The Night the World Ends (2024) Movie Script

The emergency alert
system has been activated
power outages across the
country are continuing...
I don't understand why everybody is so
obsessed with taking a
vacation at your dad's old cabin.
The place creeps me out.
It's like, how many
people are left in town?
Last time I checked the
census, it was like a dozen.
But think about it like we got the whole
cabin to ourselves, right?
And it's nostalgic.
There's a patio
there's a lake, there's a beach.
It's like you're going back in time.
So good to get off that goddamn car.
How much longer are
you guys going to be?
I needed to go for hours.
You are not using this bathroom.
On every trip we go on, you take these
massive shits, go find
another one down the hall,
and leave us in peace.
Also, do you guys
have any pregnancy tests?
I think I'm late.
God, where we are,
there's like nothing nearby.
Okay, so when Ted goes out, I will go
with him and grab some
pregnancy tests when I can.
Don't tell anybody else, especially Ted.
He will let Rick know in a heartbeat.
Does Ted ever talk to you about what
happened to his parents?
So sad.
Once or twice when he was really
hammered, but whenever I
ask him and he's sober,
he just changes the subject.
That's so sad.
Anyway, I'm going to go
to that other bathroom now.
Uh, guys, I guess we're out of a
couple things, so I'm going to have to go
to the store to get some.
So, Ted, how do we get down to the lake
so we can get this party started?
There's a trail out back.
Feel free.
Are there bears here?
Black bears, I think, but I've
never actually seen one.
What about Bigfoot?
Sure, buddy.
There's Bigfoot, too.
No, actually, I think I was like 11 and
we went on this hiking trip.
We experienced something.
It was like strange smells and weird
sounds, but I don't know
if it was actually Bigfoot.
Well, good thing you
have your dad's gun here.
Did it smell like homeless people?
It didn't smell like
people at all, actually.
It was weird.
It smelled like a dead animal.
Actually, speaking of things that smell
bad, did you guys hear how many more
people became homeless after last year?
86 million.
Can you fucking believe that?
Do you guys ever stop and
think about how lucky we are?
Just the fact that we can
go places and afford things?
Yeah, think about it all the time.
You think things will ever get better,
you know, with the economy?
My dad says it will.
My mom thinks it's going to get worse.
Especially with the war in Asia?
Maybe. One day.
At least this time we're
staying the fuck out of that mess.
What I don't understand is why the hell
don't we just start
making things here again?
Your boyfriend's dad is the senator.
Ask him.
It costs too much.
People don't want to buy shit made here
when shit made elsewhere is,
you know, a quarter of the cost.
Yeah, but why not just tax the fuck out
of imports so people
can have jobs again?
Anybody else lose their cell reception?
I haven't had signal for hours.
Mine stopped working
and drained the battery.
Same here.
Wait, so no one has cell reception?
That's weird.
I've never had trouble
with reception here before.
Don't sweat it.
I was kind of looking to just unwind and
disconnect for the week anyway.
Yeah, it sucks though.
Okay, um, I'm going to go to the store.
Does anybody need anything else?
Wait, I'm going to come with.
Everything okay?
No, um, my girlfriend and.
I, our car just broke down.
Out of gas?
No, um, I had it converted to an electric
motor a few years back.
When gas was like, $50 a gallon.
It just... lost all power.
I'd call for a tow, but...
I can't get any cell
reception around here.
Yeah, I noticed I lost cell reception
a couple hours back.
I was hoping to use your
guys' phone to call for a tow.
Sorry to bother you.
Hey, wait, um...
My family has a cabin
that's like 20 minutes away.
You guys are welcome to come
and use our landline there.
That would be amazing.
Yeah, and it'll probably take the tow a
couple hours to get out here still, so...
You're welcome to come
and chill with us.
We've got a beach and a lake house.
And I'll drive you guys back
out once the tow gets out here.
You guys are awesome.
Honey, come on!
I'm Miranda.
Hi, I'm Kristen.
Hi, I'm Will.
I'm Ted.
It's nice to meet all of you.
Thank you so much.
We've been stuck out here for hours.
You're literally the first
person we've seen all day.
Yeah, not a lot of people come out here
since the economy went to shit.
So, what brought you two out here?
Oh, we were just on a camping trip.
Yeah, a few nights by the lake.
So, are you guys in school?
I graduated recently.
Oxford, in England.
I'm still in school.
Med school, actually, at Harvard.
So, hopefully be doing
my residency next year.
You're a long way from home.
Alright, let's get you two to the phone.
Who the hell are these two?
This is Kristen and Will.
Their car broke down, so we're trying to
help them call a tow truck.
Hey, I'm Pam.
Absolutely love your outfit.
What are you doing?
Wi-Fi and phones are down.
So, Doug, can you fix it?
Dude, I have no idea.
I think it's a down line or something.
Everything's connected.
I can't figure out what it is.
It's okay if you can't get it to work.
It was worth a try.
You know what?
I'll just drive you guys.
Yeah, if you don't
mind, that would be great.
I can give you some money.
Stop, stop.
It's fine.
Kristen, do you want to
stay here while they go?
It's up to you.
I'll drive you back to your car.
That way you don't have to worry about
sitting in a car for another two hours.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, if it's not a problem.
Come on, I'll show you around.
Oh, Misty, this is Kristen and Will.
