The Whooper Returns (2021) Movie Script

Good evening,
and welcome to movie corner.
The Halloween special.
I'm cort tomlinson,
and we've got a whopper of a
spook show for you tonight,
but that's not how
it's pronounced.
I'm talking about
the cult classic
in the horror movie genre,
and holy quasimodo, does
it have a back story.
1975, glassgirl magazine
puts out an article
about a young Pennsylvania
mother named Dorothy schepp.
In this piece, she claims
that her and her four children
are being tormented by
something meemaw would call.
"The heebie-geebies."
We're talking spooky
sounds, paranoia,
things being in a way
they ought not be.
And so this terrifying story
goes out into the world,
and who of all people reads it,
but the wife of film
producer Daniel gerby.
Gerby ends up buying
Dorothy's story
for a mere $17,000.
I have more than
that in late fees
at movie gallery right now.
The film starts rolling.
They hire director
George l. Schmidt,
who's credited with the decision
to shoot the film in the
actually schepp family home.
Right where all the terrorizing
took place to begin with.
Fast forward, 1979.
The film premieres to
disappointing reviews,
and is a box office bomb.
But, things turned around
in the video rental market,
as it became a cult classic.
Ladies and gentlemen,
starring Wanda best
and Duncan lund,
Look at that.
Franky, watch your brothers.
Even the mold in this
hotel ain't safe from ya.
What are you doing?
Was just trying
to get a feel for the place.
It is something, isn't it?
What, the cellar?
Well, the whole thing.
Needs a little work.
Haul this crud out, first thing.
Oh, I kinda like it.
It gives me the creeps.
But, school's a
stone's throw away,
and store's not much further.
How are my odds?
Well, if they were any worse,
I'd probably still be kareck.
Welcome home, Pete.
Clint, is that you?
- You look good.
- Thanks.
17 pounds since August.
Took your advice on the paleo.
Right on, right on.
What are you doing, Pete?
Whole thing's a disaster.
Had to crosscheck the
wiring by the south wall.
Set me back a little,
but we should be
in the green now.
Sure you want to blow
up your mom's house?
Maybe we should talk about this.
Teri's here.
Love to talk, Clint,
but there's no time.
Got an early flight.
Don't suppose you ran
it by the fire marshal.
Does he have a chem e doctorate?
Pete! Let's go in the house.
Hey, ter.
Wow, I didn't think
you two were still-
- we're not.
I brought Clint
here to arrest you.
Oh, I didn't realize
he had the authority.
It's a citizen's arrest.
I know it's none of my business,
but I always thought you
two were good together.
Remember your engagement
party by the lake.
Aside from arson,
this is a crime against
your mother's memory.
Wow, where were you
for the eulogy, Clint?
Cut the crap, Pete.
What a weekend.
Tequila volleyball, jet skis.
What was the name of that song
you two were
singing all weekend?
Was it cyndi lauper?
Think about what
your brothers would say
if they found out about this.
Pat benatar.
"Like a prayer."
Oh yeah.
Can you believe
that was 15 years ago?
Since then, the lake
house has been bulldozed,
you two got divorced,
but we'll always
have the memory.
Isn't that what matters?
I don't want to sell the house
any more than you do, Pete.
But this? This is crazy!
I've got a half pound of c4
by the central foundations,
and then another
by the south wall,
and another by the north.
It'll be like the
fourth of July.
I got sandbags to protect us.
I'll get more sandbags.
Well what are you gonna
do about your nephew?
- Vincent?
- He's living here.
Been here for weeks.
- Why?
- I don't know, Pete!
Why don't you go talk to him?
Or are you just gonna
blow him up, too?
Theo can take care of it.
Is that supposed to be a joke?
Grief works in funny ways.
I see his point, though.
It's the honorable thing to do.
Blowing her into smithereens.
Thanks for the lift.
You are welcome.
Maybe I should stay until
this thing diffuses itself.
I got this.
Take it easy on him, ter.
Been through a lot, all of you.
Last thing Dorothy would want
is to have you fighting
with each other.
Happy trails, Clint.
