The Thirteenth Guest (1932) Movie Script
1
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
You sure about the address mister yes
this is the place you'll be sure to wait
for me now won't you sure
come on
it's funny
number please
or I'm the 122 Old Mill Road the tower
has been occupied for 13 years and yet
there's a telephone in it can you tell
me who had it installed I wouldn't have
that information madam I could connect
you with an ID supervisor but you'd have
to wait until the business office opens
in the morning I'm sorry
all the modern improvements
I'm gonna clean the place up a bit
oh yes of course
dad's up there.
I sat next to him
mr. Barksdale sat next to me aunt
Lucille Uncle John
Harold
mother
for.
Marjorie
uncle dick and Joan
uncle Wayne
mr. Barksdale
mr. Bartel is that you
mr. Barksdale mr. Barksdale
[Music]
Police station captain Ryan speaking
yeah the old Morgan place he says he
drove a youngster out there about 30
minutes ago
hold the driver I'll be right over okay
wake up your dumb ass and let home get
going before we go hold up get on a
macro alright
and they divert some nine 600 you can go
leave your address but wants you later
yes
what well keep ringing them hello hello.
Phil this is Ryan listen we've got a
swell case down here I'm not interested
give me Stuyvesant 9600 when you hear
the tone of the gong it will be exactly
12 o'clock and 63 seconds ring that
number again hello hello you say what's
the idea putting that Dame on the phone
I know what time it is what time is it
shut up no no no I I don't mean you
don't hang up
I want you get over here right away
there's been a murder I know but this is
a good murder
listen 13 years ago a guy invited all
his relatives to dinner the SAP deserved
to die
well arrest the mother-in-law and don't
bother me anymore oh all right but make
it snappy
all right there was 12 people there the
table was set for 13 the 13th guests
never got there that was 13 years ago
and now tonight we find a dame murdered
and she's sitting at the table in the
13th chair huh I counted them she was
sitting in the thirteenth chair you dumb
flatfoot who told you where to start
counting well go back and count the
girl's chair first and let me know how
you come out and give my love to Aunt
Sarah
bring that number again and keep ringing
it and then tell the night supervisor I
want to know had a couple of phones
installed at 1:22 Old Mill Road if you
happen to get the whole Bell family out
of bed.
I am a Winston the private investigator
captain Ryan sent for me yes sir go
right in and have fun huh call up
headquarters and tell Clarence I'm
sending those prints yes Oh what's a
number central fuck you dumb idiot don't
even know that get out and look it up so
just let me know you're good yes we got
a 12 murder here good and the number you
want is central firepower well you
certainly took your time
I was busy yeah sure when you hear the
gong the time will be twelve o'clock and
six split seconds yeah have a look at
this and then I've introduced you to the
lady this house has been unoccupied for
thirteen years yet the phone's installed
and the electricity turned on I'm
tracing that those books are on the
floor
that's all in here now come on and have
a look at the banquet
the kids you're home still a little like
same old joke the habit day off I think
up a new one you can have her now God
just a minute I want Winston to have a
look.
Oh would you take care of that Jerri
please okay so bad pretty girl you
wouldn't notice that sitting up yeah
okay dot
say how did you know about that dinner
party 13 years ago Oh every man the dog
knows that story around here.
Morgan's senior drop dead just Apple
they all sat down to the table the old
lady she was young man must have been a
little bit cracked herself she wouldn't
allow a thing to be touched just closed
up the house and moved up and that step
and all these guys have been waiting for
the dinner ever since mom give me the
willies every time I think of it well
don't think then you know who the girl
is.
Sure daughter Marie Morgan had her whole
life's history in her handbag but no
address the driver that brought her out
here said he picked her up on the corner
of 59th and Park Department house no on
the corner we've been checking up on the
apartment I was around there now how was
she killed
hang widely here the doc hasn't said for
sure yet but it looks like she was
electrocuted electrocuted
now I thought of that too not a wire on
it that was it electricity enough to
kill her but not to burn the body I
wonder where she got it
hey that lect in the living room I'll
get it well what about that light in the
living room hey Don I tried to open
every socket in the room that don't work
oh maybe the Globes burned out never
charged with that okay anyway I don't
think I'd go around trying light sockets
if I were you
why didn't it occur to you that a young
lady was electrocuted here tonight and
that she might have been trying light
sockets
hello operator see if it and trace that
call and ring me back make it snappy yes
darling there's been a murder you've
read all about it from the morning
papers she listened in on all the other
calls why the devil didn't she listening
on that one what was it I don't know I
just heard the receiver going up after I
answered hello
captain Ryan speaking sound Hotel thank
you sister.
Oh beat it over the sound hotel and see
if we can trace that call get a list of
all the guests and all the telephone
calls after midnight and don't Muppet
and don't go to sleep oh well how am I
going to get there you can drive a car
can't you sweetheart take mine and feed
it yes oh that guy's uncle don't die
soon I'll be a nervous wreck who's the
uncle just a big boss in the city that's
all
oh-ho so that's why he's on the force
you don't suppose because you got any
brains what's the matter now well
obvious what are you laughing at nothing
I just think it's funny
I'm glad you invited me down.
I'm invited
yeah okay sit down I'll see you in a few
minutes
do they identify the body yes sir
there's one of you as the brother I am
friend of yours yes and of my sister
all right boys I won't keep you long
either of you know a man named Barksdale
yes
we both do he was my father's lawyer is
he still handling the estate yes why
we'll ask the questions if you don't
mind son wasn't your father's well a
little unusual it was quite unusual he
provided for my mother for Marie and me
left the bulk of the estate to the 13th
guest who was that we don't know the
13th guests never arrived
screwie anything else about this guest
no accepted we always supposed that he'd
come forward and be named when we became
of age or what'll that be well why do
you suppose that might have had
something to do with it.
