The Rachel Papers (1989) Movie Script
The best
first impressions
are the ones
that are misleading.
I mean, you can be
whoever you want
and whoever they
want you to be.
Gloria, for example,
the one with the bubblegum,
she didn't need much in
the way of preparation.
A couple of music mags
thrown about,
the odd shelf
full of stuffed toys.
After all, she had
no fixed impressions of me,
so why bother going
beyond surface detail?
Because that's the trouble
with first impressions.
You always have
to keep them up.
You can never be over prepared.
That's my motto.
I mean, one minute, you're
in with a chance with one,
and then the next, you go
and say the wrong thing,
and it's all over.
It's a whole different
ballgame up here.
Girls, that is.
I mean,
back where I come from,
any experience with something
with only two feet was
considered a plus.
But down here in London,
it's all about something else.
Getting a girl can be like...
Well, waging
a full-scale campaign.
Sometimes at night,
I lie out on the roof naked
and talk to the stars.
And you know what?
You're a Virgo, right?
Gemini.
It's not that.
I mean, I really like you.
I can sort of will myself
out of my body
and float across the room.
Taurus.
I don't think
I know you well enough.
Leo?
It's not that I'm complaining,
mind you.
It's just that, well...
Something quite serious
has just happened to me.
Hey, how do you know
she's even gonna be here?
I overheard her.
She was talking
to this blonde girl.
Very attractive.
Single, too.
Uh-oh.
The riffraff's out tonight.
How's it goin', Avi? I'm all right.
Listen, guys,
private party tonight.
Some posh do,
you know what I mean?
What did you say?
You're leaving me?
Baby, please,
don't even think about it.
Don't even try
to think about it.
You just can't do it.
Okay.
Why don't you
go get yourself
a drink of water?
Come back, relax.
And let me tell you
what'll happen
if you ever leave me.
Well, there she is.
Now, accents are
very important.
They can say a lot
about a person,
especially yourself.
I think I'll opt
for something upmarket.
Hello.
Hi.
An American.
Well, we can drop
the accent bit.
I notice that
you don't have a drink.
Are you giving this party? Certainly not.
Parties of this kind
are not given.
They're received.
"Man comes
and drinks the wine,
lies beneath,
"and after many a summer
dies the swan."
Tennyson said that.
Look, how about that drink? No, thanks. I've got one.
No, I meant
maybe somewhere else.
I mean,
look at all these people.
I mean, obviously,
most of them are gatecrashers.
I mean, who's giving
this party anyway?
I am, actually,
and I don't remember
inviting you.
Well, the name's Highway.
Charles Highway.
Yep.
You're well away there,
Charles. Well away.
That's Rachel Noyce.
No way! Yes, thanks, Geoff.
No way!
I really don't know
why you bother.
Why don't you just
give Gloria a call?
No, I've done
that teenage thing. Oh, here we go.
You spend 15 to 20 minutes
trying not to come,
and then when you do,
you have to give...
A pretty
credible performance.
She went back
to her boyfriend.
That's not the point.
Anyway, there's an education
in a girl like Rachel.
I look at Rachel,
and I think mystery,
the promise of something more.
That's all. Just more.
Hi. Hi.
Dad's been calling again.
He wants us to go back home
for that bloody anniversary
dinner they're giving.
Can't we fob him off?
We can try.
What,
all of us together? Oh, no.
It's every man for himself
in this situation. Hmm. Thanks.
What's that noise? Norman.
I didn't mean
cut it down now.
All right?
Norman.
Norman, when I said now...
Jenny, my sister,
and Norman, my brother-in-law.
The Tauber Academy
caters for students
of all ages,
ranging from toddlers,
most of whom are
obviously insane,
to the Oxford scholarship
candidate.
So you'll be
wanting to try for Oxford?
Yes, that's right.
Then, uh, you'll be wanting
to take the examinations
in, uh, November.
Yes.
I see.
Then you'll be wanting
to enroll straightaway.
Correct. Yes.
A-level passes.
English, grade A.
Biology, grade A.
Logic, grade A.
Curious subjects.
Mind you, I don't think
we'll have much trouble
fitting you in.
A bit old for Cambridge,
aren't you?
Phone call for you downstairs,
Mrs. Tauber.
Well, have them
put it through up here.
It's on the pay phone.
He said it was urgent.
Good old Geoff.
Now, I'm surprisingly
ineffective on the telephone,
so I find that there are
four basic requirements I need
on making the first call.
Number one, visual stimulants.
Number two, other stimulants.
Number three, mood music.
And, most importantly,
number four,
a tight and effective
shooting script.
Hello? Hello. Good morning.
Can I speak to Rachel Noyce,
please? Yeah?
Ah. Um, hello, Rachel.
It's Charles Highway.
Uh, you may remember me.
We met at the party
you very kindly gave
last week.
I remember. Good.
Well, um,
I was just ringing,
um, actually, to, uh, find out
what are you up to?
I'm late for work right now,
and I can't talk. Bye.
And requirement number five,
never, ever give up.
Hello?
Um, where's that, then?
Sorry? Where is it you work?
At a nursery school.
Oh, well, like, uh,
little kids, you mean?
That's the preferable
age group, yes.
And what's that called?
It's called
The Tauber Academy.
Oh, I don't believe it.
What a fantastic coincidence.
How's that? Well, I'm going there.
Where? The Tauber Academy,
cramming for Oxford.
You're
going to Oxford?
You needn't sound so shocked.
So, look,
what with tomorrow being
my first day and everything,
um, maybe later
we could meet for a drink.
No, thanks.
Look, I'm really late.
Well, what about tea tomorrow,
after classes end?
Look, think of it as
making up for the other night.
Well... Great. I'll see you
at 4:00 then. Bye.
Take care of them,
for God's sake, will ya?
All right? You see
where you're going?
Just put it down there.
The door... The door
on your right. The black door.
What is it exactly
that Norman does?
Now, on approaching
the first date,
two things are very important.
One, presentation.
Not half bad,
I don't mind telling you.
And two, personality.
You know, it's
a hundred-to-one chance
I'll even get her
into the house,
let alone the bedroom.
But still, you never know.
So, a few half-finished poems
scattered around
to show sensitivity, talent.
Some highbrow
reading material.
Shows my more serious side.
But we'll remove these,
however,
since they're as good as
having a large poster in
your bedroom which says,
"Well, the big thing about me
is I wank a hell of a lot."
Hi, there.
Great lover, and you?
Sent out of the classroom
again, Bright?
Hello.
Hey, Rachel.
I was in the neighborhood,
so I thought I might drop by.
Hi.Hello.
Deforest,
this is Charles Byway.
Highway, please. Sorry.
Deforest Honiger.
You're the gatecrasher, right?
Uh, amongst other things,
I suppose so, yes.
It's good to see you. And you.
I like this jacket a lot.
It's very nice.
Hmm, thank you very much.
Go straight through. Yes.
Thank you.
Ah, here they are.
What did you order?
Chicken flambe.
How are you?
Good to see you.
The meringue is
freshly made.
Sir, thank you very much, sir.
Charles, what are you doing?
Oh, just getting
a breath of fresh air.
Well... Well, come on back.
I'm not going back in there.
Are you all right?
Yeah, sure. I'm fine.
Okay.
Well, look,
I should go back.
Uh-huh. Okay.
I had a friend
who once used to try
hypnotizing girls into bed.
Well, you should
have bleeding asked me,
shouldn't ya?
Asked you?
It's not as though
you weren't there!
Oh, bollocks!
Is that you, Charles?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, well,
come on in the lounge.
My parents
usually refer to Norman
as "the bastard."
This generally means
someone who has stopped
worshiping his wife.
Norman wasn't, however,
what's known as a real bastard
for the simple reason
he makes money.
Real bastards are
penniless bastards.
It fell off the back
of the lorry.
Now, normally retails
at 30 quid a barrel,
this stuff 10 quid.
Oh, yeah.
You know, a bloke I know,
he drank four pints
of this stuff,
fell out
of his bedroom window.
