Tom and Jerry: Cowboy Up! (2022) Movie Script

(laughing hysterically)
(adventurous Western music playing)
(bell tolling)
(Duke) Well, sir, I reckon
we got us a fine town here.
A fine town!
Friendly, peaceful-like.
Good folks, just going about their lives
doing the best they can.
Yep, wide open spaces
where you can dig
a nice deep burrow
for your family to live in.
Plenty of tumbleweeds
and insects to feed your babies.
But there is a danger
that threatens our very way of life.
(horse neighs)
(cowboy in muffled tone)
I... hate... prairie dogs.
What's all the commotion, Duke?
Caught us a predator, Ma!
Get his stuff!
(all yelling) Yay!
("Six Feet Under" playing)
Welcome to this Western town
There's more to see
if you're looking down
Just beneath the surface while you wait
Beneath that land so serene
Is a Wild West seldom seen
Where prairie dogs in numbers congregate
Just step right up to the old dirt mound
And hop on down to the underground
A tunnel's-length away
is where we're set
When you break on through
to the other side
It's a Broadway Baby
where the streets are wide
It's a visit you're not likely to forget
Six feet under
It's a world of wonder
We don't mean Boot Hill
where the cowboys rest
Down here ain't no steer or horse
Just us prairie dogs, of course
We're the best durned town
in all the West!
There's a one-room school
and a big hotel
An undertaker and a wishing well
A general store that's right there
on the street
So drop on down to our new town hall
There might be a wedding
or even a brawl!
Our hospitality just can't be beat
Up above we take care
We're gonna hide if we see you stare
Down here we whoop it up
to beat the band
There's music here and fun and vittles
Where youngs and olds
and bigs and littles
Do the best durned line dance
in the land
Let's slow this down
We're getting ahead
Up above where the light is shed
There's a cat and a mouse
who always make us smile
So attend this tale as we wait below
We know you'll enjoy this great big show
Sit back, honey,
kick off your boots and stay awhile
Six feet under
It's a world of wonder
We don't mean Boot Hill
where the cowboys rest
Down here ain't no steer or horse
Just us prairie dogs, of course
We're the best durned town
in all the West
Way down yonder
On any scale it's a whale of a tale
Don't take no time to ponder
Bet your dollar It's a hoot and a holler
We're the best durned town
in all the West
We're the best
In the West
- We best begin
- So let's dig in
(cattle mooing)
Aye, not the corral again!
Always something around here
that's falling off or caving in
or got broke or won't work or... (sighs)
Aye, cut it out, you two.
Let's get some breakfast.
Morning, Bumpy.
Morning, everybody.
Wait, where are the boys?
Oh, great. Something else to fix.
You know the whole gol' durned
ranch is nearly busted, Betty.
Why, if I hadn't promised your granddad
that I'd always be here for ya,
I'd have hit the trail long ago.
(Betty) And what did Gramps
always tell you?
(sighs) "Don't sit
on that rattlesnake, Bumpy!"
"Don't drink water
from the creek, Bumpy"?
Not that.
Oh, you mean,
"Good times or bad times,
we always look after each other."
That's right.
Because we're all...
(all) Family!
It's a simple task, Clem.
If you can't manage it...
Sorry, Mr. Critchley!
How many scarecrows so far?
(horse whinnies)
Thank you, Diablo.
Maybe I should pay Diablo to work for me
instead of you, Clem.
What do you think?
Sorry, Mr. Critchley.
I just don't get why we're planting
scarecrows way out here.
To scare the prairie dogs.
I hate prairie dogs.
But why do you want to scare 'em off
a bunch of land
you don't never use?
(sighs) Diablo, help me out.
I own land
here, here, here, here, here,
here, here, here and here.
I own everything.
Except for this.
Betty Benson's place.
Yes, Betty Benson's place.
I'm not going to scare
prairie dogs off my land.
I'm going to scare them onto her land!
She'll be ruined,
she'll have to sell to me.
And I'll be the most
powerful man in the state.
(chuckles) Beats the old days
of robbing banks, huh, boss?
(gasps) Please!
I'm a businessman now.
I know.
And that's why I tore this down
as soon as I saw it.
(wind blowing)
It's the brother. Bentley.
(Clem) The one who moved away?
They say he went to the city
and made a fortune with the railroad!
(gasps) Bentley, you've come home!
Hello, sis.
- "Sis"?
- You mean...
We have a brother!
Well, look at Mr. Railroad Tycoon!
We knew you'd come back
and save the old Double UB!
Oh, well, no...
How rich are you exactly?
