The Warped Forest (2011) Movie Script

A film by Shunichiro Miki.
But really...
- We've gotta try the hot springs here.
- You can say that again.
Have you checked it out?
You bet.
Of course I have.
What's it like?
There's an open-air bath.
I knew it! It's the best
part of hot springs.
And guess what, it's mixed bathing.
No kidding.
What's more,
there's a lot of young visitors
...meaning, girls.
That's too good to be true.
- Is it really mixed?
- I'm serious!
You're just trying to get our hopes up.
No, really,
It said in the brochure.
- Said what?
- "Mixed bath available".
"Mixed bath available"?
With swimsuits?
You know,
completely naked
with the girls.
Let's go!
- Tamura, let's take a look!
- You guys go ahead.
- Huh?
- I'm kind of drained.
But it's a mixed bath!
Mixed bath?
Yeah. Let's go.
What's the matter?
I was at camp with the college
dance team till yesterday.
- You were!?
- Yeah, I had the weirdest time.
I was in my room, asleep
when someone came banging at my door.
I got out of bed, annoyed
but it turned out to
be three students of mine,
muddy and shaking.
I asked them what happened
but they kept repeating,
"you'll never believe us!"
What happened!?
You'll never believe us!
You'll never believe us.
- Believe what!?
- You'll never believe us!
I sent them out to
wash themselves first,
then called them over.
I tried to talk to them, but...
So? What's the story?
You'll never believe us. Never.
I will, boys!
We were practicing in
our room this afternoon.
Oh yeah! That's cool!
Ryu was dancing, but he suddenly vanished!
Just like that!
Calm down!
When I realized, I was in a forest.
A forest?
I totally lost it,
but the next thing,
these two popped up too.
We panicked and started running.
It was total hell.
Where are we!?
Our ph, ph, pho... pho... pho...
Ho ho ho?
- We lost our phones, too.
- Oh, your phones.
We... we finally reached this highway,
so we walked along
and found a little store.
We asked where we were,
and somehow made it back here.
What do you think?
Makes no sense at all.
Aren't they pulling your leg?
Tamura, some students are playing a joke
on their naive professor.
I can't believe they're telling tales.
The details are oddly realistic.
Hey, where's my tea?
No idea.
Did you eat my snack?
Of course not.
But I had it here just now!
Where'd it go!?
Um, everything's gone from the table.
Here we are.
Please enjoy your stay.
Darling! Dar-Manager!
Gentlemen, we've been searching for you!
It's been two whole days
since you disappeared.
Two days?
- Impossible.
- Darling, it's two days and ten hours.
That's a mere detail.
A detail? Ten hours is a long time!
It's a small fact!
Excuse me
um, we just arrived here.
I mean, didn't we?
Only your luggage was left here.
There was quite a fuss with the police.
- The police?
- They sent a search party to the forest!
We even had a bonfire for them.
THE WARPED FORES - Proudly presenting.
- What's next?
The top three outrageous girls!
Announcing the runner-up.
Here's the title.
- "The smelliest".
- The smelliest! Where?
The stinkiest!
Where, how!?
You'll never guess.
Aw, come on.
- Tell me!
- You wanna know!?
I'll tell you...
Hi, hi.
So? Where!?
Be patient.
You wanna drink?
- No thanks.
- Why not!
I won't. My grandma told me
kids get diarrhea drinking those.
We're over twenty, man.
- It's not that bad.
- Your face!
What is your problem?
So, any news on dream-tinkering?
Everyone says it cost heaps of pocos.
- Darn.
- It's beyond our reach.
How much is it?
300 pocos per person.
No way.
I'm dying to spacetime warp
in my dream, though!
300, wow.
Don't you have any pocos saved up?
I've got this.
Not a chance.
You're miles off.
Who can afford it?
Sorry, I've gotta go.
But you just got here.
See you later.
What's with him?
- Moving onto!
- Moving onto!
Winner of the top
three outrageous girls!
- What about the smelliest?
- Let's skip it.
Why are you following me?
Thing is...
I've got things to do.
You're being such a chicken.
