This Is I (2026) Movie Script
[gentle piano music playing]
- [people chatting]
- [camera clicking]
[interviewer] You're participating
in the Miss International Queen pageant.
Please tell our audience how you feel.
I'm so nervous, but I'm so excited
to take the throne today.
- [camera clicking]
- You're really sure about yourself?
- [contestant] Yes.
- [woman 1] Let me get one brush.
- [woman 2] Water?
- [man1] No. Right here. One more touch.
[woman 3] All right. No problem.
[gentle music builds]
Excuse me! Move aside, please! Move aside!
Large object coming through!
You found it.
- Excuse me.
- [costumes jangling]
- [woman 4] Excuse me.
- [man 2] That's your chair.
- [music soars]
- [chatting indistinctly]
[whooshing]
[exhales]
[insects chittering]
[kids playing in distance]
[upbeat pop music fading in]
[boy singing along in Japanese]
I got a new hairdo
SEIKO MATSUDA
You say I look so different
- You're looking pretty bashful
- [food sizzling]
As you walk past me
[in English] What are you doing?
Hurry up. Let's go.
- [sizzling continues]
- You heard your father. Go change.
Hmm You stupid-head!
It's almost over, let him finish.
[in Japanese]
You're always hesitating
- It's like you're behind a wall
- [full band joins in]
- [in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
- [kids shout encouragement]
[in Japanese] Open the door to summer
And whisk me away somewhere
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Summer's gonna
Open the door
And take us just the way we are
[in English] Man-woman!
You are so weird!
Okama!
Why are you all laughing?
I'm just singing a song
that I really like.
- Stop making fun of all my clothes.
- [laughing]
KENJI ONISHI
KIDS AMATEUR SINGING CONTESRun!
[pop music continues]
[man] Okay, next!
Ready,
set
[whistle blows]
[in Japanese] A car passes by
[panting]
We are on separate streets
[girl 1 in English] We both think
that you should ask him out.
[girl 2] What are you waiting for?
Just do it.
I got a new bra yesterday.
It's really cute.
- [girl 1] What color?
- [girl 2] Pink.
- [girl 1] Pink looks so good on you.
- [girl 3] Yeah.
[in Japanese] You say you love me
DEAR TAKESHI, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO POSITIVE
Are you serious?
FROM KENJI
TO TAKESHI
But everyone's watching me
[muffled dialogue]
How could you do that to me?
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
It's the man-woman!
DROP DEAD, LADYBOY
- [boy 1] You're so weird.
- [boy 2] He's an okama.
[boys laughing]
[boy 3] Look at that!
Hey, Kenji!
[kids playing in distance]
[Kenji] Why does everybody laugh at me?
[tender piano music playing]
[sniffling]
[sobbing quietly]
I don't get it.
What the heck even am I?
What the hell am I?
[man 1] Hey.
- You're drinking too much, Wada.
- [man 2] You're a doctor, remember?
A doctor, huh?
[chuckling] A guy like me?
Hey, didn't you quit the police hospital
right after you signed up?
[men laughing]
You're pretty odd for a skilled surgeon.
Hey! Did something happen?
[sobbing]
[man 1] All right, fine,
I'll give you one
- Nothing happened.
- [men laughing]
It's just
Surgeons don't care
about the patients they operate on.
All they care about is the surgery.
[men chatting, chuckling]
You people only care about
the body parts.
The meat.
[all laughing]
So tell us. What's your plan now, Wada?
Cosmetic surgery, I heard.
- Work for someone else.
- [all laughing]
[indistinct chatter]
It's true. You're right.
I can't save a single patient.
I just I just make people look good.
I'm a fake doctor.
[men chatter]
Tell me.
What is a doctor?
And medicine?
- I bet I think about that more than you!
- [men] Whoa!
- Hey, now!
- [men laugh, grumble]
- Oh! So much meat here.
- [man] Don't throw that!
- There's so much meat to cut up!
- [men grumbling]
[all chattering]
- [man 1] Hey, get away!
- [man 2] I'm gonna kill you!
[woman chuckles] Oh, wow.
This place is so lively.
- [man] It's so loud.
- [woman] Is that right?
- Hey.
- [woman] Hmm? What is it?
Can I, uh skip school tomorrow?
My stomach hurts.
It's not gonna hurt tomorrow.
Should I rub your tummy?
- [chuckles]
- [woman] Hmm?
Go to school.
Skipping can become a habit.
- All right.
- Mm.
What, where are you going? School?
The bathroom, stupid.
You should eat more. You hardly had any.
[all clamoring]
[clamoring continues]
Shut up and die!
- [boy 1] Shut up and die!
- [screaming]
- [boy 2] Cry all you want!
- [boy 3] Crybaby!
[boy 2] Come on! Show us! Still!
Do you have a dick or not?
- [boy 1] Yeah!
- [boy 2] Stop squirming.
[boy 3] Look at all that makeup!
Look at him! I can get these!
[screaming becomes muffled]
[coughs]
- [poignant music playing]
- [woman] What's wrong?
[Kenji] Ma'am
[rain pattering]
Can you please help me?
I can't take it anymore.
Onishi.
I'm sure you must have
some part in all of this.
- [Kenji cries softly]
- Stop being so fragile.
Try to be more masculine, all right?
[poignant music continues]
But I didn't do anything.
I was just being myself.
What am I?
Someone please help.
[footsteps echoing]
[mysterious music playing]
[gasps softly]
SHOW HOUSE
JORDAN PUB
Clouds drifting by
You're part of me
Eagle up in the sky
[lip-synching] You're part of me
Rainbow above
You're part of me
- [gasps]
- It's my journey
My life and my love
If you know what I mean
If you know what mean, yeah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah, yeah-ah-ah
- Clouds drifting way up high
- [groans]
- Hey, stop the music!
- [music stops]
- Come on, Megumi. You gotta smile more.
- All right.
- [woman] Jennifer, learn the choreography.
- Yep.
[woman] Marumi, you are doing
way too much.
- Okay.
- [woman] All right, start from the top.
Who's this?
Who are you?
[gasps]
[Kenji] I just thought
you were so beautiful.
But I had a feeling
you weren't a regular woman.
- So I got curious.
- [laughs]
You're sharp, kid.
Most people rarely ever notice
that I have a dick.
I really
My dream is to be an idol like Seiko.
What are you talking about?
Do you think I could come
work here for you?
I want to be up on stage.
I want to dance and I want to sing.
I've never
Experienced anything like it.
Ever since
Ever since I was little,
I've always wanted to wear pretty skirts,
but I had to wear pants
because I was a boy.
Everybody in my class calls me "okama."
[crying] They call me a man-woman.
It's been painful.
I started to think
that I wasn't even human.
Stop with the tragic heroine victim act.
It's the same for all of us.
Everybody has their own sob story,
a lot of them worse than yours.
You're not special.
And if you pretend you are,
you've already lost.
I know it hurts but you'll be fine.
I'll show you the ropes.
- [gasps] You mean that?
- An okama always keeps their word.
[chuckles] Never mind. They don't always.
Listen. I'll make one thing very clear.
It doesn't matter how much you do here,
you'll never become a real woman.
Okay.
Instead, what you can become is
what we call a "new half." Got it?
[gasps] Thank you very much.
[TV sportscaster] It's the top
of the fourth inning,
and the Giants are up to bat.
Neither team has managed
to score any runs
We get more surprise tests
than all the other classes.
- It's unbearable.
- [woman laughs]
So my friends
want to study at the library after school.
- [woman chuckles]
- Study at the library?
Yeah, me and my friends want
to study there.
[woman] Mm.
[laughs]
[TV continues chattering in background]
That's fine.
You're a man. Do it right.
I will.
Really? You've never studied
in your life. Not that I know of.
You better shut up.
[boy laughs]
Mm.
[chuckles] Your kimpira is delicious, Mom.
- [mom chuckles]
- Kenji, you're so dedicated.
Let's see.
Will my grandson be
a doctor? A minister?
- [chuckles] Do your best.
- [boy] That's impossible.
[woman] Hey now. Don't say that to him.
He's trying as hard as he can.
[hopeful music playing]
[sighs] I'm sorry, Grandma.
I don't think I'm going to become
a doctor or a minister.
I'm going to be a new half.
- [Megumi] Did you get another boob job?
- Hah, You're just jealous of me, babe.
- Yeah, right.
- I picked up my prescription yesterday...
- Come on!
- [pills rattle]
[Megumi] How many pills are you taking?
- Five a day.
- [all] What?!
- Five? Are you feeling okay?
- That's a reaction.
- I'm throwing up every day.
- I bet you are.
- [woman 1] That's awful.
- But my boobs are growing. See?
- Dream come true.
- [woman 2 humming]
- [woman 3] You feel like a real woman.
- [woman 4] It's worth it!
[woman 1] I get it, girl!
Oh yeah?
Wow, this doesn't sound like you at all.
[woman 1] It may not look like it,
but I get hormone shots
like a machine gun.
I still prefer my hormones from eating
yakiniku rather than pills though.
Hormones, hormones, hormones!
[all] Hormones, hormones,
hormones, hormones!
Place this carefully backstage,
then go to Aki's place.
Then and then um
[sharp inhale]
Hey, newbie.
Take this.
It's for our prescriptions.
Oh. O okay.
[cars passing by]
- [background chatter]
- [music playing in distance]
- [passersby chattering loudly]
- [bicycle bell ringing]
I'm so pretty!
- Hey, what a cutie!
- Oh, you're right.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[announcer] Please enjoy
Miss Yamashita Kumiko's
"Sekido Komachi Doki."
[in Japanese] The crimson sun
- She scorches, she burns
- [man whistles]
[in English] Hey Miss!
Wanna grab some tea?
[in Japanese] Even the shimmering heat
- Comes alive when she walks by
- [men cheering]
With her prim little face
- Her gaze
- [laughing]
Is the mirror image of summer
Tilting her chic sunglasses
Her eyes meet yours
- [in English] Okay!
- Ooh!
[in Japanese] And she's got you
Burning with nerves
She derails your train of thought
- She's gonna set your fuse on fire
- [crowd cheering]
Your jagged heart
Might tear apart in a jagged way
[all singing along]
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator
[all] Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
- [girl in English] Here you go.
- Thank you!
- Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
- [all cheering]
[all singing along in Japanese]
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator
[all] Whoo! Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
[giggling]
Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
- [all cheering]
- [music ends]
[giggling]
[humming happily]
[somber music playing]
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
COSMETIC AND PLASTIC SURGERY
[ominous tones droning]
[gasps]
[woman in English] I already told you
I'm fine with that!
[Wada] I'll repeat myself again.
There's no point in messing
with your eyes any further.
If anything, your eyes will stay
as swollen as they are now.
Would you rather have
pig eyelids or double eyelids?
[woman] I told you my whole story.
And that's all you have to say to me?
Give me a better answer!
I'm giving you this advice
for your own good!
Who did this work on your nose, anyway?
Sue them, get compensation,
and then I'll try to fix it.
We're done here.
You're the worst ever!
I'll find a different doctor!
Think it over.
They'll just take your money!
[footsteps retreating]
Great.
[woman] I'm sorry.
[Wada sighs]
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
PREMARIN - JORDAN PUB
We are so beautiful,
don't you think? [Chuckles]
That's a stupid question.
- It was rhetorical.
- What?
I was talking to myself in the mirror.
You finally found someone
who will listen to you? [Laughing]
You should try to be
more like me. [Laughing]
- [Megumi laughs] No, thanks.
- [Jennifer] Oh, please. This girl.
I swear.
I'm sorry.
I heard an uncomfortable conversation
I got scared, so I left our card.
You bailed?
- Well, that doctor's kind of rude.
- [gasps] Okay, girl!
The dress is cute on you! Right?
Thank you very much!
- [Jennifer] Mm-hmm.
- You better enjoy it while you can.
Won't be long
before you're bulging everywhere.
I was as thin as you are. Before.
The ones who bloom slowly at first
tend to grow a lot later on.
- [Jennifer] You grew way too much.
- [Marumi] Who, me?
[Jennifer] You know.
[Marumi] You said that!
[Jennifer] What did you eat
to get that big?
[wistful music playing]
[sighs]
[pills rattling]
[gagging]
[gasping]
[retching]
[gasping]
[toilet flushes]
[mom] What's wrong, Kenji?
Do you feel sick?
I ate something bad.
I feel a lot better now.
- But you look pale.
- [Kenji] I'll be fine.
Please get some rest. Good night.
Hey, kid. You've had way too much.
I'm not talking about alcohol. The pill.
It'll mess you up.
[sniffs]
I'm sorry.
I'll be careful.
As long as you understand.
Lecture's over. Go on.
Wait, kid. Come back. I have more to say.
What is it?
Your debut. You've been selected.
[exhales] Do you mean that?
"Ai." How about that?
Ai?
It's your new name.
Kenji never really suited you.
I want "Ai" to be truly loved, kid.
Ai.
- [knife chopping]
- Where's Kenji?
He's been coming home really late.
[TV chattering]
[dad] He even dropped out of high school.
What's he thinking?
[mom] Ask him yourself
if you're so worried.
Idiot. That's a mother's job.
[boy] Is this yours, Mom?
- Hmm?
- [boy] I found it on the floor.
[TV continues chattering softly]
- I don't own anything this flashy.
- [boy] What?
Well I guess
No, no, no, not mine.
I would never.
Nope, I'm determined
never to cheat on you. Yeah...
- Why would you say that?
- [laughs] Can't believe dad said that.
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
- [distinct music echoing]
- [whooping]
[cheering]
[lively music playing with female vocal]
[loud pop]
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[loud pop]
[loud pop]
[crowd cheering, whistling]
- [loud pop]
- [laughter]
[loud pop]
- [song ends]
- [crowd cheering]
Will you all pardon me?
I know y'all want my balls!
[laughter]
What a weird place.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[lip-synching to lyrics in Japanese]
Single footsteps in the sand
A little free time to myself
I turn around
To a strange figure
Off in the distance
He rushes toward me on the shore
Suddenly a chill runs down my back
It is the sweet premonition of love
Coming over me
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
With a touch of giddy
And beckoning us in
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
In my eyes
This vision of you
[music fades]
[indistinct chatter]
Can you tell me what you do for work?
