The Royal Treatment (2022) Movie Script

- Oh, yeah.
- You want one?
Morning. Have a good day.
Oh, hey.
Okay, kids. We're open. Come on. Let's go.
Thank you, Izzy.
Slow, slow, slow!
- You don't have to feed 'em all the time.
- Sure I do. I'm Italian.
- Bye, Nate.
- Bye.
- Mrs. Johnson.
- Izzy!
Two donuts for one paper, please?
Why do you read this trash?
The headlines are the best.
"Hot Prince Visit
Makes Temperatures Rise in the City."
Seriously though, what's with his hair?
Where on Earth is Lavania?
It's east of Aldovia.
Izzy! The salon!
Destiny, grab your bag!
- Where's the fire?
- It's the microwave.
- Live from Bellissime.
- Okay!
- And there's a massive fire.
- I got it.
Hey, everybody. Here's a tip.
Next time there's a fire,
leave the building.
What about our stuff?
- Isabella, you saved us.
- Okay, okay.
Does somebody wanna tell me
what happened?
- We were just tryna have breakfast...
- And plug in the hair curlers.
- And the dryers, like you said.
- Really? I said that.
- Yeah
- Yeah-huh.
"Never use microwave while hair curlers
and hair dryers are plugged in."
Is that new?
- Nonna! Oh, no, the smoke!
- Mama!
What? I was sleeping.
Mama. We almost died.
Maybe we are dead,
but we just don't know it yet.
No. Angelo would be here.
We aren't dead.
But maybe it'd be better if we were,
because this is gonna cost us a fortune.
Well, well, well. Izzy.
Doug, don't slow clap at me
if you wanna keep all your fingers.
Isabella, the mouth.
You know this isn't my fault.
The wiring in this place
needs to be replaced.
The owner thinks otherwise.
If you let me talk to him,
I could explain...
He hires me so he doesn't
have to deal with people like you.
Look at this!
Hair dryers, curlin' irons, microwave
You overload the outlets.
If it wasn't for me smoothin' things over,
the owner woulda
thrown you out a long time ago.
How much this time?
- Oh, that's extortion, Doug.
- Oh, my God!
Let's break his knees.
Have you no heart?
Look, if you don't got the money,
the owner can easily rent this space
to someone who does.
But you'll never find a property
with this cheap a rent.
I have it.
- Izzy, not your travel savings, girl.
- No, baby, no!
It's okay.It's okay.
- Let us chip in.
- It's okay.
Thank you. This is my responsibility.
If there's any extra,
use it to buy yourself a soul.
You know what I love
about this neighborhood?
- Suckers!
- What?
Baby, what are we gonna do?
It's okay.It's okay.
We'll manage. We always do.
It's okay.It's okay.
You have lunch with your parents
at Tavern on the Green at 1:00,
a meeting with the mayor after that,
then a visit to a school for the arts,
followed at 8:00 sharp at the Guggenheim
for your engagement party.
Walter, what do you think of this shirt?
It's excellent? What's excellent about it?
You're in it.
The queen insisted you wear
something from a top American designer.
But it's hideous. Am I right?
Pardon me?
What do you think of this shirt?
You're lovelier than these roses,
Your Royal Highness.
Can somebody just tell me the truth?
That's all I'm asking.
- The truth?
- Yes.
The truth is, you look excellent.
I don't think I've ever had
a real conversation with anyone, ever.
Would you like me
to bring someone for that?
Oh, I need a haircut.
I'll put that
on the to-do list for tomorrow.
No, no, no. I look like I'm wearing a wig.
- I need a haircut today.
- Ah, but there's no time.
Walter, could we just pretend for a moment
that I have the tiniest bit of control
over my own life?
I'd really like a haircut today.
- Absolutely, Your Highness.
- Thank you.
Call Belle.
It is the best hair salon in New York.
- All of the biggest names go there.
- Mmm.
Dial Belle, best hair salon in New York.
Good day. I'm wanting to speak
to the owner of your establishment.
You got her. What do you want?
Ah, y-yes. Well, I'm calling on behalf
of my employer, Prince Thomas of Lavania.
- I'm his personal valet.
- Yeah, and I'm the Queen of Genovia.
- I'm sorry?
- Who is this?
Carlos, your fake accent is terrible.
I'm wanting a stylist to cut
the prince's hair as soon as possible.
Your salon comes highly recommended.
Hang on a sec.
Hey, D. What's the country dialing code
for Lavania?
Plus eight-five. Why?
Everybody, shut up.
Is it the IRS?
So how much exactly
would I get paid for this haircut?
My time is very valuable, you understand.
That's below my usual fee,
but I suppose it's for a good cause.
Okay. Uh, twelve o'clock.
I'll be there.
Uh, who was that?
I just got a call
to give a haircut to that prince
Prince Thomas.
for $500.
Oh, my
Are you sure?
It sounded legit.
Oh, my God. What am I gonna wear?
Wanna borrow my gold spandex jumpsuit?
- Yes.
- No, it's gotta be tasteful.
Yeah, that's why she said the gold one.
Guys, this could be our big break.
I have to look sophisticated.
- Who's that?
- It's nobody.
Excuse me.
Our bathrooms are not for the public.
I'm not lookin' for a bathroom.
I'm lookin' for a guy named Walter.
Good day.
My name is Walter.
Hey, I'm Izzy, the owner of the salon.
You called me.
Wow, you are, like,
exactly how I pictured you.
The suit and the little pocket square,
all proper.
Right. This way.
Holy freakin' moly.
This is so similar to all the other
hotel suites I've seen in my life.
So similar.
May I introduce Prince Thomas of Lavania.
- Hello.
- Ah.
Um, I'm Izzy of 183rd Street.
Oh, please. You don't have to curtsy.
I know. I only have to curtsy to you
if I'm a citizen of your country.
I'm just doing it for extra credit.
You know a lot about greeting a royal.
Just what I looked up
on the subway over here.
It said, "The curtsy should be
a discrete movement with a slow rise,
maintaining eye contact."
