Thieves in the Night (2023) Movie Script
(bells jingle)
(tense dramatic music)
[The Boss] Ah, bloody hell.
Hey, sweetheart, do you
know what we were saying?
They've buggered it up already.
It was supposed to be a simple little job.
I mean Christ knows
what they're gonna do next.
(siren wailing in the distance)
[Cody] It's fucking freezing out here.
That was a good shot back there.
- That last guy's safe.
- Oh, cheers.
[Cody] Smashing stuff, girl.
And it did get Peter killed, but still.
[Sofie] Wait, what?
You think he's dead?
[Cody] Frankly, my dear.
Well, like he can give a fuck.
[Sofie] Hey, what about this one?
[Cody] Fuck off. We are not
going into a house with dogs.
- Are you fucking serious?
- Well it could be
a lovely little fuckin' cockle
doodle poo, couldn't it?
But the trouble is, love,
it could be a lot fucking bigger, too.
[Sofie] Oh, we don't have time for this.
[Cody] We won't be going
into a house with dogs, love.
(wind whistling)
[Ray] We've been out here long enough.
We're taking this one.
(rhythmic instrumental music)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(soft upbeat jazz music)
[Mia] Will you help me?
I just want to finish this row, sweetie.
[Mia] Since when do you knit, anyway?
Knitting is proven to be very relaxing.
Ugh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know who I saw the other day?
That ginger kid you dated.
What was his name?
Uh, okay?
He looked good.
You still in contact you two?
Nope.
What happened to Aziz? He seemed funny.
(Mia sighs)
Where are you going with this, mum?
[Stella] What?
I haven't spoken to him in months, mum.
So how are things with Jamal?
What the shit? I knew it.
[Stella] I'm just asking.
Everything's fine, mum.
So, with Jamal, is it getting serious?
Yeah.
Super, duper ultra serious, with bells on.
Stop asking.
I don't know. I...
I don't know whether Jamal
is the right choice for you.
You know I had a boyfriend like him.
(Mia sighs)
- No shit, mum.
- I know his type.
His type?
You need someone secure in your life.
Someone that you can rely on.
Like that ginger kid.
Well, the lights are
up. Are you guys ready?
He still wants to do this?
- Are you coming or what?
- I guess so.
Bet you're gonna hide
under the blankets again.
(Stella laughs)
Ah, future birthday boy,
can we make this quick?
[Eli] Oh, future loser. No.
Okay, you're taking
this way too seriously.
Oh, you're such a slob.
- Coming up, you guys.
You better get ready.
[Mia] Anyway, what presents
do you think you're gonna get?
Well, Uncle Ben always
gives the best presents.
Is that right, son? I guess
we won't bother next year.
No, no, you can try,
as long as I get a proper
present for my birthday
and Christmas, I'm happy.
All right.
Whatever, I'll start counting.
[Stella] Good luck.
(soft acoustic music)
[Joseph] Can't hear you counting!
One,
two,
three...
(tense music)
Four...
[Joseph] Still can't hear you!
Five, six,
seven,
eight,
nine,
10. (Chuckles) Ready or not, here I come.
(tense acoustic music)
(footsteps thudding)
[Sofie] Nice.
(light clicks)
Cody, we haven't checked upstairs yet.
Oh.
Oh, oops.
Well why don't you go check it out, man?
[Cody] Why haven't you, mate?
[Stella] What are you doing?
Changing position, like a pro.
I'm going downstairs.
Okay, um, are you taking
this a bit too seriously?
It's because I'm a very serious man.
- Hush your fuckin' mouth.
- Oh, fuck.
Where did...
Do you know what? Don't.
Uh, Ray?
[Joseph] Stella?
Yeah, find another place, you pro.
(Stella chuckles)
Don't freak out.
I'm serious.
There's someone in the house.
What? What do you mean?
[Joseph] They have Mia.
Call the police.
- I left my phone downstairs.
- Is she okay?
Yes, I think so.
I need to go down before
they realize anyone else is here.
No, we take a look them.
We'll fight them, too.
We need to do it together.
You know, we've been through enough shit
to last us a lifetime.
Let's try not to make things any worse.
And you, no more
bodies. You listenin' to me?
No more bodies.
[Joseph] Your mother and
I are gonna go downstairs
and get rid of them.
[Stella] You need to stay in here.
[Eli] Can I help?
[Joseph] You can help by staying in here
and remaining quiet.
(floorboard creaks)
Is there anyone else here?
Is there anyone else here?
That's just a precaution.
You play along, girlie,
and no one gets hurt,
do you understand me?
Sit down.
[Joseph] Mia.
In the kitchen.
(light clicks)
- Mia.
- Ah.
Come on in.
Come in.
Don't be shy.
Is there anyone else here?
Please. Just leave.
There's no money in the house.
(doors closing)
Come closer to me.
Come closer. You come closer to me.
(gun clicks)
Come here.
Nobody's gonna get hurt.
You have my word on it.
That was very eloquently put, Raymond.
How about you two fucking pussies
do what we say when we say it?
Or I'll take that lovely
little potato peeler
of yours over there
and I'll peel your
fucking irritating face off.
(gun cocks) (Stella whimpers)
(Sofie laughs)
Would you look at that, Raymond.
I forgot to load the fucker.
Cody, Cody, Cody.
There's no need for threats.
I'm sure they'll behave themselves.
How about we all go into the living room
like a happy family?
Ladies first.
Hurry up, we don't have
all whole bloody day.
Where are your shitty light switches?
Light switches.
(light clicks)
Oh, thank you. Come on, come on.
Make yourselves at home.
That's it, mi case is your
casa and all that. Lovely.
Great, well done.
(bullet thuds)
[Cody] Oops.
Cody, check upstairs, just in case.
Cody, I'm talking to you.
Check upstairs just in case.
- All right, all right,
don't get your pretty
little knickers in a twist.
Thinks he's fuckin' Morgan Freeman,
the gall of this bald prick.
Phones.
Phone.
[Mia] That's mine.
Do I look like give a
shit whose phone it is?
Put it in the bowl.
Put it in the bowl.
Well, where's your
phone then, if it's hers?
It's on the table.
- Your phone, where is it?
- In my bag.
- Well, where's your bag?
- Next to the table.
Oh for fuck, I've
just been there. (Sighs)
Two journeys.
I'll check the kitchen
for knives, just in case.
Yeah.
Shit bag as well.
(Sofie sighs)
Oh look, you've got a message.
"Looking forward to seeing
you at Pizza Express on Monday."
Ah, lovely. Lovely, exciting life you lead.
Ah, better calm down.
(soft tense music)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(tense dramatic music)
Where's the kid?
Kid?
What kid?
There's a little boy's
bedroom up there, isn't there?
Where's the little fella hiding?
He's staying the night
at his grandparents.
[Sofie] Why?
Tomorrow is his birthday.
So?
They can't make it to the party tomorrow,
so he's celebrating with them tonight.
Aw, lovely.
What's his name?
Kevin.
Hm.
Call for him.
Kevin. (Tense music)
Kevin? (Tense music continues)
(Stella gasps)
[Joseph] Leave her alone!
Would you mind doing me a
fuckin' favor, please, Joseph,
and shutting your mouth?
You call him properly.
Kevin!
Tell our little Kevin
we want to have a chat.
Kevin, come down.
I wanna talk to you.
[Ray] Stella, sit back down.
Hurry up.
(tense dramatic music)
[Sofie] Call his phone.
He's 11. He doesn't have a phone.
I don't believe you.
Unlock it.
Unlock it.
I better find no Kevin.
[Joseph] You see that
present on the table?
His phone.
Okay.
(box rattling)
(paper ripping)
(box thuds)
Check the garage for something
we can tie them up with.
I beg your pardon?
Check the garage for
something to tie them up with.
Why don't you do it your damn self?
Because I'm busy holding the gun.
Go.
Fine.
Yeah.
(clock ticking)
What do you want with us?
I want you to shut the fuck up.
I have money. I can get more.
Just please, leave us alone.
Happy?
Now shut up.
(Cody whistles) What?
[Cody] Where's my cut?
Jesus, you want a cut of this?
[Cody] That's very generous
of you. Thanks very much.
Greedy twat.
Have it.
(tense music) (clock ticking)
So what's up with you, hot sauce?
What's up with me what?
It's just this pair of
crusty munters are white.
And you, well, some sort
of caramel, aren't you?
Nothing gets by you,
does it, Miss Marple?
- Leave Britney alone.
- My name's not Britney.
What's your name?
Mia.
Mama Mia.
(Cody inhales) (Cody exhales)
What's your story then, Mia?
She's not my daughter.
Leave her alone.
Shut your fucking mouth, you cunt.
(Joseph gasps)
(Joseph coughing)
I'm sorry, pops.
Just sometimes you
really, he really winds me up.
- I know.
- You wind me up, mate.
I was talking to the lady.
Where are your fucking manners?
Bit early for this little
number, isn't it, tinsel tits?
Oh, fucking hell, put that back on, son.
Get that on there.
Jesus.
(Cody spits)
You cannot do anything
right, can you, Joseph?
Are you gonna be a problem for me, daddy?
No.
[Cody] Excellent answer, Josephine.
So Mia, this wonky eyed little snowflake
isn't your real daddy?
Yeah, I think we've established that.
All right, then. So
where's your real daddy?
Do you know who he is?
No.
Well I'm sorry to hear that, Mia.
Do you want me to
write you an autobiography
or are we good here? (Cody chuckles)
So how'd you come into all this, then?
Question is, is our little
Kevin an ethnic minority?
No, he's my son.
You married this toad,
even though she had a child?
Fuckin' hell, when'd you find out?
First date? Second?
I knew.
How long have you two been together?
22 years. (Tense music)
How old did you say you are again?
(Mia sighs)
Yes, you are.
Nah.
Nah.
You took her back, didn't you?
Even though she cheated on you
with some other fella
and got herself up the duff.
Jesus Christ.
Joseph. (Tense music)
I mean, I get it.
She's hot, right? I'd sling one up her.
But still, for me personally,
once a cheating bitch,
always a cheating bitch.
- No offense love.
- Stop talking to them.
That's none of our business.
Yes, if I've got to spend
any more fucking time
with these odd balls,
then I want to know what's going on here.
So, toad, you didn't
have the old (whistles)
Abortion, evidently, so I'm willing to bet
it was fairly serious, am I right?
Tell me.
- What do you want?
- Come on, Stella, love.
We're all friends here, isn't we?
Why did you get back
with that fuckin' hermit?
Mum doesn't look like a fucking hermit.
Mia.
Blackie found out
about the baby, didn't he?
So he ran a fuckin' mile
from this one. And you.
Hardly surprising.
So you, you went back to
the safe zone, didn't you?
Your bottom drawer is beginning
to make a lot more sense.
Fucking disgusting.
- That's enough.
- Interrupt me again, daddy,
and I'm really going to
enjoy fucking hurting you.
I couldn't.
All right, what happened?
(Cody sighs)
It's been a little bit tense in here,
I'm not gonna lie, Raymond.
But I found out pretty interesting stuff
about our happy little family.
[Ray] Why?
Are you sure you looked properly?
Find that hard to believe.
I don't care what
you find hard to believe.
You got any gaffer tape?
We don't have any.
