The Over the Hill Gang (1969) Movie Script
1
(tense orchestral music)
Get up, get up!
Ha!
Get up!
(man shouting)
Get up now, get up, move
along now, move along!
(man shouting)
Get up there, now!
Get up there, move along, move along!
(man shouting)
Whoa, whoa!
Welcome to Boulder, gents, welcome.
Here you are.
Poker chips compliments
of Mayor Nard Lundy.
Just waltz right over
to the El Dorado Saloon
and ante yourself into a fortune.
Remember to vote.
It's Nard Lundy's town,
let's keep it that way.
- Welcome to Boulder, sir.
- Thank you, son.
There you are.
Compliments of the mayor.
Now why should the mayor
give me free poker chips?
Election time's coming in two weeks.
Just the mayor's way of making sure
you remember his name come voting time.
Vote?
I can't vote.
I don't even live here.
I just came here to see my
daughter and her husband.
Good!
You've got family here.
That's just the same as a resident.
Now don't forget to vote.
It's Nard Lundy!
(upbeat piano music)
(gun firing)
(liquid splattering)
Just like I always figured.
Jeff Rose is full of pickle juice.
(laughing)
I'm Captain Oren Hayes,
late of the Texas Rangers.
That man you just shot full of holes
happens to be my son-in-law.
You tell me where I can
find his newspaper office?
Yeah, around the corner there to the right.
Papa!
Captain Hayes!
Sweetheart, Jeff.
What are you doing so far from Texas?
Why didn't you let us know you were coming?
Well, I thought I'd surprise you.
I haven't seen you since you were married.
I've been retired from the
Rangers now for some years.
And you got lonesome.
Well, a man just can't quit.
Can't sit around and listen
to your arteries harden.
I want some action, travel.
Helps start the blood.
Well, we're real happy to see you.
And you stay as long as you please.
Thank you, Jeff, thank you.
Say, looks like you've got
quite a business going here.
But, uh, tell me something, son,
what are whose wanted
posters on you around town?
Oh, those aren't wanted posters, Papa.
Those are campaign posters.
Jeff is a candidate for mayor.
Well, the way they're
shooting his picture full of holes,
I'd say you're not wanted.
Well, Mayor Lundy's a very
clever opponent, Captain.
Owns most of this town
and runs it from his Helldorado Saloon.
Well, ha, ha, ha, Charlie, how are you?
You look wonderful.
Sheila, my dear, lovely as always. (laughs)
Well, how are you, Ed?
(bright, cheerful music)
Fellow come in on the stage a
couple of minutes ago Mayor.
Old fellow.
Says he used to be with the Texas Rangers.
And Jeff Rose is his son-in-law.
Well, if he's old, he
shouldn't worry you, Clyde.
And if he doesn't live
here, he can't vote for Jeff,
so he doesn't worry me.
Either of you seen this
new edition of The Sentinel?
He's got your whole record in there.
Mine too.
Yours too, Clyde.
All the facts and figures,
the dates, all the graphs,
the payoffs, all the illegal taxes.
Well, he says I ain't a proper judge.
He says I'm guilty of
malfeasance, whatever that is.
It means you are a walking whiskey vat
and you bought your Justice
of the Peace office years ago
from Charlie Reaves.
But I've still got my office.
Only because I keep you there.
Don't forget that, Your Honor.
Now why don't you just shut up, Amos?
You know, a smart man
who's handy with words,
he's a tough opponent.
But when he starts to
smear you with the truth,
he is deadly.
Yeah, yeah, but if this paper ever
gets to the Governor's office.
Get the boys altogether.
Round up every copy
of this that's in circulation.
Buy them, steal them,
take them, but get them.
Been telling you all along, Nard,
you give that newspaper
fellow too much room.
Now the old ways got things done right.
Oh, no, no, no, no, Clyde,
I'm not the sort of man
to use force when gentle
persuasion will serve.
Why don't you get your deputies together
and pay yourself a little
call on Mr. Rose, mm?
You sure raked this Lundy over the coals.
Well, if it's a battle he
wants let's give it to him.
I'll pitch in and help.
Do me good.
Little action is what I need.
(door clattering)
You here on law business, Sheriff?
No, we're just a bunch of plain citizens.
We've come to tell you that
we don't hold with your brand
of mud-slinging, name-calling politics.
And we don't want you
printing nothing more.
Nothing.
Now wait a minute, Sheriff.
You can't interfere with
the freedom of the press.
You keep out of this you old moss-horn.
Moss-horn?
Listen, young fellow, on your best day
you couldn't curry mules in my outfit.
(Hannah): Papa!
(wood clattering)
Papa!
(grunting)
(grunting)
All right, let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here.
Jeff, Jeff?
Yes.
Jeff?
Jeff, you've got to give up.
Lundy's too powerful.
He's too dangerous.
Maybe next time he'll order
Sheriff Barnes to use his gun.
That's exactly why he's got
to be fought and beaten.
Jeff, the best thing for you to do
is strap on your own gun
and fight him in his way.
Captain Hayes, I know gun
play was necessary in the days
when you were with the Texas Rangers,
but if we're ever going to
have progress in the West,
we've got to learn to fight our battles
with ideas and words.
Son, looks like you've
kind of run out of words.
(sighs) Maybe Hannah's right.
Maybe I should give up.
You know, a lot of people
were glad to see me
run against Lundy, but none of them
would lift a finger to help.
I know a handful of
men, just three who could
straighten out Lundy
and his gang in a hurry.
Who's that, Captain?
Fastest guns in the West.
Finest riders.
Top scouts.
Crack men who served
with me on the River Brages
and brought law and
order to the Lone Star state.
The pride of the Texas Rangers.
(tense music)
(telegraph clicking)
First off, I'll send to
Abilene for Nash Crawford.
His gun was quicker
than the blink of a cougar,
faster than the flick
of prairie dog's tail.
You'll see a gun, mister,
and you'll be dead before it clears out.
(glass shattering)
Gosh Grandpa, is that exactly the way you
had the shoot out with Sam Vance?
Well, of course the saloon weren't
all cluttered up with gee-gaws
and dinguses like this.
Now you fellows clean
this up 'fore your ma sees it.
And this the exact kind of gun you carried
in the Texas Rangers, isn't it, Grandpa?
Well, it's a mite smaller than my Colt .45,
more like a hideout gun.
What's a hideout gun?
Well, come on over here
and I'll tell you about it.
Sit yourself down there.
Now I recall I was wintering in the bend
on the San Sava River,
east of Manardville, see?
The Captain sent me
on to scout after a fellow
who was wanted for
murder and horse thieving.
Well boys, that's when I got my first taste
of a hideout gun.
You see--
What was that crash I
heard in here a minute ago?
Oh, my fault, Ellie.
Had a little accident with a lamp.
I suppose the Texas Rangers just
won another battle
against overwhelming odds?
(somber music)
Run along, boys.
It's time for your nap.
Oh mom, Grandpa was
just going tell us about--
It'll keep, it'll keep.
Do like your ma says.
Pa, I know you don't mean any harm.
But you've got to stop filling the boys'
heads full of those
blood-curdling fairytales
about fighting horse thieves and Indians.
Fairy tales?
Well, them things really happened.
Fact is, I ain't even told the
kids the bloodiest ones yet.
(telegraph clicking)
(Oren): Next, I'll send to
Kansas City for Jason Fitch,
second best man with a gun
and the finest scout in the Rangers.
He has eyes like a hawk in the daytime,
eyes like an owl at night.
(tense music)
Captain, don't ride out
after them two fellows.
I know they're a mile off, but
I can tell they're Comanches.
That big one's a chief.
I can tell by the mark on his forehead.
I can see the tip of a feather sticking up
behind a boulder way
off there to the south.
That's a feather of a
scissor-tail fly catcher.
There's another Comanche beneath it.
(wood clattering)
It's an ambush, them
Redskins bushwhacked us!
Oh, you must have been a
marvelous scout, Mr. Fitch,
to recognize all those
terrible Indians so far away.
Takes eyes like an eagle, Miss Fletcher.
I'm Mrs. Murphy.
Ah yes, you're Mrs.
Murphy not Miss Fletcher.
Say, you're a pretty little thing.
Mr. Fitch, you're really
much too bold at times.
I once had a shoot out with three dudes
over a woman like you.
Mr. Fitch!
Real catalog woman
she was, pretty little thing
just like you.
Mr. Fitch!
Mr. Fitch, Mr. Fitch!
Find your own woman, boy.
This telegram just came for you.
Somebody's dead.
It don't have a black border.
Let's see it.
Can you tell me what that says, Ms. Murphy?
I need my strong glasses for reading.
It says, Brazos.
(dramatic music)
Brazos?
That's the old code word of our company.
It means trouble.
Strap on your guns and hit the trail.
What else does it say?
There's just an address.
Sully's Mine on Feather
Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.
Signed, Captain Oren Hayes.
Captain Oren Hayes?
Our old outfit's back in action.
I gotta light out for Nevada fast.
We'll help you get packed, Mr. Fitch.
How can I help Captain Hayes?
Don't you feel up to it?
Sure, I feel up to it.
And over it and way past it.
Nevada's a long way from Kansas City.
I haven't got no horse, nor artillery,
and no money to make a trip if I did.
Well, maybe when I don't show up,
the Captain will think I'm dead.
Maybe I ought to be.
Good night.
(somber music)
(knocking)
Come on in, it's your house.
Boy just delivered this telegram for you.
Who in tarnation would send me a telegram?
(paper rustling)
What's it say, Pa?
Brazos!
That's all, Brazos?
No, there's a address here too.
Sully's Mine on Feather
Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.
And it's signed Captain Oren Hayes,
my old Captain from
the Texas Rangers, Ellie.
He needs me.
He's calling me to ride again.
You mean it's trouble?
Shooting and fighting?
Brazos, it's the old code word.
He always used it to call us together.
Well, it's a kind of reunion.
Pa, it's been years since you've heard
from Captain Hayes and--
Every man in our outfit'll come a-running
when he hears that word, Brazos.
But your outfit's all broken up and spread
over the whole country, retired.
No Ranger retires perpendicularly.
Well, it's an awful long way to Nevada.
Yeah, well it was a far
piece down to New Oasis,
past Fort Clark and up the Devil's River
and on to Beaver Lake
to hit the Kickapoos, but we made it.
Well, how are you going to
eat and sleep along the way?
What were you going to do for money?
Oh, I saved a little.
(Ellie): From what?
From not spending it.
Well, if your mind's made
up, then I guess I can
I only kiss you goodbye
and wish you good luck.
Yes sir, I'll just throw
this gear on my horse--
Pa!
What?
