The Virgin Soldiers (1969) Movie Script

Go on, Briggsy!
She won't bite.
You're on your own, Briggsy.
Fifteen dollars.
And I'll want the lot, you know.
Okay, Johnny,
you give me fifteen dollars,
you get nice filthy time.
Hey, look, um...
I mean, you won't take it
personally, will you?
If... well, look, I... I... I...,
to be straight with you,
- I've got to get back.
- You think I'm not too clean.
I very clean.
I cleanest girl you find in Singapore.
What you want,
certificate from doctor?
Johnny, you not like nice things?
You not like things we do in taxi?
Some other time, love.
Get some char in!
I'd watch that Bongo
who's on guard if I were you.
Trigger happy, some of them.
There's nothing I hate more
than cold sweat in your boots.
Makes you feel as though you're dead.
Warm it up, then.
- It has been announced...
- Get some tea.
by Sir Herbert Morrison that the
Battersea Pleasure Gardens
connected with the
Festival of Britain,
which will be opened by
His Majesty the King
on the South Bank next week,
- will cost twice as much as expected,
- And get some in!
and will not be open
until one month...
The White House
today confirmed again
that in relieving
General Douglas MacArthur
of his position as
United Nations Command,
and Supreme Commander,
Allied Forces in Japan,
no reflection on his
military ability was intended.
The White House spokesman
referred once more
to President Truman's statement,
in which he outlined...
When they got me
for National Service, it was 1951.
I was a clerk in Kilburn.
They sent me to Singapore,
and I thought I'd had it.
I'd be in action over the
causeway to Malaya in no time.
That's where the real jungle begins.
Communist bandits had been keeping
a whole bloody British Army busy there,
ever since the war finished.
But they don't do that to clerks,
so I stayed where I was.
There was only one kind of action
I was interested in,
and there wasn't much chance of that.
I didn't fancy the locals much.
They practically had a barbed wire
fence round the married quarters.
So I reckoned the only action
I'd see for two years
was with pens, ledgers,
Army forms,
and the odd nutcase.
You get a lot of them
in a transit camp.
Good morning, soldiers.
Come on, let's have
your feet on deck.
Can't have the young soldiers
sleeping all day, can we?
Come on, move.
Out of those steaming pits.
Tasker, let's have a
little activity, shall we?
Come on, Cutler, get up.
Come on, get out of bed!
Awful tea this morning, Corporal.
- Shut that door, for God's sake!
- Sinclair, your train has left.
What is it?
Shut that door, for God's sake!
Wha... what's happened?
The morning has happened,
Corporal Brook.
Left, right, left, right...
Left, right, left, right,
left, right!
Swing those arms, shoulders out,
stomach in, chest out,
left, right, left, right, halt!
All present and correct, sir!
God, Daddy, don't you love it all?
The Royal Army Crap Corps.
What a bloody shambles.
Thank God we've got an Air Force.
I'd take the whole bloody outfit
and put it in the bloody sanatorium.
Would you just look at them.
Men with no fingers,
men with no toes,
deaf men, bald men,
and three nutcases.
Well, everybody knows Cutler's got
a diseased thigh and leans to his right.
So what do they do?
Why, just bloody look!
They put him slap bang
in front of Forsyth.
He's got amnesia-paresis,
some dreaded pox, and leans to his left.
Then the one,
the only Private Longley.
The only bloody hunch-front in the
world, him and his pigeon chest!
It's a carnival, not a bloody parade.
And Sinclair.
Observe Sinclair.
You'd think he was drilling,
wouldn't you?
But oh, no!
He's bloody dreaming
about railway engines.
I wouldn't mind if it was incest.
Something interesting,
something that mattered.
Stand at...!
He can't say it.
That bastard Wellbeloved
isn't gonna help him.
Corporal Brook!
That's right, at ease.
Stand easy!
Foster and Villiers
holding hands
at this time of day.
Turns my stomach.
Pink-faced little tits the lot of you,
bleating and moaning.
Good for a lad, the Army.
Makes a man of you.
Been an education in itself.
Course it'll be different
when you get back,
with your horizons broadened
and your knees brown.
Well, there's plenty of
things to do here.
Places to go, women...
Oh, that's right, lad.
There's women.
Shall I tell you something?
What's that then, Sarge?
I don't think you'd even know
where it is.
Atten... shun!
To your duties, dismiss!
Phillipa, dear.
Time you were coming down.
Time you were off to school.
Yes, Mummy, all right.
I thought I heard you
talking to someone.
Really? I wonder who it was?
Oh, it's hot, isn't it?
One of the fish, Timothy,
he's not at all well, I'm afraid.
Poor Timothy.
I think I shall ask the doctor.
Hey Fenwick, it's
your turn to get the tea, you know.
What do you mean?
I went yesterday, didn't I?
All right, all right, all right!
It's stopped raining.
All those on bayonet practice,
Private Cutler, you're on
special medical report.
Get over to the hospital right away.
If you please.
- Ninety-five to do.
- Cutler!
Well, it looks like a dose,
doesn't it?
We warn you enough about
these women downtown.
No, it's not a dose, sir.
It's just got a cold.
That's all it is, sir.
Look, Private,
we'll give it a minute
and if it hasn't sneezed by then,
we'll call it gonorrhea.
Thank you, Charles.