Got his head impaled
on the railings.
Christ.
Yeah, well, I feel like
getting pissed anyway.
Why?
You know, I met this girl.
So?
Well, you know...
A little bit scary.
You, uh...
Have you done it yet?
Oh, God, look at you.
Is it any wonder?
I mean, she does do it,
does she?
How old is she?
She's not your type, Norman.
You have been out with her?
Lord.
Listen, you put yourself
in her place, all right?
All right?
Say you're her
and she's you.
Now, this girl keeps
ringing you up, right?
But you got plenty
of other girls on the go,
so you play it easy, right?
Hmm. Now, what would she have to
say to get you interested?
So that you'd drop
all the others and pull her?
I mean, if she wanted to
get you goin', she wouldn't
say, "Oh, Charles, fuck me."
She'd say, "Oh, Charles,
fuck you. Fuck off."
Just to get you going, right?
What are you saying,
that I phone up Rachel
and then tell her to fuck off?
Oh, gee, leave it, huh?
I see you wankers,
tripping over your cocks,
falling over backwards.
Makes me sick.
They don't like it either.
You wanna know my secret?
Norman's law?
Be flash.
Act like you couldn't
give a fuck. She'll be
begging for it.
Rachel.
Chris, where have you been?
I went for a slash,
and the bog's flooded.
Charming. Hi. Hi.
I'm sorry
about the other day.
That's okay. No problem.
Deforest does
things like that.
He just shows up.
Ah, it's nothing. Anyway,
I'm allergic to velvet
and crowded rooms.
They make me nervous.
What, you, nervous?
Well, even the best of us
have our occasional
weak points.
I, on the other hand,
tend to make up for it
with wit, charm
and the ability to forge
my brother-in-law's signature
on his credit card.
So how about that drink?
I have to take Chris home.
After that.
Won't your brother-in-law
get mad?
The credit card's probably
not his, anyway.
Okay. Maybe a quick one.
Oh, no!
What? I've completely forgot.
I have to go to
a girlfriend's tea party.
I'd cancel, but it's
sort of in my honor.
How about tomorrow?
Say 6:00, Kensington Place.
Yeah?
Taxi!
I don't care
what anyone says.
Poetry, if you can bring
yourself to recite some,
never fails.
Like flowers,
they'll do anything.
You have to have
the hands of a surgeon
to perform this one.
I'll have
a kiwi Fogcutter for two,
please.
Telephone for you,
Charles.
Hello?
Charles, I'm really sorry,
but I can't make it.
What?
I didn't have your number,
so I couldn't
reach you at home.
Charles, are you there?
Uh, yeah.
Hey, it's no problem.
I've bumped into
some friends anyway,
so, you know,
it's no big deal.
Hey, Leanne, stop that,
will you, please? Sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Charles? Uh, yeah.
Hey, have you been
to the Hay's Galleries?
What? The Hay's Galleries.
I just happen to have
some tickets there
for an exhibition
this, um, Sunday.
I thought
you might like to...
Well, you know.
Look, Charles,
I'd like to.
It's just that things are
a bit difficult for me
at the moment, you know?
Yeah, sure.
Bye, then. Yeah, bye. Hey, wait!
Let me give you my number.
The Hay's Gallery?
Look, girls don't want
to be overawed.
They want to have fun,
a good time.
A good time? Yeah, like you.
So, act naturally.
Well, that's crap.
Who's ever got time to act
naturally with a girl?
It's very transparent,
Charles.
Do you recognize this place?
This is where Charles Highway
first got rejected.
And once again here.
And once again here.
Now, can you see it?
There's a definite pattern
being set, isn't there?
But why?
Could there be anyone
more lovable?
Or sexy?
Or mysterious?
I don't think so.
And how does Charles
suffer this rejection?
He's not looking well,
but he's keeping up
a brave front.
If you ask me,
pretty soon, he's gonna be
turning up at Khyber.
Norman! Well.
Really.
He left a very large tip.
We have the most
electrifying classes.
The boy's a genius.
Surely with these kind of
references, there must be
some hope.
But we'll have
to wait and see.
The Hay's, 3:00, Sunday.
Needless to say,
I went to the gallery
the day before
to be fully prepared.
I mapped out
an approximate route,
noted points
of general interest
and I had a thorough look
through all the paintings.
Especially the ones
that I thought might provoke
the right kind of mood.
My father left when
we were living in Paris.
When was that? Nine years ago. I was 10.
Ten? So, you're
the same age as me?
Don't sound so shocked.
Oh, no. It's just I thought
you were older, that's all.
Charmingly older.
Do go on. You were at the bit
where you father pushed off.
Cruelly left you, right? Yeah.
Well, I moved here
with my mom.
She got married again. Yeah?
What about your dad?
My dad's an artist.
Um, he lives in New York
with his new girlfriend.
He's still trying to be
the parent, you know?
He asked me
if I was on the pill.
Really? Does he worry
about that sort of thing?
He doesn't even like me
being at Tauber's.
Why?
Well...
I'm not gonna stay there
much longer anyway.
There's this modeling agency
in New York.
Modeling? What?
Only seems to be
a profession that specializes
in illiterates, that's all.
Well, maybe that was
a bit harsh.
Maybe I'm just trying
to put you off. Why?
It just doesn't
seem like you, that's all.
There. See?
It's true. You see?
You great huge yob,
it's true!
What the fuck's it
doing in there?
Because you're
a great, fat animal,
and I knew you'd
tear it up, that's why!
You murderer!
Jennifer, go to bed, now!
You go to bed,
you bastard!
Oh, fuck!
Charles!
Charles.Uh, yeah?
You been messing about
with my record collection?
Well, I've been putting
the records back
in the right sleeves,
if that's what you mean. Don't, all right?
It's confusing. Okay.
Ow!
So, fancy a game of cards?
Do you want
some of this stuff? No.
I've lost my appetite.
I remember reading that
the soul recoils from food
at such a moment as this,
but what can you do?
Will you stop loafing about
for a start? I beg your pardon?
Did you make your move yet? Well, you can't just
go charging in.
It's all about timing.
Timing, at this moment,
is of the utmost importance.
If you're off by even one day,
then the whole thing can get
screwed up.
Oh, well, excuse me.
What are you waiting for,
a telegram?
Just get in there.
Listen, now let me
tell you something.
Rachel's not some meaningless,
casual sex situation.
No. She's way
out of that league.
Anyway, I'm not quite sure
how she sees me.
I think she thinks
I'm just a bit of a laugh.
Obvious what your next
step's got to be, isn't it?
What's that?
You've got to do
something, uh,
something sexy.
Like what?
I know just the thing.
So you're naturists?
Thanks for coming over
and telling me.
Naturists? What in heaven's
name does she mean?
It looks rather fun.
What pretty girls.
I wish I could join in.
Oh, good.
That one's for me.
Thank you, yes,
I'd love to come over.
It was strange,
but I didn't feel
a bit embarrassed.
I suppose it was because
the others were so natural.
I'm going to kill Norman.
This is kind of funny.
Hmm. This is the life!
How free one feels.
Well, I... I thought
it went across rather well.
You know,
soul before aesthetics.
Content before style,
love before sex.
Though I think, in some cases,
that sex is a possible
consideration before love.
Sorry, uh,
Charles. Dad.
What are you
doing up in town?
I'm here for a meeting.
Business, you know.
Um, we had to come up.
Oh, you're with Mom.
No. Unfortunately,
your... Your mother
couldn't make it.
Thank you, dear.
Yes, this is Ms. Reynolds,
from our office.
This is Charles.
He's my son.
And, um... Uh, Rachel.
Rachel Noyce. Hi.
My dad and Miss... Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Vanessa, yes.
I would have rang you
and Jenny, uh,
but we've had
a very heavy workload,
Charles, very heavy.
Oh, that's okay.
I had no idea you were
an art lover, Dad.
Oh. Oh, yes, it's been a...
It's been a secret passion
of mine for years.
I would like to be here
more often, but there you go.
