This Life of Mine (2024) Movie Script
1
Hmm. No.
Why pretend?
MY LIFE
Arial. OK, Arial, not bad.
Clean, straight, simple.
Is it clean or is it nothing?
I say clean, but...
maybe it's nothing.
Arial Hebrew? Really?
Arial Hebrew Scholar?
Fine, OK. No comment.
An anorexic font.
Well, one that watches
what it eats, at least.
A font that weighs itself
every morning.
Avenir Black and Oblique. No.
Thanks, but no.
Avenir Medium. Ah, yes.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
My life,
my face.
my life...
BANG!
Hi there.
Sorry, but I can't really talk.
Well, I'll let you go.
Are you busy? What are you doing?
I'm at the gym.
Good for you.
I don't know how you do it.
Every time I try to go, I stare
at my stuff for three hours...
Wait.
-I'm putting my earphones in.
-Okay.
-Can you hear me?
-Yeah.
Yeah. I tell myself:
"I'll make coffee.
"Come on, just a little coffee.
" Can you hear me?
Hello?
Yes, can you hear me?
You're on your computer,
watching your hammerhead sharks?
I'm watching music videos.
Julien Dor.
Ah, Julien Dor.
He's so cute with his hair clip.
What song is that?
Uh. "Love You Like a Lake."
Ah, "Love You Like a Lake."
With Pamela Anderson at the end,
she was good though.
I like "Coco Cline."
OK, I'll leave you to it.
I'm ending my session.
I can't do it today.
I need to get home quickly to shower.
Oh really?
There's construction.
They're cutting the water.
You never told me
how it went with your Italian.
Oh. No word back.
It was doomed from the start.
Anyway,
it's really hard to
meet men right now.
For two years, I tried,
the guy seems decent enough
and all that, when you meet him,
he always talks about his wife,
then his kids,
then he asks questions:
"Do you like nature?
"Do you like reading?
"The last book I read was
The Lost Estate, in 9th grade.
And it makes him laugh.
You look at him and you're appalled.
No, I already checked.
What are you saying?
Nothing, I thought I forgot
something at the gym.
Oh, damn.
But I didn't.
Are you on the street?
I'm almost home.
Did I tell you about Ppito?
He's at the vet's.
Last night, he threw up.
I try to catch him, he won't let me,
he hides under the couch,
scratches me.
I get to the vet's,
the cat completely traumatized,
and the girl looks at me and says:
"Listen here, lady..."
I just got home,
I really need to hang up.
Oh, okay. I'll let you go.
Have the guys arrived yet?
Who?
I mean, the guys coming
to cut off the water.
You said they were
cutting off your water.
No, no. It's fine, I have time.
Makeup.
Hi, Barbie.
Yeah.
Forget it.
Have a good day, love.
...this girl
who had very affected diction
and an extremely shrill voice,
or nasal, or one of the two,
or both.
In any case, definitely exasperating.
I'd hear her say: "Oh,
but that's not my nature.
"That's really not my nature."
She was always going on
about her nature.
I didn't know if I even knew
what my nature was.
I panicked.
I thought: "I'm 55,
"and I still don't know my nature."
I don't even know what that means.
She knows.
Do you know my nature?
Yes.
I wasn't expecting
such a clear answer.
So this girl was talking to this guy,
a writer... much older,
and I couldn't tell if he wanted her
in his bed or in his book.
And she said...
she said...
Is this ostrich new?
I probably didn't want to see it.
Very well.
No, but because... ostrich,
burying your head in the sand.
Very well.
But am I okay?
Yes. Yes, I'm fine.
Did you flush properly?
What?
Because it looked like
you were checking
that you had flushed.
No, but it's... Good session.
Wait, what were you saying?
I said:
"It's because she's all alone."
She has me.
I have you. She doesn't.
You're never here
and you live at your dad's.
She has her Jean-Jacques.
Yeah,
the guy she's not sleeping with.
How do you know they're not sleeping
together? How can you tell?
Don't you remember
we used to count the condoms?
The stock never went down.
Maybe he brings his own condoms.
Yeah, but honestly,
who'd want to sleep
with her nowadays.
Honey.
-Mom?
-Oh, well.
What are you doing here?
Hi, Marjolaine.
What are you doing here?
Well... I was passing by.
I mean, I...
I just got here, wanted to sit down.
You're eating McDonald's?
Since when do you eat McDonald's?
It's a one-off, Rose.
You hungry? Want some?
Do you want some?
Are you okay? Won't you tell me
if you're okay?
You okay, honey?
Need some money?
I'm fine.
Where are you going?
You're not going
to that shrink again?
No. No, I stopped. I'm much better.
Yeah?
I'm fine, Rose, really.
My mom and dad started doing yoga,
and it's really helping them.
If you want, I can...
ask them for the number.
No, I'm good. Thanks though.
Your dad and mom, together?
Not everyone's separated
like you, Mom.
Well...
But... I'm not separated, Rose.
From Dad? You totally are.
From Dad, yes. Yes,
from Dad. But I mean,
if I fill out a form,
for example, if I register,
I don't check "separated." Well,
I don't anymore.
What are you talking about?
Census?
Have you been counted recently?
No, but it could happen,
at some point in one's life,
being counted.
I don't know, Mom.
We have a DS, right?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we have DS.
-We have a test, Mom.
-Yes.
Yes, sorry. A test, yes, yes.
Shall we kiss?
Do you know what a test is?
Well yes. Well, a test...
it's an assignment...
an assignment...
a supervised test.
That's good, Mom. That's good.
The rats of the sky.
Yes, the rats of the sky.
I am French, actually.
Me too.
I know you're French.
In fact, you're Katerine Philippe.
Actually, it's the other way around,
it's Philippe Katerine.
Oh yes, the other way around.
And you, you're...
little Bichette Barbie.
What?
What did you say?
Well, the pigeons didn't
leave you a single crumb.
A crumb, a crumb.
Yes, a crumb.
A nice little crumb, one last crumb,
another crumb.
It sounds good, crumb.
Thanks for this little bit.
-Goodbye. See you soon.
-Goodbye.
And thank you.
Sorry, I forgot the sugar.
Don't apologize. Never apologize.
You're the 9th grade intern?
Do you know if Bichette arrived?
Haven't you seen Mrs. Bichette?
Don't you have any sweeteners?
Sorry, excuse me, I forgot.
What did I just say?
You don't apologize, ever.
You say: "Aspartame is bad for
your health." You don't apologize.
Go on, don't be shy,
assert yourself. Go on, say it.
Go ahead.
Aspartame is...
What's Bichette doing? Damn it.
She already canceled yesterday.
Should we start without her?
It's 25 past.
But we already started.
Don't you have
a slogan for a whole wheat cereal
with a hole in the middle?
Go make photocopies, kid.
"A day of sleep...
"A muffled day...
"Inside,
"Day of nothing,
"A dog day
"That we don't take out
"A day we leave panting
"Without giving it water
"Or thirst"
Barberie?
What's a dog day?
What's the connection?
There's no connection, it's a poem.
I can't believe it. Who writes poems?
Well, Barbie Bichette sometimes does.
Not necessarily a good sign,
but it happens.
Not thirsty, nothing.
Not thirsty.
Not thirsty, nothing.
Joachim?
She was here first.
No, it's fine, go ahead.
Well, if it's yours,
it's yours, Barbie.
I'd rather you go first.
Don't argue. Come on.
It's crazy to squeeze in like that.
But I'm not squeezing.
You really don't get it.
What was that about?
Don't you get that if I feel
he's waiting for me to leave,
it makes me uncomfortable.
It's not the same
when I feel my time is limited.
Your time, not at all. He'll wait.
No problem at all.
You still got those bitch cigarettes?
-Can I?
-Yeah.
Didn't you quit?
I started again.
Is that Dad's lighter?
Well, you don't smoke anymore,
so he gave it to me.
You can keep it if you want,
I don't care.
I'm always afraid of losing it,
having it stolen,
it's a poisoned gift.
Is this to make up for something?
