The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) Movie Script

Yeah, I'm out that Brooklyn,
now I'm down in Tribeca
Right next to De Niro
But I'll be hood forever
- I'm the new Sinatra
-BOY: Yeah!
And since I made it here
I can make it anywhere
Yeah, they love me
- In New York
- Yes, hey
Concrete jungle
where dreams are made of
There's nothin'
you can't do, okay
Now you're in New York...
Ah, kids.
-Everybody loves them, right?
-You probably love kids.
-I got to admit...
-...I don't.
That's me, by the way.
I'm Max.
I'm the little dog
right there,
grateful I'm not being piled on
by a horde of children.
Wait for me!
Ugh. Can you believe that?
Having a kid looks like fun.
Nah, man, it ain't fun.
I'm telling you, once
the humans bring a kid home,
your life ain't the same.
Seen it a billion times.
It changes you.
I'm from the Empire State,
Now, I thought I never
had to worry about any of that,
but then one day...
Ow! owner Katie met Chuck.
Are you okay?
Oh. Uh, yeah.
A little while later,
they're married. -Hi, guys.
-Which-- it-it's great.
Chuck is really--
he's a good guy.
- But then...
-...something happened.
Katie and Chuck
had a kid of their own.
His name's Liam.
At first,
he slept all the time.
Dreaming about, you know,
whatever it is
that babies dream about.
Who's a cute little baby?
He had his place...
You little cutie pie.
...and I had mine.
Things seemed like
they were gonna be fine.
Until he started talking.
And eventually,
he started crawling.
-Sort of.
And suddenly, my own home
wasn't safe anymore.
Th-There was a tiny monster
taking it over.
Now, I did my best
to keep a safe distance.
But then, one day,
Liam did something
I never expected.
I love you, Max.
And from then on...
...everything was different.
Duke and I, we became
like role models to him.
Like, what can I say?
The-the kid's a fan.
My love blossomed tenderly
My life grew sweeter
through the years
I know that my baby
loves me...
We try to be a good influence.
And we help him out
whenever we can.
Our love just won't end...
This kid gets us.
Yeah, we have fun.
And by the way,
I'm still not a kid person.
I'm talking about this kid.
This is my kid.
He's perfect.
And I'm never gonna let
anything bad happen to him.
But I got to say, keeping Liam
safe is a full-time job.
No, no, no, no.
Wha...? Ooh.
All right.
Uh, hey. Uh, hello.
Everything's cool.
Uh, we don't...
we don't want any trouble.
You okay there, buddy?
Was the world always
this dangerous?
Good doggy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Morning, Snowball.
Who's the best bunny
in the whole wide world?
Take that, evildoer.
Off into the sun with you.
Ears up.
I'm calling this meeting
of the Superhero Animal Friends
to order.
Commander Horsey,
please read the minutes
from our last meeting.
Thank you.
Now, remember, everyone,
crime is out there.
We have to be ready.
Come on, Molly, time to go.
Ooh, I'm gonna be late
for school.
Captain Snowball, you're
in charge while I'm gone.
First of all, I want to welcome
White Thunder back
from the washing machine,
who was put in there
with a red blanket
and henceforth
will be known as...
Pink Thunder.
Okay, I'm-a go check
the perimeter.
Good morning, New York City!
Hey, Snowball,
what are you doing?
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm looking for crime,
Tiny Dog.
I'm doing superhero stuff.
Thwip, thwip, thwip,
thwip, thwip.
Let me tell you something.
Anybody comes in here
looking for trouble,
oh, they gonna meet
my partners.
I'm talking about
Paw and Order.
Okay, well, you do know
that your owner is just
playing superhero, right?
You're just wearing
some superhero pajamas.
Ha! Tiny Dog, you so naive.
Point me in the direction
of any animal
who needs my help,
and stand back.
Death blow!
Okay, okay, uh, I got it.
So, uh, did your kid leave
for school yet?
Yeah, yeah, no,
she's got a quiz today.
Advanced spelling.
She'll ace it, though.
You know, she writes
her answers down in ink.
That's how confident she is.
That sounds really smart.
But you know what?
Liam is smart, too.
In fact, I heard Katie say
that Liam's head circumference
is in the 80th percentile.
Oh, that's cool.
That's a lot of head.
Hey, quick question:
Is he still peeing everywhere?
Can't control his bladder?
Yeah, he-he's... he's peeing.
But-but every pet knows,
if you pee on it, you own it.