You don't own a horse.
(dramatic music)
(Oren): And last, but not least,
I'll send for Gentleman George Agnew.
We called him the Gentleman because
of his spotless character,
his courtly manners,
his spit and polished appearance.
(body thudding)
(sighing)
Now, I'm telling you, Gentlemen George,
you stay out of this saloon for good.
Doggone Mack, I'm going to miss going
in that saloon of yours.
You know when I get to
liking a man I freeze to him.
Well, I'm freezing you out.
Now there's your cards.
And don't try using
that slippery deck again.
Next place, you're liable
to wind up full of holes.
Well, so they caught
you pulling a little flim-flam
and jiggery-pokery with the
cards again, huh, George?
Sheriff, I just filled out
an inside straight fair and square.
Now, I could have used
this ace or this deuce,
but the deuces wasn't wild.
No, Mack didn't throw
you out just for the exercise.
(laughs) That joke was on Mack.
All I did was reach in my
pistol pocket for my harmonica.
Here, I'll play you a little piece.
(upbeat harmonica music)
Uh, George, I think you
best move on out of range.
Now why don't you go on
home and get some sleep?
I ain't got no room, Frank.
I've been doing all my sleeping
in Mack's saloon in yonder.
Oh well, if you need a
bed, I could toss you in jail.
Jail, what for?
For most anything.
For inciting a riot, for
littering up the streets.
Now, now come on.
I don't want to put you
to all that bother, Frank.
I'll just find myself another saloon.
George, you have used up every saloon
in the whole Oklahoma territory.
Well, there must be somebody
building a new one around here somewheres.
(Delivery Man): George, George Agnew?
You?
I got a telegram for you, George.
Who in the world would
be sending me a telegram?
Let's see this thing here.
Oh.
Yeehaw, Brazos!
What does that mean?
I'm wanted.
Well, now that don't surprise me none.
Who by?
The Texas Rangers.
My old Captain wants
me to come up to Nevada.
You know I've got to get me
a broom-tailed filly for and ride.
(comical orchestral music)
George, you danged old fool!
Come back here!
Hee-yah, faster, get along, yah, faster!
Hee-yah, get along, yah, yah, yah.
Why you long-legged, U-knecked, broom keel,
the first time I ever seen
one jackass riding another.
Now who are you calling a jackass?
You old moss-back,
bull-winded, kettle-bellied--
George!
Nash!
(laughing)
Hey, good to see you.
Good to see you again.
You answering the Captain's call?
Yep, figured he had real
need of good fighting men.
But I don't know, seeing
as how he called on you.
Why you old coot.
Who got them two cattle rustlers
down in Bandeer County that time?
I did.
I winged them for you.
(laughing)
George, uh, you're looking a little poorly.
Kind of scummy and gone to grass-belly.
You don't look like you
wintered too good yourself.
And who helped you up on that horse?
You must be 95 if you're a day.
Well, I reckon my gun ain't aged none.
(laughs) I reckon that's
what counts, Sergeant.
Then let's ride.
Yah, Brazos.
(laughing)
(triumphant orchestral music)
Jason!
Nash!
George.
Jase! (laughs)
Jason!
George, I know you're
a sight for sore eyes!
Well, your eyes must be mighty sore, Jace.
I'm Nash Crawford!
Oh sure, I'd know you anywhere, Nash.
Red hair, straight as a
ramrod, skinny waist like a girl's.
Well, by jingles the Captain sure called up
the best men of the old outfit.
And the Captain don't
like to be kept waiting,
so let's move out.
(upbeat music)
Well all you Texas Rangers,
wherever you may be
I'll tell you of some trouble
that happened once to me
Our Captain, he informed
us one dark and stormy night
Before you reach the river, boys
You'll have yourself a fight.
The weather, it was dreadful
The rain came down like stones.
The wind was even stronger
(singing drowned out by footsteps)
I saw the Indians coming
I heard him give a yell
My feeling at that minute,
no mother's son can tell.
(comical classical music)
(upbeat harmonica music)
Yahoo!
I hate to say this, sir.
I know they were your
best men, but I'm worried.
What do you mean, son?
They're a little old, aren't they?
Yes, I guess they are.
But then maybe so am I.
My boy, a man never really sees himself
till he looks at the friends he once knew.
Yahoo!
(George shouting)
(Jeff): What are we going to do, Captain?
Well, I certainly am not
going to tell them how I feel.
Sure, they're old.
They haven't got much left.
But they proved they're still
Rangers by answering my call.
All they need is something that needs them,
something that needs doing.
I know that feeling too.
I just wish I hadn't let you get into this.
Now you stop fretting, Jeff.
We're gonna get you elected mayor.
All right, all right,
Sergeant, call assembly.
You heard the Captain, fall in.
Assemble you juggly, wrinkle-horned...
I'm assembled.
Well, assemble lengthwise.
Assembled neat and proper, Captain.
All right, men.
Now you know why
I've called you altogether.
Yeah, to roust out some tinhorn mayor
and his four-flushing gang.
I say lead us right in and
clean them out tonight, Captain.
Hold it, Nash, hold it.
You see, Lundy has the
support of a corrupt judge,
gun-happy sheriff, plus all his deputies.
Well, if there ain't more than 20 of them,
Captain, I'll ride in and get them myself.
Now hold it, hold it men.
If this comes to a showdown
it could be well, quite a fight.
We haven't been together in some time.
Maybe we ought to sharpen
up for a couple of days.
You know, some of us
might be just a little rusty.
I ain't rusty, Captain.
Practice my draw almost every day.
I've been training a couple
of young fellows down in Abilene.
I guess you ain't heard, Captain.
I've been making a name for myself
in that Oklahoma territory
from one end to the other.
You figured wearing these
specs is slowing me down?
Ain't so.
Just holding me up sharper in other ways.
I can smell what a man's fixing to do.
I can hear the sneeze of a flea.
You can?
All right, men, that's good,
but we're wasting time.
Election is only a week off.
Jeff, you ride in town tonight.
Tell Lundy he's got until tomorrow morning
to clear out, along
with his crooked friends.
And--
If you don't take the
warning, Captain Hayes
and his Rangers are gonna ride in at dawn,
ready for a showdown.
Oh, I am disappointed in you, Jeff.
I thought you were strongly
against violence and gunplay.
I don't think there'll be any.
I figure you'll go.
Texas Rangers?
They're a mean bunch.
Maybe I ought to injunct
a legal paper against them.
Whereas, the people of this here town
declare that all troublemakers
looking to make trouble--
Why don't you save that
for your next Supreme
Court decision. (stammers)
Go finish your beer, will you?
(Amos): Well, thank you.
You said that old fella
wouldn't worry you none
when he rode into town.
Ah, it's just a bluff.
Jeff Rose would never
sanction open warfare.
You'll do nothing about it?
You're just going to sit
there and let them Rangers
ride in free?
Ex-Rangers, Clyde.
They got no authority here.
Sure, sure, let them ride
in free, but if any of them
start making any trouble
you have got a sworn duty
to put down any attempt
at gunplay on the streets
of our fair town, Sheriff.
Now you're talking, Nard.
Real shootout on Main Street.
(bright piano music)
(tense orchestral music)
(hooves clopping)
Captain Hayes of the Texas Rangers, sir.
Have you received my ultimatum?
Captain, I just couldn't
believe that you were serious.
(laughs) I have the greatest admiration
for the reputation of the Rangers.
But I do believe that you
have no true military authority
and certainly not here
in the state of Nevada.
That's a legal ruling,
section four, article two.
Let all men known by the--
(laughs) All right, Judge.
We are here as a private company
of vigilantes, Mr. Mayor,
to preserve law and order
and to ensure an honest election.
How would you propose to do that, sir?
By seeing you and your associates
out of this town now,
by force, if necessary.
Captain, as you see, we are unarmed.
I'll give you one minute to get armed.
Captain (laughs), we are a peaceable town
of law and order.
We do not want any
bloodshed on our streets.
Now, why can't we settle this
obvious electioneering
stunt in a sporting matter, eh?
(laughs)
Why don't we have a shooting contest?
The losers to leave town.
Now, you select your best
marksman and fastest draw.
Now when I shout draw, go for your gun.
(tense music)
Ready?
Draw!
(gun firing)
(crowd laughing)
Well Captain, you wanted a fair draw.
I figured he was gonna count first.
Let me have him.
I can outdraw you the best
day you ever lived, Sheriff.
That's my son-in-law, you idiot.
Oh.
Captain, I'm afraid that you and your men
have been the victims of some poor advice.
Boulder is a friendly and peaceful town.
Now if you'll all just step
inside to the Helldorado,
I'll send drinks all around.
That makes sense to me.
Mount up!
Retreat and re-form.
Oh.
(dramatic music)
Well Jeff, it's just like you always said,
the West has changed.
Things aren't what they used to be.
(chuckling)
They certainly aren't.
(crowd laughing)
(clapping)
(Cassie): It was a good try!
And it was more than
anyone else in this town
has ever had the nerve to do.
Thank you, Madam.
Oh, I'm not madam.
It's Miss, Miss Cassie McGuire.
Cassie McGuire?
The famous singer and dancer?
Boy, I once paid $2 in
Tombstone to see you perform.
Doggone, I saw you in a saloon in Tulsa.
And they couldn't get
another in that place that
wanted to take a good look at you.
How nice it is to run
into old friends like this!
Can I offer you all a drink?
No, I don't think we should.
Captain, you going to
turn down another drink?
Well, Mayor Lundy doesn't approve
of any business coming
into my place anyway.
Well in that case, Miss McGuire,
we accept your offer with pleasure.
Good!
Come on!
Singer, dancer, and you own a saloon?
Say, you're a pretty little thing.
Aw!
(laughing)
I never had the honor
of serving a whole
company of Rangers before.
I ain't been in the Rangers
for quite a spell, Cassie.
Guess that was plain to see
when I drawed down the Sheriff out there.
Well, there was a day when you
were the fastest gun in the west, Nash.
Much obliged, Captain.
But I reckon today I'm just a, well,
I guess I'm just the biggest windbag.
You know, I didn't even get a shot off.
You ain't alone, Sergeant.
Only thing I've shot
off in the past few years
is my big mouth.
Now, come on, I don't want any of that kind
of talk around here.
I didn't invite you in here to hold a wake.
I just wanted you to know
that there's some folks in this town
who are mighty proud
of what you all tried to do.
It's a dirty shame when a whelp like Lundy
puts a squeeze on a
pretty little thing like you.
Ah, I've been hanging on hoping Jeff would
beat him in the election next week.
And I'm going to keep hanging on
until Lundy is plum wore out.
Or until he shoots me.
