The Secret of My Succe$s (1987) Movie Script

New York City.
He wants to see
what's there.
I can tell him
what's there.
I don't know how when
you've never been.
Think of it, 'ey
The world's in
the palm of my hand
Run a comb through my hair
Headin' out for
some new foreign land
And all this could seem
like a dream out the door
With everyday people
face down on the floor
I always said I could
make it and be who I am
There's a new look in sight
What a change for
the new modern man
Well, Toto, I guess we're
not in Kansas anymore.
I just can't figure out why
he'd want to go off to New York
when we got
everything here.
Somethin' I have
to do, Dad.
Did you pack an
iron like I told you to?
You're gonna walk around wrinkled in
New York if you don't take an iron.
Elmer Whitfield's cousin Carlton
went off to New York a normal boy.
Came back with
his head shaved
and an earring
stuck in his cheek.
With all this it seems
like I'm dyin' for more
The streets are on fire
Never seen it before
It's like the sound
of electric guitars
Worlds collide and
hearts will be broken
Over and over
it's the same every day
How can I say what
has never concerned me
The secret of my success
ls I'm livin'
Twenty-five hours a day
Mom, there's a whole
world out there.
I mean,
big, exciting.
I got a nice, small
apartment lined up.
I got a great job.
I wanna make
lots of money.
I want to have a
meaningful experience
with an incredibly
beautiful woman.
I can't even take a woman like
that to a small apartment.
I gotta get a penthouse.
A penthouse?
With a Jacuzzi in it.
Doin' this for you
as much for me, Mom.
All those years
of college,
they're gonna
start payin' off.
Ooh, ooh, yeah
Worlds collide and
hearts will be broken
Over and over
it's the same every day
How can I say what
has never concerned me
The secret of my
success is I'm livin'
Twenty-five hours a day
It's amazing to me
What a fool will
believe to get by
With a change
of your mind,
I can live, I can fly
The harder they come
the harder they fall
I never say maybe
and I go for it all
Just like the sound
of electric guitars
All right, listen up.
If there are any bugs
in here or rats or anything
that has more legs
than I do,
you just stay on your
side of the room, okay?
I'll stay on mine.
I should warn you.
I'm packing an iron.
You weren't listening.
Twenty-five hours a day
The secret of
my success is I'm livin'
Twenty-five hours a day
Darling, please pack
it as fast as you can.
Mr. Forbush?
Not me!
He's two doors down
the hall on your right.
Into the shredder
as fast as possible.
Mr. Forbush.
Hi, I'm Brantley Foster
from Kansas.
You hired me.
I start work here today.
You're fired, kid.
We all saw it coming, but we
looked for some kind of miracle.
Miracle never happened.
What did happen?
Hostile takeover.
Ninety percent of the people in this
building are out on the street.
You are one of those 90%.
Tough break.
Mr. Forbush, I was counting on this job.
I mean, what do I do now?
Okay, New York, if this is
the way you want it, okay.
I'm sorry, Mister... Foster.
I'm sorry, Mr. Foster. We
need someone with experience.
But how can I get
any experience
until I get a job that
gives me experience?
If we gave you a job just
to give you experience,
you'd take that experience
and get a better job.
Then that experience
would benefit someone else.
Yeah. But I was trained in college
to handle a job like this.
So in a sense,
I already have experience.
What you've got is
college experience,
not the practical, hard-nosed business
experience we're locking for.
If you'd joined our training
program out of high school,
you'd be qualified
for this job now.
Then Why'd I go to college?
Had fun, didn't you?
What impresses me most
is the amount of
experience you picked up
while still attending college.
Well, ma'am, I knew all
those years of college
would be worthless without practical,
hard-nosed business experience.
"Assistant personnel manager,
J. Hall Communications.
"Junior purchasing agent,
Midland Furniture.
"Vice President in Charge of
Production, Central Manufacturing."
You're not gonna tell me I have
too much experience, are ya?
Certainly not,
you're perfect for the job.
No. No exceptions.
I want this job.
I need it. I can do it.
Everywhere I've been today there's
always been something wrong.
Too young, too old,
too short, too tall.
Whatever the exception is,
I can fix it.
I can be older. I can be taller.
I can be anything.
Can you be
a minority woman?
Mom, I'm doin' great.
Is it dirty there?
Are the people rude?
No, this town is terrific.
The people are really nice.
That's good, dear.
What about your job?
Job? Hey!
I got a fantastic office, got a
gorgeous secretary. The works.
Brantley, we don't
care if she's gorgeous.
Is she any good?
You heard me.
Can she type?
Ma, of course
she can type.
Some can't, you know.
Now, is it safe there?
You haven't been robbed
or anything, have you?
Ma, will you quit worryin'?
There is no danger.
But New York is...
New York is just
like Kansas intensified.
Policia! Policia!
What? What's that noise?
ls something the matter?
Oh, no, Mom,
that's just the TV.
It sounds so real.
It's Miami Vice.
Well, can you turn the sound down?
It's too loud.
Uh, Ma, it's broken.
The knob came off in my hand.
Goodness. Well, what about Uncle Howard?
Did you call him?
Uncle Howard! Uh,yeah,
the phone number.
Well, you still have the
number, don't you, Brantley?
Oh, yeah.
I still got it right here.
Are you all right?
You seem distracted?
Yeah. Well, they just
totaled a Ferrari.
But Uncle Howard?
Did you call him?
No, I haven't had a chance
to call Uncle Howard yet.
Will you try to see him?
I'll probably bump into him
at the country club.
Get the TV fixed, dear.
Yeah. Listen, I gotta go.
Okay, Mom?
Give Dad my love.
I will, dear.
I love you, Brantley.
I love you too, Mom.
Bye-bye. Bye!
They got 'em.
The light is in my eyes
How can I see through
What do I hold on to
Well, at least let me
buy you an airline ticket.
Dad, I'm gonna
do this on my own.
But you did make it
a round-trip ticket?
Yeah. I'm not
gonna need it.
No, when I come
back to Kansas,
I'm comin' back
in my own jet.
It seems like
the world is upside down
Don't know where I'm goin' to
But you know
I'd turn it all around
It's just something
I've got to do
Take this. It's Uncle Howard's
phone number in New York.
I got an uncle
in New York?
My cousin Ellen married
his half-sister's nephew
before she got bit
by that dog and died.
But he's still kin,
and kin is kin.
I'd like to see
Mr. Prescott, please.
Do you have
an appointment?
Well, you know, I tried to
get one, but I couldn't,
so I just thought
I'd surprise him.
Mr. Prescott doesn't
like surprises.
Everybody likes surprises.
Not Mr. Prescott.
You can leave your name.
Uh, Brantley Foster.
Of, uh, Kansas.
Of what company?
What do you wanna see
Mr. Prescott about?
About being
his nephew.
Oh. Well, why don't
you have a seat?
I'll see if I can work you
into Mr. Prescott's schedule.
Thank you.
Give Uncle Howard my card.
Are you really
Mr. Prescott's nephew?
In a roundabout
sort of way.
You sons of bitches
don't have a half a brain
between you!
I'm looking at a $300
million deficit here
because you idiots didn't anticipate
the needs of a changing market!
Uncle Howard?
Now, get out of here,
all of you!
And bring me back some
new ideas that'll work!
Or I'll have your heads
mounted on my wall!
Geez, he's gonna
burst a blood vessel.
Yeah, wishful thinking.
I'll see if
I can get you in now.
Thank you.
It can't be good for
his heart to shout that way.
He doesn't have a heart.
What, Maureen, what?
