMEONE I THOUGH YOU'D ALL LIKE.
AND ALL BECAUSE...
I CARED MORE ABOUT WHA OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME...
THAN ABOU WHAT ITHOUGHT OF ME.
[ Sniffling ]
BUT I'D BE - I'M NO THE ONLY PERSON HERE...
- HOLD ME, BABY.
WHO'S EVER LET THAT HAPPEN.
WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?
- [ Murmuring Continues ]
- BROKE DICK!
- BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
- BROKE DICK!
[ Conner, Barclay, Crowd ]
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
YOU'D BETTER COME
SCOOP UP YOUR FRIEND.
- [ Shotgun Cocks ]
- MOVE IT!
[ Students Continue
Shouting ]
ANYBODY GO A STAPLE GUN?
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
DIZ! OH, MY GOD!
YOU'RE BLEEDING.
- MY NOSE!
- THE CROWD OUT THERE,
THEY'RE ANIMALS.
NO, ANIMALS ARE KINDER.
THEY DON'T BOO
WHEN THEY'RE
KILLING SOMETHING.
OW! OW.
DIZ, YOU ARE AMAZING.
- YOU CAME ALONG
AND STOLE MY HEAR - WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
- CAN'T I APPRECIATE YOU?
- WHEN YOU ENTERED MY LIFE
YOU'RE SCARING ME.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
YOU INSPIRE ME.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR
THE LONGEST TIME.
I HAVE TO LET SOMEBODY KNOW
HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM.
- I WANT YOU
- UM,
YOU KNOW, NORA, I CAN'T--
[ Grunting, Moaning ]
BETTER THAN PLAYSTATION 2?
NOW IT IS.
YO, I GUESS
IT'S ME AND YOU, MAN.
- AND US.
- AND US.
AND ME.
[ Grunting,
Moaning Continues ]
WOULD YOU TWO
GET A ROOM?
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO CALL YOU.
BROKE DICK
SEEMS TO BE POPULAR.
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST LIAR
I'VE EVER MET.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LIAR.
[ Danielle Sighs ]
YOU KNOW, THEY CALLED ME
DAN THE MAN.
- WHAT?
- YEAH.
OF COURSE, THAT WAS BEFORE
I LOST THE BRACES
AND GREW MY BOOBS.
THEN I BECAME
DANIELLE THE BODY.
I DROPPED ALL
THE FRIENDS I EVER HAD
BECAUSE THEY LOOKED
LIKE THE OLD ME.
VERY SELFISH AND MEAN,
BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED
SO BADLY TO FIT IN.
BEEN THERE.
DO YOU EVEN RIDE
THE MOTORCYCLE?
YEAH, ACTUALLY, I DO.
BUT IT USUALLY
TAKES A STATION WAGON
OR A BUSH TO STOP ME.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
DON'T ASK ME.
THE LAST PLAN I HAD
BLEW UP PRETTY BADLY.
YEAH, NO KIDDIN'.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
[ Students Laughing ]
[ Both Grunting ]
SO, YOU SEE,
I SAVED HIS NARROW BEHIND...
AND HE GOT TO KISS THE GIRL.
I HOPE THAT INSPIRES YOU.
IT HAS.
IT'S TAUGHT ME A LOT.
IT'S EASY FOR
A MAN LIKE MYSELF
TO FORGET WHAT MOST POOR SLOBS
WILL DO TO GET A WOMAN.
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
MY FAULT.
I TALK TOO MUCH.
[ Bleep ] THAT REALLY DID
BURN ME. SORRY.
NOBODY CARES
'CAUSE I'M ALONE
IN THE WORLD AND
- NOBODY WANTS TO BE ALONE...
- OH, GOD.
- YOU OKAY?
- THAT ONE CLIPPED IT, DUDE.
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
I'M JUST A KID
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
NOBODY CARES 'CAUSE I'M ALONE
AND THE WORLD IS
HAVING MORE FUN
- THAN ME.
-THAT'S WHY I WANT TO USE YOU.
[ Crew Laughing ]
AND MAYBE WHEN
THE NIGHT IS DEAD
I'LL CRAWL INTO MY BED
[ Continues ]
- YOU STARIN' AT MY JANET?
- NO. NO WAY, MAN.
SHALL WE DO THAT AGAIN?
' CAUSE YOU
COULDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE [ Bleep ] I SAID.
[ Garbled Nonsense ]
- CUT.
- I'M SORRY. THAT SUCKED.
HERE ON MY OWN
AND HERE IT GOES
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
I'M JUST A KID
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
- MAN, LOOK AT THAT!
-OHH!
[ All Yelling ]
DON'T GIVE THEM MERCY--
OH, GOD, I BLEW THE LINE.
CHECK ME OUT!
BAT WINGS! WHOO!
- WHOA!
- CUT! CUT!
IT'S THE WORST NIGHT EVER
YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? I NEED
THREE GALLONS
OF MINERAL WATER.
I NEED ABOUT 16
MARTINI OLIVES.
AND I NEED ENOUGH HUMMUS
TO COVER THIS BEAUTIFUL
GIRL'S ENTIRE BODY.
- YOU GOT THAT?
- [ Whimpers ]
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
HEY, MAN,
YOU GOT A SMOKE, MAN?
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
NOBODY CARES 'CAUSE I'M ALONE
IN THE WORLD TONIGH HOW YOU DOING?
[ Grunts ]
- BETTER NOW.
- OOH!
OKAY, CUT!
[ Whinnies ]
[ Funk ]
UH-OH!
UH-OH!
[ Grunts,
Rapping ] YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
-DO YA.
-NO.
BUT I BET YOU RECOGNIZE ME
WHEN I START TO BRING IT TO YA
I AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE
AND THIS IS WHAT I MISS
IT'S A LITTLE
DIFFERENT OUT HERE
THAT'S PROBABLY
WHY THEY WATCH ME
DON'T WORRY
WHEN I FINISH WITH
THE MUMBLE MAKE 'EM JOCK ME
YOU CAN'T HELP
YOU CAN'T STOP ME
YO KNOW YOU CAN'T STOP ME
'CAUSE I'M SWINGIN' LIKE ROCKY
YOU CAN SNAP THOSE TWO FEE THE GIRLS GOT TO BE BOMB
THEY CALLIN' ME NEW MEA WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS LADY
BUT IF YOU REALLY WANNA
GRAB HOLD OF ME, BABY
SHE'LL SAY, "OH, NO"
UNTIL I SHOW HER ATTENTION
SAY, "OH, LORD"
DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW
I'LL BE KNOCKIN' OUT THE SIDE
THAT AIN'T HARD
FOR THE NEW GUY
YOU DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GON' HIT IT, HUH
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
CLEAN UP YOUR AC AND CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES
DID YOU GET I DON'T SEE YOU NO MORE
DON'T COME AROUND HERE
UNLESS YOU'RE DOIN'
WHAT I'M DOIN' TO
THE MAN RIGHT HERE
YOU CAN PRACTICE
TILL YOU GET TIGH YOU CAN STAND IN FRON OF THE MIRROR ALL NIGH TILL YOU GET IT RIGH TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YA
WOULDN'T HAVE NO SOUL
BUT AN AFRO COMB TO YA
ABOUT TO TEACH YA
HOW TO TALK
GOTTA MOVE YOUR LEGS 'FORE
THE SISTER SHOW
YOU HOW TO ROLL
DIP A LITTLE BI MOVE YOUR NECK
'CAUSE YOU PROBABLY COULDN' CATCH A RHYTHM IN A NE YOU'RE ALL BEA WITH NO STANCE
CAN'T SING, CAN'T DANCE
CAN'T JUMP
'CAUSE YOU OFF BALANCE
GOTTA LISTEN TO THE GROOVE
THAT'S IF YOU
EVER COULD CALL
YOURSELF NEW AND IMPROVED
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
TELL ME WHO YOU KNOW WHO RAP
ALBUM FULL OF SINGLES
WE'RE READY TO PLAY
'CAN'T SING MY JINGLE
YOUR MAMA TELL 'EM
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS
WHEN THE VIDEO COME ON
HEY, LET 'EM SING "DANGER"
THEY GO OUTSIDE
AND SHAKE A FEATHER
JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T BREAK I RHYMIN', SIGNIN'
BEHIND THE BEA SO IF YOU HEAR 'EM CURSIN'
DON'T BLAME IT ON ME
STAND ON STAGE
LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE LIGH A YOUNG BLACK RAPPER
I DO ALL RIGH AND YOU CAN FEEL THE KIDS
A-KICKIN' HIS SONGS
AND WHEN I'M ON THE MIKE
I CAN'T DO NO WRONG
I BREAK 'EM OFF
I DO MY THANG
TREND-SETTER CUTTIN' UP
AIN'T NOTHIN' GON' CHANGE
I TEAR DOWN A DISC
BREAK FOR TWO
AND NOW I'M PAYIN' MY DUES
I WISH THEY WOULD CALL ME NEW
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
HAVIN' TROUBLES.
WELL, NO WONDER.
LOOK AT YA.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE THINGS
AROUND IN YOUR LIFE,
SO YOU COME
TO HEAR THE STORY.
WELL, IN HIGH SCHOOL,
POPULARITY AIN'T A CONTEST.
IT'S A WAR, AND DIZZY HARRISON
IS ITS GREATEST CASUALTY.
SEE, HIS STORY
IS REALLY MY STORY,
BECAUSE BEHIND
EVERY SO-CALLED HERO...
IS A LITTLE PISSED-OFF DUDE
THAT DON'T GET NO CREDIT.
[ Fist Pounds On Table ]
WE HAVE TO GO BACK A WAYS.
YOU KNOW, EVEN AS
A SMALL CHILD,
DIZZY HARRISON HAD
HIS OWN PARTICULAR STYLE.
- [ James Brown ]
WATCH ME, WATCH ME
- [ Singing Along ]
I GOT I WATCH ME
I GOT IT, YEAH
I GO SOMETHIN' THAT MAKES ME
WANT TO SHOU I GO SOMETHIN' THAT TELLS ME
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, HA
I GOT SOUL
AND I'M SUPER BAD
HA
I GOT SOUL, HA
AND I'M SUPER BAD
- HA
- HA
I'M A LOVER,
LOVE TO DO MY THING, HA
AS YOU CAN SEE, I DIDN'T HAVE
A WHOLE HELL OF
A LOT TO WORK WITH.
NO ONE ELSE
SOMETIMES
I FEEL SO NICE
GOOD GOD
I JUMP BACK
I WANNA KISS MYSELF
I GOT SOUL
HA, AND
I'M SUPER BAD
HEY, I SAID
I'M SUPER BAD
BRIDGE COME ON
UP AND DOWN
AND AROUND
AND AROUND
UP AND DOWN
AND ALL AROUND
RIGHT ON, PEOPLE
GIMME, GIMME
YEAH
OOF! AH HURT MAH'SELF.
AND IT'S NOT LIKE THINGS GO A WHOLE LOT BETTER FROM THERE.
AS THE YEARS WENT BY,
HE GOT TALLER,
WHITER, SKINNIER.
FIRST DAY, SENIOR YEAR.
- AND WE'RE GONNA
BE THE TOP DOGS.
- RUFF!
RUFF! RUFF!
