Then Barbara Met Alan (2022) Movie Script

OK, look, the story starts
..with him.
It has to.
Me and him.
Sexy bastard.
I mean,
I know this is stand-up, but...
..I've not introduced my friend.
This is Chip.
He looks a bit wooden, love! Yeah.
All right, little drummer boy.
Now, Chip has a problem... You're
late, mate. ..For some reason,
people seem to like putting coins
in his head.
Is it the way he looks?
He looks... He looks funny.
Am I right?
That's Wanda Barbara. Does he
look like he's dying? Wanda Barbara?
Or that he deserves to die?
She's the crip comedian.
I mean, what is it about the way
he looks that makes people
want to give his brain
lead poisoning?
Can you figure it out?
Do you reckon they can?
Fucking hell.
Right, question.
How many mutes have we got
in here tonight?
Come on! Fine! I'm
suffocating up here as it is.
Chip is too.
More because he's got 50 quid in
five-pence pieces
stuck up his nostrils.
Oh, fucking hell, Chip! Right!
You've been borderline psychotic.
I've been funny...
..though none of you noticed.
All right, all right.
Come on, everyone.
Keep that applause going.
Let's bring it up again
for the amazing Wanda Barbara!
Now you are in for a treat,
my friends.
Please get ready for the legend
that he's going to become -
Johnny Crescendo!
Johnny Crescendo? It was going to be
Sammy Scrabble.
Come on, Johnny!
# I've known you now for...
How long is it?
# And where'd you get that leg?
# Are you all right on the stairs?
# And where'd you get that leg?
# Why do you walk silly?
# And where'd you get that leg?
# Have you got a willy?
# And where'd you get that leg?
# You see, my mum
She's in hospital
# She's sitting up in bed
# She'll soon be
walking round, though, I know
# By the way, where'd you
get that leg?
# I don't mean to be personal, son
# But where'd you get that leg?
# Has it affected half your bum?
# And where'd you get that leg?
# Are you a man with half a brain
spent his time in bed?
# His parents are under
quite a strain
# Where'd you get that leg?
# I got it with some petrol
# Cos it was going free
# This hand I got cos I never wiped
# My willy when I weed
# I got it by an accident
# I got it through bad luck
# Got run over by a Yorkie bar
# Disguised as a truck
# I got it for my birthday
# For Christmas, Halloween
# Which leg are you talking about?
# I don't know what you mean
# You see, my mum
She's in hospital
# She's sitting up in bed
# She'll soon be
walking round, though, I know
# By the way, where'd you
get that leg?
# Now, I don't mean
to be personal, son
# But where'd you get that leg?
# I don't mean to be personal, son
# But where'd you get that leg?
# I don't mean to be personal, son
# But where'd you get that leg? #
Thank you very much.
Hey, that was good.
Your act.
No-one laughed.
Well, sometimes you just catch
the wrong mood.
OK, Broadway veteran,
whatever you say.
You want a drink?
No. Come on.
Well, why not?
Because I know what will happen.
Excuse me. What?
Fuck sake. Jeez.
Because I know what'll happen.
I'll get drunk. You'll get drunk.
You'll try and kiss me.
I'll let you.
And then you'll either beg me
for an embarrassing blowie
round the back of the bar,
lay out 40 quid for a cheap room,
20 quid for some cheap booze,
and then we'll have sex.
Either way, you'll end up poorer,
and I'll have a hangover.
And I don't want a hangover.
It doesn't sound SO bad.
Can you lend me 60 quid?
NEWS: Disabled protesters brought
part of the Tube network
to a halt this afternoon in an angry
protest over wheelchair access...
Disabled people from across Britain
caused chaos
to South Wales' rail services...
The protest started at just after
three o'clock this afternoon,
when disabled people handcuffed
themselves to Tube trains
on east and westbound platforms...
Why should disabled people pay for
non-disabled people's transport?
Campaigners accuse the Government
of scuppering legislation to give
the disabled equal rights.
Dozens of trains were disrupted
and there were six arrests
as protesters targeted Cardiff...
They say that while they're denied
what they claim
are basic civil rights,
today's protest won't be the last.
Oh, you're shy.
Oh... You got me up here
and you're shy.
Hold on, you sort of got me
up here, actually.
You opened the door and...
Well, I took the opportunity.
Hey, I-I could sing you one of
my new songs.
Yeah. Chip and I are going to go.
Oh, look, I've got my trumpet here.
Chip feels a bit sad on your behalf.
