The Secrets of Christmas Revealed! (2021) Movie Script

- MALE NARRATOR: Tonight, earth-shattering revelations
that will change Christmas forever.
- MALE REPORTER: Explosive news out of the North Pole.
- A massive, unprecedented data breach.
The inner workings of Santa Claus'
entire Christmas operation
have been leaked to the public.
- NARRATOR: The secrets of Christmas are out.
How Santa pulls off the most magical day of the year.
It's a massive data leak, and we're the only ones
with the exclusive new details.
Reindeer--how did Santa find them?
How do they fly? And are they mutants?
- They were bombarded by cosmic rays or by gamma rays.
And if that were the case, well, then, who did that?
- [laughs]
- NARRATOR: Millions and millions of presents.
How does Santa deliver them all in one single night?
- He may well be using the solar wind, the Northern Lights,
to move all over the world.
- NARRATOR: The Naughty or Nice List--who writes it?
Who's on it?
- HARVEY: When it comes to Hollywood,
I spent more than 500 painstaking hours
poring over the Naughty List.
- NARRATOR: Mrs. Claus and her shocking role
in Santa's operation.
- She does far more than you might actually imagine.
She's pulling the strings behind the scenes.
- NARRATOR: And who broke into Santa's computer
to reveal his most guarded secrets?
Was it the elves?
Was it someone close to Santa
or a trusted companion?
It's a data dump that lays bare over 50 secrets
of Santa's entire Christmas operation
and may reveal the biggest mystery of all--
is there a mole at the pole?
- An inside job would be more personal, more vindictive.
Somebody who has something to prove.
- NARRATOR: Whodunit?
That and more tonight on
"The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
- [enchanting Christmas music]
- [beeping]
- NARRATOR: The North Pole-- a remote, inhospitable place.
A place with very little infrastructure
and streets ruled by deadly polar bears.
But why here?
Why would Santa base his entire operation at the North Pole?
- I think that's really where the elves, like,
draw their magic from.
- Isolation I'd say, you know? He's got all his elves there.
- 'Cause all the magic is trapped in the ice.
They have to mine it out.
'Cause that's the only place where magic is found
anywhere else in the world, right?
- NARRATOR: Elves, isolation, and magic were the answers
we heard most often.
But we also heard this speculation.
Santa, who visits billions of homes in a single night,
going around the world
in a craft powered by flying reindeer,
might choose such an icy, remote location
to keep snooping eyes off his very secret dealings.
Comic illustrator and writer Dean Haspiel.
- I think it's possible that Santa might be alien.
- Ha, ha. What have we here?
More toys? Ha.
- I'd like to think that he's from planet Earth.
- NARRATOR: In fact, the hacker and conspiracy communities have
a nickname for the North Pole,
so says cyber expert and former hacker Dean Haglund.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
On the dark web, we call it Area 52.
- NARRATOR: But if the North Pole were visited by aliens,
wouldn't the US government know about it?
- I'm not aware of any connection between Santa
and any kind of alien life.
- NARRATOR: We asked General Glen Vanherck of NORAD--
the North American Aerospace Defense Command--
about a possible Santa-alien connection.
- I believe that's classified information.
I'm not gonna attempt to divulge anything at this time.
- NARRATOR: For a definitive answer, we asked Russell Ince,
Santa's official biographer--
the one man who knows Santa best.
He says from his own experience...
- RUSSELL: From talking to Santa,
there is nothing linking what might be termed aliens.
I can confirm that Santa is not an alien.
He is not using alien technology.
And he is a human being.
- NARRATOR: So if Santa isn't concealing his dealings
with extraterrestrials,
why would he choose the North Pole,
where the nearest town is over 600 miles away?
Cyber expert Dean Haglund maintains
it's because the North Pole is simply the most secure place
for Santa's massive computer network.
- They would have to have thought, oh yeah,
we're going to have to have some security in this computer system
so this potential data leak would never happen.
- NARRATOR: So speculation about aliens and cold confines aside,
we dug into the trove of data leaked from the North Pole
and finally found the answers to why Santa based his operation
in this desolate, barren no man's land.
- The first thing I noticed is that, you know,
the North Pole was very attainable real estate.
- NARRATOR: Chrishell Stause is a real estate agent with
the Oppenheim Group in Los Angeles
and has studied correspondence
between Santa and his real estate agent.
- Santa was an all-cash offer.
And he also went after a foreclosure.
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- NARRATOR: So the first reason Santa headquartered here?
Why else?
The North Pole was cheap real estate.
Private exchanges between Santa and his realtor
also reveal this secret--
a bidding war between the North and South Poles
over who could offer Santa the best terms.
- The taxes in the South Pole are famously high.
And, you know, the HOA fees are ridiculous.
And of course, blizzard insurance.
It's getting out of hand.
- NARRATOR: And there's another compelling reason
why Santa chose the North Pole over the South Pole.
In this leaked communique,
we learned Santa acted on the advice
from his real estate agent that the South Pole labor force
had one major flaw when it came to his gift-giving mission.
- CHRISHELL: You've got some really adorable penguins.
But, you know, not the greatest toy-makers.
- NARRATOR: The North Pole's elves,
with their opposable thumbs, are just better at handling
hammers, paintbrushes, and the essential tools of toy-making.
But the biggest secret as to why Santa chose the North Pole
is something even more critical
than affordable land or skilled labor.
Something every manufacturer needs,
whether it toys or Teslas.
Physicist Lou Bloomfield
has examined secret workshop blueprints.
- LEO: Santa has come up with an infinite source of energy,
drilling down into the Earth, and has harnessed the geodynamo
that are the core of the Earth and their motion,
relative motion, gives rise to Earth's magnetic field.
If you're gonna harness the power
of the Earth's magnetic field,
the North Pole is the perfect place to do it.
- NARRATOR: So the reason Santa
put his operation at the North Pole?
Affordable real estate, skilled labor,
and magnetic energy--
the endless source of Santa's power and magic.
Which is why Santa has forever carried out his annual miracle
from this location atop the Earth.
Delivering millions of toys around the world
in a single night.
The entire feat is monitored live
by NORAD's sophisticated Santa Tracker
to help ease the minds of children around the world
and to tell them Santa's on his way.
But how does NORAD do it?
How do they track Santa on his Christmas Eve journey?
- GEN. VANHERK: We utilize our satellites.
The satellites give the capability to detect
the infrared signature of Rudolph's nose,
just like we detect off of airplanes flying around
or potentially missiles flying around.
- NARRATOR: NORAD uses satellite and radar technology
to detect heat and light.
- GEN. VANHERK: So Rudolph's nose,
with that infrared signatures,
gives us the ability to track and monitor not only Rudolph,
but Santa and his journey through North America.
- NARRATOR: But NORAD's Santa Tracker can't explain this--
how Santa makes his seemingly impossible overnight delivery.
How on earth does Santa magically deliver
billions of presents in one night?
- I believe that he can time warp when he needs to.
That's just personal.
- Maybe he has, like, duplicates of himself
and he can travel around the world with his duplicates.
- Yeah.
- A lot of physicists have tried to explain how Santa travels
so far across the world in one night.
If you ask me, I just think it's pure magic.
- Santa delivers all those presents
by having some sort of time machine.
Maybe like "Dr. Who"?
- NARRATOR: To find out how Santa does it,
first we asked the experts in door-to-door delivery.
No, not the pizza guy.
- SOPHIA: We've been doing it for 114 years.
So Santa leans on us for advice and information.
- NARRATOR: And yet with all that shipping expertise,
Santa still maintains an edge.
- SOPHIA: It takes us 500,000-plus employees
to do what Santa, a sleigh,
and eight reindeer do in one night.
That's pretty impressive.