- If I could just--
- Gonna buy us a new barn, I bet.
- What I'm trying to--
- Is this all you have brought?
- I'm not...
- Gee,
I thought you'd have a fancier rig!
Let me... You see, I...
I'm not a tycoon!
But, Bentley, your letters...
All those business deals
you told us about.
And your promotions.
I may have... exaggerated a few details.
Just a little. (chuckles)
I guess I wanted to impress you.
So, you're sayin'
you're not the Chairman
of the Consolidated Intercontinental
Trans-American Locomotive
and Rail Consortium?
Not yet. But I am the Junior
Regional Assistant Associate trainee.
And I've got a bright future
ahead of me!
As what?
As the Senior Regional
Assistant Associate trainee.
I know it doesn't sound like much,
but I'm on my way up.
I figure if I helped you
fix up the ranch,
we could sell it.
Then, you and Betty can come
and live in the city with me!
Tell you what, Bent.
You help us fix the place up.
If I can't make it work, we'll sell.
But if I can,
we keep the ranch
and split the profits. Deal?
Oh, deal.
If we all pull together,
in a month or two,
we'll be ready to drive
the herd to Abilene!
Uh, you want me to go
on a cattle drive? Me?
Ah, just a short one...
614 miles is all.
Unless you get caught in a stampede,
or washed away in a flood.
Come on inside, Bentley.
Let's get you something to eat.
Then we'll talk business.
What are we waiting for, Uncle Jerry?
Let's go introduce ourselves.
Wait a minute.
Where are the--
I was saying, where...
the little fellas!
Where are the little fellas?
(chuckles) Dig in!
Why thank you!
Boys, where are your manners?
We have guests!
What's wrong?
Did you sit on a rattlesnake?
(glass breaking)
A fear of mice.
Or shews. Or ferrets,
hamsters, hedgehogs, squirrels,
chipmunks, gerbils, muskrats--
- Sorry.
- Which is why
I go nowhere without my trusty Tom.
He's tough as they come.
Oh, sure, I could see that plain as day.
Hmm, and I can see that my first task
is to rid the ranch
of this horrible mouse infestation.
"Mouse infestation"?
You mean that? In there?
(chuckles) You can stop worrying, Betty.
City cats fight giant rats just for fun!
Once Tom's on the job,
your little mice don't stand a chance.
(evil laugh)
(Tuffy) That smell? It's...
(Scruffy) Very familiar, isn't it?
(Duffy) Let me think. Oh, I know.
(all at once) Breakfast!
- Yah!
- (horse whinnies)
(chickens cluck)
(all laughing)
(chickens clucking)
Don't worry, he's perfectly tame!
Maybe not that tame.
Show him who's boss!
Uh, reward him with a treat!
Hit him with a rolled up newspaper!
(Duffy) Dress him up
in a darling little outfit!
(Tom screams)
(Tuffy) It's nice to see them
playing together.
(all) Aw!
This might be a good time to address
the commonly held belief
that bulls hate the color red.
Actually, they're indifferent to colors.
That's certainly news to me.
No, bulls don't hate red capes.
They hate moving capes.
Why is he thanking us?
He's just a little over-excited.
How many fingers do I have up?
What day is it today?
I don't think he understands about us.
Let me explain.
You came here with Bentley.
We live here with Betty!
Betty is Bentley's sister.
So that means that...
You are our brother!
Who's president of the United States?
What's your mother's maiden name?
Uh... get some ice on that!
I'm your brother, Tuffy.
This is your brother, Scruffy.
Your brother, Duffy.
And this is Uncle Jerry.
And from now on, we're the guys
who are gonna make you look
like a hero in front of Bentley!
You're going to be the best mouse hunter
in the West!
- Cunning!
- Ruthless!
We're all gonna pretend, see?
(all laughing)
We're gonna make it look like
you solved
(imitating Bentley) the
"horrible mouse infestation."
And you are going to make sure
your brothers stay safe.
Got it?
(Jerry skidding halt)
("Cowboy Up" playing)
Lots of fellers out there,
they want to be cowboys
From the Pecos on up to Illinois
Have to dust off all that city
Get to the nitty gritty
So all you little pups
Cowboy up!
- You gotta cowboy up
- Yee haw!
- Do what the cowboys do
- Yippee yi yo
- You need a big hat
- Whoop whoo
- And a good horse too
- Giddy up, giddy up
- You gotta ride that trail
- Yippee yi yippee yay
- You gotta buck that bail
- Yippee yi yippee yay
You gotta cowboy up
Gotta cowboy, gotta cowboy!
