The Wedding Banquet (2025) Movie Script
1
Welcome to the 15th annual
Seattle API LGBTQIA+
Equality Gala!
Breathe.
Seattle,
how y'all doing tonight?
Jeffrey?
Lady Shu Mai.
Ma.
Let's dance! Whoo!
It's giving mother. Come on!
Yas, queen.
Angela!
Angela! Come up here.
The next award goes to one of
the most tireless advocates
for the LGBTQ Asian-American
community here in Seattle.
One of the founding members
of API PFLAG,
she has volunteered countless
hours to our language hotline
and fried up countless scallion
pancakes for our meetings.
This year's recipient
of the
Christina Cho Ally Award is...
May Chen.
Thank you, Marshall.
Thank you, everyone.
When Angela's father
passed away,
I knew it was my responsibility
to protect Angela.
When she came out to me, I knew
I had to be there for her.
I had to be the best mother
and love her unconditionally,
no matter what.
Parenthood is an invitation--
You should come to
the PFLAG meetings.
I've invited her.
She never wants to come.
Your mother
has told us everything.
Like the time she found you
looking at lesbian porn,
and you told her it was
for a figure drawing class.
Yeah.
Oh. Have you met Lee?
Angela's partner.
-Hi.
-Oh, hi.
She's the executive director
of the Hometown Pride
Social Services.
Oh, I have heard so much
about you.
Oh, I'm sure you have.
Susan, did I tell you I'm gonna
be a grandmother soon?
So exciting!
-Yes.
-Ma.
Lee did IVF.
The donor is Taiwanese.
He went to Yale.
He's a cardiologist.
-His sperm was very expensive.
-Oh.
Well, my implantation
was a couple of weeks ago,
so we don't know for sure yet.
But it seems good, right?
I mean,
we're cautiously optimistic.
Just managing expectations.
The first time didn't work out.
The first time never works.
I told her not to talk about it,
and I just don't want her
to jinx it.
It's okay. It's fine.
She's just excited.
So am I.
I know it's scary,
but we have to let ourselves
hope a little bit.
I hope the baby has your nose.
It's my mama's nose.
I'd like that.
I hope the baby has your eyes.
You know it's not my sperm.
I can still hope.
Why am I here?
Uh, you're here to appreciate
the work
and celebrate your boyfriend.
Second question.
Why are you here?
For the free food and booze.
And to hang out with my cousin.
Thanks.
Last question.
Your social anxiety
is killing my vibe.
Joke's on you.
My anxiety is generalized.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Hi! You survived.
Oh, barely.
Oh, thank God.
Oh. How'd it go?
Well, it was classic May Chen.
Triggering.
- Wow.
- Babe.
I've not seen you
do that since...
...freshman orientation.
Freshman orientation?
Oh, you know,
when these two confused
little idiots--
Started their codependent
relationship with a bang.
Right.
I can't believe
you guys fucked.
What do you think?
I'm going to her place.
Hmm. I can't tell behind
all the hair and leather.
It's my type.
Is it cool if I bounce?
Yeah. Just text after,
so I know you're safe.
-I'll be fine.
-Text me.
Okay.
This hot mess is all yours.
Bye, babes. Mwah.
Kind of a mean thing to say
to your cousin.
Whatever. Peace!
Let's go see
some student art.
Wow.
He made these?
Isn't that wild?
Fuck, yeah, Min.
I'm not being polite.
I really love these.
-That one's my favorite.
-Mm.
Oh, I love this too.
You left me.
You looked busy.
Never too busy for you.
-Thank you for coming.
-Aww, of course.
Min, it's so beautiful.
Seattle, how we doing tonight?
We could have carpooled.
We love you, Shu Mai!
-And lions!
-Woo-hoo!
Go! Wait, now you do
the blinking.
Yes!
That's perfect.
Did you see that little twitch?
Oh, my God.
Why am I always the butt?
Beautiful.
You know, this baby
is gonna change everything.
No more late nights.
No, there's gonna be
plenty of late nights.
Just not like this one.
Chris and I will be
very good guncles.
We can babysit anytime.
-Yeah?
-I'll teach the baby art
and Chris
will change the diapers.
Poop? You're giving me poop?
Oh, my God!
-Good night.
-Good night.
See ya tomorrow.
So, what do you wanna
watch tonight?
Housewives.
-Ooh. Which city?
-Hm, any of them.
Oh, vintage Beverly Hills
with Camille Grammer.
Eww. Slimy.
Hey, that's expensive stuff.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Hey, birders. There's
a heron by the yellow irises.
And a wood duck drake
swimming by.
You'll notice the white line
extending below the bill
and also above the eyes.
You mean the squealer ducks.
Yes. They are also
called squealers.
You are so cute.
Do you have a boyfriend?
You should have a boyfriend.
I've got a nephew that
I'm pretty sure is gay.
Okay, group, let's keep
migrating down this way.
Maybe he's pansexual.
I think I saw
some wrens.
Oh, shit!
Hey. What's up?
I just tried to use
the Discover card to get coffee.
Remember, we consolidated
that into the Visa.
We have to pay
for this parenthood thing.
Right.
Yep. Just cut it up.
I'm cutting it up.
Feeding it to your worms.
They're moth larvae,
and they're busy
recycling polyethylene.
Not sure their saliva breaks
down PVC.
Okay, well,
you get back to saving
the world.
Love you.
I love you, I love you,
I love you.
Hey, would you check on Kenneth?
He needs an agency referral
for the downtown shelter.
I don't think he's 18 yet.
You got it.
So...?
Do you feel any different?
I don't know.
Do I seem different?
Yeah. It's exciting.
You are gonna be a great mother.
I guess maybe this one
feels a little different.
Hey, Chris. Morning.
Ahh! What the hell?
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
I'm sorry
this one didn't stick.
Is there anything wrong?
All the tests look good.
But of course, age
may be playing a factor here.
It's not unusual for IVF
to take a few goes at it.
If you want to try again.
Just know
that we don't recommend
more than three treatments.
It's difficult for the patient.
We can try again.
We can't afford it.
We'll save up.
That could take us years.
I don't have years.
We can take out another
mortgage on the house.
I'm not taking out
another mortgage
just to have another failed IVF.
Okay? I can't handle that.
What if you did the IVF?
What?
No, this is important to you.
This is your thing.
I mean, this is important to us.
I wanna have a family with you.
You're younger,
so you have more time.
Look, it just feels selfish.
Pregnancy is something
you wanted to experience,
-not me.
-I'm sorry.
Are you saying
that I'm being selfish
-for wanting to be pregnant?
-I'm not saying anything.
It's just that...
Can you just drop it?
Would you fucking turn around?
Ang, you can't treat me
like your mom.
What the hell does that mean?
It means that you can be
honest with me
about what you're feeling,
what you want.
You don't have to simmer
and not confront anything.
Like your mom's speech
at the Gala.
What?
Nothing. I...
-I'm simmering.
-God! Can you please--
That is my way
of confronting things.
-Oh, my God!
-People confronting--
What the hell?
Min, stop throwing things.
Oh, my God.
No!
Why don't you believe me?
What are you so scared of?
-Min. Min.
-What is going on?
Min proposed.
Oh, my God!
It's Cartier. Congratulations.
Uh...
I tell you how much
you mean to me.
-How much I--
-Bullshit!
Tell them why
you really proposed.
I proposed because I love you.
Because I want to be
your husband.
Because his OPT visa runs out
in a few months
and he doesn't wanna go
back to Korea.
No! You're making this up.
Your grandmother just threatened
to yank you back to Korea.
I bought the ring before.
It's just...
weird timing.
I'm not gonna marry you
so you can get a green card.
Oh, fuck green card!
I don't even want to be
an American.
Your trains are so slow,
and I never know
how much to tip.
What about your family?
You come out, they cut you off.
We'll talk to you later.
No. Stay.
Look, I am not gonna
be responsible
for you losing your money.
I am not gonna be responsible
for you being disowned
by your family.
And I am not gonna be
responsible for
whatever the fuck apocalyptic
coming out party
you have planned for yourself.