- RUFF!
- RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!
[ Laughing ]
I WISH I'D
DROWNED THIS SUMMER.
WE ALL DO, KIRK.
LET'S FACE IT. WE'RE BLIPS,
AND WE'RE ALWAYS
GONNA BE BLIPS.
- "BLIPS"?
- MAN, WE BARELY ON THE RADAR.
NOT THIS YEAR. WE'RE SENIORS.
SORRY, KIDS, I GOTTA GO
WITH DIZZY ON THIS ONE.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
TO MAKE A CHANGE.
- [ Groans ]
- FULL METAL JACKET.
[ Laughs ]
DAD, PUT THOSE AWAY.
- [ Laughs ]
- YOU'RE SUCH A DORK.
I SAY WE BE HOME SCHOOLING?
WHO'S WITH ME?
- MY DAD COULD TEACH DRINKING.
- A'RIGHT.
NOBODY BAILS.
BANDS STICK TOGETHER.
GUYS, RELAX.
MUSIC HAS
THE POWER TO TRANSFORM.
- OW!
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Muffled ]
THERE'S SOME PAIN.
- GOOD LUCK, SON.
YO, BLIP,
LITTLE HELP?
- [ Grunts ]
- OOF!
- [ Animal Roars ]
- I'LL NEVER GET USED TO THAT.
I MEAN--
- [ Car Alarm Wailing ]
- CAN ANYONE HELP ME?
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- OKAY.
- WHOA, HANG ON.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
TALK TO HER.
I MEAN, THAT IS
TINA "ASSGOOD," MAN.
SO?
THAT'S LIKE A WOOD ELF
VERSUS AL'KABAR.
YOU'LL GET POWER-LEVELED.
WE'RE NOT PLAYING EVERQUEST.
WE'RE HERE ON PLANET EARTH.
YOU SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
I'M GOIN' IN.
WATCH ME
TAKE THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
- TINA.
- AND YOU ARE?
- DIZZY.
- [ Alarm Continues ]
ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME,
OR WHAT?
OH, YEAH.
UH, YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR, UH--
[ Clicking ]
[ Alarm Chirps, Stops ]
IT'S REALLY VERY TECHNICAL.
A BLIP IS TALKIN'
TO TINA OSGOOD.
YO, LOOK AT MY BOY.
DIDN'T THEY TIE YOU UP
LAST YEAR...
AND MAKE YOU WEAR
RUBBER BREASTS?
[ Muffled Grunting ]
YOU REMEMBER.
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
I IMAGINE GOD
HAVING AN ASS LIKE THAT.
DID THAT SOUND GAY?
I'VE BEEN THINKIN'.
WE'RE SENIORS NOW
AND, UM, MAYBE SOMETIME,
IF YOU WANTED TO DRINK
COFFEE, YOU KNOW,
NEAR ME,
I WOULD PAY.
TRYEAH?Y--
YOU'TYPE.MY--
[ School Bell Rings ]
YOU KNOW THOSE MOMENTS
WHEN A MAN MAKES A DECISION
THAT'LL CHANGE
HIS ENTIRE LIFE...
AND HE STEPS UP TO BECOME
THE HERO HE WAS MEANT TO BE?
THIS AIN'T ONE
OF THOSE MOMENTS.
I WAS THINKING ABOU THIS WHOLE "TYPE" THING,
AND TO BE HONEST,
YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE EITHER.
[ Laughs ]
DID YOU REALLY
THINK THAT WOULD WORK?
NO, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS
WORTH GIVING IT A SHOT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
[ Ethereal Chord ]
YO, FREAK!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
TALKING, EXCHANGING WORDS,
INNOCENT CONVERSATION.
INNOCENT?
THEN WHAT'S THIS?
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasping ]
OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S DISGUSTING!
HEY, LOSER,
NICE PUP TENT.
WE NEED TO COVER YOU UP.
[ Fabric Ripping ]
- [ Rock ]
- OW!
OH!
WHAT IS THIS?
MRS. WHITMAN,
IT'S MY, UM--
WELL, IT'S MINE NOW.
OUCH!
IS THIS A WEAPON?
YOU CAN'T BRING
LOADED WEAPONS TO SCHOOL.
LADY, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE TEARING THE SKIN!
MRS. WHITMAN!
[ Screams ]
OW! MY--
I'M SHOWING THIS
TO PRINCIPAL ZAYLOR.
- CUT IT OUT!
- [ Cracks ]
[ No Audible Scream ]
GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT ME
GOT ME SO I DON' KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
YOU REALLY GOT ME
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN'.
IT'S NOT MEDICALLY POSSIBLE.
LET ME ASK YOU THIS--
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
[ Screeches ]
I HAVE GOOD NEWS.
YOUR SON'S
CONDITION IS TREATABLE.
CONDITION?
WHAT CONDITION?
THAT I CAN PEE
AROUND A CORNER?
DIZZY, WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
HE CAN'T HELP IT. YOU SEE,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH DIZZY,
IN MEDICAL TERMS,
IT'S CALLED
TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.
[ Laughs ]
TOURETTE SYNDROME?
ARE YOU OU OF YOUR F-- [ Muffled ]
LANGUAGE, SON.
NO, NO, NO.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA CURE HIM
WITH FORCE, PAPA BEAR.
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT O' HUGS
AND A LOT O' DRUGS.
NOW, ONLY TAKE ONE
O' THESE A DAY. NICE PACK.
YOUR LIFE
IS GOING NOWHERE FAST
THERE HE IS.
DIZ?
[ Slurred ] THEY
GAVE ME THESE PILLS
FOR MY TOURETTE'S,
BUT THEY'RE NOT...
WORKING.
COME ON.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
NOT THAT BAD?
AT LEAST AS BLIPS...
WE WERE INVISIBLE.
IF YOU BREAK YOUR DICK
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL,
PEOPLE REMEMBER THAT.
HE'S RIGHT.
HIS LIFE IS RUINED.
I MEAN, I'M AN IDIOT.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO
BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN.
I NEED MORE
OF THESE PILLS.
[ Choir ]
OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
YO, DIZ, MAN, HOW CAN YOU
BE DEPRESSED...
WITH ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL CHURCH
MUSIC LIKE THAT PLAYING, HUH?
DIZ?
DIZ?
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
- OH, WHAT A HAPPY DAY
- OH, HAPPY DAY
YES, YES, YES!
THANK YOU, BROTHERS
AND SISTERS...
OF THE SUNSHINE
GOSPEL CHOIR.
VERY STIRRING.
VERY HIP.
AMEN!
YES, YES, YES.
NOW, DO THE REST OF YOU
YOUNG PEOPLE KNOW...
WHAT ELSE IS HIP?
SEXUAL ABSTINENCE.
CAN I GET AN "AMEN"
ON THAT?
AMEN!
OH, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
I SAID, GLORY,
HALLELUJAH!
GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
- GLORY, HALLELUJAH!
- OOF!
[ Slurred ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
I'D LIKE TO TALK
TO YOU ALL ABOUT SEX.
THE DEVIL'S MIDDLE NAME. SEX!
AMEN!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST FORM
OF SEXUAL ABSTINENCE IS?
- BEIN' ME.
- [ Murmuring ]
CAN I GET AN "AMEN"?
AMEN!
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT SOME PAIN?
LET ME HEAR YA!
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT PAIN?
THAT BOY'S GO THE SPIRIT.
HE'S AN IDIOT.
IF EVERY MEMBER
OF THE OPPOSITE
SEX EVER TOLD YOU...
YOU WERE NOT HER TYPE!
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA SHOUT "AMEN"...
IF YOU'VE EVER
HAD DUCT TAPE-UH
RIPPED OFF-UH...
YOUR NAKED BUTTOCKS-UH!
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA SHOUT "AMEN"...
IF YOU'VE EVER HAD YOUR
MANHOOD RIGHT-ANGLED...
IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE-UH
CONGREGATION!
NOW, LET ME HEAR YA SHOU "AMEN" UP HIGH--
LET'S GO, WHITE BOY.
AMEN!
LET ME HEAR YA
SHOUT "AMEN."
THIS BOY WAS IN PAIN.
HE WAS IN TROUBLE.
HE NEEDED GUIDANCE.
HE WAS ABOUT TO GE A LESSON IN BAD
FROM THE BES IN THE BUSINESS.
[ Flashbulbs Popping ]
[ Door Slams ]
WHAT HAPPENED TO PACO?
I GOT NO ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION.
BACK UP.
THE NEW MAN IS MINE.
[ Whip Snaps ]
NOT THE CRAZY EYES, LUTHER.
I WAS JUST MESSIN'.
YOU BEEN LOOKIN'
AT MY JANET?
NO. NO WAY.
EIGHTEEN YEARS
AND FORTY-ONE DAYS...
IT'S ME AND YOU, BABY.
[ Whip Snaps ]
UM,
OKAY, I'M SCARED.
- GUARD?
- OH, THAT'S SO--
RELAX, WHITE BOY.
OKAY.
WHAT'D YA DO
TO GET IN HERE?
UM, WELL, I-I-I'M
NOT REALLY SURE.
S-SEE, I'VE BEEN
HEAVILY MEDICATED LATELY,
- AND THE LAS THING I REMEMBER...
- [ Sniffing ]
IS MY DAD DROPPING ME OFF
IN SCHOOL.
- YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
- YES.
I STILL GET CHILLS
THINKIN' ABOUT IT.
FISH STICKS!
[ Spits ]
WELL,
I'VE OFFICIALLY BECOME...
THE BIGGEST LOSER
AT MY SCHOOL,
SO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE
GOING BACK THERE.
SO IT'S OKAY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ Whispering ]
I SEE THAT.
I WAS A BI-ITCH
AT THE LAST PRISON.
I REMEMBER THEY
STRAPPED ME TO A CHAIR...
WITH DUCT TAPE...
IN A DRESS!
WITH... MAKEUP?
- FAKE--
- [ Together ] RUBBER BREASTS.
MY BROTHER,
COME ON OVER HERE
AND SIT DOWN.
YOU KNOW, HIGH SCHOOL
IS A LOT LIKE PRISON:
BAD FOOD, HIGH FENCES.
THE SEX YOU WANT,
YOU AIN'T GETTIN',
THE SEX YOU GETTIN',
YOU DON'T WANT.
I SEEN TERRIBLE THINGS.
YESTERDAY, AN 80-YEAR-OLD
LIBRARIAN BROKE MY PENIS.
YOU WIN.
SO HOW DID
YOU CHANGE THINGS?
GOT MYSELF THROWN OU THE LAST PRISON,
THEN I STARTED
FRESH HERE.
THAT WORKED?
- WATCH THIS.
- [ Whip Snaps ]
[ Gasping ]
- [ Whip Snaps ]
- [ Gasps ]
WOW. THAT'S WHA I GOTTA DO--
SWITCH PRISONS
AND START OVER.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT YOU DID
TO GET KICKED OUT.
I'LL DO ANYTHING.
WELL, THE FIRST THING
I DID...
WAS BROKE
ALL THE RULES.
I CAN BREAK
ALL THE RULES.
THEN I STARTED
ACTIN' CRAZY.
YEAH, I CAN ACT ALL--
[ Imitating Luther ] CRAZY.
