The Royal We (2025) Movie Script
Excellent, Your Highness.
Beautiful.
Your Highness, would you
raise your chin ever so?
Uh, I do apologize.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I assumed you were
talking to me.
I thought...
When he said Your Highness, I...
No, no, no.
Not at all.
You speak.
No, you first.
I insist.
Thank you.
Since we are both heirs
to our respective thrones,
perhaps Your Highness might
not be the most helpful
of addresses.
In the interest
of efficiency over protocol,
might I suggest Prince
Desmond and Princess Coralina
for the time being?
Would that be amenable,
Your Highness?
Yes.
Excellent suggestion,
Your Highness.
Wonderful.
Please go ahead.
Very well, Prince Desmond.
Would you raise
your chin ever so?
Could I possibly get a touch up?
Sir, I've drafted
an article for the media.
Clear, please.
Thank you.
After some intros, it
reads, "The royal houses
of the monarchy of Vostieri
and the kingdom of Androvia
announce the merging
of their royal lines
with the engagement of the Crown
Princess Coralina Eugenia
of Vostieri to Crown
Prince Desmond Carlyle.
Both houses hope this
joyous occasion will forge
a path towards
reunification, thus easing
centuries' old tensions
regarding the ownership
of the Alsinian province.
Yes, that's fine.
Although, we should
perhaps include
something about the date.
Say that the wedding
takes place in two months.
Oh, and perhaps
a cheerful mention
of the historical
and beautiful Castle Elora's
the location of the nuptials.
Both prized suggestions.
Princess Coralina,
perhaps you could
move your hand onto
his arms so that we
can see the yellow alexandrite?
Quite.
May I?
Here we go.
Perfect.
I believe we have it.
Everything all
right there, Edwin?
Never better, sir.
Merely attending to something
that was crying out to be done.
You just seem a little
upset by this turn of events.
I find this deeply offensive
for two reasons, sir.
Firstly, it is a breach of
protocol of the highest order.
And secondly, if royalty
cannot be expected to hold
their commitments,
what example does
that set for the rest of us?
But here I am, not
attending to your heartbreak
after such treacherous perfidy.
How you must feel
having a fiancee
so callously break off your
engagement by eloping with a...
a plumber.
You must be devastated.
As devastated as one
can be about someone
they've only met two
and a half times, I suppose.
How can one meet
someone half a time?
Oh, there was a video
call that kept freezing.
Very awkward.
Oh.
Do try to keep in mind, Edwin,
that this marriage was purely
a diplomatic union to shore
up political relations
between the two countries.
It was arranged
by our grandfathers
long before we were even born.
I do worry, though, without
the merger of the two houses
where this territorial
dispute might lead.
Still, she returned
the ring promptly.
Please make sure that gets
back to the royal vault.
Of course, sir.
And your parents are
expecting you at breakfast.
Be warned, your father is not
taking this as calmly as you,
sir.
Betrayal!
Utter betrayal!
This is an outright provocation!
Well, I hardly
think it's up there
with the killing of Archduke
Franz Ferdinand, Father.
I'm sorry, darling.
Who's been killed?
An Austrian fellow, Mama.
World War I.
Oh.
If things get worse,
I'm sure the Vostieris
could blame us for that too.
Although, one might wonder
how much this is political
and how much this is personal.
, were you not once
friends with King Winston?
Well, that was when we
were schoolboys, which seems
entirely beside the point.
His daughter has pushed
us to the very brink.
Father, it's 8
o'clock in the morning.
I entreat you to find
a diplomatic solution to this
and try to think of a plan B.
Oh.
Princess Coralina's
elopement was most untimely.
Not sure what we're
going to do now.
It's just too bad
that our royal air
force consists of two
helicopters and the private jet.
We won't be going to war, Edwin.
There has to be
a better solution.
Didn't Princess Coralina
have a younger sister?
I believe so, Your Highness.
Yes, I recall now.
Princess Beatrix.
She dropped out of sight
after some public blowback
to a picture in the press.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I remember
that picture, actually.
If you scroll
down, you'll notice
there's a great deal
of commentary on her appearance.
I shouldn't laugh.
The poor child was
absolutely crucified.
No wonder she disappeared.
It was 20 years ago now.
Do you want me
to track her down, sir?
Arrangements for a royal
wedding back underway?
Do you know, I can't
think of a better solution.
We'll be asking her
to make a great sacrifice.
I know.
Not as big as sacrifices
as we'd be asking our subjects
to make if our fathers can't put
aside centuries of grievances.
Do it.
Let's just hope
she's not secretly
dating the palace electrician.
I'm hideous.
Don't come in.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
Oh, trust me,
it's an absolute disaster.
I'm using my key.
Big meeting today.
We are so going to land it.
Oh, man, it smells
awful in here.
What happened?
Why is it so dark?
We need some light
in this situation.
Uh, honey, I am really sorry
that this is happening,
but I gave you the entire
weekend to be a puddle.
I even gave you
my emergency breakup kit.
It was an emergency.
It was a breakup.
It's in the name.
I mean, Jared dumped me by text
for a reality show influencer.
Well, I know, and he's
a really big jerk
and has no idea what he lost.
But what do we tell our girls?
We are women of substance.
And we overcome
substantial challenges.
Good girl.
Now, I know this is bad timing,
but we have that
final presentation
to the Brahmin
League this morning.
And you know that
this investment
can secure our program
for the next two years.
I know.
Yeah.
Where's your phone?
I need to double
check the address.
Oh, I don't exactly
know where it is.
I was afraid I'd
misery dial Jared,
so probably between
the pint of ice cream
and the two boxes of milk duds.
OK.
Calling it.
Oh, now I remember.
Here.
Uh, you have two dozen missed
calls from the same number.
Is it Jared realizing he
made a terrible mistake?
No, it is plus 56.
That's a foreign prefix.
You don't suppose
there's a prince who
needs your help getting
millions of dollars
out of the country, right?
Anyway, we should get
you into the shower,
because we don't
want the villagers
to come with
the pitchforks and torches.
Well, it's Boston.
There's no villagers.
We have Bruins fans.
Same thing.
Less forgiving.
It's that same number calling.
Do you want me to get it?
I love messing with scammers.
Oh, uh, no, you're good.
Do you want to make
us some coffees?
- Yeah, sure.
- OK.
Hello?
Who was it?
You called it.
Nigerian prince wants my help,
but he works in Bitcoin now.
Fancy.
I'll call us an Uber.
How long?
Says it should be here.
Oh, OK.
Uh, is that guy watching
us through binoculars?
Just another birdwatcher.
Yeah.
Birding is very hip right now.
Sir, it's her.
The Allied STEM Foundation
for Young Women not only
provides vital education and
mentoring in STEM coursework
for underserved girls,
but we also teach leadership
skills through workshops,
such as emotional intelligence,
communication styles,
and conflict resolution.
This generous grant from
the Brahmin League would.
Be so beneficial
you wouldn't just
be making a difference in the
lives of these young women,
you'd be investing
in the future.
Thank you.
I couldn't tell if Mrs.
Standish loved or hated us.
She was as expressive
as dried concrete.
You know, she reminded me
of my paternal grandmother.
She always did this
thing where she'd...
Don't look, but I think that
same guy is across the park.
Which guy?
I told you not to look.
Chloe, out of curiosity, how
many true crime documentaries
did you watch this weekend?
Maybe half of one while
I was doing laundry.
OK, three.
But I swear that guy
followed us here.
OK, well, let's...
let's just turn the corner.
Good plan.
I'll send a simple
handwritten thank
you note and leave it at that.
Ooh, breaking
out the stationery.
I like it.
Very classy.
Well, we just don't want
her to think we're desperate.
Aren't we desperate, though?
No.
We give it a couple of months
and we'll be desperate adjacent.
Uh, I know you think
I'm being paranoid,
but there is a black
van following us.
No, no, don't turn around.
Jeez, you would be
the worst spy ever.
Well, I'm sure there's no
reason to panic just yet.
Why don't we cut through here?
We are definitely
being followed.
I should have really,
really, really
paid those parking tickets.
Oh, wait.
It went past.
- OK, we're good.
We'll just cross the street up
here and cut through the park
to the office.
OK.
Whoa!
My mom was right.
I moved to the big
city, and now we're
going to end up on Dateline!
OK, we'll just go the other way.
OK.
This is real!
We're going to get kidnapped!
Or murdered.
Or kidnapped and murdered!
OK, I think I'm
the one they want.
You'll be fine.
Just stay back.
You will not get
through to my friend
unless you go through me first.
Hiya!
Wait, what is happening?
It's OK.
I just need to go with them.
Well, I'm not letting you
get kidnapped without me.
Bea, what's going on?
I'm not exactly sure.
OK, that.
Since when do you speak French?
OK, there are some
details I never told
you about me and my family.
You said your family was boring.
Wait, are they in the mafia?
Have you been lying to me?
No, they're not in the mafia,
and no, I haven't lied to you.
And yes, my family is boring,
just in a very specific way.
Like my mother, she's...
You said she's a housewife
who does volunteer work.
Which is true.
It's just that her house
is kind of a palace,
and she's kind
of the queen there.
OK, so your mom is fancy
and you guys have a big house.
No, it's really a palace.
Palace.
But you said your dad was
a government administrator.
Right.
It's just that my father
is also the king
of Vostieri, which
is technically
an administrative position.
So you're not Bea Halston?
No, no, I still am your best
friend from sophomore year.
It's just my full
name is Beatrix Ileana
Halston Von Lindmore Eugard.
But some people refer
to me as Princess Beatrix.
That makes me the bestie
of Princess Beatrix of...
how do you pronounce
your country's name again?
Oh, thank you.
Are you sure you're
a princess, though?
Because we like boxed wine.
Also, we go to that
discount pedicure place,
so you don't sound
like a princess.
I took a year
of intense diction classes
to master your accent.
Accent?
I don't have an accent.
Do I?
Wow.
Do you think this is
one of those kidnappings
where we can get room service?
We haven't actually
been kidnapped.
Oh, but when I tell the story,
and I will tell the story,
there will be
kidnapping involved.
Your Highness.
I don't think he's
the one you say that to.
Your Royal Highness,
it is my honor
to introduce to you
Prince Desmond,
Crown Prince of Androvia.
Seriously?
Wow.
Your Royal Highness.
It is a great honor
to make your acquaintance.
Certainly.
The pleasure is all
ours, Your Majesty.
May we present our companion,
Miss Chloe Hargraves.
Miss Hargraves, an honor to
make your acquaintance as well.
Likewise, I'm sure, Your
Gracious Majesty, Sire, Royal...
That's not a thing.
OK, got it.
We've been trying throughout
the weekend, Princess,
to make contact with you
through phone calls and email.
We were inconvenient
as of the weekend
and not accepting
correspondence.
Understood.
Well, then, perhaps we might
confer more privately now.
Prince Desmond, since
we are outnumbered
and at a political
disadvantage, we
would insist that our friend
bear witness to whatever
conversation shall ensue.
Very well.
Since the dissolution of a
united Vestrovia some 300 years
ago, there has been
an ongoing dispute regarding
rightful ownership
of the Alsinian province and
the Castle Elora.
It is our hope that
Her Highness is
aware of elevated tensions
between Androvia and Vostieri
on this matter.
Is it the intention
of His Highness
to educate us on the history and
situation in our own homeland?
Well, given that
Her Highness has
been absent from her royal
duties for some 20 years,
one was not to presume
anything about what
sort of connection she may
or may not have with Vestrovia.
As a matter
of fact, we are fully
aware of the crown
prince's failed engagement
to our sister, Coralina.
May we offer our belated
congratulations and condolences.
How very kind of Your Highness.
Although, perhaps that failure
is a matter best discussed
with one's own sister.
And when doing so, please
do extend our heartiest
congratulations on her
recent nuptials to a plumber,
I believe.
- Indeed.
It will be so lovely having
a member of the royal family
who actually has a useful skill.
But I doubt His Majesty
came all this way
to discuss failed engagements.
We can't help but wonder
if there is perhaps
a point to this meeting.
Indeed, there is.
In fact, the entire point of the
aforementioned failed engagement
was to form an alliance through
marriage between the ruling
houses of Duvalier
and Vostieri in the hopes
that we might form
a legitimate path
towards a reunited
Vestrovia, and thus prevent
further escalation of tensions.
Understood.
But since that plan did
not come to fruition,
we are loath to consider what
alternative might be proposed.
Interesting choice of verbiage.
Perhaps, in the light
of the state of this meeting,
His Highness may
prefer not to proceed.
His Highness has
very little choice.
Since Princess Coralina was
required to abdicate her claim
to the throne
by marrying a commoner,
it would seem that you
are now crown princess.
And as crown prince
of Androvia, it
is my great honor
to most graciously
seek your hand in marriage.
So that happened.
OK, what is with
all the accents?
I've known you for 20 years.
Have you been pretending
this whole time?
Who's the real you?
