Till Death Do We Rot (2019) Movie Script

(guitar music)
(ominous playful music)
(wine splashing)
- Hi, yes.
I was wondering if I could talk to someone
about my recent purchase?
Yes, I'll hold.
Yes.
Uh, the flu department?
Yes.
Yes, thank you.
Hi, yes.
I was wondering if you
were the right person to speak to?
I have some concerns
over my recent purchase.
Okay, yes, thank you.
This is Sunny Smith.
Yes.
Yes, uh, just this morning.
Now, your brochure says restore
to, you know, former glory,
and, you know, my husband
was one of those flu victims.
You know, that, uh...
Yeah.
Yeah, a zombie.
That's what they're calling them.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know, we don't
have any kids or anything,
so I wanted to remember him
by more than just a picture,
and I believed this brochure when you said
you know, that they'll look...
Okay.
No.
Well then, that's false advertising.
So okay, so you mean like, how
they looked when they died?
Well, you know what?
(sighs)
No, this is just really hard and...
Okay, transfer me.
Yes, this is Sunny Smith.
No, like I told the last representative,
my husband died from the flu virus.
He came back as a zombie,
and then your brochure said
that you would put him
back to his former glory,
so that he looked like he was.
This is not my husband that I remember.
This is not the husband I
spent my last 10 years with.
We have no kids, do you hear me?
Well yes, I would love a full refund,
but I also would like
you to take this away,
and make it look like my husband.
No, next Friday doesn't work.
You're coming back this afternoon.
Okay, bye.
(sighs)
What am I gonna do with you?
(sighs)
This is 1200 bucks I can't get back.
(ominous playful music)
(women chattering)
I just felt like it was never gonna end.
- I'm so glad it's Friday.
- Cheers.
- Thank you.
- Yes, it's been coming all day.
Thank you, baby girl.
- You're welcome.
- [Vanessa] You know
who I saw this weekend?
- Who?
(Vanessa sighs)
- [Vanessa] That girl Joyce.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You're kidding me.
- No.
She had her husband with her.
She keeps him around
even though he's gone.
- [Sunny] How can she
bring him out in public?
It is disgusting.
- I know.
- I find it repulsive,
if you must really know.
I mean, living with that thing?
She goes about her life
like nothing's changed.
- How could she do that?
- It's disgusting.
I mean, she keeps that thing
around like it's a pet.
It's so disgusting, but
I mean, just look at her.
She's disgusting herself.
- Yeah, she looks like some
biker gang dropped her off,
and then left without her.
- So, so wrong.
- But does she have sex
with him or something?
- Oh, see that is wrong!
This is why the good
Lord has punished girls.
These crazies, they think they
can do anything they want,
go against his word.
Mm-mm, that's what happened
with Sodom and Gomorrah,
that what's happening now.
That's why God has taken away all our men!
We are being punished.
She thinks she can do whatever
she wants with that thing.
It's gonna pose more problems for us.
- Okay Kat, thanks for the lesson.
- I bet she does have sex with him.
- You think so?
- Well, she does live with him,
and she looks pretty demented herself.
- She sure seems like
someone that would do it.
- Defiling the corpse.
- It's just so wrong.
- So wrong!
- On so many levels.
- Well, what do you expect?
She's the town dumpster.
When everyone's moved on with their life,
she just stands there by herself,
and thinks she can go on all by herself.
You know, when the virus took my George,
I knew it was his time. (sighs)
I wasn't gonna fight it.
I mean, if only I got the
vaccine in time, you know?
But I'm not gonna dwell on it.
- It is what it is, honey.
It's God's will at this point.
- Thanks, Kat.
- You know it is!
It is.
- Of course.
- You all be careful.
- All right anyways, more wine?
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
I'll top you off there.
- Thanks.
- There you go.
- See, this is what Father Dave
was talking about all this time.
You would know if you attended
the potluck brunch at church.
Okay, y'all need scriptures.
- All right, cheers ladies.
- Yes!