THEN I GRABBED
A BROKEN MOP HANDLE
AND SNAPPED I ACROSS THE WARDEN'S BUTT.
[ School Bell Ringing ]
HEY, LISTEN, YOU GUYS,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE.
WHY DON'T WE GE EXPELLED TOGETHER?
NAH, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU CAN GO.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN?
- NO.
I TALK A BIG GAME,
BUT I'M NOT AS
TOUGH AS I LOOK.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING,
MR. HARRISON?
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT AMI THINKING?
HEY, EVERYBODY, THE ANSWER
TO NUMBER 23 IS "GUAM."
THANKS, BROKE WOOD.
AND, MR. LUBEROFF,
THERE'S MORE WHERE
THIS CAME FROM AT FINALS TIME.
[ Sputtering ]
WATCH ME
[ Screeches ]
MY LORD, DIZZY--
CHEATIN', BRIBERY.
THOSE ARE GROUNDS
FOR EXPULSION--
OR AN OBVIOUS CRY
FOR HELP.
WOULD BE BADLY UPSET.
OTHERS,
LIKE THE PRAYING MANTIS,
OFTEN EAT THEIR MATES--
[ Flips Switch ]
WHAT'S BROKE WOOD DOING?
WALKIN'
THROUGH THE CORRIDORS
THIRD-YEAR SOPHOMORE
FEELIN' LIKE AN AMATEUR
A SPY IN CANADA
TALKIN' TO
THE COUNSELOR WHO'S
BORED WITH HIS OWN JOKES
- CHECKIN' ON MY STORY
- [ Students ] HUH?
I MUST BE IMMATURE
MY BRAIN'S ON A DETOUR
NEVER GONNA LIVE
TO BE A SENIOR
BUT I DON'T CARE
'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S UNFAIR
I GOT PLANS TO BE
THE DROPOUT MILLIONAIRE
OH, NO,
DON'T GET ME WRONG
ME AND SCHOOL
JUST DON'T GET ALONG
YO, THAT'S
PRINCIPAL ZAYLOR.
[ Gasping, Laughing ]
[ Groaning, Straining ]
YOU'RE A FIGHTER.
TRY THIS!
CHICKEN! CHICKEN!
SAY "MERCY."
[ Groans ]
OH, YOU'RE ALMOS AT THE HEAD OF THE CLASS.
- [ Flatulence, Splashing ]
- [ Groans ]
[ Splashing ]
AND... CUT.
[ Laughing ]
[ Screeches ]
THIS IS THE PAR OF MY JOB I HATE.
EXPELLING PEOPLE?
NO, SILLY GOOSE, WE'RE GONNA
DOUBLE YOUR MEDICATION,
INCREASE YOUR THERAPY AND
YOU MAY STAY ANOTHER YEAR.
HEY, LOSER,
HOW'S IT HANGIN'?
YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT TOILET-CAM
WAS YOUR BEST WORK EVER.
LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA BE STUCK
HERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE--
OR AM I?
HEY! HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ Cracks ]
HUH? HALT!
DID YOU JUST BREAK THAT MOP,
HARRISON? GIVE ME THAT.
YES.
YOU DESTROYED SCHOOL PROPERTY.
YOU'RE EXPELLED.
YES!
I DID IT. I BUSTED OUT.
A'RIGHT, KID.
I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU READY TO BE
LUTHER-SIZED?
PREACH, MY BROTHER.
MAN, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU
FROM BITCH TO BULL.
[ Laughs ]
[ Horse Snorting ]
YOU WANNA GET A REPUTATION
AT YOUR NEW SCHOOL,
YOU HAVE TO CRACK OPEN HEADS
IN THE YARD DAY ONE.
FIND THE BIGGEST, BADDEST CA AND WHUP HIS ASS.
MAKE SURE EVERYBODY
SEES HIM GO DOWN.
"EVERYBODY SEES HIM
GO DOWN." GOT IT.
[ Grunts ]
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE
BORN WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE.
[ Grunting ]
LIKE BARCLAY.
WHO'S BARCLAY?
HE'S THE BULLY
AT MY LAST SCHOOL.
[ Grunts ]
HE MIGHT BE
BORN WITH IT,
BUT WITH MY INSIGHT,
STREET SMARTS...
AND KNOWLEDGE OF EVERY
ACTION MOVIE EVER MADE,
WE GONNA PERFECT IT.
- [ Horse Neighs ]
- UH-OH.
[ Gunshot ]
AH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT.
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
SAME CAT.
NEVER GETS AWAY.
COME ON.
THE FIRST THING
YOU WANNA DO...
IS GOUGE THE DUDE'S EYES OU SO HE CAN'T SEE TO FIGHT.
HEY, THIS KID'S
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OH, THEN YOU'RE GONNA
WANNA FIGHT DIRTY.
ALL RIGHT,
SET YOUR FEET,
SPREAD YOUR PALMS--
TIGER CLAW!
[ Gong Sounds ]
ARE YOU SURE IT'S
NOT "TIGER PAW"?
- [ Groans ]
- [ Hits Ground ]
- TIGER CLAW!
- [ Gong Sounds ]
NOW YOU'RE READY.
[ Growling ]
JUST WATCH MY HANDS.
WATCH MY HANDS.
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Laughing ]
GRAB SOME ROPE.
WE GOTTA BUILD SOME MUSCLE.
OH, YOU ACT LIKE
YOU CAN'T GET UP THERE.
WELL, MOTIVATION'S
ON THE WAY. HEH, HEH.
YES, INDEED-Y.
FEED THE NEEDY. THERE YOU GO.
LUTHER,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YES, INDEED.
OH, GET UP THERE.
WHAT'S THAT BURNING?
THAT'S ME!
[ Screams ]
UH, JUST ROLL AROUND.
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU CAN'T ACT TOUGH,
YOU GOTTA LOOK TOUGH.
- OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW--
- [ Sizzling ]
BUTCH UP, GIRLY-PANTS.
GOT A SEC?
PHONE CALL FOR YOU,
WARDEN.
WIFE AGAIN?
[ Horse Neighs ]
[ Gunshot ]
[ Laughing ]
I'LL NEVER GET TIRED
OF THAT. [ Laughs ]
IF YOU TALK THE TALK,
YOU WALK THE WALK--
HEY, LUTHER.
OTHERWISE, YOU BE
LINED IN CHALK.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEBODY.
[ Metal Door Clangs ]
- THE FUNK MASTER.
- [ Hissing ]
[ Trumpet Fanfare ]
SOMEBODY...
GIVE ME A BEAT!
STAND ON THE STAGE
LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE LIGH A YOUNG BLACK RAPPER
I DO ALL RIGH AND YOU CAN FEEL THE KIDS
A-KICKIN' HIS SONGS
AND WHEN I'M ON THE MIKE
THEM CRAZY EYES--
IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY HIT YOU
IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD...
AND YOUR EYES ALMOS JUMP OUT YOUR SKULL.
TRY IT!
THIS IS YOUR "BROTHER,
WHERE MY MONEY" WALK.
WHERE IT AT?
WHERE IT AT?
'BOUT TO BUST A CAP.
'BOUT TO BUST A CAP.
FLARE YOUR NOSTRILS OUT.
YOU GOTTA OPEN 'EM UP...
SO EVERYBODY
CAN SEE THE ROCKS,
THE BULLETS IN THERE.
LOOSEN THE ASS.
THAT'S TOO LOOSE.
THEY GONNA TRY
AND PLAY YOU LIKE A BITCH,
SO YOU GOTTA HIT 'EM
WITH A "BITCH" FIRST,
LIKE "WHO'S THE BITCH NOW"?
WATCH THIS.
[ Whip Snaps ]
TRY IT! TRY IT!
[ Squeaky Scratching ]
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
I'M THINKING, HALF BRAD PITT,
FIGHT CLUB,
HALF ANNE HECHE,
IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK.
THIS IS FOR
YOUR STUDENT I.D.
YOUR NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE.
AND THIS ONE'S
FOR THE PLAYER'S CLUB.
ESTE! QUIETO, PAPI.
[ Laughing ]
HA-- THAT AIN'T RIGHT.
BILLYCOCK IT! YOU KNOW?
COCK IT. FIRE!
COCK IT.
SHOOT THE GUN.
SHOOT THE GUN!
COCK IT--
[ Hits Floor ]
TIGER CLAW!
[ Gong Sounds ]
[ Laughs ]
- [ Yells ]
- [ Bell Rings ]
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
[Luther] NOW YOU'RE READY
FOR YOUR NEW PRISON.
JUST WANT TO CLING ON
SWING ON AND SO FORTH
GO ON, FALL OFF
THE HO'S ROLL ON
TILL THE NEXT ROCK SUPERSTAR
WITH NO SHAME
HEY, MASCOT,
YOU DROPPED YOUR BAGPIPES!
[ Honks ]
OH, THANK YOU.
[ Groans ]
SUCK ON THAT, PAL!
[ Panting ]
HEY, TUBA MIDGET.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
THIS PLACE IS A ZOO.
HE DID SAY 12:30.
YEAH.
SO WHERE IS HE?
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Hydraulics Hissing ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Chains Rattling ]
OOH.
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
- [ Heavy Breathing ]
[ Heavy Breathing Continues ]
[ Chains Rattling ]
[ Heavy Breathing Continues ]
[ Whispering ]
GOOD LUCK, KID.
FLIP HIM!
[ Chains Rattling ]
BACK IN THE TRUCK!
[ Both ] WHOA.
IS THAT... DIZ?
- OH, MY GOD.
- [ Laughing ]
HE'S GO KIND OF A...
BRAD PITT THING
GOING THERE.
FROM BITCH
TO BULL, BABY.
I SAW A LITTLE
ANNE HECHE THERE TOO.
DOES THATSOUND GAY?
"FIND THE BIGGEST, BADDES MOTHER IN THE YARD...
AND KNOCK HIS ASS OUT."
LIFT THE KNEES, MAGGOT.
MAYBE WE'LL WIN ONE SORRY-ASS
GAME THIS YEAR.
- I THINK I'M
GONNA PUKE, COACH.
- USE IT!
KEEP LOOKIN' A THE HORSE'S ASS AND RUN.
ON THOSE SATURDAYS
WHEN KIDS GO OUT AND PLAY
YO, I WAS UP IN MY ROOM
I LET THE STEREO BLAZE
WASN'T FADED,
NOT JADED JUST A KID
WITH A PAD AND A PEN
AND A BIG IMAGINATION
BIGGEST AND BADDEST, BABY--
A-T-T-A-C-K THE LEADER
OF THE PACK.
PUNCH. A-T-T-A-C-K--
CARMEN, MORE CHEER,
LESS BULL DANCE, OKAY?
WE DON'T WANT GUYS STUFFING
BILLS DOWN YOUR PANTIES.
WHAT PANTIES?
CLICK,
CLICK, BOOM, I'M COMIN'
DOWN ON THE STEREO
HEAR ME ON THE RADIO
CLICK, CLICK, BOOM
I'M COMIN' DOWN
[ Whimpers ]
DON'T I HAVE
A DREAMY BOYFRIEND?
AND MAKE SURE EVERYBODY
SEES HIM GO DOWN.
CAREFUL.