I'd rather buy Ichagaki's chocolates
than try warping, if we had the pocos.
What's that!?
You've never heard of it!?
You're missing out a lot.
Ichagaki's chocolates are worth dying for.
Well, it's super crispy on the outside
...and the inside layer's crispy, too!
It's crispy two times over?
Yeah, but the centre's super creamy.
It's super yummy.
It's super yummy.
Talk to you later.
Sure, see ya.
Is this it, manager?
Yup, that's the one.
Can you put it up?
Right there, on the roof.
- Here?
- Yes.
- Like this?
- Yes, yes.
- How is it?
- It's perfect!
What would we do without you?
By the way, sir... how about a
5 poco raise for my hourly wages?
- Okay.
- Really?
- I'll think about it.
- Thank you so much!
Uh, could you mind
the store for a while?
Of course.
I'm going to the forest
for some colourful...
- You can count on me.
- Thanks.
Take care!
Mushrooms again... geez.
Always damn mushrooms.
Excuse me... excuse me!
I came to meet the manager.
You just missed him.
Oh... could you tell him
Makko dropped by!?
- Makko?
- Makko.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
"Change your life at Life Training Hall"
I am happy, I am happy, I am...
...happy, I am happy, I am happy.
That's it, gentlemen.
Rub it into your subconscious minds.
- Thank you, master.
- Thank you.
I am happy, I am happy, I am happy...
Honey, I'm going out to sharpen the sword.
Wait, try this.
How sweet.
It's freshly picked.
How in the world do
they make it so sweet!
It must be love.
- I'm sorry.
- Huh? I wonder what for?
I'll be off, then.
This is...
I'll take the New Unpairsaurus.
Ah, the New Unpairsaurus.
It's here, sir.
Yes, the New Unpairsaurus.
I truly envy that gun.
It has come across the perfect partner.
- And a spare bottle of bait.
- Ah, the bait.
No, she needs one for the Pinky-Pankies.
Of course, I'm just joking.
It's in drawer 77.
Handle this with care, my dear.
It can destroy your own scent.
- Yes, that gun can...
- Thank you very much!
Thank you.
Mr. Pelon, where's your favorite hat!?
What do you think of our bread?
"Lovey-Dovies' Smiley Rolls"
I think it's nice.
Won't people think it's about us?
- Us?
- Yeah.
I don't think that's likely.
- You sure?
- Yes.
Of course it's about us.
Right, Yuppo?
Although it wouldn't
hurt to start a new menu.
Hmm, a new menu.
No no, of course not!
That's me and her!
Freshly picked Kittka fruits, sir.
They look delicious.
Thank you very much.
Very sweet.
Thank you.
Kittka fruits...
Taste even better like this, sir.
I'll excuse myself for today.
I'll see you again, tomorrow.
Good bye, sir.
Have you ever tried dream-tinkering!?
Heavens, no.
It lets you travel through
space and time, right!?
- What?
- Spacetime warp.
That's a new one.
I thought that was the thrill
of dream-tinkering.
What I've heard is,
you can manipulate your dreams freely.
Yes, but you get bad luck in reality.
- Bad luck?
- Yeah.
Darn. Really?
I've never heard of that.
There's so much gossip.
Warping, sounds fishy to me.
I've always thought dream-tinkering
was about spacetime warp.
Even if we had other choices,
warping is the coolest.
Well, I don't know the truth.
Me neither... sorry.
Hello, madam.
Where's your hat?
It's a new look.
Oh, no.
I forgot to go to the city office.
My, it's so late.
There must be a queue.
- I can go.
- No, I'll take care of it. You stay here.
I'll just pop to the city office.
See you.
There he goes again.
Isn't it too early to get drunk?
Are you worried?
Of course I am.
Ooh. I see someone...
...who's sweet on me.
Not now.
Someone might see us.
See you.
I heard news about a gold mushroom.
Wow, good luck!
Oh, a woman called Makko
came for you today...
Oh, the phone!
Hello, Peach speaking.
Sure, I'm just on my way.
I'll be right there!
My bag, my bag...
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
Could I meet the manager?