(glasses clink)
- Thank goodness.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love this new wine I got.
It really has a kick to it, doesn't it?
- It sure does.
- Yeah, I actually got it for like $12.
It really won't last
though, that's for sure.
- It's not as good as the church's.
- I think there should
be some law against it.
- Wait, what?
Against wine?
- No!
You idiot, keeping your
dead husband around.
- Oh, I do too.
What's that word when
you have sex with it?
What's it called?
I know it's like necro?
- Necrophilia.
- Ah yes, that's it.
Can he even get it up?
I mean, like, what is there to take
for that when you're a zombie?
(sighs)
- Well, I mean, I bet she's on top.
- Jesus.
Jesus, girls, I guess they
don't teach Corinthians
at community college, huh?
This is what happens when you miss
the last 18 sessions of Sunday School.
Pastor Dave is not thrilled with y'all.
- You and Pastor Dave.
- What about it?
- What's going on?
- You better watch what
you're talking about.
You better watch it!
Vanessa, Vanessa!
- Ladies!
(microwave humming)
(sighs)
(ominous playful music)
(banging)
(grunting)
(banging)
- All right!
(grunting)
We're running out of your, your meat.
You're gonna have to
take it easy on this one.
(grunts)
Well, you're gonna have to!
It's getting harder to go out these days.
You know how those
twats are looking at me.
It's like I have two heads.
(bangs table)
Use the fork!
(bangs table)
Use the fork!
(laughing)
You really are something, you know?
You're lucky I love you.
(bangs table)
If I was one of those judgmental cunts,
I would've offed you by now.
Here we are.
(grunts)
(sighs)
(grunting)
Take it easy.
Robin!
Slow down.
Listen, smart ass.
I'm just trying to be careful.
We'll run out of meat
and then you'll starve.
(bangs table)
Can you hear me?
Is that one tasty?
Hey, you are lucky that I love you.
(Robin grunts)
All right.
Come on, we're done eating for now.
I have to rotate you.
Come on.
Here you go, Robin.
She's the last one.
Wake up, you Casey Anthony bitch!
(breathing heavily)
- Please, you don't have to do this!
You can just let me go!
I promise I won't tell anybody, please.
You just, just let me go!
- [Joyce] You should've thought about that
before you drowned your baby, bitch!
- What the fuck are you talking about?
(spits)
(breathing heavily)
What the fuck are you talking about?
I didn't do that!
- Oh, so it was someone else's kid's face
plastered all over the place?
It wasn't your car that
you were getting away in?
No, not you!
You're innocent.
- I was found not
guilty, you psycho bitch!
- Hurry up, Robin.
- No, please don't!
(screaming loudly)
No, no!
(screaming)
(sobbing)
(ominous playful music)
(birds chirping)
(knocking)
- Yes?
- Detective Feight, mind if
I ask you a few questions?
- Sure, is everything okay?
- Just trying to make
sure everybody stays safe.
- All right.
- So, have you noticed anything
out of the ordinary or
suspicious happening?
- [Vanessa] Like what?
- Oh, I don't know, people, cars.
Anything that shouldn't be here around?
- No, not really.
- We have three people
that are gone and missing,
and a dead body's been found
about half a mile from here.
- Oh my god, are you serious?
- Do I look not serious?
- No, I mean, no, I haven't seen anyone,
I mean, or anything.
- You haven't heard anything
from your neighbors?
They haven't reported anything?
This is a small town, people talk.
- No, not really, honest.
(suspenseful music)
- What's your name?
- Vanessa.
- Okay Vanessa, here's my card.
Please give me a shout if
you hear anything suspicious,
or if anyone tells you anything.
- [Vanessa] Okay.
- And please stay safe.
- Okay, will do.
Thank you.
(birds chirping)
What the hell are you doing here, Feight?
What are you looking for?
- Oh Ezekiel, a sad day for Egypt indeed.
(phone buzzing)
- Kat?
- This better be good, Vanessa.
I am in the middle of--
- You will never believe
what just happened.
- What?
What happened?