Uh, shall we get started?
- Something wrong?
- I'm not supposed to touch you first.
"Never initiate contact with a royal.
Wait until the royal initiates contact."
Ah, yes. Yes.
That is one of the rules
we vigorously reinforce.
You know, a man once
patted me on the back during a parade.
Well, what happened?
I never saw the man again.
He was taken care of.
Don't do that.
I'm nervous enough as it is.
There. I touched you first.
Thank you.
Seriously, don't do that.
Okay. So what do you wanna do here?
You tell me.
Your Highness. Your tea?
I didn't order tea. Thank you.
- But I was told that...
- I ordered the tea for you.
- You don't want it?
- No.
You heard him. Go!
Y-Yes, of course. Sorry.
Incompetence. Complete incompetence.
I-I'll inform housekeeping.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, it's okay.
You're okay. Everybody spills stuff.
Thank you.
So what cut
do you think would best suit me?
Why didn't you say anything?
That lady was so mean,
and you just sat there.
Well, it's not really my place to say.
- Not your place?
- No, it's...
Isn't she a reflection of you?
If I treated people like that,
I'd have no customers.
I'm a prince. I don't have any customers.
The people that live in your country
aren't like your customers?
No. They're subjects.
Subjected to your crap.
Perhaps you should just cut my hair?
You know what?
Perhaps you should cut your own hair.
What are you doing?
You haven't finished my haircut.
I-Is something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong.
Him! And you too.
Love your shirt, by the way.
Oh, my God!
What kind of salon did you call?
That's why you gotta watch
that medical stuff. You'll get addicted.
It's not good for your health.
Oh, my... Where have you been?
I've been calling you.
I'm sorry. My phone died.
I had to walk back home.
- What? From Uptown? Sit.
- Grazie, Nonna.
Why didn't you take the subway?
I didn't have money.
I was counting on that $500.
The prince didn't pay you?
Rich people, always stiffin'
the workin' class.
No, it's not like that. I, um
I didn't exactly finish the haircut.
- I saw some injustices...
- Oh, Isabella. You and your injustices!
- What did you do?
- Doesn't matter.
The prince saw somebody being a jerk,
and he didn't even care.
A prince is supposed to be gallant,
to stand up for the little people.
- A prince is supposed to...
- Not be in the store.
Please, don't let me stop you.
- She was talking about another prince.
- She cut two princes' hair today.
- Happens all the time. They...
- What are you doing here?
You forgot your scissors.
Also, I was hoping
I could get the rest of my haircut.
You left rather abruptly, and
Look at me.
I can barely stand up straight.
I'm sorry. I'm kinda tired.
I see. Well, at least let me
pay you and apologize.
I promise, I do have a more charming side.
You just don't show it to the help.
It's like a glass slipper.
But money.
Chair four.
- Thank you.
- That's right here.Have a seat.
- I'll get round.
- Let me get these out of your way.
- Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
- I wiped it earlier. Very clean.
- Thank you.
- I'm starstruck.
- Me too!
I be seeing you
in the paper, everywhere.
- I can't believe you in Bellissime.
- I don't know what to do.
- Want some?
- No, I'm okay. Thank you.
Oh, that looks delicious,
but I'm going out to dinner soon.
What does that mean?
I don't make food for you to waste it.
Nonna, he said no.
The skinny little thing needs to eat.
He's not a prince.
He's a stick figure.
Nonna, enough!
What? He can't understand me.
It's true. My Italian is rather rusty.
Are you guys always like this?
You have no idea.
Oh, now you're in for it.
Ah, fantastic!
Okay. There, you're all set.
- Thank you. I love it.
- Isabella is the best.
Take some of her cards
to give to your prince friends.
She does everything.
Hair, makeup, nails, bikini wax.
Mama, that's too much information.
He doesn't need to know that.
That's Izzy's.
She's just dying to go see the world.
Well, the whole world is waiting for you,
right outside this door.
Yeah, I'll just tell my butler
to startmakin' arrangements.
Would it be too much bother if someone
pointed me in the direction of the subway?
- I'll do that.
- I can do that.
Isabella will show you.
Come on.
You know,
I didn't peg you for a subway guy.
Yes. Well, I went to American schools
growing up, and I traveled quite a bit.
So I try to see
as much of each place as I can.
You know, do my best to blend in.
You're wearin' a tux,
and a town car's trailin' us.
You call that blendin' in?
Protocol, I'm afraid.
We gotta have more fun with this.
One, two, three, stop!
One, two, three, stop!
What happens if we run?
- Let's find out.
- Yes!
Go, go!
Go, go, go, go!
This way. Go! Go! Go! Go!
Oh, my God.
I think we may have given them
a heart attack.
Yeah, that's all right.
It's a little payback for Walter.
He confessed that his phone
made an error calling your salon.
He intended to call a salon named Belle.
Yep, that makes more sense.
All the biggies go there.
But their cuts start at 700 bucks,
a total waste of money.
I can give you
the same haircut for 29.99.
But I paid you 500.
Hey, it's what Walter offered.
I'm just a good businesswoman.
Well, I'm glad he made the mistake.
This was the best night I've had in
well, a very long time.
I thought you were gonna take the subway.
I insist we give you
a ride back to your salon.
Ah, no, thank you.
It's a beautiful night, and I just
I wanna look at the stars.
What stars?
What do you mean, what stars?
Sirius. Vega.
Where's Vega?
Look, it's right
I'm used to stargazing
with lights and pollution.
Excuse me, Your Highness.
Your engagement party begins shortly.
Of course.
it was a pleasure meeting you, Izzy.
You too.
You know, you're not so bad,
when you're not acting like a prince.
Who do these hairdressers
think they are? Hmm?
No. Now, you trust me,
I was doing her a favor.
No, I do not always do that.
Good morning.
Oh, you hold on.
Come on, you two. Let's go. Kiss kiss.
- Mom!
- Lauren.
I'm just makin' memories.
Makin' memories.
- She hung up.
- So how are the wedding plans?