This is Bea, your best
friend since college.
This is Princess Beatrix Ileana
Halston Von Lindmore Eugard
of Vostieri.
And I suppose this
is me, Beatrix, who
is also in a bit of a pickle.
It must be exhausting
to be all of those people.
Just be you.
Thank goodness.
Besides, I don't think
you're in a pickle.
Friday, your boyfriend
dumps you by text,
and then Monday,
another guy flies
2,000 miles to propose to you.
And not just any other guy.
A crown prince proposed to you.
Best rebound ever.
And you turned him down cold.
You truly are a girlboss.
Ugh, Androvians.
They're so pushy and arrogant I
bet it was his grandfather who
came up with the age-old
solution of intermarriage
in the first place.
Is that really the only option?
My sister says there's a
summit between our two kingdoms
in a few days,
so surely my father
will come up with a better
solution than marrying me off
to some polo playing prince.
Is there a chance that maybe
you're judging him a little bit
harshly?
Look at this.
OK.
There he is, looking
princely and...
wait, is that your sister?
She's so pretty.
Right?
Yeah, I've only heard
that my whole childhood.
Your sister's so pretty.
Touched a nerve, did we?
Sorry.
But that's not the photo
I'm talking about.
It's... it's this one.
This one, and this
one, and this one.
OK, I don't think
I've actually ever seen
anyone playing polo before.
Do you remember
in college when we
vowed never to date a golf bro?
Ugh, golf.
Well, polo bros, they're,
like, 100 times worse.
I'm sure he's the type who
never shuts up about it.
He looks pretty cute
on a horse, though.
Oh, the Vostieris.
They're all so pushy
and arrogant.
One might have thought
that the princess would have
been much more
appreciative, given
all the trouble you've gone to.
I mean, haven't I
kept a low profile?
Indeed.
Just the private jet.
Skeletal staff.
Of 12.
I've taken all the trouble to
come here, completely incognito,
and meet this rogue princess
to offer her the only way that I
can see out of a dire
situation, only to be informed
that she is inconvenienced.
In my opinion, sir, when she
said she must politely decline,
I didn't think she
was being that polite.
Then again, sir, it seems your
father has agreed to a summit
meeting with King Winston.
Perhaps clearer heads
will prevail at last.
One can only hope, Edwin.
Richmond, it's been ages
since I've seen you in person.
And yet, somehow,
not long enough.
You're looking so much older.
Some of us are
comfortable in our own skin.
Speaking of your skin, I'm sure
Leupinia would love the name
of your plastic surgeon.
Your Highnesses,
might I suggest we start
with an official photograph?
Happy to.
Certainly.
Might I suggest
as well shaking of hands?
Why, Winston, your handshake
feels just as weak as when we
were boys in boarding school.
Would you say as weak
as your economic recovery?
Or as weak
as your foreign policy?
Well, certainly nothing could
be as weak as your central bank.
That bad, huh?
I told Papa not to let King
Richmond push his buttons.
Papa said he's not a machine.
He doesn't have buttons.
He's never been
great with metaphors.
We are quite literal people.
Well, since the summit
was a failure,
that does leave you in a rather
delicate position.
If you were to reconsider and
accept the prince's proposal,
it might help settle
things, just until there
could be a diplomatic solution.
I realize I have no room
to tell you what to do,
and I'm so sorry I didn't
give you any warning
before my elopement.
But it was sudden
and crazy and perhaps
the first unpremeditated,
selfish thing I've ever done.
Are you having regrets?
Are you kidding?
This is the happiest I've
been in my entire life.
I won't begrudge you that.
I'm not thrilled
by the change in my situation,
but you've allowed me
to live a very private
life for a very long time.
I suppose I could reconsider
and accept his proposal,
but only in the hopes that we
can come to a better solution.
You are being most
gracious about all of this.
I just want you to know it's
not lost on me.
I appreciate that.
Somebody got
croissants from Monica's.
I've got to go, but please
give my love to Mummy and Papa,
OK?
When you used to say that
your sister was a princess,
I thought she was just spoiled.
But now that I know
she's an actual princess,
it's kind of weird.
Things are definitely weird,
and the summit, not a success.
So does that mean you're
reconsidering the engagement?
I think I have to.
Come on, what do
we tell our girls?
Once we decide what needs
to be done, we do it.
Everybody's watching
Everybody's waiting
Greetings, Your Highness.
Prince Desmond is
momentarily detained.
I see.
Are we sure this isn't
one of those things
where I am to be kept waiting
as a subtle power play?
Honestly, Your Highness,
do you read this much
into every interaction?
Only ones this fraught.
How refreshingly blunt you are.
And how craftily ironic you are.
I don't know
if this is an attempt
to intimidate me or charm me.
It is my attempt to cut
through the royal double talk.
If it's charm you're looking
for, you have the wrong sister.
Welcome.
Would Your Highness
care to join us?
Are we meeting in your bedroom?
Oh, goodness, no.
We thought we might have
supper on the balcony
with Your Highness.
Indeed.
But in the interest
of direct communication,
may we please stop
speaking in the royal we?
Yes, we can.
I mean, yes, you and I can.
Please.
Thank you.
Oh, no, wait.
Sorry, I'm confused.
I was told that you had
reconsidered my proposal.
Well, yes.
In light of the failure
of the recent summit,
I find myself so inclined.
OK.
It's just, you surprised me.
I thought we'd go out on a date.
I think we're a little
bit beyond dating
territory, aren't we?
Yes, but just something
a little more romantic.
Ah.
Candles, the moonlight,
those little flowers.
Thought this was romantic.
It's fine.
Princess, I may be naive
when it comes to affairs
of the heart, but I
do know enough to know
that when a woman says
something is fine,
then it doesn't mean it's good.
I did put some
thought into this.
Yes, your wait staff
did a lovely job.
Now, why does that
sound like a slight?
- I don't want to argue.
- It was definitely a slight.
I just thought we could go
out to a restaurant, that's all.
A restaurant?
I'm sorry.
I'm just having
trouble even picturing
what that would look like.
I suppose we could ask Edwin to
put together a security detail.
Could we discuss this privately?
By all means.
Ah.
Would you mind giving
us a few moments?
I'm sorry, I'm just
attended on so often I
forget that they're even there.
Let's run out for pizza.
I'm sorry, Princess.
I don't think you understood.
I'm saying that we can't
do that without security.
No, I don't think
you understand.
Where does that door go?
According
to the security briefing,
to some service
elevator, I think.
So?
Let's run out for pizza.
Really?
Could we really do that?
Look, in Boston, I'm
a nobody, at least until we
announce our engagement.
And I don't think
anyone's up to date
with princes from small
European monarchies.
Well, I have featured
on some quite prominent
eligible bachelor lists.
If we scruff you up a bit,
we might look like just
a normal couple out for a date.
It's just I've never really
done anything like that before.
Well, tonight might
be our last chance.
The princess and I are at a
very delicate and tense stage
of diplomatic negotiations.
We'd very much like
to be left alone.
Indeed, sir.
Alone, Edwin.
Remember, if anyone
asks, you're a PhD student.
Why can't I just
be a local Bostonian?
Well, first, because they're
called townies, and second,
because you don't have sweats.
I remind you that
the purpose of this trip
was to propose to a princess.
I didn't think sweats
would be appropriate.
So you have sweats?
Well, at least you
know what those are,
so that's encouraging.
Oh, may I?
There.
Do I look like
an astronomy student?
Look at you with the backstory.
Astronomer?
I like it.
Personal interest?
I dabble.
All right.
Now or never, I suppose.
Exactly.
Take a breath.
We're sneaking out for pizza,
not nuclear secrets.
Where are we going anyway?
This place Chloe and I
used to go in grad school.
The pizza is so greasy, but it's
so good, and the beer is cold.
Oh, you like beer, right?
- Oh, yeah.
I'll have you know that we
have some excellent breweries
in Androvia, so yes,
I do drink beer.
How sheltered do you think I am?
Cool hats.
That looks good on you.
Thank you.
Yes?
Oh, yeah.
I suppose I have
to pay for this.
Yes.
One second.
I... the thing is I don't
actually have any money.
I've never carried
a wallet before.
And that's exactly how
sheltered I think you are.
Don't worry.
Tonight's on me.
Well, in that case,
we'll take this as well.
Thanks.
To going off the tether.
Hm.
Hm.
You know, I've never been
allowed to make foolish mistakes
or youthful indiscretions.
My whole life's been
so meticulously planned.
Even my polo playing,
it's all orchestrated.
Polo?
But I've seen the pictures.
No, it's an annual photo
shoot against a green screen.
In fact, I've fallen
off so many horses
that I'm expressly
forbidden, in the interests
of protecting the royal lineage,
from being on horseback.
But I thought
Androvians were supposed
to be legendary polo players?
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You were right.
This is absolutely fantastic.
It's called bowling.
Do you want to try it?
Bowling, you say?
Yeah.
Let's give it a go.
OK.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Oh.
That was good, right?
It's been a while.
OK, your turn.
Uh, you might want
to step back a little bit.
Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back.
And remember what I told you.
So you hold the ball up,
wind back, take a few steps,
and release.
Are you kidding?
That was great.
Thank you.
Don't leave me hanging.
Oh, yeah, that thing you do.
Excuse me.
When you knock all the things
down, is that what you do?
You do that little dance?
I mean, you know, it
doesn't happen all the time,
but when it does,
you've got to celebrate.
All right.
Hey!
Well done.
Don't leave me hanging.
Am I picking up
date night vibes?
I know that look.
I know that look.
Hey, baby.
Come on.
Let's buy them a round.
Oh, we just came
back from our honeymoon
ourselves, so stay right there.
Let me strike in.
You jerk.
You've been messing
with me this whole time.
You assumed that I didn't
know what bowling was.
You didn't say
you were good at it.
I didn't say that I wasn't.
But you think that I'm
hopeless and sheltered.
I'd say this one's on you.
OK, maybe I had that coming.
I don't get it.
You don't play polo,
but you're this bowling champ?
That's completely true.
Yes, when mechanized
bowling was first invented,
it became something
of a sensation in Androvia.
And my great
grandfather, who insisted
that we be modern
in all things, he
built a two-lane alley
in the basement of the palace.
I discovered it when I
was in my early teens.
When my royal duties became just
too much to bear, that alley,
it became a refuge for me.
Well, considering
how good you are,
you must have spent
a lot of time there.
You're not the only one who
had a difficult time adjusting.
Here we go.
Ah.
Thank you.
Yes.
Hey, guys, do you
have a car or should we
drop you off someplace?
Oh, that's so nice of you,
but I think that's our Uber just
pulling around now.
Oh, well, it was really
fun meeting you guys.
I hope we can get
together again.
We've been trying to make
more couple friends.
We could have couple friends.
Well, you guys
have our contacts,
so let's try to keep in touch.
All right.
That's my wife.
Don't mind her.
She's a hugger.
OK, bye.
Great to meet you.
- You too.
- Pleasure meeting you.
Yeah, it was great
to meet you both.
- Bye.
- Bye.
See you around.
This is just
the night that I needed.
I have to admit it, I can't
remember the last time
I had this much fun.
Oh.
"Androvian crown
prince unaccounted for.
Kidnapping, not ruled out,
claims personal assistant."
I think we're in trouble.
Where have you been, sir?
I've been worried
sick and entertaining
the most dire possibilities.
Such as what, Edwin?
Kidnapping attempt?
No.
In fact, we just went
out for a little pizza.
Pizza can be delivered.
This is quite unlike you, sir.
I'm so sorry.
This is my fault.
No, it isn't.
I went of my own free will.
And for your information, I
had rather a fantastic time.
Well, that seems
entirely beside the point.
Well, I'll inform the king
and queen that you have
not been abducted as feared.
Now, it would seem that the best
way to defuse this escalation
in tensions would be
to announce your engagement
as soon as possible.
So, Princess Beatrice, you
will be back here at 9:00 AM
sharp for your official photo.
I have a meeting.
Your Highness, I
realize this must all
feel like a terrible
inconvenience for you,
but you were almost
in the middle
of an international
incident this evening.
Through no fault of her own.
Be that as it
may, we need to push
things along here for the people
of both your countries.
Thank you, Your Highnesses.
We'll send a car in the morning.
No.
Oh, that's ghastly, darling.
Ma cherie, you can't
wear any of those.
They'll think he's
marrying an American.
Seeing your wardrobe is
making me feel quite sad,
like we haven't supported you.
Well, that was the whole point.
I wanted to support myself.
And I didn't mean
to make you sad.
This is supposed
to be good news.
Of course I'm pleased.
You're doing your country
a great service.
And, personally, I'm thrilled
to have my baby closer to home.
But I just hate to think...
Hate to think what?
I know how hard-won
your privacy has been.
I fear we're letting you down.
Making sacrifices for the
greater good is what we do,
Mama.
You married Papa at 20.
What was that like?
I'll admit, it was
quite an adjustment.
