tom thumb (1958) Movie Script

Once upon a time,
long before man learned to fly,
long before locomotives left
smoky streamers on the horizon,
long before all this,
somewhere farther
than man could sail,
there was a little valley.
There on the banks
of the winding stream
nestled a peaceful
little village,
and draped around this Hamlet,
stretching far and wide
over hill and Dale,
was the great forest.
Here, deep among old trees,
wet moss, and velvet shadows,
life flows peacefully along.
Or does it?
Who's playing games?
Look here, young woman!
I might have cut you in half.
No axe can harm me, Jonathan.
Honest Jonathan...
that is your name, isn't it?
Honest by name,
honest by nature.
Young woman, kindly step aside.
I've business with that tree.
And so have I.
I've come to ask you
not to cut it down.
Oh, fancy now, have you?
And may I ask what you
have to do with it?
You see, I am queen
of this forest.
Oh! And I'm
the emperor of China.
Very well, then.
Let me put it in this way.
You see...
This tree is the oldest
and fairest of them all.
It's a mighty big
oak tree that will keep
the whole village warm
right through the winter.
But who is going to
keep them warm all winter...
the little creatures
that live in its branches?
See how frightened they are?
Well, look here,
it's all very well...
spare this tree, Jonathan,
and they'll bless you,
and so shall I.
Of course, if you
put it like that...
Oh, thank you, Jonathan.
You shall not go unrewarded.
I'll grant you three wishes.
Anything I wish for?
Three times?
Of course.
Bah! I ought to have
more sense.
First, I give away
the finest tree,
and then I start talking
about three wishes.
Fairy tales, all.
Fairy tales!
Where are you?
Where have you gone?
The wishes belong
to both you and your wife.
Don't be hasty.
Yes, your majesty.
Oh, I mean, no, your majesty.
I... I beg your majesty's
pardon, I'm sure.
You may stand up now.
Oh, thank you, your majesty.
I'm afraid the tree
got a little bit chipped,
but don't worry, your majesty.
It will soon heal over.
Real soon.
Sally! Sally!
Barnabee! Sally!
Anna! Anna. Anna.
Do you know what happened today?
Good evening, Jonathan.
Good evening.
You'll never believe
what happened to me!
Not now. Dinner's all ready.
Hurry and get cleaned up.
Alright, Anna. But just
listen to me for a minute.
You know those oak trees
along by the post road
with the great big one
in the middle?
I was working there today,
when suddenly...
I saw a vision.
Yes, I know.
You don't believe me,
do you, Anna?
Sit down and say grace.
For what we're about to receive,
truly thankful. Amen.
Now then, Anna,
let me tell you.
I was chopping away
at that big oak tree,
the one I was telling you about,
when all of a sudden,
there was the most
wonderful smell of roses.
Always cabbage.
Can't we ever
eat anything else?
We can't afford anything else.
You should thank the good lord
for what he provides.
But just for once,
I wish he'd provide
a nice, big, juicy sausage.
It's here! Where did it
come from?
I told you. It's what I've been
trying to tell you all the time.
She granted us three wishes!
Who is she?
Why, the vision, of course.
The beautiful lady.
What beautiful lady?
You never saw anything
like it in your life.
One minute, she wasn't there,
and the next minute,
there she was.
Her skin was like
her hair was like
the gold of wild honey,
and she was so young...
Oh, shame on you, an old man
talking like that.
So lovely!
That sausage should grow on your
nose for saying such a thing!
The sausage!
See what you've done?
She's granted our second wish!
Now two of our wishes
are wasted.
I know what to do.
We'll simply cut it off.
No, you don't!
Alright, then, let it stay.
It doesn't look so bad.
Maybe you don't mind me
walking around
like this, but I do.
And I wish this thing was
off my nose this very instant.
You ought to be ashamed,
throwing away our last wish.
What difference does it make
to a nose as big as yours?
Mine doesn't smell
like garlic all the time.
You're tired of sausage
First you're tired of cabbage.
Now you're tired of sausage.
But, Anna, all I said was...
you wished for it, didn't you?
Once in a lifetime,
poor people like us
can ask for anything they want,
and what do you wish for?
A sausage!
We had three
perfectly good wishes
and what have we to show
for them? Tell me, what?