Brantley Foster
is here to see you.
I don't know any
Brantley Foster.
Your nephew from Kansas. Who?
He says he's your
nephew from Kansas.
I... But, Maureen...
Mr. Prescott
will see you now.
Clever. So you're one
of the Kansas Fosters, huh?
Shirttail relative,
to say the least.
Listen, I know you probably
told your secretary
to get me out of here
in five minutes.
So, I'll get right
to the point.
I need a job,
Uncle Howard.
Around here,
I'm Mr. Prescott.
Do you have any idea
what we do here?
Yes, sir. Pemrose is
a multinational conglomerate
with 27 different divisions.
Products ranging from dog food
to guided missile systems.
There are 30,000 people working
in this building alone.
Their accumulated salary is higher
than the gross national product
of half the nations
on the Common Market.
Last year we borrowed more money
from banks than Mexico did.
It's a great company, Uncle... Mr.
Prescott. That's why I'm here.
What can you do
for us, Brantley?
What experience
have you had?
Practically none.
But I believe in myself. Doesn't
that count for something?
Deep inside, I know I can do
anything if I just get a chance.
Think back to
when you were my age.
Remember how you felt when you
went after that first job.
Remember how you wanted it
so badly you couldn't sleep
the night
before the interview.
Remember how crushed
you were when the guy said,
"What kind of experience
have you got?"
You wanted to shake
your fists and say,
"I can do anything if
I can just get a chance."
They're ready for you in the
boardroom, Mr. Presoott.
Call Bates in Personnel. Tell
him I'm sending somebody up.
Well, you're in
the front door, kid.
What you do on this
side of it is up to you.
Congratulations. He really must
have taken a shine to you.
Thanks. Warm guy.
May I?
You can't come in here, bozo.
Take your crap to the mail slot.
I work here.
Just started.
What do you want, an engraved invitation?
Come on, come on.
Brantley, huh?
Somebody gave you
that name?
Aw, Jesus, a college puke.
This really makes my day.
Well, you're welcome.
Melrose, get over here!
Listen to what he says,
then do what he does.
Stay out of my way. Don't use the
stamp machine for personal letters.
Take off that
stupid-looking tie.
Looks like you
shot your couch.
You got any questions?
What do I call you?
You call me God.
Got a problem, boss?
I'm your man.
Show the college puke the ropes
and keep him out of my face.
His name is Brantley.
All right, kid.
Follow me.
All right, Brantley,
you stick with me
and everything's
gonna be copacetic.
Twice a day you deliver.
Like a mailman, you pick
up whatever's goin' out.
I can do it in 30 minutes. Rattigan
thinks it takes me two hours.
Okay. What's this department?
What do they do here?
Who knows, man?
This place is a zoo.
Nobody knows what
anybody else is doin'.
Can you get promoted
out of the mail room?
You can't even get paroled out of
the mail room. Excuse me, dear.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Look, not the suits.
- What do you mean?
- Excuse me, sir.
Good morning. Look,
not the suits, man.
You never consort
with the suits,
unless they consort
with you first.
Wait a minute.
That's ridiculous.
He's a person. I'm a person.
I can't say hello to him?
He's not a person,
he's a suit.
You're mail room.
No consorting. Come on.
We're entering
a sensitive zone.
This guy in that office,
he just got canned.
Mail room knew about it on Friday.
He just found out today.
No kidding.
ls his job still open?
No,man, an economic cutback.
His job was dissolved.
About two dozen suits
got the ax.
Will you quit
trying to consort? Come on.
All right, the
yellow ones go to Purchasing.
All the white ones are a bunch
of suits talkin' to themselves.
You're supposed to deliver
'em, not read 'em.
Some of this stuff
doesn't make any sense.
They send requisitions
through two departments
to get procurements
for a third.
What kind of
thinking is that?
That's suit thinking.
Something happens to a man
when he puts on a necktie.
Cuts off all
the oxygen to his brain.
Hey. What, are you crazy?
You're not supposed to take the
memos out of the mail room.
I can't follow a chain of
command in this company, man.
They got the right title,
but their job assignments
and objectives are screwed...
Look at this. Jesus.
Purchasing. What?
It's a joke. They've got two people
doin' basically the same job.
Neither one of them
is doin' it right.
I'll bring it up at the
next stockholders meeting.
Would you put these things away, huh?
Hey, hey, hey...
Whoa, Melrose.
Hey, how ya doin'?
Listen, we've been gettin' a lot
of requests down in the mail room
for stockholder
company assets,
Anything you can give us.
You're kidding?
Any of this research
you want, you can have.
Take it all.
Thanks very much.
Feelin' all right
It's the same with me too
The season that's taken
a hold of us all
And we're sayin' we do
Just look at our lives
We run through the day
We stare at the night
As you head for the noises
For me, well, it's just
like the Fourth of July
Maybe it's change
or the time of the year
Or is it the way
that you hold me so near
Oh, I swear
it's the price of love
I swear it's the price of love
Now I gaze at the lights
Our hearts show the way
For a moment I swear
it was heaven right there
I'm at war on this day
She's the most incredible-looking
woman I've ever seen in my life.
Man, she's a Rolls-Royce,
but she's also a suit.
What's she like? What
do you know about her?
I know enough never to
consort with the suits, pal.
Even when they do
have legs like hers.
Come on.
You know more than that.
Her name is Christy Wills.
She's supposed to be some
sort of financial wizard.
Harvard, all that crap.
And forget it.
I swear it's the price of love
Price of love
I swear it's the price of love
No,no,no,no. That's
Transportation's problem.
No, we do not supply drivers
for executives' wives.
We are a messenger service.
I don't care if the other
drivers are all busy.
Yeah, well, the same
to you, sweetheart.
Hey, Dartmouth,
get over here.
Executive's wife wants
a ride up to Litchfield.
Check out a car
and drive her.
Oh, where's Litchfield?
You'll find it.
Just follow
the smell of money.
Excuse me, ma'am. I'm not
quite sure which way...
Turn the key,
start the car,
put it in drive
and step on the gas.
Any idiot can do that,
even my husband.
Excuse me, ma'am. I know I'm
not supposed to consort...
Then don't.
It's just that
you seem kind of upset.
I was wonderin' if there
was anything I can do.
I don't know.
My cook quit this morning.
My analyst is away on vacation.
My Mercedes broke down.
I split my nail,
and my husband is screwing
somebody at the office.
What did you have
in mind?
Stick of gum?
This is the third weekend
in a row he's found an excuse
not to come
to the country.
No, I don't know.
But knowing him it's probably
some teenage airhead
from the steno pool.
The last one I caught
him with was so dumb
she thought dictation
was some kind of S and M trip.
Do you know my husband?
I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
Never mind.
Didn't hear a thing.
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
I'm so mad, I could spit.
He looks twice as good today
as the day we were married.
I just look twice as old.
Are you kiddin'?
You look...
Well, I just hope that
when I'm his age,
I can wake up
every morning
and find a woman as beautiful
as you are lying next to me.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Turn in here.
Bring those inside.
- May I help you with those, sir'?
- Yeah. Thanks.
What are you drinking?
I can't really.
I have to get back.
God, I hate the country.
Yeah, I can see how you'd
be real miserable here.
Who can live
with so many trees?
They suck up
all the oxygen.
No, actually,
trees produce oxygen.
Who are you?
Mr. Wizard?
What did you say
your name was?
I mean your first name.
That's it. Brantley.
Well, Brantley, I don't know what you
want out of Pemrose Corporation,
but I'll tell you
what you do not want.