- NARRATOR: With this data breach,
we are finally learning the details of how Santa pulls off
his ultimate door-to-door delivery.
- RUSSELL: To give himself the best chance of delivering
everywhere in just one night,
it's not night across the world all at the same time.
Night moves around the world.
- NARRATOR: So one secret to how Santa delivers billions
of presents in a single night?
He chases night across the planet.
And how does he do that?
- He starts where night first starts in the world
and then follows night around the world
as night moves across the different countries.
So that gives him the best chance of delivering
the most amount toys at nighttime undetected.
- NARRATOR: That's one way for Santa in 42 hours
to deliver gifts to approximately
500 million homes--
that's 822 homes per second--
traveling at a speed of 650 miles per second,
or 3000 times the speed of sound.
But we wondered is there something more magical going on.
And sure enough, buried in the leaked data,
we found the answer to how Santa delivers every present
traveling so fast and so far.
- We live in a three-dimensional world--
three spatial dimensions, at least.
Left and right, up and down,
and toward you and away from you.
Three dimensions.
Suppose there were no toward you or away from you.
So we lived only on the left/right, up-and-down space,
then we would be two dimensional.
And this is a two-dimensional pretend world
with two-dimensional Santa-- flat Santa.
And he has to go from this house
to that house by way of the entire space between them.
But what if he could bend that space in three dimensions,
like this?
And then he could bring two houses ever so close together
and go from one house to the other in an instant.
- NARRATOR: As if flying at 3000 times the speed of sound
weren't impressive enough...
- I think what Santa does in 24 hours
is he goes all over the world
with these reindeer and these gifts, and he bends time.
- NARRATOR: So to make his overnight delivery
of billions of presents,
Santa not only chases night across the planet,
he has the power to bend time and space.
- LOU: If that technology were
to get out into the world at large,
wow, it would be revolutionary!
- NARRATOR: Just imagine a hot pizza delivered to your door
And if it's a nanosecond late, it's free.
Coming up--who could have breached the North Pole's
sophisticated cybersecurity
to steal so many secret documents
right under Santa's beard?
- NARRATOR: And later, ask any person on the street.
There's one vexing Christmas mystery they all wonder about.
- What's the deal with the milk and cookie?
- NARRATOR: We blow the lid off the cookie jar...
when "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed" returns.
But first, a super secret stocking stuffer.
Who protects Santa's Workshop?
Polar Bears-- 9 feet tall, 1500 pounds
with razor-sharp teeth.
But these bears don't bite.
They lick you until their tongue
freezes to your face. Ugh!
So if you're going to sneak into Santa's Workshop,
don't wear salmon-scented cologne.
- Now on to that still unfolding crisis at the North Pole.
The breach of Santa's computer firewall
continues to shake the world's understanding
of Christmas as we know it.
- NARRATOR: For the first time, we're learning the answer
to this question--
how do elves keep up with global demand for toys?
Our first clue-- this document in Santa's files.
A graph that shows how the demand for toys grew faster
than the number of elves designing and making toys.
The elves simply could not keep up.
- If you look at it from a physical standpoint,
they do work at extremely hard.
There is the main toy factory.
You've got the wrapping paper factory,
which completed toys are wrapped and then put into storage.
- NARRATOR: All that work became so overwhelming
that the North Pole supply chain
would eventually break when elves were swamped by demand
for the kinds of toys children wanted.
It was in this year that Santa had no choice
but to reach out for help.
- As technology advanced, toys became far more
than they ever were in the old days.
So the elves and Santa created a relationship
with major toy manufacturers around the world.
- NARRATOR: And we've uncovered the evidence
of that close relationship.
Purchase orders, shipping manifests,
and clandestine contracts.
All revealing how Santa's elves
averted a toy crisis and met global demand.
Santa partnered with Big Toy.
- You could say that Mattel stepped in
and saved their bacon.
- NARRATOR: Chris Down is the chief toy designer for Mattel.
- The hot toys of the time-- you know, wooden blocks,
two tin cans and a string?
These were hot toys, but toys
that were not really satisfying consumer demand.
And that was the perfect opportunity
for Mattel to step in.
- NARRATOR: In Santa's secret contracts
with global toy-makers, we discovered another way
his elves meet worldwide demand.
- CHRIS: We have hundreds of hundreds of toy-makers here,
not too dissimilar from what Santa has with all of his elves.
So you can imagine what kind of fun we have
collaborating and making toys.
- NARRATOR: The data leak not only reveals how
large toy-makers and elves work hand in tiny hand
co-designing toys, but also how global shippers
play a key role in their distribution.
- SOPHIA: During our peak season, Christmastime,
we're delivering over 30 million packages a day.
I mean, we are putting out a lot of packages on a daily basis
to make all the kids, all the customers, happy.
- NARRATOR: So, how do Big Freight, Big Toy,
and Santa pull it off?
- That's a little more complicated.
- It is very complicated.
- NARRATOR: Here's how they do it.
Every Christmas toy has its origin at the North Pole,
where elves collaborate, co-design, and build prototypes.
Once rigorous testing and approval by Santa occurs,
parts are manufactured by toy companies across the world,
then shipped to the North Pole
for assembly and distribution worldwide.
- SOPHIA: We go to the North Pole
to help Santa and the elves out year round.
We have to get the supplies, the toy parts.
We work with our toy customers year round
in order to keep the supply chain moving
on a regular basis so that
they're ready to go at Christmastime.
- NARRATOR: So that's how elves meet global demand.
Santa designs, builds, and ships your gifts
with Big Freight and Big Toy.
And for that, we should all be thankful.
- Otherwise, Christmas morning under your tree,
you'd be getting a whole lot more books, socks,
and underwear.
- NARRATOR: And there's one more thing we found in Santa's
secret files about his toy-making operation.
It appears that Santa doesn't want you to know
about his flops.
- Elves are great designers. They're very creative.
But sometimes Santa just doesn't like what they made.
- NARRATOR: Sorry, elves.
But not all of your toys are Santa approved.
We discovered documents that show Santa tried to suppress
plans for a new toy the elves invented--
a fun hat remover.
These plans detail what Santa didn't want you to know about--
an innovative design to compress water crystals into
a sphere that can remove a hat from someone's head
in a new and fun way.
- [projector whirring]
- NARRATOR: However, within the trove of hacked data,
we found secret product test films showing the hat remover
had a serious design flaw
that was both painful and hilarious.
- I can tell ya that Mattel
had no part in the innovative hat remover.
Uh, but I'm thinking about it from the elves' point of view--
they were just coming up with a great idea
using the raw materials that they had.
- No, snow.
- NARRATOR: According to this memo,
Santa himself issued the order to stop production
of the hat remover,
which became known internally as the snowball.
The project was canceled.
And according to personnel department records,
Santa transferred the designing elf to the wrapping department,
which is still a vital part of Santa's operation.
So we're learning not all toys are Santa approved.
And the snowball was first designed as a fun hat remover.
- RUSSELL: That mischief, that little bit of mayhem, creeps in,
where they need to spice things up a bit.
- NARRATOR: And whatever happened to those top-secret
plans for a hat remover after this data leak?
- Now anyone that gets their hands on these plans
can make one in their own backyard.
- Hi, I'm John Spoltz, and I pitched 22 years
in the major leagues.
And I'm gonna show you what I love most about Christmas.
With these plans that I got off the internet, I made these.
Okay, the first thing you need to know?
You gotta have ice crystals to make this hat remover.
So you form the ice crystals together.
And then according to the plans,
it takes about 12 to 14 pounds per square inch
to form into this perfect, perfect hat remover.
Now, this hat remover, we gotta find out if it works.
So...yeah, right here.
- Ow!
- Wow! That's pretty good.
- [grunts]
- These things are amazing.
One more.
- [groans]
- Ha!
