The Young Wife (2023) Movie Script

1
[bright, up-tempo music playing]
[insects trilling]
[birds chirping]
[bright synth melody playing]
[woman] Once upon a time,
there was a woman
who loved a man
who loved her back.
And so, together...
they decided
to have a wedding.
[bright melody continues]
[lively, overlapping chatter]
[man on television] Here we go.
Legs up. Lift knees.
Roll it out. Here we go.
And lift those legs.
Three, two, one, go.
[bell chimes]
[chatter stops]
Welcome to Meditation Minute.
Thank you for taking time
once again
out of your busy, hectic life
to meditate, calm down,
relax, and unwind with me.
We're gonna take
a couple of deep breaths.
Ready?
Inhale.
Exhale.
[bright, gentle melody playing]
Inhale.
[overlapping chatter resumes]
[Meditation Mary]
Keep breathing.
[woman]
Celestina, answer your phone!
[Meditation Mary] Inhale.
[music continues]
[Celestina] Once upon a time,
a woman was becoming a wife.
[bell chimes]
[funky, dramatic music playing]
[funky synth chord joins]
[dramatic music continues]
[funky synth chord joins
once more]
[music ends]
[bell chimes]
[birds chittering]
[thunder rumbling]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
[Celestina] You know my father
and my mother
never got married?
Said it was the secret
to their happiness.
He built this whole place
for her.
Mm.
Yeah.
Did I ever tell you that?
Mm. Maybe.
It doesn't matter.
I mean, obviously,
before the accident of me.
Back when it was
extramarital affairs
and club drugs.
Money, money, money.
Fun.
Then little ol' me came along.
And my mother,
who never settles,
decided that it was time
to settle down.
So my dad found the land.
He had his crew come out
and build it.
He said that it'd last
till the edge of forever.
[Cookie] Your mother got a man
to build her a manor.
Smart woman.
Maybe. [chuckles]
[Celestina]
I mean, my dad needed her
more than she needed him,
really. He...
He liked being useful,
and she likes having
someone to use.
And not in a bad way,
by any means, but...
You know,
maybe it was symbiotic.
It worked for them.
They were happy.
They were annoyingly
into each other.
Like, I was
the third wheel
my whole childhood, Cooks.
[Cookie] Mm. Here.
Take it.
Gift for your wedding.
Mm.
A breath of
the freshest of airs.
Yeah.
I don't need a wedding gift,
because it's a party.
Oh.
Plus, you already
got me a gift.
This was your gift
to me.
"No gifts." Ugh.
That's such craziness. That...
No, no, that ring--
I never liked it.
I don't know why
we keep using it.
It brings very little luck.
But that's what you do.
You pass on the jewels
and the bad habits
and the...
And the good ones, too.
[cell phone buzzing]
But my grandson asked me,
and you know I can't say no
to my River.
I...
I-I know you...
Uh-uh.
I know you hate it.
No, no, no,
don't lie to me.
I don't give a shit.
You-you know it.
So sell it.
Buy a trip to someplace
where it still snows
in December.
That-that rock
is not a gift.
This is much better.
[air hissing]
The flower is from
a farm near Levittown,
but the seeds are from Peru.
How did you get seeds from Peru?
You smuggling oxygen now?
[Cookie] Mm-hmm.
[Meditation Mary]
Now, we're gonna take
one more inhale.
[inhales deeply]
Make it big.
[bell chimes]
Fuck.
[lively, overlapping chatter
outside]
[sighs]
[footsteps approaching]
[Ayman] Hey. Hello!
Hello.
Hey, hey! Whoa.
Are we late?
No, you're right on time.
What is this?
It's a raccoon skin.
River's family
came six hours early.
Why is it so dark in here?
Well, I don't know
really. Yeah.
[Tessa] Sure we're not
concerned about the storm?
It's not supposed to hit till
middle of next week. It's fine.
[Geoffrey]
We can't let our lives
be curtailed by the whims
of precipitation.
Ooh, but the whole thing
with these storms
is they could hop
at any given time.
A lot of windows to board up.
[Celestina] No, it's fine.
You got a lot of windows
to board up.
Where did it hit last?
Are we next?
It laid waste to Daytona.
Laid waste?
[Sabrina] Remember spring break?
Yeah, the bikers.
Mm-hmm.
They're all gone now.
[Celestina] Why? What happened?
[Tessa] Story for another day.
A day that isn't
your wedding day.
Oh, it's not a wedding. I...
It was very explicit
on the invitation.
It's a party.
I just wanted to see
your beautiful faces.
[Sabrina] Okay. Damn.
Your "not wedding"
wedding day. Whatever.
[Geoffrey] How does that work?
Is there a marriage certificate?
Yep.
For taxes, health insurance.
If you would've planned this
like normal adults, I would've
been able to throw you
the bachelorette party
you actually deserve.
Do it for my 30th.
Are you serious?
Yeah. Are you?
Because I have crazy ideas.
Oh, did River have a stag do?
How'd he do it?
Oh, where is your beloved?
Where is your
prospective spouse?
I need the both of you.
[Celestina] He's, uh...
[Tessa] Oh, yes.
[Geoffrey] Not you. You s...
[Tessa] This is great. Yeah.
[Ayman] Ooh.
You know, it shocks me
that you of all people
are wedding yourself to a man,
but then I remember
that man is River, so...
It tracks.
Yeah, it tracks.
It tracks. Definitely.
I love this.
[sighs]
It's been a while.
Yeah, I know, right?
Uh, work's been kicking my ass.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Work's been kicking your ass.
[Celestina] Yeah, I, um...
That's why I came
to visit you for that thing.
Remember? And you...
No, I know, and I wanted
to make your thing. Yeah.
[chuckles] Okay.
It's just you're acting, like,
mad weird, right?
No, I'm not.
[laughing] I'm not being weird.
How am I being weird?
Am I being weird?
[Ayman]
You're being weird.
Celly, it has been a month since
you've answered a phone call,
text, anything.
I-I...
And I know you,
and you have no poker face.
I do have a poker face.
I've been working on it.
Oh, yeah? Let me see.
Mm-hmm.
This is my poker face.
Mm.
Oh.
Tessa said that
you wrote a musical.
I did write a musical, yeah.
That's very impressive.
It is cool.
Uh, we only perform it
on the weekends, but...
Oh, on weekends.
For now.
Weekends for now. I, um...
Celly, I miss you.
[sighs]
And your little weird ass.
[laughing] I miss you, too.
I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come see the show.
[Geoffrey] Celestina?
[Celestina] Yeah.
Where's River? I brought a cigar
for us, and I want to smoke it.
Wait, what is... I...
You didn't bring me one.
[Tessa] We're here,
let me help you.
There must be so much to do.
Yeah, there is, actually.
Should we make a list?
Let's make a list.
I would love to.
Isn't making a list calming?
Yeah, it is.
There she go
with her lists again.
Adults make lists.
Wives make lists
and put them
on the refrigerator.
Trust me, I would know.
I'm a wife.
[Geoffrey]
Yes, you are, darling.
[Ayman] Where are the snacks?
[Lara] Celestina!
[Ayman] How you just gonna
leave your company?
Uh, Celly?
Did she see my ring?
[Lara] Celestina, finally.
River was just looking for you.
River is here? Do you know if
he grabbed my bag from...
No, no, no.
On the phone. On the phone.
He's gonna be in town a little
longer because he's gonna
pick up his father's sister
from the airport.
His aunt.
His aunt.
And that he's gonna, uh...
Well, I don't know.
I figured you wouldn't care
if I just
kept him in town
a little longer, but...
Wait, what is this?
Is this a to-do list?
Fabulous! Okay. Hi, peanut.
[hushed]
Sorry. Got to be quiet.
She's always sleeping.
[chuckles] Baby.
But the camp friends, they are
meant to arrive by car, okay?
But because of the flood,
the bridge is a nonstarter.
So, um... Thank you.
Like, so do you mind?
Do you mind just...
Um, hey, yeah.
Yep, this is Celestina.
You're gonna double back
at the bridge,
take the route past the marsh,
but do not turn
down Bristol Ave.,
because it's still flooded.
Go left towards
the bird sanctuary.
Then you're gonna go back
to the mushroom farm.
No. Listen, if the trees
are blocking the road...
[Geoffrey]
If you don't have alcohol,
you should be executed.
Just drink if you want to drink.
Don't worry, we're here!
[excited, overlapping chatter
and laughter]
Everyone! Oh, I love the blue.
[overlapping chatter continues]
You're scaring me.
[overlapping chatter continues]
[bright, up-tempo music playing]
I've known Celestina
for over a decade now,
and River's always been
the best of the bunch,
all genders considered.
The whole, like, friend group,
we all kind of
glommed together
in high school, and...
semi-pathetically,
we have not let go since.
[Ayman] I'm Ayman.
I'm a urologist.
Here's my ca-zard.
Charmed.
Mimosas! Who said that?
[phone ringing]
Fern, what is that on your face?
Is that a tattoo? Fern!
[Geoffrey]
Marriage, vows, ceremony.
This is the most pious
show of faith...