No, but... it's fine,
I'm kidding, I forgot.
I swear I forgot.
You look like it, yeah.
You shouldn't have gone
through my texts.
I didn't go through them.
It rang,
Mom handed me your phone
thinking it was mine,
and I read it. Yes, I read it, I...
One line doesn't take long to read.
You wanted me to gouge my eyes out?
For instance, yes.
Look, that's just how Bastien is,
he talks badly about people.
People?
But I'm not just people,
he was talking about me.
If he does that, it's because...
you let him, or even encourage him.
Stop it now.
Why exactly did you come?
Do you ever think in the morning,
"How many fucking showers left
before I die?"
No, but fuck, how many exactly?
Do you think that?
Don't throw your cigarette
in the street.
Here.
You know, I shower at night.
You sure you're okay, Barbs?
No, I never said I was okay.
Ma'am? Ma'am?
She told me to give you this.
Ah. Well yes. No, yes,
if only I could go out like this
all the time,
skillfully draped.
I absolutely must do some sit-ups.
But first... first,
I need to find my
zest for life again.
I just didn't hear you come in.
You scared me.
You could've said something.
I thought you were showering
with someone. I was about to leave.
Showering with someone? No, I wish.
Mom, I don't need to know that.
But I'm telling you I don't do it.
Yeah, well, same thing.
You heard me talking, right?
Because I was... rehearsing a text.
A presentation for the agency,
out loud.
Yeah.
I thought you were working on
a cereal with a hole in the middle.
Yes.
And on an ab belt.
Yeah.
You planning to get dressed?
You speak well, honey.
Yeah, relax,
I just came for toilet paper.
My card's not working,
I can't shop anymore.
Don't panic, only two rolls.
I know your obsession
with stocking up.
Do you need money, honey?
Stop offering us money all the time,
you don't even have any.
Did you see your sister?
Toilet paper obsession.
Yes, I saw her last night at Dad's.
Well yes, at Dad's.
Do you have a yellow vest?
-Yes. You, no?
-Well, no. No.
Thanks.
Keep it...
But... it's...
-is it for the bike or...?
-Wait.
You're all set.
And be careful, Junior.
And you go to college.
Living alone depends on you not...
skipping classes.
Oh, come on.
Thanks for not locking me in.
Make up your mind, Mom.
You always say "lock up behind you".
Well, I've changed.
At night, I shine.
Can I help you?
No thanks, I know my way around.
Is Beatrice here?
Beatrice?
Yes, Beatrice, the creator.
Beatrice, the creator.
Oh, you mean Beatrix.
It's Beatrix, actually.
Yes, Beatrix, the creatrix.
She's in the back.
Should I go get her?
Please.
Oh, hello. How are you?
Since last time?
It was for this necklace,
I think, the Pense.
I'm only wearing it now
because it didn't bring me luck.
I'm sorry.
That one, my 17-year-old daughter
didn't want it.
It was for her birthday.
That one, when I got divorced,
I treated myself.
That one, when I found work.
And today?
And today, it's because
I'm quitting my job.
It's nice wearing them all together.
I want to remember everything
at every moment.
Excuse me, remind me of your name?
Bichette. Two T's,
E. Barberie, first name.
So, a Princess bracelet, yellow gold.
You treated yourself
to this bracelet.
How do you know it's not a gift?
I feel everything.
I'm hypersensitive.
Just look at you,
you treated yourself.
My fianc always tells me:
"You see everything."
I say "fianc"
because we're not married yet.
It would be July 16th.
Then we're going to Sri Lanka
for our honeymoon.
Are there hummingbirds in Sri Lanka?
Yes, probably.
And botanical gardens
as far as the eye can see.
Would you mind pressing the button?
Oh yes, of course.
It's swaying a bit, isn't it?
Must be the meds.
Want me to help with your bags?
That's kind, thanks. I'd like that.
Thank you so much.
You're a lifesaver.
No, I'm not going, I'm not going...
Really, thank you.
No.
Thank you.
I went down
and carried all her bags
to the bottom of her building.
Who does that?
You do.
I meant her, making me do that.
Let's talk about you instead.
You're annoying me.
Oh really?
No, but now even more.
Inside, I'm boiling.
You can't see it, but I'm boiling.
Your "hmm," "yes," "very good."
Very good what?
Walking out, I think:
"What's so great about it?"
What's so great, really.
It's all just an act.
You're playing the shrink,
I'm playing the patient.
Two monkeys sitting face to face.
What's that monkey?
There, on the shelf?
That's impossible,
did you put it there?
It wasn't there last time?
Why do you have all this stuff
anyway?
Oh right, for the children.
You sometimes see children, right?
Do you see children, yes or no?
What's stopping you from answering
this simple question?
One moment, please.
Yes?
Absolutely.
And elderly people?
Do you see elderly people?
Come Thursday, 4 PM.
Will you see me when I'm old?
I'll arrive with my cane,
I'll have that disease
that makes old people hunch over,
and then...
I'll pull out my money
with shaky hands.
And you'll take it,
shaking even more.
I'll have a handkerchief
in my sleeve.
Oh, I already have one.
Magic tricks.
Magic tricks.
How is your father, by the way?
He hasn't done tricks in a long time.
He has arthritis, so his dexterity...
And he's bedridden now.
But sometimes he still
gets out a deck of cards,
but does nothing.
He taps it and puts it away.
I know you can hear me perfectly.
I'm not signing this bogus paper.
Listen, I'll give you two euros
if you want. Here.
I'm telling you I'll give you
two euros, stop with that paper.
Go to the garden,
there are plenty of tourists there.
Get out of here now. Come on,
scram, that's enough.
Don't talk to them like that,
it's not right.
They're just kids.
Come on, let's go.
Don't touch them!
They're with me. There.
Three grenadines.
There you go.
Here.
No, I have my pen.
"And have I fallen so low
"That I write this, I write that?
"Did I order a fried egg
"Or decide to leave it at that?"
It's a poem.
Well, you can read.
Because I'm a poet.
Poet.
I've been published before.
Poet. Poet.
Poet.
Old bitch.
Can I pay, please?
The gentleman already paid.
We can dream.
You forgot your cup.
Nobody's perfect.
Do you know who I am?
Do you remember me or...?
You really don't see?
Oh, but that's... that's shoe polish.
I'm an actor,
just came from rehearsal.
Is there much left?
Come on, make an effort.
Think childhood.
No.
Please.
Barberie.
I hope you're not Arthur,
who used to stick
chestnut leaf stems up my ass
making me think
they were suppositories?
Excuse me?
I won't repeat it,
you heard me perfectly.
Oh no, I'm not Arthur.
Oh, too bad.
Too bad,
because I could have taken the chance
to punch you in the face.
Sorry,
I'm violent, but it's because I'm...
I'm tired.
No, but I like your violence.
I don't like that
you like my violence.
That doesn't sound good to me.
Philippe Atlan?
The white leather clogs?
Krescant, in Finistre?
The quicksand?
No, it can't be you. You died at 22.
Your tent caught fire in Saint-Vran.
Yes?
You're him? And you're dead?
That's right, yes, a ghost.
Don't come near me.
That's enough now,
you're making me say
things that rhyme.
Calm down. I'll go with you.
Go with me where?
I don't want to die.
No, I don't want to go. Stay back.
I'm just Bertrand, little Bertrand.
Your little neighbor from Mussidan.
Bertrand from Mussidan.
Bertrand?
So you go by Bertrand?
That's not stupid.
It's actually quite clever.
Come closer.
Come closer now, Bertrand.
So, if you are death
and they call you Bertrand,
know that I won't come, Bertrand.
No, I won't come.
I'm not ready, Bertrand. No.
No. And I'd add...
It'll be okay. It'll be okay.
I'd add that...
I don't have time to die, Bertrand.
I don't feel very well.
Well, yes.
You can call my children.
BANG...
Excuse me, do you have a stirrer?
Yes.
Thank you very much.
What?
Nothing, nothing.
You've got a stirrer on you,
what can I do about it?
