The Roses (2025) Movie Script

1
Okay, so today's session, the ten things
you love about each other.
Theo, you first?
Sure.
Um, one.
I would rather live with her than a wolf.
Did you say wolf?
Yeah.
Wow.
Uh, one, he has arms.
Well, I saw Dr. Munch once about a man
without arms, and it looked like a
difficult life, particularly for the
partner, so...
And luckily he has arms.
Yeah, it's fair.
Arms.
Two, the shape of her head is somewhat
pleasing at a distance.
Three, I have memories of her being witty.
Four, she smells pleasant on occasion.
I actually struggle to write any more.
Two, his breath smells like an anchovy
that's been on the piss all night.
Three, the way he laughs is like a
diseased dog's death rattle.
Four, he's a bad father.
A fat lover, a complete dead shit,
a victim, a loser, a wanker.
Number ten, Theo, what a cunt.
That wasn't the task.
Those are the things you hate.
It's not funny.
That is... that's actually quite funny.
I see so much resentment.
And defensiveness.
And inability to apologize to share your
vulnerability.
These defensities are whiny babies.
That's vulnerability.
Verbal cruelty.
In England we call that repartee.
Self-righteousness, mockery, and inability
to admit wrongs.
I don't think you have the capacity to fix
your problems.
It's terrifying how close we came to
losing each other.
Lucky us.
Lucky us.
Always helping.
Remember when we met.
Good day.
So I think this is a moment of celebration
for all of us.
I think we can be very proud of this
building.
Congratulations.
Dear God, he actually means it.
Theo, what did you say?
Sorry, I was just remembering how we got
rid of the cascading garden balconies so
that we are denying the humans who will be
living in these 700 featureless boxes the
chance to engage with fresh air,
see a horizon, or maybe decisively embrace
the moment that living in their apartments
makes them want to jump.
So really, people, when you think about
it, we saved lives.
To us.
Right.
I mean, the balcony thing is actually a
good example, Theo.
I detect a note of bitterness
about it, but we all have to grind
ourselves and our witnesses'
architects down to the office.
Sorry.
I just need a moment so I don't kill
myself in front of my colleagues.
Interesting.
How would you do it?
Do you have a very large knife,
anyone?
I do.
I'm easy to finish this, then.
I'll happily wait.
What is this?
A trap carpaccio?
Oh, wait, try me some of this.
Mmm.
Well, don't give him credit.
It's all me.
Dehydrated blackberry and anchovy.
I want to put it on there, but the chef
won't let me.
How can we live like this?
Me, no cascading garden balconies.
You, no dehydrated thingy.
Personally, I'm moving to America next
week to live free and become a chef.
Maybe I should join you.
We haven't even had sex yet.
That's an innocent way, though.
Very true.
Service!
Theo.
I do.
So weird, the toll buses.
And why are they red?
So you can see them, because it's so
foggy.
Well, it's not so foggy there anymore,
not since Jack the Ripper died.
Look, tri-tower bridge.
So this is licorice, and
this dark chocolate, this
raspberry, and this, don't
tell anyone, shrimp powder.
A fish!
A depth of flavour without the fishiness,
go to your eyes.
Gosh!
Gosh, indeed!
Look, I know it's a
museum, but it's supposed to
represent a sail on a ship,
so it should feel like that.
You should expect pirates to come round
the corner at any moment.
No, I'm joking.
Look, I want the sail.
The question you have to ask yourself is,
how do you want to live your life?
With courage or without?
Thank you, and I'll send you the numbers.
Daddy!
We're eating British icolids!
Why are we so fucking hand-powered?
Yes, of course you are.
That's your big bear, and she's so warm
and cooking.
Good.
I feel dizzy in my toes, Fizzing.
Yeah, amazing, of course.
But don't you think
it might be a bit of a
problem turning that
bloody, pretty sucrose?
Don't sugar-shame them.
But it is bad for the hour of long term,
and they will get fat.
Buddha was fat.
He was great.
He was great.
But don't learn to self-manage.
If you restrict things, it leads to weird
obsessions.
You're sick.
Ah, I do.
I see a girl learning her limits.
She doesn't learn limit-reach parenting
for money.
Oh, dear.
Well, you're fine.
Can't you just admit you're wrong?
On the day that I am, I can.
But not on the day I built your building,
soon to be the eighth wonder of the world,
here in Northern California, in Ra's
Bridge to Oak Lake.
Oh, my God.
How did you do that, Mark?
You know the way to my ego.
My God.
Isn't your mummy brilliant?
Of course she is.
That's a rhetorical question you are in
genius.
Agreed.
I sound good to go, then.
Stomach of Caligula.
You know the way to make your daddy proud.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not going to have some.
Roast, please.
Wait, wait, wait.
Roast, wait.
Ready?
I don't know.
Oh, no.
I am in genius.
Divine maniac.
We
Have the kids and the
patriarchy sound that loud, say,
squash your dreams and
facilitate children and husband.
Oh, yes, that note.
I don't know that note.
Big terse.
Quite sold this toy.
Agreed.
Well, look at this place.
It's been closed for a year.
Maybe a little bit out of the way,
but I think it's cool.
And I've got that money from the design.
For the down payment to our dream house.
No.
My darling, most days you're making seven
iconic desserts for three people.
Look, the amazing chef that you are and
have always wanted to be should not be a
dream that dies on the crucifix of family
life.
I love all that, though.
I mean, maybe for a couple of nights a
week.
Oh, I can't thank you.
I think that's a yes.
Please lie.
Oh, and I know what we're going to call
it.
You do.
Sir, we don't accept your arms.
No, we do.
It's for bed, bath, and beyond.
We do.
Oh, Geoff, we're closing work tonight for
Hattie's soccer match.
Right, of course we are.
Bye, Geoff three.
Remember that you love me.
Is he that?
I'm troubled by humanity.
Maybe it's the name.
How about we cook for Lydia?
Catchy.
So where are we meeting our wonderful
American friends?
What's up, buddy?
Good morning.
You guys are late.
This is how you lost the revolutionary.
I love her.
Finally, we got you here.
Check this out.
Let's do this, motherfucker.
I'm actually not supposed to do that.
Come on.
This is something I will never get used
to.
It'll be fun.
Oh, fuck.
Did y'all check this?
The Eagles have landed.
Hi.
Hi.
I need you to know, I am anti-gun.
I am here ironically.
I am doing this as a statement against
guns.
Do you want a Glock?
My father actually killed an intruder with
this one.
Or I have a beautiful Smith & Wesson near
the bar.
Yes, I think I'll take this black beauty
that's really killed someone.
Actually, I got you something.
In the near ten years, it was time.
I'm, uh, wow.
Oh, yeah.
That is really sweet.
You didn't tell me you were gonna do it.
I did a couple times.
Stop mumbling, baby.
Anyways, we all move guns.
Everybody's got them, so what are you
gonna do?
You're gonna defend yourself.
All right.
Careful, it's got a hair trigger.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha!
Okay, a perfect takedown is for an elbow,
right eye, in that order.
