The Red Admiral (2025) Movie Script
1
A long time ago
there was a magical forest.
It was a peaceful place filled
with laughter and music.
Man and beast
lived in harmony.
Fairies and fauns danced
gaily in the moonlight
- until one day...
- Wait, wait, wait!
Are you not sick of cheapo
budget fantasy films
that take themselves
too seriously?
Whatever happened
to Dorothy melting
a witch with a bucket of water?
Let's rewind and do
that all again.
Keep it light, relatable
with lots of lovely
characters.
So go, do and do!
That's much better.
You! Stop eating
paper, alright?
I'll pay you
when you do the work,
but you never do the work, see?
I hate my job.
I really, really hate my job.
I bet he doesn't
even realize that
I haven't been listening
for 30 minutes.
I'm not thinking about
you, Mr. Boss Man,
I'm thinking about
my Chicken Pad Thai
for dinner
and the Danish in my bag.
Yep, yep, sure thing, Boss.
Keep talking.
Blah, blah, blah, blah...
Business
really isn't good.
We have to think
outside the box,
sell more of our product.
Uh, yes.
It's a tough market
for our product,
but things will get
better in time.
Surely we just gotta wait.
Well, it's exactly that sort
of "blazed" thinking
that has put us in
this sort of position.
You mean "blas"?
Alright, go home and come back
with a list of new ideas
that we can try.
I can't come up with all
the ideas on my own, alright?
Do we both have
to write a list?
Yes, Terry. That's one
list from each of you.
Just so we're clear, okay?
Okay.
I want to see structure,
with detailed analysis,
and no less than 1,500 words.
Sounds like you're
describing an essay.
Zip it! Out.
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Alright then.
I'm out, ladies.
Terry and Dave!
Every single time.
Same story with these guys.
Catch you tomorrow, Dave.
See you, Terry.
Take care getting home.
I live just around the block.
Be careful anyway.
Thanks.
You too.
Are you hungry?
What do
you mean am I hungry?
Of course I am, I'm homeless!
Sorry. Would
you like my Danish?
Bye now.
Enjoy the food.
This is Terry.
What the... hell?
He is
the hero of this story.
You'll never find me, Terry!
I'm the narrator!
I'm only heard, never seen.
Leave me alone.
You can run
all you want, Terry,
there's no escape.
I said you can run
all you want, Terry!
I'm not running just
because you tell me to.
Aww. Come
on, I'm not a joke.
La, la, la, can't hear you.
Yes, you can.
Nope.
- Excuse me, can you let me...
- Nope.
Can you let me pass?
Terry, you've been chosen.
Follow me
and fulfill your destiny.
-What?
-Follow me
-and fulfill your destiny.
-Oh, no.
There's um, there's someone
I can call for you?
-Do you need help?
-You would so blatantly
ignore your destiny like that?
You don't even care
that I know your name?
He doesn't
mean it, Beth.
What he meant to say was
that he is overwhelmed
with curiosity.
It's not every day
that a wizard
offers to show
you your destiny.
Leave me alone, you fruitcake!
Wherever you are,
whoever you are!
Okay, listen to me, Terry.
The town, it's in danger.
The killing won't cease until
the Red Admiral is stopped.
This is your destiny.
I already have a Destiny.
She's at home waiting for me.
I'm not interested
in lumping dress up
or whatever it is
you're doing out here.
So please, let me pass.
Besides, this isn't
even considered a town anymore.
It's a ward, you nut job.
Well, you leave
me no choice, Terry.
What the hell
just happened?
We're in the forest
on the edge of town.
We took a shortcut
down the rabbit hole.
There's a forest
on the edge of town?
Yes, now we must not delay,
there's so much to do
and so little time.
This looks like heather bush.
It's the only local forest
of plant plantation.
Carbon capture from exotics
is actually surpri--
Look, don't worry
about that right now.
What you need to know is that--
Okay, Ruth?
Beth.
Beth. Sorry, Beth.
How'd you even get me here?
I really didn't
want to come along.
I'm a wizard.
Yeah, I need to get to Destiny.
- Destiny?
- I need to get home
-to my girlfriend, Destiny--
-But no.
No, okay, your destiny is
to stop the Red Admiral--
Now--
I'm gonna
be a bit late, yeah.
Some mental person dressed
like a wizard tricked me.
Yes, I guess if it's a woman,
she'll take me and be a witch--
- Okay, okay--
- She's adamant,
she's adamant
that she's a wizard.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay! Fine!
Hey.
No, don't have--
Okay, okay, okay.
I love you, I love you.
See you soon, bye.
Look, I'm not sure where I am,
or how you managed
to get me here.
Can you point me
in the right direction
so I can get out of the forest?
Come on, tell me
how to get out.
At this moment,
the pair realized--
- There you are!
- No! No!
Don't get angry
at him! Terry!
You were chosen
by a higher power.
You can't fight it!
Who?
The wise one!
The wise, wise one?
Bell. He looked
at your CV
and thought you would
do a good job.
Who's Bell
and how did he get my CV?
My boss. You don't--
you don't remember
applying for the job?
I did a reference check
with your old boss Steven.
-Hi, is this Steven?
-Yes.
I'm ringing about a former
employee of yours, Terry?
-Yes.
-Any good?
-Yes!
-Thanks.
Ah, well... I want
to talk to your boss.
He's working
from home today.
Why does it matter?
You can't just connect someone
down a rabbit hole
-and force him to work for you.
-Yes, we can!
Look...
His wife is unwell,
she's got vanishing sickness.
So he's gotta take
care of the kids,
school drop-offs,
that sort of thing.
He's very busy and very
irritable at the moment.
Cut it out!
Cut it out!
Please, Terry.
- I need your help.
- Terry was scared.
He searched deep inside
himself for the courage
he would need to confront
the Red Admiral--
Shut up!
Hey, there's no reception
for Google Maps here.
So the only way
to get you out...
is if you help me.
You help me and I help you.
Capisce?
Fine.
-Great!
-Great.
Okay, first things first,
we need to get you changed
into something
more appropriate.
-No, you don't.
-You ready? You ready? Go.
This is ridiculous!
Everything
you could ever need
to stop the Red Admiral, Terry.
I know this was
a really hard decision
for you, Terry!
Actually, I had no choice!
It's like going
to a restaurant, okay?
And you're trying to decide
whether you get the Pad Thai
like you always do,
or you try something different.
But what if the different
thing that you've tried,
you don't like, and you've
wasted all this time and money
coming to a restaurant
to have a terrible meal?
But I swear to you, Terry,
this time you won't regret
trying the Chicken Lob Guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do I do with it?
Just--
Pocket.
Where'd it go?
My Percocet!
Bypass is a real game changer.
You don't even have to go
through Hamilton City anymore.
It really made
them more central.
A lot more central.
Oh!
Shall we talk about
the weather instead?
Can you tell me more
about the Red Admiral
and why we have to kill it?
If we can, I'd like to avoid
killing the Red Admiral,
but yay, I'm glad
you're finally engaged
with the adventure.