Marie was 21 yesterday what yes Boxtel
call it the other day and told you I'm
not interested in that
well I am all right be interested wait a
minute where you going out I'll see you
later hey but
I suppose you were at that dinner part
of your poly game yeah how'd your
sisters hit that night right beside my
father she always had that which side
one is right
will you draw me a diagram with that
table name the people in the seating
arrangement and if any of them have died
since make a note of it have you kept in
touch with the family when we couldn't
avoid it well put down their addresses
and leave it with a captain here Thanks
do you remember how we set that night
yes I think so
were you there well I was visiting there
we were just kids then but it isn't easy
to forget a thing like that dinner party
I suppose not
I've got a hunch I'll be thinking about
it for some time myself well let's hear
about that phone call from Barksdale and
I'll let you go well there there isn't
much to it except that Barksdale called
her a few days ago and gave us an
instructions something she was supposed
to do on a 21st birthday and you don't
remember what they were I know she
wouldn't tell me and we're supposed to
find the answer does anybody know
anything what's the matter with the old
man besides being nuts are you sure this
dinner wasn't held in an insane asylum
what try and calm down take these voices
of the next office and give him some
paper and pencils and send Carter a yes
you boys better stick around we might
want you
that's too bad son take care of yourself
what do you mean nothing much you mean
they might go after me
all right no I don't think I'd care if
they did well we would the cost the
department a lot of dough to investigate
a murder well in that case I'll be
careful.
Thanks
you've been very considerate today
that's all right son
well what do you think I can't think I'm
numb why the devil does a man have to go
through all that hocus-pocus just to
leave a will it burns me up well stop
burning Carl may happy yeah hey cutter
let's see what you got
yes sir here the deposit slips in the
telephones lights parted but ones on.
Barksdale Barksdale so that's where
you've got of that yeah feel better now
I'm safe
wait'll I lay my hands on this guy also
a man answering to Barksdale description
registered at the sound hotel last night
about 9:30 under the name of Perry and
at 122 put in a call to Douglas and nine
six eight then checked out of his hotel
immediately after he hasn't been home
since sandy has been shown up these are
bitchin and these folks were getting to
worry now isn't that killed bad
tell them they can see him on visitors
day let's go the pod research I managed
to dig this up out of them The Daily.
Herald files
what's Butterfield 12
let's send it out at once okay put a
couple of the boys on those two kids in
there they may be alright and again they
may not yes sir anything else releasing
no but stick around
calling all cars calling all cars
stand by for description of one John.
Barksdale wanted for questioning on the.
Morgan murder case last seen on Long.
Island driving a Packard touring license
unknown description fifty years six feet
grey hair eyes brown that is all
[Applause]
[Music]
Hello
hello
ah.
I don't care you call me all the name
here warden I brought out on names to
call you
I don't care mr. Whitson if you to hurt
it good what does it sound like room
like harsh fire and the devil and a
couple of a nice throat in that could
you give me an idea of what it sounded
like kinda retarded kind of up like it's
kind of like it perhaps if you tried it
again bro yeah well don't you know
they're being rugby shut up
I was only trying shot up get out
that
so who put all them books there so what
I did you go to sleep today I don't
think so
you don't think so get out of my sight
before I kill you yeah
hey so Clint
you come here where are you
is he dead
it's Barksdale can you beat that certain
house upstairs and down yes sir nothing
that'll do much good well what's the
answer it's got me worried plenty me too
but I'm beginning to be glad that I
wasn't invited to that dinner party
years ago yeah here's the diagram young
Morgan true today take a look at the
seating arrangement first we find the
girl's body in the chair that she sat in
that night and now this are you
beginning to get the idea
gee yes ye gods Phil are they gonna
blind this table with stiffs that's the
way it looks
unless we do something but but that's
crazy it very nearly confirms one thing
though the person doing it was at the
table that night
I've gotta talk
[Applause]
No
how'd you get out of the market I
haven't been in any more
take your hands off me be nice I won't
let me alone
do you want me to spank you hold still
that's a good little girl what's your
name Marie Morgan yes what did you say I
asked this child here if she would Marie
Morgan I know child will you shut up and
she said yes and she said yes I don't
know maybe it's something I hate this is
the nightmare where did you pick her up
riding around in your car in market I
was on my way to the police station yes
and baby you're still on your way to the
police station take it out and lock her
up I've got some things I want to ask
her about you can't arrest me Oh can't I
that's what they all say
maybe it's all a mistake and maybe you
can explain everything out but you won't
say a word until you see your lawyer
well I won't all right baby come and see
your lawyer talk to a good look
marjory that's right you know anything
about it no what can this mean that's
what we're gonna find out take our luck
in the library did we get through here
what she headed for police station she
was going in that direction
call up city headquarters and report
this call a coroner and stick around
outside yes sir no why did you ask that
girl if she was Marie Morgan I think she
is what about the other Dame there are
no twins no but the other girl had
several small scars around her face
didn't you notice them yes but I didn't
think anything about it well I did
I thought she'd had her face lifted well
what a blasted idiot I have been that's
why you were so surprised when her
brother told you she was 21
certainly no kid that age is going to
have her face lifted and you beat it
back to the morgue to have another look
right and took a good plastic surgeon
with me she hadn't had her face lifted
she'd had it completely made over well
I'll be now that commenced to make sense.
Barksdale made an appointment with the
real Marie Morgan to meet him here they
planned to kill her and stuff she took
the other girl who planned to kill her
huh Barksdale made the appointment yes
but if Barksdale was in on it but she
may have been who killed the gentlemen
on your right
little bo-peep
operating
I wouldn't do that if I were you
police might not like it I was only
trying to call my brother we'll call him
later you're going to take a ride with
me where to my apartment she'd be safer
in jail don't worry she won't get away I
didn't mean that I said she'd be safer
in jail and humane go to the devil
mr. Adams two bits in why my dear child
why I'm almost afraid to touch you what
is the meaning of all this why I'll have
to send back that cutaway I ordered for
your funeral you wear those to wedding
is not funerals
this is uncle Adams the worst old
reprobate who ever lived my dear you're
covering quite a lot of territory how do
you do mr. Winston I'm delighted how do
you do if you give him a drink guy think
he make you still one of the beat scotch
and Soda Springs and thanks easy on the
soda.
[Applause]
Hey if you want my opinion it's uncle
Adams who's been committing all the
murders all the murders mr. Barksdale
was murdered today in the old house.
Boxster my word whatever you understand
but but murders
what's the meaning of it mr. Winston
you're investigating the case I suppose
unofficially I'm a friend of Captain.
Ryan yes yes of course I've heard of you
well have you any accused don't you
cover many ideas no but he has a laugh
for you really well let's have it
you're next what according to mr.