What are you doing?
I don't have time for this.
The kid's a space cadet.
Don't tell me you're calling-
- yeah I am.
For all that is
holy, do not call-
- I told him what I
tell all my customers.
I said, I mean, sure,
there's all sorts of variety.
There's spring, there's
foam, there's gel,
there's the hybrids.
And yeah, a waterbed
might be a little heavier,
maybe not as stylish,
but a mattress is
probably is as important
as a mortgage or a car payment.
You gotta be able to
trust your mattress
the way you trust your wife.
He comes home from work,
stretches himself out
on a heated schepp waterbed,
and he knows he's
made the right choice.
And then I say, "it's
like my dad used to say."
Anybody can get a good
night's sleep anywhere,
"as long as they've got
a clean conscience."
But in this day in age,
who's got one of those?
That's where your schepp
waterbed will come in.
So did he buy?
No, not yet.
He said he wanted to look online
at some of these
NASA space beds.
But he'll be back.
You ever try memory foam?
Who am I, Kurt cobain?
Only asking.
Nothing but premium schepp
waterbeds in my house.
You in the market?
I'm happy with a waterless
situation at the moment.
Well then what are
you still doing here?
I figured you'd be the
first one at the airport
after the funeral.
Just wanted to give the
house one final goodbye.
He's helping franky and
I get this place settled.
It's a lot of work
for two people.
A lot.
A lot.
You want to help, Theo?
I gotta be at the shop.
I mean, now that
franky's retired.
You know, the
business dad started.
All I meant was there's
nothing around here
you think you can take with you?
While we're on the subject,
who took senior's arm
chair out of the den?
- Beats me.
- Come on.
I know one of you has
been swiping dad's stuff.
Like I don't have enough
of senior's old junk already.
So Vincent, have you
decided on your major yet?
Oh, don't get me started.
Don't get him started.
Go ahead, Vincent.
Tell your uncle Pete what
you're gonna major in.
Viking culture.
Viking culture.
Can you believe
that's even a major?
It's no wonder a
secondary education
isn't worth shit anymore.
Kinda like this house.
Especially this house.
Franky, are you
gonna eat anything?
Don't eat.
He's right, shouldn't
eat this stuff.
This stuff?
This is pizza.
That is gluten,
dairy, and tomato paste.
Will you please give it up
with this gluten free bullshit?
I'm sure there's a couple
of newlyweds out there
that would find this house to be
a perfect place
to start a family.
Like mom and dad.
I would rather go
down to the gas station,
put my lips around
the pump, suck it dry,
and then try to light
matches with my butt cheeks
than have this place turned over
to some bunch of bums.
What bums?
Do you guys even
get that this place
is like a big deal
to some people?
No, seriously.
There's so many forums
online about this place.
Oh, here we go.
Like, about the whooper?
Forums, fan fictions,
cos-plays, you name it.
Wait, you're telling me somebody
has actually seen that
movie in the past 20 years.
Well, they show it at
Halloween in theaters.
Kind of like a retro revival.
Yeah, well, dad had
another word for that.
Maybe so, but everyone knows
that the story is fiction.
Made up.
This house isn't really haunted.
Some might debate that.
- Who, exactly?
- Well, grandma, for one.
Vincent, grandma liked
to tell stories. Loved it.
When she would go down to
the salon on the weekends,
that's all those ladies did.
Once, somebody took
something she said as fact,
and the next thing you know,
a movie studio was
knocking on the door,
promising us this and that.
Ruined my sophomore
year in high school.
None of us were ever
haunted by our toys,
or had exorcisms performed
on our stuffed animals.
All I remember from that time
was bouncing checks
and waterbeds.
Well you can
believe what you want.
And you can go on
those chat rooms,
and tell everyone
that Peter schepp says
that there's no such
thing as a whooper.
What does that prove?
Aren't I a character
in the story?
That doesn't make it yours.
The whooper belongs
to the fans now.
Pete, let it go.
Ticket sales, box
office revenue.
That doesn't make any
sense to this kid.
Reality doesn't make
any sense to this kid.
