The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Movie Script

I've lived in this city
all my life.
I'm Max.
And I'm the luckiest dog
in New York
because of her.
That's Katie.
Katie and I...
Well, we have
the perfect relationship.
We met a few years ago.
And, boy, let me tell ya,
we got along right away.
It was one of those
where you just know.
And get this!
She was looking for a roommate.
And so was I!
So I just moved
in that same day.
It was perfect.
We've been
together ever since...
Katie would do
anything for me.
And I'm her loyal protector.
Our love is...
How do I put this?
Our love is
stronger than words.
Or shoes.
It's me and Katie.
Katie and me.
Us against the world.
I wouldn't go so far as
to call us soul mates,
even though any sane person
who saw us would.
There's just one
little problem.
Pretty much every day...
Come on, Max.
...she leaves.
I'll see you tonight.
Sometimes I try stuff
to get her to stay.
That's a good boy.
But it never works.
Where is she going?
What could she
possibly be doing?
Oh, I miss her so much.
Oh my!
She's back!
Forgot my phone.
What took so long?
Why did you...
Oh, come on!
I miss her so much.
Bye, Gidget.
Be a good doggy.
Hey, Max.
Hey, Gidget.
Any plans today?
Uh, yes.
Big, big stuff today,
Gidget. I got big plans.
I'm gonna sit here, and I'm gonna
wait for Katie to come back.
Oh, that sounds
Well, I won't interrupt.
I've got a very busy day, too.
Here you go.
See you later, Chloe.
MAN 13 Bye, Peppy.
So long, Mel.
Bye, Sweetpea.
See you, Gino.
- Bye, Mr. Wiggles.
- So long, pal.
I'll miss you, Shelly!
Later, Runty.
Bye, everyone.
You be a good boy, Leonard.
Hey, Max.
Hey, Chloe, do you ever wonder
where they go during the day?
Do you know what?
I just...
I don't really care.
Maybe that's what
it's like for you,
but Katie and I have
a different relationship.
You're a cat.
So maybe that's why.
Because nobody could ever love
a cat the way they love a dog.
I'm just saying.
Maybe that's why.
Whatever you need
to tell yourself.
Hey! Morning, Max!
What's up, Sweetpea?
Hey, Mel,
where you been, man?
Oh! Get this!
Last Sunday, my owner feeds
me a small white pill, right?
I start to feel
a little groggy.
The next thing I know,
I wake up, I'm in the sky!
Wait a minute. The sky?
Yeah. There are suitcases everywhere.
I'm locked up in a crate.
Come on. There
are suitcases in the sky?
So, I pass out from fear,
and when I wake up
I'm in Florida.
Um. This
did not happen.
I will never eat a
pill like that again.
Unless it's covered
in peanut butter.
Because, I mean, come on! Right?
It's peanut butter!
Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, Norman.
You still looking for your apartment?
Yeah. Going
on three weeks now.
Is this the second
or the third floor?
I don't know any numbers,
but, uh, you don't live here.
Ah! Pellets!
Well, see you guys later.
You know what?
You can do it!
He can't do it.
There you are.
Did you find it?
You know I did.
Ball, ball, ball!
Katie's gonna
be so excited!
This is exactly like
the one she lost!
I mean, look at it!
It's round.
It fits in my mouth.
ALL; Ball!
There is no
other ball in the city
like this one ball, guaranteed.
This is the ball.
I'm home, Max.
Hey, Maximilian.
How was your day, buddy?
That's a good boy.
Oh, yes. I'm so psyched
to see you too, buddy.
Okay, boy.
Calm down, it's okay.
Let's all be calm.
Now, I have
some big news.
I know this'll
take some getting used to,
but I think it's gonna be a
great thing in the long...
Max, this is Duke.
He's going
to be your
No, Max.
It's gonna be
all right, Duke.
It's okay.
Aww. See?
He likes you.
Yeah, that's it, Duke. Take
a look around.
I know, buddy.
This is a lot to take in.
But he didn't
have a home.
So you and I are gonna have
to take care of him.
Oh, my gosh!
Duke found
our lost ball!
What a great team we're gonna be.
Love you, Maxie.
Love you, Duke.
Sleep tight, boys.
Hey. Little guy.
This place
is so great!
By the way...
That is one
gorgeous bed.
Yeah, it's okay.
Maybe we could share?
You know, one night you get the bed.
The next night, I do.