HEY, YOU MIND
IF I SIT DOWN?
WRONG LEVEL, BITCH.
BITCH? SAY WHAT?
I THINK WE GO A REAL SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE.
YEAH? WELL, IF IT'S YOU,
THERE'S NO PRO--
[ Screams ]
[ Grunting ]
WHOA!
[ Laughing ]
[ School Bell Ringing ]
I'M COMIN'
DOWN ON THE STEREO
HEAR ME ON THE RADIO
- HI.
- OKAY.
CLICK, CLICK, BOOM
DUDE, WHAT'S WITH YOU?
WHO'S THE BI-ITCH NOW?
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Grunting ]
YOU GUYS MIGHT WANT TO COME
SCOOP UP YOUR FRIEND.
SHIT.
[ Panting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
GOD--
[ Panting ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN',
FREAK?
KNOCKING YOU INTO THE HALL
AND ME INTO THE HISTORY BOOKS.
[ Whispers ]
OKAY--
[ Shouts ]
WHO'S THE BI-ITCH NOW?
YOU'VE GOTTA BE
KIDDING ME!
[ Body Skidding On Wall ]
OH, GOD.
[ Panting ]
- [ Glass Breaks ]
- [ Glass Hitting Floor ]
DON'T PUSH AWAY.
[ Hits Floor ]
HELP.
[ Alarm Ringing ]
WHO'S... THE...
BITCH... NOW?
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Gasping ]
- [ Alarm Continues ]
- [ Murmuring ]
COMING THROUGH.
LOOK OUT. LOOK OUT.
LOOK OUT. COMING THROUGH.
TAKE YOUR HAT OFF IN SCHOOL.
- [ Alarm Continues ]
- [ Key Chain Zips ]
- [ Alarm Stops ]
- [ Key Chain Zips ]
CAN WE ALL HAVE A ROUND OF
APPLAUSE FOR CONNER MAGUIRE?
EVERYONE?
COME ON. YEAH.
EVERYONE?
YOU? YEAH.
COME ON.
DON'T BE SHY.
STOP IT!
ALL OF YOU!
HELLO, SON.
NOW, I TOLD YOU LAST TIME,
YOU START SOMETHING,
YOU'RE WHAT?
YOU'RE GONE!
WELL, MY FRIEND, LOOKS
LIKE IT'S LAST CALL, HUH?
LAST CALL?
HE DIDN'T START IT.
I DID.
WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU?
I'M THE NEW GUY.
[ Whip Snaps ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Whip Snaps ]
HEY, MAN,
HOW'S THE NOSE?
SHUT UP.
LOOK AT "DAT" FREAK
SITTING ON "TOB" OF THE TOWER.
MOVE!
I THINK WE SHOULD
UNROLL THE WELCOME MAT.
YEAH? I THINK I SHOULD
GO KICK HIS ASS.
GREAT. I'VE DREAMED
OF DATING THE EXPELLED GUY.
EXPELLED GUYS ROCK.
LATER.
LATER.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
OVER THERE.
WELL, I WASN'T.
NOW I AM. LATER.
HEY, MAN,
SHE JUST DISSED YOU.
DUDE, SHUT UP.
HEY, NEW GUY.
GOT A NAME?
HARRIS. GIL HARRIS.
I'M COURTNEY.
THAT'S CARMEN.
THAT'S DANIELLE.
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE OUR
LITTLE SLICE OF PARADISE?
WELL, I GOTTA TELL YA,
IT'S NICE TO BE
SOMEWHERE WITHOUT... BARS.
YOU WERE IN JAIL?
DID THEY GIVE YOU
A FULL BODY CAVITY SEARCH?
FORGIVE MY FRIENDS. THEY GE REALLY SHY AROUND STRANGERS.
MY FAULT.
I TALK TOO MUCH.
- THAT'S HOT.
- WELL,
THERE'S A PARTY TONIGH AT MY HOUSE...
IF YOU CAN COME.
- [ Paper Crumples ]
- I DON'T MAKE PLANS.
NOT MY STYLE.
[ Phil Collins ]
AND I CAN FEEL IT COMING
IN THE AIR TONIGH OH, LORD
BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS MOMEN FOR ALL MY LIFE
OH, LORD
[ Band ] I, I, I'M JUS A LOVE MACHINE
AND I WON'T WORK FOR NOBODY
BUT YOU, OOH, YEAH
- I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE
- YEAH, BABY
A HUGGIN', KISSING THING
- [ Guitar Chord ]
- WHOO!
WE LOVE YOU, ROCKY CREEK!
WE'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!
WE LOVE TEXAS,
AND WE LOVE YOU TOO!
SO I'M GUESSING
THAT IT WENT WELL.
FOR THE FIRST 18 YEARS,
THINGS WERE ONE WAY,
AND IN TEN MINUTES
IT COMPLETELY CHANGED.
THEY BOUGHT IT.
THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
YOU KNOW YOU JUST MADE I TO THE 50th LEVEL OF KUNARK.
BETTER.
I GOT INVITED TO A PARTY.
ME. DIZZY GILLESPIE HARRISON.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I DO
THE BOOGALOO.
WATCH ME, HA
WHOA, SLOW DOWN,
FUNKY WHITE BOY.
DID THEY INVITE YOU
OR GIL HARRIS?
WHATEVER.
THE POINT IS, TODAY...
NOBODY STUFFED ME IN MY LOCKER
OR SINGED OFF MY ASS HAIR.
- PLEASE--
- NO OFFENSE.
HEY,
ARE YOU SAYING THESE CHICKS
PARTY ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?
COURTNEY DOES.
THAT IS, WITHOUT DOUBT,
THE SLUTTIEST GIRL
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I KNOW.
ISN'T IT GREAT?
YOU HAVE TO DO HER, AND WHILE
YOU'RE WITH HER, THINK OF ME.
OKAY, THATSOUNDED GAY.
THAT'S THE THING.
COURTNEY'S EXPECTING...
"GIL" AT THE PARTY TONIGHT.
SHE'S RIGHT.
HOW WOULD GIL HARRIS PARTY?
I THINK THE QUESTION IS,
HOW WOULD GIL GET JIGGY
WITH THIS COURTNEY CHICK...
AND MAKE HER SAY
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY"...
[ Laughs ]
WHILE RESPECTING HER
AS A WOMAN.
DIZ, YOU READY
FOR THIS?
LOOK, MY DAD LOVES THIS BIKE
MORE THAN HE LOVES ME.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
NO, IT IS. HE WROTE I IN MY BIRTHDAY CARD.
[ Sighs ]
SO, PLEASE, BE VERY CAREFUL.
THIS IS A VINTAGE,
FLAT TRACK RACING BIKE.
- IT'S VERY POWERFUL.
- [ Pats Cycle ]
YOU HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
STAND BACK.
I'LL START IT FOR YOU.
[ Engine Starts, Revs ]
[ Screeching ]
NOW, REMEMBER, I WON'T ALWAYS
BE AROUND TO DO THAT FOR YOU.
NOW I DON'T SEE
THINGS THE WAY I DID BEFORE
CAN'T STAND FEELING THIS WAY
COURTNEY GOT TONY HAWK
TO COME TO HER PARTY?
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO
FEEL SO DIFFERENT DAY TO DAY
THERE'S NOTHING
COOLER THAN THAT.
WHEN NOTHING'S CHANGED
EXCEPT FOR, OH
- WHOA!
- [ Horn Sounding ]
THINGS HAVE CHANGED
I DON'T FEEL THE SAME
DUDE'S CRAZY.
[ Urinating ]
HEY, MAN!
THESE ARE DOCKERS.
I MADE IT.
[ Yells ]
BUSH!
HEY!
COURTNEY, DID YOU SEE
THAT INDY 360?
TONY, PLEASE.
RANI, DID YOU SEE THAT INDY 3?
I COULD DO IT AGAIN.
[ Wheels Squeaking ]
HAVE ANY TROUBLE
FINDING THE HOUSE?
UM--
WELL, AREN'T YOU
THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE.
[ Laughs ]
WELL, I--
WANNA COME UPSTAIRS
WITH ME?
UM, I--
WANNA MAKE OU WITH ME?
UH, HEH.
UH, WELL, I--
WANNA TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF
WITH YOUR TEETH?
OKAY, YOU TALKED ME
INTO IT.
AREN'T YOU COMING?
ALMOST.
COURTNEY IS SUCH A SLUT.
WHICH DIDN'T STOP YOU
DATING HER TWO MONTHS.
IT WAS FOUR.
[ Cat Screeches ]
- [ Hip-hop, Indistinct ]
- [ Chattering ]
HEY, NEW GUY.
YOU WANNA DANCE,
NEW GUY?
HEH, HEH, HEH.
KNOW WHY
I LIKE IT OUT HERE?
THE VIEW?
NOPE. IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S
ALL THESE PEOPLE AROUND.
DOESN'T THAT TURN YOU ON,
KNOWING WE COULD BE CAUGH AT ANY MOMENT?
[ Laughs ]
YEAH, WELL, THAT, UM,
DOES MAKE THINGS
INTERESTING.
MMM.
WANNA MAKE OUT?
OKAY.
OH, I FORGOT SOMETHING.
[ Rustling ]
[ Hitting Glass,
Cat Screeches ]
READY FOR DESSERT?
GIL?
HELLO?
[ Hip-hop ]
[ Whimpering ]
COURTNEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I CAN'T... BELIEVE IT--
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
GIL... BLEW ME OFF.
[ Laughs ]
IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.
CARMEN, PUT IT AWAY.
HONEY, I KNEW THA BOY WAS TROUBLE.
SHIT.
HEY, HEY, GIRLS. I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN'.
"HE'S TOO GOOD-LOOKING
FOR ME," RIGHT? RIGHT?
HOLA? HABLA INGLES? HELLO--
- [ Metal Creaking ]
- [ Yells ]
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
I'M EXERCISING.
YOU GOT A PROBLEM?
NO. NO, NO.
IT'S COOL. IT'S COOL.
HEY, WHAT DOES THAT HIT?
YOUR, UH, LAT'S?
DELT'S? TRI'S? BI'S?
BACK CURLS.
GREAT FOR THE CALVES.
AB'S, COOL. SO YOU REALLY
BLOW OFF COURTNEY?
YOU CAN TELL US.
[ Both ]
YOU BLOW HER OFF?
I DIDN'T EXACTLY
BLOW HER OFF.
OH, WAIT. STOP, STOP, STOP.
STOP RIGHT THERE.
ANY DUDE WHO DISSES
COURTNEY MUST DATE...
THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS WOMEN
ON EARTH.
WHOA, WHOA!
HEY, WHAT CAN I SAY?
WHAT CAN I SAY?
YOU ARE THE MAN.
YOU ARE THE MAN!
[ Laughs ]
DID HE SAY
YOU'RE A FRAUD?
I DON'T THINK YOU'VE BEEN
WITH ANYONE.
[ Murmuring ]
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
SHE'S NOT JUST "ANYONE."
DUDE, THIS BABE'S
GOT IT ALL.
YES, SHE DOES.
I BET SHE KNOWS HOW TO
MAKE A GUY HAPPY, HUH?
HEY, I'D LOVE TO STAY
AND CHAT, BUT, UM,
JOSEFINA'S
WAITING FOR ME.
YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE.
DON'T MAKE ME DO
CRAZY EYES.
- [ Whip Snaps ]
- [ Gasping ]
JOSEFINA. EXOTIC.
ME GUSTA JOSEFINA.
GUYS, DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?
YEAH, IF WE WANNA GET CHICKS,
WE GOTTA WORK ON OUR AB'S.
LET'S GO. COME ON.
COME ON. UP. READY?
ONE, TWO--
[ Groans ]
I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
CHECK ME OUT, BABY. BAT WINGS!
HEY, CHUMP CHANGE,
GET DOWN.
BACKBONES, BABY! WHOO!
[ Engine Clicking ]
WATCH. THAT BIKE
WON'T EVEN START.
HE TRASHED I WHEN HE LANDED.
- [ Clicking Continues ]
- PLEASE START. PLEASE START.
[ Engine Starts,
Tires Screech ]
[ Engine Switches Off ]
IT'S A FULL-TIME JOB
TRYIN' TO SAVE HIS BUTT.
I ALMOST GOT LAID!
- WHOO, HOO!
- DID HE SAY "BRAKE"?
[ Screeching ]
WHOA!
I ALMOST GOT LAID!
HOO, HOO!
[ Laughing ]
SHE'S A BAD
MAMA JAMMA
JUST AS FINE
AS SHE CAN BE
HEY, SHE'S
A BAD MAMA JAMMA
JUST AS FINE
AS SHE CAN BE
HOO, HOO
HEY, WAITING UP
FOR ME, DAD?
YES, WE ARE.
"WE"?
HI. HEY.
UH, DAD, WHAT IS MISS PIERCE
DOING HERE?
KIKI'S HERE TO HELP US.
HELP US WITH WHAT?
AN INTERVENTION.
WE'RE SURROUNDIN' YOU
WITH LOVE.
NOW SIT.
OKAY, DRAMATIC CHANGE
IN APPEARANCE,
LACK OF COMMUNICATION,
ALTERED PATTERNS
OF BEHAVIOR--
WHAT ARE YA ON?
- [ Squeaks ]
- IS IT CRYSTAL METH?
IS IT THE CRANK?
ARE YA RIDIN'
THE WHITE PONY, SON?
[ Mouthing Words ]
UM,
NO, I'M NOT ON DRUGS, DAD,
I-I'M--I'M HAPPY.
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN I-I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN,
I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY.
[ Squeaks ]
IT OCCURS TO ME
TO TELL YOU...
THAT "DE-NIAL" IS NO JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT!
LOOK, SON,
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED
ABOUT ALARMS
GOIN' OFF AT WORK,
I MISSED THE ALARMS GOIN' OFF
RIGHT HERE AT HOME.
BUT I'M GONNA
MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
COME MONDAY,
I'M QUITTIN' MY JOB...
SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER 24-7.
BUT, DAD, HOW WILL YOU
PAY THE MORTGAGE?
I'LL SELL THE HOUSE.
DAD, DO NOT--
I REPEAT,
DO NOT DO THAT.
LOOK, SON, THERE'S NO POSSIBLE
WAY FOR YOU TO
UNDERSTAND THIS,
BUT WHEN THINGS
GET TRULY BAD,
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO
MAKE A DRASTIC CHANGE--
COMPLETELY REVAMP
EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE--
[ Mouthing Words ]
JUST TO GE WHAT YOU WANT.
BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT.
I'M NOT SICK.
I'M REVAMPED.
I'M REVAMPED. I'M REVAMPED.
IT'S VERY SWEET.
UNDERNEATH THE TOURETTE'S
AND THE CRANK,
HE STILL WANTS TO BE
LIKE HIS DADDY.
I AM SO ONTO YOU.
[ Muffled ]
YOU ARE?
YOU PRETEND TO NOT WANT TO
BE A PART OF THIS SCHOOL,
BUT YOU TOTALLY GET OFF
ON BEING A BAD-ASS.
[ Coughs ]
OH. YOU CAUGHT ME.
YEAH, AND THAT'S WHY
I WANT TO USE YOU.
OKAY, BUT, UM,
ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.
COME TO THE FOOTBALL GAME.
OUR TEAM SUCKS,
NOBODY SHOWS.
IT'S MORE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE
TO SIT ON A CAR AND DRINK...
AND PUKE THAN IT IS
TO WATCH A GAME.
IT'S HARD WORK
PRETENDING NOT TO CARE.
YEAH, BUT IF YOU SHOWED UP
MAYBE SOME OF THESE
OTHER FOOLS WOULD TOO.
I'M IN.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
YOU-YAM-WHAT?
MY GRANDMOTHER'S ALBANIAN.
IT MEANS "I OWE YOU ONE."
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
JUST ASKING THE NEW GUY
A FAVOR.
AND WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY
NEED FROM HIM?
OH, JUST THINGS
I'M NOT GETTING ELSEWHERE.
[ Marching Band,
Dissonant ]
[ Cheerleaders ]
GO, FIGHT, WIN!
GO, GO!
FIGHT, FIGHT!
WIN, WIN!
GO, FIGHT, WIN!
[ Counting Off
Unenthusiastically ]
[ Danielle ]
HERE WE GO, GUYS! COME ON!
COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND!
OKAY, READY?
[ Chanting ]
HOW FUNKY IS YOUR CHICKEN
HOW LOOSE IS YOUR GOOSE
SO COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND
SO DANIELLE FINALLY
DRAGGED YOU OU TO ONE OF THESE
FOOTBALL GAMES.
I'M NOT AT THE GAME.
I'M WITH YOU GUYS.
PLUS, I JUST LIKE
TO WATCH HER JUMP AROUND.
COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND
YEAH, RIGHT.
[ Imitates
Whip Cracking ]
[ Continues Imitating Whip ]
RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!
WILL YOU SHUT UP!
MAN,
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
EAST HIGHLAND
BEND AND SHAKE YOUR CABOOSE
- WHOO! GO, EAST HIGHLAND!
- COME ON, EAST HIGHLAND!
- COME ON!
- COME ON, PEOPLE.
- GUYS?
- HELLO?
[ Players ] ONE!
[ Coach ] ONE, TWO, THREE!
- TWO!
- ONE, TWO, THREE!
[ Grunts ]
GUYS, THIS IS BULLSHIT.
WE HAVEN'T WON
A GAME IN FIVE YEARS.
WE MIGHT AS WELL FORFEIT.
WE'RE DEAD ANYWAY.
TEN-HUT!
HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND.
DEAD?
DID YOU SAY DEAD?
ALL THIS HOO-HA
ABOUT BEING DEAD
AND NOT WANTING TO FIGHT...
AND STAYING OU OF THE GAME...
IS A LOAD OF CRAP!
DID WE GIVE UP
WHEN PEARL HARBOR WAS BOMBED?
I THOUGHT THAT MOVIE
MADE MONEY.
WE DIDN'T GIVE UP THEN,
AND WE'RE NO GONNA GIVE UP NOW!
AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
TRADITIONALLY LOVE TO FIGHT.
ALL REAL FOOTBALL PLAYERS
LOVE THE STING OF BATTLE!
THE ONLY THING
WE HAVE TO FEAR IS--
- [ Mutters ] I DON'T KNOW.
- FEAR ITSELF.
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU PEOPLE?
WHERE'S THE HUNGER?
WHERE IS
THE SCHOOL SPIRIT?
WASHINGTON HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
LINCOLN HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
HARDIN HIGH?
WE'RE GONNA BEAT 'EM.
YES!
LET'S DO IT!
LET'S... DO IT!
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Whinnies ]
GO!
THAT'S MY GODDAMN HORSE.
HIT 'EM HIGH!
HIT 'EM LOW!
[ All ] HIKE!
- [ Singing ] YO
- HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM, G
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- WHAT YOU GON' DO
- HIT 'EM HIGH
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
- HIT 'EM LOW
- HIT 'EM,
HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM, HIT 'EM
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- YES!
- TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN!
YES! HOW ABOUT THAT,
HIGHLANDER FANS?
THAT'S OUR FIRST VICTORY SINCE
THE LAST BUSH WAS PRESIDENT!
- [ Bell Tolling ]
- WE WON A GAME!
WE WON A GAME!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
WE ACTUALLY WON A GAME!
WHOO!
[ Dizzy ] GO, HIGHLAND!
DANIELLE,
WHAT THE HELL'S GOIN' ON?
YOU'RE INSANE.
BUT THANK YOU.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
HOW'D YOU LEARN
HOW TO SAY YOU'RE WELCOME?
FROM THE ONLY OTHER PERSON
IN THE ALBANIAN CHAT ROOM.
OH, WHAT, YOU'RE IMPRESSED
'CAUSE THIS GUY
SHOWED UP ON A HORSE?
NO, I'M IMPRESSED
BECAUSE HE SHOWED UP FOR ME.
LET'S GO.
SHE JUST DISSED YOU
AGAIN.
DUDE, DO YOU EVER
SHUT UP?
MOST GUYS WOULDN'T BE
CAUGHT DEAD SHOPPING.
WELL,
I'M NOT MOST GUYS.
YOU DID SAY SWIMSUITS,
RIGHT?
[ Singing ] YEAH
- UH-HUH
- TELL ME THA YOU WANT IT LISTEN
TELL ME
CAN YOU HANDLE I SHOW ME
HOW YOU WORK THEM HIPS
- AND MAYBE
YOU CAN GO GET I - UH-HUH
- UH-HUH
- I KNOW THAT YOU WANT I TELL ME CAN YOU HANDLE I - SHOW ME HOW
YOU'RE WORKIN' I - HOW YOU'RE WORKIN' I AND MAYBE
YOU CAN GO GET I GIRL, YOU MESSED UP
WHEN YOU LET ME IN
TOLD YOUR BEST FRIEND
THAT YOU WANTED ME
THEN SHE CALLED ME UP
AND HIPPED ME TO YOUR STEEZ
TOLD ME YOU WERE LOOKIN'
FOR A GUY LIKE ME
SO I SAID HOLD ON,
I AIN'T THE ONE
UNLESS SHORTY
REALLY WANNA HAVE SOME FUN
THEN SHE SAID
THAT YOU TOLD HER
I WAS WHAT YOU WAN - WHEN I CALL
YOU DON'T TRY TO FRON - COME ON
I'M THE GUY IN YOUR DREAM
THAT YOU HAD LAST NIGH I'M THE BENZ
WITH THE TWENTIES
THAT YOU WANNA DRIVE
I'M THA THUG IN YOUR LIFE
THAT'LL TREAT YOU RIGHT
GOT YA HOOKED 'COZ I'M
BRINGING EVERYTHING YOU LIKE
UH-HUH
I KNOW THAT YOU
WANT IT LISTEN
TELL ME
CAN YOU HANDLE I SHOW ME HOW
YOU WORK THEM HIPS
- AND MAYBE
WE CAN ROLL WIT I - UH-HUH
- I KNOW THA YOU WANT IT LISTEN
- UH-HUH
- TELL ME CAN YOU HANDLE I - UH-HUH
SHOW ME
HOW YOU'RE WORKIN' IT
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I BEEN IN PRISON A LONG TIME.