- There's a guy, a detective at my door.
He says that there's people missing.
- What?
Come on!
- Yeah.
He's looking for someone.
- Seriously?
- Dead serious.
- Hold on.
Sunny?
- Hey.
- You're never gonna
guess what just happened.
- There was a detective at my door.
He says that there's people missing.
- Yeah, yeah, there's a
detective looking for people.
- No shit?
- I told you, I told you, mm!
(footsteps scraping)
(wolf whistling)
- I haven't seen you here before.
- [Joyce] I come now and then.
- Nope, I haven't seen you here before.
I'd remember.
What do you say we go
put that mouth to work?
- How about not?
- Oh, come on.
Why not?
- Because I'm not interested,
isn't that reason enough?
- That's a negative idea.
(groaning)
Bitch!
Ah, let me go!
- I don't think you're in any
position to be making demands.
(groaning)
- Oh, when I get my
hands on you, you bitch!
- See, I don't think
you should be that rude.
Maybe a little bit nicer.
I've got you by the balls, literally.
(groaning)
- Whoever these people
are, it doesn't matter.
The point is, someone is taking them,
kidnapping them, killing them,
and who the hell knows what else?
- I always said this neighborhood
is going to absolute shit.
God be good, I pray for better times.
- Well, I think we need to
do something about this.
We really need to keep our eyes wide open.
- And do what?
Be like our own neighborhood watch?
- Why not?
Who else is gonna do it?
- I don't know, not us.
- Certainly not the blacks.
(light instrumental music)
(sighs)
- Anyways, I don't know about
you, but I don't feel safe.
- Exactly!
- I don't know what I'm gonna do
when I'm all alone walking
to the supermarket,
or coming to meet with you here.
- That's right!
That's why we need to stick together.
Keep our eyes wide open,
take notes on people
and things that we see,
lock our doors at night,
and I don't know, invest in a gun or two.
- This is crazy!
- Sure, but not crazier than
ending up in a ditch dead!
Everyone's taking the opportunity now
that the men are getting sick.
With so many of us
widowed, we make easy prey.
- That's why you all need
to get down on your knees
and pray, all right?
I've been saying it all along.
- Sorry Kat, but what am I going to do?
Pray the rapist away right in front of me?
Pray myself out of a locked trunk?
Seriously!
- You'd be surprised.
- You've gotta be kidding.
- I'm just saying.
- Unless...
- Unless what?
- Unless we figure this out ourselves.
- Figure what, what about?
- All right, just spit it out.
- That bitch Joyce still has a husband.
- What's your point, darling?
- Well, doesn't that make you wonder
with all these people gone?
- That is--
- The best explanation one can have.
- God help us.
- No, God help her.
(light instrumental music)
(screaming)
- [Creep] What?
Where the hell am I?
- [Joyce] It really doesn't
matter now, does it?
- You.
You bitch!
- I'd use nicer language if I were you.
You're still not in any
position to make demands,
or to call me nasty, rude names.
- What do you want?
What do you want from me?
Robin.
- See, it's not what I want.
It's what my husband wants.
- What are you talking about?
- He's a zombie.
- What are you gonna do?
- He's a zombie, and just like humans,
if he doesn't eat, he'll starve.
So, he'll eat you.
He'll bite you.
He'll rip off your flesh,
chew it up, and then swallow.
Does that paint a good
enough picture for you?
- You're fucked up!
Don't, don't come near me!
- Oh my god, I hate it when they do this.
They act like if you
say, "Don't come near me!
"Oh please, save me, I'll do anything!"
That you're just gonna
say, "Oh, it's okay.
"You're free to go."
No problem, no wishes here.
You're not safe.
You did me a really,
really, really big favor
by being a complete ass last night.
- No, no, get away!
Get away, get away!
- [Joyce] Are you hungry, Robin?
- Get away, get away!
Help!
(screaming loudly)
(gurgling)
(grunting)
(Robin growling)
(suspenseful music)
- It's warm.
It's really warm.