Damned expensive.
There've been a few bumps,
but it's no biggie.
No biggie? We just lost
our fourth hair and makeup designer.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
We're running out of time.
If I may,
what of Miss Isabella, Your Highness?
Owner of the salonBellissime.
She just cut the prince's hair.
- Does she do crew cuts?
- She and her team do everything.
Are you happy with her, this Isabella?
Uh, yes. Yes. Best salon in New York.
Difficult to book, though.
Very popular.
Oh. Well, we must get them.
We gon' get them.
- I love those. Are those real?
- 24 carat.
There you are, Rochelle.
- I always know where to find you.
- She's all set.
- You're welcome.
- Bye, Izzy.
See you tomorrow.
You do too much for them.
She does.
I love it. It's really not a problem.
It is.
Izzy, I'm not getting any younger.
I would love to hand over
the community centerto someone I trust.
I'm flattered, but I don't know anything
about running a community center.
No! Because you're a hairdresser.
- Nate, out of here. Out!
- But...
Out! Out!Out!
Rude. Even for you.
What? He's coming over
for lasagna later,
and besides, you work here.
Right there.
This is where you belong.
With me.
Oh, uh, good day.
Walter. Did the prince forget somethin'?
On the contrary.
On behalf of the LaMotts
and the royal family,
Prince Thomas would like
to extend to you an offer.
- Is he serious?
- Very.
- What's it say?
- What does it say on it?
Bellissime has been requested to do
the hair and makeup for the royal wedding
in Lavania
for $50,000.
Those business cards are amazing.
All of us?
All of you.
Oh, my God!
No, wait. Wait. Wait.
- We can't go!
- What?
Who's gonna mind the store?
We've got customers.
This is a chance of a lifetime.
Dad would've wanted me to go.
You and I will stay here
and take care of the salon.
Let the girls go and have fun.
But it's so far away.
Isabella, what if
something happens to you?
Mama, if I stay here,
nothing's gonna happen to me.
What shall I tell the prince?
Come on. Come on.
Tell him to hold onto his crown
because Bellissime is coming!
That's my girl!
We're going to Lagunia, or wherever
Oh, golly! Oh!
It's chaos. Look.
Good golly.
What's it called again?
- Lavania.
- We're going there!
Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
This place is gorgeous.
No pollution, no graffiti,
and no buildings.
- I'm actually a little bit freaked out.
- Is this stuff free?
That's a bad smell.
There's the castle!
Oh, my God!
Hey, everybody.
We in Lavania, and it's like...
Welcome to Lavania.
Walter, what's up?
I've got so much to teach you.
This way, ladies.
This is incredible! Oh, my God!
Are all the people working the wedding
staying in the castle?
Only you three.
Prince Thomas wants to make sure
your first experience
in Lavania is a memorable one.
- Who are all these oldy-von-moldies?
- D!
Those are my relatives.
Your Highness.
What an unexpected surprise!
Uh, what I meant was,
they look glowing and mature.
No, you're quite right.
They are a rather moldy lot.
And I seem to have inherited
the family nose.
How do you look in the mirror every day?
Catherine, Father, there are some people
I'd like you to meet.
These are the stylists
I was telling you about from New York.
Oh, yes, of course. Welcome.
Hmm. Oh, that's, uh
That's a very interesting, um
Oh, it's a neck pillow.
She'll trade you for your necklace.
Not really. That's yours.
I see.
- Thomas.
- Of course.
Well, it's lovely to have you all here.
Thanks for making the trip.
Can you imagine
if those were your parents?
I ain't never seen my pops
in anything but a bowling shirt.
This is where you'll be staying.
And this is your personal housekeeper.
If you need anything,
just press that button,
and she'll be summoned.
Hey, I'm Izzy.
Oh, there's no need
to introduce yourself to her.
Sure, there is. She's a person, right?
Yeah, Wally. Where your manners at?
Manners are the very foundation
of my life and work.
So, introduce us.
Isabella, Destiny, and Lola,
may I introduce you to Petra.
- Petra!
- Hey, Petra!
- Izzy. It's so good to meet you.
- This color on you!
Your hair, it's so pretty!
See? That wasn't so hard.
I call this one.
I want this one!
I know you hate doing this,
but can we push the beds together,
make one big bed?
- No!
- No!
Definitely not.
You always make me sleep in the crack.
I'm not gonna sleep there.
Where am I supposed to sleep?
Your room is next door.
My room?
Why do I get my own room?
The prince feels he made
a rather bad first impression with you.
I believe he's trying to make amends.
Tell him he has a long way to go. Hmm.
But it's a pretty good start.
- so elegant. I love it.
- I know!
What is this?
Wait till you see
the view from the roof!
Oh, my God!
Would you look at this?
Ten thousand imported roses,
champagne fountains,
dinner for 800 guests.
Sounds divine, doesn't it?
I said I wanted something small.
We could save money if we just...
Again, you concern yourself with
financial issues, which you should not.
Besides, the LaMotts
are paying for most of this.
That man owns half of Texas.
We still hold responsibility
to our people and their needs.
But that's exactly
what we're doing, my son.
I mean, we could fix a few potholes,
which no one will remember,
or we could provide
extravagance, pageantry,
which they will remember forever.
So I'm just a pawn in this.
To boost approval.
Darling, you're young and in love.
In love?
With all due respect,
Catherine, I hardly know Lauren.
This is nothing but an arranged marriage.
Oh, Thomas, are you actually complaining
about living the life of a prince?
No, of course not, Father.
Why would I do that?
- It was so cute.
- This is the one.
- Hi. Sorry.
- I've never seen a dungeon before.
- It looked really good on us.
- You are late.
Yeah, sorry.
- This castle has five million hallways.
- Yeah.
- We ended up in the dungeon...
- Then we had to pretend we were locked up.
- It was a whole thing.
- It was good.
The royal wedding
is in less than two weeks.
We have never,
in the history of the royal family,
had unknown persons
do the hair and the makeup,
but theLaMotts insisted
on you three.