That's a bayonet
you've got there, sonny,
not a stick of celery!
All right, you three men, go!
Stick it in, twist it,
pull it out, right?
D-O-G, dog.
D-O-G, dog.
"...the wet shift
clung to the contours of her
"boyishly flat belly.
Her young thighs..."
I've read it!
Ah, that's your trouble.
- You what?
- You just read about it.
Look at the other night. You were
back too soon to have done anything.
Quicksilver, that's me.
Yeah, three strokes and you're there.
Yeah, well you two
can bloody well talk.
I'm saving it
for the RSM's daughter, mate.
Yeah, well I'm saving it for the RSM.
Hey, I saw her the other day,
in her window, flashing them.
I saw them, and she knew it.
Well, that Corporal in Signals
has been there, hasn't he?
Has he, hell! No-one has.
No, no, she never comes along.
Travelling gives her
headaches, you know.
And Singapore's much too far
from Basingstoke.
Pickering here.
Oh, hello, Gerald, how are you?
She'll be at the dance tonight.
Your big chance.
If I dropped her in it,
would the RSM put us on a charge?
He'd cut off your privileges.
I heard the Colonel's got
three busloads of WRACS
coming down special for the dance.
That's just their cunning
bloody rumour to get us there.
Which it will.
Now! One!
Try it again now, will you.
That's better.
And a bit more!
Now that's more like it!
One more! Come on!
- Hey, look!
- What?
Look, that's blood, isn't it?
- All the pages are stuck together.
- Let's see.
Oh, yeah.
Must have had it on him
when he got shot.
It's blood all right.
He only had three months to do.
I wonder if he ever had it in?
If you're gonna stick it in,
then stick it in hard, sonny.
- Mightn't be a sack next time, might it?
- No, Sergeant.
I was pushing these into Jap bellies
when you was playing hopscotch
in some evacuee village
in the bloody Lake District, wasn't I?
- Yes, Sergeant.
- So, stick it in!
Twist it, pull it out, right?
Come on, let's have you!
Get a move on!
This is a serious business,
Mr Raskin.
Sir, begging your pardon, sir,
but I don't think
it's particularly serious, sir.
What do you mean?
How do you know?
Not serious?
What are you talking about?
Seen the lad, sir.
It's only a slight flesh wound, sir.
Oh, that.
Oh, yes, ah, good, good.
Yes, glad to hear it.
Sensitive lad.
Don't like the young soldiers
getting themselves hurt.
Didn't join the Army to get
themselves hurt. Did they, Mr Raskin?
Very good, sir.
That's not what I meant.
Not what I was referring to.
Not at all, no.
Read it, Mr Raskin.
Out loud, man, out loud.
"Increased guerrilla activity in the
area around Buksing, on the east coast.
"Stop. It has been decided
to give static units in Singapore
"opportunity to undergo
jungle training..."
Well, read on man, read on.
"under active service conditions."
Oh, my God.
Yes, indeed, Mr Raskin.
It's serious. I don't like it.
Young fellows didn't join the Army
to do active service, did they?
Not this lot, sir.
Hey, I think I'll go to the pool.
What are you doing
up at that pool, George?
- Competition or something?
- No, I just found out.
If you keep your ear
under the water long enough,
your middle ear
gets rotted by the chlorine.
- Then you'll go deaf.
- So I'll get sent home.
You'll be deaf
for the rest of your life.
Well, I'd rather be deaf than dead.
Hurry up, Sinclair. You'll miss
the five o'clock train from Crewe.
8:35 Euston.
He won't be at the dance tonight.
He'll be down at the railway station.
Name was Oxley.
Come from Hull.
Hull City.
Good football team this year.
Not as good as Everton, mind.
I think I'll go by there now.
See if she's in the window.
She knows it,
standing there flashing them.
- Ooh, Phillipa Raskin!
- I told you, you're wasting your time.
He must have got it here.
To have got the pay-book
all wet, like.
That pay-book made me think
I'd better get a move on.
I mean, we talked about
Phillipa Raskin all the time.
She was like a bloody beacon to us.
Flashing and that.
The way she walked about
the married quarters,
and we couldn't get near her.
So, I plucked up courage, and
went to meet her out of school.
Look, I... I don't suppose
you remember me?
Yeah, I remember.
- You finished for the day, like?
- Yeah, I finished for good near enough.
Term ends tomorrow,
and then that's it.
- That's my lot.
- Oh yeah?
Yeah, I'm getting out
and never coming back.
- What, don't you like teaching and that?
- I bloody loathe it!
- Oh yeah? Funny, I'd have thought...
- What?
Look, I'm hot, and tired,
and I'm fed up.
You got something you want to say,
or you want to stand there?
Well, are you going home, then?
No, I'm bloody going
to Buckingham Palace
and have tea with King George.
Where do you think I'm going?
Look, do you fancy a walk?
- Fancy a walk?
- Yeah, you know...
Well, I'm sort of buckshee
at the moment. I thought...
Yeah, all right.
Oh, right. Yeah.
One, two, three, four, five.
Hey! Sandy! Shout at me.
Oh, not again!
I couldn't hear you.
Well, hardly, anyway.
One, two...
It can't have been
easy for her, stuck in the barracks
with a few hundred blokes
she didn't fancy sniffing around.
I suppose I was taking pity on her.
- Do you get scared?