We do as the receptionist said,
leave the suitcase here and go.
No, I want to wait for the doctor.
Tonight Boulin's on duty,
he's pretty cool.
Except he wears bow ties.
-OK.
-OK.
No, thanks.
Good evening.
Rose?
Rose?
Come here.
Come see.
It looks like her, right? Mom?
No.
Sorry, but it does.
That's not her.
I swear it's her.
You never see her, you don't know.
-Yes?
-Hello. Tea or coffee?
Both, please, Fanfan.
Yes, that's right, both.
My name is Aya, not Fanfan.
Yes, but to me, you're also Fanfan.
OK.
Do you know when
I can see my children?
No, I'm sorry.
-I'll make my bed, Fanfan.
-Yes, alright, Fanfan.
Hi, Barbie.
You can ask for hot water.
Did you know?
Come in.
So, how are you today, Barbie?
So, how are you today?
I hear you don't like
being called Barbie.
I can understand that.
Who told you that?
What do you mean, you can understand?
It's hard to bear,
that's all I meant.
Generally, for a woman.
For any woman.
I wasn't implying anything...
specific about you.
To you personally, I mean.
Or your appearance, of course.
My appearance?
What's wrong with my appearance?
Well, clearly,
we're getting off
on the wrong foot today.
So, tell me, how are you feeling?
Ugly.
But I mean, how do you feel...
how's your mood?
I took apart my lamp.
Mm-hmm. I see, yes.
Why?
I was hoping there'd be a camera,
a little camera.
A tiny camera.
You were hoping?
Yes, or at least a microphone.
But there's nothing at all.
You would've wanted a camera?
Yes. Yes.
Something rather
than nothing, always.
And it reassures me to be watched.
Do you have reasons to think
you should be watched?
Didn't the other one
tell you anything?
That I was afraid of...
That you were afraid of...
that you were afraid of death, yes.
So you remember?
The so-called Bertrand?
Who supposedly brought me here?
To this so-called clinic?
No, it's fine, it's fine,
I know it's really a clinic.
It really happened like that,
you know.
You even listed him
as emergency contact.
I'm removing him.
No, put me as emergency contact.
Oh, no.
That's not possible.
No, that's not possible, no.
What if I promise there won't be
any emergencies, Dr. Fanfan?
I'm Boulin, Dr. Boulin.
OK.
Dr. Boulin Fanfan.
Who's Fanfan?
I was told you call out for Fanfan...
Fanfan is...
it's Fanfan.
Fanfan is you, it's her...
it's me.
Fanfan, that's who we are.
I understand myself.
This feeling you have
of understanding yourself,
do you have other examples?
When there's a hole,
I think of a rat.
And when there's a rat,
I think of a hole.
And it's the same for everything,
Dr. Fanfan.
That said, I can understand the rat.
We're going to help you here, okay?
Are you tolerating
your treatment well?
Yes.
Were you taking it regularly?
Your children couldn't answer that.
My children? But... did they come?
Rose too?
Yes, to bring your things.
They hoped to see you,
but I think it's too early.
Were you taking your medication?
Sometimes I forgot, but not often.
Are those chocolates?
Yes. They're for another room. Sorry.
No, I thought my kids might...
but no.
Right.
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
What do they give you
for a full bottle?
Nothing.
Good, nothing.
-Slim pickings.
-Yeah. Small beer.
Oh yes, a small beer.
Me too, a nice cold beer.
Oh, careful, it's freezing.
It's open. Shall we go?
You know one of them smokes
in his room, Fanfan?
Yes, I know. Thanks, Fanfan.
Sometimes I turn a blind eye.
Well, nose.
Good evening.
Evening, Mrs. Bichette.
Can I have my little something?
Thank you.
Not feeling well tonight?
Can I stay with you a bit?
No, that's not possible,
it's reserved for medical staff.
Would you like us to
call the doctor on duty?
Which one?
It's Dr. Radjabov.
The Azerbaijani chess player?
He's a doctor here?
No, no. Well, I don't think so.
You've seen him before.
He's not very tall,
kind, with a mustache.
I was hoping for Fanfan.
But Mrs. Bichette,
you need to stop saying Fanfan
all the time.
You know,
as long as you call everyone that...
Yes, I know.
Can I have my second
little something?
No, it's too early. We'll see
at midnight, if you're not sleeping.
So you play chess then?
No, that's my son.
He went through a phase.
How old is your son?
He's 22, he's grown up.
What's your eldest son's name?
He's not called Fanfan, is he?
You know what he's called,
it must be in my file,
surely...
Do you play chess?
No.
Me neither.
The champion is my cousin, Teimour.
My son plays.
Junior. His name is Junior.
That's good.
The nurses think you have a mustache.
A mustache? Why do they think that?
I don't know.
Can you leave it on, please?
I'm not even getting burnt.
I'm numb.
Or insulated. Yes,
that's it, insulated.
Maybe it's the meds.
I'm not shaking.
No, because some people
shake from meds.
No, no, I'm not shaking.
I talk to myself, that...
Yes, I have to face it,
I talk to myself.
But it reassures me.
Before, when it slipped away,
it worried me,
but now, it reassures me.
126 beats per minute,
that's perfect for you.
Focus on the landscape.
Look how beautiful it is.
I don't like it.
I know this machine.
How do we change it?
It's Buckskin Gulch,
Vermilion Park, in Utah.
But I don't like landscapes.
Especially this one.
Yet it's magnificent.
Incredible, even.
"Wakatipu"? OK. Wakatipu.
What's next?
"Lake shaped like an inverted N
or a dog's paw."
The lake is shaped
like an inverted N?
Or a dog's paw?
An upside-down N is still an N.
Why don't they just say...
that it looks like an N?
No, they say upside-down N
or dog's paw.
How does a dog's paw look like an N?
-Upside-down or not.
-I don't know.
"Takakkaw.
"Takakkaw is a Cree word
meaning magnificent."
A Cree word?
Takakkaw.
It's a small N, a lowercase N.
The dog's paw is shaped
like a lowercase N.
-You see?
-Oh, yes.
You have one hour.
I trust you to return it.
Thank you.
Aren't you happy to have it?
Yes, yes. Thank you. Adle, right?
That's right.
You okay, Mrs. Bichette?
What's wrong?
I don't know. It's hard to say.
I think I'd like to go home, but...
I'm not even sure.
If I'm not sure of that,
what can I be sure of? Nothing?
Do you know this game?
I have to guess what character I am.
Yes, I know it.
Oh, good.
See, we think of you.
Yeah, not my kids, not a trace.
Your kids knew
you weren't allowed your phone.
I'll let you answer in peace.
Could you bring me some toilet paper?
I'll have some brought to you.
Thanks.
Oh, I...
Yeah, Barbie, it's us. Well, it's me.
But it's all of us. We're
thinking of you, we miss you here.
We were wondering if
you might want to...
Well, reconsider.
Take some time for yourself,
write your... your stuff,
your own stuff.
Get better and come back.
I can't keep second-guessing myself.
No, thanks.
Thanks for letting me come.
No, I should thank you.
Without you,
I could've ended up anywhere.
Still nothing?
Still nothing? I don't get it.
Nothing? You don't see?
No. Really, I'm... I'm sorry.
You came to Mussidan every holiday.
Mussidan, near Bergerac?
Yes, I know where Mussidan is,
my grandparents had a house there.
No, I... I went everywhere.
And you, I swear, no.
Wasn't it just a big lie?
A lie?
Yes, well, a lie.
To... Well, to approach me?
No, definitely not.
What do you mean, "definitely not"?
No. Well, yes.
I might have wanted to,
but not now.
How would I know all that?
I don't know, maybe...
you knew me, but I didn't know you.
No, it must be someone else.
And it's probably someone
other than you.
It was us, and it's still us,
here, now.
You had an English pen pal
who came every summer.
You loved The White Stone.
The White Stone?
A serial. We called them serials.
You wanted to become
that thin blonde girl
who always had a white pebble
in her hand.
Yes, that's right.
And I...
