Third Wheel (2025) Movie Script
1
You know that girl?
- Which girl?
- Her.
She came to your house
before work.
Why?
I don't know man,
she was just stopping by.
Did you know
she had a boyfriend?
And you thought that was okay?
She didn't seem
to have a problem with it.
Fuck you!
Did you have sex
with my girlfriend?
Look man,
I've been in your shoes before.
Is she gone?
What the fuck, Ray?
-I hate you.
-Surprise.
Baby, what do you want
for our anniversary?
My own bathroom.
Anything else?
Save that for later,
I'll be back.
-What's up, Bird?
-Hey, sorry I'm late.
Let me just
step into my office.
No, no, no,
you come in here late,
you spend
45 fucking minutes in there,
smells like shit.
Can't you read?
Since when?
Since the fucking moose out
front should have told you.
"Moose out front
should have told you."
The fuck's up his ass?
He's just pissed
your dad's got to babysit again.
I told dad a million times,
I got this.
How is mother and the old man?
You know, they ain't bitching,
ain't breathing.
Yeah, well,
maybe it's time to move out.
You're kidding me,
I'm actually losing money here.
Hey, can I borrow
a couple bucks?
Can't you see
I'm in the middle of something?
Yeah, I got to pay
ass face over here.
I don't give a fuck.
-Blue dog, help me out.
-What's wrong with your wallet?
It's broken.
- Makes sense to me.
- Shut the fuck up.
Maybe if you quit gambling
on youth intramurals
and drinking
your tip money away,
you'd save more.
Yeah, but what's the point
of working at a gas station
if you don't fill up
for free?
You know what?
Suit yourself.
So, what's Cecilia up to anyway?
Her and Coco are having
a girls' day.
-Does anybody work these days?
-Yeah, what's your excuse?
The fuck you think
I'm doing?
Motherfucker.
Good work.
-Coco's hot.
-She's got a boyfriend.
-Who, the Spaniard?
-Yeah.
Has anyone actually met--
Has Coco met this fucking guy?
Yes, they met
while she was studying abroad.
Cecilia's met him a few times,
cool guy, I guess.
He is moving in, eventually.
And they've been doing
long-distance,
I mean, what's the point
of fucking long-distance,
you're just
sexually depriving yourself.
The fuck
we talking about again?
Cecilia and her girlfriend
bumping uglies.
Wait, wait, lesbians,
who's a lesbian?
No, don't you have
somewhere to be?
Shit, I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean all these girls
are fucking freaks.
Since every girl
I've been with
has literally beaten
the shit out of me.
Ah!
Back to work.
"Axe wax."
Is this for your balls
or your asshole?
It's for all three.
All three?
I can do...
Thank you. Pull hard.
I don't know
how you drink that shit,
but I gotta say,
I love lesbians.
They have so much energy.
It's a good stance, Mark.
Get the fuck out of here.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-What's in the bag?
-Where is everybody?
Uh, Coco left.
I don't know
where Cecilia's at.
She's working.
Using my computer?
Oh, yeah, for a few minutes,
give or take.
It's dead.
You just come over here
to whack off?
You know
my girlfriend lives here, right?
-Yeah, I waited until she left.
-I appreciate that.
I mean, come on, man.
You know what it's like
at home.
Mom has a sixth sense
for knowing
when I'm whacking off.
Oh, grab me a beer
on the way back.
Okay.
Okay--
Hey, Fucko,
how about that beer?
Can you look at these,
I don't know
what I'm looking at.
What am I looking at?
-They're texts from Cecilia.
-What, to you?
No.
Who the hell's Trevor?
I don't know, I thought
maybe a gay best friend.
She's been going to his house
a lot, before work and shit.
It's someone she works with.
Trevor, you know him?
Bird, if I knew him,
this wouldn't be
fucking happening.
She's cheating on me.
What are you going to do?
Look man,
I've been in your shoes before.
Then why the fuck
would you do it to me?
Is she gone?
You don't do this
to somebody you love, okay?
to someone
you're afraid of losing.
What did I do wrong?
Six years...
I came back from L.A.,
we moved in together...
I can't believe her.
I can't fucking believe her.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Maybe instead of talking to you,
and being honest with you about
whatever she was feeling...
I guess she just...
risked it.
She loves that guy?
No, there is a big difference
between love and lust.
He is just a shiny new toy.
I just...
I didn't see any of this coming.
Okay, I mean,
I certainly never pictured,
except in nightmares,
that Cecilia would actually do
something like this.
But in the spirit of sharing,
there actually,
or more admittedly,
may have been hints.
You see,
I'm a year older than Cecilia.
So, when I finished film school
and packed for Los Angeles,
she still had her final year
to finish up.
But this didn't worry us.
Why would it?
We were in love.
So the typewriter
gets here on Thursday.
What are you going
to use that for?
To write
your love letters, baby.
You can barely text me back.
You think
you can handle that thing?
So, I was talking
to my intern supervisor,
and he had me submit a sample
of my writing, and he liked it.
And he's thinking
about having me stick around
and be like a writer's assistant
or some shit.
What's that?
Probably some more
glorified assistant bullshit,
but, hey,
if it gets me in the door,
I can handle being
somebody's errand boy
for a couple of months,
which is why,
which is why, babe,
my dad's giving me the ragtop,
can you believe that?
It's going to be me and you,
riding down the PCH drive,
with fun riding
with all the locals.
Gonna be great.
What's wrong?
I just thought you'd be home.
So I decided
it was time for a break.
I never understood the stigma
behind taking a break.
Everybody needs a break
once in a while.
It's only been a few weeks,
I think this break
is good for us.
We agree, I'm just saying, kid,
you're going to have problems
when you see your girlfriend
jacking another dude.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God, just come
get the car out of the garage.
If I may speak from experience,
we don't tend to realize
what we had until it's gone.
So, I called an end
to my sabbatical.
Why right then?
Because I missed her.
And I guess I wanted to know
she was missing me too.
Then you see
something like this.
Your soulmate
engrossed in the presence
of somebody else's company.
And for some reason,
although completely unclear
at the time,
the thought of her
being on a break too
just never seemed real.
I need to pee.
Okay.
Want to come?
The day before I was
supposed to road
trip back west,
my boss in L.A. called to say
they didn't have
anything for me,
and to check back later.
That was the lie
I told my family.
I just didn't want to go.
Because after everything,
all that seemed to matter
to me now was...
yup.
My craving for her attention
had developed
into a vexing addiction.
I prayed for sleep,
which was impossible,
given my developing insomnia.
You see, when you're asleep,
you're unconscious, at ease.
Sort of.
So, I prayed
for unconsciousness.
And drinking my weight
in whiskey seemed to help.
Because my stupor
was my only break
from pondering the fact
that it was my idea
to take a break
in the first place.
Then, just like that...
I wouldn't say I had her...
but she certainly had me.
Yeah, so Coco called and said
she's finally coming back
to the city
and I was thinking
maybe she could move in with us.
I mean, we--
I was supposed to be here.
And I did
what I was supposed to do.
I fought.
Save that for later,
I'll be back.
That's what
we're supposed to do, right?
Expected to do?
So I did just that.
I fought, and I won.
I didn't ask.
Why would I, how could I?
I looked the other way,
Coco moved in,
and we were
one big happy family.
He's just a shiny new toy.
So, if you ask me,
did I see any of this coming?
Nope.
You know the old saying,
everything comes from trees.
-What do I do?
-What do you mean?
-He's dancing with my girl.
-So what?
I'll show her.
Ah, come on,
pick up those boxes.
Let's get dressed, come on.
Sorry, man.
Ray, we all been there.
Been there
three fucking times myself.
Call Dad.
Oh, shit,
can I sneak a Jackson?
Hey, are we open
or having a pity party?
Thanks for the invite, guys.
You know, the key to
a broken heart is simple, man.
Get back to fucking work.
I'll take
a French silk, please.
- Two?
- You want a slice?
I'm good.
Eat some pie.
I don't want to.
I'm not sharing,
so you better just get--
I said no.
I'm good, thank you.
You know what, do me a favor,
just bring two, please.
Why do you always feel
the need to order for me?
-I said no.
-No pie for you.
You screwed me, Dad,
you know that?
You said everything was going
to be fine and nothing is fine.
I said go back to L.A.,
make movies.
But instead,
you got to hang around here
for no good reason whatsoever
and ruin another fucking lunch.
Don't say I said
shit I didn't say.
I don't like it, it bugs me.
You bug me.
Between you and your brother,
ever since you got back
to the bar,
you two pricks' favorite pastime
is torture me.
You think
Jamie wants to be there?
He's been working at the bar
for 30 years,
now he's a fucking babysitter.
That's-- that's why
I'm supposed to be here.
I gave you the car
for the coast.
If I knew you were going
to quit, I would have kept it.
Fool me once, shame on you,
fool me twice--
She didn't cheat on me
the first time,
-we were on a break.
-Stop, don't say stupid shit.
I told you, I don't like it.
-You just don't like her.
-It's not about her, dum-dum.
There's a big difference
between fighting and chasing.
All you've been doing
is fucking chasing.
Because that's what this is,
an addiction.
And I know,
because I'm an addict.
- Coffee?
- Decaf, please.
Fuck, that's hot.
It's coffee.
Try it, it's too hot.
Why would I try it after
you just said it was too hot?
Because what you do
when serving coffee that hot,
it's fucking dangerous.
You don't tell them
that the coffee's too hot,
you only tell them
when it's too cold.
Oh, you're
a fucking barista now.
I gotta go,
thanks for the help.
I don't know
what to tell you, kid.
You're just lucky
this happened when it did,
and not after you knocked her up
and put a diamond fucking ring
on her finger.
Careful.
You think
we should've worked it out?
Ugh, you're so confused.
I know I'm confused,
what am I confused about?
It's not about Cecilia.
I don't want anything
without her,
do you understand that?
Movies, writing, L.A.,
having kids,
I don't want any of that shit
if I can't share it with her.
Yeah, you've always been
a true hopeless romantic, kid.
I don't know what to do.
And I'm not doing anything,
and according to you...
there's nothing
I can do about it.
I'm 26 years old,
and I already feel like
I've been married
and divorced.
Just be happy
it happened to you at 26
instead of 56
like the rest of us jagoffs.
You and Mom are too proud
to get divorced.
That's not true,
we just can't afford it.
If being with Cecilia
is what you think you want,
what you think you need,
then I guess I'm the one
to tell you, kid.
You can't, it's over.
What about later?
What can I tell you, kid?
I just want you to tell me
what to do.
What do you need me to tell you?
I just, I--
I-- I need you to tell me
what to do.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
You're welcome, enjoy.
Mhmm.
Just kiss her on the cheek
and wave goodbye.
And then burn all her shit.
Ah, no pie for you.
Baby, what do you want
for our anniversary?
My own bathroom.
Anything else?
You see him every fucking day.
You think he changes
from home to the office?
If anything, he wants to kill
himself more when he gets here.
Kill himself?
He's upset,
and work makes you upset.
No one wants to fucking
work when you're upset.
This isn't about you, Bird,
and how much you hate your job.
I don't hate my job,
I'm extremely overqualified.
-Bird, Bird!
-Hold on.
