The Year of Cat (2024) Movie Script
In the Name of God.
[ambient night sound]
[cinematic music]
Hi! I was born on March
19th at 10:30 pm. [voiceover]
On a cold snowy night when
a biting wind was blowing.
It was a special night and, by
coincidence, it was the Moon in Scorpio.
It was the year of the cat, which
repeats every 12 years in the Zodiac cycle.
I was named Jahangir.
Having cut my umbilical cord and getting
paid, the stout birthing specialist left.
Unaware of the fact that it was
the eve of the year of the cat.
[door opening, woman screaming]
[tense music]
[door closing]
All that was left from the rotund
midwife, was a pile of bones.
[ambient night sound]
The world's longevity record holder,
aged 134, lived in our neighborhood.
He was a lively old man
nicknamed Noah. [cinematic music]
As everyone believed, after living so long,
it was extremely unlikely that he'd die.
[making silly noises]
Wow! Mr Noah!
My sweet son!
May you be always in excellent health!
Meet my child.
My Jahan!
Blow onto his face so
he'll live as long as you.
Please.
[blowing, cinematic music]
Thank you. Many thanks!
My sweet Jahan! Daddy loves
you so much! [singing, joyful music]
The world's longevity record holder...
[groaning]
[infant laughing]
Died!
The whole neighborhood believed
that the newly born baby was sinister.
They made the atmosphere
so tense that, a few years later...
My family and I had
to move to another city.
The name of that city was Picha.
[cinematic music]
We arrived in a bigger
city and began our new
life in the mansion of an Indian merchant.
I'll tell you stories about this
house and its people later on.
Let's get back to my
life's years of the cat.
I've always wanted to be
famous since childhood.
I jumped down!
[kid screaming]
[breaking sound]
And I was badly hurt.
[woman screaming]
Our neighbor's unlucky wife had a
miscarriage at the sight of the crash.
That year was the year of the cat, too.
[cinematic music]
Another sad thing happened the same year.
I went and turned the wet
air cooler up to the top speed.
[loud bang]
[screaming]
It must be really unlucky for a thief...
That someone happens to turn on the wet air
cooler, while he's busy stealing its motor.
Anyway, anywhere there was a trace of
me a handful of people died unexpectedly.
[match noises]
At the age of 24, when my
third cat year was going by...
I took the first puff on
my life's first cigarette.
Which resulted in the
death of twelve people.
[screaming]
[blowing]
You broke my heart
'cause I couldn't dance.
[Do You Love Me Song by The Contours]
My father died on one of my birthdays and
my mother passed away a few months later.
It was the year of the cat, again.
Now I'm 36 and this year
is the year of the cat, too.
Do you love me? (I can really move.)
Do you love me? (I'm in the groove.)
Now do you love me?
(Do you love me now that I can dance?)
Watch me, now. (Work,
work.) ah, work it out baby.
Try to keep your distance
from me in years of the cat.
This is not a threat but a chance.
It's a humanitarian message.
Now I can mash potatoes.
(I can mash potatoes.)
The Year of the Cat. Directed by Mostafa
Taghizadeh. Produced by Saeid Khani.
[cinematic music]
Everyday, a fawn wakes up in the jungle.
Knowing that it must run faster
than lions so as not to be hunted.
Likewise, a lion wakes up knowing
that it must run faster than the fawns...
If it doesn't want to stay hungry.
Either a lion or a fawn,
it makes no difference.
Always be ready to run
with all your strength.
[cinematic music]
Stop!
Stop!
Sorry, I might have been mistaken.
[cinematic music]
Thank you for the chador and cane.
Give me your number, will you?
[door closing]
[door opening]
[cinematic music]
[smooching]
My little darlings! [birds noises]
I love you all!
[gasp]
You eat it, huh?
Have you heard that cats
have seven lives? [voiceover]
I've seen it.
This cat doesn't leave me alone.
I tried to kill him several times,
but he has no intention of dying.
[cinematic music]
I'm not going to kill you this simple.
I have plans for you.
[cinematic music]
[cat screaming, man groaning]
[cinematic music]
Here is the end of the line.
Say hello to death.
[breathing]
No, I should come a little closer.
I'd rather come nearer. This
way I can blow you to bits!
Maybe a bit closer, huh?
It's better now.
Here is good.
You're about to suffer such a...
[shouting]
[gunshot]
I had an explosive bullet.
I could've knock you off.
But I'm the negotiating kind.
So don't appear in my
life again, for God's sake!
Don't come to see me again!
[cinematic music]
[door closing]
[tense music]
How did he get out of the gunny sack?
I'm sure I saw the road
sign that read 'Picha, 700km'.
[thud]
Anyway.
I just wanted to ask him how he travelled
all the way home to arrive sooner than me.
[birds noises]
Let's talk like two men.
You ate my cockatiel.
I'm bereaved because of you.
Let's make a deal.
Hey man, you'll go somewhere and
live your life. I'll leave you in peace.
As for me, I'll keep living my life,
but promise to leave me in peace.
Agreed?
Agreed! [cat speaking]
-Can you talk? -Yes!
I beg you not to talk in front of Misha
or she'll have a stroke and will die.
Okay!
Oh, you're good at English, too!
If I go on the street and tell a passerby
that I have an English-speaking cat,
Then I ask him to come to
meet you, what will he think?
Wouldn't he think I have
something bad on my mind?
[cinematic music]
This lady is Misha, my wife.
Daughter of an Indian
father and an Iranian mother.
My first encounter with Misha
was back in our childhood.
In the Indian merchant's house.
After we moved out of our home town.
My dad was employed as a cleaner
in the Indian merchant's house.
Where another cleaner worked as well.
The two cleaners were on bad
terms with each other from the get-go.
[cinematic indian music playing]
The first cleaner had a
daughter. This is her, Misha.
Misha had two cousins named Shahbaz and
Behrouz. They'll be
introduced to you later.
Misha and I grew up into teenagers
and fell in love with each other.
[cinematic indian music playing]
We put a big effort into convincing our
fathers not to drag
their quarrels at work...
Into the life of a would-be
couple and let us get married.
[cinematic music]
[slap]
[parrot noises]
We had trouble with our
wedding ceremony, too.
Misha's dad insisted on holding
the ceremony the Indian way.
While my dad was insistent that the
wedding should be held Iranian-style...
Or else forget it!
Anyway, the Indian merchant mediated
between them, and it was agreed that...
The wedding's style would
be half Iranian, half Indian.
[happy music playing, clapping]
He made a mistake, what he did was illegal.
Don't drink it!
[clapping, wedding music]
Excuse me a moment. I'll be back.
-How do I look? -Great!
-Take control of the party. -Okay.
We shouldn't fall behind these Indians.
- In full swing, set fire to it!
- No worries.
[whistling]
[wedding music, clapping]
[claps]
[indian music]
[flames sound]
Come here!
They're outperforming us.
I told you to set fire to the
party, but they're doing it.
-Do something! -Come forward, guys!
[flames roaring]
[screaming]
[fighting]
A letter arrived for the
Indian merchant from Mumbai.
It was from his teenage years' lover
for whom he left Iran for India forever.
[dramatic music]
[smooching sound]
[dramatic music]
[engine noises]
His house was left in the care
of Misha's father and my dad.
And we weren't allowed
to put even a nail on sale.
Our fathers passed away,
and Misha and I continued
living there along with
Misha's Iranian mother.
[radio noises]
[laughing]
You wretch!
[don't watch these stuff]
-Huh? -Shut up!
Go fetch me a cup of tea!
Get busy with your hair rollers!
I wish I'd gone blind instead
of having a son-in-law like you!
[laughing]
I hate your gaudy look
and your silly mole. Clear off!
Look.
You'd better stop getting on my nerves.
Before I make you pay!
Shut your gob and piss off!
Ugly!
[radio noises]
[doors opening]
I want to drink it.
It's tea.
-You want tea? -Yeah.
Go pour yourself one.
[radio noises]
It tastes weird.
-What do you mean? -It's bitter.
It's Chinese tea, drink it.
[gags]
[doorbell ringing]
[lights on]
[dog barking]
[machine noises]
-Password? -13-70.
[machine beep]
[here]
Thanks.
Hey.
[thud]
Give this on your way to Jamal.
[police siren]
[nylon rustling]
[door closing]
[knocking]
[door opening]
Hi, what's up?
-Why did you do that? -I did what?
You forced my brother
to buy drugs from you.
I didn't force anyone to buy my drugs.
You sold it to him
anyway and you're family.
Now what?
I wonder how Misha can
be so optimistic about you.
None of your business!
Don't make me talk to
you in abusive language.
Come on, I'm listening!
Have you no shame? Do you call this a job?
Is washing dead bodies a job?!
There's nothing wrong with
being a mortuary attendant.
-Really? Are you finished? -Yes.
[spitting]
Thanks for coming!
Jahangir...
Jahangir...
I've washed so many bodies and
wrapped shrouds around them for burial.
Hmm...
Someday it'll be your turn, too.
I'll wash your body damn well!
In your dreams!
[TV noises]
[TV noises]
The world is in complete chaos.
[thud]
-Be careful! -With what?
Your leg.
My leg doesn't hurt anymore.
The pain is gone!
What do you want those cigarettes for?
I don't know why I suddenly felt
like smoking after twenty years.
I'm going to smoke one of
your cigarettes, dear son.
Go ahead! Tonight is yours, beauty!
What sort of crap has my mother swallowed?
Don't talk about your mother like that.
You can't fool me, Jahangir.
I swear I'll call the police
to come and take you.
Don't do that to my mom.
I made her go into ecstasies, is it bad?
Did you see how fast she moved?
She jumped up like a firecracker
and went to stand in the moonlight...
And smoke a...
Dunderhead!
[laughing]
-Mother! -What, honey!
[laughing]
I told you, slow-witted
pygmy, two dozen times...
Not to come at the main
door to buy drugs from me.
Knock at the back
door, do you get it or not?
Does your wife know you
sell opium in the cellar?
Does your wife know you
buy opium in the cellar?
- That's my business.
- You disgust her, monkey!
Credit card!
I warn you not to talk
garbage again... dwarf monkey.
[nylon rustling]
-Password! -1352.
Your account is empty.
Try again, I've got some
million tomans in there.
I'm impressed, my millionaire!
[machine noises]
There's no money, man!
I must've brought the wrong bank card.
What?! The wrong card?
Give the stuff back.
It's gone.
Mahmoud, I'll...
I swear I'll give you such a hard slap
that you hover in the air for 48 hours!
Come on, give back the opium!
I don't have any money now.
- I'll pay it off, my neighbor.
- Give back the stuff!
Come on! Spit it out!
My gastric juices dissolved
it. It's running in my blood now.
Damn it.
See you!
Mahmoud! Come here for a minute.
No fighting, bro. Huh? [smooching]
- I ask you politely to spit it out.
- I can't.
I'm sure if I slap you
across the face, people
will come to take your
dead body out of here.
[slap]
[ears ringing]
You killed me!
[body thud]
Mahmoud... what happened to you?
Mahmoud!
Mahmoud!
Mahmoud!
I swear I talked rubbish.
[rapid breathing]
I'd forgotten that it
was the year of the cat.
Mahmoud died... That
simple slap killed him.
[cinematic music]
Wow, lovely!
[smooching]
[cinematic music]
(Judge) [hammering]
Sentenced to death.
I did badly at the court.
I mean I was so scared
that I wetted myself.
[cinematic music]
[cameras shuttring]
A whole bunch of photographers
were taking my picture.
I felt so good.
As I told you, I've always
wanted to be famous.
A famous actor, singer, athlete,
politician, murderer, anything.
Or maybe a victorious gladiator for
whom everyone would yell hooray.
[cinematic music]
[shouting]
[thud]
[roar of crowd]
[shouting]
[crowd cheering]
Jahan!
[knocking]
Jahan! Pick it up!
- Hi.
- Honey, striped outfit really suits you.
I'll sure make you one.
-Exactly like this? -Yeah.
Thank you.
You've changed, right?
-My behaviour? -No, your look.
-My look? -Yeah.
- Do I look ugly?
- No, you must have done something.
Aha, I had my hair
dyed two shades brighter.
-Really? -Yeah.
[thud]
What?
[knocking]
I'm about to be hanged, and
you coloured your hair brighter.
Wouldn't you be hanged if I
didn't go to a beauty salon?
Did you get their consent?
Oh no, Jahan! Leyla is very
bad-tempered. She offends me.
What does it matter? Your
husband will be hanged soon.
Honey, you know that I love you.
What do you want me to tell her?
Go to see her tomorrow.
Tell her it's not fair to take
revenge. I didn't actually kill him.
He swallowed it and I slapped him.
Am I a murderer for a slap?
-Is that all? -Yes.
Go to her and try to impress her by special
words, relaxing and softening words.
Softly... Speak softly to make her
soften towards me and give us her consent.
Aha. Softly.
[chewing]
God rest your husband's soul.
We're advised to take revenge.
Actually, no murder was committed.
[chewing]
Your late husband swallowed it
and was given a slap. That's all.
That's all?!
Once your husband is hanged, you'll
be sure if a murder was committed or not.
Look at his mother.
She's just some flesh in a wheelchair.
She doesn't say anything, She
doesn't eat anything, nothing.
But his mother has been in a wheelchair
since she had a stroke four years ago.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway. [mouthfull]
We can't even eat a
morsel of bread. [mouthfull]
Cause my precious jewel is now lying
under a pile of earth because of you.
