The Novice (2021) Movie Script
1
All right, class is over.
You finished first.
Why'd you take it twice?
I am and the... Hi.
Whoa! Slow down.
You don't gotta run.
You are all good.
Have a seat. You are good.
As I was saying, I'm Coach Pete.
I'm the novice rowing coach,
and I presume you guys
are all here for
the Wellington
Novice Rowing Program.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Okay, so, let's hear
why all of you
came to fly with
the Ravens. Yeah?
All right, we'll go from
the top. You, "caw."
Uh, some lady coach emailed me
and asked me to try out.
Said something about
scholarships
if you make it to
sophomore year.
Okay, well, it's
traditionally very hard
to move up to varsity,
but, I mean,
I personally would love to see
all of you guys move up,
but in the meantime,
I think we should all...
probably learn how to row,
and just have some fun, yeah?
Okay. You, "caw."
Caw. Like that?
Good.
Kidding. Um,
I thought it'd be like,
a good way to, like,
make friends.
Friends.
Why are you here?
- Um...
- Oh, here they are.
Say hi, everybody.
They're here to help us today.
The captain, Highsmith,
and the powerhouse of the 1V,
Janssen.
All right, so most of you guys
have been to the gym, right?
And you've seen how
the bros row.
Show 'em.
That's a bro row.
All right?
That's a one-way ticket
to a herniated disc.
We don't want that.
Janssen, show 'em how it's done.
Look at that.
You guys see the difference?
She's using her legs.
So most people think
rowing is about arms.
Those people are wrong.
It's legs and back, right?
Correctamundo, Brill
It's 60 to 70 percent
lower body.
Look at her rhythm.
Same way. Every time.
See that? Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs. In rhythm.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
You see that?
It's the same every time.
- Body, arms...
- Say it with me.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
- That's it.
- Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs,
- Legs, body...
- And you.
Hit the lost and found.
I'm sorry,
you can't row in that.
Yeah? Okay. Let's go. Good.
Let's go!
Step by step. Row. Good.
Posture. A little desperate.
Loose.
Raven claws.
Raven... Legs first.
Body then legs. Body, arms.
Line up to the bra strap.
Legs, body, arms.
That's groovy. Backwards.
Arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms.
Arms, body, legs.
Golden. Weigh enough.
Weigh enough.
Weigh enough then stop.
I mean, there's a better way
to do that,
but, you know.
Okay, guys!
It's 10,000 hours
to be an expert.
Right now we'll focus on
10,000 strokes, yeah?
Cement it!
Legs, body, arms.
Body, arms.
Yesterday, I just woke up
and I had this epiphany.
Like, everyone here was
the top of their high school.
We're all, like,
the same, you know?
Like big fish in a small pond.
Mm-hm.
And I know your mom's happy
that we're rooming together.
And, I mean, I'm so excited,
we've been dreaming about it
since, like, sixth grade.
Body, legs, arms.
Body, legs, arms.
Welcome, novice.
This is your boat house.
These are the eights over here,
fours over in bay five.
We got the singles, we'll
get into that later in the year.
But dive right in.
Cox.
I get it. It's funny.
That is your one laugh.
You used it up, guys.
There are a lot of funny words
in rowing.
There's cox. Shaft. Crab.
Excuse me.
There's crabs in the lake?
No. Catching a crab...
is rowing's version of a fumble.
It's, uh, you lose control of
the oar,
it could knock your teeth out.
It could literally
fling a girl off the boat.
It's no joke.
Okay. Erin is the 2V cox.
She'll be with us today.
She is your eyes out there because you
are literally rowing ass backwards.
She steers the boat, she does
the race plan, yada, yada.
She's the furthest thing from
just a cheerleader.
Up to shoulders. Ready?
Up.
Walk down. Watch your step.
And the tree.
Watch the dock!
All right, feet to the edge.
Sorry, excuse me,
it's just... it's raining,
- so maybe we could...
- Novice, I just said it's a water sport,
so you will get wet.
Up and over head. Ready? Up.
Down and into water.
Ready? Down.
Careful.
Graceful, novice.
Don't put a hole in the boat,
it costs 50K.
Sure you don't want to
go back to the novice stand?
Fifty fucking K for a boat?
Fifty K's, like, their
allowance.
They don't even give a shit.
It's raining again.
Ports, get the oars,
starboards, the oarlocks.
What?
Just the seat?
You just do it on the seat?
- Hands on the dock.
- Oh, I got it.
Lean away. Push.
Oars!
Arms, body, legs!
Legs, body, arms!
Arms, body, legs!
Okay, that... that's my fault.
No... No baggy clothes, people!
Okay?
It's like meant to be.
Also, those IV girls are,
like, so nice. Don't you think?
You mean 1V.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what I said, 1V.
Well, if you make the 1V,
you get a full scholarship,
so better watch out
because I'm comin' for it.
Right. Yeah.
- But I'm... I'm serious.
- Right.
I made starting varsity in
two sports in high school.
I mean, you're like the best
novice out of all of us,
so you probably have the
best chance out of all of us.
Yeah.
Also, did you know
Coach Edwards was novice
and she, like, became
an Olympian, so...
I don't give a shit about
the Olympics.
- Look where it got her.
- Right.
Yeah, she's coaching
a third rate team.
At a school where no one even
knows we have a rowing team.
Right. Yeah,
I don't care either.
I need a scholarship,
so I'm staying.
Yeah, I mean, like,
you're like the best novice.
I mean, you're like the best
novice out of all of us.
Scholarship, scholarship,
scholarship...
The best novice.
So you probably have the
best chance out of all of us.
Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.
Last 30 seconds.
Let's go!
Nice, Brill.
Smooth.
Steady.
That's what we like, ladies.
Steady.
Steady, steady.
Rhythm. Rhythm is everything.
Having fun, Zucker?
Making friends, rowing boats.
Nice, ladies.
Timing...
is everything.
Good job.
Hey, guys,
take a walk, grab a drink.
Take a break. Sit.
Jamie.
You played volleyball
or basketball?
Both.
I knew it.
You're a natural.
High 1:30s, low 1:40s.
- You did pretty good, then.
- Put it this way.
Over the course of
a 2,000 meter race,
if you get a 2 flat
and they get a 1:59.2,
they've beaten you by
a full boat length.
Races are won and lost by
100ths of a second.
Technique wins and loses races.
- Uh...
- You don't have to raise your hand.
So the varsity,
they do this workout a lot?
Today they did
the same workout as you.
Six times, and then they
hit the weights.
Okay, guys, next Friday is
your first 2K ERG test baseline.
What's a good time for that?
What's your name again?
- Alex Dall.
- Al... Dall, yeah, um...
take the average of your
500 meter time,
multiply them by four,
and then just add...
ten to 20 seconds.
How well do you think
I did today?
- Well, you did great.
- Okay.
'Cause I could do better.
How well did you think you did?
I think I did...
Arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms.
Arms, body, legs,
Legs, body, arms.
The party looks kinda shitty.
You sure it's
supposed to be good?
- They seem nice.
- What, a nice frat?
Okay, we can still go back.
- No, we're not going back.
- Watch out, watch out.
Excuse me, excuse me. Party up!
- There's not much left.
- Okay.
Drink the rest of it.
More.
One more. One more. You're good.
Let's do it.
Oh, my God.
Slow. Slow, slow.
- Shit, I think the condom slipped off.
- What?!
I literally had to fish it out.
Probably the worst
I ever had, so over eager.
Well, was he like bigger...
or, like, less so?
You know the cliche.
It's not about the...
size of the boat,
more about the motion
in the ocean.
Well, maybe the second time
will be better.
Are you kidding me?
I just wanted to get
the drunk college
one night stand out of the way.
Check. Done. Next.
Okay, well, positives.
You got to sleep in
your own bed.
I slept on the floor of some
sorority girl's room.
What?
Nothing.
- You're processing.
- I'm not processing.
I'm just trying to
figure something out.
Yeah, that's processing.
Mindfulness.
- Okay, relax.
- I'm relaxed.
Okay, 'cause you really shouldn't
be stressed about school.
You were the smartest
in our high school.
I'm not stressed about school
and I worked the hardest.
- There's a difference.
- Whatever.
Just remember, a 90 and 100
are both 4.0s in college.
Okay?
I was worried about you
senior year.
Speaking of weird.
Sorority, really?
I mean, they were
kind of cool, actually.
Now, I think I judged them
before really
getting to know them.
Hey.
Jamie.
What's up?
You took it three times today.
Find any mistakes?
- Always.
- Here's your last quiz.
See you next week.
- Where are the answers?
- Please don't argue with the grade.
- I'm not arguing with the grade.
- Office hours are Monday.
After fall break.
Do you want me to email
the professor for the answers?
- 'Cause I can do that.
- Well, maybe I should thank you.
Thank me? why?
All this time I spent
waiting on you,
I finished my applications
early.
To the school of rock?
Doctor programs. Astrophysics.
Top choice is U. of Chicago,
led by Dr. Friedman.
She calculated
the age of the universe.
Do you want me to pretend
to be impressed?
It's freshman year.
Take if from someone
who's been in your shoes.
Overdoing it.
Physics is my worst subject,
so I...
I kind of have to overdo it.
Aren't you a physics major?