Who the fuck do I gotta blow
to get another beer around here?
Don't you work? Ask fucking Ray.
He's useless,
he's a fucking mutant.
Get the fuck out of here,
and brush your teeth.
I hate it here.
- What about later?
- We're slow, why, you thirsty?
No, I meant lunch.
I just ate, I'm fine, thanks.
No, I meant Ray, dipshit.
I got him
fucking Italian beef.
Probably had two fucking bites,
kid doesn't eat.
Well then make him eat, fuck,
do I gotta do everything?
You sound like
my fucking mother.
Wait, what about the lasagna?
Oh, that was actually
phenomenal, you made that?
Oh my God,
you cannot be that stupid.
Why are you busting
my fucking balls?
I'm not,
but I would if you had any.
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
Will you turn that shit off?
Fucking bumming everybody out,
you fuck.
Oh, thank God you're home.
I took the train this morning
and I totally forgot my keys.
You look-- you look great.
Yeah?
I mean, it's been a while,
but what do you think?
Yeah, phenomenal,
it's good, it's good stuff.
My friend is having
a little shindig tonight,
and I thought Alex
would be back by now,
and be my plus one,
but you know,
-he's a slow swimmer.
-Mhmm.
So, how about it?
Uh, yeah, I shouldn't,
I have stuff I gotta do--
What stuff do you gotta do?
I get-- you know, stuff,
I gotta clean my room.
-I vacuumed today.
-Laundry.
I moved your stuff to the dryer.
My-- my bathroom is--
I bleached the shitter
this morning.
What friend?
Not that friend.
-Come on, just the two of us.
-Eh.
I could really use a drink,
and I think
the whole universe knows
-that you could use one too.
-Huh.
You know, for someone
who claims to run this place,
you do a whole lot of sitting
on your ass.
Yeah, and yet this shit
gets done, doesn't it?
It's not as easy as it looks,
you know.
Watching you, waste of talent,
it hurts.
Fuck off, loser.
That was a fucking compliment.
You look at us, me watching
you sweat your balls off,
and you're the one that clearly
doesn't want to be here.
Neither do you, apparently.
I'm here, aren't I?
I mean,
I'm meant for this fucking shit.
I was conceived
in the men's room,
for Christ's sake.
If it weren't for me,
nothing would get done
around here.
Don't fucking toot
your own horn, all right?
It did before,
and it will after.
I mean,
you went to school and shit,
you can do anything you want.
Yeah, I know,
and I still make less than you.
Yeah, so why are you here?
Nothing's changed except
you took Dad's place
behind the bar,
and he's fucking sober
living at home.
I told you both, I got this.
I don't know why you'd come back
to this fucking shithole.
Yeah, well,
clearly somebody up there
is doing for you what you sadly
can't do for yourself.
You came back from Cali
for one reason,
and that slut has failed--
Hey, what the fuck
is the matter with you?
You drunk?
You got the car
and the ticket out of the slums,
and I got the bar
and all Dad's bad habits,
and now I gotta watch you
piss it all away for a girl.
I'm upset.
The fuck are you looking--
What, I can't have a drink
with lunch?
Bird, it's 10:30 in the morning.
Yeah, and it's too fucking early
for an intervention.
There he is.
Fuck you,
stupid little dimples.
-See, I missed that guy.
-Dude, you're stupid.
I'm just saying,
you're not tied down anymore.
I used to be in there bragging
about you out in Hollywood,
now we both look like assholes.
-Sorry to disappoint.
-You're not disappointed?
I mean, look at you, you're 25
going on 50
in a place like this.
I don't need any part of that.
Your high school sweetheart
fucks up your dreams
so you pose on mine?
Just keep fucking writing.
I try.
Maybe I'm just waiting
for the ending.
Jesus Christ, kid,
just keep it simple, stupid.
You just gotta start,
and the rest
will figure itself out,
like a punchline.
When it lands, trust me,
you'll know.
Yeah.
It's a little bit more
complicated than that, Birdie.
Is it though?
I mean, Hollywood
is so non-creative,
they steal bad ideas
and make them worse.
If those assholes can do it,
so can you.
That's lunch.
Pick that shit up, pussy.
What a fucking asshole.
Oh my God.
Coco, what the fuck
are you doing?
What the hell, Ray, get out!
What are you doing,
you have a boyfriend!
-It's Alex!
-What?
It's Alex, fuck!
- Raymond!
- Who the fuck are you?
- Oh my God!
- God!
How are you, buddy?
-You're-- you're Alex?
-Yeah.
-But you're here.
-Yeah, in the flesh.
-What the hell, Ray?
-I'm sorry, I thought--
I don't even fucking know
what I thought.
I-- Wow, wow!
Um--
I thought you weren't coming.
I'm not.
Surprise?
I-- Coco-- she's told me
so much about you--
["Why Do Fools Fall In Love"
by Frankie Lymon
& The Teenagers playing]
Ray, the fuck you doing?
I gotta do something
with my hand.
You happy?
Oh yeah, the shrimp are amazing.
-Killer sauce too, huh?
-The best.
Yeah.
How about you?
Oh, I love this place,
it's the best in Chicago.
I mean, how are you doing?
I'm good.
You know, good.
Come on, Ray.
You and me?
Why don't you tell me
what you gotta tell?
Tell me what's going on.
Just some bullshit that
you think that I wanna hear?
Come on.
Be careful what you wish for.
'Cause no one wants
to hear this shit.
Try me.
I don't like talking about it.
I don't like thinking about it.
And the problem is,
I have a hard time
finding things
worth talking about.
Worth thinking about.
Not gonna lie to you...
love is hard.
I guess
that's why it's called falling.
It fucking hurts.
You wanna finish that?
Oh no, it's all yours.
Oh man, I love this shrimp.
This, this is Chicago.
I'm gonna take you around,
I'm gonna show you
how it's done.
You're in my city,
that's how we show you.
My dad's been coming here
for 40 years.
I've been coming here
my whole life.
-It's incredible.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry, you were saying?
Love, falling into it?
Yeah, I-- I don't think
it's the falling in love.
It's-- it's the falling out
that's fucking with me.
And then they're just...
gone, forever.
Somebody died.
Yeah, yeah, like--
like somebody died.
Only she's not dead, she's--
she's here.
She's just a few stops away
on the L.
What-- What's the L?
Train. Sorry.
No, it's good,
I gotta learn.
But she's still here.
And I still can't be with her.
Actually, maybe it'd be better
if she was dead.
I-- wait, I don't mean
like I actually--
Yeah, I-- I got you.
Go on.
I guess just seeing you and Coco
together made me miss it.
But fuck her, right, right?
I resent her
for making me fall in love,
because now that I felt it,
I don't know
if I'll ever feel that again.
And that hurts.
And that makes me sad.
Even if there is
somebody else out there,
how could I do--
how could I take that?
I'm scared to feel that.
What's the point
if it can just end?
It's a waste of time.
Maybe what you miss the most
is the person
you thought she was.
I don't know.
It's never gonna be the same,
you know?
Fuck it, let's say
you don't feel for anyone
the way you used to feel
for Cecilia.
What's wrong with that?
-A lot.
-No.
No.
Because there's never anything
like the first time.
Listen.
Why don't you, instead
of chasing that same feeling,
with or without that one person,
why don't you try
making something new?
I don't know.
This feeling you miss.
It's right here.
It's right here, baby.
I'm sorry, but I disagree
that Cecilia took that from you.
Because you felt that, yeah?
You felt that.
And no one can ever
take that away from you.
So why don't you try opening up?
Try it.
Maybe you'll learn something.
Papi, you're so money,
and you don't even know it.
I'm telling you.
You can have
anyone you want, Ray.
Except the one I want.
What are you gonna lose?
-Nothing now.
-Exactly.
So what's there
to be afraid of?
Pass me the sauce.
["Why Do Fools Fall In Love"
by Frankie Lymon
& The Teenagers playing]
Ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna-- Sit down.
I'm gonna test your mental co--
Sit down.
I'm gonna test
your mental coordination
with a little-- Sit down!
With a little number
called "Swingin' the Alphabet."
Swing it, brother,
swing it, swing it.
-Right.
-Right up.
I'll explain it
so even you can understand.
My colleagues will assist.
Ready, sister?
Get that junk out of here,
come on, boys.
-Hey, how we doing?
-What's up, Bird?
Bird, what's up?
Hey, Skip.
Dad called,
he says you don't call him back.
I'll call him back.
You don't call
anybody back.
Guy gives you the roadster,
you don't call him back?
Fucking asshole.
Hey, anyone cool die today?
Win yet?
The fuck's going on,
anybody wanna play with me?
Ray.
You're not gonna, like,
you know--
Saw my fucking head off?
No.
I was just checking.
Jesus Christ, how much longer
do we gotta deal
with this shit?
Just give it some time.
No, he needs to get
fucking laid.
You bet.
You're such a better
lover than my husband.
Oh, God, oh!
Do it to me, oh, do it to me!
Harder, harder.
Ray, you ready?
I'm coming, I'm coming,
I'm just finishing up
some fucking work--
some work.
Well, don't work so hard,
you'll hurt yourself.
-Let's go, we're gonna be late.
-Okay.
["Please, Please, Please
Let Me Get What I Want"
by The Dream Academy playing]
Where's Bird?
He's in his office.
He's been there
for a fucking hour.
He might be paralyzed by now.
He wonders
why we don't have any customers.
Huh, any kids die today
because of you?
You should know,
you and them fucking obituaries.
Hey, Ray,
I got a great idea for a movie.
So write it.
I don't have time
for that shit.
Hey. Twelve o'clock.
-What, go for it.
-Go for what?
-You know, fucking practice.
-I'm not fucking practi--
Welcome.
- How you doing?
- Hi.
Hi.
Oh.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Um, can I get you a table
or a drink... at the table?
Actually, I was wondering--
-Would it be okay...
-Yeah, no, of course.
At the bar, you can--
Open seating.
So you can go up
and seat yourself if you want.
I prefer the far side,
would be best.
Um.
Actually, I'm so sorry,
but would it be okay if--
Hey, friends.
What's up, buddy?
-Mind if I use your john?
-Just super quick.
-Real quick.
-Yeah.
-Go for it. Should have--
-Thanks.
I'm so sorry about that,
he'll just be in and out.
-Thank you so much.
-Don't mention it.
Who's this fucking jagoff?
-The fuck was that?
-What do you think it was?
Who the fuck died in here?
You got him good.
Passing it on.
Now, I get
what you guys are saying.
I just-- And I'm all--
I'm all for gay marriage.
I just-- I just can't get behind
guys fucking each other.
What, are you
a fucking homophobe now?
No, no, I don't give a fuck
if they're allowed to fuck
in public.
I just prefer not to see it.
Yeah, but if they're fucking
in public, you're gonna see it.
Yeah, but I don't get out
too much, Bird.
Nice.
-Can I have a couple of those?
-Yeah, right.
That'll beat us all.
What, are you smoking now?
I don't know.
Listen,
my brother, Donnie, smoked
two packs of cigarettes a day
for 50 fucking years.
And then-- Boom!
Milk truck.
You're fucked up, "milk truck,"
what the fuck
are you talking about?
It means
death doesn't discriminate.
If he wants to smoke,
let 'em smoke.