One of life's
cruel tragedies.
I'll call you later.
It's just that... Well...
I think about you
a hell of a lot, that's all.
A few days later,
I bumped into Rachel,
totally unprepared.
No pad, no pencil.
I was forced to improvise.
Well, not half bad.
An invitation to dinner
at the mum's.
So what do you think?
A bit boring, right?
Well, that's okay.
Because if there's
one thing that mothers
don't want to see in you
is whatever it is
that their daughters do.
Good evening.
Hello.Oh, hi.
Come on. Oh, sure.
By the way, we never
mention my father, okay?
Oh, sure. No sweat.
Don't worry. I'm really good
at these sort of things.
Hello. I'm... I'm sorry.
I've completely forgotten
your name.
Charles. Charles, that's right.
We... We haven't seen you
since your disappearing act
that day.
Rachel said you had
some family problems
or something.
I'm sorry? That day at tea, you know?
Blink, you're there.
Blink again, you're not.
Uh, yes. Family problems.
That's right.
Well, I hope
everything's okay.
Rachel says you're thinking
about going to Oxford.
Mmm. Thinking about it, yes. Which college?
I haven't decided yet.
Well, you never know.
Maybe we'll end up
at the same one.
Yes, maybe we will.
Right, maybe.
Good to see you again.
Yes, and you.
Excuse me.
Four days ago,
she showed up in a car.
Do we have to?
Mmm? Mmm.
...bouncing around
in the States.
Yeah, but didn't you think...
I can't believe
you liked that.
I thought it was...
I thought it was very, very...
It was
really garish and loud.
Just bouncing around.
It was just confusing.
What are you doing?
Look, what's
the story here?
What are you
talking about?
I mean, it's a setup, right?
Instead of this time,
it's not just Deforest.
This time, your whole
bloody family are in on it.
No, it's not like that at all.
Rachel.
Rachel.
Rachel?
Rachel.
No. Wait, wait, wait.
Don't go just yet.
And don't tell me
it's gonna be difficult. It is.
What are you doing
this weekend?
Why?
Well, it's my parents'
wedding anniversary.
We could spend
the weekend down there.
It won't be that awful.
No, it might be, actually.
A wedding anniversary?
We could be talking
about one of the major
social events of the decade.
Needless to say,
I made detailed plans
for the weekend,
starting with
an intimate train ride
down to the country.
If I get the coin in the cup,
I'll be in bed
with Rachel by
midnight.
Boy!
The bonds of love
and loyalty.
It's real,
it's a true pleasure
to be able to still
celebrate those good,
old-fashioned values
at a time when it seems
that most people
have forgotten them.
To Gordon and Charlotte.
The next 25 years.
ALL: Gordon and Charlotte.
Bit much
your father bringing his tart,
though, isn't it?
Hmm.
You know about that, do you?
Who doesn't?
Here you go. Cheers.
So, that's the famous
Rachel, is it?
Yeah.
Not bad. Cheers.
More sherry, Sir Herbert?
Or maybe something stronger?
Why not? Mmm-hmm.
Tell me, who is
that tall fellow?
Oh, you mean Norman.
Yes, well, that,
would you believe,
is my son-in-law.
Really? Mmm.
I only bring him out
on special occasions.
He's not really house-trained.
I saw Johnny Valentine
when he was...
Because the war cut
my activities short,
pretty much.
I was evacuated.
Mmm.
Very nice drop.
Very nice drop indeed.
Yeah.
Got the good stuff tonight,
eh?
Ah. That must be
an important night, eh? Yeah.
Usually we only get
the piss and vinegar stuff
down here.
Piss and vinegar.
Not very nice.
Ah, it's a very nice drop,
Mum, very nice indeed, yeah.
Mmm. Lovely, Mom.
Tosser.
Does it bother you?
What?
Your father
and what's her name,
Vanessa.
Uh, well, a bit, yeah.
You know, I kind of thought
it wouldn't,
you know, before,
but he seems to be
having such a good time.
You know,
he never looked better.
But then, look at my mom.
She wanders around the garden
in her pullover and Wellies
looking like a slightly
effeminate farm hand.
Could I ask you a question?
Depends.
Have you slept
with Deforest?
Well, come on, have you?
It's my right to know.
I demand to know.
Hello. Hello.
Deforest?
Deforest?
Look, are you all right?
Can I get you something?
I'd like to have
a word with you.
So what happened?
Rachel,
what did he say?
How did he know
you were here?
My mother must have
told him.
Oh, great!
Look, I better go back
to London with him.
You can't.
I have to.
But you said you'd stay here
for the weekend.
You can't just cave in
to him like that.
I'm not.
Well, I know
what's gonna happen.
You'll walk out of here
in a moment.
I'm never gonna
see you again.
So begins a stage
in my descent into manhood.
A period that I would call
my all-time low.
Listen, kid.
It must have been
tough for you, too.
Come on.
Drop your cock,
grab your socks.
Somebody upstairs
I want you to meet.
A fucking mess in here. What?
Come on. Don't be
a wanker all your life.
Now, remember,
keyword for you is flash.
Come on! Come on!
Look who I bumped into.
Yeah, I was down the road
getting a few provisions,
then there she was,
on her way home.
Said she should come back
for a cup of tea, didn't I?
Hi.
Hi.
Here, look.
Bugger all this tea.
Why don't we all go out, eh?
Out? Yeah, out.
You remember out.
Come on. Upstairs.
Get some tights on.
I haven't seen you
at school much.
No, well, the exams.
I've been studying.
I was busy.
Sorry about Norman
dragging you back down here
and everything. I didn't...
That's okay.
I was gonna call you anyway.
Yeah? What for?
Uh, listen,
I've just remembered
I've got something
on downstairs.
I won't be a sec.
Do you want a drink
or something?
Sure. Yeah?
I've been
reading, um,
well, a lot of metaphysical
poets recently.
But there's this one
Elizabethan love couplet, um,
"Love seeketh only
self to please,
"To bind another
to its delight,
"Joys in another's
loss of ease,
"Builds a Heaven
in Hell's..."
No, um...
"Builds a Hell
in Heaven's..."
"Despite."
Pardon? "And builds a Hell
in Heaven's despite."
Then it goes,
"Love seeketh not
itself to please
"To bind another
to its delight,
"Joy in another's
loss of ease,
"And builds a Heaven
in Hell's despite."
How did you know that?
Blake's one
of my favorite poets.
I'm glad you're here.
So, um, how's Deforest?
He's okay.
Really?
No, not really.
I thought I may as well
make one of you happy.
What, me?
If you still want me.
Two times two is four.
Three times two is six.
Four times two is...
Four times two is... Is...
Is eight!
Yes, it is.
Oh, thank you, God.
Income tax returns.
Ladies with
handlebar mustaches.
Football in the rain.
Norman in Wellies.
Two thirteens are 26.
Three thirteens are... Ah!
The fingernails in my back!
Give me strength!
Charles? Mmm?
There's something
I have to tell you.
Mmm-hmm.
I have to go away
with my mother.
What? Why?
I promised her.
Well, it's out
of the question.
Can't your mother
go on her own? Oh, I have to.
You can't.
We've only just...
Well, you know.
Hmm. You can't.
Well, why don't I
phone her up?
You know, and say,
"To hell with it.
"You're a big girl now,
and you just wanna
come stay with me."
No. She doesn't like you.
Hmm.
What about Deforest?
What about him?
Why don't we say
that he's taking you away?
My mother already knows
we split up.
Then it's perfect.
It could be
your get-back-together
holiday.
Think of how happy
it'll make her.
And so we planned
and lied and lied and planned.
A date was set.
Somewhat dramatically,
it fell on both
Rachel's birthday
and the day of my exams.
A double celebration.
A new chapter in my life
was about to open.
Living with someone.
The fusing
of two personalities into one.
The shredding
of all defenses.
Laying oneself
completely naked
in front of someone else
and saying,
"Here I am at my worst.
"Now, love me."
Just to remind you,
you have three hours
to complete this paper.