I'd stay awake to get dark circles,
I wanted people to say:
"Her eyes are eating up her face."
or "She's got matchstick legs."
Matchstick what?
To my canary, the bird.
It means skinny legs, very skinny.
Like a canary's little feet.
Like her, the little one
with her white pebble in hand,
all skin and bones
with her scrawny arms
and her sleeveless white dress.
But...
what do you want exactly, Bertrand?
Did you get a good look at me?
I'm not the woman I...
wasn't even back then.
It's far too long ago.
And...
I'm sorry, but...
I'm not interested, Bertrand.
You're not my type at all.
What is your type?
More like Cary Grant, you know.
Yeah, less...
less Bertrand Blanc de Mussidan.
But I don't scare you anymore?
No, that's something at least,
you don't scare me anymore.
No, I don't know,
do like me, move forward.
You have to move forward.
Do you really feel like
you're moving forward?
Absolutely.
BARBERIE BICHETTE
TO YOUNG SOULS
Look, she wrote stuff in her book.
So what?
Put it back, she's coming.
She didn't have any paper,
that's all.
Well, she can ask for some.
Maybe they don't have any.
Is there no paper here?
Stop, that's enough.
It's good she wrote.
We shouldn't have surprised her.
What's she doing?
"Strange compact ladies
"Near the emergency exits
"Sitting there, loveless
"Lower their eyes tactfully
"They feel a certain age
"And the rain and all is mist
"The bus makes its way
"Do they just want to go home?"
It's beautiful.
Well, I think so.
But the bus?
What bus? There's no bus here.
Well, the bus in her head.
She's imagining.
She only wrote one sentence.
"I beg your pardon?
Heathen of this world?"
Come see.
I'm hopeful anyway,
I think it should be fine.
It's funny, I'm scared.
She'll be so happy to see you.
You think?
-She'll be happy to see you too.
-Yeah.
Mom.
Mom.
Where are you?
It'll be okay.
You know it'll be okay.
Your kind will come for you.
I can't take you with me,
you'd be unhappy.
I'm not the girl who talks to birds,
this is an exception.
Why did you sit there, Mom?
What are these tables?
It looks like nothing.
I don't like it at all.
We don't know if it's a bar area,
if we're allowed here.
Come on, let's go inside
and find Junior.
It's nice here.
I just wanted coffee.
I like this in-between space.
I just don't like
these high chairs, I...
I feel... on display.
Perched up here...
On a display?
Mom, you okay?
Mom?
Oh, Mom?
You're somewhere else.
What?
You're somewhere else. Are you?
Yes.
Mom, are you sure you're okay?
Why are you looking at me like that?
What's this for?
It's for your return,
since you're leaving me
to go it alone anyway.
Alone, right now?
I don't know, Mom.
I don't know if it's safe.
Junior won't agree.
I'll... leave my suitcase,
tell him I'm going to the bathroom,
he won't suspect anything.
Then you can explain.
What do I tell her?
What, Mom?
You're leaving on your own,
without luggage?
And we're staying here,
you don't want to take us
because you need to be alone?
Don't you think you're
alone enough already?
Sorry.
I don't feel alone at all.
And I'll be back.
What's with all the emotion?
Here.
I'll be back.
What's she doing? Where's she
going? It's starting soon.
She can go pee, right?
I can't believe she's leaving us?
She has our passports too.
I know.
Well, she's grown up.
She's really grown up.
Can you see her?
Yeah. No, can't see anything.
-She needs to see us.
-Yeah?
She'll be happy.
There, like that, a heart.
-Does that work?
-Yeah.
Mom!
Hey, I can see you.
I can see you.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Do you need help?
Are you lost?
I'm looking for the north exit.
The north exit.
Are you sure?
Yes, north.
You look like a scout.
An adult scout.
And I am.
And you look like a movie star
from the 50s.
A 1950s melodrama?
Yes.
But I'm not.
Alas.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm very OK.
Good.
You're right here,
and you want to go down there,
round there and come out here.
So I do this, then that.
So, this way?
No, no, you want to go that way.
Yeah?
-Thank you.
-No problem.
Goodbye.
Yes, love?
Do you still make your scones,
Pumpkin?
Barberie? What, is that you?
What are you doing here?
You know you're saving me.
Got a smoke? I lost mine.
No, I wasn't far,
and... well, I felt like...
but I wasn't sure
I'd still find you here.
You recognized me right away.
I didn't think you would.
Nobody calls me Pumpkin.
Nobody calls me Pumpkin anymore.
You speak French very
well, no, no, no.
While me, English...
Do you still like eating raw dough?
Yes, I do, Maddie.
No thanks.
You think all English people
make scones?
No, it's for mince pies, Barberie,
it's for mince pies.
My boyfriend's coming for lunch.
Do you have kids?
A boy, yes, Maddox.
He doesn't live with me anymore.
I have two, Junior and Rose.
We were supposed to take the trip
together, the English coast,
all three of us, a week, and then...
And then they bailed on you
last minute, obviously.
No, it's me.
-I needed to...
-To see me.
To give a sign.
Maybe.
Yes.
It passes, right.
Our old cigarettes.
Old. Old cigarettes.
Old like us.
A cigarette from...
43 years ago.
I'll change the lighter,
this is ridiculous.
I kept it in memory of my parents.
Are they dead?
Yes. Both of them. What about you?
My mother, yes. My father's very ill.
They separated the last summer
I came to see you here.
I didn't write to you right away,
then I waited too long,
and it was too important
or not enough.
You know, I wasn't mad at you.
You preferred
your little Bertrand anyway.
And I had my Alex Stewbaker.
Bertrand?
What Bertrand?
Well, Bertrand.
Maddie, which Bertrand?
You know, your little frenchy,
your little froggie from Prigord,
at your grandmother's.
No, you're wrong.
I'm sure you're wrong.
You just don't remember.
Funny, I ran into him by chance.
So it was him?
Well, anyway.
Are you okay, Barberie?
-Want to have lunch with us?
-No, I have to go.
I'm going to the station.
You're leaving already?
Still scared of flying?
Yeah, I'm still scared.
I took the ferry across.
But... now I'm going up, higher.
Where to?
To Glenuaig.
To Glenuaig.
What's in Glenuaig?
There's nothing.
It's very remote, very wild.
Nobody goes.
There's this.
"Save the land
"to become a lord or lady
of Glenuaig."
Does that really exist?
Yes, it exists.
Are you a magician?
Are you a magician?
-A magician?
-Yes.
I do the trick well.
Can you show me?
Sure.
Let's take four ordinary cards.
Two red kings.
We do a wee spin.
Magic rub.
And you come up with two black kings.
But...
with a quick flick,
they turn into four aces.
My father is a magician.
That's good.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, love.
Thank you.
Watch out, it's muddy.
Thank you.
I don't care.
Welcome to Glenuaig.
Reception is this way.
So you do understand English?
It's the same word...
Perfect. Follow me.
-Can I?
-Yes, please.
Shall we go, Lady Bichette?
Here.
-So it is my place?
-Yes, it's here.
This is your place.
Your one square yard.
Takakkaw!
Takakkaw is a... Cree word.
Never mind,
it just means it's beautiful.
I have two children. Do you have any?
Same, two.
-Can I camp here?
-No, no tents allowed.
But even...
under the stars?
The good star?
The good star?
I don't understand.
So you're all set?
Yes. Thank you, madame.
I like my place.
Stop the music!
Stop! Stop the music!
Silence!
Silence!
Silence!
No, really?
Oh, it's...
That's impossible.
Isn't that Mr. Seguin's little goat
I see there?
Huh?
No, but...
the one who fought to the end.
Exactly, Mr. Katerine.
Except... I made it
through the night, damn it.
I damn well beat the wolf.
I totally triumphed.
And what's your name?
What? Lady Bichette?
Yes. Lady Bichette.
With that,
we'll definitely find a song.
A song.
With everything.
Lady Bichette
Braved the storm
Lady Bichette
Lady Bichette
MY LIFE MY FACE
A FILM BY SOPHIE FILLIRES
Laura Haydon
Hmm. No.