And even then, they're going to have
to pound me into Boothill like a steak.
'Cause I'm just too stubborn to lie down.
(chuckling)
Yee-haw, she'd have been some Texas Ranger.
Touchy as a teased snake.
That's a lot of mad Irish on the prod.
You know when a little petticoat like that
keeps losing and fighting
back, what's ailing us?
(dramatic orchestral music)
You know, Jace is right.
We only lost the first skirmish.
No fellow in the wrong can
stand up against a fellow
that's in the right and keeps on a-coming.
Oh.
Men, first of all, I want to tell you
that I'm grateful for the way you responded
to my call quickly and
loyally, no questions asked.
I appreciate that.
But I want to apologize for doing it.
You see, I had forgotten
that you had retired honorably
from the Rangers and set
up new lives for yourselves
because you were, well, you
were tired of guns and fighting.
No, that ain't so, Captain.
We just used up all the bad Indians
and the outlaws in Texas.
We just cleaned ourselves out of business.
We didn't retire.
We just ran out of something to do.
No, no, there was a time when we could have
set this town on its ear.
But we've got to face it.
We're over the hill now.
And me, well, I'm just
a witless old blockhead
to bring you all the way out
here on a wild goose chase.
Captain, you all done speech making?
Yes, I'm all done, Nash.
Except if anybody wants any
help or money to get home?
I ain't going home, not yet!
Not 'til I get done what I came here to do.
I ain't never crawled with a tail
between my legs in my life.
And I'm too old to take on any
new bad habits like that now.
Hold it, Nash!
Now Captain, look, just set yourself down
and let me loose jaw a spell, huh?
Just a minute.
You can't pull rank on me.
You're only a First Sergeant.
I'm pulling age on you!
Age, age, that's all we
got working for us now.
Ain't that what you just said?
Yeah.
You know, I got laughed at out there today.
It's a feeling I ain't never had before.
And I tell you, it don't sit easy with me.
Well, you almost outdrawed him, Nash.
Almost gets a man a quick funeral.
We got to go along with
what the Captain said.
Time's been tailing
us, and it's overtook us.
All right, so we are a mite older.
A man needs food 'til he's dead.
Sometimes a man's dead
when he ain't no use anymore.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Now look, we got
plenty of youth left in us.
I've been totalling up these years
and it figures there's something
around 275 years of fighting savvy
in this outfit put altogether in a lump.
We can whip this Lundy and his gang
if we just go at it right
and use the right artillery.
What do we use?
What do we use?
We'll use our wits!
Well, maybe they've gone rusty too.
Or we wouldn't have come running up
here like a bunch of young
buckos in the first place.
It ain't so.
We all come here a-running
because we was needed.
We packed our bowie knives
and our saddlebags and our Colts
and there's one thing
we didn't pack in there.
That's our wits!
All right.
All right, Nash, but the
election is only a week off.
What have you got in mind?
Well now, Captain, do you recall
how we rounded up them
tinhorn gamblers in Chimney Butte?
Yeah!
And how we bamboozled that big gang
of Comanchero horse thieves on the border?
Yeah.
Trickery and deception.
The old theory, divide and conquer!
That's it.
Get inside the enemy camp.
Gnaw away at his vitals
without him knowing it.
Do you know, this might work.
It just might work here!
(tense music)
I got an idea.
It's horse high, bull
strong, and hog tight.
(upbeat music)
(crowd chattering)
Well, I've got (mumbles drunkenly).
I just said 30 days or $30. (laughs)
Hey, ain't that one of the old moss-backs
that rode into town today?
Yeah, it's the one I blew the hat off of.
What's he up to?
Flip-flopping around like a
wall-eyed mule in the windstorm?
He's probably come
back to even up the score.
Couldn't find his gun in the daylight.
(laughs)
I'll go down to the jail.
You go across there and prod him
with some of your legal talk.
Well, now hold on, Clyde.
You're the lawman.
He's got nothing against you.
Now go on.
(stammers)
Howdy, are you one of those old Rangers
that rode into town today?
Well, I reckon I can call that hand.
You looking for somebody?
No, nobody in particular.
Well, it appeared to me that
you were tailing the sheriff.
You look like one of the
honest men around here.
I don't suppose you got any love
for the crooked law in this town, huh?
Well, maybe.
Well, I'm tailing the Sheriff right enough.
But I ain't such a good shot no more.
I got to get just the right
distance and the right light
and all, but sooner
or later, I'll kill him.
Mister, you happen to be
talking to Judge Amos Polk,
duly constituted to order all felonious
and unruly gunslingers strung up.
Judge Polk?
Well now, I'm glad it's you.
You're a friend of
Mayor Lundy's, ain't you?
Well, we closely associated yeah.
Well, I've been hired by
the mayor to do this job.
Why, that's impossible.
Oh, the mayor's a smart politician.
He knows the sheriff ain't
helping his election chances any.
With the law man and his gunnies gone,
the mayor's racket'll
look a whole lot cleaner.
And he can pick himself
a nice, shiny new sheriff.
But Lundy wouldn't have,
(stammers), but why you?
Well, I just blew in and
now I'll be blowing right out.
Then he won't have me around
and he won't owe me nothing,
except the nice bundle I
already got in my pocket here.
It's a lie!
Lundy wouldn't do it!
(hand thudding)
That old buzzard's loose between the ears.
Maybe the old man's better
than you think he is, Clyde.
Maybe he just let you outdraw
him today to get you off-guard
and make you get careless.
(chair clattering)
(dramatic music)
Well, I guess they're on
their way to see Lundy.
He's started something.
Got him nibbling at the bait real good.
No, no, Clyde, no, no, no.
I do not want you gunnin'
down an old man like that.
But he's out to get me!
He told Amos.
That's right!
Oh, tut tut tut.
Well, what are you so worried about?
You already proved you could outdraw him.
He's tailing me!
You've been tailed before.
Nard, let me get him.
I'll make it real easy
for him, get real close.
Let him reach first.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Besides he is no competition
for you, Clyde. (laughs)
Anyway, the town has
already laughed him out.
Now Clyde, they're on your
side now, but if you kill him,
they're gonna turn against you.
It would give them a nasty taste
in their mouth right before election.
You're willing to let him get me?
Well Clyde, let me put it to
you this way, if you get him,
I'm going to have to take
that little star away from you
and get me a more peace-loving sheriff, hm?
(laughs)
(coughs)
(crowd chattering)
You gonna raise or call, Steel?
I'm pondering.
I already got my last month's
wages and half the next.
The cards have never been so good to me.
You're too many for me fella.
Streaks like that ain't natural.
I just call.
Pair of aces, king high.
I got a pair of aces
with a little four high.
(dramatic music)
Well, I guess you fellas
got the bulge on me.
Sure know when to lose don't
you, Dobie, them dinky pots.
Wait a minute.
You opened, as I recall.
Yeah, that's right, Dobie.
You got your openers.
What's the difference?
I told you you had me beat.
It's real plain that you
didn't want to show openers.
You had three aces.
I don't know where I got 'em.
Easy.
You did the shuffling and dealing.
Yeah, and I cut.
Now, I don't want to hold
up a good poker game
over some picky little
squabbles over the rules,
but seven aces in one deck, (whistles),
that's a lot of aces.
Maybe it's a bad deck?
Been mighty good to you, 'til now.
You saying I rigged this deck, Steel?
I'm saying it.
(tense music)
(gun firing)
Well, we got one deputy on
the ground and three in here.
Very clever, George.
I'm just glad they didn't catch you
making hanky panky with the cards.
Oh, they were easy marks.
I could've put 10 aces in that deck.
But I just didn't want
to show off my talent.
I hope all this flim-flam works,
but Lundy knows we're still
hanging around this town.
He can't see us doing anything
that'll jeopardize his security.
And he knows Nash
is still tailing that sheriff.
That don't bother him none.
Ain't his hide.
He's already seen a sample of my shooting.
Well, maybe he's figuring
that we're thinking on something.
Yeah, thinking is one thing that's
bound to give the mayor fits.
He can't tax it.
He can't stop it.
And he can't even tell
when anybody's doing it.
Hey, this is going to work out just fine.
And we still got three
more days 'fore election.
It's about time for me to
go take another hard twist
on the sheriff's tail.
Reckon he sees me
following him in his sleep now.
That is if he's doing
any sleeping. (laughs)
What about Jason?
Is he seeing to his assignment?
Oh yeah, right about now I figure
he ought to be setting old
Judge Polk's shirttail on fire.
(laughing)
(sighs) You're a mighty
generous man, Jason.
Well, it ain't often a man gets the honor
and the privilege of
drinking with a famous judge
appointed by the governor himself.
(laughs) Well, I got a
secret for you, Jason.
I wasn't appointed by
the governor. (laughs)
I paid $10 for my
office, two buffalo skins,
and a case of whiskey.
No, (laughs) say, that's a good one.
Why didn't you buy the mayor job?
What did you want to be a judge for?
Well, I wanted to be where I could
do people the most good.
And by golly, I was too
because I wasn't in there two days
and I let 10 of my
best friends out of jail.
That's doing good. (laughs)
A man does good like that
ought to get hisself a medal.
Yeah.
Shame Mayor Lundy's fixing to dirty
up such a fine reputation.
Mayor Lundy, what's that, Jason?
I just can't sit still
for a thing like that.
I'll tell you what, Your
Honor, why don't you
sell me your office and get
out before he does it to you.
I'll give you $100 for it.
That's 1,000% profit.
Well, Nard Lundy can't do that to me.
He needs me.
I make some mighty
tricky decisions for him.
Why I even had a couple
of fellas hung for him once.
I know it's hard for an honorable
man like you to swallow.
But Lundy's fixing to dump
you just before the election.
No!
He's got to.
The governor got a hold of
a copy of Jeff Rose's paper.
Well, I'm not going to take the blame
for this all by myself.
He's just as guilty as I am!
That's what he's fixing to do.
He's gonna have a real housecleaning,
clean up this town.
Show the folks that he's
just an honorable, upright man
taken in by a couple of crooks,
like you and Sheriff Barnes.
Barnes?
Why, Lundy hired a gunnie to kill him.
Well, I guess he was a
mite more fond of you.
Excuse me.
(door thudding)
You're boiled, Amos.
Get out.
You try it, Nard.
We're in this thing together.
You're not gonna dump me.
(laughs) Amos, what in the
world are you screaming about?
Nobody's gonna dump you, no.
You (stammers).
Still, it might be kind of a good idea
if you started thinking
about retiring, you know.
You could go out to
California and take it easy.
You're not gonna edge me out.
I got all of my records hid away.