[Celestina] River?
Tessa, are you pregnant?
No, I'm not. I-I...
Drink it.
Hello? Riv?
Since when do you want kids?
[Celestina] Riv, hello?
No, I'm not looking at him! No!
Tessa!
[laughs]
Cool.
[dryer whirring]
[dryer buzzes]
[Daisy] Full disclosure,
we do have a pool on
whether you're pregnant.
[Daisy laughs]
[Rose] I always told River,
I recommend
not waiting too long
to have kids.
It's much easier to hop back
in the office when you're young.
Daisy.
Wait, did you turn this on?
[Daisy] Oh, yeah. Sorry.
It just gets really nervous
and freaked out
when there's all these
people and feet around, so...
[laughing] I know.
You should know that.
[Rose] Ow!
[laughter]
We're gonna be like sisters!
I love it.
Sisters!
[yells, laughs]
[all]
Celly belly!
[laughter]
Sorry, the gnats are...
It's all in the hips. Watch.
Show me the hips.
[Sabrina] What are you wearing?
A jumpsuit.
It's black.
[Sabrina] No, see...
She let me go.
She let you go?
Stop moving.
Oh, is this for us?
[Celestina] No, it's for Cookie!
[excited chatter, whooping]
The only people who get to drink
before noon
are septuagenarians and up.
I'll give it
if you let me wear your dress.
This is terrible.
Get her away from me.
Okay.
[laughter]
I'll throw it!
[exclaiming]
[laughter, excited chatter]
And no, thank you.
[laughter]
[Ayman] Try again.
[Geoffrey]
I don't want to run with it.
[laughter]
I don't run.
I feel like
it's not funny anymore.
Clink, clink, clink, clink.
To the homeys in absentia.
[funky music playing]
[music ends]
[bird chittering]
To Eli.
[all] Elijah.
[thunder rumbles]
[phone ringing]
Ring a-ling a-ling
a-ling a-ding-dong.
[overlapping chatter]
You know what you should do?
Do what Rose did.
'Cause our last name is
way too long to hyphenate.
You take your maiden name,
give to the baby,
make the middle name,
and then you take
your married name,
and then you make that
the family last name, right?
I was gonna do that with
your father. Do you remember?
No, because you weren't
talking to me.
I don't even remember
why I didn't do it.
I'm not pregnant,
so it doesn't... it's fine.
[Daisy] Nevertheless,
you can't bet on it.
Sorry.
[Rose] What? Shut up, Daisy.
[Daisy]
Are you making fun of me?
[Rose]
Why wouldn't she be able to?
[Daisy] She would know
if she was pregnant,
so she'd know the answer.
I didn't know I... well...
We're gonna get
into miscarriages.
Know what we should do?
Play blackjack tonight.
[Celestina] Why wouldn't River
take my last name?
My last name is...
kind of the shit.
My parents didn't give me a name
so that
on some special occasion,
because your brother wants
to wife me, I could give it up.
Like, your brother doesn't have
a right to my name.
[Daisy] Yeah, but it's...
your last name is
your dad's last name,
so I don't see
what the difference is.
I mean, you're just
switching one man for another.
River told us about
the, uh, promotion!
Senior analyst. Pretty fancy.
I haven't... I haven't
accepted the position, so...
Such a great company.
Your parents must be so proud.
My dad's dead,
but my mom's into it.
What does that mean?
Are you, like, the boss now?
[chuckles]
[laughs] Ayman...
I-I mean, it's not...
it-it's not very interesting.
It's just, like...
it's not as glamorous...
[clears throat]
...as it probably...
you know, as it sounds.
It's just, like,
you know, slideshows
and spreadsheets and... [sighs]
just, like, a whole lot of...
all of that.
I mean, like, essentially,
I'm just... I have, like...
with the promotion, I have,
like, a small division
within, like, this global,
private, uh, equity fund.
We use other people's money
to buy companies, cut the fat,
make them profitable again,
and then we sell them off. Um...
[tense chord plays]
[newswoman on TV]
This just in. December 3, 2033.
Everywhere has flooded.
[newsman] That's right.
Every place you've ever loved
is flooded from the storm.
Your elementary school,
your place of work,
your mosque, your synagogue.
[newswoman]
All bridges are out.
You can try the tunnels,
but you'll be swimming.
Mudslides on every hill,
pits of despair on every marsh.
[newsman]
All the pipes have burst.
Water, water everywhere.
[newswoman] And now tap water
is contaminated with sewage.
Oh, no. Do not consume
the tap water.
Do not bathe in the tap water.
Do not make French press coffee
with the tap water.
[bell chimes]
[Meditation Mary on TV]
Welcome to Meditation Minute.
Thank you for taking time
once again
out of your busy, hectic life
to meditate, calm down,
relax, and unwind with me.
Now, we are going to start
by closing our eyes.
[gentle music playing]
Did you close your eyes?
Before we start, we're gonna
take a couple of deep breaths.
Ready?
Inhale.
Exhale.
Doesn't it feel good
to just breathe?
Inhale.
The only thing you have to fix
is your perception.
Exhale.
'Scuse me.
Inhale.
Sorry.
[dishes clattering]
Just gotta...
Exhale.
The problems of the world
are not your problems.
Keep breathing.
Everything is frequencies.
Everything is calibration.
Frequencies, frequencies,
frequencies.
Yes, yes, yes.
[exhales]
Inhale.
Yes.
Exhale.
This is Meditation Mary,
and I'm signing off.
[bell chimes]
Celestina.
Oh, Celly.
Huh?
Has my mother said
anything to you, or has...
Don't let her talk him into
any of this meshuggaas, okay?
[Rose] Have you heard
about the app that he's
trying to get her
to sign up for?
What'd he say?
It's called Exit Plan.
They help you plan
your... exit.
You know,
the legal aspects, like...
you know, the will,
the art storage.
[Lara] The boring stuff.
Yeah.
Grandpa's car, the house.
Oh, yeah.
That's so mortgaged, it's
going straight to the bank.
Uh, Rose.
[thunder rumbling]
["Mon Homme" by Claudia Hommel
playing, lyrics in French]
[Celestina]
Did I tell you that River
built me a little studio
in our backyard last fall?
He did it when
my friend Eli passed.
Uh... I was, like, freaked out
by the water, you know?
I didn't bathe
for like three weeks.
I was just doing a washcloth
in the sink.
[Cookie] Well, how did he die?
What? He...
The floods in the tunnel
in Philly last summer?
Mm.
I told you this.
[Cookie] No.
You remember.
I...
I do?
Mm-hmm.
[chuckles softly]
All right.
Yeah.
He, um...
I always imagined that
it happened in a big wave.
Like a dam broke or...
there was a crack
in the tunnel and...
it expanded quickly and...
you know.
All that.
But no.
When you drown in
a subway car in a tunnel...
you're just
standing there watching...
watching the water rise and...
knowing that there's nothing
you can do about it.
But, yeah, like I was
saying, I had a...
I had a thing about water,
and it was, um...
it was raining a lot,
and, uh...
River, uh, he went by and he
collected all these windows
'cause people,
when they demo their houses,
they just toss them
to the side of the road.
And he builds walls and a roof.
And he gets me to go outside,
and we lay in this window hut.
We fall asleep.
And I wake up
in the middle of the night,
and I take a shower.
I mean, it leaks sometimes,
but... doesn't matter.
We just throw a tarp up.
It's fine.
[Cookie] He...
He couldn't figure out
how to make it without leaking?
Okay, I didn't say
that he was perfect.
I said I love
that he always tries.
[laughs] Yeah, Cookie.
[laughing]
[glass clinks on table]
[grunts softly]
My fingers...
[phone rings]
...used to move
as smooth as yours.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
[girl] Can somebody get that?
That must be weird.
[phone continues ringing]
Hmm?
It must be weird for your body
to not move like it used to.
Yes.
This makes it a bit easier,
of course.
[phone rings, someone answers]
[Sabrina]
Hello? Lavelle residence.
Sabrina speaking.
[gasps] Maman!
I'm surprised
you are not here yet.
Wait until you have pains
for when you're lying down
that are different
from when you're standing up
that are different
from when you're sitting.
Doesn't matter if you sit in
a hard chair or a soft chair...
you just use it up, use it up.
Mm-hmm.
So easy for the child bride
to say.
Child bride?
Yeah.
[Sabrina] You raised an omitter.
Do you know what I mean by that?
It's just omission.
She should have told me.
Light that up.
Let me smoke that.
[Sabrina] I'm not mad,
I'm disappointed.
She quit soccer in third grade,
quit volleyball in tenth grade.
No, Angelique, no.
Celly, do not grab things
out of my hand like that,
please.
I'm on the phone with
your mom. [scoffs]
I don't get it.
Eli dies, you disappear from us,
and you said you're at work,
uh, you're gunning
for a promotion,
so we leave you alone,
and then I find out
from your mom
that you quit your job?
Celly!
I'll be right back,
Cooks.
[window closes]
[muffled]
I wanted that promotion
because I fucking deserved it.
There was always
more work to be done,
and I was always
the right one to do it.