Come on. We've spent the money now.
What, and that's why
we should have sex?
Because otherwise
we'll waste 40 quid?
Besides, I lent you it.
All right, moneybags!
On stage, you're the big "I am".
That's on stage.
# Can you help our new son Chip
# Who's stuck to this piece of turf?
# He's got a crutch
# He's got a box
# So we can stand and beg
# And where'd he get that leg? #
Fuck it.
Alan dropped my 60 quid
through the door
two days after the sex.
Three days after,
he called and asked me if he could
take me on a date.
I told him no, put down
the receiver,
waited ten seconds,
then reverse-charged a yes.
You know, made him pay for it.
He was delightful to play with.
Oh, allow me, milady,
to get this for you.
Look at you. Yeah.
Ah. Well.
Looks like we're having takeaway,
Fuck this. Just...
Right, just give me a sec.
I'm going to...
Alan, that's a door.
You can't fight a door.
They need a bigger door.
Well, they don't give a shit,
do they?
But we fight...
..every battle.
You understand that?
Every single one.
Where are you going?
Excuse me! Hi. Hiya. Yeah.
Do you not like disabled people
in your restaurant?
What was true for pizza restaurants
was true for everywhere.
We were expected to fit in
and shut up.
Crips had no rights at all.
It was 1990, and still nothing
in law, just a pat on the head
and a "fuck off" if you moan
too much.
We'll have a nice romantic dinner.
Very romantic. Thank you.
And we'll have a beer
and a red wine as well.
Well, I'm impressed.
They don't get to get away with it.
Treating you badly.
Not on my watch.
Aw, going to protect me, are you?
And who's going to protect you?
Ooh, I'm beyond help.
This is nice.
I think so, too.
Right, come on, then. Mushrooms.
Yes or no? Not for me.
Really? I think you're an angel.
Looking after these people.
Yeah, yeah. He's great, love, yeah.
You know what?
Will you pray for me, please?
Oh, I don't...
I don't...
Pray for me? Oh, please!
Please, will you pray for her?
No, pl...please!
Please! Please pray for her, please!
Where are you going, love?
Come back!
Well, you're quiet.
Don't you like nature?
Mud isn't exactly my friend.
Other couples do it.
You know, go for walks.
OK, two questions.
since when are we a couple?
can I walk?
It is beautiful, though.
Sit on my lap.
Sit on my lap.
And, no, you're not getting
a reach-around. OK.
You never seen Mac And Me?
Oh, Jesus, you're heavy!
Right, hold tight.
What the fuck are you doing?
I need a place to stay.
I'm about to be fired for
leading an insurrection at work.
Of course you are.
And I've run out of funds.
So...can I stay at yours?
Fucking hell!
He smelt good, he felt good,
he was a ball of energy,
and, together, it felt like
we could change the world.
Go. Nearly there.
What happened to you?
Fell out of an aeroplane.
You? Born this way.
# Talk this way! #
# Walk... #
Oh, now wait. Damn!
She can't live up there.
Better than being stuck in
a hospital for three months.
Council pickings. It's all we got.
You can't carry her up and down
like that every day.
She's going to be stuck.
She doesn't want the fuss.
She's happy to be home.
The Happy Crip and other myths
that are good to share.
Accessible housing was inaccessible.
You either couldn't get a job
or, if you did,
you wouldn't dare call in sick.
And with no ramps on buses and
shitty stairs in train stations,
the only way we could get anywhere
was cadging a lift with mates.
Come on, mate. Will you give me
a hand getting this stuff in?
First your cabbie,
now your porter?
I even invited you to stay at mine.
All right? You all right?
As fun as it would be,
choosing between top-and-tailing
with you and your mum,
I've found a better offer.
Pissing it down. Hurry up.
Look after him, will you?
He needs a bath! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mwah! Get a move on!
Hey! Hey, Billy, you wanker!
Got to go, mate!
Got a better offer!
Pick it up.
Welcome back.
They're playing the violins over
here now!
Every two years,
Alan and his mates got together
to hate-watch the ITV Telethon.
28 hours of well-intentioned
dangling us poor crips in front of
the nation's bleeding hearts.
Basically, 28 hours of hardcore
inspiration porn.
Look at him, trying to be grateful.
We all try and look grateful,
Billy. True.
Stephen has always wanted to play
football. Aw!
Thanks to the money
raised from the Telethon,
he now has a wheelchair
that allows him to...
Still not play fucking football!
Oh, look at them zooming in! Aw!
His little face!
