Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines (1965) Movie Script

Ever since man started to
think, he's wanted to fly.
But flying was strictly for the birds...
and continued to be so
for thousands of years.
Man, eternally optimistic,
kept trying.
Encouraged by his many successes,
man kept trying.
Through his genius
and his inventiveness,
he managed to get
his machines off the ground,
and sometimes
he brought them down again.
Bravo! Bravo!
All over the world, early pioneers
were making flying history.
And in Italy,
Count Emilio Ponticelli...
made what many people claimed
was the first long-distance flight.
There was no doubt about it,
by 1910, flying had become the rage.
Man had conquered the air,
and people everywhere
were all agog about...
those magnificent men
in their flying machines.
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
They go up tiddly up up
They go down tiddly um down
They enchant all the ladies
and steal all the scenes
With their up tiddly up up
And their
down tiddly um down
Up, down
Flying around
Looping the loop
and defying the ground
They're all
frightfully keen
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
They can fly upside down
with their feet in the air
They don't think of danger
They really don't care
Newton would think
he had made a mistake
To see those young men
and the chances they take
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
They go up tiddly up up
They go down tiddly um down
They enchant all the ladies
and steal all the scenes
With their
up tiddly up up
And their
down tiddly um down
Up, down, flying around
Looping the loop
and defying the ground
They're all
frightfully keen
Those magnificent men
In their flying machines
Hello, Richard!
Oh, Richard! Oh, Richard,
please take me up.
Oh, no, not today.
No, it's much too windy.
Come on.
We'll swing her round.
And anyway, strictly speaking,
I'm still on duty. Lift!
It isn't too windy
for you to fly.
Come on.
Give a hand.
Oh, Richard,
look at that bird.
It can go wherever it likes,
whenever it likes.
- You're so lucky.
- Yes, I know.
Oh, I'd like to soar through the
air and look down on the world.
Right, let her down.
I think I'd make
a very nice bird.
Yes, I daresay.
Thank you, Carter.
Richard, isn't the rigging
a bit tight?
It seems to be
stretching the fabric.
You're getting rather good
at noticing things.
Well, I should jolly well hope so.
Thank you, Carter.
After all the work I've done
on this contraption.
Uh, Patricia,
did you get a chance to talk
to your father about my idea?
Yes, he's very interested, but
you'll still have to talk to him.
Oh, well, I can do that,
all right.
Tell him it will increase the
circulation of his newspaper.
Wave the flag. You know,
Britannia rules the sea,
but she doesn't rule the sky,
and all that sort of thing.
Yes, I know
exactly what to say.
Good. Then, when he's agreed
to your idea,
you're to ask him
if you can take me flying.
Hmm. Yes, I might.
This afternoon?
- All right.
- Oh!
Patricia, not now.
I'm in uniform.
Oh, Richard,
don't be so silly.
Follow me in your motorcar.
I'll try not to go too fast.
- What's the trouble?
- Oh, nothing.
- Father doesn't know about this.
- Oh.
Won't be a minute.
- Well?
- Very nice.
You look just like a girl.
Thank you.
You know, one of these days, your
father's going to find you out.
Mmm, I know.
Exciting, isn't it?
The trouble with aviation today
is that too many good ideas.. .
are being dissipated
in too many aeroplanes.
If we could bring together all these
different types from all over the world,
then everyone could learn
from each other.
From all over the world?
If possible, Lord Rawnsley. The French
and the Americans are well ahead of us.
- I never knew that.
- Well, it's our own fault.
Believe it or not, no Englishman
flew until three years ago.
Britannia may rule
the waves, sir,
but she doesn't rule the
skies, not yet anyway.
Have some more Madeira.
Oh, you haven't finished.
Damn it.
We should rule the sky.
I can see you're going to be
a real enthusiast, sir.
Anytime you should
care to come up-
No, thank you, Mays.
I may be an old fogy,
but I think that if the Lord
had intended me to fly,
he would have
given me... wings.
You travel by train, Father,
but you haven't any wheels.
Do you really mean no Englishman
flew until three years ago?
That's right, sir.
Come and see me again
in a few days.
Meanwhile, I'll discuss your idea
with my circulation people.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Uh, by the by, sir,
there's one other thing.
I wonder if I might take
Patricia up this afternoon.
Up? Where?
Oh, into the sky,
Father, flying.
Certainly not! I absolutely
forbid you to go up,
and I absolutely
forbid you...
to take my daughter flying,
today or any other day.
- Is that understood?
- Yes, sir.
Absolutely, sir.
Thank you, sir.
"I absolutely forbid you to take my
daughter flying, today or any day.
- Patricia, darling-
- Is that absolutely understood?"
"Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely,
sir." Three bags full, sir!
It's not my fault. Now, Patricia,
you can't blame your father...
for thinking that flying
is dangerous. It is.
But when he gets enthusiastic about
the idea, he'll change his mind.
Now, you'll see.
Oh, Patricia.
No, Richard.
You're in uniform.
If you won't take me flying,
I shall find someone who will.
Oh, all right.
I suppose you wouldn't like
to go have lunch at Windsor.
You could drive
the car if you like.
- Me?
- Yes.
Oh! Come on.
Well, that's my idea,
Not a festival but something which
will fire the imagination of the world,
which will bring together all the
different types of flying machines...
and, at the same time, increase
the circulation of my newspaper.
An air race, gentlemen,
initiated, sponsored
and rewarded by the Daily Post.
An air race which will show that
Britannia not only rules the waves...
but intends, in future,
to rule the skies.
An air race between the two most
important capitals of the world-
London and Paris.
But that means flying
across the English Channel.
Well, of course it does.
That's the whole idea, Gascoyne.
Well, the French fellow
did it last year.
I presume some progress
has been made since then.
- Of course there has, sir.
- Very well.
I shall leave the details
to be worked out by my staff.. .
and you gentlemen
of the Royal Aero Club.
You, Gascoyne,
will be my liaison officer,
an aeronautical correspondent.
I shall expect you to go
aloft as often as possible.
Yes, sir. Um, may one ask
what the prize will be, sir?
Most generous, sir.
That should attract fliers
from all over the world.
That's the idea.
I shall expect the prize
to be won by an Englishman.
"Great London-Paris air race.
"Daily Post offers 10,000 prize.
Competitors will actually fly across
English Channel." That's not bad, eh?
Could you add, um, "Foreign
newspapers, please copy"?