And Liam,
he's just thinking ahead.
Yeah, well, you still better
train him
before preschool starts.
You don't want Liam
to get a reputation
as one of those pee-pee kids.
Yeah, totally, like--
Wait, preschool?
Yeah. He's around that age.
The baby bird
is leaving the nest, TD.
No, no.
Baby bird is staying put.
He doesn't need preschool.
He'll, you know...
stay home with-with me,
where it's safe.
Hey, Max.
It's, uh, no big deal--
no need to overreact--
but, uh, Liam just left.
-Wait, what? Where'd he go?
-I don't know.
They never tell the dog
Okay, okay, okay.
This is Homebase to all units.
The package has
left the building.
Does anyone have eyes on him?
I don't see him. Over.
Well, he's not in
this bag of chips. Over.
Okay. Keep-- Wait a minute.
Why would he be
in a bag of chips?
Homebase, this is Eagle Eye.
Don't you worry.
I had eyes on the package
as soon as he left
the building. Over.
Subject is safe and sound,
enjoying what looks to be
a cookie shaped like a moose.
Here you go. Num-num.
No, wait.
It's a reindeer.
Okay. Thanks, Norman.
Scratching again there, buddy.
I just--
I really don't like it
when they take him out
without me.
Hey, Duke.
What's this?
Oh, I know this!
It's a ball.
Go get it.
Hey, Maxie.
What say we go for a walk?
You know, I got to say,
this is nice.
- Good to stretch the... legs.
- No!
-I don't want to go
to the vet! -Hmm. Uh...
The vet? No!
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, not cool. You tricked me.
Maxie, come on, boy.
You've been so stressed lately,
but this vet is gonna help you.
Let's go, buddy.
All right.
-First time here?
-Uh, yeah.
Oh, Dr. Francis is the best
veterinarian in the business.
You're gonna love him.
He specializes
in behavioral disorders.
-B-Behavioral disorders?
But I don't have
a behavioral disorder.
I-I-I mean... I-I mean,
I worry a little, sure,
but it-it's a...
it's a dangerous world.
You-you'd be crazy
not to... to worry.
Yeah, I'm fine, too.
It's my human that's nuts.
I mean, you know, I-I bring her
a dead bird, she throws it out.
I bring her a dead mouse,
right in the garbage!
Is nothing I do good enough
for you, Mother?!
I run, and I run,
and I run, and I run,
and I get out,
and I've gone nowhere.
My owner always says,
"You're such a good dog,"
and I feel like a good dog,
but what if, deep down,
I'm a bad dog?
What if I'm a bad dog?!
We start fires.
Come on.
I know, buddy.
It's just until we can get
this scratching thing
under control, okay?
Busy Bee!
Max! Max!
Max. Max.
You're never gonna believe it.
Oh, hey, I like your cone.
Listen, I heard Chuck tell Liam
that we're going on a trip.
We're going in the car?
We're going in the car!
Car, car, car, car, car, car!
Man, you know, life is funny.
One minute, you're getting
fitted for a cone,
and the next,
you get to go in a car!
Oh, I feel like that's very
specific to you, but totally.
- Yeah.
- This is incredible!
I'll be right back.
Chloe, I'm going on a trip,
and I-- Oh.
I was wondering if you'd...
Will you watch my Busy Bee
while I'm gone...?
Oh, hey, Max.
Were you saying something?
I was wondering if you could...
Oh... Okay.
Never mind.
What's that stupid thing
on your head?
Gidget, are you home?
Mm. Oh, hi, Max.
Do you want to join me?
Oh, you know what,
I really wish I could,
but get this--
I'm going on a trip.
Wow. Really?
Yeah, it's a big deal.
I was wondering,
could you watch my Busy Bee
while I'm gone?
He is so cute.
I know. It's my favorite toy
in the whole world.
And that little face.
His little face.
Oh, and-and ready?
Oh, wow. I love him.
Oh, I just...
I just love him immediately.
It's-it's like
we're his parents.
It's like you're the dad
and I'm the mom
and we're in a relationship and
this is our baby.
It's exactly like that.
It's not... Okay, yes.
Yes, that's exactly what it is.
Uh, so you'll watch Busy Bee
while I'm gone?
Max, you go, have a great time,
and I want you to know
I have got this.
Thanks, Gidget.
See you later.
I will defend Busy Bee
with my life.
Well, I'm on my way
I don't know
where I'm going
I'm on my way...