Nothing. That is what we have.
When we could have had
anything we wanted.
Oh, when I think of it,
I could cry.
Cabbage wasn't
good enough for you.
Of all the things we need,
you wish for a sausage.
You and your silly wishes!
I sometimes wonder
why I ever...
Jonathan... I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Ah, it's alright, Anna.
Let's forget it.
You know, Anna,
a toy without a child
is almost as sad
as a child without a toy.
Jonathan, we were so foolish.
Our dream could have come true.
There's still hope, Anna.
She might grant us
another wish...
just a little one, maybe.
It wouldn't matter to me
how little he was.
I'd love him with all my heart,
even if he were
no bigger than my thumb.
Jonathan! Jonathan!
Someone's outside.
Don't you hear?
Someone's knocking!
I can't hear anything.
Go back to sleep.
Who's there?
Is this acorn cottage?
That's right.
The home of Jonathan
the woodcutter?
Yes, but I can't see you.
Are you Jonathan?
Yes, I am, but where are you?
Then I'm in the right place.
I can hear you,
but I can't see you.
Lower your candle.
Down here.
Glory be!
Come in, lad. Come in!
Oh, thanks. I'm cold.
Ahh, that feels good, father.
You called me father?
Of course. Don't you
recognize your own son?
Oh. I think
I understand.
Tell me, were you sent
by the beautiful lady?
That's right.
Welcome, son!
Thanks, I hurried too
as fast as I could
so I could get here
on my birthday.
Who is it?
Just a minute, Anna.
Who's that?
That's your mother, son.
Come on in.
Surprise her.
We have a visitor, Anna...
a little visitor.
He's going to stay with us
as long as we live.
Oh, tom!
How did you know
my name, mother?
I've always known
what your name would be.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Heh, I am, too,
but isn't a fella
supposed to have a cake
on his birthday?
For goodness sake, of course.
You must be starving.
Jonathan, build the fire up.
I'll fix something right away.
Mug for a table,
spool for a chair,
nice and stable, room to spare.
Thimble for a cup,
button for a plate,
now we're ready to celebrate.
Happy Birthday, son.
Happy Birthday, son.
Happy Birthday, everyone!
It's getting late.
And I have to fix you
something to wear.
Come along. It's time
for little boys to be in bed.
After all these years
after all my tears
after all the lonely days
I've known
now I have a son
such a tiny one
like a little doll
but a baby all my own
now my world is bright
things have
turned out right
after all my doubts
and all my fears
you belong to me
and we'll live
after all these years
hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
hmm hmm hmm hmm
hmm hmm hmm hmm
you belong to me
and we'll live
after all these years
Goodnight, mom.
Goodnight, dad.
Which in chinaland mean
"good morning."
Oh, uh, good morning,
Mr., uh...
Allow unworthy one
to introduce
your humble servant
I'm bidding you, on behalf of
all toys in nursery,
a most glorious welcome.
Oh, thank you.
Good morning, tom.
Good morning, tom!
Good morning.
Good morning, tom.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
I didn't know toys could talk.
All very grateful to you, tom,
to bring us to life.
Grownup can't do that.
They are too smart.
You see, tom, many, many year,
this has been
a very lonely place without you,
and now that you here,
we are so happy.
We want to celebrate.
Hey, that's my song!
to de do de do
tee do de do de
do de do de do
tee do de do de
do de do de dum dum
to de do de dum dum
to de do de dum dum dum
A-LA de da
de da
de da de da de
LA de da de da
hi, tom.
LA de da de dum dum
LA de da de dum dum dum
this is my song,
my very own song
I can sing it short,
or I can sing it long
doo de doo de doo
tee doo de doo
de doo de doo de doo
tee doo de doo de
doo de doo de dum dum
too de doo de dum dum
too de doo de dum dum dum
hoop hup!
too de doo de doo
Dee doo de doo
de doo de doo de doo
de doo de doo de
doo de doo de dum dum
doo de doo de dum dum
doo de doo de dum dum dum
LA de da de da
de LA de da de
LA de da de da
de LA de da de
da de da de dum dum
da de da de dum dum
LA de da de dum dum dum
this is my song,
my very own song
I can sing it short,
or I can sing it long
doo de doo de doo
de doo de doo de
doo de doo de doo
de doo de doo de
doo de doo de dum dum
doo de doo de dum dum dum
hey there!