That's already done there
at the bottom of the page.
- Here are some more invitations.
- Good.
You know, between these
invitations and the newspapers,
we should reach every
flying man in the world.
Emilio Ponticelli-
Pierre Dubois
- Dieppe, France. France. Right.
Mademoiselle, s'il vous plat.
Monsieur Dubois!
Monsieur Dubois!
Monsieur Dubois!
Monsieur Dubois!
- Mon Dieu!
- Dear me.
Il est mort!
Oh, am I dead,
or am I dreaming?
Ah, merveilleuse.
You are so charming.
- What's your name?
- Brigitte.
Oh, formidable.
Monsieur, perhaps it is important.
It's from England.
Nom de chien!
250,000 francs?
- You?
- We must get down the machine.
- Yeah, What, me?
- Yes, you. Quick!
Read it, please.
"His Imperial Majesty
the Kaiser commands.. .
"that a German officer wins
the- the London-Paris air race.
You will make
arrangements accordingly."
- Rumpelstrosse.
- Herr Colonel?
Order another flying machine.
Jawohl, Herr Colonel,
another flying machine.
But there's no one else
who can fly.
It cannot be difficult,
otherwise Winkler
couldn't have done it.
- Not that he was any good at it.
- Of course, Herr Colonel.
- So, Rumpelstrosse.
- Herr Colonel?
You will fly the new machine.
Jawohl, Herr Colonel.
But how will I learn to fly?
Same way as we learn everything
else in the German army-
from the book of instructions.
Come on!
I don't mind your being interested
in the ladies. That's natural.
But it ain't natural to stand up and
wave to 'em when you fly past them.
I lost my head, George.
Yeah. You lost most
of my investment too.
I told you I could fix it.
Maybe we better just
call it a day, Orvil.
Go back to work
like ordinary people.
George, you just don't
have the flying bug.
You don't fly, so you don't
know what it's like up there.
It ain't the going up
that discourages me.
It's the different ways you
keep finding of coming down.
Boy, when you're up there, you get
a sense of freedom and power that-
well, that you just don't
get from anything else.
No, sirree. I'm never
gonna give up flying.
Hey, Orvil,
look at this.
"London to Paris air race.
First prize- $50,000."
- Whoo-ee!
- "For further details, turn to page six."
Somewhere out there
is page six.
Where is the great Ponticelli?
Ah! There he is!
There he is over there.
Emilio, have you heard the news?
Emilio, now you
give up flying, huh?
I promise, cara.
No more flying.
Finito Ohh!
Emilio, are you all right?
Every bone in my body is broken.
Emilio, have you seen this?
- Sophia?
- Eh?
I shall enter.
I shall win...
for Italia.
- But you promised.
- Is postponed.
Come, we go and
make-a the plans.
I'll buy the best-a flying
machine in the world.
Like-a Caesar,
we go to England!
Bella, Bambini, andiamo!
Bravo! Emilio! Emilio! Italia!
Just imagine, do you know we've
had 83 entries?
Forty from the continent alone.
Ha! Interest in the race
is worldwide.
I really think it's one of
the best ideas I ever had.
Your go, Patricia.
Another entry,
from Phoenix-
- Arizona, milord.
- Arizona.
Well, for someone to come all that way,
must be either very rich or very confident.
Well, as he's American,
he's probably both.
I say, there you are!
You didn't invite that
bounder Sir Percy, did you?
No, of course not. Then, what
the devil's he doing here?
I don't know.
- Hello, Miss Rawnsley.
- Hello.
Rawnsley, Mays. Just popped
in for an entrance form.. .
for that little junket
of yours to Gay Paree.
If you are referring to
an official entry form.. .
for my London to Paris air race,
my office will send you one.
Well, considering the fact that I'm
one of England's foremost aeroplanists,
it's rather jolly inefficient
of them not to send me one before.
I say, excuse me, if you'll
hold your mallet like this,
you'll play
that shot much better.
I shall hold my mallet
as I've always held my mallet.
In that case,
you'll miss the shot.
What did I tell you?
Missed the shot.
Well, I expect we'll be seeing
you again soon, Sir Percy.
- Mm-hmm. - Glad you're
going to join the race.
I'm not only going to join it,
dear boy. I'm going to win it.
Do you really think you
have a chance, Sir Percy?
Miss Rawnsley,
I never leave
anything to chance.
Hang on to the tail.
I'm revving up. Hang on.
Hey, Orvil,
look at that.
Wow! So this is
Brookley, huh?
- That's what you gotta beat.
- Yeah.
- Whoo-ee!
- Oh!
Hey, you take over.
I'll be right back.
- You all right?
- Yes, of course.
Oh, dear.
Thank you. No, no, the
other way. This way.
- No, it's the other way.
- Ohh!
- Oh, look what you've done.
- What I've done?
Oh! Haven't you ever
seen legs before?
Well, sure I have,
lots of times,
particularly when you take
girls flying as often as I do,
you get to see
lots of legs.
And bloomers too.
Oh, but none of them
as pretty as yours.
If that's supposed to be a
compliment, I'm not flattered.
Did you say you
took girls flying?
Well, sure I do, all
the time, only back home.
I'm strictly here to race.
- Oh, you're one of the Americans.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, well, that
explains everything.
- My bicycle, please.
- Oh, sure.
Say, uh, do you
work around here?
No. Why?
Well, I thought that,
Well, I'd like
to see more of you.
You could have
worded that better.
I'm afraid
it's impossible.
I'm not being stuffy, but
we haven't been introduced.
Well, do we have to be?
But of course. English girls
don't care to be picked up.
So, until we are
properly introduced,
Ah, there
you are, Mays.
- Oh, hello, sir.
- I'm glad you're in. I want to have a word with you.
Oh, certainly, sir.
Inside or out?
Well, I expect you know what
I want to talk to you about.
Oh, yes, sir,
the race, of course.
No, no, not the race-
She's getting rather keen on you.
Well, are you intending
to propose to her?
Well, with
your permission, sir.
My dear fellow, you can
take that for granted.
Your father was
at school with me.
There's just one snag, sir.
It's finding the time for
married life. What do you mean?
Well, I'm soldiering all day, and
I'm rather busy in the evenings too.
Monday I dine in.
Tuesday's card night at White's.
Wednesday I play snook
with the adjutant.
Thursday, uh, well, we
like to end up at Romano's.
Uh, that only
leaves Friday.
Yes, but what
about the weekends?