It's too much!
Chris.
I love you.
Isn't my proposal...
throwing everything away...
proof of that?
Oh, that's beautiful.
-Babe.
-It's romantic.
There are other ways for you
to stay in the country
while you sort your life out.
You could enroll online at UW
and take a Photoshop class.
Or learn Google Sheets.
That'll buy you a year
to figure--
I don't want a year!
I told you, I want a life.
And I'm already so good
at Google Sheets!
You shit-talk me
in front of our friends.
Disrespect our relationship.
As if a stupid green card
is the only thing
I ever wanted from you.
Wait, Min. Hold on.
I only asked you to marry me...
because I thought
you would say yes.
Oh, my God.
You two are the same.
Just say something.
Min!
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
We knew it would be difficult.
Is Lee gonna try again?
I don't think so.
The expectation.
The disappointment.
It was really hard on her.
You know, she asked me
if I would do it.
What? The IVF?
-Weird.
-I know.
Lee, I can see pregnant.
Min, I can see pregnant.
But you?
I... whatever.
Doesn't matter
if it's Lee or me.
'Cause we don't have the money.
So...
Lee would be such a good mom.
So would you.
You have mother issues.
It's not the same thing
as motherhood issues.
Yeah, it actually is.
So, are you gonna do long
distance with Min in Korea?
Uh... I don't know. I think...
we'll just take it day by day.
You've been taking it
day by day for five years.
Min, birding instead
of finishing your dissertation.
Queer theory takes the joy
out of being gay.
You live in our garage.
Okay, you gotta commit
to something at some point.
God, we're fuckups.
Dick's!
Dick's!
I want to suck your dick.
I want more Dick's.
-Shh.
-Shh!
Shut up. Shut up, you fool.
Shut up.
Let's do it.
-...teenagers or something.
-I think so too.
Or that we were 50?
I can't tell.
-No in-between.
-No in-between.
Do it. I dare you.
Do what?
Mm.
No. Not again.
Will you marry me?
Min, I can't.
Not you.
I don't want to marry you
anymore.
I want to marry her.
Me?
What?
We're friends.
We help each other.
Okay.
I heard all about the IVF,
and I'm so, so sad.
But, until my grandfather
takes my money away,
I have so much money.
I want you to have some so you
and Lee can have a family.
So, I have a proposal.
You marry me, and I'll pay
for Lee to grow a baby.
You're joking, right?
He's joking, right?
I mean, it's... It's an idea.
A very good one.
No! This is absurd.
This is crazier
than you marrying me.
You left me no choice.
Okay, why is he proposing to me?
You marry him.
Hon, my entire career
is being gay.
I don't think we would clear
the green card interview.
I'm gay, too, remember?
Yeah, but you work
in a worm lab.
You don't talk to anyone.
I mean, you've been
with dudes before.
-Okay, I can't marry him.
-I can't either.
Neither of you are marrying
my boyfriend.
So, you do want to marry me?
No!
This is all very hard on my ego.
I'm still mad.
You look like a ghost.
You're drunk.
A hot, gay ghost.
Are you smiling under there?
Hmm?
Just give me a minute
to figure stuff out.
I will, I promise.
I just need some time.
Dad loved this house.
This is what he spent
his life savings on.
When he bought it, he, um...
He said, "Angeline.
"We're keeping Duwamish land
in Duwamish hands.
They can burn our longhouses,
but they can't make us leave.
This is ours forever."
And when we moved in, he said
this was gonna be my room.
If I ever had a kid,
it'd be their room someday too.
Well, it's a good room.
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
And it's a good house.
Yep.
Good house with a fat mortgage.
It's a home.
Hey, leave it.
What if I took up Min
on his offer?
Come on.
I'm serious. Stop.
Look, I marry Min, he gives us
the money for the IVF.
Angela.
You're not serious.
Look, I'm a hundred percent
serious.
He wants to help us.
We should help him.
Min needs his green card,
and Chris needs help too.
I mean, he needs time
to sort things out with Min.
-Look, I--
-No, I can't.
I can't ask you to do that.
If there's even
a one percent chance
that this could work...
I want you to try again.
Okay. Yes.
Yes... what?
I'll marry you.
You'll pay for Lee's IVF.
And I'll marry you.
Are you crying?
Oh!
Calm down?
How am I supposed to calm down?
Look at it this way.
It's for the cause.
We're helping a gay couple
stay together.
If they want to be together,
they can get married
themselves.
Why did I put years of activism
into gay marriage
-if this is what I get?
-You're getting a grandkid.
Play along until after Min
gets his green card. Okay?
Play along?
My own daughter marrying a man!
Oh.
Angela.
You look like shit.
Hey, how's that situation with
your landlord, by the way?
-Do you need my help?
-I'm fine. Stop babying me.
No, seriously, cuz.
You look like crap.
-I didn't get much sleep.
-Why?
This is the perfect solution
for you.
More limbo. More of
your millennial indecision.
Just staring at birds.
You get to maintain
your exquisitely
ambivalent relationship
to the best thing
that's ever happened to you.
You even get to co-parent,
or whatever,
without any
real responsibilities.
You think I'm being stupid?
I don't think
you're being stupid.
I just don't understand you.
If I say yes to Min,
then his whole world comes
crashing down,
and our whole relationship
with it.
And I couldn't handle that.
Okay?
Just don't overthink it.
You're kidding.
Delete all of them?
All of it.
Every Pride Parade photo.
Every National
Coming Out Day post.
Can I still post
Instagram stories?
Look, do you want grandchildren?
I'll delete Instagram now.
Thank you.
So, this is good.
When it's all over,
I'll have a whole new story
to tell at my meetings.
I'm just joking.
-Just joking.
-No. No, you're not.
This is all about you.
This has always been
all about you, hasn't it?
- Lee, tell her.
- Ms. Chen...
I wouldn't be doing any of this
if I didn't love you.
Why do you think it took me
so long to come out to you?
And after I did, you refused
to speak to me for years.
Anything to avoid the subject.
Anything to not be honest.
And then you suddenly
appear back in my life
as some kind of...
supermom.
You never acknowledged anything.
Or apologized.
Do you know how much
that hurt me?
I am making up for it.
God, I hate that people
give you awards.
I hate that people think
you're a good mother.
I hate that I feel like
I have to be grateful.
'Cause I'm not.
I guess I took your advice
and confronted things.
Yeah, you feel better?
No.
Maybe. I...
Now I feel kind of bad for her.
Yeah, well...
She needed to hear that.
You needed to say it.
Let's table this for when
we get home, huh?
What is it?
Surprise!
Oh, what is going on?
Well, you and Min are getting
married next week.
And I felt like celebrating
our final days as gays
before you become Mrs. Min Hyun.
This is your
bachelorette party.
This is so stupid.
Exactly. You get to be
that straight drunk girl
just rubbing up against all
the gay-for-pay go-go boys.
Guys, grab your shots.
- Who wants a double?
- Here you go.
Cheers, everyone!
Cheers!
I know this is stupid
and you're very smart.
But sometimes,
it's important to be stupid.
-Now, finish your drink.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, let's go, drink.
Hey, sleepyhead.
You wanna get going?
Not yet.
Hey, I was thinking.
Mm-hmm?
What if we took the money
and did something
really fun with it?
The IVF money?
Yeah.
Like, what if we traveled,
took time off, saw the world?
Just us.
Okay. You're drunk.
Okay, I'm drunk. So what?
What?
I'm sorry, I just...
We're doing this
because it's something
we both want, right?
No. Yeah. Yes.
But maybe
it's not the right time.
I just really like spending time
with you. You're so great.
And you've always
wanted to go to Europe.
No, I want a child.
I thought you wanted that too.
I mean, if it happens,
it happens.
No, not for gay people, honey.
I'm sorry.
Ang, where is this coming from?
I...
I'm gonna be a shitty mother.
Just like my mom.
And I don't want us to waste
our time and money and then
fuck up our relationship.
Lee, it's not worth it.
Okay, okay, look.
We can talk about your mom.