I'm so sorry, he's left for today.
All right, could you tell him Makko came!
Of course.
- Excuse me!
- Yes?
Have you told him?
Hello, so sorry to keep you waiting!
I, uh.
I'd like to try the special menu today.
Thank you very much.
Excuse me, one order for the special menu!
Uh... what exactly is this?
Stop! Please stop it!
I beg you, please stop it!
Please don't stop...
That was great.
That's all for today.
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting!
My apologies...
I'm truly sorry for being late.
- Did you bring the Ichagaki chocolates?
- Yes, I did.
- Ready to order?
- Coffee, please.
Are you a queen or what!
Just water, please.
Have you brought the pocos?
- Yes.
- Hand it over, then.
Just shut up and give it me now!
I'm sorry.
Here it is.
Only this?
We're cutting corners, my sisters and I.
Our parents died, so...
Bullshit! Sounds like a
whole lot of bullshit.
You want everyone to know
about your little secret?
- Closing time!?
- Yes. Sorry.
I see.
But I am happy.
Try the Life Training Hall, lad.
I'm not blind, you know.
Something's going on between my wife
and the part-time guy,
but I don't feel up to stopping them.
Marriage has its ups and downs.
Sometimes we need to close one eye.
But still, she's having an affair.
Don't put it that way,
she's just flirting a bit.
But what if she gets hooked on him?
Maybe he's feeding
her loads of sappy crap.
Like what?
"What magic are you using
to steal my heart away?"
He's unlikely to say that, but I like it.
- Yeah?
- Say it again?
"What magic are you using..."
Your wife must know
you go to naughty shops!
How's it going with you, Pope?
Me? I play my cards right.
They're both happy,
my wife and my lover.
You know why? Because I'm happy.
Is she the girl who sells fruits?
Surprised you remember.
So how'd you charm her?
How? Well, like...
"Miss Au Lait, do come
hill walking with me."
That's corny!
Hmm, not bad.
I could sound more seductive, though.
What's with your new attitude?
It's sick, cut it out.
Yeah, it's weird.
- You better put your hat on.
- Yeah, why aren't you wearing it?
- You get funny without it.
- Then keep it on!
Your hair's different, too.
He's such a show-off lately!
He's obsessed with his hair,
saying it's his new look,
doing these snobby gestures for no reason.
It drives me crazy!
He's not a bad guy but knows
nothing about our weapons,
the other day he mistook
the duster for a gun!
Can you believe it? I've had it.
I'm gonna quit, you hear me?
What the...!
- Ow!
- You started it.
- Ow!
- Just cut it out.
- Is is that precious?
- It's nothing.
I get it.
From a girl, isn't it?
No, it's not.
Aha, I smell something.
I think he's in love!
I'd tell you.
- Liar.
- He's lying.
By the way, you guys heard of
the Life Training Hall?
- What's that?
- It's this training place,
where they teach you how to train
your subconscious mind.
It leads your life to
a positive direction.
Sounds cool.
Does it improve relationships as well?
- Things start looking up!?
- Everything.
Is it free?
- Yuck.
- Shut up.
Mum... Dad...
- Dad? Hi, we just got here.
- How is it?
It's great! I'll bring you
and Mum here someday.
Thanks, I'll keep my expectations low.
Where's your sisters?
They're fooling around.
Sounds fun.
Hot-springs hopping is just great.
I grow sweeter!
You grow happier!
I grow sweeter!
He grows happier!
He likes sweet!
You love that man!
You love him, but...
ashamed of your body!
Be quiet!
I'm sorry.
Oh!? I wonder what for?
Really, I wonder.
I'll be off for the swords.
The swords.
They need sharpening.
Look honey, this is nice.
Yes, but we can't afford it.
I know, we don't have enough pocos.
If we only had more pocos.
- Come on, don't say that.
- If only we had more pocos.
I'm leaving now,
for some emerald-green mushrooms.
See you!
- Later.
- Good luck.
- Hello, I came to see the manager.
- I'm telling you, he's out!
I'm sorry, my private
life's a mess lately and,
Private life!