I'm a doctor.
Amazing.
[chuckles]
Hey. Hey, doctor.
How was my performance?
How was it?
It's just today was my debut.
It was
You shined so brightly.
Shining like a star.
You seemed so true to yourself.
It was like you were born to be on stage.
[chuckles]
I'm a little drunk. [Laughs]
[muffled retching]
[retching]
[coughing, gasping]
- [wistful music playing]
- [delicate chime tinkling]
[panting, shuddering]
[crying]
[indistinct chatter]
[Ai] My mom made me
a beautiful skirt to wear.
[Wada] Really?
You actually wore it
to the singing contest?
Yeah, and the boys were all laughing.
They called me "gross."
And said I was a weirdo.
Weird.
What?
Well,
I think
being weird means that nobody accepts you.
So if even one person accepts you
you're not weird.
[chuckles]
That sounds cheesy.
I've never heard anything as nice as that.
Doctor, I kind of have a favor to ask you.
Okay, go ahead.
- I can't lend money, but something else...
- No, that's not it.
- Cut my balls off.
- [chokes]
Your balls?
Uh, you mean testicles.
Mm.
I looked it up.
I read that
male hormones are made there, aren't they?
Which would mean
They're what makes me masculine.
If that's true getting rid of them...
Will make you more feminine.
Will you?
Well, technically it's not impossible.
But you're thinking about this too simply.
There's the Eugenic Protection Law.
Orchiectomies aren't common.
Doctors have been arrested
for operating without permission.
Well I don't want you to get arrested.
I just kind of
I always hoped that someday
those balls hanging
from my body would fall off.
That's when I would become my true self.
But they haven't yet.
It's just that no matter
how much time passes, they won't.
I'm even growing a beard now.
[sighs]
And my voice deepened.
I can't handle it.
I hate it.
I can't live like this.
It's awful.
[gentle music playing]
[brake engages]
[engine stops]
Doctor.
[Wada] Why are you here?
Obviously, I want to get
a surgery consultation.
I just need a little more time, okay?
Doctor!
[water trickling]
[Ai giggles]
Doctor. The surgery.
You can't do this on whim! Understand?
- [sighs]
- [music fades]
[tender piano music playing]
This is the end of your treatment.
You did a great job.
Wait. Doctor.
- You're releasing me as your patient?
- Hmm. That's right.
You can't leave me like this.
Please fix it.
[voice breaking] My face isn't done yet!
[doctor] The surgery was a success.
You should be grateful that you survived.
Not like this.
[sobbing] I can't live like this! I can't!
[sobbing continues]
[music fades]
Doctor, is there something wrong?
You look so serious.
What does it mean
to save someone's life?
[woman] What?
No, never mind. I'm sorry.
[Ai] Doctor.
Ai.
I'll do it.
I'll do your surgery.
You mean it?
Knowing you,
you'll keep pestering me until I agree.
But there are conditions.
Conditions?
You're going to have to tell
your parents, Ai.
Even if you can't tell them
about the operation,
you must tell them about how you feel.
[soft music playing over PA]
[man] This is so sweet.
I'm so gonna get hit.
- What? What'd ya do?
- Nothing. Just keep eating, all right?
[snickers] Something's going on.
I don't know what.
- [entry bell jangles]
- Yum.
[door closes]
- Hey.
- [brother] Hey.
Dad? Where's Mom?
Oh, she said she has
a neighborhood meeting.
- Got it.
- [dad] Mm.
[sighs]
Hey, um
Can you go to that seat over there?
Why?
Can I order a cream anmitsu?
- Yeah. [Chuckles]
- All right!
What did you want to tell me?
Hurry up, the race is about to start.
Okay. I'll say it quick then.
I uh
Yes?
- This might kinda surprise you
- Uh-huh?
I, uh
I want to live as a girl.
I know I was born a boy,
but I want to live as a girl from now on.
[bellows]
Do what you want.
You've already made your decision.
So do it.
Wait a sec.
Did you know already?
I am your father. No matter what.
I thought you'd be more
masculine if I made you play baseball.
I'm sorry.
Just promise me one thing.
What is it?
Never regret your decision, all right?
And take care of yourself.
If you're a man, then be the best man!
That's three things to promise, not one.
And
I just told you
I'm going to live as a girl.
- Huh?!
- All right, fine.
I promise it all.
Oh and
[exhales] don't tell
your mother about this.
I think it'll break her.
Are you having second thoughts?
No.
Except
I feel bad for my mom.
She gave birth to a healthy baby.
We can stop.
Mm-mm.
I'll apologize to her someday.
Doctor.
Hmm?
I'm glad you said that you'd help.
There's no one else I would want here.
Why me?
Because of what you said.
Hmm.
That I shine like a star.
And that
[laughs softly] made me really happy.
I want you to know something.
In my eyes, you're not weird.
[chuckles]
I'm really glad to hear that.
I want to be
Ai, the idol.
Like Seiko, who's my idol.
To be an idol of idols.
[tender music playing]
- [air hissing]
- [monitor beeping]
[exhales]
You'll be one.
Because you're you.
[breathing echoes]
[music intensifies]
[all gasp]
[Megumi] Oh, it's swollen like a balloon.
Even if you take the balls,
the sack's still there.
- My God. It looks like that
- [Marumi] What?
- You know that
- What?
- I've got a picture of it.
- What?
It doesn't look like anything.
- You wait.
- [Marumi] What does it look like?
[Jennifer] Where did I put that picture?
Where is it? Where did I
What's going on here?
[Megumi] Ai took out her balls.
- Get a good look, isn't this special?
- [Aki] Ha.
- [Megumi] Come here!
- There you are.
Aw! It looks just like that
you girls know, that raccoon dog!
- [Jennifer] That's what I thought!
- Oh yeah!
- [Jennifer] This!
- [all laughing]
[Aki] They look exactly the same!
No, wait! Please don't say that!
Ai.
How's it make you feel, huh?
How do I feel?
[breathing heavily]
It's like I've been liberated!
- Oh really?!
- [all laughing]
[Marumi] You said that!
- [Aki] Let's go out for drinks!
- [all whooping]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[woman on recording vocalizing]
[all chanting] Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
- [Jennifer] Go, Ai! Go, Ai! Go, Ai!
- [woman] Yes, queen!
[liquid bubbling]
[crowd cheering]
[lip-synching to lyrics in Japanese]
Dipping my feet in the icy fountain
Looking up at the skyscrapers
Wearing my favorite clothes
There's nothing wrong with that
Gripping the golden handlebars
Racing through the town
Doing all these fun things
I want to see
What it really looks like
And not just through an old TV screen
[clamoring]
The moment the needle drops
Is the moment my heart skips
[in English] Doctor, you removed
Ai's balls, right?
So you're the famous doctor
who treats us "newhalfs."
All the Kansai okama,
they're all coming here
because you're great!
Hold still. I need it to be aligned.
[in Japanese] Even if I'm tired, hated,
Or growing old, I just can't stop
- [Jennifer in English] Your hair!
- [Marumi] You're so cute.
I could just butter you up and eat you!
[in Japanese] They're like diamonds
[screaming, cheering]
Every which way I look
I can't quite put it into words
But they are treasures
My hunch was right
It's exactly how I thought it would be
It's setting me in motion
- This feeling of mine
- Oh! Oh!
- [whirring]
- [all scream]
[in English] It's your fault!
You are guilty!
[cars passing]
Oh, Doctor.
WHAT ABOUT NORMAL PATIENTS?
DIE
[sighs] Why do people do this?
Our clients fight so hard just to survive.
A lot more than these jerks.
Excuse me. Are you with the clinic?
Yes, I am.
I'm Detective Tsuruku.
We've been getting a lot of complaints
about the noise coming
from the lines at your clinic.
I guess those unique people talk a lot.
I apologize.
I'll make sure we keep the noise down.
Appreciate it.
Isn't it tough to keep control
of so many strange freaks?
Don't call them that.
[laughs] Well then.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [muffled music playing]
Ai, you're unbelievably cute, ya know.
- Takuya, you do know, right?
- Huh?
I'm not a normal kinda girl.
I don't care about that.
[Ai moaning softly]
Ah!
I want you so bad right now.
Wanna live together?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes!
- [Ai giggling]
- Really?!
- You promise?
- Uh-huh. [Laughing]
- [crowd cheering]
- [Takuya] Oh. I'm on. See you later, okay?
- [Ai] Okay.
- All right!
[Ai] Mm.
- I'm serious! [Grunts]
- [Ai giggling]
Sorry! [Blows kiss]
[Aki] Ai.
Aki.
I'm just meddling here.
But all the men who mess with new half
always go back to women.
You should be prepared for that.
[kids clamoring, playing]
[grandma] Well I'll come visit.
- Oh! I'll be lonely without you here.
- [sizzling]
- [laughs]
- He's not going abroad.
I know.
- Yeah. You better come by sometimes.
- You got it.
Hey! Aren't you coming out?
- Kenji's leaving.
- [sizzling continues]
I'm a little busy.
- See you later.
- [grandma] Mm.
- Take care. Mm.
- [Ai chuckles]
[door closes]
[kids continue playing outside]
[sharp inhale]
[Ai laughs softly]
[rock music playing]
Takuya!
- [in Japanese] Her and me!
- [both] Ah!
It's a scandal!
[both laughing]
- [grunts] Ha!
- [Ai laughs]
[in English] Nice!
- Yeah, I did!
- [in Japanese] A deadly game of love
A forbidden scandal
No matter how much I love you
- [in English] Stop!
- Come on, scaredy-cat!
[Ai and Takuya] Let's eat!
[in Japanese] We kissed by the pool
- And then you cried
- [laughing]
[in English] Oh, no.
There's ketchup on your face.
- Do you want seconds?
- Oh my God! Yeah!
[in Japanese] I can't stop loving you
Even if it's forbidden
If only I could let you go
Then you wouldn't have to...
[doorbell rings]
- [Takuya] Uh?
- [Ai] Hmm?
- [in English] Who's that?
- You don't have to answer that.
Yes, I do.
- It's all right.
- Coming!
Uh
Hello?
[train clacking]
Who is it?
- A ding-dong ditch?
- Maybe a neighbor.
- We were loud, you know.
- It's fine. Come on!
Come on and do what?
- Make out, duh!
- [giggles]
[rain pattering]
You know
I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Me too, Takuya.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
[Ai sighs] Hmm.
[Ai moaning softly]
Ai.
Can we do it tonight?
What?
- I don't
- I'll be gentle.
- Trust me.
- Huh? Wait, hold on.
No, wait.
- Takuya
- It'll be fine.
[Ai] Stop.
- It didn't work last time, remember?
- It's fine.
[Ai groaning]
- [Takuya] Don't worry.
- [Ai] It won't go in!
Ow! It hurts! [Moans]
[gasps]
[Ai gasps] I'm sorry.
[rain continues pattering]
[Takuya exhales]
Well, that kinda
killed the mood, huh?
It is what it is.
You are
who you are, Ai.
[sighs] I'm going to sleep.
[somber music playing]
[crying softly]
[thunder rumbling]
- Good work today.
- You too.
You should go home.
Uh-huh.
[woman screams]
[gasps]
What's wrong?
Dr. Wada.
Can you make me a woman?
A woman?
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't have
that kind of relationship with her.
Ai?
It's not that simple.
This is much more difficult compared
to just removing testicles.
You have to cut and invert the penis,
then create a vagina.
You don't just remove it.
You have to maintain
the excretory functions.
And the vagina needs
to withstand intercourse.
It's like we're playing God here.
And
There's a chance
you might not wake from the anesthesia.
I wonder why I missed.
What?
I had a fifty percent chance,
but I missed it.
If I were born a woman,
I wouldn't feel like this.
I wanna gamble not waking up.
Just make me the woman I am.
Even if I might die.
DOCTORS WHO PERFORMED
SEX CHANGE SURGERY
IN VIOLATION OF
THE EUGENIC PREVENTION LAW
ARE TRANSSEXUAL ALLIES CRIMINALS?
[page turning]
FOUND GUILTY OF PERFORMING
SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY
[woman] Excuse me, Doctor.
[distant siren wailing]
What do you plan to do?
Wow.
If you perform the surgery,
you might lose your license.
You might even get arrested.
[Wada] I want to do it for her if I can.
I don't have the confidence yet.
I don't know if I'm capable.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[audience cheering]
[cheering builds]
[audience clapping along]
[in Japanese] It's all coming
To me now
I am a new me
As the vessel rushes on
The white waves dance in its wake
I made a promise with you
And I'm gonna keep it
[Wada in English] I'll place
the urethra inside.
Natural lubrication could be possible.
[in Japanese] The flower
Of love in my heart
Will be accepted by you
The blue sky where the swallows fly
Is a canvas
For our dreams of the future
Free lines, free colors
We'll paint it together
[song fades]
[indistinct chatter]
[in English] I was
Scared.
Why?
If I do operate,
you might die in the middle of surgery.
But I realized something.
You might live
your whole life in a man's body.
And being trapped in that body could
someday kill both your heart and soul.
I could possibly save you from that.
But I have to gather up the courage.
I have to ensure it will be
a successful outcome.
Ai
I'll
I'll do it.
Doctor
Let me save your life
Your soul and your heart.
I'd be honored to do it.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Thank you so much.
[poignant piano music playing]
[mom] Are you okay Kenji?
You don't usually call.
Mom, you know that I
What is it?
I uh
Iforgot.
I can't remember what I wanted to say.
What's with you?
Is this a prank?
It's a prank call, you're right.
[crying softly]
I'm hanging up now.
My kinpira will burn.
I love your kinpira.
I really do.
Make me some later?
[crying softly]
It's just thrown together.
You really have no sense of taste.
I'm hanging up.
[music fades]
[machines hissing]
It's almost time.
Do you have any doubts?
Of course. A lot.
[chuckles softly]
Ai you were born in a man's body.
God just made a small mistake.
[putting on surgical gloves]
I'm going to fix that for you.
When you wake up,
you will finally be your true self.
Hey, Doctor.
Yes?
I want
I wanna go back in time
to tell my past self this
"Everything is going to be okay."
"One day, you will become a woman."
Okay. You ready?