- NARRATOR: Coming up-- is corporate espionage to blame
for the North Pole hack?
- There are a lot of other toy companies out there
that maybe are a little jealous
of the relationship that Mattel has with Santa.
- NARRATOR: Or is a disgruntled elf looking for payback?
- When I think about all the information that's out there,
tetrabytes of data because of this leak,
all because of an elf?
- NARRATOR: Our investigation--
who leaked, who hacked, whodunit--continues.
And you're not gonna wanna miss, for the first time ever,
exclusive video of Santa going down a chimney.
- He goes down the chimney an arm and a leg at a time
by being soft and pliable.
- NARRATOR: But how?
That secret and many more
when "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed" returns.
What does an exhausted elf do after a long day
spent hunched over a workbench making toys?
He collapses in the snow and waves his arms and legs
to allow the cold to ease the pain of his aching muscles.
Thus, the snow angel--
or as it's known at the North Pole,
elf physical therapy.
- More fallout from the shocking North Pole data breach.
- NARRATOR: Our investigation of Santa's leaked documents has
uncovered new revelations about someone
we know very little about-- Mrs. Claus.
What is Mrs. Claus' role at the North Pole?
- If you look at kind of what's going on at the North Pole,
we see a lot of Santa. We see a lot of the elves.
The person who's really kind of hanging back,
the person who's sort of obscured by the snow
and the darkness, is Mrs. Claus.
- NARRATOR: The data confirm what Russell Ince knows
from his own personal dealings with Mrs. Claus.
- There's definitely more to Mrs. Claus than probably
most people think.
- NARRATOR: Indeed, more than anyone would think.
Data reveal Mrs. Claus to be
the real unsung heroine of Christmas.
It was her idea to wrap presents
so children wouldn't know what they were getting
until they tore through ribbons and paper.
Unbelievably it was Mrs. Claus who taught the reindeer
their incredible navigation skills.
And based on her own experience,
it was Mrs. Claus who showed Santa
how to fit a bicycle down a chimney.
Hundreds of files reveal her role
in such monumental creations as the twist tie,
windshield wipers,
the spring-bound clothespin,
alternating current,
the tiny plastic table in the center of your pizza box,
and cold fusion.
What a gal.
- You know, every time I've talked to Mrs. Claus
or sent her an email or communicated with her,
she knows every single thing that's going on.
It sounds to me like Mrs. Claus
is really running this operation.
- The woman is the brains behind the operation.
I don't know whether Santa will thank me or not for saying that.
Whilst Santa's the frontman, Mrs. Claus is--is pulling
the strings behind the scenes.
- NARRATOR: She's pulling the strings all right.
She's woven them into a bizarre Christmas tradition--
ugly Christmas sweaters.
Those hideous, ugly sweaters.
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- NARRATOR: It was Mrs. Claus
who started the ugly Christmas sweater trend.
Mark Hajjar is an ugly Christmas sweater expert.
- MARK: Mrs. Claus has always been into knitting.
She's always been a knitter.
Sits by the fireplace, has some eggnog, and knits.
That's when things start going a little wrong.
I think she has a bit of a problem.
A knitting problem.
- NARRATOR: These leaked receipts from fabric stores
from 1952 to 1997 tie Mrs. Claus' hands
to thousands of overly sequined,
excessively ruffled, and abundantly bedazzled
ugly Christmas sweaters.
- MARK: The receipts are what gave Mrs. Claus away.
That was a smoking gun.
- NARRATOR: And what did she do with all those sweaters?
She gave them to the North Pole's army
of shivering elves.
- Mrs. Claus thinks these sweaters are the greatest things
she could do for the elves.
They don't wanna hurt her feelings and tell her
that the sweaters are ugly.
- NARRATOR: In fact, so ugly,
the elves would wear them once as a courtesy,
then toss them on to an ever-growing pile
behind Santa's Workshop.
- MARK: The pile was so big, you could actually see
these sweaters on satellite from space.
- NARRATOR: Something had to be done.
Unable to disappear these garish garments into another dimension,
the elves came up with a clever plan.
- Elves work extremely hard to make Christmas happen.
But by their nature, they're very mischievous.
Mrs. Claus knitted ugly sweaters for elves.
And then the elves have consequently, let's say,
redistributed them back out into the human world.
- NARRATOR: Elves regift the sweaters, wrap them up,
and secretly slip them into Santa's sack
to mysteriously appear under your Christmas tree.
The first confirmed sighting of an ugly Christmas sweater
was in 1952 in Akron, Ohio, to a woman named Gladys.
- MARK: We actually call this sweater the Gladys,
and it's looked upon like it's the "Mona Lisa."
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- NARRATOR: So she not only helps manage the workshop--
Mrs. Claus is responsible for knitting ugly Christmas sweaters
and creating a fashion movement.
Whoever exposed Mrs. Claus' ugly secret
may have done lasting damage inside Santa's Workshop.
- MARK: I don't know how it leaked.
The elves are going to be...crushed when Mrs. Claus
finds this out and confronts them.
- I think Mrs. Claus knows how to have fun.
But I think she also knows how to take care of business.
And when it's time to take care of business,
the elves get in line.
- NARRATOR: Coming up--how did the most famous reindeer
of all time get that red nose?
- I think Rudolph flies purely off of Christmas spirit.
And I think Mrs. Claus slides him a few cookies.
- NARRATOR: And up next, we reveal how Santa gets down
your chimney.
Never before seen footage coming up...
when "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed" returns.
How did Santa and Mrs. Claus fall in love?
They met on a speed date,
where couples would sit and spend five minutes together,
then walk over mountains and cross icy streams
to meet someone else.
When they met, the sparks flew. There was magic,
and Santa decided to skip the 6-mile walk to his next date.
You could call it love at first sight.
- NARRATOR: Ever since there's been a Christmas,
people have wondered about one of Santa's most magical
How does he get down your chimney?
How does he do it?
How does an immense man with an enormous sack
fit down such a narrow chute?
- LOU: The scientific community has had a really hard time
explaining this.
- NARRATOR: For answers that might explain
this complex event,
a cosmic conundrum occurring somewhere
at the junction of science and magic,
we went to the experts--
random people on the street.
- Maybe Santa covers himself in butter
to help him slide down the chimney.
- He's gotta have some, like, magical powers, right?
So maybe he shrinks himself.
- It's his belt. He could cinch it in.
And it makes him, like, slim fit.
- I would assume that he holds his breath, like,
when he has to go down the chimney. [laughs]
- NARRATOR: Can Santa physically change his shape at will like,
say, a mouse, which can collapse its bone structure?
Or an octopus that can squeeze itself through a tiny space?
Or a blowfish that can triple its size?
By that Santa logic...
- He's part mouse, part octopus, and part blowfish.
- RUSSELL: I can confirm that Santa is not an octopus.
He's not a blowfish.
He is just a human man.
- NARRATOR: So, then, if Santa can't instantly shed
hundreds of pounds to fit down a narrow pipe,
we're still wondering how does he do it.
How does Santa fit down a chimney?
Could it be an optical illusion?
If so, how would you explain this?
In this never before seen footage we obtained from
a homeowner's security camera in Ohio,
Santa's disappearing act is convincing.
Here he is, clearly visible, walking along a roof line,
scaling a chimney, and vanishing.
Moments later, he reemerges and leaves, having made the drop.
For a definitive answer to what is perhaps
Santa's greatest trick, we went to the data.
And on our first review,
we found only a single reference to a chimney--
a Post-It note reminding Mrs. Claus
to clean out one of their many chimneys.
Alas, it appeared how Santa fits down a chimney
would remain a secret forever,
a smoke stack with no smoking gun,
until we found this on Santa's reading list--
a book called "Chimney Quantum Physics: The Ups and Downs."