And that's the trouble. Like,
that's what I've been saying.
[Fern] Mom said to come tell you
there's a leak upstairs.
Wh-What?
[Fern] There's a leak.
You guys haven't fixed that yet?
[Fern] I think it's leaking
from upstairs, but...
Okay. Fern,
look at your face.
Hey, ha-has Cookie seen that?
Oh, is that what
the babies do now?
No, bro, there's a leak upstairs
in the living room. It's...
Bro, if there's a leak,
get a bucket.
It's so simple.
That's good.
That's a good idea.
Go get the buckets.
There's a lot of buckets around.
[Sabrina] Look, Celly, no.
You know I adore your beloved.
I... I just want to get
a few things straight,
because when I met him,
he was a law student who really
wanted to be a muralist
which, we love that,
good for him,
but he dropped out of law school
to be a puppet maker.
Puppeteer.
Whatever, bitch. [laughs]
And then after that, he decided
he wanted to study
landscape architecture?
And now this man is
a lawyer-cupcake-maker
hybrid and...
What's going on?
How long's that gonna last?
I mean, however long
he needs it to last.
I don't understand
why you're acting like,
once we leave college, we're
doomed to just never change.
Like, is your life
really that dismal?
You of all people
should understand
a person's unwillingness
to fold themselves into...
into this-this machine.
[Sabrina] To the machine.
Don't use my shit against me.
And fuck you. This has
nothing to do with that.
I did bullshit temp gigs
so that I have
money and time
to afford to do my art.
Right.
That has nothing to do
with your nigga
and his arrested development.
Arrested development?
Yes. Yes!
I mean... [laughs]
I mean, what? Like...
Hello.
...we're supposed to just
work and work and work
until, like, we save up
enough money
to go on some mediocre vacation
where we spend the whole time
replying to emails?
Then we save up some more,
and then we do something else,
and then we spend,
and then we save,
and it's all so that
when we die
people know that we mattered?
That we were worth something?
Because, guess what, Sabrina,
no matter how much you make,
at the end of the day,
surprise, we all fucking die.
That's it.
Okay, Celly, no, no.
It can't be that way.
Yes. Yes.
We work to afford
a life, darling.
We work to afford
a lifestyle.
You have
a champagne lifestyle.
You have a champagne...
[TV volume increases]
This is so loud,
I can't hear you.
Hello. So, how are you supposed
to make it off beer money?
[music playing loudly on TV]
You act like I don't get it.
Like...
[man on TV]
All things are temporary.
I plan birthday parties...
Only energy is forever.
[Sabrina] ...every weekend,
and I hate it. I hate it.
I... Yeah, I know.
You know I hate it.
You know I hate it,
but I do it so I can exist.
[phone ringing in other room]
I don't know, Celly.
It's just...
it's just life.
[Ayman in other room]
Hello. Lavelle residence.
[chuckles] Oh, buddy.
If you're trying to get to
the house this time of day,
with the roads as they are,
you might be better off flying.
Flap those arms, my guy!
[chuckles] Oh. Good luck!
[Tessa] We've never been
to a wedding
where the phone just keeps
ringing incessantly.
Will you just unplug the phone,
please?
That's not life, though, is it?
Just labor.
[chuckles]
It is, and that's so silly.
I mean, there's got
to be a difference.
[scoffs]
And I know that, like,
when I say "labor," I mean...
I mean, I know that
I sit in my office
and I lay the laborers off,
but they could lay me off, too.
I'm just...
No, they...
Yes, they can.
I'm just doing it
before they lay me off. Like...
If six figures
and benefits and PTO,
all the shit that you were
getting at your job,
isn't enough for you...
the problem is not the gig.
It's you.
Do you know how many people
don't get a fraction
of a fraction of a fraction
of that much money?
No, you know. You know.
You're just acting like that
shit doesn't make a difference.
No, because it doesn't
make a difference.
Six figures isn't enough.
Oh, my God.
It's never enough,
because six figures...
Are you crazy?
No, it just makes you
focus on seven.
Do you hear yourself?
Yes, I do, 'cause that's
what's true for me.
It doesn't make...
It's-it's a vicious cycle.
Oh, my God.
It's so embarrassing
to hear you say this shit.
You sound like
somebody who's had
a pretty fucking
easy life, Cell.
You're right.
My life is fucking fantastic.
I mean, for the most part,
it's been great.
The upper middle class
just grating of this.
I can't even listen
to you anymore. I'm sorry.
And Angelique is gonna have
a field day with you.
[automated voice]
You have an incoming package
from Future Nostalgia
Trading Company.
Please meet your courier
at the end of the lane.
[camera clicks, whirs]
Um, I'm good.
I don't need a photo.
[gentle, mellow music playing]
"Mr. and Mrs. River Ravitz."
What the fuck?
[gasps] Aw!
I said no gifts.
It's like nobody's listening.
"Mr. and Mrs. River Ravitz."
Oh, so cute!
So you are changing your name.
No, I'm not changing my name.
Celestina, do not be mad,
but, um, we did manage
to get a hold of River,
and he said he didn't see
the harm in it.
Wait. You spoke to River?
I need flowers! Flowers!
Yes, we need flowers.
What the fuck?
Did he say when he'd be back?
Celestina...
[Rose] Just a taste
of what is available
at the farmers market.
Hey, please don't...
[Daisy] Yeah, there were like
12 vendors today,
tons of variety.
We got
all kinds of flowers you like,
not just, like, roses
or something boring.
It's not, like,
a thing against roses.
They were all closing early
because of the flooding.
They were just so desperate.
[overlapping chatter]
[tinny music playing]
But I'm sure they had
cancellations or something.
Even with the discounts, we
were totally helping them out.
No, no, please don't put
the flowers on the couch.
Like, so humanitarian,
so economical, right?
Fern, can you close that card?
[clears throat]
No, don't open it again.
[stomping, chanting]
Hey, when put that stuff
in the wash,
just don't run it,
because there's a leak.
Unless you're
gonna connect the pipe.
It's fine. I'm gonna do it.
Celestina!
I'm gonna do it. Thank you.
Down to the ground
to get out of the rain...
And I just don't get the point
of bringing
something alive inside
just for it to die.
[Rose] Flowers die, Celestina.
It's what they do.
There's an entire
flower market for that.
Do you not want us
to stimulate the market?
And in the meantime,
make the room look pretty.
Oh, my God.
They make everything brighter.
No, it's just that
I don't like the smell
and the pollen.
I, um...
Cheers.
I don't trust them, how they...
when they turn to the sun.
[Rose] That's just sunflowers.
[tinny music continues]
Fern, with the card,
please, it's...
[slam]
[takes deep breath]
[chatter stops]
[tinny music stops]
[gentle music playing]
[door creaks]
[Meditation Mary]
Keep breathing.
[music stops]
[clock ticking faintly]
[buzzer blares]
[overlapping chatter]
I told you.
I told you I would find
a photo of her.
[Geoffrey]
I just feel like...
with the world the way
it is these days,
especially these days,
traditions have become
so important.
[Tessa]
Traditions are important.
[Geoffrey]
Let's get married again.
[Ayman] Really?
[Tessa] I'd love that.
[Tessa] I would really love it.
[Ayman] Can I be the reverend
at the ceremony?
[Geoffrey] I don't know.
Are you ordained?
[Ayman] I am ordained.
I got ordained two months ago.
[Geoffrey] When? What?
You're doggone right I did.
I can baptize you.
[Tessa] You're ordained?
[Ayman] That would count.
[Sabrina] Woman to woman...
[Geoffrey] We have drinks
out here right now.
[Sabrina] Don't ever scare me
like that ever again.
[Geoffrey] When did you get
so against children?
When did this happen?
[Sabrina] Stop talking to me,
Geoffrey. You're done.
[Geoffrey]
You used to be so open.
[Sabrina] I'm still open.
I'm just not open to the idea
of her ruining her life
in this economy.
[Ayman] I agree.
We are going into a depression.
[Sabrina] I'm gonna go inside
and get a cold one,
and in that time,
please deeply consider if you
are going to have babies...
[Tessa laughing] Oh, come on.
...with a man who looks
like a rich snob.
[Geoffrey] I'm not wrong.
[Ayman laughing]
Hey, babe, it's, uh...
it's Celly, obviously.
Um, I'm just calling
to check in.
Give me a call back.
Uh, call the landline.
Um, I want to know
if you-you grabbed my dress.
Everyone's kind of clowning
my jumpsuit.
Uh, but yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
[footsteps approaching]
[sighs] God.
[hangs up phone]
[pills rattling]
You just don't let up, do you?
It's not killing myself.
I'm not doing this for you.
It's not as extreme as that.
We already talked about this.
We talked about it at Passover.
You children are so dramatic.
You said,
"Celestina, bubbeleh, please."
So caught up
in your own lives,
you can't imagine somebody
wanting to take theirs.
"I'm tired of this home,
sick of life. Help me."
Means yours isn't worth it.
And I said... "This is crazy."
You are not going to go to jail.
"This is wild. What the fuck?"
