The New Kids (1985) Movie Script

Oh, Jesus, Mac.
It's the middle of the night.
Come on, you guys, off and on!
Off your backs and on your feet!
Let's go, son. What's the matter?
You whack off too much last night?
Come on. You can't get strong
when you're lying down.
Rise and shine. On your feet.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Oh, no.
- Reveille, reveille.
Come on, come on, darling.
- Time to get up.
- No.
Are we gonna practice
with live ammo today, major?
Colonel now, sweetheart.
Remember that.
Keep that in the forefront
of that skull.
It means more greenbacks to buy
designer jeans for this sexy bod.
- Come on, let's go.
- I knew Army life had its advantages.
- Yeah. Up and out.
- No, it's cold.
How did we do, colonel?
How did we do? We did great.
Let's eat.
If you're gonna make it, kids,
you gotta be strong.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's a jungle out there.
- It's a jungle out there.
Listen up. Don't forget to water
the lawn, put out the garbage.
We'll be back
the day after tomorrow at 1300.
Don't forget to watch me
on TV tonight.
We won't.
- So you've got your orders?
- Yes.
Hold down the fort,
get good grades, don't screw off.
- Try to get a good night's sleep.
- You don't have to worry about that.
Because next week,
we're all gonna party. Okay?
Oh, and say hi
to the president for us.
- Will do.
- Bye, Mom.
- You be good.
- We're all real proud of you, Dad.
Thanks, Loren.
It's about time these
armchair bastards gave me this.
Okay, now, the only thing off-limit
in the fridge are the T-bones.
Here. I'll be disappointed
if you don't spend it all.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Okay.
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye.
- Have fun.
- Okay.
- Bye, grunts.
- Bye.
Bye, Dad.
Have fun, you guys.
Police were brought in to break up
the crowds, estimated at 2000.
Government officials called the
demonstrations "communist-inspired. "
It's not gonna happen.
They're not gonna show it.
Today, one of our own local boys...
- Hey, there it is.
- ... Colonel John MacWilliams...
... was presented with a special
presidential commendation for valor.
He single-handedly subdued
five hijackers on a Boeing 747...
... last October 14th.
MacWilliams negotiated for over
four hours with the terrorists...
... who threatened
to blow up the plane.
Shit, Jimmy, this is your date.
Yes, speaking.
- Is it her?
- What?
- Come on, is it her?
- Hold on. No, Jimmy, it's not her.
- 75 amazing missions
against terrorism.
He said he wished
to take this opportunity...
... to put the forces of tyranny
on alert.
"Let them think twice," he said...
Hold on a second.
Keep it down.
- Terrorism cannot...
- Shut up!
... and will not be tolerated.
And now, here's Bob Sherman
with the weather.
Both of them? You're sure?
What is it?
Man said Mac and Mom are dead.
Killed in a car crash.
You're brave kids.
- You're real brave.
- Thank you, Colonel Jenkins.
It's Mac's watch. I had it brought out
by special transport this morning.
Listen, come visit Jane and me
out in Tucson. We'd love to have you.
If there's anything we can do,
we want you to call us.
- We appreciate it.
- Remember, whatever you do...
...I'm with you and ready to help
in any way I can.
- Take care of yourself.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you for coming out.
- Thank you, Colonel Jenkins.
- Be good.
I'll try.
- Can I have it?
- What?
The watch.
- Yeah, sure.
- Loren?
- Uncle Charlie?
- Yeah.
- Loren.
- Howdy, Uncle Charlie.
I guess it's been quite a while,
hasn't it?
From now on, you'll see a lot of me.
I'm here to help.
- We don't want to be trouble.
- We're not talking trouble.
We're talking family now.
You know, your father and I...
...we were very close
when we were boys.
Did he ever tell you that?
I loved him.
That son of a bitch.
Hey, listen.
Uncle Charlie, he's not about
to let some dried-up prune...
...of a social worker put you
in some foster home. No way.