You may begin now.
Yeah!
Happy birthday, Rachel.
Happy birthday.Happy birthday.
Guess what? What?
I've got my older woman.
I learned
the pleasures of cleanliness,
taking three
or four baths a day.
It was days
of frantic avowals
and wordy, mutual praise.
We were beautiful
and brilliant.
Our children would undoubtedly
be beautiful and brilliant.
Our bodies functioned
only in orgasm.
To Rachel,
sex was Disneyland,
and I was the ride.
I can never get
these damn things on.
Well, it helps if you
don't undo it first.
Oh. Oh, I see.
All right?
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay.
No, I was just
gonna take a bath.
I'll wait.
Charles, come in.
Guess what.
What?
Jenny's gonna have a baby.
Of course.
That's what all
the shouting's been about.
Isn't it great?
Yes, I suppose so.
I wonder what made
Norman change his mind.
He probably decided
it's the right time.
Too logical.
Guilt, more likely.
In six months,
I'm gonna be an uncle.
She said
it was the right time.
Yeah.
What, for her
to have a baby?
No, that's not
what she meant.
It's not what she said,
it's more the way
she said it. And how was that?
Well, you know.
Real loaded.
Girls love babies,
that's all.
Doesn't mean anything.
I mean, have you seen
what happens
when you put a baby
in a roomful of women?
It's frightening.
She had her period.
Well, girls tend to.
Yeah, but it was in bed.
I woke up,
and it was like that scene
from The Godfather.
You know, the one
with the horse's head.
I don't know what
you're complaining about.
It's a small price to pay
for great sex.
Okay, so you're
probably all thinking
that this is where I start
coming off all unsympathetic,
right?
But I can't help it.
I mean, there's nothing
like a piece of good news
in somebody else's life
to put your own
into perspective.
Right?
Um...
Charles?
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just gonna
have a bath.
Well, let me in.
Yeah, I'll be out
in a minute.
And so it seems
all things come to an end.
Rachel's mum has decided
to return a few days early...
I'll call you later.
Coinciding with
the less-surprising news
that I'd passed my exams.
An interview
with the college don
had been scheduled
for the very next day.
I'd better prepare
for my interview tonight.
Okay.
Bye.
Oh.
Shoes.
You left them under the bed.
Bye.Bye.
Hello.
Haven't seen you
for a long time.
I know.
I was just
in the neighborhood,
so I thought...
No, it's good to see you.
You want to come in?
Anyway, by the end,
I was getting so bored
with this jealousy thing,
I just said to myself,
"Enough's enough."
So what did you do?
So I told him,
"It's finished."
What did he say?
He didn't.
He just hit me.
Another one of Norman's
bloody deliveries.
What?
Don't even ask.
Oh, yeah, uh,
I won't be a second, okay?
Rachel! My mother found out
about us staying here.
Rachel, no. How?
I don't know.
Anyway, it all came out.
Shit!
I could've
lied to her, but I figured,
why should I?
You better have a drink.
Now, I don't have to lie
about anything, even you. Right.
What's going on?I'm just trying
to find a bottle
that doesn't have Norman's
lip marks all over it.
No, I mean your back.
Uh... Oh, no.
Oh, I was just
about to have a bath.
I slipped. It's nothing.
Let's go downstairs.
What about the drinks? Bring them with you.
Right.
What happened here?
Huh? Oh, Geoff came around
with his new girlfriend
earlier.
Left the place
in a bit of a state.
Nice girl, though.
You would've liked her.
Here, let me help.
You smell strange.
Really?
It's sex.
What? You smell of sex.
It exudes from every pore.
You're not gonna
believe this.
There doesn't seem
to be any left.
Yeah, there is.
I saw them this morning.
Uh, are you sure?
I'm positive.
Oh, yes. Here it is.
Must have slipped out.
Charles,
you've got bubble gum
at the end of your...
It's already been used.
Uh, yeah.
I thought you said
you found a new one.
Yeah, I lied.
Why?
Uh...
What's wrong?
Look, um...
There's something I need
to talk to you about.
Your back.
You didn't fall on the floor,
did you?
Did you? Rachel.
Did you?
No.
Rachel... Just fuck off!
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just that
I have been feeling
a bit strange recently.
So you had to go
and fuck someone else?
It's not about that.
It's not about that.
It's...
Well...
Well, it's about us
and, um, well, what's been
happening to us.
And what's that?
I don't know
how to say this
without sounding like a...
Well...
You know,
these last two weeks,
they've been
very special to me,
and, uh...
Well, I wouldn't
want to change them
for the world,
you know,
but I wish
I could stop changing,
but I can't.
I've tried,
and I can't, and I...
Just cut it out.
Tell me what you mean,
but spare the bullshit.
What are you
talking about?
All this stuff you think
makes you look so smart.
I thought you knew
you could just cut it out.
You're not the only one
who can do it.
All those stories
about my father
leaving us in Paris,
going with a mistress,
it's bullshit.
I don't even know
who my father is.
Come in.
Hi. Hi.
Sit.
Uh... Yes, thanks.
Mr. Highway.
Yeah.
Do you like literature?
What sort
of a question is that?
Oh, excuse me.
Only I've read your paper
a couple of times,
and I'm still
not quite sure.
For example,
in the literature paper,
you complain that
"Yeats and Eliot,
"in their later phases,
opted for the cold certainties
"that can only work
outside the messiness of life.
"They prudently repaired
to the artifice of eternity."
Etcetera, etcetera,
etcetera.
Yawn, yawn, yawn.
Again,
in the criticism paper,
you jeer at Lawrence's
"unreal sexual grandiosity,"
using yet another
author's arguments,
Middleton Murray this time,
from his Women In Love.
Then, in the very next line,
you scold his "over-facile
equation of art and life."
On Blake,
you seem quite happy
to paraphrase,
the "fearful symmetry stuff
"about autonomous
verbal constructs
"necessarily unconnected
with life."
Oh, God.
But in your essay paper,
you come on all excited
about "the urgency
"with which Blake educates
and refines our emotions,
"side stepping the props
and splints of artifice."
You ever tried
Side stepping a splint,
by the way?
Or educating someone urgently,
for that matter?
We won't be a minute.
Well, I won't go on.
Literature has a kind of life
of its own, you know.
You can't just use it
for your own ends.
Like to take a look at these?
See if you agree?
No.
I want you to do
a great deal of thinking
over the next few months,
to work out if you
really wanna come here.
Come here? Yeah, I'm gonna take you.
If I don't, you're only
going to get worse.
I'll look on you
as my special case,
but for Christ's sakes,
stop reading
all those critics.
Stop talking
all that bullshit.
Just say whether you like
what you read or not.
Work out what it is
you do like.
Come on.
Is Rachel home, please?
No, she's not.
When will she be back?
Who is it, Maria?
Uh, it's me,
Mrs. Seth-Smith.
Charles. Charles Highway.
I was looking
for Rachel, actually.
She's not here.
You just missed her.
Well, perhaps you could
give her these for me?
I'm not sure
the flowers will keep.
I'm sorry?
She's left for New York.
I don't know
when she'll be back.
Didn't she tell you?
She's on her way
to the airport now.
Excuse me. Could you
tell me which gate is
the flight to New York?
That one. Thank you very much.
Twenty years old.
Excuse me.
I ended up
going to Oxford,
Side stepping Dr. Knowd,
though,
and going
to a different college.
But some things
never seem to change.
You hope that they will,
but they never do.
Although, there can be
the odd surprising exception.
And Rachel?
I bumped into her
some time later,
at the Hay's,
of all places.
She was living full-time
in New York now,
though not with Deforest,
you'll be glad to hear.
We spent
the whole afternoon together,
laughing at some of the more
feeble etchings.
Later, as we were
about to leave,
we passed through
the main hall.
Standing there,
the light shining down,
I thought Rachel
had never looked lovelier.
It made me think
of that Blake quote.
You know the one,
about love being eternal.
And for a moment,
I thought
about saying it now.