Hey! Hey!
Hee hee hee!
Ha ha ha!
Everybody run!
Grownup coming!
Run! Run, everybody! Hurry!
Oh, excuse me.
Please. Oh.
He's gone.
Tom! Tom,
where are you?
Here I am!
What are you doing
out of your cradle?
The sun's hardly up.
Ah, the toys are
giving me a party!
The toys gave you a party?
Well, we were
having a party. Honest.
We were singing,
and dancing, and jumping...
shh. Now,
listen, son.
Imagination's alright
in a little boy,
but don't let it go too far.
Never forget your father's name
is honest Jonathan.
Turn coming!
Which way, father?
Left today, son.
Watch me take it.
Look! No hands!
Left, Sally!
Another turn coming, father.
Left again?
Sally, left again!
this donkey seems to understand
every word you say.
I understand him, too.
What was that?
A cry from the black swamp.
What's a swamp?
An evil place, son,
where horrid birds
and animals live.
You must never go inside there.
They'd gobble up a little
lad like you in no time.
Great jumping globules of fire!
Can it be real?
It must be.
It lives and breathes.
Huh? Huh?
I have an inspiration
of unparalleled brilliance.
This little fellow
could help us with our job.
What... that little splinter?
He couldn't lift a feather.
Ah, but you forget
the old adage...
"there are more ways than one
to crack a vault."
He can wiggle
through the keyhole.
No, no.
I don't want nobody else.
I can open it
with my bare hands.
Of course you can,
of course you can,
but he can do it quieter.
Watch me strike
a bargain with the old man.
We'll play a little game.
The cards, of course,
will be marked.
Oh, ho ho ho!
Our fortune is as good as made.
Stand back, my good man.
Oh! Ha ha ha!
Your gracious pardon, sir.
My colleague and I
are showmen of prominence
on our way to the annual fair,
and we were wondering
what price you put
upon the little lad.
Price? What do you mean?
Do you want to buy him?
Oh, no, no, no.
It would be more of a loan...
a sort of loan-lease.
We'd teach him a good trade,
and we would pay you.
He will be learning,
and you'll be earning.
He's not for sale!
He's my son!
Oh, we understand.
Don't we, Antony?
Oh, yes, we do.
Who would argue
with a father's heart?
I like you.
So do I.
I like you very much.
Goodbye, little lad.
One day, your father
will be very proud of you.
I don't like the looks
of those fellows.
I thought
they were kind of nice.
Ha ha ha!
Hey, where are you?
Come on.
Hello, Woody.
Where have you been?
I've been calling for you.
I've been looking for you
all through the forest.
Oh, poor Woody.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I just secured the position
as second woodwind
in the royal military band.
I think that's wonderful.
Do you really?
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
You know, queenie,
if only there weren't
this barrier between us...
you being an immortal
and I a mere unworthy mortal.
There needn't be
a barrier, Woody.
You mean I can be
immortal, too?
The other way around.
You can become a mortal.
Well, what's stopping you?
What do you have to do?
It isn't what
I have to do. It's you.
Well, tell me.
Can't you guess?
I have to be promoted
to first woodwind
in the royal military band?
Not bandmaster.
It's much simpler than that.
Would you promise me something?
Anything in the world.
You won't ever,
under any circumstances,
Try to...
Kiss me, will you?
Oh, no!
Certainly not!
Funny how a fella
can change, you know.
There was a time when
I wouldn't have thought twice
about kissing a girl
as pretty as you.
Oh, I was a terrible fella.
Were you, Woody?
I certainly was...
kissing, kissing,
always kissing girls,
sometimes even when
they weren't looking.
Ha ha ha!
Of course, with you,
it's different, you know.
Ever since I first met you,
I've been a changed man.
You know why?
Because you were
right up there.
I was way down here.
I still am,
but I won't always be.
One day, queenie,
I'll be worthy of you.
And until then...
I'll respect you.
Thank you, Woody.
That's nice.
Hello, Woody.
Good afternoon, Jonathan.
Meet my son tom.
Pleased to meet you, young man.
Goodbye now.
What's the hurry, Woody?
Why don't you come home
and have supper with us?