Not even close.
You know what I'm doing?
I'm taking you both to Florida
to live with me and your aunt Fay.
She's a wonderful woman,
your aunt Fay.
Wait till you see the place I got.
You're gonna love it.
Colonel Jenkins has already
made arrangements...
...for people at the base
to take care of the house...
...the luggage and all that stuff.
When you get off the bus in Florida,
I'll be there to meet you.
Hey, over here!
- How you doing?
- Okay. Welcome to Florida, kids.
Sorry I'm late. I got hung up.
- Hi, Abby.
- Hi.
- How you doing, Loren?
- Great. What a great car!
- Oh, thanks.
- What year is this?
My theory is, 1960
was the prime year of our country.
Kennedy was elected,
interest rates were 4 percent...
...and Elvis Presley
was singing "Now or Never. "
And no extravagance
was spared on this here vehicle.
Might not be New York City
or Miami down here...
...but it's got very strong points.
And we're gonna have a good time.
Great time together.
That's our sign there, kids.
Santa's Funland.
That's where we're headed.
Hi, darling.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hey, honey. Come on over here.
Look who I found.
Hi, kids. How are you?
Hi, sweetheart.
I'm glad you all are here.
- I'm Fay.
- My gal.
I'll get it.
Charlie, why don't you
show them around.
I haven't had a chance
to finish your room.
- We'll get to it later.
- We'll take care of it.
You hear that, honey?
I told you they were great kids.
Well, come on. Follow me.
Loren, look.
Chickens, ducks, geese.
We got it all.
This goat over here...
...her name is Henrietta.
She's pregnant.
This other goat over here,
her name's Helen.
And this calf here,
her name's Mathilda.
Go ahead. Introduce yourself.
Look at you.
- What's the rabbit's name?
- I don't believe she has a name.
- Hey, baby.
- What do you think she is?
Oh, Molly. Definitely a Molly.
How do you like it?
- Well, it's something.
- Yeah, well, I know it needs work.
It took every penny I had to get it,
but it's worth it.
A little spit, polish and sweat...
...I can see hundreds of people
ambling down these streets... in both hands.
Well, with Disney World and Epcot
a couple hours north...
...this will be the perfect place
for people to stop en route.
Little appetizer.
Now, consider this:
We're only 25 minutes away
from the third biggest interstate... the southern United States.
Now, do you have any idea
how many cars... that road each
and every single day?
- No, sir.
- Neither do I.
But you can bet it's plenty.
Any market researcher
could tell you that.
And every one of them
means money in our pockets.
Here's where you'll be staying.
I know it needs a little work.
It ain't exactly the Hilton, but...
- It'll be fine.
- Oh, good. Terrific. I'm glad.
God, you kids must be starving.
I'll get the grill going,
and we'll have ourselves...
...a little celebration
with burgers and dogs.
- Sure.
- All right.
- Oh, my God.
- Well, it could be worse.
- How?
- How?
We're supposed to sleep
in here together?
Yeah. Well, I'll rig up a curtain
or something. It'll be all right.
Well, like the man said,
it needs a little work.
Hey, Loren.
What do you think?
I think it needs a little work.
Very funny.
- Hi, beautiful.
- Come on, you're such a hot dog.
If X equals eight,
then Y must be equal to what?
Now, three times eight squared plus
one-half Y squared equals 264, right?
And three times 64 plus
one-half Y squared equals...
David, would you, please?
Thank you.
192 plus one-half Y squared
equals 264.
And one-half Y squared equals...
Would you kids, please?
Y squared equals 144, right?
What does Y equal?
Miss MacWilliams.
It's okay. Take your time.
Miss MacWilliams?
I can't say.
The answer is 12.
What was the matter? Didn't you think
that was the right answer?
I knew it was the right answer.
I bet it's tough coming
into a new school like this.
No, I'm used to it.
My dad was in the military... we moved around a lot.
- He died?
Both my parents died.