It can't be one of the dead ones.
Well, they're probably dead now.
It's gotta be someone in the town.
Who, Feight, who?
Ha!
Ugh, I really need to
get these contacts out.
(zombie growling)
Well, I guess that's my exit cue.
(gunshot fires)
Feight here.
- [Vanessa] So, I know you said
to call if anything comes up.
- Yes, what do you have?
- [Vanessa] A really strong lead.
I trust my gut.
- Well, I've known my gut to lie.
It's how I got married.
Then divorced,
then married again.
- [Vanessa] This is a sure thing.
- Okay, I'm on my way.
- Did you eat enough today, Robin?
(Robin grunts)
- Are you filled?
(Robin grunts)
You need to take it easy.
You never clean very good, do you?
Stop, stop!
(gasps)
Are you kidding?
You cannot bite me!
Do you want to be another
husband that's offed by his wife?
(Robin grunts)
Then get your shit together!
Hey!
No biting!
God, you're crazy! (sighs)
(knocking)
Hello.
That won't be necessary.
- How do you figure?
- That's Robin, my husband.
If he was dangerous, he
would've killed me by now.
Come on, can I get you something to drink?
- That won't be necessary.
(suspenseful music)
- Come on, move over.
We have guests!
Move over.
Here, take a seat.
Robin...
So, what can I do for you?
- We had some people come
up missing in the area.
Locals, criminals, undesirables,
people you don't really miss,
but locals, nonetheless.
- Hmm, and they told you it was me?
- Who?
- Vanessa and her gang.
Just because I kept my husband
and they got rid of theirs,
does not make me a bigger suspect.
I keep him, I feed him.
We find a way to go on.
- What does he eat?
- [Joyce] Meat, mostly.
- What kind of meat?
- Raw from animals.
He likes it best.
(suspenseful music)
- So, what's the history between you guys?
Vanessa and her gang?
- There is no history, really.
They're just a judgmental lot.
They like to stick their nose
in other people's business.
I'm a freak for keeping a zombie.
He's still my husband.
And they have this idea of
what a marriage should be.
They even put their religious
views and shit into it.
Who are they to tell
people who they can love?
A man, a man, a woman, a man.
- Well, the ethical thing to do would be--
- Yeah, I know.
Put him out of his misery.
It's not the first time I've heard it,
and it won't be the last.
We're not breaking any laws here.
- Touche.
- Does he look miserable?
Exactly.
- Well, here's my card.
Please give me a shout
if you hear anything.
- Yeah, will do.
(sighs)
(light instrumental music)
(knocking)
Who could that be now?
(door creaks)
(sighs)
Can I help you?
- Ah yes, I just stumbled
upon your lovely home,
and was hoping to talk to you today
about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
I have the good book with me,
if you want to hear a few gospels?
- [Joyce] Tell me what?
- Well, let me ask you this.
Have you found him or at least
been acquainted with him yet?
- I haven't really been looking for him,
to tell you the truth.
- Attempt to truly accept
him into your heart.
You will never truly reach salvation.
Now, let me look for
something to talk about today.
(Robin growls)
- Hey!
Robin, go back.
(door creaks)
(sighs)
- You keep that abomination with you?
You live with it?
- Well, he is my husband.
- That's blasphemous!
That's disgusting.
That goes against
everything we believe in.
- We are married.
We watch TV together.
We have sex.
We do what other married couples do.
- That's not right.
That is not right at all.
That goes against the very,
very sanctity of marriage.
Just get rid of it and cleanse
yourself of this filth,
or else, I promise you,
you will spend your eternity in Hell.
- [Joyce] Oh yeah?
Well, if that's you promise,
then it's gotta be serious.
- Oh, you better believe it's serious.
God makes it serious.
(Robin growls)
(Pastor Dave screams)
(bright classical music)
- Why couldn't we meet in
more of a public place?
- I don't know where the hell he is.
He told me he'd be here,
like 20 minutes ago.
(sighs)
God.
- I just don't understand
why you want this anyway.