Their car broke down, so they're gonna
hang out here until they get it towed.
But in the meantime, could
you make us some margaritas?
I'll make the drinks.
You guys just relax.
Okay, sweet.
Come on, I'll show you around.
All right.
Oh, here's the map.
Will, let's go.
Oh, and by the way, if you get lost,
I circled the places with the
best bet to find a tow truck.
Closest is by that old grocery store that
we stopped by on the way here.
This place is gorgeous.
Thanks so much, you
know, for showing me
around and for the drink.
I really appreciate it.
Not a problem.
I'm just glad we're all drinking now
rather than driving.
Where are Misty and Rick?
And Kristen, would you like a glass of
water with your drink?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
They went up to the room for some alone
time after they unpacked.
So, Kristen, how did you and Will meet?
Oh, we met through a friend actually.
We met at a party.
And okay, there was this guy and he was
really bothering me.
He was really getting on my nerves.
And Will came and he
just took care of him.
So, I don't know.
We just hit it off from there ever since.
And how long have you been together?
About a year.
What about you guys?
Well, Ted's my bitch.
He's been in love with
me since high school,
following me around
like a sad little puppy.
And maybe two years
ago, I finally let him
take advantage of me.
Wouldn't say we're exclusive though.
I just tolerate him.
What she means to say is that Ted thinks
they're in a monogamous relationship.
Shut up!
You make me sound like I'm a.
No, I don't.
But Ted was dating
Rachel for three years
that night you seduced him.
And that poor girl was
devastated that he chose you over her.
Pretty sure she slit her wrist and ended
up in the ER after that.
Yeah, he's not kidding.
Ted loves Miranda.
Like, so much he would
drive a car off a cliff for her.
I have never seen a guy
as pussy whipped as Ted.
He's a good friend with benefits.
Well, he sounds like a good guy.
He is.
Maybe even one day I'll let
him put a ring on my finger.
How about you two?
We haven't really talked about marriage.
We're just taking
things one day at a time.
Yeah, my sister got
married six years ago.
Her husband went out
drinking every night.
One day, got suspicious,
followed him to a cheap, sleazy motel.
Found him sleeping with another guy.
Divorced now.
Marriage isn't all
it's crapped out to be.
It is with the right person.
Ok, I'll drink to that.
Doug and I have only been
dating for about a year.
We've had our
differences, our ups and downs,
but at the end of the day, I'd say we
complete each other.
We've talked about marriage and kids,
but we kind of want to
wait until things get...
That's understandable.
I mean, it's horrible how
things have become, you know?
You'd think with all the
empty buildings and houses,
they'd do something.
Like, give people a place to sleep.
No, like give them money,
so they can pay rent to
people like my parents,
who have dozens of properties.
And if not that, then place
them where we can't see then.
It's scary when they come up to the car.
Bangin' on the windows.
Screaming for food.
Someone should tell.
Rick's dad to put them in camps
with like, cots and barbed wire.
As you can see, she kind of
gets diarrhea of the mouth
when she has a drink in her.
I say it as I see it.
Have you guys seen Ted's dad's journal?
Look at this.
It says "Property of the CIA" on it.
It's got some really
interesting stuff in here.
You should not be reading that.
Like, look.
He was super into ancient Egypt.
It talks about the myth of the
destruction of humanity.
Apparently, the god Ra became upset
when the people rebelled against him,
and so he unleashed
something called the.
Eye of Ra on humanity.
It killed almost everybody,
but then he had a change of
heart and let some people live.
And here, there was a
mass extinction event
in North America in 10,000 B.C.
Thousands of woolly
mammoths and crushed trees
all found inland, like a giant tidal wave
carried them in and buried them there.
It was instant death.
Every human and horse
in North America
died around the same
time, too, and camels.
Did you know camels
came from North America?
Hey, where's the bathroom?
Go inside.
Pass the bedroom I
showed you to the left.
Can I help you?
Uh, sorry.
I was looking for the bathroom and I
opened the wrong door.
That was embarrassing.
No, it was fucking weird.
And she was standing
there for who knows
how long just watching us.
Makes me harder just thinking about it.
You should have let her keep watching.
Fucking weirdo.
Now continue.
You found the bathroom okay?
Yeah, but uh, oh I accidentally walked
into Rick and Misty's room.
You're probably gonna need
another drink after seeing that.
I feel awful.
They're probably so embarrassed.
They'll get over it.
Hey, you want to go down to the lake?
Yeah, yeah, we could check out.
We're gonna head down to the lake.
We'll make lunch when we get back?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Hi, my car broke down.
Is there a tow truck or anything around?
Well, the old auto
shop closed up last year.
Is there a gas station nearby maybe?
There's one down the road, but it's only,
it's an automated only
and credit card only.
And they don't employ
anyone and just sell gas.
Your best bet is a tow truck
that's like three hours away,
but you'll have to call them and they
could send a tow truck
to wherever your car is.
Do you have a phone we could use?
No, but there's an old resort town about
an hour north from here.
That's your best bet.
That's where we came from.
Didn't see anybody the
whole time we were there,
and all the shops are closed.
- Can I see that map?
- Yeah.
All right, like right about here,
there should be an older prep per fella.
He should have a phone.
Okay, great, thanks for your help.
We'll check it out.
I love you.