- Excuse me.
- I'm sorry.
Listen, thanks for trying
to help me out in class.
- Can I see you again?
- Sure.
- When?
- Tomorrow in algebra. Bye.
The mole is good for her, I think.
- Hey.
- How's everything going?
- Who's that?
- Don't worry. That's just her brother.
- I'll see you later. I gotta go to class.
- Okay. Bye.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, darling.
Hey, kid, come on.
- What?
- Don't cripple him, JoeBob.
I'm just kidding.
Watch your mouth, boy.
Come on, see if there's
some more fish in there, Gid.
Something bothering you, cousin?
No. Nothing ever bothers me.
Well, if I was you,
I wouldn't bet no money on that.
What chance does Pride have
against that brindle pit...
...coming up from Arkansas?
- Chance? Shit.
Gordo wouldn't put that dog in
if it wasn't gonna win.
- Set them up.
- You ever lost money on her, Dutra?
Not yet, and I better not.
Fuck, no, that's one hell of a dog,
that is.
Goddamn, Gordo, that wasn't funny!
- Shit, Gordo, you missed.
- Just go on, set them up.
I say we stage a little fight between
that new bitch at school and Moonie.
Where we gonna find anybody
who'd bet on the Moon?
Boy, I'd like to fuck her.
Oh, yeah. I'd spend a little time
on top of that.
Just a-pushing and a-pulling.
Take some doing, though,
getting in those pants.
- I could get her.
- Says who?
Says me and 50 bucks.
Me too. I could get her.
Fuck her black and blue.
Wanna put a little money on it, Gid?
Who can pop that little cherry?
Hell, yeah.
- Fifty bucks says I get her first.
- Well, I'm always glad to help a fool.
Any other takers?
I was born at night
but not last night.
That girl and her brother wouldn't
give you the steam off their shit.
Fifty dollars says she won't put out
for either of you.
Dutra, you always been
three bricks shy of a load anyhow.
Shit, man, that ain't funny!
Hey, Loren.
I just made 7 more dollars.
This place is gonna be a gold mine.
- How's it coming?
- Pretty good.
- I almost got this track together.
- Good.
At this rate, we'll have
the entire park open in no time.
You know what's holding us back?
Cash flow.
On account of the generator.
Self-contained electrical unit
lights up the entire park...
...on gas right out of our own pumps.
See, Loren...
...what we got us here... a two-day-a-week income
on seven-day-a-week expenses.
It's the night business that counts.
That's what's killing us.
Now, I know where we can get
that generator.
Only goddamn thing, though,
is this cash-flow problem.
Okay, Abby, let her go.
Yeah! Goddamn it, we did it!
Okay, that's $4 for the adults,
and three children.
Okay, 7 all together.
- Thanks.
- Come on.
Hi, everybody,
welcome to Santa's Funland.
Abby, honey, will you get that?
Step right on in there.
- Hi.
- Wanna fill it up, please?
- Regular?
- Yes, please.
You know,
there's a dance Saturday.
- Yeah, so I heard.
- You going?
- I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
- I'm going.
Go with me.
Well, because I'm asking you.
I'm asking you.
You will have a good time.
You'll go, right?
Look, I don't know.
We haven't really met.
I'm sorry.
You owe me $4.
Don't give me bullshit about $4.
I'm talking about a dance here.
I have a lot of work to do,
so could you just give me the money?
That's a hundred.
I can't change that.
Listen, I'm asking you nicely.
Are you gonna go with me?
I don't think so.
Thanks. Here's your change.
I'm Dutra.
You know what that means?
I come in here and act decent,
and you turn me down.
Well, I don't fucking believe that.
You're crazy.
You want crazy?
Well, I'll show you crazy.
My name is Gideon Walters.
My friends call me Gid.
This seat is taken, Gid.
You're gonna wreck your head
with all this stuff.
What stuff?
All this stuff. Books and shit.
- You're gonna tire out your brain.
- Yeah, well...