- What?
In the jungle?
You know, does it frighten you?
- Not real, is it?
- What?
Well, the jungle. Any more than
Panglin bloody Transit Camp's real.
How do you mean?
Well, jungle, I mean, real jungle,
that's away over there, isn't it?
Across the causeway.
Like bloody Kew Gardens around here.
I keep hoping Dad'll
get posted somewhere great.
You know, America perhaps.
Do they have soldiers in
New York?
I had a mate went to Germany.
That's a bit of all right.
New York or Hollywood.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.
It's all birds in Germany.
Birds and black market.
Bloke could make himself a fortune.
You'd think... wouldn't you think
he'd be glad to get rid of us?
He can't stand the sight of me.
Never so much as talks to Mum.
You're fighting them off, you know?
The German birds.
Still and all, you can't
blame him for that.
Any leave you get,
off to Hamburg.
She doesn't listen
when you do talk to her.
Silly old cow.
- The way he tells it, once you get to...
- Doesn't have to be America. Anywhere.
Look at it.
The backside of nowhere.
Have you had a good look?
- Hey, where are you going?
- Going home.
- Hey, now, hang about.
- No, Dad'll be wondering.
Hey, look, will I
see you again, then?
Don't know. Maybe.
D'you want to?
Well, I thought...
You know, we were talking and that.
- I thought...
- Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?
That's all, then, is it?
- What did you expect?
- I don't know. I thought...
I thought, perhaps,
maybe you liked me.
Oh, God!
Hey, don't stay out too late,
you might get frightened.
That's what you are.
Do you hear me?
A right...
Stick it in,
twist it, pull it out. Right!
Stick it in, twist it,
pull it out. Right!
How's your deaf ear, George?
I can't hear you!
Hey, are one of them
WRACS from Changi
going to have the benefit
of your body tonight, then?
No quarry-faced bint's
getting a slice of me.
Oh, he's dead fussy, Tasker.
They've got to be awake.
- Hey, Lantry!
- What?
Phillipa Raskin is coming
to the dance tonight.
One of them corporals
from Intelligence told me.
What? The one with the pimples?
He says that every time, and
she hasn't been to a dance yet.
Hey, d'you know what?
That blue vein seems to be
getting much bigger.
Do you think I ought to
show it to the MO?
Well, you've shown it to everyone else,
so why miss him out?
I want them to
enjoy themselves, Charles.
The girls are being brought over, sir.
To Buksing?
No, to the dance.
Oh, the dance, yes...
Bit difficult to enjoy the dance.
Oh, I knocked, even...
but I did knock!
And came straight bloody well in.
- Now don't talk to me...
- Get out!
Stand still! Sit down!
Now what?
I did knock.
Ah, come on, love. I'm sorry.
Eh, 'tisn't often
you hear me say that.
No. What do you want
to talk about?
Now, you know very well
what I want to talk about.
- Well, I'm not coming.
- Oh yes, you are, Phillipa, my girl.
- No! Definitely not!
- The Colonel is very anxious that...
I see, the Colonel says, "Bring that
daughter of yours, Sergeant Major."
It's all "yes, sir, of course, sir,
three bags full, sir, she'll be there, sir."
What am I?
One of those WRAC whores?
- You can't force me to go to a dance.
- Oh yes, I can!
Oh yes, I can force you,
and I'm going to.
Do you know what
they're saying about you?
They say you're a bloody lesbian.
Do you understand what
I'm talking about?
- Not true.
- Well, that's what they're saying.
Well, how can they?
Well, you see, love,
that's why I want you
coming to the dance.
It's rotten.
Come on, say you'll come.
...he assured the General of his
established place in the United States...
I'm ever so sorry, Sidney.
I didn't mean to do it.
I should think not.
It's your loss putting me
working hand out of action, Patsy.
Far-reaching measures to curb
terrorist activities have been announced.
You'll be bloody shaving next.
Hey, it's on the news! Fighting!
It just said, er...
guerrilla activity round Buksing.
Hey, there's blokes out there
getting chopped regular.
Younger than us an' all.
Yeah, well, they wanted to
get some in, didn't they?
Saying things like that!
You what, Corporal?
Boys get killed out there.
Getting killed. You know.
Well, it's not my fault, is it?
I mean, it's Communism, isn't it?
You don't know
what it's about, do you?
You'd never question it.
You'd never question why you do
National Service, would you?
Don't be bloody daft.
It's the law.
Well, I mean, it's
the Government, isn't it?
It's two years!
It's not long to waste.
I mean, your apprenticeship's five.
The heat's got him.
He's got the dreaded Chinese lurgy.
Yeah, and you know what happens
when you get that?
Well, you get these
terrible great blue veins.
See you later, then.
Hey, Sinclair,
give my love to that Chinese chuffer.
Are you getting any?
I'm getting so much,
I'm thinking of taking on a lad.
Where's Sinclair?
Oh, he missed the train.
The 6:20 from Kuala Lumpur.
He'll be standing on the station
collecting bloody engine numbers.
Ooh, there's a right load of
old rubbish here tonight.
Right lads, what can I do you for?
Fred's bar is open.
Four Tigers please, Fred.
The Fred Astaire of Panglin Camp.
That's not a stick of celery
you got there,
so stick it in,
twist it, pull it out, right?
Hey up! Over there.