So this is precisely why I've called you
here today to test your skills on several
- You understand what she's saying?
- She's very intense.
You. You are in charge of
grooming the men for the wedding.
This is your model.
He works in the stable.
- Hey, I'm Izzy.
- Francis.
You have amazing hair.
I promise you, I won't hurt you.
You two, you will be preparing the women.
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
Hi. I'm Destiny,
and this is Lola. And you are?
- Abigail.
- Clara.
They work in the kitchen.
You two ever wear makeup?
- But you have such pretty eyes!
- And look at those cheekbones!
You two are movie stars.
And they got you working in the kitchen?
And he is finished.
I took a machete to that beard
because it just had to go.
I updated his hair,
and then I cleaned up his eyebrows.
Now look at those beautiful eyes.
I'll take that as a French compliment.
- You're free to go.
- I'll wait for...
- Leave us!
- Okay.
- I'll catch up with you guys...
- Go!
Okay, okay.
We're done.
Are you ready to have your mind blown?
On three.
One, two, three!
What is this?
Nailed it!
I'm so sorry.
- So happy!
- Oh, my God!
She's crying with joy.
You made her cry with joy!
Oh, hi!
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Baby.
- Mama?
What's wrong?
I'm fine. You should see this place.
You know those towns in train sets?
It's like I'm in a train set.
What, you're near train tracks?
That's how your cousin died.
Please be happy for me.
Look how pretty this is.
Look over here.
Wait, actually, look over here.
- How crazy is this?
- Whoa. Slower.
You're making me sick.
Hey, someone just walked in. I gotta go.
Be safe.
I love you.
I love you too.
These look amazing.
Hey, how are you?
Come back here, guys.
Excuse me? What part of town is this?
Uber de Gleise.
- What does that mean?
- "Across the train tracks."
That's a very nice fish.
So! You think you know hair.
You wanna see my license fromBarbizon?
Royal hair is vastly different
than the hair of commoners.
It is subtle. It is chic.
It flows, but it does not move.
Like a swan gliding through the water.
She crazy.
Show me your hands!
"Hands." She's saying "hands."
You have no muscle.
They are weak,
- I can make a fist.
- Silence!
I never thought
I would be in this position again,
but your lack of skill leave me no choice.
Scissors ready!
- Which ones?
- Those ones.
I can't use these.
- Just...
- They blunt!
- Get them!
- Okay.
We begin.
But there are no heads.
You imagine!
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
- Faster.
- One, two, three.
Yes, two, three.
Faster now.
Count with me.
One, two, three.One, two, three.
You can feel it, no?
One... I'm getting cramped!
- Destiny, just do it.
- One, two, three.
There are so manypeople
coming to our wedding.
I don't know hardly any of them.
Neither do I.
Who's that?
Oh, that's Izzy.
Pull over, please?
Izzy, were you not assigned a driver?
I was, but I like to walk.
Cake, pastry?
I'd offer a kolaczki,
but Everett ate all four.
Thank you.
Hey, there. You want one?
- Please.
- Mmm.
How rude of me.
This is Izzy, owner ofBellissime.
- Izzy, this is my fiance, Lauren.
- Mmm!
I hear you're making me
look beautiful for my big day.
From where I'm standing,
it's not gonna be hard.
- Aren't you a sweetie!
- I'm gonna give the rest to the gardeners.
- How many are there?
- Gardeners? I have no idea.
You've lived here all your life,
and you don't know?
It was good to finally meet you, Lauren.
Love her.
Hey! What's up? Do you want one?
- I had one.
- Thank you.
Yeah, she's great.
Guys, I had the most incredible day.
I went into town,
and I found the cutest shops.
I got these for the kids
at the community center.
No idea what they are.
I asked the guy twice,
but his accent was so thick I gave up.
They're cool though, right?
Guys, what's wrong?
All day long,
we cut invisible heads of hair.
Hundreds of 'em!
- I can't feel my arms.
- What are you talkin' about?
That evil French lady thinks
we can't do hair and makeup
for the royal wedding,
so she put us in an evil hair school.
Let's go out tonight and have fun.
Check out Lavanian night life,
maybe a little dancin'?
- No way. Go without us.
- Go.
- I can't go without you.
- We'll be there in spirit.
- We'll be fine!
- Deep spirit.
- Don't worry about us.
- Dance the night away.
- Go live for us! Fly, butterfly!
- I can't move my legs!
- Dance like you've never danced before!
- Oh, God!
- I love you!
- I lost my pizzazz.
May I say, Miss Isabella,
you look lovely this evening.
Thank you. Fist bump.
This is called a fist bump.
And this is called a double fist bump.
Very good.
So a fist bump is for every day.
Double fist bump, special occasions.
And what is the special occasion?
- I'm goin' out.
- Into the gardens?
No. Back into town.
Oh, but it's almost dark,
and y-you're unaccompanied.
Walter, if I can handle myself
on the streets of New York,
I can handle myself in a town
where people push apples in carts.
- I just don't think it's a good...
- You need to lighten up and have some fun.
Who knows? Maybe if you learn to have fun,
you can teach the prince how to have fun.
Oh, I can assure you,
Prince Thomas knows how to have fun.
Really? How? 'Cause I've never seen it.
- I-I just don't think it's a good...
- I'm going to be fine.
Your Highness, I hate to be a bother,
but your hairdresser
is walking down the drive.
Her intent is to leave the castle
and go into town.
It's getting dark.
- That doesn't seem safe.
- I didn't think so, but she insisted.
She needs a chaperone.
You should go with her.
Oh, my skipping days are over.
She needs someone
who can keep up with her.
You have someone in mind?
What about you, Your Highness?
She knows you.
And I believe
a night away from your royal duties
might do you some good.
I need some clothes.
Regular person clothes, Walter.
Right away, Your Highness.
Pardon me, ma'am.
You're not permitted
beyond the castle walls.
- Prince Thomas.
- I'm not Prince Thomas tonight.
I'm just Thomas. Tom. Tommy.
- What are you doin' here?