You don't ever, ever wanna
become a corporate wife.
I'll watch my step.
Have another.
I've run 8,000 miles
on that tennis court
chasing a fuzzy, little yellow
ball with an oversized racket.
Do my legs look
heavy to you?
I've swum laps from here
to the moon in that pool.
Do you see anything in
this body that isn't firm?
Tennis, swimming,
aerobics, jogging, massage.
Anything and everything
to stay in shape,
not that he'd ever notice.
So, Brantley, do you know
why I stay in shape?
How 'bout a dip in the pool?
No, wait!
Are you serious? Listen, uh...
Look,I have
to get back.
Listen, this is a tempting
diversion, but I got a job.
I don't know if this
is such a good idea.
Yes. The young man from the
mail room who drove me home?
He's going to stay here and do
a little work in my garden.
See that he gets full
credit on his time card.
Thank you.
Help me out of this,
will you, dear?
That was great.
I swim five miles a day.
Supposed to tone my ass.
Yeah, it works. Oh!
Just when I thought it was
safe to go back in the water.
Whoa! You sure this
is a good idea?
It's okay. I know the owner.
Last one out of the...
You sure your
husband's not coming home?
Who knows?
He could be home any minute
or several hours from now.
Oh, my God. Oh!
I'm going to see that my
husband gives you a leg up.
I think we've done pretty well
so far by ourselves.
I mean Pemrose.
Uh... No.
No, thanks.
No, I'm gonna make it
to the top by myself.
Oh. God, you're adorable.
I could spend a week inside
those sweet, unwrinkled eyes.
Can I make
a personal observation?
Anything but the thighs.
Somebody sold you
a bill of goods
and convinced you
you had to be 21 forever.
That's bullshit!
I think you're terrific.
I think the only thing wrong with
you is your husband is a jerk.
You're beautiful.
You're intelligent.
You're sensuous.
Say that again!
Which part?
All Of it!
Oh, no!
What? What is it?
It's the jerk.
My husband.
My uncle.
Your what?
Oh, God!
That makes you...
Auntie Vera?
Oh... Oh!
Oh, God! Ow!
God! Oh, God.
What's my mother
going to say?
I've disgraced
my whole family.
Oh, the hell you did!
Not funny! Okay? This is not
a funny moment in my life.
Oh, relax, Brantley.
Who's going to find out?
I'm home!
He's gonna find out.
That's who's gonna find out.
Don't worry!
He won't fire you.
There's no way I'm gonna get a
raise out of this.
Vera, what's the company
car doing in the driveway?
It broke down, darling. The driver
had to take the train back to town.
No, he didn't, darling. He's in
here having trouble with his fly.
Get back! Do you ever stop? No!
How am I gonna get home now, huh?
You wanna tell me that?
Maybe we'll just have to
keep you here and adopt you.
You're a riot, Vera.
Please, Lord,
get me out of this.
I'll go all over the world telling
people not to screw the boss's wife.
What are you
doing in here?
Feeling romantic.
What's for dinner?
Oh, Howard!
You really know how to sweep
a girl back onto her feet.
Go back!
Sit! Sit down!
You look like death on a cracker, man.
What happened to you?
I was chased by
a 200-pound dog
with a mouth
as big as my head.
And that was the best thing
that happened last night.
What was the worst thing?
I got laid.
I'm not sure you got your
priorities straight, Brantley.
Oh! Hold the elevator.
Good morning.
The light
ls in my eyes
How can I see through
What do I hold on to
This time
I've got to find
Everything and more
'Cause that's what
I'm fighting for
We're entering
a sensitive zone.
The guy in that office,
he just got canned.
The mail room knew about it on Friday.
He just found out today.
Seems like the world
is upside down
Don't know where
I'm going to
But you know
I'm turning it all around
It's just something
I've got to do
No one knows
what I feel inside
Don't you know
that I just can't hide
I'm going to see that my
husband gives you a leg up.
No, thanks.
No, I'm gonna make it
to the top on my own.
And if rules have to break
Whatever it takes
I know that it's my time
It seems like
the world is upside down
I might have to
break some rules
You know you've got to try
You know
I'll turn it all around
It's just something
I've got to do
It's something
I've got to do
Um... Hello.
Tucker, where the hell
have you been, huh?
We got a problem in
Midwest Distribution.
What are you
gonna do about it?
What's the problem?
Our stock is down another
quarter-point this morning.
Whose fault is that,
Nobody's fault, sir. It's a
momentary lapse in the market.
Whose fault is it,
Uh, it's Davis's
fault, sir.
His department hasn't
been pulling its weight.
What do you have to say
for yourself, Davis?
Uh, I've been having
troubles at home, sir.
My wife ran over the
children's dog with her car,
then we had to buy
a new dog.
Then the new dog chewed up this entire
report that I'd been working on.
Are you suggesting that your
dog ate your homework, Davis?
Well, in a way,
yes, sir.
This is not
grade school, Davis!
Run at the back
of the line.
Consider yourself on warning.
Okay, everybody,
check your pulse.
Make sure you're exercising
at the optimum level.
I'm a bit above my level.
I better stop running now.
Maybe I'm above, too.
I really don't care.
Okay, everybody, run!
I can't get anybody's
approval for the extra two trucks!
Tucker, what're you
gonna do about it?
All right, look.
What does a boxcar cost?
The transfer sheet shows that
somebody is accumulating
an enormous
block of our stock.
What do you think
about that, Thomas?
I think it's very
encouraging, sir.
Oh, you do, do you?
Yes, sir.
When a stock takes a dive and
somebody buys a ton of it...
It means that stock is on
its way to a quick rebound.
It means that the company is
ripe for a hostile takeover!
That's what I meant!
A hostile takeover, sir?
Yes. I'm afraid that's
what we're looking at.
I want each of you to
examine your department
and see where
you can cut costs.
Cut them to the core!
We need to raise capital quickly
so we can boost stock support.
Right. Boost it!
Boost it to the moon!
You gonna put
that in writin'?
Yeah. Yeah!
Look, you tell
the trucking company
that we have to
service our customers.
Now, if they're not
going to help us,
we're going to find
somebody who will.
Well, all right!
That's what we need,
some gutsy decisions around here!
I'll get back to you.
Okay. Bye.
I have got to get that report
by the end of the day, Art,
or you're in
the doghouse!
I don't know.
Mr. Prescott?
I'm sorry this came in so late,
sir, but it just arrived.
It's about time!
No. This isn't the men's room.
They took the urinals out last week.
I didn't like them.
How about a paper cup?
I'm sorry.
I'm just about the only
woman executive at Pemrose.
Some days, I have a chip
about the men's room.
Hey, nice office. Nice furniture.
It goes with your hair.
Thank you. I like your suit.
it goes nicely with your nose.
This conversation
isn't going very well.
Thank you. There's enough talk in
the world already. Good morning.
That meant goodbye.
I have work.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry. I have, uh,
a lot of work myself.
Good morning.
I really swept
her off her feet.
All right, Foster.
Let's do it!
Hello. This is
Carlton Whitfield, 4319.
That's right. I'm still
waiting for that secretary
I requested last week.
Well, I realize
you're busy down there,
but I'm typing my own letters
and answering my own calls,
and it's getting
to be a pain.
Well, I've been here a week,
got my name on the door,
got a desk full of supplies and got
a geranium on my window ledge.
What I don't have
is a secretary.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll have Personnel send
a boy up from the mail room
with the requisitions
you need.
Just send me my secretary, okay?
Thank you very much.
Got a memo here.
Big cheese in 4319 wants
his new secretary pronto.