If you'll please excuse me.
Is that the best you
could do in handling that?
Look, everything's all hookies
and wog-warts with
this kid, alright?
The more time he spends here,
the better it's gonna
be for everybody.
Trust me.
May I help you?
I'm here to see the house.
You talk to the realty company?
I talked to franky on the phone.
It's late.
One sec.
A realtor, get
rid of this place.
Don't you, Teri?
Please, come in.
Cathy, Cathy shingle.
This is my sister.
Teri, I know.
Can I serve you something?
Coffee, tea, water, milk?
Where did you park?
It's even more
beautiful in person.
You kept all of
the original trim.
Our family wasn't too familiar
with the idea of remodeling.
We're selling it as is.
That's perfect.
I can't wait to show
this to my babies.
How many do you have?
Must be a handful.
My brother told you
it's a three-bedroom?
That's fine, just fine.
What's this, the
friggin' pasta-razzi?
Don't mind them.
They get like this
after you feed them.
No need to apologize.
I remember how hard things
were after I lost daddy.
This must be such a
difficult time for you all.
I can't believe they're
all here, they're all here.
Franky, tour?
Don't be a douche!
To who, the creep?
So she's a little unusual.
She looks like she raided
your high school wardrobe.
She does.
I'm sorry, what's that?
Grownups can't hear you.
Christmas tree.
Rocking horse.
More baskets.
Here's the washing machine.
A hunter built this
place after the war.
He used to skin
his game down here.
Coyotes, mostly.
One day, the hunter killed
something else out there.
Something he had
never seen before.
A creature that
resembled the folklore
of the iroquois tribes.
Unknowingly, the hunter
brought his strange kill
back to this cellar.
He disappeared sometime later,
but the Mark of the
creature remained.
The whooper?
Everybody's seen that movie.
My babies and I
watch it all the time.
It's not for babies.
Are these yours?
My grandma's.
Once they weren't
worth anything,
she just boxed them up.
Well, what's it worth to you?
I would sell everything
to get her back.
Oh, there you are.
I've got something to show you.
My favorite bathroom
is down here.
Boy, I hope that lady
doesn't find all
that lead paint.
That'd be a disaster.
Oh, hey guys.
Didn't mean to
interrupt the tour.
Did they say lead paint?
I don't think so.
There's no lead paint
down here, miss shingle.
Same as these pipes.
This house has its quirks,
but we were all raised here,
and look how we turned out.
Wait, maybe that's
not the best example.
What he's trying to say is that
we wouldn't put you or
your family in danger
just to make some money.
They're just jacking
around, miss shingle.
Your kids could probably
eat the paint chips
right off the wall.
See? Latex, non-toxic.
My father repainted this
house back in the 80s.
Do you want to see
me eat a chip of paint?
Don't eat paint, franky.
It's that safe.
- Let me try.
- Vincent!
I wanted to thank you all
so much for your hospitality.
I could not be more in
love with this house.
Now, will you take
a personal check?
Is it from a local bank?
Thanks, we'll consider it.
Look, just give my brother
a couple days to think about it.
If there's a problem
with the amount,
I'd be happy to increase it.
I've thought about it.
We'll give you a
call. You got a card?
No, I'm afraid I
can't leave this house
until there's a deal.
See? She can't wait.
Miss, my brother
isn't thinking straight.
We've been through a lot
with the death of
my mother and all.
You'll understand.
Of course.
That's exactly why I'm here.
Your mother meant so much to me.
Please, I have to
have this house.
- Please!
- Alright really?
The house is not for sale.
That's impossible.
We're keeping it.
That's not what she wanted.
Dorothy, your mother,
could not leave
the house to you,
- I'm sorry.
- Frank,
where did you get this lunatic?
No matter what they
say, no matter what,
she made me promise
right before she died,
she made me promise.
That's it, I'm out.
This has been very interesting,
but I'm really sure
that you need to go.
Grandma, a note from grandma.
Whatever it takes, no
matter what my family says,
get this house from them
by any means necessary.
You see?
She wanted us to have the house.