Is it into it?
Whoo-hoo, look at that!
Five shots, all in the larynx.
It makes me so happy.
Yeah, that wasn't the game I said I'm
growing first.
Oh, yeah, but I changed it to larynx and
then what?
Come on, see how it looks!
I agree!
Oh, this is my distance!
That's my thing!
It's getting away!
I mean, I really cannot wait to see this
building feel.
Sally, thank you.
It's the talk of the town.
Can feel a rose encapsulate our maritime
history and steal concrete and wood.
You know what?
I just might.
You know, that island is a historic site.
It's been mentioned.
Don't fuck up.
Has that been mentioned?
Actually, a man did shout that at us in
the street.
I thought it looked crazy beautiful in the
designs.
Thank you, baby.
Well, I thought it looked a little
half-assed and simplistic in its attempt
to render California's history in some fun
form.
No offense.
Is anyone else getting that?
None taken due to the fact that you are so
very, very wrong.
I feel that buildings should be fun and
feel temporary and chaotic and alive and
beautiful and remind us of all that humans
can and should be, at our very best.
Oh my God.
Disagree with all of that.
But, um, good luck.
I'm excited for you, Theodore.
Jesus, Rory, what's up with you?
It's okay.
It's okay.
It gets to me home.
I thought it's okay.
It's architect to architect.
If you guys will starve!
I kind of do this.
Yeah, we are excited for you, Theodore.
You know, when we worked together,
I was like, this guy.
He's gonna do something special.
How?
How did you know?
Maybe after this, you will.
To Theodore.
Here, here.
Yes, to Theodore.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What is this?
Oh, I should, I should get this.
What?
Let's get out of here.
Uh, okay.
Oh, oh, God.
Um, do you have any cricket?
That's pretty, pretty, pretty serious.
No, we will be, yeah.
We, we've got to go.
Everything okay?
Well, uh, a few years ago
in England, um, we helped
an escaped convict who
was hiding out on the moors.
We gave him food, read him sonnets.
And then he was gone.
But apparently, he's
turned up at our home here,
and he has a rucksack
full of coke and a sword.
So, we'll call you.
Well, let us know if you need help with
the coke.
No, no, no, no.
Maybe a rucksack full of coke and a sword.
Thank you for lying so badly for me.
For you, dear Ellen.
I do believe that's true.
It really is.
In the East Bay Maritime Museum,
architect Theo Rose has created a new
form, a groundbreaking
design that celebrates
those sailors who
quested into the unknown.
And as they sailed from California into
the open sea with courage and curiosity
about what was possible, well, I felt
that the building had to do the same.
There he is.
Theo!
Amazing building, buddy.
You are about to leave an indelible mark
on the earth.
Oh, man.
Thank you.
Not everyone does, you know.
Most people just push paper and have small
talk, have dull sex, leave nary a dent.
Exhale under.
What's the point?
You okay?
Yeah, I'm great.
I heard that on a podcast or something.
I was like, thank God that's not me.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, shit.
They closed the freeways and they were
finally driving down this road.
I mean, actual customers.
Shit.
That's her.
Pardon my French, but the way that the
wind catches the sail is whimsical as fuck.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
People are here.
San Francisco Chronicle food critic is
here.
That's amazing.
No.
I heard there's amazing people here's
band.
Her being here is badder.
Are you stoned?
Yeah.
Is that bending?
That you could do this?
That I disagree.
I think I might set a fire in the kitchen
and let it break into the dining room and
they'll all leave so I can't cop this,
cop this.
My darling, no review could hurt a
business that only does 30 covers a week.
It's actually a good point.
Just cook what you do for me.
I'm trying to make her fuck me.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I love you.
I believe you, but when you do,
you kill me on the way out.
We'll do it.
Okay, thank you, bye.
The shit is coming down.
It's going to be all right.
It's going to be okay.
It's a sail!
Two plays.
Heat that first and then that, squeeze
that on that, and that's all I made.
I came when I first tried it.
No consequences.
Sex drives his ass to an idiosyncratic
point.
Eat and go.
Okay.
It's going to be okay.
It's not going to fall.
Stop!
Stop!
Don't do my prank!
Don't film!
Seriously, don't film!
Come on, come on!
Theo!
Theo!
Are
you still watching that?
You've been up all night.
Stop watching that.
It's just a freak storm.
Don't say a lot.
I know.
Are you sure you're all right?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll be fine, you know.
Water off a duck's back just to bump in
the road.
Sorry, you wanted to tell me something.
I heard you yelling.
Nothing, can't recall.
Your review?
How is it?
It's not really worth reading.
Not while you're going through this.
I mean...
This is amazing.
It's just a dumb review.
It's the same thing as your thing,
my darling.
It's going to be forgotten tomorrow.
Today's news, tomorrow's fish and chips.
Is he all right?
What's he say?
He doesn't really.
It seems rude to ask.
You're his wife.
And you don't usually mind being rude.
He's crushed and
embarrassed, and I don't want
to make it worse by
making him talk about it.
I think you're mine.
That shit's coming down.
You said we could all have lunch at the
shop.
Come on, Dad.
I think you're mine.
My God.
You need to come out here.
You know what we should do?
We should have a little sing-along.
Sure?
Let's sing bananas.
Yeah, definitely.
Yes, we have no bananas.
We have no bananas today.
Oh, I know.
How about opera?
Yes, we have no bananas.
The website crashed.
We're booked out for two months.
No, I'm so sorry.
We could open for more than three days a
week.
Okay, fine.
I am just seated everywhere like I am a
stripper and a convention is in town.
Service, gym three, honey.
Hello,
P.M.
Hi, P. Hi, boss.
How are you doing?
Yes, thank God no one was hurt.
Are you okay?
No, I'm okay.
I'm bounced back.
And not with us, you won't.
I told you that dumb ass sale on top of
the building was dangerous.
The engineers are blaming you.
Someone's got to go down for this.
Personally, I feel for you.
I mean, some people will be suicidal.
Are you dead?
What?
No.
What's suicidal?
He's gonna kill himself.
Because it's a building?
Shit, are you with your kids?
Look, I don't listen to what he said,
okay?
Alright?
I'm fine.
It is just a building.
I don't even care.
Is that where you fell down?
Because you didn't care?
No, I fucking gave my life blood to him
and it was everything to me.
The fucking hell!
Is he killing himself?
I can't see him.
Hey!
Wow, look at this place.
Why are you dirty?
I'm missing clumps of air.
Am I that strange?
Oh, I had the car window.
Strong wind.
That fired, actually.
And he's suicidal.
Like, I'm like an orphan.
No, you'd still have me fired.
You're very busy.
We'll sit down and eat.
Now I'll look for a new job.
Are you alright?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I mean, it's like my grandma said life's
cruel.
Maybe she really wants
you for who you are and then
you die in pain, seeking
solace that will never come.
So, you know, maybe my expectations are
too high.
Oh, God.
Do you still have the granies?
And is there a limit on how many women can
drink?
Go sit down.