I thought the whole point
of all this is to kill it.
The Red Admiral should
be stopped, yes,
and ideally we do so
without killing it.
And? Are you gonna tell me
who the Red Admiral is?
It's not a matter
of who, but what.
It is a fearsome creature,
beautiful, yet really,
really scary.
For one of them to become
so violent, it is unusual,
and it's caused quite
a disturbance on the Ether Net.
And I've got to find
out why to prevent others
from becoming so violent.
-"Ethernet?" Really? Come on!
-No, no.
"Ether Net." it is
a magical net,
unseen to the human eye.
Keeps all
the Lepidoptera contained.
I can already tell this is
gonna be a huge waste of time.
Without the Ether Net intact,
the mortal world can
be severely impacted.
Who knows what might
be unleashed into town?
Lions? Tigers, bears,
to say the least?
And I'm not even talking
about the grizzly kind.
I'm talking about the hairy,
gay kind.
-Oh, my!
-If there are mammals
being introduced
to New Zealand, shouldn't
the Department of Conservation
be made aware of it?
That's not important right now.
What?
Destiny decided that--
What do
you mean "Destiny"?
Are we or aren't
we meant to be a team?
Yes, sorry.
- We decided that--
- Stop apologizing.
Right.
We decided
that our relationship
could be greatly improved
through counselling,
that way I can speak
to a professional
- about my problems?
- All your problems.
Yes, all my problems.
That way we can come
up with a solution
on how I can improve.
Can I be
honest with you too?
I couldn't agree more!
From the three seconds
that I've known you, Terry,
it's clear you have
lots of issues!
Let's discuss
some of them, shall we?
As we go along, maybe you come
up with solutions.
He hardly does
any work around the house.
That's appalling!
Let me make a note: "Terry
needs to do more chores."
- What's next?
- He's a lazy lover.
Wow! Just wow!
...what said.
Hold on a second.
I'll just make another
note: "Lazy lover."
Tell me more.
He says I'm bossy,
he snores, he smells,
he says that I can't have
my dolls on my nightstand,
I have to keep them
in the closet
because apparently
they freak him out,
he talks to other girls
when we go out,
he has friends that are girls
and I'm not allowed
to have my friends over
because they're rude
to him apparently,
and he says
they're a bad influence on me.
I, I--I don't like
any of his clothing.
He--Like, he probably--
He probably sleep walks,
So I, I don't know
what to do anymore.
I give up.
It's
clear that Terry
is one of the worst
human beings
I've ever had the misfortune
of working with!
Do you think there's any errors
you could work on, Destiny?
No, I think I'm okay.
Yep, that's
pretty much spot on.
I'm trying my best!
I'll be home as soon as I can.
You're very good with phones,
are you, Terry?
Would you care for some tea?
Who are you supposed to be?
I'm Chris, the Mad Hat.
See, I'm wearing
my hat sideways,
that's a bit mad.
I mean, wearing a suit
in the bush is probably
a lot madder than wearing
a sideways snapback,
if I'm honest.
Hey, you.
Got a wedding to attend?
Maybe a job interview?
Perhaps a funeral?
Or maybe you've been
charged with murdering
your bitch ex-wife after
she "threw" herself
in front of your car
and you had to press forward?
Come on down to Hallenstein's,
home of the $120 suit.
Don't just take
my word for it,
hear what this scumbag
has to say.
It's great.
Whether I'm at home
or at work hosting
tea parties off the grid,
I always wear Hallenstein's.
Hallenstein's.
Whether you want formal
wear or street wear,
there's something for you.
But let's be real
for a second,
you can't afford
farmers or barkers
and you're too
embarrassed to shop
for collared shirts at Kmart,
so you settled and decided
to shop here,
just like you settled in
your relationship
and your job.
Yeah, I'm looking at you.
Time to add clothing
to the list.
I thought
I was the narrator!
Yeah, I'm a scumbag.
What a strange individual
to encounter in the forest,
though, Terry.
Perhaps he might be able
to aid me in my quest.
Do I have to repeat
what you just said
to Lunatic Hat?
Well, frankly, Terry,
I shouldn't have
to tell you any of this.
I'm on a quest
to stop the Red Admiral.
Is there any way
you can help me?
The Red Admiral?
You mean the one
that's gone feral?
I think you would be wise
to leave such matters alone.
Go on, leave the forest--
Well, you heard the man,
time to go.
-Come on, Beth.
-No, please, Mad Hat.
-That's Mr. Mad Hat!
-Okay.
Sorry. Mr. Mad Hat.
That's Mr. Mad Hat!
Okay, if you have
anything to share with us,
anything that will help us,
it would be
very much appreciated.
They're blackmailing me.
I don't wanna be here.
I accidentally applied
to this job without realizing
what it would entail,
and they kidnapped me.
Well, there is one thing
I can offer you.
What is it?
Why, this is a jar of dirt.
Want to hear
my Jack Sparrow impression?
-Sure!
-No.
"I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of di--"
- It's good, right?
- It was okay.
But--
Just forget it!
I don't mean to make
you upset, Mr. Mad Hat.
Chris!
Gross!
There is a heart
in the jar of dirt,
just like "The Pirates
of the "Carib-bean."
"Carib-bean?" "Bean?"
Does it matter how you say it?
Terry is right,
it's definitely pronounced
"Carib-bean."
Okay, let's keep going.
Yes!
Here, hold my fag, sweetie.
Mommy's going to get a latte.
I'm coming
as quickly as I can!
Shut up.
I told you, she's the wizard.
Never mind it, is
there anything else
I need to get
from the supermarket?
How many times--How many times
do I have to tell you this?
You can't buy
strawberries if they're
not in season.
You have to get them
in a can or something.
Alright.
Look, I'm hanging out, bye.
-Wanna talk about it?
-No.
Maybe it's
the Red Admiral?
Don't be stupid,
butterflies don't
sound like that.
Right. Wait, what?
Can I help you?
We were just passing
through and couldn't help
but notice
your stirring performance.
Well, I am a bard,
I know what I do.
Don't bards usually sing?
My audiences tend
to be blind and or deaf.
So, if your performance
is to blind people,
they can't see you.
Actually, all my performances
are available in Braille. So...
Are you aware
that the Red Admiral
has been sighted
in these parts?
Make it stop!
I am, but I'm just not afraid.
I feel like the Red Admiral is
no match for my sheer optimism.
Make it stop!
I like your attitude.
I'm Beth, I'm a wizard
and that is Terry,
he's a bricklayer.
Well then, actually,
that wasn't very clear.
I don't know what I do,
but we make a product.
- What's your name?
- I'm Kathy.
Well...um...
sorry, you just have
to excuse Terry's mood.
He's feeling
pretty down recently.
-Relationship.
-That's not true.
Would you like to join
us on our quest
to stop the Red Admiral?
I'm sure Terry can
really benefit
from your positivity.
Isn't that right, Terry?
No, I just wanna go home.
Maybe the reason why
all the doors are closed
is so that you can open one
that leads you
to the perfect road.