Well, that's flying, sir.
It's the only time I've got.
But I could give up
my card night if you like, sir.
Oh, I don't think that's necessary.
We don't want to spoil the girl.
You do love her,
don't you?
- Oh, I do, sir, very much.
- I thought you did.
Well, glad to have had this little
talk. Nice to know you're serious.
So few young people
are these days.
Good-bye, sir.
Well, over there
are the hangars.
When you get delivery of your plane,
you will put it in the one nearest us.
First-a class for a first-a
class plane. Wait till you see it.
Oh, my darling,
it's-a wonderful.
I'm going to be
very happy here.
And I'm very happy
for you too.
What is all that water?
Actually, it's the sewage
farm. What is sewage?
Actually, it's rather nasty,
really. Drains and all that.
Jolly useful. Most of the pilots
crash over there sometimes-
- Crash?
- They don't consider themselves aeroplaners until they have.
- Oh, oh.
- Well, now, uh,
you'll want to know
all about the practice times.
You are scheduled
for 7:30 in the morning.. .
and 4:00 in the afternoon.
Ah, first-a class. You'll
be following the French.
I no follow any Frenchman. Italy
come-a first or no come at all.
We go! Finito. Andiam' a casa. Andiamo.
Sir! Sir!
I say, sir! Sir!
Sir, if you feel so strongly about
it, sir, you can go before the French.
I can?
- First-a class.
- Okay, steady on.
Sophia, we go
before the French.
- Who is this?
- It's Lord Rawnsley.
Ah. This is
the English milord.
Good morning, milord!
Good heavens. He's
brought his entire family.
Who is he?
Emilio Ponticelli.
Richard says he's not
only a great pilot,
he's one of
the richest chaps in Italy.
Never stops buying
flying machines.
A great enthusiast for everything.
- Morning, milord.
- Morning, sir!
Righto, lads.
Heave-ho, onto the field.
Oh, wonderful!
Every time I see you,
my heart sings.
Brigitte, no. Ingrid.
I am Swedish.
- Swedish?
- Ja.
- But didn't I see you in Normandy?
- It's possible.
Come. Come
and teach me to fly.
Look, Father! He's teaching her to fly!
How ridiculous. Anyone
can see that young woman.. .
isn't in the least
mechanically minded.
- Good heavens, what's that?
- Does 35 miles an hour!
Wingspan of 30 feet!
Now, when you get up
to about 40 flaps a minute,
use the top power
and you're away!
You are sure it will fly?
Of course it'll fly! What do you
think it's gonna do, lay an egg?
This has the power of an eagle,
the- the grace of a swan.
- And it's a bargain for 350 guineas.
- Emilio!
Don't-a worry. It's-a
going to be first-a class!
Put it on for me,
No, I don't want that.
Is guaranteed.
Emilio, put it on
for me, please!
Ah, Sophia.
All right!
Take it away!
Up! Up! Up!
Up! Up!
Oh, God.
Oh, well, we all make mistakes.
Easy with her.
- Watch the tail skid, Charlie.
- Right.
Morning, sir.
Morning, madam.
Morning, Sir Percy.
I hope your hands are clean.
Come on, Courtney!
- Switch is off, sir?
- Switch is off, Courtney.
- Switch is on, sir?
- Switch is on, Courtney.
Contact, sir?
Contact, Courtney.
Come on, Courtney,
you lazy loafer!
Hang on! I haven't
revved up yet! Useless lot!
You! Yes, you!
Go and stand over there!
Give my chaps a hand,
will you?
He's not supposed
to carry passengers.
Ooh, heck.
Stand by, lads!
It's Sir Percy!
Make for the sewage farm!
Uhh! Oh!
Buzz off!
What the hell
are you doing?
Whoo, that's my toe! Get
your backside out of my face!
What the hell are you
doing down there?
I can't land the plane!
Back to the sewage farm!
- He's gonna crash!
- Yeah.
You bounder! Look what
you've done to my aeroplane!
I'll kill you!
- Come on, Courtney! Get on!
- Ooh!
Achtung! Halt!
Is this where the
Yankee fellow hangs out?
Yes, governor,
this is the place.
Are you quite certain
he's smaller than me?
- Oh, yes, governor.
- Right.
Stay there.
Hey, you there,
Yankee chap.
Oh, howdy.
- Did you want me?
- I certainly do.
You caused me to crash
my flying machine.
I therefore intend giving you
a jolly good thrashing.
- Ready?
- Ready.
I suppose you think that's funny.
- Well, pardon me.
- Eh?
You might wanna thrash
someone else with this.
Got a cold, governor?
You're late.
Ooh, Richard. Ooh, you
taste of castor oil.
Did you fix
the extra petrol tank?
And changed the oil.
Did need changing.
You were quite right.
Of course.
I'm always right.
And now you're going to help me
grease the undercarriage.
- Whoops!
- Now, come on.
Right. You begin
greasing here.
On the axle?
Mmm, it could do with it.
Say, you've really got yourself
something here, don't you?
- Anything I can do for you?
- Well, I was, uh-
I was hoping that you might let
me borrow a monkey wrench from you.
Monkey wrench?
Oh. Well, I can let you have an
adjustable spanner if that's what you mean.
Well, I guess that's what
they call it in England.
- You're Orvil Newton, aren't you?
- That's right.
- I'm Richard Mays.
- Howdy-do.
I'll get it for you.
Oh. May I present
Miss Patricia Rawnsley?
Well, howdy-do.
Now, wouldn't you say this
constitutes a formal introduction?
Well, y-yes,
I suppose so.
Do you have to do that
every time we meet?
Oh, please.
Well, I-
Go on.
Hurry up!
Thank you!
Your monkey wrench,
Mr. Newton.
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'll bring it back just as
soon as I'm through with it.
Where'd you meet
that fellow?
Oh, I-
I met him here.
Oh. Good-looking chap,
isn't he?
Is he?
Oh, I-I didn't notice.
Come on, Richard.
On with the greasing.
Oh, thanks, dear.
Here. Just a wee dram
to warm me up a bit, eh?
You are working here.
My name is Marlene.
I'm German.
But I've met you
somewhere before, I'm sure.
- Oh, it is possible.
- Oh, never mind. We have met now.
And I would like you
to know I adore Germans.
May I sit down?
Let me make quite sure my
skirt is out of the way first.
How is the food?
Everything's off
but the chop and chips.
Oh. Well, uh, well,
that's what I'll have then.