What was up with that girl earlier?
I wouldn't worry about it,
she was probably just lost.
That was fucking creepy.
She's here for who
knows how much longer.
Don't worry about it.
She probably just thought you...
It's not just that,
I have to talk to you
about something too.
It's probably nothing.
I'm late.
And you've been on birth control?
I wouldn't worry about it.
I think I forgot to take my pills
a couple days last month.
I don't know if that...
Why do you have to
throw this at me right now?
Well, when do you want me to tell you?
Like when you know for sure.
Like, you know if my dad finds out
that you're pregnant
and we're not married,
I'll lose my inheritance.
Come on, don't do that right now.
Well, what if I am pregnant?
Then we'll deal with it.
It's not just that.
What is it?
I don't know if it's yours.
Get the fuck away from me.
Get the fuck away!
I love you.
Whose is it?
I'm not sure.
It's at that party I
went to with Miranda.
There were these three guys.
You had sex with three guys at once?
Yes, but Miranda was there too.
She talked me into it.
We were drunk.
Unfucking believable.
I can't believe I even
looked at wedding rings.
Oh, please, please don't do this.
Well, how the fuck
do you want me to react?
Maybe like you're my best friend.
I got drunk, I made a mistake.
Let fucking go of me.
Jesus Christ.
I need to go take a shower or something.
Oh, and by the way, I
fucked Miranda two months ago.
There was a weird guy
we saw around the house earlier.
I think he lives up here.
Let's see if we can use his phone.
All these houses look abandoned.
You guys have done
so much for us already.
I'll go check it out.
You can just wait in the car.
You know, they say.
Bigfoot lives in these woods.
Yeah, you know, Will,
he thought he saw one.
He did?
Yeah, the other night we
thought we heard something.
So he got out and he like chased it.
But like, I don't know, it got away
and like who knows what it was.
Wow, I don't think I'd ever chase
something like that,
but at least it runs away.
Do you think we should
have invited Misty?
Nah, three's already a crowd.
Plus she took a giant
dump before we left.
Really smelled up the place.
I had to get out of
there after that stinker.
That is just like so funny.
Like honestly, like I don't
think I've ever met anybody
as upfront and honest as you guys.
We're family.
Well, it must be nice
to have friends like that.
I mean, not always.
Misty really pisses me off.
Like seriously, light a
match or spray some perfume.
If your shits are that massive.
So what are your
friends like in Boston?
I don't know.
To be honest, like really
nothing like you guys have here.
You know, I don't know, just like friends
from like med school and stuff.
And like we meet up, we
have drinks and whatnot,
talk about classes and who's hiring,
but I don't know, I'm just
too busy for anything else,
you know, other than Will
and just trying to survive.
Well, you can consider us friends.
I know we just met, but I like you.
Okay, there's something we
want to show you up ahead.
Anybody there?
Oh my god, Kristin!
She's with...
Oh my god, Kristin!
So this is where Ted's mom did it.
Did what?
Took a shotgun and blew her brains out.
Oh my god. That's awful.
Happened years ago when he was a kid.
That's just so sad.
Ted's family owns all of this.
50 acres of lake and abandoned houses
when everybody left.
Yeah, you know, actually when we were
staying on the other side,
we kind of noticed that
houses were pretty empty.
Was there anyone camping with you?
No. No one. It was just us.
Maybe some bugs.
You know, years ago, it took months just
to reserve a campsite,
and now no one can even
afford to make the trip out here.
And everybody left and
it became a ghost town.
So, Kristin, what line
of medicine are you in?
Oh, I'm in pediatrics.
You know, it might be nice to set up a
practice in a small town like this.
Maybe not as small as this.
Yeah, maybe, but...
You know, Will and I were actually
thinking about moving.
Once I was done with school, of course,
but, you know, he works from home,
so it would work out.
And I actually think I just
kind of want to start a family,
because it's really hard to find a job.
What about your family in Boston?
Well, we're just not
really that close, honestly.
Like, my sisters live with my parents,
and we see each other
on, like, Christmas
and, like, Thanksgiving,
and that's it.
So, I guess I just thought I could.
Move away.
I've thought about that.
But what if we lost our jobs?
What if we became like
everyone else out there?
Stop, you're depressing me.
We are nothing like those people.
If you ask me, you have to focus on the
things you can control,
like the alcohol in your drinks,
and just be grateful for every damn
moment you're given.
I'll drink to that shit.
What happened?
I couldn't find anyone.
Do you want to wait for him?
No, I'm worried about Kristen
leaving her back at the cabin.
You guys have just done so much for us.
It's alright. We'll camp out and just
wait for the cell phone
service to work again.
Are you sure?
Yeah, let's just go. Please.
Okay, if you're sure.
This place creeps me out.
Fuck this weather.
So Kristen, tell us about
Will. What's he like?
Well, first, Misty, I'm
really sorry about earlier.
I did not mean to walk in on you two.
You probably could have kept watching.
Rick was kind of turned on by it.
No, I mean, I really didn't mean to.
See, I get this anxiety that washes over
me and I freeze up and I can't move.
Okay, that makes it a
little less weird then, I guess.
Yeah. So, what's he like?
Well, I mean, he's a good guy.
Yeah, I mean, he works hard.
I mean, I don't think
he's ever cheated on me.