I see.
[chewing]
May he rest in peace.
But as far as I can remember, you always
called him by words
like parasite and useless.
I even remember you saying:
"Mahmoud, I pray that you die soon and
I get rid of you, you wretched druggie."
Maybe God has answered your prayer.
What else do you remember?
'You don't deserve the
bread you eat in this house.'
'A dog is more beneficial
than you, ' you told him.
[chewing]
[cinematic music]
[sigh]
-Go! -What?
Go, go!
[gun noises]
[gunshots]
It was no use talking gently to
Leyla, that big unattractive woman.
[gate opening]
-Jahangir Ghaznavi. -Yes?
Pack your things and get out.
-Am I free? -Yes, but free of life.
Solitary confinement, and
the noose around your neck.
Say goodbye and come out.
[cinematic music, heavy breathing]
[door opening]
Ghaznavi.
Don't you need anything?
I have a few questions.
Don't get up. I'm coming in.
[door opening]
Don't think about escaping.
I want to change position.
-What's up? -Nothing.
-What time is it? -Around 12.
You still have five more hours. Enjoy it.
Give me a cigarette.
[lighter clicking]
A cup of tea with be wonderful with it.
-Bring me a tea. -We don't have it.
- How am I supposed to be killed?
- It's simple.
They'll take you onto the gallows,
then fit the noose around your neck.
And I'll kick away the stool.
-You're going to do it? -Yes.
I kicked away one this morning,
and you'll be the next tomorrow.
- How can you possibly kick away the stool?
- Like this.
I mean how can you be so cold-hearted?
I just do this.
Are you half-witted?
I said how you could kick
away the stool so cold-heartedly?
Oh.
I'll just give it a kick to rid
both you and me of suffering.
Am I wrong?
No, do your job.
[rapid breathing]
Ghaznavi, your nerves are frayed.
It'll hardly take two minutes.
You'll be taken to the scaffold, the
noose around your neck and over!
I swear on my mother's life, I
just gave him a slap... like this.
-Are you dead now? -Not really.
They want to hang me just for a slap.
It's not fair on you.
Look, 'Between pillar and
post there maybe rescue.'
What does that mean?
You'll be led to the
gallows, but won't be hanged.
'Cause you just gave a
slap. I'm optimistic about it.
Are you sure?
Yeah, of course! You
just gave him a slap.
- You mean all these procedures...
- Just formalities.
- Do you mean it?
- They're just frightening you.
-Was it just a slap? -Yes.
You'll be at the gallows,
but won't be hanged.
[cinematic music]
Jahan!
[dog barking]
[body thud, ambulance siren]
- Where are they taking my wife?
- To the clinic.
I wish she stayed to see that
they're just playing a trick on me.
Get moving.
What was the proverb
you told me last night?
'Between pillar and
post there maybe rescue.'
- Do you have faith in this proverb?
- Of course I do.
- Has it happened before me?
- A lot of times.
Seriously? Can I be sure of that?
My intuition tells me you'll survive.
Thank God.
Wait a minute.
How is it going?
Won't you give your consent?
Hmph.
An old saying goes 'Between
pillar and post there maybe...'
-What was it? -Rescue.
Rescue.
We'll see.
-Ghaznavi? -What?
What are you pleading for? Don't do it.
Yeah, I don't need your consent!
-Where should we go? -Over there.
Sure!
[laughs]
- Did you like the way I talked to her?
- Yeah, very much.
When you ensured me that I won't be hanged,
I told her firmly not to give her consent.
Every instinct tells
me you'll escape death.
Yes.
-Hey? -What?
[cinematic music]
We're getting nearer.
Let's go! Don't worry.
I already told you how it would end.
This is where it ends.
No need to be scared.
- Okay, this is where you talked about.
- Right guess.
-Pillar and rescue. -Yeah.
- What shall we do now?
- Let's walk to the gallows post.
-Climb up! -What?
-Go up! -What for?
The weather is much better there!
It was supposed to end here.
Move up and don't daydream.
-Why did your tone change? -Huh?
Why did your tone change?
Don't talk nonsense. Go up!
Give me a minute!
I'm seriously stepping on the stool!
You said 'Between pillar
and post there maybe rescue.'
- I didn't.
- I should be standing here, not there!
Wait! This is no joke! I'm on the stool.
Wait a minute!
Damn you and your proverb!
Don't be rude.
I'm not being rude, I'm just
saying damn you and your...
Put the rope around his
neck. And a cloth around his.
Leyla! Leyla!
I'm sorry Leyla, forgive me!
You see how he's shrieking?
Shall I let him die or get the blood money?
I'm sorry!
Okay, so I'll get the blood money.
[helicopter noises]
You have my consent! I forgive
you! [voice lost in helicopter noises]
Misha!!!
[thud]
[alarm noises]
[door buzzing open]
[joyful music playing]
[clapping]
That goddamn helicopter
passed across the sky overhead...
At the worst possible
moment, so no one heard Leyla.
But if Hashem the Gorilla who weighed over
200 kg hadn't been hanged the day before,
And it wouldn't have broken
while I was being hanged.
The gallows post wouldn't have cracked
[thud, cinematic music]
[breaking sound]
Everything in the world
is connected in some way.
Like a butterfly flapping its wings in
Brazil and causing a storm in Texas.
[gunshot]
[windblowing]
When Misha and Leyla got around
and found out what had happened,
They hugged each other
and shed tears of joy.
[heartbeat machine]
I was released from prison
after I served my sentence.
The first thing I had to do was to
thank someone to whom I owe a lot.
For one valuable advice: not
losing hope until the last second.
You're in a good place.
I know.
My intuition says so!
What characterizes the years
of the cat in my life is that.
I'm in danger, but the others die.
I repented and swore an
oath never to sell illegal stuff.
[cinematic music]
[water splashing]
Mrs. Leila and Misha had agreed
on Mahmouds blood money...
It would be a Peugeot 206 instead.
Not that Mahmoud was
worth much more anyway.
[cinematic music]
There was a 1968 Jaguar that
belonged to the Indian merchant.
It hadn't been driven for ages.
[cinematic music]
[water splashing]
I decided to sit behind
the wheel of the merchant's
car and carry passengers to earn a living.
It was a charming car, but
no one trusted it to get a ride.
Cause nowadays no one
uses these cars as taxis.
- Ma'am, get in, please.
- Shut up and get lost!
I work as a taxi driver!
[cinematic music]
What a mess.
Only one person asked for
a trip, but I wish he hadn't.
[cinematic music]
Write them down, hope
you've a pen and paper.
One lip lift at 12:00
noon, another at 2:00 pm.
Watch their appointments won't overlap.
A nose job at 5:00 pm.
Don't get all mixed up.
Oh God, I pray to you that
everything goes well today!
My car's in for a service.
I'll be a bit late, bye.
Excuse me, sir, what do you do?
I'm aesthetic and plastic
surgeon, dr. Aref Bam.
Doesn't my last name
remind you of something?
The Bam eggplant.
It didn't remind you of
Bam's big earthquake,
but it reminded you of its eggplants.
I'm sorry. [laughs]
I myself am nothing
less than an earthquake.
First I knock down and flatten
them, then rebuild and shape them.
- Houses? - No, lips, faces, jaws, mouths.
I turn large, humped noses
into pug and AA battery-like ones.
Wow, so you must be rolling in it.
Yeah, I am.
- Are you a famous doctor?
- Yes, very famous.
What's the secret to becoming famous?
Look, son. I get my
eyes to work efficiently.
-I see everything an opportunity. -Aha.
Nowadays the secret
of success is cleverness.
So look at each and all things
intently to be able to use them.
Look, seeing is different from looking.
-Yeah. -What a meaningful remark!
Stop the car, stop... stop, stop!
Yeah.
Is anything wrong?
You didn't look carefully
and lost the opportunity.
- Seeing is different from looking!
- Seeing is different from looking!
-Well done. -Thank you.
[car door closing]
[motorbike passing]
Get out!
[car door opening]
Open the drunk lid.
We were near to losing
a golden opportunity.
-What are these? -Imported tobacco.
I know clients who'll buy it.
You'll get your share of money, too.
Come on, load them into the car.
Wow! Gather them all!
Euh!!
[laughs]
Wow! Excellent!
It's not very fresh, but it's wonderful.
Don't taste it!
Are you allergic?
-Do you mind if I say something? -Huh?
This isn't tobacco.
-What is it then? -It's poo.
- Is that the brand name?
- No, it's real poo.
Children call it poo.
Fecal sample.
-Poo? Poop?! -Yeah.
What you tasted is
Saeid Malakouti's, age: 75.
[vomitting]
Ew!
[vomitting]
A lip lift at noon, another one at 3:00 pm.
Lip lift 2:00 pm.
A lip at 2:00pm and a nose job at 5:00 pm.
I bet you'll call fifteen
minutes later to ask again.
Did you put the kidneys in the fridge?
All right.
-Do you have a restaurant? -Nope!
My clinic is multipurpose.
Aesthetic surgery, organ
transplantation, organ trade...
As I said, I grab all the chances.
- Seeing is different from looking.
- Seeing is different from looking.
But I think where you got out
of the car, you were mistaken.
Okay! [laughs]
Don't remind me of it.
Come to my clinic so I'll
remove your dark ugly mole.
Nop! My wife loves it. [mobile ringing]
You're such a pain in the ass!
Why are you so beef-brained?!
I said at 12:00 noon!
[music playing in the car]
I'm sure he takes drugs.
Such a degree of dumbness!
Your secretary?
No, I fired my secretary
last week. He's my cleaner.
I put him in charge until
I find a reliable secretary.
Sir...
I'm a reliable person.
Now that you're reliable, let
me tell you some secret words.
Okay.
In this clinic pulse means
heart. [music playing in the office]
-Pulse is heart. -Bean means kidney.
-Hepar means liver. -Hepar is liver, okay.
Is spleen among our secret codes?
- Am I joking with you?
- I swear I was dead serious.
-That was a stupid question. -Sorry.
I got it. I'm at your service now.
[gags]
What happened?
-I suddenly remembered Saeid. -Who's Saeid?
-That. -Aha, Saeid Malakouti, age: 75!
There's no need to mention his name.
Sorry, I said it, cause seeing
is different from looking.
I liked it! [laughs]
-Get down to work. -Sure!
[music: Ocean Drive Song by Duke Dumont]
Welcome to Bam Aesthetic Plastic Clinic!
[cleaning window]
Are you as high as kite?
-I'm wiping it. -Really?
Stop rubbing. The pane almost vanished.
-Smoked pot, didn't you? -No.
I'm a pro at it.
How about I roll one to smoke together?
I just put out one. Keep rubbing!
- So let me know.
- Look, I'm the new manager here.
To me moral code is what matters most.
Wipe it! Good luck.
Well.
Leave a space for lips.
Don't do it for the teeth.
There is stuff on it... Ah!
You good, brother?
Thanks.
- You are the one getting the surgery?
- Isn't it obvious? I did it.
Let me see, smile.
Good luck.
Welcome.
I began to work at
Dr. Bam's clinic. [voiceover]
All medical services were
offered to patients there.
From nose, jaw, and mouth surgeries...
To lip and body filler injections,
dental laminates, and hair transplants.
Dr. Bam was truly Jack of all trades.
[cinematic music]
[door opening]
[smooching]
Hold on a moment.
I can't get any signals. I can't hear you.
Let me move a little.
Hello?! Oh, it's as clear as a bell now!
Hello, I'm Jahangir Ghaznavi,
manager of Bam Aesthetic Clinic!
One pulse, one bean...
Pardon?!
No, we don't sell lamb testicles.
We don't buy them, either. [radio playing]
We don't find a use for them.
There should be something
inside the body for the funeral.
Thank you.
Thanks for calling, bye.
'I got a job as a medical secretary!'
You work in an offal restaurant!
To your eyes it's a restaurant,
but they're the tools of our trade.
Don't put on an act!
I know you better than your mother does.
You came to talk on the
phone here to get my attention.
And boast that you're an
important person now, right?!
Broaden your world, Jahangir Ghaznavi.
Ugh.
Please bring a tea with
a banana to my room.
Get lost! [laughs]
[laughs]
[music playing]
That day, Doctor told me
he'd be out for two days.
And wanted me to take charge of the clinic.
[music: Do I Wanna Know?
Song by Arctic Monkeys]
Oh! It suits me damn well.
You don't look like cleaners at all.
I'm not.
This is all just a cover.
You're a drug seller and
are based here to sell grass.
Hello!
Dr. Bam?
That sticks around like
summat in your teeth?
Hello, darling! Are there
some aces up your sleeve?
-Yes, I'm Dr. Bam. -May I?
Course, welcome! Feel
free! Come in, please.
Please.
Look.
Don't breathe a word,
or I'll call the cops.
-Got it? -Yes.
One espresso, please!
Until I fall asleep.
-Would you like a cup of tea? -No, thanks.
-Welcome, darling. -Thank you.
I thought you'd keep me waiting
for hours before you saw me.
No, I should've seen you earlier.
-Doctor? -Yes, darling?
I'd like you to work on my face.
For example?
I may look better with a
slight cheek augmentation.
Any idea?
I'll augment your cheeks.
I also want my skin to be tightened.
I'll tighten you skin, too.
Don't you have any comments about my face?
It's terrific!
-Really? -Yes.
-Would you like a tea? -No, thanks.
- Haven't I just said I didn't want tea?
- Yes.
-How about you, Dr. Bam? -Go out.