And if I go down, I'm gonna
drag you with me. (laughs)
(door thudding)
It him him like a blast of buckshot.
Old Judge Polk is ornery eyed
and hunting for grass. (laughs)
Well, it's only three days before election.
Lundy doesn't even seem disturbed.
Well, there's one thing
you can figure, he ain't done.
Yeah, he ought to be feeling the burr
under his blanket anytime now.
I'm a little concerned
about Judge Polk and Sheriff Barnes.
They're behaving in a most peculiar manner.
I'm afraid somebody or
something has gotten to them.
Well, the judge is running
real scared about something.
That's a fact.
I figured thr Sheriff was just a little edgy
about that old gunnie
tailing him night and day.
Well, why don't you tail him, Steel.
I want to know everyone he
talks to and everywhere he goes.
And Tucker, follow the judge the same way.
(tense orchestral music)
Steel!
What are you tailing me for?
Well Sheriff, Mayor Lundy
ordered me to follow you, and--
Figured the old man couldn't get me.
Hired you to do the killing, huh?
Now wait just one minute.
If I wait any longer, I'll be dead.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
Two deputies down and two to go.
(tense music)
Tucker, are you following me?
I'm just keeping an eye on you, Judge.
You don't need to.
I've been keeping on eye on His Honor.
And I've been keeping an on you, mister.
Well, both of you can just get.
My orders to trail the Judge come right
from the Mayor himself.
Lundy put you on me?
That's funny, the Mayor
gave me the same job.
You know, this is a mighty confusing town.
You can't tell who's out to get who.
Lundy wouldn't hire an
old hammerhead like you.
Not when he's got us.
Gentlemen, maybe I can outshoot you.
I got 100 hard dollars that says I can.
Now you wanna ante up or pass the buck?
I ain't got $100.
Me neither, but I'd sure
like to get yours, mister.
Well, just throw yourselves in the pot.
I'll put up the hundred
and if you lose you both
just get out of town.
Good.
Let me at that hundred.
Now hold on, what's the contest?
Wing shooting for distance
and accuracy in the dark.
Wing shooting?
(George): Yeah.
For what?
See that flock of geese coming over?
I'm gonna get that bull goose.
You boys just pick
yourselves one out of the flock.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
Ha ha, I guess you boys got
what they call a touch of night blindness.
Maybe we ought to try something easier
like three cushion or ricochet shooting.
Yeah, we'll try it.
Come on, then.
Now, you see that light in
Cassie's saloon over there?
I'm gonna shoot through
the door, shoot that light out.
That bullet's going to bounce
against that potbellied stove,
ricochet across the street,
hit that antelope in front
of the pikesmith's shop,
ricochet across the street again,
hit that cowbell over that store,
come back towards me,
and I'm going to catch
that lead slug with my teeth.
Ain't a man alive that good.
(laughing)
(gun firing)
(metal clanging)
(bell ringing)
You know, I was a
mite bit off on that shot.
If I hadn't caught that
bullet with my teeth,
it might have passed by
me and hit one of you boys
right between the eyes.
Now, you want to try your hands
or you just want to get
on your horses and ride?
We'll uh, we'll be riding.
You boys ought to find good work back east.
Of course, there ain't no
calls for any real shooting.
(laughs)
It ain't safe here no more.
All my deputies are either
dead or they left town!
I ain't got no back up!
You shot one of them yourself.
Well, I figured, somebody said that...
You figured?
Somebody said!
What is the matter with you, Clyde, anyway?
You just falling apart or something, Clyde?
You falling apart?
Is this job gotten to
be too big for you, hm?
Or maybe you'd just as soon not be
part of my new administration
after I get reelected, huh?
(dramatic music)
My price has come down, Your Honor.
It's $50 now.
Well, I'll take it.
It'll pay the stage fare to Mexico.
For good and valuable
consideration here paid over,
I do hereby hand you
the right and title honor
and almaments of my office.
And what the Almighty has
joined up, let no man monkey with.
(tense orchestral music)
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Ho!
Hey, hey!
Right on schedule,
two days before election.
But Lundy's still here.
I reckon it's time to
pay him a little visit.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, come in.
Come in, come in.
We're a little crowded in here,
but I'm sure we can
squeeze you in. (laughing)
What's your pleasure?
We're here to see you out of town.
Oh dear, I thought we had
settled all that foolishness.
You're through, Lundy.
The judge and the sheriff
just took off on the last stage.
Oh?
Well, small loss.
Matter of fact, it'll allow me to dispense
some patronage after
I'm elected, eh? (chuckles)
New blood.
Matter of fact, I must thank you
for helping me to clean house.
Why without your tinhorn
judge and your gun-happy sheriff,
people will begin to get the feel
of what it's like to be free.
Yeah, maybe the people will vote you out.
I believe that people will
vote the way I recommend.
Mm-mm, you can't scare
them into voting for you.
Your gunmen have left town.
You just ain't got no protection.
That is where you're wrong.
You know, I was puzzled at first.
But then it suddenly occurred to me
what you gentlemen were up to.
So I imported an entirely
new staff of associates.
Now I believe I must ask you
to get out of town, now, by high noon!
It's a bluff.
Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you.
(tense music)
These men happen to be the
deadliest guns in the West today.
Big Red Connors, Little Billy Ford,
the Martin brothers,
Frank Mace,
Lafe Jordan.
(laughs)
(dramatic music)
(tense music)
Papa, you have got to give up.
It's no use.
Honey, we almost had Lundy whipped.
This time we'll do it.
Please Papa, he said be
out of town by high noon.
It's almost that time now.
Things are a lot worse than they were
when we started, Captain.
Jeff, we can't back down now.
We won the support and the
respect of all the townspeople.
And they're ready to vote for you.
You really believe your
handful of old Rangers
can make a stand against
that gang of lawless cutthroats?
My men are setting up
our first line of defense now.
This town will long remember the gunfight
at Cassie's corral.
(tense music)
Sun's about dead center.
Be careful of that mirror, boys.
I had it shipped all the way from New York
in the good old days.
Don't you worry, Miss Cassie.
If we bust it, we'll get you
a bigger and better one
from that fancy mail order
house called Monky Ward's.
(hammer thudding)
Hand me that war cap.
Now give me some of that slack.
Miss Black, we certainly
appreciate your help
and the use of your establishment.
I'm only afraid it's going
to suffer considerably.
Can't suffer anymore than
it's already been suffering.
Well, I think you better be on your way
over to the General Store.
Oh, good luck, Captain.
Thank you.
(horse whinnying)
High noon!
They've had their chance.
Now let's run them out.
(men shouting)
(upbeat harmonica music)
They're holed up in there.
Apparently they didn't take
my warning seriously, huh?
I didn't think they'd be
foolish enough to fight.
Well, this won't take long.
Two or three of you, break in there.
Tell them to get on their horses and ride.
(door thudding)
We're in this room!
(fabric rustling)
(guns firing)
(glass shattering)
(guns firing)
(horses whinnying)
They split it up, get outside!
(wood thudding)
Ah, get something heavy to ram it!
Wait a minute, use the piano.
(bullet splashing)
(grunting)
(gun clicking)
He hit you?
No, just got me between draws.
Get down in the street.
Flush them out.
All right, ram it.
(screaming)
(explosion roaring)
Sounds like they've got an army!
Let's get out of here!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(upbeat music)
They're heading for the Helldorado.
Stay out of here now.
I don't want my place shot up.
Too bad.
You've got the best hole up town.
Now get in there.
Scatter, scatter!
(woman screaming)
I'll take the balcony
and get them from above.
You 'em slow up down here.
Freeze or I'll let you have it!
(glass shattering)
(gun firing)
(wood clattering)
(grunting)
(glass clattering)
(tense music)
Here's another.
I guess--
Stop!
(hooves clopping)
There goes that tinhorn
that hired us without pay.
(dog barking)
Just let us get our horses.
Maybe we can catch
him before he gets too far.
No warrants for you here.
You can go.
But we don't want you back.
Don't worry.
Robbing banks and jumping
claims is faster, easier,
and it pays a whole lot better.
(cheering)
(applauding)
And so, my friends, thanks to the courage
of Captain Hayes and
his valiant Texas Rangers
this town can now look
forward to the start of a new era.
As your duly elected
mayor, I promise a new day
that will last a long, long time.
Honest lawmen, true justice in our court.
We may never be a big
town, but we'll be peaceable,
quiet, and happy.
Raising our children in an atmosphere
free of gambling, vice, and corruption.
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
And to completely erase
our soiled and tarnished past,
we'll even change the
names on a lot of things.
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
(crowd laughing)
Well, I reckon it's
time for us to be riding.
You want me to help you up
on that horse, you old droophorn?
Any of you fellows come
up wanted for hanging,
I'll be glad to try your case.
I'm a $50 judge now, you know.
(laughing)
I'm proud of you boys.
Best outfit a man ever headed up.
That goes for me, too.
I hope you all come back real soon.
Next time, I'll do my spider dance for you.
(laughing)
I sure would like to be here,
Miss Cassie, that next time.
(somber music)
Captain, if you need us,
if it ain't too long, that is.
Attention!
(horse whinnying)
(gentle orchestral music)
Well, this is where I take
the south fork for Abilene.
And if I head east I'll be in
the territory of Oklahoma.
I reckon if I split the
difference between you,
I ought to come out
somewhere near Kansas City.
Say, you know them two young fellas
I said I've been training down in Texas?
(George): Yeah.
They're only seven and eight-year-old.
They're my grandsons.
What what you train them
for, to be heartbroke?
Well, I reckon there's a few things
I can still teach them.
Like not making some of
the fool mistakes I done.
That's always the way it is.
When a man starts handing out good advice,
he ain't up to set no more bad examples.
Well now, I ain't heard of you
winning no big battles in Oklahoma.
Well, I started a bunch of them
at every saloon down there.
I just wasn't there at the finish.
You know Sergeant, it must
be nice to have your own home
and your family and watch
your grandkids grow up.
I sort of got a family in Kansas City.
These old timers in this old folks home.
We could put you up in Abilene, George.
We got many places for you to bed down.
That is, if--
No, thank you, Sergeant.
I'll just go back to Oklahoma
and find myself a new saloon.
You know something?
Since I've been up here
I've got my old knack back
with the cards again.
I just might get myself a lucky
streak a-going down there.
(laughing)
I reckon I got enough to
tell the folks back home
to last out the rest of my time.
(laughs) You know, I've been accused
of telling tall tales before,
but just wait until they
hear this one. (laughs)
Well, I guess we'd better be riding out.
So long and good luck, fellers.
Well, so long, Rangers.
We'll get together again real soon.
Well, say, so long.
So long.