The only trouble was
I couldn't remember it.
first impressions
are the ones
that are misleading.
I mean, you can be
whoever you want
and whoever they
want you to be.
Gloria, for example,
the one with the bubblegum,
she didn't need much in
the way of preparation.
A couple of music mags
thrown about,
the odd shelf
full of stuffed toys.
After all, she had
no fixed impressions of me,
so why bother going
beyond surface detail?
Because that's the trouble
with first impressions.
You always have
to keep them up.
You can never be over prepared.
That's my motto.
I mean, one minute, you're
in with a chance with one,
and then the next, you go
and say the wrong thing,
and it's all over.
It's a whole different
ballgame up here.
Girls, that is.
I mean,
back where I come from,
any experience with something
with only two feet was
considered a plus.
But down here in London,
it's all about something else.
Getting a girl can be like...
Well, waging
a full-scale campaign.
Sometimes at night,
I lie out on the roof naked
and talk to the stars.
And you know what?
You're a Virgo, right?
Gemini.
It's not that.
I mean, I really like you.
I can sort of will myself
out of my body
and float across the room.
Taurus.
I don't think
I know you well enough.
Leo?
It's not that I'm complaining,
mind you.
It's just that, well...
Something quite serious
has just happened to me.
Hey, how do you know
she's even gonna be here?
I overheard her.
She was talking
to this blonde girl.
Very attractive.
Single, too.
Uh-oh.
The riffraff's out tonight.
How's it goin', Avi? I'm all right.
Listen, guys,
private party tonight.
Some posh do,
you know what I mean?
What did you say?
You're leaving me?
Baby, please,
don't even think about it.
Don't even try
to think about it.
You just can't do it.
Okay.
Why don't you
go get yourself
a drink of water?
Come back, relax.
And let me tell you
what'll happen
if you ever leave me.
Well, there she is.
Now, accents are
very important.
They can say a lot
about a person,
especially yourself.
I think I'll opt
for something upmarket.
Hello.
Hi.
An American.
Well, we can drop
the accent bit.
I notice that
you don't have a drink.
Are you giving this party? Certainly not.
Parties of this kind
are not given.
They're received.
"Man comes
and drinks the wine,
lies beneath,
"and after many a summer
dies the swan."
Tennyson said that.
Look, how about that drink? No, thanks. I've got one.
No, I meant
maybe somewhere else.
I mean,
look at all these people.
I mean, obviously,
most of them are gatecrashers.
I mean, who's giving
this party anyway?
I am, actually,
and I don't remember
inviting you.
Well, the name's Highway.
Charles Highway.
Yep.
You're well away there,
Charles. Well away.
That's Rachel Noyce.
No way! Yes, thanks, Geoff.
No way!
I really don't know
why you bother.
Why don't you just
give Gloria a call?
No, I've done
that teenage thing. Oh, here we go.
You spend 15 to 20 minutes
trying not to come,
and then when you do,
you have to give...
A pretty
credible performance.
She went back
to her boyfriend.
That's not the point.
Anyway, there's an education
in a girl like Rachel.
I look at Rachel,
and I think mystery,
the promise of something more.
That's all. Just more.
Hi. Hi.
Dad's been calling again.
He wants us to go back home
for that bloody anniversary
dinner they're giving.
Can't we fob him off?
We can try.
What,
all of us together? Oh, no.
It's every man for himself
in this situation. Hmm. Thanks.
What's that noise? Norman.
I didn't mean
cut it down now.
All right?
Norman.
Norman, when I said now...
Jenny, my sister,
and Norman, my brother-in-law.
The Tauber Academy
caters for students
of all ages,
ranging from toddlers,
most of whom are
obviously insane,
to the Oxford scholarship
candidate.
So you'll be
wanting to try for Oxford?
Yes, that's right.
Then, uh, you'll be wanting
to take the examinations
in, uh, November.
Yes.
I see.
Then you'll be wanting
to enroll straightaway.
Correct. Yes.
A-level passes.
English, grade A.
Biology, grade A.
Logic, grade A.
Curious subjects.
Mind you, I don't think
we'll have much trouble
fitting you in.
A bit old for Cambridge,
aren't you?
Phone call for you downstairs,
Mrs. Tauber.
Well, have them
put it through up here.
It's on the pay phone.
He said it was urgent.
Good old Geoff.
Now, I'm surprisingly
ineffective on the telephone,
so I find that there are
four basic requirements I need
on making the first call.
Number one, visual stimulants.
Number two, other stimulants.
Number three, mood music.
And, most importantly,
number four,
a tight and effective
shooting script.
Hello? Hello. Good morning.
Can I speak to Rachel Noyce,
please? Yeah?
Ah. Um, hello, Rachel.
It's Charles Highway.
Uh, you may remember me.
We met at the party
you very kindly gave
last week.
I remember. Good.
Well, um,
I was just ringing,
um, actually, to, uh, find out
what are you up to?
I'm late for work right now,
and I can't talk. Bye.
And requirement number five,
never, ever give up.
Hello?
Um, where's that, then?
Sorry? Where is it you work?
At a nursery school.
Oh, well, like, uh,
little kids, you mean?
That's the preferable
age group, yes.
And what's that called?
It's called
The Tauber Academy.
Oh, I don't believe it.
What a fantastic coincidence.
How's that? Well, I'm going there.
Where? The Tauber Academy,
cramming for Oxford.
You're
going to Oxford?
You needn't sound so shocked.
So, look,
what with tomorrow being
my first day and everything,
um, maybe later
we could meet for a drink.
No, thanks.
Look, I'm really late.
Well, what about tea tomorrow,
after classes end?
Look, think of it as
making up for the other night.
Well... Great. I'll see you
at 4:00 then. Bye.
Take care of them,
for God's sake, will ya?
All right? You see
where you're going?
Just put it down there.
The door... The door
on your right. The black door.
What is it exactly
that Norman does?
Now, on approaching
the first date,
two things are very important.
One, presentation.
Not half bad,
I don't mind telling you.
And two, personality.
You know, it's
a hundred-to-one chance
I'll even get her
into the house,
let alone the bedroom.
But still, you never know.
So, a few half-finished poems
scattered around
to show sensitivity, talent.
Some highbrow
reading material.
Shows my more serious side.
But we'll remove these,
however,
since they're as good as
having a large poster in
your bedroom which says,
"Well, the big thing about me
is I wank a hell of a lot."
Hi, there.
Great lover, and you?
Sent out of the classroom
again, Bright?
Hello.
Hey, Rachel.
I was in the neighborhood,
so I thought I might drop by.
Hi.Hello.
Deforest,
this is Charles Byway.
Highway, please. Sorry.
Deforest Honiger.
You're the gatecrasher, right?
Uh, amongst other things,
I suppose so, yes.
It's good to see you. And you.
I like this jacket a lot.
It's very nice.
Hmm, thank you very much.
Go straight through. Yes.
Thank you.
Ah, here they are.
What did you order?
Chicken flambe.
How are you?
Good to see you.
The meringue is
freshly made.
Sir, thank you very much, sir.
Charles, what are you doing?
Oh, just getting
a breath of fresh air.
Well... Well, come on back.
I'm not going back in there.
Are you all right?
Yeah, sure. I'm fine.
Okay.
Well, look,
I should go back.
Uh-huh. Okay.
I had a friend
who once used to try
hypnotizing girls into bed.
Well, you should
have bleeding asked me,
shouldn't ya?
Asked you?
It's not as though
you weren't there!
Oh, bollocks!
Is that you, Charles?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, well,
come on in the lounge.
My parents
usually refer to Norman
as "the bastard."
This generally means
someone who has stopped
worshiping his wife.
Norman wasn't, however,
what's known as a real bastard
for the simple reason
he makes money.
Real bastards are
penniless bastards.
It fell off the back
of the lorry.
Now, normally retails
at 30 quid a barrel,
this stuff 10 quid.
Oh, yeah.
You know, a bloke I know,
he drank four pints
of this stuff,
fell out
of his bedroom window.