That kind of thing.
You know,
this bed is mine.
You? You get
an old blanket.
That suits you.
You're an old-blanket kind of a dog.
on, WOW.
You are stubborn.
Hey, I get it.
I'm stubborn, too.
But we gotta learn to get along.
Wait. What are you...
I bet we can both fit in
this bed if we really try.
Let me scoot on
in there.
No, wait.
Perfect. This is
comfy, right?
No, it is not.
I'm comfy.
Duke is just
ruining our lives!
It's an emergency that
you get rid of this dog.
He stole my...
And he's scary,
and he's frightening,
and he's the death
of all good things.
Aww. You little
cutie pie.
We'll play tomorrow,
Okay, sleep well.
Are you trying
to get rid of me?
Before I answer that...
I'd like to know
how much you heard.
So, that's how
it's gonna be, huh?
Oh, man, are you
making me angry!
And when I get angry,
I do this.
And I don't want to do that.
I need this place.
And if it's gonna
come down to you or me...
It's gonna be me.
Morning, Max!
Max! Max! What
are you doing? Hi!
It's me! Hi! Hi!
Chloe, Chloe! I got a bad situation.
Katie brought
home a new dog from the pound.
She said he's my brother.
I don't want a brother.
I don't even
have a bed now.
I'm sleeping on the floor,
like a dog.
Why would Katie
do this to me?
Because she's
a dog person, Max.
And dog people do weird,
inexplicable things.
Like they get dogs
instead of cats.
Okay, please don't
start now, Chloe.
That is not helping.
Max? Come on,
I'm your friend.
Okay? And as your friend,
I gotta be honest with you.
I don't care about you
or your problems.
But if you don't do something
about this guy, and soon,
your perfect little life
with your dumb, bleh, human
is gonna be over, forever.
Forever. Yeah,
that's what I just...
Why is this mouse
on my paw still?
Look, if you really
want to get your turf back
you're gonna have to start
acting like the alpha dog.
Right. Alpha dog.
I can do that.
Okay, okay.
Please don't go!
This time,
really don't go.
I'm running late. I gotta go.
Wait, wait. Stay!
Stay for the trick.
"Spin!" I'm doing "spin."
You guys be good.
I'll see you later.
Wait. No, look...
Okay, Max.
Listen, Duke. I'm not
sure if you're aware,
but one of those
food bowls, technically...
It's reserved for...
I know, maybe you didn't
read the names, but...
That's my bowl.
I know that it... Hey...
I was just thinking,
I don't know,
maybe we could institute
some ground rules.
I just thought that...
Or not.
I don't need a bowl.
Here again?
Oh, Duke.
Duke, Katie is not...
Katie's gonna be so upset
when she sees that.
Katie's gonna flip out...
When she sees how you
trashed her whole place.
Oh, it's just one vase.
Is it, Duke? Is it?
Oh, that's a shame.
What are you doing?
Whoa, what am I doing?
I'm a cute little doggy.
Katie knows I wouldn't
do anything like this.
No, no. Whoa!
This could only be the work
of a dangerous stray,
who hasn't laid down a
foundation of trust.
You're the new dog.
And, Duke, what'd
you go and do this for?
I'm gonna...
What? Bite me?
Rip my face off?
Perfect. Wait till
Katie finds out.
Oh! Help, Katie! Thank
goodness you're here.
I tried to stop him,
but he's crazy!
Now, sit.
Okay, okay, okay.
Lay down.
Good boy.
Hi, Max.
Hey, Gidget.
Who's your
new roommate?
Is it a girl dog
or a boy dog?
Not that I care.
It doesn't matter to me.
Oh, that's nobody, Gidget.
He's just visiting.
Yeah, he's gonna be
gone soon.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, hi.
Your hat is the best
hat I've ever seen.
Uh, excuse me.
You forgot my leash.
Never mind.
Hey, fellas, how's it...
Hey, fellas, how's it...
Hey, fellas...
Oh, uh...
Say, Duke...
Be a good lad and bring
me a stick, won't you?
It would please me to
chew on a stick just now.
You heard me. Fetch.
Nah, not that one.
That one doesn't
please me.
Find a really
good one, Duke.
Yeah, that's it.
Hey, Max. Boy!
Oh, wow.
There are a ton of
sticks over here, Max!
You should come over and look at them.
Yeah, I wanna make sure I
grab you the right one.
Well, that's
very, uh, thoughtful.