Why pretend?
MY LIFE
Arial. OK, Arial, not bad.
Clean, straight, simple.
Is it clean or is it nothing?
I say clean, but...
maybe it's nothing.
Arial Hebrew? Really?
Arial Hebrew Scholar?
Fine, OK. No comment.
An anorexic font.
Well, one that watches
what it eats, at least.
A font that weighs itself
every morning.
Avenir Black and Oblique. No.
Thanks, but no.
Avenir Medium. Ah, yes.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
My life,
my face.
my life...
BANG!
Hi there.
Sorry, but I can't really talk.
Well, I'll let you go.
Are you busy? What are you doing?
I'm at the gym.
Good for you.
I don't know how you do it.
Every time I try to go, I stare
at my stuff for three hours...
Wait.
-I'm putting my earphones in.
-Okay.
-Can you hear me?
-Yeah.
Yeah. I tell myself:
"I'll make coffee.
"Come on, just a little coffee.
" Can you hear me?
Hello?
Yes, can you hear me?
You're on your computer,
watching your hammerhead sharks?
I'm watching music videos.
Julien Dor.
Ah, Julien Dor.
He's so cute with his hair clip.
What song is that?
Uh. "Love You Like a Lake."
Ah, "Love You Like a Lake."
With Pamela Anderson at the end,
she was good though.
I like "Coco Cline."
OK, I'll leave you to it.
I'm ending my session.
I can't do it today.
I need to get home quickly to shower.
Oh really?
There's construction.
They're cutting the water.
You never told me
how it went with your Italian.
Oh. No word back.
It was doomed from the start.
Anyway,
it's really hard to
meet men right now.
For two years, I tried,
the guy seems decent enough
and all that, when you meet him,
he always talks about his wife,
then his kids,
then he asks questions:
"Do you like nature?
"Do you like reading?
"The last book I read was
The Lost Estate, in 9th grade.
And it makes him laugh.
You look at him and you're appalled.
No, I already checked.
What are you saying?
Nothing, I thought I forgot
something at the gym.
Oh, damn.
But I didn't.
Are you on the street?
I'm almost home.
Did I tell you about Ppito?
He's at the vet's.
Last night, he threw up.
I try to catch him, he won't let me,
he hides under the couch,
scratches me.
I get to the vet's,
the cat completely traumatized,
and the girl looks at me and says:
"Listen here, lady..."
I just got home,
I really need to hang up.
Oh, okay. I'll let you go.
Have the guys arrived yet?
Who?
I mean, the guys coming
to cut off the water.
You said they were
cutting off your water.
No, no. It's fine, I have time.
Makeup.
Hi, Barbie.
Yeah.
Forget it.
Have a good day, love.
...this girl
who had very affected diction
and an extremely shrill voice,
or nasal, or one of the two,
or both.
In any case, definitely exasperating.
I'd hear her say: "Oh,
but that's not my nature.
"That's really not my nature."
She was always going on
about her nature.
I didn't know if I even knew
what my nature was.
I panicked.
I thought: "I'm 55,
"and I still don't know my nature."
I don't even know what that means.
She knows.
Do you know my nature?
Yes.
I wasn't expecting
such a clear answer.
So this girl was talking to this guy,
a writer... much older,
and I couldn't tell if he wanted her
in his bed or in his book.
And she said...
she said...
Is this ostrich new?
I probably didn't want to see it.
Very well.
No, but because... ostrich,
burying your head in the sand.
Very well.
But am I okay?
Yes. Yes, I'm fine.
Did you flush properly?
What?
Because it looked like
you were checking
that you had flushed.
No, but it's... Good session.
Wait, what were you saying?
I said:
"It's because she's all alone."
She has me.
I have you. She doesn't.
You're never here
and you live at your dad's.
She has her Jean-Jacques.
Yeah,
the guy she's not sleeping with.
How do you know they're not sleeping
together? How can you tell?
Don't you remember
we used to count the condoms?
The stock never went down.
Maybe he brings his own condoms.
Yeah, but honestly,
who'd want to sleep
with her nowadays.
Honey.
-Mom?
-Oh, well.
What are you doing here?
Hi, Marjolaine.
What are you doing here?
Well... I was passing by.
I mean, I...
I just got here, wanted to sit down.
You're eating McDonald's?
Since when do you eat McDonald's?
It's a one-off, Rose.
You hungry? Want some?
Do you want some?
Are you okay? Won't you tell me
if you're okay?
You okay, honey?
Need some money?
I'm fine.
Where are you going?
You're not going
to that shrink again?
No. No, I stopped. I'm much better.
Yeah?
I'm fine, Rose, really.
My mom and dad started doing yoga,
and it's really helping them.
If you want, I can...
ask them for the number.
No, I'm good. Thanks though.
Your dad and mom, together?
Not everyone's separated
like you, Mom.
Well...
But... I'm not separated, Rose.
From Dad? You totally are.
From Dad, yes. Yes,
from Dad. But I mean,
if I fill out a form,
for example, if I register,
I don't check "separated." Well,
I don't anymore.
What are you talking about?
Census?
Have you been counted recently?
No, but it could happen,
at some point in one's life,
being counted.
I don't know, Mom.
We have a DS, right?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we have DS.
-We have a test, Mom.
-Yes.
Yes, sorry. A test, yes, yes.
Shall we kiss?
Do you know what a test is?
Well yes. Well, a test...
it's an assignment...
an assignment...
a supervised test.
That's good, Mom. That's good.
The rats of the sky.
Yes, the rats of the sky.
I am French, actually.
Me too.
I know you're French.
In fact, you're Katerine Philippe.
Actually, it's the other way around,
it's Philippe Katerine.
Oh yes, the other way around.
And you, you're...
little Bichette Barbie.
What?
What did you say?
Well, the pigeons didn't
leave you a single crumb.
A crumb, a crumb.
Yes, a crumb.
A nice little crumb, one last crumb,
another crumb.
It sounds good, crumb.
Thanks for this little bit.
-Goodbye. See you soon.
-Goodbye.
And thank you.
Sorry, I forgot the sugar.
Don't apologize. Never apologize.
You're the 9th grade intern?
Do you know if Bichette arrived?
Haven't you seen Mrs. Bichette?
Don't you have any sweeteners?
Sorry, excuse me, I forgot.
What did I just say?
You don't apologize, ever.
You say: "Aspartame is bad for
your health." You don't apologize.
Go on, don't be shy,
assert yourself. Go on, say it.
Go ahead.
Aspartame is...
What's Bichette doing? Damn it.
She already canceled yesterday.
Should we start without her?
It's 25 past.
But we already started.
Don't you have
a slogan for a whole wheat cereal
with a hole in the middle?
Go make photocopies, kid.
"A day of sleep...
"A muffled day...
"Inside,
"Day of nothing,
"A dog day
"That we don't take out
"A day we leave panting
"Without giving it water
"Or thirst"
Barberie?
What's a dog day?
What's the connection?
There's no connection, it's a poem.
I can't believe it. Who writes poems?
Well, Barbie Bichette sometimes does.
Not necessarily a good sign,
but it happens.
Not thirsty, nothing.
Not thirsty.
Not thirsty, nothing.
Joachim?
She was here first.
No, it's fine, go ahead.
Well, if it's yours,
it's yours, Barbie.
I'd rather you go first.
Don't argue. Come on.
It's crazy to squeeze in like that.
But I'm not squeezing.
You really don't get it.
What was that about?
Don't you get that if I feel
he's waiting for me to leave,
it makes me uncomfortable.
It's not the same
when I feel my time is limited.
Your time, not at all. He'll wait.
No problem at all.
You still got those bitch cigarettes?
-Can I?
-Yeah.
Didn't you quit?
I started again.
Is that Dad's lighter?
Well, you don't smoke anymore,
so he gave it to me.
You can keep it if you want,
I don't care.
I'm always afraid of losing it,
having it stolen,
it's a poisoned gift.
Is this to make up for something?
No, but... it's fine,
I'm kidding, I forgot.