Ethel, my love,
there's no need to keep in step.
You're not
going on a church parade.
Good evening.
As for you, my love, just act natural.
You don't want everybody else to think
you're some kind of bloody royalty.
Or lesbian.
Watch your language!
Ah, don't take it so much to heart,
it's not that important.
It is to me.
Must dispel that rumour somehow,
mustn't we?
- What do you...
- At ease, Father.
I won't drop them in public.
Carry on.
Well, there she is. On your way.
Just walk over there casual, like.
Give her a bit of chat.
You know, something
sophisticated, like, er...
"How would you like
to come up to my billet
"and see my blue vein?"
You'll get nothing there.
- Oh, good evening, sir.
- Good evening, Charles.
- What'll you have?
- Small whisky.
- Thank you very much.
- Very good, sir.
- Evening, Mr Raskin.
- Evening, sir.
- May I take your wife away?
- My pleasure, sir.
Tonight's the night, I'm telling you.
Well, go on, ask her.
I dare you.
All right, all right. Don't rush me.
Hey Fred, a pint of Tiger
and, er, lager and lime.
Buying her a drink?
Her old man on guard, is he?
Not, mind you, that he's got
anything to worry about.
All she'll be getting tonight is
Wellbeloved's war memoirs.
How he crushed the might of
the Nippon, single-handed.
Just watch that
mouth of yours, Driscoll.
When engaging the enemy,
adopt a crouch-like position,
pivoting on the left foot,
and holding the lager and lime
firmly in the right hand.
This will strike terror
in a wog's yellow heart,
but if he should fight back,
you can always offer him the drink,
then piss off like greased lightning.
And a Tiger, right?
Hey, you know what?
I can't hear the music very well.
Lucky you.
I told you.
I told you, didn't I?
Here, cop this.
Ain't it about time
we saw you dancing?
Can I have this dance, please?
No thank you.
I'm waiting for a friend.
Would you like to dance, love?
Er, you make friends quick enough.
I didn't fancy her!
Miss Raskin,
may I have the pleasure
of this next dance?
The next dance
will be a Ladies' Invitation.
May I have the...
this dance, please?
This dance, please!
Yeah! Yeah, course.
Not with the beer, if you don't mind.
Here, cop this.
I'd like to breathe.
Do you mind?
Sorry, bit out of practice.
Trying to think of something to say.
Don't have to say anything
if you don't want to.
I mean, I don't mind.
Well, no, but I want to.
Oops! Sorry, love.
Hey, keep your mind on
your dancing. Hey hey!
You got a boyfriend?
- No. Haven't you heard?
- No.
Thought every stinking soldier
in the camp had heard.
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
I'm still not bloody Mademoiselle
from Armentires, you know.
- Who's she?
- Who's she?
Oh, forget it.
I hate these dances.
Thank you.
I drunk your ale.
I reckoned you'd be fixed up there.
Yeah, well I'm not, am I?
So get 'em in.
It's your bloody round anyway.
Fred, give me a Tiger.
Take your partners
for the Gay Gordons.
Drambuie. A double.
Fred, give me another.
Come on, a large one.
She, um...
she's no good, you know.
Thinks she knows it all.
You, er, you got kids?
Divorced, sir. No kids.
You'd think she'd make
just one effort, wouldn't you?
Make just one bloody effort.
Mind you, she'll stay here
till the bloody end.
I'll see to that.
- Hey, where's Tasker?
- Drambuie.
- I've had six Drambuies.
- Eight.
No, I haven't. Eight.
- Where's Tasker?
- Where'd you think?
He'll be getting at quick grope,
back of the Armoury.
Your missus is enjoying herself.
Yeah, thinks she's
the regimental mascot.
Oh, I'm going to the bog.
Where do you think you're going?
I'll have a short one
if you don't mind, sir.
Two whiskies, please.
I'm not staying, I'm going home.
What do you want?
Why should I?
Thought you were me dad.
Your dad? Your dad said you had to
stay till the end, your dad said.
I climbed out of the bog window.
Yeah, it was lousy, but it always is.
You didn't do much to help,
though, did you?
Suppose you're going home now?
Where are you going?
Well, not home.
Too far to London.
Mind you, it's not as far as Hull.
Why Hull?
That's... that's where
what-d'you-call-him came from.
Oxley? Yeah, Oxley.
Oxley with the pay-book.
You all right?
Shall I see you home?
- I hate soldiers.
- Mmm, so do I.
I hate them all.
I hate soldiers!
Have you ever been to Buksing, Fred?
Do you know what they get up to
in the jungle, those terrorists?
Bloody lessons!
Reading, writing, 'rithmetic,
Karl Marx and the fundamentals
of economics,
Mao and the Chinese Revolution.
Well, the more night school they get in,
the better, while I'm up there.
- How long've you been here?
- Oh, years, I think.
About ten months.
I've seen you lots of times,
but, after this afternoon, well...
I couldn't believe it
when you asked me to dance.
I thought you wanted the bog.
No, I did.
Couldn't think of nothing else.
- You were the nearest.
- Oh, thank you.
Look, excuse me, but
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Bloody soldiers!
Lesbian, eh?
You've done very well,
Sergeant Organ.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Very well indeed.
Got some beer left for
the Buksing exercise tomorrow?
Oh, yes, sir.