I got a memo here that's
burning up my fingers.
New suit in 4319 wants
his personalized memos
and stationery
This guy is hot.
I don't know.
Name's on the memo.
Also, he wants
nameplates for his door,
and he wants it
by noon. Okay?
You're late. I already
done my rounds.
You didn't punch in.
Well, I couldn't wait to get to it.
Boy, I love my work.
Punch in, then run this up to
Personnel and wait for an answer.
I... I'm Jean,
your secretary.
I'm not wearing anything.
I see that.
It was warm.
Seems cooler now.
I'll get dressed.
Yes, sir.
I'll move my stuff in.
Great, Jean.
Good idea.
Jean? Listen,
I have some notes here.
I also have some charts,
some graphs, some tapes.
They're all sorted into different
departments. Can you read my handwriting?
Sort of.
Do your best.
Oh, I need some
poster boards,
some colored pencils,
some colored push pins,
T-square, drawing table, lots of
pencils, and my lunch. Chinese?
I just can't wait
'til the day
When you knock
on my door
Now every time
I go for the mailbox
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
You're coming around
Good morning.
Now I'm walking
on sunshine, whoa-oh
I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
And don't it feel good
Hey, all right now
And don't it feel good
Hey, yeah
I used to think
maybe you loved me
Now I know that it's true
And I don't want to
spend my whole life
Just a-waiting for you
Now, I don't want you
back for the weekend
Not back for a day
No, no, no
I said, "Baby,
I just want you back
"And I want you to stay"
Oh, yeah,
I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
And don't it feel good
All right now
And don't it feel good
Oh, yeah
And don't it feel good
Hello again. Small world.
Walking on sunshine
Are you standing
still for some purpose?
Hey, I'm just soaking
up the atmosphere.
Executive Lounge, huh?
Care to do
a little lounging?
No, I'm busy.
Ron, did you get those figures
on transfer costs and insurance?
Not yet.
Big delay in Chicago.
Damn! I really need them!
Blame Chicago.
Maybe I can help.
I'm sorry?
Transfer costs and
insurance for what?
By the time I explained it,
I could find out myself.
Big weenie. Hey, listen. Why don't you
explain it to me over lunch, okay?
I'll have the answer by dessert.
I don't eat lunch.
Why don't we
start this again?
Carlton Whitfield.
And you're?
Annoyed. Shit.
You know, I'm just
trying to be friendly.
You picked a bad time. I was
counting on those figures from Ron.
Christy Wills. How do you do?
Terrible news.
Just awful!
Conference room, everybody.
Come on, on the double.
All right.
So you don't eat lunch.
Do you eat dinner?
Tomorrow night?
All right, but don't beg, okay?
It's embarrassing.
Do you know
what this is about?
Who are you?
Carlton Whitfield.
New employee.
I didn't get
a memo on that.
Oh, you will.
All right.
As long as I get the memo.
The absolute worst
has happened.
We are the target
of a corporate raid.
Donald Davenport has filed a 13-D.
A 13-D?
He's acquired 5%
of the stock,
and this is definitely
the beginning
of a hostile takeover
of our corporation.
I think we all know
what happened
the last time Davenport
took over a company.
Everyone was canned!
Mr. Prescott has sent down word
of what he wants us to do.
We are to recommend cuts
in every department.
Our job is to
slash the red ink
in every nook and cranny,
because our company needs
the cash for its defense.
Anybody wanna fire
the first shot?
Kill Toledo.
That's a good idea.
If we close down
our distribution centers
in Toledo, Joplin,
we'll slash the red ink
completely off the books.
Whitfield, you don't have to
raise your hand. Just speak.
Thank you. Well...
I know I'm new here
and everything.
And on the surface, these
cuts seem like a good idea...
"Seem like a good idea"?
But closing down those distribution
centers would be a big mistake.
It so happens that those closings are
exactly what Mr. Prescott wants.
Well, then Mr. Prescott hasn't
thought things through very well.
I'm going to tell
him you said that.
Good. Look, olosing
down those centers
will put a strain on this
company's cash position.
In the long run,
those cuts are going to hurt
this company's innate value.
Innate value?
What is he talking about?
Look, Davidson here will back
me up on this. Davidson?
I'm Proctor.
He's Davidson.
Well, damn it,
Davidson, tell him!
You wrote a memo
to Mr. Thomas here
explaining exactly
what I'm talking about.
Well, how did you
know I wrote that memo?
How did I know
you wrote that memo?
Who else could write
that memo, Davidson?
That memo was famous.
That memo
was a masterpiece.
Clear, concise,
to the point.
That was the best
damn memo I ever read!
In fact,
that memo wasn't even a memo.
That memo was literature. You're welcome.
Well, thank you.
If you have finished
your book report, I wonder,
could you explain
what your point is?
All right. Look, the point
is, we gotta be bold.
That's my point.
- We gotta build. We gotta expand.
- Build?
Expanding is the only way to help the
We gotta make this
company so damn strong,
Davenport won't be
able to find anyone
willing to give up
Pemrose stock.
It'll be too damn valuable.
Then we'll buy his ass out!
How old are you, Mister, uh, Mister...
Well, I think that you should keep
quiet until you're at least 25.
If I may, I don't think Mr. Whitfield's
age should be an issue here.
No one is interested
in your opinion, Davis.
We gotta
block that takeover.
I'm too old to look
for another job.
Nobody in their right mind
would hire me.
This meeting is going nowhere!
Mr. Prescott's
command stands!
We are to find those cuts!
Meeting adjourned.
You'll pick up the coats. That
looks like one only a lot smaller.
Hey! Harvard!
Where the hell've you been?
Personnel, chief. You said to wait for
an answer. They are real slow up there.
There's something going
on around here, Foster.
I'm gonna be on you
like a rash from now on.
You got that?
Like a rash.
Ooh, won't the other guys
get jealous? Whoa, heads!
Down, boy.
Come on.
Ah, hold it.
Right there.
No! No! No!
Ah, baby!
You guys
were good tonight.
Oh, God!
What are you doin' here?
Brantley, darling, I heard you
calling me telepathically,
I'm very psychic.
So, of course,
I rushed right over.
I would've used the phone.
Mental telepathy's
much more reliable.
Aren't you gonna
ask me in?
Yeah. Sorry.
Just a minute.
Hmm. Father used to live like
this before he founded Pemrose.
Aunt Vera, I had
a hell of a day,
and I really have
to get some sleep.
you're a young man.
Young men have
lots of energy.
We have a problem.
Your husband is my boss.
Oh, him.
We won't tell him.
Besides, Howard's
working late tonight.
On whom I have no idea.
You look very beautiful
tonight, Christy.
Thank you. Now, there are some
business things we should discuss.
Do you think that this restaurant
has an upstairs with beds in it?
Howard, please!
I don't feel altogether good about
what's happened between us.
You are married.
I'm not married.
You are married!
Well, yeah,
lam married, but, um,
she and I have
an understanding.
I love you.
I don't really think so.
Well, then I lust
after you.
That oughta be
worth something.
To you, perhaps.
Now, let's talk business.
I pitched the need for
cutbacks at the meeting today,
but a dissenting opinion was
offered by Carlton Whitfield.
Who's Carlton Whitfield? I didn't
hire any Carlton Whitfield.
Well, somebody did.
Oh, my God.
Donald Davenport.
What? He may be a
plant for Davenport
gathering information on the
takeover it's just like him.
Look, I want you to get close
to this guy Whitfield,
find out
what he's up to.
You want me
to spy on him?