(all laughing)
Now don't forget your saddle
and matches for the campfire
Some beans and bacon
And a rope are all required
A tin you need to pan for gold
A bed that you can fold
Some saddle bags a dusty rag
A deck of cards a pound of lard
Some silver spurs
(all laughing)
Whoa! Hold on there, little doggies.
Now, where was I?
- You gotta cowboy up
- Yee haw!
- Like the cowboys do
- Yippee yi yo
- You need a big belt buckle
- Whoop whoo
- And spurs to boot
- Giddy up, giddy up
- You gotta wear them boots
- Yippee yi yo
- Need a gun that shoots
- Yippee yi yo
- You gotta look that part
- Whoop whoo
You gotta cowboy up
Come on now!
(music continues)
We've saved the ranch
Mended the fence
Plowed the fields
Used good horse sense
So here's to John Wayne and Gary Cooper
And to the cowboys of the future
So take your guitar
and strum them strings
'Cause this is what the cowboy sings
- You gotta cowboy up
- Yee haw!
- Like the cowboys do
- Yippee yi yo
- You need a big bandana
- Whoop whoo
And a gold spittoon
- You gotta rope that steer
- Yippee yi yippee yay
- You gotta have no fear
- Yippee yi yippee yay
The work don't stop
You gotta cowboy up
- You gotta rope that steer
- Yippee yi yippee yay
- You gotta have no fear
- Yippee yi yippee yay
The work don't stop
Back down in that hole, boys.
You gotta cowboy up
- Howdy, Loretta.
- Howdy, Duke.
Well, will you listen to that.
(continues babbling)
Oh, it's just baby talk. (chuckles)
Oh, you mark my words.
That little feller's gonna be
yippin' in no time.
Well, how bad is it?
Bad, Duke.
And I've planned prairie dog towns
all over the West.
We've got predators threatening
from the North, the East, and the South.
(intense music playing)
(panicking) Look at 'em, out there.
Horrible things.
I spied one once before,
in a cornfield in Kansas.
Oh, uh, me too.
Seen one amongst some string beans
near the city of Ogallala.
Oh, I've seen 'em too.
- But this is different.
- How's that, Jane?
- They're organized.
- Sheriff,
I reckon you're the wisest,
bravest, most cool-headed of us all.
What do you think we ought to do?
Big Tim, George, Zeb!
You three run out there
and see what they want. Go!
(all) Us?
What about you?
(sighs) Okay, I'm going to be
honest with you.
It don't look good.
Sheriff's run off.
And there's something going on
that I don't understand.
But what I do know is this...
We're prairie dogs. And prairie dogs
look out for each other.
Ain't that so?
(all) Yip. Yip. That's right, Duke.
Every one of you here's got a family.
And those families, they need mounds,
holes and burrows
to live in and stay safe.
Zeb, how many you got
in your family now?
Well, golly, let me think.
Well, there's Mom, Dad,
Granny, of course.
Karen and Mike and their kids.
So, uh, let's see...
(murmuring incoherently)
Oh, 26,245.
And 172 more due in April.
And not all of us has got
a small family like Zeb.
We need room
for our great town to grow.
- What's your plan, Duke?
- My plan?
If we can't go that way,
then we go that way.
(inspiring music playing)
You heard Duke. Those tunnels
aren't gonna dig themselves, boys.
(excitedly) Let's burrow.
(sighs contentedly) You don't get
sunsets like this back in the city.
Uh, nope. I kind of forgot
how beautiful they are.
Just think, Bentley.
A month ago, you were ready
to sell this place.
Well, a month ago,
I never would've believed
the Double UB could
look this good again.
Almost like back when we were kids.
With Gramps.
Ooh, your Grandpa loved this ranch.
He got offers on it
over the years, you know.
Always turned them down, though.
Said it was meant for you two.
A place for you two
raise your own families.
(mellow music playing)
(fireflies buzzing)
(mellow music continues)
(pleasant music playing)
(music intensifies)
(music increases in tempo)
(smacks hard)
(slams hard)
(comical music playing)
Will you look at that.
- That reminds me of the fireworks!
- The fireworks!
- (Bentley) Every holiday.
- (Betty) Every birthday.
And don't forget cattle drives,
starting and finishing.
Gramps always set off fireworks
and fired the cannon to celebrate.
"Gotta get things started
with a bang," he always said.
Let's do it!
(Bumpy) Hey, slow down.
Slow down.
Our work's not done yet.
There's 200 head of cattle over there.
They're going to bring in enough money
to keep the Double UB going.