- Well, we can't just go
in there with nothing.
- [Sunny] But this?
- [Vanessa] I mean, this is the only way.
- I feel like it's a bit extreme.
- It really isn't.
Look at the big picture, come on.
(Sunny sighs)
(suspenseful music)
What do you think?
- It's 250, like we agreed.
- Wow, 250 for that?
What are we doing?
Are we going to war?
- We're bringing them to the woods.
You know what's out there.
- Wasn't this supposed to be
some sort of like, in
and out sort of thing?
I didn't know we were
gonna go in guns blazing.
- Well, what's your weapon of choice?
- I don't know, not a gun.
Something quiet, like a machete.
Something I know I can handle.
Can you even handle that?
- Yeah, I know how to handle this.
- Am I good here?
I got other stops to make.
- [Vanessa] Yes, you're good.
Let's go.
- So what?
You know how to use a gun now?
- No, I mean, I watch
a lot of action movies.
I mean, how hard is it?
If Jodie Foster can do
it, why the hell can't I?
- That example makes absolutely no sense.
I just want to get in and get out.
I don't want to be seen with you
in broad daylight with this thing.
- It's for our protection.
- Protection from what?
We live in the most boring
neighborhood that there is.
(sighs)
Just tell me this is not part
of your whole neighborhood watch dream.
- You're gonna be happy when
we have this protection,
'cause we're gonna need it.
Plus not to mention, I look like a badass!
(ominous playful music)
- Hold on!
(Robin growls)
Here you go, make it last!
(Joyce sighs)
You know, it's nice being out here.
(Robin grunts)
We don't always have to
be cooped up in the house.
So, what do you think of that detective?
He's been talking to Vanessa
and her gang of idiots.
You know, if she wants to play,
she's got another thing coming.
(Robin grunts)
You know, like Feight said,
these are a bunch of
lowlifes and scumbags.
We're doing this town a favor.
No one's gonna miss them.
(Robin grunts)
(Robin growling)
(suspenseful music)
- That's one of the most
disgusting things I have ever seen.
Just out here enjoying
the sun with your mongrel?
- What do you want?
- Oh, you know,
just trying to enjoy the
day but then I see this.
- What is he eating?
Is it human meat?
- Oh Jesus, Carmel stop it.
- What you are doing is
wrong, Joyce, baby girl.
You know it, we all know it.
- Thanks for the information,
and your opinion, which
I clearly asked for.
- God almighty!
Jesus, people, he's the only answer.
It's, it's so easy.
- Enough with the Jesus already.
- If you would just accept
our lord and savior, Jesus Christ,
you would know this is a mistake!
- The truth of the matter
is, no one wants you here.
So why don't you take that
sack of rotting bones,
and get the hell outta here!
- [Joyce] I'll take that under advisement.
- No, really,
you can think of this as
a warning and get out.
- Y'all two need to repent.
You need to repent right now!
Open your hearts, let him into your souls.
You'll see this is a mistake!
- All right Kat, I think we get it.
- I'm just say, I'm just saying.
- All right, but I think you should do
as Vanessa says, and get out.
- Do you feed him human meat?
- I can feed him one of you!
- Things can go very badly for you here,
so I suggest you get outta here.
- I'd like to see how this plays out.
So here I am, so take your best shot.
- [Sunny] All right guys, we're in public.
- You came to me.
- I get it, I get it,
but I don't wanna attract
any more attention out here.
- Well, I, I think she's
already attracted it
with her zombie husband.
- Oh, for god, Jesus people!
He is the only answer, the only one!
- Enough with the Jesus already.
Let's go, girls.
(suspenseful music)
(Joyce sighs)
- I should've blown her brains
out, right then, right there!
Hey?
(Robin grunts)
You know, it would be nice
to get out for a few days.
Take a vacation.
(Robin grunts)
The only thing is, I'm
kinda worried if we leave,
we won't want to come back.
But it's whatever.
Um, you know, we could
just go and get away.
(Robin grunts)
You know...