No, I don't want
you to spy on him.
I want you to get to
be friends with him,
and then rifle through his papers
and tell me what you find.
That's spying, Howard.
Look, you have got to drop
this incessant innocence.
Life is harsh and ugly,
and only the strong survive.
Or didn't they teach
you that at Harvard?
What you got in there?
My lunch.
Your lunch?
In a briefcase?
Yeah. Ran out
of brown bags.
Hey, one of you guys got
a spare pair of laces?
Hey, man, I had a babe last
night you wouldn't believe.
Ta-nas out to here, man.
She was fine.
Where'd he go?
Coming through. Excuse me.
Take it easy. Come on.
Oh, what a nightmare. I'm all right though.
Stuck again?
I'm fine. I'm good.
You okay?
MANI You all right? Don't worry about me.
Jean, transcribe
these notes, will ya?
There's some things
on there I need right away.
Oh. Make copies of this,
copies of this.
Did you get those supplies I needed?
Yes, sir.
I'll be back later.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Oh, God damn that thing!
This thing stuck again?
These elevators
are stuck again?
I'm sick and tired of these
elevators always gettin' stuck.
Hi, Jean. Will you take
those to the cleaners?
These are some of the notes I
found in Whitfield's office.
If you want anything more,
you can go after it yourself.
Do you think he's
working for Davenport?
I have no idea.
I'm out of the spy business.
We can't wait for Whitfield any longer.
Let's get started.
Davis here has
prepared what I'm sure
is a thoroughly
incompetent analysis,
but let's listen to him read it
before we start criticizing it.
Fine. I won't read it at all.
Is that all right?
You have a bad attitude.
I'm gonna tell
Mr. Prescott about it.
Now, does anybody else
have anything to say?
Hi. Sorry, I'm late.
Sorry. Hi, everybody.
Uh, casual attire today,
Yeah, uh, trousers, yeah. New product line.
Testing 'em out. Pretty good.
Good fabric.
Good idea.
Christy, you have something
to say on this report I hope.
I came up with some more cuts
in the Middle States area.
Let me pass these out.
Why can't you be
more like her, Davis?
Mr. Prescott!
Well, what a surprise!
Art, I haven't received the full
report on the cutbacks yet,
so I thought I'd drop in
and see what the problem is.
Oh, no problem. No, sir.
Everything is tip-top.
Uh, Whitfield has pointed
out a few wrinkles
and we are going to
iron those wrinkles out.
Hmm. You don't mind if I stay
for a few minutes, now, do you?
Yes, sir.
Which one of
you is Whitfield?
Oh, my God!
Nose bleed! Dry heat!
Get 'em all the time!
Oh, God!
Such a disappointment!
Who was that?
Well, that's
the new boy, Whitfield.
Needed some supplies.
Well, back to business.
Oh, a few of these, and...
Oh, God!
You're from Receiving,
aren't you?
I see
you're a workaholic.
Yeah, well...
I got a lot of work to do.
What are you
doing here so late?
Oh, I'm a workaholic, too.
Wow. You mean we have
somethin' in common?
So, what's all
this supposed to be?
On, it's the...
It's the heart and soul
of an idea you hated,
Expansion in the Midwest.
I don't hate it.
I just think it's risky.
Furthermore, Mr. Prescott
doesn't want it.
It's a waste of time
to pursue it.
But if something's right,
how can it be
a waste of time?
There is no right or wrong,
there is only opinion.
You know, in some states, you can
get arrested for saying that.
All right, convince me.
Convince me then that your
opinion is the right one.
All right.
Take a look at this.
And this.
And, uh...
Yeah. Peruse that.
Oh! Why do you keep saying the
exact opposite of what I say?
'Cause you keep saying
such stupid things.
Will you take a look
at these figures?
They prove that the
elimination of salaries
would create a war chest for the
defense of the Pemrose Corporation.
Can't you see that? No,I can%.
I'll tell you why.
Closing those factories
and laying up people
is just gonna send a panic
through the market.
That might happen
or that might not happen.
No, it will happen.
All right,
close the centers,
put thousands of
people out of work.
You're gonna waste
all your profits
on unemployment
severance pay,
union lawsuits.
Are you all right? My
blood sugar's dropping.
It's just my mind wandered in the
middle of what you were saying.
It means I need food.
Do you wanna get a bite?
Yeah, yeah, come on.
I'll buy you dinner.
No, no, no. Dutch.
Just tell me one more time what
your solution is to this crisis.
We don't cut. We expand.
I agree.
Expansion is a positive
reaction to the universe.
While retraction or cutting
back or pulling off,
those are all
negative forces.
I used to be very negative,
and then I took this personality
workshop, my whole life turned around.
Hiya. My name's Sheila.
You make
a good-lookin' couple.
How long you been
goin' together?
About 20 minutes.
Oh, first date, huh?
Good luck.
No, we're business
Who needs that?
You should go together.
You look good together.
Oh, oh,
did you wanna order?
Yeah, we need to see
some menus, Sheila.
Menus! I'm sorry.
I'm studying to be an actress. I'm a much
better actress than I am a waitress.
Concentration, that's my big problem.
I'll be right back.
Well, Sheila's in
favor of expansion.
We should bring her to
our next executive meeting.
I think Art Thomas
would like her a lot.
Sheila is also in favor
of us seeing each other.
Yes, well,
Sheila is clearly a nut.
I heard that. You should try
to be more positive with your life,
or you're gonna
wind up miserable.
She heard me.
I'm having a nice time.
How about you?
Yes, very nice.
it's pleasant walking.
I mean, I don't
want to imply anything.
About your expansion plan,
I did some checking
and it turns out we can
get some tax breaks
if we put up a facility
in the Midwest region.
You checked? Earlier today?
That's great.
But the powers that be seem
to want the cutting, but I...
I've been trying to stay open to
your ideas, your business ideas.
That's great.
Okay, so you're
open to my business ideas.
Now, how about
my after-work ideas?
Don't push. Yesterday, I
thought you were obnoxious.
You know, a lot of
people start out that way.
They usually end up
gettin' married.
Don't hold your breath.
Come on.
Look, I think you're
secretly crazy about me.
And I think you'd feel a lot
better if you'd just admit it.
Come on, you'll like me.
I'm an acquired taste.
My dad insisted
on buying me this.
A round trip ticket
back to Kansas.
You know, I almost traded it
in a couple of times.
But now, it's kind of a symbol.
The day I use this ticket
is the day
New York has beaten me.
You know,
I just noticed something.
You're kind of a mess.
Thank you.
Did anybody
ever tell you that?
You're the first.
So what
I was wonderin' was...
how you can be
so incredibly beautiful
and be such a mess?
When two people get involved
on a project together,
there's a danger of getting
emotionally involved.
That would be bad.
They confuse the intensity of
their involvement on the project
and mistake it
as a relationship.
What are you, a shrink?
It's happened to me.
It's actually still happening
to me, I guess. And then...
The project ends and they find they
don't have anything to talk about.
it's settled then.
We won't get involved while
we're working on this project.
So who is he?
My competition.
Just a guy.
All right. So why don't
we call this guy?
Tell him you met a new guy,
the whole thing is off.
I can't call him.
Why not?
His wife might
answer the phone.
Big mistake.
Yeah, well,
let's not talk about it.
I have done a lot of stupid
things, but I have never...
I bet you have.
involved with a married man.
Well, he was sort of
separated when we started.
Yeah, well,
it turned out to be a lie.
The whole thing
was a mistake.
But we live and we learn
and we move on...
That wasn't bad.
Thank you.