You know Anna's always happy
to see you.
Thanks, Jonathan. I wish
I could, but I can't.
I'm a very busy man now.
I have to get back
to the village. I have a job.
You? Working?
So long. I'll see you
at the fair on Sunday?
Oh, I don't think you will.
Anna and I... we're too old
for things like that.
Oh, Jonathan, how can you
let this fella
miss seeing the fair?
Look, if you can't take him,
let him go with me.
I'll show him a good time.
He'll be the guest
of the second woodwind
in the royal military band.
Step up!
Step up!
Step up, my friends,
and see my shoes
I made them especially
for you to use
and I can show you
the smartest shoes
that you ever saw at a fair
step up, my friends,
and see them shine
you never saw shoes
that shine like mine
because I handle
the talented line
exactly the kind
you should wear
these shoes upon my shelf
are shoes I wear myself
these are talented shoes
talented shoes,
talented shoes
they leap and jump
and hop and skip
and every skip
is full of zip
these are talented shoes
talented shoes,
talented shoes
I'll take these.
A man is wise to choose
I'll have a pair.
Such talented,
talented shoes
I'll take these.
Right, right.
Of 7-league
you may have heard
they fly through the air
like a hummingbird
well, I would
never say a word
if mine weren't
better than those...
give us two
of the dancingest pairs.
set out to fly
they fly much faster
and twice as high
they're just the boots
you ought to buy
if you want to be
on your toes
these shoes upon my shelf
are shoes I wear myself
these are talented shoes
talented shoes,
talented shoes
they leap and jump
and hop and step
and every step
is full of pep
these are talented shoes
talented shoes,
talented shoes
a dunce cannot confuse
such talented,
talented, talented
talented, talented,
talented shoes
hey, tom, what do you think
of those dancing shoes?
The dancing shoes.
Oh, I think they're wonderful.
I think so, too.
Let's get some.
But don't you
have to stay here?
Oh, we'll be back before
it's my turn to play.
They'll never miss me
for a few minutes.
Hold on, tom.
Let's go.
I'm sorry, Woody.
All sold out.
Not even a pair for a queen?
Oh, very funny, Woody.
Ha ha ha! Very funny.
Well, how about a pair
for this little fellow?
For tom? You know,
I believe I have.
See if these fit.
Ho ho!
Look at this.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Woody, that no-good loafer...
where is he?
Where is he?
Where's Woody?
I was crazy to give him a job
in the first place.
Woody, wherever you are...
You're fired!
Better go after him, Woody.
Those are talented shoes
he's wearing.
They'll keep on dancing
as long as the music plays.
Tell them to hold the music!
Stop the music!
What now?
They say to play faster!
Faster? Gladly.
1, 2!
Have you seen tom?
No, I haven't.
Stop playing!
Have you seen tom?
My balloon's gone!
Hey, Woody!
Look at me!
Don't let go, tom!
Hang on!
It's no good, Ivan.
It won't give at all.
Finding ourselves
in the situation
in which you have placed us,
it would seem a little
coordination is necessary.
We'll use this piece of wood.
This time, our effort
shall be unified.
Now, both together
when I count 3.
You understand 3?
Yes. It comes after 2.
Good boy. Right.
1, 2...
Hey, Ivan.
Now, we must approach
this problem
from a highly scientific angle.
Sure, but...
but first, we must practice
unadulterated silence.
Hey! What are you doing?
It's the little runt!
Yes, yes.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
Think nothing of it,
young fellow.
Fate decreed I should be present
in your hour of need,
that is all.
Ivan, why can't we
use him to get...
why don't you shut up?
Young fellow,
talking about hour of need,
it would seem you dropped in
just when my companion and I
could use your assistance in
the performance of a good deed.
Oh, I'll be glad to help.
I knew it.
I knew it the first time
I laid eyes on him, see.
That's what I like about this
charming young gentleman.
He's so cooperative.
Uh, what do I have to do?
Come over here.
Get the rope.
Now, Thomas, my boy,
listen to me.
Let me explain.
Now, the mayor of this village
is an absolute rascal, right?
Now, he has the money
belonging to the poor
orphans down there.
And he intends to keep it
all for himself.
Now, if you'll go
down this rope
and help us
to get the money out,
we'll see
that it is distributed
amongst those to whom
it rightfully belongs, eh?