Winston's theory you're next on the list
unless of course you've been doing the
murders yourself you've always had the
most acute sense of humor must be some
more of the family I'm doing the
resurrection egg and enjoying a fairy if
I know your you certainly startled me
if you explain your reasons well for
heaven's sake I thought you were dead
disappointed well why be a hypocrite you
know I've always hated your module if
you say that word again out it's only
what our laws
is this for private use only I suppose
your Winston at your service
I may take you up on that if this is
another one of your jokes Murray I must
say it's in bad taste
I've been simply frustrated all day I'll
bet you have bridge always tires mother
Marjorie they tried to kill me are you
glad I'm alive am I glad I think you are
but what does it mean since they made us
get down to look at that that other girl
was you did you cry well to tell you the
truth money week we both went home we've
got potted
that's just as good mr. Winston has a
whole family here he says one of them is
the murderer I'm getting odds on uncle.
Adams Adams he's too lazy to commit a
murder
but tell me darling what happened to you
oh well here we are just one big happy
family
oh hello Thor who was that blonde I saw
you with the other night there was no
blonde and you know it dear Marjorie
your soul must look like the inside of a
vinegar bottle hi Jove it's a good idea
I wish I had thought of it yourself
what's that killing off her family it
must be some poor soul that had the
misfortune to dine with us when we were
all together I think you're right
someone who dined with you 13 years ago.
Oh.
You mean the night that John read that
stupid will and then died
well mercy don't over me I didn't kill
him
no one killed him as far as we know does
anyone here know the present whereabouts
of wayne seymour the last time I saw him
I got an impression that he was going to
spend the rest of his days at number 9
Yokohama I see you know your Yokohama
mr. Winston I've traveled a bit with the
exception of Wayne Seymour you people
were the only guests at that dinner who
are still alive
well we're dead from the neck up speak
to yourself John I'll speak if you don't
mind go ahead but a few snappy jokes
injected here and there would make a
world of difference you see we're
accustomed to public speaking I'm afraid
this isn't a joking matter it looks as
if someone is determined to kill every
person who attended that dinner 13 years
ago they've already killed two people
too
yes a girl mistaken for Miss Morgan and
John Barksdale Boxtel murdered
very much so and in both cases the
bodies were found in the chairs occupied
by that person at the dinner and as.
Captain Ryan so elegantly describes it
the murderer intends to line the table
with stiffs
how vulgar well thank goodness I was
under the table most of the time yes
pinching me oh I was a cute youngster
always full of fun
someday I'll look at your baby pictures
but just now we're discussing murder
which automatically makes one think of
the Margaery
speak for yourself John shall we go on
with this or just turn it into a family
reunion well why not have a blind
protest couldn't matter which one you
picked we'd all cut each other's throats
for a dime why a dime
I cut yours for fun
give me police headquarters detective
bureau captain Brown's office well it
isn't every day you get a chance to see
a mastermind at work.
Oh who's this speaking oh well this is.
Winston send the wagon to my apartment
and issue for John Doe and three Jane
Doe warrants material witnesses in the
Morgan case right I've got them here
really you're quite amusing mr. Winston
thank you
you'll like the matron in the city jail
too
she's one of the Philadelphia Smith
perhaps by this time you're beginning to
see that I mean business now then you
want to stop trying to be clever or do
you want to spend the night in jail do
the men have separate boards from the
women I think you settled it then young
lady night in jail may make you people
see that murder isn't amusing this is an
outrage it's always murder
oh you can't do this wait and see I
break you for this the governor is a
personal friend of mine and of mine and
I happen to know that he's a little
funny when it comes to murder he doesn't
like it don't be a lot of fools he
doesn't intend ascenders syc good
evening sergeant de vivir sir have you
the warrants desert yes yes all signed
and in order all right take these people
down and lock them up yes sir all right
step lively I demand to see my lawyer
miss Morgan saw her lawyer today and I
don't think she enjoyed it you'll be
sorry for this
good night when a deer
winces good night my dear and the
sweet dream.
[Applause]
Turn
[Applause]
Oh come on down Derry we've got another
corpse that what what what the family's
all locked up
yeah sure you're a smart guy
I don't know I'm over it
you're coming down okay get me the
police station Oh give me the desk
sergeant the City Jail yeah hello this
is Winston private investigator on the
Morgan case I sent down seven of the
upper crust for you will you send
somebody in and see if they're all there
yes hey Mike take a look at the 400 and
see if they're all there okay sergeant
don't touch her magic hey what's the
matter what
what
she says you remind her of her mother.
[Laughter]
Yes I know you're gonna write a letter
to the Commissioner say what are you
trying to do rip me Jimmy no say if you
guys don't tell me up there's gonna be a
murder
well that's what we're here for two
murders he did them what hey pipe down
yeah hide among oh go read your ticker I
want to know what Steel's doing all
there sergeant
okay all I mr. Winston okay thanks oh
wait a minute
turn them all loose but I put a man on
each one of them now I'll be responsible
why runs over here men don't know place
at all I've scoured the whole house now
the only answer is there must be a
closet or a room somewhere that we don't
know anything about I don't want to know
anything about it all right bill
make it snappy cut it right there
what do you make of that huh I wonder
steal great guns nothing rubber about
that come on let's get out of here
I've seen sights
but that one rather a neat way of doing
it though huh
they don't think it's neat fiendish is
the devil do you realize that the
murderer left that switch all not
carrying who got killed and while he's
asleep in the county jail he commits
another murder but he wasn't here to
turn off the switch and bring the body
in here I think that cinches it but
which one well you saw him which is the
most likely well the odds are about even
there's a cousin Marjorie who'd commit
murder just for the fun of it and her
mother to kill anything that stood in
her way but I think it stands between
the two uncles Addams is a smooth and
old devil as I've ever seen but.