But we've got to get them
to market first.
You're right.
Work now, celebrate later.
Now, hold on.
Didn't I just say your Grandpa
set off fireworks
before and after every cattle drive?
Well, (chuckling) this is before,
but only one.
Bentley and me are gonna be up
early tomorrow morning.
- Uh, we are?
- Yes.
Before I ride with a city feller
on a cattle drive,
I wanna make good and sure
he knows his way around a horse.
- (thud)
- (screams)
(hissing continues)
(firecrackers bursting)
(bursting continues)
- (trembling)
- (snorting impatiently)
(neighs loudly)
This one's called Stomper.
He's going to be your horse.
(snorts unhappily)
- Stomper?
- Yes, sir.
We got ourselves a long ride to Abilene.
And I wanna make sure
you've got a horse
that won't give any trouble.
- But... Stomper?
- Give him a carrot.
He loves carrots.
(fakes loud biting sound)
Oh, what about that one?
Uh, no, you don't want to
ride Clementine.
I do. I do want to ride Clementine.
(hesitates) Look here, son. I...
No more talking about it.
I've made my decision.
(mellow music playing)
Sure you still remember
how to ride, city boy?
If you want, I can still
get Stomper for you.
Oh, go ahead, you two.
Joke all you want.
But Clementine and me
are gonna get along just fine.
Well, then, I've got
one piece of advice. Whatever you do...
Come on, girl.
(angry neighing)
Don't call her "girl."
(Bentley screaming)
Don't let go, Bentley.
Oh, you think?
(loud crunch)
You try to be helpful, but some folks
just don't want to listen.
(Bentley screaming)
Once that cat gets hold of something,
he does not let go.
Sound the alarm.
(all) Yip. Yip. Yip.
(skids halt)
Bentley, are you all right?
- Is Tom all right?
- Yes.
Yes. I was just, uh, testing
my finally-honed equestrian skills
to, um, see what the horse had in her.
We're... we're fine, right, Tom?
Lovely ride. (chuckles nervously)
(suspenseful music playing)
(Bentley gasps)
Mice, Tom. Mice.
And all this time, I thought
you had the problem under control.
But, no. While you slept,
they invaded. Dangerous packs of mice,
digging holes,
living right beneath our feet.
I'm telling you, Bent,
those weren't mice.
They were just
some prairie dogs, is all.
Oh, Bentley's afraid of those too.
Also rats, shrews, ferrets,
hamsters, hedgehogs, squirrels,
- chipmunks, gerbils, muskrats...
- Betty!
Sorry, I always do that.
Come on, boys.
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
(voice) Yip?
(all shrieking)
- Yip.
- (voice) Yip. Yip Yip.
(intense music playing)
(suspenseful music playing)
Shout if you need help, Uncle Jerry.
We've got to get him out of there.
- Uncle Jerry?
- Follow the sound of my voice.
Oh, when this is over,
we're gonna do better, Uncle Jerry.
Yeah. No more sleeping in.
We'll be up before sunrise.
We'll do all the chores.
We're going to make
something of ourselves.
(Jerry laughing)
(all) Uncle Jerry, you're okay.
Bentley, is this really necessary?
Hah! You weren't
down in that pit, Betty.
You didn't see those creatures.
- I'm sure it was very unpleasant, but...
- They have glowing red eyes.
Teeth like razors.
Don't you think you're overreacting?
Just a little?
A teensy-weensy bit?
Overreacting, huh?
(chuckles sarcastically)
I've read firsthand accounts of settlers
who were attacked
by crazed grizzly bears.
Pursued by wolves across frozen lakes.
Hunted down by wildcats.
- This was worse.
- Of course.
Why would I ever think
you were overreacting?
I was lucky to survive it.
That's all I'm saying.
I'll ask Bumpy
to ride into town tomorrow
and have the newspaper run this
in their next edition.
(upbeat music playing)
What the...
I'm here to see the boss.
(snorts in disagreement)
Well, no, I don't have an appointment.
Hah! Think you're pretty smart,
don't you?
Two plus two equals four.
Big deal.
Three plus nine?
Easy, 12.
(impatient thumping)
(Clem) Wait, 14 times 23? Uh... Okay.
Hold on, now. Don't tell me.
I was gonna say 322,
if you'd ever give me a chance.
(door slams)
Stupid horse.
What is it, Clem?
The Bensons' hired hand
dropped this off at the newspaper office
this morning, boss.
- (grunts)
- It's an advertisement.
Yes, Clem, I can see that.
Look, would you mind
standing a little...
Sure, boss.