Can you do it
again just as good?
I could try.
Where were you
all weekend?
You can at least
begin with good morning.
I'm madder than hell!
I want to know why you weren't
answering your phone.
I owe a lot to you, Howard.
I'll always be grateful to you for the
chance you gave me in this company
and the things I've learned.
What is this? What...
What are you leading up to?
I wanna work with you. I respect
you more than you know, but...
I can't be involved with you
outside the office anymore.
Yes, June, I'm looking for
the transportation costs
from Toledo
dating September...
I'll call you back.
Look, I'm not gonna
pressure you on this.
I want you to
take your own time
and decide
what's best for you.
Thank you.
I do think the timing's
a little ironic, though.
I was gonna
tell you last night
that Vera and I have agreed
on terms for a divorce.
I only wish that Vera and I could
have worked things out sooner.
That way, you and I
might have had a chance.
This arrived this morning
by messenger.
Davenport has called
an emergency meeting
of the Board of Directors
for Monday morning,
and, uh, he's offering
to take over the company.
I'm inviting all
key personnel to spend
the weekend at my house
in Litchfield.
I'd like you
to be there, too.
Of course I'll be there.
Uh, one more question.
Just out of curiosity, who
were you with last night?
Carlton Whitfield.
It was all business. Some
of his ideas are brilliant.
Well, I'm looking forward to hearing 'em.
I have to talk to him today.
Howard, those notes that I
took from Whitfield's office,
I'd like them
back, please.
Of course.
I'll get them to you.
Heads up. Thanks.
What's your hurry?
What's goin' on?
I got a special delivery
here marked urgent.
I'm watching you, Foster.
Just remember, every minute,
God is
watching you.
Excuse me, miss, I'm a reporter
for the The New York Times.
I couldn't help noticing.
You look like
a woman who's recently
been made love to.
Not here.
Oh, you weren't
made love to here.
Was it anywhere
within the New York
State lines,
because we usually let
The Philadelphia Gazette
handle Pennsylvania.
What's up?
You seem kind of upset?
I hate men.
Well, I'm glad
I'm not one of 'em.
Listen. There's something
I gotta explain to you.
I have something
to tell you, too.
I did something I wished
I hadn't done and...
All right, look.
This weekend?
I have some loose
ends I have to tie up.
I'll take care of it.
Uh, have a nice weekend.
I'll see you Monday.
Ho! Excuse me, miss.
I'm sorry. Excuse me! Ooh!
You didn't see me.
I wasn't here.
Ow! Ooh!
Where is he? Where'd he go? I
didn't see him. He wasn't here.
You still here?
You look great.
The end of the second lap, you
still got a comfortable lead.
Excuse me again.
Hi, boss.
Aw, shit!
Bye, boss.
What are you doing here?
Looking for Whitfield.
Got a delivery for him.
Why are you
wearing a suit?
Because of the funeral.
Whose funeral?
A friend.
He died. We buried him.
What is all this stuff?
Uh, production
performance charts
from the Midwest region,
l guess.
Where is Whitfield?
He's not here?
Have you ever seen
Whitfield, Brantley?
Yes, sir.
Well, lots of times. I deliver
here every day. Great guy.
How does he get
all this information?
Well, it's available in most
quarterly stock reports...
Take this up to my office.
Yes, sir.
You're not comin'?
I'll be there in a minute.
One question. What the
hell are you doin'?
Having a nervous breakdown.
No wonder.
Look, nothin' good can
come from this, Brantley.
If you get caught,
you get canned.
If you don't get caught, you
become one of them, a suit.
It's a no-win situation.
I'm still a half a step
ahead of them, pal.
I hear music
when I look at you
Aunt Vera, hi.
How are you?
I'm in the mood for love
Simply because
you're near me
A medley.
Gee, that's nice. Why you
singing a medley, Aunt Vera?
I get no kick
from champagne
Mere alcohol
doesn't thrill me at all
Please, don't
sing anymore, Aunt Vera.
OW! Oh, God!
I haven't sung in years, Brantley.
You see what you do to me?
I'm wild again
He's on his way up.
He's gonna be
here any minute.
Beguiled again
Why are you doing this? Ow.
I'm going to
have you for lunch.
Can't I get you
a ham and cheese?
Look at that cute
little Adam's apple.
Aunt Vera!
Listen. Oh, shit. Since the last
time we met, there's been a change.
Yes, nice suit, Brantley.
Look, what I mean
to say is... Oh, Christ!
I'm not free anymore.
What, you're gonna
charge me?
You're getting
awfully cynical.
Does your mother
know about this?
I'm not available!
Oof! Oh, good, you're
not gonna charge me.
Don't worry, Brantley. I don't wanna
marry you. I'm already married.
I just wanna love you.
I don't mean love as
in two star-crossed
virginettes running
through the clover.
Nothing icky like that.
I'm a practical woman.
You should be
a practical young man.
If you would just
relax and let me,
I could steer you through
these shark-infested waters
of this stupid company
just like I steered Howard.
Look, I like you. I really like you.
But I gotta tell you.
I've become
seriously and emotionally
involved with someone
who isn't my aunt.
I forgive you, Brantley.
There is someone
else in my life!
I got it. I got it.
I don't care.
There's someone else
in my life, too.
Maybe we should introduce your
girlfriend to my husband.
Then we both have the
same people in our lives.
Look, I don't wanna
get rough with you,
but I'll belt you
around if I have to.
Jesus Christ, Vera!
I'm gonna get fired.
Give me a break.
Don't whine, Brantley.
Life is too short.
Before you know it, you'll be 25,
wondering where it all went.
What the hell is this?
He fainted.
Dead away.
Actually, he, um,
hit his head.
Yeah, it was a light fainting.
Uh, knocked out.
Hit his head on what?
The floor.
The ceiling.
Which one?
What the hell happened?
Uh, Uncle Howard,
it was like this.
Uh, I walked
into your office,
and, um...and I saw
this beautiful woman
who I had never
seen before in my life.
And imagine my surprise when I
found out it was my Aunt Vera.
Uh, well, he was so excited,
his blood pressure shot up,
and then he fell and
hit his head on the floor.
Out like a light.
So I crawled
deliriously to the sofa.
Oh, and I rushed
to his aid.
And you walked in.
And shame on you
for not telling me
our nephew's working
for the company.
Our nephew works
for the company.
Now, I've got a million
things to take care of today.
- Why are you here?
- Lunch.
We were supposed
to have lunch.
I've had my lunch.
You don't seem to realize...
Oh, I do realize, Howard.
So, you won't mind if
Brantley and I go out
to lunch to get
better acquainted?
No. No, I can't.
I gotta go to a funeral.
You said you already went.
You know,
in my grief, I forgot.
why don't we bring Brantley out to the
house this weekend for the party?
I mean, he is family.
Yes, you know, that might
be a very good idea.
No, you see, I don't think
I'd fit in, Aunt Vera.
Oh, but you do
fit in, Brantley.
Oh, God.
I'll make sure he
has a wonderful time.
All right. It's settled. Now,
can I get back to work here?
Be nice to have a
playmate for the weekend.
You wanted to
see me, sir?
Oh, yeah, Brantley.
I want you to know I've been
watching you very closely lately.
You have?
I know everything
you've been up to.
You do?
Sir, I can explain this. See,
I didn't know who that was...
I know, for example, that you've
been working hard in the mail room.
You've kept your eyes open
and your nose clean.
You stayed out of trouble.
I'm gonna reward you for that
one of these days.
But first, I'd like
to ask a favor of you.
You name it, sir.