[in Japanese] I got a new
Hairdo
You say I look so different
- You're looking
- [water rippling]
Pretty bashful
As you walk past me
[solemn music playing]
[distant screaming]
[boy] Show us!
- Shut up and die!
- [screaming continues]
[screaming fades]
[distant coughing]
[coughing, retching]
[solemn music builds]
[crying softly]
[boys yelling]
[boy] It's the man-woman!
So weird!
[boys cackling]
[music intensifies]
[boy] Hey, Kenji
[footsteps splashing]
[music subsides]
[air gusting]
[music fades]
- [rhythmic thrusting]
- [Ai moaning]
[Takuya] Ai. It feels so good.
[Ai] Takuya
[both moaning]
[distant traffic buzzing]
You were great.
You're really a woman.
What's wrong?
Tears of joy?
They're not.
Huh? They're not?
Did it hurt that bad?
Maybe I'm jealous.
Jealous?
What are you jealous of?
- Because, Takuya
- Yeah?
You looked like
you were really feeling good.
It made me think, "He wants a girl."
"He prefers women's bodies."
I wondered
what if you actually didn't like me
in my body before?
Ai, no way!
- Get that out of your head.
- I know it's stupid.
But I can't help
I can't help it if I'm jealous.
Women are very lucky.
[tender music playing]
They have bodies that men love
without doing anything special.
Hey.
Hey, Ai. Did you not enjoy it
'cause you're a woman?
You idiot.
I'm really happy now.
That's how I feel.
I'm really happy too
being with the real you, Ai.
[chuckles softly]
[crying] Takuya
[gentle music playing]
[respirator hissing]
[Wada] Vitals?
[woman] Pulse is 80, blood pressure
of 126-over-73 and breathing is stable.
[Wada] Let's begin.
- [Wada] Scalpel.
- [woman] Scalpel.
I have performed
many sex change operations,
but I believe that preventing adhesions
after surgery is a major issue.
For example, in Thailand,
they form a hard candle
and insert it into the vagina,
but it has little effect
and is a burden on the patient.
In order to protect the patients' bodies,
I would like to use
your silicone manufacturing technology.
I ask for your cooperation
in the joint development
of a dilator to prevent
the vagina from closing.
I believe that this is the key
to opening this field's advancement.
Thank you all for your consideration.
[pop music playing faintly
over car stereo]
[Takuya] Hey, my mom and dad are happy.
They've been bugging me
to let them meet you, you know.
- Are you sure they want me there?
- Yeah. They'll be glad I brought you.
I mean, it's not gonna be
formal or anything.
- [Ai] Hmm.
- Relatives will be there with their kids.
[group chatting, laughing]
[Takuya] That's when I was a kid!
Takuya's always been
such a sensitive crybaby, hasn't he?
I wouldn't have guessed that.
He hasn't shown me that side.
Come on. That's enough of that.
Oh yeah. I have plans with my friends.
- [Ai] Hmm?
- I'll be back.
- Mm-hmm.
- You can chill here.
- Be safe.
- [woman] Careful.
- All right, all right. See you later.
- [all] Bye-bye!
[Takuya] Bye.
[men laughing]
This is delicious.
[chuckles] Oh-ho-ho! Thank you.
It's time.
[all chatting]
You kids, go play outside for a bit.
[kids] Okay!
All right, let's go.
[child] All right.
[kids chatting]
It's just
Please, Ai
Break up with Takuya.
What?
You're wonderful.
You're a really good person.
I love who you are. [Chuckles]
You're beautiful and kind.
Except you can't have children.
[crying] Sorry about this.
Takuya loves children.
But if you and Takuya get married one day
He'll have one less reason to smile.
I'm sorry.
Please, Ai.
[low rushing sound]
[water burbling]
- [Jennifer] With handcuffs.
- [Megumi] Where'd this happen?
- His sister's house.
- [Megumi] Is her house a police station?
- [laughing]
- [Marumi] You said that, queen!
- [indistinct chatter]
- [distant music playing]
[sighs deeply]
[sniffs]
[footsteps approaching]
- What's wrong?
- [indistinct background chatter continues]
Is it Takuya?
[sniffles]
[sighs] Can't hide anything from you, Aki.
Okama eyes are omnipresent you know.
What's going on?
I'll be fine.
This is something I have to do on my own.
Okay.
- [Jennifer] Right? I said that!
- [Megumi] You said that.
[Jennifer] I want to make out! Long! Yeah!
- [laughs]
- [Marumi] Maybe you should call...
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
[sniffs]
Ai speaking.
[children shouting, playing]
Kenji.
Where's Grandma?
She's in her room.
Kenji.
Grandma?
[shudders]
[exhales]
Grandma.
[crying]
Grandma
Grandma
Always asked
how you were doing. [Chuckles]
- Oh, really?
- [brother chuckles]
Yeah, she really did.
[poignant music playing]
[brother] She used to say this one thing.
[Ai] What did she say?
[brother] That you were strong.
SEIKO MATSUDA
IDOL BOOK
And that you should always live
your life the way you want to.
- Hey. What does that mean?
- Takuya, I just told you everything.
Why are you packing?
- You didn't tell me everything...
- I'm packing because we're done.
I'm going to Tokyo.
Hold on! What? Hey, wait!
Ai Do you not love me anymore or what?
Takuya.
What we had was an immature mistake.
An immature mistake?
Goodbye.
[Takuya] Ai, wait! Hey!
You're just gonna leave like this?
[running footsteps recede]
[wistful music playing]
[birds twittering]
[in Japanese] When I'm all alone
I listen to my favorite song
Because Olivia
Comforts my lonely heart
My cup of jasmine tea
This sedative, lulling me to sleep
I want my day to end
The way I want it to tonight
When we first met
Never could I have imagined
A day like this would come
[in English] Making good things better
[in Japanese] No, it's already done
It's just that time has passed
You are exhausted from loving
A phantom version of me
[distant hum of traffic]
1998 TOKYO
[gentle music playing]
I'll work very hard. I'll do anything!
You were a man before?
You're not right for our agency.
I can sing and I can dance.
We would welcome you,
but you're not a woman.
Mm.
You'll never find anyone more motivated.
[chuckles] I like you a lot.
I'll introduce you to a good agency.
- Amazing!
- [man] Mm-hmm!
A sexy place.
They eat up cuties like you there.
What?
There's plenty of customers
with unique tastes. Hmm.
[hum of traffic]
[gasps] Really? That's great news!
I'm still asking around, though.
If it all works out, I can help
people like you for much cheaper.
[chuckles softly]
Awesome. You're doing so good.
[chuckles]What've you been up to?
How's Tokyo treating you?
It's treating me well.
I've been getting so many jobs.
People in Tokyo don't scare me at all.
That's good to hear.
[two knocks on door]
Oh, they need me. Sorry.
No worries. We'll talk soon.
Bye.
[distant siren wailing]
[sighs]
I'm not getting any jobs.
[doorbell rings]
Who is it?
Who is it? A prank?
Mom?
Thank you.
I'm surprised to see you.
We're divorcing.
Your dad was cheating.
He was?
I couldn't take it anymore, so I left.
I've been reflecting on a lot of things.
Even though your dad
should be the one doing that.
Are you just here to tell me that?
You're our child.
I think you can understand.
You know how I feel
as a woman.
What?
You you always were a woman, yes?
You don't have to hide it from me.
Not anymore.
I'm sorry.
I gave birth to you like that.
In the wrong body.
What are you saying?
Mom, it's not your fault.
All parents are responsible
for their kids.
When your grandma passed away,
my heart was crushed when I saw you.
You tried so hard
to dress up like a man in that suit.
You tried so hard to kill
your true self for so long.
I realized that I was the one
who made you feel that way.
But I couldn't deal with it.
That's why
I couldn't be around you at all.
I did that a lot actually.
I'd been turning away from you
since you were little.
[Ai] Have you always known?
I'm your mother. Of course I did.
All this time
I thought you hated everything about me.
Of course not.
I even went to your apartment.
I wanted to talk about everything.
I wanted to face you properly.
[rings doorbell]
- [Ai] Who's that?
- [Takuya] You don't have to answer that.
[Ai] Yes, I do.
Coming!
Hello?
- [train clacking]
- [Takuya] Who is it?
- A ding-dong ditch?
- [Ai] Maybe a neighbor.
- We were loud, you know.
- [Takuya] It's fine. Come on.
- [Ai] Come on and do what?
- [Takuya] Make out!
[sighs]
I couldn't give this to you then.
I know it's your favorite.
I'm sorry I was such a awful mother.
I'm sorry.
Why are you sorry?
I'm the one who should
Who should be sorry.
[sniffles]
[sniffles]
I
[crying]
You went through so much
to give birth to my body and I...
Don't apologize.
Whether you're a man or a woman,
you will always be my child.
My beautiful, precious child.
[both crying]
- Mom
- [gentle ballad playing]
[sniffling, crying]
[vocalizing]
Do me a favor, will you, Ai?
[in Japanese] It's a nostalgic pain
[in English] What is it?
You called me "Ai."
You didn't call me "Kenji."
Will you do my makeup?
Makeup?
Yes, Ai. I came to see you
when you performed at the club.
[laughs] You did?
[chuckles]
Yes, I did.
You were so cute in your makeup.
I am so proud of you.
[both laugh emotionally]
I admired you.
Ai, I think that you're beautiful.
[in Japanese] Why must the dreams
Lost to time
Always appear so beautiful?
That affection
Of the past is still
A sweet memory
[in English] Sweet memories
[music fades]
The files for tomorrow's counseling.
Oh. Thank you.
Doctor, aren't you tired?
You must be too.
Oh, I'm sorry, we're...
It seems like you're going all out
with this thing, huh?
What do you mean?
With all those okama.
Listen, if you just mess
with them a little, it's not a big deal.
[exhales]
You're doing too much.
How many dicks
have you cut off this month, huh?
- Please be careful with your words.
- Apologies.
It slipped.
As far as we are concerned, Wada,
we're not going to drop this.
This is a legitimate medical procedure
to save our patients.
That's not something that's
up to you to decide.
It's up to the state.
[woman laughs] What?!
You used to be a man?
Don't you think that maybe it would be
better to hide that in this business?
[chuckles softly] I want to be an idol.
And I want to do things honestly.
Mm-hmm.
I like your spunk.
We're happy to bring you on.
Mark my words. You'll be working a lot!
[gasps] Thank you very much!
[woman chuckling]
Oh, how cute!
- [giggling]
- [woman laughing]
- [pop music playing over PA]
- Hi, all! [Giggles]
I just love seeing
every one of you here today!
I'll introduce myself.
I'm Ai, and I'm here from Osaka,
now in Tokyo.
And I'm doing my best!
[kids chattering, playing]
MATSUZAKAYA
FREE CHARITY MUSIC FESTIVAL
[kids chattering in Japanese]
- [people chattering]
- [bugs chittering]
[people continue chattering]
[girl] I wanna do something fun!
What is this?!
I'm not wearing this.
[man] I don't know what to tell you.
I cleared it with your agency.
An okama doesn't get embarrassed.
Just wear it.
BOYS OVER BALLS
[woman] It's taking forever.
[wistful music playing]
What the hell am I?
- [panting]
- [monitor's alarm ringing]
- Doctor, I need you. Doctor!
- [Wada mumbles]
- [ringing continues]
- [Wada] What's wrong?
Doctor! It's a code blue!
- Step aside.
- [tense music playing]
- Open the IV. Defib. Epinephrine.
- [woman 1] Can you hear me? I'm here.
[woman 2] Okay!
[woman 1] Can you hear me?
I don't feel a pulse.
- Is the defib ready yet?
- Almost! I'm starting the ambu bag.
[alarm continues ringing]
[flat line tone drones]
[music intensifies]
[flat line tone fades into tense music]
[Tsuruku] Can you explain all of this?
Medical terms are so difficult
to understand for the average person.
[chuckles] I don't get 'em.
[music fades]
Tell me why
an okama you were operating on
suddenly died during a procedure
you perform a lot?
We haven't determined
the cause of death quite yet.
Oh
If I had to guess,
it was a complication called
ARDS from the anesthesia.
The cause of ARDS is often unknown,
so there's no way to prevent it.
Wada are you telling me
that it's not your fault?
What I'm telling you is that
that is my best guess.
As of now, that's the best I can do
for my deceased patient.
Interesting.
[inhales sharply]
Very interesting.
By the way, doctor,
I've been wondering about something.
Why would you befriend those people?
Are you into that sort of thing too?
Or maybe
You get your rocks off
with this kind of stuff, hmm?
[pounding on table]
You like cutting off men's dicks?
[laughs]
[laughs]
Not speaking now?
I've got all day for this.
[chuckling]
ANGEL NES[Megumi] Sangen-jaya?
Wow. Isn't that expensive?
I heard it's great there.
There's a lot of them. [Laughs]
[laughs] So it's different
from where you live!
[Jennifer] I mean it.
What are you laughing about?
By the way, Ai, this place is nice.
It's really cute here, I like it.
[chuckles] I was asked to work here.
I'm only part-time
because I'm busy in entertainment.
That's good. Things are going well.
Tokyo has been really great.
All right.
I have something
I want to show you, Ai.
- [Jennifer] Hmm?
- It's this.
- Ah.
- Go ahead. Look.
- Miss International Queen?
- [Megumi] Yep. Uh-huh.
They decide who's the most beautiful
trans woman in the world.
[gasps] Ai. You're adorable.
You should enter.
- Right?
- She Should!
- I'm interested, but I'm kinda busy.
- Then I'll enter!
- I will represent Japan!
- [Jennifer] No, please. You can't!
Japan will sink. [Laughing]
[Marumi] Hey girl,
what did you just say to me?!
You said that, queen!
Not again! She's been saying that forever.
[all laughing]
[Megumi] Ai, did you hear about Dr. Wada?
Hear what?
Someone died during one of his operations.
Are you serious?
[Jennifer] People have been saying
it wasn't Dr. Wada's fault,
so it should be fine.
[Megumi and Marumi] Mm-hmm.
- [Marumi] Girl, your bubbles are flat.
- [Jennifer] You made them flat!
[Marumi] Oh, no.
[indistinct chatter]
- [woman] He's here!