We can talk about
all the rest of this shit
in the morning, okay?
When we're both calm.
Stop. Stop. You are not
my fucking therapist.
Okay. I'm going home.
Marry me.
-What?
-Marry me.
Min. Please, come on.
It would be easier.
You and me.
What about Angela?
I already gave her the money.
Min. I told you--
You told me
you needed more time.
I gave you more time.
A week is not more time.
Then how much time do you need
to decide that you love me?
You tell me to be patient.
You promised me
we'll figure this out.
I never promised...
I'd marry you.
Min, wait. Wait, Min.
Let me explain. Hold on, wait.
I'm staying at the studio.
What did you do?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Where's Lee?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Bar.
Ever since I was
a little kid, she...
She's never seen me.
I see you.
I see you.
I see you.
-I'm never not gonna see you.
-I close my eyes and I see you.
Whoa!
Chris!
No! No!
Motherfucker!
Oh, shit.
Did we?
Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck!
Fuck!
Okay. How do we, um--
Process this?
We both had a shitty night.
Where we disappointed
our partners.
And we needed, um... comfort.
But we were both too drunk
to use our words.
So instead, we...
Boned?
Oh, God.
But we don't have any...
Romantic feelings for each other
because we're best friends
and we have no desire to--
Ever do this again!
Okay.
Oh, shit. It's Min.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Hey.
Uh... Uh-huh.
No. Yeah. I mean, yes.
No. Start over.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
I'm sorry. No, no, no.
Now I'm listening.
-Angela? Lee?
-Shh! Jesus. What is it?
Hold on, hold on.
I'm putting you on speaker.
Okay. It's Min.
Hello?
Hi. Uh, good morning, Angela.
-What's going on?
-I'm on my way to the airport.
Because Min's grandmother
flew in from Korea
to meet her future
granddaughter-in-law.
We gotta de-queer the house.
God, you have so much
lesbian literature.
Wait, wait. Min. Is your grandma
coming right now?
She called me from Customs.
It was a big surprise.
I'm sorry.
Just take her somewhere else.
Nowhere else.
She wants to meet you.
If my grandmother thinks
you're marrying me for money,
she'll blow the whole plan up.
Min, don't you think
you can just explain
the situation to her?
My grandmother and my gay...
Maybe she knows, but we never,
ever, ever say it.
My grandfather hates gays.
He's the biggest gay hater
in Korea.
-Jesus.
- Please!
We just need to fool her
for a few nights.
We'll go to city hall Friday,
get married, she goes home.
Everything's fine.
How much time do we got?
Forty-five minutes.
One hour, if there's traffic.
Thank you.
Okay.
What are we supposed to do,
exactly?
Move all your gay things
into the guest house.
-Seriously, why do we--
-Clean now, talk later, ladies.
Come on! Let's go, go, go!
Fine! Okay, okay.
No, no, no. No.
It ties the room together.
I don't think Min's grandma
will know that's lesbian.
The Indigo Girls are
surprisingly popular in Korea.
Huh.
You.
What?
You look gay.
Hmm.
Everything in this house is gay!
Honey, I'm home!
Honey?
I hear her.
I hear her. Get out of here.
Halmeoni, this is Angela.
It's so nice to meet you,
Mrs. Hyun.
Oh...
There are people in your garden.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Lee and Chris.
They're friends.
They're a couple?
Uh, yup. Yup. Mm-hmm.
He's very... elegant.
Have you picked a wedding date?
Yeah, we have an appointment
at the city hall on Friday.
Appointment?
What do you mean, appointment?
An appointment.
Getting your marriage license.
But when is your wedding?
Uh...
Angela and I decided
we don't want a ceremony.
No ceremony?
Yeah.
It's not important to us.
We just wanna get married
as quickly as possible.
Yes. While you're here.
And you can go back to Korea.
What is going on here?
What do you mean?
No ceremony?
What, is this sham marriage?
Halmeoni, this isn't a sham.
Do you love her?
Yes, of course. I love Angela.
-Um, can I--
-Really?
Oh, okay.
Of course.
She knows.
You're a couple?
Mm-hmm.
You want a baby?
Yeah.
And you two...
How long?
Five years.
What did she say?
She said we're dumb.
-Huh?
-What?
No wedding is too suspicious.
People will talk.
And Korean people
are very good at talking.
I do not want people
to talk about our family.
If your grandfather
hears that you are gay,
he will blame me,
and we'll have no money.
You must have a wedding.
For me.
A wedding.
Mrs. Hyun, I don't--
I promise.
How long is this gonna take?
Three weeks.
What do you think?
-Okay. Fine.
-Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you.
I'm fine.
Hey, can we talk about
last night?
No.
No, we actually
need to talk about it.
You can't cute
your way out of it.
Look, I was an asshole.
I'm sorry.
What was all that shit
you were saying?
Look, it wasn't shit.
It was all true.
I do wanna travel
the world with you.
And I do wanna spend
more time with you,
just the two of us.
And when the brat
goes off to college
or summer camp or whatever,
we are gonna fucking live it up.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm the sorry one.
For what?
I wasn't listening to you.
You told me you were not ready.
-No, Min. It's not--
-I have no expectation.
After this is all done,
we can talk.
But if you don't see
a future with me...
I can't make you.
Good night.
I know you've already
been through this.
Third time's a charm.
Anything worrying you,
any discomfort,
-you let us know.
-Okay.
We'll implant the embryos
one at a time.
This might be a little cold.
You got this, baby.
You got this. Okay?
Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee!
Hey.
I love you.
I love you, I love you.
I love you too.
Sorry.
-Sorry.
-No.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Jump on in.
-Thanks.
Yeah?
Hi, Angela.
Grandmother and I
were just talking about
our wedding plans and...
And?
Okay.
Kimchi!
Nice. Okay, kimchi!
Beautiful, Ms. Chen.
Can we have more light
in the front?
Okay. Wonderful.
Look at the lens.
Perfect. Cheese!
Cheese.
Excellent.
Let's try looking more in love.
Okay.
Right down the lens.
What are they talking about?
Us being gay.
-Oh.
-Oh.
No, Mom.
Like an Olympic athlete.
- I don't ski.
- Like in the Olympics.
Like this?
- Right over here.
- Okay, all right.
- Let's not smile.
- Is that okay?
Twist and turn.
That makes
your face look big.
Mom!
You're going down the slope.
There you go.
Let's get closer together.
How you feeling
about tomorrow?
Oh, I just need to get it
over with.
Come on. You can have
a little bit of fun with it.
-Fun?
-Mm-hmm.
You hate weddings.
Are you serious?
What are you talking about?
I love weddings.
Okay, but you're
just anti-marriage.
No, I'm anti-institution.
I am pro-celebration.
Seriously, weddings are...
Weddings are great.
They're culture.
They're...
They're heritage. They're...
Straight people.
They're cake.
You know?
A little "Cha Cha Slide."
They're exhausting.
Seriously, my mom's exhausting.
Everything is exhausting.
It's like... Ugh.
Except you.
You're not exhausting.
Mm-hmm.
I got some of your beans.
-Mmm.
-Eww.
- Come here.
- No. No!
-Yo, he's to your left.
-Oh.
-Headshot.
-Nice.
Apparently, as best man,
I would traditionally carry
a live goose to the ceremony.
Which is weirdly relevant
to my interests.
But now everyone
just uses wood carvings.
What about
an American buff goose?
They're super chill,
really docile.
I think it's more of
a health-code issue.
You know, livestock near food.
It's just gonna be a duck decoy.
You ever, even for a moment,
wish it was you
getting married to Min?
Not just the dick with the duck.
Very funny.
Hi.
This is yours. Was on the chair.
I hope it's okay.
Oh. Of course.
Please sit.
I did not know
you are also an artist.
Oh, it's just sketches.
It's a hobby.
Min tells me you attended
many prestigious schools.
Yeah. I guess I have.
Uh, but I'm taking a bit of
a break from grad school.
May I ask about your family?
It's just me and my parents.
Only child.
I wish Min
had a sister or brother.