He's drugged up to the
eyeballs. It must be grass.
Sheep doesn't love
grass as much as he does.
[laughs]
Doctor, my nose is a little big, isn't it?
Let me see your face in profile.
Towards me, towards
the wall, to the right...
Get up and turn around!
Sit down!
- What did you say your name was again?
- Taraneh.
Look, my beautiful Taraneh.
Your nose...
Doesn't need a surgery.
[chair moving]
It needs a reaction!
I don't get it.
Let me put it another way.
We'll...
Need a fersmisemice.
-What?! -Fersmisemice.
- What does that mean?
- It's a technical term meaning...
Aha, here it is.
This is a mouth with so many nerve vessels.
Only one joint welded wrongly
would be a recipe for disaster.
What will be the date of my operation?
Right now, darling.
Hey, boy!
Prepare the operating room.
- But we can't do it now.
- You thought we'd do it now?
[laughs]
No, seriously. Fix a date.
Tomorrow at 8:00 am.
I don't know whether you're kidding or not.
I'll be here at 6:00 am just for you!
Isn't it too early?
No, pretty girls should
be operated right away.
Then let me arrange it with someone.
- How much will be the cost?
- All of it is on me!
Hi, what's up... look, tomorrow...
She's showing interest
and I feel like flirting with her.
Well, that's not important.
How should I do the operation?
Watching the Doctor's work
doesn't make me a surgeon.
Doctor didn't do anything special.
He just cut the skin with a scalpel,
then filed and sanded the hard parts.
Doctor! Doctor! [voice calling]
- Are you certain about tomorrow?
- Yes, sure.
That was one of most difficult surgeries.
- I've heard many praising your work.
- That's the truth.
In different communities. [music: My
Heart Will Go On Song by Celine Dion]
Yeah, I've been in many communes.
No, community. Different groups of people.
You think I, as a doctor, don't
know what that word means?
[laughs]
How strange is your car!
Special! Say it's special.
As I'm single, I love special things.
Like your mole.
[laughs]
I'm going to make your nose this little!
I once heard dancing relieved stress.
And I danced.
[music playing]
[music playing]
[door opening]
[music playing, clanking sound]
[heartbeat sound]
What an asshole you are!
Don't smoke!
We're doing surgery. We're not in the park.
Take a puff and get busy
with it, totally focused.
Don't smoke this stuff!
[heartbeat sound]
That's cool! Smoke it!
Yeah.
-I... sh... un... cio... s? -What?
[blowing out smoke]
-Is she unconscious? -I'd better make sure.
She's unconscious.
Goggles!
[cinematic music playing]
Let me take them off. I can't see anything.
This is stupid.
As Doctor says, one should
grab every single chance.
Perhaps this is the starting point
for my rise to fame in the future.
Perhaps I was supposed to become a
well-known surgeon, but I didn't know that.
Someday I'll finally be famous.
[blood splashing]
What was that?
Blood?
It must be blood.
[body thud]
[cinematic music]
Doctor, great job!
Shut up!
[window opening]
-Misha? -What, honey?
I hear a cow mooing.
-What? -A cow.
[coughing]
-A cow? -Yeah.
-Where? -Shh!
[coughing]
Did you hear that?
[breathing loud]
[coughing]
That's my mom. She's coughing.
Don't talk rudely about your
mother. That's a cow mooing.
That's my mom coughing. Listen!
Does your mother cough like that?
Yes, she does. Haven't you heard it before?
-Even when you're not home? -Yes, always.
Rid your mother of it!
Block it, use a lid, a silencer, something.
Impolite!
She's mooing, am I impolite?
[notification sound]
[snoring]
[radio playing]
-Who's it? -Doctor.
Are you smiling at Doctor?
Yeah, he said he was happy with my work.
Taraneh texted me that she was
fine and had her dressing changed.
She asked me with coquetry
to have my mole removed.
She also sent me a beating
red heart with the message.
[clanking sound]
[hearbeat sound]
I just applied some ointment on
it, okay? I'll prescribe you a cream.
Keep it moisturized for three to four days.
Even poison is good when
it's for free. [heartbeat sound]
You said your wife loved your mole.
[music playing]
Some people do anything
in return for money.
From cutting off ears to
kidnapping or even killing.
This kind of people are very scary.
[music playing]
Misha, honey!
Come sweetheart! I bought
you Indian puffy snack.
-Jahan! -What, honey?
-Hi! -Hi!
My dear Jahan!
-Jahan?! -Yes, honey?
Come!
Come!
-You've changed, right? -Yeah. My manner.
-No kidding. -What?
-Where's your mole? -My mole?
- Oh! Where's my mole?
- Where's your mole, Jahan?
I might have washed it hard...
-Where's your mole? -Wait a sec.
- I went there. - Where?
I was at the clinic.
What did you do?
- Won't you beat me if I tell you?
- No, I won't. Go on!
- Doctor removed it.
- It was stupid of Doctor and you!
It looked like an ugly verruca.
Idiot, you only looked cute with that mole!
- But it was of no use to you!
- That's none of your business!
- Misha, he must be cheating on you!
- Why did you do it?
It was a shit thing you
got rid of your mole!
Look at his face! [Misha shouting]
-He looks like an ape! -Don't hit me.
Do you know how hard it was for me
to get used to your disgusting mole?!
[pot breaking]
Come on!
It was not only your
mole I tried to stand!
- Misha, Calm down!
- You sell drugs, you do anything you want.
- It looked like a black wart.
- Where's your mole?
Should I explain it to
you, too?! [Misha shouting]
Misha, break his nose! Ugly ape!
[laughs, roar of chatter]
Hi, my beauty!
Hi, my loving wife!
Why did you get so angry, huh?
I just had my mole removed.
I needed a change. There
was no need to fly into a rage.
My love, in the path of our
married life you and I should...
Hmmm?
[cinematic music]
I'm dying for your moon-like face!
[horror music]
[shouting]
Back off, cheeky monkey!
Why are you on my bed?
Are you blind? I was sleeping here.
I'm not blind, but you
could've made a sound.
So I'd know my mother-in-law
was sleeping in my wife's place.
Misha isn't on speaking terms with
you. That's why we changed places.
Piss off! I want to sleep.
Why don't you die?
Get lost or I'll give
you a smack in the gob!
I hope you snuff it.
[whistling, sewing machine noises]
[notification sound]
[whistling]
[Indian music playing]
Are you okay, pretty?
It's from the clinic.
Yes, Doctor?
Thank you...
Yes...
Yes, I fersmisemiced all...
Yes...
Yes...
Hi, miss...
Liar! You masqueraded
as the doctor, trickster!
Hold on! Why are you
talking to me like that?
Shut up!
What did you do to my
face, you piece of shit!
All I can see is a chandelier.
[cinematic music]
Is this the little nose you promised me?
-What the hell?! -Go to hell!
The swelling is normal. It'll go away.
Shut up!
I'll make you pay dearly.
I'll come to you soon!
Just a moment, darling.
Oh no! No, no, no!
He's still awake. Turn it on.
Oh, come on.
Was his left kidney for
sale or the right one?
This one! Left.
-You sure? Should I take it. -Yes, yes.
[door opening]
Doctor wants you to prepare the fridge.
[glass breaking]
[cinematic music]
Take a look outside to see what's going on!
[cinematic music]
Taraneh hit back!
She sent the heavy mob to kill me.
They were ruthless in their decision.
Where's Dr. Bam?
Where's Dr. Bam?
He's in his room.
[cinematic music, glass breaking]]
The same people who
would do anything for money.
Sometimes do the same things without it.
That savage was madly in love with Taraneh.
Parviz, kill him!
[tense music]
[kicking on the door]
[thud]
[tense music]
[crying for help]
I made a mistake! I'll
get inside from here.
I swear I'll get in.
[shouting]
Come inside, don't be afraid!
- We have a word with you!
- How are you, Saeid?
-You're Mohsen's son, aren't you? -No.
[window breaking, tense music]
[thud]
Ohh!!
Look what that trickster did to my nose.
You've made a mess here,
let me tell you what he...
[punching, tense music]
- Look, bro. Just a sec.
- Beat the hell out of him.
Wait a moment. Do whatever you
want, but keep your temper for a moment.
'Humans are the limbs of one body'.
- Damn you.
- Shut up, psycho! Look at my nose!
I'm explaining.
[screaming]
[door closing]
[door closing]
[tense music]
[gasping]
[tense music]
[heartbeat stops]
I died.
This time I really died.
Cardiac arrest.
[cat noise]
You see?
In the end, you came to me.
I told you I'd wash your body.
I'm going to wash you.
[claps]
'In your dreams!' you told me.
Turn on the tap.
Cold water.
[eating]
[funeral poets, crying]
Heaven is beneath all mothers' feet.
Mothers?!
[crying]
The deceased is a man, not a woman.
Jahan!
Heaven is beneath
all fathers' feet. [crying]
Stop singing, take it and clear off!
I love you, my tall man.
[crying]
[singing]
Cold water!
[singing]
[screaming]
[cinematic music]
Excuse me, where's the exit door?
At the end of the corridor, on the right.
He looked familiar.
Oh.
[screaming]
[screaming]
Oh God!!
[cinematic music]
[screaming]
There was a heavy
toll. 31 dead and injured.
One of the ambulance drivers
said something interesting.
Has a war broken out?
[ambulance siren]
'You washed dead bodies all your
life. You saw how mortuary workers are.
'In your dreams'
They say some genes are passed
down from the mother to the child.
I'm sure I inherited this ability to die
and come back to life from my mother.
My dear wife is gone.
[roar of cryings]
She's gone!
[crying]
-Come closer. -What is it, my son?
Now that Mom is gone, are
you going to marry Manizheh?
I don't think about any
woman except your mother.
-Really? -Yes.
But I saw you winking at her.
Shut up. Go!
[thud]
The dead is back to life!
The dead is back to life!
Why is she alive?
My mom came back to life.
Three months later, on
a cold winter's morning,
she had a stroke and
died for the second time.
God rest your dead.
Move in the direction I tell you.
Keep straight ahead, then turn left.
You're almost there.
Now turn left.
[thud]
The dead is back to life!
The dead is back to life!
You clumsy stupid, would you knock
into the damn post if it was your wife?
Why don't you turn left?
Why do you every time
bump into this damn thing,
But not me or that thing or this one?
Why do you bump into this only?!
Why do you bump into...
God!!
[saw noises]
My dad cut the wooden post stealthily.
So that if my mother died for the
third time, the coffin wouldn't hit it.
If I don't cut you, I'm not Ardeshir.
But my mother didn't die until my
dad went to his long rest before her.
That year again was the year of the cat.
[cinematic music]
Come on, man! I'm family.
I'm tired out. No car passes.
Where's everybody?
Why did he run away? [car door closing]
What's new?
[roar of groaning]
Are you all right, Auntie Maryam?
Uncle!
[groaning]
Uncle's wife!
[groaning]
-Where's my mom? -ICU!
[gasp]
-Where's my elder uncle? -In the morgue.
[roar of crying]
You're such a sinister soul, Jahangir!
Bahram died so suddenly.
Oh, no.
The poor man's lifeless
body was like this...
Oh, how sad!
Thank God you three weren't scared.
We?
I swear we're scared to death... sorry.
He's right. We just try to be natural.
Really?
Here! My wife's cousins!
Call Misha and tell her we're
together. The poor girl must be worried.
Okay!
[bus horn honking, screaming]
[crashing]
I'm sorry.
[whispring]
What?!
Excuse me, where are the
newly arrived accident victims?
-The BMW and truck accident? -Yes.
In the morgue.
-The three of them? -Yes.
Oh! No... Jahan!!
[crying]
Oh!
No... Jahan!!
[cinematic music]
Oh, Jahan!
[crying]
[snoring]
Who is it? What is it?
[screaming]
Oh, Jahan!
Didn't you have an accident?
The bith said the three men were dead.
The bitch talked garbage.
Oh, thank God!
My blood pressure dropped. I
drank a fruit juice and I felt fine.
-Oh, thank God! -Yeah, thank God!
[crying]
Where are Shahbaz and Behrouz?
They both died.
-It was a horrible death. -Oh, my.
Shahbaz's leg was found
on the other side of the road.
-God... -The nurse was right.
There were three of them,
the truck driver included.
Don't cry!
Death is inevitable.
-Pull over. -Why?
I've got some stuff to do.
-What stuff? -Stop the car!
-Where do you want to go? -Hunting.
What do you mean?
I'll take a pee in a flash.
Aha, hunting!
Let's go, Behrouz.
We should be thankful we're still alive.
He'll get us killed if he comes back.
He killed 60 percent of our relatives.
-Shall I move off? -Yeah, quick!
[roar of engine]
- Isn't he following us?
- No, just push the pedal to the metal.
[truck horn honking, screaming]
[cinematic music]
She finally died.
My condolences, God res...
What the hell is wrong
with you, wild people?!
[roar of chatter]
You sinister!
A FEW WEEKS LATER.
-Who did you wink at? -Pardon?
-Who did you wink at? -At the cat.
There's no cat.
On the chair.
Do you use meth? You're
hallucinating. There's nothing there.
[cat groaning]
[laughs]
You see what my wife says?!
[mobile ringing]
Who is it?
Hello?
Yes...
What?!
Television host?
No, I don't know you. Bye.
[bike noises]
[notification sound]
Yes?
-Hi, buddy! -Hi!
Now you're sure I'm Reza Rashidpour.
No! I don't know you.