- Dr. Wada's here!
- [man] Dr. Wada!
- [all clamoring]
[cameras clicking]
[clamoring continues]
What do you think
about sex change surgery?
[man] We need to know!
People need to know about it!
- [reporters] Dr. Wada!
- Excuse me.
- [door opens]
- [Wada sighs]
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Who knows when we'll open
with all this going on.
Doctor, here.
- What?
- The list of patients who want surgery.
It's increased
since the beginning of this month.
This many?
Yes.
THANK YOU, DR. WADA
I'M GOING TO SHINE BRIGHFROM AI
[crowd cheering on TV]
[woman on TV in Japanese]
Is everyone well?
- [crowd on TV cheering]
- [woman laughs]
[lip-synching to woman on TV]
You are? I wonder why.
Hey, guess what?
That's right. I finally made it to Nagoya.
[woman on TV giggles]
Thank you.
[TV audience cheering, applauding]
I go on tour each and every summer,
but I was a little late this year,
and now we're in chilly November.
It's so cold, so, like, the only thing
to do now is to warm ourselves back up.
- Isn't that right?
- [in English] Hey there. [Chuckles]
- Ah! Sorry about that! [Chuckles]
- It's been a while.
Aw, I'm so happy you came!
So am I.
What were you lip-synching for?
Were you practicing? Kyon Kyon, huh?
- [Ai] Yeah.
- You remembered it perfectly.
I memorized it because
it was on every day.
Wow, you memorized it like a pro.
Oh! You should do it as a bit.
It'd be funny if you did other people too.
Who, me?
It'd be funny. I'd laugh. [Chuckles]
Oh! You're gonna be an idol,
so you don't need to be funny or anything.
Sorry if I said
something unnecessary. I forgot.
Hmm. What should I have?
Now then. Shall we get started today?
[Wada laughs]
What is it?
This time would be
better used for surgeries.
You just want
to make me the bad guy, don't you?
Without even proper investigation,
you're trying to make the cause of death
an overdose of anesthesia
because it's the most obvious.
I'm really shocked.
Do you actually think of us that way?
You know what?
I've finally realized something.
Go on.
It's not doctors who save patients.
It's the opposite.
Doctors are being kept alive by the power
of the patients' desire to live.
Right.
As a way to say thanks,
we take our jobs seriously
and try to reduce patients' suffering,
even if only a little.
Simply curing illnesses and injuries
isn't what saves them from suffering.
It's something
far more important than that.
Doctors face each and every patient
and do our best
to support them in every way!
That's the sole reason
doctors exist as a profession!
[breathing heavily]
Doctors and medical care
have always existed
since the birth of humanity.
Long before countries and laws
came to be created.
And that is exactly why we will
always be the winners in the end.
[distant siren wailing]
[gentle music playing]
It's impossible.
I can't become an idol.
But I really wanted it.
- [door opens]
- [door bells jangle]
Doctor.
[gentle music continues]
[Wada] I had some business in Tokyo.
[Ai] Are you all right?
The clinic had an accident.
[Wada] Hmm.
How about you?
Are you doing okay?
[Ai chuckles] Of course I am.
Everything's amazing.
That's great.
You made the right decision.
You're shining in Tokyo, too, then.
I'm not shining at all.
I think my light may have burned out.
[chuckles softly]
I've been struggling
Since I came to Tokyo.
What am I doing with my life?
You know, Ai
You're the one who led me on my path.
The orchiectomy.
The sex change surgery.
I'm on my path
because you shined your light on it.
Although
Your path has only led you here.
You know, I
I caused the death
Of a precious patient
who put their trust in me.
Were we doing the right thing?
Or the wrong thing?
The right thing Doctor! Absolutely!
None of it was wrong.
Neither of us made any mistakes!
You have to keep going, Doctor.
I can still do more.
I'm gonna do
more and more and more until I die!
[sobs]
We can shine.
[crying]
[Wada] I'm leaving.
I'm sorry for getting sentimental.
I've decided to resume
the surgeries tomorrow.
That's why I wanted to see you.
Bye.
[door bells jangle]
[door closes]
[pensive music playing]
[monitor beeping]
[Wada] It's over there.
[woman] Here.
- [Wada] Clip it.
- [woman] Okay.
[Kyon Kyon on TV] I still have
a long way to go.
[Ai whispering along] So if you look
from the side like this,
you can see
how they built things up one by one.
Like this.
And, you know,
all those people are standing tall,
And they are so amazing, and well,
what I'm doing is just placing
some things somewhere out on the ground.
It's so low,
you can't see the shape of it.
And you might start to wonder
what I'm doing. But
[pensive music continues]
[sighs]
"NEWHALF" FOUND DECEASED
IN A BOTCHED UNDERGROUND
SEX CHANGE SURGERY
[closes publication]
[sniffs]
[music fades]
- [man 1] Let's do it.
- [man 2] Let's go home.
You're just stressed
because you're left-handed.
[man 1] "Because you're left-handed?"
[man 2] My right elbow
is stressing you out?
[muffled conversation]
- [man 1] Who's gonna die? Not me.
- [man 2]Scary.
- [man 3] Yeah, you.
- [man 2 laughs]
- [Ai yelps] Ah!
- I'm not scared of whatever you're
[men chattering]
Hi, may I help you?
Hey, who is this?
What? You're on your way here?
- [man 1] What? What?
- [Ai] I'm so excited!
Yes! I can't wait
till you get here! [Laughing]
- [man 1] What are you excited about?
- [man 2] Who's coming?
Listen up.
Get presentable, everyone.
A famous idol is coming here!
- [man 1] Huh?
- [man 2, man 3] What?
I'm sure she'll be arriving
any minute now.
- [man 2 laughs] I don't think so. Whoa.
- [man 3] Who is she?
- I wasn't told. Were you?
- [laughs] You're excited.
- Idol
- What?
- [large audience cheering over PA]
- [men chattering]
[upbeat pop music playing over PA]
[lip-synching to Japanese lyrics]
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
Which do you prefer?
I can't decide!
[men chattering]
Because I am
A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you
[audience on TV chanting in English]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Yeah! [Uproarious cheering]
[lip-synching to woman
speaking Japanese] Hello, Tokyo.
It is I. Aya Matsuura!
- [in English] She's Ayaya!
- I got it, I got it.
The idol, yeah.
[in Japanese] This morning
[man chuckles]
I think
I woke up at 9:00.
So I went to wash up.
I have my toothpaste,
and next to the toothpaste
is my face cleanser.
I grabbed the tube
and started washing my face.
[men laugh]
And I thought to myself
- Yo, this cleanser feels different.
- [laughing]
- [in English] Her face!
- Her face is funny.
And that's when it dawned on me.
Oopsie! Wrong one.
"Yeah! It's a holiday!"
Yeah! It's a holiday!
That's my joyful wish this summer
Yeah! Jump into summertime
I wanna fall in love
Yeah!
[bar patrons cheering, whooping]
Ai! Ai!
[in English] Come here!
Why are you doing this
if you want to be an idol?
- I've been thinking.
- Yeah?
I should only do what I can do, right?
[slurring] That's cool, I love it.
It wasn't only cool, it was amazing!
Oh! Can I pitch you to my boss for a show?
I think you're gonna be a sensation!
- Oh my God!
- [man in glasses] I'm not lying!
- I'm for real!
- [laughing]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[lip-synching to Japanese lyrics]
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
- [laughter]
- Which do you prefer?
I can't decide! I wanna catch your eye
Because I am
A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you
[audience clapping along]
[laughter]
- [laughs]
- [in English] She's the next big thing.
Yes, definitely. The next big thing.
[audience cheering, applauding]
- [in Japanese] "Yeah! It's a holiday!"
- [performers laughing]
Yeah! It's a holiday!
- That's my joyful wish this summer
- [laughing]
- Yeah! Jump into summertime
- [brother laughing]
- I wanna fall in love
- [Ai's brother in English] She's a hit.
- [both laughing]
- [TV audience laughing]
- She's hilarious. Never would've thought.
- [man on TV] Welcome!
Nice to meet you. Please welcome
our special guest today, Haruna Ai!
Good evening. I'm Haruna Ai.
- It's so nice to meet you all!
- [man chuckles] Nice to meet you!
- Wow. You are so cute.
- [poignant music playing]
- Really?
- I would date you in a second.
She was actually born a boy.
[man] Oh, you're an okama.
Never mind then.
Oh, you said that! [Laughing]
[chuckling]
- [man on TV] You really can't tell.
- She's great.
If you didn't know,
you'd think she was born a woman.
[Ai] Yeah, I might just follow
a guy like you home.
- [man 2] Well, well, well.
- [man 1] No, I changed my mind.
[Ai] There you go again!
You just said you liked me. He's just shy.
- [laughter]
- [man 1] There must a be a lot going on
- [poignant music continues]
- [Wada writing]
[music builds]
[sighs]
TO TENMA WEST POLICE
OFFICIAL OPINION
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
REGARDING THE CAUSE OF DEATH,
IT IS MY OFFICIAL OPINION THAT
[sighs deeply]
I DID WHAT I COULD.
IF I AM TO BE TRIED FOR NOBEING ABLE TO SAVE A LIFE
- [poignant music continues]
- [TV mute]
[music fades]
- [keys jangle]
- [sniffs]
[distant chattering]
[faint hum of traffic]
- [taps papers on desk]
- [sighs]
There we go.
Another mess.
Morning.
Time to wake up.
[equipment humming]
Doctor?
Doctor?
- Wow, wow, wow!
- [Ai laughing]
You know, Ai, you were amazing tonight.
Another huge laugh after last week.
- It's exciting.
- [laughs]
Everyone is loving your act, Ai.
Not just the audience.
I think that you've won
the production's hearts as well!
- [man] Yes!
- All thanks to you, Ms. Fuji, and you.
[Fuji] You're the best, Ai.
Can't wait to see what else you bring.
- I'm looking forward to it.
- So am I.
- Great work. See you next week!
- Thanks so much!
- See you next week!
- Have a good night.
- [man] Thank you!
- Thanks so much!
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
Ai speaking.
Hello. This is Kiyomiya from Wada Clinic.
Hi! It's been a while.
[somber music playing]
DR. KOJI WADA HAS PASSED AWAY.
THE CLINIC IS CLOSED.
DR. WADA
[buzz of traffic]
- [pedestrians chattering]
- [bicycle bell rings]
[music fades]
My girls and I,
we're all in shock too.
Things must have been exhausting
after that incident.
Poor guy.
He didn't even have
a lawyer to defend him.
He wanted to tell the truth himself.
In the end [sighs]
charges were filed for what they said
was improper use of anesthesia.
It's unfortunate.
There were still
a lot of patients waiting for him.
So he was doing these surgeries
without even sleeping.
He was so tired.
But he couldn't sleep a wink.
He started using anesthesia
to fall asleep.
[laughs]
I guess he got the dosage wrong.
He made a lot of women cry.
What a bad man.
Aki.
Dr. Wada visited
my bar after the accident.
I told him that we weren't a mistake.
I told him
that we could shine even brighter.
I really wanted to show the doctor
How much brighter I could shine.
- But he already saw you shine...
- Not how I wanted!
This isn't all I have. [Sniffs]
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
I don't want to stop halfway.
I want to go all the way.
I'm gonna put my all
into shining brighter.
Do you think Wada will know?
Absolutely, he will.
I bet his eyes'll be wide open
watching from the other side.
He's gonna get dry eyes. All 'cause of Ai.
[poignant music playing]
[man over PA]
What a wonderful evening it's been.
So many smiles, so much passion,
and incredible stories
from around the world.
Each one reminds us
true beauty shines in so many ways.
- [Jennifer] No.
- [man] And we celebrate them all.
- Next, representing Japan.
- We made it.
[man] She lights up every heart
with her warmth and joyful spirit.
Please welcome Haruna Ai!
- [upbeat pop music playing]
- [audience cheering]
[in Japanese] I got a new hairdo
You say I look so different
You're looking pretty bashful
As you're walking past me
- I wish you had told me
- Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh
You think I look pretty
You're always hesitating
It's like you're behind a veil
Ai!
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Open up that door
To summer
And whisk me away somewhere
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Summer's gonna
Open the door
And take us just the way we are
[uproarious cheering]
[song subsides]
[solemn music playing]
[sobs]
[exhales]
[music intensifies]
[cheering continues]
KOJI WADA
1953-2007
[inhales]
Doctor,
are you impressed?
I'm the best in the world.
But you're beyond this world.
You'll always be
more amazing than me, though.
You've performed over 600 surgeries.
That's the most impressive thing ever.
It all started with me, huh?
My operations.
I was your first patient for both.
Guess what?
I'll always hold that in my heart.
Will you watch me shine?
I'm gonna sing
and I'm gonna dance.
Watch me, okay?
This performance is for you.
You let me shine.
Thank you, Doctor.
You're the reason that I
If I hadn't met you
[sniffles]
[crying]
Thank you.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[in Japanese] Goodbye, sweet pain
Those nights spent
With my chin in my hands
Ended yesterday
I want to make sure
That we met meant something
So I open my eyes in the darkness
Footsteps race
Along the emergency stairs
I want them to echo
In a world that's fast asleep
A motorbike abandoned in a vacant lot
Graffiti on the wall
I look up to it all
[women] Ai!
True grief
Can only be healed from within
I'm beginning
To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I set them free
Feel my heartache
I'm surrounded by smiles
But the lonely nights are hard
I want to share it
The words scribbled
In the margins of my textbook
Are coming to life
DR. KOJI WADA OFFERED
AFFORDABLE GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE
WITH GREAT DEDICATION
TO MANY PEOPLE EXPERIENCING
GENDER DYSPHORIA.
HE PERFORMED OVER 600 OPERATIONS
THROUGHOUT HIS LIFETIME.
There is a strength to being alone
And I don't want to lose it
In the throngs of this city
I'd like to keep seeking my revolution
I'm gonna make tomorrow different
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
This is how I live my life
Nobody can tell me how to live it
I want to watch it with you
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I want
To hold them tight
I'm beginning
To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I set them free
[music fades]
[gentle music playing]
Subtitle Translation by: Rychelle Brittain
- [people chatting]
- [camera clicking]
[interviewer] You're participating
in the Miss International Queen pageant.