- I was hoping I could joinyou.
You could be
my Sherpa guide to normal life.
Mmm, I don't know.
Am I gonna get in trouble for this?
At school, I always got in trouble,
even when I did nothin' wrong.
Nothing's going to happen to you.
At the most, a small prison sentence
for kidnapping a royal.
Just a little... little one.
- Fine.
- Yes!
But only because I hate to party alone.
And you're payin' for everything.
I don't have my wallet.
You're annoying.
And you're refreshingly honest.
So where are we headed?
- Into town.
- Yeah.
- Have you ever been?
- No, not often.
So this is Lavanian nightlife?
I suppose so.
We're a stiff, uncomfortable people,
as I'm sure you've seen.
Perhaps we should, uh,
head back to the castle.
Wait. I know where to go.
Of course you do.
Come on.
I'm not sure we should be here. I'm told
this part of town is quite dangerous.
Let's go this way!
We'll be lucky
if we make it out of here alive.
Mmm, I smell something delicious.
Two, please.
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
Thank you.
This is fantastic.
I wonder what kind of meat this is.
Ooh, I've learned in these situations
it's better not to ask.
Come on.
I can't just stand here.
Wait, what? Where are you going? Wait...
Hi! Get over here.
Ready? Twirl!
- You were so good. What's your name?
- Esme.
I'm Izzy. It's so good to meet you.
- You really are such a good dancer.
- Who's ready for the bumba?
What's happenin'?
- Our national dance.
- Oh.
- Come on. You must know this dance.
- Only from afar.
Can you go get him for me?
- No. I...
- That guy looks like the prince.
Is that the prince?
Everyone, can we please
give him some encouragement?
- Hey! It's the prince!
- Yeah, come join!
I'm not speaking to you.
- Fine. Less talkin' more dancin'.
- One, two, three, bumba!
- What do we do?
- I don't know.
Oh, thank you.
- You really don't know this dance.
- Please, I'm trying to concentrate.
- Hey!
- Okay.
- Thank you, Izzy.
- It's my pleasure.
- Now, do you live around here?
- In that building over there.
This is my school.
Wanna see where I sit?
Oh, it's not locked?
- Uh, be right back.
- Mm-hmm.
I helped make this.
I painted this.
And this is where I sit.
Wow, it's got a lot of character.
So this is where you sit?
- How's your ice cream?
- Good.
Is it really good?
It looks very good.
I'm excited to have mine.
It's kinda drippy.
Uh, you're welcome?
If you don't like it, buy your own.
Wait, that's right.
You don't have any money.
My apologies.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I can't believe I feared this place.
These people are
Come on. I wanna show you something.
So this is what stars look like
without pollution.
Quite humbling, isn't it?
It is.
Hey. How come
the prince of Lavania doesn't know
the national dance ofLavania?
Well, my parents are fond of traditions
that involve meeting heads of state
and wearing crowns from the 14th century.
They're not too fond
of peasant folk dances.
How stupid is that?
You have no idea.
You know, I never realized
what a melting pot Lavania is.
But I guess it makes sense.
Hundreds of years ago,
it was on the trade route to India, right?
Ah, so you're a lover of history
as well as astronomy.
I love everything, really.
- So why are you just a hairdresser?
- "Just"?
- No, I didn't I didn't mean that.
- Mm-hmm.
I just meant,
you could use your mind for anything.
Truth is, I'd love nothin' more
than to do somethin' else.
But my mother needs me.
My dad passed away five years ago, and
she's never been the same.
I'm sorry.
My mother passed away when I was seven.
I'm sorry.
You know, I, too, find myself
bound by family obligation and duty.
At least your decision
was of your own choice.
- I don't even get to choose my own wife.
- Wait, seriously?
You didn't swipe right on Lauren?
No. Although, considering
the history of the monarchy,
I'm lucky she's not my cousin.
I can't begin to tell you
how refreshing it was
to be around people
who treated me like I was a regular person
and not use me for my title.
So why are they struggling so much?
My father takes care of the economics,
and, uh, he's made it clear
he does not want me involved.
I've always thought I could change
the world, if I was given the chance,
but you've been given that chance,
and you're not takin' it.
Thank you for a wonderful night.
You're welcome.
But next time you're paying.
I promise.
Uh, what are you doin'?
Uh, nothing.
- Yeah. You were giving me the look.
- Wh-What look?
This look.
Like I'm gonna be ill?
No. Like Likeyou like me.
I do like you.
I-I thought we were becoming friends.
Oh, that was not a friend look.
Well, I apologize.
Before we meet again,
I will forgo all my royal duties
so that I can practice
the nuances of my facial expressions.
You do that. Good night, Tommy.
May I say something,
as a friend?
Go for it.
You said you could change the world
if you were given the chance.
I don't thinkanyone's gonna
give you the chance. You have to take it.
Be the change you wanna see in the world.
And you should, because, well,
you're an extraordinary person.
Goodnight, Izzy.
- Good morning, Catherine, Father.
- Good morning.
You both look lovely this morning.
Thank you.
Father, have you ever had a kebab?
Uh, maybe when I was in the army.
Goat, I think.
- They're very good.
- Yes.
I-I've been thinking about
the people in theUber de Gleise.
- Isn't there anything we can do for them?
- Funny you should ask.
Lauren's father has agreed
to purchase that area of town
and renovate it for the people.
Really? That's brilliant.
Are there any plans I can see?
Oh, they're just in the works.
It's all very hush-hush.
It's not something
you should be concerned with.
You know the Uber is an area
we've always protected you from.
It's quite dangerous.
Well, that's that's not true.
Have you been there yourselves?
Darling, I don't have to pet a tiger
to know that it bites.
Well, I'd love to be involved
in any way that I can.
I wanna do more for our people.
You are already doing
more than enough for our people.
Now, the subject is closed, Thomas.
Your mind should be
focused on the wedding.
I can't do it. They're so bland.
No color, no sparkle,
not even a diamond stud.
As an artist, I just can't. I can't.
You can do it, D.