Can I order you
Oh, no
- no, thank you. I'm just going.
Not bad, huh?
Oh. Oh, yes. It's a
very beautiful aeroplane.
- No, I meant me.
- Oh!
- Oh, is that you? Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I don't normally
carry my photograph around.
It's just that, uh, well, Mr.
Gascoyne of the Daily Post,
well, he wanted it,
you see.
Oh, uh, please begin.
That's a Wright biplane,
isn't it?
- No, that's a Curtis.
- Oh.
Is that the one
you take passengers up in?
Mm-hmm. It's got an Anzani engine
in it, developing 70 horsepower.
And you brought it
all the way from Arizona?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you must be very rich.
Well, I'm sorry
to disappoint you, ma'am,
but we came all the way
across by cattle boat.
We're in hock
way up to our eyebrows.
Now, if I don't win that race, I'm
going to lose my plane and everything.
Say, do you know that
you are very beautiful?
Oh, yes,
I know I am.
I also have a very
good figure, I'm rich...
and I'm in love with
an extremely handsome man.
- Mmm.
- Is he in love with you?
- Well, I think so.
- Well, hasn't he told you?
Well, no.
No, not exactly.
I mean, yes.
Yes, he has.
- Hmm.
- Well, let's talk about you.
All right. What do you
want to know about me?
Would you
take me up?
Well, sure. Anytime.
All right. First thing
in the morning, huh?
Say, um,
you have flown before,
haven't you?
Yes. Yes.
Hundreds of times.
Well, I-
I just love it. I-
Oh, I have to go now.
Until tomorrow then.
I'll be looking forward
to seeing you outside my hangar.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I've brought the car
to the door.
Been sitting with that
American, have you?
Yes. He was telling me
all about Arizona.
Oh, you were quite right,
H is very good-looking.
Well, I didn't fancy
the way he was looking at you.
Richard, I do believe
you're jealous.
Me, jealous? I've never
been jealous in my life.
If I catch him looking
at you again like that,
I'll give him a good hiding.
Oh, don't be so pompous.
Who's first off this morning,
Mr. Dubois, sir.
Oh, he's one of the dangers.
I know, sir. He's got a better
flying machine than you have.
I don't admit that.
But if he has,
it'll have to be nobbled.
You're not going-
You're not going to
sabotage it, governor?
I certainly am not.
You are.
Get back. Get back.
Bonne chance, Pierre!
Bon voyage, Pierre!
I think the Frenchy's
taking off.
- Shall I call the lads out?
- No.
It's a lovely day. He'll be all
right. He knows what he's doing.
You all right, Chief?
Today we fly,
Herr Rumpelstrosse.
You will taxi across
the field, take off,
fly one circle and return.
Understood, Herr Colonel. Taxi across the field, take off, fly one
- Aaah!
Oh! Aaah!
Ach, Schweinehund!
Take up your flying machine
at once...
and show those French idiots
what a German officer can do!
Herr Colonel.
On the double!
Eins, zwei, drei!
Come back!
Herr Rumpelstrosse!
Rumpelstrosse, you fool!
Stop playing the games!
How can I stop
this damn thing?
Get out of the way!
I can't stop!
Oh, go away!
Idiotic instructions!
Stop in the name of
the- Oh!
Come back here!
Hey! Just a minute!
Here! Here, what-
Go faster!
Put your foot down!
Leave my fire engine alone!
- Hey! No!
- Look out!
Where's that flying machine from?
Somebody do something!
Hrr Rumpelstrosse, no!
Not again! Aaah!
Hey, Orvil, where you going?
Orvil, you're supposed
to be practicing!
Follow that flying machine!
Hrr Colonel,
what shall I do now?
- Look in the book, fool!
- I already did so!
- What's he trying to do?
- Stop it, I suppose.
Oh, isn't he brave?
Oh, well done!
We're heading for the wall!
Come on!
We gotta jump off!
Stop! Stop!
Stop the plane!
He's stopped him! Hear!
Three cheers for the American!
Hey, Orvil, have you gone crazy?
- What do you think you're doing?
- Somebody had to.
You're supposed to be flying!
Hey, put that man down!
You hear me?
Bravo, Orvil!
Well done!
It's another German!
Can't stop!
Herr Colonel!
Come back!
save me!
Hang on! Hang on!
Hey, Orvil, what you doing? What's that
contraption you're sticking on there?
It's a scoop. Produces more
pressure up in the engine.
Yeah, well it might blow up
the engine. Ever think of that?
- You ever think that cigar might too?
- Mmm. Ah.
No, I need the speed. All
these monoplanes around here...
are a lot faster
than this old buzzard.
Since we've been here,
I been looking around,
- getting some new ideas.
- Yeah.
Um, may I come in?
Oh. Well, how do you do?
Boy, you sure are pretty.
I, uh- I waited as long
as I could this morning.
Oh, I wanted to apologize,
but I just couldn't get away.
- Why not?
- My father insisted on coming down...
to watch everyone practice.
What's he got to do with it?
- He's Lord Rawnsley.
- Lord who?
- Oh! Didn't you know?
- No.
But this is his race.
Ha! Well, I guess he's got every right
in the world to watch it then, huh?
Oh, I get it.
Well, he won't allow you to-
to fly, will he?
Hmm. What'd you ask me
to take you up for then?
You want me
kicked out of the race?
Why didn't you ask that fellow you're
supposed to be in love with to take you up?
Oh, I couldn't. He gave my
father his word that he wouldn't.
Richard's a man of principle.
Oh, yeah?
I asked you
to take me flying.. .
because I like you.
I like you very much.
And I'm dying to fly!
Well, I have to go now.
Just a second. Look,
I'm going all out to win.
Now, do you think
I have a chance?
Well, that's entirely up to you.
Isn't it?
Well, yeah.
I guess it is.
I'll see you tomorrow
at Dover.
Those are the rules, gentlemen.
Now for the route.
First day, first leg-
London to Dover.
Emergency landing fields
here, here and here.
First aid stations
here, here and here.
Refueling points here and here.
What is all this fuss about?
Why do we have to go to Dover
by road? Why can't we fly?
Good heavens! You can't expect these
machines to fly 62 miles nonstop!
You've got to reconnoiter by road.
None of you foreigners know which
railway lines to follow anyway!
On my left,
landmark number seven.
The level crossing
five miles west of Tunbridge.
Mark it on your maps,
and follow
the railway line to Dover.