Go sit down.
I'm winning.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah, huh?
Told you.
Hi.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
They love you.
Oh, good.
Oh, I think it's great.
Are you okay?
Are you really fine?
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
Yes, well, no point dwelling
on that when you are
a huge hit and you
should be dwelling on that.
You needed a rest anyway.
Oh, I'm going to get one because no-one's
going to harm you for a long time.
I could open more often because the phones
are going crazy.
I could do this and pay the bills for a
bit.
Just a bit.
And you can't, you can't look after kids.
I could build children instead of houses.
I now have three now.
Yep, I'll enjoy it.
I'm going to get arrested soon.
We just did for a little while.
It's not forever.
Maybe I've been resisting my genius for
too long.
I've always said that.
No-one can defeat us yet.
I've always said that too.
Are you in charge?
Hi, I'm Lee, and you're the staff.
So I'm not a very high or radical person,
so really.
Be good.
Okay, dismissed.
But I thought I was inspiring.
Like Obama was in the room.
Hello, children.
Daddy's here.
I am facilitating people, and that is the
service.
And there is joy in service.
There is not joy in that.
I have a proper expectation for myself.
The endless need to be the narcissistic
center of my own medieval.
The me-me-me-me-me-don't-comical of it
all.
I'm building my genius, my career,
my self-worth.
What is this?
That's very cheap.
It has its classes, man.
It's a blind giant dancing, is what it is.
It's a climate crisis, a dying,
raked earth, inequality-tracked housing,
endless fucking growth, and a cupcake,
many missions.
You wouldn't be part of that, you toxic
fucking male, when your
testosterone-filled ambition makes poison
come jizzy in the face of humanity.
No.
No, I do not.
Is he okay?
I think it helps him.
I want to be part of the change.
We are going to be just fine.
No.
More than fine.
Winch bits, go.
Left hand, my little ones.
I need lemons.
Someone get me some lemons.
And there is still dishes on the part.
And I'm swag-sing into my eyeballs.
Change!
Sorry.
Obviously I applaud your passion.
You should know it could lead to marriage
in children.
There's probably some hygiene by-law about
this.
Just touch nothing else but each other.
Okay.
As you were.
Let's carry on.
Well done.
Mama's mama had a good lunch.
She got 134 covers.
You are a big fucking success.
I really am.
You are.
I'm gonna need bigger shorts.
More people, more money.
Did you just hold the wine, please?
Did you do a photo shoot in New York,
Maxine?
Nude.
I don't think so.
We'll do it anyway.
Now I need to go and collapse.
Alright, Mama.
Oh, I've missed you.
Look what I've got.
Chocolate and black cream around ice
cream?
That one is.
We can.
No way.
What?
We signed a contract with Dad.
It's more of a commitment than a contract.
That's true.
Right.
Let's eat these while we discuss the
ridiculousness of that.
He said she'd do this.
We just politely decline.
We politely decline.
You made them sign a contract?
More of a commitment.
They're kids.
They should be having fun.
Well, working towards a girl is fun.
No.
Ice cream sandwiches at midnight is fun.
Not when it's the enemy of the girl.
You can't beat the Medidank submission to
quote Bukowski.
You're reading Bukowski to them,
by the way.
They don't know what the fuck that means.
They should be reading Harry Potter or Dr.
Fucking Seuss.
You seem to have a touch overwrought.
I didn't think I'd have to fight for the
well-being of my children.
I thought I could trust you to mold them
in a kind and fucking nurturing way.
Okay.
Kids!
Hi.
You really don't have to keep doing this.
It's okay, guys.
We signed a contract.
It's more of a commitment.
Yeah, but you don't have to.
But then what's the point of making it?
What does that teach us?
I mean, that's a fucking bad lesson.
Whoa!
Where's the F1 coming from?
I just wrote you ran him in on Dad,
and honestly, it sounded fucking cool.
No, it fucking... No, it didn't.
Get back to that shit.
Nice, Ernie.
I'm going to bed.
I suppose the whole sex thing's off the
table.
Yeah.
Well-intuited.
How about a three-hour circular argument
that goes nowhere?
Funny.
Look, I'm sorry.
I should have told you.
They just have different ways with them.
I miss them.
Well, I could get them
to run to the shack
tomorrow that you do
with a 12-mile hit out.
Oh, my God.
They weirdly quite like it.
Okay, sex.
But get me off first, so that I can sleep.
Oh, you and your honey words.
Occasionally, they might sprout
wings and reveal themselves
to the exit, and then we
fly back to the Harry Potter.
Is David Chan really coming?
I think so, yeah.
Oh, God.
It's like a plague.
Can you show me when you find some?
How did they die?
Well, the conditioner stuns them,
and then I take them off the comb,
and I break their backs.
That is awesome.
Hello?
Hi.
Guess where I am?
Outside, because it's your
turn to look after the kids
and help them with their
homework and love and eye.
Not even close.
I'm on a check to L.A.
with David Chan.
We get to post this interview and say,
fuck it, let's go to L.A.
and have dinner with Nancy's help at home.
Right.
Amazing.
Isn't it?
Just some ham on and more champagne for
me, please.
And in the morning, we're going to Malibu
to catch a fish and grow on the beach.
It'll be on my Instagram.
Be sure to look out for it, so you're
coming home when tomorrow?
Yeah, I know.
I should have run and asked.
And then I thought, ask what for
permission?
Because we just want to be the couple who
love each other and allow each other to
grasp the chances life gives us,
do we not?
Yes, rhetorical and entrapment.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no.
Of course we do, yeah.
Sorry, darling, how was your day?
How were the kids?
Well, the nearest dog sat in the laundry.
The kids have got knits.
Now my left eye is twitching, because I'm
so freaking tired.
Sorry, darling, what did you say?
Oh, no, nothing.
Nothing.
You go, have fun.
I love you in your big, generous heart.
Why are you so cross at her?
Because I'm dick.
Hey, my darling.
Hey there.
Hello.
What a night.
I had so much fun.
I can't remember the last time I had fun.
Right, that's awesome fun.
Amazing people to talk to, people who do
stuff, you know.
Think stuff, amazing stuff.
Just out in the world doing stuff.
Really?
Was that a tone?
No, it's just washing that I spent an hour
on.
I thought about shagging you all the way
back from the airport.
Good, indeed, yes.
It's just...
I'm working my ass off.
Really?
You want to do that instead of do me?
Please, I also work hard.
And I appreciate it.
Do you?
Yes, I do.
Did you say I appreciate it when I said I
had been working my ass off?
No, so the question becomes, do you?
Yes, I appreciate it, darling.
Hmm, it seemed a
little lackluster, like, I
don't know, maybe
you were forced into it.
I had fun.
That's all.
Do you begrudge me that?
Glad you had fun.
Fucking awesome.
I've got you these.
You went to Bob's?
Yeah.
An hour and a half out of my way through
LA rush hour to get you Bob's donuts.
Oh, shit.
Thoughtless of me, I know.
What a bitch.