How about my private life, then?
Where the fuck is that manager... ow!
Are you all right?
Do you need an ambulance?
He's obsessed about
warping in his dreams lately.
I think he should forget about it.
From what I've heard,
it gives you bad luck afterwards.
He just won't listen...
Young boys these days are so reckless.
The dream-tinkering I know of is different.
It's top secret.
You're not thinking of trying it, are you?
I wonder...
Would you like to go walking sometime?
Up the hills.
We could pick wild vegetables.
Mr. Pope.
Dreams are only dreams.
- Dreams!?
- I have to accept reality.
I'll leave my dream
beautiful and untouched.
Miss Au Lait, please...
Excuse me.
For you.
Ichagaki's chocolates.
Thought so.
For me?
What are you doing!?
This is for you, too.
I can't accept so much pocos!
In exchange,
Won't you please let me in?
Uh... where?
...what do you mean?
Please let me,
...go inside your bottom!?
That's a hard question.
I'm not really into that kind of stuff.
Too much to ask?
I'm afraid so.
Excuse me.
Oh, yeah...
It's time we renewed our menu.
I'll just head out,
and check out the
other bakeries in town,
we need originality for the names.
I might be late.
Bye, honey.
"Lovey-Dovies' Smiley Rolls."
The subconscious mind
controls your destiny.
If you wish to be happy
or change yourself,
you need to train your subconscious mind.
We can do this by telling ourselves,
"I am happy",
over and over.
Say it out loud.
Rub it into your subconscious minds.
Repeat it again and again-
"I am happy. I am happy."
Try saying it out loud.
"I am happy."
Very good.
Big smile, please.
"I am happy."
Bigger smile.
"I am happy."
And again.
"I am happy."
Again, please.
"I am happy."
Very nice!
Words have the power
to encourage the subconscious mind,
so that it will seek happiness...
...oh, how pathetic I sound.
It doesn't work.
You could say it a hundred times,
with no result.
Because I'm not happy at all.
I'm sorry it turned out like this.
It's all your fault.
It's your fault. We lost all our pocos.
Come on.
We all agreed to go.
Maybe it was a lesson for us
to see grown-ups like that.
Sorry, I didn't mean it.
Life really doesn't go
the way you want, huh.
If we could at least
have fun in our dreams.
- Wanna try!?
- What!?
Dream tinkering.
I'm telling you, I'm broke.
Who's broke?
We're out of pocos!
You sure?
We don't have any...
What's that!?
Don't ask how,
but I got extra pocketmoney.
You call that pocketmoney?
Come on, we don't have to go into it.
I'm gonna treat you guys today.
- Don't do that.
- Let's try it?
Let's spacetime warp.
You won't change your mind?
I promise it's on me.
Don't do that, come on.
- I'll serve you forever!
- Just follow me.
- Yes!
- Off we go!
- Let's not.
- Let's go!
No, we can't.
What's your problem?
My grandma says we'll get bad luck.
There's creepy rumours.
Seriously, we'll get cursed.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Give me a break!
- People disappear mysteriously.
- Bullshit!
- It's true.
Moppo, don't chicken out. Listen, guys.
Dream-tinkering is a technology.
Let me put this down.
Dream-tinkering is a technology.
Get it?
Believe me.
What do you mean?
It's really simple.
It's a gift from the ancient times,
it's 'Over Technology...
What do you mean?
It's 'Over Technology"!
Yeah, 'Over Technology'!
- It's perfectly fine, then.
- Yeah, let's go!
No, we'll get cursed!
Phew, today was great, too.
My pleasure.
Your shirt's unbuttoned.
- I'll do it for you.
- Thanks.
What magic are you using...
to steal my heart away!?
You must be using magic
to steal my heart away.
- I envy your wife so much!
- Eh?
You always say such
sweet things to her, right?
Er, yes.
I've heard about your
"Lovey-Dovies" rolls.
It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!
If only I could find Mr. Right, too!
What magic are you using...
May I have the pocos for today?
It's a rule.
Oh, of course.
There it is, see it?
Wow, cool!
Hurry up, it's okay!