You're stronger than you know...
Make sure
there will be flowers all the way down.
There's gonna be flowers, right?
Roses. Pink roses. Um, swans.
You have the swans?
You told me they were coming in?
Okay, we want swans in there.
Just real pretty, no fightin'.
Lock it down, you know.
All the way down to where the stones are,
not a blade of grass in sight.
I don't wanna see
a single blade of grass in this.
Just petals, petals, petals all the way
You're gonna lean in and kiss her
just about the time the doves have crested
those bushes over there, okay?
Everett, do you have
any free space in that guard shack?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
It's bigger than my own house.
Think you could store some stuff for me?
Yeah. Don't see why not.
But, if it's dessert
I can't promise I won't eat it.
What'd you have in mind?
"Got any old toys,
books, bikes, or furniture?"
"Help a child less fortunate
by bringing all the items
to the castle guard gate."
"Ask for Everett."
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Hey, help a child in need.
Hey, ladies. How you doing?
Help a child less fortunate
than yourself, in the Uber.
Oh, hey! Help a child less fortunate.
- How you doin'?
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
How much is the spaghetti?
You got room for one more cook?
Izzy. What do you need?
Oh, yes! You guys made it.
- Fabre stepped out.
- So we snuck out.
What's goin' on?
Okay. Well, this may sound a little crazy,
but I wanna make a batch of spaghetti
with homemade tomato sauce
for the kids in the Uber de Gleise school.
I already have all the ingredients.
I just need a stove and some help.
Of course.
- Please, anything to get a break.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, this is why I love you guys.
So, first rule with Italian cooking,
you can't cook without wine.
And music.
Yes, Petra.
This is what I'm talkin' about.
- Busy?
- No, not at all. Please, come in.
Mom gave me
the new redesign for the country estate.
That was fast.
Things usually operate
much slower in Lavania.
Not when she's around.
So, she likes the estate.
She just thinks it needs
a little updating before we move in.
Also, I was hoping we might be able
to make this room here my work studio.
Studio? For what?
Well, so I have this business idea,
and I haven't told many people,
so let me know if you think I'm crazy.
- You know how dogs have all this stuff?
- Izzy!
Tennis balls, sweaters,
dog chews, stuff like that.
But they don't have
any way to carry it all around
Oh, my God! This is so sweet.
and I'm gonna call it "Purses for Dogs."
So what do you think?
Really? You like it?
Yes, yes.
My mom hated the idea.
She said, "Your job is to be a princess,"
which, of course, it is.
- Thank you.
- can do both.
Good, 'cause I was actually hoping
we might open
the first store on the estate.
And maybe you might
wanna be the official mascot.
We put you in your little crown.
You can hand out fliers.
That sounds wonderful.
Would you excuse me a moment?
I can barely fit in here anymore.
This is incredible.
This used to be mine when I was a boy.
And I figure,
I'm not playing with it anymore,
so let's give it
to somebody who might love it.
I wanted to let you know,
there's a Norman invasion outside.
Uh, Your Highness, we were, um...
Playing with toys. Is this how you spend
all day long in the guardhouse?
Stop it. You're scaring Everett to death.
He's kidding, I swear.
It's just so hard to tell with him.
He's so cardboard.
Ah, I'm sorry, Everett.
I was just, uh, kidding around a bit.
Can I ask why the guardhouse
has turned into a novelty shop?
I was thinking about
what you said the other night,
and I'm not saying you were right...
I need to be the change
I wanna see in the world, right?
So I've decided
to help the school in the Uber.
Need a partner?
What do you got in mind?
The sides are a little uneven.
But I am not revolted.
- She is not revolted!
- She is not revolted!
Here's a beauty.
Always been one of my favorites.
It's gorgeous.
Why isn't it in the castle?
The queen likes
to switch out the furniture.
Anything she doesn't fancy
ends up in the storage.
Can't the staff use the furniture
in their houses?
I mean, it's going to waste.
Against policy, I'm afraid.
Absurd! Let's load them all in the truck.
Uh, respectfully, Your Highness,
they're not allowed to leave the storage.
Francis, how often
does the queen visit the storage?
- Never.
- Well, then she she'll never know.
Gather all the gardeners, all 18 of them,
and tell 'em to lend us a hand, will you?
Right away, Your Highness.
You know how many gardeners there are?
Well, I've lived here all my life
and been told
not to fraternize with the help.
How stupid is that?
No, I didn't ask for 125 pigeons.
I asked for 125 doves
with just a whisper of pink
on their wings.
I don't know
what's difficult about that.
Y'all need to get it done. That's all.
May I say, you look stunning, my dear?
Walter, do you know
if the swans have arrived?
An hour ago.They should be
being held out the back here.
Actually, they're on the other side
of the castle near the stables.
- I'll show you.
- Who is that with the prince?
Who? That's just
a temporary employee for the wedding.
Tea? W-We have chamomile.
We have peppermint.
Some Earl Grey, perhaps.
You may go, Walter.
Yes. Of course, milady.
That's Izzy from the salon in New York.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's super nice, Mom.
I'll bet she is.
Mom. Don't go causing any trouble
right before the wedding.
Oh, well, looks like
if it was up to this hairdresser,
you wouldn't have a wedding at all.
Well, maybe that wouldn't be
such a bad thing.
Excuse me?
I barely know the guy, Mom.
Oh, honey. Knowing your spouse
is highly overrated.
How romantic!
That gonna be in your wedding toast?
You are just having
some pre-wedding jitters. That's all.
Now, Thomas is a kind,
charming, handsome prince.
And you're lucky to have him,
and he is lucky to have you.
But I'm not ready to settle down yet, Mom.
I wanna start my own business.
Ooh, not another word
about those ridiculous cat backpacks!
Dog purses, Mom. God!
Lauren, you're gonna be a princess.
This wedding is happenin'.
He just needs
his chain yanked a little bit.
You okay there?
Yes, yes, yes.
I just haven't driven in a while.
What's so funny? Would you care to drive?