Look at all
these sticks!
MAXI Whoa!
Help! Help!
Hey, did you
hear that?
Butterfly! Let's get it!
Wha... What's...
Help! Help!
So long!
Don't leave me here!
Didn't have to
be this way, Max.
No hard feelings!
What's going on here?
Mind your own business. Oh, my
gosh, what happened to you?
I had a fight.
All right?
With a
big, stupid dog.
He lost.
Oh, you're headed into dangerous
territory there, kitty-cat.
I'd watch your tone,
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna cut you into
string, ball you up,
and then bat you
around for hours
in a game that
only I understand.
Oh, very nice.
I'll take that!
Ooh! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
You want to start with
me, little raisin?
Get your umbrellas
out, kitties,
because here they come!
The thunder
and the lightning!
Right down on your face!
Gosh, there are a lot
of you up there.
I'm talking about the thunder and
the lightning that's coming down
on all of your
collective faces!
Attack on three...
I just remembered
I gotta be somewhere!
That guy, huh? Am I right?
Okay. You know what? I'm just gonna...
No offense, but good-bye!
You little...
You came back?
It's the po-po! Scram!
Two, four, six, eight... Hmm...
See you tomorrow,
You know it.
Eh, okay.
Sheez, did you see that?
Yeah, I saw it.
Throw it with your arm,
you lazy weirdo!
I would not fetch that. I'm old-school.
Thanks a lot, Duke.
I don't like to
use this phrase
because it's offensive
to our kind,
but you are
a bad dog!
Katie's not
going to like this.
I can't go
to the pound.
What? What's wrong
with you?
Well, Katie just...
She just got me
out of the pound.
And if I go back...
Max, it's the end
of the line for me.
Yes! Mmm...
Why? Why?
What's the matter, Maria?
Maria, your face,
it wears
a thousand sorrows.
What is wrong?
Oh, I have come
with the worst thing
in the world.
What? Oh, tell me,
Maria. Tell me now!
I cannot bear another
moment without knowing!
Max! Max!
Max? Huh?
Hey, I see you,
This is not
your area!
We marked that tree!
Don't you try and hide!
I can see... Oh!
What was that?
- How dare you!
- Guys, where's Max?
Nobody likes you,
Guys, seriously,
where is Max?
Calm down, girl.
He's right...
Huh. He is gone.
Oh, it's fine.
I heard him screaming after he
disappeared into those bushes.
Max is gone?
This is bad.
This is so bad.
Maria, if he is
your true love
you must go to him!
Save him! Save him!
Yes! Yes!
Save my true love!
I'm coming, Max!
Hi, Chloe. If anyone
asks,... -
I'm on my way to the
roof to look for Max.
Okay, bye-bye.
Whoa. You see that?
Yeah, give me
a second.
Oh! Hey, there,
cute little bunny.
Whatcha doing in the middle of the road?
What's going on?
What the...
Save yourself!
Shut it, human!
Let's do this!
Now! Yeah!
Get off me!
Wait up!
Get off me, pig!
Get off!
Ow! Ow!
What's happening?
I don't know!
Ripper! Ripper,
where you at?
Let's go, Ripper! I'm busting
you outta here!.
The revolution has begun!
Liberated forever!
Domesticated never!
Who's driving
this thing?
Ha, ha!
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
Who are you guys?
Huh? Who are we?
Who are we?
We are the Flushed Pets...
Thrown away
by our owners
and now we are
out for revenge!
It's like a club,
but with biting
and scratching.
Take us with you!
I don't think so, pets.
Yeah, you got the stench
of domestication all over you.
You chose your side. And
now you're gonna burn.
No! Stop!
Who you calling "pets"?
I ain't no pet!
You got it all wrong!
We're just like you guys.
We hate humans.
Yeah! That's right!
Hate them.
Oh, man, don't get me started on people.
Am I right, Duke?
Yeah, that's why we
burned our collars, man!
We burned them
to the ground!
And killed our owners!
Yeah... Wait a minute,
that's too far maybe?
No, they dig it.
Yes, we whacked them.
Yeah, that's right!
Bang, bang with
our own paws!
If I had a dime
for every owner I killed...
Oh. yeah!
I'd have a dime.
Because I just
killed the one.
Oh, y'all cold-blooded.
Oh, man, you remind me
of my boy, Ricky.
He died, though.
RIP, Ricky!