I'd love to join you, Beth.
I am so excited
to join this team,
I think there's
a great dynamic here.
Beth with her wisdom
and Terry with his--
his muscles.
It's gonna be great. I think,
I think what I'm gonna
bring to this team
is the glue, you know?
Like, the moral support.
It's gonna be fabulous.
Excellent, okay...
Let's get on
with the quest, shall we?
By the way, I think
he's gonna really
-benefit from your positivity.
-Hey, Terry.
Enough with the sniggering.
A valuable addition
to our company,
thought, Terry.
I said
enough with the ,
what's wrong
with the word?
Okay, now you're
making it sound
like I said the n-word.
-Excuse me.
-Don't look at me like that!
This is ridiculous.
I didn't say anything bad!
I said Not "nigger"!
Kathy, please.
Please, please,
some water, please.
Why don't
you drink this?
It's ginger beer.
That's not ginger beer,
that's ginger ale!
Sorry, I'm totally zoned out,
which trail we're going?
I'm following you.
But I've been
following you.
Look here...
Are you kidding me?
How am I supposed
to know where to go?
You're the wizard! A wizard!
That's who you are!
This is ridiculous!
Do your job.
Oh my God,
he is so hot
when he gets angry.
Have you ever heard of
the Bechdel Test before, Kathy?
-No.
-Hmm.
Yeah, well, you're not helping
with comments like that.
What do you mean?
You know,
the three-question test
that measures female
representation in movies.
Are there more than
two female characters?
Do they talk to one another?
And do they discuss
anything other than men?
I see.
Well, in that case,
if I can't talk about men,
are you seeing anyone, Beth?
-Um..., well--
-Would you like to be?
You know what I just realized?
If these two female characters
were discussing
the Bechdel Test during a film,
then wouldn't that conversation
satisfy the test in itself?
Good grief!
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, shit! She got you good.
I hate this place.
I hate it!
This is not fun!
Do you think it's funny?
Stop making fun of me!
You're lucky
you're a woman!
I'm having fun.
Oh, okay, good.
- Hey! Let's go!
- Okay, Grumpy!
Come on, mate, get up.
You got hit pretty hard.
Time for a concussion test.
- Okay.
- If the base
of the right-angle triangle
is five meters
and the height is three
meters,
then what is the length
of the hypotenuse?
I don't know off
the top of my head.
It's
34 meters, you idiot.
No it isn't.
Pythagoras Theorem
states that the square
of the hypotenuse is
equal to the square
of the other two sides.
So you need
the square root of 34.
What is it, Terry?
-Is it another ghost?
-Better not be.
She looks
more like a geisha to me.
Never mind,
it's just an octopus.
Because that makes
a lot of sense.
-Octopuses are--
-"Octopi."
-Sorry. Octopi--
-Octopi,
octopuses are both acceptable.
Is it saying something?
Uh... He says it's nice to meet
us and his name is Aaron.
And he's asking
if... we're a fellow Mormons.
Nice to meet you, Aaron.
I'm Beth, Terry, Kathy.
We're not Mormons,
though, so...
He's asking
if we'd like to party.
Oh, I'd like to party!
And if we're willing
to accept Joseph Smith
as the prophet of God. No, no.
So strange to see a fire
in this time of year
for our heroes.
I hope whoever lit
it has a valid permit.
Exactly!
That's definitely
my biggest concern.
Not bad, how are you?
Um, we didn't ask how you were.
I'll handle this.
Hi, how are you?
Maybe I have,
maybe I haven't.
I'm Beth.
Terry, Kathy. Have you seen
the Red Admiral in these parts?
This, this isn't a fire.
I don't need
a permit for a pipe.
That wasn't my question.
Sorry,
do you have a permit?
Thanks, Aaron.
I want him to laugh
because of the ratings. Okay.
Okay, we don't have
time for this.
Well, if you will then,
I'll join you.
Come on, Terry, he's not gonna
respond to you like that.
Come on, Terry,
you have to ask him.
Please, Al. Join us.
Yeah, that's better, yeah.
I think this team is
coming along real nicely.
Oh!
We need a group name.
More importantly,
we need a '90s...
-No, no.
-...sitcom...
-...intro.
-Yes!
Beth?
Beth!
-Beth!
-Yeah?
We don't need a name,
and we don't need
a '90s sitcom.
Alan, but you can call me Al.
Ah, now I get it.
He answers
before the question.
That was confusing.
Seal repair? We're near a road.
Catch you later, losers!
I'm going back to civilization.
Have fun hunting
a grumpy butterfly!
Have fun!
Come back!
I just feel like he doesn't
really care about anybody
other than himself, and it's...
Sorry, I just--I can't
do this right now.
Don't worry, Kathy.
He doesn't even know
what seals repairs are!
Where?
Look here. We're
human right now.
Alright? It's not too bad.
It's an actual seal.
Get me out!
I'm just kidding.
Seals don't have radiators.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you ever tried,
um, blubber sausage?
I mean, I can get some
from work today if you want.
Let's go. Not your problem.
Thanks for bringing my net out.
A minor setback for our heroes,
but not enough to stop them
in their quest
for the Red Admiral.
Yeah! Good, come on!
- A seesaw! We have a seesaw!
- Yeah! Hurry up.
Okay.
It was the Red Admiral.
-It's the Red Admiral.
-Great!
Time to get this over with.
I'm starting to think
that this adventure
is worth it.
Don't be so easily fooled.
I've never seen one look
so foul and monstrous.
Come on, really?
She's fanged.
Okay, I take that back.
-What do we do?
-Stay very still.
Well, that was a letdown.
I didn't expect it
to be that simple.
Red admirals, they...
they prefer to pick off
stragglers.
It's very rare
for them to confront a group,
it's becoming very bold.
Where's, where's Al?
Oh, no, we've lost him.
Find him quick, let's go.
That sounds like a bad idea,
you just said the Red Admiral
-likes to pick off stragglers.
-Well, when you find him,
call out and we'll regroup.
Fine.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-You don't get to join in.
-Awww!
I said no head shots.
- Sorry, man.
- You always do this!
- Come on.
- No, I've had enough.
- Come on.
- No. Fuck you!
Let me go!
Hey!
A four-leaf clover!
-Stop it!
-You stop it!
- Stop this!
- Cut it out! I took mine off!
Well, I can take mine off
and we'll be even.
I'm not falling
for these signs again.
Found him.
I didn't go anywhere.
I'm in a sleeping bag,
what did you expect?
I can't keep up!
Then I got a temperature.
Oh, yeah? Why did you go?
Well, wouldn't you?
The economy being
the way it is.
Actually, I don't know
the question for that one.
Help.
Tell Emily that I love her.
- Will you lie to her?
- Yeah.
- Will you?
- Yeah.
That's so confusing,
there's no sign of injury.
What's this?
That's his pipe.
Powerful elixir. Maybe it'll
help us in our battle.
No, I think it's just weed.
Oh, no. Where's Kathy?
Yeah, this is worth it.
Let's go that way.
Over here! He's okay!
It's Aaron.