Got his head impaled
on the railings.
Christ.
Yeah, well, I feel like
getting pissed anyway.
Why?
You know, I met this girl.
So?
Well, you know...
A little bit scary.
You, uh...
Have you done it yet?
Oh, God, look at you.
Is it any wonder?
I mean, she does do it,
does she?
How old is she?
She's not your type, Norman.
You have been out with her?
Lord.
Listen, you put yourself
in her place, all right?
All right?
Say you're her
and she's you.
Now, this girl keeps
ringing you up, right?
But you got plenty
of other girls on the go,
so you play it easy, right?
Hmm. Now, what would she have to
say to get you interested?
So that you'd drop
all the others and pull her?
I mean, if she wanted to
get you goin', she wouldn't
say, "Oh, Charles, fuck me."
She'd say, "Oh, Charles,
fuck you. Fuck off."
Just to get you going, right?
What are you saying,
that I phone up Rachel
and then tell her to fuck off?
Oh, gee, leave it, huh?
I see you wankers,
tripping over your cocks,
falling over backwards.
Makes me sick.
They don't like it either.
You wanna know my secret?
Norman's law?
Be flash.
Act like you couldn't
give a fuck. She'll be
begging for it.
Rachel.
Chris, where have you been?
I went for a slash,
and the bog's flooded.
Charming. Hi. Hi.
I'm sorry
about the other day.
That's okay. No problem.
Deforest does
things like that.
He just shows up.
Ah, it's nothing. Anyway,
I'm allergic to velvet
and crowded rooms.
They make me nervous.
What, you, nervous?
Well, even the best of us
have our occasional
weak points.
I, on the other hand,
tend to make up for it
with wit, charm
and the ability to forge
my brother-in-law's signature
on his credit card.
So how about that drink?
I have to take Chris home.
After that.
Won't your brother-in-law
get mad?
The credit card's probably
not his, anyway.
Okay. Maybe a quick one.
Oh, no!
What? I've completely forgot.
I have to go to
a girlfriend's tea party.
I'd cancel, but it's
sort of in my honor.
How about tomorrow?
Say 6:00, Kensington Place.
Yeah?
Taxi!
I don't care
what anyone says.
Poetry, if you can bring
yourself to recite some,
never fails.
Like flowers,
they'll do anything.
You have to have
the hands of a surgeon
to perform this one.
I'll have
a kiwi Fogcutter for two,
please.
Telephone for you,
Charles.
Hello?
Charles, I'm really sorry,
but I can't make it.
What?
I didn't have your number,
so I couldn't
reach you at home.
Charles, are you there?
Uh, yeah.
Hey, it's no problem.
I've bumped into
some friends anyway,
so, you know,
it's no big deal.
Hey, Leanne, stop that,
will you, please? Sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Charles? Uh, yeah.
Hey, have you been
to the Hay's Galleries?
What? The Hay's Galleries.
I just happen to have
some tickets there
for an exhibition
this, um, Sunday.
I thought
you might like to...
Well, you know.
Look, Charles,
I'd like to.
It's just that things are
a bit difficult for me
at the moment, you know?
Yeah, sure.
Bye, then. Yeah, bye. Hey, wait!
Let me give you my number.
The Hay's Gallery?
Look, girls don't want
to be overawed.
They want to have fun,
a good time.
A good time? Yeah, like you.
So, act naturally.
Well, that's crap.
Who's ever got time to act
naturally with a girl?
It's very transparent,
Charles.
Do you recognize this place?
This is where Charles Highway
first got rejected.
And once again here.
And once again here.
Now, can you see it?
There's a definite pattern
being set, isn't there?
But why?
Could there be anyone
more lovable?
Or sexy?
Or mysterious?
I don't think so.
And how does Charles
suffer this rejection?
He's not looking well,
but he's keeping up
a brave front.
If you ask me,
pretty soon, he's gonna be
turning up at Khyber.
Norman! Well.
Really.
He left a very large tip.
We have the most
electrifying classes.
The boy's a genius.
Surely with these kind of
references, there must be
some hope.
But we'll have
to wait and see.
The Hay's, 3:00, Sunday.
Needless to say,
I went to the gallery
the day before
to be fully prepared.
I mapped out
an approximate route,
noted points
of general interest
and I had a thorough look
through all the paintings.
Especially the ones
that I thought might provoke
the right kind of mood.
My father left when
we were living in Paris.
When was that? Nine years ago. I was 10.
Ten? So, you're
the same age as me?
Don't sound so shocked.
Oh, no. It's just I thought
you were older, that's all.
Charmingly older.
Do go on. You were at the bit
where you father pushed off.
Cruelly left you, right? Yeah.
Well, I moved here
with my mom.
She got married again. Yeah?
What about your dad?
My dad's an artist.
Um, he lives in New York
with his new girlfriend.
He's still trying to be
the parent, you know?
He asked me
if I was on the pill.
Really? Does he worry
about that sort of thing?
He doesn't even like me
being at Tauber's.
Why?
Well...
I'm not gonna stay there
much longer anyway.
There's this modeling agency
in New York.
Modeling? What?
Only seems to be
a profession that specializes
in illiterates, that's all.
Well, maybe that was
a bit harsh.
Maybe I'm just trying
to put you off. Why?
It just doesn't
seem like you, that's all.
There. See?
It's true. You see?
You great huge yob,
it's true!
What the fuck's it
doing in there?
Because you're
a great, fat animal,
and I knew you'd
tear it up, that's why!
You murderer!
Jennifer, go to bed, now!
You go to bed,
you bastard!
Oh, fuck!
Charles!
Charles.Uh, yeah?
You been messing about
with my record collection?
Well, I've been putting
the records back
in the right sleeves,
if that's what you mean. Don't, all right?
It's confusing. Okay.
Ow!
So, fancy a game of cards?
Do you want
some of this stuff? No.
I've lost my appetite.
I remember reading that
the soul recoils from food
at such a moment as this,
but what can you do?
Will you stop loafing about
for a start? I beg your pardon?
Did you make your move yet? Well, you can't just
go charging in.
It's all about timing.
Timing, at this moment,
is of the utmost importance.
If you're off by even one day,
then the whole thing can get
screwed up.
Oh, well, excuse me.
What are you waiting for,
a telegram?
Just get in there.
Listen, now let me
tell you something.
Rachel's not some meaningless,
casual sex situation.
No. She's way
out of that league.
Anyway, I'm not quite sure
how she sees me.
I think she thinks
I'm just a bit of a laugh.
Obvious what your next
step's got to be, isn't it?
What's that?
You've got to do
something, uh,
something sexy.
Like what?
I know just the thing.
So you're naturists?
Thanks for coming over
and telling me.
Naturists? What in heaven's
name does she mean?
It looks rather fun.
What pretty girls.
I wish I could join in.
Oh, good.
That one's for me.
Thank you, yes,
I'd love to come over.
It was strange,
but I didn't feel
a bit embarrassed.
I suppose it was because
the others were so natural.
I'm going to kill Norman.
This is kind of funny.
Hmm. This is the life!
How free one feels.
Well, I... I thought
it went across rather well.
You know,
soul before aesthetics.
Content before style,
love before sex.
Though I think, in some cases,
that sex is a possible
consideration before love.
Sorry, uh,
Charles. Dad.
What are you
doing up in town?
I'm here for a meeting.
Business, you know.
Um, we had to come up.
Oh, you're with Mom.
No. Unfortunately,
your... Your mother
couldn't make it.
Thank you, dear.
Yes, this is Ms. Reynolds,
from our office.
This is Charles.
He's my son.
And, um... Uh, Rachel.
Rachel Noyce. Hi.
My dad and Miss... Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Vanessa, yes.
I would have rang you
and Jenny, uh,
but we've had
a very heavy workload,
Charles, very heavy.
Oh, that's okay.
I had no idea you were
an art lover, Dad.
Oh. Oh, yes, it's been a...
It's been a secret passion
of mine for years.
I would like to be here
more often, but there you go.
One of life's
cruel tragedies.