(peaceful orchestral music)
(tense orchestral music)
Get up, get up!
Ha!
Get up!
(man shouting)
Get up now, get up, move
along now, move along!
(man shouting)
Get up there, now!
Get up there, move along, move along!
(man shouting)
Whoa, whoa!
Welcome to Boulder, gents, welcome.
Here you are.
Poker chips compliments
of Mayor Nard Lundy.
Just waltz right over
to the El Dorado Saloon
and ante yourself into a fortune.
Remember to vote.
It's Nard Lundy's town,
let's keep it that way.
- Welcome to Boulder, sir.
- Thank you, son.
There you are.
Compliments of the mayor.
Now why should the mayor
give me free poker chips?
Election time's coming in two weeks.
Just the mayor's way of making sure
you remember his name come voting time.
Vote?
I can't vote.
I don't even live here.
I just came here to see my
daughter and her husband.
Good!
You've got family here.
That's just the same as a resident.
Now don't forget to vote.
It's Nard Lundy!
(upbeat piano music)
(gun firing)
(liquid splattering)
Just like I always figured.
Jeff Rose is full of pickle juice.
(laughing)
I'm Captain Oren Hayes,
late of the Texas Rangers.
That man you just shot full of holes
happens to be my son-in-law.
You tell me where I can
find his newspaper office?
Yeah, around the corner there to the right.
Papa!
Captain Hayes!
Sweetheart, Jeff.
What are you doing so far from Texas?
Why didn't you let us know you were coming?
Well, I thought I'd surprise you.
I haven't seen you since you were married.
I've been retired from the
Rangers now for some years.
And you got lonesome.
Well, a man just can't quit.
Can't sit around and listen
to your arteries harden.
I want some action, travel.
Helps start the blood.
Well, we're real happy to see you.
And you stay as long as you please.
Thank you, Jeff, thank you.
Say, looks like you've got
quite a business going here.
But, uh, tell me something, son,
what are whose wanted
posters on you around town?
Oh, those aren't wanted posters, Papa.
Those are campaign posters.
Jeff is a candidate for mayor.
Well, the way they're
shooting his picture full of holes,
I'd say you're not wanted.
Well, Mayor Lundy's a very
clever opponent, Captain.
Owns most of this town
and runs it from his Helldorado Saloon.
Well, ha, ha, ha, Charlie, how are you?
You look wonderful.
Sheila, my dear, lovely as always. (laughs)
Well, how are you, Ed?
(bright, cheerful music)
Fellow come in on the stage a
couple of minutes ago Mayor.
Old fellow.
Says he used to be with the Texas Rangers.
And Jeff Rose is his son-in-law.
Well, if he's old, he
shouldn't worry you, Clyde.
And if he doesn't live
here, he can't vote for Jeff,
so he doesn't worry me.
Either of you seen this
new edition of The Sentinel?
He's got your whole record in there.
Mine too.
Yours too, Clyde.
All the facts and figures,
the dates, all the graphs,
the payoffs, all the illegal taxes.
Well, he says I ain't a proper judge.
He says I'm guilty of
malfeasance, whatever that is.
It means you are a walking whiskey vat
and you bought your Justice
of the Peace office years ago
from Charlie Reaves.
But I've still got my office.
Only because I keep you there.
Don't forget that, Your Honor.
Now why don't you just shut up, Amos?
You know, a smart man
who's handy with words,
he's a tough opponent.
But when he starts to
smear you with the truth,
he is deadly.
Yeah, yeah, but if this paper ever
gets to the Governor's office.
Get the boys altogether.
Round up every copy
of this that's in circulation.
Buy them, steal them,
take them, but get them.
Been telling you all along, Nard,
you give that newspaper
fellow too much room.
Now the old ways got things done right.
Oh, no, no, no, no, Clyde,
I'm not the sort of man
to use force when gentle
persuasion will serve.
Why don't you get your deputies together
and pay yourself a little
call on Mr. Rose, mm?
You sure raked this Lundy over the coals.
Well, if it's a battle he
wants let's give it to him.
I'll pitch in and help.
Do me good.
Little action is what I need.
(door clattering)
You here on law business, Sheriff?
No, we're just a bunch of plain citizens.
We've come to tell you that
we don't hold with your brand
of mud-slinging, name-calling politics.
And we don't want you
printing nothing more.
Nothing.
Now wait a minute, Sheriff.
You can't interfere with
the freedom of the press.
You keep out of this you old moss-horn.
Moss-horn?
Listen, young fellow, on your best day
you couldn't curry mules in my outfit.
(Hannah): Papa!
(wood clattering)
Papa!
(grunting)
(grunting)
All right, let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here.
Jeff, Jeff?
Yes.
Jeff?
Jeff, you've got to give up.
Lundy's too powerful.
He's too dangerous.
Maybe next time he'll order
Sheriff Barnes to use his gun.
That's exactly why he's got
to be fought and beaten.
Jeff, the best thing for you to do
is strap on your own gun
and fight him in his way.
Captain Hayes, I know gun
play was necessary in the days
when you were with the Texas Rangers,
but if we're ever going to
have progress in the West,
we've got to learn to fight our battles
with ideas and words.
Son, looks like you've
kind of run out of words.
(sighs) Maybe Hannah's right.
Maybe I should give up.
You know, a lot of people
were glad to see me
run against Lundy, but none of them
would lift a finger to help.
I know a handful of
men, just three who could
straighten out Lundy
and his gang in a hurry.
Who's that, Captain?
Fastest guns in the West.
Finest riders.
Top scouts.
Crack men who served
with me on the River Brages
and brought law and
order to the Lone Star state.
The pride of the Texas Rangers.
(tense music)
(telegraph clicking)
First off, I'll send to
Abilene for Nash Crawford.
His gun was quicker
than the blink of a cougar,
faster than the flick
of prairie dog's tail.
You'll see a gun, mister,
and you'll be dead before it clears out.
(glass shattering)
Gosh Grandpa, is that exactly the way you
had the shoot out with Sam Vance?
Well, of course the saloon weren't
all cluttered up with gee-gaws
and dinguses like this.
Now you fellows clean
this up 'fore your ma sees it.
And this the exact kind of gun you carried
in the Texas Rangers, isn't it, Grandpa?
Well, it's a mite smaller than my Colt .45,
more like a hideout gun.
What's a hideout gun?
Well, come on over here
and I'll tell you about it.
Sit yourself down there.
Now I recall I was wintering in the bend
on the San Sava River,
east of Manardville, see?
The Captain sent me
on to scout after a fellow
who was wanted for
murder and horse thieving.
Well boys, that's when I got my first taste
of a hideout gun.
You see--
What was that crash I
heard in here a minute ago?
Oh, my fault, Ellie.
Had a little accident with a lamp.
I suppose the Texas Rangers just
won another battle
against overwhelming odds?
(somber music)
Run along, boys.
It's time for your nap.
Oh mom, Grandpa was
just going tell us about--
It'll keep, it'll keep.
Do like your ma says.
Pa, I know you don't mean any harm.
But you've got to stop filling the boys'
heads full of those
blood-curdling fairytales
about fighting horse thieves and Indians.
Fairy tales?
Well, them things really happened.
Fact is, I ain't even told the
kids the bloodiest ones yet.
(telegraph clicking)
(Oren): Next, I'll send to
Kansas City for Jason Fitch,
second best man with a gun
and the finest scout in the Rangers.
He has eyes like a hawk in the daytime,
eyes like an owl at night.
(tense music)
Captain, don't ride out
after them two fellows.
I know they're a mile off, but
I can tell they're Comanches.
That big one's a chief.
I can tell by the mark on his forehead.
I can see the tip of a feather sticking up
behind a boulder way
off there to the south.
That's a feather of a
scissor-tail fly catcher.
There's another Comanche beneath it.
(wood clattering)
It's an ambush, them
Redskins bushwhacked us!
Oh, you must have been a
marvelous scout, Mr. Fitch,
to recognize all those
terrible Indians so far away.
Takes eyes like an eagle, Miss Fletcher.
I'm Mrs. Murphy.
Ah yes, you're Mrs.
Murphy not Miss Fletcher.
Say, you're a pretty little thing.
Mr. Fitch, you're really
much too bold at times.
I once had a shoot out with three dudes
over a woman like you.
Mr. Fitch!
Real catalog woman
she was, pretty little thing
just like you.
Mr. Fitch!
Mr. Fitch, Mr. Fitch!
Find your own woman, boy.
This telegram just came for you.
Somebody's dead.
It don't have a black border.
Let's see it.
Can you tell me what that says, Ms. Murphy?
I need my strong glasses for reading.
It says, Brazos.
(dramatic music)
Brazos?
That's the old code word of our company.
It means trouble.
Strap on your guns and hit the trail.
What else does it say?
There's just an address.
Sully's Mine on Feather
Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.
Signed, Captain Oren Hayes.
Captain Oren Hayes?
Our old outfit's back in action.
I gotta light out for Nevada fast.
We'll help you get packed, Mr. Fitch.
How can I help Captain Hayes?
Don't you feel up to it?
Sure, I feel up to it.
And over it and way past it.
Nevada's a long way from Kansas City.
I haven't got no horse, nor artillery,
and no money to make a trip if I did.
Well, maybe when I don't show up,
the Captain will think I'm dead.
Maybe I ought to be.
Good night.
(somber music)
(knocking)
Come on in, it's your house.
Boy just delivered this telegram for you.
Who in tarnation would send me a telegram?
(paper rustling)
What's it say, Pa?
Brazos!
That's all, Brazos?
No, there's a address here too.
Sully's Mine on Feather
Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.
And it's signed Captain Oren Hayes,
my old Captain from
the Texas Rangers, Ellie.
He needs me.
He's calling me to ride again.
You mean it's trouble?
Shooting and fighting?
Brazos, it's the old code word.
He always used it to call us together.
Well, it's a kind of reunion.
Pa, it's been years since you've heard
from Captain Hayes and--
Every man in our outfit'll come a-running
when he hears that word, Brazos.
But your outfit's all broken up and spread
over the whole country, retired.
No Ranger retires perpendicularly.
Well, it's an awful long way to Nevada.
Yeah, well it was a far
piece down to New Oasis,
past Fort Clark and up the Devil's River
and on to Beaver Lake
to hit the Kickapoos, but we made it.
Well, how are you going to
eat and sleep along the way?
What were you going to do for money?
Oh, I saved a little.
(Ellie): From what?
From not spending it.
Well, if your mind's made
up, then I guess I can
I only kiss you goodbye
and wish you good luck.
Yes sir, I'll just throw
this gear on my horse--
Pa!
What?
You don't own a horse.