Thornton's deep you know the big
businessman would stop at nothing what
about the brother and his boyfriend well
I think they're all right Jensen's in
love with the girl and her brother seems
genuinely fond of her what's the girl's
story oh she said someone shot her in
the dark she ran upstairs and hid and by
the way she heard that same cry that
grump heard and according to her it
wasn't particularly pleasant just the
same I'd like to hear it then what else
did she do besides steal my car well she
said she came back down was about to be
towed out the front door when she heard
a car and motorcycle driver said by that
time she didn't know where to turn and
when she came in here and saw her double
sitting cold and stiff at the table she
did go nuts got scared of the police as
well as the rest hidden the cellar and
then stole the car she hid out all the
next day thought better of it and was on
her way to the station when they picked
her up it's logical Barksdale asked her
out here yes and what they were all
after I think was a snip of paper that
she'd got that day at the bank
which doesn't make much sense of course
unless it's a safe combination what was
it 13131313 I'd like to get old man
Morgan alone for about 10 minutes I'd
teach the old Buzzard how to write a
will
well we get the family down here and try
and sweat it out of them actually put a
close watch on them and see who comes
down here oh I'm in favor of the last
now our friend may get curious and come
down to see if he's had another killing
then we keep this last one quiet huh
that's right I've got a hunch it's the
missing uncle look I'm gonna call miss
Morgan call a car or two with you I'm
kind of ashamed Ripper cuz I've bothered
him so much lately thank you well this
is the kind of serious I'm gonna get I'm
gonna get killed every day hello there's
a good apartment how'd you like our city
jail listen child I want you to destroy
that strip of paper at once and don't
tell anyone what was written on it not
even your brother but
no one's accusing your brother they
listen don't you get too smart you know
there's a distinct prejudice in the
police department against little girls
who go around stealing police cards
oh ho you're not well 21 is a mere drop
in the bucket
what say will you shut up and let me
talk now listen don't tell anyone those
numbers and if anyone tries to get them
out of you let me know immediately will
you do that like a sweet little girl
that was a great win yeah what did he
want he told me not to tell anybody the
numbers on that slip of paper 131313
[Laughter]
We're gonna say don't tell him I told
you
shame on you looking at those things ah
why don't you have luncheon with me
it'll be more comfortable than standing
out here
how'd you know how to fall on you have
you ever been to the zoo sure did you
see the elephant yeah well that's how I
know.
Fred you're not very bright but you may
come in handy I'm about to go calling
would you like to come along
I gotta go wherever you go is that a
theme song or just your plain way of
saying things
oh well I you would better ride with me
no I'm getting a pain in the neck from
looking back at you mug
of course just looking at you may give
me a pain in the neck
get in
okay stay there until you relieved that
was bet late detail to watch Adams he
says that hasn't met the house all day
but something just came up in a
limousine with grump grump
he's telling the Thornton girl tailing
her he's riding in the limousine withers
I give a hundred bucks to see that come
in there's a dr. Sherwood outside so he
has some information on the Morgan case
dr. Sherwood yes sir
send him in I hope he's our man okay
captain Brown how do you do
won't you sit down yeah thank you I hope
you're a plastic surgeon I see you're
ahead of me I am as a matter of fact and
I operated on the young lady who was
killed
I only saw your notice in the paper this
morning yeah well we didn't know until
last night the wrong girl had been
killed but when did you operate on her
several months ago three as a matter of
fact she and her brother came to warrant
well she said he was her brother what
name did they give Morgan Morgan may I
take dr. Sherwood over to mrs. Morgan's
apartment okay you could identify either
brother couldn't you well certainly he
came to me twice fine let's go well
goodbye captain Brown
goodbye doctor and thank you thank you
hello tell me about this that's your man
no say why aren't you down at the old
house well hi rather tired of being
there so much you a picture of your
friend Jenson around yes I think so
but look here mr. Winston Murray's gone
down to the old house to meet you
what can you call her well no you didn't
call no I tell you what's it all about
I just got in she left this
was it though well I get picture of.
Jetson short to the back wait please
it'll operate it get me done with some 9
68 hurry
that's the one or even that call
hello
hello oh yeah listen child don't get in
the panic but get out of the house as
quick as you can
is there an officer guarding it yeah man
when I told him you sister infants
didn't you call me
now don't get in a penny just get the
officer to drive you to the Douglas and
police station and wait for me there
now beat it where's Miss Morgan hasn't
she been here
no no one's been here you come with me I
may need you do it
see ya tell Ryan appeal it over to the
Morgan house as soon as he gets here yes
sir
isn't she dad no
you'll come around all right come on
what you doing my sister yeah I don't
know come on get up.
Nolan are you done with Miss Morgan come
on I'll make it snappy
miss Morgan I don't know where is he
just a swell species of skunk sounds
more tummy what are you done with her
I tell you I did you call her and tell
her to meet me here no I swear I didn't
we know all about sure wouldn't the
other girls so you may as well tell us
the rest who was in on this with you.
Barksdale so you killed her and then
backed out so you wouldn't have to split
that no I don't know who killed him I
swear it pick up that phone no no why
not
because that's the way Lila got it
you were there that night and you kill
her no I saw her after after shooting it
miss Morgan no no I didn't
oh you're a liar go on take him down
we'll lock him up but Phil I tell you
Ryan it doesn't make good sense why go
to all the trouble to impersonate
someone and then kill the impersonator.
Jensen tried to kill miss Morgan but
somebody else killed the girl thinking
it was miss Morgan Jensen knew the
difference there have been two different
factions working in this against each
other when it
but where's exactly get an axe break
that wall in and son you'd better go on
back to the station why because I don't
think your sister is going to be alive
when we find it
[Applause]
Got a patent on that little electrical
device of yours Adams no I'm sorry to
say I hadn't well I wouldn't worry about
it if I were you
the state's got something that works
along the same lines and we're going to
give you an exclusive demonstration take
him out into that safety deposit box
sure what did you find only a million
dollars of securities for her a million
how disgusting I hope it is in u.s.
steel don't worry if it isn't I left the
securities there of course but this
letter was on top and I thought you'd
want it thank you.
- Murray the thirteenth guess I can
imagine that I was it all the time.
I.
The poor lamb
reading aloud y-yes
my dear child I'm making a rather
melodramatic attempt to protect your
fortune but if I am right about the
other members of the family it is almost
certain to reveal them to you in their
true light so that you will not make the
same mistake I made when I married into
it.
Bless you my dear and may they have
killed each other off by the time you
receive this your father
it's said but it's also darn good advice
what they're not to marry into a screwy
family.
[Laughter]
Tell me where you've been well first I
went
when he had told me to tailor
[Applause]
[Applause]
Hello hello Phil this is Ryan listen
I've got another swell I'm not
interested.
[Applause]
When you hear the tone of the gong it
will be exactly twelve o'clock and six
split seconds
hello ring stuyvesant 9600 and keep
ringing it and when you've done that
well well ring it some more.