- Come on, Duke! Go!
- Okay.
Yes, yes, yes.
How we doing, Liam?
-"Whoo-hoo" is right.
Seein' me and Julio
down by the schoolyard
Seein' me and Julio
down by the schoolyard...
-Here we go!
-Oh, wow!
Hey, man.
-I'm in a car!
-Us, too!
I love the car!
- It's the best!
- Yes!
Well, I'm on my way
I don't know
where I'm going
I'm on my way
And I'm taking my time,
but I don't know where
- Whee!
- So good-bye to Rosie
The queen of Corona
Seein' me and Julio
down by the schoolyard
-Okay, come on, guys.
-All right.
-Let's be quick.
-Here we go.
Seein' me and Julio
down by the schoolyard.
No. No, no, no.
-This way, buddy. Come on.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
Gidget, what have you done?
La Pasin de la Pasin.
Why? Why?!
Oh, dear, sweet Busy Bee.
You know, I'm-a be the first
bunny with washboard glutes.
I'm not even sure
what glutes are, but...
mine are gonna be shredded.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's, uh...
that's fascinating.
Let me tell you something.
Criminals are gonna take
one good look at my glutes...
and they just gonna give up.
Okay, this is obviously
glued to the floor.
Excuse me, rabbit, cat.
Do any of you know
Captain Snowball?
Yeah, uh, ye-yes.
-Yes, we do.
-And here we go.
Oh, good.
My name is Daisy, and I really
got to talk to him.
A poor, defenseless animal
needs saving.
Wha...? Are you saying...?
Yes. I need Captain Snowball
for a...
top secret rescue.
All right, well, I got to go.
But nice meeting you, uh...
What was it again?
Okay, you don't listen.
-It's Daisy.
-Whatever. Okay, I...
I got to get the dude to get
the stuff to do the things.
I got to... Bye-bye.
That was weird.
Oh, sister,
it's gonna get way weirder.
It's Snow time, baby.
Anybody hungry?
Oh, Snowball.
Uh, is he okay?
Not in any way. No.
Hello, citizens.
Who is that?
I'm Captain Snowball.
I hear one of you
needs my help.
Ooh, that's me.
Ah, very good.
New dog, tell me your story.
Well, it all began
when I was on my way back
from vacation.
Our humans were safely stowed
in the overhead compartment,
and we were going through
our owners' stuff.
Humans always
blame the airline.
What do you got?
I'll trade you two socks
for a pair of workout shorts.
Are they clean or dirty?
They ain't clean.
Nope. They nasty.
And then I heard a noise.
Now, I don't speak
wild animal...
- ...but from what I gathered,
he was a scared,
adorable tiger cub named Hu.
This poor baby kitty was
being held against his will.
-That is unbelievable.
-I know, right?
No, I mean I literally
don't believe a word of it.
No offense.
Or do take offense.
I'm good either way.
Um, pardon me.
Offense is very much taken.
That story happened,
and it gets worse.
After the plane landed,
I saw Hu again.
--Use your no-good
clown muscles and push!
He was being brought
to his new owner.
-And this guy...
-Time is rubles!
Y'all, this guy was pure,
concentrated circus evil.
That tiger needs
Captain Snowball.
-Daisy, let's go.
Let's free that tiger.
-Or die trying.
-Well, I mean...
-I mean, we might.
-Probably you.
You're wearing a bright suit.
Everyone's gonna notice you.
I'll be fine.
Hey, guys, we're here.
Hey there.
There's Uncle Shep.
Welcome to the farm.
Where's my little man?
Oh, wow!
Look at this place.
Yeah, it's...
Oh, so many smells
I have never smelled before.
My nose is so confused.
And happy!
Come on, Max.
Let's go explore.
-Uh, wait up.
Hey, cow. Moo.
You're a cow.
You're supposed to moo.
Woof, woof.
Oh, I'm a dog.
I'm wagging my tail
like an idiot.
Oh, okay. Dude, not cool.
Oh, are you gonna throw a ball?
Oh, please throw a ball.
And I will chase it
because my brain
is the size of a rat turd.
Okay. Yeah, I get it.
You made your point.
-Yeah, yeah. -Oh, look.
I'm peeing on a tree.
-I now own this tree.
-Okay. Yeah, great.
-Leaving now. All right.
-I guess I'll just stare
at the door
until you come back!
Oh, I miss New York.
Maybe a break from
the city is just what you need.
This place is...