It's a hell of a long way
to the other side.
- Yeah. What do you think?
- I don't know. What do you think?
Can you swim?
You can see France.
Yes, but there's an awful
lot of water in-between.
It is impossible to cross,
Herr Colonel.
Nothing is impossible
for the fatherland.
Aren't you afraid of
getting "drownded," governor?
Sorry to disappoint you,
If anybody's going
to get his feet wet,
it isn't going
to be me.
Uh, I say.
Uh, pardon moi, monsieur.
Uh. est-ce qu'il.
uh, um,
landing field-
Calais- Oh.
What's going-
Oh, I say! Oh, boy!
They're all enjoying
themselves, sir.
I should hope so.
It's costing enough.
Hey, waiter.
Thank you.
Mr. Newton!
- Wanna drink to my health?
- What, the seawater?
No, I mean champagne.
That was a very
charming gesture.
It is most strange.
I have been to every seaside
resort all over the continent,
but never have I seen
a German dive.
Perhaps their skulls
are too thin.
Come, Rumpelstrosse.
We are going to dive.
Come in, Colonel.
The water is magnificent.
- You don't like our little joke, Colonel?
- Schweinehund!
- Uh, Newton, may I have a word with you?
- Why, sure.
- What's on your mind?
- I think I should mention...
that if you continue to make advances to
my fiance, I shall knock your block off.
Well, she's not. uh,
officially engaged to you.
It's an understood thing
between Lord Rawnsley and myself.
But Patricia hasn't agreed,
and until she does, well, I'll
make all the advances I want.
You really are
being most tiresome.
What are you doing?
Are you two fighting over me?
Oh, good!
I say! I say! The
Japanese chap has arrived!
It's Yamamoto!
You know he's flown
all the way from Japan?
- Really?
- Yes.
- We don't have the facts yet, sir.
- Don't argue with me.
We must get to the landing
field and welcome him.
Come along, everyone!
Lieutenant Parsons,
Royal Navy.
How do you do?
How do you do, sir?
- Mr. Richard Mays, Coldstream Guards.
- Excuse me.
Yamamoto, excuse me, sir.
First-a class-a flying machine.
Thank you.
- May I?
- Of course.
Now that the Japanese are here,
nobody's going to
stand a chance.
He's right. This'll be
the one to beat, governor.
In that case, we'll have to
nobble the man and not the machine.
Perhaps a little cascara
in his chop suey.
Shut up.
Excuse me, sir. May I
have a word with you?
You must've had
a remarkable journey.
Ten thousand miles, wasn't
it? Did you fly it all?
Of course. First I came
by mule train to Yokohama,
then by ship
to Vladivostok.. .
to catch
the Trans-Siberian Express.
Good heavens!
From Moscow, overland
to Paris, then to Dieppe,
where I took the cross-channel
ferry to Folkestone.
Quite a remarkable journey.
But at Folkestone I boarded my
machine and flew all the way here!
Four miles!
- Orvil.
- Oh, hello.
I've been looking all over
for you. Well, here I am.
- Listen, I've got an idea.
- Yeah?
While everyone's still here,
you know what we could do?
I know what we could do
and I know what I'd like to do,
but do you think
we dare do it?
Motorcycles go very much
If we left now, we could be back
at Brookley before everyone else.
- And then?
- Then...
you could take me up
in your flying machine.
Oh. You're really determined to get
me into trouble, now, aren't you?
Don't you think I'm worth it?
All right. Come on.
Bonjour, mon capitan.
Oh. Colonel.
The name of your second,
My second?
Who wishes to be my second?
Oh, Jean Pascal.
Colonel Baron
Manfred Von Holstein...
demands satisfaction
before the race.
- I suggest at dawn tomorrow.
- Anything you wish.
But you are not serious?
This is 1910, you know?
I'm aware of the date.
Tell the idiot I agree.
He agrees.
The choice of weapons
is yours.
Do you wish to use pistols,
sabers or rapiers?
- Balloons?
- And blunderbusses.
You are trying to make
the fools of us again.
On the contrary. There is
an historical precedent.
- N'est-ce pas?
- Mm-hmm.
A similar duel between a Frenchman
and German took place in, uh-
- 1817.
- Is right.
The Frenchman won.
In that case, I accept.
Come along, everybody.
Let's get back to the motors.
I expect
you'll be flying back.
Come along, Richard!
Where's Patricia? I thought
she was with you, sir.
Well, of course she is-
What the devil is my daughter doing in that
contraption? Going back to Brookley, I think.
You don't think she's
persuaded him to take her up?
I absolutely forbid it. Stop him!
Stop him at once! Absolutely useless.
Faster. Richard.
I'm doing nearly 40 miles
an hour as it is, sir.
Come down at once!
I absolutely forbid it!
- It's fun, isn't it?
- Yes!
Oh, look, look!
Look, there's Father.
Let's give him a fright.
Oh, rats!
I broke a wing strut.
You take over the stick
and keep it steady, will ya?
Oh, no.
I- I- I can't.
I said keep it steady!
Orvil, help!
I can't keep it straight!
Orvil! Help me!
I can't do it. Hurry!
- Did that girl fly the machine herself?
- Yes!
- Are you all right, Patricia?
- Of course I'm all right.
- How dare you take my daughter up!
- He isn't to blame!
This race was organized
to help flying,
not for brainless boneheaded
nincompoops to give joyrides.
I tell you, Father,
it was my fault.
It didn't occur to you, I suppose, that
if you'd crashed with a woman onboard,
you would have
put flying back 20 years.
- You might've killed her.
- Now, look,
I knew exactly what I was doing.
And I know what I'm doing.
Oh, Richard!
come with me.
Yes, Father.
Niven, I'll have that machine
scratched from the race.
- Certainly, sir.
- Oh, not now, Not in front of everyone.
- I am entirely to blame.
- I know that.
This is the last time
you'll go up flying...
and this is the last time
you'll ride a motorcycle.
Yes, Father.
And that includes...
the one you have
hidden in the garden.
- But-
- Get into the motor!
She's at it again-
disobeying my instructions.
I don't think so.
It's the American.
The American? What's he doing
prowling around in my garden?
- You suppose he has a gun?
- Why should he, sir?
Well, the fellow's from
the Wild West, isn't he?
- It's only a motorbicycle, sir.
- Oh.
He's trying to get back into the race,
just as I've been telling you for some time.
Well, he's not going to.
He may have changed your mind.