Aha! You don't know who I am.
That's Reza! That's really Reza!
What do you mean?!
-Oh, hi Mr. Rashidpour! -What?!
He was a popular actor and
many people enjoyed his talk shows.
He invited me to his talkshow 'cause
I'd escaped death several times...
And had died once, but was still alive.
[cinematic music]
[lights on]
Misha, you can't imagine
how beautiful is this place.
It's got a TV as big as hour entire house.
Hang up, Jahangir!
You'll be on air in a minute.
Be ready, everyone!
Just a sec... Look, I'm on air!
On air?!
Aha, got it!
Tell them he's on air!
He's on air!
He looks terrified!
Do you think I'm scared?
Huh.
Of course you are! You're trembling.
You won't win! I've beaten
many, all bigger than you!
Three, two, one, on air!
Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen! Welcome to my show!
I have a very special guest
today; a man who doesn't die!
He takes lives!
He always throws the people
around him into the mouth of death!
His last story happened in the morgue.
Where he suddenly came
back to life after his death.
I'd rather cut a long story short,
and invite you to our conversation.
Ladies and gentlemen, here
we go! This is Jahangir Ghaznavi!
[clapping]
-In the name of God, who gives... -Life!
-Life? -Life!
Yeah, well said!
He's nervous!
God, Hakim... Ferdow...
- God, the Creator of...
- The Creator of speech, right!
Yes.
I'd like to say hello to you and the
crew who make TV programs here.
Our people are in difficulty.
Let me say hello to my dear wife.
I'd like to say hello to Leyla
and Reza the mechanic...
Thank you. It was a
warm and cordial greeting.
You must have got a little nervous.
Mr Ghaznavi, you suddenly became alive when
they were bathing your body in the morgue.
That's my starting point.
What were you feeling at that
very moment? Describe your feeling.
Well, I don't know how to say
it. Well... I felt... how can I say...
I shitted!
[laughs]
Was it impolite of me to say that?
[advertisement beep]
Beat the joyful drum,
Strike it victoriously and bravely!
What happened?
Is it a live show? [roar of laughter]
Why are you laughing, Reza?
Why did you use that impolite word?
I got nervous. I didn't
know it was a live broadcast.
Where did you find people like him?!
- What's that? - A cigarette, you want one?
Do you think this is a tea house?!
Don't get mad. Let's
go on air! I'll fix it.
Come on! At least don't laugh!
Why do you treat you guest like this?
I don't need your show.
We were on air and you used a swear word.
I admit it, it was impolite.
Just answer my questions.
Cheers!
[laughs]
-Did I lose face? -All of us!
- We'll be banned from working?
- Not yet, but be careful.
-That light glares down on me. -Spotlight.
- Anyway, that thing...
- Guys, that spotlight...
Ouch!! [thud]
God have mercy on him!
Don't let this one die. Especially on air!
[tense music]
[advertisement playing]
Reza might be dead, no?
Watch your tongue!
-That was a silly thing to say. -Okay.
It just started!
[roar of laughter]
Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologize.
I have a thirty-year record in this job.
This was the strangest thing
ever happened in a live broadcast.
I think everyone should be
afraid of Jahangir Ghaznavi.
Reza isn't funny at all!
[laughs]
The show was over and
fortunately no one died.
Reza's show brought me great fame.
Everyone wanted to take selfies with me.
Jagangir! Jahangir!
I love you, man!
How are you?
How are you, Jahangir!
[roar of chatter]
[cinematic music]
Me and the never-dying man!
My pics went viral. The
number of my fans went up.
But Misha didn't want to accept that...
My childhood dream came true,
and I was finally a famous man.
This is the life.
[changing TV channel]
Tonight, I'm going to talk about a
weird man, who is extremely vicious.
An Iranian guy whose name is
Jahangir Ghaznavi has taken many lives...
But who is this Jahangir Ghaznavi?
-That's me! -A lucky tall man.
Misha!
Misha!
Misha!
[screaming]
-It's me. -Get up!
They're showing me on
TV. I'm on the CNN channel!
What did you say?
I'm famous. The entire world knows me.
You're jealous of my fame. Come
and see! The CNN showing me.
-Get up! Come here! -Jahan!
Oh! Jahan! I have a headache.
I'll go crazy if I see
you're just teasing me.
Don't come!
The lamb uses his horn
to push the others away...
-Charging straight at it! -Oh.
How famous you are!
[sheep noises]
You had dinner an hour ago.
Why are you eating grass?
I swear on your Indian father's grave,
and on your Iranian mother's grave.
I was on the TV screen.
Hmm...
I believe you. You're still on the screen.
No, that's a sheep.
If you're still hungry...
There are some unwanted rotten
vegetables in the garbage can.
There's a conspiracy against me.
A terrible conspiracy is at play.
They know I'm achieving worldwide fame.
That's why they censored the
news and showed the sheep.
I know! A terrible conspiracy is at play.
A terrible conspiracy is at play. [banging]
I swear they were showing
me and not the sheep.
What's the CNN's contact number?
The wedding gown I
designed is the first of its kind.
I worked hard to make it.
Let me show you. Are you ready?
One... two... three!
[music playing, cheering]
It's really pretty!
[electrocution]
It short-circuited. Take it off!
Take it off! [screaming, music playing]
- What should she take off?
- Don't take it off!
Don't take it off!
[crying, radio playing]
I put a lot of effort into it!
Don't be upset, honey.
Don't be sad, sweetheart.
Accidents happen.
I congratulate you for being brave and
taking the risk of designing this dress.
However, that's not
enough to shoot to fame.
You've got to go through difficult stages.
That's what I'm doing to win fame.
-Shut up! -Why not.
That's Reza! [mobile ringing, laughs]
I'm famous. What can be done about it?!
You'll also become famous and
well-known people will call you.
I mean it. Yes?
Yes...
Yes...
Yes... [radio off]
- No, Reza.
- Put him on speaker. I want to hear it.
- Yes...
- Put him on speaker. I want to hear it.
Yes... Hold on a moment, please.
I won't want to take your
time. Just listen carefully.
Reza said one of his friends hosted a show
about the world's
extraordinary creatures...
Broadcast on one of Italy's TV channels.
For example, the last episode was
about a camel with the ability to laugh.
Imagine the camel's lips!
He'd seen me on Reza's talk show...
And invited me to go to Italy to
appear on his show as a guest.
[shouting]
That was awesome!
[singing]
Although lizards are skilled swimmers,
they cannot cross vast oceans.
What a generous wife!
She makes me clothes with
useless misshapen pieces of fabric.
-Jahan! -Yes?
Look at this. [TV noises]
What's that?
Isn't this one better than
that purple dcollet dress?
None of them. We're not going
to a wedding. We're going abroad.
I made the mistake of
asking for your opinion.
Fold it and put it in the
suitcase. [TV noises]
Okay. Folded, now in the suitcase.
Our good artist, our host.
-Put this too! -Mr Reza Rashidpour.
Passed away due to brain trauma.
Jahan, you're sitting
in a funny position.
God rest his soul...
Goodbye, love story...
Did he die, too?
Goodbye, light blue love...
[crying]
Goodbye, perfume of the night poems
I was overcome with
grief over Reza's death.
He sent us our plain
tickets just a few hours ago.
May he rest in peace.
Do you like dates?
Be careful not to burst!
Quiet! Sinister devil
with never-ending life!
It's none of your business, kid!
Your mother has failed to
teach you good manners.
Your father faild too.
Artists are like candles.
They burn to nourish our spirits.
He is here! [everyone gasps]
[tense music]
Please. Please...
-Don't bother, young lady. -Welcome!
[cinematic music]
[crying]
My friends leave me, one after another.
Death is like a stone and man like glass.
[cinematic music]
Behnam! Come on, hurry!
[roar of chatter, cinematic music]
[crashing]
Could you move a little? I
can't pass though. [horn honking]
- Oh, hello, man! How are you?
- Hi. Fine, thanks.
-It's very kind of you. -Wow.
-I love your acting. -Thank you.
The other guys, too. Let's take a selfie.
- But I need to move the car.
- No, just one pic. Please!
-Oh, God! -Just one picture.
-Don't stick to the car! -Hey!
Why are you doing this?!
[cinematic music]
[airport announcement]
[cinematic music]
Excuse me, I'd like to cancel my ticket.
You'll be fined, no problem?
No, they want to cancel their tickets, too.
-Isn't it hard? -What?
Living with a famous husband.
No! It isn't.
-Just a moment, sir! Hello! -Hi.
-Are you okay? -Yes.
I'm not afraid of you.
- I like you very much. You're so special!
- Thank you.
-Can I take a selfie with you? -A selfie?
-Yes! -Thanks.
-Take two pics! -Yes.
Ma'am, could you step aside?
-Stand back, let her take a picture. -What?
Just stand aside.
Don't get too close to
him! A little distance, good.
No, not that close!
I just want a selfie
with him. Did I eat him?!
Are you a shiteater to eat him?
What? Huh?!
Of course not.
Come on, be quick! Pretty!
You liked it?
Wasn't your remark too unanswerable?!
I had to say that. You saw her.
When we get to Italy, the girls
shouldn't come too near. Okay?
-They're all half naked! -All of them?
-You like that? -No.
- They're all coquettes, you wretch!
- Come on! What do you mean by that?
[thud]
-What's the matter? -He recognized me.
He got excited and changed his seat.
You've got to get used to
a famous husband, honey.
Disgusting!
He's a black foreigner.
Where are you from... come?
[airplane noises]
- What would you like to have?
- Anything with high percentage of it.
Pardon?
Liquid.
-Drinks. -Yes.
Tea, coffee, soda, Coca-Cola.
-Nothing else? -No.
-Aren't we flying abroad? -Yes.
People traveling abroad drink alcoholic
beverages and enjoy themselves abroad.
I'm sorry, we don't have any.
Then a black cherry juice, please.
Anything for your wife?
-Pardon? -Your wife.
Come on, she's not my wife.
I'm single.
She sat next to me 'cause
I'm famous. She bothers me.
Please tell the security, thank you.
[airplane noises]
[loud thud, screaming]
Ladies and gentlemen, we just
experienced a clear-air turbulence.
We're ready to land at Rome
International Airport. Have nice trip.
Where should we go?
-Why are you walking like a duck? -Come on!
I'm wearing high-heels.
What if nobody comes?
Reza said someone would
come to collect us at the airport.
I wish your late friend had sent
your photo to the person here.
They don't need my photo, honey.
- Everyone knows me. I'm famous.
- Mr. Ghaznavi!
There he is!
Hello, I'm Shahrokh,
your interpreter in Italy.
Hello.
How are you, Shahrokh?
Do you know me, Shahrokh?
Yes, of course. Everybody knows you.
Thank you.
[airport announcement]
Where are we going now?
We're going to see the studio, then
to the hotel. The car is at the entrance.
-Let's go! -Let's go.
- Where are the duty-free stores?
- Downstairs.
Aha, it's important for me to know...
[music playing]
[earthquake hits]
[screaming, loud thuds]
[tense music]
[clanking sound]
Ugh!
[groaning]
Oh!
My!
Oh!
Rome! Defenceless city!
What an odd Island!
Jahan, you're beginning
to scare me. [bell ringing]
[bell ringing]
Don't worry, in your case, I'm harmless.
I was held responsible
for the earthquake in Italy.
Rumours spread that it
happened because I was there.
My photo appeared on the
first page of The New York Times
The headline read 'This
man kills but is not a murderer'.
I finally gained international fame.
Even Brad Pitt posted my photo on
his page and wrote 'Please stop, man!'
The devastating Rome earthquake plunged
this city into sadness and bewilderment.
According the report of the Italian
Institute of Geophysics and Seismology...
Today's earthquake was
the greatest earthquake
ever to occur in the history of Italy.
Hamid Massouminezhad, Rome.
You see? Jahangir destroyed everything
wherever he goes, just like a bulldozer.
Give it to me. I'll sign it, too.
[doors closing, cinematic music]
[door opening]
[thud]
What's this?
[dramatic music]
[paper rustling]
The neighbors signed a testimony
that read 'Leave this neighborhood.
We love our lives.' [paper rustling]
So heartlessly!
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music]
[door closing]
After all these years, goodbye,
house of my sweet memories.
[dramatic music]
Sometimes it's much better to be unknown.
You can live at ease.
You can walk the streets
with your wife hand in hand.
No one points their finger at you or
laughs at you or makes a fool of you,
Or is afraid of you or even
wants to take a selfie with you.
You can easily be like
one of millions of people.
Who pass by each other
without knowing one another.
One, two...
[water splashing, screaming]
Are you finished?
With that year of the cat, yes.
It's my 84th birthday.
And this year is the year of the cat, too.
Don't worry. I'm not afraid at all.
The point is not whether
you're afraid or not, son.
The point is that this is a warning.
[cat groaning]
Pisst!
Meow!
[laughs]
What are you doing?
That's the cat I talked about.
Where is it?
Are you blind? He's
over there. Look at him.
There's no cat there.
Ugh.
Forget it. Was that enough?
The memories of that year
are enough for the first volume.
I must go now. I'll be in touch with you.
All right.
[cinematic music]
[car speeding, car horn honking]
[crashing, shouting]
That was the sixth writer who died.
This book is doomed to remain unpublished.
Stay away from me in the years of the cat.
This is not a threat...
It's a chance.
This is a humanitarian message.
[cinematic music]
The Year of the Cat. Directed by Mostafa
Taghizadeh. Produced by Saeid Khani.