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
Duke, what did I do?
What did I do?
Dinner's on!
Chloe? I need your help.
Oh. Uh... oh.
Uh, Chloe?
-Chloe, are you okay?
Sorry. Uh, I'm-I'm just...
Real quick-- why is there
a lampshade on your head?
Listen, Gidget, baby,
I got to be honest with you.
My owner might have given me
a little bit of catnip.
Oh, okay. Gotcha.
That's great. Um, listen.
It is great, Gidget.
Everything is great...
All right.
- Do you hear that?
- Hear what?
It's like... it's like
a tiny... like a tiny motor.
It's like a humming sound.
I'm not... don't know
what you're ta...
Oh. Chloe, you're purring.
That's you.
What? That's me?
Like, as in the sound
is coming from inside of me?
I wonder what other sounds
I could make.
It-it's just, Max trusted me
to look after his Busy Bee,
and then...
Chloe, would you listen?
Wow. Please stop.
Are you finished?
This is important.
I lost Busy Bee.
I got to get it back,
but to do that...
I need you to teach me
the way of the cat.
Here we go.
I'm gonna get you.
Max, come on.
Try to catch a firefly.
I'm just...
That sounds great,
but I-I think Liam
wants me near him.
You-you know,
he's a little freaked out
being in this weird place.
I think he'll be okay.
And this one is a jumper.
Just one.
Yes, I...
Oh. Hello.
Dog's got two things
in this life:
his water bowl and his dignity.
You take one,
you take the other.
I, uh... I-I didn't know
this was your bowl.
The cone blocking your view?
It's got my name on the side.
We are so sorry, Mr. Chicken.
Name's not Chicken.
Do I look like
a chicken to you?
-No. No, sir.
-No, not-not even a little.
- Name's Rooster.
- Oh.
I-I'm Max, and this is...
Hey, what's that kid doing
in the cage?
There something wrong with him?
He got the fever?
Uh, that's-that's Liam.
He-he likes to run.
So let him run.
Well, Liam's super fast.
We-we-we blink,
and he's up a tree.
So then your kid's up a tree.
What's the problem?
Well, he could fall.
-He might.
-And then he hurts himself.
Oh, so he got really high up
in this hypothetical tree?
Kid gets hurt,
he learns not to do it again.
You know how many
electric cords I've chewed?
Like, multiple cords?
It shocked me.
I walked backwards for a week,
but I never
chewed a cord again.
Well, that is great for you.
And-and it explains a lot,
but I like to protect Liam
from... everything.
Well, that's you,
and you're wrong.
Can you believe that guy?
Yeah, he was cool!
No, he wasn't.
I know.
He wasn't cool at all.
No, I'll do the dishes.
Come on.
Let's get this guy inside.
Whoa. Hold up there.
Dogs sleep outside.
-Uh, pardon?
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, wait, wait.
L-L-Let's talk about this
like rational...
All right, we're here.
In record time, too,
thanks to the Bunnymobile.
Oh, yeah!
Stealth mode.
Let's go!
You are jumpy.
I meant...
That's cool.
Look at that thing
I'm not scared of right there.
Or... There's a
candy wrapper on the ground.
See? It's just a thing I do.
Come on,
you stupid tiger!
There he is.
Let's go.
We don't have entire night.
Let's go!
You're wasting Sergei's time.
We got to do something.
-Okay, all right, all right.
-Whoa, whoa.
Come on.
We try again tomorrow.
If tiger does not do trick...
tiger will become rug.
Do not let tiger
out of your sight.
It's okay, Hu.
It's me, Daisy, from the plane.
Step away from the tiger.
Mind your business, wolf.
Oh, gonna die,
gonna die, gonna die!
I got the keys. Let's go.
I said, "I got the keys."
Come on, let's go.
Uh, all right.
Yeah, of course.
Heck yeah!
You know what I learned today?
-Wolves are jerks.
Psst. Duke.
I think we should
check on Liam.
-I finally caught you, tail.
Huh? What's that?
Okay. Okay.
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, please,
you don't want to eat me.
I'm skin and bones. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no...
Uh... Thanks.
He, uh...
he got the jump on me.
I guess he...
I couldn't see him
because of the cone.
-Then get rid of the cone.
-Oh, man, I would.
I would, but
my therapist says I need it.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Well, that makes sense.
Yeah, it's a medical device.
These doctors.
You're cured.
Not a fan.
I am not a fan of the farm.
Okay, tail.