NOW, THIS
IS REAL MUSIC.
SO, YOU'RE SAYING
IF I LISTEN TO ALL THIS,
I'LL GET YOU?
THAT'S WHA I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT,
DANIELLE.
I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN.
OH.
HEY, EMILY.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
UH, GREAT.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
GREAT.
UH, HEY, DO YOU HAVE
THE NEW CREED CD?
YEAH.
I-I'LL CHECK FOR YOU.
[ Sighs ]
- WHO WAS THAT?
- EMILY.
WE USED TO BE FRIENDS
WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER.
OH?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.
I STARTED DATING CONNER.
YOU KNOW HOW THINGS GO.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE
WHO WOULD DROP YOUR FRIENDS.
[ Clerk ]
ALL RIGHT, TIME TO GO.
- I'M SHOPPING HERE!
- YOU'RE NOT SHOPPING.
YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING
TO THIS SAME
SONG FOR SIX HOURS.
YOU'RE SQUATTING!
LISTEN, BRO,
I'VE HAD A BAD DAY.
SO SQUAT ON THIS,
PUKE FACE!
THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE TOSSED.
SETH, YOU'RE NO A BOUNCER ANYMORE.
YOU'VE MOVED UP.
COME ON, MAN.
WHO CAN TOSS HER
BETTER THAN ME?
RELAX.
COME ON, MAN!
I'M SICK OF THIS!
- DIZ! YOU MADE IT!
-[ Glen ] PERFECT TIMING!
MAN, I WAS STARTING TO THINK
YOU NEVER CHECK
THE E.Q.
MESSAGE BOARDS ANYMORE.
GIL, DO YOU KNOW
THESE PEOPLE?
UH, NO.
LET'S GO.
[ P.A. System: Feedback ]
IF ANYONE'S LOS A PAIR OF BALLS,
WE HAVE FOUND THEM.
WAIT, THERE'S A NAME HERE.
DIZZY HARRISON, PLEASE PICK
YOUR BALLS UP. AND SCROTUM.
THAT'S BALLS AND SCROTUM
AT COUNTER FIVE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE ALL THESE.
THAT'S MYMICROPHONE!
- OH, NO!
- WAIT! NO!
AAAH!
[ Blow Lands ]
HARRIS,
GET YOUR PUNK ASS IN HERE!
[ Sobbing ]
COLONEL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU STOLE MY HORSE,
MAGGOT!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THE PENALTY
IS IN THIS STATE
FOR STEALING
ANOTHER MAN'S HORSE?
DEATH?
THIS ISN'T IRAQ, SON.
BUT I CAN TELL YOU
THERE'S PROBABLY A HEFTY FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
IT'S A BILL FOR
MANURE CLEANUP,
RESODDING THE FOOTBALL FIELD,
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF,
SOMEBODY URINATED ALL OVER
MRS. CAMPANELLA'S ROSE GARDEN.
UH, THAT WAS ME, SIR.
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW
SOMETHING ELSE?
[ Heartbeat pounding]
IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!
COME HERE!
COME HERE!
THAT WAS OUR FIRST VICTORY
IN FIVE YEARS,
AND IT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF YOU!
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN
MY OWN GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN' SON.
SIT DOWN.
TAKE A LOAD OFF.
WE GOT A PROBLEM.
WE GOT A HOMECOMING DANCE
COMING UP.
IT HAS BEEN THE MOST...
...GOD-AWFUL EXPERIENCE
FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.
RIGHT, COACH?
I MEAN, AAH-H-H-H!
YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS
HOW WE MIGHT TURN
THIS THING AROUND?
- GOOD MUSIC?
- MUSIC!
HEY, THAT IS
A FANTASTIC IDEA, SON.
YOU SEE THAT?
HEY!
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC?
THE ONLY MUSIC
WORTH BEING CALLED MUSIC.
I'M TALKIN' 'BOU THE FUNK.
[ Singing ] OHH, YEAH
WHO
MR. BIG STUFF
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
- MR. BIG STUFF
- [ Sighs ]
YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA GET MY LOVE
HELLO? SINGING?
WHO ARE WE KIDDING?
WE CAN'T PLAY FUNK
- WITHOUT A BASS LINE. HEY.
- OR BLACK GUYS.
WE'LL FIND SOMEONE.
WE DON'T NEED DIZ.
OH, YOU DON'T?
SO SOMEBODY ELSE
IS GETTING YOU PAYING GIGS.
WE'RE HEADLINING AT HOMECOMING
TWO WEEKS FROM TONIGHT.
- IS SOMEONE TALKING TO US?
- I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
IT WAS DIZ.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
LOOK, I WAS AN ASSHOLE
AT THE MALL.
A WORLD-CLASS ASSHOLE.
THEY'RE SCOUTING ME
FOR ASSHOLE OLYMPICS.
I'M CARRYING THE TORCH.
[ Chuckling ]
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
I'M SORRY.
I GOT NO GOOD EXCUSE
FOR WHAT I DID.
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING THE BIG BULL.
YOU'RE
THE BIG BULLSHIT.
GIL'S THE BIG BULL.
- YEAH, BUT THAT'S ME.
- IS IT?
SO WHAT MAKES YOU ANY
DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER
HIGH SCHOOL THUG
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME?
I KNOW IT'S BEEN
A LONG ROAD
TO GET THESE TOWNS
BEHIND ME
AND I
WILL GLADLY REAP
WHAT WE MAY SOW
I AM THERE FOR YOU
AND YOU'RE THERE FOR ME
I STOPPED BELIEVING
A LONG TIME AGO
- QUIT IT.
- IT WASN'T ME.
- THEN WHO WAS IT?
- HIM.
HI, GUYS.
ED LIGGETT. TUBA.
THE MARCHING BAND'S
COLLECTING BOTTLES AND CANS
FOR THE HOMELESS,
IRONICALLY, TAKING AWAY THE
ONLY JOB THE HOMELESS HAVE.
ANY DONATION WOULD BE
GREATLY APPRECIATED.
HEY, BUDDY, YOU KNOW
WHAT THE HOMELESS NEED?
A MIDGET.
WHY WOULD THE HOMELESS
NEED A MIDGET?
SHUT UP.
HEY! QUIT IT!
[ Shrieks ]
[ All Laughing ]
[ Shrieking Continues ]
- WHAT A THROW.
- [ Shrieking Continues ]
LITTLE ED,
ARE YOU OKAY?
Y-YEAH.
I'M FROM A RODEO FAMILY.
YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME.
COME ON.
INTO THIS MORNING LIGH [ Continues ]
WHAT'S GIL DOING?
HE'S TAKING HIM UP THE TOWER.
ED LIGGETT'S GONNA GE HIS LITTLE ASS KICKED.
ANOTHER DAY
ARE YOU WAITING FOR
HEART IN HAND
WHO IS THA LITTLE DUDE?
SEE ME WHERE I STAND
HEY, CONNER,
WHAT DID ED EVER DO TO YOU?
HEART IN HAND
HEART IN HAND
- IT'S ALL FOR A WOMAN
- [ All Gasp ]
ALL RIGHT, FREAK.
[ Spits ]
WE DON'T CALL PEOPLE
THAT HERE.
[ Continues ]
DANIELLE.
[ Ed ] SHE'S GOING DOWN THERE
WITH THE GEEKS.
- EMILY.
- DANIELLE.
LOOK, EMILY--
I KNOW.
[ Giggles ]
[ Applause, Cheering ]
YOU BACKED HIM
INSTEAD OF ME.
CAUGHT THAT, DID YOU?
THIS IS BULLSHIT, DANIELLE.
MY GIRLFRIEND'S SUPPOSED
TO BACK MEUP.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
SHOULD BACK YOU UP.
- FIND ONE.
- [ Students Gasp ]
I DON'T NEED YOU.
I COULD HAVE ANYONE.
LOOK, MAN,
I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY
ME AND THE GUYS
PISSED IN YOUR TUBA.
- YOU DID?
- YEAH.
I THOUGH IT TASTED FUNNY.
LOVE TO SEE YOU WHIP I SURE COULD TREAT YOU RIGH GIVE ME JUST A MINUTE
OF YOUR TIME TONIGH WE'RE BOTH HERE
TO HAVE SOME FUN
[ Continues ]
WELL, THAT'S ANOTHER WIN
FOR THE HIGHLANDERS.
MARK'S GONNA
HELP YOU PASS TRIG.
HEY.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME,
DO YOU?
"STOP, PLEASE.
YOUR ASS IS CRUSHING MY HEAD"?
- OH! WAS THAT YOU?
- ME.
[ Grunts ]
[ Announcer ]
HIGHLAND WINS AGAIN!
WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT RIGH WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT ALL NIGHT
WHAT'S YOUR TRIP, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
[ Continues ]
HEY, COURTNEY,
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO A FEW OLD BUDDIES OF MINE.
HI, I'M... HAWK.
AND I'M...
APACHE.
- YEAH, HAWK, APACHE AND I--
- SPENT TIME IN
PRISON TOGETHER.
MOSTLY
IN THE SHOWER.
[ Continues ]
[ Announcer ] CAN'T YOU JUS SMELL THE PLAY-OFFS?
BEFORE I MET GIL...
I PROBABLY WOULD'VE JUS LOOKED AT YOU WITH DISGUS AND WALKED AWAY.
WIGGLING MY ASS JUST SO
YOU'D KNOW WHA YOU WERE MISSING.
YEAH, WELL,
THE UNIVERSE IS UPSIDE-DOWN.
AND IN A FEW MINUTES
YOU WILL BE TOO.
OOOH-OOH-OOH, LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY
- WHIP IT RIGH - LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY
WHIP IT ALL NIGH LET IT WHIP
GO ON, WHIP, GO ON, WHIP
LET'S WHIP IT, BABY CHILD,
LET'S WHIP IT RIGHT [ Grunts ]
LET'S WHIP IT, BABY
LET'S WHIP IT ALL NIGH WELL, WHAT'S YOUR TRIP.
NO, NO, CH--
HEY, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND
THIS SONG, A'RIGHT?
AAAAH!
COME ON, WHIP
COME ON, WHIP
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- YEAH!
- WHIP IT RIGH - AAAH!
- WHIP IT BABY,
WHIP IT ALL NIGH - WHOO!
[ Roars ]
THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE
YOU'RE THE ONE I CHOOSE
YOU'RE THE RIGHT ONE
TO CHOOSE, WHOO-HOO
GUYS! HEY, BABY!
LET IT WHIP
WHIP IT, BABY, WHIP IT RIGH - TOUCHDOWN!
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT ALL NIGH - SUCH A TRIP
- NO, NO, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
- COME ON,
WHIP, COME ON, WHIP
- GO, DANNY!
- DANCE, DANNY, DANCE!
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT RIGHT
- LET IT WHIP
- WHIP IT,
BABY WHIP IT ALL NIGH - SUCH A TRIP
- NO, NO, CHILD
LET IT WHIP
[ Announcer ] UNBELIEVABLE!
WE'RE GOING TO
THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!
[ Gunshot ]
[ Announcer ] THE HIGHLANDERS
ARE ON FIRE!
WHOA.
A LITTLE SPILL.
REMEMBER--
TURN, DON'T BURN.