Nothing is going to make
me change mine. Nothing!
Well, go and tell him so!
Well, don't stand there!
- Anyone thinks you're afraid of the fellow!
- Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, Newton. but Lord
Rawnsley's quite adamant.
Not only are you
out of the race,
but he expects you
to remove yourself...
and your flying machine from
Brookley as soon as possible.
Are you sure you told him
that I had to see him?
Look, if I don't get back in that
race, I'm gonna lose everything.
Boy, we don't even have enough
money to get back to London,
much less Phoenix, Arizona.
You should have
thought of that before.
Let's face it, old chap.
H only has one daughter.
Yes, but-
Aw, shucks!
Well, I wanna thank you
for trying to help me.
- What are you going to do?
- Oh, I don't know.
I guess I'll have to sell
my flying machine.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But at least you're in
the right place to do that.
Well, good-bye,
and the best of luck to you.
- You know your way out.
- Thanks for everything.
Orvil, I'm-
I'm terribly sorry.
Oh, well.
You were worth it.
Winning the race meant
a great deal to you,
didn't it?
If I'd have won it,
I'd have been somebody.
I might've been able
to go up to any girl,
even a rich
and a beautiful one,
and say to her
what I wanted to say,
ask her what I wanted to ask.
Only it can't happen now.
Oh, pl-please
forgive me.
I've been
very, very selfish.
I'll never forget you,
- Good-bye.
- Oh, no! No. Wait.
I'm going to talk to Father.
It won't be easy,
but I'm going to get
you back into the race.
Well, uh-
He'll soon change his mind.. .
when he hears what the American
ambassador's got to say about this.
Well, does he know
the American ambassador?
Neither do I.
But Father doesn't know that.
No one knows better than you gentlemen
of the international press that-
I guess a lot of innovations have been
introduced by the various competitors.
Oh, yes, indeed!
I- Well, uh,
take young Parsons of the
Royal Navy, for instance-
the fellow alighting now.
He's got a marvelous new naval idea
for stopping his flying machine. Look.
Uh, what's that?
It's a flying machine,
I think.
Yes, it must be a flying machine.
It's got, um, propellers.
- Any other questions?
- That's one out.
You guarantee this one
will fly better than the last?
There was nothing wrong
with my ornithopter,
just rotten piloting,
if you ask me!
You'll like this one.
Just start the engine,
and you're off, all right?
Hmm? Oh!
prepare your weapons!
Gentlemen, I count 10...
and then you will fire!
One, two,
three, four,
five, six.
nine- Nein!
Get back to your position.
Monsieur Dubois!
Schweinehund, you are not
following the rules!
- We always follow the rules!
- No! You didn't!
The French always follow the rules!
Vive la France!
This time I'll count to five!
One, two, three,
four, five!
Sabotage! Sabotage!
You idiot!
Ooh la! Ooh la!
Ooh la! Ooh la!
Ooh la la!
"With only 16 hours to go.. .
"before the start of the
greatest race of all time,
"temperatures have reached
boiling point here at Brookley.
"Not surprising perhaps,
"when so many different
nationalities are involved.
"You will be glad to know that
the slight technical difficulty...
"which it was thought would keep
Orvil Newton out of the race...
"has now been ironed out.
"Tonight, along with
the other competitors,
"he is attending a small
eve-of-the-race reception,
"a gathering which one hopes
may foster the spirit...
of peace and goodwill
amongst the aeronautists."
That's the idea. It won't take a minute.
If you could just turn round too, sir.
Could we just get your photograph?
Sir, if you turn this way-
Yes. Hand-to-hand, hands
across the sea. That's the idea.
Now, if you could just
give us a big smile.
That's the idea.
Now, hold it.
I always thought that
the English were noted...
for their sense of fair play.
- Oh, we are, indeed. Yes.
- I'm ready, gentlemen.
Well, you punched me
when I wasn't looking.
My dear fellow, if you continue to
pursue a certain party,
I shall take the greatest pleasure
in punching you when you are looking.
Well, you're gonna
have your hands full,
because I'm gonna marry
that certain party.
I'm afraid that's
going to be rather awkward,
because I'm going to
marry her also.
Gentlemen, could we have
a nice smile, please?
Thank you so much.
Oh! I beg your pardon.
Ooh! Buzz off.
Hello! Care for
a glass of wine?
No, thanks, old chap. I
only drink whiskey and water.
Oh. Sir Percy. Very kind. Is that mine?
Thank you very much.
Ahhh. Serves him right,
the greedy blighter.
Come, Courtney. We've got work to
do. We can't do nothing tonight.
There's guards
all over the place.
Besides, everybody's going
to sleep by their planes.
Not everybody.
Yamamoto's still inside,
and, uh. I've given
the Frenchman...
the address of
a very lovely young lady.
Oh-ho-ho. I'll bet she's a
bit of all right, governor.
Well, you should know.
She's your daughter.
But, governor, she's an innocent
young girl.
Not is, Courtney-
Come on.
Now, drop me at
the American's hangar,
then pop into Yamamoto's and
see what you can do with this.
What are you gonna do
to the Yankee?
It's no business
of yours, Courtney,
but if you really
want to know,
I'm going to arrange that
one of his wheels falls off.
That's a bit dirty,
isn't it, governor?
If he can't land on one wheel,
he shouldn't be in the race.
Yeah, but he might
kill himself.
There are plenty more Americans
where he comes from.
Now, sir, just one
without your cap.
Certainly not.
I'm a naval officer.
Oh, well. perhaps
a bit of a smile, sir?
Oh, very well.
Just a bit of a one.
Lieutenant Parsons, where have you
been? Everybody's been waiting for you.
You've not got your logbook filled in
or your starter's forms or anything.
- Meet Nelson, my passenger.
- You can't take that with you.
- Why not?
- It'll muck up my starter's forms.
And for another, no one has
yet taken an animal aloft.
Nelson doesn't go,
neither do I.
Absolutely out of the question.
- Go on.
- Oh, very well then, fill these forms.
Well, that's everybody-
all 14 of you.
Oh, no, it isn't. Where
are those blasted Germans?
Over at the hangars, old man. I don't think
they know anything about your starter's forms.
Rumpelstrosse, the great
moment has arrived. Come.
Herr Colonel,
it is no good.
I'm a sick fellow.
I cannot fly.
You must fly!
For the emperor
and the fatherland!
For the emp-
Excuse me.