How does it feel to still not be
playing football, Stephen?
I hate this.
Wait till you see how many
people dial in,
weeping pennies for poor Steve.
Why are we watching it?
Because it's informative
and educative
to see what they think
of us. Right!
Well, turn it off.
Don't. I want to see it.
Pity - wrapped up in
a nice pink bow.
Oi! Watch that rug! It's worth
more than you are.
Oh! Hey! Chris fucking Tarrant!
Thank you.
No, no, no, no, no.
My house, my rules! We're going
to miss the good bit.
They're going to have the talking
guide dog on soon.
I don't like it!
At school, I wasn't allowed to sit
and eat with the other kids.
My chair wasn't compatible to
the canteen table,
and they were fixed
to the floor.
So I ate alone in the science lab
with a teacher called Mr Hendrix.
Mr Hendrix asked me to call him
Neil, six months in.
He was my mate, my only mate.
THAT'S what being disabled
is all about.
That's what they should show.
Kneel for Neil!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
He only had me
in the cellar on Wednesdays.
Dirty fucker!
Now, you could say,
and you'd be right to ask,
"What's wrong with charity?"
Well, I'll tell you what's wrong.
It sees us as victims.
Passive victims who need your help,
but that's fucked up.
We're not fucking useless.
It's society that's disabling.
If the world was designed a little
better, we wouldn't need help.
We could support ourselves.
XXX Dirty fucker.
Charity is giving pennies to the pot
when the kitchen's on fire.
Rights, not charity,
that's what we need.
Agh! Fuck!
Calliper! Barb?
Every time.
Bad news.
The toilet's blocked.
Other news.
I might be pregnant.
Are you OK?
I'm OK.
Are you OK?
I'm OK.
Because I've got an idea.
All right.
About what?
You know they've just given
the bus station a new paint job?
MUSIC: What A Waste
by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Hurry, for God's sake!
What on earth is that?
You'll see!
# What a waste
# Because I chose to play the fool
in a six-piece band
# First-night nerves every
one-night stand
# I should be glad to be
so inclined
# What a waste! What a waste!
But I don't mind... #
Shit! Transport for all!
Move! Move, move, move!
Get away! Transport for all!
# ..What a waste! What a waste!
But I don't mind. #
HE CLEARS HIS THROA Your solicitor isn't picking up,
so you'll have to wait to be
Right you are, Officer.
Are you OK, waiting in here?
It's just, there's steps down to
the cells and...
You want us to kip in your van?
It's just a couple of hours
till the shift change, you see.
No. It is our legal right to be put
in a cell and...
It's two hours. We'll cope.
Thank you.
I've put your wheelchair
behind reception.
I'll check on you.
I think I love you.
Go on, then. You're supposed to
say it back now.
Maybe later.
I'm going to keep it.
I mean, it's your body and...
Good. And we can still protest...
Yes. Having this baby won't make
life stop.
..because I think we can do
something special here.
Can we? Yes.
Yes. Yes! Trouble is,
what was that meant to achieve?
Fuck them for spending money
on a paint job
instead of actually solving access.
That's what the point of...
Buses are small.
Buses are vital.
If people can't get on 'em...
We need to think bigger.
Transport is the most visible thing.
If we get transport right,
then we can shine a light...
Let's take disability from the
health pages to the front pages.
OK, Rupert Murdoch.
Let's take down the Telethon.
Holy shit.
We decided we would block
Telethon and mobilise every crip
we could find, but as there was no
crip section in the Yellow Pages,
it was about connects.
Find a crip, make a crip
a friend, build a crip alliance.
People wanted to know
why we were fighting,
so I went on some TV talk shows.
Will you just slow down a minute?
Let's just...catch our breaths.
What do you call it?
Strategise. I wanted to be here
an hour ago, to strategise.
I didn't plan on you holding
traffic to a standstill,
spinning your Calippo around
like a lasso.
A Calippo is an ice lolly. Ohh!
A calliper is a leg brace.
And that bus driver
should have let us on.
You just wanted to teach me
a lesson!
I wanted us to get here ourselves.
And I wanted to look...
Well, not like this.
Not on fucking television.
You know what? You stay outside.
What? Strategise how we get home.
Going to get you miked up. Yeah.
Is there time for make-up?
No, I don't think so. No?
Watch this...
..thing. Push?
Right. Agh! There we go.
Um... Right, there's another one
here. OK. OK?
And there we go. Right.
I'm sorry, again, for being late.
Oh, no, it's really no problem.