-And voil.
Gidget, you look so much
like a cat, it's crazy.
Yeah. Who knew?
-So easy.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
It's gonna take more
than fake ears
and a sock, okay?
You got to learn
how to act like a cat.
-Okay, Gidge, I'm gonna throw
some situations at you, and
you're just gonna, you know...
-you're gonna react like a cat.
-I'm gonna get it!
Gidget, stay.
Cats don't care about fetching.
Fetching is for dopes.
You're above that,
because you are a cat.
You see, dogs land
like the clumsy oafs they are.
Meanwhile, cats land
on their feet.
- Really?
- How do they...
Yes! I did it!
I landed on my feet.
- Yes!
- Nice work.
Seriously, guys,
I think I broke something.
You gotta.
It's a fact of life.
Absolutely not.
Never gonna happen.
Guys, I found treats!
Oh, Mel. Ugh.
Okay, Gidget, eat Sweetpea.
Cats eat birds.
It's nature.
-Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
-No, no, no, no.
You used your one pass
on the litter box,
so you have to do this.
- But...
- B-B-B-But... Do it.
You're seriously gonna
make her eat Sweetpea?
Oh, no, no, no. Of course not.
I'm just freaking her out.
Okay. What's next?
Gidget, no. That's...
Bad dog. Bad cat-dog.
And tail in the face.
Okay, touch the butt
to the cup.
Walk on keyboard.
There you go.
Coffee on computer.
And down.
Yes, you got it.
Gidget, you're as close
to a cat as a dog can get.
Now turn me into a chinchilla.
Can you do that?
Oh, yeah.
First mission in the bag.
It was easy.
Too easy? Maybe.
Maybe it was.
Come along and ride
on a fantastic voyage...
Hey, big fella.
What'd I do?
Oh, I just rescued a tiger.
No, I'm not even
trying to brag.
I'm just telling you
what happened.
See, that's the thing
about being awesome.
When you awesome
and you just tell the truth,
it sounds like you bragging.
Let me know when you finish
tooting your horn,
'cause we got to find
a safe place for Hu.
Uh, what?
What are you talking about?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that guy. Yeah.
Uh... yeah.
Oh! I got it.
I know a guy whose owner
is never home.
Yeah, we can just
take him there.
Sounds like a plan.
Superbunny powers, activate.
Wait out here, buddy.
We'll be right back, okay?
I'm a puppy cute and sweet
Beg real nice
and get a treat.
Hip, hip, hip,
hip, hip, hip.
- Hey, Pops.
- Who-who's that?
Bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny!
Oh, uh...
I am a hero.
I need you to respect that.
All right, all right.
Puppy school is in session.
Puppy school?
Now the daily pledge.
- I promise...
- I promise... listen to Pops... listen to Pops...
...and learn
how to be adorable,
wide-eyed and loving...
...and learn how to be
adorable, wide-eyed
and loving... get what I want,
when I want it. get what I want,
when I want it.
Okay, now, Pop's quiz.
Myron has hidden socks
all over the room.
Now, what do we do
with human socks?
Ooh, me, me.
Go ahead, Princess.
We hide them, Mr. Pops.
And why do we hide them?
Not knowing where one sock is
messes with the humans' minds.
Heck yes, it does.
Always keep 'em guessing.
Now, go find those socks.
What? Okay, all right.
Okay. Hey, Pops.
What...? Okay, that's enough.
Hey. What's going on?
Yeah. My owner got a new puppy.
My name's Tiny.
Nobody cares!
I was teaching Tiny
how not to be anyone's sucker.
Word got out,
suddenly every puppy
in the tristate area
is scratching at my door.
Yeah. Oh.
Professor Pops?
Yes, Pickles?
I got to make a poop.
Oh. You know where to do that.
Find a shoe.
This is so sweet.
Yeah, they're good...
Holy cheese and crackers!
What is that?
Myron, horn!
No, no, no.
No, no, look, look. It's okay.
This beautiful creature is Hu.
And the good news...
is he's staying with you.
Get that tiger out of here
before he does any more damage.
But we don't have
anywhere else to take him.
- Well, he ain't staying here.
- Kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty!
No, what are you...
Don't get attached.
That thing is out.
Oh, Pickles.
Did you poop in a shoe?
I pooped in a boot.
Your owner won't find it
for weeks.
Are you crying?
What? No. You're crying!
But I'm just
so proud of Pickles.