At least, I don't see
him looking at other women.
Yeah, I don't think.
Doug's ever cheated on me.
I just wish he had a bigger dick.
Yeah, tell me about it.
What do you mean?
I mean, with Ted. He's
so sensitive about it.
Oh. I thought you were talking about
Doug. Like, you had
sex with him or something?
Anyway, Kristen, let's talk about Will.
What bothers you about him?
Um... I don't know. Um...
Maybe that he talks to himself.
Everyone talks to themselves.
This is different. You see, he talks to
himself like he is talking
directly to somebody else.
And he does it when he
doesn't think anybody's watching.
And he also has a history of
schizophrenia and
psychosis in his family.
So, you're worried he might
go bat shit bonkers one day.
No, not really. I don't
think that's gonna happen.
I don't think I've ever met anybody that
I really love and
respect as much as Will.
So sweet. Just give
it a few years, though.
Man, fudge this weather.
Is Ted not back yet?
Oh, not yet.
It's been like three hours.
Sure he'll be back. In the meantime,
let's get drunk and
have some alone time.
After you.
Anyway, um...
How are you enjoying the conversation
these fine ladies are providing?
It's unexpected. I can't say that I've
ever met anyone like
the six of you before.
So there's that. At
least we keep it interesting.
Yeah, you're definitely very open.
I'm just not used to it. Okay? But I
really, really like you guys.
That's so nice.
Oh, God. Oh, crap. I just
started feeling light-headed.
Do you have anything to eat
before you had that drink?
Yeah, no, it's not like an
alcoholic buzz. I don't know.
Everything seems brighter.
That's so weird. I felt like that a
little bit ago too, but
seems to be better now.
Maybe it was
something in that wine cooler.
Yeah, yeah, maybe.
Um, I'm gonna get up.
See if I can walk it off.
Hey, well, we're here
if you need anything.
Yeah. Okay, thank you.
Where's everyone?
Um, um, everybody's like drinking. I
don't know. Maybe
check the bedrooms or outside?
Hey, honey, are you okay?
Yeah. I just had a few drinks earlier and
like, my head started feeling funny and I
had to go walk around forever.
But, um, I think it's
what's going on with the car.
A long story, but I couldn't find
anyone. I figured we'd just stay at the
campsite again tonight and...
You know what? We
have an extra bedroom
downstairs. You guys are
more than welcome to crash.
We appreciate it.
Yes, yeah.
We're spending the night here, okay? I
don't want to go and camp outside again.
We'd have to go walk to the car.
We'd have to go set up in the rain. Let's
just spend the night here.
Can we talk about this outside?
No. We're spending the night
here. I've made up my mind.
Okay. We can spend the night.
Awesome. Yeah, I'll
show you guys around.
And we can check the Wi-Fi again in a
little bit. Hopefully you
guys can make a call, yeah?
Oh, okay.
Sit. Sit down.
We need to get out of here now.
I saw a dead body at
the neighbor's house.
Are you sure?
Are you really sure?
Okay? You remember?
Will! Like the time we were hiking, you
saw a bunch of dead bodies and a voice
told you to bury them, and I just...
I found you moving around dirt with your
hands, but there was
no actual dead bodies.
I know what I saw this time.
Well, listen to me. Listen to me.
Okay, I love you.
I love you too.
Okay. Okay. But, you know,
you have an imagination, right?
It's just... it's an out of control
imagination. And
sometimes, sometimes you
see and you hear things
that aren't actually there.
You gotta listen, and we
have to stick to the plan. Okay?
Come on.
Hey, Ted. Have you
checked the internet?
Yeah. It's still not working. Sorry.
Is he ok?
Yeah, yeah he's fine, he's just tired.
Are you sure he's okay?
Yeah, yeah he's just really tired.
He's had a rough day.
What do you guys think that man meant
talking about an attack?
Don't you think it's weird and the
phones aren't working?
I mean, it was probably
just another military drill.
The phones are down due to another
rolling military blackout or something.
I mean they happen all the time because
of my dad's Energy Conservation Act.
Well, they basically cut power and
services to the residential home
neighborhoods in order
to make sure that
the multinational billion dollar
corporations have enough power.
Sorry, I'm eating with my hands, guys.
I must be just used
to it from the campsite.
Pasta's really good though.
You okay, bud?
Kristen, does he need
anything? Another glass of water?
No, he's fine. He just, he um, he gets
these episodes, you
know, where he shakes
and he talks to himself. He's fine.
It's like epilepsy
without the seizures, alright?
Well, I'm glad he likes the pasta.
Pamela can't cook for shit so you can
thank me for making it.
Screw you. I can cook
so much better than you.
Five thousand bucks says you can't.
Alright, you two stop arguing. Let's do a
cook off and we'll do a blind taste test
and we'll tell you who can
cook the best freaking meal.
I'm down for it.
Well, what do I get when I win?
You get to watch me slowly undress.
And if I lose?
You tell me I'm the best.
And queen of the kitchen.
Will, you're the first judge.
Okay, try the other one.
I don't really know, I'm not into sweets.
Kristen, your turn.
They just kind of taste?
They kind of taste the same?
Don't worry about it.
Hey, what's the matter with them?
We roofied the cake.
Yeah, they were kind of scaring us.
I don't know, I kind of liked them.