I wouldn't be opposed to
having some fun right now.
Ow!
Um...
Oh! (sighs)
(doorbell rings)
(sighs)
What the fuck?
If that's the detective
again, I'm gonna be pissed.
What a cock block.
(sighs)
(Robin growling)
(door creaks)
(gasps)
(Robin growls)
What the fuck?
How did you get caught?
(Robin grunts)
Fuck!
(Robin growling)
- Well, well, well.
I thought that was it for you.
I thought I actually
hit you and killed you.
- You're gonna fucking wish you did!
(ominous music)
- All right, enough of this bravado.
It's getting old.
- What are you planning on doing?
- That's the beauty of it.
I'm gonna say this again.
You creep everyone out.
I gave you a chance to get out of town.
So, what we think is best
is that you leave here.
- We figured it wasn't very fair
for you to be alive and him to be dead.
- So, we came up a new solution.
Accept Christ into your heart,
but there's gonna be a sacrifice.
(Robin growls)
One of you's gotta die.
That's how it's gonna be!
Fantastic, right?
- This just needs to be fixed.
- What makes you think this needs fixing?
- Joyce, we all agreed
that it's not natural.
No, no one keeps their
zombie husbands around.
It just doesn't work.
- Ah, so I get it.
It's like a group decision.
You made this decision for me.
- Yes ma'am.
- Yeah.
- Yep, we did.
- Mm-hmm.
- We did, and it's for the best really.
I, I mean, if things weren't this way,
maybe you could've been one of us, Joyce.
I, I really mean it.
- Accept of God's children,
or dance with the Devil.
It's the only way. (laughs)
- You are psychotic.
Like seriously, fucking psychotic!
- Says the woman sleeping with a zombie.
- Seriously, you do know you
can catch a disease from that.
I, I think you can.
Right, right?
- It's puzzling.
- Don't think about this as the end.
Think about it as a new beginning.
After all, it's till death do we part,
or I guess, till death do we rot.
- Kindly remember to praise Jesus
on your way out, okay kids?
As long as you admit that
you're filthy rotten sinners,
he'll take you in, oh my God!
He'll take you in!
- I'll be sure to do that.
- If I were you, I'd be thanking me.
- Thanking you?
That's an odd way of looking at it.
I really don't think that's quite right.
- Hey Vanessa, maybe we
should get out of here?
I mean, there is two right over there.
You know what they say when
there's some, there's more!
- I second that.
- All right, hold your horses.
Let's go.
- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Help me!
(screaming)
- [Kat] Oh my god!
Oh my god!
(dramatic music)
Oh my god!
(screaming)
- You guys, you guys, you gotta help me.
(screaming)
- We gotta go.
- Get outta here!
- [Vanessa] They're getting away.
(dramatic music)
(gunshots firing)
- Somebody.
(panting)
- We gotta get rid of you.
- No, no, no, no!
No, no.
- Yep.
- Kat, no, Kat!
No, no, no.
I, I, I don't want to die.
No, please.
- Sunny, Sunny, Sunny, baby!
- Please Kat, please, please!
- Angel, Angel.
- Please, no!
- It's the only way.
- No, no!
- You know it is.
- No, no, no, no, Kat.
No, no, please, please, please.
Please, please, please, please, Kat.
No, no, I'll be fine.
- Just remember to praise
Jesus on your way out.
(Kat laughs maniacally)
Repent for your sins!
Repent!
- They're getting the fuck away.
We gotta go!
- Okay.
- We're leaving.
- [Carmel] We gotta go, we gotta go.
(laughing maniacally)
- Where you going?
(breathing heavily)
I said, where y'all going?
This is our time!
The Lord has come down.
Salvation is here, y'all!
Brothers and sisters, can you hear me?
I know I'm not the only one ready to pay.
(zombie growling)
- I promise, I would never do that to you.
Come on.
You know, I knew they were fucking dumb,
but to bring us to the
freakin' woods of the dead.
What the fuck were they thinking?
Jesus Christ, fucking nuts.