It can be very hard alone.
There was a lot of expectation.
And it wasn't always
the easiest.
But my parents have come around.
Where are your parents?
They live in Kansas. Wichita.
Kansas.
The Wizard of Oz.
Many white people.
So many white people.
Please get some sleep.
Long day tomorrow.
Weird day.
Hey, best man.
Right over here.
Good. Hold up the duck.
You look like Amidala.
Who?
Padm Amidala.
Queen of Naboo.
Star Wars!
Natalie Portman.
You call yourself American?
What happens next?
Just follow my lead.
Many, many blessings
to you in your marriage.
Whatever the future
has in store for you,
I hope you find
happiness together.
Ready?
What's with the cheers?
It's supposed to represent
the numbers of sons
and daughters we'll have.
Oh.
Jesus. Big family.
Yeah.
-Which ones are which?
-What?
The jujubes and the chestnuts.
Are the chestnuts the sons
or the daughters?
Oh...
They'll have
15 non-binary children.
- Hmm.
- Rock on.
Almost over.
Okay.
Now the walk.
We do the lap now.
Ready?
Oh, my God!
Shut up. Come on.
-Do not drop me.
-Mm-mm.
I don't feel good.
Look at Min sweat.
All the way around.
Hurry up, I don't feel good.
I'm fine now.
Look, I hope
I didn't ruin things.
Everything's fine, don't worry.
Let me feel your forehead.
You're not hot.
Is it something you ate?
I don't think so.
Are any of the guests
still here?
Most of them cleared out pretty
quick after the puking ceremony.
I'm sorry.
Here.
Angela?
Hey.
Angela.
Mom.
I know I'm not a perfect mother,
but I've learned so much
from you.
You're probably not going to
be a perfect mother yourself.
But you will learn too.
Just like how I learned
from you.
If this is what you want.
Mom.
I'm a mess.
You are a miracle mess.
Don't forget that.
I love you, Angela.
I love you, Mom. I love you.
How are you feeling?
Are you okay?
Hey, um...
Can we talk in the guest house?
So...
This was...
Penis sperms,
not test-tube sperms.
That's one way to put it.
-Are you two...
-No.
God, no. It was just this once.
Unless you count
freshman orientation.
Wait. You were the top?
Not really sure who was where.
Um...
Are you sure it was even me?
Because to be honest,
I don't even remember being--
Don't be even more
of an asshole.
Even more of an asshole
than what?
Than me. Than us.
We're both assholes, asshole.
How do I tell my grandmother?
How do I tell Lee?
Tell me what?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Lee, wait.
- No, Ang.
- That's it.
- I can't handle this anymore.
- Lee!
Leave me alone
for a second.
Please. I'm sorry.
This is a pretty big
bomb to drop on somebody.
Just give me
a little bit of space!
Lee, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you about Chris.
Wait!
Please, listen to me.
Ang, I don't need
to hear any more details.
Come on. Can we
just talk about this?
Please. Where are you going?
Lee!
He broke up with you?
No.
-I broke up with him.
-What?
He said he wants to figure
this out.
-I just don't know how.
-Chris.
You're an idiot.
You're telling me
that he loves you so much,
he's going through with this
even after you knocked me up?
Just so that he can stay
and be with you?
Do you know how absurd that is?
Exactly. He's wasting his time.
What?
No, that's not what I meant.
I'll be back
for the rest of my things.
Chris. What--
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Angela?
I'm back.
Angela was not hungry.
She's sleeping now.
-May I?
-Sure.
Have a seat, please.
Mmm.
Delicious.
Min's favorite dish.
You're such a good cook.
Wedding leftover.
Alcohol?
Very.
What shall we toast?
To the bride and groom?
What happens now?
No idea.
Lee's fertility clinic
follow-up is today.
Are you going to go with her?
She's not answering her texts.
Mom.
What if her IVF doesn't work?
Angela.
What if she doesn't come back,
Mom?
-Hmm.
-Oh.
HYUN'S GRANDSON
MARRIES PRIVATELY IN SEATTLE
We've already done
the embarrassing part.
Min just needs the license.
Anyway, that's...
not why I asked to see you.
Oh.
When I was throwing up...
again
this morning, you know, I was
staring into the toilet bowl,
just kind of meditating, and...
Uh...
I just realized that...
Yeah.
Maybe...
You mean, I'm gonna be...
a dad?
Maybe?
Oh, Jesus.
I don't know.
-What don't you know?
-Everything.
It's your decision to make,
but aren't you worried
that the kid
is gonna end up like me?
I'm worried the kid's
gonna end up like me!
Look, we fucked up.
We're lost. Fine.
But whatever decision
I make about this baby,
I'm gonna make it.
I will make the decision.
Maybe it's time you made
some decisions of your own.
You all right?
I make decisions.
I make decisions all the time.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
When I'm done
cleaning your apartment,
I'm gonna play
all the Kingdom Hearts
in-between games, including
the one made exclusively
for Verizon subscribers.
Then, when I'm done with that,
maybe I'll dive back in
and finish my dissertation.
How's that for getting
my shit together?
I think Angela
was talking about Min.
I love Min.
I love Min too much
to let him down.
Or fuck things up.
Or hurt him more
than I already have.
He is so good...
and I am not good enough.
When I moved here because of
all that shit with our family,
I felt kinda bad
'cause, like,
it seemed like you put
your life on hold.
That's not true.
Just know that you can take
all this time and energy
and focus on you,
'cause I'm good now.
Because of you.
And Angela and Lee and Min.
None of us are
good enough alone.
I don't think you should be
scared about being a dad.
Because you've been
a really good one to me.
Love you, cuz.
Love you too.
- For richer, for poorer.
- For richer, for poorer.
In sickness and in health,
till death do us part.
In sickness and in health,
till death do us part.
Rings?
Under the authority vested in me
by the state of Washington,
I now pronounce you married.
You may kiss.
Up next, Hyun-Chen.
Sir, do I have to stand
on this side or that side?
It doesn't matter.
If there's anyone here
who can show just cause
why these two should
not be legally married,
speak now or hereafter
hold their peace.
Great.
Repeat after me. I, Min Hyun.
I, Min Hyun...
Oh, my God, no.
-Uh...
-Hey.
Hey.
Chris.
What's going on here?
Min...
Yes, I'll marry you!
-I have a whole--
-I don't care!
Yes, yes, I'll marry you!
Yeah! Whoo!
Will you be
my lion-dance partner?
Nice. He's all yours.
Okay. We're ready.
I, Min Hyun...
Hold on a second.
I know, confusing, right?
Uh, I don't want to marry
her anymore.
I want to marry him.
You're okay with that?
Yeah. He's my best friend.
And actually, she's pregnant
with my baby.
I, Min Hyun...
It... It doesn't quite
work like that.
See, it's got her name on it.
ID.
What?
Gay lover, baby daddy.
Identification.
Oh, totally. Sure.
Let's go.
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
-Oh.
-May Chen.
-I'm happy for you.
-Thank you.
Let's have a Chinese wedding.
No!
All right, let's get
this show on the road.
Which side
do I stand on?
It really doesn't matter.
I, Min Hyun...
No. It's Halmeoni.
-Halmeoni.
-Yeah.
-Halmeoni.
-Harmony?
H-A-L-M-O...
I'll get the champagne.
Halmeoni.
N-I. Ni.
- Yeah, right.
- Ni. Ni.
- Say it.
- Halmeoni.
Great.
Can you say "in love"?
I love you,
I love you, I love you.
I love you,
I love you, I love you.
Hi, it's okay.
Hi. Hello.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh.
Ow, fuck!
It's okay.
-Uh-oh.
-It's okay.
What time is it?
I'm sorry.
Oh. Hi, honey. Hi.
-Oh, I love you.
-Oh, rough night, huh?
Rough night too.
Aww.
Big drama on the baby monitor.
Everyone okay?
Min, just go back to sleep.
It's my turn to warm
the bottles.
This one needs a change.
Aww.
Wait.
Before anything, group hug.
Sure.
Aww.
-I got you.