OK. Final checks!
OK. Shall we get you into position?
I'm... I'm going to need
a bit of...
Come here...
This here? This side.
That side. That side. OK?
Going live in five, four,
three... There we go.
And back to us live in
the studio.
Now, I'm here with Joe Simpson
and Barbara Lisicki
to discuss the upcoming ITV
and the protest
that's being organised
by disabled people
all over the country.
Now, Joe, what are your thoughts?
We're listening, and that's why,
this year, we're putting emphasis
on the scale and the need to
not just be concerned
with social issues for
the 28 hours of the Telethon.
I mean, we and all our charities
really care about these voices
that are emerging and,
you know, we're adjusting
to meet their challenge.
Yeah, of course.
Thank you. Hi.
And what do you think?
The Telethon is pure
show-us-your-stumps voyeurism.
It's a parade of begging,
drooling cripples
displaying their infirmities
in return for charity hand-outs.
The Telethon,
it's an emotional experience.
We're trying to create empathy.
Disabled people work with us
and they support what we do.
I think pity,
it''s counterproductive,
both to the wide variety of groups
that we're trying to help,
but it's also counterproductive
to raising funds.
Your badly directed altruism...
Let's call it good intentions.
Your altruism convinces us
that we don't deserve our dignity,
our self-respect and humanity.
You spend money on advertising
in case we forget who we are, and
then you book celebrities to come
and empathetically pat our heads.
It sounds like you've got
a lot to say.
Block Telethon is about
reclaiming our pride.
It's about equality.
It's about celebrating who we are,
coming together as people.
No more charity.
What we want instead is
real rights, real choices.
So if you are watching on the day
and you want to support us,
don't phone.
It hurts our feelings.
If I may... Sorry, Joe. I'm just
going to have to stop you there.
We are just about out of time
for this week.
Thank you so much to our guests.
Thank you for watching.
Bye for now.
Let me hear some noise!
ITV has got it wrong!
We don't want your Telethon!
# I want choices and rights
# Choices and rights... #
Telethon is a magnificent
opportunity for us
to be able to use the medium
of television to raise awareness,
to raise issues, to raise funds.
Terrible imagery, terrible
images of disabled people
being objects of pity.
I don't accept that. I don't...
That day, for the first time in
the history of this country,
thousands of disabled people
joined together to say no!
We couldn't believe it,
and neither could ITV.
They found us
and we found ourselves -
an attitude,
a way we wanted to be.
People in the building opposite
are begging on our behalf!
And, if they're listening,
we want to tell you,
you don't have our permission.
Block Telethon! Block it! It's shit!
CHANTS: Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
I'm going to be digging
for eggs with a JCB.
You've got to come and see this
Mining for eggs...
Rights not charity! Heavens.
And there'll be all sorts of things.
There'll be Atlantic 252
who are going to be there...
Oh, dear.
We've got some cross people.
..People outside this building
opposing this programme.
I'll tell you what,
we will now see the reason
we are doing this programme.
Here's another film. Thank you.
# Choices and rights
# That's what we gotta fight for
# Choices and rights... #
CHANTS: Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Come on!
A little article the next year,
quietly announced the end
of the Telethon. We killed it.
And perhaps more importantly, we now
had a network of disabled people
who believed in the power
of collective action.
And they all had our phone number.
People kept calling to ask Alan
and I what we were doing next
and where.
Cos you see, that's the thing.
Direct action was needed everywhere.
London, it was inaccessible
enough, but what about Manchester,
Cardiff, Newcastle?
So we went on tour.
Show off.
OK, Sue and Deepak in position,
ready to roll? Ready to roll, over.
OK. Ian, Billy, Emily, ready
to roll? Yeah, we're ready, mate.
We're ready. Let's go.
RADIO: OK, I can see the bus coming.
Into position.
That's it, nice and slow.
Back in a mo.
Here you are, mate.
Come on, guys.
CHANTS: Hey-hey! Ho-ho!
Steps on buses have got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho! Steps on buses
have got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho!
NEWS: For almost two hours,
the police and fire crews
tried to persuade
the protesters to free themselves.
We became DAN,
the Direct Action Network,
taking our fight for access
to anywhere and everywhere
that shut us out.
Parts of Cardiff City Centre
have been brought to a standstill
once more as disabled campaigners
carry out a second day of protests.
These were scenes the police
had hoped to avoid,
but as activists handcuffed
themselves to buses, they moved in,
arresting two campaigners.