-Smoke up, Johnny.
-I will.
No wonder
you're not fucking married.
Who says I'm not married,
I got a wife.
Yeah, where's she at?
You're here every fucking day.
-She's in the car.
-She's in the fucking car?
We've been here for seven hours.
She's been in the car
for seven fucking hours?
I couldn't get
a close enough spot,
-I had to park in the tow zone.
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you, jagoff.
It's to you anyway,
let's go, kid.
-Hold him or fold him.
-Come on, kiddo.
I gotta get the fuck
out of here.
-What?
-I'm out.
-What, what are you doing?
-I know.
-Ah, come on, Ray-Ray.
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Where are you going?
-I'm tired.
-Where are you going?
-I'm tired.
Fuck, we'll see.
Go sleep in the car
with his wife
for a while, dude,
come right back.
You don't know
what you're missing.
Yeah.
See you, Ray.
Take care.
What the fuck's he
all gloom and doom about?
Ah, his old lady
just got rid of him.
What the fuck's
he got to be depressed about?
Look at him.
Look, if I was a broad,
I'd be all over him.
I'd be bouncing on him
like a fucking pogo stick.
He'd have to beg me
to stop.
Vin, are you gay?
No, no, I don't think so,
but just in case,
don't tell my wife.
Over your balls,
get the fuck out of here.
Come on,
let's finish this fucking game.
Ray, Ray, are you home?
What's up?
Go freshen up, buddy,
we're celebrating.
What's the occasion?
What the fuck is that?
Friends of yours?
-Parents.
-Oh.
What does that make you?
The plus one.
Well, I'm Lindsay.
I'm so--
Yeah, I'm-- I'm sorry. I'm Ray.
Lindsay, nice to meet you.
I know. You don't remember me?
Your boyfriend came in
to use the bathroom, right?
Cousin.
He's a little asshole.
So, is this, uh,
a new regular for you?
You watching your best friends
live happily ever after?
Was this supposed to be
your fairy tale or something?
-How would you--
-Yeah, same.
I know you.
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
Not to sound like
a creep or anything,
but I've been watching you.
And you are quite oblivious.
I am?
- Yeah.
- To what?
To what's going on around you.
Am I ugly?
-What?
-I came in again,
and you served me and I wrote
my number on a napkin.
Oh, you did? Then I--
Well, then I must have missed--
You threw it out.
I'm sorry-- No, I'm sorry.
If I did, it was an accident.
It's okay.
You definitely
seemed preoccupied.
I've been there.
Like, the lights are on,
but nobody's home.
Yeah, thanks for telling me.
I'll-- I'll be more...
present next time.
Okay.
I love this movie.
Who doesn't want a little
Patrick Swayze in them,
you know?
Hey.
Do you want to get out of here?
What? Come on.
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
-What the hell was that, Ray?
-Yeah, are you crazy?
What are you
talking about?
Did she just
ask you to go?
Like...
Why did you stay here, papi,
when that pretty girl
just asked you to go with her?
No, not really. She was...
She knows,
she was being nice.
Women are not that nice, Ray.
Drunk...
That's our boy.
Do you live
in the neighborhood?
Yeah, um, Streeterville.
It's my dad's place.
Oh, you live with your dad?
Not anymore.
So it's just you?
Could get lonely, no?
What's wrong with that?
Nothing. Just, sometimes
when I'm-- when I'm by myself,
I have a hard time finding
to do stuff... with myself.
Maybe you think too much.
You'd be surprised, uh,
solitude can be peaceful
and addicting.
Oh, thank you.
So...
What's your story?
Not much.
Grew up
down the street from the bar,
moved into a place across
the street from the brewery.
With your dance partners?
Uh, with my ex.
Ex-girlfr-- My ex-girlfriend.
-That's, you know, that's, uh...
-Mmm. Another story?
...over.
Well, do tell, young lady.
Do tell.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you!
-Tonight...
-Mm-hmm.
...you came and sat
next to me at the bar.
Why?
Why'd you come after me?
Because
you seemed like a nice guy.
Well, it was dark,
and I-- I couldn't let you
walk alone
in the dark, you know?
Why's that?
Are you afraid of the dark?
No. No.
Are you?
Sweetie,
I'm not afraid of anything.
You're deflecting.
You're the one that picked up
a random guy from a bar
to interview him
about his breakup?
Come on! I'm a great listener.
Um...
Nobody likes a sob story, okay?
Try me.
Lindsay.
-I would never...
-Spy on me in the shower?
You were out and wrapped up,
and I couldn't-- I couldn't even
see anything if I want--
Even if I wanted to.
Which I didn't, so...
Oh, so you don't
want to see me naked?
I mean, I-- I don't--
don't want to see you naked,
of course, yes,
I'd like-- I'd like to see you
naked if you wanted me to, if--
you know, someday.
Can you see now?
I can, and you're...
You're very... clean.
Hungry?
Excuse me?
For dinner.
Yes, definitely,
definitely, yes.
Yes, uh, I'm-- I'm--
I'll go hang out--
Sit down. I'll be right out.
Ready?
Good-looking guy.
He certainly was.
It's just my dad and I.
So, when he passed,
I moved in with my cousins.
One big, loud family.
- Sounds familiar.
- Yes.
I think
it's a Midwest thing.
But it was just
my dad and I, so...
When he died, it was...
It was, like, more
than losing your dad.
It's like
losing your best friend.
Everybody loved him.
And wherever
he went in the city,
somebody knew him.
No, I swear to God,
no matter where it was,
I left with at least
two or three more uncles
that I never knew I had.
And you always knew
when he entered a room,
because he'd go up
to every single person.
Even if you didn't know him,
you wanted to.
And he'd be shaking your hand
before you even got a chance
to look over your front
and be like,
"Who the fuck is this guy?"
And then, uh,
I don't know,
we'd just hang out all night
and slip out the back door
before anyone even noticed.
I always thought
it was kind of rude, but...
He always said,
nobody needs a long goodbye.
I like that.
Yeah.
He taught me
to always live in the now,
and to be present
for the ones that you love.
That's some advice
everybody should hear.
Yeah.
It's just nice.
Yeah, yeah, it's...
Yes, it's-- it's nice.
It's a little oasis
within the city,
I like to call it.
Oh. It's beautiful.
Yeah, it's nice, it's beautiful.
Yeah, it's so peaceful.
-Sylvia.
-Yes, Mickey?
How do you call your lover boy?
Come here, lover boy!
And if he doesn't answer?
Oh lover boy.
-And if he still
doesn't answer?
-I simply say...
"Ray, it's Cecilia.
I know this message
may come as a shock,
but I was hoping we could
talk on the phone soon.
Hope you're well."
You throw the fucking ball,
catch the fucking ball.
What's the matter with you?
Don't make it a thing, okay?
Cecilia texted me.
-Yeah, fuck you.
-Fuck you.
She's still alive?
What'd she say?
Nothing.
-She wants to talk.
-Now she wants to talk?
-That's what I said.
-To her?
What? No, to you.
I haven't talked to her yet.
Good. Don't. Delete it.
-Hey, what about Coco?
-What about Coco?
Why are you always
bringing Coco into this?
What, they're still friends,
aren't they?
What, you think she's just
not seeing Cecilia anymore?
No.
Sure, I guess.
She is, Ray.
Come on, don't be so
damn oblivious all the time.
What, I'm supposed to tell Coco
who she can
and cannot hang out with?
-Why not?
-Because I'm not you.
Then what am I?
-A dick.
-Then what's that make Coco?
I mean, would a real friend
be sneaking behind your back
to hang out with a cheater?
No, she wouldn't.
So she shouldn't.
Because that's fucked up.
I'm not going to burn
another bridge.
Yeah, well, if standing up for
yourself burns another bridge,
then fuck that bridge.
And Coco knows
not to talk about my life.
Especially with Cecilia.
That's what they do, Ray.
How would you know?
Because that's what we do.
You think
it's any different over there?
Everybody talks, everybody's
in each other's shit.
Especially when you think
they're not, they are.
I mean, fuck, she could
at least fill Cecilia in
on what you've been up to.
Which is?
Lindsay?
Weird timing, don't you think?
All right, fine, maybe
she didn't hear about that shit.
But I'm telling you,
women have a sixth sense
-for these fucking things.
-You've got a sixth sense
with everybody, bro.
I think you
should fucking move out.
I think you should
mind your business.
You're my fucking business.
I mean, come on, you ever
want to get over this chick?
It can't be Coco and Alex
-and Baby fucking Huey--
-I said shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
I know, all right?
I know you love your roommates.
This Lindsay chick,
she's pretty fucking incredible.
But until your past
is really behind you,
you'll always be reminded of it
and surrounded by it.
Everyone needs to move on
just as much as you do.
Just fucking let 'em.
Hey, I've been meaning
to ask you guys, uh...
Do you think it's time for me
to get out of your hair?
What do you mean?
Like, your own space.
Around-- around here.
You mean move out?
But why? We're family.
We are. We are family, but...
Yeah, I don't wa--
I don't want to overstay
my welcome with you guys.
You were here first,
if anyone should leave,
-it should be Alex.
-Wha--
Okay.
Yeah.
Just checking.
Something else on your mind?
Uh, yeah. I-- I--
I didn't want to bring it up.
But, um...
Cecilia texted me.
-What? Now?
-When?
What about?
Did you-- did you guys talk?
No, of course not.
Because you didn't want to?
Why should he?
I'm not saying that he should.
I'm just asking why.
Because fuck her. That's why.
- Babe?
- I'm sorry, man.
I mean, she's your friend,
but this is bullshit.
-Okay--
-She should know better.
This has
nothing to do with you, Alex.
Look, it really--
it doesn't even matter,
because I have
zero interest in her anyways.
She want to talk?
She should come to our doorstep,
on her knees,
where she left you.
Okay, relax.
Come on, I mean,
she knows where to find Ray.
Where is she?
Listen, buddy.
You don't need
anything from her.
Okay.
I know we don't talk
about this a lot,
but I am still
friends with Cecilia, okay?
So I don't think there needs
to be any sort of shaming.
What happened to Ray
was disgusting,
and I would never
condone that behavior.
But, I mean, this was--
this was tough for everybody.
And I just feel like
if you're punishing someone,
you're just going to end up
feeling bitter--
Oh, come on. Come on. Punishing?
Ask him who's punishing who.
-Ask him.
-Okay, well,
if you would let me finish,
I think a big part
of the healing process
is to forgive and forget.
Let me see
if I get this straight.
Cecilia needs Ray
to forgive her,
so that she can feel better?
He doesn't need
to forgive her for her.
I mean,
you can forgive her for you.
Which she can still do.
I mean, buddy,
you know how to continue
living your best life?
Just part ways with those
who threaten it.
That's what closure is,
Einstein.
Yeah, but what does
she need it for?
Are you telling me that
even if you couldn't
stand the sight of someone,
you wouldn't just
suck it up for two minutes?
Even if you genuinely knew
it would make his or her
life a little bit better?
I mean, wouldn't that
make you feel better?
Bitterness and-- and--
and jealousy
doesn't do anyone
any good whatsoever.
And I know you would,
Alex, because I know you.
What did you mean by everybody?
What?