In it, among the dog-eared pages and scribbled margins,
in Santa's own handwriting,
"Send courier pigeon to Galileo for chimney instructions."
Eureka! We found it.
But what are quantum physics?
And how do they get a large man down a chimney, you ask?
We wanted to know too.
- You would probably need to speak to a physicist
or somebody.
- NARRATOR: Acting on a tip, we asked a physicist.
- That sort of quantum tunneling is exquisitely rare
for large objects like Santa.
But it appears from the data that he is able to tunnel from
the roof of a house into the living room right through
the--the roof itself.
He's never in the roof.
He just bleeds through quantum mechanically
and comes out in the living room.
- NARRATOR: So how does Santa get down your chimney?
Santa effortlessly passes through solid objects using
quantum tunneling--
definitely easier than going on a diet.
- We don't have to go down a chimney,
so we got you on that one, Santa.
- NARRATOR: But how does he get into houses or apartments--
any dwellings--that don't have chimneys?
Again, magic and science collide,
producing a lot of debate.
- The elves' locking and unlocking of doors,
from a physical perspective,
is not something that is done or would be considered.
- LOU: This theory that elves go in into your house
and open the door for Santa
is completely preposterous scientifically.
I mean, after all, everyone knows that elves are too short
to reach the doorknob.
Even elves with unusually long arms
or elves that go leaping off each other's backs,
scientifically this is completely unrealistic.
- NARRATOR: Yet in countless other home security videos
we examined, Santa actually strolls up to homes
and enters through the front door--
no quantum tunneling needed.
How is Santa getting inside?
- LOU: Many modern houses have no chimneys.
There's no fireplace.
And so Santa's now really got a challenge.
- NARRATOR: Russell Ince, who speaks to Santa regularly,
and has read the leaked North Pole documents, has the answer.
- With homes that have no chimney
or no access via chimney or fireplace,
there is the magic key.
That is a real thing. He has a magic key.
- NARRATOR: Santa, the ultimate locksmith
with a magical master key
that can unlock any door in any home on Earth.
In a world where everyone loses their keys,
where does Santa keep his?
- In the ice vaults in Santa's Village.
- NARRATOR: Behind an ice wall in an ice vault.
Sounds like a safe place to keep a one-of-a-kind magical key.
So whether it's through a door or chimney,
getting into your home is never a problem for Santa.
But what about finding it?
Some people go to great lengths
to make sure Santa doesn't miss their homes.
- [drill whirring]
- I love this stuff, man. This is what I live for.
- NARRATOR: For most of us, hanging Christmas lights is
a once-a-year chore that we'll eventually get around to.
But we found in the data dump a use for Christmas lights that
goes beyond mere decoration.
The lights actually guide Santa and his reindeer
to a safe rooftop landing.
Technically anyone can hang their own Christmas lights.
But if the lighting doesn't meet Santa's standards, well,
there can be problems.
We uncovered this-- a flight itinerary from 2014.
Christmas light enthusiasts should take a closer look at
the bottom of the page,
where we found this interesting footnote--
or perhaps hoofnote.
"Due to injuries and electrocutions last year,
"I'll leave it to Dasher's discretion to skip any home
that has too many lights up on the roof."
Keep those rooftops tidy, folks.
Coming up--
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
- NARRATOR: The most famous reindeer of all time.
How did he get that red nose?
- RUSSELL: It's the greatest possible achievement
for a reindeer to get a placement
in the Christmas Eve Lead Team.
- NARRATOR: We're finally learning the answer.
And we've uncovered how he and the rest of the herd fly.
- Does Santa Claus use some kind of, like,
combination of science and kid magic to transform
reindeer into flying reindeer?
- NARRATOR: Then...whodunit?
Did someone on Santa's team betray him?
And why?
- There may be a reindeer who's just had it up to his muzzle.
- NARRATOR: Still to come on
"The Secrets of Christmas Revealed".
Have you ever wondered how Santa's bright red suit
remains completely free of soot and ash?
Well, it doesn't. Turns out, Santa brings
thousands of suits on his sleigh.
Then, somewhere in midflight,
Santa pulls off a daring high-altitude wardrobe change
into a new, fresh suit, allowing him to appear
bright and clean in your living room every time.
As he empties his bag of toys,
it's refilled with his dirty red suits
to be handed off to Gurdy the laundry elf.
Moms, dontcha wish you had one of those?
- The guarded, top-secret world of Santa's Workshop
has now been exposed.
- As an army of Santaologists
eagerly pores over the documents.
- Here's what we know.
- NARRATOR: So far, our investigation of
the North Pole data leak
has revealed many details about how Santa pulls off Christmas.
We now understand how he travels the world in a single night.
How he gets into your home, with or without a chimney.
And about his partnership with global toy-makers.
Now we're learning answers to a mystery that has confounded
experts for centuries.
- How does Santa fit all of his presents on the sleigh?
- NARRATOR: Now does Santa fit all your presents
on a single sleigh...
on a sled, according to the data,
that's 6 feet long and 4 feet wide?
Engineering professor Oslam Kielich
analyzed the leaked data to find out.
- Santa must have a brilliant team of engineers
working for him.
- NARRATOR: If Santa does understand complex science,
what technology might he use to stock his sleigh?
- Oh, I'm sure there's a lot of, uh...physics and math involved.
- He's built some incredible things, including a shrink ray.
- He can shrink 'em.
- NARRATOR: While there is speculation that Santa long ago
mastered the secrets of nanotechnology,
our review of the data says otherwise.
- Yeah, I heard about the nanotechnology theory.
I don't agree with that.
It will take too much time and resources.
- NARRATOR: No, Santa isn't shrinking your toys.
Perhaps there's a simpler answer.
- The sleigh can adjust. [laughs]
It adjusts to what it needs to be in there.
- It's bigger on the inside than on the outside.
- Maybe he has, like, bags that have the presents for one house.
- He goes back and forth from the North Pole to the houses.
- NARRATOR: No, he doesn't travel back and forth
to the North Pole to reload.
Nor does he have support sleighs
that accompany him on his around-the-world journey.
The true answer to how he transports your presents
is rooted in a special type of magic.
Santa's sleigh includes a transdimensional gift conveyor,
also known as the bag.
Yes, Santa's sack is a portal to the North Pole's toy warehouses.
- I've been looking at the data with the team, uh,
from electrical engineering and computer science.
It defies all the physics we know.
But it points to the fact that there's a portal Santa managed
to create going between the North Pole and the sleigh.
That's how he's doing it.
- NARRATOR: During Santa's journey,
toys are constantly fed to the bag by tireless elves
working in shifts of 50 at a time.
They ensure that nary a doll, ball,
or game console misses delivery to expectant children.
Thank you, elves!
And if elves are the North Pole's
hardest-working helpers on two legs,
Santa's four-legged associates
also play a pivotal role.
We are now learning answers to the mysteries surrounding
a vital part of Santa's mission--his reindeer.
Among the data, we found a flyer Santa posted over 1600 years ago
recruiting his very first team of eight,
suggesting Santa has been using the same reindeer ever since,
begging the question--
do Santa's reindeer live forever?
We talked to a real reindeer keeper
in Orleans, Vermont to find out.
For years, she has labored toward her lifelong dream of
having her reindeer make Santa's elite team.
- PAULINE: Our reindeer are waiting for that call
just to come and fly.
That's why they train all year long.
They want to be able to help pull Santa's sleigh.
- NARRATOR: After 12 years of keeping reindeer,
Pauline Broe knows a thing or two
about these amazing creatures.
- PAULINE: Reindeer are very smart.
Once they learn something, they've learned it
and they know it, and they don't ever forget.
Reindeer are just so magical.
- NARRATOR: But so magical as to live forever?
- I'm not sure on that theory.