Others were dragged from
underneath coaches
in this final day of protest
aimed at causing the maximum
Did you come off at the right
turning? Yeah, yeah.
We're on the right... Right,
listen, don't be pricks.
Don't hit a policeman,
be mardy as hell.
I'm disabled, alright?
What, you going to deny
a black man his only right,
of his wheelchair?
NEWS: Dozens of trains were
and there were six arrests...
..A claim British Rail denies.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Leeds.
Manchester, you numpty!
It's Manchester, the North.
Thank God.
Right, so...
..this next song is
called Fixed Penalty Notice.
# Access, access
United we're strong
# We won't go away
cos we know you're wrong
# Access, access
We had to wait too long
# We're here and we're gonna stay
# You say your public toilets
Trains and buses too
# But when you say public
you only mean you
# We're members of the public
and we've got rights too
# All we want is access now... #
Here we go!
# ..Access, access, access, access
# Access, access, access, access. #
Ooh! Are you drunk?
Alan, talk to me.
All right. I'll see you in a month,
Mr Holdsworth.
Suits you.
Thank you.
Where are we? Glasgow.
Are we? Right, um...
Thank you, Glasgow!
This is Fixed Penalty Notice.
# Access, access... #
NEWS: The protest leader had thrown
himself out of his wheelchair
and was wedged between this Sprinter
train and the platform.
I only want to be able to go
I want to go restaurants.
I want to go to the cinema
without being a fire risk.
Can you walk? Not at all?
As the protesters were driven away
by the police... What do we want?
Civil rights! ..British Rail,
which has invested thousands of
pounds... When do we want it? Now! Queen Street Station on lifts,
was feeling disillusioned.
As the months flew by,
Alan was around less and less.
We took down cinemas, social clubs.
We even had a good go at Harrods.
But the bigger the campaign,
the greater the toll on us.
We have come a long way, in my view,
but I don't disguise from the House
for one single moment
that a very great deal
remains to be done.
But was it really necessary
to demonstrate in this way?
We're at the stage now, where
we will not take this lying down.
We're at the stage where
we have got no room to manoeuvre
except to demonstrate actively
on the streets.
# Access, access... #
Finish! Hey!
What we want... access...
Alan was so angry. We all were.
But he started to want the fight
more than the result.
We were winning.
We were winning each battle,
but the war?
He didn't really want to think
about the war.
So I had to.
Bye. Bye.
What are you two doing?
We're just being silly, aren't we?
Aren't we? R-R-Rargh! Being silly?
Hey, that was someone called
Victoria Scott from Radar.
Says there's a new Disability
Discrimination Bill coming out.
Hey! You hear me? Yeah, I heard you.
Look, I'm as sceptical as you are,
but this could actually be
something. Yeah, I heard you.
Hey, Jasia, darling, why
don't you go and play in the garden?
Go on, darling. There's a good girl.
Good girl.
I'm going out.
No, you said you'd look after Jasia.
I've got to get to the printers.
Oh, fucking postcards.
You know what's needed is
straight action.
What's needed is civil rights
by law.
Right, don't concern yourself
with the big things.
What does that fucking mean?
You want to get arrested again.
I won't get arrested. You will.
Then I'll have to leave
Jasia with my mum,
go down, bail you out again.
Leave me there.
Don't look at me like that!
I'm giving you everything I can.
Is this everything? Fucking hell!
And me so ungrateful.
You're a leader.
I'm a doer.
You're a twat.
Print your pissing postcards!
I piss on pity, Alan!
I piss on self-pity, too.
How many able-bodied people does
it take to change a light bulb?
I don't care!
I'm going to do a poem
for you now.
It's about cerebral palsy,
political correctness,
private constables
and corporal punishment.
AUDIENCE: Whoo. Hmm.
It can be PC to like CP
I like CP that is pervy
My friend you see that has CP...
Excuse me!
..Is into CP - is that PC?
Excuse me.
If he had CP with a PC and two CP
Like all PCs
PC might not he beat him
Cos his CP with that PC
Might say to me it's bad CP
And then revealed to be
A PC CP into CP
For S and M.
Thank you very much.
You OK?
Fine. Shit crowd tonight.
Ah, good.
I'm feeling really funny.
Alan being a twat?
Oh, can't cope with being a dad.
Can't cope with his chair.
Can't cope with me.
Can't cope with you?
With all the pink handcuffs
you got in your house? Fuck off.
No-one puts Barbara in a box.
Not since Taplow.
Ah, the rheumatology hospital.