You said it's been tough
for everybody.
Who?
Those who care about you.
Your family and Bird and...
me.
I didn't realize
I was such a burden.
What? No-- no, you're not.
I just meant that
you're not alone in all of this.
I mean, we all lost.
What did you lose?
Are you serious?
Just curious.
Okay. Well, I've been stuck
in the middle of all of this.
I know you lost your girlfriend
and I wouldn't compare the two,
but I think
we're forgetting here
that I was best friends
with Cecilia.
I mean, we all were, weren't we?
You could have went with her.
Ray, I didn't want to.
Well, I'm sorry
you felt so stuck.
I know the feeling.
But at least
you both had a choice.
You didn't lose
your best friend.
You lost your roommate
and you gained a bunkmate.
I lost my best friend.
Along with everything else.
"Ray,
by the time you're
reading this,
I've been lying awake
at night curious
if you've made it this far.
I've thought about
what I'd say to you,
and how I'd say it
for a long time now,
but to be honest
picturing you now
has made me forget everything.
There hasn't been a single day
that I haven't
thought about you, Ray,
and what I did to you.
I want to say I'm sorry,
but I'd like to hope
that you already knew that.
I hope you saw my silence
as respect for you.
Every day seemed too soon,
always too late.
I'm sorry
if I was wrong about that.
I love you, Ray.
I always will.
Please know this.
Yours forever and always,
Cecilia."
"P.S. I'll be at the diner
this Saturday at 10 a.m.
I'll wait for you."
Hey, what are you thinking?
What am I thinking?
I'm not thinking. Why?
You seem off.
I just didn't like
the movie too much.
I'm sorry,
it's nothing, it's just...
roommate stuff.
Okay, well...
you don't have to talk about it,
but when you do, I'm all ears.
Thanks.
Hey, Ray, wait.
Um...
If you wanted to get away,
I'm gonna go
to the lake this weekend,
so you should come.
-The lake?
-Yeah, uh, Lake Geneva.
Some of my old family friends
have a place on the water,
so we could just get on
the train Saturday morning.
Yeah, sounds good.
I'm gonna-- I'll let you know.
Okay, bye.
Uh, Ray.
Wait.
Yes?
Can I ask you something?
What are we?
What do you mean?
I mean, are we together?
I think we're dating
each other, right?
Okay, but like, just each other?
-What are you getting at?
-I'm-- I'm just interested in
what you think
this might be.
I think--
I think we're hanging out
and having fun,
which is what dating is.
Okay, but are we hanging out
and having fun
with other people as well?
No, no. What, no-- are you?
Would you be upset if I was?
I mean, I-- no, I, no-- I guess
I wouldn't--
shouldn't be surprised, no.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
What, what? Would-- would you?
I-- I don't know,
I thought that...
Yes, Ray,
I would be upset if you were.
Okay, I just,
I- I thought that maybe...
You thought what?
Ray, we just had sex.
-I know we just did.
-We've been having sex
and going out
and you're introducing me
to your family
and your friends and,
and we're spending
a lot of time together.
I know, and I love it.
Okay, so wouldn't that
be weird if I was doing
that exact same thing
with somebody else
and you didn't know about it?
I want you
to roll your own roll, dude.
Okay, dude,
I do roll my own roll.
Okay, then what's the issue?
I don't want to do all of that.
-Then what do you want?
-I want you, Ray.
We're here right now.
I don't mean literally.
You mean exclusively.
And I-- I just--
Lindsay, I'm-- I'm--
That-- it's too complicated
for me right now
to be into something like that.
Christ, I'm not asking you
to marry me.
-Okay, then what are you asking?
-I'm asking you,
where do you see this going?
I thought it was going okay.
Okay, so did I
until a minute ago.
Well, you think
you're the only person
in the entire world who's
ever experienced a heartbreak?
Look, I know you.
That's why I get you.
I don't need you to get me.
-Okay, I'm not saying, I just--
-No, no,
but what are you trying to say,
what are you trying to say?
I-- I just thought
I could fix you.
I don't need you
to fucking fix me, Lindsay.
God.
Go home.
Fine.
Fuck her, I'm so sick of you
moping around here.
So bent out of shape
for some bitch
that kicked you to the curb.
I love you, Ray.
Meet me at the fucking diner.
Now she thinks
she can just waltz back in
like nothing fucking happened.
What, Lou dawg, am I wrong?
Oh, suddenly nobody
has anything to fucking say?
Hey, Dr. Phil,
you're fucked up.
- Go home.
- God.
You're letting this girl
run your fucking life,
and look at me now.
I'm even
fucking talking about her.
Fuck Coco.
That fucking bitch.
Is she--
You call her your best friend?
She's fucking
Cecilia's best friend.
You're fucking bringing
her around your house
when you're fucking here.
She can't fucking meet her
at a fucking coffee shop,
or Cecilia's house
for that fucking matter?
Oh no, probably not.
'Cause she's still fucking
shacked up with that bitch
she fucking left you for.
This is exactly what I was
fucking talking about.
They always come back,
and here she is,
she's coming back, and
you're fucking falling for it.
And now old Ray's back,
and you'll get back together
and blah, blah, blah,
until it happens again
like a broken fucking record.
Now she wants to talk?
That bitch should have
thought of that
before she sucked off
the bartender
and came home
and kissed you goodnight.
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
Hey, hey, hey!
Yeah, there he is,
on the Dick Biondi show,
18 degrees.
The sound of music
with Dick Biondi!
I'm sorry.
Jamie wouldn't let me walk.
It's fine.
You okay?
Yes.
I just-- I-- I'm-- sorry
for dragging you out and, and...
...for everything, really.
I'm sorry.
That's what I'm here for.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm-- I'm sorry, Ray.
Why? Why? Not-- it's not--
It's not your fault. It's--
It's--
It's not your fault.
It's just--
Goal!
Shrimp?
Bird called looking for you.
Said nobody
can get you on the phone.
Taking a day off.
He's just worried
about you, you know?
With this whole Cecilia thing.
Don't need to worry about it.
Me? Oh, no,
I'm-- I'm not worried.
Will you go?
Go where?
Maybe.
For some closure, why not?
If that's what you need.
Do what you want.
What, you don't think
I should go?
It's not up to me.
If you think
you should go, then go.
I sense a "but."
But you don't need to go.
Let me ask you something.
If she hadn't wrote
you that letter,
if she hadn't asked you
to finally fucking meet
after all this time,
would you still go?
If she hadn't asked,
we wouldn't be meeting
-in the first place, Alex.
-Exactly.
So why now?
Do what you want.
I do do what I want.
What, do you think
she wants to meet up because...
she wants me back?
Maybe not want you back,
maybe she just wants to know
that she still has you.
You know, if she wants.
Okay, I won't.
I wouldn't get back with her
even if she wanted me to. So...
If you go,
isn't that exactly
what you're doing?
Two, please.
Okay, my keys--
Who are those for?
-They look like shit.
-Yeah, so do you.
All right, I'm gonna ask.
All right?
You drink too much.
Fucking gamble too much.
Probably talk too much.
I mean, maybe there's
a lot of things I do too much.
I don't know.
You're on your way out.
-I just came...
-I know.
Me too.
So where are you headed?
It's your funeral.
I'm not afraid of anything.
Shit, neither am I,
but I still look both ways
before crossing the street.
What are you gonna do?
Me? Nothing.
I know I'm the black sheep
of the family,
but you're clearly
the village idiot.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you.
-Just hear me out for a second.
-I do-- I don't want to.
What, you're in such a rush you
can't spare two fucking minutes?
Look, man.
It's not easy watching
somebody you love get hurt.
And I'm your fucking brother.
So if there's even the slightest
chance I can do something
to make sure that shit's
not gonna happen, I'm doing it.
And I know how you feel,
because I feel that shit too.
I wish I didn't, but I do.
You don't have to feel that way
if you don't want to.
I don't want to.
I know you don't.
So don't.
These smell like piss.
Just give me
the fucking flowers.
Hey, how about a lift?
-You wanna grab a drink before?
-No.
Just checking.
Look, it was wrong of me
to assume
that I would be the one
to help you move on.
So, I'm sorry.
And I was wrong about that.
Nah.
You're right.
And I have...
some serious fixing to do...
of my own.
On my own.
Hey.
Come on.
You're such a catch, Lindsay.
And for some reason,
you are attracted to my baggage.
You don't deserve
a half-assed boyfriend.
And I think I need to learn
to be there for myself
before I can be there
for anybody else right now.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't usually handle
rejection this well,
so you should consider
yourself lucky.
Nothing like a last kiss.
So.
What's next for Baby?
Come in here.
Raymond. Did you do this?
Yeah, Ray, what is this?
Dinner.
For two?
And so goes the story
of a catastrophic breakup.
Which led to a subtraction,
an addition, an addiction,
an adoption, a couple more
heartfelt connections,
some more breakups,
breakdowns, but eventually
introduced me to the one person
I had always known,
but I guess never really met.
And whom I've finally
come to realize
is not such a bad
guy after all.
Yeah, well, maybe
if you put on your chapstick
you wouldn't get herpes.
It's not fucking herpes.
Hey, you must be the new guy.
Hey, I'm Blake,
this is my sister Paige.
Uh, Brother,
why do you always feel like
you have to introduce me?
Stop!
-Hey.
-Hi.
-I'm Paige.
-Nice to meet you guys, I'm Ray.
Hey, Ray, we actually
have a third roommate.
Her name's Halle.
She's parking the car right now.
Maybe you'll meet her.
-Nice meeting you, man.
-Yeah, nice meeting you, guys.
-Take care.
-Take it easy.
Hey. You're the new neighbor.
-I'm H--
-Halle.
I-- I think
I just met your roommates.
Oh, that's a relief.
So, it's just you?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Ray.
Hi. Must be nice living alone.
Can you afford that?
Uh, ask me in 29 days.
Yeah, maybe I will.
So, it's just you three?
Uh, yeah, for now.
I-- I think. Uh...
I just got out of a really long
relationship and we go way back,
so they just
welcomed me with open arms.
I'm sorry.
I don't know
why I told you that.
No. No, no, it's okay.
It's good-- it's good
to talk about those things.
Yeah, well...
nobody likes a sob story.
That's our boy.
Cheers me.
Good, perfect,
let's just reset
and go right back into it.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Oh, perfect. Cut.
Where is she? Where is she at?
Where-- where is she,
where is she--
Where is she?
Where's she at?
Where's she at? Yeah.
How come you didn't--
Where-- wait, stop.
Where-- all right. Where is she?
Where's she at?
How come
you're here every day?
She's in the car.
- Don't think about it.
- Heard.
Fuck it.
We'll do it live. All right.
Came home
to kiss you goodnight--
You know, fuck--
- All right, awesome.
- Yeah, that's a cut.
Hey, thanks for the tip
on the taint.
It's been a hot
motherfucking summer.
You're singing
to the choir, Lou.
Now lean
to the left, right.
Lean to the left,
now go back right.
No, now go left.
Great.
- Action.
- Try me.
- Oh. That's right--
- Okay.
- I've been smiling--
- I think we're ready.
Please help me, so you
can go play ice hockey.
Why are you busting
my fucking balls?
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
Turn that shit off.
I'm just kidding.