Do not be obtuse. They will
absolutely send me to jail.
I'm leaving you everything
I've got that's worth leaving.
Moreover,
I don't know if you noticed...
Why would they
put you in jail?
...but I'm going through
my own thing.
I don't know what to do
with my life,
and you want me to take yours?
You'll figure it out.
You always do.
The nice thing about
this combination
is the dreams I'll have
when I go.
You don't dream
when you're dead.
Good. I've had enough dreams
for one lifetime.
Three lifetimes.
Cookie, why--
Just one more dream,
and then quiet.
That's all I want.
Cookie, why?
Why do we have to...
[lively chatter outside]
[sighs] Oh, fuck.
[Ayman] This is cool!
Ayman!
What?!
Wh-What are you doing?
Geoff, stop it.
We... No fire!
I told you no! I said no fire!
[Ayman] Look at these colors!
[Ayman]
You should come out and play!
[Geoffrey] You will know
when things are burning.
It's hard for them,
you understand, to imagine
waking up to a world
where I don't exist for them.
That I'm not something
they get to worry about.
I get to soak up
all their fears about dying
by sticking around.
As long as I'm here and old,
they get to be here and young.
And that's a role I've played
for long enough,
thank you very much.
They've known me
their whole lives.
I've always been here.
Cooks, please.
You have only known me
a few years,
and yet you love me
all the same.
Everyone thinks
I don't know what I want.
Right?
You're the only one
who believes me.
You're strong enough to...
Oh, come on. No, no.
...to let someone make
a choice like this
and respect it.
No, no, no, no.
I do respect it.
I know.
I... Yes.
I know that you know.
Eyes on you.
Eyes on you.
Eyes on you.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
[doorbell rings]
Wait, I'm sorry. Who are you?
[girl] We're the music.
I didn't order any music.
[Daisy] Is that the music?
[gasps] Oh, my God,
the players are here!
Come in, come in.
Set up anywhere.
You can move all this stuff.
I want something soft
while people are, you know,
coming in, getting in
the mood for festivities.
River said that sounded nice.
Okay, follow me. Go to the left.
[Lara] Celestina.
Has anybody seen Celestina?
[Celestina]
Ah, we said no gifts!
You guys don't listen.
So crazy.
Ah, balloons!
You know, I-I hate balloons.
The sound when they pop,
it's like gunshots.
[Celestina] To the office,
to those in charge,
to the capitalist pigs,
you puppets dressed
like people, my colleagues,
my bosses, overlords, whatever:
[voice overlapping]
I quit. I quit.
I hate it here.
I've hated it for years.
And I think hate's
a strong word,
but that's how I feel.
None of you use...
And I know because
it's sitting in the box.
Fuck the fucking
wellness weekend.
Fuck the accountability
whiteboards.
Do you realize our clients
are terrible...
Fuck you for making me
work for them.
I am so fucking sick...
Fuck you for making me
calculate
exactly how much you think
my time is worth.
There's a storm coming...
No, I don't want to take a
mental health leave of absence
because this job is the thing
that's making me sick.
Fuck working from home!
I don't wanna work from home!
It's home!
I can't do this anymore! No!
This is my letter
of resignation. Fuck it.
Thank you, Celestina.
Absolutely not.
[both grunting]
Stop.
I don't know
any of those people.
Yeah, 'cause they're friends
and family that were invited.
What are you doing here?
River invited me.
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
River and I have a bond
that was forged
in the wilderness
of summer camp.
Of course he wanted me here.
No, he fucking didn't.
Why would you lie
about something like that?
[laughing]
That is not an invite.
That's basically an invite.
It's not.
Yeah, that is.
Plus, I drove five hours, okay?
Least you could do is
let me stay.
Five hours?
I didn't know about
the detour at the bridge.
You took a U-turn...
I had to go to the tunnel,
and I had to double back
at the wetlands, yep.
You should've taken all of that
as a sign that
nobody wanted you here.
You know,
I called you seven times.
Yeah, and I didn't
answer seven times.
It is so good to see you.
Take a hint.
Thank you for having me.
I'm not having you.
[Lara] What? No! David Rosen!
Lara.
Lara! Oh, my God, look at you!
Oh, my God!
I'm going to lose my mind!
Oh, my God.
Did you get younger?
What? Stop it!
I'm starting to feel old.
You look so handsome man-some!
[Dave laughing]
[Dave] Daisy, Daisy, Daisy!
[Daisy] Oh! Little Davey!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my...
I remember your bris.
Smallest penis I've ever seen.
[laughing]
Rose is gonna freak.
It's gotten bigger.
It's gotten bigger, Daisy.
[Daisy] Rose!
[Rose] What? What?
[Daisy] Rose, come here!
[Rose] What?
What are you,
a movie star now?
[Dave] I don't know.
[Daisy] Dave's here.
[Dave] I grew it out. Yeah.
[Rose] Dave who?
[Daisy] Dave Rosen from camp.
Will you come here?
It just happened last week.
Rose!
Hey! Hi!
[both] Mwah! Mwah!
[Rose] And your face!
[Lara] Marge, get over here.
Marge, please.
This is David Rosen!
[gasps]
And Daisy... no, wait.
Was it Rose?
Wait, which one of you
babysat him?
[Daisy] Rose, you'd babysit
because I hate kids.
I didn't like you.
Ah, you were so annoying!
[Rose] Oh, yeah,
you were a little terror!
[overlapping chatter]
Yeah, well, you know
what they say: "Early to bed,
early to rise."
[Lara] Oh, they do say that.
[Dave] They always do.
[Lara] They say that!
Celestina!
Yeah?
Leave that. Come on.
Get over here. Get over here.
So, Celestina works
with him, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do.
Can you...
Are you just chomping
at her heels now that she's...
I... Yeah, oh, my God.
Excuse me, she's senior analyst.
[all exclaiming, cheering]
Yeah. Yeah.
Isn't that... It's ama...
We're so proud.
We are so proud of her.
But, you know,
at the end of the day, we're...
we're both just trying to keep
the economy healthy.
It's... you know?
It's really important.
[Rose] Wow.
[Daisy] It's really important.
Hey, guys!
Don't fret. Don't fret.
The Wi-Fi has been
officially fixed.
Oh, thank God.
What?
Yeah, go... go check it out.
Yeah, you can use your phones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Daisy] Bye, Davey.
[Ayman] Fixed the Wi-Fi.
[Lara] Wait, what is
my password? Daisy!
[Daisy] Yes?
All right.
[Lara]
What is my password again?
Who changed it?
[Daisy] 1-2-3-4-5, capital 1.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
[Dave] Huh.
It's interesting.
Get that fucking smug look
off your face.
It's interesting, isn't it?
You make me sick.
Isn't it?
What?
Have you not told River
that you quit yet?
Of course I told...
Why would I not...
Why would I not tell River
that I quit?
You're lying. [gasps, laughs]
No, I'm not.
Shut the... Lower your voice.
Stop. Shh!
[laughing] You're lying!
Seriously, lower your voice.
I can't believe it.
Celestina, you quit your job
the day before your wedding,
when your beloved eschewed
a law career to make cupcakes.
Does the bakery
pay him a salary,
or is it like a, uh...
is it like an internship?
It's an apprenticeship,
you dick.
Oh, got you. Got you. Sorry.
Okay?
I forget the distinction.
Part of a union.
We don't have a union.
No, of course not. Uh, duh!
'Cause we make fucking bank.
[chuckles]
[sighs] Celestina, listen.
I am sympathetic
to your outburst, right?
Sometimes, when we let our
emotions bottle up, they can...
you know, they can bubble over
in unexpected ways, right?
Right, right.
Think about it.
Your body, right, your choice.
Thank you.
If you're gone,
why let it go to waste?
Give me your project files,
give me your notes,
give me a leg up,
and I promise not to taint
your special day
by accidentally telling River...
Taint my special day?
Yeah.
And by the way,
I'm so happy to be here,
and I'm so excited for you.
Thank you for inviting me.
Thank you so much.
Do you know
what your problem is?
What's that?
Your problem is you think
you're two steps
ahead of everybody...
Uh-huh.
...and you're not even
playing the same game.
I don't even know
what you mean by that.
[Angelique] Celestina.
[Dave] Get your hands off of me!
[Dave muttering]
[door slams]
Maman.
[sighs]
Maman est arrive.
[cheering, excited chatter]
You're here!
It took you long enough.
Thank God.
Finally.
I missed you all.
Oh, my goodness.
We love you.
You smell so good.
[smacking lips]
Thank you.
Mwah.
All right. All right.
Let her breathe.
Let her breathe. God.
All right.
Okay, now.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
You want a cigarette?
Wait, no, I got it. I got it.
I got it.
There we go. There we go.
Wow.
Okay, it's fair? Yep.
[all murmuring]
What happened to the vape
that I got you?
You know, they're saying
smoking's really bad for you.
Maman, come on.
Mm-hmm.
[chuckles]
[birds chirping]
Are you high?
[Celestina]
Probably not anymore. Why?
You ashamed of that, too?
Ashamed?
No.
I do not care.
You are a fully grown woman.