Please tell our audience how you feel.
I'm so nervous, but I'm so excited
to take the throne today.
- [camera clicking]
- You're really sure about yourself?
- [contestant] Yes.
- [woman 1] Let me get one brush.
- [woman 2] Water?
- [man1] No. Right here. One more touch.
[woman 3] All right. No problem.
[gentle music builds]
Excuse me! Move aside, please! Move aside!
Large object coming through!
You found it.
- Excuse me.
- [costumes jangling]
- [woman 4] Excuse me.
- [man 2] That's your chair.
- [music soars]
- [chatting indistinctly]
[whooshing]
[exhales]
[insects chittering]
[kids playing in distance]
[upbeat pop music fading in]
[boy singing along in Japanese]
I got a new hairdo
SEIKO MATSUDA
You say I look so different
- You're looking pretty bashful
- [food sizzling]
As you walk past me
[in English] What are you doing?
Hurry up. Let's go.
- [sizzling continues]
- You heard your father. Go change.
Hmm You stupid-head!
It's almost over, let him finish.
[in Japanese]
You're always hesitating
- It's like you're behind a wall
- [full band joins in]
- [in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
- [kids shout encouragement]
[in Japanese] Open the door to summer
And whisk me away somewhere
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Summer's gonna
Open the door
And take us just the way we are
[in English] Man-woman!
You are so weird!
Okama!
Why are you all laughing?
I'm just singing a song
that I really like.
- Stop making fun of all my clothes.
- [laughing]
KENJI ONISHI
KIDS AMATEUR SINGING CONTESRun!
[pop music continues]
[man] Okay, next!
Ready,
set
[whistle blows]
[in Japanese] A car passes by
[panting]
We are on separate streets
[girl 1 in English] We both think
that you should ask him out.
[girl 2] What are you waiting for?
Just do it.
I got a new bra yesterday.
It's really cute.
- [girl 1] What color?
- [girl 2] Pink.
- [girl 1] Pink looks so good on you.
- [girl 3] Yeah.
[in Japanese] You say you love me
DEAR TAKESHI, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO POSITIVE
Are you serious?
FROM KENJI
TO TAKESHI
But everyone's watching me
[muffled dialogue]
How could you do that to me?
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
It's the man-woman!
DROP DEAD, LADYBOY
- [boy 1] You're so weird.
- [boy 2] He's an okama.
[boys laughing]
[boy 3] Look at that!
Hey, Kenji!
[kids playing in distance]
[Kenji] Why does everybody laugh at me?
[tender piano music playing]
[sniffling]
[sobbing quietly]
I don't get it.
What the heck even am I?
What the hell am I?
[man 1] Hey.
- You're drinking too much, Wada.
- [man 2] You're a doctor, remember?
A doctor, huh?
[chuckling] A guy like me?
Hey, didn't you quit the police hospital
right after you signed up?
[men laughing]
You're pretty odd for a skilled surgeon.
Hey! Did something happen?
[sobbing]
[man 1] All right, fine,
I'll give you one
- Nothing happened.
- [men laughing]
It's just
Surgeons don't care
about the patients they operate on.
All they care about is the surgery.
[men chatting, chuckling]
You people only care about
the body parts.
The meat.
[all laughing]
So tell us. What's your plan now, Wada?
Cosmetic surgery, I heard.
- Work for someone else.
- [all laughing]
[indistinct chatter]
It's true. You're right.
I can't save a single patient.
I just I just make people look good.
I'm a fake doctor.
[men chatter]
Tell me.
What is a doctor?
And medicine?
- I bet I think about that more than you!
- [men] Whoa!
- Hey, now!
- [men laugh, grumble]
- Oh! So much meat here.
- [man] Don't throw that!
- There's so much meat to cut up!
- [men grumbling]
[all chattering]
- [man 1] Hey, get away!
- [man 2] I'm gonna kill you!
[woman chuckles] Oh, wow.
This place is so lively.
- [man] It's so loud.
- [woman] Is that right?
- Hey.
- [woman] Hmm? What is it?
Can I, uh skip school tomorrow?
My stomach hurts.
It's not gonna hurt tomorrow.
Should I rub your tummy?
- [chuckles]
- [woman] Hmm?
Go to school.
Skipping can become a habit.
- All right.
- Mm.
What, where are you going? School?
The bathroom, stupid.
You should eat more. You hardly had any.
[all clamoring]
[clamoring continues]
Shut up and die!
- [boy 1] Shut up and die!
- [screaming]
- [boy 2] Cry all you want!
- [boy 3] Crybaby!
[boy 2] Come on! Show us! Still!
Do you have a dick or not?
- [boy 1] Yeah!
- [boy 2] Stop squirming.
[boy 3] Look at all that makeup!
Look at him! I can get these!
[screaming becomes muffled]
[coughs]
- [poignant music playing]
- [woman] What's wrong?
[Kenji] Ma'am
[rain pattering]
Can you please help me?
I can't take it anymore.
Onishi.
I'm sure you must have
some part in all of this.
- [Kenji cries softly]
- Stop being so fragile.
Try to be more masculine, all right?
[poignant music continues]
But I didn't do anything.
I was just being myself.
What am I?
Someone please help.
[footsteps echoing]
[mysterious music playing]
[gasps softly]
SHOW HOUSE
JORDAN PUB
Clouds drifting by
You're part of me
Eagle up in the sky
[lip-synching] You're part of me
Rainbow above
You're part of me
- [gasps]
- It's my journey
My life and my love
If you know what I mean
If you know what mean, yeah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah, yeah-ah-ah
- Clouds drifting way up high
- [groans]
- Hey, stop the music!
- [music stops]
- Come on, Megumi. You gotta smile more.
- All right.
- [woman] Jennifer, learn the choreography.
- Yep.
[woman] Marumi, you are doing
way too much.
- Okay.
- [woman] All right, start from the top.
Who's this?
Who are you?
[gasps]
[Kenji] I just thought
you were so beautiful.
But I had a feeling
you weren't a regular woman.
- So I got curious.
- [laughs]
You're sharp, kid.
Most people rarely ever notice
that I have a dick.
I really
My dream is to be an idol like Seiko.
What are you talking about?
Do you think I could come
work here for you?
I want to be up on stage.
I want to dance and I want to sing.
I've never
Experienced anything like it.
Ever since
Ever since I was little,
I've always wanted to wear pretty skirts,
but I had to wear pants
because I was a boy.
Everybody in my class calls me "okama."
[crying] They call me a man-woman.
It's been painful.
I started to think
that I wasn't even human.
Stop with the tragic heroine victim act.
It's the same for all of us.
Everybody has their own sob story,
a lot of them worse than yours.
You're not special.
And if you pretend you are,
you've already lost.
I know it hurts but you'll be fine.
I'll show you the ropes.
- [gasps] You mean that?
- An okama always keeps their word.
[chuckles] Never mind. They don't always.
Listen. I'll make one thing very clear.
It doesn't matter how much you do here,
you'll never become a real woman.
Okay.
Instead, what you can become is
what we call a "new half." Got it?
[gasps] Thank you very much.
[TV sportscaster] It's the top
of the fourth inning,
and the Giants are up to bat.
Neither team has managed
to score any runs
We get more surprise tests
than all the other classes.
- It's unbearable.
- [woman laughs]
So my friends
want to study at the library after school.
- [woman chuckles]
- Study at the library?
Yeah, me and my friends want
to study there.
[woman] Mm.
[laughs]
[TV continues chattering in background]
That's fine.
You're a man. Do it right.
I will.
Really? You've never studied
in your life. Not that I know of.
You better shut up.
[boy laughs]
Mm.
[chuckles] Your kimpira is delicious, Mom.
- [mom chuckles]
- Kenji, you're so dedicated.
Let's see.
Will my grandson be
a doctor? A minister?
- [chuckles] Do your best.
- [boy] That's impossible.
[woman] Hey now. Don't say that to him.
He's trying as hard as he can.
[hopeful music playing]
[sighs] I'm sorry, Grandma.
I don't think I'm going to become
a doctor or a minister.
I'm going to be a new half.
- [Megumi] Did you get another boob job?
- Hah, You're just jealous of me, babe.
- Yeah, right.
- I picked up my prescription yesterday...
- Come on!
- [pills rattle]
[Megumi] How many pills are you taking?
- Five a day.
- [all] What?!
- Five? Are you feeling okay?
- That's a reaction.
- I'm throwing up every day.
- I bet you are.
- [woman 1] That's awful.
- But my boobs are growing. See?
- Dream come true.
- [woman 2 humming]
- [woman 3] You feel like a real woman.
- [woman 4] It's worth it!
[woman 1] I get it, girl!
Oh yeah?
Wow, this doesn't sound like you at all.
[woman 1] It may not look like it,
but I get hormone shots
like a machine gun.
I still prefer my hormones from eating
yakiniku rather than pills though.
Hormones, hormones, hormones!
[all] Hormones, hormones,
hormones, hormones!
Place this carefully backstage,
then go to Aki's place.
Then and then um
[sharp inhale]
Hey, newbie.
Take this.
It's for our prescriptions.
Oh. O okay.
[cars passing by]
- [background chatter]
- [music playing in distance]
- [passersby chattering loudly]
- [bicycle bell ringing]
I'm so pretty!
- Hey, what a cutie!
- Oh, you're right.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[announcer] Please enjoy
Miss Yamashita Kumiko's
"Sekido Komachi Doki."
[in Japanese] The crimson sun
- She scorches, she burns
- [man whistles]
[in English] Hey Miss!
Wanna grab some tea?
[in Japanese] Even the shimmering heat
- Comes alive when she walks by
- [men cheering]
With her prim little face
- Her gaze
- [laughing]
Is the mirror image of summer
Tilting her chic sunglasses
Her eyes meet yours
- [in English] Okay!
- Ooh!
[in Japanese] And she's got you
Burning with nerves
She derails your train of thought
- She's gonna set your fuse on fire
- [crowd cheering]
Your jagged heart
Might tear apart in a jagged way
[all singing along]
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator
[all] Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
- [girl in English] Here you go.
- Thank you!
- Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
- [all cheering]
[all singing along in Japanese]
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator
[all] Whoo! Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
[giggling]
Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
- [all cheering]
- [music ends]
[giggling]
[humming happily]
[somber music playing]
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
COSMETIC AND PLASTIC SURGERY
[ominous tones droning]
[gasps]
[woman in English] I already told you
I'm fine with that!
[Wada] I'll repeat myself again.
There's no point in messing
with your eyes any further.
If anything, your eyes will stay
as swollen as they are now.
Would you rather have
pig eyelids or double eyelids?
[woman] I told you my whole story.
And that's all you have to say to me?
Give me a better answer!
I'm giving you this advice
for your own good!
Who did this work on your nose, anyway?
Sue them, get compensation,
and then I'll try to fix it.
We're done here.
You're the worst ever!
I'll find a different doctor!
Think it over.
They'll just take your money!
[footsteps retreating]
Great.
[woman] I'm sorry.
[Wada sighs]
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
PREMARIN - JORDAN PUB
We are so beautiful,
don't you think? [Chuckles]
That's a stupid question.
- It was rhetorical.
- What?
I was talking to myself in the mirror.
You finally found someone
who will listen to you? [Laughing]
You should try to be
more like me. [Laughing]
- [Megumi laughs] No, thanks.
- [Jennifer] Oh, please. This girl.
I swear.
I'm sorry.
I heard an uncomfortable conversation
I got scared, so I left our card.
You bailed?
- Well, that doctor's kind of rude.
- [gasps] Okay, girl!
The dress is cute on you! Right?
Thank you very much!
- [Jennifer] Mm-hmm.
- You better enjoy it while you can.
Won't be long
before you're bulging everywhere.
I was as thin as you are. Before.
The ones who bloom slowly at first
tend to grow a lot later on.
- [Jennifer] You grew way too much.
- [Marumi] Who, me?
[Jennifer] You know.
[Marumi] You said that!
[Jennifer] What did you eat
to get that big?
[wistful music playing]
[sighs]
[pills rattling]
[gagging]
[gasping]
[retching]
[gasping]
[toilet flushes]
[mom] What's wrong, Kenji?
Do you feel sick?
I ate something bad.
I feel a lot better now.
- But you look pale.
- [Kenji] I'll be fine.
Please get some rest. Good night.
Hey, kid. You've had way too much.
I'm not talking about alcohol. The pill.
It'll mess you up.
[sniffs]
I'm sorry.
I'll be careful.
As long as you understand.
Lecture's over. Go on.
Wait, kid. Come back. I have more to say.
What is it?
Your debut. You've been selected.
[exhales] Do you mean that?
"Ai." How about that?
Ai?
It's your new name.
Kenji never really suited you.
I want "Ai" to be truly loved, kid.
Ai.
- [knife chopping]
- Where's Kenji?
He's been coming home really late.
[TV chattering]
[dad] He even dropped out of high school.
What's he thinking?
[mom] Ask him yourself
if you're so worried.
Idiot. That's a mother's job.
[boy] Is this yours, Mom?
- Hmm?
- [boy] I found it on the floor.
[TV continues chattering softly]
- I don't own anything this flashy.
- [boy] What?
Well I guess
No, no, no, not mine.
I would never.
Nope, I'm determined
never to cheat on you. Yeah...
- Why would you say that?
- [laughs] Can't believe dad said that.
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
- [distinct music echoing]
- [whooping]
[cheering]
[lively music playing with female vocal]
[loud pop]
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[loud pop]
[loud pop]
[crowd cheering, whistling]
- [loud pop]
- [laughter]
[loud pop]
- [song ends]
- [crowd cheering]
Will you all pardon me?
I know y'all want my balls!
[laughter]
What a weird place.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[lip-synching to lyrics in Japanese]
Single footsteps in the sand
A little free time to myself
I turn around
To a strange figure
Off in the distance
He rushes toward me on the shore
Suddenly a chill runs down my back
It is the sweet premonition of love
Coming over me
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
With a touch of giddy
And beckoning us in
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
In my eyes
This vision of you
[music fades]
[indistinct chatter]
Can you tell me what you do for work?
I'm a doctor.
Amazing.
[chuckles]
Hey. Hey, doctor.