I want all NCOs to realise
I hold them personally responsible
for seeing the young soldiers
have a good time, hmm?
Mr Raskin. Charles.
Soldier! Come here, come on.
I want you.
I want you!
Oh, well...
After I spewed up the Drambuie,
I just had time to wash me face
and catch the last bus into Singapore.
I wanted to find that girl, Lucy.
Juicy Lucy, they called her.
And I had to get down there
before some other bugger nipped in.
- Help yourself.
- Ta.
Want a drink?
Drambuie? Beer?
You queer or something?
You fancy yourself, don't you?
Anyway, you've missed your chance.
You're a Sergeant, and I'm a lesbian.
That's what my father says.
And are you?
No, I'm a virgin.
Well, either way it's not my night.
Oh yes, it is.
That's why I invited you in.
Either way.
Show me.
Can't you show me?
No, no, no.
You have credit from last time.
Oh, last time. I...
I had to get the last bus, see.
How you like me?
Oh, well...
just the usual way, you know.
What you mean, usual?
How you like me? Am I not pretty?
Oh, I see what you mean.
Yeah, you're very pretty.
Then you give me five more dollars,
we'll make love all night.
Lots of extras.
Oh no, it's... it's all right.
Just the basic thing, thank you.
Well, I only get
twenty-three dollars a week, see.
Private Tradesman Class Two
gets twenty-eight dollars.
Yeah. I'm Class Three.
Class Three.
Be kind, Sergeant Driscoll.
Always kind to virgins.
Yes, I'm a real virgin.
Real lesbian virgin.
We'll soon stop that.
Oh, I hope so, Sergeant.
I do hope so.
Oh my God.
Easy, John, there's plenty of time.
Come here, will you!
Oh, God, I'll be too small.
I'll have to marry a gnome,
or a midget or something.
Oh, Sergeant.
Oh, you bastard!
Little virgin soldier!
Yeah, all right, don't go on about it.
You had to start some time.
Long time ago, Johnny.
Oh, Johnny,
I never have virgin before.
Not till now.
And I let you pay.
Oh! Let you pay first.
You wait...
- It's all right. It's okay, honest.
- No, you pay later.
And only ten dollars for virgin.
Now, I teach you.
From start.
And afterwards, we have cocoa.
Phillipa! Phillipa!
Let me tell you, my girl,
it's about time,
good and bloody time,
you got yourself a man!
- Oh, Fred, you must get some sleep.
- Ah, shut up, Ethel!
I didn't know, Lucy.
I just didn't know.
Next day, they took us
to a place called Buksing.
Hundred miles across the causeway.
That was jungle, all right.
Guerrillas were there
in busloads, they said,
waiting for us.
And all I'd had was ten dollars' worth.
And just the one girl.
Well, I mean, that's not life, is it?
It's all right. It's only me.
Ever heard a train late at night?
Oh, not puffers. Not now!
I've got up at two in the morning
to see a goods train.
Blimey, look!
What do we do?
Yes, gentlemen?
Little bright-arsed fireflies,
that's what that is.
All right, everyone, back to bye-byes.
Nobody's hurt,
not even the fireflies.
What do you think you're doing?
- You're wearing pyjamas.
- Yes, Sarge.
Well, you can't wear pyjamas.
Not on active service. Oh, gawd!
Well, nobody told us, did they, Sid?
Nobody said anything
about not having pyjamas.
All right, everyone,
back to your tents.
And Foster, Villiers,
stop holding hands.
Did you see that film with the Japs
and the Americans in that jungle?
Yeah. Robert Mitchum was in it,
wasn't he?
Oh yeah. Rhonda Fleming
played the nurse.
I wish I knew how she kept
her uniform so clean.
Stop! Hey, listen.
See? It's coming here!
Right, you lot!
Where the hell are they?
Would you like
a glass of lemonade?
Why not, Corporal Brook?
Why not?
Sarge, can I have
another sausage roll, please?
Thank you.
That's the way it has to be.
I used to get about so quiet
in the prison camp,
nobody knew I was there.
The Ghost of Changi,
they called me.
God help us all,
if you'd been there then.
White knees, no guts.
Don't worry, get your knees brown.
You'll learn.
Wait till tomorrow.
I'll show you.
Don't just stand there
you squinty-eyed Bongo!
I want every one of your people out
here now, in the middle, doing nowt.
You're all right, you're stupid.
You four men, get a move on.
Go on over there.
Search it, do it now, fast. Move!
Corporal Brook!
We go in there, turn it over.
Take four men. Move your arse!
I said everyone out in the middle!
Let's see what we've got!
She's sick, Sarge.
Might be fever.
Might be catching.
She might have had something
hidden under there.
Gun... something.
You can't trust them.
All right, the rest of you!
All right, you lads!
Get ready.
Follow me! Move!
Bloody Nazi.
They tried to catch me for months,
and where was you then?
At home, guzzling
orange juice and cod-liver oil.
In the war, there was only one way
you could get through the jungle.
Up the pipeline.
You know what I mean?
I can't hear you, Sarge.
The Japs never worked out
how I moved so fast.
- I still can't hear you.
- Go sick!
- Will you sign the chitty, Sarge?
- Yes! Shut up!
See, one minute I'd be
up on the reservoir,
picking off the guards,
the next I'd be down the Buket
Timah Road. They never worked...