Kathy.
She's dead.
Oh, lame. I really
started to like her.
The Red Admiral really
had it out for her.
Jeez, look at the state of her.
The snail got off easy.
I think it was
meant to be a caterpillar.
The Red Admiral
must have slashed
her throat and she died.
And stabbed her stomach,
broke her bones,
pulled out her teeth.
Jeez, she even made
her drink ginger ale too.
Hey, I get it now.
Ether--Eth--
Cut it out, Aaron.
Jesus!
"Ether Net,"
because of the butterflies.
That's pretty good.
"Ether Net."
You were right, Terry.
We shouldn't have split up.
-Wasn't the narrator with you?
-Nope.
Hopefully he's dead!
I'm still alive!
Not for long.
Aaron. Aaron,
Aaron, cut it out.
Cut it out, stop.
We can still do this,
their deaths will
not be in vain.
Yes, they will.
And when did you become
so negative?
When you wished me dead.
What did you have in mind?
Um, can you conjure
something for me?
Yes.
Well, there's a size
and weight restriction,
and ideally it has to be
in a box or cylindrical.
That's all I need.
Just give
up already,
I hope you all suffer
horribly.
Why is there
Chicken Pad Thai, you idiot?
This will never work.
You have
to be brave once in a while.
It's not for me,
it's to lure the Red Admiral.
Nobody's that adventurous
the first time
they go to a Thai restaurant.
You always order the Pad Thai,
because that's
what everyone likes,
and if the Pad Thai is good,
then they'll order other
things on the menu!
Aaron!
Aaron!
Cut it out!
Stop, please!
Aaron!
I think I have a better idea.
Fine. I've got shit on my face.
What the--? That tickles!
- Stop, stop, stop!
- Found you!
Ah.
Gotcha!
Yeah, yeah, you're mine now.
Hey! Creepy Crawley! Let's go!
Take me out on a date first
before we start
revealing clothes.
Whoa, I mean, this ain't
that type of fight?
Want some water?
Want some water? Yeah?
In my mouth. Mouth.
You're gonna get her.
You're gonna get her
real good, yeah?
You got this, you got this.
-Yeah.
-Rub my face.
Yeah, that's enough!
Yeah, you got this.
Everything is
on your shoulders.
You got this, you got this.
In my mouth, man!
Water.
-You're gonna win this fight.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
You'll win this fight,
you're wet.
You're ready. You're ready.
-More water!
-You're pumped up.
-More water!
-You're pumped up.
To me!
Let's get this over with.
And now...for a series
of totally unrelated
government-sponsored videos.
The Department
of Conservation.
Here in New Zealand
many of us enjoy
an active outdoor lifestyle.
Fishing and hunting is
part of our DNA,
and if we want
this to be available
to future generations of Kiwis,
then it's important
that we all start adopting
some more sustainable policies.
The Tongariro.
If you're fishing one
of our wonderful rivers like
the Tongariro, then consider
practicing catch and release.
Rather than catching
fish to eat,
try torturing them instead,
and then placing them
back in the river
when you're done having
fun at their expense.
There's no reason
that the same policy
cannot be applied to hunting.
If you catch an animal,
quickly take a selfie
for your Tinder or Bumble
profile picture.
And then let them go.
Remember, we've all got
to play our part.
So get out there
and traumatize some fish.
Kick them!
And now a message
from the Department
of Annihilation.
Nicely done.
How about some
video... clarifying
the Inland Revenues
jurisdiction?
Ah, dammit!
Don't worry.
The Office of Revenue
Department will get her.
Or the Department
of Condensation.
The Department
of "Condensation."
Yeah, not bad for a woman.
Ashton!
Sexist bastard!
-Come on!
-You know the rules!
That wasn't
even that far.
You guys are boring.
No more stupid
common parody videos!
No!
You idiot, she was about
to tell us something.
Hey, I held back.
You can't blame me.
Stop that. Stop that,
you disgusting octopus!
Can't he have this one?
I'm still not really sure
what that guy's all about,
but I'm a fan.
We'll never know, we'll
never know what enraged her so.
If the Ether Net remains weak,
others may turn too, you know?
The way she did.
"What a fool I am"
thought Terry
to have come so far
through so many trials,
only to leave with more
questions than answers.
I'm still alive.
I hope you don't mind,
I killed the narrator.
No, you didn't.
He didn't add any value
to this adventure anyway.
To be fair, Beth,
if the doctors
don't practice
catch and release,
they stick their specimens
up on their wall.
So on balance, I don't
think we did too poorly.
Well, I didn't.
Look at this.
-It's a honeypot.
-Yes.
Do you know what this means?
No, not really.
Bees. They've been declining
in these parts
for some time now.
Do you realize the ecological
consequences
when the bee
population declines?
It could be devastating.
No wonder this Red Admiral
became so enraged.
Come on, we didn't go
through everything
just to give some far-fetched
environmental warnings.
I don't know if you are
aware of this,
but butterflies are
pollinators too.
Without the bees,
this Red Admiral's workload
would have been immense.
So, a butterfly went
on a murderous rampage
because the workload
was too high?
Come on.
-Precisely.
-Really?
I know exactly
what I have to do now.
What?
Enroll in an apiary course
at MIT next semester.
It's time to bring the bees
back to this forest.
Well, you don't need
me for that then.
Can I go home now?
Yeah. You get to go home.
Are you casting a spell?
Oh, no. I have
carpal tunnel on my wrist.
Oh. So, you don't have
a spell to get us out?
No, I think it's just that way.
You know what?
You're unbelievable.
Getting me to fight
your own battles
for some stupid
environmental message.
If you don't drop me off now...
you're gonna be like
that butterfly.
Pretty good
outcome, I'd say.
A bit of a letdown,
but not bad.
Oh.
Can you do something
about my clothes?
And I need help writing
a list for tomorrow.
I can help with the clothes.
Just click your heels
together three times.
Uh, really?
I'll do it.
Thanks!
Hey, don't take
this the wrong way,
but I never ever, ever,
ever wanna see you again, okay?
Okay, then.
-Where have you been?
-Hey.
Did you get the strawberries?
No, let me explain.
-Beth and I, she was--
-Who the hell is Beth?
Uh, she's a wizard. Like, she's
not a very good wizard,
but she works
for a guy named Bill.
She took me in the forest,
we caught a butterfly,
and she brought me back.
She was right here
a second ago.
Like, she was right there.
Like, right there,
she's a wizard!
She was right there
a second ago, right?
I'm not lying to you!
What the fuck?
What is wrong with you?
I've been waiting
here for hours!
If you're gonna go
fuck any girl,
then please don't lie about it.
What are you
even talking about!
After his
perilous journey,
Terry thought he would never
hear of the Red Admiral again.
But he would soon learn
in time that the scars
from his journey
would haunt him
for the rest of his days yet.
Why don't
you drink this?
- It's ginger beer.
- Go home
and come back with a list
of new ideas that we can try.
Ah!
I said no head shots!
Really, really
haunted.
-This house full of weirdos.
-Tell me about it.