This is a massive fucking victory for you,
isn't it?
Oh, I fucking know it.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's because I was jealous and I was
begrudging your fun, which is not cool,
not sexy.
Hmm, it was okay.
Eat a buttercup and then we're going to
have some sugarcrustic sex.
Oh, is that fine?
I know it's yours.
It's Jane.
She said, did you get the Bob's donuts?
That donut ice cream idea is brilliant.
Let's test kitchen it at 10am.
Kiss, kiss.
Yeah.
Well, no, it's because they're for you.
But the first idea was you and then the
second idea was the ice cream idea.
For sure.
42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49,
Oh, I like their bling.
They literally never take them off.
Why would you?
You're state champions.
Rebel in the glory, I say.
We are!
One day, the glory will end, however.
The work goes on!
I gotta say, you guys don't seem great.
Yeah, very discordant energy is here.
Right?
Yeah, right.
That was intuitive, Barry.
Thanks, Barry.
That was good.
So, how bad is it, E.L.?
Well, it's... I mean, it's great.
You know, Shaq's a monster success in that
the kids are killing it.
They won't actually let
themselves stop a workout
until they're dizzy and
throwing up, so that's...
Yeah.
And I'm actually... I'm really loving it.
Yeah.
But you are still a failure.
Women don't like that.
I sense trouble, Sam.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you need a shoulder or an
inner thigh to lean on... Yeah.
What?
Bear, I'm kidding.
Ivy and I are just fine.
Oh.
It's intense, right?
How did they... I didn't know.
So, is everything okay?
Yeah.
Oh, why?
It just seems an undercurrent and
discontent between you.
Oh.
You could float a boat in that current.
What?
Really?
Well, I'm so busy, I'm just... Ivy, you
must cherish and nourish a relationship.
Don't you blow random truck drivers in our
car park.
And for that ten minutes, I cherish and I
nourish them.
We're fine.
Everybody seems to
think... We hate each other.
Undercurrent and discontent was the
phrase, but...
Yes.
Crazy.
I suppose sometimes I do hate you.
Well, then... No, seriously.
What?
Don't you have that when your whole body is
seized by dizzying waves of fucking hatred?
Jesus.
Really?
You don't have that.
I thought we all did.
Marry people.
And, you know, you just have to let it go.
And it'll pass like a wave crashes
somewhere on a beach in the Pacific.
I mean, put aside taking it personally.
Put aside the dizzying hatred you have for
me.
Sporadic dizzying hatred.
You really don't feel like that about me
at all?
Well, I... the other day I did think if
Charles Manson invited me on a picnic,
and if you invited me on a picnic,
I'd go with Charlie.
Charles Manson.
Yeah, Charles Manson on a good day.
What, jamming with the Beach Boys Day as
opposed to plotting a murderous rampage day?
Don't take it personally.
Manson?
Yeah, you're right.
I think we both have it.
Right.
Do you think we should try and find out
why we have it?
I don't know if it's normal, though.
No.
It's work.
It's too much work.
And kids.
I mean, I love them, but they are draining
the marrow of my fucking soul.
And I... I still love us.
Oh, I hate everyone but us.
Me too.
I miss you.
I miss you.
We should do something.
Is it run away?
No kids.
No work.
No?
New York.
Just you and me.
I feel giddy at the thought of it.
Jesus.
I'm so tired.
Hmm.
Sleep.
No, I want to be with you.
Sleep.
Oh, no.
I've got you.
Fear.
Hi.
Oh, Sally.
How are you?
I am really good.
Thank you.
Yes.
How are you?
Amazing.
I'm just designing this
psychotic new campus
for one of the tech
firms in Silicon Valley.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's great.
Yeah.
You?
A freelancing.
That's cool.
Oh my God.
That fucking video.
It's not going to fall.
It's not going to fall.
I'm so funny.
So long ago, I've actually forgotten about
it.
I think most people have.
One has been.
I mean, not in our business.
I know about you.
Check yourself.
Do you want to know the budget?
Sure, sure.
I can't tell you.
Fuck.
You're all right in there.
Hello there.
I'd like two scotches, please.
Oh, I heard a noise.
Was there a noise?
Are we in danger?
No, I... I'm going to release.
So, two scotches.
Should I wake her?
In a thoughtful marriage, a good partner
drinks the others drink while they sleep.
As will I.
Come, please.
Fuck!
Sir, I'm going to have to walk up all the
lines.
You stole my joints and then threw them in
the trash.
I was just doing my job.
Your job is not to make things disappear.
Jesus, here.
How drunk are you?
Jesus yourself.
Drunk, actually.
You see?
Told you.
Oh, thank God.
Have you got a taser?
How's the hangover?
Uh, distracting me from the humiliation.
Sorry about all that.
It's fine.
Dilla's not for a few hours.
Ollie Daboo saw my
Instagram and has invited me
to his pop-up, and
then Dilla's not too late.
Oh.
I'd love it if you came.
You, you go, darling.
There's so much fun, so it would be fun,
not work.
I think I'm going to
just, you know, catch up
with a golf school that I
don't really care about.
Look, I'll be fine.
Have fun.
I'll see you at dinner.
Okay.
Bye, Dilla.
You've got some lovely fucking buildings.
Good for you.
See your knees.
The doors.
See you.
Hey.
I'd like to throw some hits.
People go down.
Some get up and some don't,
and that's when you suddenly
go, shit, I've got one of
the ones that don't get up.
I do get up.
For our children in the middle of the
night and in the morning.
Oh, no, I ain't going to bitch about it.
It's just a comment.
I'm going to be sick.
Four more.
Anyway, I don't want to make a deal of it.
But I am fucking done having it running in
the back of our lives.
You failed, so I didn't get over it,
or we're on top of it.
Okay, we'll do.
I'm just going to lie down here.
Yeah, you do that.
I'll try to resist dropping something
heavy on you.
Fuckhead, an idiot.
I may just go and apologize.
Drop the video.
I mean, it's a lot of pressure and
slightly unrealistic to expect a person to
perfectly articulate their thoughts in a
measured way in a long marriage.
Is that a story?
Yes, and also a philosophical music.
I'm sorry, I wouldn't talk anymore.
I'll send the picture.
Do these kids have any picture clothes?
I love these.
Dream house.
Thank you.
Maybe we should switch back.
We always intended to.
You know, I'll go back to work,
and you can go back to what you always
loved doing, cooking
for eleven people in an
evening and smoking
joints, but at the sea.
Can you get a job?
Well... I mean, in a neutral,
information-seeking way.
Well, I'd have to start at the bottom
again, I guess.
I can't bear the
thought of it, but I will, I
must, because that is
what I was meant to do.
By the way, I met someone in
New York who wants to become an
equity partner and open more
restaurants like David Chang.
Ah, yeah.
See, you don't want to swap back.
As feminists, I can't.
And as someone who loves their job and is
addicted to public adoration, I can't.
Right.
So, I need this, and you need that.
So, someone has to
sacrifice themselves on the
altar of the marriage,
but who's it going to be?