- Are you sure!
- Leave it to us.
One warp to go, please!
- Moppo, get the pocos out.
- Oh, yeah.
Warp, please.
- Please don't let anything bad happen.
- Three warps, please.
Maybe we say it at the same time.
True. Chill out, it's gonna be fine.
Let's step forward.
Here we go.
Warp, please!
Here it is.
- That's enough.
- Sorry?
You can have this back, too.
Thank you.
I admit my brother's pretty twisted.
But your sister's crossing the edge
to earn pocos.
What's she spending
it on, dream-tinkering!?
Anyway, I don't care.
I'm not interested in pocos anymore.
It's not what makes you happy.
Dream-tinkering doesn't solve anything.
Isn't life...
about making the most of what you get!?
If you care about your little sister,
why don't you teach her those things?
...stupid goose.
Perhaps it is destiny...
which brings us together once again
all these years after elementary school.
Here we are...
shit, I'm not doing this anymore!
What's the matter?
I thought...
...if I change...
my ex-wife might come back.
That's unlikely if you keep it up.
How about this?
- That suits you way better.
- Yeah.
Very nice.
- It's gonna get the girls.
- Really?
- Eh?
- You guys look so happy.
What's up?
The thing is...
- So!
- Don't make me jump!
So you two were dumped, right?
You don't need to rub it in!
Let's try dream-tinkering.
Get all the lovers you want in your dreams.
How can I afford it?
Don't you know you get cursed
by dream-tinkering!?
Everybody knows that.
I've heard that, too.
I found a way around it.
No way.
But this is so safe!
There's no need to worry about anything.
I need to face reality right now.
I can't go running off to La-La Land!
Listen, I got this from Mr. Ichagaki.
He's a friend of mine who I really trust.
I got it from him, so it's fine.
You can leave me out.
Me too.
Fine, then. I'll do it by myself.
Ok with you?
- Go ahead.
- Be my guest.
How about dumplings tomorrow!?
I guess's Apli's favorite.
Let me dream of
Mum and Dad and my sisters,
all looking happy! Please!
She got cursed because of me.
Au Lait's accident in the woods
has nothing to do with you, Apli!
Please forgive me, Au Lait...
I'm gonna save up to bring
Mum and Dad here someday.
Nice, I'll chip in too.
Promise? I'm going to really pamper them.
They're gonna cry when they hear that.
I bet dinner here is great, too.
They might serve fresh mushrooms
from the mountains.
Dumplings! I wanna eat dumplings.
They won't have dumplings, silly!
But I want to!
Mushroom dumplings, maybe?
- Mushroom dumplings?
- Never heard of it!
Okay, let's check in early
for our next hotel tomorrow,
and go out to eat dumplings for lunch.
Yes! Yes! Perfect!
Help! What's happening!?
What the...?!
Where are we!?
Shit, I feel so sick.
What the hell.
Dream-tinkering, huh!
I warped to the woods, but it was awful.
- I got it.
- Huh?
Messing with dreams or weird training
won't solve anything.
I'm gonna work more, for a start.
Wait up.
I've found you at last, Pinky Panky.
Here, sweetie sweetie!
Hello, is Peach there today!?
Peach? She quit.
Oh... I'm fine, then.
We have other nice girls, too.
Please drop in again.
Could I have two
Lovey-Dovies' Smiley Rolls?
There you go.
What's the matter with you?
I can't do this anymore.
...with you...
Meeting you secretly like this.
You don't mean it, do you?
I've made up my mind.
We can't meet anymore.
Liar, you're going to miss
me and come back.
I won't. I'm quitting the bakery, too.
Yuppo, I finally realized.
You have a place where you belong.
I'm sorry.
I don't belong anywhere.
Are you dumb or what?
What does this face say?
"I'm never going to split up"?
How about this?
"You're my slave forever"?
I am happy, I am happy, I am...
What's up?
- Nothing.
- Oh.
I love you.
Since a long time ago.
I couldn't find the right words
so it took me a long time to say it,
but maybe what matters
most is letting you know.
I love you.
A lot.