I did six months in that hellhole.
I was stuck there a year.
Oppressive fucking place.
They told us we had to use
these stupid wheelchairs
so as not to put too much weight
on our hips.
But we'd dump the chairs
and hitchhike to the pub!
The way they talked to me, after.
"Do you you realise
what you risk?"
"Do you realise what you could do
to yourself?"
I screamed,
"Do you realise
"what you're doing to me,
"protecting me
"by doing everything but let me
live a life?"
Well, I wouldn't accept it
from them.
Won't accept it from anyone.
It's the drowning of the quiet
that gets me.
I mean, the loud, they can
just about stick up for themselves,
refuse to let the lid close on them,
tell them all to eff off.
But the quiet ones -
how many times have they been told
how they should live their lives
and then done it because
it's their nature to be quiet?
Get off me! Stop touching the chair!
Leave me alone. All right?
I said, excuse me.
This is boring! Everyone's sitting
here, stony-faced.
Why aren't we having a laugh?
I tried to stop him.
Let him make
a dick of himself.
It'll be cleansing!
Ladies and gentlemen...
That's enough!
For God's sake! Stupid...!
Yeah, everyone,
get ready for the late
Johnny Crescendo.
Thank you! Thank you! Right, so...
OK. OK...
So, a man walks into a pub,
rolls into a pub, and it's...
No, it's... It's a strip club.
Fuck it. OK. Fuck it,
it's a brothel.
No. No, that's not funny, is it?
Enough with this shit, yeah?
Come on.
I've... I've written a new song
and it has to be heard, so...
HE CLEARS HIS THROA This one's for Barbara.
# Anyone who ever held you
# Would tell you the way I'm feeling
# Anyone who ever wanted you
# Tried to tell you of
this feeling inside
# The only thing I ever wanted
# Wait a minute
# Can't you see that I... #
# ..Wanna fall from the stars... #
You know it!
# Straight into your arms and I
# I feel you
# I hope you comprehend... #
He thinks he sang that song for me.
He didn't.
Alan sang it for Alan...
..and Mick Hucknall.
Oh, God. You got it? Yeah.
Yeah, you sure? Yeah.
I saw your campaign
against Robert Hayward. Thank you.
All those people you got there,
it was impressive.
And the Leeds Station protest,
that was impressive.
Anyway, my point is...
You're impressed by me.
Sorry, am I sounding like an idiot?
We're putting together
a group of people...
Hi, I'm Victoria.
Alan, isn't it?
I was just telling Barbara here
how much I admire what you've done
with your campaign.
Well, that's why we did it.
We wanted your admiration.
I work for Radar, the charity.
Oh! So we're on the same team,
aren't we?
Didn't know teams had been picked.
In what way is Radar
part of the problem?
Well, maybe they're not,
but I've sold 40 of these
and we need the funds, so...
Why are you here, love?
A new Disability Discrimination Act.
A chance to be made equal in law.
For it to be illegal
to be discriminated against.
Our rights finally recognised.
Aren't you the daughter of that Tory
twat that's trying to block it?
Alan, you're being a knob.
Why does she care about our rights?
I've got to prove I care, do I?
I've seen people like you here
before, and you've not helped.
Not really.
That's a fair point.
Yeah, I get it.
I get how you've been
let down before.
But I'm not my dad.
I do have lobbyists working with me.
I do have an alliance.
And with you guys on our side,
with your activism and your numbers,
I think we can make real change.
This? Yes!
All right. Finally!
Billy, you don't look great.
You want to take a break?
I loved getting postcards
as a kid.
I had a pen pal in Germany
and he came over
and we took him to Blackpool,
and his eyes...
It wasn't how he expected
England to look. Or me to look.
When this is over,
you should go away.
You, Alan, Jasia - to the beach.
You two need it.
Or he needs it.
He needs you.
You could come too!
What are you doing? Get the van.
I want to know which pubs
will let us use the toilet.
I want to know where we can plug
the PA in.
I want to be right outside
the Commons, bang in their faces.
We could get a few deaf
and crips together
to handcuff themselves
to the buses,
here and here, so we can take
over the damn roundabout.
I was thinking we could try
and get inside.
We could fill the whole Lobby.
The Lobby of the Commons?
They wouldn't be able to ignore us.
Not then.
Only have to be invited
there by your MP.
No, that won't work.
Well, maybe it will.
Look, I've got a plan here.
I've got a plan too, Alan.
We did his plan,
not that that...
Not that any plan
would have made a difference.