- [snaps]
- NARRATOR: One man who does know for sure is Russell Ince,
who most consider the ultimate North Pole insider.
After examining the hacked data, he's discovered how Santa
manages his reindeer team.
- Reindeer are not immortal.
The reindeer are named in honor of the original team
from the very first Christmas Eve.
Now those names are used to
identify the role in the team.
Think of it as a team sport, and so it's about the position.
And the new player comes into the team, takes on that role,
plays it for as many years as they can.
And then at some point in the future,
someone else will come in and take on that role.
- NARRATOR: For a North Pole reindeer, it's a good gig.
All the carrots you can eat, full benefits,
and 364 vacation days a year.
- They have amazing retirement facilities at Santa's Village
in the Reindeer Quarter.
- NARRATOR: So we now know the truth
about reindeer immortality.
They don't live forever.
Rather, reindeer are eventually replaced and happily retired,
like rotating actors in a play or athletes on a team.
But perhaps the biggest mystery of Santa's reindeer is this--
how do reindeer fly?
Some have speculated that
these magical reindeer are mutants,
similar to ones in comic books like X-Men.
- I don't believe that reindeer are mutants.
- NARRATOR: Dean Haspiel is an Emmy Award-winning writer
and comic book illustrator.
- What makes more sense to me
is that they were like the Fantastic Four
that got bombarded by cosmic rays
or Bruce Banner, who got belted by gamma rays
and turned into the Incredible Hulk.
And if that were the case, well, then, who did that?
- NARRATOR: It's not who did that.
It's what did that.
According to documents we examined,
the secret to reindeer flight lies here--the Northern Lights.
- LOU: The Northern Lights are
a stream of electrically charged particles
that pour out of the sun and they flow by the Earth
and interact with the Earth's magnetic field.
And some of them become trapped by the Earth's magnetic field.
And as they come spiraling in at the North Pole,
they hit air molecules
and cause those air molecules to glow.
And that's the Northern Lights.
- NARRATOR: The data show how Santa's reindeer team
hold an electrical charge
and interact with the Northern Lights.
- These documents suggest that Santa and his reindeer
have managed to sort of work with the solar wind.
And so Santa is sailing the solar wind, if you will,
around the magnetic field lines of the Earth,
and traveling very fast.
A good fraction of a million miles an hour.
- NARRATOR: Powered by Northern Lights, electrically charged,
and riding the magnetic solar winds around the Earth.
That's how reindeer fly.
Santa, it turns out, has been driving electric
long before anyone else.
Reindeer keeper Pauline Broe remains steadfast,
hoping her reindeer will someday make Santa's squad.
- What we do on Christmas Eve is we take candy canes
and crush them up with a hammer.
And we--when we're feeding them,
we put the candy canes in with their feed.
And that gives them lots of special magical food to eat.
- NARRATOR: It will take more than candy canes
to lift Pauline Broe's reindeer into the night sky.
Without the magnetic charge of the Northern Lights,
her Vermont reindeer will be hoofin' it.
- LOU: Her reindeer?
Alas, they're electrically neutral.
And they don't interact much with the Earth's magnetic field.
And as a result, they are Earth bound.
- NARRATOR: While the Northern Lights power reindeer flight,
it's often misunderstood regarding a particularly
famous reindeer who leads Santa's team.
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
- That's it!
- NARRATOR: Rudolph, the most famous reindeer of all,
guiding Santa's sleigh at night.
How did he get that red nose?
The answer? We're now learning,
buried in a confidential file from the North Pole data,
the secret to why Rudolph's nose glows red.
First, there's a simple, practical need for it--
it's dark out.
- GEN. VANHERCK: I believe that flying at night,
having the, uh--the light would be tremendously helpful
for not only Rudolph to find his way,
but to guide the, uh, the reindeer and the sleigh.
- NARRATOR: Sure, a red-nosed reindeer is easier
to see in the dark.
But when we dug into Santa's files a bit deeper...
we found the real secret behind Rudolph's red nose.
- GEN. VANHERCK: Well, I can tell you
that the Federal Aviation Administration
have requirements for airplanes to have
anti-collision lights and navigation lights.
- NARRATOR: In fact, we found
the letter to Santa from the FAA.
"To help other pilots visualize what direction the aircraft is
"pointing at night, red forward position lights must be fitted
to any flying aircraft--or herd animal, as in your case."
So Rudolph's red nose is the consequence
of government red tape--
a requirement, as it is with all aircraft,
by the Federal Aviation Administration.
Evidently even Santa is subject to government regulation.
- You'll go down in history
- NARRATOR: Coming up-- we investigate.
Could it be that one of Santa's closest allies
hacked his computer?
- LOU: Reindeer can fly,
so they can certainly operate a keyboard.
- NARRATOR: Then, Santa's Naughty or Nice List--
who's on it this year?
- You know, it's not great to be on Santa's Naughty List.
But in Hollywood, you know,
that's not the worst list to be on.
- NARRATOR: And are you being spied on?
Santa's secret spy network, and many more secrets of Christmas
revealed when we return.
How do you know when Santa's reindeer are up on the housetop?
Click, click, click.
Turns out that clicking sound is not from the sound
from their hooves tapping on your roof.
It's the sound reindeer make when they walk
and a sophisticated way for them to communicate
with each other
and help them keep track of each other in the snow.
So if you wanna catch a reindeer and someday fly it,
you better learn Morse code--
click, click, click.
- We're following that breaking story out of the North Pole.
Experts now asking, whodunit?
A disgruntled elf? A vengeful reindeer?
Or somebody on the world stage?
- NARRATOR: Yet another secret now coming to light falls into
the realm of, well, a little bit creepy.
Most people are familiar with the lyric--
- DEAN: He knows when you've been sleeping.
He knows when you are awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good, so, you know,
be good for goodness sake. What the heck?
That right there is so chilling and so dark that it's like,
what do you mean you know when I'm sleeping?
- NARRATOR: And furthermore, how does he know?
How does Santa know if you've been bad or good?
If Santa were watching our every move,
seems he would need to have
a sprawling surveillance network of spies.
It turns out he does.
These are North Pole operatives.
You've probably seen them spying from ledges, cabinets,
countertops, and from horizontal planks of wood
typically used for books, but never shelves.
Spying elves.
Santa's helpers are also Santa's informers.
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- Elves and surveillance. That is a big deal.
- The elves are recruited from across the world.
In terms of surveillance,
if you think you're being watched all the time,
I think the fact that the elves can check in
on you, to me, works.
- [projector whirring]
- NARRATOR: As seen here for the first time ever,
a secret North Pole elf training film,
where elves train to make it
into Santa's corps of elite spies
who must be able to remain completely still
like the palace guard
in the face of anything an elf might encounter.
To become a vigilant sentinel for Santa,
they bravely endure the worst elements an elf can expect.
less effective, but still very game, smaller watchdog...
and warmth.
So that's one way Santa knows
if you've been bad or good-- spying elves.
But elves aren't the only informers watching, listening.
- What list am I on, right? What list am I on?
- NARRATOR: Documents reveal Santa also relies on a network
of spies even more conspicuous.
- What do we do when we start getting tired?
- ED: [laughs] Yes, right?
And that--that can happen, right?
Sometimes maybe we do need to take a break.
- NARRATOR: An elite corps of Santa doppelgangers deployed
and embedded in shopping malls.
- What we do--and this is the arrangement we have
with Santa in the North Pole--
is we fill in at the places that he can't be in.
He can be in many places at one time,
but he cannot be in all places at the same time.
- NARRATOR: This is a real Santa Claus body double.
We're concealing his location at his request.
- We're in a small town, in a small environment,
reaching the world in a big way.
- NARRATOR: He operates the largest Santa training program
on Earth--the Worldwide Santa Claus Network.