I'm sorry, she loved
you, but she was hurt.
You know, I think I'll
go and take a walk,
and let you guys think
of a suitable amount.
But please, don't
make this harder
than it already is.
What are you talking
about, Dorothy?
It's the kids.
They think that their
critters are coming to life.
Do you know how
you sound right now?
I know, I know it sounds crazy,
but what if it's not
the stuffed animals?
What if it's something
inside of them?
They're kids, they
have imaginations.
We need to leave this house.
I don't feel safe.
Why don't we just go home?
- Isn't this home?
- No.
There is something
in that house.
You don't know it because
you're never there,
but I feel it, and
I am telling you.
Don't you remember
living in the city?
Having the night
shifts, the mill.
I know, but this
is different, frank.
I won't go back
to that, Dorothy.
I worked too damn hard,
and I won't do it.
The schepp family
has never escaped
the shadow of the whooper.
Despite its home video success,
they never received a dime.
In more recent news,
they've even sued the studio
for their lost royalties.
Rumor has it that frank schepp
has even declared bankruptcy.
After this break,
we'll be reading viewer emails.
Stay with us.
Who am I talking to?
Something's a fact
because you saw it online?
It could have been
photoshopped or something.
Right, Vince?
Well if it was real,
it's gotta be the only
fan mail she ever got.
I'm surprised she
didn't adopt her.
She never told me
about any of this.
Oh, you asked?
Look, none of this
is legal material.
It'll never hold up in court.
We can blow her off
as long as it takes.
But if it's what
grandma really wanted.
Vincent, stay out of this.
If mom didn't want
franky to have the house,
she wouldn't have left
it to him in her will.
Right, franky?
Senior left her the
house when he died.
And she couldn't amend
it in her last will.
That's 'cause he didn't
trust her with anything,
not even in death.
Don't tell me you're thinking
about selling it to this woman.
It's my think to think.
Mom didn't actually
know this Cathy.
Did Cathy ever visit
mom when she was alive?
Did she ever change the sheets?
Or a bed pan?
The market's bad right now.
Why does it have
to be a price point?
Why can't we just let it go?
Let it be a memory.
What, are you
afraid of something?
Of what, of whooper?
I don't believe
in it as paranormal.
More of a supernatural abstract.
Maybe it's not something
that we can touch or measure,
but it's something
we experience.
Like a thought.
Or a memory.
He's always been afraid.
We used to lock
him in this cellar
until he'd kick and
scream to high heaven.
Well, I was four.
We did it when you were 16, too.
That was before he
became Dr. Peter.
Don't change the subject.
Want to do it again?
What, stay down in the cellar?
I'll go down in the cellar.
- In your dreams.
- Guys.
- Piece of cake.
- Your funeral.
- Want to make a bet?
- Sure.
If you can stay
down in the cellar
long enough to
finish a six pack,
I'll give you 50 bucks.
You're on.
You're leaving?
Well, unless you want
to open the shop tomorrow.
Be my guest.
What about the crazy
lady in the yard?
I wouldn't worry about her.
If she gets out of
hand, call Clint.
He'll know what to do.
Oh hey, if you find
that beef-a-roni recipe,
send me a text, alright?
County is currently
under a winter storm watch.
- Theo, what's the-
- hey hey hey.
Remember that problem we had?
Yeah, well I think I fixed it.
What are you talking about?
Just get out here,
out front, hurry up.
- You think she's-
- I don't know!
She was just standing there
in the middle of the road.
You didn't see
her in the mirror?
We gotta call Clint.
- Clint?
- Yeah.
He'll know what to do.
- Yeah, call an ambulance.
- No, no ambulance.
I'm sorry, what
are you suggesting
Clint knows how to do?
Well you know, clean it up.
You think Clint knows
how to dispose a body?
The man would open a vein
for you, you know that.
Besides, who's gonna
help us with all this?
- Us?
- Yes, us.
You! You, not us!
Look at the big picture.
This could destroy
the whole family.
Ruin everything dad worked for.
This is like the final
nail in the waterbed.
I will take no part in this.