I mean, seriously,
what is there to do?
What time is it? I don't know.
They're coming, they're coming.
Wh-What's going on?
Victoria, what's going on?
They've done the dirty on us.
Look, see for yourself.
I've got to go.
We were going to win. Second
reading, support everywhere.
Then 82 amendments turn up
from nowhere.
82 amendments written
by five Tory MPs,
blocking out the Bill,
using up the Parliamentary time,
worried it will cost their mates
in business too much money.
And who was responsible
for this mess?
Who arranged the amendments?
Nicholas Scott.
Victoria's dad.
We'd lost.
We'd lost as soon as we'd started.
Alan, what's going on?
He's going to die.
What happened?
It's some sort of pneumonia,
Billy's going to die.
His mum said he can have a few
more visitors, but...I can't.
Of course you can. No, I can't.
He's my best mate.
Have you told him that lately?
Go on, tell him.
Who's coming in?
He was never happier.
You know that? Never happier
than when he was working
with you lot.
We love working with him too.
We'll do a collection for Billy
Direct Action Network
will get all the money.
You don't need to worry
about that right now.
This is exactly when I do need to
worry about it.
When I want to worry about it.
When I want to think about it.
He knew this was coming.
Tried always to look
on the bright side. Yeah.
He's just a kid.
He still feels like
just a kid to me.
I know.
I love you.
Disabled people die.
Billy's death hit us all...
..but it also gave us some fire
to fight on.
This time, we WERE going
to get that Bill through.
Whatever it took,
we were going to win.
It's so crucial that we get this
in front of as many MPs as possible,
we're only going to get
so many goes at this.
If we are to get sponsors
for the Bill, then we're looking
at dull. Boring, boring.
Dull and boring. Boring, boring,
boring. Boring, dull.
Dull, dull, boring.
Politics was the big arena.
Of course it was.
We needed to be heard
in the corridors of power.
We needed to plan.
Get it right.
It's just...
It didn't feel like me.
You know?
We want to avoid
any possible negative press.
The MP...
It's more of a shake-hands job.
Hmph. The civil servant...
We're hoping you'll be comfortable
with that.
Are you?
Sorry, I missed something.
We're just saying the focus
of the day is voting for the DDA.
Now that we've got the opportunity
for another vote,
we need to play ball a little.
Is there a point I'm missing here?
The police aren't going to
give you a permit.
We don't need a permit.
I doubt Alan would even have
the foggiest how to apply for one.
What they're saying is,
they don't want a protest.
Then why am I here?
It's important to show
that we're united.
The Government need to know
your Disability Action Network
are going to...
You want us to be good crips?
This is the start.
The social model, this Act
is the beginning of welcoming
disabled people into society
and, in turn, we have to show
the movement as one.
A small compromise on the way
to something special.
It's not so bad, is it?
Sometimes, we have to compromise.
So they want us...
..but they don't want us to protest.
Well, their argument is,
we'll get our rights, so...
So what, do we just...
..stand there and clap?
Say thank you?
We have to show solidarity.
With them?
It's a shitty compromise.
And no-one will thank you for it.
I'm going out.
It feels like we've had
this conversation before.
I always wanted a family,
you know that.
I just got a movement instead.
Well, I got a family
AND a movement.
So how does that fit in
with your plan?
Look, fuck 'em.
I was...
Nothing about us without us.
So get ready, cos we need you.
You don't need me.
No, you're right,
we need Johnny Crescendo.
Look at me.
Johnny's knackered.
We fight every battle.
You understand that?
Every single one.
Those words ring a bell.
It meant a lot to me then,
mean a lot to me now.
We didn't work,
but the movement still can.
We didn't work?
Too much damage, don't you think?
Whatever Mick Hucknall says,
because this isn't
doing us any good.
You move out when you can.
Sorry, sorry. I'm OK.
Well, you better be.
You're looking less brave
and more tragic right now.
I still love you.
I love you, too.
That's the first time you've said
It was always there.
You know what we should do?
We should fill the Lobby
of the Commons.
# We gonna do some kind of
introduction ourselves, you know?
# There it comes!
# There it comes!
# There it comes now! #
Piss on pity!
Yeah. No, get the leaflets out,
but it's more about us being loud.
Today, the Disability
Discrimination Bill
goes before Parliament.