I really love you, man.
You know that girl?
- Which girl?
- Her.
She came to your house
before work.
Why?
I don't know man,
she was just stopping by.
Did you know
she had a boyfriend?
And you thought that was okay?
She didn't seem
to have a problem with it.
Fuck you!
Did you have sex
with my girlfriend?
Look man,
I've been in your shoes before.
Is she gone?
What the fuck, Ray?
-I hate you.
-Surprise.
Baby, what do you want
for our anniversary?
My own bathroom.
Anything else?
Save that for later,
I'll be back.
-What's up, Bird?
-Hey, sorry I'm late.
Let me just
step into my office.
No, no, no,
you come in here late,
you spend
45 fucking minutes in there,
smells like shit.
Can't you read?
Since when?
Since the fucking moose out
front should have told you.
"Moose out front
should have told you."
The fuck's up his ass?
He's just pissed
your dad's got to babysit again.
I told dad a million times,
I got this.
How is mother and the old man?
You know, they ain't bitching,
ain't breathing.
Yeah, well,
maybe it's time to move out.
You're kidding me,
I'm actually losing money here.
Hey, can I borrow
a couple bucks?
Can't you see
I'm in the middle of something?
Yeah, I got to pay
ass face over here.
I don't give a fuck.
-Blue dog, help me out.
-What's wrong with your wallet?
It's broken.
- Makes sense to me.
- Shut the fuck up.
Maybe if you quit gambling
on youth intramurals
and drinking
your tip money away,
you'd save more.
Yeah, but what's the point
of working at a gas station
if you don't fill up
for free?
You know what?
Suit yourself.
So, what's Cecilia up to anyway?
Her and Coco are having
a girls' day.
-Does anybody work these days?
-Yeah, what's your excuse?
The fuck you think
I'm doing?
Motherfucker.
Good work.
-Coco's hot.
-She's got a boyfriend.
-Who, the Spaniard?
-Yeah.
Has anyone actually met--
Has Coco met this fucking guy?
Yes, they met
while she was studying abroad.
Cecilia's met him a few times,
cool guy, I guess.
He is moving in, eventually.
And they've been doing
long-distance,
I mean, what's the point
of fucking long-distance,
you're just
sexually depriving yourself.
The fuck
we talking about again?
Cecilia and her girlfriend
bumping uglies.
Wait, wait, lesbians,
who's a lesbian?
No, don't you have
somewhere to be?
Shit, I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean all these girls
are fucking freaks.
Since every girl
I've been with
has literally beaten
the shit out of me.
Ah!
Back to work.
"Axe wax."
Is this for your balls
or your asshole?
It's for all three.
All three?
I can do...
Thank you. Pull hard.
I don't know
how you drink that shit,
but I gotta say,
I love lesbians.
They have so much energy.
It's a good stance, Mark.
Get the fuck out of here.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-What's in the bag?
-Where is everybody?
Uh, Coco left.
I don't know
where Cecilia's at.
She's working.
Using my computer?
Oh, yeah, for a few minutes,
give or take.
It's dead.
You just come over here
to whack off?
You know
my girlfriend lives here, right?
-Yeah, I waited until she left.
-I appreciate that.
I mean, come on, man.
You know what it's like
at home.
Mom has a sixth sense
for knowing
when I'm whacking off.
Oh, grab me a beer
on the way back.
Okay.
Okay--
Hey, Fucko,
how about that beer?
Can you look at these,
I don't know
what I'm looking at.
What am I looking at?
-They're texts from Cecilia.
-What, to you?
No.
Who the hell's Trevor?
I don't know, I thought
maybe a gay best friend.
She's been going to his house
a lot, before work and shit.
It's someone she works with.
Trevor, you know him?
Bird, if I knew him,
this wouldn't be
fucking happening.
She's cheating on me.
What are you going to do?
Look man,
I've been in your shoes before.
Then why the fuck
would you do it to me?
Is she gone?
You don't do this
to somebody you love, okay?
to someone
you're afraid of losing.
What did I do wrong?
Six years...
I came back from L.A.,
we moved in together...
I can't believe her.
I can't fucking believe her.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Maybe instead of talking to you,
and being honest with you about
whatever she was feeling...
I guess she just...
risked it.
She loves that guy?
No, there is a big difference
between love and lust.
He is just a shiny new toy.
I just...
I didn't see any of this coming.
Okay, I mean,
I certainly never pictured,
except in nightmares,
that Cecilia would actually do
something like this.
But in the spirit of sharing,
there actually,
or more admittedly,
may have been hints.
You see,
I'm a year older than Cecilia.
So, when I finished film school
and packed for Los Angeles,
she still had her final year
to finish up.
But this didn't worry us.
Why would it?
We were in love.
So the typewriter
gets here on Thursday.
What are you going
to use that for?
To write
your love letters, baby.
You can barely text me back.
You think
you can handle that thing?
So, I was talking
to my intern supervisor,
and he had me submit a sample
of my writing, and he liked it.
And he's thinking
about having me stick around
and be like a writer's assistant
or some shit.
What's that?
Probably some more
glorified assistant bullshit,
but, hey,
if it gets me in the door,
I can handle being
somebody's errand boy
for a couple of months,
which is why,
which is why, babe,
my dad's giving me the ragtop,
can you believe that?
It's going to be me and you,
riding down the PCH drive,
with fun riding
with all the locals.
Gonna be great.
What's wrong?
I just thought you'd be home.
So I decided
it was time for a break.
I never understood the stigma
behind taking a break.
Everybody needs a break
once in a while.
It's only been a few weeks,
I think this break
is good for us.
We agree, I'm just saying, kid,
you're going to have problems
when you see your girlfriend
jacking another dude.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God, just come
get the car out of the garage.
If I may speak from experience,
we don't tend to realize
what we had until it's gone.
So, I called an end
to my sabbatical.
Why right then?
Because I missed her.
And I guess I wanted to know
she was missing me too.
Then you see
something like this.
Your soulmate
engrossed in the presence
of somebody else's company.
And for some reason,
although completely unclear
at the time,
the thought of her
being on a break too
just never seemed real.
I need to pee.
Okay.
Want to come?
The day before I was
supposed to road
trip back west,
my boss in L.A. called to say
they didn't have
anything for me,
and to check back later.
That was the lie
I told my family.
I just didn't want to go.
Because after everything,
all that seemed to matter
to me now was...
yup.
My craving for her attention
had developed
into a vexing addiction.
I prayed for sleep,
which was impossible,
given my developing insomnia.
You see, when you're asleep,
you're unconscious, at ease.
Sort of.
So, I prayed
for unconsciousness.
And drinking my weight
in whiskey seemed to help.
Because my stupor
was my only break
from pondering the fact
that it was my idea
to take a break
in the first place.
Then, just like that...
I wouldn't say I had her...
but she certainly had me.
Yeah, so Coco called and said
she's finally coming back
to the city
and I was thinking
maybe she could move in with us.
I mean, we--
I was supposed to be here.
And I did
what I was supposed to do.
I fought.
Save that for later,
I'll be back.
That's what
we're supposed to do, right?
Expected to do?
So I did just that.
I fought, and I won.
I didn't ask.
Why would I, how could I?
I looked the other way,
Coco moved in,
and we were
one big happy family.
He's just a shiny new toy.
So, if you ask me,
did I see any of this coming?
Nope.
You know the old saying,
everything comes from trees.
-What do I do?
-What do you mean?
-He's dancing with my girl.
-So what?
I'll show her.
Ah, come on,
pick up those boxes.
Let's get dressed, come on.
Sorry, man.
Ray, we all been there.
Been there
three fucking times myself.
Call Dad.
Oh, shit,
can I sneak a Jackson?
Hey, are we open
or having a pity party?
Thanks for the invite, guys.
You know, the key to
a broken heart is simple, man.
Get back to fucking work.
I'll take
a French silk, please.
- Two?
- You want a slice?
I'm good.
Eat some pie.
I don't want to.
I'm not sharing,
so you better just get--
I said no.
I'm good, thank you.
You know what, do me a favor,
just bring two, please.
Why do you always feel
the need to order for me?
-I said no.
-No pie for you.
You screwed me, Dad,
you know that?
You said everything was going
to be fine and nothing is fine.
I said go back to L.A.,
make movies.
But instead,
you got to hang around here
for no good reason whatsoever
and ruin another fucking lunch.
Don't say I said
shit I didn't say.
I don't like it, it bugs me.
You bug me.
Between you and your brother,
ever since you got back
to the bar,
you two pricks' favorite pastime
is torture me.
You think
Jamie wants to be there?
He's been working at the bar
for 30 years,
now he's a fucking babysitter.
That's-- that's why
I'm supposed to be here.
I gave you the car
for the coast.
If I knew you were going
to quit, I would have kept it.
Fool me once, shame on you,
fool me twice--
She didn't cheat on me
the first time,
-we were on a break.
-Stop, don't say stupid shit.
I told you, I don't like it.
-You just don't like her.
-It's not about her, dum-dum.
There's a big difference
between fighting and chasing.
All you've been doing
is fucking chasing.
Because that's what this is,
an addiction.
And I know,
because I'm an addict.
- Coffee?
- Decaf, please.
Fuck, that's hot.
It's coffee.
Try it, it's too hot.
Why would I try it after
you just said it was too hot?
Because what you do
when serving coffee that hot,
it's fucking dangerous.
You don't tell them
that the coffee's too hot,
you only tell them
when it's too cold.
Oh, you're
a fucking barista now.
I gotta go,
thanks for the help.
I don't know
what to tell you, kid.
You're just lucky
this happened when it did,
and not after you knocked her up
and put a diamond fucking ring
on her finger.
Careful.
You think
we should've worked it out?
Ugh, you're so confused.
I know I'm confused,
what am I confused about?
It's not about Cecilia.
I don't want anything
without her,
do you understand that?
Movies, writing, L.A.,
having kids,
I don't want any of that shit
if I can't share it with her.
Yeah, you've always been
a true hopeless romantic, kid.
I don't know what to do.
And I'm not doing anything,
and according to you...
there's nothing
I can do about it.
I'm 26 years old,
and I already feel like
I've been married
and divorced.
Just be happy
it happened to you at 26
instead of 56
like the rest of us jagoffs.
You and Mom are too proud
to get divorced.
That's not true,
we just can't afford it.
If being with Cecilia
is what you think you want,
what you think you need,
then I guess I'm the one
to tell you, kid.
You can't, it's over.
What about later?
What can I tell you, kid?
I just want you to tell me
what to do.
What do you need me to tell you?
I just, I--
I-- I need you to tell me
what to do.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
You're welcome, enjoy.
Mhmm.
Just kiss her on the cheek
and wave goodbye.
And then burn all her shit.
Ah, no pie for you.
Baby, what do you want
for our anniversary?
My own bathroom.
Anything else?
You see him every fucking day.
You think he changes
from home to the office?
If anything, he wants to kill
himself more when he gets here.
Kill himself?
He's upset,
and work makes you upset.
No one wants to fucking
work when you're upset.
This isn't about you, Bird,
and how much you hate your job.
I don't hate my job,
I'm extremely overqualified.
-Bird, Bird!
-Hold on.
Who the fuck do I gotta blow
to get another beer around here?