Hey, I'm from New York.
We take public transportation.
I'm just glad
I didn't eat before we did this.
See? I told you I could drive.
My father used to let me drive
at our estate in the north,
but there were no real roads,
nothing to hit,
so they were never really
proper driving lessons.
It was fun, though.
Only time I got to spend
alone with my father.
Most of my memories revolve around me
being stuffed into an uncomfortable suit
and propped up for royal photographs.
Once, for my birthday,
I got this brand-new pair of tap shoes.
- Cool.
- I hated those tap lessons.
Even now when I hear
a bird tapping on a window
I break out into a cold sweat.
Oh, my God!
Please stop. You're depressing me.
Cheer us up, then.
Tell me a story about your childhood.
- Well?
- Well, I'm thinkin', okay?
I'm sortin' through
a lot of embarrassing stories
that I'm not gonna tell.
Okay. I got one.
It's about my dad.
I was about five.
We had no money and we just moved
into my nonna's tiny apartment.
I was havin' a hard time
making friends in the neighborhood,
and I was kinda miserable.
I don't even know
how my dad didn't get arrested for this,
but he knew some guy who had one of those
horse-drawn carriages in Central Park.
So he borrows the guy's horse,
and he rode it right to our apartment.
Here I am,sittin' on the steps,
I'm feelin' sorry for myself.
And here comes my dad on a horse.
He scooped me up,
rode me all through the neighborhood.
Then he got me gelato.
He even bought gelato for the horse.
I didn't have trouble
making friends after that.
My dad would've loved this place.
He had an adventurous heart.
Like his daughter.
He also had no money, like his daughter.
Ah, I forgot my wallet again.
Are you kidding me? Oh, my God!
You really wanna wear a disguise?
Yes. I'd prefer it
to be about them, not me.
Great disguise, by the way.
Hey, you must be Jane.
I'm Izzy. We spoke on the phone.
Uh, and this is my friend
Good day.
I can't thank you enough for doing this.
The children are so excited.
Let's not keep 'em waitin'.
Who wants books and toys?
And spaghetti!
And haircuts!
After the spaghetti
'cause we don't want hair in the food.
Okay, let's get some toys
up in here. Come on.
- Toys!
- Thank you.
You're welcome. Who wants the book?
This school's about to look
a lot different.
- Here you go, my man.
- Thank you.
There you go.
Do you like it?
Wow! Who are you,
and what have you done with Esme?
Do you want some spaghetti?
Okay, I think I've given all the kids
a haircut except that one.
You can run but you can't hide.
Well, it's absolutely wonderful.
And it's all because of you.
You helped.
A little.
Just a bit.
Can you read this to us?
Me? I'd be honored. Come on.
You know, it's easier
to read books without sunglasses.
- All right.
- Come on.
Hold on. Let me fix this up.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Just makin' memories.
Hey, did I miss breakfast?
They're never this late.
I need my coffee in my silver pot.
Two weeks and you're already spoiled.
Spoiled? We're in hair camp,
and you're out flirting with hot royalty.
I'm not flirting with Prince Thomas.
Oh, how you know
we were talking about the prince?
- Yeah.
- We didn't say "prince."
No. Maybe we were talking
about his dad, the king.
Yeah. His waddles are smexy.
- Have you kissed?
- Okay, hold up.
Prince Thomas and I are just friends.
Besides, he's about to get married.
You know I wouldn't do that.
Finally, Petra! Where's the coffee at?
I need that in my veins.
You okay?
There's something you should see.
- See! I told you. You like him.
- D!
You really like him.
It's bad, isn't it? Yeah.
Sorry. It's a cute photo, though.
Is something wrong?
Oh, for heaven's sake!
- Think the LaMotts have seen this?
- Pray they haven't.
Walter, come in here.
Find Thomas
and bring him to us immediately.
I want you to see to it that any copies
of this filth are destroyed,
and please inform this girl
that her services are no longer necessary.
But Miss Isabella is in charge
of hair and makeup for the wedding.
There are two others.
They'll stay. She will go.
- But I really feel that...
- John!
Oh, no.
We had a deal. That did not include
your boy hooking up with some hairdresser.
- Y'all need to look at this.
- We've taken care of it.
Yes, we... Walter! Now!
I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.
It better be. Because there's
a lot riding on this weddin'.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.
Where's Izzy?
She left.
- Please let me...
- It's okay.
- Let me help you.
- No, please.
- Izzy, where are you going?
- Haven't you heard? Walter fired me.
I'm so sorry.
Leave us.
It's not his fault. Your parents made him.
- They have no right.
- The king and queen have no right?
Look. It doesn't matter.
I'm making a mess of everything,
and I'm leavin'.
No, that's not true.
"Italian Tomato Seduces Prince."
And to think I used to like tabloids.
I don't want you to go.
- You're getting married tomorrow.
- To someone I don't know.
Someone I don't love.
Don't go.
Don't go.
I can't do this.
Stop the car!
Stop it, please.
Oh, Izzy, are you there?
- Uh, Mama. Hi, are you okay?
- No.
No. I-I'm okay,
but, uh, the salon, not so much.
You've gone too far this time.
I suppose we could say
the same thing to you.
Do you know how much
damage control we had to do
over your incident with the hairdresser?
Son, you're about to get married.
Have some discretion.
I'm not getting married.
I'm calling the wedding off.
The wedding will proceed.
Our entire lifestyle
and the fate of the crown rests upon it.
What are you talking about?
are penniless.
- Penniless?
- High inflation. Bad investments.
Bad decisions.
It's not easy for monarchs these days.
Do you know how expensive it is
to heat a 200-room castle?
Well, I don't either, but it's...
The LaMotts wanted land to develop.
We needed cash.
That's the arrangement
in the arranged marriage.
Wait, what... what land?
The Uber. As the city's grown,
it's become quite prime real estate.
And the LaMotts are renovating it
for the people?
Well, they're renovating it.
But not for those people.
"Those people"?
We had no choice.
I will not be a part of the injustice
done to that community.