Mr. Pops,
please, can the tiger
stay with us?
Myron, look away.
Oh, flap-doodle.
Okay, fine. One night.
I taught you guys too well.
I give wolves one job.
Guard white tiger.
And you wolves, you blow it.
Maybe I should make
juggling monkey
head of security.
What say you, Little Sergei?
Yes, you are so smart.
And then there's this one.
You're the worst wolf ever.
I swear, I...
What this?
This from thief of tiger.
Yes, smell.
You bring that tiger back.
And if you don't, that one...
...will be a new coat
for Little Sergei.
Oh, this is good.
You should really try this. Mm!
- So nice.
- So fresh.
Book, book, book.
We're turning it again.
Um, I'm sorry, Liam.
We can't read.
Well, wait a sec.
There's no reason
we can't figure this one out
together, right?
This first page,
there's a little girl
in a red hood,
skipping through
the forest with...
with some food.
Look at that-- she's got food.
Om, nom, nom.
And look at that--
she brought the food over to...
Hmm. Say, who is that?
Oh! Looks like her grandma.
Oh, I'll bet you're right.
Oh, that is sweet. She...
So, Grandma had a pet wolf.
They had a great visit.
The little girl went home.
No one got eaten.
The end.
No, no, no, no.
That's not how the story goes.
We got this, thanks.
That wolf was gonna eat
the little girl.
Nope! Thank you, Rooster.
He already ate Grandma.
And then he assumed
the old lady's identity.
Wha...? Hey.
Don't freak out my kid.
Take that, Mr. Wolfy.
Kid seems fine to me.
You're the one
who's scared of everything.
I am not. I'm-I'm...
Tell him, Duke.
Yeah, yeah.
Max isn't scared of everything.
I-I... I can think of, um...
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, well, there's a few...
-there's a few things.
-Okay, thanks.
You bet.
Okay, this is it.
-You good to go?
-Roger that.
That's a good kitty.
Maria, your face,
it wears a thousand sorrows.
Busy Bee.
Oh, boy.
Okay, come on, Gidget.
Norman, now!
You got it, sister.
Busy Bee!
Whoa. Okay.
Uh, time for plan B.
Engaging plan B.
She caught the red dot.
She is the Chosen One.
All hail the queen.
Hail the queen!
All hail Queen Gidget.
Get in! Faster!
Max, did you see that?
-Uh, yeah.
-So cool.
Oh, it's not that big a deal.
Move. Hyah!
Move it!
Oh, man.
Hey, look.
That big guy got out.
We better get Rooster.
No. No, no, no need for that.
I can handle it.
Hey, mister.
Ba-Back inside.
-Come on.
You're doing great.
Go underneath him.
Let's go.
I think he moved a little.
Don't you...
don't you ignore me.
Ah, come on.
Yep, uh-huh.
Now go and do the front.
No, no, back.
Now go to the side.
Uh, Max, Rooster nips at
the cows to get 'em to move.
That sounds drastic, but...
okay, pig, you asked for this.
-Hey, Max. You okay?
What's going on?
Don't worry, I'm-I'm fine.
You let all the sheep out.
-I did?
Get back in there!
Come on.
Wait a minute. Where's Cotton?
Oh, he went into the woods.
Come with me.
Wh-Where are we going?
We're gonna go get Cotton back.
Oh. Great.
-Come on, Duke.
-Duke, sit.
This is just you and me.
Oh, boy.
Come on.
Cotton, where are you?
Come on.
Hurry up!
Just jump.
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow!
Scent's getting stronger.
Cotton's close.
Oh, boy.
I can do this.
I got it, I got it.
Rooster, you-you know what?
Just... just go on without me.
-Oh, you're not giving up.
-Yeah, but...
Follow me.
- Cotton, what are you doing
down there? -
There's apples in this tree.
All right, just don't panic.
Oh, man.
Max is coming down to save you.
Wait, what?
That tree can't support
my weight.
You get down there.
I-I-I can't do that.
Sure, you can.
Think of this as a... as a...
as a game of fetch.
Now, go fetch the sheep.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
It-it's too high,
and-and I'm-I'm...
I'm too afraid.
Max, here's a trick.
The first step
of not being afraid
is acting like
you're not afraid.
So, are you scared?
Are you scared?
No! No, I'm not.
Now you're talking.
Go get Cotton.
Okay, okay.
Listen, uh, Cotton,
walk toward me, okay?
Okay, sure.
But my leg is stuck.