Unless, oh my God, did you love that
pregnant pause?
I wasn't sure if you were going to give
it.
What are you going to give it?
Well, no, best not to answer.
So, I've seen something which I think
might help us.
Come on.
Lady there.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's stop there.
Okay, look.
Wow.
I want you to build us the most amazing
house ever.
Here?
Now?
What about my ego
death and my shitty job, and
then slowly working back
and having my redemption?
What about showing the world you're a
genius?
And you that I'm not a failure?
You were born to build things.
Can we afford this?
If I do my expansion, we can.
Ivy, this is...
Go on, say it.
I think I heard it.
Wow!
This is going to be amazing.
Ivy gave you your balls back.
It does feel like a second chance.
You know, when I was 29, I was diagnosed
with an autoimmune disorder.
Oh, yeah.
It's awful.
I've lost my mind.
I was acting out sexually.
Babe, we've talked about this.
Chronic yeast infections are not an
autoimmune disorder.
Well, it's still stung there.
The point is, Theo,
it's as if you're going to
reset everything, nail
it, live happily ever after.
I just want to make something worthy of
Ivy, you know?
So she knows that I wasn't a massive
fucking mistake.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Come here.
Oh, sweetheart.
Oh, what is that?
Oh, thank you.
Oh.
Uh, this thing seems to be de-raising from
hot territory.
We're opening the marriage.
Hey, that's still under negotiation,
knucklehead.
Oh.
Babe?
Oh.
Babe?
Babe?
Just at the house.
When do we open Chicago again?
You have a call.
We come at four.
Also, I'm sending you this week's house
bill.
And if I may provide personal
commentary...
Fuck, man.
You have to rein him in.
But I want him to have his shot,
I mean.
Oh, fuck!
Exactly.
28 grand for that Irish mask, Theo.
Yeah, through the west side roof.
Does America not have masks?
Well, the green of the Irish mask is
something to behold.
The green it takes to pay for the Irish
mask is also something to behold.
We need it.
It is integral for the vision.
Do you understand that we do not have
unlimited money?
Did I show you the dream close in the last
case of the Kinchel idea?
That's me.
Oh, my God.
Why are you coming?
I mean, which of these three tiles do you
like to look off?
They're to go behind the
wood burner, so... I love it.
But there are three of them which did...
which it... Yeah, there are seven of them.
You didn't even look at them.
What?
And I'm trying to talk to you and you're
picking up the phone.
Hi, yeah, I just told Flora, budget
figures are in.
Oh, budget figures, yeah.
While you're on budgetary figures,
please will you add in that I bought us a
table from a 15th century Spanish
monastery.
It actually has a dagger embedded in it
from the Spanish Inquisition.
It's pricey, but I think it's essential.
I don't like the living room.
Jaime!
Just joking.
Jesus Christ, Ivy.
You are a fucking child sometimes.
Mum, Dad?
Do we have any milk?
Yes, I was supposed to.
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Hello!
Mum?
I'm coming too!
Okay, great.
Mum, we're doing 2K interval one sprints.
Also news.
I had my first period yesterday.
Oh, my darling, were you all right?
I was in a white bathing suit at a whole
party.
It was mortifying.
You stared, I cried.
Why didn't you call me?
I called Dad.
He was the best.
What?
I'm the best.
How did you know what to do?
Oh, intuitive parenting.
He Googled it.
All right, you two.
And go!
Can't believe that about her period.
It was intense.
She was a rep, poor thing.
I wish I'd been there.
You never are, are you?
Shut your stupid, stupid mouth.
Dad!
You coming?
No.
Hey, Mum.
Hello, darling.
You look beautiful.
Chloe.
This woman.
What were you doing?
Free climbing places to build my life
muscles in general focus.
You avoiding Dad?
No, of course not.
Just having a little moment.
You two need help.
Ridiculous.
I think.
Time for your protein, boss.
Don't tell your mum.
Don't tell your mum.
I'm sending you.
Arms down here.
Traitor.
Sorry.
I still love you, then.
I love you too.
Do you ever feel that we're trapped in
something?
We've created this
overly complicated
endlessly-wearing machine
that we can't get out of.
What if we just dropped it all,
got a van and drove round South America?
Yeah, well, you'd have a hard time
convincing them.
They're aiming for those scholarships in
Miami.
That's what I mean.
They're 13 and suddenly they want to leave
home.
They were six last time I looked.
Okay, just tired.
We're in the hard bed.
Well, good, because if this is the easy
bit, smother me with a pillow.
Said a little too quickly for my liking.
Complete dead shit.
A victim, a loser, a wanker.
Number 10.
Theo, what a cunt.
That wasn't a task.
I see so much resentment.
Self-righteousness, mockery and inability
to admit wrongs.
I don't think you have the capacity to fix
your problems.
Are you actually allowed to say that?
That seems unprofessional.
Yeah, it's like mild practice.
No, I hope you're expecting a hefty
discount.
Time's up.
Oh, really?
Well, that was not while I lasted.
I do still expect my parking to be
validated.
How outrageous.
Absolute fraud.
Your list was blessed, by the way.
Darling, you're the second best.
We could be nicer.
I could be.
Me too.
Let's try.
Dad, we got in!
What did I mean?
We both got in!
We got in!
Oh, shit!
Oh, my little GBI.
Yes, yes!
Let's have some pancakes to celebrate.
We did it!
The work goes on!
Are you sure?
Bring it in, gentlemen.
Oh, how are you?
We'll call you guys when we get there.
Yes, please do.
Yes, please.
Don't forget to do that stretching regime
I told you after you got off the plane,
please.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Love you.
Love you.
Bye, love you.
Oh, thank God, they've gone.
That was hasty.
Yes?
I forgot.
Can you, um, walk me through the nutrition
thing again?
Yes, yes.
Nutrition is, of course.
Um, well, you know, it's a little bit like
being a rabbit at a Las Vegas buffet.
You want to be hitting the salad bar
first, yes?
Correct?
Yes, I mean...
So, you think like a rabbit, you've got
some vegetables in it.
So, you've got to be very careful about
your blood sugar spikes.
Yeah, Jane, let's open another restaurant.
Like the bar, please, how?
Turn up the music, find the sound.
Oh, that looks great.
Do you want to check mine?
No, thank you.
I've been making out with my Negroni.
I think I'll stick to them.
Car approaches.
Silver Howdy.
Two guests.
Still freaky, how does that?
Thanks, ma'am.
How?
Do you want to Negroni?
I don't have one.
Four knees.
Marry me.
Honey.
Negroni?
I don't have one.
Blue, pressed at the house, maybe the raw
ocean.
I love how the living
area provides this
kind of gravitational
center of the ensemble.
You guys are saying words, but you know
they don't mean anything, right?
You got a shot at your vision,
the only name thing.
I never thought watching a white man
reclaim his power could be so over.
How are you?
So great.
The house is just... it's so beautiful.
He's a fucking genius.
Why is this stove old and kind of crappy?
It's not.
It's Julia Child's original stove from
France.