But then again, I was raised
for this sort of thing.
You, ma cherie, you're
educated and accomplished,
but I fear you're unprepared.
Well, you've supported
everything I've ever done,
so that's the best preparation
I could ever hope for.
Perhaps.
Then again, we
prepared Coralina,
and look how that turned out.
Well, I hate to cut this short,
but I think my car's going
to arrive any minute.
Give my love to Papa.
Of course.
OK.
Right.
You won't be needing
whatever's in there.
Follow me.
How are we progressing?
I just worry that all
of this, it's not me.
Well, Your Highness,
if I may, you have
not been for over two decades.
By that, I mean Princess
Beatrix of Vostieri.
Now, she's in there somewhere,
and we mean to find her,
no matter how long it takes.
Now, everyone,
let's get this done.
Your Highnesses, can you
get closer together, please?
Can you switch sides, please?
Could we see the yellow
alexandrite, please?
Oh, wow.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I think they're finally leaving.
I'm so glad you're here.
It's been chaos.
Thank you.
I know.
It's crazy, right?
I kind of just miss that
one guy with binoculars.
Anyway, have you
checked your work email?
Suddenly, the Brahmin
League can't
wait to be in business with us.
And you have invitations
to a bunch of galas.
Well, don't tell my mother.
She'll send gowns.
Ooh.
You think she'll send me one?
If only we could take advantage,
but, unfortunately, there's
bigger issues brewing at home.
Now that I know that
this isn't your home,
I've been doing some research.
Your foreign minister
has been stoking quite
a bit of nationalistic fervor,
which seems ironic, considering
the fact that the Androvians
and Vostieris used to be
one big country originally.
So it's sort of like
the Capulets and the Montagues,
or Ewing and Barnes.
But if they were one
big country originally,
then why did they separate?
Well, it was 300 years ago.
The king died
without a clear heir,
two families lay
claim to the throne,
and it created this big
mess, which eventually
divided the countries.
So now, in order
to calm the rhetoric,
Desmond and I have to turn
on the charm offensive.
His jet leaves for Androvia
tomorrow night.
So clear your schedule
and pack your bags.
You want me to come with you?
No, I need you to come with me.
I feel like things are
about to get very weird,
and I need someone I
can trust in my corner.
And I can't think
of anyone else I'd rather
have as my maid of honor.
Seriously?
I'd be so honored.
Yay!
I'm showing up
for the trip in a scarf
and big Jackie O sunglasses.
OK.
Oh, hi.
Miss Hargreaves.
Always a pleasure.
I heard you were joining us.
I sure am.
It's hard to imagine
flying without putting
my shoes in a tub first.
Indeed.
Hello, Edwin.
Your Highness.
Ah, this will not do.
This you might find
a little more appropriate.
Oh.
That looks a bit
much for travel.
And the Androvian jet awaits us.
Do you think it's as posh
as we see in magazines?
I love free food.
We have all amenities onboard.
Food service, chilled
champagne, and in-flight TV.
In fact, His Highness has asked
that we screen his favorite film
this evening, The Big Lebowski
Oh.
That tracks.
The dude abides.
Indeed he does.
Just give us your best
smile, Your Highness,
and hightail for the van.
Come on.
Yes, very good.
Very good.
Oh.
Hello.
Hi.
Miss Hargraves, come.
I want to be the king of it all
I want to have a good
time, good time
So give it to me
Give it to me Give it to me
Give it to me
Oh, oh, the king of it all
I want to have a good
time, good time
Give it to me
Give it to me
Give it to me
Wow
Want it and you got it
Cool.
Your Majesties, might
I present my fiancee,
Princess Beatrix Ileana Halston
Von Lindmore Eugard of Vostieri.
And, Princess, might I introduce
the royal family of Androvia.
My father, King Richmond,
and my mother, Queen Leupinia.
It's a pleasure to make
your acquaintances.
You're quite a bit
taller than the other one.
Yes, Your Majesty.
My apologies for that.
Hm.
Oh, that's quite all right.
You don't need to unpack for me.
OK, please proceed.
You know, there is
a nice lady unpacking
my underwear
into a lavender-scented
tissue paper drawer.
I thought we were only
staying one night.
Well, we're supposed to do
a tour of Castle Elora tomorrow.
Oh.
Oh, no.
OK.
Your Highness, Miss
Hargraves, in an effort
to win over Androvians, we've
planned a photo op for an hour
from now.
It will be very simple.
You and the prince will go out
the front entry of the palace,
descend the steps,
and wave to a select group
of locals and photographers,
who will be
gathered outside of the gate.
Then you will return
to the palace.
Easy as that.
Should we perhaps
go outside the gate
and greet them personally?
Goodness, no.
We merely want them
to get a look at you.
We've timed it so the sun will
be perfect for your angular
angles.
But no selfies,
and there will be
no tabloid photographers there.
You will wear these, and this
will be the gown you're wearing.
That looks a tad long.
There won't be time
for a proper hem.
We'll get a seamstress to pop
in a couple of stitches
and hope for the best,
all right?
Whoa.
He's like Cinderella's
fairy godmother.
If she didn't like
Cinderella in the least.
It's like being
13 all over again.
Except this time I'm a meme
that will last forever.
Hey, what do we tell our girls?
You are the author
of your own story.
Don't let others
control your narrative.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm jet lagged, and I
didn't expect tagging along
with royalty to be so tiring.
Also, that bed in there
is calling my name.
Did you know those sheets are
hand-stitched by Italian nuns
who are selected
for their tiny hands?
I looked it up.
OK, you go get some sleep.
And remember, we'll laugh
about this in the morning.
Well, I hope so.
Night.
Night, night.
Can I help you
with something, lass?
Just, we're not supposed
to have visitors
this late in the kitchen.
Sorry to bother.
I couldn't sleep, and I thought
maybe a cup of chamomile tea
might help.
Ah, you must be the American
friend of the princess.
You could have just
rung down for it.
Actually, I'm the princess
friend of the American.
Oh.
I didn't recognize
you, Your Highness.
Well, you must have missed
today's latest internet story.
Don't worry about those photos.
Come on.
Oh, you're in luck.
Kettle's still hot.
Thank you.
You know, when I married my
Humphrey, I didn't eat for days.
And by the time the priests
were giving us our vows,
I faint dead away.
Vulgata over gums
right off the altar.
Humphrey couldn't find the top
half of me for all the tulle.
But by the time reception
were in full swing, even
I were laughing at it.
And I think it's
good for the people
to see that royals
are human too.
If anyone's asking my opinion.
Oh, sorry.
How can I help
you, Your Highness?
Straight away, Your Highness.
Kettle's just boiled.
Would you allow me to take it?
We can't have a princess
going about like a kitchen maid.
Oh, no one will mind.
And I am his fiancee, after all.
Well, against
my better judgment,
I don't suppose it could hurt.
Enter.
Thank you.
You can just set my tea
on the side table there.
By all means, Your Highness.
What... what are you
doing in my bedroom?
What, so it's OK
for your kitchen maid
to see you in your pajamas
but not your own fiancee?
No, it's just you startled me.
I wasn't expecting you.
Why are you delivering my tea?
Well, I too couldn't
sleep, so I imposed
myself on your kitchen staff.
Ah.
Then you managed
to make it up the stairs
all right without falling over?
Why couldn't you sleep?
I'm just trying to take mind
off the lurking suspicion that
responsibility
for de-escalating the situation
seems to have fallen
entirely on our shoulders.
I know.
Well, there's a book
I can give you
called Economies of Conflict,
which might explain why.
I've read that book.
Yeah, thought it was quite good.
You didn't tell me why
you were not sleeping.
I'm making a mess of things.
No, you're not.
This is how it's always been
for me, always a little off.
I'm trying to be better.
Less how I am naturally.
I wish you wouldn't.
I like you just how you are.
You should teach a class on
authenticity at princess school.
You laugh, but that is
part of the leadership
program at my foundation.
Yes, I heard about that.
Girls in STEM, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Tell me about it.
OK, Your Highness.
But just remember, you asked.
Consider, if you will, the
messages we send our children.
Throughout history,
only half the population
has ever been invited
to adventure, explore, and
engage in the world,
half the time actively
creating issues in their wake.
You mean men like
our grandfathers?
Precisely.
Now consider the stories
we tell our girls.
It's usually some
put upon princess
forced to marry a dull prince.
I'm not sure how I feel
about that description.
My point is, the story
usually ends at her marriage,
never to be spoken of again.
But what if the princess was
prepared to think not just
about her advantageous
marriage, but
the problems facing her society
and their possible solutions?
Princess being metaphorical
in our case, of course.
In Chloe's case.
Yes.
So we opened it up to any
girl who had the mind for it.
We gave them
the opportunity, the access,
the tools, so we can reframe
the narrative for the future.
Interesting.
Right?
Wait, which part?
The part where you,
an actual princess,
were forced to marry
a prince, because that's
what princesses do when
they're faced with problems
in their societies.
Except this prince
isn't very dull.
Ready for this?
Everything all right?
I'm just doing
what you suggested
and being authentically myself.
Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Lovely to meet you.
Princess, please
can I take selfie?
Oh, of course, yes.
Should we take a selfie?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh.
Hello there.
Thank you so much.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Your Highness, the Vostieris
have arrived early.
There's already some
scuttlebutt about which family
gets the room with
the sun, so can you
and the princess please
return to the castle
before things escalate?
All right.
Goodbye, everyone.
Thank you.
See, you did it.
Ready to meet my family?
I can't wait.
Don't get too excited.
- Ma cherie.
- Hello.
Bea.
You're here.
Well, I'm just so glad
to finally see you, my darling.
I was afraid those
awful Androvians
had taken you hostage
and were keeping
you from your loving family.
Darling, what have you
been doing to your hair?
I love it.
Oh, well, it's not
as perfect as.
Stop.
Don't even get me started.
I am a wreck.
Ah.
But please allow me
to introduce you to my husband.
You must be...
I am.
The plumber, yes.
But you can call me Cody.
I've been looking
forward to meeting you.
I've only got two brothers,
so it will delight
me to have you as a sister.
How lovely.
May I introduce Miss
Chloe Hargraves, my friend
and foundation partner.
It's such a pleasure to be
joined by another commoner.
We should form
an alliance, you and I, no?
I get it now.
What a surprise it was upon
hearing about your early arrival
here.
I'm sure you know what
it's like to suddenly crave
the fresh air
of the mountains, especially
since your capital is a seaport
and does smell so of fish.
Unlike your capital, which
smells of old cheese and
disappointment.
Your Majesties,
may we invite you
to proceed to the dining hall?
Oh, all right.
Smell?
Prince Desmond, any comment
on your second engagement
in two months?
Only to say that I'm entirely
delighted by the circumstances
that have brought Princess
Beatrix and I together.
And, Princess Beatrix,
any comments on the fact
that your approval ratings
in Androvia have gone up 73%?
Has it?
I'm afraid things have been
quite topsy turvy lately,
so I wasn't aware.
Your Highness.
Princess Princess.
Princess Coralina, are
you at all disappointed
that you're sacrificing becoming
queen by marrying a commoner?
Well, real love is
never a sacrifice.
Aw.
Excuse me.
Are you a member
of one of the families?
No, I'm Chloe.
I'm the best friend
of the bride.
Wrap it up.
Miss Hargraves, at the risk
of appearing chivalrous,
might I escort you inside?
Will this start a rumor
that we're dating?
Perish the thought.
Did you hear him?
The nerve, implying that simply
because our beautiful capital
is also a seaport that
it smells like fish.
Absurd.
Of course, dear.
But then again, you don't
stray that far from the palace,
but I get out and about with
my charity work at times,
and I dare say the docks on the
far side of the harbor, well,
they do have a certain
aromatic quality.
Oh, darling.
Do try the Brie.
It's exquisite.
Wow.
Vostierian cheese.
Some of the best in the world.
Look at him down there.
So smug.
Cheese and disappointment.
He's the one who'd know what
disappointment smells like.
Darling, with all your fretting,
you're letting
your ceviche get cold.
Ceviche is always cold, Mama.
You're right.
Which one do I mean?
Oh, I don't know offhand,
but you really must try it.
It's quite delicious.
I do hope after the wedding,
we get more Androvian seafood.
How are you adjusting
to your return to public life?
You know, perhaps I can
relate on a small level.
Until I married
your sister, unless water
was spraying from a faucet,
no one cared what I did.
I must say, it's been
quite disorienting.
I'm not used
to being fussed over.
It's all this
poking and prodding
and focus
on my appearance, which
takes some getting used to.
Well, perhaps I can sympathize.
I have found it a little
unsettling for myself also.
The work I do is with
my hands, not my face.
Why should this matter?
Oh, it matters.
Right?
I suppose that dinner
went as well as expected.
At least no one threw anything.
Small blessings, right?
I just hope the wedding
goes half as well.
It will.
Oh, girl, you always
beat me at this game.
I don't even know why I try.