I heard about
the big military operation yesterday.
That raid.
Raid of a village.
Bit of training, wasn't it?
Something to show these kids.
Little search there.
Little creep round.
That's right.
Looking for arms, weren't we?
Yeah, and a bit of bare tit
as well, I'm told.
Or weren't the kids
supposed to see that?
You shut it, Driscoll!
Now then, now then,
we'll have none of that.
No scrapping here.
You're sergeants, remember? Sergeants!
Right, now, come along, you lads.
You're idle.
Let's get some football in.
Let's see you move!
Come on, Sarge!
Give us a bit of the old magic!
Go on, Sarge!
Bang it in!
Right, Sarge!
Come on!
Fred weighed twenty-two stone.
We buried nineteen of 'em.
Three stone just disappeared.
There one minute, gone the next.
An old mine from the war, it was.
One of ours, of course.
It could have happened to any of us.
We could have all gone up in smoke,
before we'd started fighting, even.
Before we'd been any use.
Before I'd lived.
I mean, Lucy didn't count.
And I hadn't got anywhere
with Phillipa Raskin.
Well, all of us wanted to
get away somewhere safe,
somewhere where you didn't get killed,
and that sort of thing.
And that's how Georgie Fenwick
got his great idea.
A really great idea,
Georgie Fenwick's.
Well, this bloke in Ordnance did it,
didn't he? He only bloody did it.
Right. Who's next?
Ten days' sick leave.
That's what he said he got.
What's this, then?
On sick parade?
Came on all four of you
at the same time, did it?
Must be pretty bloody infectious.
You'd better be bloody right
about this, Fenwick, I'm telling you.
Who's next?
Oh, er... we're all together.
Very touching. You!
He'd better be bloody right,
I'm telling you.
- You want to be...?
- Yes, sir.
- Circumcised.
- Well, it's a matter of hygiene, sir.
- I've given it a great deal of thought.
- Have you?
Hygiene. Hmm.
I thought, perhaps...
- It's not an ideological decision?
- Sir?
Well, then, if you're quite sure.
- Perhaps I should warn you...
- Quite sure, sir.
It can be painful,
at your age.
It might hurt, you know.
Might hurt a lot.
Can't hurt much.
It stands to reason, doesn't it?
Bollocks to it.
You're better off without it.
Even if we have to spend
the whole ten days in here,
- well, that's all right, isn't it?
- You wouldn't chuckle.
Here, George,
do nuns come round with books
and oranges and things?
Yeah, do they?
Well now, who's going to be first?
Here, I'll tell you what,
we'll cut for it. Eh? Eh?
Do you get it?
Well, as you're in such good spirits,
you can be first.
Ooh, good luck, Briggsy.
What, er...
what sort of anaesthetic, then?
Anaesthetic? Don't be silly.
This isn't major surgery.
It's just a little thing.
Might be a little thing to her,
but it's all the world to me.
Now, that didn't hurt, did it?
What sort of anaesthetic!
Er... please, Sister, don't.
I'm only massaging your toes.
It's not them what hurts.
It's me operation.
Sick leave?
Good Lord, no. We'll have you
back in your unit in a day or two.
You... you don't get
ten days' sick leave?
You don't get ten days' sick leave
if you're dead.
We might have bloody known!
Well, it's not my fault, is it?
That bloke in Ordnance said
he definitely got ten days.
Yeah, well, he must have
had castration.
God, all for nothing.
Fancy doing that to little babies.
It hurts me to think about it.
And then, as soon as we got back
to camp, the real action started.
Come on, you lot!
Get back inside!
Get a move on!
- What is it, Sarge?
- What's going on?
What's going on?
There's a lot of rioting
going on in Singapore
and we're the ones who've got
to set things to rights.
Not us, Sarge.
We've only been out of hospital
three weeks.
We're not fit to fight.
That's what you came for, isn't it?
To get your share.
To spill some blood
for King and Country.
Now get your equipment on!
I want it understood, Mr Raskin.
I want you to speak to all NCOs.
I hold them personally responsible
for the safety
of each and every
young soldier in my command.
Here, I know them steps.
What? What's the matter?
What is it, eh?
Hey, hang about, will you?
Couple of minutes.
- You what?
- Someone I want to see.
Someone lives here.
I'll get me bloody head shot off.
There's a girl.
My girl. Chinese girl.
Never! You crafty sod!
She got a sister, then?
She's on the game.
- She's a pro?
- Yeah, but she's different.
How? You mean she
only goes for servicemen?
Won't look at the dockyard?
If I'm not out by eight,
give us a shout.
It's only half-past four!
Yeah. Ta-da.
- Lucy!
- Brigg!
I wait for you. I wait all time.
I was wondering
if you'd been all right.
Here, hang, love.
Hang on a moment.
I wait long time.
We have bed love now.
Not now, Lucy. No, we can't now!
I'm on duty, see? Patrol.
- Not now!
- Must.
It's no good, Lucy. I'll be missed.
I miss you.
I'm not busy for a long time.
- No, I've got to go.
- Not go!
There's a bloody riot on!
I'll be in the guardhouse.
Hey, look, steady on now.
Look, hang about, will you?
I wonder what the charge would be?
I suppose, being on the job when
I should have been on the job.
Brigg not go.
Brigg is big.