Why the fuck are you drugging people?
Listen, these people
were crazy, like psycho even.
I don't want to stay
in the same house as them.
We're just gonna
bring them back to the car,
leave a note that says they passed out
and wanted us to bring them back,
and they're not gonna
know the difference.
How did, who, where did you
find roofies in the first place?
We didn't, they were Rick's dads.
Jesus Christ, guys, these are our guests.
What the hell's the matter with you?
Hey, it is what it is.
It's not what, this is not what it is.
This is not what it is at all.
Not at all what it, what the
fuck is the matter with you?
I don't know, I kind
of wanted one of them
to say that my cake tasted better.
I'm still really
uncomfortable about this, guys.
It'll be fine. They'll be fine.
Cell phones are going to work tomorrow,
they'll be able to call for help.
Yeah, I wouldn't worry
about it too much, Ted.
What I'd be worried
about is them never leaving.
I mean, what if they made all that shit
up about the car anyway?
What if they were homeless?
Do you really want
homeless people eating
our food and living in your cabin?
Drugging them still feels wrong.
I mean, I could have driven them to the
car in the morning and
it would have been fine.
I know you were bothered by it, but they
did the right thing.
I just...
We left them with no way to
contact anybody or anything, right?
It just feels wrong.
You have to stop
trying to save other people.
Kind of like how I saved you?
You didn't save me.
I'm only here because you
couldn't live without me.
Your words, not mine.
Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, I love you.
I'm really tired, babe.
With all the driving
around today, I just...
Will you please shut up and just...
Ted, I thought I heard a door, a window
open, and footsteps downstairs.
It's Bigfoot!
Shut up! Seriously!
Or a grizzly bear? It's fine.
I thought I heard something.
It's probably just Doug and Rick dicking
around downstairs, babe. It's okay.
Will you stop being such
a pussy and just go check?
Of course the power's out.
Doug? Rick? I swear to God, if it's you
guys dicking around downstairs?
Jesus Christ, you scared
the shit out of me.
The back door was open. No big deal.
Did you check the whole house?
No. Do you want me to?
Yes. Stop stuffing
your face and get to it.
I don't know why I love you
sometimes, but I do.
It's a good thing I charged this.
What am I supposed to be looking for?
I don't know. Homeless
people, riffraff, serial killers.
You know, the type of
person that sees an
open door at 4am and just walks in.
And they just so happen to be in the
middle of Bumblefuck nowhere.
What the fuck was that?
Okay, shh. Follow me.
I hope it's a racoon.
What the fuck was that?
Stay with me, babe.
Maybe it was a bear?
A bear that can open doors?
I don't know!
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is going on?
Something got in the
house while we were asleep.
Don't know.
Is it safe?
Yeah, I mean, it's not
inside the house anymore.
What did it look like?
Um, kind of human? Or
like a bear without
fur? It's hard to describe.
I kind of want to take a
picture of it. Who's coming with?
You are such a dumb-ass.
Come on, it'll be fun.
It might actually be a good idea to
figure out what it is.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm in a house of complete morons.
This is the stupidest
idea I've ever heard.
Come on, how many times have
you seen a bear in the wild?
Zero. And I'd prefer to keep it that way.
Um, don't you think we should get a gun
before we go out there?
Uh, yeah. I'll go get
my dad's old shotgun.
Isn't that the shotgun his
mom blew her brains out with?
Let's fucking do this.
Why are you stopping?
It sounded like someone...
Who the hell cares? Keep going.
But it sounded...
Oh my fucking God,
what did we talk about?
I know.
No talking during sex.
But it's the...
But nothing! Just keep going and don't
stop until I say so.
God, you sound like my mom right now.
I sound like your what? Get off me!
Oh, okay.
Just like your dad. Giving speeches
while having sex.
My dad? What?
I told you I don't like it
when you talk. It ruins the mood.
Relax. I just... I thought
I heard someone screaming.
And what was that about my dad?
And why did you mention your mom?
Can we stop talking about this now?
Oh, now you want to
stop talking about it.
Okay, I...
I thought I heard someone screaming.
It sounded like Miranda. It sounded like
she was being attacked.
What if those two
people came back? And
now they're attacking her.
Okay, go and check it out. But once you
get back, you're
making it up to me, okay?
I don't see anything.
Are you sure you saw an animal?
Yeah, pretty sure.
Jesus Christ.
What the hell are you guys doing out
here? And why the hell
do you have a shotgun?
We thought we saw a bear.
We don't know, we saw
something inside it ran out.
Okay, guys, let's finish
circling the house, okay?
Everybody stay close.
Do you see that?
What the fuck was that?
It looks like it
jumped ten feet in the air.
God dang.
It's gotta be on the roof.
Is that what I think it was?
Everybody inside, now!
Go, go, go.
Everybody, lock the doors, lock the
windows. I don't wanna
see anything coming in.
But what if it's already in the house?
Then we'll deal with it then.
Holy shit, Ted. Holy shit. Did you see
what that thing was?
Kristin! Kristin! Kristin!
Good morning, guys.
Hope you slept well.
Rick and Misty left at sunrise.
Without even saying goodbye?
Misty completely freaked when Rick told
her about what we saw.
Then she got even
more mad on top of the
other five things
she's pissed at him about.
And then she dragged his ass at six in
the morning to go grab a tow truck to get
them the hell out of here.