- So what we wanna do is
we wanna be as authentic as possible
so that that child or whoever it is that we happen
to be visiting with,
that they--they always have that wonder.
Is this the real Santa Claus, right?
- NARRATOR: Could your mall Santa
actually be the real Santa?
- Everybody give a little wave, if you would? [laughs]
- NARRATOR: It's this Secret Santa's mission,
as the Yoda of the Yuletide,
to school thousands of women and men--
mostly large, bearded men-- in the Christmas spirit.
- The Christmas spirit is love in action.
- NARRATOR: And what it takes to deal with a toddler
who soils your lap.
- [laughs] Jolliness is not just about saying "ho, ho, ho."
It's about the whole look, the whole feel.
Thank you all!
- SANTAS: Ho, ho, ho...
- NARRATOR: These Santas will leave this training program...
- Bye bye!
- NARRATOR: clandestine operatives
in one of Santa's spying networks.
That's right--mall Santas work for the real Santa.
So how does Santa know if you've been bad or good?
A surveillance network of spying elves
and mall Santa body doubles.
- ED: So what we do is we prepare people to sit in
that chair and to hold that space.
And--and you never know if it's Santa or one of Santa's helpers
that might be, uh, in the chair there.
We're--we're honored to be called to do what we do.
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- NARRATOR: So beware-- your mall Santa
could actually be the real Santa.
But now, with some much North Pole data so public,
these Santas and their secret techniques
are at risk of being exposed.
- I know a lot of you guys
are using the blue screens and green screens.
- We depend on a certain amount of mystery,
a certain amount of magic.
And to think that these secrets might be, uh, floating around,
it has not made my job any easier at all.
- NARRATOR: Coming up-- the North Pole
has a plumbing problem.
But where's the leak?
- DEAN: The data breach would be only in the hacker's interest
if there was a financial gain to be had.
- NARRATOR: And Santa's private world continues
to spill into public view.
- It's entirely possible that Mrs. Claus has been, uh--
has been trying to push information out for years.
- NARRATOR: Or is a rival faction of elves
making mischief?
- The Dokufa, which are the outcast elves,
were really not very happy with the elves at Santa's Village for
helping, and embracing, and loving humans.
- NARRATOR: Was it someone from inside the workshop that leaked
Santa's confidential documents?
The hunt for whodunit continues
on "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
Remember that dangerous and hilarious hat remover
created by the elves?
Well, there have been many other misfires
from Santa's elf design team.
There was the stringless yo-yo,
the electric rubber ducky.
And who could forget the cost-cutting creation known as
the two-wheeled tricycle?
Which indeed cut the cost of production by nearly a third,
but led to a generation of toddlers
losing their first tooth and the invention of soup.
- Now on to that still-unfolding crisis at the North Pole.
- The breach of Santa's computer firewall continues to shake
the world's understanding--
- --of Christmas as we know it.
- NARRATOR: Among all the data leaked from the North Pole,
perhaps the biggest curiosity is about something very close
to Santa's heart--or stomach.
- What's the deal with the milk and cookies?
- [sleigh bells ringing]
- NARRATOR: What's the deal with milk and cookies?
The well-established tradition of putting out milk and cookies
has long been a way for children to thank Santa for his work.
- WOMAN: I mean, cookies and milk are absolutely wonderful.
So I feel like any person would like milk and cookies.
- I literally had three cookies today.
- Yeah. - So I can understand it.
- WOMAN: Yeah.
- He likes milk and cookies because it's his favorite snack.
- Maybe he, like, eats a cookie before going down the chimney,
and that makes him small enough to be able to fit anywhere.
- Maybe that's what gives him his energy
to make it through the night.
- Is that just kind of the image and brand he's created
for himself?
- NARRATOR: So where did this milk and cookies business start?
- DR. BOWLER: It started as a nice Irish custom.
When it was adopted for Santa Claus,
it's really an act of gratitude.
Saying thanks to Santa, so here's a cookie.
Uh, and here is also, uh, hay for your reindeer,
or carrots, or oats.
See you again next year.
- NARRATOR: For many, the milk and cookies ritual
is an innocent, last chance opportunity to convince Santa
they've been good.
But now an archive of letters to Santa--
countless letters written by children--
lays out what appears to be details
of a clear quid pro quo...
which we've now learned is an obscure term from ancient Latin
meaning "something for what."
In this case, milk and cookies in exchange for a gift.
- RUSSELL: So he's gonna turn up with a teddy.
And if the cookies are really nice, he might leave an iPhone.
- NARRATOR: And Santa's sloppy about it,
as seen here in this home security camera footage
of Santa himself carelessly leaving behind evidence of
the brazen transaction--
half-eaten cookies, spilled milk,
and crumbs everywhere--
and the gifts, as per the deal, under the tree.
So what about the plate of cookies and a glass of milk?
In another word, a bribe.
But as everyone knows, what one gets or doesn't get from Santa
is determined by something else far more detailed and objective
than a few milk and cookies.
It's the list.
The Naughty or Nice List.
How does the Naughty or Nice List work?
How does the Naughty or Nice List work?
- That's enough out of you!
Leave this room and report to the principal's office
- [metal playing]
- NARRATOR: He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good...
and what you've liked on TikTok?
Remember those evaporating Snapchat videos?
Santa has them, all of them.
Instagram, Pinterest.
Meta, not so much.
But everything you've liked, he's taken notice.
- They say don't put something on the internet
if you don't want it to last forever.
I say don't do something in front of Santa unless
you want it to last forever.
This is somebody who knows
all of your deepest and darkest secrets.
He's the one who sees your secret internet browser history.
- NARRATOR: That's right.
Santa is monitoring all of your social media to determine
your worthiness at Christmas.
- Don't look here, young man.
I'm not going to stand that kind of backtalk.
- NARRATOR: But when it comes to the Naughty or Nice List,
what constitutes naughty? And what is nice?
What is the standard?
Records retrieved from the North Pole
show Santa's Naughty or Nice List
to be a living, ever-changing document.
For example, in 1702, young Nathaniel Bartholomew
was put on the Naughty List
for staying up late and burning whale oil
long after his prayers.
In 1804, Sarah Clemens earned her place on the list
for failing to clean the butter churn.
Even in prehistoric times,
this young man was put on the Naughty List
for foolishly losing his sharp rock.
So the Naughty or Nice List is a code of behavior
that changes with the times.
What the newly uncovered information tells us, today,
naughtiness is everywhere.
TMZ's Harvey Levin has seen Santa's confidential lists.
- When it comes to Hollywood, I spent more than 500 hours
poring over the Naughty List and, like, I don't know,
20 seconds on the nice list.
The only guy there, Henry Winkler.
- [indistinct chatter]
- That was amazing.
- NARRATOR: Sorry, Hollywood.
Henry Winkler is the only one of your colleagues
who made the Nice List.
- You know, it's not great to be on Santa's Naughty List.
But in Hollywood, there are way worst lists to be on.
- NARRATOR: When "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed" continues,
we uncover documents that reveal Santa's true identity.
The birth records.
- Santa doesn't even know his exact age,
because back when he was born, they didn't have ways
of recording dates or times.
- NARRATOR: And then, whodunit?
- I think WikiLeaks, the deep state?
Maybe the folks behind other holidays,
behind Big New Years or Big Halloween,
could be responsible.
- NARRATOR: That and more still to come on
"The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
Here are the latest guidelines
for getting on the Naughty or Nice List.
Throwing a tantrum-- no longer naughty.
Sneaking into the kitchen to eat the rest of the cake--
no longer naughty.
However, breaking into your dad's computer to rewrite
the rules for what is naughty
for a show called "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed"
is really nice, especially since he won't know
until he sees it right now on TV. Ha ha, Dad.