Here, just take the whole deck.
Take it.
I am going to go
and Insta stalk Cody,
see if he has any brothers.
Good luck.
Nighty night.
Night.
We have to stop these
late night rendezvous
or else people
will start to talk,
and then we shall
have to get married.
Can you imagine?
I want to show you something.
You know, I don't wish to
alarm you, but when I was a boy,
I heard a tale that
this tower was haunted
by my great, great,
great grandmother,
Gertrude, who died here rather
than surrender it to your lot,
Vostieris.
Well, I was told the ghost
was a distant cousin who
died defending it
from the Androvians.
Ah.
You don't suppose that perhaps
our educations were skewed
in such a way as to paint
in a more favorable light
our respective families, do you?
What?
Are you implying that
it wasn't entirely
true when I was told
the Vostieris basically
invented civilization?
Just speculating.
Did you hear that?
Where are you taking me?
You'll see.
Yeah, no, but actually where?
This is what I
wanted to show you.
Wow.
How did you know about it?
Well, for a while, as a girl, I
would obsess over the schematics
of all the castles,
certain that I would
find a secret passage
leading to hidden treasure.
Unfortunately,
I never thought to look
for a hidden bowling alley.
Who knows what we'll see.
But you once told me that you
wanted to study astronomy.
Wait, it's early August.
Did you bring me here
to see the Perseids?
Tonight, the meteor
shower is supposed to peak.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
There's one.
Look, there's another one.
I can't tell if you're
just indulging me
or you genuinely get excited
every time you see another one.
Surely you've seen
shooting stars before.
Of course I have.
But it doesn't matter
if you've seen 100,000 of them.
It doesn't mean
that each one can't
have its own unique beauty.
I imagine that's what
it's like to be in love.
Doesn't matter if you've
been with someone for years.
Your heart still
skips a beat every
time they walk in the room.
Imagine?
You make it sound like you've
never been in love before.
I don't suppose I have.
Not really.
Well, of course, there
was an infatuation or two
at university,
but the engagement...
I was betrothed
to your sister before I
even knew what a crush was.
Hm.
I'm actually really
sorry that didn't work out.
I'm also really sorry you
had to settle for the spare.
My sister certainly would
never trip over her hem.
In fact, she's
much better suited
to all the required
pageantry than I am.
I can't say I'm disappointed.
I also don't think
your sister would ever
remember some throwaway
comment about astronomy,
bring me up on this
roof to see this.
Look at that one.
Desmond.
Desmond, wake up.
Just five more minutes.
This is the nicest sleep
I've had for weeks.
Knowing Edwin,
he's probably already
alerted the authorities I've
done something nefarious to you.
Let's hope nobody's
noticed we've gone.
Yes, let's hope.
Allow me to help you with that.
Stuck.
We're trapped up here.
What?
What are we going to do?
Ah.
Just kidding.
Imagine how awkward that
would have been, though.
You're evil.
My heart stopped.
Where have you two been?
We've had the entire
staff looking for you.
Yes, I'd say the thing
about that is that...
I'm sorry.
It's my fault.
Again?
Your Highness, you appear
to becoming a bad influence.
Edwin, I will remind
you that you are
speaking to your future queen.
Apologies,
Your Highness, but your
official prenuptial luncheon
starts in less than three hours.
Thus, there is a team
of stylists awaiting
for you in your quarters.
I assumed this wedding
was more about politics
than presentation.
Might I remind Her Highness
that presentation is politics?
The entire Alsinian province
was clearly ceded to Androvia
in the Treaty of 1628.
That was a treaty
that was never ratified.
Even within Androvia, that
treaty was widely dismissed.
Oh, you're an expert
on Androvian history now?
It's a moot point to even
try and bring that up,
since the joint occupancy
accord, agreed to in 1923,
set up a 99-year mutual tenancy,
which would have superseded it.
That was most graciously
proposed by my own grandfather,
so I think I would know
about the accord of 1923.
Then you would also know
about the underlying agreement
that upon the accord's
expiration,
ownership would
revert to Vostieri.
Nonsense!
There was never
an underlying agreement.
That is pure fiction.
The only fiction
going on here is
that we're supposed to believe
that's your real hair.
Or is the real
fiction your waistline?
How much Spandex are
you strapped into?
Sir.
That's my girl.
Darling, that's
not very ladylike.
Well, something had
to be done, Mother.
With all due respect,
what was supposed to be
a purely ceremonial luncheon
has yet again devolved
into another failed summit.
Now, if you would
allow me, I believe
I have a way through this.
Chloe, we're doing a conflict
resolution workshop.
Awesome!
This seems entirely irregular.
Father, please.
These outdated treaties that the
two of you been fighting over
have done neither of our
countries any good at all,
have they?
Your Majesties have
both been given
ample opportunity
to find a solution,
and you haven't been able to.
So might I suggest that
the crown princess is
given the opportunity
to provide some much
needed fresh perspective.
Beatrix, dear, this is really
not the appropriate time.
Papa, darling, this
is what Bea does.
If you could all
just let her speak,
I think you'll find
we have a rather
gifted diplomat amongst us.
Thank you.
You've got this.
Can we get a whiteboard in here?
I think we can all agree we'd
like to resolve this matter
and find a permanent solution,
not kick it down the road
like your grandparents did.
Quite right.
Excuse me, dear.
Which word are we
trying to come up with?
There's not a right
or a wrong word.
It's just that you each
have to use the letter
you have to make a word.
In this situation, what
would a win look like to you?
Not ever having
to deal with this problem
for the rest of my life.
OK, I'll put that down as a win.
OK, queens, let's
do a trust fall.
I'd like you to stand
in front like this.
P for palace.
And you're just going to fall
back and trust that my mum is
going to catch you.
K for king.
Service.
Bird.
I'm slightly worried that
our liveries might clash.
Edwin, please.
Fall.
Queens.
That was great.
I know you two went
to boarding school together.
King Richmond, I don't
want you to think about it.
I want you to just blurt out a
word that comes to mind of when
you first met my father.
I suppose inspiring.
Did you say inspiring?
The first word
that came to mind.
Why do you think that is?
I was 11 years old.
I was fairly sheltered,
and suddenly I was shipped off
to a Swiss boarding
school, which was supposed
to make a man out of me.
Admittedly, I was terrified.
But then I met Winston.
He was a year older.
He seemed to be the only
boy there who could
truly understand my position.
He inspired me that I
could make my way there.
OK.
Great word, inspiring.
Father, what word
comes to mind of when
you first met King Richmond?
I suppose comrade.
It was awkward with
the other boys.
Given my royal standing,
I felt quite isolated.
So when Richmond
arrived, I finally
felt like I had a comrade,
someone I could confide in and
team up with, as it were.
We did make quite
a team, didn't we, rather?
We did indeed.
Do you remember the water
tower adventure?
Do I?
I commissioned a painting
of that very water tower.
It hangs in my personal study.
So how did it go from that
to this current animosity?
When I graduated, my father
told me I had to put all that
behind me and be a true leader.
He drilled into me that the
Androvians or basically anyone
on the other side
of any border...
Can't be trusted.
And do you think
that mistrust has
been a win for either of you?
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
I'm very pleased and,
frankly, a little
surprised to announce that
after a private meeting
this afternoon, King
Richmond and King Winston
have come to an agreement which
would establish a mutual shared
occupancy
of the Alsinian province,
overseen by an independent
council made up of appointees
from both countries.
Any questions?
With our signatures,
we enact the new treaty.
We also announce
a new free trade
agreement between
our two countries, which
will benefit both economies.
And, as an added benefit,
my son is not forced
into a marriage of convenience.
My daughter does not have
to marry a man she barely knows.
And with that, I return
this token of your affection.
And I accept this ring and
release you from your engagement
to me.
Excellent.
Well, ah, thank you very much.
Thank you.
I suppose we both rather
dodged a bullet there,
didn't we?
Yes.
Lucky for both of us, wasn't it?
You're relieved, I'm
sure, to be able to go back
to your old life in Boston.
Well, you sort
of blew my cover there,
so it's not exactly
going to be the same.
But having a higher
profile is already
benefiting the foundation,
and all of this
has taught me a new
meaning of public service.
A princess for the people.
Sounds like a great
story to teach children.
But I truly hope the next time
you give that to someone, it's
not out of political
expediency but
because you're really in love.
We hope for the best.
Princess Beatrix
Vostieri, it has been
our pleasure to have met you.
We feel it has been an honor.
Fantastic news.
We got the grant, and it's
for more than what we asked for.
This should fund us
for the next five years.
Bea?
Yeah, good.
That's good.
If we got this
news back in Boston,
we'd be jumping up
and down right now.
You're right.
This is stupid.
Sorry, that's great news.
Except here I am just
staring at my hand.
Is there something
wrong with it?
OK, fine.
I didn't even like
the ring anyway.
It was too big and gaudy
and totally not my style.
And yet your hand sort
of looks empty without it now.
And that's stupid, right?
No, it's not stupid.
Especially because this
isn't about the ring, is it?
I've only known him
a couple of weeks.
What I'm feeling
can't be real, right?
Honey, it doesn't matter if it's
a few weeks or months or years.
If it's real, it's real.
Did you tell him how you feel?
No.
He seemed relieved,
so I acted relieved.
It's too late now.
Now he's gone.
- Let's go after him.
- What?
How would we even...
I have an idea.
Meet you out front
in five minutes.
Five minutes.
Hey!
Oh, great.
I borrowed it from
one of the staff.
Get GPS up on your phone.
If we can find
a couple of shortcuts,
we can beat him to the border.
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
OK, you good?
- Yeah.
All right.
Take the next left!
Got it.
Ew!
I swallowed a bug.
Ugh!
Go around.
OK.
Stop the car.
Stop the car!
Desmond, darling, are
you feeling quite well?
No, Mother, I have
to say that I'm not.
I should think you'd
be over the moon.
We have peacefully resolved
the issues, and going forward,
relations between
the two countries
shall be better than ever.
Which is great news
for everyone concerned,
Father, except for me.
I've dedicated my entire
life to this country.
But there's something
that I have to do
now that's just for myself.
Son, this is craziness.
At the very least, we can send
Edward and security with you
for whatever you have to do.
No, Father.
This is something that
I have to do on my own.
But trust me, I'm
going to be all right.
This isn't like you.
Can't you see?
The boy is dealing
with a broken heart.
Let him go.
Thank you, Mama.
Desmond, couldn't have thought
of this before you got so
far from the border, could you?
What's wrong?
We're out of gas.
Oh, no.
We've definitely
missed them by now.
Hey, we don't know that.
You might still be
able to catch him.
You should go.
- You'll be OK?
- Yeah, yeah.
Go!
Go!
You go, girl!
What are you doing?
Where's your security detail?
I gave them the slip
like you taught me.
Oh, god.
I need to invest in some sweats.
These are not the right
shoes for this.
What are you doing here?
Those things I
said last night...
Last night.
Look, I said that
we dodged a bullet,
but the truth is, I
don't particularly
want to dodge that bullet.
- You don't?
No.
And perhaps this is crazy.
Like your father said, we
hardly know each other.
But I've never felt
this way before.
I'm completely in love with you.
I feel the same way.
I think I still have it.
What are you doing?
I'm asking this not
because I'm the prince
and you're the princess
and it's our duty,
but because I, Desmond, am
truly in love with you, Beatrix.
Will you marry me?
I will marry you
for exactly that reason.
You know, you could change
your shirt this season.
No way.
This is my favorite shirt.
And if I take this off,
the Bruins will lose.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
Hey, what's this
fancy-looking envelope?
Wait, are these airline tickets?
First class.
This a joke?
Hold on, let me see the card.
Wow, there's a note
written in it.
"Dear Rooster and Alice, you did
say you wanted couple friends."
What?
Shut up.
These are our friends
from the bowling alley.
Are you freaking kidding me?
What have we done?
What kind of chaos
have we unleashed?
It is a wedding between
two royal families.
And Edwin's involved,
so you can't
have expected an intimate
affair, just the two of us.
Yes, but seating 500 guests.
How are we going to do that?
And do we really know
who all these people are?
I mean, this one, for example...
Johnny Payne?
Ah, yes.
The heir to the Glasswick.
Dukedom.
He's the son of my Uncle Willie.
That's on my mother's side.
I see.
And his plus one is
a Miss Prudence Thorpe.
But why are they seated
at a table with the Americans?
Oh, that was quite the scandal.
You see, Willie went
over to America,
had a secret wife
and a hidden heir.
I see.
But shouldn't he be seated
with his parents, William and
Dorothy?
Should be seated with his
highness's cousin, Henry.
Yes, because Henry is
going out with an American,
Princess Sweet Pea.
Princess Sweet Pea,
the theme park princess?
You know she's not real, right?
Apparently she's
real enough to be
eating lobster at our wedding.
Well, if all this goes south,
I'll be over there drinking
beer with Rooster and Alice.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we run
out for some pizza?