Yeah, well, er...
where's me trousers, love, eh?
Lucy too happy. Stay.
Now come on, love, give us a chance.
Where are they?
Lucy put them on you!
No, give us them!
Now you stay.
Silly cow.
Tasker, for God's sake!
You've actually finished?
Go and get me trousers.
This silly cow just threw 'em away.
- She fancies you, doesn't she?
- Bloody go and get 'em!
- You got 'em?
- They're not here.
Oh God, I'll be court-martialled.
That's right.
Go and get something to put on.
Well, don't just stand there like a twit!
Go and get something!
Come on, Briggsy!
For God's sake!
All right, all right, I'm here.
Don't say anything.
Don't say one bloody word.
- Brigg! Come back soon?
- Soon!
Soon as you've
found your bloody trousers!
Hey, those are my trousers!
- No, no, they are mine. I found them.
- I know you found them.
- Then they are mine.
- Arseholes!
What do you think I got these on for?
New issue or something?
I find. I keep.
If you don't give me my trousers,
I'm going to stick this bayonet
in your fat gut.
The point of the implement
is hurting me.
I will return them.
- Do not lose them again.
- I'll make bloody sure I don't.
God save the King!
In two ranks across the road,
wheeling on me, go!
Where's the banner?
Bring up the bloody banner!
Turn it round the right bloody way!
The Army is in charge!
Go back to your homes,
and nobody will be hurt!
Look out!
Corporal Brook!
Disarm that man!
- Corporal Brook!
- Yes! I'm just going.
We have to protect
the reservoir, Charles.
And the laundry. We can't let
them down in the laundry.
I know, sir
But the family homes...
We're far too weak
at the married quarters, sir.
I'm going to send a party over there.
Right. I want twenty men.
There's still folk in the married homes.
I don't know why I volunteered.
I mean, I wasn't picked out.
I wasn't detailed.
But, I thought,
"well, if they ask me,
"I'll say it was initiative."
Okay, lads.
Officers' houses first.
They weren't attacking Raskin's house,
well, as far as I could see,
but I thought, "I'll show 'em!"
Not that I was bothered
about bloody Raskin.
It was Phillipa I was going to save.
Initiative and gallantry in one.
Oh, God, Mother!
Pull yourself together, can't you?
Oh look, now we're all right.
Here's a nice soldier come to save us!
- You gotta get out of here!
- You look very warlike today.
Yes, well, there's a bloody war
going on, ain't there?
Daddy said we were to stay here.
Sod Daddy!
Well, what's all the fuss about?
There's a couple of hundred
of them out there
and they're all coming this way.
Timothy! Timothy!
They'll drown!
Oh God, they'll all drown!
Come on, we've got to get out of here!
Save them! Save them, I say!
We can't stay here.
They'll find us here!
- The pipeline.
- What?
We'll go across the pipeline.
They've seen us! They're coming!
Come on!
Give us a hand, can't you?
- Hurry, hurry, they're nearly here!
- Give us a bloody hand!
- Come on.
- Come on!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on!
- You come and get your mother!
- No, leave her, leave her.
Can't you leave her?
Stupid old cow.
No, we can't!
They don't want her! What can
they do to her? They want me!
Bloody come and get her!
She fell off.
Hang on, love!
They've gone!
I know they have.
All of them!
They've swum away.
Come on.
No! No! I won't go!
Not without them!
I can't! I won't!
I won't!
Oh, God!
- I thought you'd gone off and left us.
- Oh, don't be daft.
What are you doing?
What's going on?
She's lost her bloody fish.
Oh, God!
They've never been away from home.
Look, they're all here. They're all here.
Look, see for yourself.
We'll wait.
Maybe we can get back
along the pipe later.
There didn't seem
to be any reason to hurry.
She was there.
I mean, she was there waiting.
We were walking up there that time.
Do you remember?
Well, you should have brought me
down here then, do you know?
Don't you know I want you to?
Oh, she's asleep. She won't care.
Oh, if only you had a bit more...
well, if only you could, sort of...
take me.
So I gave it to her.
There, in all that cocoa water.
Come on.
Course, it was the
first time for her, so I took it easy.
You know, didn't go rushing.
I was very gentle with her.
Poor little virgin.
We gotta go.
Come on, love.
Time we were getting back.
Mmm, thank you, Sergeant, darling.
When I got back to camp,
they said I had to see the Colonel.
Well, I reckoned it was
a medal, you know.
I thought, that'll look good,
bit of ribbon.
There's nothing more, Brigg?
No, sir.
Son, don't you know you're not
supposed to run around
letting off your rifle?
Particularly during
a civil disturbance.
- Shooting indiscriminately...
- I wasn't shooting indiscriminately, sir.
I was shooting to kill.
Brigg, those men chasing you, er...
trying to get you,
they weren't rioters.
They were the loyal Chinese
from the Army Laundry.
And one of the shots you fired
on the pipeline ricocheted
and took the middle and index finger
clean off one of those Chinese.
Two fingers, sir?
At the lower knuckle.
It so happens he's a man of some
importance in the village, Brigg.
You may know him. The tailor?
Yes, sir.
His name is...
here, read it for yourself.
F Yew?
Get away with you.
Yeah. Cracked on it was
a perfectly normal Chinese name.
Anyway, that's why we all got sent
to this leave camp.