PS, we need more cake.
- Shockwaves from the North Pole data leak are still being felt
across the world--
- --as experts assess the scope of the breach
and how the new revelations will affect Christmas.
- NARRATOR: We now know how Santa Claus acquired
the property on which he built his North Pole workshop,
where he lives and works,
hidden from the rest of the world.
- RUSSELL: If you view it as maybe like a military base,
I think that's a good way of looking at it.
- NARRATOR: But when it comes to where he grew up,
the cold trail grows colder.
Where did this once ordinary man,
who so dramatically changed the course of human history--
and footwear--come from?
- [sleigh bells ringing] - NARRATOR: Who is Santa Claus?
Personnel files from the North Pole data confirm
what has long been claimed--
Santa was indeed born in Hawaii...
according to this newly uncovered birth certificate...
at a very healthy weight.
- [sleigh bells ringing] - [Hawaiian-style music]
- NARRATOR: But after his birth,
it's as if Kris Kringle just disappears.
Nowhere in the North Pole files
did we find even a mention of Santa growing up as a boy,
a teenager, let alone a man, until we came across this--
a photograph showing a virile, robust 20-something Santa
posing with a group of small Norwegian men
wearing matching clothes and oddly out of season footwear.
- RUSSELL: It was the elves that came up with the idea
that created that whole scenario.
It was the elves that recruited Santa
to go and be the face of
this wonderful project of joy and love sharing.
The elves are the ones behind it.
They needed a human to be the gift giver,
to be the one who would deliver this joyful act of magic
and wonder each year.
- NARRATOR: And so it was the elves who recruited Santa
and bestowed upon him the magic of the North Pole.
Magical superpowers of flight, time travel, and teleportation,
supplied by the North Pole's magnetic energy stores.
Superpowers given to this mortal.
Long before radioactive spiders
and visitors from the planet Krypton,
there was Santa.
- I think the concept of Santa Claus as a superhero
is a logical kind of route to follow,
to bring joy to millions of children
through the Christmas season.
What he does is both super and heroic.
- NARRATOR: Santa is the original superhero.
- He's, like, a moral cop.
He's judge, jury, and mailman.
He has a certain kind of delivery system that rewards you
or warns you, whether with a toy or a lump of coal.
The Greeks have their mythology. The Norse have theirs.
America now has Marvel and DC superheroes.
But Earth's mythology is Santa Claus.
- NARRATOR: But for a man so famous, so visible,
there is little verifiable evidence of what Santa is doing
when it's not Christmas.
What is this superhero doing
when he's not flying around the world,
bringing joy to an entire planet?
- If I had to say if Santa had to go on vacation,
I would definitely say he probably would go to Miami.
- I would assume, like, Myrtle Beach?
- He's got a workout regimen. And he works out.
- I think Santa's version of a vacation is just, like,
chilling at home with Mrs. Claus.
He's a big fan of, like, the at-home kind of staycation
sort of vibe, you know?
- You agree with that?
- Well, not so sure because his figure doesn't show that.
- Well, it's all muscle. - Muscle?
- NARRATOR: Other than fleeting glimpses on Christmas Eve,
the cookie crumbs he leaves behind,
and the thousands of helper Santas we see at malls,
Santa is both everywhere and nowhere.
Why don't we hear about
what Santa's up to the rest of the year?
- So it's normally during the months of June and July
that Santa and Mrs. Claus pack their bags.
They travel.
And I think it just enables them to stay in touch
with what is now a very fast-paced,
changing human world.
- NARRATOR: When he's not traveling the world for work,
Santa likes to travel the world on vacation.
And apparently he and Mrs. Claus fly commercial for free.
According to his frequent flyer statement,
last year alone,
he banked over 3 billion miles, all in one night.
I bet you can guess which one.
In fact, Claus is among an elite class of members
to the Platinum Commodore Excalibur Jefe Class.
So if Santa is so conspicuous, so recognizable,
how has no one seen the biggest celebrity on the planet?
- He has some superpower that maybe he can change
into a different person and nobody can recognize him.
Maybe he shaves down the beard and nobody can tell.
- Mm, maybe he puts his skinny pants on.
- RUSSELL: Santa and Mrs. Claus will go and try activities to
visit tourist attractions, to go to cafes and restaurants.
It's the one time of the year
they get to be human again amongst humans.
They just dress like normal people.
- NARRATOR: These images, taken from nearly
every social media platform,
seem to show a nonchalant Santa playing dominos,
blasting his glutes, refueling,
and laying rubber.
- [engine revving] - [tires screeching]
- NARRATOR: Could any of them be the real Santa?
- Sometimes the best disguise is no disguise.
- NARRATOR: So it turns out Santa is hiding in plain sight.
Coming up--the most haunting figure of Christmas--
Krampus, the Monster of Christmas Present.
Should we be afraid?
- If you are a particularly naughty child,
Krampus is going to stuff you in that sack.
Uh, and he's going to take you away to the dark underworld.
- NARRATOR: We expose the punisher of the naughty.
- I think Santa thinks it's important just to remind
children of that difference between being naughty and nice.
- NARRATOR: How he got the gig.
- It's a lot of work. And it's a year-round job.
- NARRATOR: And his cozy connection to Santa.
- This has been a very, very sophisticated, uh,
very tight-lipped operation.
- NARRATOR: And then...whodunit?
Did someone on Santa's team betray him? And why?
- There may be a reindeer who's just had it up to his muzzle.
- NARRATOR: Still to come on
"The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
So what was the first thing Santa's elves made
with Big Toy in 1947?
Hint--it was based on something Santa played as a boy in Hawaii.
It was a mini version of the ukulele called the Uke-A-Doodle.
The Uke-A-Doodle, not to be confused with the adorable
Ukulele/Poodle mix, is a small four-stringed instrument known
for being hypoallergenic.
The toy was a big success.
But the same can't be said for its follow-up flops,
the Uke-A-Lhasa Apso and the purse-worthy,
but high-strung Uke-A-Poo.
- Good evening. New and potentially
troubling details emerging from that North Pole data breach
about an apparent cozy relationship
between Santa and Krampus.
- Yeah, so this is a shocking development.
But first, a child saved from drowning by a family pet, Bosco,
a pygmy possum like no other.
- NARRATOR: It seems whoever leaked
Santa's most precious data,
they were intent on exposing this monster--
Krampus, Santa's dark companion,
and the explosive details of their
professional and personal relationship.
First, who and what is Krampus?
- CORY: The Krampus is sort of hulking, very beastly figure.
He's all covered in fur from his shoulders
down to his hooves.
He's got long horns very reminiscent of a goat.
He's usually carrying a sack or a basket.
And he also, uh, frequently carries a big bundle of switches
so that he can swat at the children.
- NARRATOR: Not exactly the warm and friendly character
we associate with Christmas or St. Nick...
begging the question,
why would Santa be in contact with a monstrous
half-goat/half-demon-- aside from the obvious?
- This is a situation where they're playing specific roles.
Santa is there to reward the good children,
to reinforce this good behavior, and to spread hope, and light,
and joy throughout the world.
But it's really important that there's something
to counterbalance that.
So they're really playing kind of a good cop/bad cop role.
- NARRATOR: So it turns out Santa and Krampus are merely
playing the roles of good cop/bad cop.
- RUSSELL: Krampus is a imposing figure
just to remind the children just keep being nice.
- NARRATOR: And what's the big, scary thing that bad old Krampus
does to people who've been naughty?
- Good question.
- CORY: He's gonna stuff you in the basket and he's going
to take you away.
- NARRATOR: And so the story goes.
Krampus, this frightening creature, naughty list in hand,
meting out punishment at Christmas.
And Santa, rewarding the nice,
lavishing them with gifts and love.