I'll call you later.
It's just that... Well...
I think about you
a hell of a lot, that's all.
A few days later,
I bumped into Rachel,
totally unprepared.
No pad, no pencil.
I was forced to improvise.
Well, not half bad.
An invitation to dinner
at the mum's.
So what do you think?
A bit boring, right?
Well, that's okay.
Because if there's
one thing that mothers
don't want to see in you
is whatever it is
that their daughters do.
Good evening.
Hello.Oh, hi.
Come on. Oh, sure.
By the way, we never
mention my father, okay?
Oh, sure. No sweat.
Don't worry. I'm really good
at these sort of things.
Hello. I'm... I'm sorry.
I've completely forgotten
your name.
Charles. Charles, that's right.
We... We haven't seen you
since your disappearing act
that day.
Rachel said you had
some family problems
or something.
I'm sorry? That day at tea, you know?
Blink, you're there.
Blink again, you're not.
Uh, yes. Family problems.
That's right.
Well, I hope
everything's okay.
Rachel says you're thinking
about going to Oxford.
Mmm. Thinking about it, yes. Which college?
I haven't decided yet.
Well, you never know.
Maybe we'll end up
at the same one.
Yes, maybe we will.
Right, maybe.
Good to see you again.
Yes, and you.
Excuse me.
Four days ago,
she showed up in a car.
Do we have to?
Mmm? Mmm.
...bouncing around
in the States.
Yeah, but didn't you think...
I can't believe
you liked that.
I thought it was...
I thought it was very, very...
It was
really garish and loud.
Just bouncing around.
It was just confusing.
What are you doing?
Look, what's
the story here?
What are you
talking about?
I mean, it's a setup, right?
Instead of this time,
it's not just Deforest.
This time, your whole
bloody family are in on it.
No, it's not like that at all.
Rachel.
Rachel.
Rachel?
Rachel.
No. Wait, wait, wait.
Don't go just yet.
And don't tell me
it's gonna be difficult. It is.
What are you doing
this weekend?
Why?
Well, it's my parents'
wedding anniversary.
We could spend
the weekend down there.
It won't be that awful.
No, it might be, actually.
A wedding anniversary?
We could be talking
about one of the major
social events of the decade.
Needless to say,
I made detailed plans
for the weekend,
starting with
an intimate train ride
down to the country.
If I get the coin in the cup,
I'll be in bed
with Rachel by
midnight.
Boy!
The bonds of love
and loyalty.
It's real,
it's a true pleasure
to be able to still
celebrate those good,
old-fashioned values
at a time when it seems
that most people
have forgotten them.
To Gordon and Charlotte.
The next 25 years.
ALL: Gordon and Charlotte.
Bit much
your father bringing his tart,
though, isn't it?
Hmm.
You know about that, do you?
Who doesn't?
Here you go. Cheers.
So, that's the famous
Rachel, is it?
Yeah.
Not bad. Cheers.
More sherry, Sir Herbert?
Or maybe something stronger?
Why not? Mmm-hmm.
Tell me, who is
that tall fellow?
Oh, you mean Norman.
Yes, well, that,
would you believe,
is my son-in-law.
Really? Mmm.
I only bring him out
on special occasions.
He's not really house-trained.
I saw Johnny Valentine
when he was...
Because the war cut
my activities short,
pretty much.
I was evacuated.
Mmm.
Very nice drop.
Very nice drop indeed.
Yeah.
Got the good stuff tonight,
eh?
Ah. That must be
an important night, eh? Yeah.
Usually we only get
the piss and vinegar stuff
down here.
Piss and vinegar.
Not very nice.
Ah, it's a very nice drop,
Mum, very nice indeed, yeah.
Mmm. Lovely, Mom.
Tosser.
Does it bother you?
What?
Your father
and what's her name,
Vanessa.
Uh, well, a bit, yeah.
You know, I kind of thought
it wouldn't,
you know, before,
but he seems to be
having such a good time.
You know,
he never looked better.
But then, look at my mom.
She wanders around the garden
in her pullover and Wellies
looking like a slightly
effeminate farm hand.
Could I ask you a question?
Depends.
Have you slept
with Deforest?
Well, come on, have you?
It's my right to know.
I demand to know.
Hello. Hello.
Deforest?
Deforest?
Look, are you all right?
Can I get you something?
I'd like to have
a word with you.
So what happened?
Rachel,
what did he say?
How did he know
you were here?
My mother must have
told him.
Oh, great!
Look, I better go back
to London with him.
You can't.
I have to.
But you said you'd stay here
for the weekend.
You can't just cave in
to him like that.
I'm not.
Well, I know
what's gonna happen.
You'll walk out of here
in a moment.
I'm never gonna
see you again.
So begins a stage
in my descent into manhood.
A period that I would call
my all-time low.
Listen, kid.
It must have been
tough for you, too.
Come on.
Drop your cock,
grab your socks.
Somebody upstairs
I want you to meet.
A fucking mess in here. What?
Come on. Don't be
a wanker all your life.
Now, remember,
keyword for you is flash.
Come on! Come on!
Look who I bumped into.
Yeah, I was down the road
getting a few provisions,
then there she was,
on her way home.
Said she should come back
for a cup of tea, didn't I?
Hi.
Hi.
Here, look.
Bugger all this tea.
Why don't we all go out, eh?
Out? Yeah, out.
You remember out.
Come on. Upstairs.
Get some tights on.
I haven't seen you
at school much.
No, well, the exams.
I've been studying.
I was busy.
Sorry about Norman
dragging you back down here
and everything. I didn't...
That's okay.
I was gonna call you anyway.
Yeah? What for?
Uh, listen,
I've just remembered
I've got something
on downstairs.
I won't be a sec.
Do you want a drink
or something?
Sure. Yeah?
I've been
reading, um,
well, a lot of metaphysical
poets recently.
But there's this one
Elizabethan love couplet, um,
"Love seeketh only
self to please,
"To bind another
to its delight,
"Joys in another's
loss of ease,
"Builds a Heaven
in Hell's..."
No, um...
"Builds a Hell
in Heaven's..."
"Despite."
Pardon? "And builds a Hell
in Heaven's despite."
Then it goes,
"Love seeketh not
itself to please
"To bind another
to its delight,
"Joy in another's
loss of ease,
"And builds a Heaven
in Hell's despite."
How did you know that?
Blake's one
of my favorite poets.
I'm glad you're here.
So, um, how's Deforest?
He's okay.
Really?
No, not really.
I thought I may as well
make one of you happy.
What, me?
If you still want me.
Two times two is four.
Three times two is six.
Four times two is...
Four times two is... Is...
Is eight!
Yes, it is.
Oh, thank you, God.
Income tax returns.
Ladies with
handlebar mustaches.
Football in the rain.
Norman in Wellies.
Two thirteens are 26.
Three thirteens are... Ah!
The fingernails in my back!
Give me strength!
Charles? Mmm?
There's something
I have to tell you.
Mmm-hmm.
I have to go away
with my mother.
What? Why?
I promised her.
Well, it's out
of the question.
Can't your mother
go on her own? Oh, I have to.
You can't.
We've only just...
Well, you know.
Hmm. You can't.
Well, why don't I
phone her up?
You know, and say,
"To hell with it.
"You're a big girl now,
and you just wanna
come stay with me."
No. She doesn't like you.
Hmm.
What about Deforest?
What about him?
Why don't we say
that he's taking you away?
My mother already knows
we split up.
Then it's perfect.
It could be
your get-back-together
holiday.
Think of how happy
it'll make her.
And so we planned
and lied and lied and planned.
A date was set.
Somewhat dramatically,
it fell on both
Rachel's birthday
and the day of my exams.
A double celebration.
A new chapter in my life
was about to open.
Living with someone.
The fusing
of two personalities into one.
The shredding
of all defenses.
Laying oneself
completely naked
in front of someone else
and saying,
"Here I am at my worst.
"Now, love me."
Just to remind you,
you have three hours
to complete this paper.
You may begin now.