And I'll see you
At midnight
Beautiful.
Your Highness, would you
raise your chin ever so?
Uh, I do apologize.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I assumed you were
talking to me.
I thought...
When he said Your Highness, I...
No, no, no.
Not at all.
You speak.
No, you first.
I insist.
Thank you.
Since we are both heirs
to our respective thrones,
perhaps Your Highness might
not be the most helpful
of addresses.
In the interest
of efficiency over protocol,
might I suggest Prince
Desmond and Princess Coralina
for the time being?
Would that be amenable,
Your Highness?
Yes.
Excellent suggestion,
Your Highness.
Wonderful.
Please go ahead.
Very well, Prince Desmond.
Would you raise
your chin ever so?
Could I possibly get a touch up?
Sir, I've drafted
an article for the media.
Clear, please.
Thank you.
After some intros, it
reads, "The royal houses
of the monarchy of Vostieri
and the kingdom of Androvia
announce the merging
of their royal lines
with the engagement of the Crown
Princess Coralina Eugenia
of Vostieri to Crown
Prince Desmond Carlyle.
Both houses hope this
joyous occasion will forge
a path towards
reunification, thus easing
centuries' old tensions
regarding the ownership
of the Alsinian province.
Yes, that's fine.
Although, we should
perhaps include
something about the date.
Say that the wedding
takes place in two months.
Oh, and perhaps
a cheerful mention
of the historical
and beautiful Castle Elora's
the location of the nuptials.
Both prized suggestions.
Princess Coralina,
perhaps you could
move your hand onto
his arms so that we
can see the yellow alexandrite?
Quite.
May I?
Here we go.
Perfect.
I believe we have it.
Everything all
right there, Edwin?
Never better, sir.
Merely attending to something
that was crying out to be done.
You just seem a little
upset by this turn of events.
I find this deeply offensive
for two reasons, sir.
Firstly, it is a breach of
protocol of the highest order.
And secondly, if royalty
cannot be expected to hold
their commitments,
what example does
that set for the rest of us?
But here I am, not
attending to your heartbreak
after such treacherous perfidy.
How you must feel
having a fiancee
so callously break off your
engagement by eloping with a...
a plumber.
You must be devastated.
As devastated as one
can be about someone
they've only met two
and a half times, I suppose.
How can one meet
someone half a time?
Oh, there was a video
call that kept freezing.
Very awkward.
Oh.
Do try to keep in mind, Edwin,
that this marriage was purely
a diplomatic union to shore
up political relations
between the two countries.
It was arranged
by our grandfathers
long before we were even born.
I do worry, though, without
the merger of the two houses
where this territorial
dispute might lead.
Still, she returned
the ring promptly.
Please make sure that gets
back to the royal vault.
Of course, sir.
And your parents are
expecting you at breakfast.
Be warned, your father is not
taking this as calmly as you,
sir.
Betrayal!
Utter betrayal!
This is an outright provocation!
Well, I hardly
think it's up there
with the killing of Archduke
Franz Ferdinand, Father.
I'm sorry, darling.
Who's been killed?
An Austrian fellow, Mama.
World War I.
Oh.
If things get worse,
I'm sure the Vostieris
could blame us for that too.
Although, one might wonder
how much this is political
and how much this is personal.
, were you not once
friends with King Winston?
Well, that was when we
were schoolboys, which seems
entirely beside the point.
His daughter has pushed
us to the very brink.
Father, it's 8
o'clock in the morning.
I entreat you to find
a diplomatic solution to this
and try to think of a plan B.
Oh.
Princess Coralina's
elopement was most untimely.
Not sure what we're
going to do now.
It's just too bad
that our royal air
force consists of two
helicopters and the private jet.
We won't be going to war, Edwin.
There has to be
a better solution.
Didn't Princess Coralina
have a younger sister?
I believe so, Your Highness.
Yes, I recall now.
Princess Beatrix.
She dropped out of sight
after some public blowback
to a picture in the press.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I remember
that picture, actually.
If you scroll
down, you'll notice
there's a great deal
of commentary on her appearance.
I shouldn't laugh.
The poor child was
absolutely crucified.
No wonder she disappeared.
It was 20 years ago now.
Do you want me
to track her down, sir?
Arrangements for a royal
wedding back underway?
Do you know, I can't
think of a better solution.
We'll be asking her
to make a great sacrifice.
I know.
Not as big as sacrifices
as we'd be asking our subjects
to make if our fathers can't put
aside centuries of grievances.
Do it.
Let's just hope
she's not secretly
dating the palace electrician.
I'm hideous.
Don't come in.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
Oh, trust me,
it's an absolute disaster.
I'm using my key.
Big meeting today.
We are so going to land it.
Oh, man, it smells
awful in here.
What happened?
Why is it so dark?
We need some light
in this situation.
Uh, honey, I am really sorry
that this is happening,
but I gave you the entire
weekend to be a puddle.
I even gave you
my emergency breakup kit.
It was an emergency.
It was a breakup.
It's in the name.
I mean, Jared dumped me by text
for a reality show influencer.
Well, I know, and he's
a really big jerk
and has no idea what he lost.
But what do we tell our girls?
We are women of substance.
And we overcome
substantial challenges.
Good girl.
Now, I know this is bad timing,
but we have that
final presentation
to the Brahmin
League this morning.
And you know that
this investment
can secure our program
for the next two years.
I know.
Yeah.
Where's your phone?
I need to double
check the address.
Oh, I don't exactly
know where it is.
I was afraid I'd
misery dial Jared,
so probably between
the pint of ice cream
and the two boxes of milk duds.
OK.
Calling it.
Oh, now I remember.
Here.
Uh, you have two dozen missed
calls from the same number.
Is it Jared realizing he
made a terrible mistake?
No, it is plus 56.
That's a foreign prefix.
You don't suppose
there's a prince who
needs your help getting
millions of dollars
out of the country, right?
Anyway, we should get
you into the shower,
because we don't
want the villagers
to come with
the pitchforks and torches.
Well, it's Boston.
There's no villagers.
We have Bruins fans.
Same thing.
Less forgiving.
It's that same number calling.
Do you want me to get it?
I love messing with scammers.
Oh, uh, no, you're good.
Do you want to make
us some coffees?
- Yeah, sure.
- OK.
Hello?
Who was it?
You called it.
Nigerian prince wants my help,
but he works in Bitcoin now.
Fancy.
I'll call us an Uber.
How long?
Says it should be here.
Oh, OK.
Uh, is that guy watching
us through binoculars?
Just another birdwatcher.
Yeah.
Birding is very hip right now.
Sir, it's her.
The Allied STEM Foundation
for Young Women not only
provides vital education and
mentoring in STEM coursework
for underserved girls,
but we also teach leadership
skills through workshops,
such as emotional intelligence,
communication styles,
and conflict resolution.
This generous grant from
the Brahmin League would.
Be so beneficial
you wouldn't just
be making a difference in the
lives of these young women,
you'd be investing
in the future.
Thank you.
I couldn't tell if Mrs.
Standish loved or hated us.
She was as expressive
as dried concrete.
You know, she reminded me
of my paternal grandmother.
She always did this
thing where she'd...
Don't look, but I think that
same guy is across the park.
Which guy?
I told you not to look.
Chloe, out of curiosity, how
many true crime documentaries
did you watch this weekend?
Maybe half of one while
I was doing laundry.
OK, three.
But I swear that guy
followed us here.
OK, well, let's...
let's just turn the corner.
Good plan.
I'll send a simple
handwritten thank
you note and leave it at that.
Ooh, breaking
out the stationery.
I like it.
Very classy.
Well, we just don't want
her to think we're desperate.
Aren't we desperate, though?
No.
We give it a couple of months
and we'll be desperate adjacent.
Uh, I know you think
I'm being paranoid,
but there is a black
van following us.
No, no, don't turn around.
Jeez, you would be
the worst spy ever.
Well, I'm sure there's no
reason to panic just yet.
Why don't we cut through here?
We are definitely
being followed.
I should have really,
really, really
paid those parking tickets.
Oh, wait.
It went past.
- OK, we're good.
We'll just cross the street up
here and cut through the park
to the office.
OK.
Whoa!
My mom was right.
I moved to the big
city, and now we're
going to end up on Dateline!
OK, we'll just go the other way.
OK.
This is real!
We're going to get kidnapped!
Or murdered.
Or kidnapped and murdered!
OK, I think I'm
the one they want.
You'll be fine.
Just stay back.
You will not get
through to my friend
unless you go through me first.
Hiya!
Wait, what is happening?
It's OK.
I just need to go with them.
Well, I'm not letting you
get kidnapped without me.
Bea, what's going on?
I'm not exactly sure.
OK, that.
Since when do you speak French?
OK, there are some
details I never told
you about me and my family.
You said your family was boring.
Wait, are they in the mafia?
Have you been lying to me?
No, they're not in the mafia,
and no, I haven't lied to you.
And yes, my family is boring,
just in a very specific way.
Like my mother, she's...
You said she's a housewife
who does volunteer work.
Which is true.
It's just that her house
is kind of a palace,
and she's kind
of the queen there.
OK, so your mom is fancy
and you guys have a big house.
No, it's really a palace.
Palace.
But you said your dad was
a government administrator.
Right.
It's just that my father
is also the king
of Vostieri, which
is technically
an administrative position.
So you're not Bea Halston?
No, no, I still am your best
friend from sophomore year.
It's just my full
name is Beatrix Ileana
Halston Von Lindmore Eugard.
But some people refer
to me as Princess Beatrix.
That makes me the bestie
of Princess Beatrix of...
how do you pronounce
your country's name again?
Oh, thank you.
Are you sure you're
a princess, though?
Because we like boxed wine.
Also, we go to that
discount pedicure place,
so you don't sound
like a princess.
I took a year
of intense diction classes
to master your accent.
Accent?
I don't have an accent.
Do I?
Wow.
Do you think this is
one of those kidnappings
where we can get room service?
We haven't actually
been kidnapped.
Oh, but when I tell the story,
and I will tell the story,
there will be
kidnapping involved.
Your Highness.
I don't think he's
the one you say that to.
Your Royal Highness,
it is my honor
to introduce to you
Prince Desmond,
Crown Prince of Androvia.
Seriously?
Wow.
Your Royal Highness.
It is a great honor
to make your acquaintance.
Certainly.
The pleasure is all
ours, Your Majesty.
May we present our companion,
Miss Chloe Hargraves.
Miss Hargraves, an honor to
make your acquaintance as well.
Likewise, I'm sure, Your
Gracious Majesty, Sire, Royal...
That's not a thing.
OK, got it.
We've been trying throughout
the weekend, Princess,
to make contact with you
through phone calls and email.
We were inconvenient
as of the weekend
and not accepting
correspondence.
Understood.
Well, then, perhaps we might
confer more privately now.
Prince Desmond, since
we are outnumbered
and at a political
disadvantage, we
would insist that our friend
bear witness to whatever
conversation shall ensue.
Very well.
Since the dissolution of a
united Vestrovia some 300 years
ago, there has been
an ongoing dispute regarding
rightful ownership
of the Alsinian province and
the Castle Elora.
It is our hope that
Her Highness is
aware of elevated tensions
between Androvia and Vostieri
on this matter.
Is it the intention
of His Highness
to educate us on the history and
situation in our own homeland?
Well, given that
Her Highness has
been absent from her royal
duties for some 20 years,
one was not to presume
anything about what
sort of connection she may
or may not have with Vestrovia.
As a matter
of fact, we are fully
aware of the crown
prince's failed engagement
to our sister, Coralina.
May we offer our belated
congratulations and condolences.
How very kind of Your Highness.
Although, perhaps that failure
is a matter best discussed
with one's own sister.
And when doing so, please
do extend our heartiest
congratulations on her
recent nuptials to a plumber,
I believe.
- Indeed.
It will be so lovely having
a member of the royal family
who actually has a useful skill.
But I doubt His Majesty
came all this way
to discuss failed engagements.
We can't help but wonder
if there is perhaps
a point to this meeting.
Indeed, there is.
In fact, the entire point of the
aforementioned failed engagement
was to form an alliance through
marriage between the ruling
houses of Duvalier
and Vostieri in the hopes
that we might form
a legitimate path
towards a reunited
Vestrovia, and thus prevent
further escalation of tensions.
Understood.
But since that plan did
not come to fruition,
we are loath to consider what
alternative might be proposed.
Interesting choice of verbiage.
Perhaps, in the light
of the state of this meeting,
His Highness may
prefer not to proceed.
His Highness has
very little choice.
Since Princess Coralina was
required to abdicate her claim
to the throne
by marrying a commoner,
it would seem that you
are now crown princess.
And as crown prince
of Androvia, it
is my great honor
to most graciously
seek your hand in marriage.
So that happened.
OK, what is with
all the accents?
I've known you for 20 years.
Have you been pretending
this whole time?
Who's the real you?
This is Bea, your best
friend since college.