SON, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WHEN YOU GO
OFF TO COLLEGE,
ME AND THIS HOUSE
ROLL WITH YOU.
DAD, DO NOT--
I REPEAT,
DO NOT DO THAT.
[ Shrieking ]
JUST ROLL AROUND, DAD.
- YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
- [ Shrieking Continues ]
- WE'RE CLOSED.
- HEY, IT'S OKAY.
HE'S WITH ME.
ANDALE.
WELL, I SPENT A LIFETIME
LOOKIN' FOR YOU
[ Continues ]
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
IT'S THE BEST PAR ABOUT WORKING AT THIS PLACE.
I GET TO RIDE THE BULL
FOR FREE.
AND I GET A LOT OF GOOD TIPS
FOR WEARING
A BANDANNA AS A SHIRT.
WATCH IT, HOODLUM.
THAT'S ESTELLE.
- SHE MUST LIKE YOU.
- HI, ESTELLE.
- OHH!
- HI.
DON'T MIND ESTELLE.
SHE'S LIKE MY BIG SISTER.
SHE WORRIES.
WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY
BE WORRIED ABOUT?
THAT I'LL END UP LIKE MY MOM.
WORKING THE DAY SHIFT HERE
AND RAISING
THREE KIDS BY MYSELF.
I DIDN'T KNOW
ALL THAT.
WELL, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK
OF ALL THE WHITE TRASH CLICHES
WELL,
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
YOU'RE NOT? THAT'S A RELIEF.
- YOU WANT A PAD?
- FOR WHAT?
- [ Groaning ]
- ESTELLE!
[ Grunting ]
LOOK... DANIELLE...
IF I CAN DO WHAT I'VE DONE,
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
- I WISH I HAD
THE CONFIDENCE YOU HAVE.
- DON'T EVER WISH THAT.
WHY? YOU KNOW
EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
[ Continues Grunting
] BUT YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO I AM, DANIELLE.
BEFORE I CAME
TO EAST HIGHLAND--
HEY!
[ Groans ]
YOU GET GOOD DISTANCE
WITH THE SKINNY ONES.
GIL, ARE YOU OKAY?
THAT'S JUST IT.
I'M NOT--
HERMANO!
- THEY KILLED PACO!
- PACO?
PACO!
AH, PACO.
- UM, AMIGO GRANDE.
- SI!
LAS ARANAS NEGRAS.
BLACK SPIDERS.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
HEY.
DANIELLE,
SEE THIS TATTOO?
I DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT.
THERE'S SOME THINGS ABOUT ME
THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU,
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
GIL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
ANYTHING YOU DID IN YOUR PAST,
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT NOW.
BUT I'M REALLY DIZZY.
[ Chuckles ]
SO AM I.
- [ Whip Cracks ]
- SHE'S GOING
TO COLLEGE, PUNK.
HEY, LADY,
NOBODY'S STOPPING HER.
THAT'S A BUZZKILL.
GOOD NIGHT, ESTELLE.
SO, YOU READY
FOR STATE FINALS TOMORROW?
HEY, ALL I DO IS RIDE A HORSE.
YEAH, WELL, I'M WORRIED.
THOSE DRILLERS CAN BE BRUTAL.
THE DRILLERS?
YEAH. ROCKY CREEK HIGH.
YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?
I DO.
UM, LOOK, DANIELLE, UH--
I CAN'T GO TO THAT GAME.
I HATE THAT SCHOOL.
HOW CAN YOU NOT COME?
IT'S COMPLICATED.
I HATE THAT SCHOOL TOO,
BUT IF YOU DON' SHOW UP NOBODY WILL.
PLEASE DON'T BAIL NOW.
[ Announcer ] LET'S WELCOME
OUR UNDEFEATED...
- STATE CHAMPIONS,
- YEAH! DRILLERS!
- THE ROCKY CREEK DRILLERS,
- [ Crowd Cheering ]
AND THEIR OPPONENTS,
FROM EAST HIGHLAND HIGH,
[ Haltingly ]
THE HIGHLANDERS.
[ Cheering Stops ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THOSE KILT-WEARIN' WUSSIES
AREN'T GONNA SHOW UP.
[ Bagpipes, Faint ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
HOLD!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, I'M AN OUTSIDER
OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
I'M AN OUTSIDER
OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
- [ Continues ]
- [ Whinnies ]
[ Bagpipes Squeaking ]
EVERYTHING YOU KNOW
EVERYTHING YOU KNO-O-OW
- [ Continues ]
- COME ON!
GO! GO! HURRY! GO! GO!
I'M AN OUTSIDER
- OUTSIDE OF EVERYTHING
- [ Whistle Blows ]
[ Marching Band ]
[ Announcer ] MY, OH, MY!
WHAT A MIRACULOUS,
MOMENTOUS OCCASION...
IN HIGHLANDER HISTORY,
SPORTS FANS!
WITH JUST EIGHT TICKS
LEFT ON THE CLOCK,
THE SCORE IS TIED 24-ALL.
THE DRILLERS HAVE THE BALL
ON THE 50-YARD LINE
AND THERE'S ONLY TIME
FOR ONE LAST PLAY.
IF THE HIGHLANDERS
CAN STOP THE DRILLERS,
WE'RE LOOKING AT OVERTIME!
WHO'S THAT LITTLE DUDE?
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ Twins Shouting ]
LET'S GO, HIGHLAND!
[ Twins Shouting ]
LET'S GO, HIGHLAND!
THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAY
FOR TEXAS 5-A FOOTBALL...
SINCE BACK IN '93
WHEN JOHNSON KILLED KENNEDY!
[ Marching Band Continues ]
[ Chanting ]
R.C.! R.C.!
COME ON, HIGHLAND!
- YEAH!
- YEAH!
- YEAH! YEAH!
- HIGHLAND!
[ Both ]
HIGHLAND! YEAH!
DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
THEIR TEAM ISN'T KILLING US,
THEIR FANS ARE!
- WHOO!
- WHOO!
GET YOUR HEADS IN THE GAME
AND LET'S CONCENTRATE!
YO, MAN,
WE GOTTA SPLIT LEFT.
QUICK TOSS 29 ON ONE. ON ONE.
DUNCAN GETS THE BALL.
NO WAY, ASSHOLE.
NOT DUNCAN.
MY TEAM, MY GAME,
MY CHAMPIONSHIP, MY BALL!
JUST DO YOUR JOB.
I'LL DO THE REST.
WATCH THE BACK!
WATCH THE BACK!
RED 71 DOWN!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
YEAH!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
GO, ROCKY CREEK!
WHOO! ROCKY!
AAH!
GO ON,
GET OUTTA HERE, ROCKY CREEK!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
[ Crowd Joins In Chanting ]
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
DEFENSE!
[ Horse Whinnying ]
[ Crowd Chanting ]
DEFENSE!
DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE!
- [ Announcer ] FUMBLE!
- [ Crowd Gasping, Shouting ]
WHOO!
WHOA!
[ Announcer ]
HIGHLAND WINS!
- [ Horse Whinnying ]
- GO, HIGHLAND! GO, HIGHLAND!
THIS IS FOR YOU, SON.
THANK YOU.
GO, HIGHLAND!
WHOO!
NO-O-O-O-O!
IS THAT--
[ Cheering Continues ]
8: 00 WEDNESDAY NIGH AND I'M WAITIN'
TO FINALLY TALK TO A GIRL
A LITTLE COOLER THAN ME
HER NAME IS NOVA
SHE'S A ROCKER
WITH A NOSE RING
SHE WEARS A TWO-WAY
BUT I'M NOT QUITE SURE
WHAT THAT MEANS
- HELLO-- WHOA!
- AND WHEN SHE WALKS
OH, THE WIND BLOWS
- AND THE ANGELS SING
- HI!
SHE DOESN'T NOTICE ME--
-[ Off ]
-HEY!
HEY, DIZZY DIPSHIT!
- [ All Murmuring ]
- WHERE ARE YOU?
YO, DIPSHIT!
HOW YOU DOIN', BUDDY?
- HOW'S IT GOIN', BARCLAY?
- WHO IS THIS GUY, GIL?
JUST AN OLD FRIEND.
ANY FRIEND OF GIL'S
IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
-I'M TRAVIS.
-LONNIE.
PETE.
ED LIGGETT, TUBA.
HOW YOU DOIN', MAN?
[ Shrieks ]
BETTER NOW.
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
- SO I TOSSED A FREAK.
EXCUSE ME, BUT WE DISCOURAGE
NAME-CALLING AROUND HERE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU STOLE MY
STATE CHAMPIONSHIP,
ASSHOLE!
AGAIN, LET ME REMIND YOU,
IF YOU MUST TALK LIKE THA I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
OH, I'M LEAVING...
AS SOON AS I TELL YOU
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR LEADER.
WE KNOW HE WAS IN PRISON
. WE FORGIVE HIM.
PRISON? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY BOY,
THAT DOESN'T FLY AROU--
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
BACK IT UP.
THIS IS MY FIGHT.
OH, BABY, COME ON.
MAKE MY DAY.
- GET HIM!
- [ All Yelling ]
- [ Barclay Screaming ]
- [ Fabric Tearing ]
I'M GONNA GO WILD
ON YOUR ASS!
- TAKE THIS! AND THIS!
- [ Barclay Screams ]
[ Fabric Tearing ]
SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN 'CAUSE SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS WAN 'CAUSE SHE'S THE GIRL
ALL THE BAD GUYS
[ Groans ]
I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.
[ Rock ]
DIZ, SOMEBODY SPREAD THE WORD
ABOUT OUR BAND.
HELLO.
I THINK THAT WAS US.
BUT HALF OF ROCKY
CREEK IS OUT THERE.
WHAT? HOW DID THEY HEAR?
- HEY, GUYS. CHECK THIS OUT.
- "CREED"?
WHAT IDIO WOULD FALL FOR THIS?
THERE'S A CAFETERIA MENU
ON THE OTHER SIDE.
HEY, ANYBODY KNOW
WHERE THE V.I.P. ROOM IS?
EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
HELLO.
THANK YOU.
[ Microphone Feedback ]
- WHO DID THAT? QUIET.
- HEY, FAT ASS!
UH, HI.
UH, WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
I'D LIVE TO SEE US WIN
THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP.
[ Cheering ]
QUIET!
UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
SUBURBAN FUNK.
WE CAN DO THIS.
HEY, DO IT NOW
YEAH, HEY
ONCE I WAS
A BOOGIE SINGER
PLAYIN' IN
A ROCK AND ROLL BAND
[ Nora ] I NEVER HAD
NO PROBLEMS, NO
BURNIN' DOWN
THE ONE-NIGHT STAND
AND I DECIDED QUICKLY
YES, I DID
TO DISCO DOWN
AND CHECK OUT THE SHOW
AND THEY WERE DANCIN'
AND SINGIN'
AND MOVIN'
TO THE GROOVIN'
AND JUST WHEN IT HIT ME
SOMEBODY TURNED AROUND
AND SHOUTED
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
WHITE BOY
- PLAY THA FUNKY MUSIC RIGH - YEAH
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
WHITE BOY
LAY DOWN THE BOOGIE
AND PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
TILL YOU DIE
- [ Stops ]
- [ Equipment Feedback ]
[ Conner ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CREED...