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
You sure about the address mister yes
this is the place you'll be sure to wait
for me now won't you sure
come on
it's funny
number please
or I'm the 122 Old Mill Road the tower
has been occupied for 13 years and yet
there's a telephone in it can you tell
me who had it installed I wouldn't have
that information madam I could connect
you with an ID supervisor but you'd have
to wait until the business office opens
in the morning I'm sorry
all the modern improvements
I'm gonna clean the place up a bit
oh yes of course
dad's up there.
I sat next to him
mr. Barksdale sat next to me aunt
Lucille Uncle John
Harold
mother
for.
Marjorie
uncle dick and Joan
uncle Wayne
mr. Barksdale
mr. Bartel is that you
mr. Barksdale mr. Barksdale
[Music]
Police station captain Ryan speaking
yeah the old Morgan place he says he
drove a youngster out there about 30
minutes ago
hold the driver I'll be right over okay
wake up your dumb ass and let home get
going before we go hold up get on a
macro alright
and they divert some nine 600 you can go
leave your address but wants you later
yes
what well keep ringing them hello hello.
Phil this is Ryan listen we've got a
swell case down here I'm not interested
give me Stuyvesant 9600 when you hear
the tone of the gong it will be exactly
12 o'clock and 63 seconds ring that
number again hello hello you say what's
the idea putting that Dame on the phone
I know what time it is what time is it
shut up no no no I I don't mean you
don't hang up
I want you get over here right away
there's been a murder I know but this is
a good murder
listen 13 years ago a guy invited all
his relatives to dinner the SAP deserved
to die
well arrest the mother-in-law and don't
bother me anymore oh all right but make
it snappy
all right there was 12 people there the
table was set for 13 the 13th guests
never got there that was 13 years ago
and now tonight we find a dame murdered
and she's sitting at the table in the
13th chair huh I counted them she was
sitting in the thirteenth chair you dumb
flatfoot who told you where to start
counting well go back and count the
girl's chair first and let me know how
you come out and give my love to Aunt
Sarah
bring that number again and keep ringing
it and then tell the night supervisor I
want to know had a couple of phones
installed at 1:22 Old Mill Road if you
happen to get the whole Bell family out
of bed.
I am a Winston the private investigator
captain Ryan sent for me yes sir go
right in and have fun huh call up
headquarters and tell Clarence I'm
sending those prints yes Oh what's a
number central fuck you dumb idiot don't
even know that get out and look it up so
just let me know you're good yes we got
a 12 murder here good and the number you
want is central firepower well you
certainly took your time
I was busy yeah sure when you hear the
gong the time will be twelve o'clock and
six split seconds yeah have a look at
this and then I've introduced you to the
lady this house has been unoccupied for
thirteen years yet the phone's installed
and the electricity turned on I'm
tracing that those books are on the
floor
that's all in here now come on and have
a look at the banquet
the kids you're home still a little like
same old joke the habit day off I think
up a new one you can have her now God
just a minute I want Winston to have a
look.
Oh would you take care of that Jerri
please okay so bad pretty girl you
wouldn't notice that sitting up yeah
okay dot
say how did you know about that dinner
party 13 years ago Oh every man the dog
knows that story around here.
Morgan's senior drop dead just Apple
they all sat down to the table the old
lady she was young man must have been a
little bit cracked herself she wouldn't
allow a thing to be touched just closed
up the house and moved up and that step
and all these guys have been waiting for
the dinner ever since mom give me the
willies every time I think of it well
don't think then you know who the girl
is.
Sure daughter Marie Morgan had her whole
life's history in her handbag but no
address the driver that brought her out
here said he picked her up on the corner
of 59th and Park Department house no on
the corner we've been checking up on the
apartment I was around there now how was
she killed
hang widely here the doc hasn't said for
sure yet but it looks like she was
electrocuted electrocuted
now I thought of that too not a wire on
it that was it electricity enough to
kill her but not to burn the body I
wonder where she got it
hey that lect in the living room I'll
get it well what about that light in the
living room hey Don I tried to open
every socket in the room that don't work
oh maybe the Globes burned out never
charged with that okay anyway I don't
think I'd go around trying light sockets
if I were you
why didn't it occur to you that a young
lady was electrocuted here tonight and
that she might have been trying light
sockets
hello operator see if it and trace that
call and ring me back make it snappy yes
darling there's been a murder you've
read all about it from the morning
papers she listened in on all the other
calls why the devil didn't she listening
on that one what was it I don't know I
just heard the receiver going up after I
answered hello
captain Ryan speaking sound Hotel thank
you sister.
Oh beat it over the sound hotel and see
if we can trace that call get a list of
all the guests and all the telephone
calls after midnight and don't Muppet
and don't go to sleep oh well how am I
going to get there you can drive a car
can't you sweetheart take mine and feed
it yes oh that guy's uncle don't die
soon I'll be a nervous wreck who's the
uncle just a big boss in the city that's
all
oh-ho so that's why he's on the force
you don't suppose because you got any
brains what's the matter now well
obvious what are you laughing at nothing
I just think it's funny
I'm glad you invited me down.
I'm invited
yeah okay sit down I'll see you in a few
minutes
do they identify the body yes sir
there's one of you as the brother I am
friend of yours yes and of my sister
all right boys I won't keep you long
either of you know a man named Barksdale
yes
we both do he was my father's lawyer is
he still handling the estate yes why
we'll ask the questions if you don't
mind son wasn't your father's well a
little unusual it was quite unusual he
provided for my mother for Marie and me
left the bulk of the estate to the 13th
guest who was that we don't know the
13th guests never arrived
screwie anything else about this guest
no accepted we always supposed that he'd
come forward and be named when we became
of age or what'll that be well why do
you suppose that might have had
something to do with it.