This is Princess Beatrix Ileana
Halston Von Lindmore Eugard
of Vostieri.
And I suppose this
is me, Beatrix, who
is also in a bit of a pickle.
It must be exhausting
to be all of those people.
Just be you.
Thank goodness.
Besides, I don't think
you're in a pickle.
Friday, your boyfriend
dumps you by text,
and then Monday,
another guy flies
2,000 miles to propose to you.
And not just any other guy.
A crown prince proposed to you.
Best rebound ever.
And you turned him down cold.
You truly are a girlboss.
Ugh, Androvians.
They're so pushy and arrogant I
bet it was his grandfather who
came up with the age-old
solution of intermarriage
in the first place.
Is that really the only option?
My sister says there's a
summit between our two kingdoms
in a few days,
so surely my father
will come up with a better
solution than marrying me off
to some polo playing prince.
Is there a chance that maybe
you're judging him a little bit
harshly?
Look at this.
OK.
There he is, looking
princely and...
wait, is that your sister?
She's so pretty.
Right?
Yeah, I've only heard
that my whole childhood.
Your sister's so pretty.
Touched a nerve, did we?
Sorry.
But that's not the photo
I'm talking about.
It's... it's this one.
This one, and this
one, and this one.
OK, I don't think
I've actually ever seen
anyone playing polo before.
Do you remember
in college when we
vowed never to date a golf bro?
Ugh, golf.
Well, polo bros, they're,
like, 100 times worse.
I'm sure he's the type who
never shuts up about it.
He looks pretty cute
on a horse, though.
Oh, the Vostieris.
They're all so pushy
and arrogant.
One might have thought
that the princess would have
been much more
appreciative, given
all the trouble you've gone to.
I mean, haven't I
kept a low profile?
Indeed.
Just the private jet.
Skeletal staff.
Of 12.
I've taken all the trouble to
come here, completely incognito,
and meet this rogue princess
to offer her the only way that I
can see out of a dire
situation, only to be informed
that she is inconvenienced.
In my opinion, sir, when she
said she must politely decline,
I didn't think she
was being that polite.
Then again, sir, it seems your
father has agreed to a summit
meeting with King Winston.
Perhaps clearer heads
will prevail at last.
One can only hope, Edwin.
Richmond, it's been ages
since I've seen you in person.
And yet, somehow,
not long enough.
You're looking so much older.
Some of us are
comfortable in our own skin.
Speaking of your skin, I'm sure
Leupinia would love the name
of your plastic surgeon.
Your Highnesses,
might I suggest we start
with an official photograph?
Happy to.
Certainly.
Might I suggest
as well shaking of hands?
Why, Winston, your handshake
feels just as weak as when we
were boys in boarding school.
Would you say as weak
as your economic recovery?
Or as weak
as your foreign policy?
Well, certainly nothing could
be as weak as your central bank.
That bad, huh?
I told Papa not to let King
Richmond push his buttons.
Papa said he's not a machine.
He doesn't have buttons.
He's never been
great with metaphors.
We are quite literal people.
Well, since the summit
was a failure,
that does leave you in a rather
delicate position.
If you were to reconsider and
accept the prince's proposal,
it might help settle
things, just until there
could be a diplomatic solution.
I realize I have no room
to tell you what to do,
and I'm so sorry I didn't
give you any warning
before my elopement.
But it was sudden
and crazy and perhaps
the first unpremeditated,
selfish thing I've ever done.
Are you having regrets?
Are you kidding?
This is the happiest I've
been in my entire life.
I won't begrudge you that.
I'm not thrilled
by the change in my situation,
but you've allowed me
to live a very private
life for a very long time.
I suppose I could reconsider
and accept his proposal,
but only in the hopes that we
can come to a better solution.
You are being most
gracious about all of this.
I just want you to know it's
not lost on me.
I appreciate that.
Somebody got
croissants from Monica's.
I've got to go, but please
give my love to Mummy and Papa,
OK?
When you used to say that
your sister was a princess,
I thought she was just spoiled.
But now that I know
she's an actual princess,
it's kind of weird.
Things are definitely weird,
and the summit, not a success.
So does that mean you're
reconsidering the engagement?
I think I have to.
Come on, what do
we tell our girls?
Once we decide what needs
to be done, we do it.
Everybody's watching
Everybody's waiting
Greetings, Your Highness.
Prince Desmond is
momentarily detained.
I see.
Are we sure this isn't
one of those things
where I am to be kept waiting
as a subtle power play?
Honestly, Your Highness,
do you read this much
into every interaction?
Only ones this fraught.
How refreshingly blunt you are.
And how craftily ironic you are.
I don't know
if this is an attempt
to intimidate me or charm me.
It is my attempt to cut
through the royal double talk.
If it's charm you're looking
for, you have the wrong sister.
Welcome.
Would Your Highness
care to join us?
Are we meeting in your bedroom?
Oh, goodness, no.
We thought we might have
supper on the balcony
with Your Highness.
Indeed.
But in the interest
of direct communication,
may we please stop
speaking in the royal we?
Yes, we can.
I mean, yes, you and I can.
Please.
Thank you.
Oh, no, wait.
Sorry, I'm confused.
I was told that you had
reconsidered my proposal.
Well, yes.
In light of the failure
of the recent summit,
I find myself so inclined.
OK.
It's just, you surprised me.
I thought we'd go out on a date.
I think we're a little
bit beyond dating
territory, aren't we?
Yes, but just something
a little more romantic.
Ah.
Candles, the moonlight,
those little flowers.
Thought this was romantic.
It's fine.
Princess, I may be naive
when it comes to affairs
of the heart, but I
do know enough to know
that when a woman says
something is fine,
then it doesn't mean it's good.
I did put some
thought into this.
Yes, your wait staff
did a lovely job.
Now, why does that
sound like a slight?
- I don't want to argue.
- It was definitely a slight.
I just thought we could go
out to a restaurant, that's all.
A restaurant?
I'm sorry.
I'm just having
trouble even picturing
what that would look like.
I suppose we could ask Edwin to
put together a security detail.
Could we discuss this privately?
By all means.
Ah.
Would you mind giving
us a few moments?
I'm sorry, I'm just
attended on so often I
forget that they're even there.
Let's run out for pizza.
I'm sorry, Princess.
I don't think you understood.
I'm saying that we can't
do that without security.
No, I don't think
you understand.
Where does that door go?
According
to the security briefing,
to some service
elevator, I think.
So?
Let's run out for pizza.
Really?
Could we really do that?
Look, in Boston, I'm
a nobody, at least until we
announce our engagement.
And I don't think
anyone's up to date
with princes from small
European monarchies.
Well, I have featured
on some quite prominent
eligible bachelor lists.
If we scruff you up a bit,
we might look like just
a normal couple out for a date.
It's just I've never really
done anything like that before.
Well, tonight might
be our last chance.
The princess and I are at a
very delicate and tense stage
of diplomatic negotiations.
We'd very much like
to be left alone.
Indeed, sir.
Alone, Edwin.
Remember, if anyone
asks, you're a PhD student.
Why can't I just
be a local Bostonian?
Well, first, because they're
called townies, and second,
because you don't have sweats.
I remind you that
the purpose of this trip
was to propose to a princess.
I didn't think sweats
would be appropriate.
So you have sweats?
Well, at least you
know what those are,
so that's encouraging.
Oh, may I?
There.
Do I look like
an astronomy student?
Look at you with the backstory.
Astronomer?
I like it.
Personal interest?
I dabble.
All right.
Now or never, I suppose.
Exactly.
Take a breath.
We're sneaking out for pizza,
not nuclear secrets.
Where are we going anyway?
This place Chloe and I
used to go in grad school.
The pizza is so greasy, but it's
so good, and the beer is cold.
Oh, you like beer, right?
- Oh, yeah.
I'll have you know that we
have some excellent breweries
in Androvia, so yes,
I do drink beer.
How sheltered do you think I am?
Cool hats.
That looks good on you.
Thank you.
Yes?
Oh, yeah.
I suppose I have
to pay for this.
Yes.
One second.
I... the thing is I don't
actually have any money.
I've never carried
a wallet before.
And that's exactly how
sheltered I think you are.
Don't worry.
Tonight's on me.
Well, in that case,
we'll take this as well.
Thanks.
To going off the tether.
Hm.
Hm.
You know, I've never been
allowed to make foolish mistakes
or youthful indiscretions.
My whole life's been
so meticulously planned.
Even my polo playing,
it's all orchestrated.
Polo?
But I've seen the pictures.
No, it's an annual photo
shoot against a green screen.
In fact, I've fallen
off so many horses
that I'm expressly
forbidden, in the interests
of protecting the royal lineage,
from being on horseback.
But I thought
Androvians were supposed
to be legendary polo players?
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You were right.
This is absolutely fantastic.
It's called bowling.
Do you want to try it?
Bowling, you say?
Yeah.
Let's give it a go.
OK.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Oh.
That was good, right?
It's been a while.
OK, your turn.
Uh, you might want
to step back a little bit.
Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back.
And remember what I told you.
So you hold the ball up,
wind back, take a few steps,
and release.
Are you kidding?
That was great.
Thank you.
Don't leave me hanging.
Oh, yeah, that thing you do.
Excuse me.
When you knock all the things
down, is that what you do?
You do that little dance?
I mean, you know, it
doesn't happen all the time,
but when it does,
you've got to celebrate.
All right.
Hey!
Well done.
Don't leave me hanging.
Am I picking up
date night vibes?
I know that look.
I know that look.
Hey, baby.
Come on.
Let's buy them a round.
Oh, we just came
back from our honeymoon
ourselves, so stay right there.
Let me strike in.
You jerk.
You've been messing
with me this whole time.
You assumed that I didn't
know what bowling was.
You didn't say
you were good at it.
I didn't say that I wasn't.
But you think that I'm
hopeless and sheltered.
I'd say this one's on you.
OK, maybe I had that coming.
I don't get it.
You don't play polo,
but you're this bowling champ?
That's completely true.
Yes, when mechanized
bowling was first invented,
it became something
of a sensation in Androvia.
And my great
grandfather, who insisted
that we be modern
in all things, he
built a two-lane alley
in the basement of the palace.
I discovered it when I
was in my early teens.
When my royal duties became just
too much to bear, that alley,
it became a refuge for me.
Well, considering
how good you are,
you must have spent
a lot of time there.
You're not the only one who
had a difficult time adjusting.
Here we go.
Ah.
Thank you.
Yes.
Hey, guys, do you
have a car or should we
drop you off someplace?
Oh, that's so nice of you,
but I think that's our Uber just
pulling around now.
Oh, well, it was really
fun meeting you guys.
I hope we can get
together again.
We've been trying to make
more couple friends.
We could have couple friends.
Well, you guys
have our contacts,
so let's try to keep in touch.
All right.
That's my wife.
Don't mind her.
She's a hugger.
OK, bye.
Great to meet you.
- You too.
- Pleasure meeting you.
Yeah, it was great
to meet you both.
- Bye.
- Bye.
See you around.
This is just
the night that I needed.
I have to admit it, I can't
remember the last time
I had this much fun.
Oh.
"Androvian crown
prince unaccounted for.
Kidnapping, not ruled out,
claims personal assistant."
I think we're in trouble.
Where have you been, sir?
I've been worried
sick and entertaining
the most dire possibilities.
Such as what, Edwin?
Kidnapping attempt?
No.
In fact, we just went
out for a little pizza.
Pizza can be delivered.
This is quite unlike you, sir.
I'm so sorry.
This is my fault.
No, it isn't.
I went of my own free will.
And for your information, I
had rather a fantastic time.
Well, that seems
entirely beside the point.
Well, I'll inform the king
and queen that you have
not been abducted as feared.
Now, it would seem that the best
way to defuse this escalation
in tensions would be
to announce your engagement
as soon as possible.
So, Princess Beatrice, you
will be back here at 9:00 AM
sharp for your official photo.
I have a meeting.
Your Highness, I
realize this must all
feel like a terrible
inconvenience for you,
but you were almost
in the middle
of an international
incident this evening.
Through no fault of her own.
Be that as it
may, we need to push
things along here for the people
of both your countries.
Thank you, Your Highnesses.
We'll send a car in the morning.
No.
Oh, that's ghastly, darling.
Ma cherie, you can't
wear any of those.
They'll think he's
marrying an American.
Seeing your wardrobe is
making me feel quite sad,
like we haven't supported you.
Well, that was the whole point.
I wanted to support myself.
And I didn't mean
to make you sad.
This is supposed
to be good news.
Of course I'm pleased.
You're doing your country
a great service.
And, personally, I'm thrilled
to have my baby closer to home.
But I just hate to think...
Hate to think what?
I know how hard-won
your privacy has been.
I fear we're letting you down.
Making sacrifices for the
greater good is what we do,
Mama.
You married Papa at 20.
What was that like?
I'll admit, it was
quite an adjustment.
But then again, I was raised
for this sort of thing.