We'll talk about it
while we work out.
You like to sweat,
don't you, Brantley?
Your Aunt Vera seems to have
taken an instant liking to you.
I hadn't noticed.
Oh, it's obvious.
I think she'd like to get
to know you a lot better.
I wanna encourage that.
I'd like you to spend lots
of time with Aunt Vera
at the party this weekend.
Men like us can't be locked
into one woman, Brantley.
We need variety. Keeps us
young, energetic, competitive.
You get my meaning? Of course you do.
We're men of the world here, right?
Now, a problem
has developed.
I have a friend,
a companion...
A girl.
She's been getting
a little antsy lately.
Mmm, wants me to
leave my wife.
Well, I'm not about to leave my
wife, not for her, not for anyone.
I just need a little time to get
the situation under control again.
Not altogether.
Well, I'm inviting her out
to the party this weekend,
and we're gonna spend
a little time together,
which is why I need you
to keep your Aunt Vera
occupied as much as possible.
Get the picture?
Yeah, widescreen. But I got
some big plans this weekend.
Fine. I won't forget
this favor, believe me.
No, you don't understand.
See, I can't...
It's all settled then.
I've got my eye out
for some rapid advancement
for you, Brantley.
You seem to be a young man with
a lot on the ball. Keep it up.
Ooh, that's nice.
Oh, excuse me.
Brantley, darling.
I was afraid
you wouldn't come.
I'm going to
introduce you
to the most powerful
money men in New York.
And if you can do to them
what you've done to me...
I can't do that.
I mean bowl
them over, darling.
You're irresistible when you
turn on that boyish charm.
Hi, Whitfield.
Yeah, it's my middle name.
Brantley Whitfield...
Hi, Carlton.
Carlton Foster.
You go by all those names?
Yeah, I got a lot of 'em.
My parents couldn't
make up their mind.
My monogram looks
like an eye chart.
You're always
surprising me, Brantley.
That's your most
attractive quality.
Promise me
you'll never stop.
Ah. I promise.
Oh, good. Now.
Roland Owens, First Federal. Very rich.
We start with him.
He made his money the
really old-fashioned way.
He inherited it.
And see the man playing
tennis with the elbow brace,
the knee strap
and the glove?
Vernon S. Fletcher,
Wall Street's iron man.
If he likes you, you can write your
own ticket, and he'll like you.
Who's the tall guy over
there with all the girls?
Good eye, Brantley. Harley
McMasters, First Multinational.
Recently divorced.
They're all dying to be the second Mrs.
First Multinational.
Listen, Vera, you're
not gonna tell anybody
I work in the mail room,
are ya?
Trust me, Brantley.
I got Howard his key
to the executive washroom.
I can do
the same thing for you.
Here are Whitfield's notes.
Thank you.
This is supposed to be
a business trip, remember?
Oh, baby, how can I
concentrate on business?
Howard, let me go!
Ah! Oh, Carlton!
What are you doing here?
Would Carlton Whitfield
miss a party?
I'm so glad you're here.
So am l.
Stop! Not here!
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
No, I don't.
Wait. I gotta tuck. You go first.
Go first. Okay.
How do I look?
Come on. Come on.
Well, I've had a look at
that preliminary report,
and I'm satisfied that the proposed
cutbacks are our best line of defense.
Thank you, sir. We have tried
to cut hard and to cut deep.
Yes. Well, the job
was adequately done.
Well, thank you, sir.
I think Whitfield is right,
and this report is wrong.
Hello, sir.
Have you seen Christy?
No, I haven't, sir.
Not for a while.
Have you seen Christy?
Uh, sorry.
No, I haven't.
Oh, Jack.
Yes, Howard.
Uh, have you
seen Christy Wills?
She's talking to Whitfield.
No? Aw, come on.
It's my best, Christy.
It's my best one.
Would you excuse us
for a minute, Christy?
Brantley, did you know
that Whitfield is here?
Yeah, I think he was
here earlier, but he left.
No. Somebody saw him a few
minutes ago talking to Christy.
Now, I've got my reasons.
I want you to stay
close to Christy,
and keep Whitfield
away from her.
Can you do that for me?
Hey, I'm your man.
Good. I knew
I could count on you.
What was that all about?
Well, he wants me to stay as
close to you as possible.
He told you that?
I don't know. I guess he
thinks we make a good couple.
Vera? Are you awake?
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Even more beautiful
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Sweetheart, it's Howard.
Go away!
Let's make this
a night to remember.
Oh, darling, I know
you're angry with me,
but think of all the things
that we've meant to each other.
I want to
marry you, Christy.
Oh, don't be
that way, baby.
What do you say?
Will you marry me?
No, but I'd like to
beat the shit out of you!
'til I get my...
Brantley, who is that?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
The sexual revolution is over.
Everybody, out of bed.
What are you doing
in Christy's bed, Brantley?
I'm talking
to you, Howard.
Who's Brantley?
Brantley is the guy who just found
his stolen notes in your bag.
Those are Whitfield's notes,
and they are not stolen.
He gave them to me himself.
You were so
grateful to him,
you climbed into bed
and asked him to marry you.
What are you talking about?
I climbed into bed with you.
You thought you were
climbing into bed with her.
Wait. Now, when I came in,
he was in bed with Whitfield.
He wasn't even here.
Are you blind? Who's that?
That's Brantley.
So this is the bimbo you've been
screwing around with at the office?
Who are you calling a bimbo?
If the shoe fits...
What's that
supposed to mean?
Why didn't you just ask me for those?
I would have given 'em to you.
I was gonna
tell you about that.
It just happened
before I really knew you.
So when we were in bed, that whole
thing was James Bond time, right?
You went to bed
with Brantley?
Don't worry about it,
She's probably got microfilm
pictures of the whole thing.
What were you doing
in bed with my nephew?
Whitfield's your nephew?
This is Brantley Foster.
He works in the mail room.
The mail room? You mean
you're not an executive?
Let me get this straight.
Brantley is Whitfield?
That's right. Brantley is Whitfield.
Whitfield is Brantley.
And Christy is the bimbo.
Well, now that we've all
had Mouseketeer roll call,
I'm just going to
go call my lawyer.
Now wait a minute.
Christy is not the bimbo I was
screwing around with at the office.
People better stop
calling me "bimbo."
It was an entirely
different bimbo, altogether.
That's fine. How many
bimbos would you say there were?
I misspoke myself. There
weren't any bimbos at all.
Except Christy.
- Right. No!
- Ha!
Vera! Vera!
The question is,
how many people did you sleep
with to get to the top?
That was a very
expensive vase, you bitch.
Shut up! Now listen. Whatever I
did was my business, not yours.
No, you mean it
was company business.
That's right, and that's
all it was, business.
Let me tell you
somethin', sweetheart.
You're very good
at your job.
You mean I was workin' for
a guy from the mail room?
You're not an executive?
He's too good to
be an executive.
I was having fun on this job.
You had all this energy
and all these crazy ideas.
And you kept
takin' your pants off.
I don't want you to go.
Here's a little
somethin' to remember me by.
Thank you.
Brantley, why you
lookin' so sad?
I don't know. I just thought
it'd work out better, you know?
The job or the girl?
The job.
To hell with the girl.
You sound real convincing.
Well, look at it
this way, pal.
For a few weeks,
you sat up here
in the lofty atmosphere
of the big cheeses.
You had a nice
view of Manhattan
and a clean lunchroom
to eat in.
Hell, you did more
in two months
than most people
do in a lifetime.
Yeah, I'm gonna miss it.
The job or the girl?
Goin' back
to Kansas?