[ambient night sound]
[cinematic music]
Hi! I was born on March
19th at 10:30 pm. [voiceover]
On a cold snowy night when
a biting wind was blowing.
It was a special night and, by
coincidence, it was the Moon in Scorpio.
It was the year of the cat, which
repeats every 12 years in the Zodiac cycle.
I was named Jahangir.
Having cut my umbilical cord and getting
paid, the stout birthing specialist left.
Unaware of the fact that it was
the eve of the year of the cat.
[door opening, woman screaming]
[tense music]
[door closing]
All that was left from the rotund
midwife, was a pile of bones.
[ambient night sound]
The world's longevity record holder,
aged 134, lived in our neighborhood.
He was a lively old man
nicknamed Noah. [cinematic music]
As everyone believed, after living so long,
it was extremely unlikely that he'd die.
[making silly noises]
Wow! Mr Noah!
My sweet son!
May you be always in excellent health!
Meet my child.
My Jahan!
Blow onto his face so
he'll live as long as you.
Please.
[blowing, cinematic music]
Thank you. Many thanks!
My sweet Jahan! Daddy loves
you so much! [singing, joyful music]
The world's longevity record holder...
[groaning]
[infant laughing]
Died!
The whole neighborhood believed
that the newly born baby was sinister.
They made the atmosphere
so tense that, a few years later...
My family and I had
to move to another city.
The name of that city was Picha.
[cinematic music]
We arrived in a bigger
city and began our new
life in the mansion of an Indian merchant.
I'll tell you stories about this
house and its people later on.
Let's get back to my
life's years of the cat.
I've always wanted to be
famous since childhood.
I jumped down!
[kid screaming]
[breaking sound]
And I was badly hurt.
[woman screaming]
Our neighbor's unlucky wife had a
miscarriage at the sight of the crash.
That year was the year of the cat, too.
[cinematic music]
Another sad thing happened the same year.
I went and turned the wet
air cooler up to the top speed.
[loud bang]
[screaming]
It must be really unlucky for a thief...
That someone happens to turn on the wet air
cooler, while he's busy stealing its motor.
Anyway, anywhere there was a trace of
me a handful of people died unexpectedly.
[match noises]
At the age of 24, when my
third cat year was going by...
I took the first puff on
my life's first cigarette.
Which resulted in the
death of twelve people.
[screaming]
[blowing]
You broke my heart
'cause I couldn't dance.
[Do You Love Me Song by The Contours]
My father died on one of my birthdays and
my mother passed away a few months later.
It was the year of the cat, again.
Now I'm 36 and this year
is the year of the cat, too.
Do you love me? (I can really move.)
Do you love me? (I'm in the groove.)
Now do you love me?
(Do you love me now that I can dance?)
Watch me, now. (Work,
work.) ah, work it out baby.
Try to keep your distance
from me in years of the cat.
This is not a threat but a chance.
It's a humanitarian message.
Now I can mash potatoes.
(I can mash potatoes.)
The Year of the Cat. Directed by Mostafa
Taghizadeh. Produced by Saeid Khani.
[cinematic music]
Everyday, a fawn wakes up in the jungle.
Knowing that it must run faster
than lions so as not to be hunted.
Likewise, a lion wakes up knowing
that it must run faster than the fawns...
If it doesn't want to stay hungry.
Either a lion or a fawn,
it makes no difference.
Always be ready to run
with all your strength.
[cinematic music]
Stop!
Stop!
Sorry, I might have been mistaken.
[cinematic music]
Thank you for the chador and cane.
Give me your number, will you?
[door closing]
[door opening]
[cinematic music]
[smooching]
My little darlings! [birds noises]
I love you all!
[gasp]
You eat it, huh?
Have you heard that cats
have seven lives? [voiceover]
I've seen it.
This cat doesn't leave me alone.
I tried to kill him several times,
but he has no intention of dying.
[cinematic music]
I'm not going to kill you this simple.
I have plans for you.
[cinematic music]
[cat screaming, man groaning]
[cinematic music]
Here is the end of the line.
Say hello to death.
[breathing]
No, I should come a little closer.
I'd rather come nearer. This
way I can blow you to bits!
Maybe a bit closer, huh?
It's better now.
Here is good.
You're about to suffer such a...
[shouting]
[gunshot]
I had an explosive bullet.
I could've knock you off.
But I'm the negotiating kind.
So don't appear in my
life again, for God's sake!
Don't come to see me again!
[cinematic music]
[door closing]
[tense music]
How did he get out of the gunny sack?
I'm sure I saw the road
sign that read 'Picha, 700km'.
[thud]
Anyway.
I just wanted to ask him how he travelled
all the way home to arrive sooner than me.
[birds noises]
Let's talk like two men.
You ate my cockatiel.
I'm bereaved because of you.
Let's make a deal.
Hey man, you'll go somewhere and
live your life. I'll leave you in peace.
As for me, I'll keep living my life,
but promise to leave me in peace.
Agreed?
Agreed! [cat speaking]
-Can you talk? -Yes!
I beg you not to talk in front of Misha
or she'll have a stroke and will die.
Okay!
Oh, you're good at English, too!
If I go on the street and tell a passerby
that I have an English-speaking cat,
Then I ask him to come to
meet you, what will he think?
Wouldn't he think I have
something bad on my mind?
[cinematic music]
This lady is Misha, my wife.
Daughter of an Indian
father and an Iranian mother.
My first encounter with Misha
was back in our childhood.
In the Indian merchant's house.
After we moved out of our home town.
My dad was employed as a cleaner
in the Indian merchant's house.
Where another cleaner worked as well.
The two cleaners were on bad
terms with each other from the get-go.
[cinematic indian music playing]
The first cleaner had a
daughter. This is her, Misha.
Misha had two cousins named Shahbaz and
Behrouz. They'll be
introduced to you later.
Misha and I grew up into teenagers
and fell in love with each other.
[cinematic indian music playing]
We put a big effort into convincing our
fathers not to drag
their quarrels at work...
Into the life of a would-be
couple and let us get married.
[cinematic music]
[slap]
[parrot noises]
We had trouble with our
wedding ceremony, too.
Misha's dad insisted on holding
the ceremony the Indian way.
While my dad was insistent that the
wedding should be held Iranian-style...
Or else forget it!
Anyway, the Indian merchant mediated
between them, and it was agreed that...
The wedding's style would
be half Iranian, half Indian.
[happy music playing, clapping]
He made a mistake, what he did was illegal.
Don't drink it!
[clapping, wedding music]
Excuse me a moment. I'll be back.
-How do I look? -Great!
-Take control of the party. -Okay.
We shouldn't fall behind these Indians.
- In full swing, set fire to it!
- No worries.
[whistling]
[wedding music, clapping]
[claps]
[indian music]
[flames sound]
Come here!
They're outperforming us.
I told you to set fire to the
party, but they're doing it.
-Do something! -Come forward, guys!
[flames roaring]
[screaming]
[fighting]
A letter arrived for the
Indian merchant from Mumbai.
It was from his teenage years' lover
for whom he left Iran for India forever.
[dramatic music]
[smooching sound]
[dramatic music]
[engine noises]
His house was left in the care
of Misha's father and my dad.
And we weren't allowed
to put even a nail on sale.
Our fathers passed away,
and Misha and I continued
living there along with
Misha's Iranian mother.
[radio noises]
[laughing]
You wretch!
[don't watch these stuff]
-Huh? -Shut up!
Go fetch me a cup of tea!
Get busy with your hair rollers!
I wish I'd gone blind instead
of having a son-in-law like you!
[laughing]
I hate your gaudy look
and your silly mole. Clear off!
Look.
You'd better stop getting on my nerves.
Before I make you pay!
Shut your gob and piss off!
Ugly!
[radio noises]
[doors opening]
I want to drink it.
It's tea.
-You want tea? -Yeah.
Go pour yourself one.
[radio noises]
It tastes weird.
-What do you mean? -It's bitter.
It's Chinese tea, drink it.
[gags]
[doorbell ringing]
[lights on]
[dog barking]
[machine noises]
-Password? -13-70.
[machine beep]
[here]
Thanks.
Hey.
[thud]
Give this on your way to Jamal.
[police siren]
[nylon rustling]
[door closing]
[knocking]
[door opening]
Hi, what's up?
-Why did you do that? -I did what?
You forced my brother
to buy drugs from you.
I didn't force anyone to buy my drugs.
You sold it to him
anyway and you're family.
Now what?
I wonder how Misha can
be so optimistic about you.
None of your business!
Don't make me talk to
you in abusive language.
Come on, I'm listening!
Have you no shame? Do you call this a job?
Is washing dead bodies a job?!
There's nothing wrong with
being a mortuary attendant.
-Really? Are you finished? -Yes.
[spitting]
Thanks for coming!
Jahangir...
Jahangir...
I've washed so many bodies and
wrapped shrouds around them for burial.
Hmm...
Someday it'll be your turn, too.
I'll wash your body damn well!
In your dreams!
[TV noises]
[TV noises]
The world is in complete chaos.
[thud]
-Be careful! -With what?
Your leg.
My leg doesn't hurt anymore.
The pain is gone!
What do you want those cigarettes for?
I don't know why I suddenly felt
like smoking after twenty years.
I'm going to smoke one of
your cigarettes, dear son.
Go ahead! Tonight is yours, beauty!
What sort of crap has my mother swallowed?
Don't talk about your mother like that.
You can't fool me, Jahangir.
I swear I'll call the police
to come and take you.
Don't do that to my mom.
I made her go into ecstasies, is it bad?
Did you see how fast she moved?
She jumped up like a firecracker
and went to stand in the moonlight...
And smoke a...
Dunderhead!
[laughing]
-Mother! -What, honey!
[laughing]
I told you, slow-witted
pygmy, two dozen times...
Not to come at the main
door to buy drugs from me.
Knock at the back
door, do you get it or not?
Does your wife know you
sell opium in the cellar?
Does your wife know you
buy opium in the cellar?
- That's my business.
- You disgust her, monkey!
Credit card!
I warn you not to talk
garbage again... dwarf monkey.
[nylon rustling]
-Password! -1352.
Your account is empty.
Try again, I've got some
million tomans in there.
I'm impressed, my millionaire!
[machine noises]
There's no money, man!
I must've brought the wrong bank card.
What?! The wrong card?
Give the stuff back.
It's gone.
Mahmoud, I'll...
I swear I'll give you such a hard slap
that you hover in the air for 48 hours!
Come on, give back the opium!
I don't have any money now.
- I'll pay it off, my neighbor.
- Give back the stuff!
Come on! Spit it out!
My gastric juices dissolved
it. It's running in my blood now.
Damn it.
See you!
Mahmoud! Come here for a minute.
No fighting, bro. Huh? [smooching]
- I ask you politely to spit it out.
- I can't.
I'm sure if I slap you
across the face, people
will come to take your
dead body out of here.
[slap]
[ears ringing]
You killed me!
[body thud]
Mahmoud... what happened to you?
Mahmoud!
Mahmoud!
Mahmoud!
I swear I talked rubbish.
[rapid breathing]
I'd forgotten that it
was the year of the cat.
Mahmoud died... That
simple slap killed him.
[cinematic music]
Wow, lovely!
[smooching]
[cinematic music]
(Judge) [hammering]
Sentenced to death.
I did badly at the court.
I mean I was so scared
that I wetted myself.
[cinematic music]
[cameras shuttring]
A whole bunch of photographers
were taking my picture.
I felt so good.
As I told you, I've always
wanted to be famous.
A famous actor, singer, athlete,
politician, murderer, anything.
Or maybe a victorious gladiator for
whom everyone would yell hooray.
[cinematic music]
[shouting]
[thud]
[roar of crowd]
[shouting]
[crowd cheering]
Jahan!
[knocking]
Jahan! Pick it up!
- Hi.
- Honey, striped outfit really suits you.
I'll sure make you one.
-Exactly like this? -Yeah.
Thank you.
You've changed, right?
-My behaviour? -No, your look.
-My look? -Yeah.
- Do I look ugly?
- No, you must have done something.
Aha, I had my hair
dyed two shades brighter.
-Really? -Yeah.
[thud]
What?
[knocking]
I'm about to be hanged, and
you coloured your hair brighter.
Wouldn't you be hanged if I
didn't go to a beauty salon?
Did you get their consent?
Oh no, Jahan! Leyla is very
bad-tempered. She offends me.
What does it matter? Your
husband will be hanged soon.
Honey, you know that I love you.
What do you want me to tell her?
Go to see her tomorrow.
Tell her it's not fair to take
revenge. I didn't actually kill him.
He swallowed it and I slapped him.
Am I a murderer for a slap?
-Is that all? -Yes.
Go to her and try to impress her by special
words, relaxing and softening words.
Softly... Speak softly to make her
soften towards me and give us her consent.
Aha. Softly.
[chewing]
God rest your husband's soul.
We're advised to take revenge.
Actually, no murder was committed.
[chewing]
Your late husband swallowed it
and was given a slap. That's all.
That's all?!
Once your husband is hanged, you'll
be sure if a murder was committed or not.
Look at his mother.
She's just some flesh in a wheelchair.
She doesn't say anything, She
doesn't eat anything, nothing.
But his mother has been in a wheelchair
since she had a stroke four years ago.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway. [mouthfull]
We can't even eat a
morsel of bread. [mouthfull]
Cause my precious jewel is now lying
under a pile of earth because of you.
I see.