Thomas! Just wait.
Go forth with the wedding,
and we promise you we'll do right by them.
We will find them a better place to live.
Your marriage is our only hope
for survival.
We got this.
For the salon,
for each other, but most of all
For Izzy.
Who's ready to look gorgeous today?
Get your patootie in the chair, sweetie.
We about to go in.
Okay, D. I'm here for you.
- Hairbrush.
- Hairbrush.
You ready?
Let's go.
What do you think of this hat?
What's excellent about it?
Thomas, I grew up in a very small village.
As it so happened,
I did very well in school,
and by the time I was a young man,
I had caught the attention
of the Royal Academy
who offered me the coveted job
of tutoring the young prince,
a very naughty three-year-old boy.
The problem was there was someone,
and we were very much in love.
But when you're called to duty,
you must go.
What happened to Richard?
I had to leave him behind.
Why are you telling me all this?
'Cause I have enjoyed a privileged life
no one in my village
could ever have dreamed of.
I have a wonderful job and all
the material possessions one could want.
Yet, what does it all mean without love?
I'm sorry.
Don't get married.
What about Father and Catherine?
The last time I checked,
they were grown adults.
They got into this mess,
they should get themselves out.
You're not in love with Lauren.
You're in love with Izzy.
I don't think she loves me.
I know love when I see it.
I hate the hat.
Thank you, Walter. Thank you.
The anticipation is killing me, ladies.
Okay, we're done.
Oh, my stars!
Her hair, her makeup, she
I've never seen her look lovelier.
You're all incredible.
Where you located?
183rd Street,
right next to Cho's Dry Cleaners.
We accept walk-ins.
Pardon me.
I'd like to speak to Lauren.
Well, no, that's not possible.
I'm afraid it is.
Have you checked the flowers recently?
I heard the delivery man
was stuck or something.
- Apparently they were covered in slugs.
- He said you needed geraniums
Lauren, I, uh, I know
this is our wedding day,
so the timing of this is a bit off.
Not just a bit, quite a bit.
You're a wonderful person. It's not that.
And I know it's awful
when people say, "It's not you, it's me."
But it is. It is me.
I... Call me old-fashioned,
but I like to think that love
should be a factor in getting married,
the... the main factor.
- And, well...
- Thomas, stop.
You're smiling.
I don't wanna get married either.
Always a pleasure.
What was that nonsense all about?
Mom, we need to talk.
Oh, my God!
Mrs. Johnson.
Izzy! Baby, you're back.
I'm so sorry
you had to cut your big trip short.
- It's okay. It was time to leave.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
This always makes you feel better.
On the house.
No, thank you, Mrs. Johnson.
My tabloid days are over.
- Izzy!
- Hey! Hi.
I missed you guys so much.
Get over here. Yes!
Got you presents.
boom, and boom.
I have no idea either.
Izzy, you should've seen the fire.
Yeah, if you were here,
you could've put it out.
Probably not this time.
Oh, my baby's home!
Oh, look!
There was nothing
we could do. It all went up so fast.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm just glad nobody got hurt.
Izzy, we tried to save your globe.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Well, well, well
I've warned you
about that slow clappin', Doug.
You did it this time, didn't you, Izzy?
Unless you got more money,
and I mean a lot more money,
in that magic globe of yours,
I don't know what I will tell the owner.
Don't worry about it.
Mr. Bartoli and I have already spoken.
You spoke to Mr. Bartoli? How did you...
He was surprised to hear
about the trouble with the property,
since he paid you
to have it rewired a year ago.
Well, he paid me. I...
He was more surprised to hear about
the money you've collected from me.
Money he's never seen.
He sounded pretty upset.
- He did?
- He did.
- He did?
- He did.
Get out of my salon, Doug.
- Ow!
- Oh!
It's a rubber band shooter!
Hey, hey, Doug.
Know what I love about this neighborhood?
- Adios!
- Get out of here!
Ciao, bello.
That's right, keep on walking.
Get away!
Thank God you're home!
Yes, thank you very...
That's enough. Thank you.
You know, I think the salon burning down
was a blessing in disguise.
We are free of Doug,
and with Mr. Bartoli rebuilding the salon,
we can redo the interior how we want.
We can go wallpaper shopping.
No? You don't agree?
Isabella, what's wrong with you?
Something happen
that you're not telling me?
Leave the poor girl.
She's been through a lot.
- Hey! How you doin'?
- Hey!
- Nate!
- Wow, look at that!
- Did you tell your mom, yet?
- Uh, no, Nate.
I was waiting for everyone
to have alcohol in them, but thank you.
Tell me what?
Who wants Chianti? Are we out?
Because I can just go to the store...
We always have Chianti.
I am retiring.
Oh, good for you.
Wait. The community center is closing?
No, no, it's just, uh
Just gettin' a new director.
- Isabella!
- Izzy!
That's great news, child.
I'm sorry, Mama.
But bein' a hairdresser isn't my dream.
No, it's your job.
It's called life.
It's not my life.
You are so much like your father.
I know.
I love you.
I love you.
- Mama. Come here.
- Oh, Nonna.
What are you doin'?
Just riding a horse.
You know, whenever I travel,
I like to blend in.
But the wedding.
It was canceled.
So, there's something I have to confess.
I haven't been completely honest with you.
That night that we went into town
and you accused me of giving you the look?
Well, I was giving you that look.
And I wanna look at you like that
for the rest of my life.
You are the stars.
The light of my life
I've always looked for.
we can change the world.
Your Italian isn't that rusty.
I've been practicing.
I told you you love him!
- It's so beautiful.
- Oh, my God! Did I or did I not call it?
I called it, right?
- I think I'm psychic.
- No, I said it too.
When you were walking along,
we saw you two.
We were like...
I felt it right from the start.
May I offer you a ride?
Where to?
Well, I promised the horse some gelato.
Would you like some?
Got any money?
Oh. Mmm.
I got you covered.
You better hope you ride that horse
better than you drive a truck.
I will try.
- I love you, Wally.
- I love you.