Yeah!
Happy birthday, Rachel.
Happy birthday.Happy birthday.
Guess what? What?
I've got my older woman.
I learned
the pleasures of cleanliness,
taking three
or four baths a day.
It was days
of frantic avowals
and wordy, mutual praise.
We were beautiful
and brilliant.
Our children would undoubtedly
be beautiful and brilliant.
Our bodies functioned
only in orgasm.
To Rachel,
sex was Disneyland,
and I was the ride.
I can never get
these damn things on.
Well, it helps if you
don't undo it first.
Oh. Oh, I see.
All right?
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay.
No, I was just
gonna take a bath.
I'll wait.
Charles, come in.
Guess what.
What?
Jenny's gonna have a baby.
Of course.
That's what all
the shouting's been about.
Isn't it great?
Yes, I suppose so.
I wonder what made
Norman change his mind.
He probably decided
it's the right time.
Too logical.
Guilt, more likely.
In six months,
I'm gonna be an uncle.
She said
it was the right time.
Yeah.
What, for her
to have a baby?
No, that's not
what she meant.
It's not what she said,
it's more the way
she said it. And how was that?
Well, you know.
Real loaded.
Girls love babies,
that's all.
Doesn't mean anything.
I mean, have you seen
what happens
when you put a baby
in a roomful of women?
It's frightening.
She had her period.
Well, girls tend to.
Yeah, but it was in bed.
I woke up,
and it was like that scene
from The Godfather.
You know, the one
with the horse's head.
I don't know what
you're complaining about.
It's a small price to pay
for great sex.
Okay, so you're
probably all thinking
that this is where I start
coming off all unsympathetic,
right?
But I can't help it.
I mean, there's nothing
like a piece of good news
in somebody else's life
to put your own
into perspective.
Right?
Um...
Charles?
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just gonna
have a bath.
Well, let me in.
Yeah, I'll be out
in a minute.
And so it seems
all things come to an end.
Rachel's mum has decided
to return a few days early...
I'll call you later.
Coinciding with
the less-surprising news
that I'd passed my exams.
An interview
with the college don
had been scheduled
for the very next day.
I'd better prepare
for my interview tonight.
Okay.
Bye.
Oh.
Shoes.
You left them under the bed.
Bye.Bye.
Hello.
Haven't seen you
for a long time.
I know.
I was just
in the neighborhood,
so I thought...
No, it's good to see you.
You want to come in?
Anyway, by the end,
I was getting so bored
with this jealousy thing,
I just said to myself,
"Enough's enough."
So what did you do?
So I told him,
"It's finished."
What did he say?
He didn't.
He just hit me.
Another one of Norman's
bloody deliveries.
What?
Don't even ask.
Oh, yeah, uh,
I won't be a second, okay?
Rachel! My mother found out
about us staying here.
Rachel, no. How?
I don't know.
Anyway, it all came out.
Shit!
I could've
lied to her, but I figured,
why should I?
You better have a drink.
Now, I don't have to lie
about anything, even you. Right.
What's going on?I'm just trying
to find a bottle
that doesn't have Norman's
lip marks all over it.
No, I mean your back.
Uh... Oh, no.
Oh, I was just
about to have a bath.
I slipped. It's nothing.
Let's go downstairs.
What about the drinks? Bring them with you.
Right.
What happened here?
Huh? Oh, Geoff came around
with his new girlfriend
earlier.
Left the place
in a bit of a state.
Nice girl, though.
You would've liked her.
Here, let me help.
You smell strange.
Really?
It's sex.
What? You smell of sex.
It exudes from every pore.
You're not gonna
believe this.
There doesn't seem
to be any left.
Yeah, there is.
I saw them this morning.
Uh, are you sure?
I'm positive.
Oh, yes. Here it is.
Must have slipped out.
Charles,
you've got bubble gum
at the end of your...
It's already been used.
Uh, yeah.
I thought you said
you found a new one.
Yeah, I lied.
Why?
Uh...
What's wrong?
Look, um...
There's something I need
to talk to you about.
Your back.
You didn't fall on the floor,
did you?
Did you? Rachel.
Did you?
No.
Rachel... Just fuck off!
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just that
I have been feeling
a bit strange recently.
So you had to go
and fuck someone else?
It's not about that.
It's not about that.
It's...
Well...
Well, it's about us
and, um, well, what's been
happening to us.
And what's that?
I don't know
how to say this
without sounding like a...
Well...
You know,
these last two weeks,
they've been
very special to me,
and, uh...
Well, I wouldn't
want to change them
for the world,
you know,
but I wish
I could stop changing,
but I can't.
I've tried,
and I can't, and I...
Just cut it out.
Tell me what you mean,
but spare the bullshit.
What are you
talking about?
All this stuff you think
makes you look so smart.
I thought you knew
you could just cut it out.
You're not the only one
who can do it.
All those stories
about my father
leaving us in Paris,
going with a mistress,
it's bullshit.
I don't even know
who my father is.
Come in.
Hi. Hi.
Sit.
Uh... Yes, thanks.
Mr. Highway.
Yeah.
Do you like literature?
What sort
of a question is that?
Oh, excuse me.
Only I've read your paper
a couple of times,
and I'm still
not quite sure.
For example,
in the literature paper,
you complain that
"Yeats and Eliot,
"in their later phases,
opted for the cold certainties
"that can only work
outside the messiness of life.
"They prudently repaired
to the artifice of eternity."
Etcetera, etcetera,
etcetera.
Yawn, yawn, yawn.
Again,
in the criticism paper,
you jeer at Lawrence's
"unreal sexual grandiosity,"
using yet another
author's arguments,
Middleton Murray this time,
from his Women In Love.
Then, in the very next line,
you scold his "over-facile
equation of art and life."
On Blake,
you seem quite happy
to paraphrase,
the "fearful symmetry stuff
"about autonomous
verbal constructs
"necessarily unconnected
with life."
Oh, God.
But in your essay paper,
you come on all excited
about "the urgency
"with which Blake educates
and refines our emotions,
"side stepping the props
and splints of artifice."
You ever tried
Side stepping a splint,
by the way?
Or educating someone urgently,
for that matter?
We won't be a minute.
Well, I won't go on.
Literature has a kind of life
of its own, you know.
You can't just use it
for your own ends.
Like to take a look at these?
See if you agree?
No.
I want you to do
a great deal of thinking
over the next few months,
to work out if you
really wanna come here.
Come here? Yeah, I'm gonna take you.
If I don't, you're only
going to get worse.
I'll look on you
as my special case,
but for Christ's sakes,
stop reading
all those critics.
Stop talking
all that bullshit.
Just say whether you like
what you read or not.
Work out what it is
you do like.
Come on.
Is Rachel home, please?
No, she's not.
When will she be back?
Who is it, Maria?
Uh, it's me,
Mrs. Seth-Smith.
Charles. Charles Highway.
I was looking
for Rachel, actually.
She's not here.
You just missed her.
Well, perhaps you could
give her these for me?
I'm not sure
the flowers will keep.
I'm sorry?
She's left for New York.
I don't know
when she'll be back.
Didn't she tell you?
She's on her way
to the airport now.
Excuse me. Could you
tell me which gate is
the flight to New York?
That one. Thank you very much.
Twenty years old.
Excuse me.
I ended up
going to Oxford,
Side stepping Dr. Knowd,
though,
and going
to a different college.
But some things
never seem to change.
You hope that they will,
but they never do.
Although, there can be
the odd surprising exception.
And Rachel?
I bumped into her
some time later,
at the Hay's,
of all places.
She was living full-time
in New York now,
though not with Deforest,
you'll be glad to hear.
We spent
the whole afternoon together,
laughing at some of the more
feeble etchings.
Later, as we were
about to leave,
we passed through
the main hall.
Standing there,
the light shining down,
I thought Rachel
had never looked lovelier.
It made me think
of that Blake quote.
You know the one,
about love being eternal.
And for a moment,
I thought
about saying it now.
The only trouble was
I couldn't remember it.