Don't you work? Ask fucking Ray.
He's useless,
he's a fucking mutant.
Get the fuck out of here,
and brush your teeth.
I hate it here.
- What about later?
- We're slow, why, you thirsty?
No, I meant lunch.
I just ate, I'm fine, thanks.
No, I meant Ray, dipshit.
I got him
fucking Italian beef.
Probably had two fucking bites,
kid doesn't eat.
Well then make him eat, fuck,
do I gotta do everything?
You sound like
my fucking mother.
Wait, what about the lasagna?
Oh, that was actually
phenomenal, you made that?
Oh my God,
you cannot be that stupid.
Why are you busting
my fucking balls?
I'm not,
but I would if you had any.
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
Will you turn that shit off?
Fucking bumming everybody out,
you fuck.
Oh, thank God you're home.
I took the train this morning
and I totally forgot my keys.
You look-- you look great.
Yeah?
I mean, it's been a while,
but what do you think?
Yeah, phenomenal,
it's good, it's good stuff.
My friend is having
a little shindig tonight,
and I thought Alex
would be back by now,
and be my plus one,
but you know,
-he's a slow swimmer.
-Mhmm.
So, how about it?
Uh, yeah, I shouldn't,
I have stuff I gotta do--
What stuff do you gotta do?
I get-- you know, stuff,
I gotta clean my room.
-I vacuumed today.
-Laundry.
I moved your stuff to the dryer.
My-- my bathroom is--
I bleached the shitter
this morning.
What friend?
Not that friend.
-Come on, just the two of us.
-Eh.
I could really use a drink,
and I think
the whole universe knows
-that you could use one too.
-Huh.
You know, for someone
who claims to run this place,
you do a whole lot of sitting
on your ass.
Yeah, and yet this shit
gets done, doesn't it?
It's not as easy as it looks,
you know.
Watching you, waste of talent,
it hurts.
Fuck off, loser.
That was a fucking compliment.
You look at us, me watching
you sweat your balls off,
and you're the one that clearly
doesn't want to be here.
Neither do you, apparently.
I'm here, aren't I?
I mean,
I'm meant for this fucking shit.
I was conceived
in the men's room,
for Christ's sake.
If it weren't for me,
nothing would get done
around here.
Don't fucking toot
your own horn, all right?
It did before,
and it will after.
I mean,
you went to school and shit,
you can do anything you want.
Yeah, I know,
and I still make less than you.
Yeah, so why are you here?
Nothing's changed except
you took Dad's place
behind the bar,
and he's fucking sober
living at home.
I told you both, I got this.
I don't know why you'd come back
to this fucking shithole.
Yeah, well,
clearly somebody up there
is doing for you what you sadly
can't do for yourself.
You came back from Cali
for one reason,
and that slut has failed--
Hey, what the fuck
is the matter with you?
You drunk?
You got the car
and the ticket out of the slums,
and I got the bar
and all Dad's bad habits,
and now I gotta watch you
piss it all away for a girl.
I'm upset.
The fuck are you looking--
What, I can't have a drink
with lunch?
Bird, it's 10:30 in the morning.
Yeah, and it's too fucking early
for an intervention.
There he is.
Fuck you,
stupid little dimples.
-See, I missed that guy.
-Dude, you're stupid.
I'm just saying,
you're not tied down anymore.
I used to be in there bragging
about you out in Hollywood,
now we both look like assholes.
-Sorry to disappoint.
-You're not disappointed?
I mean, look at you, you're 25
going on 50
in a place like this.
I don't need any part of that.
Your high school sweetheart
fucks up your dreams
so you pose on mine?
Just keep fucking writing.
I try.
Maybe I'm just waiting
for the ending.
Jesus Christ, kid,
just keep it simple, stupid.
You just gotta start,
and the rest
will figure itself out,
like a punchline.
When it lands, trust me,
you'll know.
Yeah.
It's a little bit more
complicated than that, Birdie.
Is it though?
I mean, Hollywood
is so non-creative,
they steal bad ideas
and make them worse.
If those assholes can do it,
so can you.
That's lunch.
Pick that shit up, pussy.
What a fucking asshole.
Oh my God.
Coco, what the fuck
are you doing?
What the hell, Ray, get out!
What are you doing,
you have a boyfriend!
-It's Alex!
-What?
It's Alex, fuck!
- Raymond!
- Who the fuck are you?
- Oh my God!
- God!
How are you, buddy?
-You're-- you're Alex?
-Yeah.
-But you're here.
-Yeah, in the flesh.
-What the hell, Ray?
-I'm sorry, I thought--
I don't even fucking know
what I thought.
I-- Wow, wow!
Um--
I thought you weren't coming.
I'm not.
Surprise?
I-- Coco-- she's told me
so much about you--
["Why Do Fools Fall In Love"
by Frankie Lymon
& The Teenagers playing]
Ray, the fuck you doing?
I gotta do something
with my hand.
You happy?
Oh yeah, the shrimp are amazing.
-Killer sauce too, huh?
-The best.
Yeah.
How about you?
Oh, I love this place,
it's the best in Chicago.
I mean, how are you doing?
I'm good.
You know, good.
Come on, Ray.
You and me?
Why don't you tell me
what you gotta tell?
Tell me what's going on.
Just some bullshit that
you think that I wanna hear?
Come on.
Be careful what you wish for.
'Cause no one wants
to hear this shit.
Try me.
I don't like talking about it.
I don't like thinking about it.
And the problem is,
I have a hard time
finding things
worth talking about.
Worth thinking about.
Not gonna lie to you...
love is hard.
I guess
that's why it's called falling.
It fucking hurts.
You wanna finish that?
Oh no, it's all yours.
Oh man, I love this shrimp.
This, this is Chicago.
I'm gonna take you around,
I'm gonna show you
how it's done.
You're in my city,
that's how we show you.
My dad's been coming here
for 40 years.
I've been coming here
my whole life.
-It's incredible.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry, you were saying?
Love, falling into it?
Yeah, I-- I don't think
it's the falling in love.
It's-- it's the falling out
that's fucking with me.
And then they're just...
gone, forever.
Somebody died.
Yeah, yeah, like--
like somebody died.
Only she's not dead, she's--
she's here.
She's just a few stops away
on the L.
What-- What's the L?
Train. Sorry.
No, it's good,
I gotta learn.
But she's still here.
And I still can't be with her.
Actually, maybe it'd be better
if she was dead.
I-- wait, I don't mean
like I actually--
Yeah, I-- I got you.
Go on.
I guess just seeing you and Coco
together made me miss it.
But fuck her, right, right?
I resent her
for making me fall in love,
because now that I felt it,
I don't know
if I'll ever feel that again.
And that hurts.
And that makes me sad.
Even if there is
somebody else out there,
how could I do--
how could I take that?
I'm scared to feel that.
What's the point
if it can just end?
It's a waste of time.
Maybe what you miss the most
is the person
you thought she was.
I don't know.
It's never gonna be the same,
you know?
Fuck it, let's say
you don't feel for anyone
the way you used to feel
for Cecilia.
What's wrong with that?
-A lot.
-No.
No.
Because there's never anything
like the first time.
Listen.
Why don't you, instead
of chasing that same feeling,
with or without that one person,
why don't you try
making something new?
I don't know.
This feeling you miss.
It's right here.
It's right here, baby.
I'm sorry, but I disagree
that Cecilia took that from you.
Because you felt that, yeah?
You felt that.
And no one can ever
take that away from you.
So why don't you try opening up?
Try it.
Maybe you'll learn something.
Papi, you're so money,
and you don't even know it.
I'm telling you.
You can have
anyone you want, Ray.
Except the one I want.
What are you gonna lose?
-Nothing now.
-Exactly.
So what's there
to be afraid of?
Pass me the sauce.
["Why Do Fools Fall In Love"
by Frankie Lymon
& The Teenagers playing]
Ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna-- Sit down.
I'm gonna test your mental co--
Sit down.
I'm gonna test
your mental coordination
with a little-- Sit down!
With a little number
called "Swingin' the Alphabet."
Swing it, brother,
swing it, swing it.
-Right.
-Right up.
I'll explain it
so even you can understand.
My colleagues will assist.
Ready, sister?
Get that junk out of here,
come on, boys.
-Hey, how we doing?
-What's up, Bird?
Bird, what's up?
Hey, Skip.
Dad called,
he says you don't call him back.
I'll call him back.
You don't call
anybody back.
Guy gives you the roadster,
you don't call him back?
Fucking asshole.
Hey, anyone cool die today?
Win yet?
The fuck's going on,
anybody wanna play with me?
Ray.
You're not gonna, like,
you know--
Saw my fucking head off?
No.
I was just checking.
Jesus Christ, how much longer
do we gotta deal
with this shit?
Just give it some time.
No, he needs to get
fucking laid.
You bet.
You're such a better
lover than my husband.
Oh, God, oh!
Do it to me, oh, do it to me!
Harder, harder.
Ray, you ready?
I'm coming, I'm coming,
I'm just finishing up
some fucking work--
some work.
Well, don't work so hard,
you'll hurt yourself.
-Let's go, we're gonna be late.
-Okay.
["Please, Please, Please
Let Me Get What I Want"
by The Dream Academy playing]
Where's Bird?
He's in his office.
He's been there
for a fucking hour.
He might be paralyzed by now.
He wonders
why we don't have any customers.
Huh, any kids die today
because of you?
You should know,
you and them fucking obituaries.
Hey, Ray,
I got a great idea for a movie.
So write it.
I don't have time
for that shit.
Hey. Twelve o'clock.
-What, go for it.
-Go for what?
-You know, fucking practice.
-I'm not fucking practi--
Welcome.
- How you doing?
- Hi.
Hi.
Oh.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Um, can I get you a table
or a drink... at the table?
Actually, I was wondering--
-Would it be okay...
-Yeah, no, of course.
At the bar, you can--
Open seating.
So you can go up
and seat yourself if you want.
I prefer the far side,
would be best.
Um.
Actually, I'm so sorry,
but would it be okay if--
Hey, friends.
What's up, buddy?
-Mind if I use your john?
-Just super quick.
-Real quick.
-Yeah.
-Go for it. Should have--
-Thanks.
I'm so sorry about that,
he'll just be in and out.
-Thank you so much.
-Don't mention it.
Who's this fucking jagoff?
-The fuck was that?
-What do you think it was?
Who the fuck died in here?
You got him good.
Passing it on.
Now, I get
what you guys are saying.
I just-- And I'm all--
I'm all for gay marriage.
I just-- I just can't get behind
guys fucking each other.
What, are you
a fucking homophobe now?
No, no, I don't give a fuck
if they're allowed to fuck
in public.
I just prefer not to see it.
Yeah, but if they're fucking
in public, you're gonna see it.
Yeah, but I don't get out
too much, Bird.
Nice.
-Can I have a couple of those?
-Yeah, right.
That'll beat us all.
What, are you smoking now?
I don't know.
Listen,
my brother, Donnie, smoked
two packs of cigarettes a day
for 50 fucking years.
And then-- Boom!
Milk truck.
You're fucked up, "milk truck,"
what the fuck
are you talking about?
It means
death doesn't discriminate.
If he wants to smoke,
let 'em smoke.