I appreciate your feelings
but I've got too much on right now.
- Thanks, though.
- Thanks.
I did it.
Sparks of youth...
I am happy, I am happy, I am happy...
I'm back.
What's that!?
I heard Apli did dream-tinkering,
and her sister got into a big accident.
I'm telling you, it's dangerous!
You need heaps of pocos, anyway.
She'd been working at a
disgraceful place to earn them.
It's turned her family into a mess!
I know a completely safe way, though.
Yes, and it's free.
But you never know!
Don't mess around with it.
- Here's your new sword.
- No, it's this one.
- That?
- Yes, sir. The blue one.
- What's this?
- That's a really old one.
My, I'm getting dotty.
Here you go, ma'am.
Your new sword.
But Mr. Peron, I'm glad you've become
your old self again.
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
Have you guys changed your mind?
- ...let's give it a try.
- Really?
Now you're talking!
Here's the instructions.
- This here's the important part.
- Okay.
You ready!?
Here goes:
Please grant
my one and only scheme
in the sweetest of my dreams!
Do it, guys!
Peron, I'm 42.
I can't do that, I'm a grown-up.
Yeah, I can't imagine
we can dream-tinker by doing this.
Let's just try it once.
Come on, only once!
- Promise?
- Yeah!
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
Here goes:
Please grant
my one and only scheme
in the sweetest of my dreams!
I offer you in turn,
two days after that
to enjoy as you please, oh!
See, nothing happened.
Told you so.
Did you two look thrilled at "oh!"?
It said on the instructions!
See this?
Look as if you were coming at 'oh!'
Why do that for dream-tinkering?
Doesn't make any sense.
Well, it didn't work, did it?
It didn't.
Let's do it properly!
Okay, okay. We will.
Let's go.
- Ready?
- Yes.
Here goes!
Please grant
my one and only scheme
in the sweetest of my dreams!
I offer you in turn,
two days after that
to enjoy as you please, oh!
I want to go on a holiday with Peach!
A wonderful time with
Ms. Au Lait, please!
I hope everyone becomes happy.
It might really come true.
Heave-ho, heave-ho...
Heave-ho, heave-ho...
Heave-ho! Heave-ho, heave-ho.
We did it!
Quick, squash it!
For God's sake,
Don't let it splash in the dumplings!
Can't you do it upstairs?
Why don't you go to the kitchen instead?
If you hadn't got hurt,
this would never have happened.
Do you realize you're always
hurting Apli's feelings that way?
I am not!
Yes, you are.
I always think what's best for you two!
Why don't you stop being
edgy all the time, then?
- When in the world am I edgy?
- Right now.
Stop mumbling, I can't hear you at all.
You make Apli feel uncomfortable.
Why should she?
Nothing to do with me.
- It's your fault, can't you see!?
- No, you're spoiling her too much.
Let's trust her more.
She's got a smart head on her shoulders.
Then why'd she go dream-tinkering?
You know how she worked for it.
There's no point in accusing her
for what she did already.
You let her get away with everything.
I don't, you're just too strict on her.
So everything's my fault, isn't it.
I say it's a set-up.
The whole town's trying to trick us.
This dates two days later, too.
It's off here too.
It does, but...
I wonder who those three guys were.
Oh, dumplings!
Hello again.
Professor, what're you doing here?
Same for you.
We were searching everywhere for you!
They said you disappeared like smoke.
- When'd you come back?
- We were here all along.
Hey, didn't you guys say
you warped near a forest here!
- Around here!? You mean...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
These are those boys.
Yeah, it was here.
That's why we got worried.
I smell something fishy.
I'd like to hear more about it.
Why're you acting so sweet all the sudden?
- No, I'm not.
- Oh, yes you are.
Can you tell us the whole story?
Then let's set the tables together.
- Sure.
- Nice idea.
Dumplings, dumplings!
Dumplings for everyone, please!
Fumi Nikaido.
Rinko Kikuchi.
Yoji Tanaka.
Kanji Tsuda
Ryu Morioka.
Yoshiyuki Morishita.
Written and directed by
Shunichiro Miki