I don't know. Maybe I should ask
my father or Woody.
Oh, no! No, there's no necessity
to bother them.
I'm sure they would approve.
In fact, I'm quite certain
your father would be
very proud of you.
Very proud.
Why, yes.
He would?
Yes, of course he would.
Come on. Let's pull the job...
I mean, let us do our best
to help the poor little orphans.
Shall we?
You see, Antony?
Everything comes
to him who waits.
He believed every word
of that silly story. Ha ha!
Hey, wait a minute!
How do I know that money's
really for the poor orphans?
Oh, uh...
Well, you have
my word of honor.
And you have mine.
Oh! Oh, well,
then it must be alright.
What should I do now?
Tie the rope to one
of those bags.
Uh, which one?
The biggest one!
Then climb on,
and we'll pull you up.
It's going to work,
Tony. Ha ha!
Nobody will guess
how we did it.
It's ready.
Right, right.
Ha ha ha!
Ahh! Ha ha ha!
Aren't we going to
take any more?
Not now. Maybe we'll
come back later.
Well, there's plenty more
down there.
Let's get rid of the kid now
so he won't open his mouth.
Are you out of your mind?
Leave this to me.
Now, listen, my dear fellow.
We're going to take you
for a nice little ride.
They are gone.
Come on.
Now, tom, this is where
we must part.
Now, that's the road
that takes you home.
Now, remember our little secret.
Don't tell anyone.
That's the only way
we can surprise
the dear little orphans.
Oh, by the way,
I'm sure
the dear little orphans
would like you to have this.
Run and get it!
Tooty dooty doo!
Tooty tooty too.
Help! Help!
And where have you
been all day?
Oh, all over the place.
I had a wonderful time.
I got some talented shoes,
and then I went dancing,
and I rode on a balloon.
Oh, I've just been helping
two friends do a good deed.
Until it got dark,
and you fell into the swamp.
Ah, I'd have got out anyway,
but thanks just the same.
What was that?
Hi, queenie.
Hello, Woody.
Do you realize I have searched
every inch of this forest
trying to find you?
Well, I'm sorry you got lost.
I got lost?
You got lost you mean.
I've been looking
for you all day.
The trouble with you, tom...
oh, Woody, why don't
you leave him alone?
Never mind, queenie.
The trouble with you, tom,
is you have no sense
of responsibility.
What about your sense
of responsibility?
You were to keep your job
and take care of tom.
He only went away
to get you a pair of shoes.
You stay out of this!
Don't speak to him like that.
I think you'd better
take him straight home.
Oh! "Do this, do that."
I've had enough!
I'm tired of dragging
through this forest
doing things for other people.
If it's not him flying
around in balloons,
it's you trying to
get me to kiss you.
Woody! How dare you?
Ah, yes, don't think
I don't know.
I'm not as dumb as I may look.
I will kiss you when I'm good
and ready to marry you
and not before
if you think I'd marry
a no-good, idle
do-nothing like you,
you second woodwind,
you! Oh!
Hey, wh-wh-what...
Don't go, queenie.
I'm... I'm sorry, Woody.
It was all my fault.
Oh, it's...
It's alright.
Well, come on, tom.
Let's get you home.
That good-for-nothing
He'll have some
tall explaining to do.
Your father's in
a pretty bad mood.
Yes. You better
go ahead.
I'll try to get to bed
before father sees me.
You've had enough
trouble of your own.
Thanks, tom.
So long.
A boy of his age being out
till this time of night.
It's been dark for hours.
I should never have let them go.
It's my fault.
Where are they?
Where are they?
I'll teach him a lesson.
I hope nothing's
happened to him.
Something will happen to him
when he gets home.
The idea of a youngster
like that
gallivanting around.
I'll see he doesn't do it again,
I can tell you that.
You finally decided
to come home.
Now, you tell me
what you've been
doing all this time,
and it better be good.
Jonathan, you mustn't allow
yourself to get upset like this.
We'll talk about it
in the morning.
Say goodnight to your father.
Goodnight, father.
I'm sorry.
Trouble, yes?
I've just made my folks so
unhappy, and I'm so sorry.
Being sorry next best thing
to being good.
Humble one suggests
you go sleep.