-Smoke up, Johnny.
-I will.
No wonder
you're not fucking married.
Who says I'm not married,
I got a wife.
Yeah, where's she at?
You're here every fucking day.
-She's in the car.
-She's in the fucking car?
We've been here for seven hours.
She's been in the car
for seven fucking hours?
I couldn't get
a close enough spot,
-I had to park in the tow zone.
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you, jagoff.
It's to you anyway,
let's go, kid.
-Hold him or fold him.
-Come on, kiddo.
I gotta get the fuck
out of here.
-What?
-I'm out.
-What, what are you doing?
-I know.
-Ah, come on, Ray-Ray.
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Where are you going?
-I'm tired.
-Where are you going?
-I'm tired.
Fuck, we'll see.
Go sleep in the car
with his wife
for a while, dude,
come right back.
You don't know
what you're missing.
Yeah.
See you, Ray.
Take care.
What the fuck's he
all gloom and doom about?
Ah, his old lady
just got rid of him.
What the fuck's
he got to be depressed about?
Look at him.
Look, if I was a broad,
I'd be all over him.
I'd be bouncing on him
like a fucking pogo stick.
He'd have to beg me
to stop.
Vin, are you gay?
No, no, I don't think so,
but just in case,
don't tell my wife.
Over your balls,
get the fuck out of here.
Come on,
let's finish this fucking game.
Ray, Ray, are you home?
What's up?
Go freshen up, buddy,
we're celebrating.
What's the occasion?
What the fuck is that?
Friends of yours?
-Parents.
-Oh.
What does that make you?
The plus one.
Well, I'm Lindsay.
I'm so--
Yeah, I'm-- I'm sorry. I'm Ray.
Lindsay, nice to meet you.
I know. You don't remember me?
Your boyfriend came in
to use the bathroom, right?
Cousin.
He's a little asshole.
So, is this, uh,
a new regular for you?
You watching your best friends
live happily ever after?
Was this supposed to be
your fairy tale or something?
-How would you--
-Yeah, same.
I know you.
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
Not to sound like
a creep or anything,
but I've been watching you.
And you are quite oblivious.
I am?
- Yeah.
- To what?
To what's going on around you.
Am I ugly?
-What?
-I came in again,
and you served me and I wrote
my number on a napkin.
Oh, you did? Then I--
Well, then I must have missed--
You threw it out.
I'm sorry-- No, I'm sorry.
If I did, it was an accident.
It's okay.
You definitely
seemed preoccupied.
I've been there.
Like, the lights are on,
but nobody's home.
Yeah, thanks for telling me.
I'll-- I'll be more...
present next time.
Okay.
I love this movie.
Who doesn't want a little
Patrick Swayze in them,
you know?
Hey.
Do you want to get out of here?
What? Come on.
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
-What the hell was that, Ray?
-Yeah, are you crazy?
What are you
talking about?
Did she just
ask you to go?
Like...
Why did you stay here, papi,
when that pretty girl
just asked you to go with her?
No, not really. She was...
She knows,
she was being nice.
Women are not that nice, Ray.
Drunk...
That's our boy.
Do you live
in the neighborhood?
Yeah, um, Streeterville.
It's my dad's place.
Oh, you live with your dad?
Not anymore.
So it's just you?
Could get lonely, no?
What's wrong with that?
Nothing. Just, sometimes
when I'm-- when I'm by myself,
I have a hard time finding
to do stuff... with myself.
Maybe you think too much.
You'd be surprised, uh,
solitude can be peaceful
and addicting.
Oh, thank you.
So...
What's your story?
Not much.
Grew up
down the street from the bar,
moved into a place across
the street from the brewery.
With your dance partners?
Uh, with my ex.
Ex-girlfr-- My ex-girlfriend.
-That's, you know, that's, uh...
-Mmm. Another story?
...over.
Well, do tell, young lady.
Do tell.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you!
-Tonight...
-Mm-hmm.
...you came and sat
next to me at the bar.
Why?
Why'd you come after me?
Because
you seemed like a nice guy.
Well, it was dark,
and I-- I couldn't let you
walk alone
in the dark, you know?
Why's that?
Are you afraid of the dark?
No. No.
Are you?
Sweetie,
I'm not afraid of anything.
You're deflecting.
You're the one that picked up
a random guy from a bar
to interview him
about his breakup?
Come on! I'm a great listener.
Um...
Nobody likes a sob story, okay?
Try me.
Lindsay.
-I would never...
-Spy on me in the shower?
You were out and wrapped up,
and I couldn't-- I couldn't even
see anything if I want--
Even if I wanted to.
Which I didn't, so...
Oh, so you don't
want to see me naked?
I mean, I-- I don't--
don't want to see you naked,
of course, yes,
I'd like-- I'd like to see you
naked if you wanted me to, if--
you know, someday.
Can you see now?
I can, and you're...
You're very... clean.
Hungry?
Excuse me?
For dinner.
Yes, definitely,
definitely, yes.
Yes, uh, I'm-- I'm--
I'll go hang out--
Sit down. I'll be right out.
Ready?
Good-looking guy.
He certainly was.
It's just my dad and I.
So, when he passed,
I moved in with my cousins.
One big, loud family.
- Sounds familiar.
- Yes.
I think
it's a Midwest thing.
But it was just
my dad and I, so...
When he died, it was...
It was, like, more
than losing your dad.
It's like
losing your best friend.
Everybody loved him.
And wherever
he went in the city,
somebody knew him.
No, I swear to God,
no matter where it was,
I left with at least
two or three more uncles
that I never knew I had.
And you always knew
when he entered a room,
because he'd go up
to every single person.
Even if you didn't know him,
you wanted to.
And he'd be shaking your hand
before you even got a chance
to look over your front
and be like,
"Who the fuck is this guy?"
And then, uh,
I don't know,
we'd just hang out all night
and slip out the back door
before anyone even noticed.
I always thought
it was kind of rude, but...
He always said,
nobody needs a long goodbye.
I like that.
Yeah.
He taught me
to always live in the now,
and to be present
for the ones that you love.
That's some advice
everybody should hear.
Yeah.
It's just nice.
Yeah, yeah, it's...
Yes, it's-- it's nice.
It's a little oasis
within the city,
I like to call it.
Oh. It's beautiful.
Yeah, it's nice, it's beautiful.
Yeah, it's so peaceful.
-Sylvia.
-Yes, Mickey?
How do you call your lover boy?
Come here, lover boy!
And if he doesn't answer?
Oh lover boy.
-And if he still
doesn't answer?
-I simply say...
"Ray, it's Cecilia.
I know this message
may come as a shock,
but I was hoping we could
talk on the phone soon.
Hope you're well."
You throw the fucking ball,
catch the fucking ball.
What's the matter with you?
Don't make it a thing, okay?
Cecilia texted me.
-Yeah, fuck you.
-Fuck you.
She's still alive?
What'd she say?
Nothing.
-She wants to talk.
-Now she wants to talk?
-That's what I said.
-To her?
What? No, to you.
I haven't talked to her yet.
Good. Don't. Delete it.
-Hey, what about Coco?
-What about Coco?
Why are you always
bringing Coco into this?
What, they're still friends,
aren't they?
What, you think she's just
not seeing Cecilia anymore?
No.
Sure, I guess.
She is, Ray.
Come on, don't be so
damn oblivious all the time.
What, I'm supposed to tell Coco
who she can
and cannot hang out with?
-Why not?
-Because I'm not you.
Then what am I?
-A dick.
-Then what's that make Coco?
I mean, would a real friend
be sneaking behind your back
to hang out with a cheater?
No, she wouldn't.
So she shouldn't.
Because that's fucked up.
I'm not going to burn
another bridge.
Yeah, well, if standing up for
yourself burns another bridge,
then fuck that bridge.
And Coco knows
not to talk about my life.
Especially with Cecilia.
That's what they do, Ray.
How would you know?
Because that's what we do.
You think
it's any different over there?
Everybody talks, everybody's
in each other's shit.
Especially when you think
they're not, they are.
I mean, fuck, she could
at least fill Cecilia in
on what you've been up to.
Which is?
Lindsay?
Weird timing, don't you think?
All right, fine, maybe
she didn't hear about that shit.
But I'm telling you,
women have a sixth sense
-for these fucking things.
-You've got a sixth sense
with everybody, bro.
I think you
should fucking move out.
I think you should
mind your business.
You're my fucking business.
I mean, come on, you ever
want to get over this chick?
It can't be Coco and Alex
-and Baby fucking Huey--
-I said shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
I know, all right?
I know you love your roommates.
This Lindsay chick,
she's pretty fucking incredible.
But until your past
is really behind you,
you'll always be reminded of it
and surrounded by it.
Everyone needs to move on
just as much as you do.
Just fucking let 'em.
Hey, I've been meaning
to ask you guys, uh...
Do you think it's time for me
to get out of your hair?
What do you mean?
Like, your own space.
Around-- around here.
You mean move out?
But why? We're family.
We are. We are family, but...
Yeah, I don't wa--
I don't want to overstay
my welcome with you guys.
You were here first,
if anyone should leave,
-it should be Alex.
-Wha--
Okay.
Yeah.
Just checking.
Something else on your mind?
Uh, yeah. I-- I--
I didn't want to bring it up.
But, um...
Cecilia texted me.
-What? Now?
-When?
What about?
Did you-- did you guys talk?
No, of course not.
Because you didn't want to?
Why should he?
I'm not saying that he should.
I'm just asking why.
Because fuck her. That's why.
- Babe?
- I'm sorry, man.
I mean, she's your friend,
but this is bullshit.
-Okay--
-She should know better.
This has
nothing to do with you, Alex.
Look, it really--
it doesn't even matter,
because I have
zero interest in her anyways.
She want to talk?
She should come to our doorstep,
on her knees,
where she left you.
Okay, relax.
Come on, I mean,
she knows where to find Ray.
Where is she?
Listen, buddy.
You don't need
anything from her.
Okay.
I know we don't talk
about this a lot,
but I am still
friends with Cecilia, okay?
So I don't think there needs
to be any sort of shaming.
What happened to Ray
was disgusting,
and I would never
condone that behavior.
But, I mean, this was--
this was tough for everybody.
And I just feel like
if you're punishing someone,
you're just going to end up
feeling bitter--
Oh, come on. Come on. Punishing?
Ask him who's punishing who.
-Ask him.
-Okay, well,
if you would let me finish,
I think a big part
of the healing process
is to forgive and forget.
Let me see
if I get this straight.
Cecilia needs Ray
to forgive her,
so that she can feel better?
He doesn't need
to forgive her for her.
I mean,
you can forgive her for you.
Which she can still do.
I mean, buddy,
you know how to continue
living your best life?
Just part ways with those
who threaten it.
That's what closure is,
Einstein.
Yeah, but what does
she need it for?
Are you telling me that
even if you couldn't
stand the sight of someone,
you wouldn't just
suck it up for two minutes?
Even if you genuinely knew
it would make his or her
life a little bit better?
I mean, wouldn't that
make you feel better?
Bitterness and-- and--
and jealousy
doesn't do anyone
any good whatsoever.
And I know you would,
Alex, because I know you.
What did you mean by everybody?
What?
You said it's been tough
for everybody.