[chewing]
May he rest in peace.
But as far as I can remember, you always
called him by words
like parasite and useless.
I even remember you saying:
"Mahmoud, I pray that you die soon and
I get rid of you, you wretched druggie."
Maybe God has answered your prayer.
What else do you remember?
'You don't deserve the
bread you eat in this house.'
'A dog is more beneficial
than you, ' you told him.
[chewing]
[cinematic music]
[sigh]
-Go! -What?
Go, go!
[gun noises]
[gunshots]
It was no use talking gently to
Leyla, that big unattractive woman.
[gate opening]
-Jahangir Ghaznavi. -Yes?
Pack your things and get out.
-Am I free? -Yes, but free of life.
Solitary confinement, and
the noose around your neck.
Say goodbye and come out.
[cinematic music, heavy breathing]
[door opening]
Ghaznavi.
Don't you need anything?
I have a few questions.
Don't get up. I'm coming in.
[door opening]
Don't think about escaping.
I want to change position.
-What's up? -Nothing.
-What time is it? -Around 12.
You still have five more hours. Enjoy it.
Give me a cigarette.
[lighter clicking]
A cup of tea with be wonderful with it.
-Bring me a tea. -We don't have it.
- How am I supposed to be killed?
- It's simple.
They'll take you onto the gallows,
then fit the noose around your neck.
And I'll kick away the stool.
-You're going to do it? -Yes.
I kicked away one this morning,
and you'll be the next tomorrow.
- How can you possibly kick away the stool?
- Like this.
I mean how can you be so cold-hearted?
I just do this.
Are you half-witted?
I said how you could kick
away the stool so cold-heartedly?
Oh.
I'll just give it a kick to rid
both you and me of suffering.
Am I wrong?
No, do your job.
[rapid breathing]
Ghaznavi, your nerves are frayed.
It'll hardly take two minutes.
You'll be taken to the scaffold, the
noose around your neck and over!
I swear on my mother's life, I
just gave him a slap... like this.
-Are you dead now? -Not really.
They want to hang me just for a slap.
It's not fair on you.
Look, 'Between pillar and
post there maybe rescue.'
What does that mean?
You'll be led to the
gallows, but won't be hanged.
'Cause you just gave a
slap. I'm optimistic about it.
Are you sure?
Yeah, of course! You
just gave him a slap.
- You mean all these procedures...
- Just formalities.
- Do you mean it?
- They're just frightening you.
-Was it just a slap? -Yes.
You'll be at the gallows,
but won't be hanged.
[cinematic music]
Jahan!
[dog barking]
[body thud, ambulance siren]
- Where are they taking my wife?
- To the clinic.
I wish she stayed to see that
they're just playing a trick on me.
Get moving.
What was the proverb
you told me last night?
'Between pillar and
post there maybe rescue.'
- Do you have faith in this proverb?
- Of course I do.
- Has it happened before me?
- A lot of times.
Seriously? Can I be sure of that?
My intuition tells me you'll survive.
Thank God.
Wait a minute.
How is it going?
Won't you give your consent?
Hmph.
An old saying goes 'Between
pillar and post there maybe...'
-What was it? -Rescue.
Rescue.
We'll see.
-Ghaznavi? -What?
What are you pleading for? Don't do it.
Yeah, I don't need your consent!
-Where should we go? -Over there.
Sure!
[laughs]
- Did you like the way I talked to her?
- Yeah, very much.
When you ensured me that I won't be hanged,
I told her firmly not to give her consent.
Every instinct tells
me you'll escape death.
Yes.
-Hey? -What?
[cinematic music]
We're getting nearer.
Let's go! Don't worry.
I already told you how it would end.
This is where it ends.
No need to be scared.
- Okay, this is where you talked about.
- Right guess.
-Pillar and rescue. -Yeah.
- What shall we do now?
- Let's walk to the gallows post.
-Climb up! -What?
-Go up! -What for?
The weather is much better there!
It was supposed to end here.
Move up and don't daydream.
-Why did your tone change? -Huh?
Why did your tone change?
Don't talk nonsense. Go up!
Give me a minute!
I'm seriously stepping on the stool!
You said 'Between pillar
and post there maybe rescue.'
- I didn't.
- I should be standing here, not there!
Wait! This is no joke! I'm on the stool.
Wait a minute!
Damn you and your proverb!
Don't be rude.
I'm not being rude, I'm just
saying damn you and your...
Put the rope around his
neck. And a cloth around his.
Leyla! Leyla!
I'm sorry Leyla, forgive me!
You see how he's shrieking?
Shall I let him die or get the blood money?
I'm sorry!
Okay, so I'll get the blood money.
[helicopter noises]
You have my consent! I forgive
you! [voice lost in helicopter noises]
Misha!!!
[thud]
[alarm noises]
[door buzzing open]
[joyful music playing]
[clapping]
That goddamn helicopter
passed across the sky overhead...
At the worst possible
moment, so no one heard Leyla.
But if Hashem the Gorilla who weighed over
200 kg hadn't been hanged the day before,
And it wouldn't have broken
while I was being hanged.
The gallows post wouldn't have cracked
[thud, cinematic music]
[breaking sound]
Everything in the world
is connected in some way.
Like a butterfly flapping its wings in
Brazil and causing a storm in Texas.
[gunshot]
[windblowing]
When Misha and Leyla got around
and found out what had happened,
They hugged each other
and shed tears of joy.
[heartbeat machine]
I was released from prison
after I served my sentence.
The first thing I had to do was to
thank someone to whom I owe a lot.
For one valuable advice: not
losing hope until the last second.
You're in a good place.
I know.
My intuition says so!
What characterizes the years
of the cat in my life is that.
I'm in danger, but the others die.
I repented and swore an
oath never to sell illegal stuff.
[cinematic music]
[water splashing]
Mrs. Leila and Misha had agreed
on Mahmouds blood money...
It would be a Peugeot 206 instead.
Not that Mahmoud was
worth much more anyway.
[cinematic music]
There was a 1968 Jaguar that
belonged to the Indian merchant.
It hadn't been driven for ages.
[cinematic music]
[water splashing]
I decided to sit behind
the wheel of the merchant's
car and carry passengers to earn a living.
It was a charming car, but
no one trusted it to get a ride.
Cause nowadays no one
uses these cars as taxis.
- Ma'am, get in, please.
- Shut up and get lost!
I work as a taxi driver!
[cinematic music]
What a mess.
Only one person asked for
a trip, but I wish he hadn't.
[cinematic music]
Write them down, hope
you've a pen and paper.
One lip lift at 12:00
noon, another at 2:00 pm.
Watch their appointments won't overlap.
A nose job at 5:00 pm.
Don't get all mixed up.
Oh God, I pray to you that
everything goes well today!
My car's in for a service.
I'll be a bit late, bye.
Excuse me, sir, what do you do?
I'm aesthetic and plastic
surgeon, dr. Aref Bam.
Doesn't my last name
remind you of something?
The Bam eggplant.
It didn't remind you of
Bam's big earthquake,
but it reminded you of its eggplants.
I'm sorry. [laughs]
I myself am nothing
less than an earthquake.
First I knock down and flatten
them, then rebuild and shape them.
- Houses? - No, lips, faces, jaws, mouths.
I turn large, humped noses
into pug and AA battery-like ones.
Wow, so you must be rolling in it.
Yeah, I am.
- Are you a famous doctor?
- Yes, very famous.
What's the secret to becoming famous?
Look, son. I get my
eyes to work efficiently.
-I see everything an opportunity. -Aha.
Nowadays the secret
of success is cleverness.
So look at each and all things
intently to be able to use them.
Look, seeing is different from looking.
-Yeah. -What a meaningful remark!
Stop the car, stop... stop, stop!
Yeah.
Is anything wrong?
You didn't look carefully
and lost the opportunity.
- Seeing is different from looking!
- Seeing is different from looking!
-Well done. -Thank you.
[car door closing]
[motorbike passing]
Get out!
[car door opening]
Open the drunk lid.
We were near to losing
a golden opportunity.
-What are these? -Imported tobacco.
I know clients who'll buy it.
You'll get your share of money, too.
Come on, load them into the car.
Wow! Gather them all!
Euh!!
[laughs]
Wow! Excellent!
It's not very fresh, but it's wonderful.
Don't taste it!
Are you allergic?
-Do you mind if I say something? -Huh?
This isn't tobacco.
-What is it then? -It's poo.
- Is that the brand name?
- No, it's real poo.
Children call it poo.
Fecal sample.
-Poo? Poop?! -Yeah.
What you tasted is
Saeid Malakouti's, age: 75.
[vomitting]
Ew!
[vomitting]
A lip lift at noon, another one at 3:00 pm.
Lip lift 2:00 pm.
A lip at 2:00pm and a nose job at 5:00 pm.
I bet you'll call fifteen
minutes later to ask again.
Did you put the kidneys in the fridge?
All right.
-Do you have a restaurant? -Nope!
My clinic is multipurpose.
Aesthetic surgery, organ
transplantation, organ trade...
As I said, I grab all the chances.
- Seeing is different from looking.
- Seeing is different from looking.
But I think where you got out
of the car, you were mistaken.
Okay! [laughs]
Don't remind me of it.
Come to my clinic so I'll
remove your dark ugly mole.
Nop! My wife loves it. [mobile ringing]
You're such a pain in the ass!
Why are you so beef-brained?!
I said at 12:00 noon!
[music playing in the car]
I'm sure he takes drugs.
Such a degree of dumbness!
Your secretary?
No, I fired my secretary
last week. He's my cleaner.
I put him in charge until
I find a reliable secretary.
Sir...
I'm a reliable person.
Now that you're reliable, let
me tell you some secret words.
Okay.
In this clinic pulse means
heart. [music playing in the office]
-Pulse is heart. -Bean means kidney.
-Hepar means liver. -Hepar is liver, okay.
Is spleen among our secret codes?
- Am I joking with you?
- I swear I was dead serious.
-That was a stupid question. -Sorry.
I got it. I'm at your service now.
[gags]
What happened?
-I suddenly remembered Saeid. -Who's Saeid?
-That. -Aha, Saeid Malakouti, age: 75!
There's no need to mention his name.
Sorry, I said it, cause seeing
is different from looking.
I liked it! [laughs]
-Get down to work. -Sure!
[music: Ocean Drive Song by Duke Dumont]
Welcome to Bam Aesthetic Plastic Clinic!
[cleaning window]
Are you as high as kite?
-I'm wiping it. -Really?
Stop rubbing. The pane almost vanished.
-Smoked pot, didn't you? -No.
I'm a pro at it.
How about I roll one to smoke together?
I just put out one. Keep rubbing!
- So let me know.
- Look, I'm the new manager here.
To me moral code is what matters most.
Wipe it! Good luck.
Well.
Leave a space for lips.
Don't do it for the teeth.
There is stuff on it... Ah!
You good, brother?
Thanks.
- You are the one getting the surgery?
- Isn't it obvious? I did it.
Let me see, smile.
Good luck.
Welcome.
I began to work at
Dr. Bam's clinic. [voiceover]
All medical services were
offered to patients there.
From nose, jaw, and mouth surgeries...
To lip and body filler injections,
dental laminates, and hair transplants.
Dr. Bam was truly Jack of all trades.
[cinematic music]
[door opening]
[smooching]
Hold on a moment.
I can't get any signals. I can't hear you.
Let me move a little.
Hello?! Oh, it's as clear as a bell now!
Hello, I'm Jahangir Ghaznavi,
manager of Bam Aesthetic Clinic!
One pulse, one bean...
Pardon?!
No, we don't sell lamb testicles.
We don't buy them, either. [radio playing]
We don't find a use for them.
There should be something
inside the body for the funeral.
Thank you.
Thanks for calling, bye.
'I got a job as a medical secretary!'
You work in an offal restaurant!
To your eyes it's a restaurant,
but they're the tools of our trade.
Don't put on an act!
I know you better than your mother does.
You came to talk on the
phone here to get my attention.
And boast that you're an
important person now, right?!
Broaden your world, Jahangir Ghaznavi.
Ugh.
Please bring a tea with
a banana to my room.
Get lost! [laughs]
[laughs]
[music playing]
That day, Doctor told me
he'd be out for two days.
And wanted me to take charge of the clinic.
[music: Do I Wanna Know?
Song by Arctic Monkeys]
Oh! It suits me damn well.
You don't look like cleaners at all.
I'm not.
This is all just a cover.
You're a drug seller and
are based here to sell grass.
Hello!
Dr. Bam?
That sticks around like
summat in your teeth?
Hello, darling! Are there
some aces up your sleeve?
-Yes, I'm Dr. Bam. -May I?
Course, welcome! Feel
free! Come in, please.
Please.
Look.
Don't breathe a word,
or I'll call the cops.
-Got it? -Yes.
One espresso, please!
Until I fall asleep.
-Would you like a cup of tea? -No, thanks.
-Welcome, darling. -Thank you.
I thought you'd keep me waiting
for hours before you saw me.
No, I should've seen you earlier.
-Doctor? -Yes, darling?
I'd like you to work on my face.
For example?
I may look better with a
slight cheek augmentation.
Any idea?
I'll augment your cheeks.
I also want my skin to be tightened.
I'll tighten you skin, too.
Don't you have any comments about my face?
It's terrific!
-Really? -Yes.
-Would you like a tea? -No, thanks.
- Haven't I just said I didn't want tea?
- Yes.
-How about you, Dr. Bam? -Go out.