I can't sleep.
I just feel so bad
I can't sleep.
Problem easily remedied.
Let me introduce
yawning man...
very good friend.
the yawning man
I come when shadows creep
with my yawning song
I stroll along
and help put people
to sleep
If you just can't sleep
and you're tired
as could be
there's a remedy
it's the yawning melody
if you yawn, yawn, yawn
then you'll sleep,
sleep, sleep
till the dawn, dawn, dawn
so let's all yawn
If the sandman comes
and his sack he unties
tell him, "go away"
who wants sand
thrown in his eyes?
if you yawn, yawn, yawn
then you'll sleep,
sleep, sleep
till the dawn, dawn, dawn
so let's all yawn
try it, tom.
If you still can't sleep
and for slumber you yearn
if your eyelids burn
and you squirm
and twist and turn
try to yawn, yawn, yawn
then you'll sleep,
sleep, sleep
till the dawn, dawn, dawn
so let's all yawn
Jonathan, come and sit down.
You can't possibly go to work
in weather like this.
You might just as well relax
and enjoy your breakfast.
Where's tom?
He's asleep.
Wake him up.
Oh, no, let him sleep.
He's so exhausted.
I wonder who that is.
Well, gentlemen,
what can I do for you?
Maybe you can help us.
The treasury has been robbed,
and we're searching
for the culprits.
Have you seen any
strangers hereabouts?
No, I haven't.
Have you, Anna?
Why, no.
Have you looked in the forest?
Yes. We've been
all through it.
We're about to have breakfast.
Won't you join us?
Come in, gentlemen.
Make yourselves at home.
Well, thank you.
Won't you sit down?
Here you are.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Very tasty, ma'am.
Well, thank you.
Wake up,
Hey, this
is a coin from it.
There's no
doubt about it, I swear.
How now, madam?
Are you in the habit
of baking your bread
in the village treasury?
I haven't the least idea
how it could've got there.
This coin is part
of the stolen money.
Where's the rest of it?
Honestly, I don't know.
I don't even know
how this one got here.
Huh! A likely story.
You mean you don't
believe her?
Are you accusing us
of thievery?
And you call yourself
honest Jonathan.
You may call yourself
honest Jonathan,
but as for me, you're a crook.
That isn't true!
He's the thief.
Don't you dare call
my husband a thief!
You're both under arrest.
Hey, wake up, huh?
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up! Help!
Con-fu-shon, wake up!
Honorable yawning man
has very powerful medicine.
We got to open the door!
Con-fu-shon, some soldiers
just accused my money
of stealing parents.
No, I mean, well,
we got to open the door!
He's not a crook.
Are you awake?
A Jack-in-the-box.
Yes, yes, yes!
Come on.
Yes, a big mistake.
You haven't heard the last
of this, my friend. Let me go!
Take your hands off me!
Take your hands off me!
Wake up, Jack.
Very quick, wake up.
I'm sleepy.
Go away.
But... but...
but honorable tom
need honorable
Jack-in-the-box very much.
Why didn't you say so
in the first place?
What can I do?
Can you open the door?
Consider it done.
Little man, big trouble?
Oh, con-fu-shon...
What am I going to do?
To prove innocence,
find guilty one.
I know who the robbers are.
With such knowledge,
problem easily solved.
Yes. So all I have to do
is find the robbers
and have them put in jail.
That's what I'm going to do.
are you a dream?
or was it really you?
were we really here?
did my dream come true?
I can't be happy now
till you belong to me
why did you fade away
never my love to be?
was I awake?
I can't believe it's true
but once, long ago
you were the love I knew
can it be possible
you've gone away?
or were you a dream
I dreamed one day?
you touched me
I felt your touch
you must be real
I care so much
come back to me
tell me it's true
tell me
you're not a dream
tell me
it's you
Oh, hello, tom.
I was just, uh,
singing to myself a little.
I heard.
Well, where are you going?
Well, I have to go
catch a couple of criminals.
Really? And what
have they done?
Well, they robbed the treasury.
My folks got blamed for it,
and they took them to prison.
Oh, no. Well,
that's terrible!
Of course it's terrible!
Are you going to come and help
me or just sit there and sing?
Hmm? Oh, help,
of course, tom.
Well, come on, then.
I know what they look like, too.