It's going to be
a busy day for our lads.
All spectators away
from the flying machines!
Spectators away from
the flying machines, please!
- Ought to be starting them, sir.
- Nonsense.
I haven't wished
the competitors good luck yet.
What's the Japanese
for "good luck"?
I have it here, sir.
One moment.
Here we are.
Thank you, sir.
Good luck.
Get out of it!
- Aren't you sitting the wrong way round?
- Of course I'm not.
You take me for an idiot?
This is my latest invention.
It's an idea
I had in the bath.. .
when sitting
with my back to the taps.
You see, the wind resistance
on the tail...
is less than it would be
on the wings.
Heh. I shall most likely
be in Paris...
before any of this lot
have even got to Calais.
It's pathetic, isn't it?
- I don't know what he's talking about.
- Neither does he, sir.
Well, let's see, now.. .
what was the French
for "give us the money"?
Ah, bonne chance,
Monsieur Dubois.
Ah, merci, monsieur.
Mmm. Mmm.
Wrong frog, sir.
Bonne chance,
Monsieur Dubois.
Ah. Bonjour, mademoiselle.
Really, Monsieur Dubois!
Uh, forgive me, mademoiselle.
I was carried away.
The spirit of the occasion,
sir. The entente cordiale.
If you ask me, too much
entente and far too cordiale.
The trouble with these international
affairs is that they attract foreigners.
But I thought Captain Rumpelstrosse
was your pilot, Herr Colonel.
I am taking his place.
H is indisposed, sir.
I didn't know
you could fly.
Oh, there's nothing
a German officer cannot do.
So, "'Number One. Sit down."
Ah, so-
Surely, you're not taking
your family with you, are you?
You always make-a the joke.
They come to wish
their papa good-bye.
No, no. Sophia, no. No,
no, no, no, no. Sophia.
I see you have another
new flying machine.
Presented to me personally...
by his majesty
the King of Italy.
Generale Parlonni.
Fsst. Fsst.
Well, good luck to you
and the King of Italy.
Thank you, milord.
Thank you, milord.
No, no, Sophia.
Sophia, no, no, no.
- Can you tell me where you come from?
- Phoenix, Arizona.
Good luck.
If it wasn't for my
daughter's persuasiveness.. .
and my native sporting instinct,
you'd be out of this race.
Fortunately, I am
a very reasonable man.
Good luck to you.
At least if he breaks his neck,
my daughter won't be with him.
- Good luck, Orvil.
- Oh, thank you, Patricia.
Say, will I get to
see you in Paris?
There's something I want to talk to you about
- something very important.
Oh, yes,
I'll be there.
Mm. We're going over on
Father's private yacht.
Oh. Well-
I'm not going to
wish you luck, my boy.
- I expect you to win without it.
- Well, I'll do my best, sir.
Thank you.
Well, good luck, me dear
fellow. Thank you, sir.
Good luck, Richard.
Uh, well, thanks. And
thanks for all your help too.
Listen, Patricia, as soon as I get
to Paris, I've got to talk to you.
It's very important.
You'll be there, won't you?
Yes, I'll be there.
There they are,
- I've done everything you said, sir.
- Good.
Right, now get down to Dover and carry
out the rest of your master's instructions.
Oh, can't I just wait
and see the nip take off?
All right.
Don't think you're gonna get treats
like this all the time, Courtney.
I say, the wind's
getting up a bit, sir.
- We're 20 minutes late as it is.
- We've just got to start.
I can't start
without Lord Rawnsley.
Well, can you start it
quickly when he does arrive?
Of course. I've only
got to do this to start it.
Look. They're off!
I didn't tell them
they could start.
A knife!
Get me a knife.
You ain't going
to commit hari-kari?
Of course not,
you bloody fool.
I've got to cut my way out,
haven't I?
All right, Courtney, shoot off.
You've had your treat.
- Yeah-
- Well, go on!
Away you go!
- Mama! Mama, he's up!
- Yes, but he's got to get down again.
Oh, Dio.
Oh, mamma mia.
This is indeed an unwarranted
intrusion into our privacy.
Be good enough to remove yourself
and your machine immediately.
return to your work.
- Un momento.
- What is it?
I cannot leave
unless I have-a some help.
I need-a men to hold down the tail
so I can take off. Fsst!
Men are not permitted here.
No men, no take off.
perhaps, uh, the sisters-
- Certainly not.
- A pity.
We are the first aviators to make-a
the race from London to Paris.
We are not interested
in worldly matters.
I understand, Mother,
but it is a pity.. .
that the race. it will
now be won by a Protestant.
Sisters, don't stand around gaping.
This good Catholic
needs our help.
Brava! Superiore!
Oh! Ooh!
Don't push!
What's the idea?
Damn silly thing to do!
Nearly frightened the life
out of the memsahib!
I'm terribly sorry, sir,
but I had no alternative.
Fuel pipe blocked.
You haven't got a pipe cleaner
I could run through it, have you?
Why, we haven't got
a pipe cleaner, have we?
Oh, wait a minute.
Would that do?
That's just the thing.
Thank you very much,
I'm a competitor in the Daily Post Air
Race. I suppose you've read about it.
- No. I only read the Times.
- That's right.
Hold on, please.
I think I'll get
one of those, Muriel.
I shouldn't, Willy. You're near
enough to your wings as it is.
Come on.
Right over here. Could
we just have a photograph-
Oh, I say! There's the French
chappie. Very good effort.
Well done, sir! We'll
take care of the machine.
Well done!
Hey, you! No!
Come on!
Quick! Over here!
Danke schn.
Danke schn.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Assassin! Assassin!
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
It's my flying machine
I'm worried about.
- Looks like you're out of the race.
- I wouldn't say that.
Say, do ya think they got any
spare wheels on this landing field?
Well, possibly, but it'll
take all night to repair that.
- Is there anything wrong with working all night?
- Well, no.
- All right then.
- Good luck.
- Any more to come?
- Let's see now.
Of the 14 starters,
eight have landed,
two crashed on takeoff,
three crashed on the
way here, and one. ..
is on his way to Scotland?
- Ah!
- Marlene, what are you doing here?
Marlene? No, Franoise.
I am Bulgarian.
But aren't you
- I mean, haven't I met you somewhere before?
- It is possible.
- I see.
Have a drink?
Your attention, please!
Uh, your attention, please! I-I
have a sensational announcement.
Sir Percy Ware-Armitage
has taken off for France.