The truth is, the struggle
could use some more muscle.
All right, look,
I'll tell you what.
We'll bust the both of you out of here.
But understand this.
From now on,
you work for me.
That's fine. Sounds
like a fun challenge.
All right, guys,
let's do this!
To the sewers!
The sewers?
What are y'all waiting for?
I'm not playing.
I said...
To the sewers!
Long live
the revolution, suckers!
I can do it.
Oh, where are you, Max?
Looks like
you could use a little help.
Who said that?
Over here.
In this dark and
foreboding shed.
I can see for miles.
If you let me out,
I'll find your friend.
Wow! Really?
Oh! You're so sweet.
You're sweet, too.
Thanks, stranger.
But not too sweet.
There's also a salty,
gamey thing going on.
Yeah, that's me.
Come on, let's get you
out of that shed.
Yeah, that's it.
Just step over
the pile of bones.
Pile of bones.
Okay, will do.
I sure hope
Max is safe.
You're a very
thoughtful food.
"Food"? I didn't say that.
I said "friend."
I meant food...
Ff lend.
You know what I meant.
I'm sure lucky
I found you, uh...
And, yes, this is
a very good thing for you,
this whole
"meeting me" thing.
Take off my hood.
The chain!
Oh! You tried
to eat me!
I'm sorry.
You should be sorry. You
deserve to be locked up.
You're a bad,
bad bird.
I can't help it. I was born
with killer instincts.
That is just
no excuse.
You're right. Even for a
predator, I'm selfish.
I'm a selfish predator.
It's no wonder
I have no friends.
This is hopeless.
Oh, don't... There's
no need to cry.
I'm sorry that I
yelled at you before.
Please, take off
the chain.
This time I'll help
you. I promise.
This is gonna sound completely
horrible, but, um...
I don't fully
trust you.
Oh, no, no, no...
But, I guess everyone
deserves a second chance.
And you are just
a lonely, old bird.
And you do have
weird manners
because you live in a
weird shed on a roof.
So, I'll tell you what.
If you find Max...
I'll be your
best friend.
Best friend?
You and me?
That sounds nice.
Let's do this.
So, what does
this Max look like?
Brown and white.
He's a short-hair,
roguishly handsome.
He's got a sparkle
in his eye.
He sounds dreamy.
You have no idea.
I mean, what?
Whatever. Shut up.
If my owner comes
put on the hood and
pretend to be me.
Okay, thank you!
The smell is disgusting... good.
This is all so great.
Love it here.
Look! Look at me.
I am your leader.
The leader does not
recite the password.
The leader makes up
the password, idiots.
Everybody, I'm making up
a new password right now.
The new password is...
"Don't ask the leader
for the password!"
Follow me.
Welcome to the
underbelly, brothers.
Home of the Flushed Pets.
Brothers and
As you see,
I've returned from the surface
with two new recruits.
These guys are
Hey, hey!
Settle down!
Guys, I want you to tell
them how you did it.
Go ahead. Tell them
the whole story
about how you
took out your owner.
Don't leave out nothing.
We love gory detail, here.
Oh, yeah!
Tell us!
So, tell them, Max.
Okay, so.
I was like...
Well, we were like...
Take that!
Stupid owner.
So, that's who
you're dealing with.
That story bored me
to death.
Give us detail!
Okay. Max?
Okay, well, uh...
So, there's this thing
in the kitchen...
Yeah. Table!
It's flat.
And then round on
just the end of it.
A Spoon?
Yes, a spoon!
You can't hurt
someone with a spoon.
You scoop with a spoon.
How many people
wanna know
how to kill somebody
with a spoon?
I do! Oh, yeah!
Okay. Uh, well...
We used the spoon...
Hit a button on the
machine on the counter...
Right, and it's got those...
The, uh, you know.
Those blades.
The, uh... It's got blades!
Was it a blender?
You blended somebody?
He talking about
the blender, guys.
Oh, please, tell me
it was a blender!
Hey,buddy,I don't ask what it's
called, we just kill with it.
But it was a blender.
Whoo! Do y'all hear this?
You know who was
like this? Ricky!
Rest in peace!
Ricky was the
only soldier I had
that was ready to
kill humans on sight.
Everybody else
need a pep talk.
Not these two brothers.
See, all of us have suffered
at the hands of man.
I mean, take me for instance.
I was a magician's rabbit
for kids' parties.
But then bunny tricks
went out of style.