You, ma cherie, you're
educated and accomplished,
but I fear you're unprepared.
Well, you've supported
everything I've ever done,
so that's the best preparation
I could ever hope for.
Perhaps.
Then again, we
prepared Coralina,
and look how that turned out.
Well, I hate to cut this short,
but I think my car's going
to arrive any minute.
Give my love to Papa.
Of course.
OK.
Right.
You won't be needing
whatever's in there.
Follow me.
How are we progressing?
I just worry that all
of this, it's not me.
Well, Your Highness,
if I may, you have
not been for over two decades.
By that, I mean Princess
Beatrix of Vostieri.
Now, she's in there somewhere,
and we mean to find her,
no matter how long it takes.
Now, everyone,
let's get this done.
Your Highnesses, can you
get closer together, please?
Can you switch sides, please?
Could we see the yellow
alexandrite, please?
Oh, wow.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I think they're finally leaving.
I'm so glad you're here.
It's been chaos.
Thank you.
I know.
It's crazy, right?
I kind of just miss that
one guy with binoculars.
Anyway, have you
checked your work email?
Suddenly, the Brahmin
League can't
wait to be in business with us.
And you have invitations
to a bunch of galas.
Well, don't tell my mother.
She'll send gowns.
Ooh.
You think she'll send me one?
If only we could take advantage,
but, unfortunately, there's
bigger issues brewing at home.
Now that I know that
this isn't your home,
I've been doing some research.
Your foreign minister
has been stoking quite
a bit of nationalistic fervor,
which seems ironic, considering
the fact that the Androvians
and Vostieris used to be
one big country originally.
So it's sort of like
the Capulets and the Montagues,
or Ewing and Barnes.
But if they were one
big country originally,
then why did they separate?
Well, it was 300 years ago.
The king died
without a clear heir,
two families lay
claim to the throne,
and it created this big
mess, which eventually
divided the countries.
So now, in order
to calm the rhetoric,
Desmond and I have to turn
on the charm offensive.
His jet leaves for Androvia
tomorrow night.
So clear your schedule
and pack your bags.
You want me to come with you?
No, I need you to come with me.
I feel like things are
about to get very weird,
and I need someone I
can trust in my corner.
And I can't think
of anyone else I'd rather
have as my maid of honor.
Seriously?
I'd be so honored.
Yay!
I'm showing up
for the trip in a scarf
and big Jackie O sunglasses.
OK.
Oh, hi.
Miss Hargreaves.
Always a pleasure.
I heard you were joining us.
I sure am.
It's hard to imagine
flying without putting
my shoes in a tub first.
Indeed.
Hello, Edwin.
Your Highness.
Ah, this will not do.
This you might find
a little more appropriate.
Oh.
That looks a bit
much for travel.
And the Androvian jet awaits us.
Do you think it's as posh
as we see in magazines?
I love free food.
We have all amenities onboard.
Food service, chilled
champagne, and in-flight TV.
In fact, His Highness has asked
that we screen his favorite film
this evening, The Big Lebowski
Oh.
That tracks.
The dude abides.
Indeed he does.
Just give us your best
smile, Your Highness,
and hightail for the van.
Come on.
Yes, very good.
Very good.
Oh.
Hello.
Hi.
Miss Hargraves, come.
I want to be the king of it all
I want to have a good
time, good time
So give it to me
Give it to me Give it to me
Give it to me
Oh, oh, the king of it all
I want to have a good
time, good time
Give it to me
Give it to me
Give it to me
Wow
Want it and you got it
Cool.
Your Majesties, might
I present my fiancee,
Princess Beatrix Ileana Halston
Von Lindmore Eugard of Vostieri.
And, Princess, might I introduce
the royal family of Androvia.
My father, King Richmond,
and my mother, Queen Leupinia.
It's a pleasure to make
your acquaintances.
You're quite a bit
taller than the other one.
Yes, Your Majesty.
My apologies for that.
Hm.
Oh, that's quite all right.
You don't need to unpack for me.
OK, please proceed.
You know, there is
a nice lady unpacking
my underwear
into a lavender-scented
tissue paper drawer.
I thought we were only
staying one night.
Well, we're supposed to do
a tour of Castle Elora tomorrow.
Oh.
Oh, no.
OK.
Your Highness, Miss
Hargraves, in an effort
to win over Androvians, we've
planned a photo op for an hour
from now.
It will be very simple.
You and the prince will go out
the front entry of the palace,
descend the steps,
and wave to a select group
of locals and photographers,
who will be
gathered outside of the gate.
Then you will return
to the palace.
Easy as that.
Should we perhaps
go outside the gate
and greet them personally?
Goodness, no.
We merely want them
to get a look at you.
We've timed it so the sun will
be perfect for your angular
angles.
But no selfies,
and there will be
no tabloid photographers there.
You will wear these, and this
will be the gown you're wearing.
That looks a tad long.
There won't be time
for a proper hem.
We'll get a seamstress to pop
in a couple of stitches
and hope for the best,
all right?
Whoa.
He's like Cinderella's
fairy godmother.
If she didn't like
Cinderella in the least.
It's like being
13 all over again.
Except this time I'm a meme
that will last forever.
Hey, what do we tell our girls?
You are the author
of your own story.
Don't let others
control your narrative.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm jet lagged, and I
didn't expect tagging along
with royalty to be so tiring.
Also, that bed in there
is calling my name.
Did you know those sheets are
hand-stitched by Italian nuns
who are selected
for their tiny hands?
I looked it up.
OK, you go get some sleep.
And remember, we'll laugh
about this in the morning.
Well, I hope so.
Night.
Night, night.
Can I help you
with something, lass?
Just, we're not supposed
to have visitors
this late in the kitchen.
Sorry to bother.
I couldn't sleep, and I thought
maybe a cup of chamomile tea
might help.
Ah, you must be the American
friend of the princess.
You could have just
rung down for it.
Actually, I'm the princess
friend of the American.
Oh.
I didn't recognize
you, Your Highness.
Well, you must have missed
today's latest internet story.
Don't worry about those photos.
Come on.
Oh, you're in luck.
Kettle's still hot.
Thank you.
You know, when I married my
Humphrey, I didn't eat for days.
And by the time the priests
were giving us our vows,
I faint dead away.
Vulgata over gums
right off the altar.
Humphrey couldn't find the top
half of me for all the tulle.
But by the time reception
were in full swing, even
I were laughing at it.
And I think it's
good for the people
to see that royals
are human too.
If anyone's asking my opinion.
Oh, sorry.
How can I help
you, Your Highness?
Straight away, Your Highness.
Kettle's just boiled.
Would you allow me to take it?
We can't have a princess
going about like a kitchen maid.
Oh, no one will mind.
And I am his fiancee, after all.
Well, against
my better judgment,
I don't suppose it could hurt.
Enter.
Thank you.
You can just set my tea
on the side table there.
By all means, Your Highness.
What... what are you
doing in my bedroom?
What, so it's OK
for your kitchen maid
to see you in your pajamas
but not your own fiancee?
No, it's just you startled me.
I wasn't expecting you.
Why are you delivering my tea?
Well, I too couldn't
sleep, so I imposed
myself on your kitchen staff.
Ah.
Then you managed
to make it up the stairs
all right without falling over?
Why couldn't you sleep?
I'm just trying to take mind
off the lurking suspicion that
responsibility
for de-escalating the situation
seems to have fallen
entirely on our shoulders.
I know.
Well, there's a book
I can give you
called Economies of Conflict,
which might explain why.
I've read that book.
Yeah, thought it was quite good.
You didn't tell me why
you were not sleeping.
I'm making a mess of things.
No, you're not.
This is how it's always been
for me, always a little off.
I'm trying to be better.
Less how I am naturally.
I wish you wouldn't.
I like you just how you are.
You should teach a class on
authenticity at princess school.
You laugh, but that is
part of the leadership
program at my foundation.
Yes, I heard about that.
Girls in STEM, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Tell me about it.
OK, Your Highness.
But just remember, you asked.
Consider, if you will, the
messages we send our children.
Throughout history,
only half the population
has ever been invited
to adventure, explore, and
engage in the world,
half the time actively
creating issues in their wake.
You mean men like
our grandfathers?
Precisely.
Now consider the stories
we tell our girls.
It's usually some
put upon princess
forced to marry a dull prince.
I'm not sure how I feel
about that description.
My point is, the story
usually ends at her marriage,
never to be spoken of again.
But what if the princess was
prepared to think not just
about her advantageous
marriage, but
the problems facing her society
and their possible solutions?
Princess being metaphorical
in our case, of course.
In Chloe's case.
Yes.
So we opened it up to any
girl who had the mind for it.
We gave them
the opportunity, the access,
the tools, so we can reframe
the narrative for the future.
Interesting.
Right?
Wait, which part?
The part where you,
an actual princess,
were forced to marry
a prince, because that's
what princesses do when
they're faced with problems
in their societies.
Except this prince
isn't very dull.
Ready for this?
Everything all right?
I'm just doing
what you suggested
and being authentically myself.
Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Lovely to meet you.
Princess, please
can I take selfie?
Oh, of course, yes.
Should we take a selfie?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh.
Hello there.
Thank you so much.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Your Highness, the Vostieris
have arrived early.
There's already some
scuttlebutt about which family
gets the room with
the sun, so can you
and the princess please
return to the castle
before things escalate?
All right.
Goodbye, everyone.
Thank you.
See, you did it.
Ready to meet my family?
I can't wait.
Don't get too excited.
- Ma cherie.
- Hello.
Bea.
You're here.
Well, I'm just so glad
to finally see you, my darling.
I was afraid those
awful Androvians
had taken you hostage
and were keeping
you from your loving family.
Darling, what have you
been doing to your hair?
I love it.
Oh, well, it's not
as perfect as.
Stop.
Don't even get me started.
I am a wreck.
Ah.
But please allow me
to introduce you to my husband.
You must be...
I am.
The plumber, yes.
But you can call me Cody.
I've been looking
forward to meeting you.
I've only got two brothers,
so it will delight
me to have you as a sister.
How lovely.
May I introduce Miss
Chloe Hargraves, my friend
and foundation partner.
It's such a pleasure to be
joined by another commoner.
We should form
an alliance, you and I, no?
I get it now.
What a surprise it was upon
hearing about your early arrival
here.
I'm sure you know what
it's like to suddenly crave
the fresh air
of the mountains, especially
since your capital is a seaport
and does smell so of fish.
Unlike your capital, which
smells of old cheese and
disappointment.
Your Majesties,
may we invite you
to proceed to the dining hall?
Oh, all right.
Smell?
Prince Desmond, any comment
on your second engagement
in two months?
Only to say that I'm entirely
delighted by the circumstances
that have brought Princess
Beatrix and I together.
And, Princess Beatrix,
any comments on the fact
that your approval ratings
in Androvia have gone up 73%?
Has it?
I'm afraid things have been
quite topsy turvy lately,
so I wasn't aware.
Your Highness.
Princess Princess.
Princess Coralina, are
you at all disappointed
that you're sacrificing becoming
queen by marrying a commoner?
Well, real love is
never a sacrifice.
Aw.
Excuse me.
Are you a member
of one of the families?
No, I'm Chloe.
I'm the best friend
of the bride.
Wrap it up.
Miss Hargraves, at the risk
of appearing chivalrous,
might I escort you inside?
Will this start a rumor
that we're dating?
Perish the thought.
Did you hear him?
The nerve, implying that simply
because our beautiful capital
is also a seaport that
it smells like fish.
Absurd.
Of course, dear.
But then again, you don't
stray that far from the palace,
but I get out and about with
my charity work at times,
and I dare say the docks on the
far side of the harbor, well,
they do have a certain
aromatic quality.
Oh, darling.
Do try the Brie.
It's exquisite.
Wow.
Vostierian cheese.
Some of the best in the world.
Look at him down there.
So smug.
Cheese and disappointment.
He's the one who'd know what
disappointment smells like.
Darling, with all your fretting,
you're letting
your ceviche get cold.
Ceviche is always cold, Mama.
You're right.
Which one do I mean?
Oh, I don't know offhand,
but you really must try it.
It's quite delicious.
I do hope after the wedding,
we get more Androvian seafood.
How are you adjusting
to your return to public life?
You know, perhaps I can
relate on a small level.
Until I married
your sister, unless water
was spraying from a faucet,
no one cared what I did.
I must say, it's been
quite disorienting.
I'm not used
to being fussed over.
It's all this
poking and prodding
and focus
on my appearance, which
takes some getting used to.
Well, perhaps I can sympathize.
I have found it a little
unsettling for myself also.
The work I do is with
my hands, not my face.
Why should this matter?
Oh, it matters.
Right?
I suppose that dinner
went as well as expected.
At least no one threw anything.
Small blessings, right?
I just hope the wedding
goes half as well.
It will.
Oh, girl, you always
beat me at this game.
I don't even know why I try.
Here, just take the whole deck.