[Cody] Where do you
keep the ropes, Stella?
We just have to watch them carefully.
(cell phone ringing)
Hey Boss, good news.
We have found a place to hide.
[The Boss] Where?
[Ray] 144 Apollo Hill.
[The Boss] You do remember what happened
to the last guy who tried to nick from me?
And his wife?
Well, let me tell you
something, for starters,
I would never pull anything off.
I'm too professional for that.
Number two, I have to
work with these amateurs,
remember that.
- Oh, will you bloody shut up?
Have you got the money?
Yeah.
[The Boss] So it wasn't a total cock up.
Anyway, your driver
will pick you up at six.
- Let me talk to him.
- Sophie, not now.
Will you just cut, just
go on, do something else.
Fuck off.
Boss, what are we
going to do the whole night?
[The Boss] I don't care. Don't leave.
Well, Sof, I think we've got ourselves
a sleepover tonight.
Driver will pick us up in the morning.
Should we do it here then?
I beg your pardon?
We shoot them.
Oh, and if you were
thinking more like die bitch,
because I love that, I love that shit.
Listen to me, all right?
- He made it very, very clear.
- Yeah?
That none of these people
were to be harmed, okay?
It's that's simple.
But they know what we look like.
I don't give a shit.
He says that they were not
supposed to be harmed, yeah?
I really doubt that, but okay.
I don't care what you doubt.
You follow my order, girlie,
and you can't go wrong. Yeah?
(clock ticking)
That dick Ray has
been chatting shit about us
to our boss telling him we're
amateurs and unprofessional.
He's the fuck unprofessional.
Listen up.
I am Ray.
This is Sophie and this is Cody.
We're staying the night.
If no one tries anything stupid,
I promise you, no one gets hurt.
And if you do,
I'll open your neck, like a
can of fucking beans, huh?
But Joseph, it doesn't
have to come to that.
But if it's you or if it's us,
don't make the mistake of
thinking that I would even blink
before ending every single one of you.
But I don't want to
do that. Really, I don't.
We'll leave in the morning,
forget any of this ever happened.
And if you're good and I
mean really, really good,
we may even leave you
some money, how about that?
You'll be paying for
that, then, you doozy prick.
[Sofie] Yeah.
If anyone tries to run,
I swear to God, I'll end everyone else.
Take my car.
I won't report it missing. Please, take it.
Thanks but we know what we're doing.
One of you's little bitches
is bound to call the cops
the moment we leave.
Yeah, you are.
So no, we won't be taking
your piece of shit Nissan Micra.
What you run thing on, anyway? Estrogen?
(Sofie laughs)
You'd never pay for any fucking fuel again,
would you, Josephine?
(doorbell chimes)
Who the fuck is that?
[Sofie] Police.
(door bell chiming)
It's all right.
No.
Unfortunately for you,
it's not the police. It's Ben.
He was in the SAS.
He could skin you all alive with a spoon.
(door bell chimes)
That might be hard
for him, might it, darlin',
with a fuckin' bullet in his throat.
(Mia scoffs)
You're all fucked.
You know if you were to leave now,
you could still make the back door.
Can't we just ignore him?
Ha, yeah, good luck with that.
(Sofie laughs sarcastically)
Well let's just say hello then.
[Joseph] No.
I beg your pardon?
(door bell chimes)
He's got nothing to do with this.
Now you listen and
you listen good, Joseph.
Get rid of him.
(doorbell chiming)
If he rings that doorbell
one more fucking time, I swear.
Raymond, please. May
I just shoot the fucker?
I can get rid of him.
What are you going to say?
I have no idea.
Well, that's useful.
Okay, I have a plan.
And as regards to me, I'm
gonna go around the back
and clear the front, just in case.
You like going 'round back,
don't you, you dirty old bastard?
Ugh, yuck.
Oh look, Stella's eyes
lit up, you kinky bugger.
Joseph, I'll be watching you.
Try something, try anything
and I will murder him
right in front of you.
No pressure, pops.
Okay, let's do this.
Oh, and Cody, for the love of God, relax.
(tense music)
Joey. (Laughs)
Sorry I'm late. I got
stuck in that roadblock.
Do you know what's going on?
I totally forgot to call you.
[Ben] Call me?
Why?
It's Mia. She's really sick.
Like she's throwing up. It's disgusting.
It's probably not the best
night for a family dinner.
Joey, do you really want
to put the tree up without me, hm?
I didn't think so.
[Joseph] It's probably
contagious. You better stay away.
We'll do this another night... Poppycock.
[Joseph] Yeah?
[Ben] Nonsense.
[Joseph] Ben.
Ben.
Ben, wait.
[Ben] Hey, everybody.
[Joseph] Please, don't get too close.
[Ben] Hey Mimi, what's this I hear
about you throwing up all over my brother?
Not as funny as it might sound.
[Ben] What's wrong?
Well this beautiful young lady
clearly has a viral infection.
Fucking nasty thing it is.
What you non-medically
trained folk might call the flu.
(Ben laughs)
And you are?
Well, I'm the neighbor, Cody.
Doctor Cody.
Right, then, Mimi, plenty
of rest and lots of fluids,
'cause we gotta flush
that shit out of there.
And remember, an apple a
day keeps the doctors away.
Oops, shit.
Stella, what's with
Is this the present for Kevin?
Yes. Yeah, for Kevin. (Laughs)
For the party tomorrow.
I can tell this is not the best time.
Catch up later in the week, huh?
Get better soon, kid.
[Sofie] I call bullshit.
What the fuck? I was brilliant, Sof.
You weren't.
(tense dramatic music)
(clock ticking)
You got any drinks?
[Joseph] I can make us some coffee.
I wasn't asking for coffee, was I?
I was asking for drinks.
Something strong.
I have whiskey.
Sold.
Go on, then, fuck off.
You shouldn't be drinking, Cody.
We've got a driver, haven't we?
She's right.
Who the fuck put a coin in your slot?
You've gotta be the most
fucking unlikable person
I've ever met.
- I'm having a glass, too.
- No you're not.
Do you know what
Stockholm syndrome is, Joseph?
It's a condition in which hostages feel
a psychological bond with their captors.
I was being rhetorical, mate.
Right. I'll grab the whiskey.
Does anyone want a glass?
- No.
- I'll have one.
Me, too.
[Joseph] Right.
You're a very difficult person to like,
aren't you, Stella?
(glasses clinking)
[Ray] Mm, fine stuff, squire.
Thank you.
Ben?
Cheers.
(clock ticking)
It's good, isn't it?
(cup thuds)
(clock ticking)
I need to go to the toilet.
[Sofie] Where is it?
Upstairs.
[Cody] I'll supervise her.
Why you?
Because I fucking said so, that's why.
So you just shut the fuck up.
Cody, just let the girls do it, aye?
No.
I said I'll take her
and take her I shall.
Are you serious?
[Cody] Jesus Christ. Not you, too.
This fuckin' family.
Come on, Mimi.
Ray, please.
Joseph, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.
One or two?
[Mia] One.
Boring.
Your man needs a glass.
And while you're at it, bring us a bottle.
Door stays open, cherub.
We'll leave in the morning.
No one will get hurt.
You have my word.
Do you need a little hand in there, Mimi?
[Mia] No, I'm all right. Thanks.
Frigid.
You'll be nice and
friendly now, Uncle Ben,
and I'll do my best... We'll.
I'll do my best to make sure Cody
doesn't do anything weird.
- Is that right?
- That is right.
- I've known people like you.
- Oh, I bet you have.
Bystanders.
Well here's a little story for you.
[Ray] Okay.
Back when I was in the forces in Kabul,
one of my fellow serviceman
took it upon himself
to interrogate a family of five.
It started as an interrogation
and ended with him
executing them one by one.
We all knew it was just a matter of time
before he did something stupid like that.
My commanding officer
refused to see the signs,
making him just as responsible in my eyes.
What do you think, Ray?
Hm, what do I think?
What do I think, Uncle Ben?
(Ray clapping)
You spit a good yarn, don't you?
I'm advising you, don't
make the same mistake.
Oh, I won't.
(cup thuds)
(tense music)
So, what are you all
doing here then, aye?
The less you know the better.
Oh. (Laughs)
You majorly fucked
something up, didn't you?
Is that Sofie, huh?
She looks like a right amateur.
[Ray] You stop the
damn talking, will you?
Sure.
Okay.
But you know they're gonna put you away
for a long time for this.
If it was me, it'd be
a lot quicker, though.
Oh, yeah? What the
fuck would that be then?
I would line you all up against the wall.
Be done away with you.
What kind of stupid name is Cody, anyway?
Did you make that one up yourself?
Coming from you,
some nasty, little
rosy cheeked ginger cardigan
fucking wearing warlock?
Precious it is, darling. Precious.
Where'd you pick that
little thing up, Benny?
Off the back of some dead
bloke in a care home, I'd expect.
(Sofie chuckles)
I take it back, Raymond.
I've seen geezers close to death
that wouldn't have been seen
wearing that fucking thing.
You mug. Have you ever
heard of a beige Ferrari?
Of course you fuckin' haven't.
The Italians probably banned the color.
A red dress, yeah, that's
a thing. A red hat, even.
Not fucking beige, just
like your personality, mate.
Beige.
Fuckin' Ronald Wesley cock sucking prick.
You can tell the two of you's are brothers.
The personality of a couple
of fuckin' boiled potatoes.
Stella's got more about her
than the two of you's put together,
and she's one unbearable
fucking cunt at best.
You can hang your head down, love,
but it ain't gonna change.
Fucking irritating swine.
Is that it? Are you done?
- Is it my turn?
- Easy now, big man.
Be careful.
He'll bite your dick
off if you're not good.
(teeth chomping)
Damn straight.
This little terrier? (Scoffs)
Joseph.
Are we expecting any other
surprise visitors this evening?
'Cause I'll pre-fuckin'
warn you, I won't be happy.
(cell phone ringing)
(Ben exhales)
Fucking beige.
[The Boss] How are things?
Well, the uncle's a bit confrontational,
but nothing to worry about.
[The Boss] Hang on. What uncle?
The uncle from the family in the house.
[The Boss] What, what,
what? The family uncle?
What are you on about?
You're not supposed to be
holding a bloody party, Ray.
What are you, some kind of retard?
(tense music)
What did he say?
They're sending Mike.
It's fine.
We got the money.
Don't worry about it.
(tense music continues)
(clock ticking)
Well this is fucking boring, isn't it?
You got any board games
or cards or something?
It's been fucking years since
I played cards with granny.
Lovely little lady, she was. Heart of gold.
My guardian angel, she was.
Died long before her time,
Ray. Long before her time.
It was a long and horrible death, Joseph.
Long and horrible. Wouldn't
wish it upon my worst enemy.
In the end, she would just...
(clears throat) Shit herself.
Spend hours just shitting herself.
In the end she would
just sit there in her shit.
She would sleep in her shit,
eat in her shit,
shit in her shit.
(clock ticking)
She was a very religious woman, Ray.
She was a God-fearing woman.
Never missed a Sunday.
In the last year, we took
her to midnight mass.
She shit herself during the
chorus of "Joy to the World."
I'll always remember
that final look in her eyes,
'cause she died with her eyes open.