Fine, you don't want
to help me, don't.
Do it for mom.
Son of a bitch.
Hey! Hey!
You want to put
something online,
I'll give you something
to put online!
This is all his stuff.
Look, I,
I know you hate your father.
But he's not so bad.
Your grandfather was much worse.
We only saw him in the
morning on the way to work.
He rarely spoke.
Well, you shouldn't
have left it out
in the first place.
Your dad kicked the
chair under the table.
Now, we were the
only ones to see it,
but for a second,
it was like the whole
rotation of the earth ceased,
and we were all suspended.
The next few weeks,
it was all mom would talk about.
The whole story of the movie,
we reinvented it, by accident.
Well, now you know.
Thanks, uncle franky,
but currently I
don't have any room
for unverifiable verbal
testimony in my research.
Hey, how long does it take
to Polish off a six pack?
Pete, Pete!
Still a lightweight, huh?
Oh, senior would be
so pissed at you.
Come on.
There's something,
something down here.
Oh no, no, this way,
this way, this way.
Almost there.
There you go.
I guess you're gonna have
to reschedule that flight.
Oh yeah.
Get out of here, move!
God I'm sorry.
What the hell?
It was either him or you.
People can get so disgusting.
What is that thing?
Don't you remember this?
Pete made it, like
in seventh grade,
for some science fair.
Is Teri with you?
No, no no, I haven't seen her.
Maybe we should contact the
authorities, or something.
We're trespassing.
Come on, Vincent, pick up.
One, two, three.
- Get out of here.
- Get him out of there.
- Come on, get him out.
- Come on.
Get him.
Son of a...
It's Vincent's phone!
Must be some kind
of fetish thing.
Well, they came
to the wrong house.
Where's my son? Where's my boy?
Where's Vincent?
Is this a joke to you,
is that what this is?
Is this some kind of joke?
I'll show you a joke.
I will put this ball
bearing right up your ass.
You're gonna waddle out of
here instead of walking.
Now where is my son?
Theo, that's not gonna help us.
When I walked in this room,
one of these things
was about to kill you.
But we've gotta keep our cool.
I am cool!
- Oh Theo.
- I'm cool.
Now what is your plan?
We need to find
Teri and Vincent,
and get the hell out of here.
All that missing stuff
Teri was talking about,
dad's stuff.
I found it out in the woods,
out in the middle of nowhere,
all stacked up like it
was some sort of nest.
I don't know what
these people are up to,
but I don't think they
planned on us holding out.
Yeah, well, this,
this is gonna complicate things.
You know, the second
best way to get a customer
by the balls?
An undeniable markdown.
But you know the first?
- What?
- Insurance.
They've got Vincent.
They're gonna use him to get
whatever it is they want.
But now, we've
got one of theirs.
Oh hey, ter.
What happened with us, ter?
There's something
you have to know.
In the emails from your
mother, I found something.
One of your brothers, they knew.
They signed off on this deal
before Cathy ever got here.
What? Who?
Oh, this is all a setup.
You gotta get out of here.
Not without you.
I'm gonna slow you down.
You gotta run.
Stay with me, Clint.
Don't quit on me.
I never quit.
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Sweet boy.
Sweet, sweet boy.
Mama's so proud of you.
So, so proud.
You know better than to speak
when you're under the spell.
We're finally here where we
belong, in our safe place.
Aren't we happy?
Aren't we having fun?
Aren't we?
We've waited too long for this,
and now we will enjoy it
for the rest of
our days, together.
Guys, guys!
Hand over the teenager!
You got two minutes!
They don't want to play with us.
Their time is up, and they
don't belong here anymore.
I was generous because
I felt sorry for them,
and look what that got us.
If they won't give
us what is ours,
then we must take it!
Last chance, guys.
Hand over the teenager.
Or it's off to the
batting cage for this one.
Look, I don't want
to draw this out,
and hopefully we
can resolve this,
for your friend's sake.
You think we're messing around,
you're badly mistaken.
This is all our house,
and you answer to us!
They're moving around.
They'll be coming down.