Okay. I just need
the answer key.
13.7 billion years.
- What?
- Age of the universe.
I think it puts your
meaninglessness into perspective.
- I'll see you after break.
- You know, let me take you out sometime.
Make it up to you for all of
the time of yours I've wasted.
I'm a TA, I don't go out
with my students.
What are you doing?
Getting the answer key.
Thank you!
- Late!
- I know.
Hey, Brill.
What are you looking at?
See what time
I have to get to make varsity.
You're not gonna do the time
that coach recommended?
No.
I wasn't really trying
that hard,
so I don't think it's
very accurate.
7:59 seems doable.
7:59, 7:59.
7:59.
7:59.
7:55, Dall. Not bad.
7:49, Brill.
You two are on a roll.
Good job, novice.
Up, ladies, up!
In the words of Unk,
"walk it out."
Shit.
Good job, Dall.
Just take your time.
You earned it.
See you in the weight room.
Let's go, ladies.
- Okay, thank you.
- Okay.
We learned a lot.
Thank you. Bye.
Leave your sweatshirt.
Dall.
Rowing is not for everyone.
It's a big time commitment.
Not everyone is willing
to go the extra mile.
But I am, so if you could just
give me a chance on anything.
I mean, I... I could even maybe
stay after or later...
No, no, relax, relax.
My point is, uh,
Regatta in one week.
I thought it was three...
three weeks.
No, no, the novice Regatta
in three weeks.
The varsity is in one week.
We are making a fresh four
and I don't got enough varsity
to, uh, fill it,
so you'll start practicing with
the team in the mornings,
if you want,
every day for the next week.
- Me?
- Yeah, you. If you want.
Look, it's twice as much work
as you're doing now,
you gotta be there at
the lake at 5 a.m. every day.
And plus, the Regatta overlaps
with fall break,
and frankly, that pisses
a lot of girls off.
- So I don't want...
- I don't care.
I don't care, I can...
I can do that. I can to that.
I... I'd love to do that.
Awesome sauce.
Good. Get outta here. Scooch.
The only novice
to get moved up to varsity.
Yeah.
Well, double.
They practice at 5 a.m.
5 a.m.?
I thought practices were in
the afternoons.
Varsities do, uh, two days.
- Okay.
- When are you supposed to, like, sleep?
Yep. Okay. I love you.
Bye.
Hey. What's up?
Yo, um... I'm gonna
go to bed soon,
but do you want to
carpool tomorrow?
Um... I... I actually am
gonna be practicing
with the varsity tomorrow.
Duh! That's what I mean. Me too.
Coach Pete told me you're
the other novice moving up.
You wanna, uh, meet outside
Turner Hall at 4:30?
Yeah. Okay. Cool.
Cool.
Maybe we got the time wrong?
The email definitely said 5 a.m.
What if they're fucking with us?
God, this better not be
some hazing shit.
You and me have to
stick together.
Um... why would they be
fucking with us?
Uh, because varsity
does not want fresh meat
nipping at their heels.
And all the other novices,
they're just like,
"Oh, yeah, a fun intramural.
Ooh, ducks. Ooh, friends."
We actually need this shit.
God, when Coach Pete
reached out to me
and basically said I was gonna
get a scholarship,
I mean, I'm not religious
but, like, fuck.
Also, Rachel's such
a little bitch,
she didn't give a shit when
they offered her the spot.
She just booked a flight
for fall break.
It's probably first class, too.
Silver spoon bitch.
Honestly, your lucky break,
though.
They offered the spot to Rachel?
Yes.
But, honestly, it's her loss.
And you try way harder
than her, so...
Sure as shit need it
more than her, too.
These novices are gonna
drop like flies.
I know it. I just...
know it.
Try-hard? Gone.
Rachel? Gonna be gone.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah?
It's so much better doing it
with another person.
You know? Way more fun.
We got this. You know?
Oh!
Let's go.
You're late, novice.
Yeah, sorry, we were just...
Freshman four, over here.
All right, we're doing
novice sandwiches this week.
Moore, four. Dall, you're three.
You've rode starboard before,
right?
Yeah, I've rode starboard
before, and port,
so I can do both.
Whichever one you want.
So, Dall three.
Mitchell, two. Brill,
you got bow, okay?
All right, hurry the fuck up
and grab the boat.
I'm stuck with you dumbasses
this week.
Don't piss me off.
Anyone see lightning?
No? Well, friggin' tell me
if you do.
I'm not getting electrocuted
for a freshman boat.
Stern pair, pick drill. Ready?
Row.
Whoa, wait up.
All right, novice, pick drill.
First arms,
then arms and bodies,
then quarter side,
half side, full side.
Got it? Okay. Ready? Row.
All four, watch your hands!
- Jesus Christ.
- In full.
And two. One.
Two.
Jesus, novice, you're
turning the whole boat.
Light strokes.
Lightly.
You know what?
Fuck it, fuck it, wait up.
Check it down.
Lightly.
All right, enough of that.
Bow pair.
Get ready.
Row!
Get that up.
That is what I'm talking about.
That's what it looks like.
See, she's a natural.
The other one isn't.
Three seat, set the boat.
Novice in the back,
behind the freshmen.
Let's go.
And then back, all the way.
All right, no more
shits on the bus, people.
Thelma, I'm talking to you.
I don't want to smell it.
No. Novice in the back.
Fuck you, we're a team.
Am I right, guys? Come on.
Come on! Let's go!
- Water?
- No, no, hold on.
How'd it go today?
Heard you caught a crab, huh?
It happens.
How was it, though?
Today? Your first race?
Well, considering it was
my fault we lost, I...
It's not the fault of the person
who caught the crab.
It means the technique on
the entire boat is off.
Not one person wins
or loses a race.
I think I just got tired
and my oar slipped so...
I couldn't frickin' feel my legs
and, uh,
just need to get stronger.
Can you give yourself
a break, please?
When you focus on
your technique for a bit,
it'll come.
And remember what I said.
It's 10,000 hours
to be an expert.
You literally just started.
Relax.
Will you?
I'm just gonna go to
the bathroom.
Right.
Jesus Christ, move.
Little people freeze faster.
All right, bitch.
Welcome, novice.
Your first practice
with varsity.
Well, for most of you.
Varsity, the novice
will be practicing...
- Hey, listen up.
- Sorry.
Please. Thank you.
The novice will be practicing
with us until the new year.
I want you to set an example
for them.
All right.
I want you to set
an example for them.
Show them how hard you work.
Show them what it's like to
fight for a 2K PR,
and keep in mind, some of them
might be moving up one day.
They'll be part of your team,
and your competition.
It's a good motivation
going into the new year.
For everyone.
All right.
Put your stuff away,
grab an ERG and warm up.
Brill, do we got an issue today?
- No.
- Good.
- Whoo!
- Ready?
Oh, my God, I was born ready.
Long time, bro.
Yeah.
You ready?
Yeah, I think so.
That's my ERG.
Novice in the back.
Novice, in the back.
Sorry, I... I didn't know.
Just take some time, all right?
- Pete!
- All right.
Fuck.
We're going to the trainer,
novice.
Earth to Dall.
You don't have to kill yourself
in the last 2K of the semester.
Coaches know everyone sucks
this time of year.
Still wasn't enough.
You're never gonna get
a seven minute 2K
if that's what you think.
You're just not built for it.
Besides, you fuckin' PR'ed
at 7:45.
The best novice time.
7:45.5.
And there are only
five novice left.
Well, assuming we do seat races,
you'll probably end up in
the 2V, anyway.
A what?
Fugh!
Technique doesn't matter
on the ERG,
but it matters in the water.
Hence, a seat race to tell
who's actually making the boat
move faster.
Okay, so?
Okay, so two people race against
one another in fours,
do one piece,
then the people seat racing
swap,
but the rest of the crew stays
the same,
go again, run the numbers,
blah and blah.
So you're saying
I need to seat race.
Weirdo, chill. It's drama...
Ew! Don't get piss on me.
Seriously,
it's drama fucking city.
This girl in my high school got
kicked off the team
for trying to throw one.
So, should I ask Edwards?
I could ask for, like, next week.
No, you don't demand shit
from Edwards.
Besides, I heard she does them
every spring break
to finalize lineups.
- So that's my shot.
- No.
2K ERG tests matter.
The seat race, the dumb-ass
around-the-lake rows.
Edwards takes these tests
really seriously.
Just keep doing
what you're doing.
But, like, relax.
Seat racers swap, rest of
the crew stays the same...
Seat racers swap, rest of
the crew stays the same
go again, run the numbers,
blah and blah.
You went through it three times.
You've been here
two hours and 44 minutes.
I'm going home.
I still have six minutes.
Hey!
You gotta know when to quit.
Fuck!
- Dall?
- Hey, coach, hi.
- I was just...
- You were...
Shouldn't you be stuffed in
a library somewhere
- studying right now?
- Yeah.
And there's a reason we don't
have practices during exams.
NCAA reasons, but, uh,
I don't know,
we care about you, too,
at least I do.
- Yeah.
- You're a student athlete, Dall.
Student comes first, so
would you repeat after me.
Student athlete.
I'm a student athlete.
I just did a 2K and a PR.
Awesome sauce.
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm trying to get better.
Before you do that,
why don't you...