Fuckin' knew she was looking at me
directly in my fucking eyes
and she was looking at me
as if to say, "I know this is it."
This is how I'm gonna die.
"I'm gonna die covered in my own shit."
Fuckin' tragedy.
Am I talking to my fucking self?
We could... What not now, Joseph?
I think we have a chess
board around here somewhere.
Board games are more suited for kids.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I'll take her cheek 'cause
she's cute and curvaceous,
but not from you.
I'll see you in my fucking nightmares
for years to fucking come.
And by the way, chess is a two-player game,
and in case you hadn't realized,
there's more than fucking two of us here.
Oh, calm down, dickhead.
I've got some ball games upstairs.
Mia.
Yeah. Yeah, that's good idea.
Let's go upstairs and play a game.
I've got a little game we
can play in mind of my own.
(Cody exhales)
(cup thuds)
Come on, Mimi.
I'll go with you.
- Sit down.
- It's fine.
See, it's okay.
You're a very unlikable person, aren't you?
[Joseph] I could show you.
I could show you where they are.
[Mia] I'm actually looking forward
to playing a little game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me, too.
(tense music)
Oi.
What's all that about downstairs?
What, you like me, love?
What are you calling
me a dickhead for, aye?
Well, you weren't exactly
being a gentleman, so.
Yeah, look, I know. I'm sorry about that.
It's been a long day, ain't it?
Look, we'll be gone in a couple of hours,
just kind of hoping you and I
might get to know each
other a little bit better first,
- if you know what I mean?
- Mm-hm.
Mm, I mean, you know, if you leave now,
we might be able to at some point.
Yeah, you know that's not possible, Mimi.
Where are these fucking games, anyway?
You haven't brought me
up here for no reason?
[Mia] No. (Chuckles)
You don't waste any time do you, Mimi?
(Mia laughs)
[Mia] So you know that Sofie,
why do you let her boss you around?
Do you fancy her or something?
[Cody] Mimi, I am a professional.
What are you trying to insinuate?
No, I just, I'm trying to insinuate
that you should take your clothes off now.
[Mia] Now you're fucking talking.
(Mia chuckles)
Are you getting your kit off as well, Mimi?
Yeah, yeah, just uh...
Come on, take it off.
[Ray] Cody, get down here!
(Cody sighs)
[Cody] I'm sorry about
this, Mimi. Fucking cock block.
(Mia chuckles)
Yeah, why don't you just
put your clothes back on
and we'll do this another time.
Ray, you're a fucking cock block.
Oh, fucking hell.
What is this?
[Mia] Yeah, this is fun.
(clock ticking)
Oh, come on. Come and join in.
- It'll be fun.
- No, I'm a professional.
Got a busy evening staring out the window
ahead of you, have you?
[Cody] Yeah.
Listen, Petal, give me
that attitude one more time
and I'll make you regret it.
I, I haven't had a chance
to tell you about my holiday, have I?
[Stella] Yeah. How was Switzerland?
Switzerland, Stella, by
contrast, was quite lovely.
Jerry and I had a wonderful time.
And...
How was Jerry?
Oh, Jerry loved the fondue.
And the chocolate. Mm.
Something else.
Joseph, I'd like
another bottle of whiskey.
[Sofie] I think you've had enough.
I've had enough when I
have said I've had enough.
Well, look at that.
What a stupid game.
Sore loser, eh?
Shut your mouth.
Oh, Raymundo, no need to be angry.
You have a lovely big
bag of money through there.
- That's true.
- Uncle Ben...
Go back to Switzerland.
It's about as boring as
your fucking beige cardigan.
"Boring."
Ray, are you sure you want
to keep playing this game, buddy?
Uncle Ben, I intend to win.
Only if I let you.
[Ray] Shut your mouth.
Can I at least finish telling
my story in the meantime?
(Ray sighs)
If you must.
One of the fascinating
things about Switzerland
is the Swiss army knife.
Almost everybody has one,
certainly every household.
Even the astronauts take one up into space.
But you know what they're really proud of?
MacGyver.
[Mia] Who's that?
It was a show in the
80's, '85 to be precise,
made by the incredible director Stephen...
It certainly was, Joseph. Yes.
[Mia] I win.
Well done, Mia.
Anyway, he was a guy
who had to construct things
out of everyday household objects.
Bombs and all kinds
of contraptions, and he
Wait, so they made a
show about terrorists?
No, Mia, not exactly.
I mean, he was the hero of the piece.
I can't actually remember
what his day job was, but he
He was a secret agent
and former bomb technician.
Yes, yes, maybe he
was. Thank you, Joseph.
Maybe he was.
But the point is, he always
had to construct something
in order to escape and he used, Joseph?
A Swiss army knife.
(clock ticking)
What a story.
(dice thuds)
Like I said, sore loser, mate.
(cell phone buzzing)
Who the fuck is Jamal?
Come on, Stella. We've been
on this roller coaster already.
Fuckin' hell, you must be
like a sausage down a corridor down there.
You've gotta be kiddin' me.
I bet you've both had a go
on the poor fellow, ain't ya?
Filthy, the pair of ya.
(cell phone buzzes)
You've gotta be kidding me.
Mimi, you come with me.
You just fucking sit down.
I do not need another excuse to shoot you.
I hope you are not used
and abused like your mother.
Mimi, I am very upset with you.
Why? What have I done now?
We'll talk about that later.
Now go and fucking get rid of him.
Mimi, it's crucial he
doesn't come back, Mimi.
If I don't buy it, I'll just
fuckin' shoot him anyway.
No, I'll make him leave.
Yes, you fucking will.
Now go on and fuck off. Open the door.
Jamal, hi.
I'm sorry, I actually forgot
about our plans tonight.
I'm really tired, so.
Oh, that's cool. We can,
we can just, you know
No, look, I didn't answer
your messages for a reason.
Can't you take a hint?
What you even doing here?
What? What do you mean?
Ugh, I just, I can't do this anymore.
You can't do, you can't do what?
Us, I can't, I don't want this anymore.
- Why?
- I just
[Jamal] Where is this coming from?
I don't have the same
feelings I had before
and to be honest, I think
my mum was right when she,
you know, you're not very funny.
I mean, okay.
I guess I'll give you this and
No, he doesn't want
your stupid fucking present.
Just go.
Come on. Can we just, can
we just go in and talk about it?
No, we can't.
Look, I've got a new boyfriend actually,
and I'm in love with him, so.
Who?
Oh my God. It doesn't matter who.
He doesn't have a small
dick, actually, and you know,
I'm tired of pretending
to be happy with you
and faking orgasms
so just, just leave, okay?
But I really hope that
we can still be friends.
(Jamal sobbing)
[Cody] I told you to get rid of him,
not crush his soul into fucking oblivion.
Fuck off.
(Mia sniffles)
That was fucking brilliant.
(clock ticking)
(cell phone ringing)
I'm not murdering these
people. It's under control.
[The Boss] I thought
you could handle this.
Maybe I should talk to Sofie.
No, don't talk to that girl.
She's a bossy little bitch.
[The Boss] Think about
your wife, your daughter.
Right, Boss, I respect you to the max,
but don't threaten my family.
[The Boss] I think I just
did. Do what needs to be done.
(clock ticking)
(cell phone buzzing)
[Sofie] It's Jerry.
He worries.
A lot.
I was supposed to be home hours ago.
Look, why don't you
just let me call him, hm?
You're not calling anyone.
He might come over here, check up on me.
It's the kind of thing he would do,
and I think we can all agree
the last thing any of us want
is another member of
my family in this house.
[Cody] What if he gives
him some sort of sign?
He won't, because if he does,
I will shoot his niece
right in the kneecaps.
Sit down.
(cell phone buzzing)
Okay.
Oh.
I've got it.
We'll send him a text.
You know what, Sof?
That's fucking brilliant.
Yeah.
Send it from the other phone.
Yeah, clever.
What should we write?
Unlock it.
Today.
He's had too much to drink
and he's gonna sleep it off on the couch
because he's a lightweight. (Ben laughs)
Pair of geniuses.
[Cody] Yeah, that'll work.
You got it?
Quick. Give it to me.
Oi, what are you chatting?
Nothing, sweetheart. (Chuckles)
[Sofie] Doesn't sound like nothing.
Listen, cupcake. You
really need to take a chill pill.
Do not call me cupcake, you dumb fuck.
Why don't you go get the boss man, huh?
We've got man things to talk about.
[Sofie] Sit the fuck down.
[Cody] Sit down or we'll leave
your nuts on the carpet, son.
[Ray] What the hell is going up in here?
[Sofie] I caught them whispering.
You caught them whispering? So?
[Sofie] Well they're
not allowed to do that.
They're not allowed?
Sofie, in case you've
forgotten, we have guns.
They can chitchat as much
as they want. We're in charge.
I'm in charge. '
You've been drinking and
playing games all night.
[Cody] Is Jerry happy?
Jerry? Who?
What, what happened?
Ugh, we had a problem
and we solved it perfectly well
without your interference.
You've been way too soft on these Muppets.
Sofie, lower the gun.
All you do is chat shit all day.
We've got chicken run here
planning the great escape
and you've got no bloody idea.
You're an idiot. (Ray sighs)
Look Sofie, they didn't plan shit.
Just put the gun down.
- You're not the boss here.
- And neither are you.
[Cody] Neither of you are's, actually.
Look, we'll separate the family.
We'll put the parents in the kitchen.
Shut up, or you'll be the first to go.
[Cody] For fuck's sake,
sense the room, Stella.
Oh, Sofie, put the gun down.
Don't you dare tell me what to do.
We have had an eventful evening.
You're tired.
I'm not.
Well I am. Lower your gun.
Stop ordering me a around.
(hit thuds) (Sofie grunts)
(gun thuds)
You fucker!
Now, this is a one way conversation.
I'm in charge because
you are too incompetent.
Don't look at me like that.
There's no need for that.
I had to hit you. You
weren't thinking straight.
You and I are on the same
team, don't you forget it.
You two, go with her.
What are you slapping
everyone for, eh, Ray?
I'm going for a smoke.
Move.
Move!
I don't wanna hear a single word from you.
Dickhead.
Have you got any food in this house?
Where's your fridge?
Oh.
Have you got any actual food?
In the oven.
Huh.
(door thuds)
(animals vocalizing)
What the fuck is this shit?
Where are your bowls?
Sorry?
Are you as stupid as you look?
I asked where the bowls are.
Cupboard on the left.
[Sofie] I'll put you in
the cupboard on the left.
Stupid...
(bowl thuds)
(microwave door closes)
(buttons beeping)
(flesh squelching) (Sofie screaming)
Ray!
Ray!
Ray, Ray!
Ray!
[Cody] What's going on here?
(Sofie sobbing)
(gun cocks)
(microwave beeps) (gun fires)
(Sofie sobbing)
Aye, get back!
(Sofie sobbing)
Go on!
Go on, get back!
Cody!
Cody!
Cody.
- Cody!
- Get Ray.
[Ray] Go.
[Cody] Sit your ass down.
Shit.
(Sofie sobbing)
Shut your mouth.
(Sofie yells)
I'm sorry. (Knife shucking)
Cody.
Get her gun.
(Cody coughs)
[Cody] Oh fucking hell.
You gave them the knife.
Sit down.
Sit down!