I swear I forgot.
You look like it, yeah.
You shouldn't have gone
through my texts.
I didn't go through them.
It rang,
Mom handed me your phone
thinking it was mine,
and I read it. Yes, I read it, I...
One line doesn't take long to read.
You wanted me to gouge my eyes out?
For instance, yes.
Look, that's just how Bastien is,
he talks badly about people.
People?
But I'm not just people,
he was talking about me.
If he does that, it's because...
you let him, or even encourage him.
Stop it now.
Why exactly did you come?
Do you ever think in the morning,
"How many fucking showers left
before I die?"
No, but fuck, how many exactly?
Do you think that?
Don't throw your cigarette
in the street.
Here.
You know, I shower at night.
You sure you're okay, Barbs?
No, I never said I was okay.
Ma'am? Ma'am?
She told me to give you this.
Ah. Well yes. No, yes,
if only I could go out like this
all the time,
skillfully draped.
I absolutely must do some sit-ups.
But first... first,
I need to find my
zest for life again.
I just didn't hear you come in.
You scared me.
You could've said something.
I thought you were showering
with someone. I was about to leave.
Showering with someone? No, I wish.
Mom, I don't need to know that.
But I'm telling you I don't do it.
Yeah, well, same thing.
You heard me talking, right?
Because I was... rehearsing a text.
A presentation for the agency,
out loud.
Yeah.
I thought you were working on
a cereal with a hole in the middle.
Yes.
And on an ab belt.
Yeah.
You planning to get dressed?
You speak well, honey.
Yeah, relax,
I just came for toilet paper.
My card's not working,
I can't shop anymore.
Don't panic, only two rolls.
I know your obsession
with stocking up.
Do you need money, honey?
Stop offering us money all the time,
you don't even have any.
Did you see your sister?
Toilet paper obsession.
Yes, I saw her last night at Dad's.
Well yes, at Dad's.
Do you have a yellow vest?
-Yes. You, no?
-Well, no. No.
Thanks.
Keep it...
But... it's...
-is it for the bike or...?
-Wait.
You're all set.
And be careful, Junior.
And you go to college.
Living alone depends on you not...
skipping classes.
Oh, come on.
Thanks for not locking me in.
Make up your mind, Mom.
You always say "lock up behind you".
Well, I've changed.
At night, I shine.
Can I help you?
No thanks, I know my way around.
Is Beatrice here?
Beatrice?
Yes, Beatrice, the creator.
Beatrice, the creator.
Oh, you mean Beatrix.
It's Beatrix, actually.
Yes, Beatrix, the creatrix.
She's in the back.
Should I go get her?
Please.
Oh, hello. How are you?
Since last time?
It was for this necklace,
I think, the Pense.
I'm only wearing it now
because it didn't bring me luck.
I'm sorry.
That one, my 17-year-old daughter
didn't want it.
It was for her birthday.
That one, when I got divorced,
I treated myself.
That one, when I found work.
And today?
And today, it's because
I'm quitting my job.
It's nice wearing them all together.
I want to remember everything
at every moment.
Excuse me, remind me of your name?
Bichette. Two T's,
E. Barberie, first name.
So, a Princess bracelet, yellow gold.
You treated yourself
to this bracelet.
How do you know it's not a gift?
I feel everything.
I'm hypersensitive.
Just look at you,
you treated yourself.
My fianc always tells me:
"You see everything."
I say "fianc"
because we're not married yet.
It would be July 16th.
Then we're going to Sri Lanka
for our honeymoon.
Are there hummingbirds in Sri Lanka?
Yes, probably.
And botanical gardens
as far as the eye can see.
Would you mind pressing the button?
Oh yes, of course.
It's swaying a bit, isn't it?
Must be the meds.
Want me to help with your bags?
That's kind, thanks. I'd like that.
Thank you so much.
You're a lifesaver.
No, I'm not going, I'm not going...
Really, thank you.
No.
Thank you.
I went down
and carried all her bags
to the bottom of her building.
Who does that?
You do.
I meant her, making me do that.
Let's talk about you instead.
You're annoying me.
Oh really?
No, but now even more.
Inside, I'm boiling.
You can't see it, but I'm boiling.
Your "hmm," "yes," "very good."
Very good what?
Walking out, I think:
"What's so great about it?"
What's so great, really.
It's all just an act.
You're playing the shrink,
I'm playing the patient.
Two monkeys sitting face to face.
What's that monkey?
There, on the shelf?
That's impossible,
did you put it there?
It wasn't there last time?
Why do you have all this stuff
anyway?
Oh right, for the children.
You sometimes see children, right?
Do you see children, yes or no?
What's stopping you from answering
this simple question?
One moment, please.
Yes?
Absolutely.
And elderly people?
Do you see elderly people?
Come Thursday, 4 PM.
Will you see me when I'm old?
I'll arrive with my cane,
I'll have that disease
that makes old people hunch over,
and then...
I'll pull out my money
with shaky hands.
And you'll take it,
shaking even more.
I'll have a handkerchief
in my sleeve.
Oh, I already have one.
Magic tricks.
Magic tricks.
How is your father, by the way?
He hasn't done tricks in a long time.
He has arthritis, so his dexterity...
And he's bedridden now.
But sometimes he still
gets out a deck of cards,
but does nothing.
He taps it and puts it away.
I know you can hear me perfectly.
I'm not signing this bogus paper.
Listen, I'll give you two euros
if you want. Here.
I'm telling you I'll give you
two euros, stop with that paper.
Go to the garden,
there are plenty of tourists there.
Get out of here now. Come on,
scram, that's enough.
Don't talk to them like that,
it's not right.
They're just kids.
Come on, let's go.
Don't touch them!
They're with me. There.
Three grenadines.
There you go.
Here.
No, I have my pen.
"And have I fallen so low
"That I write this, I write that?
"Did I order a fried egg
"Or decide to leave it at that?"
It's a poem.
Well, you can read.
Because I'm a poet.
Poet.
I've been published before.
Poet. Poet.
Poet.
Old bitch.
Can I pay, please?
The gentleman already paid.
We can dream.
You forgot your cup.
Nobody's perfect.
Do you know who I am?
Do you remember me or...?
You really don't see?
Oh, but that's... that's shoe polish.
I'm an actor,
just came from rehearsal.
Is there much left?
Come on, make an effort.
Think childhood.
No.
Please.
Barberie.
I hope you're not Arthur,
who used to stick
chestnut leaf stems up my ass
making me think
they were suppositories?
Excuse me?
I won't repeat it,
you heard me perfectly.
Oh no, I'm not Arthur.
Oh, too bad.
Too bad,
because I could have taken the chance
to punch you in the face.
Sorry,
I'm violent, but it's because I'm...
I'm tired.
No, but I like your violence.
I don't like that
you like my violence.
That doesn't sound good to me.
Philippe Atlan?
The white leather clogs?
Krescant, in Finistre?
The quicksand?
No, it can't be you. You died at 22.
Your tent caught fire in Saint-Vran.
Yes?
You're him? And you're dead?
That's right, yes, a ghost.
Don't come near me.
That's enough now,
you're making me say
things that rhyme.
Calm down. I'll go with you.
Go with me where?
I don't want to die.
No, I don't want to go. Stay back.
I'm just Bertrand, little Bertrand.
Your little neighbor from Mussidan.
Bertrand from Mussidan.
Bertrand?
So you go by Bertrand?
That's not stupid.
It's actually quite clever.
Come closer.
Come closer now, Bertrand.
So, if you are death
and they call you Bertrand,
know that I won't come, Bertrand.
No, I won't come.
I'm not ready, Bertrand. No.
No. And I'd add...
It'll be okay. It'll be okay.
I'd add that...
I don't have time to die, Bertrand.
I don't feel very well.
Well, yes.
You can call my children.
BANG...
Excuse me, do you have a stirrer?
Yes.
Thank you very much.
What?
Nothing, nothing.
You've got a stirrer on you,
what can I do about it?
We do as the receptionist said,
leave the suitcase here and go.