Don't leave me hangin'.
Weight adjusted,
I guess it's, uh...
- it's okay.
- Weight adjusted?
What? Where'd you learn that?
Well, I figured...
the force generated by
a more powerful rower
might be offset by their weight
if their boat gets pushed into
the water more by their weight.
'Cause the more surface area of
the boat in the water,
the more friction causes
the boat to slow down.
If there was
a weight adjustment...
Weight adjustment calculators.
Look, don't focus on
the numbers, okay?
That is enough to
drive me crazy. I...
Um, yeah, well, I'm taking
a winter mini-mester,
so at least that way I can
at least use the ERG room.
I want to get stronger.
Uh, I've got
a tip for you, Dall.
It's not all about strength.
And are you using the ERG room
'cause you're taking
a winter-mester,
or are you taking
a winter-mester
just so you can use
the ERG room?
I don't even want to know
if that's the answer.
I... I want to do 2Ks
every day this break.
I will chain the ERG room shut.
There's an ERG in the gym.
Oh, my God, you're...
a lot.
Okay. Um...
Maybe...
Maybe you can spend
some time on the single,
work on some technique.
I didn't know I was allowed
to row during break.
- I'll do it.
- Well, usually,
it's meant for
experienced girls,
and it's usually done
in the summer,
'cause the boat's easy to flip.
Okay, well, I'll be careful,
I'll stay close to the dock.
It's not me you gotta convince.
Coach Edwards.
She has to unlock
the boat house.
- Can't you do it?
- No.
I have in-law visitation duty,
which is my own thing,
but, anyway, no.
She's the boss lady.
And, uh, she lives walking
distance to the boat house
so, I don't know, why don't you
shoot her a text.
I'm sure she'll
let you right in.
Why am I not surprised to
see you here during break?
You're here.
What are you doing Saturday?
Why?
Playing a little
school of rock set
at the historic Red Dog.
You should stop by.
I thought you don't date
students.
Who said it was a date?
Yeah, Mom. Well, the plan is...
is to drive in on Christmas Eve,
and then I'm gonna go back
on, uh, Christmas Day.
Okay, well, the day after.
Well...
No, I'm good.
Yeah.
Well, why have you been
talking to Winona?
No. I'm going to bed right now.
- ID.
- Hm.
Go.
- Hi.
- What can I get you?
Um, can I get
a vodka soda, please.
Well, aren't you
full of surprises.
Are you of age?
Uh, I'm in here, right?
I invited you
expecting you to get
turned away at the door.
Okay, then.
Hey. Hey.
I was just kidding.
Just kidding.
Well, kinda.
- Five minutes.
- Okay.
- I'll see you after?
- Okay.
Thank you.
All right, guys,
so this next song
is actually a new song we wrote.
I hope you guys like it.
And afterwards, we have
the Paper Shakers,
so stick around.
Daddy
I never thought
I'd love a man
I never thought
A man could understand
Everything I am
Like a woman
Everything I am
Like a woman
How can I trust
Who in trust
have let me down
Every man
Every man that come around
Willow
Swings in the wind
Reminds me of you...
Because I'm not who,
oh, God told me
God knows and
haven't told me
I'm bold and stronger
than the pain
This bed is so lonely
The world I see
I paint a portrait of you
Over the cobwebs
in the corner
My bones are sewn
They're right where
I want to be
Somewhere in between...
and the blue sea
Because I'm not who,
oh, God told me
God knows and
haven't told me
I've grown stronger
than pain...
So is there
some type of weaknesses,
do you have some type of
imbalances...
Thanks so much for,
um, meeting me so early.
I've been up since five.
I just wanted to get
some extra practice in
since other girls are
so much bigger than I am.
No. Those.
Okay.
Look, have you even rowed
a single before?
'Cause if not, you're gonna wait
until we take 'em out as a team.
No, I have.
- I have.
- Good thing.
Water's cold.
Shoot me a text
when you're done.
Let me know
the boat's back safe.
Cool.
Mm, 'kay
- You're late, Dall.
- Yeah.
You know, the girls
who row in summer
usually come later.
Yeah, well,
I have class at 9:30.
So... Have you seen my umbrella?
- No.
- Okay.
- Come in if you see lightning.
- Okay!
Late again, Dall?
I'm here.
You know, you could just
give me the key.
You don't need a key.
Just slam the door.
Look who's on time and dry.
Shit.
Sorry, I just thought
it would be quicker
if I came here.
Opens the boat house.
You're lookin' good out there.
I didn't know you were watching.
That's the point.
Six a.m., Monday morning.
I mean, why's he interviewing
a whole bunch of deans at
a dinner table or something.
I can't get a word in edge...
I don't know what I'm...
- Hey.
- Hi.
How you doin'?
Um, Alex, this is Dani, my TA.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
Yeah, you're both pursuing
physics, right?
I'm actually underage, so...
Oh. Underage.
Did you, uh, TA
for my class last semester?
Oh, the class was so big.
And it's been so long.
Well, the two of you
should get acquainted.
Alex is, uh, one of our
presidential scholars.
And Dani here just actually got
into her top choice school.
You did? Congratulations.
Thank you.
That's a sweet cardigan.
Is this the line for
the bathroom?
Right.
It's warm in here.
What, do you like me now that
you know I'm leaving?
I'm just waiting for
the bathroom.
You don't date
your students, so...
there's also that.
You're not my student anymore.
Oh, you said you were
good at this.
So freshman year of high school
my mother said that I should
enroll in some honors classes
so that way I could
challenge myself,
which was a huge mistake.
Yeah, sure, Miss 4.0.
You've seen what I have to do
to get an A.
- Valid.
- Great. Okay.
So I was about to transfer out,
but there was this smart ass
douchy future frat bro
who was always talking about me.
He would always finish first,
and then humble brag about
how he never studied.
So obviously,
when he asked me out,
- I turned him down.
- Oh, no.
This one class,
we got our grades back,
and he saw mine, which was a C,
and he goes, "If you took
the regular class",
then you would probably
get an A."
Oh, no he didn't.
I decided, fuck him. I was gonna
beat him on the next test.
I was gonna turn it in first
and I was gonna get
the better grade,
- so I studied my ass off and...
- And beat him.
Well, I got a C but
I did turn it in first.
And it hit me, like,
if I was rushing and making
all these mistakes,
then surely he must too,
because there's no way,
no matter how smart
this guy was,
he didn't miss one.
So the next time,
I took my time.
- And you beat him.
- Uh, no.
Well, I got... I got
my first B in that class.
Okay? But the next time,
I double checked my work,
I re-did the test,
- and then...
- You beat him.
I tied him.
The time after that...
- You beat him.
- Yes, I beat him!
- It's your turn.
- I know.
Now, everyone knew that
this guy was gonna graduate
valedictorian,
but he only took the minimum
classes needed to graduate.
Well, I took a full load of
honors classes to weight my GPS.
He didn't study, but I did.
He was smarter,
but I worked harder.
- And you became valedictorian?
- Still no.
Some girl transferred in
junior year, beat us both.
But I did graduate salutatorian
and he was third.
Bumped off the podium entirely.
So that's how it all began.
Somebody pissed you off
and you got revenge.
You don't know how many people
gave me high fives
during graduation, okay?
This guy irritated everyone.
So it was about the high fives
and standing at the podium?
No? Come on, give me something.
Well, why did we go to the moon?
Oh, God.
No, no, really, tell me.
Why did we go to
some lifeless rock?
Come on. Don't break my heart.
Wasn't it just some huge
propaganda factory
and ego trips,
that way, we could prove
as Americans
that we were superior to
the Russians?
- Ooh.
- Who even cares that we got there first?
We had bigger shit
to worry about.
We had people starving,
civil rights, wars.
Okay? All we got out of it was
a bunch of dead astronauts
and huge deficit.
It was totally pointless.
I can't believe you're
a physics major,
and you're shit talking
space travel.
- Mm-hm.
- The advancements of technology because of that.
- Okay.
- The sense of national pride.
Mm-hm.
Not that I give a shit
about that.
- Oh, no.
- To test our limits as a species,
to see if we could.
What was it Kennedy said?
We do it not because it's easy,
- but because it's hard.
- Yes!
Wow. Just wow.
- No, it's my turn.
- No way.
- Let me show you how to...
- No.
All right, ladies,
welcome back after
your winter break.
And I don't care if you've been
sitting on your asses
for the last two weeks,
you are about to get moving.
Welcome to hell.
All right, Janssen...
You okay?
Yeah, just, uh...
just this little thing,
no big deal.
Hm?
I said, nice to see
a novice move up.
Hey, Groundsman, Dall,
what are we waiting for?
It's practice. Let's go.
Nice work, Groundsman and Dall.
Everyone, this is
the work ethic I'm after.
Okay? The schools we're
going up against
are bigger,
they've got more money,
more rowers,
but we can work harder.
When you're doing it right,
the oar will make a V
from the back splash.
Push before you pull.
Guys, more of that.
That's it! Alex.
Okay, bring it up.
Time!
That's it, ladies!
Move! Move!
What do I do with this?
All right.
Let's go!
Push it here!
Yes!
Paddle! Paddle!
We won this one.
Weigh enough, girls.
Their silver spoon asses
got soft, I guess.