WILL NOT BE HERE TONIGHT--
REPEAT,
WILL NOT BE HERE TONIGHT.
AND DROP CURTAIN.
CUE.
[ Whimpering ] MRS. WHITMAN,
IT'S MY, UM-- MY P--
[ Mrs.
Whitman ] IT'S MINE NOW!
NO, MRS.-- YOU'RE--
- [ Cracks ]
- [ All Gasp ]
YO, EAST HIGHLAND,
YOU KNOW GIL HARRIS.
[ Cheering ]
HEY, ROCKY CREEK,
YOU REMEMBER DIZ HARRISON.
- [ Muffled Yelling ]
- [ Barclay ]
GUESS WHAT, FOLKS.
GIL AND DIZ
ARE THE SAME GUY.
[ Students Murmuring ]
[ Barclay ] HE MADE FOOLS
OF ALL OF YOU.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
ASK HIM YOURSELF.
MAYBE FOR ONCE
HE'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
[ All Shouting ]
THIS SUCKS! WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HEY, HEY, HEY!
- NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
UM, LOOK, I CAN EXPLAIN.
[ Booing, Shouting ]
[ Whistle Blows ]
- BOO!
- [ Shouting Continues ]
[ All Gasp,
Shouting Stops ]
- LET THE BROTHER SPEAK.
- LUTHER!
IT'S NOT JUST LUTHER.
SPIDERS.
YOU PLAY
MY KIND OF MUSIC.
- [ Feedback ]
- HEY! [ Chuckles ]
HEY, RED.
OUT OF THE WAY, RED.
- I BEEN IN
THE PEN QUITE A WHILE.
- [ Whimpering ]
EVERYTHING YOU SAW
ON THAT SCREEN...
WAS COMPLETELY TRUE.
- [ Gasping, Murmuring ]
- [ Giggling ]
THEY'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LIAR.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I DOKNOW
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
- [ Sniffing ]
- I WAS TRYING TO BECOME...
SOMETHING MORE THAN JUS A BLIP ON THE RADAR SCREEN.
SO I MADE SOMEONE UP.
SOMEONE I THOUGH YOU'D ALL LIKE.
AND ALL BECAUSE...
I CARED MORE ABOUT WHA OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME...
THAN ABOU WHAT ITHOUGHT OF ME.
[ Sniffling ]
BUT I'D BE - I'M NO THE ONLY PERSON HERE...
- HOLD ME, BABY.
WHO'S EVER LET THAT HAPPEN.
WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?
- [ Murmuring Continues ]
- BROKE DICK!
- BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
- BROKE DICK!
[ Conner, Barclay, Crowd ]
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!
YOU'D BETTER COME
SCOOP UP YOUR FRIEND.
- [ Shotgun Cocks ]
- MOVE IT!
[ Students Continue
Shouting ]
ANYBODY GO A STAPLE GUN?
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
DIZ! OH, MY GOD!
YOU'RE BLEEDING.
- MY NOSE!
- THE CROWD OUT THERE,
THEY'RE ANIMALS.
NO, ANIMALS ARE KINDER.
THEY DON'T BOO
WHEN THEY'RE
KILLING SOMETHING.
OW! OW.
DIZ, YOU ARE AMAZING.
- YOU CAME ALONG
AND STOLE MY HEAR - WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
- CAN'T I APPRECIATE YOU?
- WHEN YOU ENTERED MY LIFE
YOU'RE SCARING ME.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
YOU INSPIRE ME.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR
THE LONGEST TIME.
I HAVE TO LET SOMEBODY KNOW
HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM.
- I WANT YOU
- UM,
YOU KNOW, NORA, I CAN'T--
[ Grunting, Moaning ]
BETTER THAN PLAYSTATION 2?
NOW IT IS.
YO, I GUESS
IT'S ME AND YOU, MAN.
- AND US.
- AND US.
AND ME.
[ Grunting,
Moaning Continues ]
WOULD YOU TWO
GET A ROOM?
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO CALL YOU.
BROKE DICK
SEEMS TO BE POPULAR.
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST LIAR
I'VE EVER MET.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M A LIAR.
[ Danielle Sighs ]
YOU KNOW, THEY CALLED ME
DAN THE MAN.
- WHAT?
- YEAH.
OF COURSE, THAT WAS BEFORE
I LOST THE BRACES
AND GREW MY BOOBS.
THEN I BECAME
DANIELLE THE BODY.
I DROPPED ALL
THE FRIENDS I EVER HAD
BECAUSE THEY LOOKED
LIKE THE OLD ME.
VERY SELFISH AND MEAN,
BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED
SO BADLY TO FIT IN.
BEEN THERE.
DO YOU EVEN RIDE
THE MOTORCYCLE?
YEAH, ACTUALLY, I DO.
BUT IT USUALLY
TAKES A STATION WAGON
OR A BUSH TO STOP ME.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
DON'T ASK ME.
THE LAST PLAN I HAD
BLEW UP PRETTY BADLY.
YEAH, NO KIDDIN'.
[ Speaks Albanian ]
[ Students Laughing ]
[ Both Grunting ]
SO, YOU SEE,
I SAVED HIS NARROW BEHIND...
AND HE GOT TO KISS THE GIRL.
I HOPE THAT INSPIRES YOU.
IT HAS.
IT'S TAUGHT ME A LOT.
IT'S EASY FOR
A MAN LIKE MYSELF
TO FORGET WHAT MOST POOR SLOBS
WILL DO TO GET A WOMAN.
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
MY FAULT.
I TALK TOO MUCH.
[ Bleep ] THAT REALLY DID
BURN ME. SORRY.
NOBODY CARES
'CAUSE I'M ALONE
IN THE WORLD AND
- NOBODY WANTS TO BE ALONE...
- OH, GOD.
- YOU OKAY?
- THAT ONE CLIPPED IT, DUDE.
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
I'M JUST A KID
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
NOBODY CARES 'CAUSE I'M ALONE
AND THE WORLD IS
HAVING MORE FUN
- THAN ME.
-THAT'S WHY I WANT TO USE YOU.
[ Crew Laughing ]
AND MAYBE WHEN
THE NIGHT IS DEAD
I'LL CRAWL INTO MY BED
[ Continues ]
- YOU STARIN' AT MY JANET?
- NO. NO WAY, MAN.
SHALL WE DO THAT AGAIN?
' CAUSE YOU
COULDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE [ Bleep ] I SAID.
[ Garbled Nonsense ]
- CUT.
- I'M SORRY. THAT SUCKED.
HERE ON MY OWN
AND HERE IT GOES
I'M JUST A KID
AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
I'M JUST A KID
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
- MAN, LOOK AT THAT!
-OHH!
[ All Yelling ]
DON'T GIVE THEM MERCY--
OH, GOD, I BLEW THE LINE.
CHECK ME OUT!
BAT WINGS! WHOO!
- WHOA!
- CUT! CUT!
IT'S THE WORST NIGHT EVER
YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? I NEED
THREE GALLONS
OF MINERAL WATER.
I NEED ABOUT 16
MARTINI OLIVES.
AND I NEED ENOUGH HUMMUS
TO COVER THIS BEAUTIFUL
GIRL'S ENTIRE BODY.
- YOU GOT THAT?
- [ Whimpers ]
[ Together ]
WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?
HEY, MAN,
YOU GOT A SMOKE, MAN?
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR
NOBODY CARES 'CAUSE I'M ALONE
IN THE WORLD TONIGH HOW YOU DOING?
[ Grunts ]
- BETTER NOW.
- OOH!
OKAY, CUT!
[ Whinnies ]
[ Funk ]
UH-OH!
UH-OH!
[ Grunts,
Rapping ] YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
-DO YA.
-NO.
BUT I BET YOU RECOGNIZE ME
WHEN I START TO BRING IT TO YA
I AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE
AND THIS IS WHAT I MISS
IT'S A LITTLE
DIFFERENT OUT HERE
THAT'S PROBABLY
WHY THEY WATCH ME
DON'T WORRY
WHEN I FINISH WITH
THE MUMBLE MAKE 'EM JOCK ME
YOU CAN'T HELP
YOU CAN'T STOP ME
YO KNOW YOU CAN'T STOP ME
'CAUSE I'M SWINGIN' LIKE ROCKY
YOU CAN SNAP THOSE TWO FEE THE GIRLS GOT TO BE BOMB
THEY CALLIN' ME NEW MEA WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS LADY
BUT IF YOU REALLY WANNA
GRAB HOLD OF ME, BABY
SHE'LL SAY, "OH, NO"
UNTIL I SHOW HER ATTENTION
SAY, "OH, LORD"
DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW
I'LL BE KNOCKIN' OUT THE SIDE
THAT AIN'T HARD
FOR THE NEW GUY
YOU DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GON' HIT IT, HUH
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
CLEAN UP YOUR AC AND CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES
DID YOU GET I DON'T SEE YOU NO MORE
DON'T COME AROUND HERE
UNLESS YOU'RE DOIN'
WHAT I'M DOIN' TO
THE MAN RIGHT HERE
YOU CAN PRACTICE
TILL YOU GET TIGH YOU CAN STAND IN FRON OF THE MIRROR ALL NIGH TILL YOU GET IT RIGH TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YA
WOULDN'T HAVE NO SOUL
BUT AN AFRO COMB TO YA
ABOUT TO TEACH YA
HOW TO TALK
GOTTA MOVE YOUR LEGS 'FORE
THE SISTER SHOW
YOU HOW TO ROLL
DIP A LITTLE BI MOVE YOUR NECK
'CAUSE YOU PROBABLY COULDN' CATCH A RHYTHM IN A NE YOU'RE ALL BEA WITH NO STANCE
CAN'T SING, CAN'T DANCE
CAN'T JUMP
'CAUSE YOU OFF BALANCE
GOTTA LISTEN TO THE GROOVE
THAT'S IF YOU
EVER COULD CALL
YOURSELF NEW AND IMPROVED
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
TELL ME WHO YOU KNOW WHO RAP
ALBUM FULL OF SINGLES
WE'RE READY TO PLAY
'CAN'T SING MY JINGLE
YOUR MAMA TELL 'EM
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS
WHEN THE VIDEO COME ON
HEY, LET 'EM SING "DANGER"
THEY GO OUTSIDE
AND SHAKE A FEATHER
JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T BREAK I RHYMIN', SIGNIN'
BEHIND THE BEA SO IF YOU HEAR 'EM CURSIN'
DON'T BLAME IT ON ME
STAND ON STAGE
LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE LIGH A YOUNG BLACK RAPPER
I DO ALL RIGH AND YOU CAN FEEL THE KIDS
A-KICKIN' HIS SONGS
AND WHEN I'M ON THE MIKE
I CAN'T DO NO WRONG
I BREAK 'EM OFF
I DO MY THANG
TREND-SETTER CUTTIN' UP
AIN'T NOTHIN' GON' CHANGE
I TEAR DOWN A DISC
BREAK FOR TWO
AND NOW I'M PAYIN' MY DUES
I WISH THEY WOULD CALL ME NEW
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS
WATCH ME
PICK UP ON THIS
WIT' YO BAD SELF
GET UP ON THIS