I'm warning you, uncle. Sit down.
Now when I said don't try anything stupid,
that is exactly what I meant.
Now because of your fuckeries,
my partner and her
husband are now dead now.
Now Uncle Ben, I warn you,
I don't want any more bodies
or I swear to God, your niece
gets it in the fucking neck.
You understand me?
In the neck.
All right, all right, now
you're understanding
where I'm coming from.
(Ray sighs)
I'm going for a cigarette.
(clock ticking)
(Cody tsking)
Get in your room and stay in.
(Ray sighs)
(soft tense acoustic music)
Look, I need to think.
[Cody] We're fucking
fucked if you don't clean up,
so think about that.
[Ray] I'm completely innocent.
Yeah, yeah, I know it is a tragedy.
Better than us, yeah?
You know what we have to do, Ray Ray.
The father's dead.
No money in the world is
gonna keep 'em quiet now
and I wouldn't fucking
give it to 'em anyway.
I need to think.
We are the baddies.
You gotta start fucking acting like it,
otherwise you are gonna
leave one big old mess in there.
I am not a killer.
That's fucking rich.
Have you seen the state of Sofie in there?
Aye. Aye, aye, aye,
aye, that was a mercy kill.
Well, that was very merciful of you.
Would you have taken her to the hospital?
No, I probably would not have mate.
But doing what you did to her in there,
that was a, that was
a different thing, mate.
She'd be screaming all night.
How about we get rid of Uncle fucking Ben
or whatever his stupid name is
and you can get rid
of that irritating slag.
In fact, I'll do it.
I'll get rid of that
irritating slag of a mother
and then I'll find something
to occupy Mia's time.
Cody, we're not taking any hostages.
I'll come up with a solution.
Try not to kill anybody
while I'm gone, aye?
(soft tense acoustic music)
Fucking cock block.
(Cody exhales)
(soft tense acoustic music continues)
He put her down like an animal.
You think it'd be any
different if it was you?
Not bad.
Mia. (Burps)
Should we go outside, lovey?
Move.
(tense acoustic music)
What?
Seeing as we'll be
leaving soon, won't we,
well we won't see each other again.
I could ask Ray to, you
know, stay in the living room
and well we could go upstairs, couldn't we?
(Mia scoffs)
You really are a psychotic
fucking moron, aren't you?
Is this some kind of joke or
are you actually that stupid?
(Mia sighs)
You're just like your lying,
piece of shit mother, aren't you?
What was all that about upstairs?
Let go.
You're hurting me.
- Are you gonna play nicely?
(Mia gasps)
(Mia breathing heavily)
Oi, wait.
Wait. (Slap thuds)
You murdered my dad.
Go fuck yourself.
Stepdad.
(tense acoustic music continues)
You are pathetic.
[Cody] You are ginger.
Shit.
Oi! Hey, stop!
Come here.
Come here. Stop.
(tense acoustic music continues)
(Ray murmuring)
[Cody] You said he was
at his fucking grandparents.
- No.
- You fucking liar.
(Stella yells)
Cody, there's no need... Fuck off.
[Ben] Cody, will you just relax?
Just take a seat and
have a drink or something.
Now move in there and fuck off.
You don't need to do this. (Stella yells)
Just sit down, we can all have a drink.
Please, Cody. Cody.
Mummy!
[Stella] Eli!
Mummy!
- Merry Christmas.
- Eli
(gunshot fires)
(tense acoustic music)
[Ray] So what? You're
straight up executing people now?
[Cody] You know, why
don't you sit down, mate?
I'm just clearing the scene.
[Ray] You would've killed that kid
in order to clear the scene, wouldn't you?
[Cody] Don't have to like
it, but I'll do it if you can't.
[Ray] You do realize that kiddie killers
don't well in jail, don't you?
[Cody] Ray, we're fucked
if we don't sort this out.
(cell phone ringing)
We're not done. I promise.
We are not done.
Yeah?
[The Boss] Is it done?
No.
[The Boss] Ray, you're a wanker.
Put Sofie on the phone.
Sofie's...
Well, Boss, the truth is Sofie's dead.
[The Boss] Let me talk to Cody.
All right.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Yeah, the father attacked Sofie, didn't he?
She got wounded pretty badly.
She started screaming, we
couldn't take her to hospital,
so yeah, Ray split her throat
open with a Swiss army knife.
Saw the whole thing. Fucking disgusting.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Yeah, it's still under
control. I've got it, obviously.
Ray Ray disagrees.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Good.
Well, what did he say?
He said...
"Tell Ray to stop being such
a fucking pussy all his life."
These people were dead
the moment we walked in.
But we don't even know
what we're gonna do yet, do we?
Yeah, we do.
Boss has put me in charge.
Fuck the Boss.
No, Ray. Not fuck the Boss, fuck you.
All right, listen, this is
what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna take that lovely
little thing Mimi upstairs
whilst you sort out these other fuckers.
You're not doing it.
We're not doing this.
Move out of my way, grandpa.
Oh, fine.
Mimi, Ray says you gotta die.
(hit thuds)
(Ray grunts) (hit thuds)
(Ben grunts)
Don't move.
(hit thuds) (Cody grunts)
Don't move.
(Cody grunts)
[Cody] Oh, fuck.
Sit down.
Sit down!
You, grab that chair.
Bring it over here.
Now.
(clock ticking)
Mia, where's the gaffer tape?
Wow, fucking hell, Morpheus...
I don't think we have any.
You didn't see that coming, did ya?
I've never taken a
hostage before, you idiot.
- You're a fucking tool, mate.
- Shut up.
Both of you shut up.
Mia, give me the gun.
Tie him up.
Tie his hands behind the
chair. Hands behind the chair.
(clock ticking)
Good job you're doing down there, Mimi.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Turn around.
Hands behind your back.
Tie his hands, Mimi.
[Mia] We need one for his legs.
No. This one is coming with me.
[Mia] So, should we call the police?
Not yet.
A couple of months in prison
is not enough for these two.
After what they've done,
we need to give them a
taste of their own medicine.
[Mia] You sure about that?
Mimi, don't listen to this yeti
Shut up.
Fucking hell, all right.
Half an hour. Half an
hour to give 'em justice.
And we'll take Eli and
we'll get out of here.
When this Mike turns up,
then we'll call the police.
Eli.
When the police come, you have to tell them
you stayed in your room all night.
You didn't see any of this.
You never met this pair,
otherwise we are all in big trouble.
[Ray] That won't work, Uncle
You shut your hole.
Eli, you've been such
a brave soldier so far.
You just need to stay strong
for a little bit longer, yeah?
Need to show this pair
that they can't treat
good people like this.
Mimi.
What are you doing this for, hm?
You and your brother?
(hit thuds)
(Cody groans)
Simmer down, you big ginger freak, that
[Mia] He's got a knife.
You fucking grass.
It's the other pocket, Einstein.
Ah, fuck.
Now, in all fairness, Uncle
Ben, that one belonged to Sofie.
You keep that pointed at this one.
I don't want either of you
to see what's gonna happen to this one.
I'll be back soon enough.
You, kitchen.
Mia, look...
I really, really...
Need the toilet.
So are you gonna untie me?
Or are we gonna do it like mother?
(hit thuds) (chair scrapes)
Hands behind the chair.
Sit down.
If you're gonna execute me, go ahead.
Today you made two orphans.
You little fucking whore.
I'm gonna kill you
and the last thing you
see is gonna be my face.
You understand? Now fuck off.
It wasn't my fault. I
tried to save your family.
Look at him. (Ray panting)
Look at him!
Go upstairs.
(Cody grunts)
Then watch your cartoon,
put your headphones on
and whatever you hear,
you do not turn around,
do you understand?
You promise?
(Mia sighs)
[Ray] Ben, please. Please, Ben.
Ben, Ben.
I told you what would happen.
I told you what I did it Kabul
and you still didn't listen,
and look, here we are now.
Look, man, you gave Joseph the knife.
Oh, don't you dare try and
blame anyone but yourself.
I'm beginning to get
very impatient, Mimi.
So I'm going to give
you a chance to untie me
and let me fucking go.
If you don't,
I'm going to smash your fucking head in
until you bleed out, do you understand?
Let me fucking go!
[Ray] You're gonna be
a killer now, are you, Ben?
(Ray panting)
I always have been.
(Ray panting)
Ben, please.
Please, Ben.
Look, think about Jerry.
Look, what about the
child in the other room?
The money.
The money. I will split the money.
Think about your
(hit thuds) (Ben grunts)
Mimi, I'm sorry, look.
It's been a long day
and I'm letting my temper
get the better of me.
Look, let me go and
forget any of this happened.
Mimi, let me go.
You destroyed my entire family
and you still wanted to take me upstairs,
you sick little fuck.
Ben.
Ben, Ben, don't do this, please.
Ben.
Fucking go, you useless fucking orphan.
(flesh squelching) (Cody grunts)
[Ray] Don't, you're not a killer, Ben.
Ben.
I'm not so fine now, am I, Ray?
(tense dramatic music)
[Eli] Don't.
I told you not to turn around.
Mia, please.
He murdered mum and dad.
[Eli] Please don't.
Get out.
Leave, now.
(gun clicks)
(Ray and Ben grunting in the distance)
(tense dramatic music)
(gun thuds)
(gentle acoustic music)
You stay here.
I'm gonna go check on Uncle Ben, okay?
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(gun fires)
[Eli] No.
(Eli sobbing)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
I'm sorry, kid.
(bells jingling)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(cell phone ringing)
Yeah?
[The Boss] Cody?
It's Ray.
Cody didn't make it.
[The Boss] How's the family?
(Ray sighs)
[Ray] It's handled.
Go back inside and finish the job.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I can't pick you up
if there are witnesses.
Look, I will not murder a child.
May have seen you.
So go back inside and
finish what you started.
It's simple, right?
It's you or the kid.
But hurry up.
I'm nearly there.
(gentle acoustic music)
[Ray] Kid.
(gunshot fires) (Ray grunts)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(car approaching)
(Ray groaning)
(car door opens)
(tense acoustic music)
You fucked up, mate.
[Ray] No.
Don't.
Don't touch the shoes.
(tense acoustic music continues)
See you, mate.
(Ray breathing unevenly)
(car starts up)
(gentle acoustic music)
(blues rock music)
Waiting on a hurricane
Waiting on a star to fall
Waiting on a tidal wave
Waiting on a angel's call
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Walking on these streets so cold
Walking on these streets of shame
Walking on these streets of blood
Walking on these streets of game
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Whoa whoa oh oh
When the writing's on the wall
Doesn't mean you have it all
There are reasons you can't find
For the lies you left behind
Tears, I'll let them ring aloud
Like a singer in the crowd
You can run but never hide
From a stranger in the night
From a stranger in the night
(rock music)
When the writing's on the wall
Doesn't mean you have it all
You could run but never hide
From a stranger in the night
From a stranger in the night
(rock music continues)
(Cody grunts)
Oh.
Jesus Christ.
(Cody groans)
(Cody sniffs)
(Cody sighs)
Just like granny.
(Cody laughing)
(gun cocks)
(upbeat pop rock music)
(saxophone music) (soft acoustic music)
[The Boss] Well, they were
all a bunch of tossers, anyway.
(tense dramatic music)
[The Boss] Ah, bloody hell.