Coach is gonna have to
seat our asses.
Shut the fuck up!
Who the fuck are you talking to?
We just lost to 2V boat.
Do you realize
how embarrassing that is?
Do you realize that?
You know, my roommate's
probably waking up hungover
at her all-inclusive right now,
and we've already
worked out six hours.
Anyone can party
on spring break.
Not us, apparently.
Also, it's been four days
and there have been
no mention of seat races at all.
That's fuckin' bullshit.
Erin said that they'd be
later this week.
No. Coach can't accept that
our reject boat
beat her recruited stars.
Also, Janssen said
the only reason we won
was because the cox
charted a shit course.
That's why we need a seat race.
That way, we know for sure.
Mm.
Shut up, Janssen.
Still here.
Nice work today, stern pair.
We were actually hoping
that we'd get to seat race.
Crews are always changing,
so just, uh,
keep up the good work.
Get some sleep, eat well,
and we'll see you
dark and early.
We beat the 1V in the scrimmage.
Yes. The 1V had a few
technical difficulties.
But, uh, you two, you rode
a really good race.
And if there are technical
difficulties on race day,
then what, we lose?
Why don't you keep your head
in your boat where it belongs,
and, uh, we'll worry about
the rest, all right?
Good?
Fuck.
It's bullshit.
She fucking scouted me.
She promised me
that scholarship.
- We'll get our chance.
- No, I fucking need this, man.
Like, I really need this
right now.
Don't know what the fuck
I was thinking coming here.
I'm a fucking idiot.
If I don't get this, I have to
transfer to a state school.
I can't fucking live
with my dad.
I fucking can't.
I should have tried out for
basketball or something.
And now there's no fucking time,
and I thought this was
a guarantee.
And now some entitled bitches
and fucking seniority bullshit
are ruining my shot.
Our fucking shot.
I'm gonna say something to
Highsmith later.
Do you think that's a good idea?
Why the fuck do I care?
What have I got to lose?
Absolutely nothing.
She fucking graduates
in a couple months.
She doesn't need the 1V, we do.
This one is my favorite.
- Can we post it?
- Yeah, if you want.
Which one's your favorite?
Um, I like this one.
Larry looks great.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
All right, everyone,
we have some news.
Groundman is out.
Whoa, what?
That pain in her shoulder?
Turns out,
her collarbone's broken.
It's been hurting her for weeks.
This thing has been broken
this whole time?
Yeah, it's fucking insane.
So, listen to your bodies,
people.
Where's Edwards at?
All right, those of you
who are not on the board,
y'all are doing 60 minute run.
The rest of you are in fours.
Hands on.
Hey.
How are you?
They were supposed to row
the same in both races.
There's no way to know if...
They rowed hard for Brill,
they rowed light for me.
They wanted me to lose.
- Fuck this.
- Dall, come here.
- I heard them all talking.
- Dall...
- They were all in on it.
- Get over here, novice.
Be careful.
You have years of rowing left.
That's years of
a lot of these girls.
You'll make the 1V a year,
maybe two.
- This isn't fair.
- No, it's not.
But life isn't fair.
That's so easy for you to say.
Is it? Where's my seat race?
I was in the boat
that won the scrimmage.
I charted the best course.
You don't see me throwing a fit.
You have to decide if this is
the hill you want to die on.
Trust me.
It's not.
Hey, I know you're late but
your name's on the list.
- Okay, I...
- See you at the Parkhurst.
All right, all right.
Be there in an hour.
So sorry.
Please accept my apology.
But love is blind,
and I was too blind to see.
Shit.
You good dude?
Dall, that's my ERG.
Dall!
You're kidding me, right?
You couldn't let Highsmith
row next to me?
- We're gonna be a pair.
- I know.
Congrats, man. Great.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why'd you do it?
Do what?
Wait, you're pissed about
the seat race?
Yeah, you could have beat me
fair and square. So...
Yeah, I'm sorry you lost,
but at least you could be
cool about it.
Yeah, you should have beat me
fair and square.
I don't even know what the fuck
you're talking about.
Can you fucking stop?
You know, the difference between
you and me is that
I actually put in
the extra work.
You have all this talk about
silver spoon bitches,
and look who's Audi
you're riding in right now.
You know what? Fuck you!
- I do what I have to.
- Oh, my God.
Something you wouldn't
actually understand.
This whole time,
I thought you needed this.
I really did. But you're just
another silver spoon bitch.
This is you. Yeah?
Alex Dall.
Presidential scholar.
I actually thought they were
fucking with me.
Trying to put a wedge
between us, but...
there it is.
Oh, and I checked.
Presidential scholars,
they get a full ride.
I never said I needed
a scholarship.
Sure as shit let me think it.
You know, this whole team thinks
you're fucking insane.
I was your friend.
I had your back from day one.
And you were
supposed to have mine.
You were my friend until
I actually became a threat.
- The second I'm your competition...
- Fuck you!
You turned on me!
You don't fucking need this.
You don't need it.
So what difference does it make
if you're in the 1V or the 2V?
We can't be psychotic like you.
Some of us have lives.
Yeah, your mistake is that
you always stick to
what you're good at.
You could have
fucking earned it.
You know, the funny thing...
about teams...
which you actually
wouldn't understand
seeing as you've
never been on a team...
is that you don't have to
like each other.
But you do have to
respect each other.
And no one respects you, Dall.
I won that seat race.
You've got to start
taking care of yourself.
You'll ruin the scholarship
you do have.
For what?
My grades are good.
- Are they?
- Mm-hm.
I spoke to your new TA.
You... What's your problem?
My problem? I don't know.
What's yours?
You're majoring in your
worst subject, Alex.
- Mm-hm.
- Okay, you like a challenge.
Taking tests four times
Overkill, right? But for you,
it works. I get it.
Now you're trying to apply
the same obsessive logic
to rowing.
It just doesn't work.
You've got to let it go.
Look.
I'm not wrong here.
Beating yourself to a pulp
trying to get your team to say,
"Good job, you earned this."
Just like in high school,
all for high fives and a podium.
- No.
- You gotta relax.
Oh, my God.
You know, I am so sick and tired
of everyone in my life
telling me to relax.
Okay?
Relaxing should be a privilege,
not a fucking standard.
If everyone sat on their asses
and did nothing
all this, this would
cease to exist.
If you didn't practice with
your fucking band...
I mean, maybe if you
practiced more,
you would be more than
just an opener.
You think you know things
about me?
I haven't told you shit
about me.
You don't know anything
about me.
I didn't go to graduation
and have high fives
and a fucking podium, okay?
I didn't even go to graduation.
Because I was 51/50'd
by all the people in my life,
yourself included, who kept
telling me to fucking relax!
I'm not gonna relax!
You don't know how hard it is
for me to be the best.
How hard I have to push myself
to be the best.
Second best.
Wow. Just... Okay.
- You think I don't see you?
- Just stop.
Just... Dani, stop.
Stop. No. Don't. Just stop it!
You're self-immolating
on a loop.
Just quit.
Don't. It's just...
You don't under...
I don't think you're ever
gonna feel good.
You don't understand.
You don't understand!
You'll never understand.
I can't keep watching
you do this to yourself.
Don't watch anymore.
Don't. We always knew this had
an end date, right?
All right.
Next week, we will have our
spring around-the-lake row.
Okay, we'll knock it out
in four days,
There will be a sign up sheet,
first come, first served.
Now, this will help determine
championship line-ups,
but more importantly,
let's have fun.
Bullshit.
Why do seniors have to do this?
- It's our last week.
- Shut up, Janssen.
You know I'm coming for
your record, Highsmith.
Yeah, we'll see.
So there's a record?
Look, it's meant to be fun.
Okay?
- What is it?
- So...
What's the record?
I, uh... I... I don't know it
off the top of my head.
Do you know it?
Do you know what it is?
It's your record, Highsmith.
Do you not know your own record?
Does anyone know
Highsmith's record?
You know, it's not actually
even important...
Fourteen minutes flat.
Right. Thank you, Erin.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Excuse me. Thanks.
- There's a line.
- Oh! Okay, sure.
What the fuck, dude?
It's supposed to be fun.
I'm not rowing against you,
psycho.
It's your last week,
and you already beat me
in the seat race
so what do you guys
have to worry about?
Fucking stupid.
Piece of shit.
Janssen, Mitchell, and Dall.
It's gonna rain.
Say it with me, ladies.
We row in the rain.
Not in the lightning.
Any signs of it, head in.
Otherwise, I will see you
at the finish line.
Ready?
Row!
This is bullshit!
I'm motherfucking freezing!
Fuck!
Watch your point!
What the fuck!
- There's lightning.
- There's no lightning.
- Fucking lightning!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Fuck you!
- You're gonna hit my oar!
Fuck off!
Fuck!
You rocked my boat!
Fuck you!
Lightning!
Lightning!
There's lightning!
Look!
Yield!
You fuckin' yield!
Yield! You're gonna
fucking hit me.
Fuck!
Ahh!
Fuck!
Fuck.
It's lightning!
Keep rowing through!
Lightning, we have to go in!
Keep rowing!
Alex, we're going in!
Keep rowing!
- Alex!
- Keep rowing!
Keep rowing!
Keep rowing!
Keep rowing.
All right, class is over.