A long time ago
there was a magical forest.
It was a peaceful place filled
with laughter and music.
Man and beast
lived in harmony.
Fairies and fauns danced
gaily in the moonlight
- until one day...
- Wait, wait, wait!
Are you not sick of cheapo
budget fantasy films
that take themselves
too seriously?
Whatever happened
to Dorothy melting
a witch with a bucket of water?
Let's rewind and do
that all again.
Keep it light, relatable
with lots of lovely
characters.
So go, do and do!
That's much better.
You! Stop eating
paper, alright?
I'll pay you
when you do the work,
but you never do the work, see?
I hate my job.
I really, really hate my job.
I bet he doesn't
even realize that
I haven't been listening
for 30 minutes.
I'm not thinking about
you, Mr. Boss Man,
I'm thinking about
my Chicken Pad Thai
for dinner
and the Danish in my bag.
Yep, yep, sure thing, Boss.
Keep talking.
Blah, blah, blah, blah...
Business
really isn't good.
We have to think
outside the box,
sell more of our product.
Uh, yes.
It's a tough market
for our product,
but things will get
better in time.
Surely we just gotta wait.
Well, it's exactly that sort
of "blazed" thinking
that has put us in
this sort of position.
You mean "blas"?
Alright, go home and come back
with a list of new ideas
that we can try.
I can't come up with all
the ideas on my own, alright?
Do we both have
to write a list?
Yes, Terry. That's one
list from each of you.
Just so we're clear, okay?
Okay.
I want to see structure,
with detailed analysis,
and no less than 1,500 words.
Sounds like you're
describing an essay.
Zip it! Out.
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Alright then.
I'm out, ladies.
Terry and Dave!
Every single time.
Same story with these guys.
Catch you tomorrow, Dave.
See you, Terry.
Take care getting home.
I live just around the block.
Be careful anyway.
Thanks.
You too.
Are you hungry?
What do
you mean am I hungry?
Of course I am, I'm homeless!
Sorry. Would
you like my Danish?
Bye now.
Enjoy the food.
This is Terry.
What the... hell?
He is
the hero of this story.
You'll never find me, Terry!
I'm the narrator!
I'm only heard, never seen.
Leave me alone.
You can run
all you want, Terry,
there's no escape.
I said you can run
all you want, Terry!
I'm not running just
because you tell me to.
Aww. Come
on, I'm not a joke.
La, la, la, can't hear you.
Yes, you can.
Nope.
- Excuse me, can you let me...
- Nope.
Can you let me pass?
Terry, you've been chosen.
Follow me
and fulfill your destiny.
-What?
-Follow me
-and fulfill your destiny.
-Oh, no.
There's um, there's someone
I can call for you?
-Do you need help?
-You would so blatantly
ignore your destiny like that?
You don't even care
that I know your name?
He doesn't
mean it, Beth.
What he meant to say was
that he is overwhelmed
with curiosity.
It's not every day
that a wizard
offers to show
you your destiny.
Leave me alone, you fruitcake!
Wherever you are,
whoever you are!
Okay, listen to me, Terry.
The town, it's in danger.
The killing won't cease until
the Red Admiral is stopped.
This is your destiny.
I already have a Destiny.
She's at home waiting for me.
I'm not interested
in lumping dress up
or whatever it is
you're doing out here.
So please, let me pass.
Besides, this isn't
even considered a town anymore.
It's a ward, you nut job.
Well, you leave
me no choice, Terry.
What the hell
just happened?
We're in the forest
on the edge of town.
We took a shortcut
down the rabbit hole.
There's a forest
on the edge of town?
Yes, now we must not delay,
there's so much to do
and so little time.
This looks like heather bush.
It's the only local forest
of plant plantation.
Carbon capture from exotics
is actually surpri--
Look, don't worry
about that right now.
What you need to know is that--
Okay, Ruth?
Beth.
Beth. Sorry, Beth.
How'd you even get me here?
I really didn't
want to come along.
I'm a wizard.
Yeah, I need to get to Destiny.
- Destiny?
- I need to get home
-to my girlfriend, Destiny--
-But no.
No, okay, your destiny is
to stop the Red Admiral--
Now--
I'm gonna
be a bit late, yeah.
Some mental person dressed
like a wizard tricked me.
Yes, I guess if it's a woman,
she'll take me and be a witch--
- Okay, okay--
- She's adamant,
she's adamant
that she's a wizard.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay! Fine!
Hey.
No, don't have--
Okay, okay, okay.
I love you, I love you.
See you soon, bye.
Look, I'm not sure where I am,
or how you managed
to get me here.
Can you point me
in the right direction
so I can get out of the forest?
Come on, tell me
how to get out.
At this moment,
the pair realized--
- There you are!
- No! No!
Don't get angry
at him! Terry!
You were chosen
by a higher power.
You can't fight it!
Who?
The wise one!
The wise, wise one?
Bell. He looked
at your CV
and thought you would
do a good job.
Who's Bell
and how did he get my CV?
My boss. You don't--
you don't remember
applying for the job?
I did a reference check
with your old boss Steven.
-Hi, is this Steven?
-Yes.
I'm ringing about a former
employee of yours, Terry?
-Yes.
-Any good?
-Yes!
-Thanks.
Ah, well... I want
to talk to your boss.
He's working
from home today.
Why does it matter?
You can't just connect someone
down a rabbit hole
-and force him to work for you.
-Yes, we can!
Look...
His wife is unwell,
she's got vanishing sickness.
So he's gotta take
care of the kids,
school drop-offs,
that sort of thing.
He's very busy and very
irritable at the moment.
Cut it out!
Cut it out!
Please, Terry.
- I need your help.
- Terry was scared.
He searched deep inside
himself for the courage
he would need to confront
the Red Admiral--
Shut up!
Hey, there's no reception
for Google Maps here.
So the only way
to get you out...
is if you help me.
You help me and I help you.
Capisce?
Fine.
-Great!
-Great.
Okay, first things first,
we need to get you changed
into something
more appropriate.
-No, you don't.
-You ready? You ready? Go.
This is ridiculous!
Everything
you could ever need
to stop the Red Admiral, Terry.
I know this was
a really hard decision
for you, Terry!
Actually, I had no choice!
It's like going
to a restaurant, okay?
And you're trying to decide
whether you get the Pad Thai
like you always do,
or you try something different.
But what if the different
thing that you've tried,
you don't like, and you've
wasted all this time and money
coming to a restaurant
to have a terrible meal?
But I swear to you, Terry,
this time you won't regret
trying the Chicken Lob Guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do I do with it?
Just--
Pocket.
Where'd it go?
My Percocet!
Bypass is a real game changer.
You don't even have to go
through Hamilton City anymore.
It really made
them more central.
A lot more central.
Oh!
Shall we talk about
the weather instead?
Can you tell me more
about the Red Admiral
and why we have to kill it?
If we can, I'd like to avoid
killing the Red Admiral,
but yay, I'm glad
you're finally engaged
with the adventure.
I thought the whole point
of all this is to kill it.