Marie was 21 yesterday what yes Boxtel
call it the other day and told you I'm
not interested in that
well I am all right be interested wait a
minute where you going out I'll see you
later hey but
I suppose you were at that dinner part
of your poly game yeah how'd your
sisters hit that night right beside my
father she always had that which side
one is right
will you draw me a diagram with that
table name the people in the seating
arrangement and if any of them have died
since make a note of it have you kept in
touch with the family when we couldn't
avoid it well put down their addresses
and leave it with a captain here Thanks
do you remember how we set that night
yes I think so
were you there well I was visiting there
we were just kids then but it isn't easy
to forget a thing like that dinner party
I suppose not
I've got a hunch I'll be thinking about
it for some time myself well let's hear
about that phone call from Barksdale and
I'll let you go well there there isn't
much to it except that Barksdale called
her a few days ago and gave us an
instructions something she was supposed
to do on a 21st birthday and you don't
remember what they were I know she
wouldn't tell me and we're supposed to
find the answer does anybody know
anything what's the matter with the old
man besides being nuts are you sure this
dinner wasn't held in an insane asylum
what try and calm down take these voices
of the next office and give him some
paper and pencils and send Carter a yes
you boys better stick around we might
want you
that's too bad son take care of yourself
what do you mean nothing much you mean
they might go after me
all right no I don't think I'd care if
they did well we would the cost the
department a lot of dough to investigate
a murder well in that case I'll be
careful.
Thanks
you've been very considerate today
that's all right son
well what do you think I can't think I'm
numb why the devil does a man have to go
through all that hocus-pocus just to
leave a will it burns me up well stop
burning Carl may happy yeah hey cutter
let's see what you got
yes sir here the deposit slips in the
telephones lights parted but ones on.
Barksdale Barksdale so that's where
you've got of that yeah feel better now
I'm safe
wait'll I lay my hands on this guy also
a man answering to Barksdale description
registered at the sound hotel last night
about 9:30 under the name of Perry and
at 122 put in a call to Douglas and nine
six eight then checked out of his hotel
immediately after he hasn't been home
since sandy has been shown up these are
bitchin and these folks were getting to
worry now isn't that killed bad
tell them they can see him on visitors
day let's go the pod research I managed
to dig this up out of them The Daily.
Herald files
what's Butterfield 12
let's send it out at once okay put a
couple of the boys on those two kids in
there they may be alright and again they
may not yes sir anything else releasing
no but stick around
calling all cars calling all cars
stand by for description of one John.
Barksdale wanted for questioning on the.
Morgan murder case last seen on Long.
Island driving a Packard touring license
unknown description fifty years six feet
grey hair eyes brown that is all
[Applause]
[Music]
Hello
hello
ah.
I don't care you call me all the name
here warden I brought out on names to
call you
I don't care mr. Whitson if you to hurt
it good what does it sound like room
like harsh fire and the devil and a
couple of a nice throat in that could
you give me an idea of what it sounded
like kinda retarded kind of up like it's
kind of like it perhaps if you tried it
again bro yeah well don't you know
they're being rugby shut up
I was only trying shot up get out
that
so who put all them books there so what
I did you go to sleep today I don't
think so
you don't think so get out of my sight
before I kill you yeah
hey so Clint
you come here where are you
is he dead
it's Barksdale can you beat that certain
house upstairs and down yes sir nothing
that'll do much good well what's the
answer it's got me worried plenty me too
but I'm beginning to be glad that I
wasn't invited to that dinner party
years ago yeah here's the diagram young
Morgan true today take a look at the
seating arrangement first we find the
girl's body in the chair that she sat in
that night and now this are you
beginning to get the idea
gee yes ye gods Phil are they gonna
blind this table with stiffs that's the
way it looks
unless we do something but but that's
crazy it very nearly confirms one thing
though the person doing it was at the
table that night
I've gotta talk
[Applause]
No
how'd you get out of the market I
haven't been in any more
take your hands off me be nice I won't
let me alone
do you want me to spank you hold still
that's a good little girl what's your
name Marie Morgan yes what did you say I
asked this child here if she would Marie
Morgan I know child will you shut up and
she said yes and she said yes I don't
know maybe it's something I hate this is
the nightmare where did you pick her up
riding around in your car in market I
was on my way to the police station yes
and baby you're still on your way to the
police station take it out and lock her
up I've got some things I want to ask
her about you can't arrest me Oh can't I
that's what they all say
maybe it's all a mistake and maybe you
can explain everything out but you won't
say a word until you see your lawyer
well I won't all right baby come and see
your lawyer talk to a good look
marjory that's right you know anything
about it no what can this mean that's
what we're gonna find out take our luck
in the library did we get through here
what she headed for police station she
was going in that direction
call up city headquarters and report
this call a coroner and stick around
outside yes sir no why did you ask that
girl if she was Marie Morgan I think she
is what about the other Dame there are
no twins no but the other girl had
several small scars around her face
didn't you notice them yes but I didn't
think anything about it well I did
I thought she'd had her face lifted well
what a blasted idiot I have been that's
why you were so surprised when her
brother told you she was 21
certainly no kid that age is going to
have her face lifted and you beat it
back to the morgue to have another look
right and took a good plastic surgeon
with me she hadn't had her face lifted
she'd had it completely made over well
I'll be now that commenced to make sense.
Barksdale made an appointment with the
real Marie Morgan to meet him here they
planned to kill her and stuff she took
the other girl who planned to kill her
huh Barksdale made the appointment yes
but if Barksdale was in on it but she
may have been who killed the gentlemen
on your right
little bo-peep
operating
I wouldn't do that if I were you
police might not like it I was only
trying to call my brother we'll call him
later you're going to take a ride with
me where to my apartment she'd be safer
in jail don't worry she won't get away I
didn't mean that I said she'd be safer
in jail and humane go to the devil
mr. Adams two bits in why my dear child
why I'm almost afraid to touch you what
is the meaning of all this why I'll have
to send back that cutaway I ordered for
your funeral you wear those to wedding
is not funerals
this is uncle Adams the worst old
reprobate who ever lived my dear you're
covering quite a lot of territory how do
you do mr. Winston I'm delighted how do
you do if you give him a drink guy think
he make you still one of the beat scotch
and Soda Springs and thanks easy on the
soda.
[Applause]
Hey if you want my opinion it's uncle
Adams who's been committing all the
murders all the murders mr. Barksdale
was murdered today in the old house.
Boxster my word whatever you understand
but but murders
what's the meaning of it mr. Winston
you're investigating the case I suppose
unofficially I'm a friend of Captain.
Ryan yes yes of course I've heard of you
well have you any accused don't you
cover many ideas no but he has a laugh
for you really well let's have it
you're next what according to mr.