And now we have hard evidence
of a cozy working relationship between the two men,
who by all accounts-- at least on paper--
appear inseparable.
Phone records, time cards, travel reimbursements,
even a photo taken of them
at the North Pole office Christmas party.
And this receipt for unusual medical services paid by
K. Kringle proves not only
that Krampus works with Santa, but works for Santa.
And what his healthcare plan won't cover,
Santa pays for out of pocket.
And our forensic data team uncovered what might be
the best insight yet into Krampus
and how he got on Santa's payroll--
a resume, job application,
and a handwritten essay Krampus wrote
on why he would be the best candidate
to scare children at Christmas.
His resume reflecting huge gaps in his employment history,
shows minimal qualifications for the job
and even a stint as a doorman at a private club.
On his job application, we see his real name,
Fritz Ricard Krampus.
And he lists an address under a bridge.
And in his essay, he seems to revel in bringing fear
to misbehaving children.
Clearly when it comes to being Santa's bad cop,
Krampus is the GOAT.
But now comes new evidence
that this relationship is more than professional.
It's deeply personal.
Text messages from Santa's own computer server prove
the friendship is more than just social.
It's much worse. They're bros.
- CORY: I've seen these text messages.
I'm absolutely shocked by the fact that they are this close,
that they're spending this much time together, uh,
even outside of the Christmas season.
Uh, it's unbelievable.
Absolutely unbelievable.
- NARRATOR: Still, despite the evidence,
others find it hard to believe that these two are up late,
texting at night.
- How does Santa text anyone if he's wearing mittens?
- CORY: He's got that big, booming voice that carries.
So I think he's the voice to text technology
sort of person, right?
- I mean, wouldn't his fingers
be flipping all over the keyboard?
- NARRATOR: Sorry, these text messages
come from the very same trove of leaked North Pole data
we've authenticated and are just as real as Santa's DMV records,
unopened jury summons, and high school transcripts.
So it turns out there's little to fear from Krampus,
whose bleat is worse than his bite.
And he's buddies with the nicest guy in the world.
After combing through every document revealed
in this massive data breach at the North Pole,
one thing more than anything else still remains a secret
and may never be known.
- Experts from around the world
are speculating tonight on who accessed the enormous cache
of leaked information and how they circumvented
the North Pole's cybersecurity measures.
- NARRATOR: Was it a hack or was it an inside job by someone
deeply embedded in Santa's organization,
like an elf or even Mrs. Claus?
Who is responsible?
When "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed" returns,
the shocking answer.
And...spoiler alert! The data is in.
And we know what you're getting for Christmas.
If you wanna know, stay right here.
That's all coming up next on
"The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
- NARRATOR: With so many of Santa's secrets exposed
in this massive North Pole data breach,
experts are stumped when it comes to
what is still a secret-- whodunit?
Who revealed the secrets of Christmas to the entire world,
forever changing the way we look at the holiday?
- I've been giving a lot of thought to, uh--
to a lot of people here who, uh,
have access to information we'd like to think of as secret.
- MARK: It definitely had to be somebody with access to
the computer system, the passwords.
- ED: It has me concerned.
Let me just kind of leave it at that.
- NARRATOR: Was it the elves?
- I would say it's most likely the act of the Dokufa.
Those elves that were cast out all those years ago
may be looking to-- to bring the operation down.
- I just think that a disgruntled elf is the reason
why this information got out.
- SOPHIA: I think it might have been one of those little elves
trying to get a little more power.
- NARRATOR: Was it Mrs. Claus?
Did she betray her own husband,
seeking revenge for her leaked sweater designs?
- Sometimes it's the most obvious person
right in front of your face who did the leaking.
- I mean, who else is gonna know Santa's network
so well as Mrs. Claus?
- RUSSELL: Mrs. Claus is jealous of Santa and the fact that
he gets to eat cookies every Christmas Eve.
- I have it, uh, on good authority
of who might've done that.
And I'll just say it once.
It's two words. Mrs. Claus.
- I do not think Mrs. Claus leaked the secrets.
She's got too much integrity and too much loyalty to Santa Claus.
- NARRATOR: Was it a trusted friend of Santa's?
- CORY: I don't think Krampus would necessarily
be that sophisticated.
- NARRATOR: Was it a reindeer?
- Now, I'm not an investigator, and the evidence is pretty thin.
But I am a scientist.
And I would take a close look at those reindeer.
After all, the reindeer can fly,
so they can certainly operate a keyboard.
- Could they use a computer and a mouse?
I think so.
- NARRATOR: Or was it an enemy outside of the North Pole?
- DR. BOWLER: I think WikiLeaks, the deep state.
Maybe the folks behind other holidays.
Maybe Halloween would be responsible.
- CHRIS: You know, there are a lot of other toy companies
out there that maybe are a little jealous
of the relationship that Mattel has with Santa.
I'm not gonna name any names. I don't know.
Have you ever considered the Easter Bunny?
- We're on, and we promise you, we will break this story.
- NARRATOR: Everyone we spoke to, on and off the record,
claimed they had no knowledge of the leaker...
until this happened.
Watch what our cameras captured
at the conclusion of our interview
with Santa biographer Russell Ince.
As he stood up to leave, with our cameras still rolling,
Ince made this shocking disclosure.
- Is that--are we done?
- So, um, yeah, no problem.
- NARRATOR: Who leaked Santa's secrets?
Turns out it was Santa himself.
Maybe the biggest secret of Christmas isn't a secret at all.
To wonder, to speculate,
to try to explain this seemingly impossible event,
is to want to believe Santa's magic is real.
And that's why he did it--to make us believe in the magic.
- Guys, guys, it's me, Dean.
I've been up all night on the dark web and, uh, it's crazy.
I'm telling you, this goes all the way to the top.
I'm telling you, it's Santa.
Santa is the leaker. Can you believe it?
And--oh, ooh, and you know what else?
In 1969, we actually did go to the moon.
Huh? Mind-blowing, right?
Oh, oh, there's-- there's somebody on my lawn.
It's--it's either federal agents or--or dark elves.
I gotta go!
- NARRATOR: Just when you thought all of the secrets of
Christmas had been revealed,
one more thing you won't wanna miss.
- DEAN: He is tracking every social media data point.
He knows exactly all that information
for each and every person
who will receive a gift on Christmas.
- NARRATOR: A once top-secret algorithm that can figure out
what you're getting for Christmas is now public.
And we have exclusive access to it.
We'll tell you how to figure out
exactly what presents Santa is giving you this year....
Next on "The Secrets of Christmas Revealed."
- NARRATOR: As we've learned from the tsunami of data,
Santa partnered with Big Tech, who designed a sophisticated
algorithm that enables him to eavesdrop on you.
Santa's figured out what you want for Christmas.
We combed through the data, and now we're going to tell you
exactly what you're getting for Christmas this year.
So if you wanna know...
text the word "Gimme" to...
and get ready for the number.
Get a pen and paper to write it down.
Quick, grab anything!
A crayon, toothpaste, ketchup from your table.
Anything to write this vital number down.
The four-digit number is
- We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Chirstmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy... year
- He's always watching. - Yeah.
- So you better be good.
- I think Santa listened to his wife, like I listen to mine.
And he--
- Santa just knows everything,
so I think all of the little boys and girls
should mind their parents during this time.
[laughs] To make sure that they have a great Christmas.
- I think maybe the elf made him a sweater.
- Maybe the elves deliver the presents.
- He could be, like, watching movies about himself and seeing,
like, other people's perception of Santa.
'Cause I think that would be
really funny to watch as Santa Claus.
- That's true, that's true.
- He is a stalker. We found that out last week.
- That's right. - Santa's snoopin'!
- That's right. He's watching you all the time.
- Santa the stalker. - Yeah.
- [bell rings]