Hey, sweetheart, do you
know what we were saying?
They've buggered it up already.
It was supposed to be a simple little job.
I mean Christ knows
what they're gonna do next.
(siren wailing in the distance)
[Cody] It's fucking freezing out here.
That was a good shot back there.
- That last guy's safe.
- Oh, cheers.
[Cody] Smashing stuff, girl.
And it did get Peter killed, but still.
[Sofie] Wait, what?
You think he's dead?
[Cody] Frankly, my dear.
Well, like he can give a fuck.
[Sofie] Hey, what about this one?
[Cody] Fuck off. We are not
going into a house with dogs.
- Are you fucking serious?
- Well it could be
a lovely little fuckin' cockle
doodle poo, couldn't it?
But the trouble is, love,
it could be a lot fucking bigger, too.
[Sofie] Oh, we don't have time for this.
[Cody] We won't be going
into a house with dogs, love.
(wind whistling)
[Ray] We've been out here long enough.
We're taking this one.
(rhythmic instrumental music)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(rhythmic instrumental music continues)
(soft upbeat jazz music)
[Mia] Will you help me?
I just want to finish this row, sweetie.
[Mia] Since when do you knit, anyway?
Knitting is proven to be very relaxing.
Ugh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know who I saw the other day?
That ginger kid you dated.
What was his name?
Uh, okay?
He looked good.
You still in contact you two?
Nope.
What happened to Aziz? He seemed funny.
(Mia sighs)
Where are you going with this, mum?
[Stella] What?
I haven't spoken to him in months, mum.
So how are things with Jamal?
What the shit? I knew it.
[Stella] I'm just asking.
Everything's fine, mum.
So, with Jamal, is it getting serious?
Yeah.
Super, duper ultra serious, with bells on.
Stop asking.
I don't know. I...
I don't know whether Jamal
is the right choice for you.
You know I had a boyfriend like him.
(Mia sighs)
- No shit, mum.
- I know his type.
His type?
You need someone secure in your life.
Someone that you can rely on.
Like that ginger kid.
Well, the lights are
up. Are you guys ready?
He still wants to do this?
- Are you coming or what?
- I guess so.
Bet you're gonna hide
under the blankets again.
(Stella laughs)
Ah, future birthday boy,
can we make this quick?
[Eli] Oh, future loser. No.
Okay, you're taking
this way too seriously.
Oh, you're such a slob.
- Coming up, you guys.
You better get ready.
[Mia] Anyway, what presents
do you think you're gonna get?
Well, Uncle Ben always
gives the best presents.
Is that right, son? I guess
we won't bother next year.
No, no, you can try,
as long as I get a proper
present for my birthday
and Christmas, I'm happy.
All right.
Whatever, I'll start counting.
[Stella] Good luck.
(soft acoustic music)
[Joseph] Can't hear you counting!
One,
two,
three...
(tense music)
Four...
[Joseph] Still can't hear you!
Five, six,
seven,
eight,
nine,
10. (Chuckles) Ready or not, here I come.
(tense acoustic music)
(footsteps thudding)
[Sofie] Nice.
(light clicks)
Cody, we haven't checked upstairs yet.
Oh.
Oh, oops.
Well why don't you go check it out, man?
[Cody] Why haven't you, mate?
[Stella] What are you doing?
Changing position, like a pro.
I'm going downstairs.
Okay, um, are you taking
this a bit too seriously?
It's because I'm a very serious man.
- Hush your fuckin' mouth.
- Oh, fuck.
Where did...
Do you know what? Don't.
Uh, Ray?
[Joseph] Stella?
Yeah, find another place, you pro.
(Stella chuckles)
Don't freak out.
I'm serious.
There's someone in the house.
What? What do you mean?
[Joseph] They have Mia.
Call the police.
- I left my phone downstairs.
- Is she okay?
Yes, I think so.
I need to go down before
they realize anyone else is here.
No, we take a look them.
We'll fight them, too.
We need to do it together.
You know, we've been through enough shit
to last us a lifetime.
Let's try not to make things any worse.
And you, no more
bodies. You listenin' to me?
No more bodies.
[Joseph] Your mother and
I are gonna go downstairs
and get rid of them.
[Stella] You need to stay in here.
[Eli] Can I help?
[Joseph] You can help by staying in here
and remaining quiet.
(floorboard creaks)
Is there anyone else here?
Is there anyone else here?
That's just a precaution.
You play along, girlie,
and no one gets hurt,
do you understand me?
Sit down.
[Joseph] Mia.
In the kitchen.
(light clicks)
- Mia.
- Ah.
Come on in.
Come in.
Don't be shy.
Is there anyone else here?
Please. Just leave.
There's no money in the house.
(doors closing)
Come closer to me.
Come closer. You come closer to me.
(gun clicks)
Come here.
Nobody's gonna get hurt.
You have my word on it.
That was very eloquently put, Raymond.
How about you two fucking pussies
do what we say when we say it?
Or I'll take that lovely
little potato peeler
of yours over there
and I'll peel your
fucking irritating face off.
(gun cocks) (Stella whimpers)
(Sofie laughs)
Would you look at that, Raymond.
I forgot to load the fucker.
Cody, Cody, Cody.
There's no need for threats.
I'm sure they'll behave themselves.
How about we all go into the living room
like a happy family?
Ladies first.
Hurry up, we don't have
all whole bloody day.
Where are your shitty light switches?
Light switches.
(light clicks)
Oh, thank you. Come on, come on.
Make yourselves at home.
That's it, mi case is your
casa and all that. Lovely.
Great, well done.
(bullet thuds)
[Cody] Oops.
Cody, check upstairs, just in case.
Cody, I'm talking to you.
Check upstairs just in case.
- All right, all right,
don't get your pretty
little knickers in a twist.
Thinks he's fuckin' Morgan Freeman,
the gall of this bald prick.
Phones.
Phone.
[Mia] That's mine.
Do I look like give a
shit whose phone it is?
Put it in the bowl.
Put it in the bowl.
Well, where's your
phone then, if it's hers?
It's on the table.
- Your phone, where is it?
- In my bag.
- Well, where's your bag?
- Next to the table.
Oh for fuck, I've
just been there. (Sighs)
Two journeys.
I'll check the kitchen
for knives, just in case.
Yeah.
Shit bag as well.
(Sofie sighs)
Oh look, you've got a message.
"Looking forward to seeing
you at Pizza Express on Monday."
Ah, lovely. Lovely, exciting life you lead.
Ah, better calm down.
(soft tense music)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(tense dramatic music)
Where's the kid?
Kid?
What kid?
There's a little boy's
bedroom up there, isn't there?
Where's the little fella hiding?
He's staying the night
at his grandparents.
[Sofie] Why?
Tomorrow is his birthday.
So?
They can't make it to the party tomorrow,
so he's celebrating with them tonight.
Aw, lovely.
What's his name?
Kevin.
Hm.
Call for him.
Kevin. (Tense music)
Kevin? (Tense music continues)
(Stella gasps)
[Joseph] Leave her alone!
Would you mind doing me a
fuckin' favor, please, Joseph,
and shutting your mouth?
You call him properly.
Kevin!
Tell our little Kevin
we want to have a chat.
Kevin, come down.
I wanna talk to you.
[Ray] Stella, sit back down.
Hurry up.
(tense dramatic music)
[Sofie] Call his phone.
He's 11. He doesn't have a phone.
I don't believe you.
Unlock it.
Unlock it.
I better find no Kevin.
[Joseph] You see that
present on the table?
His phone.
Okay.
(box rattling)
(paper ripping)
(box thuds)
Check the garage for something
we can tie them up with.
I beg your pardon?
Check the garage for
something to tie them up with.
Why don't you do it your damn self?
Because I'm busy holding the gun.
Go.
Fine.
Yeah.
(clock ticking)
What do you want with us?
I want you to shut the fuck up.
I have money. I can get more.
Just please, leave us alone.
Happy?
Now shut up.
(Cody whistles) What?
[Cody] Where's my cut?
Jesus, you want a cut of this?
[Cody] That's very generous
of you. Thanks very much.
Greedy twat.
Have it.
(tense music) (clock ticking)
So what's up with you, hot sauce?
What's up with me what?
It's just this pair of
crusty munters are white.
And you, well, some sort
of caramel, aren't you?
Nothing gets by you,
does it, Miss Marple?
- Leave Britney alone.
- My name's not Britney.
What's your name?
Mia.
Mama Mia.
(Cody inhales) (Cody exhales)
What's your story then, Mia?
She's not my daughter.
Leave her alone.
Shut your fucking mouth, you cunt.
(Joseph gasps)
(Joseph coughing)
I'm sorry, pops.
Just sometimes you
really, he really winds me up.
- I know.
- You wind me up, mate.
I was talking to the lady.
Where are your fucking manners?
Bit early for this little
number, isn't it, tinsel tits?
Oh, fucking hell, put that back on, son.
Get that on there.
Jesus.
(Cody spits)
You cannot do anything
right, can you, Joseph?
Are you gonna be a problem for me, daddy?
No.
[Cody] Excellent answer, Josephine.
So Mia, this wonky eyed little snowflake
isn't your real daddy?
Yeah, I think we've established that.
All right, then. So
where's your real daddy?
Do you know who he is?
No.
Well I'm sorry to hear that, Mia.
Do you want me to
write you an autobiography
or are we good here? (Cody chuckles)
So how'd you come into all this, then?
Question is, is our little
Kevin an ethnic minority?
No, he's my son.
You married this toad,
even though she had a child?
Fuckin' hell, when'd you find out?
First date? Second?
I knew.
How long have you two been together?
22 years. (Tense music)
How old did you say you are again?
(Mia sighs)
Yes, you are.
Nah.
Nah.
You took her back, didn't you?
Even though she cheated on you
with some other fella
and got herself up the duff.
Jesus Christ.
Joseph. (Tense music)
I mean, I get it.
She's hot, right? I'd sling one up her.
But still, for me personally,
once a cheating bitch,
always a cheating bitch.
- No offense love.
- Stop talking to them.
That's none of our business.
Yes, if I've got to spend
any more fucking time
with these odd balls,
then I want to know what's going on here.
So, toad, you didn't
have the old (whistles)
Abortion, evidently, so I'm willing to bet
it was fairly serious, am I right?
Tell me.
- What do you want?
- Come on, Stella, love.
We're all friends here, isn't we?
Why did you get back
with that fuckin' hermit?
Mum doesn't look like a fucking hermit.
Mia.
Blackie found out
about the baby, didn't he?
So he ran a fuckin' mile
from this one. And you.
Hardly surprising.
So you, you went back to
the safe zone, didn't you?
Your bottom drawer is beginning
to make a lot more sense.
Fucking disgusting.
- That's enough.
- Interrupt me again, daddy,
and I'm really going to
enjoy fucking hurting you.
I couldn't.
All right, what happened?
(Cody sighs)
It's been a little bit tense in here,
I'm not gonna lie, Raymond.
But I found out pretty interesting stuff
about our happy little family.
[Ray] Why?
Are you sure you looked properly?
Find that hard to believe.
I don't care what
you find hard to believe.
You got any gaffer tape?
We don't have any.
[Cody] Where do you
keep the ropes, Stella?
We just have to watch them carefully.