He's drugged up to the
eyeballs. It must be grass.
Sheep doesn't love
grass as much as he does.
[laughs]
Doctor, my nose is a little big, isn't it?
Let me see your face in profile.
Towards me, towards
the wall, to the right...
Get up and turn around!
Sit down!
- What did you say your name was again?
- Taraneh.
Look, my beautiful Taraneh.
Your nose...
Doesn't need a surgery.
[chair moving]
It needs a reaction!
I don't get it.
Let me put it another way.
We'll...
Need a fersmisemice.
-What?! -Fersmisemice.
- What does that mean?
- It's a technical term meaning...
Aha, here it is.
This is a mouth with so many nerve vessels.
Only one joint welded wrongly
would be a recipe for disaster.
What will be the date of my operation?
Right now, darling.
Hey, boy!
Prepare the operating room.
- But we can't do it now.
- You thought we'd do it now?
[laughs]
No, seriously. Fix a date.
Tomorrow at 8:00 am.
I don't know whether you're kidding or not.
I'll be here at 6:00 am just for you!
Isn't it too early?
No, pretty girls should
be operated right away.
Then let me arrange it with someone.
- How much will be the cost?
- All of it is on me!
Hi, what's up... look, tomorrow...
She's showing interest
and I feel like flirting with her.
Well, that's not important.
How should I do the operation?
Watching the Doctor's work
doesn't make me a surgeon.
Doctor didn't do anything special.
He just cut the skin with a scalpel,
then filed and sanded the hard parts.
Doctor! Doctor! [voice calling]
- Are you certain about tomorrow?
- Yes, sure.
That was one of most difficult surgeries.
- I've heard many praising your work.
- That's the truth.
In different communities. [music: My
Heart Will Go On Song by Celine Dion]
Yeah, I've been in many communes.
No, community. Different groups of people.
You think I, as a doctor, don't
know what that word means?
[laughs]
How strange is your car!
Special! Say it's special.
As I'm single, I love special things.
Like your mole.
[laughs]
I'm going to make your nose this little!
I once heard dancing relieved stress.
And I danced.
[music playing]
[music playing]
[door opening]
[music playing, clanking sound]
[heartbeat sound]
What an asshole you are!
Don't smoke!
We're doing surgery. We're not in the park.
Take a puff and get busy
with it, totally focused.
Don't smoke this stuff!
[heartbeat sound]
That's cool! Smoke it!
Yeah.
-I... sh... un... cio... s? -What?
[blowing out smoke]
-Is she unconscious? -I'd better make sure.
She's unconscious.
Goggles!
[cinematic music playing]
Let me take them off. I can't see anything.
This is stupid.
As Doctor says, one should
grab every single chance.
Perhaps this is the starting point
for my rise to fame in the future.
Perhaps I was supposed to become a
well-known surgeon, but I didn't know that.
Someday I'll finally be famous.
[blood splashing]
What was that?
Blood?
It must be blood.
[body thud]
[cinematic music]
Doctor, great job!
Shut up!
[window opening]
-Misha? -What, honey?
I hear a cow mooing.
-What? -A cow.
[coughing]
-A cow? -Yeah.
-Where? -Shh!
[coughing]
Did you hear that?
[breathing loud]
[coughing]
That's my mom. She's coughing.
Don't talk rudely about your
mother. That's a cow mooing.
That's my mom coughing. Listen!
Does your mother cough like that?
Yes, she does. Haven't you heard it before?
-Even when you're not home? -Yes, always.
Rid your mother of it!
Block it, use a lid, a silencer, something.
Impolite!
She's mooing, am I impolite?
[notification sound]
[snoring]
[radio playing]
-Who's it? -Doctor.
Are you smiling at Doctor?
Yeah, he said he was happy with my work.
Taraneh texted me that she was
fine and had her dressing changed.
She asked me with coquetry
to have my mole removed.
She also sent me a beating
red heart with the message.
[clanking sound]
[hearbeat sound]
I just applied some ointment on
it, okay? I'll prescribe you a cream.
Keep it moisturized for three to four days.
Even poison is good when
it's for free. [heartbeat sound]
You said your wife loved your mole.
[music playing]
Some people do anything
in return for money.
From cutting off ears to
kidnapping or even killing.
This kind of people are very scary.
[music playing]
Misha, honey!
Come sweetheart! I bought
you Indian puffy snack.
-Jahan! -What, honey?
-Hi! -Hi!
My dear Jahan!
-Jahan?! -Yes, honey?
Come!
Come!
-You've changed, right? -Yeah. My manner.
-No kidding. -What?
-Where's your mole? -My mole?
- Oh! Where's my mole?
- Where's your mole, Jahan?
I might have washed it hard...
-Where's your mole? -Wait a sec.
- I went there. - Where?
I was at the clinic.
What did you do?
- Won't you beat me if I tell you?
- No, I won't. Go on!
- Doctor removed it.
- It was stupid of Doctor and you!
It looked like an ugly verruca.
Idiot, you only looked cute with that mole!
- But it was of no use to you!
- That's none of your business!
- Misha, he must be cheating on you!
- Why did you do it?
It was a shit thing you
got rid of your mole!
Look at his face! [Misha shouting]
-He looks like an ape! -Don't hit me.
Do you know how hard it was for me
to get used to your disgusting mole?!
[pot breaking]
Come on!
It was not only your
mole I tried to stand!
- Misha, Calm down!
- You sell drugs, you do anything you want.
- It looked like a black wart.
- Where's your mole?
Should I explain it to
you, too?! [Misha shouting]
Misha, break his nose! Ugly ape!
[laughs, roar of chatter]
Hi, my beauty!
Hi, my loving wife!
Why did you get so angry, huh?
I just had my mole removed.
I needed a change. There
was no need to fly into a rage.
My love, in the path of our
married life you and I should...
Hmmm?
[cinematic music]
I'm dying for your moon-like face!
[horror music]
[shouting]
Back off, cheeky monkey!
Why are you on my bed?
Are you blind? I was sleeping here.
I'm not blind, but you
could've made a sound.
So I'd know my mother-in-law
was sleeping in my wife's place.
Misha isn't on speaking terms with
you. That's why we changed places.
Piss off! I want to sleep.
Why don't you die?
Get lost or I'll give
you a smack in the gob!
I hope you snuff it.
[whistling, sewing machine noises]
[notification sound]
[whistling]
[Indian music playing]
Are you okay, pretty?
It's from the clinic.
Yes, Doctor?
Thank you...
Yes...
Yes, I fersmisemiced all...
Yes...
Yes...
Hi, miss...
Liar! You masqueraded
as the doctor, trickster!
Hold on! Why are you
talking to me like that?
Shut up!
What did you do to my
face, you piece of shit!
All I can see is a chandelier.
[cinematic music]
Is this the little nose you promised me?
-What the hell?! -Go to hell!
The swelling is normal. It'll go away.
Shut up!
I'll make you pay dearly.
I'll come to you soon!
Just a moment, darling.
Oh no! No, no, no!
He's still awake. Turn it on.
Oh, come on.
Was his left kidney for
sale or the right one?
This one! Left.
-You sure? Should I take it. -Yes, yes.
[door opening]
Doctor wants you to prepare the fridge.
[glass breaking]
[cinematic music]
Take a look outside to see what's going on!
[cinematic music]
Taraneh hit back!
She sent the heavy mob to kill me.
They were ruthless in their decision.
Where's Dr. Bam?
Where's Dr. Bam?
He's in his room.
[cinematic music, glass breaking]]
The same people who
would do anything for money.
Sometimes do the same things without it.
That savage was madly in love with Taraneh.
Parviz, kill him!
[tense music]
[kicking on the door]
[thud]
[tense music]
[crying for help]
I made a mistake! I'll
get inside from here.
I swear I'll get in.
[shouting]
Come inside, don't be afraid!
- We have a word with you!
- How are you, Saeid?
-You're Mohsen's son, aren't you? -No.
[window breaking, tense music]
[thud]
Ohh!!
Look what that trickster did to my nose.
You've made a mess here,
let me tell you what he...
[punching, tense music]
- Look, bro. Just a sec.
- Beat the hell out of him.
Wait a moment. Do whatever you
want, but keep your temper for a moment.
'Humans are the limbs of one body'.
- Damn you.
- Shut up, psycho! Look at my nose!
I'm explaining.
[screaming]
[door closing]
[door closing]
[tense music]
[gasping]
[tense music]
[heartbeat stops]
I died.
This time I really died.
Cardiac arrest.
[cat noise]
You see?
In the end, you came to me.
I told you I'd wash your body.
I'm going to wash you.
[claps]
'In your dreams!' you told me.
Turn on the tap.
Cold water.
[eating]
[funeral poets, crying]
Heaven is beneath all mothers' feet.
Mothers?!
[crying]
The deceased is a man, not a woman.
Jahan!
Heaven is beneath
all fathers' feet. [crying]
Stop singing, take it and clear off!
I love you, my tall man.
[crying]
[singing]
Cold water!
[singing]
[screaming]
[cinematic music]
Excuse me, where's the exit door?
At the end of the corridor, on the right.
He looked familiar.
Oh.
[screaming]
[screaming]
Oh God!!
[cinematic music]
[screaming]
There was a heavy
toll. 31 dead and injured.
One of the ambulance drivers
said something interesting.
Has a war broken out?
[ambulance siren]
'You washed dead bodies all your
life. You saw how mortuary workers are.
'In your dreams'
They say some genes are passed
down from the mother to the child.
I'm sure I inherited this ability to die
and come back to life from my mother.
My dear wife is gone.
[roar of cryings]
She's gone!
[crying]
-Come closer. -What is it, my son?
Now that Mom is gone, are
you going to marry Manizheh?
I don't think about any
woman except your mother.
-Really? -Yes.
But I saw you winking at her.
Shut up. Go!
[thud]
The dead is back to life!
The dead is back to life!
Why is she alive?
My mom came back to life.
Three months later, on
a cold winter's morning,
she had a stroke and
died for the second time.
God rest your dead.
Move in the direction I tell you.
Keep straight ahead, then turn left.
You're almost there.
Now turn left.
[thud]
The dead is back to life!
The dead is back to life!
You clumsy stupid, would you knock
into the damn post if it was your wife?
Why don't you turn left?
Why do you every time
bump into this damn thing,
But not me or that thing or this one?
Why do you bump into this only?!
Why do you bump into...
God!!
[saw noises]
My dad cut the wooden post stealthily.
So that if my mother died for the
third time, the coffin wouldn't hit it.
If I don't cut you, I'm not Ardeshir.
But my mother didn't die until my
dad went to his long rest before her.
That year again was the year of the cat.
[cinematic music]
Come on, man! I'm family.
I'm tired out. No car passes.
Where's everybody?
Why did he run away? [car door closing]
What's new?
[roar of groaning]
Are you all right, Auntie Maryam?
Uncle!
[groaning]
Uncle's wife!
[groaning]
-Where's my mom? -ICU!
[gasp]
-Where's my elder uncle? -In the morgue.
[roar of crying]
You're such a sinister soul, Jahangir!
Bahram died so suddenly.
Oh, no.
The poor man's lifeless
body was like this...
Oh, how sad!
Thank God you three weren't scared.
We?
I swear we're scared to death... sorry.
He's right. We just try to be natural.
Really?
Here! My wife's cousins!
Call Misha and tell her we're
together. The poor girl must be worried.
Okay!
[bus horn honking, screaming]
[crashing]
I'm sorry.
[whispring]
What?!
Excuse me, where are the
newly arrived accident victims?
-The BMW and truck accident? -Yes.
In the morgue.
-The three of them? -Yes.
Oh! No... Jahan!!
[crying]
Oh!
No... Jahan!!
[cinematic music]
Oh, Jahan!
[crying]
[snoring]
Who is it? What is it?
[screaming]
Oh, Jahan!
Didn't you have an accident?
The bith said the three men were dead.
The bitch talked garbage.
Oh, thank God!
My blood pressure dropped. I
drank a fruit juice and I felt fine.
-Oh, thank God! -Yeah, thank God!
[crying]
Where are Shahbaz and Behrouz?
They both died.
-It was a horrible death. -Oh, my.
Shahbaz's leg was found
on the other side of the road.
-God... -The nurse was right.
There were three of them,
the truck driver included.
Don't cry!
Death is inevitable.
-Pull over. -Why?
I've got some stuff to do.
-What stuff? -Stop the car!
-Where do you want to go? -Hunting.
What do you mean?
I'll take a pee in a flash.
Aha, hunting!
Let's go, Behrouz.
We should be thankful we're still alive.
He'll get us killed if he comes back.
He killed 60 percent of our relatives.
-Shall I move off? -Yeah, quick!
[roar of engine]
- Isn't he following us?
- No, just push the pedal to the metal.
[truck horn honking, screaming]
[cinematic music]
She finally died.
My condolences, God res...
What the hell is wrong
with you, wild people?!
[roar of chatter]
You sinister!
A FEW WEEKS LATER.
-Who did you wink at? -Pardon?
-Who did you wink at? -At the cat.
There's no cat.
On the chair.
Do you use meth? You're
hallucinating. There's nothing there.
[cat groaning]
[laughs]
You see what my wife says?!
[mobile ringing]
Who is it?
Hello?
Yes...
What?!
Television host?
No, I don't know you. Bye.
[bike noises]
[notification sound]
Yes?
-Hi, buddy! -Hi!
Now you're sure I'm Reza Rashidpour.
No! I don't know you.
Aha! You don't know who I am.