- The rapture is here!
He's coming for us.
- What's with her?
I mean, how fast can
a rotting corpse move?
- I don't know!
- Not far, Carmel, not far.
- I don't know!
This really seems like a bad idea.
I mean, maybe we should
just let them go for now.
- No, so they can get away for good?
No!
(Carmel sobbing)
- I, I, I mean, we should let them go.
- [Vanessa] Why?
- We told them that they could go,
so that's like, as good
as leaving right now.
- No, they didn't go!
She didn't leave when he told her to.
So, you know what?
You just gotta get with the program.
We're gonna make them leave.
- I'm, I'm with the program,
I'm just saying that,
that there are alternatives.
- Like what?
Her going to Detective Feight?
(Carmel stammering)
- Watch out!
(screaming)
There's another one!
(dramatic music)
(zombie moans)
- Good job, let's go.
(screaming)
- Well, this is a mess, that's for sure.
- Oh my god!
Bless you, child.
(breathing heavily)
Oh, another one!
Repent.
(laughing)
- We're gonna have to pass here.
Let me go first.
(water splashing)
(zombie growls)
(Joyce yells)
Hold him down, Robin!
Hold him down!
Son of a bitch!
(splattering)
(panting)
Go.
(Robin grunts)
This is fucking ridiculous.
- Did you hear that?
- What is it?
More of them?
- I thought I heard him
running, that freak's husband.
He's gotta be out here.
Did she like, teach him
to do that grunting thing?
- Vanessa, who cares about that right now?
If we don't get out of
here, we're going to die!
- We're gonna die if we don't
keep our eyes wide open.
We're here to do this, and
we're gonna get it done.
- I, I don't know why I
let you talk me into this.
You know, I could be at home right now.
I could be on my couch.
I could be drinking a nice glass of wine,
maybe an entire bottle, but no!
I let you talk me into this shit.
- You can drink wine anytime you want.
We need to get this shit done
before they ruin our entire neighborhood.
(Carmel sighs)
- I don't, I still don't know
why you let me talk you into this.
You know, we could've just let them go.
- No, that's where you're wrong!
We can't just let them go.
- [Carmel] Wrong?
I don't think so.
Why is it our responsibility
to take care of this?
- Because it is.
We have a job we need to do,
and if nobody else is
gonna do it, we need to.
(zombie growling)
(Carmel screaming)
- No, no, I can't, I
can't get a shot, Carmel!
(Carmel screaming)
Now, come on, you can do it!
(zombie growling)
(zombie moaning)
(screaming)
- [Carmel] Stay down!
- Wow Carmel,
looks like you got this
under control yourself.
- Stay down!
(breathing heavily)
Ugh!
(sighs)
- Damn, that was pretty epic.
(suspenseful music)
(knocking)
- Be careful.
Right there.
We need to take a break.
Sit.
I'm fuckin' tired.
Yes, I'm tired!
(Robin grunts)
Well yeah, you would be tired
too if you weren't half dead.
I'm fucking tired.
I'm tired of them tying us up.
I'm tired of them telling us
what we're supposed to do,
who we're supposed to be,
who we're supposed to love.
Fuck this!
They have no idea who they fucked with.
They're just some fucking
cum guzzling saint monsters.
They have no idea.
No judgments!
I can say what I want.
Don't give me that look.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(zombie growling)
Fuck, fuck!
Fuck, Robin, move!
(panting)
(hammer thudding)
Fuck!
(suspenseful music)
- That freak isn't gonna last much longer.
If I have to kill him myself.
- Just forget about
it, it's gonna be okay.
She's not gonna bother us anymore.
- Yeah, that's what you think.
I know she's got a plan.
- If we just leave her alone,
she'll just leave us alone too, right?
- No, no, no.
That's not the way it works.
- There's like, cops and
like the National Guard,
or like the Army or something.
They can take care of this
kinda situation, not us!
(Joyce coughs)
- In the name of our lord
savior, Jesus Christ,
that is far enough!
Joyce, baby girl, this has got to end!