You finished first.
Why'd you take it twice?
I am and the... Hi.
Whoa! Slow down.
You don't gotta run.
You are all good.
Have a seat. You are good.
As I was saying, I'm Coach Pete.
I'm the novice rowing coach,
and I presume you guys
are all here for
the Wellington
Novice Rowing Program.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Okay, so, let's hear
why all of you
came to fly with
the Ravens. Yeah?
All right, we'll go from
the top. You, "caw."
Uh, some lady coach emailed me
and asked me to try out.
Said something about
scholarships
if you make it to
sophomore year.
Okay, well, it's
traditionally very hard
to move up to varsity,
but, I mean,
I personally would love to see
all of you guys move up,
but in the meantime,
I think we should all...
probably learn how to row,
and just have some fun, yeah?
Okay. You, "caw."
Caw. Like that?
Good.
Kidding. Um,
I thought it'd be like,
a good way to, like,
make friends.
Friends.
Why are you here?
- Um...
- Oh, here they are.
Say hi, everybody.
They're here to help us today.
The captain, Highsmith,
and the powerhouse of the 1V,
Janssen.
All right, so most of you guys
have been to the gym, right?
And you've seen how
the bros row.
Show 'em.
That's a bro row.
All right?
That's a one-way ticket
to a herniated disc.
We don't want that.
Janssen, show 'em how it's done.
Look at that.
You guys see the difference?
She's using her legs.
So most people think
rowing is about arms.
Those people are wrong.
It's legs and back, right?
Correctamundo, Brill
It's 60 to 70 percent
lower body.
Look at her rhythm.
Same way. Every time.
See that? Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs. In rhythm.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
You see that?
It's the same every time.
- Body, arms...
- Say it with me.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs.
- That's it.
- Legs, body, arms,
arms, body, legs,
- Legs, body...
- And you.
Hit the lost and found.
I'm sorry,
you can't row in that.
Yeah? Okay. Let's go. Good.
Let's go!
Step by step. Row. Good.
Posture. A little desperate.
Loose.
Raven claws.
Raven... Legs first.
Body then legs. Body, arms.
Line up to the bra strap.
Legs, body, arms.
That's groovy. Backwards.
Arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms.
Arms, body, legs.
Golden. Weigh enough.
Weigh enough.
Weigh enough then stop.
I mean, there's a better way
to do that,
but, you know.
Okay, guys!
It's 10,000 hours
to be an expert.
Right now we'll focus on
10,000 strokes, yeah?
Cement it!
Legs, body, arms.
Body, arms.
Yesterday, I just woke up
and I had this epiphany.
Like, everyone here was
the top of their high school.
We're all, like,
the same, you know?
Like big fish in a small pond.
Mm-hm.
And I know your mom's happy
that we're rooming together.
And, I mean, I'm so excited,
we've been dreaming about it
since, like, sixth grade.
Body, legs, arms.
Body, legs, arms.
Welcome, novice.
This is your boat house.
These are the eights over here,
fours over in bay five.
We got the singles, we'll
get into that later in the year.
But dive right in.
Cox.
I get it. It's funny.
That is your one laugh.
You used it up, guys.
There are a lot of funny words
in rowing.
There's cox. Shaft. Crab.
Excuse me.
There's crabs in the lake?
No. Catching a crab...
is rowing's version of a fumble.
It's, uh, you lose control of
the oar,
it could knock your teeth out.
It could literally
fling a girl off the boat.
It's no joke.
Okay. Erin is the 2V cox.
She'll be with us today.
She is your eyes out there because you
are literally rowing ass backwards.
She steers the boat, she does
the race plan, yada, yada.
She's the furthest thing from
just a cheerleader.
Up to shoulders. Ready?
Up.
Walk down. Watch your step.
And the tree.
Watch the dock!
All right, feet to the edge.
Sorry, excuse me,
it's just... it's raining,
- so maybe we could...
- Novice, I just said it's a water sport,
so you will get wet.
Up and over head. Ready? Up.
Down and into water.
Ready? Down.
Careful.
Graceful, novice.
Don't put a hole in the boat,
it costs 50K.
Sure you don't want to
go back to the novice stand?
Fifty fucking K for a boat?
Fifty K's, like, their
allowance.
They don't even give a shit.
It's raining again.
Ports, get the oars,
starboards, the oarlocks.
What?
Just the seat?
You just do it on the seat?
- Hands on the dock.
- Oh, I got it.
Lean away. Push.
Oars!
Arms, body, legs!
Legs, body, arms!
Arms, body, legs!
Okay, that... that's my fault.
No... No baggy clothes, people!
Okay?
It's like meant to be.
Also, those IV girls are,
like, so nice. Don't you think?
You mean 1V.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what I said, 1V.
Well, if you make the 1V,
you get a full scholarship,
so better watch out
because I'm comin' for it.
Right. Yeah.
- But I'm... I'm serious.
- Right.
I made starting varsity in
two sports in high school.
I mean, you're like the best
novice out of all of us,
so you probably have the
best chance out of all of us.
Yeah.
Also, did you know
Coach Edwards was novice
and she, like, became
an Olympian, so...
I don't give a shit about
the Olympics.
- Look where it got her.
- Right.
Yeah, she's coaching
a third rate team.
At a school where no one even
knows we have a rowing team.
Right. Yeah,
I don't care either.
I need a scholarship,
so I'm staying.
Yeah, I mean, like,
you're like the best novice.
I mean, you're like the best
novice out of all of us.
Scholarship, scholarship,
scholarship...
The best novice.
So you probably have the
best chance out of all of us.
Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.
Last 30 seconds.
Let's go!
Nice, Brill.
Smooth.
Steady.
That's what we like, ladies.
Steady.
Steady, steady.
Rhythm. Rhythm is everything.
Having fun, Zucker?
Making friends, rowing boats.
Nice, ladies.
Timing...
is everything.
Good job.
Hey, guys,
take a walk, grab a drink.
Take a break. Sit.
Jamie.
You played volleyball
or basketball?
Both.
I knew it.
You're a natural.
High 1:30s, low 1:40s.
- You did pretty good, then.
- Put it this way.
Over the course of
a 2,000 meter race,
if you get a 2 flat
and they get a 1:59.2,
they've beaten you by
a full boat length.
Races are won and lost by
100ths of a second.
Technique wins and loses races.
- Uh...
- You don't have to raise your hand.
So the varsity,
they do this workout a lot?
Today they did
the same workout as you.
Six times, and then they
hit the weights.
Okay, guys, next Friday is
your first 2K ERG test baseline.
What's a good time for that?
What's your name again?
- Alex Dall.
- Al... Dall, yeah, um...
take the average of your
500 meter time,
multiply them by four,
and then just add...
ten to 20 seconds.
How well do you think
I did today?
- Well, you did great.
- Okay.
'Cause I could do better.
How well did you think you did?
I think I did...
Arms, body, legs.
Legs, body, arms.
Arms, body, legs,
Legs, body, arms.
The party looks kinda shitty.
You sure it's
supposed to be good?
- They seem nice.
- What, a nice frat?
Okay, we can still go back.
- No, we're not going back.
- Watch out, watch out.
Excuse me, excuse me. Party up!
- There's not much left.
- Okay.
Drink the rest of it.
More.
One more. One more. You're good.
Let's do it.
Oh, my God.
Slow. Slow, slow.
- Shit, I think the condom slipped off.
- What?!
I literally had to fish it out.
Probably the worst
I ever had, so over eager.
Well, was he like bigger...
or, like, less so?
You know the cliche.
It's not about the...
size of the boat,
more about the motion
in the ocean.
Well, maybe the second time
will be better.
Are you kidding me?
I just wanted to get
the drunk college
one night stand out of the way.
Check. Done. Next.
Okay, well, positives.
You got to sleep in
your own bed.
I slept on the floor of some
sorority girl's room.
What?
Nothing.
- You're processing.
- I'm not processing.
I'm just trying to
figure something out.
Yeah, that's processing.
Mindfulness.
- Okay, relax.
- I'm relaxed.
Okay, 'cause you really shouldn't
be stressed about school.
You were the smartest
in our high school.
I'm not stressed about school
and I worked the hardest.
- There's a difference.
- Whatever.
Just remember, a 90 and 100
are both 4.0s in college.
Okay?
I was worried about you
senior year.
Speaking of weird.
Sorority, really?
I mean, they were
kind of cool, actually.
Now, I think I judged them
before really
getting to know them.
Hey.
Jamie.
What's up?
You took it three times today.
Find any mistakes?
- Always.
- Here's your last quiz.
See you next week.
- Where are the answers?
- Please don't argue with the grade.
- I'm not arguing with the grade.
- Office hours are Monday.
After fall break.
Do you want me to email
the professor for the answers?
- 'Cause I can do that.
- Well, maybe I should thank you.
Thank me? why?
All this time I spent
waiting on you,
I finished my applications
early.
To the school of rock?
Doctor programs. Astrophysics.
Top choice is U. of Chicago,
led by Dr. Friedman.
She calculated
the age of the universe.
Do you want me to pretend
to be impressed?
It's freshman year.
Take if from someone
who's been in your shoes.
Overdoing it.
Physics is my worst subject,
so I...
I kind of have to overdo it.
Aren't you a physics major?