The Red Admiral should
be stopped, yes,
and ideally we do so
without killing it.
And? Are you gonna tell me
who the Red Admiral is?
It's not a matter
of who, but what.
It is a fearsome creature,
beautiful, yet really,
really scary.
For one of them to become
so violent, it is unusual,
and it's caused quite
a disturbance on the Ether Net.
And I've got to find
out why to prevent others
from becoming so violent.
-"Ethernet?" Really? Come on!
-No, no.
"Ether Net." it is
a magical net,
unseen to the human eye.
Keeps all
the Lepidoptera contained.
I can already tell this is
gonna be a huge waste of time.
Without the Ether Net intact,
the mortal world can
be severely impacted.
Who knows what might
be unleashed into town?
Lions? Tigers, bears,
to say the least?
And I'm not even talking
about the grizzly kind.
I'm talking about the hairy,
gay kind.
-Oh, my!
-If there are mammals
being introduced
to New Zealand, shouldn't
the Department of Conservation
be made aware of it?
That's not important right now.
What?
Destiny decided that--
What do
you mean "Destiny"?
Are we or aren't
we meant to be a team?
Yes, sorry.
- We decided that--
- Stop apologizing.
Right.
We decided
that our relationship
could be greatly improved
through counselling,
that way I can speak
to a professional
- about my problems?
- All your problems.
Yes, all my problems.
That way we can come
up with a solution
on how I can improve.
Can I be
honest with you too?
I couldn't agree more!
From the three seconds
that I've known you, Terry,
it's clear you have
lots of issues!
Let's discuss
some of them, shall we?
As we go along, maybe you come
up with solutions.
He hardly does
any work around the house.
That's appalling!
Let me make a note: "Terry
needs to do more chores."
- What's next?
- He's a lazy lover.
Wow! Just wow!
...what said.
Hold on a second.
I'll just make another
note: "Lazy lover."
Tell me more.
He says I'm bossy,
he snores, he smells,
he says that I can't have
my dolls on my nightstand,
I have to keep them
in the closet
because apparently
they freak him out,
he talks to other girls
when we go out,
he has friends that are girls
and I'm not allowed
to have my friends over
because they're rude
to him apparently,
and he says
they're a bad influence on me.
I, I--I don't like
any of his clothing.
He--Like, he probably--
He probably sleep walks,
So I, I don't know
what to do anymore.
I give up.
It's
clear that Terry
is one of the worst
human beings
I've ever had the misfortune
of working with!
Do you think there's any errors
you could work on, Destiny?
No, I think I'm okay.
Yep, that's
pretty much spot on.
I'm trying my best!
I'll be home as soon as I can.
You're very good with phones,
are you, Terry?
Would you care for some tea?
Who are you supposed to be?
I'm Chris, the Mad Hat.
See, I'm wearing
my hat sideways,
that's a bit mad.
I mean, wearing a suit
in the bush is probably
a lot madder than wearing
a sideways snapback,
if I'm honest.
Hey, you.
Got a wedding to attend?
Maybe a job interview?
Perhaps a funeral?
Or maybe you've been
charged with murdering
your bitch ex-wife after
she "threw" herself
in front of your car
and you had to press forward?
Come on down to Hallenstein's,
home of the $120 suit.
Don't just take
my word for it,
hear what this scumbag
has to say.
It's great.
Whether I'm at home
or at work hosting
tea parties off the grid,
I always wear Hallenstein's.
Hallenstein's.
Whether you want formal
wear or street wear,
there's something for you.
But let's be real
for a second,
you can't afford
farmers or barkers
and you're too
embarrassed to shop
for collared shirts at Kmart,
so you settled and decided
to shop here,
just like you settled in
your relationship
and your job.
Yeah, I'm looking at you.
Time to add clothing
to the list.
I thought
I was the narrator!
Yeah, I'm a scumbag.
What a strange individual
to encounter in the forest,
though, Terry.
Perhaps he might be able
to aid me in my quest.
Do I have to repeat
what you just said
to Lunatic Hat?
Well, frankly, Terry,
I shouldn't have
to tell you any of this.
I'm on a quest
to stop the Red Admiral.
Is there any way
you can help me?
The Red Admiral?
You mean the one
that's gone feral?
I think you would be wise
to leave such matters alone.
Go on, leave the forest--
Well, you heard the man,
time to go.
-Come on, Beth.
-No, please, Mad Hat.
-That's Mr. Mad Hat!
-Okay.
Sorry. Mr. Mad Hat.
That's Mr. Mad Hat!
Okay, if you have
anything to share with us,
anything that will help us,
it would be
very much appreciated.
They're blackmailing me.
I don't wanna be here.
I accidentally applied
to this job without realizing
what it would entail,
and they kidnapped me.
Well, there is one thing
I can offer you.
What is it?
Why, this is a jar of dirt.
Want to hear
my Jack Sparrow impression?
-Sure!
-No.
"I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of dirt!
I've got a jar of di--"
- It's good, right?
- It was okay.
But--
Just forget it!
I don't mean to make
you upset, Mr. Mad Hat.
Chris!
Gross!
There is a heart
in the jar of dirt,
just like "The Pirates
of the "Carib-bean."
"Carib-bean?" "Bean?"
Does it matter how you say it?
Terry is right,
it's definitely pronounced
"Carib-bean."
Okay, let's keep going.
Yes!
Here, hold my fag, sweetie.
Mommy's going to get a latte.
I'm coming
as quickly as I can!
Shut up.
I told you, she's the wizard.
Never mind it, is
there anything else
I need to get
from the supermarket?
How many times--How many times
do I have to tell you this?
You can't buy
strawberries if they're
not in season.
You have to get them
in a can or something.
Alright.
Look, I'm hanging out, bye.
-Wanna talk about it?
-No.
Maybe it's
the Red Admiral?
Don't be stupid,
butterflies don't
sound like that.
Right. Wait, what?
Can I help you?
We were just passing
through and couldn't help
but notice
your stirring performance.
Well, I am a bard,
I know what I do.
Don't bards usually sing?
My audiences tend
to be blind and or deaf.
So, if your performance
is to blind people,
they can't see you.
Actually, all my performances
are available in Braille. So...
Are you aware
that the Red Admiral
has been sighted
in these parts?
Make it stop!
I am, but I'm just not afraid.
I feel like the Red Admiral is
no match for my sheer optimism.
Make it stop!
I like your attitude.
I'm Beth, I'm a wizard
and that is Terry,
he's a bricklayer.
Well then, actually,
that wasn't very clear.
I don't know what I do,
but we make a product.
- What's your name?
- I'm Kathy.
Well...um...
sorry, you just have
to excuse Terry's mood.
He's feeling
pretty down recently.
-Relationship.
-That's not true.
Would you like to join
us on our quest
to stop the Red Admiral?
I'm sure Terry can
really benefit
from your positivity.
Isn't that right, Terry?
No, I just wanna go home.
Maybe the reason why
all the doors are closed
is so that you can open one
that leads you
to the perfect road.
I'd love to join you, Beth.