-Okay. Let's go.
Welcome to the 15th annual
Seattle API LGBTQIA+
Equality Gala!
Breathe.
Seattle,
how y'all doing tonight?
Jeffrey?
Lady Shu Mai.
Ma.
Let's dance! Whoo!
It's giving mother. Come on!
Yas, queen.
Angela!
Angela! Come up here.
The next award goes to one of
the most tireless advocates
for the LGBTQ Asian-American
community here in Seattle.
One of the founding members
of API PFLAG,
she has volunteered countless
hours to our language hotline
and fried up countless scallion
pancakes for our meetings.
This year's recipient
of the
Christina Cho Ally Award is...
May Chen.
Thank you, Marshall.
Thank you, everyone.
When Angela's father
passed away,
I knew it was my responsibility
to protect Angela.
When she came out to me, I knew
I had to be there for her.
I had to be the best mother
and love her unconditionally,
no matter what.
Parenthood is an invitation--
You should come to
the PFLAG meetings.
I've invited her.
She never wants to come.
Your mother
has told us everything.
Like the time she found you
looking at lesbian porn,
and you told her it was
for a figure drawing class.
Yeah.
Oh. Have you met Lee?
Angela's partner.
-Hi.
-Oh, hi.
She's the executive director
of the Hometown Pride
Social Services.
Oh, I have heard so much
about you.
Oh, I'm sure you have.
Susan, did I tell you I'm gonna
be a grandmother soon?
So exciting!
-Yes.
-Ma.
Lee did IVF.
The donor is Taiwanese.
He went to Yale.
He's a cardiologist.
-His sperm was very expensive.
-Oh.
Well, my implantation
was a couple of weeks ago,
so we don't know for sure yet.
But it seems good, right?
I mean,
we're cautiously optimistic.
Just managing expectations.
The first time didn't work out.
The first time never works.
I told her not to talk about it,
and I just don't want her
to jinx it.
It's okay. It's fine.
She's just excited.
So am I.
I know it's scary,
but we have to let ourselves
hope a little bit.
I hope the baby has your nose.
It's my mama's nose.
I'd like that.
I hope the baby has your eyes.
You know it's not my sperm.
I can still hope.
Why am I here?
Uh, you're here to appreciate
the work
and celebrate your boyfriend.
Second question.
Why are you here?
For the free food and booze.
And to hang out with my cousin.
Thanks.
Last question.
Your social anxiety
is killing my vibe.
Joke's on you.
My anxiety is generalized.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Hi! You survived.
Oh, barely.
Oh, thank God.
Oh. How'd it go?
Well, it was classic May Chen.
Triggering.
- Wow.
- Babe.
I've not seen you
do that since...
...freshman orientation.
Freshman orientation?
Oh, you know,
when these two confused
little idiots--
Started their codependent
relationship with a bang.
Right.
I can't believe
you guys fucked.
What do you think?
I'm going to her place.
Hmm. I can't tell behind
all the hair and leather.
It's my type.
Is it cool if I bounce?
Yeah. Just text after,
so I know you're safe.
-I'll be fine.
-Text me.
Okay.
This hot mess is all yours.
Bye, babes. Mwah.
Kind of a mean thing to say
to your cousin.
Whatever. Peace!
Let's go see
some student art.
Wow.
He made these?
Isn't that wild?
Fuck, yeah, Min.
I'm not being polite.
I really love these.
-That one's my favorite.
-Mm.
Oh, I love this too.
You left me.
You looked busy.
Never too busy for you.
-Thank you for coming.
-Aww, of course.
Min, it's so beautiful.
Seattle, how we doing tonight?
We could have carpooled.
We love you, Shu Mai!
-And lions!
-Woo-hoo!
Go! Wait, now you do
the blinking.
Yes!
That's perfect.
Did you see that little twitch?
Oh, my God.
Why am I always the butt?
Beautiful.
You know, this baby
is gonna change everything.
No more late nights.
No, there's gonna be
plenty of late nights.
Just not like this one.
Chris and I will be
very good guncles.
We can babysit anytime.
-Yeah?
-I'll teach the baby art
and Chris
will change the diapers.
Poop? You're giving me poop?
Oh, my God!
-Good night.
-Good night.
See ya tomorrow.
So, what do you wanna
watch tonight?
Housewives.
-Ooh. Which city?
-Hm, any of them.
Oh, vintage Beverly Hills
with Camille Grammer.
Eww. Slimy.
Hey, that's expensive stuff.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Hey, birders. There's
a heron by the yellow irises.
And a wood duck drake
swimming by.
You'll notice the white line
extending below the bill
and also above the eyes.
You mean the squealer ducks.
Yes. They are also
called squealers.
You are so cute.
Do you have a boyfriend?
You should have a boyfriend.
I've got a nephew that
I'm pretty sure is gay.
Okay, group, let's keep
migrating down this way.
Maybe he's pansexual.
I think I saw
some wrens.
Oh, shit!
Hey. What's up?
I just tried to use
the Discover card to get coffee.
Remember, we consolidated
that into the Visa.
We have to pay
for this parenthood thing.
Right.
Yep. Just cut it up.
I'm cutting it up.
Feeding it to your worms.
They're moth larvae,
and they're busy
recycling polyethylene.
Not sure their saliva breaks
down PVC.
Okay, well,
you get back to saving
the world.
Love you.
I love you, I love you,
I love you.
Hey, would you check on Kenneth?
He needs an agency referral
for the downtown shelter.
I don't think he's 18 yet.
You got it.
So...?
Do you feel any different?
I don't know.
Do I seem different?
Yeah. It's exciting.
You are gonna be a great mother.
I guess maybe this one
feels a little different.
Hey, Chris. Morning.
Ahh! What the hell?
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
I'm sorry
this one didn't stick.
Is there anything wrong?
All the tests look good.
But of course, age
may be playing a factor here.
It's not unusual for IVF
to take a few goes at it.
If you want to try again.
Just know
that we don't recommend
more than three treatments.
It's difficult for the patient.
We can try again.
We can't afford it.
We'll save up.
That could take us years.
I don't have years.
We can take out another
mortgage on the house.
I'm not taking out
another mortgage
just to have another failed IVF.
Okay? I can't handle that.
What if you did the IVF?
What?
No, this is important to you.
This is your thing.
I mean, this is important to us.
I wanna have a family with you.
You're younger,
so you have more time.
Look, it just feels selfish.
Pregnancy is something
you wanted to experience,
-not me.
-I'm sorry.
Are you saying
that I'm being selfish
-for wanting to be pregnant?
-I'm not saying anything.
It's just that...
Can you just drop it?
Would you fucking turn around?
Ang, you can't treat me
like your mom.
What the hell does that mean?
It means that you can be
honest with me
about what you're feeling,
what you want.
You don't have to simmer
and not confront anything.
Like your mom's speech
at the Gala.
What?
Nothing. I...
-I'm simmering.
-God! Can you please--
That is my way
of confronting things.
-Oh, my God!
-People confronting--
What the hell?
Min, stop throwing things.
Oh, my God.
No!
Why don't you believe me?
What are you so scared of?
-Min. Min.
-What is going on?
Min proposed.
Oh, my God!
It's Cartier. Congratulations.
Uh...
I tell you how much
you mean to me.
-How much I--
-Bullshit!
Tell them why
you really proposed.
I proposed because I love you.
Because I want to be
your husband.
Because his OPT visa runs out
in a few months
and he doesn't wanna go
back to Korea.
No! You're making this up.
Your grandmother just threatened
to yank you back to Korea.
I bought the ring before.
It's just...
weird timing.
I'm not gonna marry you
so you can get a green card.
Oh, fuck green card!
I don't even want to be
an American.
Your trains are so slow,
and I never know
how much to tip.
What about your family?
You come out, they cut you off.
We'll talk to you later.
No. Stay.
Look, I am not gonna
be responsible
for you losing your money.
I am not gonna be responsible
for you being disowned
by your family.
And I am not gonna be
responsible for
whatever the fuck apocalyptic
coming out party
you have planned for yourself.