...this is the library.
What you need is a drive-in.
I'll tell you what.
There's a picture I've seen
out there eight times.
You're gonna love it.
It's called Saturday Night Girls.
You'll come back a new person.
I've already seen it.
Listen, if you don't mind,
I have work to do.
I ain't gonna ask you again.
What I mean is,
you ain't gonna get no extra chance.
Now, what day are we gonna
go out next week?
We're not going out next week.
Now, if you don't mind,
I really have to get this finished.
How about the week after that?
You ever been to a dogfight?
- I mean, a real dogfight. Pit bulls.
- I don't wanna go out with you.
Why not?
You think you're too good for me?
I'm not interested in finding out.
Would you get lost.
Would you like me
to call a teacher?
No, you don't gotta call
nobody, baby.
You just sit right there and rot.
Are you okay?
Here, let me do that.
I saw what happened.
Gideon is just one of those people
we gotta live with.
I just came in here.
I wasn't doing anything.
You don't have to do
anything to Gideon.
You don't have to do anything to any
of those guys that hang with Dutra.
Just look at it this way:
He only is picking on you
because you're a pretty girl.
- Hey, Ab.
- Hey.
- You can have my chair.
- Thank you.
Loren, this is Mark Warfield.
This is my brother, Loren.
- He's tutoring me in algebra.
- Hi.
You know, Loren,
I think that she likes you.
- Who?
- Over there, in the blue sweater.
I can take that.
Well, make a move, boy.
Go over there and fast-talk her.
Well, I'm the strong, silent type,
you know?
- Me too.
- Yeah, right.
Let's see.
We're gonna make a rose.
- See? How pretty.
- Hi.
You're looking good today.
Don't you think
she's looking good today?
You know, I was saying to my friends
you're looking better every day.
Kind of makes coming
to this place more fun...
...just knowing you're walking around,
looking as good as you do.
Gives me something to look
forward to, you know what I mean?
And about the other day, you know,
I wanted to apologize...
...because I understand,
you didn't know me.
- Who I was.
- What happened the other day?
We had a difference of opinion.
Anyway, we know each other
better now, don't we?
And I'm real glad...
...that we're gonna be able to spend
some more time together too.
Watch my lips:
Bitch, you had your shot
and you just fucked it up.
- Okay, buddy, clear off.
- Are you made out of mouth?
I don't like you.
I don't like the way you talk.
What was that all about?
That was Eddie Dutra.
He's about as much fun
as a rabid dog.
He asked me out the other day,
I said no.
I don't like him.
You don't? Well, better get in line.
That man gives new meaning
to the word "unpleasant. "
Best stay out of his face.
How you doing, Mr. Pollock?
Well, hell, yes.
We made a deal, didn't we?
You checked with the bank.
You got my down payment, right?
Well, you know how investors move
when they see an opportunity.
I just got myself
a little infusion of cash.
Well, you hurry up, then.
This is costing me money every day.
Well, pleasure doing business
with you too.
Who was that?
Oh, I just made a great deal
on a diesel generator.
I'm gonna be able to light
this whole place up for almost nothing.
And the roller coaster
is working great now.
You gotta come out tomorrow
and take a look at it, Fay.
Well, that ride alone
could bring in 25, $50,000 a year...
...pure profit.
- Charlie, I love you.
But I hope this isn't gonna be
another disappointment, for your sake.
Things are gonna be
all right, honey.
Things are gonna turn out just fine.
Soon enough, we're gonna be
farting through silk.
You know that girl...
...that was looking at me
at the cafeteria?
The one you said liked me?
I had a funny thing
happen with her today.
I was out on the track,
just cooling down from a workout...
...and she came jogging by.
Actually, she sort of
came jiggling by.
She flashed me this big smile...
...and I walked into a wall.
- Am I in over my head?
- Loren... gave him our money,
didn't you?
I am real pissed.
- About the money?
- How much did you give him?