His leg is stuck.
Well, unstuck it.
- Hold on.
- Whee!
Okay, Cotton, listen,
we got to...
Hurry up!
Ow! Whoa!
Come on.
We're... we're alive.
Yeah, we... Oh, no!
Oof. Yeah, we are.
Get back in your pen, Cotton.
-No. Other way, Cotton.
So, how did it go?
What-what happened?
You-you know, it was...
it was pretty intense.
Tell him, Rooster.
You know, some stuff happened.
Now it's over.
He can really tell a story.
We are getting closer.
So there I was,
surrounded by nasty wolves.
You asking, was I scared?
No one asked anything.
You just walked up to us
and started talking.
I was scared.
But I saved that tiger anyway.
Am I a hero?
That's not for me to say.
- Boo-Boo, are you listening?
- I am.
Stop digging for a second,
and maybe you'll learn
As I was saying...
Wo-Wo... W-W-Wolf.
Duh. That's what I've been
talking about-- wolves.
Where is the tiger?
Oh. There he is!
So long, suckers!
Ha! Take that!
Now, this is training.
Keeping my reflexes sharp.
Ha! Flawless victory.
You were just beaten
by a rabbit.
You don't even know it.
Ooh, my pizza rolls.
What's that?
Oh, hello, Snowball.
Hey, Pops.
What's, uh...
what's-what's going on?
Oh, you know, just returning
your giant tiger.
Oh, uh, fun fact:
He trashed my apartment!
This thing ate a flat-screen
like it was a pita chip.
For shame!
Oh, now you've done it.
Pickles is pissed.
Uh... are you sure
that's my tiger?
'Cause I don't...
I don't know if that's...
Let's go, class.
Ah, come on, old man,
don't do this.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
How you been?
I'm-a go get back
to my pizza rolls,
and I'll come back and check
on you in a bit, okay?
Problem solved.
Puffy Dog?
What are you doing
in Max's apartment?
Why are you hanging out
with every cat in the universe?
Oh, you know, just because.
Mm, okay.
Uh, hey, Rooster.
Hey, kid. Good job today.
Yeah? Well, I-I got to admit,
I feel pretty good.
I'm not so nervous
around the farm or you or...
the turkey who won't stop
following me!
Yeah, I see you, you weirdo.
Anyway, I heard Katie say
we're leaving tomorrow, and...
Oh. Uh...
You want me to, uh...
you want me to go?
No. Just what we do out here.
You want to join me?
Uh, yeah. Okay. Cool.
You ready to try?
Come on, kid. Deeper.
Deep from your gut.
Right. O-Okay, got it.
There you go.
All right, come on, guys.
All right.
-Huh? What do you think?
-Max, so cool.
Hey, where-where'd Max go?
And who let this
super cool cowboy in the car?
Bye, Uncle Shep.
Good-bye, now. So long.
Bye, Rooster!
And thank you!
Mind your business, turkey.
I'm having a moment.
Okay, moment's over.
There we go, buddy.
Good to be home.
So good.
-You shh.
Huh? Snowball?
Oh, hey, what, uh...
Hey, Tiny Dog.
What are you doing with a tiger
in my apartment?
Well, what are you doing home
from your trip so soon, hmm?
I mean, as long as
we pointing fingers.
Hey, hey, hey.
We don't have time for this.
We are trying to hide Hu before
the circus wolves get here.
Circus wolves?
You do know I have a life when
you're not around, right, TD?
- Yeah, okay, but...
- Captain Snowball.
-They're here.
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, they gonna kill us, Hu.
Oh, this is bad.
Well, at least we die together.
Keep it together, boy.
Okay. Okay.
We need a plan. Daisy?
Let's hide Hu on the roof.
Tiny Dog, where are you going?
Yeah, I'm-I'm not sure,
but I guess I'm gonna...
gonna try and find
my inner Rooster.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Puny little coward.
Hurry up, Hu.
All right, let's hide him
in the...
Oh. Oh, it's just
this weird little guy.
Why don't you just go back
to wherever you belong, Bonzo,
because I don't want to... Ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow!
Run, Hu.
Oh, pretty little dog,
I like you.
You will join my circus
as a cannonball.
Mongrel doesn't learn.
Stupid tiger!
Pathetic. Let's go!
We have a train to catch.
Daisy! Hu!
They are in a truck.
What are we gonna do, TD?
This is Captain Snowball.
Me and Tiny Dog need backup.