So, what did
my owner do?
My owner went and
left magic behind
and made me disappear...
From his life!
I lived
in a tattoo parlor!
The trainees used
to practice on me!
Until they ran out
of space!
I mean, yes,
humans say they love us.
But then they turn around
and throw us out like garbage.
Ain't that right,
It's not our fault we
don't look like the ad!
All right, you guys
are joining the brotherhood.
It's initiation time!
Oh, yeah!
The what? I'm sorry, what time?
Summon the Viper!
Uh, is this
Viper poisonous?
Because I should warn you,
I'm very allergic to poison!
All right.
Show her!
Max's collar!
Where is he?
What happened to him?
I ain't saying
You're gonna tell
us where Max is.
And you're gonna
tell us now!
Is this supposed
to scare me?
I'm a cat.
I land on my feet.
Does it always happen?
Because your head looks like
it's taken a lot of landings.
Do you want me
to cut you?
Beoause I'll cut you this way and that.
You'll look like a waffle.
He's too stupid to talk,
and too ugly to eat.
I'm done
playing nice!
Where is Max?
Tell me!
Let me finish... Ow!
Help me! Ow!
Don't look at him. Look at me.
Nobody can help you!
Where is Max?
Okay! Okay!
He's in the sewers!
He got taken!
Please! Have mercy...
Adorable puffy dog!
Snake bite!
Snake bite! Snake bite!
As proof of your
you will now
receive the bite
of a one-fanged,
half-blind Viper
fueled by a diet
of anti-human rage!
Who wants
to go first?
Uh... Okay,
here's the thing, though.
Tiny Dog-
Can I call you
"Tiny Dog"?
It fits you.
Let's admit that.
Between you and the fat
dog, I like you the best.
Oh, thank you!
Tiny Dog's gonna go first.
TD's going first!
Tiny Dog does not want to go first.
Take the fat dog!
Snake bite!
No, no, no.
Snake bite! Snake bite!
Snake bite!
What are you doing initiating
a couple domestics?
Yeah. We just jumped
those two in the alley.
Slashed off their collars.
That's not true.
You said you
burned your collars.
Well, "burned," "lost,"
"had them stolen by cats."
It's all just words,
really, isn't it?
You don't deserve to
be marked by the Viper.
Oh, no. We'll just
show ourselves out.
You deserve
to be eaten
by the Viper.
Get those leash lovers!
Hold on.
Go get them,
Duke. Whoa!
Uh, fellas, that
was an accident.
You squished
the sacred Viper!
He's a flapjack.
Oh, Viper!
Viper, you in a better place!
You and Ricky!
You ain't never did
nothing to nobody!
Well, you bit a lot
of people, Viper.
So, technically, you might
actually deserve this.
This might be something
that was long overdue.
But it shouldn't have came like this.
Not on my watch.
Get them!
Oh, no!
Come on!
Ah! Wait up, Duke!
We're sorry. Can this be
over now?
We've got a problem.
We have so
many problems.
Which one do you
mean at this moment?
Stop running, dummies!
Stop it right now!
Hold your breath!
Hold my breath? Ah!
Get them!
This is my least favorite part
of this whole thing so far!
I am afraid that I have
some terrible news.
The squirrels are gonna
take over the world!
I knew it!
I always said, squirrels are
little shifty little guys.
No. We're not doing the squirrel
thing right now. That's not...
Max is missing!
He's out there somewhere.
Lost. Scared.
So, so handsome.
We have got to find him
and bring him home!
But the outside world
is loud and scary.
Ooh! Is that a hawk?
This is my friend, Tiberius.
He's going to help us.
He's not going to eat us.
We've already been over it.
Come on, Gidget. We go out
there without a leash...
We'll get
caught by a net.
Or something worse!
Yeah, like a hawk!
We're wasting time!
Max needs us!
Come on, girl, Max doesn't
even know you're alive.
Well, I don't care!
I love him! I love him
with all of my heart!
And I'm gonna go look for Max,
no matter who's with me.
Who's with me?
All right, fine. Fine.
Oh, come on, guys.
I can't believe you.
When I got my claws
caught in the curtains
who pulled me down?
Max did.
Buddy, Mel.
When you were fixed, who taught
you to sit the comfortable way?
Max did!
Max did!
Max did.
He did it!
And when that random cat
tried to eat Sweetpea
who saved him?
It wasn't a random cat.