Okay. I just need
the answer key.
13.7 billion years.
- What?
- Age of the universe.
I think it puts your
meaninglessness into perspective.
- I'll see you after break.
- You know, let me take you out sometime.
Make it up to you for all of
the time of yours I've wasted.
I'm a TA, I don't go out
with my students.
What are you doing?
Getting the answer key.
Thank you!
- Late!
- I know.
Hey, Brill.
What are you looking at?
See what time
I have to get to make varsity.
You're not gonna do the time
that coach recommended?
No.
I wasn't really trying
that hard,
so I don't think it's
very accurate.
7:59 seems doable.
7:59, 7:59.
7:59.
7:59.
7:55, Dall. Not bad.
7:49, Brill.
You two are on a roll.
Good job, novice.
Up, ladies, up!
In the words of Unk,
"walk it out."
Shit.
Good job, Dall.
Just take your time.
You earned it.
See you in the weight room.
Let's go, ladies.
- Okay, thank you.
- Okay.
We learned a lot.
Thank you. Bye.
Leave your sweatshirt.
Dall.
Rowing is not for everyone.
It's a big time commitment.
Not everyone is willing
to go the extra mile.
But I am, so if you could just
give me a chance on anything.
I mean, I... I could even maybe
stay after or later...
No, no, relax, relax.
My point is, uh,
Regatta in one week.
I thought it was three...
three weeks.
No, no, the novice Regatta
in three weeks.
The varsity is in one week.
We are making a fresh four
and I don't got enough varsity
to, uh, fill it,
so you'll start practicing with
the team in the mornings,
if you want,
every day for the next week.
- Me?
- Yeah, you. If you want.
Look, it's twice as much work
as you're doing now,
you gotta be there at
the lake at 5 a.m. every day.
And plus, the Regatta overlaps
with fall break,
and frankly, that pisses
a lot of girls off.
- So I don't want...
- I don't care.
I don't care, I can...
I can do that. I can to that.
I... I'd love to do that.
Awesome sauce.
Good. Get outta here. Scooch.
The only novice
to get moved up to varsity.
Yeah.
Well, double.
They practice at 5 a.m.
5 a.m.?
I thought practices were in
the afternoons.
Varsities do, uh, two days.
- Okay.
- When are you supposed to, like, sleep?
Yep. Okay. I love you.
Bye.
Hey. What's up?
Yo, um... I'm gonna
go to bed soon,
but do you want to
carpool tomorrow?
Um... I... I actually am
gonna be practicing
with the varsity tomorrow.
Duh! That's what I mean. Me too.
Coach Pete told me you're
the other novice moving up.
You wanna, uh, meet outside
Turner Hall at 4:30?
Yeah. Okay. Cool.
Cool.
Maybe we got the time wrong?
The email definitely said 5 a.m.
What if they're fucking with us?
God, this better not be
some hazing shit.
You and me have to
stick together.
Um... why would they be
fucking with us?
Uh, because varsity
does not want fresh meat
nipping at their heels.
And all the other novices,
they're just like,
"Oh, yeah, a fun intramural.
Ooh, ducks. Ooh, friends."
We actually need this shit.
God, when Coach Pete
reached out to me
and basically said I was gonna
get a scholarship,
I mean, I'm not religious
but, like, fuck.
Also, Rachel's such
a little bitch,
she didn't give a shit when
they offered her the spot.
She just booked a flight
for fall break.
It's probably first class, too.
Silver spoon bitch.
Honestly, your lucky break,
though.
They offered the spot to Rachel?
Yes.
But, honestly, it's her loss.
And you try way harder
than her, so...
Sure as shit need it
more than her, too.
These novices are gonna
drop like flies.
I know it. I just...
know it.
Try-hard? Gone.
Rachel? Gonna be gone.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah?
It's so much better doing it
with another person.
You know? Way more fun.
We got this. You know?
Oh!
Let's go.
You're late, novice.
Yeah, sorry, we were just...
Freshman four, over here.
All right, we're doing
novice sandwiches this week.
Moore, four. Dall, you're three.
You've rode starboard before,
right?
Yeah, I've rode starboard
before, and port,
so I can do both.
Whichever one you want.
So, Dall three.
Mitchell, two. Brill,
you got bow, okay?
All right, hurry the fuck up
and grab the boat.
I'm stuck with you dumbasses
this week.
Don't piss me off.
Anyone see lightning?
No? Well, friggin' tell me
if you do.
I'm not getting electrocuted
for a freshman boat.
Stern pair, pick drill. Ready?
Row.
Whoa, wait up.
All right, novice, pick drill.
First arms,
then arms and bodies,
then quarter side,
half side, full side.
Got it? Okay. Ready? Row.
All four, watch your hands!
- Jesus Christ.
- In full.
And two. One.
Two.
Jesus, novice, you're
turning the whole boat.
Light strokes.
Lightly.
You know what?
Fuck it, fuck it, wait up.
Check it down.
Lightly.
All right, enough of that.
Bow pair.
Get ready.
Row!
Get that up.
That is what I'm talking about.
That's what it looks like.
See, she's a natural.
The other one isn't.
Three seat, set the boat.
Novice in the back,
behind the freshmen.
Let's go.
And then back, all the way.
All right, no more
shits on the bus, people.
Thelma, I'm talking to you.
I don't want to smell it.
No. Novice in the back.
Fuck you, we're a team.
Am I right, guys? Come on.
Come on! Let's go!
- Water?
- No, no, hold on.
How'd it go today?
Heard you caught a crab, huh?
It happens.
How was it, though?
Today? Your first race?
Well, considering it was
my fault we lost, I...
It's not the fault of the person
who caught the crab.
It means the technique on
the entire boat is off.
Not one person wins
or loses a race.
I think I just got tired
and my oar slipped so...
I couldn't frickin' feel my legs
and, uh,
just need to get stronger.
Can you give yourself
a break, please?
When you focus on
your technique for a bit,
it'll come.
And remember what I said.
It's 10,000 hours
to be an expert.
You literally just started.
Relax.
Will you?
I'm just gonna go to
the bathroom.
Right.
Jesus Christ, move.
Little people freeze faster.
All right, bitch.
Welcome, novice.
Your first practice
with varsity.
Well, for most of you.
Varsity, the novice
will be practicing...
- Hey, listen up.
- Sorry.
Please. Thank you.
The novice will be practicing
with us until the new year.
I want you to set an example
for them.
All right.
I want you to set
an example for them.
Show them how hard you work.
Show them what it's like to
fight for a 2K PR,
and keep in mind, some of them
might be moving up one day.
They'll be part of your team,
and your competition.
It's a good motivation
going into the new year.
For everyone.
All right.
Put your stuff away,
grab an ERG and warm up.
Brill, do we got an issue today?
- No.
- Good.
- Whoo!
- Ready?
Oh, my God, I was born ready.
Long time, bro.
Yeah.
You ready?
Yeah, I think so.
That's my ERG.
Novice in the back.
Novice, in the back.
Sorry, I... I didn't know.
Just take some time, all right?
- Pete!
- All right.
Fuck.
We're going to the trainer,
novice.
Earth to Dall.
You don't have to kill yourself
in the last 2K of the semester.
Coaches know everyone sucks
this time of year.
Still wasn't enough.
You're never gonna get
a seven minute 2K
if that's what you think.
You're just not built for it.
Besides, you fuckin' PR'ed
at 7:45.
The best novice time.
7:45.5.
And there are only
five novice left.
Well, assuming we do seat races,
you'll probably end up in
the 2V, anyway.
A what?
Fugh!
Technique doesn't matter
on the ERG,
but it matters in the water.
Hence, a seat race to tell
who's actually making the boat
move faster.
Okay, so?
Okay, so two people race against
one another in fours,
do one piece,
then the people seat racing
swap,
but the rest of the crew stays
the same,
go again, run the numbers,
blah and blah.
So you're saying
I need to seat race.
Weirdo, chill. It's drama...
Ew! Don't get piss on me.
Seriously,
it's drama fucking city.
This girl in my high school got
kicked off the team
for trying to throw one.
So, should I ask Edwards?
I could ask for, like, next week.
No, you don't demand shit
from Edwards.
Besides, I heard she does them
every spring break
to finalize lineups.
- So that's my shot.
- No.
2K ERG tests matter.
The seat race, the dumb-ass
around-the-lake rows.
Edwards takes these tests
really seriously.
Just keep doing
what you're doing.
But, like, relax.
Seat racers swap, rest of
the crew stays the same...
Seat racers swap, rest of
the crew stays the same
go again, run the numbers,
blah and blah.
You went through it three times.
You've been here
two hours and 44 minutes.
I'm going home.
I still have six minutes.
Hey!
You gotta know when to quit.
Fuck!
- Dall?
- Hey, coach, hi.
- I was just...
- You were...
Shouldn't you be stuffed in
a library somewhere
- studying right now?
- Yeah.
And there's a reason we don't
have practices during exams.
NCAA reasons, but, uh,
I don't know,
we care about you, too,
at least I do.
- Yeah.
- You're a student athlete, Dall.
Student comes first, so
would you repeat after me.
Student athlete.
I'm a student athlete.
I just did a 2K and a PR.
Awesome sauce.
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm trying to get better.