It's too much!
Chris.
I love you.
Isn't my proposal...
throwing everything away...
proof of that?
Oh, that's beautiful.
-Babe.
-It's romantic.
There are other ways for you
to stay in the country
while you sort your life out.
You could enroll online at UW
and take a Photoshop class.
Or learn Google Sheets.
That'll buy you a year
to figure--
I don't want a year!
I told you, I want a life.
And I'm already so good
at Google Sheets!
You shit-talk me
in front of our friends.
Disrespect our relationship.
As if a stupid green card
is the only thing
I ever wanted from you.
Wait, Min. Hold on.
I only asked you to marry me...
because I thought
you would say yes.
Oh, my God.
You two are the same.
Just say something.
Min!
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
We knew it would be difficult.
Is Lee gonna try again?
I don't think so.
The expectation.
The disappointment.
It was really hard on her.
You know, she asked me
if I would do it.
What? The IVF?
-Weird.
-I know.
Lee, I can see pregnant.
Min, I can see pregnant.
But you?
I... whatever.
Doesn't matter
if it's Lee or me.
'Cause we don't have the money.
So...
Lee would be such a good mom.
So would you.
You have mother issues.
It's not the same thing
as motherhood issues.
Yeah, it actually is.
So, are you gonna do long
distance with Min in Korea?
Uh... I don't know. I think...
we'll just take it day by day.
You've been taking it
day by day for five years.
Min, birding instead
of finishing your dissertation.
Queer theory takes the joy
out of being gay.
You live in our garage.
Okay, you gotta commit
to something at some point.
God, we're fuckups.
Dick's!
Dick's!
I want to suck your dick.
I want more Dick's.
-Shh.
-Shh!
Shut up. Shut up, you fool.
Shut up.
Let's do it.
-...teenagers or something.
-I think so too.
Or that we were 50?
I can't tell.
-No in-between.
-No in-between.
Do it. I dare you.
Do what?
Mm.
No. Not again.
Will you marry me?
Min, I can't.
Not you.
I don't want to marry you
anymore.
I want to marry her.
Me?
What?
We're friends.
We help each other.
Okay.
I heard all about the IVF,
and I'm so, so sad.
But, until my grandfather
takes my money away,
I have so much money.
I want you to have some so you
and Lee can have a family.
So, I have a proposal.
You marry me, and I'll pay
for Lee to grow a baby.
You're joking, right?
He's joking, right?
I mean, it's... It's an idea.
A very good one.
No! This is absurd.
This is crazier
than you marrying me.
You left me no choice.
Okay, why is he proposing to me?
You marry him.
Hon, my entire career
is being gay.
I don't think we would clear
the green card interview.
I'm gay, too, remember?
Yeah, but you work
in a worm lab.
You don't talk to anyone.
I mean, you've been
with dudes before.
-Okay, I can't marry him.
-I can't either.
Neither of you are marrying
my boyfriend.
So, you do want to marry me?
No!
This is all very hard on my ego.
I'm still mad.
You look like a ghost.
You're drunk.
A hot, gay ghost.
Are you smiling under there?
Hmm?
Just give me a minute
to figure stuff out.
I will, I promise.
I just need some time.
Dad loved this house.
This is what he spent
his life savings on.
When he bought it, he, um...
He said, "Angeline.
"We're keeping Duwamish land
in Duwamish hands.
They can burn our longhouses,
but they can't make us leave.
This is ours forever."
And when we moved in, he said
this was gonna be my room.
If I ever had a kid,
it'd be their room someday too.
Well, it's a good room.
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
And it's a good house.
Yep.
Good house with a fat mortgage.
It's a home.
Hey, leave it.
What if I took up Min
on his offer?
Come on.
I'm serious. Stop.
Look, I marry Min, he gives us
the money for the IVF.
Angela.
You're not serious.
Look, I'm a hundred percent
serious.
He wants to help us.
We should help him.
Min needs his green card,
and Chris needs help too.
I mean, he needs time
to sort things out with Min.
-Look, I--
-No, I can't.
I can't ask you to do that.
If there's even
a one percent chance
that this could work...
I want you to try again.
Okay. Yes.
Yes... what?
I'll marry you.
You'll pay for Lee's IVF.
And I'll marry you.
Are you crying?
Oh!
Calm down?
How am I supposed to calm down?
Look at it this way.
It's for the cause.
We're helping a gay couple
stay together.
If they want to be together,
they can get married
themselves.
Why did I put years of activism
into gay marriage
-if this is what I get?
-You're getting a grandkid.
Play along until after Min
gets his green card. Okay?
Play along?
My own daughter marrying a man!
Oh.
Angela.
You look like shit.
Hey, how's that situation with
your landlord, by the way?
-Do you need my help?
-I'm fine. Stop babying me.
No, seriously, cuz.
You look like crap.
-I didn't get much sleep.
-Why?
This is the perfect solution
for you.
More limbo. More of
your millennial indecision.
Just staring at birds.
You get to maintain
your exquisitely
ambivalent relationship
to the best thing
that's ever happened to you.
You even get to co-parent,
or whatever,
without any
real responsibilities.
You think I'm being stupid?
I don't think
you're being stupid.
I just don't understand you.
If I say yes to Min,
then his whole world comes
crashing down,
and our whole relationship
with it.
And I couldn't handle that.
Okay?
Just don't overthink it.
You're kidding.
Delete all of them?
All of it.
Every Pride Parade photo.
Every National
Coming Out Day post.
Can I still post
Instagram stories?
Look, do you want grandchildren?
I'll delete Instagram now.
Thank you.
So, this is good.
When it's all over,
I'll have a whole new story
to tell at my meetings.
I'm just joking.
-Just joking.
-No. No, you're not.
This is all about you.
This has always been
all about you, hasn't it?
- Lee, tell her.
- Ms. Chen...
I wouldn't be doing any of this
if I didn't love you.
Why do you think it took me
so long to come out to you?
And after I did, you refused
to speak to me for years.
Anything to avoid the subject.
Anything to not be honest.
And then you suddenly
appear back in my life
as some kind of...
supermom.
You never acknowledged anything.
Or apologized.
Do you know how much
that hurt me?
I am making up for it.
God, I hate that people
give you awards.
I hate that people think
you're a good mother.
I hate that I feel like
I have to be grateful.
'Cause I'm not.
I guess I took your advice
and confronted things.
Yeah, you feel better?
No.
Maybe. I...
Now I feel kind of bad for her.
Yeah, well...
She needed to hear that.
You needed to say it.
Let's table this for when
we get home, huh?
What is it?
Surprise!
Oh, what is going on?
Well, you and Min are getting
married next week.
And I felt like celebrating
our final days as gays
before you become Mrs. Min Hyun.
This is your
bachelorette party.
This is so stupid.
Exactly. You get to be
that straight drunk girl
just rubbing up against all
the gay-for-pay go-go boys.
Guys, grab your shots.
- Who wants a double?
- Here you go.
Cheers, everyone!
Cheers!
I know this is stupid
and you're very smart.
But sometimes,
it's important to be stupid.
-Now, finish your drink.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, let's go, drink.
Hey, sleepyhead.
You wanna get going?
Not yet.
Hey, I was thinking.
Mm-hmm?
What if we took the money
and did something
really fun with it?
The IVF money?
Yeah.
Like, what if we traveled,
took time off, saw the world?
Just us.
Okay. You're drunk.
Okay, I'm drunk. So what?
What?
I'm sorry, I just...
We're doing this
because it's something
we both want, right?
No. Yeah. Yes.
But maybe
it's not the right time.
I just really like spending time
with you. You're so great.
And you've always
wanted to go to Europe.
No, I want a child.
I thought you wanted that too.
I mean, if it happens,
it happens.
No, not for gay people, honey.
I'm sorry.
Ang, where is this coming from?
I...
I'm gonna be a shitty mother.
Just like my mom.
And I don't want us to waste
our time and money and then
fuck up our relationship.
Lee, it's not worth it.
Okay, okay, look.
We can talk about your mom.