Why didn't you ask me
before you gave it to him?
Abby, it wasn't a whole lot of money.
We have to help out around here.
Do we have any left?
Yeah, there's a little left.
He said he wouldn't use it
unless it was necessary.
- How much was it?
- It was $2000.
You don't think that he's taken that
and sunk it into this crazy place?
- I don't know.
- Well, of course he has, Loren.
- He'll sink us into it too.
- Would you stop talking like that?
- Why? It's the truth!
- It's not the truth.
This is our home now, Abby.
They're our family.
Loren, that's all the money
we had in the world.
Are you all right?
Charlie, I don't know what to say.
It's a goddamn waste
seeing something like this.
- What are you gonna do?
- The best I can, Charlie.
Did you see anybody?
- Get a license-plate number?
- No.
- Middle of the night, for chrissake.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Abby, this is Sheriff Goodsell...
...and his daughter Karen.
My niece Abby.
Well, I guess I'd better look around,
try to find something.
What the hell kind of people
do something like this?
It's a shame, Charlie.
Just when you're whipping
this place into shape.
It would have made a hell of a claim
with the insurance company.
Except this year, I ain't carrying
that much insurance.
Ain't that always the way.
Just the year you need
it the most, you go shy.
Yeah, ain't that the truth.
Abby, would you get that, please?
Yeah, I got it.
Goddamn it.
- Can I get you something to drink?
- I don't mind if you do.
It's a shame about what happened.
Yeah. Especially after
all the work we did.
It's just awful
what some people will do.
It sure is.
I'm Karen Goodsell,
the sheriff's daughter.
Hi. I'm Loren...
Pretty good
with your hands there, Loren.
Apparently, not great.
Would you mind handing
that up to me?
No, not at all.
- Need some help?
- It's okay. I think I got it.
That's all right. I'll help anyway.
There, now you got them together.
It must be weird living here.
Oh, not really.
You get used to it.
It's our home.
Go ahead, nail them in.
Thought you said
you were good with your hands.
I used to be.
One of us is gonna have to
go down there and get those.
They're your boards.
Must get pretty boring
being cooped up here all the time.
Not really.
Sometimes I get my daddy's car.
Maybe we could go for a ride?
Well, I usually have a lot of work
to do after school.
- You must have time for a ride.
- Karen!
- It's your dad.
- Karen! Come on.
- I gotta go.
- Let's go.
- See you soon?
- Yeah. School tomorrow.
Right. Well, bye.
Hey, come on.
Hey, Loren. How many cans
of this paint we got left?
- Just what you got.
- Need a couple more.
- How about running into town for me?
- Sure.
I wanna go too.
Take the Cadillac. Enjoy yourself.
All right. See you in about a half.
That old paint?
Oh, no problem. You can pick it
right up this afternoon, any time.
- How you doing?
- Good.
I need a couple of gallons
of powder-blue oil-based enamel.
Oil-based enamel, right.
Oh, and some acetone.
One quart?
- Make it a couple quarts.
- Okay.
- Oh, paint thinner.
- Right out front.
I'll get it.
I think you missed a spot.
- Loren.
- Oh, here she comes.
You better come here.
Here she comes.
Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Would you look at this thing
over here?
You know, it's kind of surprising...
...that people would do
something like this.
You sorry bastard.
- Don't worry. We saw who did it.
- Yeah.
It was three of the biggest
motherfuckers I ever seen.
- Wearing suits.
- Yeah, three-piece ones.
- They were real well-dressed.
- Yeah, real good-looking too.
Attractive motherfuckers.
John Law.
- Trouble here, boys?
- Hey, Mike.
Two ugly little guys...
...just scratched the shit
out of this guy's car here.
Damn, that's awful.
Two ugly little guys, you say.
- This Charlie MacWilliams' car?
- He's our uncle.
Is that whose car it is?
Well, holy shit, is he gonna be mad.
- Pissed as hell.
- Fit to be tied.
So which way did these two
ugly little bastards go?