Winston's theory you're next on the list
unless of course you've been doing the
murders yourself you've always had the
most acute sense of humor must be some
more of the family I'm doing the
resurrection egg and enjoying a fairy if
I know your you certainly startled me
if you explain your reasons well for
heaven's sake I thought you were dead
disappointed well why be a hypocrite you
know I've always hated your module if
you say that word again out it's only
what our laws
is this for private use only I suppose
your Winston at your service
I may take you up on that if this is
another one of your jokes Murray I must
say it's in bad taste
I've been simply frustrated all day I'll
bet you have bridge always tires mother
Marjorie they tried to kill me are you
glad I'm alive am I glad I think you are
but what does it mean since they made us
get down to look at that that other girl
was you did you cry well to tell you the
truth money week we both went home we've
got potted
that's just as good mr. Winston has a
whole family here he says one of them is
the murderer I'm getting odds on uncle.
Adams Adams he's too lazy to commit a
murder
but tell me darling what happened to you
oh well here we are just one big happy
family
oh hello Thor who was that blonde I saw
you with the other night there was no
blonde and you know it dear Marjorie
your soul must look like the inside of a
vinegar bottle hi Jove it's a good idea
I wish I had thought of it yourself
what's that killing off her family it
must be some poor soul that had the
misfortune to dine with us when we were
all together I think you're right
someone who dined with you 13 years ago.
Oh.
You mean the night that John read that
stupid will and then died
well mercy don't over me I didn't kill
him
no one killed him as far as we know does
anyone here know the present whereabouts
of wayne seymour the last time I saw him
I got an impression that he was going to
spend the rest of his days at number 9
Yokohama I see you know your Yokohama
mr. Winston I've traveled a bit with the
exception of Wayne Seymour you people
were the only guests at that dinner who
are still alive
well we're dead from the neck up speak
to yourself John I'll speak if you don't
mind go ahead but a few snappy jokes
injected here and there would make a
world of difference you see we're
accustomed to public speaking I'm afraid
this isn't a joking matter it looks as
if someone is determined to kill every
person who attended that dinner 13 years
ago they've already killed two people
too
yes a girl mistaken for Miss Morgan and
John Barksdale Boxtel murdered
very much so and in both cases the
bodies were found in the chairs occupied
by that person at the dinner and as.
Captain Ryan so elegantly describes it
the murderer intends to line the table
with stiffs
how vulgar well thank goodness I was
under the table most of the time yes
pinching me oh I was a cute youngster
always full of fun
someday I'll look at your baby pictures
but just now we're discussing murder
which automatically makes one think of
the Margaery
speak for yourself John shall we go on
with this or just turn it into a family
reunion well why not have a blind
protest couldn't matter which one you
picked we'd all cut each other's throats
for a dime why a dime
I cut yours for fun
give me police headquarters detective
bureau captain Brown's office well it
isn't every day you get a chance to see
a mastermind at work.
Oh who's this speaking oh well this is.
Winston send the wagon to my apartment
and issue for John Doe and three Jane
Doe warrants material witnesses in the
Morgan case right I've got them here
really you're quite amusing mr. Winston
thank you
you'll like the matron in the city jail
too
she's one of the Philadelphia Smith
perhaps by this time you're beginning to
see that I mean business now then you
want to stop trying to be clever or do
you want to spend the night in jail do
the men have separate boards from the
women I think you settled it then young
lady night in jail may make you people
see that murder isn't amusing this is an
outrage it's always murder
oh you can't do this wait and see I
break you for this the governor is a
personal friend of mine and of mine and
I happen to know that he's a little
funny when it comes to murder he doesn't
like it don't be a lot of fools he
doesn't intend ascenders syc good
evening sergeant de vivir sir have you
the warrants desert yes yes all signed
and in order all right take these people
down and lock them up yes sir all right
step lively I demand to see my lawyer
miss Morgan saw her lawyer today and I
don't think she enjoyed it you'll be
sorry for this
good night when a deer
winces good night my dear and the
sweet dream.
[Applause]
Turn
[Applause]
Oh come on down Derry we've got another
corpse that what what what the family's
all locked up
yeah sure you're a smart guy
I don't know I'm over it
you're coming down okay get me the
police station Oh give me the desk
sergeant the City Jail yeah hello this
is Winston private investigator on the
Morgan case I sent down seven of the
upper crust for you will you send
somebody in and see if they're all there
yes hey Mike take a look at the 400 and
see if they're all there okay sergeant
don't touch her magic hey what's the
matter what
what
she says you remind her of her mother.
[Laughter]
Yes I know you're gonna write a letter
to the Commissioner say what are you
trying to do rip me Jimmy no say if you
guys don't tell me up there's gonna be a
murder
well that's what we're here for two
murders he did them what hey pipe down
yeah hide among oh go read your ticker I
want to know what Steel's doing all
there sergeant
okay all I mr. Winston okay thanks oh
wait a minute
turn them all loose but I put a man on
each one of them now I'll be responsible
why runs over here men don't know place
at all I've scoured the whole house now
the only answer is there must be a
closet or a room somewhere that we don't
know anything about I don't want to know
anything about it all right bill
make it snappy cut it right there
what do you make of that huh I wonder
steal great guns nothing rubber about
that come on let's get out of here
I've seen sights
but that one rather a neat way of doing
it though huh
they don't think it's neat fiendish is
the devil do you realize that the
murderer left that switch all not
carrying who got killed and while he's
asleep in the county jail he commits
another murder but he wasn't here to
turn off the switch and bring the body
in here I think that cinches it but
which one well you saw him which is the
most likely well the odds are about even
there's a cousin Marjorie who'd commit
murder just for the fun of it and her
mother to kill anything that stood in
her way but I think it stands between
the two uncles Addams is a smooth and
old devil as I've ever seen but.