We can talk about
all the rest of this shit
in the morning, okay?
When we're both calm.
Stop. Stop. You are not
my fucking therapist.
Okay. I'm going home.
Marry me.
-What?
-Marry me.
Min. Please, come on.
It would be easier.
You and me.
What about Angela?
I already gave her the money.
Min. I told you--
You told me
you needed more time.
I gave you more time.
A week is not more time.
Then how much time do you need
to decide that you love me?
You tell me to be patient.
You promised me
we'll figure this out.
I never promised...
I'd marry you.
Min, wait. Wait, Min.
Let me explain. Hold on, wait.
I'm staying at the studio.
What did you do?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Where's Lee?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Bar.
Ever since I was
a little kid, she...
She's never seen me.
I see you.
I see you.
I see you.
-I'm never not gonna see you.
-I close my eyes and I see you.
Whoa!
Chris!
No! No!
Motherfucker!
Oh, shit.
Did we?
Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck!
Fuck!
Okay. How do we, um--
Process this?
We both had a shitty night.
Where we disappointed
our partners.
And we needed, um... comfort.
But we were both too drunk
to use our words.
So instead, we...
Boned?
Oh, God.
But we don't have any...
Romantic feelings for each other
because we're best friends
and we have no desire to--
Ever do this again!
Okay.
Oh, shit. It's Min.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Hey.
Uh... Uh-huh.
No. Yeah. I mean, yes.
No. Start over.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
I'm sorry. No, no, no.
Now I'm listening.
-Angela? Lee?
-Shh! Jesus. What is it?
Hold on, hold on.
I'm putting you on speaker.
Okay. It's Min.
Hello?
Hi. Uh, good morning, Angela.
-What's going on?
-I'm on my way to the airport.
Because Min's grandmother
flew in from Korea
to meet her future
granddaughter-in-law.
We gotta de-queer the house.
God, you have so much
lesbian literature.
Wait, wait. Min. Is your grandma
coming right now?
She called me from Customs.
It was a big surprise.
I'm sorry.
Just take her somewhere else.
Nowhere else.
She wants to meet you.
If my grandmother thinks
you're marrying me for money,
she'll blow the whole plan up.
Min, don't you think
you can just explain
the situation to her?
My grandmother and my gay...
Maybe she knows, but we never,
ever, ever say it.
My grandfather hates gays.
He's the biggest gay hater
in Korea.
-Jesus.
- Please!
We just need to fool her
for a few nights.
We'll go to city hall Friday,
get married, she goes home.
Everything's fine.
How much time do we got?
Forty-five minutes.
One hour, if there's traffic.
Thank you.
Okay.
What are we supposed to do,
exactly?
Move all your gay things
into the guest house.
-Seriously, why do we--
-Clean now, talk later, ladies.
Come on! Let's go, go, go!
Fine! Okay, okay.
No, no, no. No.
It ties the room together.
I don't think Min's grandma
will know that's lesbian.
The Indigo Girls are
surprisingly popular in Korea.
Huh.
You.
What?
You look gay.
Hmm.
Everything in this house is gay!
Honey, I'm home!
Honey?
I hear her.
I hear her. Get out of here.
Halmeoni, this is Angela.
It's so nice to meet you,
Mrs. Hyun.
Oh...
There are people in your garden.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Lee and Chris.
They're friends.
They're a couple?
Uh, yup. Yup. Mm-hmm.
He's very... elegant.
Have you picked a wedding date?
Yeah, we have an appointment
at the city hall on Friday.
Appointment?
What do you mean, appointment?
An appointment.
Getting your marriage license.
But when is your wedding?
Uh...
Angela and I decided
we don't want a ceremony.
No ceremony?
Yeah.
It's not important to us.
We just wanna get married
as quickly as possible.
Yes. While you're here.
And you can go back to Korea.
What is going on here?
What do you mean?
No ceremony?
What, is this sham marriage?
Halmeoni, this isn't a sham.
Do you love her?
Yes, of course. I love Angela.
-Um, can I--
-Really?
Oh, okay.
Of course.
She knows.
You're a couple?
Mm-hmm.
You want a baby?
Yeah.
And you two...
How long?
Five years.
What did she say?
She said we're dumb.
-Huh?
-What?
No wedding is too suspicious.
People will talk.
And Korean people
are very good at talking.
I do not want people
to talk about our family.
If your grandfather
hears that you are gay,
he will blame me,
and we'll have no money.
You must have a wedding.
For me.
A wedding.
Mrs. Hyun, I don't--
I promise.
How long is this gonna take?
Three weeks.
What do you think?
-Okay. Fine.
-Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you.
I'm fine.
Hey, can we talk about
last night?
No.
No, we actually
need to talk about it.
You can't cute
your way out of it.
Look, I was an asshole.
I'm sorry.
What was all that shit
you were saying?
Look, it wasn't shit.
It was all true.
I do wanna travel
the world with you.
And I do wanna spend
more time with you,
just the two of us.
And when the brat
goes off to college
or summer camp or whatever,
we are gonna fucking live it up.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm the sorry one.
For what?
I wasn't listening to you.
You told me you were not ready.
-No, Min. It's not--
-I have no expectation.
After this is all done,
we can talk.
But if you don't see
a future with me...
I can't make you.
Good night.
I know you've already
been through this.
Third time's a charm.
Anything worrying you,
any discomfort,
-you let us know.
-Okay.
We'll implant the embryos
one at a time.
This might be a little cold.
You got this, baby.
You got this. Okay?
Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee!
Hey.
I love you.
I love you, I love you.
I love you too.
Sorry.
-Sorry.
-No.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Jump on in.
-Thanks.
Yeah?
Hi, Angela.
Grandmother and I
were just talking about
our wedding plans and...
And?
Okay.
Kimchi!
Nice. Okay, kimchi!
Beautiful, Ms. Chen.
Can we have more light
in the front?
Okay. Wonderful.
Look at the lens.
Perfect. Cheese!
Cheese.
Excellent.
Let's try looking more in love.
Okay.
Right down the lens.
What are they talking about?
Us being gay.
-Oh.
-Oh.
No, Mom.
Like an Olympic athlete.
- I don't ski.
- Like in the Olympics.
Like this?
- Right over here.
- Okay, all right.
- Let's not smile.
- Is that okay?
Twist and turn.
That makes
your face look big.
Mom!
You're going down the slope.
There you go.
Let's get closer together.
How you feeling
about tomorrow?
Oh, I just need to get it
over with.
Come on. You can have
a little bit of fun with it.
-Fun?
-Mm-hmm.
You hate weddings.
Are you serious?
What are you talking about?
I love weddings.
Okay, but you're
just anti-marriage.
No, I'm anti-institution.
I am pro-celebration.
Seriously, weddings are...
Weddings are great.
They're culture.
They're...
They're heritage. They're...
Straight people.
They're cake.
You know?
A little "Cha Cha Slide."
They're exhausting.
Seriously, my mom's exhausting.
Everything is exhausting.
It's like... Ugh.
Except you.
You're not exhausting.
Mm-hmm.
I got some of your beans.
-Mmm.
-Eww.
- Come here.
- No. No!
-Yo, he's to your left.
-Oh.
-Headshot.
-Nice.
Apparently, as best man,
I would traditionally carry
a live goose to the ceremony.
Which is weirdly relevant
to my interests.
But now everyone
just uses wood carvings.
What about
an American buff goose?
They're super chill,
really docile.
I think it's more of
a health-code issue.
You know, livestock near food.
It's just gonna be a duck decoy.
You ever, even for a moment,
wish it was you
getting married to Min?
Not just the dick with the duck.
Very funny.
Hi.
This is yours. Was on the chair.
I hope it's okay.
Oh. Of course.
Please sit.
I did not know
you are also an artist.
Oh, it's just sketches.
It's a hobby.
Min tells me you attended
many prestigious schools.
Yeah. I guess I have.
Uh, but I'm taking a bit of
a break from grad school.
May I ask about your family?
It's just me and my parents.
Only child.
I wish Min
had a sister or brother.
It can be very hard alone.