H is crossing the channel
even now in the dark.
Stop mucking about!
Useless lot!
Oh, evening, sir. Great honor having your
eminence onboard our little brig, sir.
I say,
careful of that wing.
I say, I hope it
isn't going to be rough.
Argh! Smooth as a billiard table,
sir. Uh, you did bring the money, sir?
Oh, I never discuss that sort of thing.
You'll have to take it up with my man.
Courtney, are these people
to be trusted?
Yes, governor, if you
give them 10 guineas each.
Ten guineas? I can get a
chambermaid for a year for that.
Do they guarantee to get me
over to France before dawn?
Yes, governor.
Courtney, there are 10 of them.
Do you realize this is going
to cost your master 100 guineas?
Uh, a hundred and ten.
You'll be paying me
the same, I fancy?
Well, you fancy wrong,
Courtney. Impudent oaf!
Any more of this blackmail, I'll
have you thrown out of your cottage.
- Now buzz off!
- Sorry.
- Go on! Off you go!
- Just a joke.
- I say, Courtney?
- Yes, governor?
You'll be hearing more of this matter
when I return from la belle France.
Good heavens. Sir Percy is
flying the channel at this moment.
In the dark? He must be mad. He won't
be able to see the railway lines.
- What railway lines?
- I never thought he had the courage.
If we go on deck, sir, we might
be able to hear him pass overhead.
Or drop into the sea!
Five guineas each,
wasn't it?
Ten, or we go
straight back to England.
Outrageous! I shall never
hire your boat again.
Hey! The tide's in!
It'll be out in a couple
hours. Back on board!
You don't think I'm gonna wait till
daylight to be caught by the French?
You'll have to
get your feet wet.
You dirty rotter.
I had hoped that I should
be dealing with a gentleman.
So had I.
All ashore!
Just look at those
magnificent men...
daring the elements,
challenging the gods,
nay, hoping
- to fly their machines across no less than 22 miles.
Yes, that's what I said-
22 miles of sea!
Welcome to Calais, monsieur.
Give me a hand, will you?
No, no, no! Put me down!
Don't do that! Go away!
What are you doing?
I've gotta get to Calais to compete in
the race! Put me down, you ruddy idiots!
Don't be silly!
I haven't got the time!
I've got to get to Calais
to continue the race!
Bon voyage, monsieur!
Are you all right,
Lieutenant Parsons?
Don't worry!
We'll soon have you out!
Can you swim?
There is nothing
a German officer cannot do!
The race is not over yet! We've got
to get them refueled and off to Paris!
Richard Mays,
Orvil Newton away
from Calais at... 8:50.
La amricaine, you can vive who
you like, they haven't got a chance.
The fabulous Sir Percy
took off for Paris two hours ago.
He's so far in the lead, nothing
can stop him. Nothing at all. Ha!
Vive Sir Percy!
What am I saying?
He's a most ghastly person.
Buzz off!
Go on! Bug off!
Blast it!
Stop the train!
Arretez le train!
Look! Go!
Hey, you!
Where can I get some-
what are you doing here?
Pardon, monsieur?
- Uh, you are not Franoise?
- No, Yvette. Why?
Um, where can I get
some gasoline?
At Amiens. It is
five kilometers from here.
Be a good fellow and bring
me as much as possible.
The honor of France
is at stake.
- But, Yvette!
- You must go. Go, go, go!
All right! All right, but
I will be a good 30 minutes.
We have 30 minutes.
Excuse me.
Can you see anyone yet?
Yes! Ponticelli is first
round the Eiffel Tower.
There are two more on his tail!
This is going to be a close
finish, very close indeed.
Count Ponticelli's still ahead,
followed by...
Orvil Newton, Richard Mays.
And here they come now!
Here's the winner!
It's Richard Mays!
Richard Mays of England!
You get ready to jump now!
- Ponticelli. Ponticelli! You all right?
- Eh?
- Are you all right?
- I'm all right.
Emilio! Emilio!
Emilio! Ohh!
Oh, Richard! Oh, Richard!
You won!
Oh, Richard! You won! You
won! You won! I'm so pleased.
- What happened to Ponticelli?
- Well, his machine caught fire.
Orvil was marvelous!
He had to stop to pick him up.
H could have won though.
Hey, Richard!
Richard, congratulations.
Well done, Richard!
Well, you deserve it more than I
do. It was a wonderful thing you did.
You'd have done the same thing
if you'd have seen him.
Well, you did it.
Let's call it a tie.
We'll share the prize.
The city of Paris salutes
the gallant victor!
Pierre Dubois is coming!
You remember me,
don't you?
- Yes, of course. You-You are- You are-
- Betty.
Betty! Of course. Oh.
How could I ever forget?
Every time I look at you,
my heart sings.
Will you pardon me?
I better have a look at my undercarriage.
It's been taking an awful beating.
I think we ought to go
and find somewhere to put-
We must have your photograph
by your machine, monsieur.
Over here. This way.
And now you stop flying, huh?
- Do I have to?
- You have to.
Not for me,
but for bambinos.
By now they're
used to it.
- Another one?
- Uh-huh.
In that-a case,
I give up.
- Emilio.
- Sophia.
Turn around.
- Whoops!
- Oh!
So ended the 1910 air race.
The winner's time:
25 hours, 11 minutes.
Today the same distance can be covered
by supersonic jets in seven minutes,
but it can take longer.
May I have your attention,
We regret to announce that the departure
of all planes from London to Paris...
have been delayed again,
owing to bad weather.
Buses are waiting outside
to take you back to your hotels.
Will you all come
this way, please?
Will you all follow me?
Those magnificent men
In their flying machines
They go up tiddly up up
They go down tiddly um down
They enchant all the ladies
and steal all the scenes
With their up tiddly up up
And their down
tiddly um down
Up, down
Flying around
Looping the loop
and defying the ground
They're all
frightfully keen
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
They can fly upside down
with their feet in the air
They don't think of danger
They really don't care
Newton would think
he had made a mistake
To see those young men
and the chances they take
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
They go up tiddly up up
They go down tiddly um down
They enchant all the ladies
and steal all the scenes
With their up tiddly up up
And their down
tiddly um down
Up, down
Flying around
Looping the loop
and defying the ground
They're all
Frightfully keen
Those magnificent men
in their flying machines
Those magnificent men
In their flying machines
They go up tiddly up up
They go down
tiddly um down
Those magnificent men
In their flying machines