Those two just need to break up already?
You know,
I once heard my dad talking about a
spaceship that looked just like this.
He found it on a dig with the government
agency he was working with at the time.
Off the southern
coast of Alaska, I think.
But I remember him talking about, like,
if only people knew what powered it,
we'd be really pissed about paying
electricity bills every month.
I thought your dad was
a philosophy professor.
That was just a cover.
He actually worked for the CIA and like
five other super
classified government organizations,
but that's what they do.
You know, they put people in places,
media companies, news outlets, so they
can control everything.
You control the information people get.
You control the narrative.
Whoa. Crazy. So he was
like James Bond or something?
Not quite. He was kind of a mystery to
everybody, especially me.
But I remember one night I was a kid.
I got out of bed. I just
wanted a glass of water.
But I went downstairs and
I heard him on the phone.
He was talking about aliens.
What did he say about them?
I don't remember exactly, but the gist of
it was that, well, that
aliens weren't actually aliens,
but us, like human beings.
That doesn't make any sense.
I thought so too, but they were talking
about skeletons they just found.
What kind of skeletons?
Human ones, but they were mutated.
You know, like they had
enlarged heads and longer fingers.
I don't know. What he
said was that there
was an ancient civilization that lived
tens of thousands of years ago.
They had technology that was way more
advanced than anything we have now.
They learned how to master everything.
Time, space, genetic
engineering, space travel.
And they basically became immortal.
I think your dad was
playing a joke on you.
No. I wasn't supposed
to hear it, you know.
It was just something I heard randomly
on a night out of bed when
I wasn't supposed to be.
Well, how do you know it's true?
I don't.
But the reason I'm thinking about it is
because I thought it might have had
something to do with
what we saw the other night.
Wait, you think that had
something to do with what we saw?
Maybe. I heard him
talking about the myth
of Medusa and how she
had something to do
with aliens and UFOs.
That's Clash of the.
Titans. That movie's a classic.
You remember that
scene where Perseus has
the shield and the
sword and then he cuts.
Medusa's head off like that?
We should totally watch it.
Seriously, guys, think about it. What if
what we saw last night has something
to do with what they're talking about?
What if the myth of Medusa's
referring to one of those...
Yeah. What she said.
I could believe that.
When it looked at me. I was
so scared I couldn't move.
I felt like I'd been turned into stone.
You know what scares
me? Really scares
me. It's not aliens.
You know the word alien
comes from the Hebrew
word "Eye of God". At least that's what it
says in your dad's journal.
Shhh! It's not aliens.
It's getting old. That's what scares me.
Ah, but we're young now.
But not forever.
There's nothing wrong
with getting old, Pam.
But the wrinkles.
And the Botox.
Speaking of aliens, did you all see my
mom after her last plastic surgery job?
Oh my God, she looks like
an alien after that last one.
I never understood that.
Like, I'll still love you, Pam, even if
you have wrinkles. Just
don't butcher your face.
It's not the wrinkles.
It's just the fact that we won't matter.
It's like we'll just be...
Like we were never here at all.
You know, I had a similar thought when I
was out with Misty a few weeks ago.
We had slammed six shots.
I said to myself, if I'm really going to
die, whether it's tonight, tomorrow, or
50 years down the road,
if someday, who knows when, I'm gonna
dissolve into quiet oblivion,
I might as well live it up while I can.
Your version of living it up
is like an NC-17 rated movie.
Shush, don't be a turd.
You don't want Ted finding out about the
video Misty made.
What? What video?
What video?
Are Rick and Misty back already?
What if it's the alien?
Hey, Will.
Have you seen Kristen?
Uh, what?
It's like I woke up in the car this
morning and she was gone.
I remember eating cake here last night,
but I don't know if I
did something, you know?
Okay, well why don't you come on in and
we can figure this out.
So she's not here?
Um, last night you guys passed out.
Like at the table.
Um, we weren't sure
what to do with you,
so we brought you back to your car
in case a tow truck
showed up or something.
We tried waking you up.
I don't remember any of it.
I just don't.
You know, it's ok.
I can drive you back out
there. Um, I should say we
saw something last night.
It broke into the cabin.
What did you see?
Um, I'm not really sure.
It was dark.
It was hard to tell.
I'd sound crazy.
Go on.
I think we saw, um, an alien.
I don't know.
I don't know for sure.
It had like big eyes.
Its head was massive.
It jumped like 20 feet in the air, okay,
and it ran around on the roof.
And you think it ate Kristen?
No, no, no.
I'm sure she's okay.
What we saw didn't try to harm us.
You know, she probably woke up in the
car, was confused, went to go get help.
Why didn't she try
to wake me up though?
Who knows?
Who knows?
Why don't we go?
I can drive you out there
and we can try and find her.
Thank you guys.
I should probably go try to find help.
Don't be silly.
Ted's fixing the solar panels.
Power should be back.
Maybe the internet will be back up
and we'll be able to
make phone calls again.
Sit down, relax.
You've had a long day.
Nobody is eating anyone!
Who is what?
Sorry, I meant to say...
I don't know what I was trying to say.
Oh hell!
Thank God, you're okay.
My head just hurts.
Drink this.
It's so weird.
All I remember is like eating cake
and then I was just in the car
and there was this weird green light.