No, I want to wait for the doctor.
Tonight Boulin's on duty,
he's pretty cool.
Except he wears bow ties.
-OK.
-OK.
No, thanks.
Good evening.
Rose?
Rose?
Come here.
Come see.
It looks like her, right? Mom?
No.
Sorry, but it does.
That's not her.
I swear it's her.
You never see her, you don't know.
-Yes?
-Hello. Tea or coffee?
Both, please, Fanfan.
Yes, that's right, both.
My name is Aya, not Fanfan.
Yes, but to me, you're also Fanfan.
OK.
Do you know when
I can see my children?
No, I'm sorry.
-I'll make my bed, Fanfan.
-Yes, alright, Fanfan.
Hi, Barbie.
You can ask for hot water.
Did you know?
Come in.
So, how are you today, Barbie?
So, how are you today?
I hear you don't like
being called Barbie.
I can understand that.
Who told you that?
What do you mean, you can understand?
It's hard to bear,
that's all I meant.
Generally, for a woman.
For any woman.
I wasn't implying anything...
specific about you.
To you personally, I mean.
Or your appearance, of course.
My appearance?
What's wrong with my appearance?
Well, clearly,
we're getting off
on the wrong foot today.
So, tell me, how are you feeling?
Ugly.
But I mean, how do you feel...
how's your mood?
I took apart my lamp.
Mm-hmm. I see, yes.
Why?
I was hoping there'd be a camera,
a little camera.
A tiny camera.
You were hoping?
Yes, or at least a microphone.
But there's nothing at all.
You would've wanted a camera?
Yes. Yes.
Something rather
than nothing, always.
And it reassures me to be watched.
Do you have reasons to think
you should be watched?
Didn't the other one
tell you anything?
That I was afraid of...
That you were afraid of...
that you were afraid of death, yes.
So you remember?
The so-called Bertrand?
Who supposedly brought me here?
To this so-called clinic?
No, it's fine, it's fine,
I know it's really a clinic.
It really happened like that,
you know.
You even listed him
as emergency contact.
I'm removing him.
No, put me as emergency contact.
Oh, no.
That's not possible.
No, that's not possible, no.
What if I promise there won't be
any emergencies, Dr. Fanfan?
I'm Boulin, Dr. Boulin.
OK.
Dr. Boulin Fanfan.
Who's Fanfan?
I was told you call out for Fanfan...
Fanfan is...
it's Fanfan.
Fanfan is you, it's her...
it's me.
Fanfan, that's who we are.
I understand myself.
This feeling you have
of understanding yourself,
do you have other examples?
When there's a hole,
I think of a rat.
And when there's a rat,
I think of a hole.
And it's the same for everything,
Dr. Fanfan.
That said, I can understand the rat.
We're going to help you here, okay?
Are you tolerating
your treatment well?
Yes.
Were you taking it regularly?
Your children couldn't answer that.
My children? But... did they come?
Rose too?
Yes, to bring your things.
They hoped to see you,
but I think it's too early.
Were you taking your medication?
Sometimes I forgot, but not often.
Are those chocolates?
Yes. They're for another room. Sorry.
No, I thought my kids might...
but no.
Right.
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
What do they give you
for a full bottle?
Nothing.
Good, nothing.
-Slim pickings.
-Yeah. Small beer.
Oh yes, a small beer.
Me too, a nice cold beer.
Oh, careful, it's freezing.
It's open. Shall we go?
You know one of them smokes
in his room, Fanfan?
Yes, I know. Thanks, Fanfan.
Sometimes I turn a blind eye.
Well, nose.
Good evening.
Evening, Mrs. Bichette.
Can I have my little something?
Thank you.
Not feeling well tonight?
Can I stay with you a bit?
No, that's not possible,
it's reserved for medical staff.
Would you like us to
call the doctor on duty?
Which one?
It's Dr. Radjabov.
The Azerbaijani chess player?
He's a doctor here?
No, no. Well, I don't think so.
You've seen him before.
He's not very tall,
kind, with a mustache.
I was hoping for Fanfan.
But Mrs. Bichette,
you need to stop saying Fanfan
all the time.
You know,
as long as you call everyone that...
Yes, I know.
Can I have my second
little something?
No, it's too early. We'll see
at midnight, if you're not sleeping.
So you play chess then?
No, that's my son.
He went through a phase.
How old is your son?
He's 22, he's grown up.
What's your eldest son's name?
He's not called Fanfan, is he?
You know what he's called,
it must be in my file,
surely...
Do you play chess?
No.
Me neither.
The champion is my cousin, Teimour.
My son plays.
Junior. His name is Junior.
That's good.
The nurses think you have a mustache.
A mustache? Why do they think that?
I don't know.
Can you leave it on, please?
I'm not even getting burnt.
I'm numb.
Or insulated. Yes,
that's it, insulated.
Maybe it's the meds.
I'm not shaking.
No, because some people
shake from meds.
No, no, I'm not shaking.
I talk to myself, that...
Yes, I have to face it,
I talk to myself.
But it reassures me.
Before, when it slipped away,
it worried me,
but now, it reassures me.
126 beats per minute,
that's perfect for you.
Focus on the landscape.
Look how beautiful it is.
I don't like it.
I know this machine.
How do we change it?
It's Buckskin Gulch,
Vermilion Park, in Utah.
But I don't like landscapes.
Especially this one.
Yet it's magnificent.
Incredible, even.
"Wakatipu"? OK. Wakatipu.
What's next?
"Lake shaped like an inverted N
or a dog's paw."
The lake is shaped
like an inverted N?
Or a dog's paw?
An upside-down N is still an N.
Why don't they just say...
that it looks like an N?
No, they say upside-down N
or dog's paw.
How does a dog's paw look like an N?
-Upside-down or not.
-I don't know.
"Takakkaw.
"Takakkaw is a Cree word
meaning magnificent."
A Cree word?
Takakkaw.
It's a small N, a lowercase N.
The dog's paw is shaped
like a lowercase N.
-You see?
-Oh, yes.
You have one hour.
I trust you to return it.
Thank you.
Aren't you happy to have it?
Yes, yes. Thank you. Adle, right?
That's right.
You okay, Mrs. Bichette?
What's wrong?
I don't know. It's hard to say.
I think I'd like to go home, but...
I'm not even sure.
If I'm not sure of that,
what can I be sure of? Nothing?
Do you know this game?
I have to guess what character I am.
Yes, I know it.
Oh, good.
See, we think of you.
Yeah, not my kids, not a trace.
Your kids knew
you weren't allowed your phone.
I'll let you answer in peace.
Could you bring me some toilet paper?
I'll have some brought to you.
Thanks.
Oh, I...
Yeah, Barbie, it's us. Well, it's me.
But it's all of us. We're
thinking of you, we miss you here.
We were wondering if
you might want to...
Well, reconsider.
Take some time for yourself,
write your... your stuff,
your own stuff.
Get better and come back.
I can't keep second-guessing myself.
No, thanks.
Thanks for letting me come.
No, I should thank you.
Without you,
I could've ended up anywhere.
Still nothing?
Still nothing? I don't get it.
Nothing? You don't see?
No. Really, I'm... I'm sorry.
You came to Mussidan every holiday.
Mussidan, near Bergerac?
Yes, I know where Mussidan is,
my grandparents had a house there.
No, I... I went everywhere.
And you, I swear, no.
Wasn't it just a big lie?
A lie?
Yes, well, a lie.
To... Well, to approach me?
No, definitely not.
What do you mean, "definitely not"?
No. Well, yes.
I might have wanted to,
but not now.
How would I know all that?
I don't know, maybe...
you knew me, but I didn't know you.
No, it must be someone else.
And it's probably someone
other than you.
It was us, and it's still us,
here, now.
You had an English pen pal
who came every summer.
You loved The White Stone.
The White Stone?
A serial. We called them serials.
You wanted to become
that thin blonde girl
who always had a white pebble
in her hand.
Yes, that's right.
And I...