Who?
Those who care about you.
Your family and Bird and...
me.
I didn't realize
I was such a burden.
What? No-- no, you're not.
I just meant that
you're not alone in all of this.
I mean, we all lost.
What did you lose?
Are you serious?
Just curious.
Okay. Well, I've been stuck
in the middle of all of this.
I know you lost your girlfriend
and I wouldn't compare the two,
but I think
we're forgetting here
that I was best friends
with Cecilia.
I mean, we all were, weren't we?
You could have went with her.
Ray, I didn't want to.
Well, I'm sorry
you felt so stuck.
I know the feeling.
But at least
you both had a choice.
You didn't lose
your best friend.
You lost your roommate
and you gained a bunkmate.
I lost my best friend.
Along with everything else.
"Ray,
by the time you're
reading this,
I've been lying awake
at night curious
if you've made it this far.
I've thought about
what I'd say to you,
and how I'd say it
for a long time now,
but to be honest
picturing you now
has made me forget everything.
There hasn't been a single day
that I haven't
thought about you, Ray,
and what I did to you.
I want to say I'm sorry,
but I'd like to hope
that you already knew that.
I hope you saw my silence
as respect for you.
Every day seemed too soon,
always too late.
I'm sorry
if I was wrong about that.
I love you, Ray.
I always will.
Please know this.
Yours forever and always,
Cecilia."
"P.S. I'll be at the diner
this Saturday at 10 a.m.
I'll wait for you."
Hey, what are you thinking?
What am I thinking?
I'm not thinking. Why?
You seem off.
I just didn't like
the movie too much.
I'm sorry,
it's nothing, it's just...
roommate stuff.
Okay, well...
you don't have to talk about it,
but when you do, I'm all ears.
Thanks.
Hey, Ray, wait.
Um...
If you wanted to get away,
I'm gonna go
to the lake this weekend,
so you should come.
-The lake?
-Yeah, uh, Lake Geneva.
Some of my old family friends
have a place on the water,
so we could just get on
the train Saturday morning.
Yeah, sounds good.
I'm gonna-- I'll let you know.
Okay, bye.
Uh, Ray.
Wait.
Yes?
Can I ask you something?
What are we?
What do you mean?
I mean, are we together?
I think we're dating
each other, right?
Okay, but like, just each other?
-What are you getting at?
-I'm-- I'm just interested in
what you think
this might be.
I think--
I think we're hanging out
and having fun,
which is what dating is.
Okay, but are we hanging out
and having fun
with other people as well?
No, no. What, no-- are you?
Would you be upset if I was?
I mean, I-- no, I, no-- I guess
I wouldn't--
shouldn't be surprised, no.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
What, what? Would-- would you?
I-- I don't know,
I thought that...
Yes, Ray,
I would be upset if you were.
Okay, I just,
I- I thought that maybe...
You thought what?
Ray, we just had sex.
-I know we just did.
-We've been having sex
and going out
and you're introducing me
to your family
and your friends and,
and we're spending
a lot of time together.
I know, and I love it.
Okay, so wouldn't that
be weird if I was doing
that exact same thing
with somebody else
and you didn't know about it?
I want you
to roll your own roll, dude.
Okay, dude,
I do roll my own roll.
Okay, then what's the issue?
I don't want to do all of that.
-Then what do you want?
-I want you, Ray.
We're here right now.
I don't mean literally.
You mean exclusively.
And I-- I just--
Lindsay, I'm-- I'm--
That-- it's too complicated
for me right now
to be into something like that.
Christ, I'm not asking you
to marry me.
-Okay, then what are you asking?
-I'm asking you,
where do you see this going?
I thought it was going okay.
Okay, so did I
until a minute ago.
Well, you think
you're the only person
in the entire world who's
ever experienced a heartbreak?
Look, I know you.
That's why I get you.
I don't need you to get me.
-Okay, I'm not saying, I just--
-No, no,
but what are you trying to say,
what are you trying to say?
I-- I just thought
I could fix you.
I don't need you
to fucking fix me, Lindsay.
God.
Go home.
Fine.
Fuck her, I'm so sick of you
moping around here.
So bent out of shape
for some bitch
that kicked you to the curb.
I love you, Ray.
Meet me at the fucking diner.
Now she thinks
she can just waltz back in
like nothing fucking happened.
What, Lou dawg, am I wrong?
Oh, suddenly nobody
has anything to fucking say?
Hey, Dr. Phil,
you're fucked up.
- Go home.
- God.
You're letting this girl
run your fucking life,
and look at me now.
I'm even
fucking talking about her.
Fuck Coco.
That fucking bitch.
Is she--
You call her your best friend?
She's fucking
Cecilia's best friend.
You're fucking bringing
her around your house
when you're fucking here.
She can't fucking meet her
at a fucking coffee shop,
or Cecilia's house
for that fucking matter?
Oh no, probably not.
'Cause she's still fucking
shacked up with that bitch
she fucking left you for.
This is exactly what I was
fucking talking about.
They always come back,
and here she is,
she's coming back, and
you're fucking falling for it.
And now old Ray's back,
and you'll get back together
and blah, blah, blah,
until it happens again
like a broken fucking record.
Now she wants to talk?
That bitch should have
thought of that
before she sucked off
the bartender
and came home
and kissed you goodnight.
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
Hey, hey, hey!
Yeah, there he is,
on the Dick Biondi show,
18 degrees.
The sound of music
with Dick Biondi!
I'm sorry.
Jamie wouldn't let me walk.
It's fine.
You okay?
Yes.
I just-- I-- I'm-- sorry
for dragging you out and, and...
...for everything, really.
I'm sorry.
That's what I'm here for.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm-- I'm sorry, Ray.
Why? Why? Not-- it's not--
It's not your fault. It's--
It's--
It's not your fault.
It's just--
Goal!
Shrimp?
Bird called looking for you.
Said nobody
can get you on the phone.
Taking a day off.
He's just worried
about you, you know?
With this whole Cecilia thing.
Don't need to worry about it.
Me? Oh, no,
I'm-- I'm not worried.
Will you go?
Go where?
Maybe.
For some closure, why not?
If that's what you need.
Do what you want.
What, you don't think
I should go?
It's not up to me.
If you think
you should go, then go.
I sense a "but."
But you don't need to go.
Let me ask you something.
If she hadn't wrote
you that letter,
if she hadn't asked you
to finally fucking meet
after all this time,
would you still go?
If she hadn't asked,
we wouldn't be meeting
-in the first place, Alex.
-Exactly.
So why now?
Do what you want.
I do do what I want.
What, do you think
she wants to meet up because...
she wants me back?
Maybe not want you back,
maybe she just wants to know
that she still has you.
You know, if she wants.
Okay, I won't.
I wouldn't get back with her
even if she wanted me to. So...
If you go,
isn't that exactly
what you're doing?
Two, please.
Okay, my keys--
Who are those for?
-They look like shit.
-Yeah, so do you.
All right, I'm gonna ask.
All right?
You drink too much.
Fucking gamble too much.
Probably talk too much.
I mean, maybe there's
a lot of things I do too much.
I don't know.
You're on your way out.
-I just came...
-I know.
Me too.
So where are you headed?
It's your funeral.
I'm not afraid of anything.
Shit, neither am I,
but I still look both ways
before crossing the street.
What are you gonna do?
Me? Nothing.
I know I'm the black sheep
of the family,
but you're clearly
the village idiot.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you.
-Just hear me out for a second.
-I do-- I don't want to.
What, you're in such a rush you
can't spare two fucking minutes?
Look, man.
It's not easy watching
somebody you love get hurt.
And I'm your fucking brother.
So if there's even the slightest
chance I can do something
to make sure that shit's
not gonna happen, I'm doing it.
And I know how you feel,
because I feel that shit too.
I wish I didn't, but I do.
You don't have to feel that way
if you don't want to.
I don't want to.
I know you don't.
So don't.
These smell like piss.
Just give me
the fucking flowers.
Hey, how about a lift?
-You wanna grab a drink before?
-No.
Just checking.
Look, it was wrong of me
to assume
that I would be the one
to help you move on.
So, I'm sorry.
And I was wrong about that.
Nah.
You're right.
And I have...
some serious fixing to do...
of my own.
On my own.
Hey.
Come on.
You're such a catch, Lindsay.
And for some reason,
you are attracted to my baggage.
You don't deserve
a half-assed boyfriend.
And I think I need to learn
to be there for myself
before I can be there
for anybody else right now.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't usually handle
rejection this well,
so you should consider
yourself lucky.
Nothing like a last kiss.
So.
What's next for Baby?
Come in here.
Raymond. Did you do this?
Yeah, Ray, what is this?
Dinner.
For two?
And so goes the story
of a catastrophic breakup.
Which led to a subtraction,
an addition, an addiction,
an adoption, a couple more
heartfelt connections,
some more breakups,
breakdowns, but eventually
introduced me to the one person
I had always known,
but I guess never really met.
And whom I've finally
come to realize
is not such a bad
guy after all.
Yeah, well, maybe
if you put on your chapstick
you wouldn't get herpes.
It's not fucking herpes.
Hey, you must be the new guy.
Hey, I'm Blake,
this is my sister Paige.
Uh, Brother,
why do you always feel like
you have to introduce me?
Stop!
-Hey.
-Hi.
-I'm Paige.
-Nice to meet you guys, I'm Ray.
Hey, Ray, we actually
have a third roommate.
Her name's Halle.
She's parking the car right now.
Maybe you'll meet her.
-Nice meeting you, man.
-Yeah, nice meeting you, guys.
-Take care.
-Take it easy.
Hey. You're the new neighbor.
-I'm H--
-Halle.
I-- I think
I just met your roommates.
Oh, that's a relief.
So, it's just you?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Ray.
Hi. Must be nice living alone.
Can you afford that?
Uh, ask me in 29 days.
Yeah, maybe I will.
So, it's just you three?
Uh, yeah, for now.
I-- I think. Uh...
I just got out of a really long
relationship and we go way back,
so they just
welcomed me with open arms.
I'm sorry.
I don't know
why I told you that.
No. No, no, it's okay.
It's good-- it's good
to talk about those things.
Yeah, well...
nobody likes a sob story.
That's our boy.
Cheers me.
Good, perfect,
let's just reset
and go right back into it.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Oh, perfect. Cut.
Where is she? Where is she at?
Where-- where is she,
where is she--
Where is she?
Where's she at?
Where's she at? Yeah.
How come you didn't--
Where-- wait, stop.
Where-- all right. Where is she?
Where's she at?
How come
you're here every day?
She's in the car.
- Don't think about it.
- Heard.
Fuck it.
We'll do it live. All right.
Came home
to kiss you goodnight--
You know, fuck--
- All right, awesome.
- Yeah, that's a cut.
Hey, thanks for the tip
on the taint.
It's been a hot
motherfucking summer.
You're singing
to the choir, Lou.
Now lean
to the left, right.
Lean to the left,
now go back right.
No, now go left.
Great.
- Action.
- Try me.
- Oh. That's right--
- Okay.
- I've been smiling--
- I think we're ready.
Please help me, so you
can go play ice hockey.
Why are you busting
my fucking balls?
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
Turn that shit off.
I'm just kidding.
I really love you, man.