How was my performance?
How was it?
It's just today was my debut.
It was
You shined so brightly.
Shining like a star.
You seemed so true to yourself.
It was like you were born to be on stage.
[chuckles]
I'm a little drunk. [Laughs]
[muffled retching]
[retching]
[coughing, gasping]
- [wistful music playing]
- [delicate chime tinkling]
[panting, shuddering]
[crying]
[indistinct chatter]
[Ai] My mom made me
a beautiful skirt to wear.
[Wada] Really?
You actually wore it
to the singing contest?
Yeah, and the boys were all laughing.
They called me "gross."
And said I was a weirdo.
Weird.
What?
Well,
I think
being weird means that nobody accepts you.
So if even one person accepts you
you're not weird.
[chuckles]
That sounds cheesy.
I've never heard anything as nice as that.
Doctor, I kind of have a favor to ask you.
Okay, go ahead.
- I can't lend money, but something else...
- No, that's not it.
- Cut my balls off.
- [chokes]
Your balls?
Uh, you mean testicles.
Mm.
I looked it up.
I read that
male hormones are made there, aren't they?
Which would mean
They're what makes me masculine.
If that's true getting rid of them...
Will make you more feminine.
Will you?
Well, technically it's not impossible.
But you're thinking about this too simply.
There's the Eugenic Protection Law.
Orchiectomies aren't common.
Doctors have been arrested
for operating without permission.
Well I don't want you to get arrested.
I just kind of
I always hoped that someday
those balls hanging
from my body would fall off.
That's when I would become my true self.
But they haven't yet.
It's just that no matter
how much time passes, they won't.
I'm even growing a beard now.
[sighs]
And my voice deepened.
I can't handle it.
I hate it.
I can't live like this.
It's awful.
[gentle music playing]
[brake engages]
[engine stops]
Doctor.
[Wada] Why are you here?
Obviously, I want to get
a surgery consultation.
I just need a little more time, okay?
Doctor!
[water trickling]
[Ai giggles]
Doctor. The surgery.
You can't do this on whim! Understand?
- [sighs]
- [music fades]
[tender piano music playing]
This is the end of your treatment.
You did a great job.
Wait. Doctor.
- You're releasing me as your patient?
- Hmm. That's right.
You can't leave me like this.
Please fix it.
[voice breaking] My face isn't done yet!
[doctor] The surgery was a success.
You should be grateful that you survived.
Not like this.
[sobbing] I can't live like this! I can't!
[sobbing continues]
[music fades]
Doctor, is there something wrong?
You look so serious.
What does it mean
to save someone's life?
[woman] What?
No, never mind. I'm sorry.
[Ai] Doctor.
Ai.
I'll do it.
I'll do your surgery.
You mean it?
Knowing you,
you'll keep pestering me until I agree.
But there are conditions.
Conditions?
You're going to have to tell
your parents, Ai.
Even if you can't tell them
about the operation,
you must tell them about how you feel.
[soft music playing over PA]
[man] This is so sweet.
I'm so gonna get hit.
- What? What'd ya do?
- Nothing. Just keep eating, all right?
[snickers] Something's going on.
I don't know what.
- [entry bell jangles]
- Yum.
[door closes]
- Hey.
- [brother] Hey.
Dad? Where's Mom?
Oh, she said she has
a neighborhood meeting.
- Got it.
- [dad] Mm.
[sighs]
Hey, um
Can you go to that seat over there?
Why?
Can I order a cream anmitsu?
- Yeah. [Chuckles]
- All right!
What did you want to tell me?
Hurry up, the race is about to start.
Okay. I'll say it quick then.
I uh
Yes?
- This might kinda surprise you
- Uh-huh?
I, uh
I want to live as a girl.
I know I was born a boy,
but I want to live as a girl from now on.
[bellows]
Do what you want.
You've already made your decision.
So do it.
Wait a sec.
Did you know already?
I am your father. No matter what.
I thought you'd be more
masculine if I made you play baseball.
I'm sorry.
Just promise me one thing.
What is it?
Never regret your decision, all right?
And take care of yourself.
If you're a man, then be the best man!
That's three things to promise, not one.
And
I just told you
I'm going to live as a girl.
- Huh?!
- All right, fine.
I promise it all.
Oh and
[exhales] don't tell
your mother about this.
I think it'll break her.
Are you having second thoughts?
No.
Except
I feel bad for my mom.
She gave birth to a healthy baby.
We can stop.
Mm-mm.
I'll apologize to her someday.
Doctor.
Hmm?
I'm glad you said that you'd help.
There's no one else I would want here.
Why me?
Because of what you said.
Hmm.
That I shine like a star.
And that
[laughs softly] made me really happy.
I want you to know something.
In my eyes, you're not weird.
[chuckles]
I'm really glad to hear that.
I want to be
Ai, the idol.
Like Seiko, who's my idol.
To be an idol of idols.
[tender music playing]
- [air hissing]
- [monitor beeping]
[exhales]
You'll be one.
Because you're you.
[breathing echoes]
[music intensifies]
[all gasp]
[Megumi] Oh, it's swollen like a balloon.
Even if you take the balls,
the sack's still there.
- My God. It looks like that
- [Marumi] What?
- You know that
- What?
- I've got a picture of it.
- What?
It doesn't look like anything.
- You wait.
- [Marumi] What does it look like?
[Jennifer] Where did I put that picture?
Where is it? Where did I
What's going on here?
[Megumi] Ai took out her balls.
- Get a good look, isn't this special?
- [Aki] Ha.
- [Megumi] Come here!
- There you are.
Aw! It looks just like that
you girls know, that raccoon dog!
- [Jennifer] That's what I thought!
- Oh yeah!
- [Jennifer] This!
- [all laughing]
[Aki] They look exactly the same!
No, wait! Please don't say that!
Ai.
How's it make you feel, huh?
How do I feel?
[breathing heavily]
It's like I've been liberated!
- Oh really?!
- [all laughing]
[Marumi] You said that!
- [Aki] Let's go out for drinks!
- [all whooping]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[woman on recording vocalizing]
[all chanting] Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
- [Jennifer] Go, Ai! Go, Ai! Go, Ai!
- [woman] Yes, queen!
[liquid bubbling]
[crowd cheering]
[lip-synching to lyrics in Japanese]
Dipping my feet in the icy fountain
Looking up at the skyscrapers
Wearing my favorite clothes
There's nothing wrong with that
Gripping the golden handlebars
Racing through the town
Doing all these fun things
I want to see
What it really looks like
And not just through an old TV screen
[clamoring]
The moment the needle drops
Is the moment my heart skips
[in English] Doctor, you removed
Ai's balls, right?
So you're the famous doctor
who treats us "newhalfs."
All the Kansai okama,
they're all coming here
because you're great!
Hold still. I need it to be aligned.
[in Japanese] Even if I'm tired, hated,
Or growing old, I just can't stop
- [Jennifer in English] Your hair!
- [Marumi] You're so cute.
I could just butter you up and eat you!
[in Japanese] They're like diamonds
[screaming, cheering]
Every which way I look
I can't quite put it into words
But they are treasures
My hunch was right
It's exactly how I thought it would be
It's setting me in motion
- This feeling of mine
- Oh! Oh!
- [whirring]
- [all scream]
[in English] It's your fault!
You are guilty!
[cars passing]
Oh, Doctor.
WHAT ABOUT NORMAL PATIENTS?
DIE
[sighs] Why do people do this?
Our clients fight so hard just to survive.
A lot more than these jerks.
Excuse me. Are you with the clinic?
Yes, I am.
I'm Detective Tsuruku.
We've been getting a lot of complaints
about the noise coming
from the lines at your clinic.
I guess those unique people talk a lot.
I apologize.
I'll make sure we keep the noise down.
Appreciate it.
Isn't it tough to keep control
of so many strange freaks?
Don't call them that.
[laughs] Well then.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [muffled music playing]
Ai, you're unbelievably cute, ya know.
- Takuya, you do know, right?
- Huh?
I'm not a normal kinda girl.
I don't care about that.
[Ai moaning softly]
Ah!
I want you so bad right now.
Wanna live together?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes!
- [Ai giggling]
- Really?!
- You promise?
- Uh-huh. [Laughing]
- [crowd cheering]
- [Takuya] Oh. I'm on. See you later, okay?
- [Ai] Okay.
- All right!
[Ai] Mm.
- I'm serious! [Grunts]
- [Ai giggling]
Sorry! [Blows kiss]
[Aki] Ai.
Aki.
I'm just meddling here.
But all the men who mess with new half
always go back to women.
You should be prepared for that.
[kids clamoring, playing]
[grandma] Well I'll come visit.
- Oh! I'll be lonely without you here.
- [sizzling]
- [laughs]
- He's not going abroad.
I know.
- Yeah. You better come by sometimes.
- You got it.
Hey! Aren't you coming out?
- Kenji's leaving.
- [sizzling continues]
I'm a little busy.
- See you later.
- [grandma] Mm.
- Take care. Mm.
- [Ai chuckles]
[door closes]
[kids continue playing outside]
[sharp inhale]
[Ai laughs softly]
[rock music playing]
Takuya!
- [in Japanese] Her and me!
- [both] Ah!
It's a scandal!
[both laughing]
- [grunts] Ha!
- [Ai laughs]
[in English] Nice!
- Yeah, I did!
- [in Japanese] A deadly game of love
A forbidden scandal
No matter how much I love you
- [in English] Stop!
- Come on, scaredy-cat!
[Ai and Takuya] Let's eat!
[in Japanese] We kissed by the pool
- And then you cried
- [laughing]
[in English] Oh, no.
There's ketchup on your face.
- Do you want seconds?
- Oh my God! Yeah!
[in Japanese] I can't stop loving you
Even if it's forbidden
If only I could let you go
Then you wouldn't have to...
[doorbell rings]
- [Takuya] Uh?
- [Ai] Hmm?
- [in English] Who's that?
- You don't have to answer that.
Yes, I do.
- It's all right.
- Coming!
Uh
Hello?
[train clacking]
Who is it?
- A ding-dong ditch?
- Maybe a neighbor.
- We were loud, you know.
- It's fine. Come on!
Come on and do what?
- Make out, duh!
- [giggles]
[rain pattering]
You know
I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Me too, Takuya.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
[Ai sighs] Hmm.
[Ai moaning softly]
Ai.
Can we do it tonight?
What?
- I don't
- I'll be gentle.
- Trust me.
- Huh? Wait, hold on.
No, wait.
- Takuya
- It'll be fine.
[Ai] Stop.
- It didn't work last time, remember?
- It's fine.
[Ai groaning]
- [Takuya] Don't worry.
- [Ai] It won't go in!
Ow! It hurts! [Moans]
[gasps]
[Ai gasps] I'm sorry.
[rain continues pattering]
[Takuya exhales]
Well, that kinda
killed the mood, huh?
It is what it is.
You are
who you are, Ai.
[sighs] I'm going to sleep.
[somber music playing]
[crying softly]
[thunder rumbling]
- Good work today.
- You too.
You should go home.
Uh-huh.
[woman screams]
[gasps]
What's wrong?
Dr. Wada.
Can you make me a woman?
A woman?
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't have
that kind of relationship with her.
Ai?
It's not that simple.
This is much more difficult compared
to just removing testicles.
You have to cut and invert the penis,
then create a vagina.
You don't just remove it.
You have to maintain
the excretory functions.
And the vagina needs
to withstand intercourse.
It's like we're playing God here.
And
There's a chance
you might not wake from the anesthesia.
I wonder why I missed.
What?
I had a fifty percent chance,
but I missed it.
If I were born a woman,
I wouldn't feel like this.
I wanna gamble not waking up.
Just make me the woman I am.
Even if I might die.
DOCTORS WHO PERFORMED
SEX CHANGE SURGERY
IN VIOLATION OF
THE EUGENIC PREVENTION LAW
ARE TRANSSEXUAL ALLIES CRIMINALS?
[page turning]
FOUND GUILTY OF PERFORMING
SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY
[woman] Excuse me, Doctor.
[distant siren wailing]
What do you plan to do?
Wow.
If you perform the surgery,
you might lose your license.
You might even get arrested.
[Wada] I want to do it for her if I can.
I don't have the confidence yet.
I don't know if I'm capable.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[audience cheering]
[cheering builds]
[audience clapping along]
[in Japanese] It's all coming
To me now
I am a new me
As the vessel rushes on
The white waves dance in its wake
I made a promise with you
And I'm gonna keep it
[Wada in English] I'll place
the urethra inside.
Natural lubrication could be possible.
[in Japanese] The flower
Of love in my heart
Will be accepted by you
The blue sky where the swallows fly
Is a canvas
For our dreams of the future
Free lines, free colors
We'll paint it together
[song fades]
[indistinct chatter]
[in English] I was
Scared.
Why?
If I do operate,
you might die in the middle of surgery.
But I realized something.
You might live
your whole life in a man's body.
And being trapped in that body could
someday kill both your heart and soul.
I could possibly save you from that.
But I have to gather up the courage.
I have to ensure it will be
a successful outcome.
Ai
I'll
I'll do it.
Doctor
Let me save your life
Your soul and your heart.
I'd be honored to do it.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Thank you so much.
[poignant piano music playing]
[mom] Are you okay Kenji?
You don't usually call.
Mom, you know that I
What is it?
I uh
Iforgot.
I can't remember what I wanted to say.
What's with you?
Is this a prank?
It's a prank call, you're right.
[crying softly]
I'm hanging up now.
My kinpira will burn.
I love your kinpira.
I really do.
Make me some later?
[crying softly]
It's just thrown together.
You really have no sense of taste.
I'm hanging up.
[music fades]
[machines hissing]
It's almost time.
Do you have any doubts?
Of course. A lot.
[chuckles softly]
Ai you were born in a man's body.
God just made a small mistake.
[putting on surgical gloves]
I'm going to fix that for you.
When you wake up,
you will finally be your true self.
Hey, Doctor.
Yes?
I want
I wanna go back in time
to tell my past self this
"Everything is going to be okay."
"One day, you will become a woman."
Okay. You ready?
[in Japanese] I got a new
Hairdo
You say I look so different
- You're looking
- [water rippling]
Pretty bashful
As you walk past me
[solemn music playing]
[distant screaming]
[boy] Show us!