Spit on my grave.
Snort your nose off.
S-Spit on your grave?
What is wrong with you?
Relax. I'm just joking.
Uh, well, then laugh.
Hi. You look beautiful.
[laughs] What? That's not...
Say hello to your uncles.
[Celestina] Hi. Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hey, if I'm not back
in ten minutes, just send help.
[uncles chuckling]
Please. Please.
Like the hat, Stan.
What is wrong with my azaleas?
Why are they coming out so soon?
It's not even Christmas.
What's going on?
Go back in!
You're not ready yet!
Mom, it's the heat.
The seasons are all
out of whack.
It'll be fine. They'll be fine.
They'll sleep during the frost
from the storm,
and after that, they'll be back.
It's-it's fine.
That's not how flowers work,
Celestina.
Well, maybe now it is.
Thank you.
So this is it?
Thank you for shopping with
Future Nostalgia
Trading Company.
All the hard work?
Everything you have given
to this life,
you are just ready to...
wash your hands of it.
You are just willing
to kill it dead and bury it?
To become what? Basic?
Pas possible! Pas possible!
Ma seule fille...
[in English]
...ends up a housewife.
I'm not a housewife.
I don't want to be.
And even if I did,
that's not the point.
There is a certain poetry
that comes with
what a person can be,
based upon their circumstances,
and you are disrupting
that poetry.
Do you want to see
what's happening to me?
[boxes thud on ground]
This is from... I thought
it was, you know, like,
from the recycled
laundry detergent or-or the...
the lotion or the perfume
that River made, but this is...
[Angelique]
Hold on. The perfume? [scoffs]
How many hobbies
can one man have?
It doesn't matter.
This is from work.
This is what work
is doing to me.
This is from shrinking deficits
and increasing margins
and diversifying outreach
and ruined lives.
Because that is what I do.
I-I ruin some people's lives
in an attempt to make
another group
of people's lives
marginally better.
And my body is
betraying me for it.
It's eczema.
[Celestina] It's not eczema.
I ruin lives for a living,
and it's giving me stress hives
because I am betraying my body.
It is eczema.
Put some Vaseline...
It is not eczema!
It is stress hives!
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
[gentle music playing]
For you to be the best
that you can be,
you have to believe that
you are the best that you are.
You have to believe
that you are.
Yes, I-I'll admit...
he's charming, he's got moxie,
he's smart enough.
He's not as smart as you, but...
but he's smart enough, and...
all of that is good for now.
But what about for later?
For the hard times.
For the... for the future.
Hmm?
Celestina, I know you
and I love you,
so I just have to ask:
Is it worth it?
Is it worth giving up
your career for a man
who will eventually bore you?
Maman, I am not
giving up my career.
Why do you keep saying this?
God, I'm not giving up
anything for River.
I never said that. It's like
I've explained this to you
a million different ways,
and you are refusing
to understand me.
It is not worth it.
It is never worth it.
Worth what?
It's never worth it!
Worth what?
If there's no career, there's
nothing for it to be worth!
Your boss will take you back
right now.
You bring too much to it.
Mom, calm down.
Honey.
Maman!
If you do not get out
of this right now...
If you do not get out
of this right now...
Are you really coming here
to tell me to get out of it?
...it will be very difficult
to get out when you're married.
[Lara] Oh, Angelique! Oh!
Oh, my God.
Ah. Lara.
[sighs]
Oh.
Somebody let
the sunshine in here.
Yes. Look at you.
Oh!
Look at you.
Well, you look lovely today.
[phone ringing in other room]
I know you're thrilled.
Oh. I mean,
it's Celestina.
You know how much we love
Celestina. We're all...
Well, how could you not?
It's Celestina.
[Angelique chuckles]
[Lara] I mean...
River is just...
he's just so lucky.
[Angelique] Oh, yes he is.
I'm gonna cry. [sniffles]
Oh...
[sighs]
So, how's the university?
Hmm?
Oh, it's a nightmare.
[Lara] Yeah?
[Angelique] But, um...
it's a blessing, too, you know?
[Lara] Yeah?
Well, it's just...
well, it would make you crazy.
Well, I don't know
how you handle it.
I don't. I just don't.
[chuckling]
So, how's things with you and...
[Celestina clears throat]
Central Library.
...the library?
Oh, the library.
I can't complain.
Mm.
I can't complain.
Yeah.
I really can't.
But, you know what, I do.
[laughs] I do. I have.
I will right now,
because you know how it is
with government funding.
Yes.
You've been there, so...
I, uh... Oh, my God.
Are the Pine Barrens on fire?
[newsman] Breaking news.
Major wildfire...
Oh, my.
Thank God we're expecting rain.
Yes, I was just about
to say the same thing.
It just can't rain
fast enough, can it?
Would you look at that?
I can't believe it.
Now, that's hot.
[phone ringing]
Now, that's a fire.
[newsman] Wasn't it
supposed to snow today?
[Lara] Do you ever just think
about the animals, you know?
Hello? Celestina speaking.
[River] Fucking finally.
Mimosas for the moms.
All these people in my ear,
passing me around,
and all I'm trying to do
is get somebody to put me in
your ear so I can let you know
that I know
your mom just got there,
I know my mom's being a pain,
and I know
my sisters are obnoxious,
but you want to know
something else, Celly?
It's chill.
[laughs]
It's chill.
I love you, and it's chill.
What's taking so long?
The roads.
[chuckles] I know.
The roads. The roads.
Everybody out here
is trying to slow me down.
[laughs] Okay, well,
I need you to get back.
I am wilting
under the limelight, kid.
Hey, why'd you tell
your sisters to bring flowers
when you know
that they freak me out?
[River]
I know. I know. Photosynthesis.
Yeah, it's not natural.
It is natural, you know.
I know that photosynthesis
is a natural occurrence.
And I'm gonna be
totally real with you.
I thought they meant they were
bringing weed, you know.
[laughs] They did not mean weed.
Hey, have you heard
of Exit Plan?
[thunder crashes]
[River] Wait, wait, hold on.
Hello?
This reception's so shit.
[thunder rumbling]
Riv?
River? Hello?
[Rose] Celestina,
I need to talk to you.
River says that
you aren't doing any vows?
I don't get it. I mean,
what's the point in a wedding
unless you're gonna do vows
and make promises?
If you weren't gonna do vows,
you should just throw a party,
not have a wedding.
[laughing]
You know what I'm saying.
Oh, of course you understand.
Please tell me he's kidding.
He's absolutely kidding.
You're doing vows.
If you want to run
anything by me...
Also, oh, do not be offended
if his are a little less
expressive than yours.
I mean, we all know
River likes to take a millennia
to get a full idea out.
My brother likes
to take his time.
Don't let it slow you down.
I do not let it slow me down.
You know he was four and a half
when he said his first word?
I mean, Cookie said
it was the trauma
of being surrounded
by a bunch of talkers,
but I think
he's got a lot going on
in that big heart
of his, you know?
He's a man of few words
and many long pauses.
He marches to his own
syncopation, as they say.
But, I mean, what are we
supposed to do, wait?
[Ayman] You know, I think
you're doing the right thing.
[Celestina] Stop. Do you?
[Ayman] Of course.
I think it's time for you
to go back to where you belong.
One, two, three. Grad school.
Homeland.
What?
[laughing]
That's not...
The homeland?
Yeah.
What's the homeland?
I thought we were going
to, like, West Africa.
What are you... Whoa!
Where did you come from?
I heard grad school.
I'm never getting married.
Why would you make
such a permanent statement?
You can't just stop working.
How are you gonna pay off
your student loans?
Student loans?
I'm not paying those off.
I've been paying consistently
for five years, on time,
and it's still
a fucking mountain.
I told you guys this.
Did you get my email?
That if we all stop paying,
it's a bubble,
and the bubble will pop.
Yep, yep, yep.
Bubble pops. We know.
I got the email.
I stopped my auto-pay.
Good husband?
No, I'm a great husband.
Why am I a great husband?
Fern, can you get these scraps?
Where do I throw them away?
This is compost.
There's a compost bin.
Goes out the window.
No, there's a compost bin.
[Geoffrey] You understand?
[Fern] I know about composting.
[Geoffrey] This
is what composting is.
[sighs] What a special
day for us, huh?
[Geoffrey] I know this stuff.
[Ayman] Kids.
[Tessa] You could teach.
You could teach children.
I could.
Yeah.
You could be
an art tutor.
Ooh.
Maybe.
Right now, I'm just... you
got to be reasonable, you guys.
Okay? I can work
at a sandwich shop.
They're hiring, so...
[Ayman] Sandwich shop.
Okay, you can't come
to people's houses uninvited
and do nothing but dance.
But I was invited,
and it's for entertainment.
Working in a sandwich shop
would only make sense
if you love making sandwiches.
I...
Do you love sandwiches?
Yes, I love sandwiches.
It's... it doesn't matter,
because it's just a job.
And you know what I do enjoy?
I enjoy the idea
of someone coming in,
I make them a sandwich,
they go home happy and-and full.
And I go home full and happy.
And I just leave it all there.