(dramatic music)
(Oren): And last, but not least,
I'll send for Gentleman George Agnew.
We called him the Gentleman because
of his spotless character,
his courtly manners,
his spit and polished appearance.
(body thudding)
(sighing)
Now, I'm telling you, Gentlemen George,
you stay out of this saloon for good.
Doggone Mack, I'm going to miss going
in that saloon of yours.
You know when I get to
liking a man I freeze to him.
Well, I'm freezing you out.
Now there's your cards.
And don't try using
that slippery deck again.
Next place, you're liable
to wind up full of holes.
Well, so they caught
you pulling a little flim-flam
and jiggery-pokery with the
cards again, huh, George?
Sheriff, I just filled out
an inside straight fair and square.
Now, I could have used
this ace or this deuce,
but the deuces wasn't wild.
No, Mack didn't throw
you out just for the exercise.
(laughs) That joke was on Mack.
All I did was reach in my
pistol pocket for my harmonica.
Here, I'll play you a little piece.
(upbeat harmonica music)
Uh, George, I think you
best move on out of range.
Now why don't you go on
home and get some sleep?
I ain't got no room, Frank.
I've been doing all my sleeping
in Mack's saloon in yonder.
Oh well, if you need a
bed, I could toss you in jail.
Jail, what for?
For most anything.
For inciting a riot, for
littering up the streets.
Now, now come on.
I don't want to put you
to all that bother, Frank.
I'll just find myself another saloon.
George, you have used up every saloon
in the whole Oklahoma territory.
Well, there must be somebody
building a new one around here somewheres.
(Delivery Man): George, George Agnew?
You?
I got a telegram for you, George.
Who in the world would
be sending me a telegram?
Let's see this thing here.
Oh.
Yeehaw, Brazos!
What does that mean?
I'm wanted.
Well, now that don't surprise me none.
Who by?
The Texas Rangers.
My old Captain wants
me to come up to Nevada.
You know I've got to get me
a broom-tailed filly for and ride.
(comical orchestral music)
George, you danged old fool!
Come back here!
Hee-yah, faster, get along, yah, faster!
Hee-yah, get along, yah, yah, yah.
Why you long-legged, U-knecked, broom keel,
the first time I ever seen
one jackass riding another.
Now who are you calling a jackass?
You old moss-back,
bull-winded, kettle-bellied--
George!
Nash!
(laughing)
Hey, good to see you.
Good to see you again.
You answering the Captain's call?
Yep, figured he had real
need of good fighting men.
But I don't know, seeing
as how he called on you.
Why you old coot.
Who got them two cattle rustlers
down in Bandeer County that time?
I did.
I winged them for you.
(laughing)
George, uh, you're looking a little poorly.
Kind of scummy and gone to grass-belly.
You don't look like you
wintered too good yourself.
And who helped you up on that horse?
You must be 95 if you're a day.
Well, I reckon my gun ain't aged none.
(laughs) I reckon that's
what counts, Sergeant.
Then let's ride.
Yah, Brazos.
(laughing)
(triumphant orchestral music)
Jason!
Nash!
George.
Jase! (laughs)
Jason!
George, I know you're
a sight for sore eyes!
Well, your eyes must be mighty sore, Jace.
I'm Nash Crawford!
Oh sure, I'd know you anywhere, Nash.
Red hair, straight as a
ramrod, skinny waist like a girl's.
Well, by jingles the Captain sure called up
the best men of the old outfit.
And the Captain don't
like to be kept waiting,
so let's move out.
(upbeat music)
Well all you Texas Rangers,
wherever you may be
I'll tell you of some trouble
that happened once to me
Our Captain, he informed
us one dark and stormy night
Before you reach the river, boys
You'll have yourself a fight.
The weather, it was dreadful
The rain came down like stones.
The wind was even stronger
(singing drowned out by footsteps)
I saw the Indians coming
I heard him give a yell
My feeling at that minute,
no mother's son can tell.
(comical classical music)
(upbeat harmonica music)
Yahoo!
I hate to say this, sir.
I know they were your
best men, but I'm worried.
What do you mean, son?
They're a little old, aren't they?
Yes, I guess they are.
But then maybe so am I.
My boy, a man never really sees himself
till he looks at the friends he once knew.
Yahoo!
(George shouting)
(Jeff): What are we going to do, Captain?
Well, I certainly am not
going to tell them how I feel.
Sure, they're old.
They haven't got much left.
But they proved they're still
Rangers by answering my call.
All they need is something that needs them,
something that needs doing.
I know that feeling too.
I just wish I hadn't let you get into this.
Now you stop fretting, Jeff.
We're gonna get you elected mayor.
All right, all right,
Sergeant, call assembly.
You heard the Captain, fall in.
Assemble you juggly, wrinkle-horned...
I'm assembled.
Well, assemble lengthwise.
Assembled neat and proper, Captain.
All right, men.
Now you know why
I've called you altogether.
Yeah, to roust out some tinhorn mayor
and his four-flushing gang.
I say lead us right in and
clean them out tonight, Captain.
Hold it, Nash, hold it.
You see, Lundy has the
support of a corrupt judge,
gun-happy sheriff, plus all his deputies.
Well, if there ain't more than 20 of them,
Captain, I'll ride in and get them myself.
Now hold it, hold it men.
If this comes to a showdown
it could be well, quite a fight.
We haven't been together in some time.
Maybe we ought to sharpen
up for a couple of days.
You know, some of us
might be just a little rusty.
I ain't rusty, Captain.
Practice my draw almost every day.
I've been training a couple
of young fellows down in Abilene.
I guess you ain't heard, Captain.
I've been making a name for myself
in that Oklahoma territory
from one end to the other.
You figured wearing these
specs is slowing me down?
Ain't so.
Just holding me up sharper in other ways.
I can smell what a man's fixing to do.
I can hear the sneeze of a flea.
You can?
All right, men, that's good,
but we're wasting time.
Election is only a week off.
Jeff, you ride in town tonight.
Tell Lundy he's got until tomorrow morning
to clear out, along
with his crooked friends.
And--
If you don't take the
warning, Captain Hayes
and his Rangers are gonna ride in at dawn,
ready for a showdown.
Oh, I am disappointed in you, Jeff.
I thought you were strongly
against violence and gunplay.
I don't think there'll be any.
I figure you'll go.
Texas Rangers?
They're a mean bunch.
Maybe I ought to injunct
a legal paper against them.
Whereas, the people of this here town
declare that all troublemakers
looking to make trouble--
Why don't you save that
for your next Supreme
Court decision. (stammers)
Go finish your beer, will you?
(Amos): Well, thank you.
You said that old fella
wouldn't worry you none
when he rode into town.
Ah, it's just a bluff.
Jeff Rose would never
sanction open warfare.
You'll do nothing about it?
You're just going to sit
there and let them Rangers
ride in free?
Ex-Rangers, Clyde.
They got no authority here.
Sure, sure, let them ride
in free, but if any of them
start making any trouble
you have got a sworn duty
to put down any attempt
at gunplay on the streets
of our fair town, Sheriff.
Now you're talking, Nard.
Real shootout on Main Street.
(bright piano music)
(tense orchestral music)
(hooves clopping)
Captain Hayes of the Texas Rangers, sir.
Have you received my ultimatum?
Captain, I just couldn't
believe that you were serious.
(laughs) I have the greatest admiration
for the reputation of the Rangers.
But I do believe that you
have no true military authority
and certainly not here
in the state of Nevada.
That's a legal ruling,
section four, article two.
Let all men known by the--
(laughs) All right, Judge.
We are here as a private company
of vigilantes, Mr. Mayor,
to preserve law and order
and to ensure an honest election.
How would you propose to do that, sir?
By seeing you and your associates
out of this town now,
by force, if necessary.
Captain, as you see, we are unarmed.
I'll give you one minute to get armed.
Captain (laughs), we are a peaceable town
of law and order.
We do not want any
bloodshed on our streets.
Now, why can't we settle this
obvious electioneering
stunt in a sporting matter, eh?
(laughs)
Why don't we have a shooting contest?
The losers to leave town.
Now, you select your best
marksman and fastest draw.
Now when I shout draw, go for your gun.
(tense music)
Ready?
Draw!
(gun firing)
(crowd laughing)
Well Captain, you wanted a fair draw.
I figured he was gonna count first.
Let me have him.
I can outdraw you the best
day you ever lived, Sheriff.
That's my son-in-law, you idiot.
Oh.
Captain, I'm afraid that you and your men
have been the victims of some poor advice.
Boulder is a friendly and peaceful town.
Now if you'll all just step
inside to the Helldorado,
I'll send drinks all around.
That makes sense to me.
Mount up!
Retreat and re-form.
Oh.
(dramatic music)
Well Jeff, it's just like you always said,
the West has changed.
Things aren't what they used to be.
(chuckling)
They certainly aren't.
(crowd laughing)
(clapping)
(Cassie): It was a good try!
And it was more than
anyone else in this town
has ever had the nerve to do.
Thank you, Madam.
Oh, I'm not madam.
It's Miss, Miss Cassie McGuire.
Cassie McGuire?
The famous singer and dancer?
Boy, I once paid $2 in
Tombstone to see you perform.
Doggone, I saw you in a saloon in Tulsa.
And they couldn't get
another in that place that
wanted to take a good look at you.
How nice it is to run
into old friends like this!
Can I offer you all a drink?
No, I don't think we should.
Captain, you going to
turn down another drink?
Well, Mayor Lundy doesn't approve
of any business coming
into my place anyway.
Well in that case, Miss McGuire,
we accept your offer with pleasure.
Good!
Come on!
Singer, dancer, and you own a saloon?
Say, you're a pretty little thing.
Aw!
(laughing)
I never had the honor
of serving a whole
company of Rangers before.
I ain't been in the Rangers
for quite a spell, Cassie.
Guess that was plain to see
when I drawed down the Sheriff out there.
Well, there was a day when you
were the fastest gun in the west, Nash.
Much obliged, Captain.
But I reckon today I'm just a, well,
I guess I'm just the biggest windbag.
You know, I didn't even get a shot off.
You ain't alone, Sergeant.
Only thing I've shot
off in the past few years
is my big mouth.
Now, come on, I don't want any of that kind
of talk around here.
I didn't invite you in here to hold a wake.
I just wanted you to know
that there's some folks in this town
who are mighty proud
of what you all tried to do.
It's a dirty shame when a whelp like Lundy
puts a squeeze on a
pretty little thing like you.
Ah, I've been hanging on hoping Jeff would
beat him in the election next week.
And I'm going to keep hanging on
until Lundy is plum wore out.
Or until he shoots me.