(cell phone ringing)
Hey Boss, good news.
We have found a place to hide.
[The Boss] Where?
[Ray] 144 Apollo Hill.
[The Boss] You do remember what happened
to the last guy who tried to nick from me?
And his wife?
Well, let me tell you
something, for starters,
I would never pull anything off.
I'm too professional for that.
Number two, I have to
work with these amateurs,
remember that.
- Oh, will you bloody shut up?
Have you got the money?
Yeah.
[The Boss] So it wasn't a total cock up.
Anyway, your driver
will pick you up at six.
- Let me talk to him.
- Sophie, not now.
Will you just cut, just
go on, do something else.
Fuck off.
Boss, what are we
going to do the whole night?
[The Boss] I don't care. Don't leave.
Well, Sof, I think we've got ourselves
a sleepover tonight.
Driver will pick us up in the morning.
Should we do it here then?
I beg your pardon?
We shoot them.
Oh, and if you were
thinking more like die bitch,
because I love that, I love that shit.
Listen to me, all right?
- He made it very, very clear.
- Yeah?
That none of these people
were to be harmed, okay?
It's that's simple.
But they know what we look like.
I don't give a shit.
He says that they were not
supposed to be harmed, yeah?
I really doubt that, but okay.
I don't care what you doubt.
You follow my order, girlie,
and you can't go wrong. Yeah?
(clock ticking)
That dick Ray has
been chatting shit about us
to our boss telling him we're
amateurs and unprofessional.
He's the fuck unprofessional.
Listen up.
I am Ray.
This is Sophie and this is Cody.
We're staying the night.
If no one tries anything stupid,
I promise you, no one gets hurt.
And if you do,
I'll open your neck, like a
can of fucking beans, huh?
But Joseph, it doesn't
have to come to that.
But if it's you or if it's us,
don't make the mistake of
thinking that I would even blink
before ending every single one of you.
But I don't want to
do that. Really, I don't.
We'll leave in the morning,
forget any of this ever happened.
And if you're good and I
mean really, really good,
we may even leave you
some money, how about that?
You'll be paying for
that, then, you doozy prick.
[Sofie] Yeah.
If anyone tries to run,
I swear to God, I'll end everyone else.
Take my car.
I won't report it missing. Please, take it.
Thanks but we know what we're doing.
One of you's little bitches
is bound to call the cops
the moment we leave.
Yeah, you are.
So no, we won't be taking
your piece of shit Nissan Micra.
What you run thing on, anyway? Estrogen?
(Sofie laughs)
You'd never pay for any fucking fuel again,
would you, Josephine?
(doorbell chimes)
Who the fuck is that?
[Sofie] Police.
(door bell chiming)
It's all right.
No.
Unfortunately for you,
it's not the police. It's Ben.
He was in the SAS.
He could skin you all alive with a spoon.
(door bell chimes)
That might be hard
for him, might it, darlin',
with a fuckin' bullet in his throat.
(Mia scoffs)
You're all fucked.
You know if you were to leave now,
you could still make the back door.
Can't we just ignore him?
Ha, yeah, good luck with that.
(Sofie laughs sarcastically)
Well let's just say hello then.
[Joseph] No.
I beg your pardon?
(door bell chimes)
He's got nothing to do with this.
Now you listen and
you listen good, Joseph.
Get rid of him.
(doorbell chiming)
If he rings that doorbell
one more fucking time, I swear.
Raymond, please. May
I just shoot the fucker?
I can get rid of him.
What are you going to say?
I have no idea.
Well, that's useful.
Okay, I have a plan.
And as regards to me, I'm
gonna go around the back
and clear the front, just in case.
You like going 'round back,
don't you, you dirty old bastard?
Ugh, yuck.
Oh look, Stella's eyes
lit up, you kinky bugger.
Joseph, I'll be watching you.
Try something, try anything
and I will murder him
right in front of you.
No pressure, pops.
Okay, let's do this.
Oh, and Cody, for the love of God, relax.
(tense music)
Joey. (Laughs)
Sorry I'm late. I got
stuck in that roadblock.
Do you know what's going on?
I totally forgot to call you.
[Ben] Call me?
Why?
It's Mia. She's really sick.
Like she's throwing up. It's disgusting.
It's probably not the best
night for a family dinner.
Joey, do you really want
to put the tree up without me, hm?
I didn't think so.
[Joseph] It's probably
contagious. You better stay away.
We'll do this another night... Poppycock.
[Joseph] Yeah?
[Ben] Nonsense.
[Joseph] Ben.
Ben.
Ben, wait.
[Ben] Hey, everybody.
[Joseph] Please, don't get too close.
[Ben] Hey Mimi, what's this I hear
about you throwing up all over my brother?
Not as funny as it might sound.
[Ben] What's wrong?
Well this beautiful young lady
clearly has a viral infection.
Fucking nasty thing it is.
What you non-medically
trained folk might call the flu.
(Ben laughs)
And you are?
Well, I'm the neighbor, Cody.
Doctor Cody.
Right, then, Mimi, plenty
of rest and lots of fluids,
'cause we gotta flush
that shit out of there.
And remember, an apple a
day keeps the doctors away.
Oops, shit.
Stella, what's with
Is this the present for Kevin?
Yes. Yeah, for Kevin. (Laughs)
For the party tomorrow.
I can tell this is not the best time.
Catch up later in the week, huh?
Get better soon, kid.
[Sofie] I call bullshit.
What the fuck? I was brilliant, Sof.
You weren't.
(tense dramatic music)
(clock ticking)
You got any drinks?
[Joseph] I can make us some coffee.
I wasn't asking for coffee, was I?
I was asking for drinks.
Something strong.
I have whiskey.
Sold.
Go on, then, fuck off.
You shouldn't be drinking, Cody.
We've got a driver, haven't we?
She's right.
Who the fuck put a coin in your slot?
You've gotta be the most
fucking unlikable person
I've ever met.
- I'm having a glass, too.
- No you're not.
Do you know what
Stockholm syndrome is, Joseph?
It's a condition in which hostages feel
a psychological bond with their captors.
I was being rhetorical, mate.
Right. I'll grab the whiskey.
Does anyone want a glass?
- No.
- I'll have one.
Me, too.
[Joseph] Right.
You're a very difficult person to like,
aren't you, Stella?
(glasses clinking)
[Ray] Mm, fine stuff, squire.
Thank you.
Ben?
Cheers.
(clock ticking)
It's good, isn't it?
(cup thuds)
(clock ticking)
I need to go to the toilet.
[Sofie] Where is it?
Upstairs.
[Cody] I'll supervise her.
Why you?
Because I fucking said so, that's why.
So you just shut the fuck up.
Cody, just let the girls do it, aye?
No.
I said I'll take her
and take her I shall.
Are you serious?
[Cody] Jesus Christ. Not you, too.
This fuckin' family.
Come on, Mimi.
Ray, please.
Joseph, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.
One or two?
[Mia] One.
Boring.
Your man needs a glass.
And while you're at it, bring us a bottle.
Door stays open, cherub.
We'll leave in the morning.
No one will get hurt.
You have my word.
Do you need a little hand in there, Mimi?
[Mia] No, I'm all right. Thanks.
Frigid.
You'll be nice and
friendly now, Uncle Ben,
and I'll do my best... We'll.
I'll do my best to make sure Cody
doesn't do anything weird.
- Is that right?
- That is right.
- I've known people like you.
- Oh, I bet you have.
Bystanders.
Well here's a little story for you.
[Ray] Okay.
Back when I was in the forces in Kabul,
one of my fellow serviceman
took it upon himself
to interrogate a family of five.
It started as an interrogation
and ended with him
executing them one by one.
We all knew it was just a matter of time
before he did something stupid like that.
My commanding officer
refused to see the signs,
making him just as responsible in my eyes.
What do you think, Ray?
Hm, what do I think?
What do I think, Uncle Ben?
(Ray clapping)
You spit a good yarn, don't you?
I'm advising you, don't
make the same mistake.
Oh, I won't.
(cup thuds)
(tense music)
So, what are you all
doing here then, aye?
The less you know the better.
Oh. (Laughs)
You majorly fucked
something up, didn't you?
Is that Sofie, huh?
She looks like a right amateur.
[Ray] You stop the
damn talking, will you?
Sure.
Okay.
But you know they're gonna put you away
for a long time for this.
If it was me, it'd be
a lot quicker, though.
Oh, yeah? What the
fuck would that be then?
I would line you all up against the wall.
Be done away with you.
What kind of stupid name is Cody, anyway?
Did you make that one up yourself?
Coming from you,
some nasty, little
rosy cheeked ginger cardigan
fucking wearing warlock?
Precious it is, darling. Precious.
Where'd you pick that
little thing up, Benny?
Off the back of some dead
bloke in a care home, I'd expect.
(Sofie chuckles)
I take it back, Raymond.
I've seen geezers close to death
that wouldn't have been seen
wearing that fucking thing.
You mug. Have you ever
heard of a beige Ferrari?
Of course you fuckin' haven't.
The Italians probably banned the color.
A red dress, yeah, that's
a thing. A red hat, even.
Not fucking beige, just
like your personality, mate.
Beige.
Fuckin' Ronald Wesley cock sucking prick.
You can tell the two of you's are brothers.
The personality of a couple
of fuckin' boiled potatoes.
Stella's got more about her
than the two of you's put together,
and she's one unbearable
fucking cunt at best.
You can hang your head down, love,
but it ain't gonna change.
Fucking irritating swine.
Is that it? Are you done?
- Is it my turn?
- Easy now, big man.
Be careful.
He'll bite your dick
off if you're not good.
(teeth chomping)
Damn straight.
This little terrier? (Scoffs)
Joseph.
Are we expecting any other
surprise visitors this evening?
'Cause I'll pre-fuckin'
warn you, I won't be happy.
(cell phone ringing)
(Ben exhales)
Fucking beige.
[The Boss] How are things?
Well, the uncle's a bit confrontational,
but nothing to worry about.
[The Boss] Hang on. What uncle?
The uncle from the family in the house.
[The Boss] What, what,
what? The family uncle?
What are you on about?
You're not supposed to be
holding a bloody party, Ray.
What are you, some kind of retard?
(tense music)
What did he say?
They're sending Mike.
It's fine.
We got the money.
Don't worry about it.
(tense music continues)
(clock ticking)
Well this is fucking boring, isn't it?
You got any board games
or cards or something?
It's been fucking years since
I played cards with granny.
Lovely little lady, she was. Heart of gold.
My guardian angel, she was.
Died long before her time,
Ray. Long before her time.
It was a long and horrible death, Joseph.
Long and horrible. Wouldn't
wish it upon my worst enemy.
In the end, she would just...
(clears throat) Shit herself.
Spend hours just shitting herself.
In the end she would
just sit there in her shit.
She would sleep in her shit,
eat in her shit,
shit in her shit.
(clock ticking)
She was a very religious woman, Ray.
She was a God-fearing woman.
Never missed a Sunday.
In the last year, we took
her to midnight mass.
She shit herself during the
chorus of "Joy to the World."
I'll always remember
that final look in her eyes,
'cause she died with her eyes open.
Fuckin' knew she was looking at me
directly in my fucking eyes
and she was looking at me
as if to say, "I know this is it."