I don't have to have a career
or a passion.
Why can't I just have a life?
What's wrong
with just having a job?
You guys, it's just a job.
Being a wife always felt
a bit like a job, you know?
Everybody keeps saying things
like that to me.
And it's like, "Well, maybe you
shouldn't have gotten married."
God, did I fuck up,
Cooks?
Should I take it back?
The husband or the job?
[sighs]
[Lara]
Has anybody seen Celestina?
Where's Celestina?
Celestina!
[thunder rumbling]
[thunder crashes]
[Cookie] At least you know...
how to hold
your liquor.
All will be well.
[door opens]
[Lara] A-ha.
Mother, no more vodka.
[Cookie] It's potatoes.
I told you, it's fine.
It's lunch.
Just wa... Just water. Come on.
[news theme playing]
[newswoman]
Here we are again with weather
on the fours and fives.
It's 4:45, and the sun is
shining, except when it's not.
Remember, whatever the weather,
always have your go bag ready.
[Angelique]
You know I like Lara.
[Celestina scoffs]
I like her mother,
I like her daughters, and...
I-I don't like Rose that much,
but Lily and Fichus...
[chuckles]
It's Daisy and Fern.
And Rose is...
She means no harm.
She's fucking annoying,
but she means well.
I mean, all of them
mean well, really.
[Angelique] You're slipping.
I'm fine.
[knife clatters]
[groans] Oh, merde, merde.
You shouldn't be cutting that
with this ring on.
Please, please just, could...
Can you get the pan?
But I'm... Okay.
Get the pan!
You shouldn't be doing it...
It's fine. I can...
Okay, fine.
I'm a big girl. Thank you.
Shh. Okay.
Are you bleeding?
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
[Lara sighs]
It's okay. It's okay.
I should probably...
We're gonna get it good.
Here we go.
Do you mind if
I take that off? Okay.
When I, uh, was marrying
the girls' father,
I was so nervous.
I was a wreck. I was a wreck.
Because Rose and Daisy
were being so bitchy to me.
They were still treating me
like the evil stepmother.
You know, before we became
such good buddies.
And that's... part of why
I fell for their father
is because he was a father
and I wanted to be a mother.
I mean, I didn't have to be
their only mother.
I just wanted
to be another mother.
I wanted to be a second mom.
I'm mom number two.
Just wanted to be a mom.
Always wanted to be a mama.
So I don't think that's...
I think being nervous is okay.
I think it's like...
like we just...
kind of know that
it's because...
we're choosing to do something
very big for ourself.
Marriage is big.
Marriage is so big.
Yeah, it is.
[bell chimes]
[playing "Ants Go Marching"]
You know, I-I-I...
and, of course,
a lot of my colleagues
are bankers,
but I'm not an analyst, per se.
That's actually the brilliance
of our little team
within the firm,
is that I'm more of, like,
a knowledge broker.
I get, like, information
to the right people
for the right price,
which is a lot, 'cause, like,
all right, you know,
our rates are quite high.
And Celestina, for sure,
she's the most in demand.
Like, of course it looks good
to have a woman lead
some of these things, right?
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
Like, way better optics.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Yeah, uh, that's why
we charge more
for her to lead a project.
Uh, I mean,
I'm pretty expensive, too.
[sighs heavily]
Um, but, uh, yeah.
So, River tells me
you're a dancer.
Like, ballet or,
like, a, uh, dancer?
I don't know...
Okay, I need to know
how you're here.
[chuckles] Um...
Oh, yeah.
You and River went to school
together? What... what's up?
[Dave] Oh, camp, actually.
[Sabrina] Oh, camp.
[Dave] Yeah, yeah.
Classy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Dave] I was in the top bunk.
[Sabrina] Mm-hmm. Love that.
Yeah. I was actually voted
president of the camp,
which wasn't even a thing--
Thank you.
Get him out of here. Bye.
Ow, ow! What the fuck?
Kill him. Finish him.
[Dave] Ow!
[Ayman singing]
[Sabrina] Hello!
Huh?
Why didn't you help me?
With what?
When we said
"protect Black women,"
this is what we meant.
[Tessa] What'd River say
when you quit?
Is he stressed?
Will he stay at the bakery?
Mm...
[chuckling] Well, um...
Celestina.
[gasps softly]
What? It all happened so fast.
I don't...
Oh, you're joking.
Say "psych."
No, I was...
I-I was gonna tell him.
Obviously, I'm gonna tell him.
I just...
Uh, inevitably,
there would have been a fight
if I told him.
I don't want him to look back
on today and think of a fight.
That's a bold move.
That's so rude, Celly.
[Ayman]
Great, uh, first wife day.
You are number one wife.
You are wiz-ife number one-za.
You don't understand.
You're not a wife.
What is that supposed to mean?
[Celestina] It means
that you're not a wife.
We live in a world
of wives and husbands.
Not... Like, regardless
of gender or sexuality,
this is, like...
it-it is what it is.
It's a construct.
We... I'm a wife.
River was raised by wives.
He makes wives out of us.
We get caught up
in his potential.
And if I ended up with Sabrina,
if that would have worked out,
she'd be my wife.
That's the nature of things.
This is not about
husbands and wives, okay?
You're over-contextualizing
the reality here.
This is about
tops and bottoms, okay?
Tops and bottoms.
Spiritually speaking, he means.
Spiritually.
Okay, spiritually speaking,
but societally speaking,
this is the world
that we live in,
this is the world
that we've built,
this is the world
that we feed into,
and I didn't tell River
last night,
because I don't want him
to worry,
because I wanted to be
a good wife.
The wife is the one who worries.
You do look stressed.
You should really separate
your shoulders from your neck.
[Tessa] Oh, yeah,
that totally works.
He taught me how to do it.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
[thunder rumbling]
[birds chirping]
[chimes tinkling]
[Sabrina] Celly, do you want
to know what your problem is?
Not really.
Well, you think
that you exist in a vacuum.
You move through the world
like it's just
you, you, you all the time.
It's not like that.
We're not 23 anymore.
And you snap your fingers
and you say,
"We're having a wedding.
It's not a wedding,
though I am getting married."
We drop everything--
everything--
and we come because we love you.
We are deeply affected by you.
Others, being affected
by them, affecting others.
That's what this is about.
That's why you matter.
Being makes you matter.
You get that, right, Celly?
[thunder crashes]
[Lara] You're doing this
when your grandson's wedding
is in two hours.
Honestly, Mom, doesn't this
just feel a little selfish?
We just want to talk to you.
[Cookie]
I don't need to talk about it.
[Lara] Oh, will you...
[Daisy] It just feels like
we're hearing about it
from everybody else
and you're not coming to us
and talking about something
very big that affects us.
[Lara] I mean,
don't you even want to hear
what we have to say about it?
Don't you even remember
when we brought River home
and you met us at the airport
and you said, "What a berakah"?
You said, "It's new life.
It's new family.
It's a blessing."
I mean, I don't even know
who I am without you.
That's a problem.
Well, I just...
I'm saying that I'm
so out of balance without you.
How am I supposed to...
What am I supposed
to do without you?
I need a mom. Does that matter?
Does it matter
that I need a mother?
I-I need a mother.
Okay? You happy? Please.
[Daisy] I just... I just...
I don't understand.
I don't understand
why you want to do this.
I thought you meant, like,
if-if you were hooked up
to a tube or, like,
if there was nuclear war.
Like, I thought you meant...
What... what would Zay think
if he knew right now
that you were just giving up?
He would be so disappointed.
Giving up?
[Daisy] Come on, Rose,
we don't need to...
No, it's absolutely true.
Because Dad would have
something to say about this.
[Cookie] Giving up?
Tell me, what-what...
what am I giving up?
How much more do you want me
to live through
for me to have lived
enough life for you?
Hmm?
[laughter, lively chatter
in distance]
[Sabrina] River!
[Ayman] Oh!
What's up? He made it!
[Rose] River!
[Lara] Oh, good, he's here.
River!
[Lara] Sweetheart!
[Daisy] Oh, my God, River!
[all clamoring]
[Lara] Honey!
He's here. He's here. He's here.
[clamoring continues]
It's River! He made it!
We've been waiting
for you all day!
We've been waiting all day!
Where are you going?
[Ayman]
Where are you going? Hey!
[Celestina] We're gonna
go talk. We're gonna go.
[clamoring continues]
[Fern] I'm making a video
for your wedding!
[clamoring stops]
River.
'Sup?
I'm down o'clock
I'm down o'clock
I'm down o'clock
I'm down
I'm down o'clock
I'm down, down o'clock
I'm down o'clock
[Daisy] River!
I'm down...
[pounding at door]
[clamoring]
[Rose] River!
[pounding and clamoring
continue]
[Geoffrey]
I left my bag in there!
You quit the firm?
Did you get my messages? What?
The promotion...
What happened? Talk to me.
Whoa. Who told you that?
My mom, Sabrina, my friends,
Ayman, your mom, my sisters.
Ayman?
Pretty much goddamn everybody.
Everybody.
Cookie. Of course, Dave.
Dave? Ooh, what the fuck?