It was you.
The identity of the random
cat is not the point.
We're talking
about who saved him!
Max did!
We gotta save him. We
gotta go save Max! Yeah!
Yeah! Let's go
save Max!
Uh, which one
is Max, again?
No! Bad, bad bird.
Nice little guy.
Nice little guy.
I like this bird.
Crazy bird.
Come on!
We gotta get to shore.
I only know the doggy paddle!
And I don't know it well!
Swim, Tiny Dog. Swim!
Max, grab the ring!
I can't!
Keep it up, Max!
You're doing...
Well, you're not
doing great.
But you're not drowning,
and that's something!
You're almost there!
Thanks, Duke.
No problem.
I'm going home.
Isn't home that way?
Ah! Seriously?
They're going
to Brooklyn.
They say everyone's going
to Brooklyn these days.
It's making
a real comeback.
I'm not talking about
hipster real estate trends.
I'm talking about
Death is coming
to Brooklyn.
And it's got buck teeth
and a cotton tail.
Let's go!
Hi, how are you?
Chug! Chug! Chug!
What is this crazy joint?
This is Pops' place.
His owner is never home,
so it's kind of a hot spot.
Pops knows everyone
in this city.
If he agrees to help us,
Max is as good as found.
Tell me
you got that!
Oh, heck yes, I did.
What's up, Peanut?
Hey, Buddy.
You see Pops
around here?
Yeah, he's over there.
Hey, Pops.
Mud and sweet potatoes.
Who's that? What?
hey, Buddy.
How you been,
Great! Listen,
Mr. Pops,
our friend Max
was taken.
Last we heard,
he was lost in the sewers.
Buddy said that maybe
you could help us.
You know, I do know
a guy in the sewers,
but, ah,
I don't
go out anymore.
What a waste of time.
Who said that?
Oh, I said it.
By the way, I meant
no offense, I just...
Have you seen yourself?
well, well...
Looky what we
apparently have here.
Meezy would like
to have a look-see.
Myron! Brows!
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Me like what me see.
Well, what me can see.
It's all
an attractive blur.
Uh. Little lady,
this is my city.
I'll find your friend.
All right,
party's over!
Myron! Vacuum!
So, where are you
from, my fuzzy angel?
Dude, I'm a cat.
Well, nobody's perfect.
I'm so hungry.
Oh, man. Would you
look at that sandwich!
All right. Time
to work the gift.
No, no, no!
Okay, this'll be fine.
We're fine.
We can find our way home.
We are descended
from the mighty wolf!
We have raw, primal instincts
that are mere
moments away
from kicking in
and leading us home!
I cannot wait!
Here it comes!
Wait! Oh, I...
I don't
know, Duke.
Maybe the legend of dogs coming
from wolves is just wrong.
Maybe one puppy asked his mom,
"Where did we come from?"
And the mom said,
And the kid was
like "Oh, wolves?"
And she was like,
"Yeah, fine."
You smell that?
Oh, man, it is.
Well, then,
what are we waiting for?
We're coming
for you, baby!
Lower the ramp,
Who are they?
This is Puffball,
Weiner Dog,
Yellow Bird,
Guinea Pig Joe.
And, of course,
my girlfriend Rhonda.
100% wrong.
Good enough.
Come on! Let's go!
Move it or lose it!
Every bird instinct
I have says
don't follow a dog
on wheels.
Um, Mr. Pops, sir.
Shouldn't we be
heading to the sewers?
Now, if we take
the human route,
getting there is
gonna take days.
You may have lots of time,
but for me every breath
is a cliffhanger.
So, we gotta take
the secret route.
Okay. The secret
route was death.
Well, that's that,
I guess.
Come on!
Get down here!
Keep moving!
Oh, no.
Stop it! Look away!
Come on! I don't
have all day!
Come on, slowpokes!
Ugh! What is
that smell?
It's poo-poo
with a dash of caca.
The scent is
getting stronger.
Oh, man.
Duke, let's eat!
Oh, yes!
Oh, it smells
so good!
Oh yes!
Come on, boys!
Holy schnitzel!
We go together Like rama lama
lama ka dinga da dinga dong
Remembered forever
As shoo-bop sha wadda wadda
yippity boom de boom
Chang chang
changitty chang sha-bop
That's the way it should be
Wha-oooh, yeah!