This is how I'm gonna die.
"I'm gonna die covered in my own shit."
Fuckin' tragedy.
Am I talking to my fucking self?
We could... What not now, Joseph?
I think we have a chess
board around here somewhere.
Board games are more suited for kids.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I'll take her cheek 'cause
she's cute and curvaceous,
but not from you.
I'll see you in my fucking nightmares
for years to fucking come.
And by the way, chess is a two-player game,
and in case you hadn't realized,
there's more than fucking two of us here.
Oh, calm down, dickhead.
I've got some ball games upstairs.
Mia.
Yeah. Yeah, that's good idea.
Let's go upstairs and play a game.
I've got a little game we
can play in mind of my own.
(Cody exhales)
(cup thuds)
Come on, Mimi.
I'll go with you.
- Sit down.
- It's fine.
See, it's okay.
You're a very unlikable person, aren't you?
[Joseph] I could show you.
I could show you where they are.
[Mia] I'm actually looking forward
to playing a little game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me, too.
(tense music)
Oi.
What's all that about downstairs?
What, you like me, love?
What are you calling
me a dickhead for, aye?
Well, you weren't exactly
being a gentleman, so.
Yeah, look, I know. I'm sorry about that.
It's been a long day, ain't it?
Look, we'll be gone in a couple of hours,
just kind of hoping you and I
might get to know each
other a little bit better first,
- if you know what I mean?
- Mm-hm.
Mm, I mean, you know, if you leave now,
we might be able to at some point.
Yeah, you know that's not possible, Mimi.
Where are these fucking games, anyway?
You haven't brought me
up here for no reason?
[Mia] No. (Chuckles)
You don't waste any time do you, Mimi?
(Mia laughs)
[Mia] So you know that Sofie,
why do you let her boss you around?
Do you fancy her or something?
[Cody] Mimi, I am a professional.
What are you trying to insinuate?
No, I just, I'm trying to insinuate
that you should take your clothes off now.
[Mia] Now you're fucking talking.
(Mia chuckles)
Are you getting your kit off as well, Mimi?
Yeah, yeah, just uh...
Come on, take it off.
[Ray] Cody, get down here!
(Cody sighs)
[Cody] I'm sorry about
this, Mimi. Fucking cock block.
(Mia chuckles)
Yeah, why don't you just
put your clothes back on
and we'll do this another time.
Ray, you're a fucking cock block.
Oh, fucking hell.
What is this?
[Mia] Yeah, this is fun.
(clock ticking)
Oh, come on. Come and join in.
- It'll be fun.
- No, I'm a professional.
Got a busy evening staring out the window
ahead of you, have you?
[Cody] Yeah.
Listen, Petal, give me
that attitude one more time
and I'll make you regret it.
I, I haven't had a chance
to tell you about my holiday, have I?
[Stella] Yeah. How was Switzerland?
Switzerland, Stella, by
contrast, was quite lovely.
Jerry and I had a wonderful time.
And...
How was Jerry?
Oh, Jerry loved the fondue.
And the chocolate. Mm.
Something else.
Joseph, I'd like
another bottle of whiskey.
[Sofie] I think you've had enough.
I've had enough when I
have said I've had enough.
Well, look at that.
What a stupid game.
Sore loser, eh?
Shut your mouth.
Oh, Raymundo, no need to be angry.
You have a lovely big
bag of money through there.
- That's true.
- Uncle Ben...
Go back to Switzerland.
It's about as boring as
your fucking beige cardigan.
"Boring."
Ray, are you sure you want
to keep playing this game, buddy?
Uncle Ben, I intend to win.
Only if I let you.
[Ray] Shut your mouth.
Can I at least finish telling
my story in the meantime?
(Ray sighs)
If you must.
One of the fascinating
things about Switzerland
is the Swiss army knife.
Almost everybody has one,
certainly every household.
Even the astronauts take one up into space.
But you know what they're really proud of?
MacGyver.
[Mia] Who's that?
It was a show in the
80's, '85 to be precise,
made by the incredible director Stephen...
It certainly was, Joseph. Yes.
[Mia] I win.
Well done, Mia.
Anyway, he was a guy
who had to construct things
out of everyday household objects.
Bombs and all kinds
of contraptions, and he
Wait, so they made a
show about terrorists?
No, Mia, not exactly.
I mean, he was the hero of the piece.
I can't actually remember
what his day job was, but he
He was a secret agent
and former bomb technician.
Yes, yes, maybe he
was. Thank you, Joseph.
Maybe he was.
But the point is, he always
had to construct something
in order to escape and he used, Joseph?
A Swiss army knife.
(clock ticking)
What a story.
(dice thuds)
Like I said, sore loser, mate.
(cell phone buzzing)
Who the fuck is Jamal?
Come on, Stella. We've been
on this roller coaster already.
Fuckin' hell, you must be
like a sausage down a corridor down there.
You've gotta be kiddin' me.
I bet you've both had a go
on the poor fellow, ain't ya?
Filthy, the pair of ya.
(cell phone buzzes)
You've gotta be kidding me.
Mimi, you come with me.
You just fucking sit down.
I do not need another excuse to shoot you.
I hope you are not used
and abused like your mother.
Mimi, I am very upset with you.
Why? What have I done now?
We'll talk about that later.
Now go and fucking get rid of him.
Mimi, it's crucial he
doesn't come back, Mimi.
If I don't buy it, I'll just
fuckin' shoot him anyway.
No, I'll make him leave.
Yes, you fucking will.
Now go on and fuck off. Open the door.
Jamal, hi.
I'm sorry, I actually forgot
about our plans tonight.
I'm really tired, so.
Oh, that's cool. We can,
we can just, you know
No, look, I didn't answer
your messages for a reason.
Can't you take a hint?
What you even doing here?
What? What do you mean?
Ugh, I just, I can't do this anymore.
You can't do, you can't do what?
Us, I can't, I don't want this anymore.
- Why?
- I just
[Jamal] Where is this coming from?
I don't have the same
feelings I had before
and to be honest, I think
my mum was right when she,
you know, you're not very funny.
I mean, okay.
I guess I'll give you this and
No, he doesn't want
your stupid fucking present.
Just go.
Come on. Can we just, can
we just go in and talk about it?
No, we can't.
Look, I've got a new boyfriend actually,
and I'm in love with him, so.
Who?
Oh my God. It doesn't matter who.
He doesn't have a small
dick, actually, and you know,
I'm tired of pretending
to be happy with you
and faking orgasms
so just, just leave, okay?
But I really hope that
we can still be friends.
(Jamal sobbing)
[Cody] I told you to get rid of him,
not crush his soul into fucking oblivion.
Fuck off.
(Mia sniffles)
That was fucking brilliant.
(clock ticking)
(cell phone ringing)
I'm not murdering these
people. It's under control.
[The Boss] I thought
you could handle this.
Maybe I should talk to Sofie.
No, don't talk to that girl.
She's a bossy little bitch.
[The Boss] Think about
your wife, your daughter.
Right, Boss, I respect you to the max,
but don't threaten my family.
[The Boss] I think I just
did. Do what needs to be done.
(clock ticking)
(cell phone buzzing)
[Sofie] It's Jerry.
He worries.
A lot.
I was supposed to be home hours ago.
Look, why don't you
just let me call him, hm?
You're not calling anyone.
He might come over here, check up on me.
It's the kind of thing he would do,
and I think we can all agree
the last thing any of us want
is another member of
my family in this house.
[Cody] What if he gives
him some sort of sign?
He won't, because if he does,
I will shoot his niece
right in the kneecaps.
Sit down.
(cell phone buzzing)
Okay.
Oh.
I've got it.
We'll send him a text.
You know what, Sof?
That's fucking brilliant.
Yeah.
Send it from the other phone.
Yeah, clever.
What should we write?
Unlock it.
Today.
He's had too much to drink
and he's gonna sleep it off on the couch
because he's a lightweight. (Ben laughs)
Pair of geniuses.
[Cody] Yeah, that'll work.
You got it?
Quick. Give it to me.
Oi, what are you chatting?
Nothing, sweetheart. (Chuckles)
[Sofie] Doesn't sound like nothing.
Listen, cupcake. You
really need to take a chill pill.
Do not call me cupcake, you dumb fuck.
Why don't you go get the boss man, huh?
We've got man things to talk about.
[Sofie] Sit the fuck down.
[Cody] Sit down or we'll leave
your nuts on the carpet, son.
[Ray] What the hell is going up in here?
[Sofie] I caught them whispering.
You caught them whispering? So?
[Sofie] Well they're
not allowed to do that.
They're not allowed?
Sofie, in case you've
forgotten, we have guns.
They can chitchat as much
as they want. We're in charge.
I'm in charge. '
You've been drinking and
playing games all night.
[Cody] Is Jerry happy?
Jerry? Who?
What, what happened?
Ugh, we had a problem
and we solved it perfectly well
without your interference.
You've been way too soft on these Muppets.
Sofie, lower the gun.
All you do is chat shit all day.
We've got chicken run here
planning the great escape
and you've got no bloody idea.
You're an idiot. (Ray sighs)
Look Sofie, they didn't plan shit.
Just put the gun down.
- You're not the boss here.
- And neither are you.
[Cody] Neither of you are's, actually.
Look, we'll separate the family.
We'll put the parents in the kitchen.
Shut up, or you'll be the first to go.
[Cody] For fuck's sake,
sense the room, Stella.
Oh, Sofie, put the gun down.
Don't you dare tell me what to do.
We have had an eventful evening.
You're tired.
I'm not.
Well I am. Lower your gun.
Stop ordering me a around.
(hit thuds) (Sofie grunts)
(gun thuds)
You fucker!
Now, this is a one way conversation.
I'm in charge because
you are too incompetent.
Don't look at me like that.
There's no need for that.
I had to hit you. You
weren't thinking straight.
You and I are on the same
team, don't you forget it.
You two, go with her.
What are you slapping
everyone for, eh, Ray?
I'm going for a smoke.
Move.
Move!
I don't wanna hear a single word from you.
Dickhead.
Have you got any food in this house?
Where's your fridge?
Oh.
Have you got any actual food?
In the oven.
Huh.
(door thuds)
(animals vocalizing)
What the fuck is this shit?
Where are your bowls?
Sorry?
Are you as stupid as you look?
I asked where the bowls are.
Cupboard on the left.
[Sofie] I'll put you in
the cupboard on the left.
Stupid...
(bowl thuds)
(microwave door closes)
(buttons beeping)
(flesh squelching) (Sofie screaming)
Ray!
Ray!
Ray, Ray!
Ray!
[Cody] What's going on here?
(Sofie sobbing)
(gun cocks)
(microwave beeps) (gun fires)
(Sofie sobbing)
Aye, get back!
(Sofie sobbing)
Go on!
Go on, get back!
Cody!
Cody!
Cody.
- Cody!
- Get Ray.
[Ray] Go.
[Cody] Sit your ass down.
Shit.
(Sofie sobbing)
Shut your mouth.
(Sofie yells)
I'm sorry. (Knife shucking)
Cody.
Get her gun.
(Cody coughs)
[Cody] Oh fucking hell.
You gave them the knife.
Sit down.
Sit down!
I'm warning you, uncle. Sit down.
Now when I said don't try anything stupid,
that is exactly what I meant.