No, I'm not goin' back to Kansas.
I came to New York to succeed.
Oh, yeah? I hear there's
an opening in the mail room.
Hey, you should talk. You're
just as unemployed as I am.
Yeah, but not for long.
I have contacts
all over town.
Oh, yeah, there's always
another Prescott around.
Low blow, Foster.
Dirty pool.
I call 'em like I see 'em.
Yeah, you're perfect, right?
I never slept
with the boss.
No, you slept
with the boss's wife.
Hey, she seduced me.
He seduced me.
What's the difference?
I couldn't help it.
You went willingly.
Oh, I see. You were tied up in chains.
Is that it?
All right, I'll tell you
what the difference is.
I'm the one who
thought you were a nice guy.
I am a nice guy!
You're a rat! You lied
to me, deceived me,
then acted as judge and jury in a
situation you knew nothing about.
I know enough to know
you were spying on me.
I wasn't spying on you!
You lied to me!
And I won't be
spying on you anymore!
No, you won't,
'cause if I see you...
Sorry. This car is full.
We could never
pull that off.
How do you know?
You're lookin' at
a kid from the mail room
who moved into a top
executive position.
Are you gonna tell me
I can't pull it off?
But you didn't.
I almost did.
We could pull this off.
Whoa, whoa! Listen. I'm gonna
need your help, both of you.
Is it somethin' I could get fired for?
I like it.
Listen, Jean, see if you can find
Harley McMasters' phone number.
And get some food up here. Some Chinese.
Chinese sound good to you?
Of course, Mr. Davenport,
we realize that you'll
want to move some
of your own people
into the, uh, medium control
positions here at Pemrose.
What we're concerned about,
quite frankly,
is the upper
management positions.
Most of 'em will have to go.
Oh, no.
I see.
But a handful of 'em,
who have been so helpful,
like yourselves, of course,
will be stayin' as
long as you like.
Well, then I see
nothing to stand in the way
of the immediate merger
of our two companies.
I don't know. Is this the place? It is!
Hey, good. Sorry we're late.
Get them
out of here.
I'm sorry.
This is a private meeting.
I have to ask you to leave.
Hold these, will you?
Thanks a lot.
Call building security.
Whoa, whoa, Howard, relax.
On behalf of the personnel
in the mail room,
the girls in
the secretarial pool,
the female executives
here at Pemrose,
we wanted to give our blessing
to this little merger.
Who in hell
are these people?
Is it Don? Donny!
How ya doin'? Listen, Don,
you mind if I stand up?
I think better when
I'm movin' around.
I gotta tell you, Don. At
first, the idea of this merger
made me as nervous
as a long-tailed cat
in a room full
of rocking chairs.
But then I realized
I was wrong.
The combination
of our products
and your
distribution capabilities
could vault Pemrose right
to the top of the market.
So glad you approve,
whoever you are.
Now if you get the hell out of
here, we'll finish the job.
I can't do that for you, Don.
See, the problem here
is management.
Things were bad enough when
Howard was running the company.
But now we got a guy like
you to deal with, too.
Get them out of here,
Prescott, now!
He can't, Don. You see,
Brantley made arrangements
to buy 5% of
the stock in your company,
Davenport Enterprises,
this morning.
We're buying you out.
Get in there.
That's right!
We've initiated a takeover
of Davenport Enterprises
in a proxy fight for
the Pemrose Corporation.
This way,
Mr. McMasters.
Gentlemen, good afternoon.
Oh. These are my
financial advisers.
They agreed to lend me the money
to finance this takeover.
How are you?
Surely you're not going to
invest in some crackpot scheme
cooked up by a kid who used
to work in our mail room.
Not at first, Howie. But see,
I had an ace in the hole,
a major stockholder
in the company
with the clout and
support I needed.
Don, I want you to meet the new
chairperson of the Pemrose Corporation
and the daughter of the
founder, Vera Prescott.
ladies and gentlemen.
Brantley and I are
very old friends.
And when he told me his wonderful
ideas for running the company,
I knew he was
the man for the job.
I think we all understand your
real motivation here, Vera.
Oh, I admit
I felt some attraction
towards Brantley
at the beginning,
but as you've
always told me, Howard,
love isl ove,
but business is business.
You've run Daddy's company
into the ground, Howard.
And I believe these people here can bring
it back to where it belongs again.
Now, up, Howard,
out of that chair.
Don't be ridiculous. I'm not
about to resign my position.
Oh, you don't have to, Howard.
You're fired.
Vera, you can't!
Oh, yes, I can.
You see, Mr. Davenport,
as of this afternoon, I control
50.1% of the voting stock.
You, too, Art.
You're history.
Brantley, Christy,
Jean, Melrose.
Ah, gentlemen,
just in time.
Mr. Prescott and his aide have
disrupted a very important meeting.
Would you please escort
them out of the building?
Vera! Why this open hostility?
I don't understand it.
How did you get so...
Would you take charge
of the meeting now, Brantley?
I do not deserve this.
Excuse me.
That's the way
we spell success
Feel free to do it amongst
yourselves if you like.
So have you
been to Kansas?
No. What's in Kansas?
Well, I figured we'd take
the private Pemrose jet,
drop in on the folks.
They're gonna
want to meet you.
Why haven't I
met you before?
Baby, you ain't been
hangin' out in the mail room.
Ooh, the mail room.
l like that sound.
Charlie, we got that same problem
with elevator three again.
I don't believe this.
This elevator's stuck again.
boy So clean and sweet
Dressed and polished
for the big-time dreams
Got a letter from his mama
and a boyish grin
Close his eyes for women
and a real gentleman, yeah
You know there's nothin' like
havin' that wall against your back
To put your ass in gear
and your mind on track
When wheels start turnin'
things start fallin' into place
You'd be surprised
what you can do
It's all intelligence
and taste, yeah
Sometimes the good guys
finish first
Sometimes your
best is all it takes
You know that sometimes
the good guys finish first
Sometimes the good guys
Finish first
Finish first
Where to, sir?
The opera, Rattigan.
Yes, sir.
logic Turn your head around
Use the front door
and avoid the crowds
They'll try to tell you
that it can't be done
Beatin' big boys at their
own game is half the fun
Hey, he)'
Sometimes the good guys
finish first
Sometimes your best
is all it takes
You know that sometimes the
good guys finish first
Sometimes the good guys
Sometimes the good
guys finish first
Walking a straight line
in reverse
You know that sometimes
the good guys finish first
Sometimes the good guys
Sometimes the good guys
finish first
Sometimes your best
is all it takes
You know that sometimes
the good guys finish first
Sometimes the good guys
Finish first
Think of it, ey
The world's in
the palm of my hand
Run a comb through my hair
Headin' out for
some new foreign land
And all this could seem
like a dream out the door
With everyday people
face down on the floor
I always said I could
make it and be who I am
There's a new look in sight
What a change for
the new modern man
With all this it seems
like I'm dyin' for more
The streets are on fire
Never seen it before
It's like the sound
of electric guitars
Worlds collide and
hearts will be broken
Over and over
It's the same every day
Why can't I say what
has never concerned me
The secret of my success
ls I'm liivin'
Twenty-five hours a day
It's amazing to me
What a fool will
believe to get by
With a big change
of your mind
I can live
I could fly
The harder they come
the harder they fall
I never say maybe
and I go for it all
Just like the sound
of electric guitars
Worlds collide and
hearts will be broken
Over and over
It's the same every day
Why can't I say what
has never concerned me
The secret of my success
ls I'm liivin'
Twenty-five hours a day