I am so excited
to join this team,
I think there's
a great dynamic here.
Beth with her wisdom
and Terry with his--
his muscles.
It's gonna be great. I think,
I think what I'm gonna
bring to this team
is the glue, you know?
Like, the moral support.
It's gonna be fabulous.
Excellent, okay...
Let's get on
with the quest, shall we?
By the way, I think
he's gonna really
-benefit from your positivity.
-Hey, Terry.
Enough with the sniggering.
A valuable addition
to our company,
thought, Terry.
I said
enough with the ,
what's wrong
with the word?
Okay, now you're
making it sound
like I said the n-word.
-Excuse me.
-Don't look at me like that!
This is ridiculous.
I didn't say anything bad!
I said Not "nigger"!
Kathy, please.
Please, please,
some water, please.
Why don't
you drink this?
It's ginger beer.
That's not ginger beer,
that's ginger ale!
Sorry, I'm totally zoned out,
which trail we're going?
I'm following you.
But I've been
following you.
Look here...
Are you kidding me?
How am I supposed
to know where to go?
You're the wizard! A wizard!
That's who you are!
This is ridiculous!
Do your job.
Oh my God,
he is so hot
when he gets angry.
Have you ever heard of
the Bechdel Test before, Kathy?
-No.
-Hmm.
Yeah, well, you're not helping
with comments like that.
What do you mean?
You know,
the three-question test
that measures female
representation in movies.
Are there more than
two female characters?
Do they talk to one another?
And do they discuss
anything other than men?
I see.
Well, in that case,
if I can't talk about men,
are you seeing anyone, Beth?
-Um..., well--
-Would you like to be?
You know what I just realized?
If these two female characters
were discussing
the Bechdel Test during a film,
then wouldn't that conversation
satisfy the test in itself?
Good grief!
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, shit! She got you good.
I hate this place.
I hate it!
This is not fun!
Do you think it's funny?
Stop making fun of me!
You're lucky
you're a woman!
I'm having fun.
Oh, okay, good.
- Hey! Let's go!
- Okay, Grumpy!
Come on, mate, get up.
You got hit pretty hard.
Time for a concussion test.
- Okay.
- If the base
of the right-angle triangle
is five meters
and the height is three
meters,
then what is the length
of the hypotenuse?
I don't know off
the top of my head.
It's
34 meters, you idiot.
No it isn't.
Pythagoras Theorem
states that the square
of the hypotenuse is
equal to the square
of the other two sides.
So you need
the square root of 34.
What is it, Terry?
-Is it another ghost?
-Better not be.
She looks
more like a geisha to me.
Never mind,
it's just an octopus.
Because that makes
a lot of sense.
-Octopuses are--
-"Octopi."
-Sorry. Octopi--
-Octopi,
octopuses are both acceptable.
Is it saying something?
Uh... He says it's nice to meet
us and his name is Aaron.
And he's asking
if... we're a fellow Mormons.
Nice to meet you, Aaron.
I'm Beth, Terry, Kathy.
We're not Mormons,
though, so...
He's asking
if we'd like to party.
Oh, I'd like to party!
And if we're willing
to accept Joseph Smith
as the prophet of God. No, no.
So strange to see a fire
in this time of year
for our heroes.
I hope whoever lit
it has a valid permit.
Exactly!
That's definitely
my biggest concern.
Not bad, how are you?
Um, we didn't ask how you were.
I'll handle this.
Hi, how are you?
Maybe I have,
maybe I haven't.
I'm Beth.
Terry, Kathy. Have you seen
the Red Admiral in these parts?
This, this isn't a fire.
I don't need
a permit for a pipe.
That wasn't my question.
Sorry,
do you have a permit?
Thanks, Aaron.
I want him to laugh
because of the ratings. Okay.
Okay, we don't have
time for this.
Well, if you will then,
I'll join you.
Come on, Terry, he's not gonna
respond to you like that.
Come on, Terry,
you have to ask him.
Please, Al. Join us.
Yeah, that's better, yeah.
I think this team is
coming along real nicely.
Oh!
We need a group name.
More importantly,
we need a '90s...
-No, no.
-...sitcom...
-...intro.
-Yes!
Beth?
Beth!
-Beth!
-Yeah?
We don't need a name,
and we don't need
a '90s sitcom.
Alan, but you can call me Al.
Ah, now I get it.
He answers
before the question.
That was confusing.
Seal repair? We're near a road.
Catch you later, losers!
I'm going back to civilization.
Have fun hunting
a grumpy butterfly!
Have fun!
Come back!
I just feel like he doesn't
really care about anybody
other than himself, and it's...
Sorry, I just--I can't
do this right now.
Don't worry, Kathy.
He doesn't even know
what seals repairs are!
Where?
Look here. We're
human right now.
Alright? It's not too bad.
It's an actual seal.
Get me out!
I'm just kidding.
Seals don't have radiators.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you ever tried,
um, blubber sausage?
I mean, I can get some
from work today if you want.
Let's go. Not your problem.
Thanks for bringing my net out.
A minor setback for our heroes,
but not enough to stop them
in their quest
for the Red Admiral.
Yeah! Good, come on!
- A seesaw! We have a seesaw!
- Yeah! Hurry up.
Okay.
It was the Red Admiral.
-It's the Red Admiral.
-Great!
Time to get this over with.
I'm starting to think
that this adventure
is worth it.
Don't be so easily fooled.
I've never seen one look
so foul and monstrous.
Come on, really?
She's fanged.
Okay, I take that back.
-What do we do?
-Stay very still.
Well, that was a letdown.
I didn't expect it
to be that simple.
Red admirals, they...
they prefer to pick off
stragglers.
It's very rare
for them to confront a group,
it's becoming very bold.
Where's, where's Al?
Oh, no, we've lost him.
Find him quick, let's go.
That sounds like a bad idea,
you just said the Red Admiral
-likes to pick off stragglers.
-Well, when you find him,
call out and we'll regroup.
Fine.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-You don't get to join in.
-Awww!
I said no head shots.
- Sorry, man.
- You always do this!
- Come on.
- No, I've had enough.
- Come on.
- No. Fuck you!
Let me go!
Hey!
A four-leaf clover!
-Stop it!
-You stop it!
- Stop this!
- Cut it out! I took mine off!
Well, I can take mine off
and we'll be even.
I'm not falling
for these signs again.
Found him.
I didn't go anywhere.
I'm in a sleeping bag,
what did you expect?
I can't keep up!
Then I got a temperature.
Oh, yeah? Why did you go?
Well, wouldn't you?
The economy being
the way it is.
Actually, I don't know
the question for that one.
Help.
Tell Emily that I love her.
- Will you lie to her?
- Yeah.
- Will you?
- Yeah.
That's so confusing,
there's no sign of injury.
What's this?
That's his pipe.
Powerful elixir. Maybe it'll
help us in our battle.
No, I think it's just weed.
Oh, no. Where's Kathy?
Yeah, this is worth it.
Let's go that way.
Over here! He's okay!
It's Aaron.