Well, Mike, it's hard to say.
I think you can
take care of it, though.
Have a nice day, now, officer.
- Sorry about your car.
- It's a shame.
Can they get away with this?
Well, you could make a report
if you wanted to.
No. No report.
Sorry, kids.
I'll be right back.
There you are.
Back in one piece, I see.
Oh, my God.
My car.
You want me to cut you?
Roll over.
I came here to accept
your apology...
...and payment
for the damages to my car.
Get up.
Get down.
My, my, snow white.
- Where's your money?
- Fuck you.
Where's your fucking money?
This is for the car.
We're even, you hear me?
It's over.
- Thank you.
- Have a good day.
For the car.
Looks like it's gonna be
a beautiful day.
Hey, Molly.
What are you doing?
Oh, get up here.
How did you get up there?
What are you doing, pretty girl, huh?
Come on, my baby. Hey, Homer.
Hey, Homer, what are you doing?
Hello, baby. You are so pretty.
You are so pretty. Yes, you are.
Hey, guys. Come on, time to eat.
Here you go.
Come on, over here. Here's some.
Come on, let's go. Let's get it.
Come on, everybody. Let's go.
Come on.
Come on. Molly, it's pretty tight
in here with all these guys.
Come on, guys, let's go. Come on.
Jesus, look at that shit.
- Looks like a goddamn spigot.
- Tell you what.
Chad Bob,
take that on in to your ma.
Get a joint if I do?
You get the back of my hand
if you don't.
I'm old enough to shovel dog shit,
but ain't enough for a fucking toke?
You watch your mouth, boy.
You're gonna wind up
talking like a fucking hoodlum.
Now, go on.
All right.
He loves that, don't he?
That's what being
a pit bull's all about.
- Loving blood.
- How long you think...
...she'll stay up there?
- As long as we let her.
Once she gets that taste of blood
in her mouth...
...nothing will get her off this rope
till she's ready.
Who told you to put the dog
on the rope?
Oh, come on, Dutra.
We always work her this way.
- You bucking me again?
- You want me to cut her down?
Hell, you got her up, leave her up.
Hey, Dutra. Can you front me
a little shit till Wednesday?
Trying to run a fucking business.
I ain't fronting nothing.
- You know I'm good for it.
- Money talks. The rest is bullshit.
I didn't take you to raise.
Gonna take another visit
up to Funland.
- Let's just let it alone.
- What the hell are you talking about?
- I'm saying...
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- I'm just thinking that...
- What are you thinking for?
You ain't turning chickenshit on us,
are you, now?
Chickenshit's got nothing
to do with it.
You know I never
backed down before.
You want out? You're out.
I don't wanna see you,
I don't wanna know you.
You see me coming,
you go the other way.
You understand me?
I didn't say I was out, Dutra.
I don't want out.
- I'm in. I'm always in.
- Well, then shut up.
How you boys doing today?
- The dog's looking good, Gordo.
- Thank you, sheriff.
Dutra... know your brake light's out?
No, sir, I did not.
I seen it on the crossroads
over there.
The left one didn't come on.
I thought I should tell you.
- I appreciate that.
- Yeah.
You boys hear about that trouble
over at Funland the other day?
Yeah, we did hear
something about that.
Shit like that makes me sick.
Don't it make you boys sick?
Can't have shit like that
going on, can we?
Life's hard enough already.
We don't need to make it...
...any harder, do we?
- No, sir.
No, sir. No, we don't.
I'm glad you understand.
Kids, it's time to close up.
I'll get the lights.
Good night, Loren.
Good night, Aunt Fay.
- Good night, Ab.
- Good night.
You scared me half to death.
You wanna fuck with someone?
Fuck with me.
You leave my sister alone.
Want to get your dick
knocked in the dirt?
Come on.
Kick his ass!
Anybody else wanna fuck with me?
Wanna fuck with my family?
That's it. You understand?
- Good going, Loren.