I'd stay awake to get dark circles,
I wanted people to say:
"Her eyes are eating up her face."
or "She's got matchstick legs."
Matchstick what?
To my canary, the bird.
It means skinny legs, very skinny.
Like a canary's little feet.
Like her, the little one
with her white pebble in hand,
all skin and bones
with her scrawny arms
and her sleeveless white dress.
But...
what do you want exactly, Bertrand?
Did you get a good look at me?
I'm not the woman I...
wasn't even back then.
It's far too long ago.
And...
I'm sorry, but...
I'm not interested, Bertrand.
You're not my type at all.
What is your type?
More like Cary Grant, you know.
Yeah, less...
less Bertrand Blanc de Mussidan.
But I don't scare you anymore?
No, that's something at least,
you don't scare me anymore.
No, I don't know,
do like me, move forward.
You have to move forward.
Do you really feel like
you're moving forward?
Absolutely.
BARBERIE BICHETTE
TO YOUNG SOULS
Look, she wrote stuff in her book.
So what?
Put it back, she's coming.
She didn't have any paper,
that's all.
Well, she can ask for some.
Maybe they don't have any.
Is there no paper here?
Stop, that's enough.
It's good she wrote.
We shouldn't have surprised her.
What's she doing?
"Strange compact ladies
"Near the emergency exits
"Sitting there, loveless
"Lower their eyes tactfully
"They feel a certain age
"And the rain and all is mist
"The bus makes its way
"Do they just want to go home?"
It's beautiful.
Well, I think so.
But the bus?
What bus? There's no bus here.
Well, the bus in her head.
She's imagining.
She only wrote one sentence.
"I beg your pardon?
Heathen of this world?"
Come see.
I'm hopeful anyway,
I think it should be fine.
It's funny, I'm scared.
She'll be so happy to see you.
You think?
-She'll be happy to see you too.
-Yeah.
Mom.
Mom.
Where are you?
It'll be okay.
You know it'll be okay.
Your kind will come for you.
I can't take you with me,
you'd be unhappy.
I'm not the girl who talks to birds,
this is an exception.
Why did you sit there, Mom?
What are these tables?
It looks like nothing.
I don't like it at all.
We don't know if it's a bar area,
if we're allowed here.
Come on, let's go inside
and find Junior.
It's nice here.
I just wanted coffee.
I like this in-between space.
I just don't like
these high chairs, I...
I feel... on display.
Perched up here...
On a display?
Mom, you okay?
Mom?
Oh, Mom?
You're somewhere else.
What?
You're somewhere else. Are you?
Yes.
Mom, are you sure you're okay?
Why are you looking at me like that?
What's this for?
It's for your return,
since you're leaving me
to go it alone anyway.
Alone, right now?
I don't know, Mom.
I don't know if it's safe.
Junior won't agree.
I'll... leave my suitcase,
tell him I'm going to the bathroom,
he won't suspect anything.
Then you can explain.
What do I tell her?
What, Mom?
You're leaving on your own,
without luggage?
And we're staying here,
you don't want to take us
because you need to be alone?
Don't you think you're
alone enough already?
Sorry.
I don't feel alone at all.
And I'll be back.
What's with all the emotion?
Here.
I'll be back.
What's she doing? Where's she
going? It's starting soon.
She can go pee, right?
I can't believe she's leaving us?
She has our passports too.
I know.
Well, she's grown up.
She's really grown up.
Can you see her?
Yeah. No, can't see anything.
-She needs to see us.
-Yeah?
She'll be happy.
There, like that, a heart.
-Does that work?
-Yeah.
Mom!
Hey, I can see you.
I can see you.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Do you need help?
Are you lost?
I'm looking for the north exit.
The north exit.
Are you sure?
Yes, north.
You look like a scout.
An adult scout.
And I am.
And you look like a movie star
from the 50s.
A 1950s melodrama?
Yes.
But I'm not.
Alas.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm very OK.
Good.
You're right here,
and you want to go down there,
round there and come out here.
So I do this, then that.
So, this way?
No, no, you want to go that way.
Yeah?
-Thank you.
-No problem.
Goodbye.
Yes, love?
Do you still make your scones,
Pumpkin?
Barberie? What, is that you?
What are you doing here?
You know you're saving me.
Got a smoke? I lost mine.
No, I wasn't far,
and... well, I felt like...
but I wasn't sure
I'd still find you here.
You recognized me right away.
I didn't think you would.
Nobody calls me Pumpkin.
Nobody calls me Pumpkin anymore.
You speak French very
well, no, no, no.
While me, English...
Do you still like eating raw dough?
Yes, I do, Maddie.
No thanks.
You think all English people
make scones?
No, it's for mince pies, Barberie,
it's for mince pies.
My boyfriend's coming for lunch.
Do you have kids?
A boy, yes, Maddox.
He doesn't live with me anymore.
I have two, Junior and Rose.
We were supposed to take the trip
together, the English coast,
all three of us, a week, and then...
And then they bailed on you
last minute, obviously.
No, it's me.
-I needed to...
-To see me.
To give a sign.
Maybe.
Yes.
It passes, right.
Our old cigarettes.
Old. Old cigarettes.
Old like us.
A cigarette from...
43 years ago.
I'll change the lighter,
this is ridiculous.
I kept it in memory of my parents.
Are they dead?
Yes. Both of them. What about you?
My mother, yes. My father's very ill.
They separated the last summer
I came to see you here.
I didn't write to you right away,
then I waited too long,
and it was too important
or not enough.
You know, I wasn't mad at you.
You preferred
your little Bertrand anyway.
And I had my Alex Stewbaker.
Bertrand?
What Bertrand?
Well, Bertrand.
Maddie, which Bertrand?
You know, your little frenchy,
your little froggie from Prigord,
at your grandmother's.
No, you're wrong.
I'm sure you're wrong.
You just don't remember.
Funny, I ran into him by chance.
So it was him?
Well, anyway.
Are you okay, Barberie?
-Want to have lunch with us?
-No, I have to go.
I'm going to the station.
You're leaving already?
Still scared of flying?
Yeah, I'm still scared.
I took the ferry across.
But... now I'm going up, higher.
Where to?
To Glenuaig.
To Glenuaig.
What's in Glenuaig?
There's nothing.
It's very remote, very wild.
Nobody goes.
There's this.
"Save the land
"to become a lord or lady
of Glenuaig."
Does that really exist?
Yes, it exists.
Are you a magician?
Are you a magician?
-A magician?
-Yes.
I do the trick well.
Can you show me?
Sure.
Let's take four ordinary cards.
Two red kings.
We do a wee spin.
Magic rub.
And you come up with two black kings.
But...
with a quick flick,
they turn into four aces.
My father is a magician.
That's good.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, love.
Thank you.
Watch out, it's muddy.
Thank you.
I don't care.
Welcome to Glenuaig.
Reception is this way.
So you do understand English?
It's the same word...
Perfect. Follow me.
-Can I?
-Yes, please.
Shall we go, Lady Bichette?
Here.
-So it is my place?
-Yes, it's here.
This is your place.
Your one square yard.
Takakkaw!
Takakkaw is a... Cree word.
Never mind,
it just means it's beautiful.
I have two children. Do you have any?
Same, two.
-Can I camp here?
-No, no tents allowed.
But even...
under the stars?
The good star?
The good star?
I don't understand.
So you're all set?
Yes. Thank you, madame.
I like my place.
Stop the music!
Stop! Stop the music!
Silence!
Silence!
Silence!
No, really?
Oh, it's...
That's impossible.
Isn't that Mr. Seguin's little goat
I see there?
Huh?
No, but...
the one who fought to the end.
Exactly, Mr. Katerine.
Except... I made it
through the night, damn it.
I damn well beat the wolf.
I totally triumphed.
And what's your name?
What? Lady Bichette?
Yes. Lady Bichette.
With that,
we'll definitely find a song.
A song.
With everything.
Lady Bichette
Braved the storm
Lady Bichette
Lady Bichette
MY LIFE MY FACE
A FILM BY SOPHIE FILLIRES
Laura Haydon