Before you do that,
why don't you...
Don't leave me hangin'.
Weight adjusted,
I guess it's, uh...
- it's okay.
- Weight adjusted?
What? Where'd you learn that?
Well, I figured...
the force generated by
a more powerful rower
might be offset by their weight
if their boat gets pushed into
the water more by their weight.
'Cause the more surface area of
the boat in the water,
the more friction causes
the boat to slow down.
If there was
a weight adjustment...
Weight adjustment calculators.
Look, don't focus on
the numbers, okay?
That is enough to
drive me crazy. I...
Um, yeah, well, I'm taking
a winter mini-mester,
so at least that way I can
at least use the ERG room.
I want to get stronger.
Uh, I've got
a tip for you, Dall.
It's not all about strength.
And are you using the ERG room
'cause you're taking
a winter-mester,
or are you taking
a winter-mester
just so you can use
the ERG room?
I don't even want to know
if that's the answer.
I... I want to do 2Ks
every day this break.
I will chain the ERG room shut.
There's an ERG in the gym.
Oh, my God, you're...
a lot.
Okay. Um...
Maybe...
Maybe you can spend
some time on the single,
work on some technique.
I didn't know I was allowed
to row during break.
- I'll do it.
- Well, usually,
it's meant for
experienced girls,
and it's usually done
in the summer,
'cause the boat's easy to flip.
Okay, well, I'll be careful,
I'll stay close to the dock.
It's not me you gotta convince.
Coach Edwards.
She has to unlock
the boat house.
- Can't you do it?
- No.
I have in-law visitation duty,
which is my own thing,
but, anyway, no.
She's the boss lady.
And, uh, she lives walking
distance to the boat house
so, I don't know, why don't you
shoot her a text.
I'm sure she'll
let you right in.
Why am I not surprised to
see you here during break?
You're here.
What are you doing Saturday?
Why?
Playing a little
school of rock set
at the historic Red Dog.
You should stop by.
I thought you don't date
students.
Who said it was a date?
Yeah, Mom. Well, the plan is...
is to drive in on Christmas Eve,
and then I'm gonna go back
on, uh, Christmas Day.
Okay, well, the day after.
Well...
No, I'm good.
Yeah.
Well, why have you been
talking to Winona?
No. I'm going to bed right now.
- ID.
- Hm.
Go.
- Hi.
- What can I get you?
Um, can I get
a vodka soda, please.
Well, aren't you
full of surprises.
Are you of age?
Uh, I'm in here, right?
I invited you
expecting you to get
turned away at the door.
Okay, then.
Hey. Hey.
I was just kidding.
Just kidding.
Well, kinda.
- Five minutes.
- Okay.
- I'll see you after?
- Okay.
Thank you.
All right, guys,
so this next song
is actually a new song we wrote.
I hope you guys like it.
And afterwards, we have
the Paper Shakers,
so stick around.
Daddy
I never thought
I'd love a man
I never thought
A man could understand
Everything I am
Like a woman
Everything I am
Like a woman
How can I trust
Who in trust
have let me down
Every man
Every man that come around
Willow
Swings in the wind
Reminds me of you...
Because I'm not who,
oh, God told me
God knows and
haven't told me
I'm bold and stronger
than the pain
This bed is so lonely
The world I see
I paint a portrait of you
Over the cobwebs
in the corner
My bones are sewn
They're right where
I want to be
Somewhere in between...
and the blue sea
Because I'm not who,
oh, God told me
God knows and
haven't told me
I've grown stronger
than pain...
So is there
some type of weaknesses,
do you have some type of
imbalances...
Thanks so much for,
um, meeting me so early.
I've been up since five.
I just wanted to get
some extra practice in
since other girls are
so much bigger than I am.
No. Those.
Okay.
Look, have you even rowed
a single before?
'Cause if not, you're gonna wait
until we take 'em out as a team.
No, I have.
- I have.
- Good thing.
Water's cold.
Shoot me a text
when you're done.
Let me know
the boat's back safe.
Cool.
Mm, 'kay
- You're late, Dall.
- Yeah.
You know, the girls
who row in summer
usually come later.
Yeah, well,
I have class at 9:30.
So... Have you seen my umbrella?
- No.
- Okay.
- Come in if you see lightning.
- Okay!
Late again, Dall?
I'm here.
You know, you could just
give me the key.
You don't need a key.
Just slam the door.
Look who's on time and dry.
Shit.
Sorry, I just thought
it would be quicker
if I came here.
Opens the boat house.
You're lookin' good out there.
I didn't know you were watching.
That's the point.
Six a.m., Monday morning.
I mean, why's he interviewing
a whole bunch of deans at
a dinner table or something.
I can't get a word in edge...
I don't know what I'm...
- Hey.
- Hi.
How you doin'?
Um, Alex, this is Dani, my TA.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
Yeah, you're both pursuing
physics, right?
I'm actually underage, so...
Oh. Underage.
Did you, uh, TA
for my class last semester?
Oh, the class was so big.
And it's been so long.
Well, the two of you
should get acquainted.
Alex is, uh, one of our
presidential scholars.
And Dani here just actually got
into her top choice school.
You did? Congratulations.
Thank you.
That's a sweet cardigan.
Is this the line for
the bathroom?
Right.
It's warm in here.
What, do you like me now that
you know I'm leaving?
I'm just waiting for
the bathroom.
You don't date
your students, so...
there's also that.
You're not my student anymore.
Oh, you said you were
good at this.
So freshman year of high school
my mother said that I should
enroll in some honors classes
so that way I could
challenge myself,
which was a huge mistake.
Yeah, sure, Miss 4.0.
You've seen what I have to do
to get an A.
- Valid.
- Great. Okay.
So I was about to transfer out,
but there was this smart ass
douchy future frat bro
who was always talking about me.
He would always finish first,
and then humble brag about
how he never studied.
So obviously,
when he asked me out,
- I turned him down.
- Oh, no.
This one class,
we got our grades back,
and he saw mine, which was a C,
and he goes, "If you took
the regular class",
then you would probably
get an A."
Oh, no he didn't.
I decided, fuck him. I was gonna
beat him on the next test.
I was gonna turn it in first
and I was gonna get
the better grade,
- so I studied my ass off and...
- And beat him.
Well, I got a C but
I did turn it in first.
And it hit me, like,
if I was rushing and making
all these mistakes,
then surely he must too,
because there's no way,
no matter how smart
this guy was,
he didn't miss one.
So the next time,
I took my time.
- And you beat him.
- Uh, no.
Well, I got... I got
my first B in that class.
Okay? But the next time,
I double checked my work,
I re-did the test,
- and then...
- You beat him.
I tied him.
The time after that...
- You beat him.
- Yes, I beat him!
- It's your turn.
- I know.
Now, everyone knew that
this guy was gonna graduate
valedictorian,
but he only took the minimum
classes needed to graduate.
Well, I took a full load of
honors classes to weight my GPS.
He didn't study, but I did.
He was smarter,
but I worked harder.
- And you became valedictorian?
- Still no.
Some girl transferred in
junior year, beat us both.
But I did graduate salutatorian
and he was third.
Bumped off the podium entirely.
So that's how it all began.
Somebody pissed you off
and you got revenge.
You don't know how many people
gave me high fives
during graduation, okay?
This guy irritated everyone.
So it was about the high fives
and standing at the podium?
No? Come on, give me something.
Well, why did we go to the moon?
Oh, God.
No, no, really, tell me.
Why did we go to
some lifeless rock?
Come on. Don't break my heart.
Wasn't it just some huge
propaganda factory
and ego trips,
that way, we could prove
as Americans
that we were superior to
the Russians?
- Ooh.
- Who even cares that we got there first?
We had bigger shit
to worry about.
We had people starving,
civil rights, wars.
Okay? All we got out of it was
a bunch of dead astronauts
and huge deficit.
It was totally pointless.
I can't believe you're
a physics major,
and you're shit talking
space travel.
- Mm-hm.
- The advancements of technology because of that.
- Okay.
- The sense of national pride.
Mm-hm.
Not that I give a shit
about that.
- Oh, no.
- To test our limits as a species,
to see if we could.
What was it Kennedy said?
We do it not because it's easy,
- but because it's hard.
- Yes!
Wow. Just wow.
- No, it's my turn.
- No way.
- Let me show you how to...
- No.
All right, ladies,
welcome back after
your winter break.
And I don't care if you've been
sitting on your asses
for the last two weeks,
you are about to get moving.
Welcome to hell.
All right, Janssen...
You okay?
Yeah, just, uh...
just this little thing,
no big deal.
Hm?
I said, nice to see
a novice move up.
Hey, Groundsman, Dall,
what are we waiting for?
It's practice. Let's go.
Nice work, Groundsman and Dall.
Everyone, this is
the work ethic I'm after.
Okay? The schools we're
going up against
are bigger,
they've got more money,
more rowers,
but we can work harder.
When you're doing it right,
the oar will make a V
from the back splash.
Push before you pull.
Guys, more of that.
That's it! Alex.
Okay, bring it up.
Time!
That's it, ladies!
Move! Move!
What do I do with this?
All right.
Let's go!
Push it here!
Yes!
Paddle! Paddle!
We won this one.
Weigh enough, girls.
Their silver spoon asses
got soft, I guess.