- Way to go!
All right, Loren!
Come on.
Come on, Abby, one more.
Come on, Karen.
All right. I'll see you.
- He's getting pretty popular.
- You don't have to tell me.
- You must be proud of him.
- Yeah, I am.
You know, nobody ever
stood up to them like that.
He gets a clean page
in my thought book, that's for sure.
- Come on.
- I'm coming.
Two bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar
All for Glenby, stand up and holler
I'm too tired.
Here he goes.
The cheerleaders
keep checking you out.
You hot dog.
If they're checking me out,
I have a right to check them out.
Is that so?
- I'll stick with what I got.
- You better.
I feel great.
You're all wet and sweaty.
Go take a shower.
I got my daddy's car.
Y'all want a ride home?
- Sure.
- Be right out.
I think I'm in love.
What the fuck's the matter
with you, man? What's your problem?
You still having trouble breathing?
Yeah, a little bit.
I feel better, though.
How you doing?
Called Colonel Jenkins today.
How come?
I don't know.
I just keep thinking about...
...Mom and Dad,
and how things used to be.
So I know Colonel Jenkins
is as hard as nails...
...but I think he's a lot like Dad.
And I just had to talk to somebody
that had their shit together.
You know, they just bought
a new house...
...and their dog
just had three puppies.
Oh, Loren, I feel terrible.
It's so hard to be strong.
If you're gonna make it, kid,
you gotta be strong.
Anybody home?
- Loren, you about ready?
- Back here, Karen.
Okay, Uncle Charlie, let her rip.
- Hey, hey!
- Look at that.
I finally got
that beautiful generator cranking.
It'll be something
when Aunt Fay comes back...
...and sees the business we're doing.
- Sure will.
So how do you guys like it?
- Well, you can see better.
- Yeah.
Tell your friends we're gonna be open
every night starting Friday.
And tell them to get here early
and avoid the lines.
In fact, make an announcement
at the dance if you can.
Funland is open nights.
- Well, we're gonna be late.
- Yeah.
- All right. Come on. Go on.
- Bye-bye.
Go on. Have yourself a good time.
- Where's Loren and Karen?
- They went out about 10 minutes ago.
- Out?
- Yeah, I guess they went for a walk.
- Yeah, I guess.
- Not a bad idea.
No, it's a good idea.
- Beat it, faggot.
- Hey!
Leave her to me.
You dance with the sissy.
Why don't you animals
leave us alone.
Oh, we're animals.
You like Gordo's jackass?
Doesn't he do a good jackass?
Yes, Gordo is a good jackass.
- You're all drunk.
- No, we're animals.
- This drunken animal's gonna dance.
- Kill me before I dance with you.
Let go.
- God.
- Just a dance.
Don't you ever give up?
I'm gonna get you.
- Don't you like it?
- Give me my bag.
It's so hot in here.
Wanna go outside
and get some fresh air?
Okay. Just wait for me one second.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
Come on.
- We're gonna have a little fun.
- No! Let go!
- We'll see who's good enough.
- Let me have her.
- Relax.
- Spread them wide, baby.
Please let me go.
- Please. No!
- Hold still, you bitch.
- Hot damn.
- Let me go, please.
- Please let me go.
- What?
What did you say?
It's getting a little cold out tonight,
don't you think, Gordo?
Yeah. Yeah.
You think we ought to
light ourselves a little fire?
Please! Help!
Stop! No!
Hey, don't get that shit on me, man.
I don't see her anywhere.
Don't you move, child.
Stupid fucking...
Get her on the fucking tongue.
- You're trying to fuck her right now.
- Gordo.
Surprise me.
- Hold her down.
- I've got her.
Sit tight.
Let me try some of that.
- I wasn't good enough for you?
- You're sick.
You ready, Gordo?
- Shit.
- Come here, you bitch.
Come on. We're going hunting.
- She's not in there.
- Come on.
Welcome back.
The party's inside.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Did you see Dutra?