We read you loud and clear.
We are headed to the circus.
This is urgent. Over.
Copy that.
- Busy Bee, Mommy's got to
go save Daddy. -
Cats, let's do this!
Rumor spreadin' round
In that Texas town
About that shack
outside La Grange
Are my babies hungry?
And you know
what I'm talkin' about
Oh, dear.
Have mercy
A-how, how, how, how
A-heh, a-how, how, how.
Buckle up, everyone.
Hang on, Max.
We're coming.
Floor it!
Hurry up, you clowns!
Let's go, let's go!
Sergei have new toy.
Training is going to be
a lot more fun.
All right, let's get this show
on the tracks.
Come on, jump!
Guys, what's your location?
They're on a train
headed northbound.
-Roger that, Norman.
We're on it.
Go right here.
You hang back, TD.
Captain Snowball
is on the ca...
I'm fine.
Yeah, can, uh... can you, uh,
find a way to get back
up here, or is there...?
What the...?
Tiny Dog.
What was that? Hello?
Oh, thank goodness.
Get me out of here.
I'm stuck.
Okay, okay, look... Huh?
Body blow.
This ends now, monkey.
You still there, monkey? Huh?
Oh, no! He's here! He's here!
And on fire!
Hey! Get me out of here!
Snowball, the fuse!
I got it. I got it.
Say good-bye, monkey!
All right, doggy.
Bring it.
Tiny Dog!
Get away! Get off me!
Go away!
My God!
Come on.
You are going nowhere.
I've had enough.
This ends here and now.
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh...
Hi, Max.
Uh, that was a bad guy, right?
Okay, all right, all right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right.
Whoo-hoo! -Yeah!
-We did it!
- Awesome! -Yay!
- This is so good!
I can feel the sun shining
I can see the stars
Okay, so things
got back to normal.
I can feel my heart
I mean, mostly.
You know what they say:
When life closes a door,
it opens a cat lady's window.
That's a good kitty.
Because everything changes.
Good morning, Snowball.
Nothing stays
the same for long.
The minute
you're used to something,
the minute you think,
"Oh, this is how life is,"
-life finds a way
of surprising you. -Aw.
Hey, man, what is going on?
What? This is...
awesome! Wow!
Come on, buddy.
- This is gonna be fun.
- Whoo-hoo!
You never know what life
is gonna throw at you.
And you have two choices:
run from it...
...or run at it.
- The sun keep blinding me
- Whoo
I don't know what
you've been told...
It's a big day.
And from this point on,
nothing is gonna be the same.
- Just keep that smile
upon your face -Hi.
But I'm gonna be brave.
'Cause everything's
gonna be okay...
And I'm gonna help Liam
be brave.
Because he's my kid,
and I want him
to see the world.
The big, scary,
incredible world.
Okay, there's your cubby.
Right over there.
Are you okay?
I'm good.
It's gonna be
a lovely day...
My doggies.
Bye-bye, Mama and Dada.
Just keep that smile
upon your face
'Cause everything's
gonna be okay
Just sing along with it
Oh, I know somebody love me
Someone be trying to hug me
Road is getting bumpy
Hey, but it's gonna be
a lovely day
Oh, yeah,
I know you feeling lonely
Someone be trying
to hold me
You can't be acting grumpy
It's gonna be a lovely day
Oh, I know somebody love me
Someone be trying to hug me
Road is getting bumpy
Hey, but it's gonna be
a lovely day
Oh, yeah,
I know you feeling lonely
Someone be trying
to hold me
You can't be acting grumpy
It's gonna be a lovely day
Hey, l-l-l-l-lovely
Oh, it's gonna be
a lovely day
Oh, l-l-l-l-lovely
- L-L-L-L-Lovely
- L-L-L-L-Lovely
Ooh, it's gonna be
a lovely day.
Bye, Snowball.
Bye, Mr. Bear.
Panda, panda, panda, panda
Panda, listen, hey
Panda, panda, panda, panda
I got broads in Atlanta
Twisting rope,
drinking Fanta
Credit cards
and the scammers
Hittin' off licks
in the bando
Black X6, Phantom
Wait and see,
looking like a panda
Panda, panda, panda, panda
Hundred scammers,
Black X6, Phantom
Wait and see, Panda
Pockets swole, Danny
Selling bar, candy
Man, I'm the macho
like Randy...
Snowball, I'm back.
Panda, panda, panda,
panda, panda.
Okay, moment's over.