Take it.
I am going to go
and Insta stalk Cody,
see if he has any brothers.
Good luck.
Nighty night.
Night.
We have to stop these
late night rendezvous
or else people
will start to talk,
and then we shall
have to get married.
Can you imagine?
I want to show you something.
You know, I don't wish to
alarm you, but when I was a boy,
I heard a tale that
this tower was haunted
by my great, great,
great grandmother,
Gertrude, who died here rather
than surrender it to your lot,
Vostieris.
Well, I was told the ghost
was a distant cousin who
died defending it
from the Androvians.
Ah.
You don't suppose that perhaps
our educations were skewed
in such a way as to paint
in a more favorable light
our respective families, do you?
What?
Are you implying that
it wasn't entirely
true when I was told
the Vostieris basically
invented civilization?
Just speculating.
Did you hear that?
Where are you taking me?
You'll see.
Yeah, no, but actually where?
This is what I
wanted to show you.
Wow.
How did you know about it?
Well, for a while, as a girl, I
would obsess over the schematics
of all the castles,
certain that I would
find a secret passage
leading to hidden treasure.
Unfortunately,
I never thought to look
for a hidden bowling alley.
Who knows what we'll see.
But you once told me that you
wanted to study astronomy.
Wait, it's early August.
Did you bring me here
to see the Perseids?
Tonight, the meteor
shower is supposed to peak.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
There's one.
Look, there's another one.
I can't tell if you're
just indulging me
or you genuinely get excited
every time you see another one.
Surely you've seen
shooting stars before.
Of course I have.
But it doesn't matter
if you've seen 100,000 of them.
It doesn't mean
that each one can't
have its own unique beauty.
I imagine that's what
it's like to be in love.
Doesn't matter if you've
been with someone for years.
Your heart still
skips a beat every
time they walk in the room.
Imagine?
You make it sound like you've
never been in love before.
I don't suppose I have.
Not really.
Well, of course, there
was an infatuation or two
at university,
but the engagement...
I was betrothed
to your sister before I
even knew what a crush was.
Hm.
I'm actually really
sorry that didn't work out.
I'm also really sorry you
had to settle for the spare.
My sister certainly would
never trip over her hem.
In fact, she's
much better suited
to all the required
pageantry than I am.
I can't say I'm disappointed.
I also don't think
your sister would ever
remember some throwaway
comment about astronomy,
bring me up on this
roof to see this.
Look at that one.
Desmond.
Desmond, wake up.
Just five more minutes.
This is the nicest sleep
I've had for weeks.
Knowing Edwin,
he's probably already
alerted the authorities I've
done something nefarious to you.
Let's hope nobody's
noticed we've gone.
Yes, let's hope.
Allow me to help you with that.
Stuck.
We're trapped up here.
What?
What are we going to do?
Ah.
Just kidding.
Imagine how awkward that
would have been, though.
You're evil.
My heart stopped.
Where have you two been?
We've had the entire
staff looking for you.
Yes, I'd say the thing
about that is that...
I'm sorry.
It's my fault.
Again?
Your Highness, you appear
to becoming a bad influence.
Edwin, I will remind
you that you are
speaking to your future queen.
Apologies,
Your Highness, but your
official prenuptial luncheon
starts in less than three hours.
Thus, there is a team
of stylists awaiting
for you in your quarters.
I assumed this wedding
was more about politics
than presentation.
Might I remind Her Highness
that presentation is politics?
The entire Alsinian province
was clearly ceded to Androvia
in the Treaty of 1628.
That was a treaty
that was never ratified.
Even within Androvia, that
treaty was widely dismissed.
Oh, you're an expert
on Androvian history now?
It's a moot point to even
try and bring that up,
since the joint occupancy
accord, agreed to in 1923,
set up a 99-year mutual tenancy,
which would have superseded it.
That was most graciously
proposed by my own grandfather,
so I think I would know
about the accord of 1923.
Then you would also know
about the underlying agreement
that upon the accord's
expiration,
ownership would
revert to Vostieri.
Nonsense!
There was never
an underlying agreement.
That is pure fiction.
The only fiction
going on here is
that we're supposed to believe
that's your real hair.
Or is the real
fiction your waistline?
How much Spandex are
you strapped into?
Sir.
That's my girl.
Darling, that's
not very ladylike.
Well, something had
to be done, Mother.
With all due respect,
what was supposed to be
a purely ceremonial luncheon
has yet again devolved
into another failed summit.
Now, if you would
allow me, I believe
I have a way through this.
Chloe, we're doing a conflict
resolution workshop.
Awesome!
This seems entirely irregular.
Father, please.
These outdated treaties that the
two of you been fighting over
have done neither of our
countries any good at all,
have they?
Your Majesties have
both been given
ample opportunity
to find a solution,
and you haven't been able to.
So might I suggest that
the crown princess is
given the opportunity
to provide some much
needed fresh perspective.
Beatrix, dear, this is really
not the appropriate time.
Papa, darling, this
is what Bea does.
If you could all
just let her speak,
I think you'll find
we have a rather
gifted diplomat amongst us.
Thank you.
You've got this.
Can we get a whiteboard in here?
I think we can all agree we'd
like to resolve this matter
and find a permanent solution,
not kick it down the road
like your grandparents did.
Quite right.
Excuse me, dear.
Which word are we
trying to come up with?
There's not a right
or a wrong word.
It's just that you each
have to use the letter
you have to make a word.
In this situation, what
would a win look like to you?
Not ever having
to deal with this problem
for the rest of my life.
OK, I'll put that down as a win.
OK, queens, let's
do a trust fall.
I'd like you to stand
in front like this.
P for palace.
And you're just going to fall
back and trust that my mum is
going to catch you.
K for king.
Service.
Bird.
I'm slightly worried that
our liveries might clash.
Edwin, please.
Fall.
Queens.
That was great.
I know you two went
to boarding school together.
King Richmond, I don't
want you to think about it.
I want you to just blurt out a
word that comes to mind of when
you first met my father.
I suppose inspiring.
Did you say inspiring?
The first word
that came to mind.
Why do you think that is?
I was 11 years old.
I was fairly sheltered,
and suddenly I was shipped off
to a Swiss boarding
school, which was supposed
to make a man out of me.
Admittedly, I was terrified.
But then I met Winston.
He was a year older.
He seemed to be the only
boy there who could
truly understand my position.
He inspired me that I
could make my way there.
OK.
Great word, inspiring.
Father, what word
comes to mind of when
you first met King Richmond?
I suppose comrade.
It was awkward with
the other boys.
Given my royal standing,
I felt quite isolated.
So when Richmond
arrived, I finally
felt like I had a comrade,
someone I could confide in and
team up with, as it were.
We did make quite
a team, didn't we, rather?
We did indeed.
Do you remember the water
tower adventure?
Do I?
I commissioned a painting
of that very water tower.
It hangs in my personal study.
So how did it go from that
to this current animosity?
When I graduated, my father
told me I had to put all that
behind me and be a true leader.
He drilled into me that the
Androvians or basically anyone
on the other side
of any border...
Can't be trusted.
And do you think
that mistrust has
been a win for either of you?
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
I'm very pleased and,
frankly, a little
surprised to announce that
after a private meeting
this afternoon, King
Richmond and King Winston
have come to an agreement which
would establish a mutual shared
occupancy
of the Alsinian province,
overseen by an independent
council made up of appointees
from both countries.
Any questions?
With our signatures,
we enact the new treaty.
We also announce
a new free trade
agreement between
our two countries, which
will benefit both economies.
And, as an added benefit,
my son is not forced
into a marriage of convenience.
My daughter does not have
to marry a man she barely knows.
And with that, I return
this token of your affection.
And I accept this ring and
release you from your engagement
to me.
Excellent.
Well, ah, thank you very much.
Thank you.
I suppose we both rather
dodged a bullet there,
didn't we?
Yes.
Lucky for both of us, wasn't it?
You're relieved, I'm
sure, to be able to go back
to your old life in Boston.
Well, you sort
of blew my cover there,
so it's not exactly
going to be the same.
But having a higher
profile is already
benefiting the foundation,
and all of this
has taught me a new
meaning of public service.
A princess for the people.
Sounds like a great
story to teach children.
But I truly hope the next time
you give that to someone, it's
not out of political
expediency but
because you're really in love.
We hope for the best.
Princess Beatrix
Vostieri, it has been
our pleasure to have met you.
We feel it has been an honor.
Fantastic news.
We got the grant, and it's
for more than what we asked for.
This should fund us
for the next five years.
Bea?
Yeah, good.
That's good.
If we got this
news back in Boston,
we'd be jumping up
and down right now.
You're right.
This is stupid.
Sorry, that's great news.
Except here I am just
staring at my hand.
Is there something
wrong with it?
OK, fine.
I didn't even like
the ring anyway.
It was too big and gaudy
and totally not my style.
And yet your hand sort
of looks empty without it now.
And that's stupid, right?
No, it's not stupid.
Especially because this
isn't about the ring, is it?
I've only known him
a couple of weeks.
What I'm feeling
can't be real, right?
Honey, it doesn't matter if it's
a few weeks or months or years.
If it's real, it's real.
Did you tell him how you feel?
No.
He seemed relieved,
so I acted relieved.
It's too late now.
Now he's gone.
- Let's go after him.
- What?
How would we even...
I have an idea.
Meet you out front
in five minutes.
Five minutes.
Hey!
Oh, great.
I borrowed it from
one of the staff.
Get GPS up on your phone.
If we can find
a couple of shortcuts,
we can beat him to the border.
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
OK, you good?
- Yeah.
All right.
Take the next left!
Got it.
Ew!
I swallowed a bug.
Ugh!
Go around.
OK.
Stop the car.
Stop the car!
Desmond, darling, are
you feeling quite well?
No, Mother, I have
to say that I'm not.
I should think you'd
be over the moon.
We have peacefully resolved
the issues, and going forward,
relations between
the two countries
shall be better than ever.
Which is great news
for everyone concerned,
Father, except for me.
I've dedicated my entire
life to this country.
But there's something
that I have to do
now that's just for myself.
Son, this is craziness.
At the very least, we can send
Edward and security with you
for whatever you have to do.
No, Father.
This is something that
I have to do on my own.
But trust me, I'm
going to be all right.
This isn't like you.
Can't you see?
The boy is dealing
with a broken heart.
Let him go.
Thank you, Mama.
Desmond, couldn't have thought
of this before you got so
far from the border, could you?
What's wrong?
We're out of gas.
Oh, no.
We've definitely
missed them by now.
Hey, we don't know that.
You might still be
able to catch him.
You should go.
- You'll be OK?
- Yeah, yeah.
Go!
Go!
You go, girl!
What are you doing?
Where's your security detail?
I gave them the slip
like you taught me.
Oh, god.
I need to invest in some sweats.
These are not the right
shoes for this.
What are you doing here?
Those things I
said last night...
Last night.
Look, I said that
we dodged a bullet,
but the truth is, I
don't particularly
want to dodge that bullet.
- You don't?
No.
And perhaps this is crazy.
Like your father said, we
hardly know each other.
But I've never felt
this way before.
I'm completely in love with you.
I feel the same way.
I think I still have it.
What are you doing?
I'm asking this not
because I'm the prince
and you're the princess
and it's our duty,
but because I, Desmond, am
truly in love with you, Beatrix.
Will you marry me?
I will marry you
for exactly that reason.
You know, you could change
your shirt this season.
No way.
This is my favorite shirt.
And if I take this off,
the Bruins will lose.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
Hey, what's this
fancy-looking envelope?
Wait, are these airline tickets?
First class.
This a joke?
Hold on, let me see the card.
Wow, there's a note
written in it.
"Dear Rooster and Alice, you did
say you wanted couple friends."
What?
Shut up.
These are our friends
from the bowling alley.
Are you freaking kidding me?
What have we done?
What kind of chaos
have we unleashed?
It is a wedding between
two royal families.
And Edwin's involved,
so you can't
have expected an intimate
affair, just the two of us.
Yes, but seating 500 guests.
How are we going to do that?
And do we really know
who all these people are?
I mean, this one, for example...
Johnny Payne?
Ah, yes.
The heir to the Glasswick.
Dukedom.
He's the son of my Uncle Willie.
That's on my mother's side.
I see.
And his plus one is
a Miss Prudence Thorpe.
But why are they seated
at a table with the Americans?
Oh, that was quite the scandal.
You see, Willie went
over to America,
had a secret wife
and a hidden heir.
I see.
But shouldn't he be seated
with his parents, William and
Dorothy?
Should be seated with his
highness's cousin, Henry.
Yes, because Henry is
going out with an American,
Princess Sweet Pea.
Princess Sweet Pea,
the theme park princess?
You know she's not real, right?
Apparently she's
real enough to be
eating lobster at our wedding.
Well, if all this goes south,
I'll be over there drinking
beer with Rooster and Alice.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we run
out for some pizza?
And I'll see you
At midnight