That's Reza! That's really Reza!
What do you mean?!
-Oh, hi Mr. Rashidpour! -What?!
He was a popular actor and
many people enjoyed his talk shows.
He invited me to his talkshow 'cause
I'd escaped death several times...
And had died once, but was still alive.
[cinematic music]
[lights on]
Misha, you can't imagine
how beautiful is this place.
It's got a TV as big as hour entire house.
Hang up, Jahangir!
You'll be on air in a minute.
Be ready, everyone!
Just a sec... Look, I'm on air!
On air?!
Aha, got it!
Tell them he's on air!
He's on air!
He looks terrified!
Do you think I'm scared?
Huh.
Of course you are! You're trembling.
You won't win! I've beaten
many, all bigger than you!
Three, two, one, on air!
Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen! Welcome to my show!
I have a very special guest
today; a man who doesn't die!
He takes lives!
He always throws the people
around him into the mouth of death!
His last story happened in the morgue.
Where he suddenly came
back to life after his death.
I'd rather cut a long story short,
and invite you to our conversation.
Ladies and gentlemen, here
we go! This is Jahangir Ghaznavi!
[clapping]
-In the name of God, who gives... -Life!
-Life? -Life!
Yeah, well said!
He's nervous!
God, Hakim... Ferdow...
- God, the Creator of...
- The Creator of speech, right!
Yes.
I'd like to say hello to you and the
crew who make TV programs here.
Our people are in difficulty.
Let me say hello to my dear wife.
I'd like to say hello to Leyla
and Reza the mechanic...
Thank you. It was a
warm and cordial greeting.
You must have got a little nervous.
Mr Ghaznavi, you suddenly became alive when
they were bathing your body in the morgue.
That's my starting point.
What were you feeling at that
very moment? Describe your feeling.
Well, I don't know how to say
it. Well... I felt... how can I say...
I shitted!
[laughs]
Was it impolite of me to say that?
[advertisement beep]
Beat the joyful drum,
Strike it victoriously and bravely!
What happened?
Is it a live show? [roar of laughter]
Why are you laughing, Reza?
Why did you use that impolite word?
I got nervous. I didn't
know it was a live broadcast.
Where did you find people like him?!
- What's that? - A cigarette, you want one?
Do you think this is a tea house?!
Don't get mad. Let's
go on air! I'll fix it.
Come on! At least don't laugh!
Why do you treat you guest like this?
I don't need your show.
We were on air and you used a swear word.
I admit it, it was impolite.
Just answer my questions.
Cheers!
[laughs]
-Did I lose face? -All of us!
- We'll be banned from working?
- Not yet, but be careful.
-That light glares down on me. -Spotlight.
- Anyway, that thing...
- Guys, that spotlight...
Ouch!! [thud]
God have mercy on him!
Don't let this one die. Especially on air!
[tense music]
[advertisement playing]
Reza might be dead, no?
Watch your tongue!
-That was a silly thing to say. -Okay.
It just started!
[roar of laughter]
Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologize.
I have a thirty-year record in this job.
This was the strangest thing
ever happened in a live broadcast.
I think everyone should be
afraid of Jahangir Ghaznavi.
Reza isn't funny at all!
[laughs]
The show was over and
fortunately no one died.
Reza's show brought me great fame.
Everyone wanted to take selfies with me.
Jagangir! Jahangir!
I love you, man!
How are you?
How are you, Jahangir!
[roar of chatter]
[cinematic music]
Me and the never-dying man!
My pics went viral. The
number of my fans went up.
But Misha didn't want to accept that...
My childhood dream came true,
and I was finally a famous man.
This is the life.
[changing TV channel]
Tonight, I'm going to talk about a
weird man, who is extremely vicious.
An Iranian guy whose name is
Jahangir Ghaznavi has taken many lives...
But who is this Jahangir Ghaznavi?
-That's me! -A lucky tall man.
Misha!
Misha!
Misha!
[screaming]
-It's me. -Get up!
They're showing me on
TV. I'm on the CNN channel!
What did you say?
I'm famous. The entire world knows me.
You're jealous of my fame. Come
and see! The CNN showing me.
-Get up! Come here! -Jahan!
Oh! Jahan! I have a headache.
I'll go crazy if I see
you're just teasing me.
Don't come!
The lamb uses his horn
to push the others away...
-Charging straight at it! -Oh.
How famous you are!
[sheep noises]
You had dinner an hour ago.
Why are you eating grass?
I swear on your Indian father's grave,
and on your Iranian mother's grave.
I was on the TV screen.
Hmm...
I believe you. You're still on the screen.
No, that's a sheep.
If you're still hungry...
There are some unwanted rotten
vegetables in the garbage can.
There's a conspiracy against me.
A terrible conspiracy is at play.
They know I'm achieving worldwide fame.
That's why they censored the
news and showed the sheep.
I know! A terrible conspiracy is at play.
A terrible conspiracy is at play. [banging]
I swear they were showing
me and not the sheep.
What's the CNN's contact number?
The wedding gown I
designed is the first of its kind.
I worked hard to make it.
Let me show you. Are you ready?
One... two... three!
[music playing, cheering]
It's really pretty!
[electrocution]
It short-circuited. Take it off!
Take it off! [screaming, music playing]
- What should she take off?
- Don't take it off!
Don't take it off!
[crying, radio playing]
I put a lot of effort into it!
Don't be upset, honey.
Don't be sad, sweetheart.
Accidents happen.
I congratulate you for being brave and
taking the risk of designing this dress.
However, that's not
enough to shoot to fame.
You've got to go through difficult stages.
That's what I'm doing to win fame.
-Shut up! -Why not.
That's Reza! [mobile ringing, laughs]
I'm famous. What can be done about it?!
You'll also become famous and
well-known people will call you.
I mean it. Yes?
Yes...
Yes...
Yes... [radio off]
- No, Reza.
- Put him on speaker. I want to hear it.
- Yes...
- Put him on speaker. I want to hear it.
Yes... Hold on a moment, please.
I won't want to take your
time. Just listen carefully.
Reza said one of his friends hosted a show
about the world's
extraordinary creatures...
Broadcast on one of Italy's TV channels.
For example, the last episode was
about a camel with the ability to laugh.
Imagine the camel's lips!
He'd seen me on Reza's talk show...
And invited me to go to Italy to
appear on his show as a guest.
[shouting]
That was awesome!
[singing]
Although lizards are skilled swimmers,
they cannot cross vast oceans.
What a generous wife!
She makes me clothes with
useless misshapen pieces of fabric.
-Jahan! -Yes?
Look at this. [TV noises]
What's that?
Isn't this one better than
that purple dcollet dress?
None of them. We're not going
to a wedding. We're going abroad.
I made the mistake of
asking for your opinion.
Fold it and put it in the
suitcase. [TV noises]
Okay. Folded, now in the suitcase.
Our good artist, our host.
-Put this too! -Mr Reza Rashidpour.
Passed away due to brain trauma.
Jahan, you're sitting
in a funny position.
God rest his soul...
Goodbye, love story...
Did he die, too?
Goodbye, light blue love...
[crying]
Goodbye, perfume of the night poems
I was overcome with
grief over Reza's death.
He sent us our plain
tickets just a few hours ago.
May he rest in peace.
Do you like dates?
Be careful not to burst!
Quiet! Sinister devil
with never-ending life!
It's none of your business, kid!
Your mother has failed to
teach you good manners.
Your father faild too.
Artists are like candles.
They burn to nourish our spirits.
He is here! [everyone gasps]
[tense music]
Please. Please...
-Don't bother, young lady. -Welcome!
[cinematic music]
[crying]
My friends leave me, one after another.
Death is like a stone and man like glass.
[cinematic music]
Behnam! Come on, hurry!
[roar of chatter, cinematic music]
[crashing]
Could you move a little? I
can't pass though. [horn honking]
- Oh, hello, man! How are you?
- Hi. Fine, thanks.
-It's very kind of you. -Wow.
-I love your acting. -Thank you.
The other guys, too. Let's take a selfie.
- But I need to move the car.
- No, just one pic. Please!
-Oh, God! -Just one picture.
-Don't stick to the car! -Hey!
Why are you doing this?!
[cinematic music]
[airport announcement]
[cinematic music]
Excuse me, I'd like to cancel my ticket.
You'll be fined, no problem?
No, they want to cancel their tickets, too.
-Isn't it hard? -What?
Living with a famous husband.
No! It isn't.
-Just a moment, sir! Hello! -Hi.
-Are you okay? -Yes.
I'm not afraid of you.
- I like you very much. You're so special!
- Thank you.
-Can I take a selfie with you? -A selfie?
-Yes! -Thanks.
-Take two pics! -Yes.
Ma'am, could you step aside?
-Stand back, let her take a picture. -What?
Just stand aside.
Don't get too close to
him! A little distance, good.
No, not that close!
I just want a selfie
with him. Did I eat him?!
Are you a shiteater to eat him?
What? Huh?!
Of course not.
Come on, be quick! Pretty!
You liked it?
Wasn't your remark too unanswerable?!
I had to say that. You saw her.
When we get to Italy, the girls
shouldn't come too near. Okay?
-They're all half naked! -All of them?
-You like that? -No.
- They're all coquettes, you wretch!
- Come on! What do you mean by that?
[thud]
-What's the matter? -He recognized me.
He got excited and changed his seat.
You've got to get used to
a famous husband, honey.
Disgusting!
He's a black foreigner.
Where are you from... come?
[airplane noises]
- What would you like to have?
- Anything with high percentage of it.
Pardon?
Liquid.
-Drinks. -Yes.
Tea, coffee, soda, Coca-Cola.
-Nothing else? -No.
-Aren't we flying abroad? -Yes.
People traveling abroad drink alcoholic
beverages and enjoy themselves abroad.
I'm sorry, we don't have any.
Then a black cherry juice, please.
Anything for your wife?
-Pardon? -Your wife.
Come on, she's not my wife.
I'm single.
She sat next to me 'cause
I'm famous. She bothers me.
Please tell the security, thank you.
[airplane noises]
[loud thud, screaming]
Ladies and gentlemen, we just
experienced a clear-air turbulence.
We're ready to land at Rome
International Airport. Have nice trip.
Where should we go?
-Why are you walking like a duck? -Come on!
I'm wearing high-heels.
What if nobody comes?
Reza said someone would
come to collect us at the airport.
I wish your late friend had sent
your photo to the person here.
They don't need my photo, honey.
- Everyone knows me. I'm famous.
- Mr. Ghaznavi!
There he is!
Hello, I'm Shahrokh,
your interpreter in Italy.
Hello.
How are you, Shahrokh?
Do you know me, Shahrokh?
Yes, of course. Everybody knows you.
Thank you.
[airport announcement]
Where are we going now?
We're going to see the studio, then
to the hotel. The car is at the entrance.
-Let's go! -Let's go.
- Where are the duty-free stores?
- Downstairs.
Aha, it's important for me to know...
[music playing]
[earthquake hits]
[screaming, loud thuds]
[tense music]
[clanking sound]
Ugh!
[groaning]
Oh!
My!
Oh!
Rome! Defenceless city!
What an odd Island!
Jahan, you're beginning
to scare me. [bell ringing]
[bell ringing]
Don't worry, in your case, I'm harmless.
I was held responsible
for the earthquake in Italy.
Rumours spread that it
happened because I was there.
My photo appeared on the
first page of The New York Times
The headline read 'This
man kills but is not a murderer'.
I finally gained international fame.
Even Brad Pitt posted my photo on
his page and wrote 'Please stop, man!'
The devastating Rome earthquake plunged
this city into sadness and bewilderment.
According the report of the Italian
Institute of Geophysics and Seismology...
Today's earthquake was
the greatest earthquake
ever to occur in the history of Italy.
Hamid Massouminezhad, Rome.
You see? Jahangir destroyed everything
wherever he goes, just like a bulldozer.
Give it to me. I'll sign it, too.
[doors closing, cinematic music]
[door opening]
[thud]
What's this?
[dramatic music]
[paper rustling]
The neighbors signed a testimony
that read 'Leave this neighborhood.
We love our lives.' [paper rustling]
So heartlessly!
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music]
[door closing]
After all these years, goodbye,
house of my sweet memories.
[dramatic music]
Sometimes it's much better to be unknown.
You can live at ease.
You can walk the streets
with your wife hand in hand.
No one points their finger at you or
laughs at you or makes a fool of you,
Or is afraid of you or even
wants to take a selfie with you.
You can easily be like
one of millions of people.
Who pass by each other
without knowing one another.
One, two...
[water splashing, screaming]
Are you finished?
With that year of the cat, yes.
It's my 84th birthday.
And this year is the year of the cat, too.
Don't worry. I'm not afraid at all.
The point is not whether
you're afraid or not, son.
The point is that this is a warning.
[cat groaning]
Pisst!
Meow!
[laughs]
What are you doing?
That's the cat I talked about.
Where is it?
Are you blind? He's
over there. Look at him.
There's no cat there.
Ugh.
Forget it. Was that enough?
The memories of that year
are enough for the first volume.
I must go now. I'll be in touch with you.
All right.
[cinematic music]
[car speeding, car horn honking]
[crashing, shouting]
That was the sixth writer who died.
This book is doomed to remain unpublished.
Stay away from me in the years of the cat.
This is not a threat...
It's a chance.
This is a humanitarian message.
[cinematic music]
The Year of the Cat. Directed by Mostafa
Taghizadeh. Produced by Saeid Khani.