And even then, they're going to have
to pound me into Boothill like a steak.
'Cause I'm just too stubborn to lie down.
(chuckling)
Yee-haw, she'd have been some Texas Ranger.
Touchy as a teased snake.
That's a lot of mad Irish on the prod.
You know when a little petticoat like that
keeps losing and fighting
back, what's ailing us?
(dramatic orchestral music)
You know, Jace is right.
We only lost the first skirmish.
No fellow in the wrong can
stand up against a fellow
that's in the right and keeps on a-coming.
Oh.
Men, first of all, I want to tell you
that I'm grateful for the way you responded
to my call quickly and
loyally, no questions asked.
I appreciate that.
But I want to apologize for doing it.
You see, I had forgotten
that you had retired honorably
from the Rangers and set
up new lives for yourselves
because you were, well, you
were tired of guns and fighting.
No, that ain't so, Captain.
We just used up all the bad Indians
and the outlaws in Texas.
We just cleaned ourselves out of business.
We didn't retire.
We just ran out of something to do.
No, no, there was a time when we could have
set this town on its ear.
But we've got to face it.
We're over the hill now.
And me, well, I'm just
a witless old blockhead
to bring you all the way out
here on a wild goose chase.
Captain, you all done speech making?
Yes, I'm all done, Nash.
Except if anybody wants any
help or money to get home?
I ain't going home, not yet!
Not 'til I get done what I came here to do.
I ain't never crawled with a tail
between my legs in my life.
And I'm too old to take on any
new bad habits like that now.
Hold it, Nash!
Now Captain, look, just set yourself down
and let me loose jaw a spell, huh?
Just a minute.
You can't pull rank on me.
You're only a First Sergeant.
I'm pulling age on you!
Age, age, that's all we
got working for us now.
Ain't that what you just said?
Yeah.
You know, I got laughed at out there today.
It's a feeling I ain't never had before.
And I tell you, it don't sit easy with me.
Well, you almost outdrawed him, Nash.
Almost gets a man a quick funeral.
We got to go along with
what the Captain said.
Time's been tailing
us, and it's overtook us.
All right, so we are a mite older.
A man needs food 'til he's dead.
Sometimes a man's dead
when he ain't no use anymore.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Now look, we got
plenty of youth left in us.
I've been totalling up these years
and it figures there's something
around 275 years of fighting savvy
in this outfit put altogether in a lump.
We can whip this Lundy and his gang
if we just go at it right
and use the right artillery.
What do we use?
What do we use?
We'll use our wits!
Well, maybe they've gone rusty too.
Or we wouldn't have come running up
here like a bunch of young
buckos in the first place.
It ain't so.
We all come here a-running
because we was needed.
We packed our bowie knives
and our saddlebags and our Colts
and there's one thing
we didn't pack in there.
That's our wits!
All right.
All right, Nash, but the
election is only a week off.
What have you got in mind?
Well now, Captain, do you recall
how we rounded up them
tinhorn gamblers in Chimney Butte?
Yeah!
And how we bamboozled that big gang
of Comanchero horse thieves on the border?
Yeah.
Trickery and deception.
The old theory, divide and conquer!
That's it.
Get inside the enemy camp.
Gnaw away at his vitals
without him knowing it.
Do you know, this might work.
It just might work here!
(tense music)
I got an idea.
It's horse high, bull
strong, and hog tight.
(upbeat music)
(crowd chattering)
Well, I've got (mumbles drunkenly).
I just said 30 days or $30. (laughs)
Hey, ain't that one of the old moss-backs
that rode into town today?
Yeah, it's the one I blew the hat off of.
What's he up to?
Flip-flopping around like a
wall-eyed mule in the windstorm?
He's probably come
back to even up the score.
Couldn't find his gun in the daylight.
(laughs)
I'll go down to the jail.
You go across there and prod him
with some of your legal talk.
Well, now hold on, Clyde.
You're the lawman.
He's got nothing against you.
Now go on.
(stammers)
Howdy, are you one of those old Rangers
that rode into town today?
Well, I reckon I can call that hand.
You looking for somebody?
No, nobody in particular.
Well, it appeared to me that
you were tailing the sheriff.
You look like one of the
honest men around here.
I don't suppose you got any love
for the crooked law in this town, huh?
Well, maybe.
Well, I'm tailing the Sheriff right enough.
But I ain't such a good shot no more.
I got to get just the right
distance and the right light
and all, but sooner
or later, I'll kill him.
Mister, you happen to be
talking to Judge Amos Polk,
duly constituted to order all felonious
and unruly gunslingers strung up.
Judge Polk?
Well now, I'm glad it's you.
You're a friend of
Mayor Lundy's, ain't you?
Well, we closely associated yeah.
Well, I've been hired by
the mayor to do this job.
Why, that's impossible.
Oh, the mayor's a smart politician.
He knows the sheriff ain't
helping his election chances any.
With the law man and his gunnies gone,
the mayor's racket'll
look a whole lot cleaner.
And he can pick himself
a nice, shiny new sheriff.
But Lundy wouldn't have,
(stammers), but why you?
Well, I just blew in and
now I'll be blowing right out.
Then he won't have me around
and he won't owe me nothing,
except the nice bundle I
already got in my pocket here.
It's a lie!
Lundy wouldn't do it!
(hand thudding)
That old buzzard's loose between the ears.
Maybe the old man's better
than you think he is, Clyde.
Maybe he just let you outdraw
him today to get you off-guard
and make you get careless.
(chair clattering)
(dramatic music)
Well, I guess they're on
their way to see Lundy.
He's started something.
Got him nibbling at the bait real good.
No, no, Clyde, no, no, no.
I do not want you gunnin'
down an old man like that.
But he's out to get me!
He told Amos.
That's right!
Oh, tut tut tut.
Well, what are you so worried about?
You already proved you could outdraw him.
He's tailing me!
You've been tailed before.
Nard, let me get him.
I'll make it real easy
for him, get real close.
Let him reach first.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Besides he is no competition
for you, Clyde. (laughs)
Anyway, the town has
already laughed him out.
Now Clyde, they're on your
side now, but if you kill him,
they're gonna turn against you.
It would give them a nasty taste
in their mouth right before election.
You're willing to let him get me?
Well Clyde, let me put it to
you this way, if you get him,
I'm going to have to take
that little star away from you
and get me a more peace-loving sheriff, hm?
(laughs)
(coughs)
(crowd chattering)
You gonna raise or call, Steel?
I'm pondering.
I already got my last month's
wages and half the next.
The cards have never been so good to me.
You're too many for me fella.
Streaks like that ain't natural.
I just call.
Pair of aces, king high.
I got a pair of aces
with a little four high.
(dramatic music)
Well, I guess you fellas
got the bulge on me.
Sure know when to lose don't
you, Dobie, them dinky pots.
Wait a minute.
You opened, as I recall.
Yeah, that's right, Dobie.
You got your openers.
What's the difference?
I told you you had me beat.
It's real plain that you
didn't want to show openers.
You had three aces.
I don't know where I got 'em.
Easy.
You did the shuffling and dealing.
Yeah, and I cut.
Now, I don't want to hold
up a good poker game
over some picky little
squabbles over the rules,
but seven aces in one deck, (whistles),
that's a lot of aces.
Maybe it's a bad deck?
Been mighty good to you, 'til now.
You saying I rigged this deck, Steel?
I'm saying it.
(tense music)
(gun firing)
Well, we got one deputy on
the ground and three in here.
Very clever, George.
I'm just glad they didn't catch you
making hanky panky with the cards.
Oh, they were easy marks.
I could've put 10 aces in that deck.
But I just didn't want
to show off my talent.
I hope all this flim-flam works,
but Lundy knows we're still
hanging around this town.
He can't see us doing anything
that'll jeopardize his security.
And he knows Nash
is still tailing that sheriff.
That don't bother him none.
Ain't his hide.
He's already seen a sample of my shooting.
Well, maybe he's figuring
that we're thinking on something.
Yeah, thinking is one thing that's
bound to give the mayor fits.
He can't tax it.
He can't stop it.
And he can't even tell
when anybody's doing it.
Hey, this is going to work out just fine.
And we still got three
more days 'fore election.
It's about time for me to
go take another hard twist
on the sheriff's tail.
Reckon he sees me
following him in his sleep now.
That is if he's doing
any sleeping. (laughs)
What about Jason?
Is he seeing to his assignment?
Oh yeah, right about now I figure
he ought to be setting old
Judge Polk's shirttail on fire.
(laughing)
(sighs) You're a mighty
generous man, Jason.
Well, it ain't often a man gets the honor
and the privilege of
drinking with a famous judge
appointed by the governor himself.
(laughs) Well, I got a
secret for you, Jason.
I wasn't appointed by
the governor. (laughs)
I paid $10 for my
office, two buffalo skins,
and a case of whiskey.
No, (laughs) say, that's a good one.
Why didn't you buy the mayor job?
What did you want to be a judge for?
Well, I wanted to be where I could
do people the most good.
And by golly, I was too
because I wasn't in there two days
and I let 10 of my
best friends out of jail.
That's doing good. (laughs)
A man does good like that
ought to get hisself a medal.
Yeah.
Shame Mayor Lundy's fixing to dirty
up such a fine reputation.
Mayor Lundy, what's that, Jason?
I just can't sit still
for a thing like that.
I'll tell you what, Your
Honor, why don't you
sell me your office and get
out before he does it to you.
I'll give you $100 for it.
That's 1,000% profit.
Well, Nard Lundy can't do that to me.
He needs me.
I make some mighty
tricky decisions for him.
Why I even had a couple
of fellas hung for him once.
I know it's hard for an honorable
man like you to swallow.
But Lundy's fixing to dump
you just before the election.
No!
He's got to.
The governor got a hold of
a copy of Jeff Rose's paper.
Well, I'm not going to take the blame
for this all by myself.
He's just as guilty as I am!
That's what he's fixing to do.
He's gonna have a real housecleaning,
clean up this town.
Show the folks that he's
just an honorable, upright man
taken in by a couple of crooks,
like you and Sheriff Barnes.
Barnes?
Why, Lundy hired a gunnie to kill him.
Well, I guess he was a
mite more fond of you.
Excuse me.
(door thudding)
You're boiled, Amos.
Get out.
You try it, Nard.
We're in this thing together.
You're not gonna dump me.
(laughs) Amos, what in the
world are you screaming about?
Nobody's gonna dump you, no.
You (stammers).
Still, it might be kind of a good idea
if you started thinking
about retiring, you know.
You could go out to
California and take it easy.
You're not gonna edge me out.
I got all of my records hid away.
And if I go down, I'm gonna
drag you with me. (laughs)
(door thudding)
It him him like a blast of buckshot.