Maybe just a little... One more.
Just a little farther.
Keep going. Keep going.
Nearly there.
(Clem) How's this, boss?
Perfect. Now, about this advertisement.
"Motivated, aggressive cats wanted
for immediate work at the Benson Ranch.
Must hate mice.
Direct inquiries to Bentley Benson."
You know what this means?
- Clem!
- (Clem) Oh, sorry, boss.
No. What does it mean?
It means my scheme
to drive those prairie dogs
onto the Benson property worked.
(Clem) Nobody grabs land unscrupulously
better than you, Mr. Critchley.
"Unscrupulous" oughta be
your middle name.
It's nice of you to say that, Clem.
You may come back in now.
- What's our plan?
- Plan? We deliver the final blow.
I want you to go to the Benson place,
find the deed to the ranch
and destroy it.
I'll produce this phony deed,
claim that the land is mine,
and have Betty Benson
and her brother kicked off it for good.
With all due respect, Mr. Critchley,
there's no way those folks
are gonna let me anywheres
near their place.
Oh, they will. In fact,
they'll welcome you with open arms.
Now, I want you to round up
the meanest, nastiest,
most mouse-hating cats you can find.
I heard, you have
a rodent infestation problem.
(suspicious tune plays)
No rodent escapes the terrible fate
these here cats deliver.
(suspenseful music playing)
(Tom gulps)
This one here is Butch.
Here's the brains of the outfit.
Uh, no, wait.
This ones the brains. Meathead.
(exclaims blankly)
Maybe none of 'em is the brains.
Hold on.
Okay. Yeah.
This one's Lightnin',
because he's faster than lightning.
I think, 99% sure.
Don't quote me on it, though.
You get the idea. Butch,
Lightnin', Meathead and Shorty.
They're gonna take care
of your mouse problem.
They weren't mice.
They were just some
little prairie dogs, is all.
(both shuddering) I hate prairie dogs.
(western tune plays)
So, Butch and Meathead.
Yeah. They look tough, all right.
They are. They used to hunt,
uh, b... buffaloes.
Yeah, full-sized buffaloes,
out on the plains.
Oh, you don't say.
Here we go.
And... and Lightnin'?
You said he's quick?
Is he quick? Watch.
Lightnin', get the mouse.
Huh! Did you see that?
He got one already.
Oh, he left it out on the field,
so it wouldn't upset the lady.
Aww, and you must be Shorty.
- (loud crunch)
- (Tom screams in pain)
Bentley, please.
This is too much.
- My sister is right.
- (thud)
You don't get as far as I have
in the cut-throat world of the railroads
without developing
a keen eye for people.
And I can tell you're
a trustworthy sort, Mr., uh...
- What did you say your name was?
- Me?
My name, uh, is, uh...
Sunflower Muleytoad.
It's Dutch. And Scottish.
Well, then, Sunflower,
you're a trustworthy man,
I can see that.
But I need to know
that your cats can do this job.
So, I've set up a little test.
Here's how it works.
I will set loose these mice.
Mr. Muleytoad's cats will pursue them
around the obstacles.
If any mouse is able
to reach the cheese,
then I'm afraid,
there's no deal.
Fair enough.
On your marks.
Get set!
Butch, Meathead. Go get 'em.
(intense music playing)
- (foghorn)
- (thuds)
(intense music continues)
(whirring continues)
- (filing)
- Shorty, you're up.
(intense music playing)
(music increases in tempo)
(upbeat music playing)
(punches landing)
Wow. Did you see that?
These cats are the real thing.
It's not over yet, Bentley. Look.
Lightnin', let's finish this.
(bones crack)
(dramatic music playing)
You're hired. You can bunk out
in the barn and start tomorrow.
(romantic music playing)
(dramatic music playing)
(whimsical music playing)
(praying indistinctly)
(joyful music playing)
(door creaks)
(laughs) They should have never
fooled with us. Right, uncle Jerry?
(Clem) Got you.
There's your culprits, Mr. Benson.
Oh, they look vicious.
Oh, they are. Probably rabid too.
Bentley, they're just mice.
Harmless mice.
Begging your pardon, ma'am,
but I've seen so-called
"harmless critters"
just like these here,
lay whole towns to waste.
Ever heard of the bustling metropolis
of Grand Mesa, Oklahoma?
- No, I can't say that I have.
- My point exactly.
Well, then, thank goodness
you showed up here to help us out.
Tell me what we owe you
and you can be on your way.
Oh, I can't take your money,
because the job ain't done.
- It's not?