Green light?
Oh God, this really hurts.
Just lay down, you need to relax.
I was so worried.
I woke up and you were gone.
What do you mean I was gone?
You weren't in the
car, but then you were.
That doesn't make any sense.
It's so weird.
It's like the backup batteries aren't
even holding a charge.
They're just completely shot.
It's so strange.
Everything was working fine last night.
You know what, there's
something else you should see.
I was working with this earlier.
It's some kind of emergency broadcast.
There was a lot of interference,
but I think I got most of it.
I guess there was an
alien attack that happened.
Most of the major cities
around the world have been hit.
They're telling people to
stay inside and be safe.
Are you serious?
Well, that would
explain what we saw last night.
Maybe, maybe that's why
Rick and Misty aren't back yet.
Maybe they heard the broadcast
and they're trying to
find somewhere safe to stay.
I bet Rick's dad has a nice government
bunker that they can stay at.
I hope Rick comes back.
Can you try playing it again?
I guess the broadcast's off air now.
Okay, let's say you're right.
How the hell can we even
confirm this is happening?
Do you have cell reception?
Maybe the radio was a
commercial for a movie or a prank.
Maybe the two people we picked up.
Come on, this has
Doug written all over it.
Yes, Doug does crazy
pranks, but this is not that.
This is too much, even for him.
Think about it, think
about everything else.
And we still don't
have any cell reception.
What's that about?
So this journal is based on research from
a place called Skinwalker Ranch.
But here's the thing I don't understand.
It says they are invisible to the naked
eye, that they move too
fast for us to see, and
we would need a camera
recording hundreds
of thousands of frames
per second just to
see them.
So if that's the case,
what did we see yesterday?
I have no idea.
But I do know that there's a section in
that book that talks about
shape-shifting abilities.
Native American trickster
spirits, I think it was.
And then there's a whole other section
about some Wisakedjak.
They believed it was responsible for a
great flood that destroyed the world.
This just doesn't make sense.
It says that there should be unexplained
mold, leaves changing
colors, weird insect
and animal behaviors.
Batteries going dead.
Weird smells, unexplained headaches,
sunburns, experiencing time differently.
At least that's what it says here.
Well, think about it like this.
The power's out right
now, and there have
been weird smells around here.
And I don't just mean from Misty taking
shits without putting the fan on.
Oh my god, did you guys smell that
stinker last night before I went to bed?
Can I see it?
The book I mean?
Hold on a sec.
It says that they're good natured.
That humans would
fear them if they were
ever encountered, but
this would be a mistake.
Because the greatest threat to
humanity is ourselves?
I mean, none of this adds up.
Makes no sense.
I just have a weird feeling about
everything that's going on.
Your dad really liked Plato.
And to him who had an eye to see, they
became visibly debased.
Hey Doug, can I see the gun?
He also wrote the Eye is the Ark of the.
Covenant, allowing people to
experience time differently
through the insect shells that saturate
the bark of a certain tree in Ethiopia.
And that Plato's Republic was actually a
description of their
society he learned from
the ancient Egyptians.
Let's change the subject.
I can get food here in a second?
It's just cold soup, but...
And does anybody need
something to drink?
Could I get a glass of water?
I'm dying of thirst.
You guys see anything yet?
Nothing yet.
So, Doug and I are going to
go check the rest of the house.
If that's okay.
We can keep an eye out here.
Maybe Rick and Misty will be back soon.
I'm going to use the bathroom.
Hey guys, look what I found!
Why do you have your dad's old sword?
It might be handy if that
radio broadcast ends up being true.
Let's use swords when
we have a shotgun.
It's not just any sword, okay?
My dad found it on a dig in Stonehenge.
Along with like an
ancient Egyptian battle axe.
But the sword...
I think he thought it was...
Maybe not quite Excalibur.
He definitely felt the
sword was special though.
He said it was coated in Orichalcum.
He said that the ancients believed that
it was a unique alloy that
was activated by certain words.
He spent years trying to throw different
frequencies at the sword,
seeing if he could get it to
change on a subatomic level.
It never seemed to work.
Maybe it's not as
special as he thought it was.
He did tell me though.
That's where we get the
English verb "to spell".
It was from the same
concept, you know?
Maybe it was indicative of
the power that words have.
As in magic?
Not quite magic, no.
But definitely having something to do
with quantum physics.
He thought maybe the right frequency
would change the sword
on a subatomic level.
Awaken special powers.
Make the wielder invisible and the sword
itself would become.
Yeah, unbreakable.
Can I see it?
Yeah, just be careful. It's my dad's.
You guys are amazing.
I seriously don't know how you did that.
Yeah, it has been fun to watch.
The cameras and
everything are still working?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything is battery operated.
Like how did you do it?
Like the alien jump. It was amazing.
Well, like Doug said, he wanted it to be
like the movie with crop circles and the
alien that jumps on the roof.
So we rigged the kite up and pretty much
vaulted it in the air like a puppet.
Yeah, we almost had a problem at first.
The light that was rigged onto the drone
didn't wake anyone up.
So I had to go in and
make some noise for
someone to come downstairs.
But everything else has
gone according to plan.
The cellphone jammer and
the fake radio broadcasts.
Wait, what about Rick and Missy?
Them leaving wasn't part of the script.