Old Judge Polk is ornery eyed
and hunting for grass. (laughs)
Well, it's only three days before election.
Lundy doesn't even seem disturbed.
Well, there's one thing
you can figure, he ain't done.
Yeah, he ought to be feeling the burr
under his blanket anytime now.
I'm a little concerned
about Judge Polk and Sheriff Barnes.
They're behaving in a most peculiar manner.
I'm afraid somebody or
something has gotten to them.
Well, the judge is running
real scared about something.
That's a fact.
I figured thr Sheriff was just a little edgy
about that old gunnie
tailing him night and day.
Well, why don't you tail him, Steel.
I want to know everyone he
talks to and everywhere he goes.
And Tucker, follow the judge the same way.
(tense orchestral music)
Steel!
What are you tailing me for?
Well Sheriff, Mayor Lundy
ordered me to follow you, and--
Figured the old man couldn't get me.
Hired you to do the killing, huh?
Now wait just one minute.
If I wait any longer, I'll be dead.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
Two deputies down and two to go.
(tense music)
Tucker, are you following me?
I'm just keeping an eye on you, Judge.
You don't need to.
I've been keeping on eye on His Honor.
And I've been keeping an on you, mister.
Well, both of you can just get.
My orders to trail the Judge come right
from the Mayor himself.
Lundy put you on me?
That's funny, the Mayor
gave me the same job.
You know, this is a mighty confusing town.
You can't tell who's out to get who.
Lundy wouldn't hire an
old hammerhead like you.
Not when he's got us.
Gentlemen, maybe I can outshoot you.
I got 100 hard dollars that says I can.
Now you wanna ante up or pass the buck?
I ain't got $100.
Me neither, but I'd sure
like to get yours, mister.
Well, just throw yourselves in the pot.
I'll put up the hundred
and if you lose you both
just get out of town.
Good.
Let me at that hundred.
Now hold on, what's the contest?
Wing shooting for distance
and accuracy in the dark.
Wing shooting?
(George): Yeah.
For what?
See that flock of geese coming over?
I'm gonna get that bull goose.
You boys just pick
yourselves one out of the flock.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
Ha ha, I guess you boys got
what they call a touch of night blindness.
Maybe we ought to try something easier
like three cushion or ricochet shooting.
Yeah, we'll try it.
Come on, then.
Now, you see that light in
Cassie's saloon over there?
I'm gonna shoot through
the door, shoot that light out.
That bullet's going to bounce
against that potbellied stove,
ricochet across the street,
hit that antelope in front
of the pikesmith's shop,
ricochet across the street again,
hit that cowbell over that store,
come back towards me,
and I'm going to catch
that lead slug with my teeth.
Ain't a man alive that good.
(laughing)
(gun firing)
(metal clanging)
(bell ringing)
You know, I was a
mite bit off on that shot.
If I hadn't caught that
bullet with my teeth,
it might have passed by
me and hit one of you boys
right between the eyes.
Now, you want to try your hands
or you just want to get
on your horses and ride?
We'll uh, we'll be riding.
You boys ought to find good work back east.
Of course, there ain't no
calls for any real shooting.
(laughs)
It ain't safe here no more.
All my deputies are either
dead or they left town!
I ain't got no back up!
You shot one of them yourself.
Well, I figured, somebody said that...
You figured?
Somebody said!
What is the matter with you, Clyde, anyway?
You just falling apart or something, Clyde?
You falling apart?
Is this job gotten to
be too big for you, hm?
Or maybe you'd just as soon not be
part of my new administration
after I get reelected, huh?
(dramatic music)
My price has come down, Your Honor.
It's $50 now.
Well, I'll take it.
It'll pay the stage fare to Mexico.
For good and valuable
consideration here paid over,
I do hereby hand you
the right and title honor
and almaments of my office.
And what the Almighty has
joined up, let no man monkey with.
(tense orchestral music)
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Ho!
Hey, hey!
Right on schedule,
two days before election.
But Lundy's still here.
I reckon it's time to
pay him a little visit.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, come in.
Come in, come in.
We're a little crowded in here,
but I'm sure we can
squeeze you in. (laughing)
What's your pleasure?
We're here to see you out of town.
Oh dear, I thought we had
settled all that foolishness.
You're through, Lundy.
The judge and the sheriff
just took off on the last stage.
Oh?
Well, small loss.
Matter of fact, it'll allow me to dispense
some patronage after
I'm elected, eh? (chuckles)
New blood.
Matter of fact, I must thank you
for helping me to clean house.
Why without your tinhorn
judge and your gun-happy sheriff,
people will begin to get the feel
of what it's like to be free.
Yeah, maybe the people will vote you out.
I believe that people will
vote the way I recommend.
Mm-mm, you can't scare
them into voting for you.
Your gunmen have left town.
You just ain't got no protection.
That is where you're wrong.
You know, I was puzzled at first.
But then it suddenly occurred to me
what you gentlemen were up to.
So I imported an entirely
new staff of associates.
Now I believe I must ask you
to get out of town, now, by high noon!
It's a bluff.
Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you.
(tense music)
These men happen to be the
deadliest guns in the West today.
Big Red Connors, Little Billy Ford,
the Martin brothers,
Frank Mace,
Lafe Jordan.
(laughs)
(dramatic music)
(tense music)
Papa, you have got to give up.
It's no use.
Honey, we almost had Lundy whipped.
This time we'll do it.
Please Papa, he said be
out of town by high noon.
It's almost that time now.
Things are a lot worse than they were
when we started, Captain.
Jeff, we can't back down now.
We won the support and the
respect of all the townspeople.
And they're ready to vote for you.
You really believe your
handful of old Rangers
can make a stand against
that gang of lawless cutthroats?
My men are setting up
our first line of defense now.
This town will long remember the gunfight
at Cassie's corral.
(tense music)
Sun's about dead center.
Be careful of that mirror, boys.
I had it shipped all the way from New York
in the good old days.
Don't you worry, Miss Cassie.
If we bust it, we'll get you
a bigger and better one
from that fancy mail order
house called Monky Ward's.
(hammer thudding)
Hand me that war cap.
Now give me some of that slack.
Miss Black, we certainly
appreciate your help
and the use of your establishment.
I'm only afraid it's going
to suffer considerably.
Can't suffer anymore than
it's already been suffering.
Well, I think you better be on your way
over to the General Store.
Oh, good luck, Captain.
Thank you.
(horse whinnying)
High noon!
They've had their chance.
Now let's run them out.
(men shouting)
(upbeat harmonica music)
They're holed up in there.
Apparently they didn't take
my warning seriously, huh?
I didn't think they'd be
foolish enough to fight.
Well, this won't take long.
Two or three of you, break in there.
Tell them to get on their horses and ride.
(door thudding)
We're in this room!
(fabric rustling)
(guns firing)
(glass shattering)
(guns firing)
(horses whinnying)
They split it up, get outside!
(wood thudding)
Ah, get something heavy to ram it!
Wait a minute, use the piano.
(bullet splashing)
(grunting)
(gun clicking)
He hit you?
No, just got me between draws.
Get down in the street.
Flush them out.
All right, ram it.
(screaming)
(explosion roaring)
Sounds like they've got an army!
Let's get out of here!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(upbeat music)
They're heading for the Helldorado.
Stay out of here now.
I don't want my place shot up.
Too bad.
You've got the best hole up town.
Now get in there.
Scatter, scatter!
(woman screaming)
I'll take the balcony
and get them from above.
You 'em slow up down here.
Freeze or I'll let you have it!
(glass shattering)
(gun firing)
(wood clattering)
(grunting)
(glass clattering)
(tense music)
Here's another.
I guess--
Stop!
(hooves clopping)
There goes that tinhorn
that hired us without pay.
(dog barking)
Just let us get our horses.
Maybe we can catch
him before he gets too far.
No warrants for you here.
You can go.
But we don't want you back.
Don't worry.
Robbing banks and jumping
claims is faster, easier,
and it pays a whole lot better.
(cheering)
(applauding)
And so, my friends, thanks to the courage
of Captain Hayes and
his valiant Texas Rangers
this town can now look
forward to the start of a new era.
As your duly elected
mayor, I promise a new day
that will last a long, long time.
Honest lawmen, true justice in our court.
We may never be a big
town, but we'll be peaceable,
quiet, and happy.
Raising our children in an atmosphere
free of gambling, vice, and corruption.
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
And to completely erase
our soiled and tarnished past,
we'll even change the
names on a lot of things.
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
(crowd laughing)
Well, I reckon it's
time for us to be riding.
You want me to help you up
on that horse, you old droophorn?
Any of you fellows come
up wanted for hanging,
I'll be glad to try your case.
I'm a $50 judge now, you know.
(laughing)
I'm proud of you boys.
Best outfit a man ever headed up.
That goes for me, too.
I hope you all come back real soon.
Next time, I'll do my spider dance for you.
(laughing)
I sure would like to be here,
Miss Cassie, that next time.
(somber music)
Captain, if you need us,
if it ain't too long, that is.
Attention!
(horse whinnying)
(gentle orchestral music)
Well, this is where I take
the south fork for Abilene.
And if I head east I'll be in
the territory of Oklahoma.
I reckon if I split the
difference between you,
I ought to come out
somewhere near Kansas City.
Say, you know them two young fellas
I said I've been training down in Texas?
(George): Yeah.
They're only seven and eight-year-old.
They're my grandsons.
What what you train them
for, to be heartbroke?
Well, I reckon there's a few things
I can still teach them.
Like not making some of
the fool mistakes I done.
That's always the way it is.
When a man starts handing out good advice,
he ain't up to set no more bad examples.
Well now, I ain't heard of you
winning no big battles in Oklahoma.
Well, I started a bunch of them
at every saloon down there.
I just wasn't there at the finish.
You know Sergeant, it must
be nice to have your own home
and your family and watch
your grandkids grow up.
I sort of got a family in Kansas City.
These old timers in this old folks home.
We could put you up in Abilene, George.
We got many places for you to bed down.
That is, if--
No, thank you, Sergeant.
I'll just go back to Oklahoma
and find myself a new saloon.
You know something?
Since I've been up here
I've got my old knack back
with the cards again.
I just might get myself a lucky
streak a-going down there.
(laughing)
I reckon I got enough to
tell the folks back home
to last out the rest of my time.
(laughs) You know, I've been accused
of telling tall tales before,
but just wait until they
hear this one. (laughs)
Well, I guess we'd better be riding out.
So long and good luck, fellers.
Well, so long, Rangers.
We'll get together again real soon.
Well, say, so long.
So long.
(peaceful orchestral music)