Now because of your fuckeries,
my partner and her
husband are now dead now.
Now Uncle Ben, I warn you,
I don't want any more bodies
or I swear to God, your niece
gets it in the fucking neck.
You understand me?
In the neck.
All right, all right, now
you're understanding
where I'm coming from.
(Ray sighs)
I'm going for a cigarette.
(clock ticking)
(Cody tsking)
Get in your room and stay in.
(Ray sighs)
(soft tense acoustic music)
Look, I need to think.
[Cody] We're fucking
fucked if you don't clean up,
so think about that.
[Ray] I'm completely innocent.
Yeah, yeah, I know it is a tragedy.
Better than us, yeah?
You know what we have to do, Ray Ray.
The father's dead.
No money in the world is
gonna keep 'em quiet now
and I wouldn't fucking
give it to 'em anyway.
I need to think.
We are the baddies.
You gotta start fucking acting like it,
otherwise you are gonna
leave one big old mess in there.
I am not a killer.
That's fucking rich.
Have you seen the state of Sofie in there?
Aye. Aye, aye, aye,
aye, that was a mercy kill.
Well, that was very merciful of you.
Would you have taken her to the hospital?
No, I probably would not have mate.
But doing what you did to her in there,
that was a, that was
a different thing, mate.
She'd be screaming all night.
How about we get rid of Uncle fucking Ben
or whatever his stupid name is
and you can get rid
of that irritating slag.
In fact, I'll do it.
I'll get rid of that
irritating slag of a mother
and then I'll find something
to occupy Mia's time.
Cody, we're not taking any hostages.
I'll come up with a solution.
Try not to kill anybody
while I'm gone, aye?
(soft tense acoustic music)
Fucking cock block.
(Cody exhales)
(soft tense acoustic music continues)
He put her down like an animal.
You think it'd be any
different if it was you?
Not bad.
Mia. (Burps)
Should we go outside, lovey?
Move.
(tense acoustic music)
What?
Seeing as we'll be
leaving soon, won't we,
well we won't see each other again.
I could ask Ray to, you
know, stay in the living room
and well we could go upstairs, couldn't we?
(Mia scoffs)
You really are a psychotic
fucking moron, aren't you?
Is this some kind of joke or
are you actually that stupid?
(Mia sighs)
You're just like your lying,
piece of shit mother, aren't you?
What was all that about upstairs?
Let go.
You're hurting me.
- Are you gonna play nicely?
(Mia gasps)
(Mia breathing heavily)
Oi, wait.
Wait. (Slap thuds)
You murdered my dad.
Go fuck yourself.
Stepdad.
(tense acoustic music continues)
You are pathetic.
[Cody] You are ginger.
Shit.
Oi! Hey, stop!
Come here.
Come here. Stop.
(tense acoustic music continues)
(Ray murmuring)
[Cody] You said he was
at his fucking grandparents.
- No.
- You fucking liar.
(Stella yells)
Cody, there's no need... Fuck off.
[Ben] Cody, will you just relax?
Just take a seat and
have a drink or something.
Now move in there and fuck off.
You don't need to do this. (Stella yells)
Just sit down, we can all have a drink.
Please, Cody. Cody.
Mummy!
[Stella] Eli!
Mummy!
- Merry Christmas.
- Eli
(gunshot fires)
(tense acoustic music)
[Ray] So what? You're
straight up executing people now?
[Cody] You know, why
don't you sit down, mate?
I'm just clearing the scene.
[Ray] You would've killed that kid
in order to clear the scene, wouldn't you?
[Cody] Don't have to like
it, but I'll do it if you can't.
[Ray] You do realize that kiddie killers
don't well in jail, don't you?
[Cody] Ray, we're fucked
if we don't sort this out.
(cell phone ringing)
We're not done. I promise.
We are not done.
Yeah?
[The Boss] Is it done?
No.
[The Boss] Ray, you're a wanker.
Put Sofie on the phone.
Sofie's...
Well, Boss, the truth is Sofie's dead.
[The Boss] Let me talk to Cody.
All right.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Yeah, the father attacked Sofie, didn't he?
She got wounded pretty badly.
She started screaming, we
couldn't take her to hospital,
so yeah, Ray split her throat
open with a Swiss army knife.
Saw the whole thing. Fucking disgusting.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Yeah, it's still under
control. I've got it, obviously.
Ray Ray disagrees.
(The Boss chattering indistinctly)
Good.
Well, what did he say?
He said...
"Tell Ray to stop being such
a fucking pussy all his life."
These people were dead
the moment we walked in.
But we don't even know
what we're gonna do yet, do we?
Yeah, we do.
Boss has put me in charge.
Fuck the Boss.
No, Ray. Not fuck the Boss, fuck you.
All right, listen, this is
what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna take that lovely
little thing Mimi upstairs
whilst you sort out these other fuckers.
You're not doing it.
We're not doing this.
Move out of my way, grandpa.
Oh, fine.
Mimi, Ray says you gotta die.
(hit thuds)
(Ray grunts) (hit thuds)
(Ben grunts)
Don't move.
(hit thuds) (Cody grunts)
Don't move.
(Cody grunts)
[Cody] Oh, fuck.
Sit down.
Sit down!
You, grab that chair.
Bring it over here.
Now.
(clock ticking)
Mia, where's the gaffer tape?
Wow, fucking hell, Morpheus...
I don't think we have any.
You didn't see that coming, did ya?
I've never taken a
hostage before, you idiot.
- You're a fucking tool, mate.
- Shut up.
Both of you shut up.
Mia, give me the gun.
Tie him up.
Tie his hands behind the
chair. Hands behind the chair.
(clock ticking)
Good job you're doing down there, Mimi.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Turn around.
Hands behind your back.
Tie his hands, Mimi.
[Mia] We need one for his legs.
No. This one is coming with me.
[Mia] So, should we call the police?
Not yet.
A couple of months in prison
is not enough for these two.
After what they've done,
we need to give them a
taste of their own medicine.
[Mia] You sure about that?
Mimi, don't listen to this yeti
Shut up.
Fucking hell, all right.
Half an hour. Half an
hour to give 'em justice.
And we'll take Eli and
we'll get out of here.
When this Mike turns up,
then we'll call the police.
Eli.
When the police come, you have to tell them
you stayed in your room all night.
You didn't see any of this.
You never met this pair,
otherwise we are all in big trouble.
[Ray] That won't work, Uncle
You shut your hole.
Eli, you've been such
a brave soldier so far.
You just need to stay strong
for a little bit longer, yeah?
Need to show this pair
that they can't treat
good people like this.
Mimi.
What are you doing this for, hm?
You and your brother?
(hit thuds)
(Cody groans)
Simmer down, you big ginger freak, that
[Mia] He's got a knife.
You fucking grass.
It's the other pocket, Einstein.
Ah, fuck.
Now, in all fairness, Uncle
Ben, that one belonged to Sofie.
You keep that pointed at this one.
I don't want either of you
to see what's gonna happen to this one.
I'll be back soon enough.
You, kitchen.
Mia, look...
I really, really...
Need the toilet.
So are you gonna untie me?
Or are we gonna do it like mother?
(hit thuds) (chair scrapes)
Hands behind the chair.
Sit down.
If you're gonna execute me, go ahead.
Today you made two orphans.
You little fucking whore.
I'm gonna kill you
and the last thing you
see is gonna be my face.
You understand? Now fuck off.
It wasn't my fault. I
tried to save your family.
Look at him. (Ray panting)
Look at him!
Go upstairs.
(Cody grunts)
Then watch your cartoon,
put your headphones on
and whatever you hear,
you do not turn around,
do you understand?
You promise?
(Mia sighs)
[Ray] Ben, please. Please, Ben.
Ben, Ben.
I told you what would happen.
I told you what I did it Kabul
and you still didn't listen,
and look, here we are now.
Look, man, you gave Joseph the knife.
Oh, don't you dare try and
blame anyone but yourself.
I'm beginning to get
very impatient, Mimi.
So I'm going to give
you a chance to untie me
and let me fucking go.
If you don't,
I'm going to smash your fucking head in
until you bleed out, do you understand?
Let me fucking go!
[Ray] You're gonna be
a killer now, are you, Ben?
(Ray panting)
I always have been.
(Ray panting)
Ben, please.
Please, Ben.
Look, think about Jerry.
Look, what about the
child in the other room?
The money.
The money. I will split the money.
Think about your
(hit thuds) (Ben grunts)
Mimi, I'm sorry, look.
It's been a long day
and I'm letting my temper
get the better of me.
Look, let me go and
forget any of this happened.
Mimi, let me go.
You destroyed my entire family
and you still wanted to take me upstairs,
you sick little fuck.
Ben.
Ben, Ben, don't do this, please.
Ben.
Fucking go, you useless fucking orphan.
(flesh squelching) (Cody grunts)
[Ray] Don't, you're not a killer, Ben.
Ben.
I'm not so fine now, am I, Ray?
(tense dramatic music)
[Eli] Don't.
I told you not to turn around.
Mia, please.
He murdered mum and dad.
[Eli] Please don't.
Get out.
Leave, now.
(gun clicks)
(Ray and Ben grunting in the distance)
(tense dramatic music)
(gun thuds)
(gentle acoustic music)
You stay here.
I'm gonna go check on Uncle Ben, okay?
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(gun fires)
[Eli] No.
(Eli sobbing)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
I'm sorry, kid.
(bells jingling)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(cell phone ringing)
Yeah?
[The Boss] Cody?
It's Ray.
Cody didn't make it.
[The Boss] How's the family?
(Ray sighs)
[Ray] It's handled.
Go back inside and finish the job.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I can't pick you up
if there are witnesses.
Look, I will not murder a child.
May have seen you.
So go back inside and
finish what you started.
It's simple, right?
It's you or the kid.
But hurry up.
I'm nearly there.
(gentle acoustic music)
[Ray] Kid.
(gunshot fires) (Ray grunts)
(gentle acoustic music continues)
(car approaching)
(Ray groaning)
(car door opens)
(tense acoustic music)
You fucked up, mate.
[Ray] No.
Don't.
Don't touch the shoes.
(tense acoustic music continues)
See you, mate.
(Ray breathing unevenly)
(car starts up)
(gentle acoustic music)
(blues rock music)
Waiting on a hurricane
Waiting on a star to fall
Waiting on a tidal wave
Waiting on a angel's call
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Walking on these streets so cold
Walking on these streets of shame
Walking on these streets of blood
Walking on these streets of game
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Give me a one way ticket
to a better day and I'm gone
Whoa whoa oh oh
When the writing's on the wall
Doesn't mean you have it all
There are reasons you can't find
For the lies you left behind
Tears, I'll let them ring aloud
Like a singer in the crowd
You can run but never hide
From a stranger in the night
From a stranger in the night
(rock music)
When the writing's on the wall
Doesn't mean you have it all
You could run but never hide
From a stranger in the night
From a stranger in the night
(rock music continues)
(Cody grunts)
Oh.
Jesus Christ.
(Cody groans)
(Cody sniffs)
(Cody sighs)
Just like granny.
(Cody laughing)
(gun cocks)
(upbeat pop rock music)
(saxophone music) (soft acoustic music)
[The Boss] Well, they were
all a bunch of tossers, anyway.