Just keep your
eye on the stairs.
Just like we planned.
What are they doing?
I don't know.
You've got two minutes!
This has got to be wired wrong.
It can't be right.
Damn it, Pete!
What are you doing?
Stick with the plan.
Damn it, Pete.
Now is not the time
to fool around-
Damn it, Pete!
Freeze, all of you,
or I blow this
whole place to hell.
I'm holding a remote to
four pounds of c4 wired
to the foundation of the house.
Hi babies, it's mama.
I just want to let you
know everything's fine.
Teri's just a little
rattled right now.
Do I look rattled to you?
Does anybody else here
think I'm rattled?
Show of hands.
It's not funny to
joke like that, Teri.
Teri, Teri, it's franky.
He's not moving.
I think it's his blood pressure.
We gotta get him to
a hospital quick.
No one moves.
No one leaves here
until I get some answers.
Franky is not moving.
Someone down there
is lying to all of us.
I don't understand.
One of you knew about
this caveat long before.
One of you put us
into this mess.
Sure, mom may have been
losing it towards the end.
She may have given
Cathy the house,
and not her own flesh and blood.
But she couldn't have sent
years of emails herself.
Computer illiterate, hands
mangled from arthritis.
And she definitely couldn't
have sent any emails
a week after she died.
I don't follow.
I saw the emails,
and I saw the time stamps.
She had help.
Someone was using her account
to talk to Cathy long
after she passed.
Someone set us up.
I'm sure there's
another explanation.
Really? I would love one.
Teri, listen to
what you're saying!
I mean, look, they're just
trying to get into your head.
This is all part of their plan.
You were always good
at making other people
look guilty, Theo.
You know what, I'm gonna forget
that you even said that.
And then again,
like father like son.
Maybe the fan boy was
in on it all along.
He's been here all this time.
Got along with Cathy so well.
Or is it possible
that the only one
of us who wanted to
give the house to
her is behind this.
He'd sell that place
out in a heartbeat,
as long as it lined his wallet.
Wait a minute, here.
And then there's the psycho,
who rigged our mom's basement
with plastic explosives.
Could it have been him?
Hey Pete, how do I
know this thing works?
Is there a button I press?
Or maybe, it was all of you.
The prodigal sons return
to take back what's theirs.
You four were like leaves in
the breeze while I stayed.
I stayed by her side.
I watched her wither away.
You think you're the
only one that sacrificed?
Franky and I tied ourselves
to that sinking
ship of a business
the day senior passed away.
You don't think I wanted
to just disappear?
Move out west, to some
suburb or something,
and forgot about everything?
Maybe it's you.
Maybe you wanted someone
to take the pressure
off of your shoulders.
Maybe you're looking
for a scapegoat.
You said it yourself.
You were there all by yourself.
No one was around.
You had access to her accounts.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am ready to
give this place up.
After all, it was her last wish.
The only difference is
I don't want a
number or a price.
I just want a name.
Give it to me.
I have nothing to
hide from you, Teri.
Give it to me!
Show her.
Come on, franky.
Come on, now, come on.
Teri, he is not moving.
He's not reactive.
We've got to get
him to a hospital!
Why did you have
to make this so hard?
Teri, help us!
I don't care what
you think happened,
we've got to get
him to a hospital!
Welcome home.
It's a syncopic episode.
He's stable, but
he needs a doctor.
Teri, get in the truck.
Come on, nobody stays behind.
I'm staying.
I'm rigging those charges.
What? Why?
Because fuck them, that's why.
Teri, you said it yourself.
If this is what mom wanted,
then let 'em have it.
That was our home, Theo!
We slept in those rooms.
She died in those rooms.
I'm not gonna stand by
and let some freaks turn it in
to some kind of fantasy.
That place is our memories.
And now that's all it will be.
I'm only sorry not all my
brothers felt the same.
Oh come on now.
He couldn't have known
this was gonna happen.
This is just franky, you know.
Yeah, I know.
Vincent, get in the truck.
Couldn't find any shells.
Hey, cut it out back there!
I'm pretty sure
they're both fractured.