- No, sir. For every mouse you see,
there's two or three thousand
more hiding all around you.
That's where they got the expression,
"the tip of the miceberg."
Me and the cats, we got
lots more work to do here.
Hmm. We'll be on the trail for weeks,
getting the cattle dabbling, Betty.
We could have Sunflower stay here
and keep an eye on the ranch
while we're gone.
Oh, I mean, sure. I'm your man.
I'll go take care of these ones.
Uh, what do you mean,
"take care of them"?
Absolutely not!
What came over you in the city, Bentley?
Don't you remember what
Gramps always told us?
Out here, there's room enough
for everyone to find a home.
I'll take them far away from the ranch.
But we're letting them go.
I packed up a few things.
Your tools, some clothes,
and biscuits, of course.
I'm so sorry, boys.
My brother...
Well, he'll come around.
I know it.
In the meantime,
just stay close and stay safe.
If you get into trouble, you make
for one of them prairie dog holes.
Ain't no place safer.
We'll get you back home. I promise.
I'd sing you all some cowboy
songs if I had a guitar,
and I knew how to play.
- Or sing.
- What cowboy songs do you know?
Okay, if I knew any cowboy songs,
then I would sing them.
You know, it's almost as entertaining,
just hearing you explain.
(gasps) What was that?
(eerie music playing)
(mice screaming)
(yelling) Run!
(Tuffy) Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
We're perfectly safe.
There's no way that thing can hurt us,
with that cage on his head.
You're right.
Look at you.
You're feeling pretty embarrassed
right now, aren't ya?
(all screaming)
(growls and barks)
Settle down, everybody. Settle down.
After many hours of studying
the mysterious object
before you, we have discovered...
it is food!
Mm. It's got a metallic flavor to it.
Most likely it's an acquired taste.
That... The food is on the inside.
By golly, where's your common sense?
The problem is, how do
we open the durned thing?
Let Big Tim do it.
(indistinct chatter)
(chewing rapidly)
(all gasping)
(all gasping)
Who are you?
What are you doing down here?
(triumphant music playing)
It's... good!
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
This here's my wife,
and this is my daughter.
Well, hello!
- (giggles)
- (Duke) Hey, y'all!
Is everybody having a good time?
(chattering) Yip, yip, yip...
Well, we got these fellers
to thank for that. (chuckles)
Now, let's talk about our town,
the place we call home.
It's always been a peaceful place,
but lately,
we've been missing something...
A proper sheriff.
Well, tonight, I think we found one!
- I call for a vote!
- I second the motion.
All right, then.
All those in favor of making this here
friend of the prairie dog community
our new sheriff, say yeah!
(all cheering) Yip! Yip!
The "yips" have it.
We got ourselves a new sheriff!
Welcome to your new home.
("You're Movin' In With Us" playing)
Hey there, friend
Won't you come in?
Don't you know I like your style?
You're family now
Welcome to our underground
To our underground
Take off your boots
Make yourself at home
Our house is your house too
What's mine is yours
And now we open up our doors
Pack up your bags
Don't make a fuss
Follow us down here
You're moving in with us
You're moving in with us
Walked into town
Straight out of the blue
Welcome to the team
We're glad we found friends like you
We got a lotta work to do
(all laughing)
Pack up your bags
Don't make a fuss
And follow us down here
Your moving in with us
Your moving in with us
We'll get new curtains
A new chandelier
Won't take no time
It's a new frontier
Your search has ended
Come stake your claim
It's ranch house envy
Calling your name
So grab your duds
No time to squander
It's cozy darn tootin'
A way down yonder
One short step from up above
Warm hearts and hands
You'll feel the love
Home, home on the range
Where the mice
and the prairie dogs play
So pack up your bags
Don't make a fuss
And join the family here
You're moving in with us
You're moving in with us
(all cheering)
I feel good knowing
that while we're on the cattle drive,
we're leaving the Double UB
under the watchful eye of Mr. Muleytoad.
Oh, yes, sir.
You folks go sell your cattle.
I promise, when you get back,
you won't have a ranch
to worry about no more.
Pardon me?
That is, you won't have to
worry about the ranch no more.
Well, then, we've got a long,
rough trail ahead of us.
But I reckon we're about
as ready as we'll ever be.
Let's get these critters to Abilene!
(all cheering)
(adventurous music playing)
(music stops)
Did anybody let the cows
out of the corral?
Ah. Wait here.
(triumphant music playing)
Well, that was weird.
Let's find that deed.
Hold on, everybody.
Tom found it.
This is a letter from great aunt Millie.
This is a shopping list.