Till the fuss was over, you know.
Well, that can't be bad.
See, I told you.
You wouldn't want to be messing about
with guns and that sort of stuff.
Much better off pushing
that bloody pen of yours.
Well, I was a clerk
before I come in, see.
Suppose that's why, really.
Well, I wasn't a bloody gamekeeper,
but they gave me a gun.
I was training to be an architect.
Student architect,
trained soldier, eh!
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
When the Japs put the thumbscrews
on you at Changi, that wasn't funny.
God, they had me
under the screws a few times.
I was known as the Hero of Changi.
Here, do you reckon I'd get
a discharge if I said I was queer?
Didn't help Foster or Villiers, did it?
- Yeah, but...
- Fenwick!
Are you interrupting
my wartime reminiscences?
Yes, Sergeant.
We were in the jungle, you know.
Buksing on the east coast.
Oh, aye.
Godawful sewer, the jungle.
Swamp, stink, prickly heat.
- We get that prickly heat in Singapore.
- Aye.
Well, the ginks have lived the whole
of their lives in the jungle.
Some of them have
been there for years.
You know they were doing
the same to the Japanese?
Hiding in the jungle, then
popping up and killing them.
In those days,
they were Resistance heroes.
Now, they're Communist bandits.
I've only got three weeks
to do now, you know.
On the floor!
It's a bloody ambush!
Better get out of here.
They'll come
throwing grenades next.
Where's your officers?
No officers, just NCOs.
Where's your sergeants, then?
Down the other end.
Keep down!
There's nothing happening down here.
There's a bloody
great fire up by the engine.
Now, I want five of you
to man the searchlight
and beam it
towards the jungle.
The rest of you follow me.
Now wait till I call you.
you men up the back,
get the civilians out
and under this carriage.
Rest of you,
up and make for the engine.
Come on, move!
Keep your heads down, under the crossfire.
Come on, mate.
- Come on, Brigg!
- Come on!
Brigg! Let him go!
Look out, grenades!
Now, Brigg. Get out!
Move yourself!
Come on!
Come on, hurry up!
Hurry up! Come on!
You four down there,
covering fire.
Rest of you, follow me.
They're holding back.
Can't be sure how strong we are.
Sending someone up with a grenade
every now and then.
Next time, we'll be
ready for them, eh?
I got him.
Hey, I got him!
I got one! See?
Ah, Briggsy got one!
Good lad!
The other way, you bloody fool!
Right, first five!
Move to the back of that wagon
and cover the area. Now move!
Come on, move!
All right, the rest of you follow me.
Right, pull back!
- Stevens, get 'em in! Get 'em in!
- Shut up! Listen!
Hey, how many
did we get, do you think?
Why don't you go
and bloody count them?
They'll think twice before
they come back at us.
They'll come back, and when they do,
they'll sort us out.
First five in there.
Rest of you, under the train.
Sergeant Wellbeloved here?
Any jungle soldiers, for God's sake?
Me, Sergeant. West Yorks.
Good. You take charge here.
Now Browning, you and
the first five follow me.
Five second intervals.
All the noise, all the shooting.
Someone must realise we're in trouble.
- Who?
- Well, anyone.
There isn't anyone.
That's why they chose this place.
I told you, they're better than us.
Now shut up! Listen!
See? Simple jam.
Down! Get your head down!
Don't want an extra parting,
do you?
There! Cover over there!
I'm going for help.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to go for help.
It's all right, I'm going for help!
It's all right, everyone.
I'm going for help!
Help, help!
Help me...
Help! Help!
Help me!
Help me! Help me!
What is it, soldier?
Ambush... bandits...
Everybody back on board!
Slaughter. It's slaughter.
They blew up the train!
How many of them?
Hundreds, hundreds.
Help him up.
Sarge, they're pulling out!
Cease fire!
Kuala Lumpur...
All right, lads,
form up down here.
Looking for us, are you?
Well, still fancy me then, do you?
Wahey! Whoo-hoo!
You're a bloody marvel!
Soon as they heard that bloody train!
Didn't even stop to say ta-ra...
You are a bloody marvel!
If you were a tart, I'd kiss you!
Anyone seen Sergeant Wellbeloved?
Sergeant Wellbeloved?
I went to get help.
It was me that found that train.
Bloody marvel, they said I was.
- Why isn't your kit down here?
- We're not going.
What do you mean,
you're not going?
I've signed on.
- As a bloody regular?
- That's right.
I've still got a year to do.
Yeah, all right, but what about
when you've done your year?
- Sid'll still have a year to go.
- We'll keep signing on.
That is definitely love.
Come on, you lot.
Get inside these wagons.
Been to the tailor's, have we?
Having him make
our fancy uniforms?
You'll be all right when you get home,
telling them all the story.
I was out in Malaya.
It was hell out there.
Stinking hot in the jungle.
All them bastard enemy bandits.
Ah, you'll be all right, you lot.
Telling all the girls,
with one hand around their waist
and the other inside their knickers.
Old enough to fight,
old enough to vote. Right?
There you are, Briggsy.
He reckons he's made a man of you.
- Him and the Army.
- A man?
Oh, come along, Benjamin.
Get a move on!
F Yew!
F Yew and the best of British!
- A man, eh?
- That's right.
Well, it doesn't feel like it.
Ah well, Briggsy, that's life.