Coach is gonna have to
seat our asses.
Shut the fuck up!
Who the fuck are you talking to?
We just lost to 2V boat.
Do you realize
how embarrassing that is?
Do you realize that?
You know, my roommate's
probably waking up hungover
at her all-inclusive right now,
and we've already
worked out six hours.
Anyone can party
on spring break.
Not us, apparently.
Also, it's been four days
and there have been
no mention of seat races at all.
That's fuckin' bullshit.
Erin said that they'd be
later this week.
No. Coach can't accept that
our reject boat
beat her recruited stars.
Also, Janssen said
the only reason we won
was because the cox
charted a shit course.
That's why we need a seat race.
That way, we know for sure.
Mm.
Shut up, Janssen.
Still here.
Nice work today, stern pair.
We were actually hoping
that we'd get to seat race.
Crews are always changing,
so just, uh,
keep up the good work.
Get some sleep, eat well,
and we'll see you
dark and early.
We beat the 1V in the scrimmage.
Yes. The 1V had a few
technical difficulties.
But, uh, you two, you rode
a really good race.
And if there are technical
difficulties on race day,
then what, we lose?
Why don't you keep your head
in your boat where it belongs,
and, uh, we'll worry about
the rest, all right?
Good?
Fuck.
It's bullshit.
She fucking scouted me.
She promised me
that scholarship.
- We'll get our chance.
- No, I fucking need this, man.
Like, I really need this
right now.
Don't know what the fuck
I was thinking coming here.
I'm a fucking idiot.
If I don't get this, I have to
transfer to a state school.
I can't fucking live
with my dad.
I fucking can't.
I should have tried out for
basketball or something.
And now there's no fucking time,
and I thought this was
a guarantee.
And now some entitled bitches
and fucking seniority bullshit
are ruining my shot.
Our fucking shot.
I'm gonna say something to
Highsmith later.
Do you think that's a good idea?
Why the fuck do I care?
What have I got to lose?
Absolutely nothing.
She fucking graduates
in a couple months.
She doesn't need the 1V, we do.
This one is my favorite.
- Can we post it?
- Yeah, if you want.
Which one's your favorite?
Um, I like this one.
Larry looks great.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
All right, everyone,
we have some news.
Groundman is out.
Whoa, what?
That pain in her shoulder?
Turns out,
her collarbone's broken.
It's been hurting her for weeks.
This thing has been broken
this whole time?
Yeah, it's fucking insane.
So, listen to your bodies,
people.
Where's Edwards at?
All right, those of you
who are not on the board,
y'all are doing 60 minute run.
The rest of you are in fours.
Hands on.
Hey.
How are you?
They were supposed to row
the same in both races.
There's no way to know if...
They rowed hard for Brill,
they rowed light for me.
They wanted me to lose.
- Fuck this.
- Dall, come here.
- I heard them all talking.
- Dall...
- They were all in on it.
- Get over here, novice.
Be careful.
You have years of rowing left.
That's years of
a lot of these girls.
You'll make the 1V a year,
maybe two.
- This isn't fair.
- No, it's not.
But life isn't fair.
That's so easy for you to say.
Is it? Where's my seat race?
I was in the boat
that won the scrimmage.
I charted the best course.
You don't see me throwing a fit.
You have to decide if this is
the hill you want to die on.
Trust me.
It's not.
Hey, I know you're late but
your name's on the list.
- Okay, I...
- See you at the Parkhurst.
All right, all right.
Be there in an hour.
So sorry.
Please accept my apology.
But love is blind,
and I was too blind to see.
Shit.
You good dude?
Dall, that's my ERG.
Dall!
You're kidding me, right?
You couldn't let Highsmith
row next to me?
- We're gonna be a pair.
- I know.
Congrats, man. Great.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why'd you do it?
Do what?
Wait, you're pissed about
the seat race?
Yeah, you could have beat me
fair and square. So...
Yeah, I'm sorry you lost,
but at least you could be
cool about it.
Yeah, you should have beat me
fair and square.
I don't even know what the fuck
you're talking about.
Can you fucking stop?
You know, the difference between
you and me is that
I actually put in
the extra work.
You have all this talk about
silver spoon bitches,
and look who's Audi
you're riding in right now.
You know what? Fuck you!
- I do what I have to.
- Oh, my God.
Something you wouldn't
actually understand.
This whole time,
I thought you needed this.
I really did. But you're just
another silver spoon bitch.
This is you. Yeah?
Alex Dall.
Presidential scholar.
I actually thought they were
fucking with me.
Trying to put a wedge
between us, but...
there it is.
Oh, and I checked.
Presidential scholars,
they get a full ride.
I never said I needed
a scholarship.
Sure as shit let me think it.
You know, this whole team thinks
you're fucking insane.
I was your friend.
I had your back from day one.
And you were
supposed to have mine.
You were my friend until
I actually became a threat.
- The second I'm your competition...
- Fuck you!
You turned on me!
You don't fucking need this.
You don't need it.
So what difference does it make
if you're in the 1V or the 2V?
We can't be psychotic like you.
Some of us have lives.
Yeah, your mistake is that
you always stick to
what you're good at.
You could have
fucking earned it.
You know, the funny thing...
about teams...
which you actually
wouldn't understand
seeing as you've
never been on a team...
is that you don't have to
like each other.
But you do have to
respect each other.
And no one respects you, Dall.
I won that seat race.
You've got to start
taking care of yourself.
You'll ruin the scholarship
you do have.
For what?
My grades are good.
- Are they?
- Mm-hm.
I spoke to your new TA.
You... What's your problem?
My problem? I don't know.
What's yours?
You're majoring in your
worst subject, Alex.
- Mm-hm.
- Okay, you like a challenge.
Taking tests four times
Overkill, right? But for you,
it works. I get it.
Now you're trying to apply
the same obsessive logic
to rowing.
It just doesn't work.
You've got to let it go.
Look.
I'm not wrong here.
Beating yourself to a pulp
trying to get your team to say,
"Good job, you earned this."
Just like in high school,
all for high fives and a podium.
- No.
- You gotta relax.
Oh, my God.
You know, I am so sick and tired
of everyone in my life
telling me to relax.
Okay?
Relaxing should be a privilege,
not a fucking standard.
If everyone sat on their asses
and did nothing
all this, this would
cease to exist.
If you didn't practice with
your fucking band...
I mean, maybe if you
practiced more,
you would be more than
just an opener.
You think you know things
about me?
I haven't told you shit
about me.
You don't know anything
about me.
I didn't go to graduation
and have high fives
and a fucking podium, okay?
I didn't even go to graduation.
Because I was 51/50'd
by all the people in my life,
yourself included, who kept
telling me to fucking relax!
I'm not gonna relax!
You don't know how hard it is
for me to be the best.
How hard I have to push myself
to be the best.
Second best.
Wow. Just... Okay.
- You think I don't see you?
- Just stop.
Just... Dani, stop.
Stop. No. Don't. Just stop it!
You're self-immolating
on a loop.
Just quit.
Don't. It's just...
You don't under...
I don't think you're ever
gonna feel good.
You don't understand.
You don't understand!
You'll never understand.
I can't keep watching
you do this to yourself.
Don't watch anymore.
Don't. We always knew this had
an end date, right?
All right.
Next week, we will have our
spring around-the-lake row.
Okay, we'll knock it out
in four days,
There will be a sign up sheet,
first come, first served.
Now, this will help determine
championship line-ups,
but more importantly,
let's have fun.
Bullshit.
Why do seniors have to do this?
- It's our last week.
- Shut up, Janssen.
You know I'm coming for
your record, Highsmith.
Yeah, we'll see.
So there's a record?
Look, it's meant to be fun.
Okay?
- What is it?
- So...
What's the record?
I, uh... I... I don't know it
off the top of my head.
Do you know it?
Do you know what it is?
It's your record, Highsmith.
Do you not know your own record?
Does anyone know
Highsmith's record?
You know, it's not actually
even important...
Fourteen minutes flat.
Right. Thank you, Erin.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Excuse me. Thanks.
- There's a line.
- Oh! Okay, sure.
What the fuck, dude?
It's supposed to be fun.
I'm not rowing against you,
psycho.
It's your last week,
and you already beat me
in the seat race
so what do you guys
have to worry about?
Fucking stupid.
Piece of shit.
Janssen, Mitchell, and Dall.
It's gonna rain.
Say it with me, ladies.
We row in the rain.
Not in the lightning.
Any signs of it, head in.
Otherwise, I will see you
at the finish line.
Ready?
Row!
This is bullshit!
I'm motherfucking freezing!
Fuck!
Watch your point!
What the fuck!
- There's lightning.
- There's no lightning.
- Fucking lightning!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Fuck you!
- You're gonna hit my oar!
Fuck off!
Fuck!
You rocked my boat!
Fuck you!
Lightning!
Lightning!
There's lightning!
Look!
Yield!
You fuckin' yield!
Yield! You're gonna
fucking hit me.
Fuck!
Ahh!
Fuck!
Fuck.
It's lightning!
Keep rowing through!
Lightning, we have to go in!
Keep rowing!
Alex, we're going in!
Keep rowing!
- Alex!
- Keep rowing!
Keep rowing!
Keep rowing!
Keep rowing.