I bought it at auction.
Stop it.
It's fragile beauty.
That is incredible.
Julia Child.
Yeah.
She's dead, right?
And wife was kind of mean?
No.
You should probably go and join the others
because I'm shaving fennel and it takes a
high degree of concentration up to just
shred my wrists into the sun.
Don't you ever just want to let go?
Well, that's why the English invented
repressing one's feet.
You're so dry.
Only when my husband looks at me.
Are you going yet?
I close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Love you, baby girl.
This would be a cool place to suicide
from.
So pretty.
I'm going back inside.
I want to see how the wall asserts itself
with such clarity into this space.
Well, my friend, you have made what I like
to call a very adequate house.
I am flooded.
Sorry to gush.
The fact that you'll
now be sad every time
you walk into your own
room is enough for me.
That was the case long before you built
this.
Speaking of, how's married life?
It's fine.
Why aren't that bad, huh?
I was hoping the house would be healing in
its quietly adequate way.
How long does that fucking stove feel?
Just ignore the fucking stove.
Seems a little passive-aggressive,
no?
All this beauty she gets that bitch Julia
Child's stove in there?
Sometimes a stove is just a stove.
The stove sounds bad.
It's fine.
Hey, baby.
Can you get me a Negroni?
You already have a Negroni.
That's why God gave me two hands.
I thought it was so you could give me a
hand job while enjoying a Negroni.
Oh?
Obviously I'm joking.
She's sickened by the side of my naked
body.
I fucking adore you.
Is it fair?
These people.
Wait.
Okay, please say it again.
Every morning you'd
order a tub of whiskey
and four kippers and
be pieced to the star.
Oh my God, I love this.
Is kipper a kind of sex act?
If you're a Tory MP, absolutely.
I don't know what that means.
Who bears salad just sounds so good.
All this time I'm still falling for that
little accent.
It does something to my... cunt?
Sorry, are you not going to say cunt?
One steak.
Do it.
Dinner!
Let's eat.
Another Negroni?
What's my point?
Too subtle for someone who's had four
Negronis.
Can I point out the gorgeous wooden
elephant in the room?
I love this table.
I mean, come on.
It's 15th century from a Spanish
monastery.
And apparently that dagger was used in the
Spanish Inquisition.
How cool is that?
This was likely covered in a tortured
heretic's blood.
Do you just wake up beaming Ivy?
I really do.
We are very lucky.
So much to be grateful for.
It is to this amazing house and to you,
my darling.
No, to you.
No, to you.
No.
To you.
You guys are so cute.
Like a sack of kittens.
Near a rushing river.
I don't like that.
Thank you, Ivy, for making all of this
possible.
He sounds sarcastic, but he doesn't
actually mean it.
Yes, just the accent.
The accent is confusing.
Sometimes Ivy's mad at me and I can't even
tell.
Sometimes he's got his cockamoo and I
can't even tell.
All right, now the dinner is getting fun.
So Ivy, do one of you do a shot of this
with a scallop?
Yeah, it's some Japanese vodka infused
with tarragon.
So that's a bit of bitterness.
Ivy likes to eat a little bit of herself
in everything she does.
I love this fun banter you guys do.
We should try it selling.
Come on.
Okay, why don't you
try not fucking mean the
ass while you choke me
sometimes shit, brother?
You're tight.
Poor.
That kind of thing.
That is so cool.
Is that what you guys are doing,
right?
I'm not the expert, Ivy.
This is why I don't have friends.
You know, you got to get Architectural
Digest up here, right?
Thank you, Sally.
I'm not so sure I'm into public
approbation.
Any more?
Sure.
The kids have been gone for a while now,
huh?
How has that been?
Hard?
Brutal?
Liberating?
Your kids are college age already?
Oh, no, no, no.
They just happen to be very gifted
physically, and they won these
scholarships to this school in Miami for
high-performance athletes.
At 13?
Wow.
What is it?
It's their dream.
Is it?
I think I know how you feel.
Because when we hired that surrogate,
and she got pregnant, and then she ate
sushi from an airport, and we had to let
her go.
It was very dark.
I got shingles.
I got monkey packs.
Oh, the grief I felt.
Yeah, it's still pretty roll for me.
I hear you, baby girl.
So, is that nine restaurants you guys have
now?
We are an empire.
And she won the James Beard Award.
Yes.
Just like a food Oscar.
It's all true.
Sure.
I think we've been
lucky we found a niche
in the market, upscale
but not intimidating.
So it sort of hits a range of
demographics.
We want to move into the south.
Like Sherman's march with lobster bibs.
Sorry, darling.
Was the attention off you for a minute?
Did you start to wilt?
I think the guests are wilting,
my darling.
Due to the droning nature of your caustic
narcissism.
They're doing it again, and I love it.
Hey, fuck-sticked bitch,
fill my glass the way
you can't fill my pussy
with your tiny dick.
Whoa.
I see my pantry.
That just seems mean to me.
Cry like a baby like you did when our dog
died, dickhead.
What the fuck?
I am an empath, and I'm having a hard time
at this table.
Can you not?
Amy's allergic to weed.
I'm allergic to Amy, literally.
Rush on my finger.
Funny, can we just be nice, please?
You're drunk, and you're being,
erm...
divided, divided in one word, a bit of a
bitch.
Of course, darling.
We've done something amazing here.
Let's celebrate it.
Any dessert?
How?
Play napalm death.
Amy, she's all out.
I'm going to leave some long pauses in the
conversation for you to insert an apology.
For what, darling?
You embarrassed yourself.
Sorry you feel that way.
I did it for you, darling.
You were an appalling,
needy ball, and I created
a diversion, lest they
should think ill of you.
I shall insert some pauses for you to
thank me.
You just can't say sorry, can you?
I did, I said I'm sorry you feel that way.
That's not sorry.
What sentence literally obtains the word
sorry?
You can't say sorry with feeling,
with acknowledgement, for pain caused,
or damage done.
Jesus, I'm not fucking Ian McKellen.
I'm so sorry.
My deepest regrets are...
Yeah, well, untouched.
Did you try the cake?
Jesus, Theo, it's no big deal.
I got drunk at dinner.
You stole my fucking children from me,
and now they're gone.
You expect me to be happy about that?
I did not steal our children, but I did
bring them up.
You taught them how to be sweaty robots.
They can only talk
about reps, or sodium
levels, or some shit,
and now they're gone.
Yeah, well, you should
have thought about that when
you were off to work building
your fucking empire, i.e.
a shrine to yourself.
I did that to pay for this.
Your shrine to yourself.
It was meant to be ours, but it became
yours.
Well, that is bullshit, because I was
prepared to work my way up again,
and you bribed me with this
house to serve the Ivy Show,
and you can't even see
what I did for the children.
The doctor's appointments, the dentist's
appointments, the dermatologist's...
Who went to the dermatologist's?
Fuck, seriously?
Yeah, no, I remember the thing.
The thing?
What thing?
Whose thing?
The thing that's getting related that...
Who's who?
Who had an Ivy?