Kathy.
She's dead.
Oh, lame. I really
started to like her.
The Red Admiral really
had it out for her.
Jeez, look at the state of her.
The snail got off easy.
I think it was
meant to be a caterpillar.
The Red Admiral
must have slashed
her throat and she died.
And stabbed her stomach,
broke her bones,
pulled out her teeth.
Jeez, she even made
her drink ginger ale too.
Hey, I get it now.
Ether--Eth--
Cut it out, Aaron.
Jesus!
"Ether Net,"
because of the butterflies.
That's pretty good.
"Ether Net."
You were right, Terry.
We shouldn't have split up.
-Wasn't the narrator with you?
-Nope.
Hopefully he's dead!
I'm still alive!
Not for long.
Aaron. Aaron,
Aaron, cut it out.
Cut it out, stop.
We can still do this,
their deaths will
not be in vain.
Yes, they will.
And when did you become
so negative?
When you wished me dead.
What did you have in mind?
Um, can you conjure
something for me?
Yes.
Well, there's a size
and weight restriction,
and ideally it has to be
in a box or cylindrical.
That's all I need.
Just give
up already,
I hope you all suffer
horribly.
Why is there
Chicken Pad Thai, you idiot?
This will never work.
You have
to be brave once in a while.
It's not for me,
it's to lure the Red Admiral.
Nobody's that adventurous
the first time
they go to a Thai restaurant.
You always order the Pad Thai,
because that's
what everyone likes,
and if the Pad Thai is good,
then they'll order other
things on the menu!
Aaron!
Aaron!
Cut it out!
Stop, please!
Aaron!
I think I have a better idea.
Fine. I've got shit on my face.
What the--? That tickles!
- Stop, stop, stop!
- Found you!
Ah.
Gotcha!
Yeah, yeah, you're mine now.
Hey! Creepy Crawley! Let's go!
Take me out on a date first
before we start
revealing clothes.
Whoa, I mean, this ain't
that type of fight?
Want some water?
Want some water? Yeah?
In my mouth. Mouth.
You're gonna get her.
You're gonna get her
real good, yeah?
You got this, you got this.
-Yeah.
-Rub my face.
Yeah, that's enough!
Yeah, you got this.
Everything is
on your shoulders.
You got this, you got this.
In my mouth, man!
Water.
-You're gonna win this fight.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
You'll win this fight,
you're wet.
You're ready. You're ready.
-More water!
-You're pumped up.
-More water!
-You're pumped up.
To me!
Let's get this over with.
And now...for a series
of totally unrelated
government-sponsored videos.
The Department
of Conservation.
Here in New Zealand
many of us enjoy
an active outdoor lifestyle.
Fishing and hunting is
part of our DNA,
and if we want
this to be available
to future generations of Kiwis,
then it's important
that we all start adopting
some more sustainable policies.
The Tongariro.
If you're fishing one
of our wonderful rivers like
the Tongariro, then consider
practicing catch and release.
Rather than catching
fish to eat,
try torturing them instead,
and then placing them
back in the river
when you're done having
fun at their expense.
There's no reason
that the same policy
cannot be applied to hunting.
If you catch an animal,
quickly take a selfie
for your Tinder or Bumble
profile picture.
And then let them go.
Remember, we've all got
to play our part.
So get out there
and traumatize some fish.
Kick them!
And now a message
from the Department
of Annihilation.
Nicely done.
How about some
video... clarifying
the Inland Revenues
jurisdiction?
Ah, dammit!
Don't worry.
The Office of Revenue
Department will get her.
Or the Department
of Condensation.
The Department
of "Condensation."
Yeah, not bad for a woman.
Ashton!
Sexist bastard!
-Come on!
-You know the rules!
That wasn't
even that far.
You guys are boring.
No more stupid
common parody videos!
No!
You idiot, she was about
to tell us something.
Hey, I held back.
You can't blame me.
Stop that. Stop that,
you disgusting octopus!
Can't he have this one?
I'm still not really sure
what that guy's all about,
but I'm a fan.
We'll never know, we'll
never know what enraged her so.
If the Ether Net remains weak,
others may turn too, you know?
The way she did.
"What a fool I am"
thought Terry
to have come so far
through so many trials,
only to leave with more
questions than answers.
I'm still alive.
I hope you don't mind,
I killed the narrator.
No, you didn't.
He didn't add any value
to this adventure anyway.
To be fair, Beth,
if the doctors
don't practice
catch and release,
they stick their specimens
up on their wall.
So on balance, I don't
think we did too poorly.
Well, I didn't.
Look at this.
-It's a honeypot.
-Yes.
Do you know what this means?
No, not really.
Bees. They've been declining
in these parts
for some time now.
Do you realize the ecological
consequences
when the bee
population declines?
It could be devastating.
No wonder this Red Admiral
became so enraged.
Come on, we didn't go
through everything
just to give some far-fetched
environmental warnings.
I don't know if you are
aware of this,
but butterflies are
pollinators too.
Without the bees,
this Red Admiral's workload
would have been immense.
So, a butterfly went
on a murderous rampage
because the workload
was too high?
Come on.
-Precisely.
-Really?
I know exactly
what I have to do now.
What?
Enroll in an apiary course
at MIT next semester.
It's time to bring the bees
back to this forest.
Well, you don't need
me for that then.
Can I go home now?
Yeah. You get to go home.
Are you casting a spell?
Oh, no. I have
carpal tunnel on my wrist.
Oh. So, you don't have
a spell to get us out?
No, I think it's just that way.
You know what?
You're unbelievable.
Getting me to fight
your own battles
for some stupid
environmental message.
If you don't drop me off now...
you're gonna be like
that butterfly.
Pretty good
outcome, I'd say.
A bit of a letdown,
but not bad.
Oh.
Can you do something
about my clothes?
And I need help writing
a list for tomorrow.
I can help with the clothes.
Just click your heels
together three times.
Uh, really?
I'll do it.
Thanks!
Hey, don't take
this the wrong way,
but I never ever, ever,
ever wanna see you again, okay?
Okay, then.
-Where have you been?
-Hey.
Did you get the strawberries?
No, let me explain.
-Beth and I, she was--
-Who the hell is Beth?
Uh, she's a wizard. Like, she's
not a very good wizard,
but she works
for a guy named Bill.
She took me in the forest,
we caught a butterfly,
and she brought me back.
She was right here
a second ago.
Like, she was right there.
Like, right there,
she's a wizard!
She was right there
a second ago, right?
I'm not lying to you!
What the fuck?
What is wrong with you?
I've been waiting
here for hours!
If you're gonna go
fuck any girl,
then please don't lie about it.
What are you
even talking about!
After his
perilous journey,
Terry thought he would never
hear of the Red Admiral again.
But he would soon learn
in time that the scars
from his journey
would haunt him
for the rest of his days yet.
Why don't
you drink this?
- It's ginger beer.
- Go home
and come back with a list
of new ideas that we can try.
Ah!
I said no head shots!
Really, really
haunted.
-This house full of weirdos.
-Tell me about it.