- Shut up and die!
- [screaming continues]
[screaming fades]
[distant coughing]
[coughing, retching]
[solemn music builds]
[crying softly]
[boys yelling]
[boy] It's the man-woman!
So weird!
[boys cackling]
[music intensifies]
[boy] Hey, Kenji
[footsteps splashing]
[music subsides]
[air gusting]
[music fades]
- [rhythmic thrusting]
- [Ai moaning]
[Takuya] Ai. It feels so good.
[Ai] Takuya
[both moaning]
[distant traffic buzzing]
You were great.
You're really a woman.
What's wrong?
Tears of joy?
They're not.
Huh? They're not?
Did it hurt that bad?
Maybe I'm jealous.
Jealous?
What are you jealous of?
- Because, Takuya
- Yeah?
You looked like
you were really feeling good.
It made me think, "He wants a girl."
"He prefers women's bodies."
I wondered
what if you actually didn't like me
in my body before?
Ai, no way!
- Get that out of your head.
- I know it's stupid.
But I can't help
I can't help it if I'm jealous.
Women are very lucky.
[tender music playing]
They have bodies that men love
without doing anything special.
Hey.
Hey, Ai. Did you not enjoy it
'cause you're a woman?
You idiot.
I'm really happy now.
That's how I feel.
I'm really happy too
being with the real you, Ai.
[chuckles softly]
[crying] Takuya
[gentle music playing]
[respirator hissing]
[Wada] Vitals?
[woman] Pulse is 80, blood pressure
of 126-over-73 and breathing is stable.
[Wada] Let's begin.
- [Wada] Scalpel.
- [woman] Scalpel.
I have performed
many sex change operations,
but I believe that preventing adhesions
after surgery is a major issue.
For example, in Thailand,
they form a hard candle
and insert it into the vagina,
but it has little effect
and is a burden on the patient.
In order to protect the patients' bodies,
I would like to use
your silicone manufacturing technology.
I ask for your cooperation
in the joint development
of a dilator to prevent
the vagina from closing.
I believe that this is the key
to opening this field's advancement.
Thank you all for your consideration.
[pop music playing faintly
over car stereo]
[Takuya] Hey, my mom and dad are happy.
They've been bugging me
to let them meet you, you know.
- Are you sure they want me there?
- Yeah. They'll be glad I brought you.
I mean, it's not gonna be
formal or anything.
- [Ai] Hmm.
- Relatives will be there with their kids.
[group chatting, laughing]
[Takuya] That's when I was a kid!
Takuya's always been
such a sensitive crybaby, hasn't he?
I wouldn't have guessed that.
He hasn't shown me that side.
Come on. That's enough of that.
Oh yeah. I have plans with my friends.
- [Ai] Hmm?
- I'll be back.
- Mm-hmm.
- You can chill here.
- Be safe.
- [woman] Careful.
- All right, all right. See you later.
- [all] Bye-bye!
[Takuya] Bye.
[men laughing]
This is delicious.
[chuckles] Oh-ho-ho! Thank you.
It's time.
[all chatting]
You kids, go play outside for a bit.
[kids] Okay!
All right, let's go.
[child] All right.
[kids chatting]
It's just
Please, Ai
Break up with Takuya.
What?
You're wonderful.
You're a really good person.
I love who you are. [Chuckles]
You're beautiful and kind.
Except you can't have children.
[crying] Sorry about this.
Takuya loves children.
But if you and Takuya get married one day
He'll have one less reason to smile.
I'm sorry.
Please, Ai.
[low rushing sound]
[water burbling]
- [Jennifer] With handcuffs.
- [Megumi] Where'd this happen?
- His sister's house.
- [Megumi] Is her house a police station?
- [laughing]
- [Marumi] You said that, queen!
- [indistinct chatter]
- [distant music playing]
[sighs deeply]
[sniffs]
[footsteps approaching]
- What's wrong?
- [indistinct background chatter continues]
Is it Takuya?
[sniffles]
[sighs] Can't hide anything from you, Aki.
Okama eyes are omnipresent you know.
What's going on?
I'll be fine.
This is something I have to do on my own.
Okay.
- [Jennifer] Right? I said that!
- [Megumi] You said that.
[Jennifer] I want to make out! Long! Yeah!
- [laughs]
- [Marumi] Maybe you should call...
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
[sniffs]
Ai speaking.
[children shouting, playing]
Kenji.
Where's Grandma?
She's in her room.
Kenji.
Grandma?
[shudders]
[exhales]
Grandma.
[crying]
Grandma
Grandma
Always asked
how you were doing. [Chuckles]
- Oh, really?
- [brother chuckles]
Yeah, she really did.
[poignant music playing]
[brother] She used to say this one thing.
[Ai] What did she say?
[brother] That you were strong.
SEIKO MATSUDA
IDOL BOOK
And that you should always live
your life the way you want to.
- Hey. What does that mean?
- Takuya, I just told you everything.
Why are you packing?
- You didn't tell me everything...
- I'm packing because we're done.
I'm going to Tokyo.
Hold on! What? Hey, wait!
Ai Do you not love me anymore or what?
Takuya.
What we had was an immature mistake.
An immature mistake?
Goodbye.
[Takuya] Ai, wait! Hey!
You're just gonna leave like this?
[running footsteps recede]
[wistful music playing]
[birds twittering]
[in Japanese] When I'm all alone
I listen to my favorite song
Because Olivia
Comforts my lonely heart
My cup of jasmine tea
This sedative, lulling me to sleep
I want my day to end
The way I want it to tonight
When we first met
Never could I have imagined
A day like this would come
[in English] Making good things better
[in Japanese] No, it's already done
It's just that time has passed
You are exhausted from loving
A phantom version of me
[distant hum of traffic]
1998 TOKYO
[gentle music playing]
I'll work very hard. I'll do anything!
You were a man before?
You're not right for our agency.
I can sing and I can dance.
We would welcome you,
but you're not a woman.
Mm.
You'll never find anyone more motivated.
[chuckles] I like you a lot.
I'll introduce you to a good agency.
- Amazing!
- [man] Mm-hmm!
A sexy place.
They eat up cuties like you there.
What?
There's plenty of customers
with unique tastes. Hmm.
[hum of traffic]
[gasps] Really? That's great news!
I'm still asking around, though.
If it all works out, I can help
people like you for much cheaper.
[chuckles softly]
Awesome. You're doing so good.
[chuckles]What've you been up to?
How's Tokyo treating you?
It's treating me well.
I've been getting so many jobs.
People in Tokyo don't scare me at all.
That's good to hear.
[two knocks on door]
Oh, they need me. Sorry.
No worries. We'll talk soon.
Bye.
[distant siren wailing]
[sighs]
I'm not getting any jobs.
[doorbell rings]
Who is it?
Who is it? A prank?
Mom?
Thank you.
I'm surprised to see you.
We're divorcing.
Your dad was cheating.
He was?
I couldn't take it anymore, so I left.
I've been reflecting on a lot of things.
Even though your dad
should be the one doing that.
Are you just here to tell me that?
You're our child.
I think you can understand.
You know how I feel
as a woman.
What?
You you always were a woman, yes?
You don't have to hide it from me.
Not anymore.
I'm sorry.
I gave birth to you like that.
In the wrong body.
What are you saying?
Mom, it's not your fault.
All parents are responsible
for their kids.
When your grandma passed away,
my heart was crushed when I saw you.
You tried so hard
to dress up like a man in that suit.
You tried so hard to kill
your true self for so long.
I realized that I was the one
who made you feel that way.
But I couldn't deal with it.
That's why
I couldn't be around you at all.
I did that a lot actually.
I'd been turning away from you
since you were little.
[Ai] Have you always known?
I'm your mother. Of course I did.
All this time
I thought you hated everything about me.
Of course not.
I even went to your apartment.
I wanted to talk about everything.
I wanted to face you properly.
[rings doorbell]
- [Ai] Who's that?
- [Takuya] You don't have to answer that.
[Ai] Yes, I do.
Coming!
Hello?
- [train clacking]
- [Takuya] Who is it?
- A ding-dong ditch?
- [Ai] Maybe a neighbor.
- We were loud, you know.
- [Takuya] It's fine. Come on.
- [Ai] Come on and do what?
- [Takuya] Make out!
[sighs]
I couldn't give this to you then.
I know it's your favorite.
I'm sorry I was such a awful mother.
I'm sorry.
Why are you sorry?
I'm the one who should
Who should be sorry.
[sniffles]
[sniffles]
I
[crying]
You went through so much
to give birth to my body and I...
Don't apologize.
Whether you're a man or a woman,
you will always be my child.
My beautiful, precious child.
[both crying]
- Mom
- [gentle ballad playing]
[sniffling, crying]
[vocalizing]
Do me a favor, will you, Ai?
[in Japanese] It's a nostalgic pain
[in English] What is it?
You called me "Ai."
You didn't call me "Kenji."
Will you do my makeup?
Makeup?
Yes, Ai. I came to see you
when you performed at the club.
[laughs] You did?
[chuckles]
Yes, I did.
You were so cute in your makeup.
I am so proud of you.
[both laugh emotionally]
I admired you.
Ai, I think that you're beautiful.
[in Japanese] Why must the dreams
Lost to time
Always appear so beautiful?
That affection
Of the past is still
A sweet memory
[in English] Sweet memories
[music fades]
The files for tomorrow's counseling.
Oh. Thank you.
Doctor, aren't you tired?
You must be too.
Oh, I'm sorry, we're...
It seems like you're going all out
with this thing, huh?
What do you mean?
With all those okama.
Listen, if you just mess
with them a little, it's not a big deal.
[exhales]
You're doing too much.
How many dicks
have you cut off this month, huh?
- Please be careful with your words.
- Apologies.
It slipped.
As far as we are concerned, Wada,
we're not going to drop this.
This is a legitimate medical procedure
to save our patients.
That's not something that's
up to you to decide.
It's up to the state.
[woman laughs] What?!
You used to be a man?
Don't you think that maybe it would be
better to hide that in this business?
[chuckles softly] I want to be an idol.
And I want to do things honestly.
Mm-hmm.
I like your spunk.
We're happy to bring you on.
Mark my words. You'll be working a lot!
[gasps] Thank you very much!
[woman chuckling]
Oh, how cute!
- [giggling]
- [woman laughing]
- [pop music playing over PA]
- Hi, all! [Giggles]
I just love seeing
every one of you here today!
I'll introduce myself.
I'm Ai, and I'm here from Osaka,
now in Tokyo.
And I'm doing my best!
[kids chattering, playing]
MATSUZAKAYA
FREE CHARITY MUSIC FESTIVAL
[kids chattering in Japanese]
- [people chattering]
- [bugs chittering]
[people continue chattering]
[girl] I wanna do something fun!
What is this?!
I'm not wearing this.
[man] I don't know what to tell you.
I cleared it with your agency.
An okama doesn't get embarrassed.
Just wear it.
BOYS OVER BALLS
[woman] It's taking forever.
[wistful music playing]
What the hell am I?
- [panting]
- [monitor's alarm ringing]
- Doctor, I need you. Doctor!
- [Wada mumbles]
- [ringing continues]
- [Wada] What's wrong?
Doctor! It's a code blue!
- Step aside.
- [tense music playing]
- Open the IV. Defib. Epinephrine.
- [woman 1] Can you hear me? I'm here.
[woman 2] Okay!
[woman 1] Can you hear me?
I don't feel a pulse.
- Is the defib ready yet?
- Almost! I'm starting the ambu bag.
[alarm continues ringing]
[flat line tone drones]
[music intensifies]
[flat line tone fades into tense music]
[Tsuruku] Can you explain all of this?
Medical terms are so difficult
to understand for the average person.
[chuckles] I don't get 'em.
[music fades]
Tell me why
an okama you were operating on
suddenly died during a procedure
you perform a lot?
We haven't determined
the cause of death quite yet.
Oh
If I had to guess,
it was a complication called
ARDS from the anesthesia.
The cause of ARDS is often unknown,
so there's no way to prevent it.
Wada are you telling me
that it's not your fault?
What I'm telling you is that
that is my best guess.
As of now, that's the best I can do
for my deceased patient.
Interesting.
[inhales sharply]
Very interesting.
By the way, doctor,
I've been wondering about something.
Why would you befriend those people?
Are you into that sort of thing too?
Or maybe
You get your rocks off
with this kind of stuff, hmm?
[pounding on table]
You like cutting off men's dicks?
[laughs]
[laughs]
Not speaking now?
I've got all day for this.
[chuckling]
ANGEL NES[Megumi] Sangen-jaya?
Wow. Isn't that expensive?
I heard it's great there.
There's a lot of them. [Laughs]
[laughs] So it's different
from where you live!
[Jennifer] I mean it.
What are you laughing about?
By the way, Ai, this place is nice.
It's really cute here, I like it.
[chuckles] I was asked to work here.
I'm only part-time
because I'm busy in entertainment.
That's good. Things are going well.
Tokyo has been really great.
All right.
I have something
I want to show you, Ai.
- [Jennifer] Hmm?
- It's this.
- Ah.
- Go ahead. Look.
- Miss International Queen?
- [Megumi] Yep. Uh-huh.
They decide who's the most beautiful
trans woman in the world.
[gasps] Ai. You're adorable.
You should enter.
- Right?
- She Should!
- I'm interested, but I'm kinda busy.
- Then I'll enter!
- I will represent Japan!
- [Jennifer] No, please. You can't!
Japan will sink. [Laughing]
[Marumi] Hey girl,
what did you just say to me?!
You said that, queen!
Not again! She's been saying that forever.
[all laughing]
[Megumi] Ai, did you hear about Dr. Wada?
Hear what?
Someone died during one of his operations.
Are you serious?
[Jennifer] People have been saying
it wasn't Dr. Wada's fault,
so it should be fine.
[Megumi and Marumi] Mm-hmm.
- [Marumi] Girl, your bubbles are flat.
- [Jennifer] You made them flat!
[Marumi] Oh, no.
[indistinct chatter]
- [woman] He's here!
- Dr. Wada's here!
- [man] Dr. Wada!