I mean, there's just two of them.
You've got a 50-50 chance.
Why?
I'm afraid you're out of the game,
madam.
Has he?
Cracked and bleeding eczema on her toes.
Yes, sir.
What is happening?
Have you lost your footing
on the cliff of resentment
as you realise there
is no factual basis to it?
I would have loved to have been the one
that did that is my point.
You know why I can't say sorry?
Enlighten me.
Because you need it too much.
You need sorry and praise and attention
and pro jobs and Italian furniture,
and I was fucking lost on the fucking
roof!
You're a bottomless pitot need!
Yeah, well, you're right.
I am?
Yeah.
What do you mean I'm right?
I do need a connection.
An exchange of intimacy and the flawed
nature of who I am validated as I journey
through this life, hoping that one person
might see me, love me and hold me.
Oh, I see.
You're the wise philosopher and I'm the
bitch.
Exactly.
And I'm out.
The victor.
Theo, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sad.
It just follows me out.
I feel like I've missed half their lives.
And I don't know what to do without them.
I just, I think I just want you to give me
a hug or something pathetic like that.
Morning.
I think I might just go for a run.
You're in the wrong place, buddy.
Are you dead?
Stop!
Theo.
Yeah, fine.
Just going to shower.
Hey, Jane.
You did what?
You saved the whale.
I wasn't alone.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're angry because you hate whales?
You didn't tell me.
No.
Why not?
You look busy.
Oh, don't play that card.
I asked you how was your run and you said,
fine.
No, fine.
I saved a whale.
Just tell me why you didn't tell me.
Didn't want you to ruin it.
How would I ruin it?
Because you don't take
anything seriously and
it was serious and
actually quite spiritual.
Try me.
I can be deeply spiritual.
I masturbate to Deepak Chopra meditations.
You proved my point.
Oh, please.
I know I can be a bit of an arse but give
me a chance.
Well...
I had my hands on this beautiful creature
and it was like we were communicating.
So I was standing in the water with the
whale surrounded by these people.
It just felt like everything was one.
Us, the whale, the sea...
and something deep in our core.
And it was beautiful.
And then I was still standing there.
I was deep in the water watching him swim
away.
I started crying just because he waited
for me.
I just was happy.
You cried.
That's beautiful.
And then this question rose up inside me.
What was it?
This is amazing.
This is so you.
It was like the old you.
It was... you only have one life.
So why the fuck are you with Ivy?
Jesus.
I don't mean to be mean.
I've been trying to push
it away because I don't
want to ask the question
but I know the answer.
I have to go to somewhere where you're not
talking.
We're done Ivy.
I ain't fucking saying that we're done.
Fuck you and your suicidal attention
seeking whale friend.
I'm being serious.
We are done.
Look at us.
Fine, we're done but we're done because I
decided it.
Not you.
You are a good lawyer, right?
Yeah.
Mostly real estate but divorce is mostly
about real estate.
You've never done this?
Not exactly but they're pretty much all
the same.
Relax.
It's a sad name.
How do you and Amy make it work?
I don't know.
Inertia?
What?
I thought you guys were good.
No, we are.
We're good.
And it's like when we were
young it was like I knew
what she was going to
say before she even said it.
And now, sometimes I don't know what she
said even after she says it.
Right?
But, you know, I love her.
So, there's that.
Alright, let's win this thing.
Yes.
Don't talk.
For an upset?
Sorry, what is happening?
Eleanor, you cannot bring in the dog.
It's my emotional support animal.
It's a dangerous dog.
Only when it feels unthreatened.
It's a bullshit tactic and you know it.
Isn't this a bit of a weird clich, you
know, the ferocious divorce life thing?
Ivy, is this him?
Yeah, this is him.
My name's Theo.
Well, this is a personal aside,
but the fact she ever let you fuck her
should be enough for her to claim every
dollar.
Wow, Jesus.
Okay, let me lay it out before this punts
bores me to death.
She has been living and
supporting this bottom-feeding piece
of shit, carrying his endless
fucking failures and needy.
Mommy, help me anguish for 15 years.
So just agree, you'll fuck off now.
We'll never see you again and she'll throw
you a hundred grand.
Okay.
My thoughts.
How about we take 25% of the restaurants
and the house and we'll be good.
Okay, look, I just want the house.
Don't talk.
Okay, well, that seems like in our
ballpark.
Okay, my client designed and built that
award-winning fucking house that your
sociopathic whorehole of a client now
claims has hurt.
I thought the lawyers were being mean.
Is that... no?
It's part of the theater.
Please don't talk.
It's very undermining.
Let's be a little bit more British about
this polite cut.
He's rational.
Yes, it's not like it's
in our blood to pillage
murder and enslave other
cultures to get what we want.
Don't talk.
Okay, we want everything.
The end.
That's not negotiating.
No, it's winning.
A hundred grand and he walks out of here
with his face still attached.
Right, Bruno?
You can't leave the house alive.
I designed it.
I built it.
That's all I want.
You can have everything.
Everything else.
I take the house, we walk out of here,
firm handshake and get on with our lives.
We'll take it.
No.
No.
You want the divorce.
I want the house.
We are winning here.
You get the company.
Buy a new house.
I can hear what they're saying.
Okay, we get the house too.
The end.
No!
No deal!
Bruno spit and shut up!
So what?
We're nowhere.
Looks like it.
Oh, Barry, are you namely going to the
Harvest Moon Festival?
Oh, yeah.
You can be loves it.
I do too.
It's a little bit too much
tribal drumming for
me because I have
tinnitus, but we'll be there.
Good.
So can we please focus on this?
Alright, fine.
Yes.
But I'm speaking as your friend now.
Maybe rethink this, guys.
I mean, I know a lot has gone down,
but you're great.
And you're great together.
I mean, sure, some days it
feels horrible and you want to
skin each other alive, but
some days it doesn't, right?
It's nice to have someone.
My advice would be, try to focus on those
days.
Nod when you want to shake your head and
just say, what the fuck?
And always think of other people when you
have sex.
That's standard.
You can make it.
Well, that was just lovely, Barry.
We're still getting the fucking house.
Let's go, Ivy.
Hello.
I will pick you apart until you beg me to
take this house.
Well, I can endure a lot of misery.
That's proven.
You have no idea how nice I've been to
you, mister.
I'm getting the house, Ivy.
I designed it and I built it.
And I paid for it.
Your Cookbooks.
Oh, this is a 1907 first edition of
Escoffier French Wanker Cookbook.
This one I've covered in brownies.
I think the correct time is Flamb.
Incoming call from Hattie and Roy.
Have you told them?
It's not that hard.
Me neither.
Answer.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
Hi.
Hey, we hear you're getting divorced.
How?
Barry's Instagram.
We're so happy for you.
You what?
We've dreamed about this.
We just want to say we admire your courage
to release each other from the nightmarish
death spiral that you've been in for the
past decade.
Uh, got it on.
Literally.
Though he's okay.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
What's his start?
Oh, I'm burning your brain, Moss.
Lovely colours, Mom.