[pounding, clamoring continue]
Why would Dave tell you that?
No! We're good!
Give us a minute, please?
[all groan, clamoring quiets]
Just an aside, by the way,
I feel like
adults at a certain age
should stop
introducing their friends
from summer camp
as their friends
from summer camp.
I mean, it's like, just say
that it's your childhood friend.
Like, if you're 30
and you're saying,
"This is my friend
from summer camp,"
like, what, like, last summer?
That doesn't even
fucking matter.
It does matter to me.
Okay.
[chuckles] River.
You told me you were
gonna take a week off
before the new position.
I am taking time off...
We did picklebacks
to celebrate last night.
I like picklebacks.
Okay, so we did all of that,
and the whole time,
you had already quit?
Yes. And?
What the fuck, Celly?
What?
Why didn't you tell me?
Since when don't you
tell me these things?
Like, why don't you
trust me with this?
Why would you lie?
You could've told me.
I'm not angry.
It's not about that,
being not angry.
I just wish you would fucking
tell me these things.
I can help.
I don't want help, River.
Please. I didn't tell you
because I figured,
what is the point
in telling you without a plan?
Like, if I don't have
an end point in sight,
then you're just gonna upset
the fucking waves,
as you do, and cloud my vision
with your propensity
to daydream
more than you do commit
to an actual plan of action.
[pounding, clamoring resume]
I don't want to
fucking dream right now.
I want to figure it out
for myself.
River! River!
[clamoring continues]
Can I figure things out
by myself?
Can I just get a minute?
[door opens]
[door closes]
Cool.
[clamoring continues
in distance]
Just wanted a moment.
Just wanted a fucking second.
Cool! I am fine.
[Lara] Celestina!
No.
Hmm?
Okay, look, new development.
We need River to swing by
the train station.
I'm just gonna keep him out
a little bit longer.
They got cousins right now
whose car has water damage.
I'm not making this up.
They're just hydroplaning
all over the place. It's a...
[Rose] Come on!
I'm telling her!
It's a big mess, so...
but here's the good news.
He's gonna swing by the bakery
on the way home,
because the cake is
still sitting there,
so he can pick that up,
and he's gonna be
right back here, if you...
Unless you want him
to do anything else,
but you should
tell me right now,
because I can't read minds.
[bell chimes]
Welcome to Meditation Minute.
Thank you for taking time
once again
out of your busy, hectic life
to meditate, calm down,
relax, and unwind with me.
We're gonna take
a couple of deep breaths.
Ready?
Inhale.
Exhale.
[gentle music playing]
Take this moment
to really center yourself.
Inhale.
Let yourself feel the ground
beneath your feet.
Exhale.
Ask yourself what you need
to feel full.
Keep breathing.
You can do this.
I know you can do this.
Inhale.
I want you to repeat after me.
There is no "I."
[Celestina repeats]
There is only "we."
[Celestina repeats]
There are no imperfections
here.
Everyone is perfect as is.
[Celestina repeats]
Everyone is trying their best.
[Celestina repeats]
You deserve the absolute best
that there is.
[Celestina repeats, whispering]
You deserve to feel alive
every moment you're alive.
[Celestina, whispering]
You deserve to be living.
[Meditation Mary]
You deserve to be living.
[Celestina, whispering]
Are you living?
[Meditation Mary]
Are you... living?
[Celestina, whispering]
Are you living?
What is living?
Am I living?
[dryer buzzes]
[Dave humming
"Ants Go Marching"]
[Dave's humming grows closer]
[Dave] Hey!
The young wife
doing the laundry.
What's the matter?
River wouldn't let you
take the day off? [laughs]
Oh, actually, would you mind?
Spilled a bit of my drink
on my shirt
being too much of a ham.
You know how it goes.
Got to keep the people
coming back for more.
[chuckles] And they do.
Seriously.
Thank you so much, Celly.
It's wash cold and air-dry.
Good to see you. Proud of you.
[Dave resumes humming]
[Dave in distance] Rose!
[Rose] Dave!
[chatter nearby]
[birds chirping]
[insects trilling]
[thunder rumbling]
[gentle, up-tempo music playing]
[chimes tinkling]
[gentle, up-tempo music playing]
What did the laundry
ever do to you?
[thunder crashes]
[bell chimes]
[thunder rumbles]
[Meditation Mary]
Do you feel that?
That difference?
[dramatic music playing]
Are you standing straighter?
What does the world look like
from this perspective?
[thunder rumbling]
[birds chirping]
Come on. Come on.
Others are affected by me.
But it's my life.
It absolutely is your life.
It is my life.
It's your life,
but you know what, girl?
What a privilege it is that
others are affected by you.
[River humming in distance]
[humming]
[humming stops]
[River chuckling]
[Sabrina]
Where are you coming from even?
There is nothing back there.
Y'all don't worry about it.
You are such a little weirdo.
[chuckling]
Hi.
Hi.
You ready?
So, I'm standing there
yesterday,
and I'm going on and on
about the Austrians,
and I had this realization,
like...
[River] Yeah.
If I can't justify
what I'm doing right now
to my hypothetical kid...
how can I
justify it to myself?
You know, it's not like
I don't have a choice.
I chose to be here.
I just feel so fucking guilty.
Huh.
River, how can I be
so dissatisfied
when I have so much?
It's not fair.
It's not fair to the people
that sacrificed everything
for me to be here.
My friends, my family, you.
This uncertainty...
it's not fair
to the people that
have less than I do.
I sound like an asshole
that I get to, you know,
say "fuck you" to reality
and search the abyss for a bit,
and look for what?
In search of something.
Something else, something...
I don't even know.
Not something grander.
Hmm.
Or more important or necessary.
It's just something else.
Like, something of what?
[River] Mm-hmm.
A reason to-to be alive?
[sighs] You know, like...
How do we make it make sense?
That's not
a rhetorical question.
[laughing]
Like, you can answer it.
You just unpacked a lot,
but I-I hear you.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I got a question.
[Celestina] Okay.
Are you pregnant?
[Celestina] What? No, River.
I'm not pregnant.
[both chuckle]
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Yes.
[gentle rhythmic tapping]
[River] Well, my sisters
were texting me
about a bet on a baby.
I'm just happy about it.
[laughs] About what?
[River] What do you mean,
"what?" [chuckles]
What are you happy about?
I love the little
hypothetical baby.
Oh, my God, River.
What?
How do you expect me
not to be excited?
Like, imagine a baby.
Okay.
We're obviously gonna
end the month
making substantially less.
How do we make that work?
Are you not concerned
with money?
Fuck the money.
Nah, we'll-we'll figure it out.
How?
You'll get a gig
at the sandwich shop, and...
you'll love it,
and if you don't,
we'll leave it behind.
I'll keep working at the bakery.
I can't just leave it behind.
River, you can't just decide
that you don't want
to do things anymore.
That doesn't... [sighs]
Can you please just trust me?
Why isn't that enough
for you, Celestina?
What can I grasp there, River?
What are you giving me
to hold on to?
Do you know
how things work, River?
Do you know how they work out?
No, y-you tell me.
I make things work out.
I make things work out.
Things work out
because I do them.
Why do we always
have to get into this?
What's going on with you?
Stop asking me that.
[bell chimes]
[dramatic guitar chord
resonates]
[River] Celly.
What do you need?
[Celestina] I don't know.
I don't know.
I thought this feeling
would go away.
[River] What? What feeling?
[Celestina]
I don't know, River.
It's like I've been
out of sync all day,
and I know what everybody...
you know, what they want
from me.
It's like
how they want me to move,
but it's this dance
that I can't...
I can't do it
because I don't even know it.
[River]
What do you need, Celestina?
[Celestina] I don't know.
[River] Can you just trust me?
I just know everything
is gonna be fine.
[Celestina]
How are things gonna be fine?
[River] Things tend
to work out, Celestina.
[Celestina]
No, they don't, River.
They don't just work out.
They work out
because I make them work out.
Because I make
the appointments, I...
I call in favors, and I
follow up when you forget to.
I make all of the plans.
And whether you realize it
or not,
when we get to that end point,
it's because I have
reverse-orchestrated
every step towards
the destination,
and you get to just
show up and go,
"See, babe,
everything always works out.
We're so lucky.
It went better than expected."
It didn't go better
than expected, River.
I made it work.
I do the fucking work.
Are you kidding me? [chuckles]
Are you kidding me?
You do some work.
I do some work.
We farm out.
It's a group effort.
[Celestina]
Group effort? Fuck off.
[River] So you-you just
expect me to be okay with that?
Why do you have a list
of times where I failed you
in your head?
[Celestina] I don't,
but I recognize patterns.
[River] If that's how you think
about the situation,
if that's how you feel, like,
why are we doing this?
Why are we even here?
[thunder rumbling]
[Meditation Mary] We're gonna
take a couple of deep breaths.
Inhale.
Exhale.
[guests exhaling loudly]
[scattered applause]
[whooping]
[cheering and applause pick up]
[enthusiastic cheering
and applause continue]
[cheering and applause fade]
[thunder rumbling]
[rhythmic clapping]
Celestina...
what do you vow?