Yeah, we planned for all contingencies.
I put water in Rick's gas tank overnight
when we heard them
talking about leaving.
So they're probably
stuck by the side of the
road about an hour away right now.
We'll go in the morning and find them.
Oh yeah, and those other two actors that
you guys hired? Fucking nailed it.
No, those two weren't hired by our team.
So we roofied two complete strangers?
Yeah, I'll fix that in post by chance.
They don't sign a release form.
I'll just deep fake some random faces on
them and get an actor to dub their lines.
So we won't have any
legal hiccups later on.
This is hilarious.
Were you able to run a
background check on them at least?
No, unfortunately. Not yet.
We took the drone out there to their car
to get some aerial footage.
We were going to run their license plate,
but when I turned on the light,
the girl woke up and she
opened the door and passed out.
We were going to go check on her to see
if she was alright, not overdosing.
But then the guy she was with woke up.
So we had to wait for him to leave, and
we just didn't get a
chance to run the license plate.
I thought they were
acting the whole time.
Must have been the water
why they were so weird?
Anyway, I'm sure it's fine,
they went to Harvard and Oxford.
Plus, my brother is going to love
everything that we send him.
He's a big reality TV producer out in LA.
He's going to lose his
mind when he sees this.
Seriously, thank you guys.
Oh, and for the cars in the
driveway, I opened the hoods
and disconnected the battery
cables about 20 minutes ago.
So if anyone does try to leave, they'll
find the cars won't start.
Also, I went through
the entire house and
tried to hide anything that
could be used as an actual weapon
and stored what I did find in the attic.
I think the only concern is
the knives in the kitchen.
So Pam, just please be mindful and call
cut if anyone pulls a
knife or anything like that.
By the way. What did you
guys put in the water?
Well, originally we were going to try
LSD, but we weren't really
sure how well it would dilute.
So we decided to try something different.
It's this mild hallucinogenic excreted by
jungle worms in South.
America, similar to ayahuasca.
We put a bunch of worms in the water
tank. So the more everyone drinks the
water, the more
tripped out they'll become.
It's not really ethical, but...
But this is show business. I love it.
All right, here's the plan
for the rest of the night.
Ryan, you're going to
fly the drone around.
Pam, you're going to run
right up into the living room.
And scream, "THEY GOT DOUG!"
Yeah, something like that.
Anyways, try to direct him into the
bedroom. That's where I'll be hiding.
They're going to try to shoot me, and
it's going to seem like it has no effect
on me because we swapped
the real bullets with blanks.
So then I'll creep at him like that, and
hopefully they'll run away.
I know. Doug's been over
this with me a million times.
He told me he has to be perfect if it's
going to turn me into a Hollywood star.
I'm fucking sick of acting
in low budget indies.
I appreciate the A-list acting, Pam, but
safety is paramount
and comes far before
the performance. Understand?
Assuming they run to the car, Ryan's
going to fly the drone
around a little bit more.
I'll run towards the car in costume and
start banging on it. That
should be it for the night.
I think that's enough for
the pilot episode at least.
And we can just let everybody know this
has been a big reality television prank.
You guys can go back to
doing whatever you'd like to do.
I wish we could wait until morning,
though. This is just fun.
Yeah, well, after tonight
everybody is going to
be shitting their pants.
Good thing fucking misty isn't here.
This whole plan is butchered.
They've been recording us
the entire time, and I...
I think they put shrooms or something in
the water to fuck with our heads.
You know, they almost
ran our plates, too.
They could have found out
that the car was stolen.
And those stories we fed them about
college were bullshit.
They've been recording us.
Sounds like a reality show prank.
You know what that means?
We'll have to find a new house.
Yeah. And the cops. They'll find us if
that footage gets out.
So we have to act now. Okay, we can't
wait until they're asleep to do it.
We have to do it now,
and we have to take
them out one by one.
And we can't leave any evidence.
So, um, we've got to
burn this place down.
And then, um, you know, we'll just, um,
find some other rich
assholes' lives to
steal, how's that sound?
You get the ones inside.
They got Doug!
What do you mean?
There was a green light, and the window
was open, and he was just gone!
Where did it happen?
Our bedroom!
Let me check it out.
I'm coming with.
It was a light?
Is it green?
The same green light Kristin saw?
Do you see anything?
Do you think they killed the alien?
Let's hope so.
Will, come on!
What happened?
I shot the fucking
thing, I shot the fucking thing,
and nothing happened,
nothing happened!
That can't be.
We gotta get the fuck out
of here, let's go, let's go!
Wait, wait, it's not what you think!
Why won't the car start?
I don't know.
It was working fine earlier.
Just let me think!
Come on.
Come on.
Oh shit.
Shut up.
Hey, great fucking work.
This footage is going to be amazing.
All right.
Think that's a wrap, everybody.
I know Pam wants to keep this going,
but Ted is going to send us packing
and Miranda is going to throw a piss fit
if we keep this up.
How'd it go?
Still in character.
All right, well,
we're about to go say hi
to Hollywood's latest reality TV crew,
so you want to get ready?
We'll stay back
here and land the drone.
Okay, cool.
Let's go.
Why are the lights still off?
Very funny, Pam.
Come on, where is everybody?
Good act, come on.
Pam, what the fuck?
Are you, Pam, are you okay?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
No, Pam!