(breathing heavily)
(Robin grunts)
- Yeah, no shit!
(laughing)
- You're just delaying the inevitable.
The sooner you realize that,
the better off you'll be!
- Is that right?
Is that your personal opinion?
(laughing loudly)
- I am offended!
I would not lie to you, darling.
It's the truth, it will set you free!
(suspenseful music)
- I don't think that's the case.
I think you're so cooped
up in your own thoughts,
you've literally lost your fucking mind!
(Kat laughing)
(grunting)
(screaming)
- [Kat] Fuck me sideways!
(screaming)
Oh God!
(suspenseful music)
(zombies growling)
(hammer thudding)
(splattering)
(dramatic music)
(gunshot fires)
(zombie growls)
- What is it with you things?
(gunshot fires)
(gunshot fires)
(footsteps crunching)
- This is crazy.
- Let her find me.
They've got to be out here somewhere.
- Why, why did you drag me into this?
Oh my god!
(gunshots firing)
Ah!
Oh, I can't.
- [Vanessa] You got it.
- [Carmel] Oh, this is
not what I signed up for.
- [Vanessa] They've gotta
be around here somewhere.
- [Carmel] Can we just go home?
- I know that they're over here.
- Oh, oh my god!
It's a family.
- There's so many little kids.
(gunshots firing)
- Oh my god.
(gunshot fires)
- Let's go, we gotta go.
Let's get out of here right now!
- I don't want to do this.
- We need to leave.
- Oh, oh my god.
- Come on!
- [Carmel] Oh my god!
Oh my god, oh my god.
- Well, well, well, who do we have here?
Guess this is the end of
the road for you, bitch.
(Robin growling)
(Carmel whimpering)
You better watch it.
(Robin grunts)
What the fuck?
No, get back!
(screaming)
- Oh my god, I gotta go!
I gotta, gotta go!
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
- Fuck off!
(hammer thudding)
(groaning)
(coughing)
- Hey, you, you, you!
You, you need to help me!
You need to help me, you need to help me!
- [Detective Feight] Calm down, calm down.
What's going on?
- My friend Vanessa, (stammering)
the one that called you,
she, she, she--
- [Detective Feight]
Okay, okay, I know her.
I know her.
- Her and Joyce, they're going at it.
(stammering)
And she's trying to kill, kill her,
and Robin, her zombie husband.
- [Detective Feight] All
right, all right, all right.
Take it easy, take it easy.
- Come, come, come, okay!
(dramatic music)
- [Vanessa] Oh fuck!
(coughing)
You stupid bitch, ugh!
(grunting)
(punches thudding)
(shouting)
Fuck!
(screaming)
Stupid bitch.
(Joyce choking)
(coughing)
(gunshot fires)
(panting)
- Oh my god.
(Joyce coughs)
(Robin grunts)
- [Joyce] Robin!
- It seems I was misled.
- You think?
- My apologies for before.
- At least you shot the right bitch.
- With all this commotion,
I think we better get out of here.
It seems to bring 'em out
and draw 'em out here.
So, when's the last time he ate?
- Awhile actually.
(Robin growling)
- Oh, he does eat people.
- So, how long does he usually take?
- Just a few minutes.
(sighs)
- I can't deal with this.
I so need a vacation.
(breathing heavily)
Well, I think we better go.
- Come on.
(spooky playful music)
(ominous playful music)
- Stay here.
(light music)
It's okay.
We'll be together soon.
(Robin grunts)
(light music)
(sighs)
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what I was even thinking.
I love you so much.
Okay, okay.
Don't, don't, don't!
Ow, ow!
(screaming loudly)
(gurgling)
(coughing)
(sputtering)
(bubbling)
(Robin growls)
(ominous music)
(playful music)
Ah.
(romantic music)
(doorbell rings)
(both grunt)
- Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
I just want to know if you want
to share the love of
Jesus Christ with y'all.
Anybody home?
What in the heck?
Hello?
I hope I didn't disturb you, I wanted...