We're for each other Like a wop
ba-ba lu-bop and wop bam boom
Just like my brother is
yippity dip de doom
Chang chang
changitty chang sha-bop
We'll always be together
Wha-oooh, yeah!
a weird vibe, man.
All right, now, these
guys are a bit testy.
So, just let me
do the talking.
Hey, you crybaby!
Where's the Viper at?
Don't you worry,
You will not
be forgotten!
You will be avenged, Viper!
If you don't believe me,
you can look at
my battle plans.
It's all laid out right here.
Uh, boss...
I can't tell
who anyone is.
Well, you gotta really
look at it to understand it.
That's you guys right here.
And, see, that's Brooklyn.
That's where we
gonna get them dogs.
Bam! Bam!
That ball of fluff's
got a screw loose.
Let's skedaddle.
You get it,
you see what I'm saying.
Bottom line is, I'm coming
right for you, Tiny Dog!
And that big, fat, brown dog?
He gonna get it, too.
Tiny Dog?
There are lots of
tiny dogs in the city.
I mean, you're a tiny dog, okay?
So, let's just go.
He also said,
"big, fat, brown dog."
Like Max's new roommate.
Not necessarily.
Max, Max, Max...
You are gonna get it!
That's kind
of hard to dispute.
Hey, you stay away
Wait, what?
You know Tiny Dog?
He's my friend!
And some might
say my boyfriend!
Uh, nobody says that.
I can't believe
you know Tiny Dog!
That's cool.
It's such a small world,
that's the funny
thing about it.
Get them!
Not good!
See you guys later!
Hang on!
Everybody, run!
Derick, you idiot!
Did they all get away?
Phew! That was
a close one!
Oh, nuts!
Yes! We got one!
Oh, good for you guys!
Oh, yes, Tiny Dog,
we got your friend!
Advantage, me!
Uh-oh. Just ignore what
just happened. Okay?
You know what?
This may be the
sausage talking,
but you're okay.
Right back
at you, man.
When I met you,
I was all like,
"I don't know
if I like him."
But now that
I know you, I'm like,
"I like him."
You know, I saw this
place from the outside
many times.
Had I known what treasures
awaited within these walls,
I would've
broke down that door
a long time ago,
I'll tell you!
What are you
talking about?
My old owner and I
used to live around here.
Duke, man, wait.
Did you used
to have an owner?
Well, it was
a long time ago.
I don't want
to talk about it.
Yes, you do.
Come on.
I don't know.
But you know what?
He was so cool.
He was the best.
Man, we had fun.
We'd play fetch.
We'd go for walks.
We'd take naps.
We were both big nappers.
I got out one night, chasing
a butterfly, or a car.
By the time I had caught
up with it and ate it...
Probably a butterfly,
...I realized I was so
far away from my home
I couldn't find it.
A few days later, I was
picked up by Animal Control.
I had
a great thing going.
But I had to go
and mess it up.
Duke, we gotta go
to your house.
Your owner's gonna
be relieved!
Will he?
Yeah, but...
But he never
came for me.
Maybe he...
Maybe he didn't like me.
Of course he liked you.
He was your owner.
I mean, he's probably
worried sick!
I don't know.
Well, I do know
and we're going!
Your owner's
gonna freak!
I'm freaking out
just thinking about it.
Let's do it!
There they are!
All right, doggy,
come on.
Hey, hey, hey!
Where do
you think you're going?
Come back here, you dogs!
That rabbit...
He had crazy eyes.
There ain't no curing what's
wrong with that thing!
here's an idea.
Maybe there's a dog in the
neighborhood that looks like Max.
Start hanging out with him.
After a while,
you'll think it's him
you'll be done.
We are not
just giving up!
We're dedicated.
We're loyal.
We're easily the
greatest pet ever.
We're dogs!
Well, congratulations!
Today you're dogs, whether
you like it or not!
Now let's find Max
before that rabbit does!
Break! We're dogs!
I don't like it.
Yep, they were here.
We're closing in!
This is groundbreaking
evil behavior, people.
A light bulb just
went off in my brain.
The bunny has an idea.
Okay, so, uh,
how do I look?
You look great.
How do I smell?
Like a dog, Duke.
Relax, man.
There it is.
Well, go on up.
Go scratch
at that door.
Remember that sausage factory?
That was fun, huh?
Are you stalling?
No. Why do you
think that?
Let's have a long talk about
why you think I'm stalling.
Duke, you have nothing
to be nervous about.