Bill for lumber, bills,
letter from Uncle Steve...
That's enough! Boys, throw him out!
(punches landing)
(screams) Ow!
(Clem groans) Oh! No deed.
I can't understand it.
Not like a jackalope came in here
and took it or something.
Don't tell me.
You never heard of a jackalope?
No one knows where it came from,
and few who've seen it
have lived to tell the tale.
It takes the form of a jackrabbit.
This tall,
with antelope horns
and rattlesnake teeth.
And they say that
on nights like these,
when the moon is full,
the jackalope appears,
moving across the prairie
with a single purpose,
to hunt down its favorite prey...
(all screech)
It's a harmless prairie chicken,
I tell you. Look!
- Here's his beak.
- Now, son, that ain't a beak.
It's fangs.
This fella's a sidewinder.
Whoever heard of a snake with arms?
Well, whoever heard
of a chicken with teeth?
Pa, Curly, stop your bickering.
The sheriff will know
what to do with him.
Good thinking, hon.
Sheriff, we got something here
you and the deputies ought to see.
It's a sidewinder.
It's a prairie chicken.
(all) It's our brother!
Why aren't you back at the ranch?
Are Betty and Bentley with you?
What happened?
Muleytoad's up to
something bad, Uncle Jerry.
Oh, yeah. Just wait till
Betty and Bentley and Bumpy get back.
Then he'll be sorry.
That'll be too late.
Our family needs us now!
But what can we do?
Those cats are stronger than us.
Faster than us.
Meaner than us.
We need a plan.
(laughing) There you are.
She's a-looking for you, you know.
Who is, old timer?
Well, old Sally and me,
we was diggin' over yonder that way.
And I says to Sally,
"Sally, maybe we should ought
to dig over that way
and see what we find there." (laughing)
Yeah, course, when I was a young man,
I didn't dig so much as I do now.
Back then, yeah,
me and my wife, Ethel,
we had us a little burrow outside of it.
Wait. Who is?
- Who's what?
- Looking for us.
She is. (laughs)
Boys, I think we just got our plan.
(thunder rumbling)
Hmm. It's almost right.
- The ears aren't long enough.
- Need sharper teeth.
More antlers, I'm telling you.
More antlers.
Ah. Not bad.
(Critchley) One piece of paper, Clem.
That's all you had to do.
Find one piece of paper!
Yeah, but the deed
just ain't there, boss.
Maybe you should just, you know... Uh...
Pardon me?
- Nothing.
- No, Clem. Tell me.
Maybe I should just...
Buy the ranch from them.
- (thunderclap)
- Buy it? Buy it?
I tried to buy it
from their grandfather.
He turned down every offer.
He said no amount
of money was enough.
Do you know why?
He said it was their...
He turned down money.
What kind of a man does that?
Now get back out there
- and find that deed!
- (thunder rumbling)
There's something
strange going on here.
Who would have guessed
that a cat dressed
as a jackalope wouldn't work?
It was just one battle.
We'll figure out a way.
Uncle Jerry's right.
We need reinforcements.
Well, if we didn't have those
predators to deal with...
We'd be right there with you.
Boys, we've got work to do.
Oh, Betty and Bentley are gonna be
pretty surprised when they get home.
(Bumpy) Ah!
Did anybody remember
to get our money for the carro?
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
Okay, then, let's go home.
I tried. I really did.
You know that, right?
But the boss don't care about that,
or about me, or you.
All he cares about is more land.
More, more, more!
You guys are the best. Really.
I know I don't say it
near enough, but you are.
You know what?
I'm going to make us a nice dinner.
(all slurp)
Where did those recipes get to?
Let me see. "Biscuits, biscuits,
another biscuits."
I've never seen so many biscuit recipes.
"Rhubarb pie, meat loaf,
deed to the ranch,
pineapple jardiniere..."
(gasps) Deed to the ranch!
- (prairie dog) Yip.
- Nice work. Next.
- Yip.
- That's right.
Nothing to be afraid of. Next.
- Yip.
- So, they're not predators?
Nope. They use him to scare off crows.
Of course, they do.
Those things are terrifying.
That's what we're counting on.
What is it now?
Hah! It's scarecrows.
The boss and I put 'em out there
to scare the prairie dog--
Wait a second. I could have sworn...
Number three and number 14, move!
Numbers two, five, 11, and 22, move!
We just need to stay calm.
There's no way they can get us in here.
We're under attack!
They got Frank!
(scoffs) I owe you.
They don't know what hit 'em.
You did it. The ranch is saved.
Retreat! Retreat!