What happened?
I just wish...
It's too late.
Cathy was all she
had in the end.
So it's no wonder
any of this happened.
We helped her invent this.
We were kids!
It doesn't make
it any less true.
You want to sit
here and talk about
how this could've
been different, fine.
But that doesn't
change anything.
Not yet.
All my life, I've been
running from this place.
From senior, from
mom and her bullshit.
You're not thinking
about going back in there.
Maybe it's not too late.
We wind the timer,
give us more time.
We can disconnect
the charges by hand.
By your hands.
What happened to
just letting things go?
Some kid told me
memories are an abstract.
That is our house.
Screw you! You little shit!
If anything happens, we get out.
- Sure.
- I mean it.
We abandon the mission, promise.
Teri, we've got 40-
- the only way I go
back in that house
is if you promise you'll get
as far away from their as
possible before it blows.
Alright, I promise.
If you're ready, then, let's go.
One second.
You don't remember?
This shit's from Venezuela.
Rojo, blanco, or azul?
That's it.
Easy enough.
Three more to go.
I'll kill you!
You have no business here!
You don't fuck with
my wife's family,
you don't fuck with me!
Teri, Teri, are you still there?
Where are you?
Come out here, you coward!
Don't shoot! Don't
shoot, don't shoot!
It's me, Vincent!
Vincent schepp?
Yeah, we met at the
reunion like four years ago.
I can't believe you'd,
you'd treat your own
family like this.
What was that?
She's killing you!
She's killing all of you!
Why are you letting
her do this to you?
They can't answer you, Teri.
Come on, we've got
to get out of here!
She's killing you!
Why are you doing this?
I really hate to see
you this way, Teri.
Where are the keys?
What keys?
Let them out of this shit.
They're gonna get heat stroke.
They're not my prisoners.
This woman is killing you.
Look, she's already killed you.
No, you are, Teri.
You are.
But it's okay, this
is what they want.
You've got to get out of here.
There's no time.
We can't leave, we
have to celebrate.
I am so happy that you were able
to make it back for the end.
The end of what?
Of the movie!
We've been broadcasting
this all over the world,
for everyone to see.
Isn't that amazing?
You mean, it's live streaming?
But, who's watching?
People just like us,
all over the world.
Why didn't they help us?
Why didn't they do anything?
Why didn't you do anything?
Because they've been waiting,
and it's finally here!
Waiting for what?
For the sequel,
and they love it.
Your mother is smiling
down on us from heaven.
You're all insane.
We're leaving.
We can't go, we
have to celebrate!
Burn in hell!
Hey, Teri.
There's my kid brother.
I thought I would
miss the party.
I found this in one of
dad's old hiding places.
Along with that
beef-a-roni recipe.
What are you doing here?
Where's franky?
He's okay.
He's with the paramedics.
Can not wait to see
the look on his face.
It was you?
You signed the deal?
Here, open that.
Why would you sell us out?
Sell us out?
I saved us!
Think about it.
Do you have any idea
how many online orders
have come into schepp
waterbeds just tonight?
Dad worked himself to the
bone in that shop for nothing,
nothing but an early grave.
Now we're in the black.
And I get to sit back and
relax in my golden years.
Look, I get it, I get it.
You're upset at me, I get it.
Things did not go as
smoothly as I had hoped.
We were assaulted.
People died.
You exploited our inheritance.
Our inheritance is
the keys to this castle,
which we have to defend.
I didn't have a choice!
This family has more money now
than it ever has, ever.
And that's because of me!
Today, today is the schepp
family's finest hour!
To new beginnings.
It's too late.
Hey, do you have
a phone I could use?
I just need to call my mom.
What's this?
It's just a jacket.
Like some viking shit.
I feel like I've seen
your face before.
Do I know you?
I don't think so.
Like a meme one of my
friend's sent me, or something.
She's probably not up yet.
Thanks for letting
me use your phone.
You stay around here?
I can give you a lift.
No, that's okay.
I'll just walk to
the quick-e-mart.
I don't fuck with
vikings, anyways.