- [all clamoring]
[cameras clicking]
[clamoring continues]
What do you think
about sex change surgery?
[man] We need to know!
People need to know about it!
- [reporters] Dr. Wada!
- Excuse me.
- [door opens]
- [Wada sighs]
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Who knows when we'll open
with all this going on.
Doctor, here.
- What?
- The list of patients who want surgery.
It's increased
since the beginning of this month.
This many?
Yes.
THANK YOU, DR. WADA
I'M GOING TO SHINE BRIGHFROM AI
[crowd cheering on TV]
[woman on TV in Japanese]
Is everyone well?
- [crowd on TV cheering]
- [woman laughs]
[lip-synching to woman on TV]
You are? I wonder why.
Hey, guess what?
That's right. I finally made it to Nagoya.
[woman on TV giggles]
Thank you.
[TV audience cheering, applauding]
I go on tour each and every summer,
but I was a little late this year,
and now we're in chilly November.
It's so cold, so, like, the only thing
to do now is to warm ourselves back up.
- Isn't that right?
- [in English] Hey there. [Chuckles]
- Ah! Sorry about that! [Chuckles]
- It's been a while.
Aw, I'm so happy you came!
So am I.
What were you lip-synching for?
Were you practicing? Kyon Kyon, huh?
- [Ai] Yeah.
- You remembered it perfectly.
I memorized it because
it was on every day.
Wow, you memorized it like a pro.
Oh! You should do it as a bit.
It'd be funny if you did other people too.
Who, me?
It'd be funny. I'd laugh. [Chuckles]
Oh! You're gonna be an idol,
so you don't need to be funny or anything.
Sorry if I said
something unnecessary. I forgot.
Hmm. What should I have?
Now then. Shall we get started today?
[Wada laughs]
What is it?
This time would be
better used for surgeries.
You just want
to make me the bad guy, don't you?
Without even proper investigation,
you're trying to make the cause of death
an overdose of anesthesia
because it's the most obvious.
I'm really shocked.
Do you actually think of us that way?
You know what?
I've finally realized something.
Go on.
It's not doctors who save patients.
It's the opposite.
Doctors are being kept alive by the power
of the patients' desire to live.
Right.
As a way to say thanks,
we take our jobs seriously
and try to reduce patients' suffering,
even if only a little.
Simply curing illnesses and injuries
isn't what saves them from suffering.
It's something
far more important than that.
Doctors face each and every patient
and do our best
to support them in every way!
That's the sole reason
doctors exist as a profession!
[breathing heavily]
Doctors and medical care
have always existed
since the birth of humanity.
Long before countries and laws
came to be created.
And that is exactly why we will
always be the winners in the end.
[distant siren wailing]
[gentle music playing]
It's impossible.
I can't become an idol.
But I really wanted it.
- [door opens]
- [door bells jangle]
Doctor.
[gentle music continues]
[Wada] I had some business in Tokyo.
[Ai] Are you all right?
The clinic had an accident.
[Wada] Hmm.
How about you?
Are you doing okay?
[Ai chuckles] Of course I am.
Everything's amazing.
That's great.
You made the right decision.
You're shining in Tokyo, too, then.
I'm not shining at all.
I think my light may have burned out.
[chuckles softly]
I've been struggling
Since I came to Tokyo.
What am I doing with my life?
You know, Ai
You're the one who led me on my path.
The orchiectomy.
The sex change surgery.
I'm on my path
because you shined your light on it.
Although
Your path has only led you here.
You know, I
I caused the death
Of a precious patient
who put their trust in me.
Were we doing the right thing?
Or the wrong thing?
The right thing Doctor! Absolutely!
None of it was wrong.
Neither of us made any mistakes!
You have to keep going, Doctor.
I can still do more.
I'm gonna do
more and more and more until I die!
[sobs]
We can shine.
[crying]
[Wada] I'm leaving.
I'm sorry for getting sentimental.
I've decided to resume
the surgeries tomorrow.
That's why I wanted to see you.
Bye.
[door bells jangle]
[door closes]
[pensive music playing]
[monitor beeping]
[Wada] It's over there.
[woman] Here.
- [Wada] Clip it.
- [woman] Okay.
[Kyon Kyon on TV] I still have
a long way to go.
[Ai whispering along] So if you look
from the side like this,
you can see
how they built things up one by one.
Like this.
And, you know,
all those people are standing tall,
And they are so amazing, and well,
what I'm doing is just placing
some things somewhere out on the ground.
It's so low,
you can't see the shape of it.
And you might start to wonder
what I'm doing. But
[pensive music continues]
[sighs]
"NEWHALF" FOUND DECEASED
IN A BOTCHED UNDERGROUND
SEX CHANGE SURGERY
[closes publication]
[sniffs]
[music fades]
- [man 1] Let's do it.
- [man 2] Let's go home.
You're just stressed
because you're left-handed.
[man 1] "Because you're left-handed?"
[man 2] My right elbow
is stressing you out?
[muffled conversation]
- [man 1] Who's gonna die? Not me.
- [man 2]Scary.
- [man 3] Yeah, you.
- [man 2 laughs]
- [Ai yelps] Ah!
- I'm not scared of whatever you're
[men chattering]
Hi, may I help you?
Hey, who is this?
What? You're on your way here?
- [man 1] What? What?
- [Ai] I'm so excited!
Yes! I can't wait
till you get here! [Laughing]
- [man 1] What are you excited about?
- [man 2] Who's coming?
Listen up.
Get presentable, everyone.
A famous idol is coming here!
- [man 1] Huh?
- [man 2, man 3] What?
I'm sure she'll be arriving
any minute now.
- [man 2 laughs] I don't think so. Whoa.
- [man 3] Who is she?
- I wasn't told. Were you?
- [laughs] You're excited.
- Idol
- What?
- [large audience cheering over PA]
- [men chattering]
[upbeat pop music playing over PA]
[lip-synching to Japanese lyrics]
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
Which do you prefer?
I can't decide!
[men chattering]
Because I am
A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you
[audience on TV chanting in English]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Yeah! [Uproarious cheering]
[lip-synching to woman
speaking Japanese] Hello, Tokyo.
It is I. Aya Matsuura!
- [in English] She's Ayaya!
- I got it, I got it.
The idol, yeah.
[in Japanese] This morning
[man chuckles]
I think
I woke up at 9:00.
So I went to wash up.
I have my toothpaste,
and next to the toothpaste
is my face cleanser.
I grabbed the tube
and started washing my face.
[men laugh]
And I thought to myself
- Yo, this cleanser feels different.
- [laughing]
- [in English] Her face!
- Her face is funny.
And that's when it dawned on me.
Oopsie! Wrong one.
"Yeah! It's a holiday!"
Yeah! It's a holiday!
That's my joyful wish this summer
Yeah! Jump into summertime
I wanna fall in love
Yeah!
[bar patrons cheering, whooping]
Ai! Ai!
[in English] Come here!
Why are you doing this
if you want to be an idol?
- I've been thinking.
- Yeah?
I should only do what I can do, right?
[slurring] That's cool, I love it.
It wasn't only cool, it was amazing!
Oh! Can I pitch you to my boss for a show?
I think you're gonna be a sensation!
- Oh my God!
- [man in glasses] I'm not lying!
- I'm for real!
- [laughing]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[lip-synching to Japanese lyrics]
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
- [laughter]
- Which do you prefer?
I can't decide! I wanna catch your eye
Because I am
A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you
[audience clapping along]
[laughter]
- [laughs]
- [in English] She's the next big thing.
Yes, definitely. The next big thing.
[audience cheering, applauding]
- [in Japanese] "Yeah! It's a holiday!"
- [performers laughing]
Yeah! It's a holiday!
- That's my joyful wish this summer
- [laughing]
- Yeah! Jump into summertime
- [brother laughing]
- I wanna fall in love
- [Ai's brother in English] She's a hit.
- [both laughing]
- [TV audience laughing]
- She's hilarious. Never would've thought.
- [man on TV] Welcome!
Nice to meet you. Please welcome
our special guest today, Haruna Ai!
Good evening. I'm Haruna Ai.
- It's so nice to meet you all!
- [man chuckles] Nice to meet you!
- Wow. You are so cute.
- [poignant music playing]
- Really?
- I would date you in a second.
She was actually born a boy.
[man] Oh, you're an okama.
Never mind then.
Oh, you said that! [Laughing]
[chuckling]
- [man on TV] You really can't tell.
- She's great.
If you didn't know,
you'd think she was born a woman.
[Ai] Yeah, I might just follow
a guy like you home.
- [man 2] Well, well, well.
- [man 1] No, I changed my mind.
[Ai] There you go again!
You just said you liked me. He's just shy.
- [laughter]
- [man 1] There must a be a lot going on
- [poignant music continues]
- [Wada writing]
[music builds]
[sighs]
TO TENMA WEST POLICE
OFFICIAL OPINION
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
REGARDING THE CAUSE OF DEATH,
IT IS MY OFFICIAL OPINION THAT
[sighs deeply]
I DID WHAT I COULD.
IF I AM TO BE TRIED FOR NOBEING ABLE TO SAVE A LIFE
- [poignant music continues]
- [TV mute]
[music fades]
- [keys jangle]
- [sniffs]
[distant chattering]
[faint hum of traffic]
- [taps papers on desk]
- [sighs]
There we go.
Another mess.
Morning.
Time to wake up.
[equipment humming]
Doctor?
Doctor?
- Wow, wow, wow!
- [Ai laughing]
You know, Ai, you were amazing tonight.
Another huge laugh after last week.
- It's exciting.
- [laughs]
Everyone is loving your act, Ai.
Not just the audience.
I think that you've won
the production's hearts as well!
- [man] Yes!
- All thanks to you, Ms. Fuji, and you.
[Fuji] You're the best, Ai.
Can't wait to see what else you bring.
- I'm looking forward to it.
- So am I.
- Great work. See you next week!
- Thanks so much!
- See you next week!
- Have a good night.
- [man] Thank you!
- Thanks so much!
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
Ai speaking.
Hello. This is Kiyomiya from Wada Clinic.
Hi! It's been a while.
[somber music playing]
DR. KOJI WADA HAS PASSED AWAY.
THE CLINIC IS CLOSED.
DR. WADA
[buzz of traffic]
- [pedestrians chattering]
- [bicycle bell rings]
[music fades]
My girls and I,
we're all in shock too.
Things must have been exhausting
after that incident.
Poor guy.
He didn't even have
a lawyer to defend him.
He wanted to tell the truth himself.
In the end [sighs]
charges were filed for what they said
was improper use of anesthesia.
It's unfortunate.
There were still
a lot of patients waiting for him.
So he was doing these surgeries
without even sleeping.
He was so tired.
But he couldn't sleep a wink.
He started using anesthesia
to fall asleep.
[laughs]
I guess he got the dosage wrong.
He made a lot of women cry.
What a bad man.
Aki.
Dr. Wada visited
my bar after the accident.
I told him that we weren't a mistake.
I told him
that we could shine even brighter.
I really wanted to show the doctor
How much brighter I could shine.
- But he already saw you shine...
- Not how I wanted!
This isn't all I have. [Sniffs]
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
I don't want to stop halfway.
I want to go all the way.
I'm gonna put my all
into shining brighter.
Do you think Wada will know?
Absolutely, he will.
I bet his eyes'll be wide open
watching from the other side.
He's gonna get dry eyes. All 'cause of Ai.
[poignant music playing]
[man over PA]
What a wonderful evening it's been.
So many smiles, so much passion,
and incredible stories
from around the world.
Each one reminds us
true beauty shines in so many ways.
- [Jennifer] No.
- [man] And we celebrate them all.
- Next, representing Japan.
- We made it.
[man] She lights up every heart
with her warmth and joyful spirit.
Please welcome Haruna Ai!
- [upbeat pop music playing]
- [audience cheering]
[in Japanese] I got a new hairdo
You say I look so different
You're looking pretty bashful
As you're walking past me
- I wish you had told me
- Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh
You think I look pretty
You're always hesitating
It's like you're behind a veil
Ai!
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Open up that door
To summer
And whisk me away somewhere
[in English] Fresh, fresh, fresh!
[in Japanese] Summer's gonna
Open the door
And take us just the way we are
[uproarious cheering]
[song subsides]
[solemn music playing]
[sobs]
[exhales]
[music intensifies]
[cheering continues]
KOJI WADA
1953-2007
[inhales]
Doctor,
are you impressed?
I'm the best in the world.
But you're beyond this world.
You'll always be
more amazing than me, though.
You've performed over 600 surgeries.
That's the most impressive thing ever.
It all started with me, huh?
My operations.
I was your first patient for both.
Guess what?
I'll always hold that in my heart.
Will you watch me shine?
I'm gonna sing
and I'm gonna dance.
Watch me, okay?
This performance is for you.
You let me shine.
Thank you, Doctor.
You're the reason that I
If I hadn't met you
[sniffles]
[crying]
Thank you.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[in Japanese] Goodbye, sweet pain
Those nights spent
With my chin in my hands
Ended yesterday
I want to make sure
That we met meant something
So I open my eyes in the darkness
Footsteps race
Along the emergency stairs
I want them to echo
In a world that's fast asleep
A motorbike abandoned in a vacant lot
Graffiti on the wall
I look up to it all
[women] Ai!
True grief
Can only be healed from within
I'm beginning
To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I set them free
Feel my heartache
I'm surrounded by smiles
But the lonely nights are hard
I want to share it
The words scribbled
In the margins of my textbook
Are coming to life
DR. KOJI WADA OFFERED
AFFORDABLE GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE
WITH GREAT DEDICATION
TO MANY PEOPLE EXPERIENCING
GENDER DYSPHORIA.
HE PERFORMED OVER 600 OPERATIONS
THROUGHOUT HIS LIFETIME.
There is a strength to being alone
And I don't want to lose it
In the throngs of this city
I'd like to keep seeking my revolution
I'm gonna make tomorrow different
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
This is how I live my life
Nobody can tell me how to live it
I want to watch it with you
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I want
To hold them tight
I'm beginning
To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
[in English] My tears, my dreams
[in Japanese] Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
[in English] My fears, my dreams
[in Japanese] I set them free
[music fades]
[gentle music playing]
Subtitle Translation by: Rychelle Brittain