Your owner is going to
be thrilled to see you.
Huh. That car is new.
Can I help you?
No. We're good, thanks.
You're not good.
You look dirty.
And I'm gonna have to ask
you to get off my lawn
before I get, um,
what you have.
This is my lawn.
Duke, maybe
we should go.
And why would
Fred get a cat?
He hates cats.
That's one of the things
I love about him.
Fred? The old guy?
He, um...
He died.
Duke, maybe I made a mistake,
saying we should come here.
Let's go.
You're a liar!
Max, cats lie
all the time.
Don't fall for it!
Who are they?
Hey, this is my home.
Go away!
Duke, it's time
to go.
Duke, let's go!
Come on!
This isn't your home
Why did you
bring me here, Max?
Wait a minute.
This is my fault?
I was trying
to help you!
You were trying
to get rid of me!
You know what, Duke?
I don't need this.
I'll see you later.
Come on, settle down!
Go home, Max!
Hey, help me out, here!
Hold on!
I'm coming!
Let's go.
got you, big fella.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on.
This is it for you.
Koochi koochi koo!
Tiny Dog!
Ah, are you kidding me?
You thought
this was over, Tiny Dog?
Jab, jab, jab!
Body blow! Body blow!
Karate chop to your neck!
Would you get off me!
No, no, no.
Oh, TD.
This kills me to say,
but we gotta
join forces, man.
We make a great team,
Tiny Dog!
Well, mainly, I'm doing all the
hard work, but you're helping!
Yes, yes, fine.
Just keep your eyes on the road.
You're driving like an animal!
What was that?
Oh, that was a pothole.
You're hitting
things on purpose!
Heh. You know me
too well, TD!
Always keeping me
in check.
Do you see the van?
Yeah, I see it.
We're about to hit it.
Relax, Snowball,
I got you.
There he is!
He's got Snowball!
Look, fellas, this is
not what this looks like.
You were gonna
eat the boss!
No,no,no. Snowball and I
are on the same side now.
Tell them! Snowball,
tell them!
That raccoon is lying.
He's not the president.
Come on, now.
Come here, you.
Go, Max!
Right. Okay,
gotta go.
Thank you! Thank you!
Stay down!
Duke, hang on!
Max? Max!
Oh, get the keys! Right!
Come on, come on.
I got them!
Remember me!
I feel heroic!
And handsome.
I'm a little wet,
but I still look good.
I look good.
Are you...
Are you okay?
I'm good.
I'm good.
Thanks for coming
to save me, Max.
Oh, Max!
You need a lift?
Yes, we need a lift!
Let's go, Tattoo.
Hey, hey...
Uh, Gidget, wait up.
Oh, hi, Max.
Yeah. Hi. Um...
Play it cool.
Yeah, I...
I just wanted to...
Have you ever lived across
from someone your whole life,
but you don't really
appreciate them, until...
I don't know...
Until they're beating up dozens of
animals on the Brooklyn Bridge?
I guess what I'm
trying to say is...
If you ever wanna...
Oh, great.
You're in love.
How gross for everyone.
Now move it!
Good-bye! See you later!
Does anyone know
where we are?
Bye, Max.
Bye, Gidget.
Okay, bye-bye!
See you guys.
Man, I feel sorry
for them.
Gotta run home
to their owners.
Not us.
Now, it's back to
our primary mission.
The downfall of
the human race!
It is on, humans!
It is on!
Mommy! Can I have a bunny?
And a pig and a
crocodile and a lizard?
Yay, bunny!
Jab, jab, jab!
Body blow! Body blow! Break-away move.
What's going on?
What's she doing?
Bunny, I'm gonna love you
forever and ever and ever.
Aww. Bunny.
Here you go.
Duke, this is the
best part of the day.
Ooh! Is that her?
Nah, no. That's... Wait...
Yeah, that's her.
That's her.
There they are!
Max and Duke,
Duke and Max! Aw!
My boys!
So, how'd it go?
Great, right? I...
So, maybe a few bumps.
But I knew this
was gonna work out.
So, who's hungry?
Welcome home, Duke.
Thanks, Max.
Come on, man.
Hurry it up.
I'm coming,
I'm coming.
Welcome, my dogs.
Oh, you guys
look weird.
Hurry up, come on in.
You said it was
a costume party.
Why do you
listen to me?
I'm home, Leonard.
Were you
a good boy, Leonard?
All right, party's over.