(bees buzzing)
(popping, whistling)
Wait! The deed!
Take that, you varmint!
- Whoo-hoo! We showed 'em!
- (chuckles) We sure did.
Sunflower Muleytoad.
Did anyone else think
that was an odd name?
Well, on the bright side,
you made a good profit on your carro.
Things could be a lot worse.
We can bunk out
in the barn for a while,
hire a few hands
to help us rebuild the house,
we'll be on our feet in no time.
You know, Betty, being out here
with you and Bumpy,
fixing up the old place,
thinking about Gramps,
it reminded me of something
that I almost forgot.
That "good times or bad times,
we always look out for each other"?
Because we're all family.
No. It reminded me why I left
for the city in the first place.
- What?
- Oh, nothing. You were saying?
(sighs) This morning,
I realized I'm no rancher,
I'm a railroad man,
through and through.
The steel rails,
the clackety-clack of the, uh...
No, no, the other...
The-- Oh, you know...
Ah, whatever. It's my destiny.
Okay. Come on, Tom. We have to pack.
We're leaving in the morning.
Please, Bent, don't leave.
The Double UB
should sell for a good price
once you clean things up, sis.
You can even keep the money.
I don't want the money.
I want you to stay.
We need you here.
Ah, you and Bumpy can manage.
Soon as you're ready, come to the city.
I'll have a room waiting for you.
Now, what?
There they are, Marshal.
I want them arrested immediately
- Arrested? For what?
- Squatting on my land.
It seems Mr. Critchley here has a deed
that says he owns this ranch.
Here it is, all legal and proper.
Critchley, you know darn well
this is the Bensons' land.
You tried to buy it enough times
from their granddad.
Is that true, August?
Poor man was convinced
he owned the entire state.
I offered a small sum to help relocate.
Charity, really.
- That's a lie!
- You skunk, you rattlesnake!
All right, everybody quiet!
(exhales) Now, apologies, ma'am.
Probably just a little misunderstanding.
(Diablo snorts)
Well put, Diablo.
I said, quiet.
Now, Ms. Benson,
if you could just show me your deed,
Mr. Critchley and I will be on our way.
But there was a fire last night.
Everything is gone.
So, you have no deed.
They're trespassing, Marshal.
Take them away.
- This is bad.
- (snaps fingers)
I have an idea.
We'll need a wheelbarrow, a cannon,
1,000 prairie dogs, one bull,
barbed wire, scarecrows,
a thingamabobber...
Marshal, please,
you're making a mistake.
I don't like it either,
but I've got no choice.
The law is the law.
- Critchley, I oughta...
- Did you hear that? He's threatening me.
Ma'am, I am sorry,
but unless you have evidence
to the contrary,
I have to accept Mr. Critchley's claim.
(man) What's going on here, Marshal?
Bentley, I thought you were going home.
This is my home.
Need some help, Sheriff?
Yippee yi yip!
The Prairie Dog Express
rides again!
I'm going to build a whole town here.
Critchleyville. No, no. Critchopolis.
What about your dreams, Bentley?
You wanted to be a railroad tycoon.
I was a railroad tycoon.
A Junior Regional Assistant
Associate trainee railroad tycoon.
But it never made me as happy
as I've been back here
on the Double UB with my family.
Good to have you back, son.
If you could just
give us a few days, Marshal,
I'm sure we can straighten this out.
The law is the law, Mr. Benson.
And I've got to escort you
off the property right now.
Yippee yi yip, my friend.
- (whimpers)
- Say what?
(continues whimpering)
- Bentley, what's wrong?
- You should tie him up, Marshal.
Mr. Benson, is something
the matter with you?
No, I just thought
you might be interested in this.
"Wanted for bank robbery
and forgery." August Critchley.
- Forgery?
- Let me see that.
Aha! The signature
on this deed says
"Lloyd Benson."
But Granddad's name wasn't Lloyd Benson.
It was Boyd Benson.
What? They're lying, Marshal.
I should know.
I signed that deed myself.
- Oops.
- Got ya.
You're under arrest, Critchley.
You got anything to say?
Just this. (clears throat)
Ride, Diablo, ride!
Ha, I told you.
Once that cat gets hold of something,
he does not let go.
Gramps would be so proud.
It's going to be tough going
for a while, even with the reward money.
I know. But this is home.
Hey, let me get that for you, boys.
(sighs) Going to have to
rebuild the house over that way.
This is all dug up under here.
I think you're right.
I don't know. It looks pretty solid to--
Prairie dogs.
(engine chugging, horn blowing)