There was a lot of expectation.
And it wasn't always
the easiest.
But my parents have come around.
Where are your parents?
They live in Kansas. Wichita.
Kansas.
The Wizard of Oz.
Many white people.
So many white people.
Please get some sleep.
Long day tomorrow.
Weird day.
Hey, best man.
Right over here.
Good. Hold up the duck.
You look like Amidala.
Who?
Padm Amidala.
Queen of Naboo.
Star Wars!
Natalie Portman.
You call yourself American?
What happens next?
Just follow my lead.
Many, many blessings
to you in your marriage.
Whatever the future
has in store for you,
I hope you find
happiness together.
Ready?
What's with the cheers?
It's supposed to represent
the numbers of sons
and daughters we'll have.
Oh.
Jesus. Big family.
Yeah.
-Which ones are which?
-What?
The jujubes and the chestnuts.
Are the chestnuts the sons
or the daughters?
Oh...
They'll have
15 non-binary children.
- Hmm.
- Rock on.
Almost over.
Okay.
Now the walk.
We do the lap now.
Ready?
Oh, my God!
Shut up. Come on.
-Do not drop me.
-Mm-mm.
I don't feel good.
Look at Min sweat.
All the way around.
Hurry up, I don't feel good.
I'm fine now.
Look, I hope
I didn't ruin things.
Everything's fine, don't worry.
Let me feel your forehead.
You're not hot.
Is it something you ate?
I don't think so.
Are any of the guests
still here?
Most of them cleared out pretty
quick after the puking ceremony.
I'm sorry.
Here.
Angela?
Hey.
Angela.
Mom.
I know I'm not a perfect mother,
but I've learned so much
from you.
You're probably not going to
be a perfect mother yourself.
But you will learn too.
Just like how I learned
from you.
If this is what you want.
Mom.
I'm a mess.
You are a miracle mess.
Don't forget that.
I love you, Angela.
I love you, Mom. I love you.
How are you feeling?
Are you okay?
Hey, um...
Can we talk in the guest house?
So...
This was...
Penis sperms,
not test-tube sperms.
That's one way to put it.
-Are you two...
-No.
God, no. It was just this once.
Unless you count
freshman orientation.
Wait. You were the top?
Not really sure who was where.
Um...
Are you sure it was even me?
Because to be honest,
I don't even remember being--
Don't be even more
of an asshole.
Even more of an asshole
than what?
Than me. Than us.
We're both assholes, asshole.
How do I tell my grandmother?
How do I tell Lee?
Tell me what?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Lee, wait.
- No, Ang.
- That's it.
- I can't handle this anymore.
- Lee!
Leave me alone
for a second.
Please. I'm sorry.
This is a pretty big
bomb to drop on somebody.
Just give me
a little bit of space!
Lee, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you about Chris.
Wait!
Please, listen to me.
Ang, I don't need
to hear any more details.
Come on. Can we
just talk about this?
Please. Where are you going?
Lee!
He broke up with you?
No.
-I broke up with him.
-What?
He said he wants to figure
this out.
-I just don't know how.
-Chris.
You're an idiot.
You're telling me
that he loves you so much,
he's going through with this
even after you knocked me up?
Just so that he can stay
and be with you?
Do you know how absurd that is?
Exactly. He's wasting his time.
What?
No, that's not what I meant.
I'll be back
for the rest of my things.
Chris. What--
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Angela?
I'm back.
Angela was not hungry.
She's sleeping now.
-May I?
-Sure.
Have a seat, please.
Mmm.
Delicious.
Min's favorite dish.
You're such a good cook.
Wedding leftover.
Alcohol?
Very.
What shall we toast?
To the bride and groom?
What happens now?
No idea.
Lee's fertility clinic
follow-up is today.
Are you going to go with her?
She's not answering her texts.
Mom.
What if her IVF doesn't work?
Angela.
What if she doesn't come back,
Mom?
-Hmm.
-Oh.
HYUN'S GRANDSON
MARRIES PRIVATELY IN SEATTLE
We've already done
the embarrassing part.
Min just needs the license.
Anyway, that's...
not why I asked to see you.
Oh.
When I was throwing up...
again
this morning, you know, I was
staring into the toilet bowl,
just kind of meditating, and...
Uh...
I just realized that...
Yeah.
Maybe...
You mean, I'm gonna be...
a dad?
Maybe?
Oh, Jesus.
I don't know.
-What don't you know?
-Everything.
It's your decision to make,
but aren't you worried
that the kid
is gonna end up like me?
I'm worried the kid's
gonna end up like me!
Look, we fucked up.
We're lost. Fine.
But whatever decision
I make about this baby,
I'm gonna make it.
I will make the decision.
Maybe it's time you made
some decisions of your own.
You all right?
I make decisions.
I make decisions all the time.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
When I'm done
cleaning your apartment,
I'm gonna play
all the Kingdom Hearts
in-between games, including
the one made exclusively
for Verizon subscribers.
Then, when I'm done with that,
maybe I'll dive back in
and finish my dissertation.
How's that for getting
my shit together?
I think Angela
was talking about Min.
I love Min.
I love Min too much
to let him down.
Or fuck things up.
Or hurt him more
than I already have.
He is so good...
and I am not good enough.
When I moved here because of
all that shit with our family,
I felt kinda bad
'cause, like,
it seemed like you put
your life on hold.
That's not true.
Just know that you can take
all this time and energy
and focus on you,
'cause I'm good now.
Because of you.
And Angela and Lee and Min.
None of us are
good enough alone.
I don't think you should be
scared about being a dad.
Because you've been
a really good one to me.
Love you, cuz.
Love you too.
- For richer, for poorer.
- For richer, for poorer.
In sickness and in health,
till death do us part.
In sickness and in health,
till death do us part.
Rings?
Under the authority vested in me
by the state of Washington,
I now pronounce you married.
You may kiss.
Up next, Hyun-Chen.
Sir, do I have to stand
on this side or that side?
It doesn't matter.
If there's anyone here
who can show just cause
why these two should
not be legally married,
speak now or hereafter
hold their peace.
Great.
Repeat after me. I, Min Hyun.
I, Min Hyun...
Oh, my God, no.
-Uh...
-Hey.
Hey.
Chris.
What's going on here?
Min...
Yes, I'll marry you!
-I have a whole--
-I don't care!
Yes, yes, I'll marry you!
Yeah! Whoo!
Will you be
my lion-dance partner?
Nice. He's all yours.
Okay. We're ready.
I, Min Hyun...
Hold on a second.
I know, confusing, right?
Uh, I don't want to marry
her anymore.
I want to marry him.
You're okay with that?
Yeah. He's my best friend.
And actually, she's pregnant
with my baby.
I, Min Hyun...
It... It doesn't quite
work like that.
See, it's got her name on it.
ID.
What?
Gay lover, baby daddy.
Identification.
Oh, totally. Sure.
Let's go.
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
-Oh.
-May Chen.
-I'm happy for you.
-Thank you.
Let's have a Chinese wedding.
No!
All right, let's get
this show on the road.
Which side
do I stand on?
It really doesn't matter.
I, Min Hyun...
No. It's Halmeoni.
-Halmeoni.
-Yeah.
-Halmeoni.
-Harmony?
H-A-L-M-O...
I'll get the champagne.
Halmeoni.
N-I. Ni.
- Yeah, right.
- Ni. Ni.
- Say it.
- Halmeoni.
Great.
Can you say "in love"?
I love you,
I love you, I love you.
I love you,
I love you, I love you.
Hi, it's okay.
Hi. Hello.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh.
Ow, fuck!
It's okay.
-Uh-oh.
-It's okay.
What time is it?
I'm sorry.
Oh. Hi, honey. Hi.
-Oh, I love you.
-Oh, rough night, huh?
Rough night too.
Aww.
Big drama on the baby monitor.
Everyone okay?
Min, just go back to sleep.
It's my turn to warm
the bottles.
This one needs a change.
Aww.
Wait.
Before anything, group hug.
Sure.
Aww.
-I got you.
-Okay. Let's go.