For the first time in the history
of the disability
civil rights movement,
it is a Government-backed Bill.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
# ..I tell you
# I tell you people
# The manager
# Mr P Musanda
# On that bass
# Giddy King Mulenga
# On the drums
# Star MacBoyd Sinkala
# On the keyboard
# Paul Jones Mumba
# All right
# Fade down... #
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
ALL: Civil rights!
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
Civil rights!
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
We want what you've got!
Civil rights!
We want what you've got!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Disabled protesters brought Central
London to a standstill today,
with an angry demonstration
against the Government.
Some threw themselves
from wheelchairs into the road,
others handcuffed themselves
to buses.
We want what they've got!
They demand equal civil rights,
intensely angered by what they see
as Government wrecking tactics
over the Civil Rights
(Disabled Persons) Bill.
Steps on buses have got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho! Steps on buses
have got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho! Steps on buses
have got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho!
What do we want? Civil rights!
When do we want it? Now!
What do we want? Civil rights!
When do we want it? Now!
We've done everything
in the democratic way,
and now we've got to take civil
disobedience to get our rights.
I think, as British subjects,
they should be given equal rights,
no matter what their status.
What do we want? Civil rights!
What do we want? Civil rights!
When do we want it? Now!
You get out from underneath there.
I can't, I'm afraid.
I haven't got the key.
Get off me!
Get off me! Get off my chair!
Get off my chair! Get off me!
Get off me!
Choices and rights!
Oh, you came! You came!
# Walk this way!
BOTH: # Talk this way! #
Civil rights! When do we want it?
Order, order!
What do we want? Civil rights!
When do we want it? Now!
What do we want? Civil rights!
When do we want it? Now!
RADIO: As many as are of that opinion
say aye. Aye!
On the contrary, no.
I think the ayes have it.
CHANTING: Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Right, right.
Today is a day about...
Wipe the mouthpiece!
It's not working! Can't hear you!
Today is a day about history.
What they have passed in there,
it won't be enough,
but it will be a start.
SHOUTS OF AGREEMEN Change has happened because
we forced people to look at us
in a different way,
and we all did it.
100,000 people refused pity
and fought for rights!
All right! I'm still speaking!
Of course you are!
Well, we stole this phrase
from the anti-apartheid movement -
nothing about us without us.
It's always meant a lot to me.
And Barbara.
And that's what this campaign
was about. Whoo!
So, bless you all
and fuck those people
that'll hold us back.
CHANTS: Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Rights not charity!
Sometimes the battle is knowing
when not to fight, you know?
We were great for the movement
but not for each other.
On you get, Barbara.
The Disability Discrimination Act
was passed.
But the Act that was passed that day
was a piece of shit.
Nothing enforceable by law.
Nothing protecting us
from discrimination in jobs.
"It is not Government's intention
"to impose unrealistic burdens
on businesses."
But it stated
for the first time in statute
that the Government agreed
we are being discriminated against.
In 2005, the legislation got better.
And in 2010, with the Equality Act,
it was getting towards reasonable.
Hardly fucking reasonable.
All right, Barbara?
Hey, Barb. All right?
We didn't do this on our own.
Even some of the fucking charities
finally got what we were on about.
The law is only a piece of paper.
It's people. People need
to be willing to change.
Bollocks to that. Why?
Whether or not people
are willing to change,
disabled people have a right
to inhabit every last corner
of this society.
Disabled people will not be ignored
any longer,
and everybody needs to know that
we mean business.
Listen, I think we've got
some people we need to thank.
What about this lot?
Yeah, we can start with them.
I mean, look...
We've got Liz Carr, we've
got Mat Fraser without his dreads.
Billy's back from the dead!
I think this lot definitely
deserve our thanks.
What about him?
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Hi, Barbara. Yeah. Even him.
How are you doing?
Remember this song?
# I don't want your sorrow
ALL: # Don't want your tears
# I want choices and rights
in our lives... #
Here we go!
The Direct Action Network is
We're growing all the time.
There are a lot of disabled people
that are interested in supporting us
and taking this kind of action
until we get the civil rights
that we're entitled to.
I'll tell you what, we'll swap. You
ring the bell and you use the ramp.
You walk round that dark alley
to get back up to the lift.
We're out there
and we can't be ignored.
And I think it's made
one of the biggest impacts
in the last several decades on
the thinking around disability.
# Identity
# Identity is the crisis
Can't you see?
# Identity
# Identity
# When you look in the mirror
do you see yourself?
# Do you see yourself
on the TV screen?
# Do you see yourself
in the magazine?
# When you see yourself
# Does it make you scream?
# Identity is the crisis
Can't you see?
# Identity... #