Thornton's deep you know the big
businessman would stop at nothing what
about the brother and his boyfriend well
I think they're all right Jensen's in
love with the girl and her brother seems
genuinely fond of her what's the girl's
story oh she said someone shot her in
the dark she ran upstairs and hid and by
the way she heard that same cry that
grump heard and according to her it
wasn't particularly pleasant just the
same I'd like to hear it then what else
did she do besides steal my car well she
said she came back down was about to be
towed out the front door when she heard
a car and motorcycle driver said by that
time she didn't know where to turn and
when she came in here and saw her double
sitting cold and stiff at the table she
did go nuts got scared of the police as
well as the rest hidden the cellar and
then stole the car she hid out all the
next day thought better of it and was on
her way to the station when they picked
her up it's logical Barksdale asked her
out here yes and what they were all
after I think was a snip of paper that
she'd got that day at the bank
which doesn't make much sense of course
unless it's a safe combination what was
it 13131313 I'd like to get old man
Morgan alone for about 10 minutes I'd
teach the old Buzzard how to write a
will
well we get the family down here and try
and sweat it out of them actually put a
close watch on them and see who comes
down here oh I'm in favor of the last
now our friend may get curious and come
down to see if he's had another killing
then we keep this last one quiet huh
that's right I've got a hunch it's the
missing uncle look I'm gonna call miss
Morgan call a car or two with you I'm
kind of ashamed Ripper cuz I've bothered
him so much lately thank you well this
is the kind of serious I'm gonna get I'm
gonna get killed every day hello there's
a good apartment how'd you like our city
jail listen child I want you to destroy
that strip of paper at once and don't
tell anyone what was written on it not
even your brother but
no one's accusing your brother they
listen don't you get too smart you know
there's a distinct prejudice in the
police department against little girls
who go around stealing police cards
oh ho you're not well 21 is a mere drop
in the bucket
what say will you shut up and let me
talk now listen don't tell anyone those
numbers and if anyone tries to get them
out of you let me know immediately will
you do that like a sweet little girl
that was a great win yeah what did he
want he told me not to tell anybody the
numbers on that slip of paper 131313
[Laughter]
We're gonna say don't tell him I told
you
shame on you looking at those things ah
why don't you have luncheon with me
it'll be more comfortable than standing
out here
how'd you know how to fall on you have
you ever been to the zoo sure did you
see the elephant yeah well that's how I
know.
Fred you're not very bright but you may
come in handy I'm about to go calling
would you like to come along
I gotta go wherever you go is that a
theme song or just your plain way of
saying things
oh well I you would better ride with me
no I'm getting a pain in the neck from
looking back at you mug
of course just looking at you may give
me a pain in the neck
get in
okay stay there until you relieved that
was bet late detail to watch Adams he
says that hasn't met the house all day
but something just came up in a
limousine with grump grump
he's telling the Thornton girl tailing
her he's riding in the limousine withers
I give a hundred bucks to see that come
in there's a dr. Sherwood outside so he
has some information on the Morgan case
dr. Sherwood yes sir
send him in I hope he's our man okay
captain Brown how do you do
won't you sit down yeah thank you I hope
you're a plastic surgeon I see you're
ahead of me I am as a matter of fact and
I operated on the young lady who was
killed
I only saw your notice in the paper this
morning yeah well we didn't know until
last night the wrong girl had been
killed but when did you operate on her
several months ago three as a matter of
fact she and her brother came to warrant
well she said he was her brother what
name did they give Morgan Morgan may I
take dr. Sherwood over to mrs. Morgan's
apartment okay you could identify either
brother couldn't you well certainly he
came to me twice fine let's go well
goodbye captain Brown
goodbye doctor and thank you thank you
hello tell me about this that's your man
no say why aren't you down at the old
house well hi rather tired of being
there so much you a picture of your
friend Jenson around yes I think so
but look here mr. Winston Murray's gone
down to the old house to meet you
what can you call her well no you didn't
call no I tell you what's it all about
I just got in she left this
was it though well I get picture of.
Jetson short to the back wait please
it'll operate it get me done with some 9
68 hurry
that's the one or even that call
hello
hello oh yeah listen child don't get in
the panic but get out of the house as
quick as you can
is there an officer guarding it yeah man
when I told him you sister infants
didn't you call me
now don't get in a penny just get the
officer to drive you to the Douglas and
police station and wait for me there
now beat it where's Miss Morgan hasn't
she been here
no no one's been here you come with me I
may need you do it
see ya tell Ryan appeal it over to the
Morgan house as soon as he gets here yes
sir
isn't she dad no
you'll come around all right come on
what you doing my sister yeah I don't
know come on get up.
Nolan are you done with Miss Morgan come
on I'll make it snappy
miss Morgan I don't know where is he
just a swell species of skunk sounds
more tummy what are you done with her
I tell you I did you call her and tell
her to meet me here no I swear I didn't
we know all about sure wouldn't the
other girls so you may as well tell us
the rest who was in on this with you.
Barksdale so you killed her and then
backed out so you wouldn't have to split
that no I don't know who killed him I
swear it pick up that phone no no why
not
because that's the way Lila got it
you were there that night and you kill
her no I saw her after after shooting it
miss Morgan no no I didn't
oh you're a liar go on take him down
we'll lock him up but Phil I tell you
Ryan it doesn't make good sense why go
to all the trouble to impersonate
someone and then kill the impersonator.
Jensen tried to kill miss Morgan but
somebody else killed the girl thinking
it was miss Morgan Jensen knew the
difference there have been two different
factions working in this against each
other when it
but where's exactly get an axe break
that wall in and son you'd better go on
back to the station why because I don't
think your sister is going to be alive
when we find it
[Applause]
Got a patent on that little electrical
device of yours Adams no I'm sorry to
say I hadn't well I wouldn't worry about
it if I were you
the state's got something that works
along the same lines and we're going to
give you an exclusive demonstration take
him out into that safety deposit box
sure what did you find only a million
dollars of securities for her a million
how disgusting I hope it is in u.s.
steel don't worry if it isn't I left the
securities there of course but this
letter was on top and I thought you'd
want it thank you.
- Murray the thirteenth guess I can
imagine that I was it all the time.
I.
The poor lamb
reading aloud y-yes
my dear child I'm making a rather
melodramatic attempt to protect your
fortune but if I am right about the
other members of the family it is almost
certain to reveal them to you in their
true light so that you will not make the
same mistake I made when I married into
it.
Bless you my dear and may they have
killed each other off by the time you
receive this your father
it's said but it's also darn good advice
what they're not to marry into a screwy
family.
[Laughter]
Tell me where you've been well first I
went
when he had told me to tailor
[Applause]
[Applause]
Hello hello Phil this is Ryan listen
I've got another swell I'm not
interested.
[Applause]
When you hear the tone of the gong it
will be exactly twelve o'clock and six
split seconds
hello ring stuyvesant 9600 and keep
ringing it and when you've done that
well well ring it some more.
[Applause]
[Music]