What are my options?
[rapid rhythmic clapping
continues]
Is this the happiest
you've ever been?
Yes.
Will you love him
like we love him?
[Celestina] Sometimes.
Are you scared of the future?
Yeah.
Can you be with anyone forever?
Maybe.
Do you still think about us?
Yes.
Do you have enough
love for us all?
[Lara] Are you always
gonna be this serious?
[Geoffrey] Are you going
to keep yourself first?
Will you make time for us?
Yes.
Do you want this?
[Ayman] Will you consider going
back to grad school?
No.
If your father...
[coughing]
Um... Absolutely.
[overlapping questions]
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Maybe.
Kinda.
[clapping stops]
[questions end]
[Celestina] I'll try.
I know that.
I know that I'll try.
[guests murmuring]
She said she'll try.
Said she'll try.
She said she'll try.
She said she'll try.
She said...
She'll try?
[thunder rumbling]
[dramatic music playing]
[crunches]
[cheering and applause]
[Lara] To marriage!
[all] Marriage!
[Angelique] To my daughter!
[all] Celestina!
[Sabrina] To my friends!
[all] Friends!
[men] To the future!
[women] And nostalgia!
[River] To my wife!
[all] A wife!
[cheering and applause]
[cameras clicking]
[photographer]
Okay, big smiles, everybody.
Now, let's all look
at the bride.
[woman 1]
Celly, you look so beautiful.
[woman 2]
Sabrina! I love you, too!
Feels like it's my wedding!
Oh, amen, Ayman!
[dramatic music playing]
[lively, indistinct chatter]
[thunder rumbling]
This is the best night ever!
[man 1] Yo, River!
[woman 3] River! River! River!
[lively, indistinct chatter
continues]
[laughter]
[man 2] Open wide!
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug!
[lively, indistinct chatter
continues]
[woman 4]
I love that purple on you!
Celestina, Celestina.
You know, when I met
your father, I lost my mind.
I really did.
I took off from school
for a whole year
to live in a van.
And you know your mother.
[scoffs]
I am not meant for a van.
But I did it for your father.
Do you really think that anyone
in the world could love you
the way I love you...
Celestina? Celly?
...when you are the only one
in the world
who knows what
my heartbeat sounds like
from the inside of my body?
Hmm?
[chuckles]
It's different.
You know, we're not meant to
have the same love that we had
when we were just a figment
of our mother's imagination.
And if you're going
to be a wife,
let it be different.
[sighs]
Oh.
Thanks, Maman.
[thunder rumbling]
[Cookie] The unfortunate truth
of this world
is that being a wife
to a man means
cutting yourself
into bite-sized pieces
so that the world
doesn't choke on you.
So that your husband
doesn't choke.
So let him choke.
If you must.
If it comes to it.
You keep yourself whole.
[thunder crashes]
[dramatic synth music playing]
Will you be all right
without me?
Will you?
[sighs]
[whispering] Cookie.
Hmm?
Bubbeleh, please.
[chuckling]
All will be well.
All is well.
We'll be fine.
We'll be fine.
[voice echoes] We'll be fine.
We'll be fine.
[voice echoes] We'll be fine.
[gentle rhythmic tapping]
[lively chatter]
[guest 1] Celestina!
[guest 2] Celly! Celly!
[guest 3] Celestina!
[guest 4] Hey, Celestina!
[guest 5] Celestina!
Celestina!
Celestina!
[lively, indistinct chatter
continues]
[rhythmic tapping grows louder]
[chatter intensifies]
[chatter stops]
[thunder rumbling]
[lightning crashes]
[dramatic music playing]
[insects trilling]
[River] Celestina!
Celly!
Wait!
[Celestina panting]
[Celestina]
I thought that getting married
meant that you believed
in the future,
but I don't.
I don't believe any of it,
my love. I am lying.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know
if I'll love you forever.
[chuckles]
You think I'm pressed
about forever?
Love me now.
Of course I do,
but how will you feel
in ten years?
Like, how does that feel then?
We could die tomorrow,
in five years, in ten years.
Who cares?
[thunder rumbling]
[chimes tinkling softly]
I realize...
that I don't want to die.
Not yet...
at least.
I'm afraid of what comes next,
but I know that I love you.
And I'm terrified
of the world changing,
but I know that I love you.
[River]
This... this is just a ring.
This is just a wedding.
A party.
You want to know what matters?
You and me, them in there...
all together, we're an "us."
[lightning crashes]
The "us" is eternal.
[rhythmic pounding,
like a heartbeat]
What do we do
when shit gets skewed?
Recalibrate.
Recalibrate. Recalibrate.
There's no shame in that.
There's no shame at all.
[Celestina and River]
Recalibrate.
Recalibrate. Recalibrate.
[bell chimes]
[Meditation Mary]
Doesn't that feel good?
Isn't it awful to be alone?
Wouldn't you rather be with us?
["My --- Love?" by Terence Etc.
playing]
She was dark and lovely,
didn't see that crazy coming
Didn't see no beauty
leaving
Didn't see much
of nothing really
'Cause it was all a blur,
me and her, million miles per
We in love and do not care
I was on my masochistic shit,
me hurting me
She hurting she,
equal opportunity
I'm damaging my sanity
Thinking we could
make it work
That's complacency,
nth degree, L-O-V-E
Me an arrogant fool,
she was unstable too
She had that circumstance,
fatherless with no chance
'Cause she
the strong-headed type
Fisticuffs when we fight
Swinging wild,
that's her style
Her bite match her bark,
oh, child
Now I'm done and free,
used all our mercy
I haven't seen her
in some years
And that's how it's gotta be
'cause unfortunately
That's the intensity
of my first L-O-V-E
My first love,
my first love
My first love
My first love
My first love
My first love
[thunder crashes]
[yelling]
["My --- Love?" continues]
["My --- Love?" continues]
[thunder crashes]
["My --- Love?" ends]
[rain falling]
[River]
There's a light that shines
Out of your eyes
When I feel it
I feel alive
You make me feel alive
You make me
want to be alive
You make me understand
why we're allowed to be alive
It's true
I love you
I do
You make me feel alive
You make me
want to be alive
You make me understand
why we're allowed to be alive
You make me feel alive
You make me
want to be alive
You make me understand
why we're allowed to be alive
It's true
I love you
I do
It's true
I love you
I do
It's true
I love you
I do
[birds chirping]
[Celestina] All will be well.
["It Takes a Village"
by Terence Etc. playing]
To have or to hold
Wish me well
I place my coin in the well
Running out of change
And this is in the pocket
Running for a change
And this is in the pocket
I'm really trying to change
But I want you in my pocket
Ready? Ready?
Ready?
Last time I kissed you well
With a secret I'm gon' tell
Running for your life
The change is out of pocket
I'm shooting from the hip
But I don't know
if we can call it
Shit is getting real,
fake it till you got it
Steady
Steady, steady
Steady
I'll tie this knot
I learned at sea
Break it when you know
all of me, but
Healing from your wounds,
I don't know
If we can call it
Who are you to blame?
Fake it till you got it
Bodies aren't real,
you looking like a target
Ready
Aim
Fire
Let's get even,
let's get even
Let's get even,
let's do the math for once
Let's be odd, let's be odd
Let's be odd,
let's do the reading at once
Let's do the reading
at once
[all] All will be well.
At once
[all] All will be well.
All will be well.
Storm won't spare us,
it'll take all of us
[all] All will be well.
Storm won't spare us,
it'll make fools of us
[all] All will be well.
Storm won't share us,
it'll take all of us
[all] All will be well.
It'll take all of us,
it will take all of us...
[all] All will be well.
It will take all of us
It'll take all of us,
all of us
All of us, all of us
[song ends]
["My --- Love?" by Terence Etc.
playing]
[man] Five, six, seven...
She was dark and lovely,
didn't see that crazy coming
Didn't see no beauty
leaving
Didn't see much
of nothing really
'Cause it was all a blur,
me and her, million miles per
We in love and do not care
I was on my masochistic shit,
me hurting me
She hurting she,
equal opportunity
I'm damaging my sanity
Thinking we could
make it work
That's complacency,
nth degree, L-O-V-E
Me an arrogant fool,
she was unstable too
She had that circumstance,
fatherless with no chance
'Cause she
the strong-headed type
Fisticuffs when we fight
Swinging wild,
that's her style
Her bite match her bark,
oh, child
Now I'm done and free,
used all our mercy
I haven't seen her
in some years
And that's how it's gotta be
'cause unfortunately
That's the intensity
of my first L-O-V-E
My first love,
my first love
My first love
My first love,
my first love
My first love
["My --- Love?" continues]
[song slows, softens]
Feeding on each other
And loving every minute
I'm not grown
Tasted like right at first
But in the end all wrong
I'm not grown
No, I'm not grown
Not grown
[song slows, turns tender]
Just so you know
My lust is still
Very fresh
I'm not grown
I want you simply
And even now
You could care less
What a joke
What a terrible joke
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha-ha-ha
[song ends]
[yelling sighs from all]