- Yeah, he was here before.
- Did he leave before Abby did?
- Yeah.
Let me have your keys.
I'm gonna go look for her.
- Karen, call your father.
- You coming back?
Now, you see, you pushed me.
You pushed me too far.
Son of a bitch. Let her go.
You know pit bulls?
That dog would like to rip
your fucking heart out, Charlie.
The bloody thing
can chew through the bone.
Make a mess out of you, old man.
Should I let her go?
Stop it.
You want us to stop?
- Get the dog off him.
- I got him, I got him.
Got the jugular.
Let go of the dog.
Fuck! She's gone.
That fucking cunt. I want her dead.
Gid, with me.
Get in.
If you see her, shoot.
All right.
Goddamn it, Moon! It's me.
I'm sorry, JoeBob.
You fool!
There he goes.
It's me.
They're getting away.
- Nice shot.
- Sorry, Gid.
Come on.
I'm gonna find you motherfuckers!
Both of you.
- I'm gonna kill you.
- Damn it. Turn this thing off.
Turn this off, I mean it.
Jesus Christ! Will you turn that off?
No! No!
Abby, look out!
You won't want to miss
a single minute.
You're looking
at Charlie MacWilliams.
A survivor of near-fatal
gunshot wounds...
...and an eyewitness
to the Bloodbath at Funland.
Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen.
That's what they called it.
Believe me, when they called it that,
that's what it should have been called.
Hurry, the guided tour
is gonna start in a minute.
It's 2.50 for adults,
dollar and a half for the kiddies.
It's educational and inspirational.
See where the dope-crazed vandals...
...paid the ultimate price.
- Here you go, Aunt Fay.
- Thank you.
- It was just the rotor.
- Good.
Abby, we got a picture.
Just give her the camera.
All right, everybody. Smile.
Thank you. Step over there,
I'll be with you in a minute.
- Uncle Charlie?
- Yeah.
Have you seen Mark or Karen?
No. Not today.
Hey, Loren, look at that crowd.
Everything's coming up roses.
Do you have any idea
how much money we're gonna make?
No, sir.
Neither do I,
but you can bet it's a bundle.
Hey, honey. Honey.
How much did we take in
at the box office today?
Listen, we cleared
2300 last week...
...and that is over the 2000
we paid back to Loren and Abby.
I always knew we'd hit it big.
- They're waiting.
- It's time for the tour.
My public grows impatient.
Charlie, don't you think
you ought to tell the kids?
- No, I think it can wait.
- Tell them now.
- Tell us what?
- Your dad's friend Colonel Jenkins...
...called this morning from Tucson.
- Yeah. He heard what happened...
...and I guess he figured maybe...
Well, it all boils down to this:
He wants you and Abby to go
out there and live with them.
- We'll understand if you wanna go.
- Yeah. But we'd sure like you to stay.
What do you think, Ab?
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
this is where I live. I'm home.
Me too.
That's wonderful.
- Hey there. Sorry I'm late.
- Hey, Karen.
I got my daddy's car,
but it's been acting funny.
- Where's Mark?
- He's waiting for us.
- So we should get going.
- Hey, Loren.
- Take the Caddy.
- I don't know, Uncle Charlie.
What do you mean, you don't know?
Take it. Have fun.
Beat the hell out of the damn thing
if you want to.
To tell you the truth,
I was thinking...
...about buying a Maserati.
- Oh, Charlie.
We should get going.
Mark's waiting for us.
Hiya, folks.
My name is Charlie MacWilliams...
...your tour guide.
I'm gonna show you where each...
...and every one of the dope-crazed
vandals met his gory end...
...if you'll just follow me here.
And let me tell you this, folks...
...we can all sleep a lot sounder
knowing we've seen...
...the last of that bunch
of bloody loonies.
Here we go, folks. Right this way.
You won't want to miss
a single minute.
Now, you've read about it
in the papers.
Now you can see
where it actually happened.