You wouldn't get that from American Moss.
Hey, Hal.
Hey, Polka.
Full volume on Lupin Room 14.
No Ivy override.
Get it out!
What's Dora's room for?
Wow, turn it out!
For five hours.
No volume down, Hal.
Ivy, here's an agreement giving me the
house.
Please sign it.
Full volume, please, Hal.
Sorry, darling.
I can't hear you.
Amy?
Hi.
You okay?
Um... Barry was great.
You guys are trying to destroy each other.
If necessary, I'm hoping she'll see a
reason when her ears start bleeding.
Gotta check your energy.
Excuse me.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry.
Oh, that's very dark, Theo.
Very dark.
I need it, Amy.
I am getting the house.
But what's a house compared to the house
that has our bodies?
Maybe you gotta drive to Mexico with a
friend.
And we take peyote.
We drink tequila.
And we rub, and we rob.
And then we get taco after taco after
taco.
Muy caliente.
Okay.
Thank you for the kind offer.
I live confused metaphor, but I am not
leaving my house.
Would you really just up and leave Barry?
Leave Barry?
No, no, no.
I'm looking for one night a strange,
okay?
So that I can forget that I'm 40 whatever,
and my face is melting off.
And my organs are probably growing up a
stage four something as we speak.
But I know who I want driving me a chemo,
and that's my big dumb, stupid husband,
Barry.
Anyway, call me when you get rational.
Apple, it's Ivy.
Yes, Ivy.
You have no color to choose.
Oh, fuck.
All our fish orders are cancelled for the
entire chain across the country.
My diary is blank for today, every day.
Um, why don't we order two tons of cheese
visit and four tons of marshmallow?
Fuck out.
It's exciting.
Whatever it is, imagine this.
Oh, good.
You're awake.
Look, I've been teaching myself AI.
It's you.
Let me tell you a funny, funny secret.
Is that a crack pipe?
It's called Deep Fake.
Isn't it fun?
Also the end of Western civilization.
Ivy, what are you doing with it?
Is that mine?
Your phone.
Yeah, well, I'm going to send this to all
of your clients.
Captured.
Smoke the truth, bitches.
Unless you sign the house over to me now.
Funny.
You... Oh, don't go home.
Oh, fuck.
You look cute when beaten.
Hey, how are you doing?
Thank you all so much.
Hi, thank you so much.
So nice to see you.
Hi, Ivy.
Every winter, I get this walk between my
toes.
It's fucking brilliant when grated into
your raccoon.
Add in the simple mushroom.
Shroom, shroom, shroom, shroom,
shrooms.
Sign the fucking papers, Ivy, or it will
never end.
Jesus, no.
And the mole.
Well, it's brown.
Always, go.
No, don't go.
Why are you doing these mushrooms?
Everybody.
Restaurant closed by health orders at
night off.
Shame.
You?
I got fired by all my clients.
Sweet.
That looks great.
Stinging nettle risotto, just like the one
we had in that little place in Italy.
Mm.
Just letting... Bad?
Black forest from Delling's.
Yes, you may.
Let me design you an amazing house many,
many thousands of miles from here.
And then you give me the deed for this
house.
We can even have nostalgic one-time
good-by-sex.
Then admit we had a
good run, and then went into
a ditch, which disfigured
us and killed our love.
But that now we're going into a new phase.
A happier life.
What's the matter?
Is this some...?
Raspberries, yes.
I laced them in.
But the taste of cherry masks as well.
But then again, you do have a famously
brilliant palette.
Oh, shit.
You're allergic, aren't you?
Oh, don't panic.
It's all in hand, my darling.
Here is the epinephrine that's the
solution to your problem.
What?
And here is a fresh new contract.
Signing the house over to me.
You prick.
I can't believe it.
You really do need to be apart.
This is unbearable.
It's simple.
Sign that.
I stab you with this.
We move on with our lives.
No.
I really do think it is the best solution
for us.
If you die, I inherit the
house anyway, so either
way, it's an elegant
win-win situation for me.
I request just sign the paper.
Don't be crazy.
Just sign it.
You
wouldn't have let me die.
No.
I knew you'd sign it.
And I thank you.
Who?
What?
Thank who?
Cindy.
I was never going to let you die,
Ivy.
You're looking at the white flags.
I think they're in the dressing room.
Starting to think that things are getting
a little out of hand.
What do you think?
Just an instinct.
Put the gun away, Ivy.
You need to leave, Theo.
Well, what?
You'll shoot me?
Well, not if you leave.
I'm pretty sure we never loaded it in.
I'm pretty sure we did.
Jesus, Ivy.
Leave, Theo.
You even can't.
I mean, just look at yourself.
Don't you think I know?
Trying to love you has
made me faint and distorted
because you're a
fucking impossible person.
Of course, you had the gun because you're
fucking reckless, Ivy.
That's what's cureless.
Your selfishness enters late back children
with the waiters.
Fucking millions of choices that weren't
asked.
I'm sure they've been here.
What, have you masturbated over French
tiles while burnishing yourself in front
of rebuilding our children in this fucking
house?
You invited me.
I had to have something.
You never looked at me, Theo.
Some nights I'd wait an hour, maybe two,
thinking, is he gonna look at me?
Does he fucking want to know who I am?
I'm looking who you are.
I just didn't fucking care for it anymore.
I didn't even do that one, but it felt
like appropriate timing.
This is a hair trigger, it's better.
Ivy, we both said things we didn't mean.
I made them!
I've
got fruit and utensils.
You have things for reminding me.
Do it, childs.
Fucking ugly stones.
Drop the gun!
Half lights off.
Half lights off.
Deaconess, just give me the house.
You get the business, we both get
something we love.
I should be the something you love.
You were.
You were fucking everything to me.
You stopped.
You're not supposed to stop.
You stopped.
You stopped, pal.
I never stopped.
Slow down.
How long ago?
How long ago?
How long ago?
How long ago?
How long ago?
Did you mean what you just said that you
never stopped?
Or just the fact that I was chasing you
with a gun, right?
No.
No, I meant it.
Why leave me then?
Because you hated me and I couldn't bear
it.
I didn't.
You didn't seem to be in enough pain for
what had happened to us.
I was.
I am.
Just...
It's hard to show it, you know?
I've got to see it.
How I'm not dull.
Truth is, I doubt I could live without you
anyway.
Without you?
So, murder-suicide pact, then?
We're so good at words.
Yeah, we could never find the ones we
needed.
I was careless with you.
You were hurt and I was so lost in my own
pain that I couldn't get to you.
I was cruel.
I thought we were impregnable and you were
my personal lord.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus, indeed.
I mean, we nearly...
If you didn't throw like a wounded
toddler...
Oh, you shoot like a confused mole.
Brave of you still to appear like that,
though.
I wanted to try.
One last time.
It's terrifying how close we came to
losing each other.
What a day.
Lucky us.
Lucky us.
Always hapening.
Remember when we met?
Good day.
Death to us.
Death to us.
How to play our song and light the fire.
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