One of them has a big tall hat,
and the other's a big fat man.
Wait a minute.
Are they dressed in black?
Yes, yes, and...
it's them.
You know who they are,
and I know where they are.
Come on, tom.
One for you, and one for me.
Ha ha ha!
Two for you, and two for me.
Ha ha ha!
Three for you,
and three for me.
Three. Ha ha!
Four for you, and four for me.
Five for you, and five for me.
Six for you, and six for me.
Ha ha ha!
You stay here.
Seven for you and seven for me.
Seven. Ha ha ha!
Eight for you,
and eight for me.
Nine for you,
and nine for me.
10 for you, 10 for me.
I've come to take that money
back where it belongs.
Ha ha! 12 for you,
12 for me.
Give me that money,
do you hear?
"Give me that money,
do you hear?" Ha ha ha!
Go away.
14 for you, 14 for me.
I told him to go away.
I heard you.
Now we start again.
Maybe we better leave
and share the Booty later.
Hey, I want mine now.
Very well.
We must hurry.
One for you, one for me.
Woody, wake up.
Three for you, three for me.
Four for you, four for me.
Five for you, and five for me.
Six for you, and six for me.
Seven for you, seven for me.
Eight for you, eight for me.
Nine for you, nine for me...
11 for me.
12 for you, 12 for me.
Ah, cheers.
Hey, Ivan,
you've got more than me.
But you saw me count.
Let's start again.
This time,
I will do the counting.
One for me, and one for you.
Two for me, and two for you.
Three for me,
and three for you.
Alright, you do the counting.
One for you, and one for me.
Two for you,
two for me.
Three for you...
Salud, Ivan, eh?
Bottoms up.
Ha ha ha!
Ivan, there's a crook in here,
and it's not me.
There are two crooks in here,
and they are both you.
Ah... Ha ha!
Ah, money!
There he is.
Oh, money! Ah!
Ha ha! Money. Money.
Oh! Argh!
Money, I love you!
Ah! En garde!
Touche. Touche.
Ah ha ha!
Had enough?
I've not had enough.
Ha ha ha!
Yah! Ha ha!
Put 'em up.
So you try to cheat me, eh?
Now I show you how to count.
Ha ha ha!
One for you,
and one for me.
Two for you...
Two for me.
Ha ha ha!
Three for you,
and three for me.
Ha ha ha!
1, 2, 3, 4 for you.
And 1, 2, 3, 4
for me. Ha ha!
Ivan, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 for you.
Ha ha ha!
There's the kid!
Hey, there he is!
Now I'm really going to fix you
for coming here.
I'll fix you, boy.
Hear ye! Hear ye!
The decision
of the royal court.
"For participation
in the robbing
"of the village treasury,
12 lashes of the whip."
"For failure to divulge
the names of your confederates,
another 12 lashes
of the whip."
Whipping's too good for them!
They stole our money!
Get on
with the whipping! Please!
We didn't do it.
We're innocent!
Ha ha ha!
Huh? Oh.
He bit me.
He bit me.
Where is he?
He's not there, Ivan.
There he is.
Help! Help!
Ha ha! Now let's
get the money, eh?
Ha ha ha!
Pleasant dreams.
Buena sera.
Well, I guess we got through
with the little runt.
Yes, yes.
Come on. Let's go.
No, no, wait.
There's still some more.
Oh, leave those for the orphans.
Ha ha ha!
Come on.
I am an orphan
ha ha ha!
I am an orphan
ha ha ha!
Come on.
Before carrying out
the sentence,
I am going to
give you one last chance.
Where have you
hidden the money?
I can only repeat, sir,
we know nothing about it.
Tell the town lasher
to prepare.
We've got the money.
We've got the money.
It's the wrong road! This will
take us to the village.
The stupid beast won't obey.
Make way for the town lasher!
There's the turn.
Get off the road.
Turn to the right,
you stubborn old nag!
To the right, Ivan.
To the right.
I know. I know!
I can't do anything with it.
That was fine.
To the right, Ivan.
To the right.
There's a crossroad coming.
Go straight ahead.
We'll show them
who the real robbers are.
Faster! Faster!
I can't go any faster.
We made it! Stop!
There are the robbers!
They stole the money!
Hi, mom. Hi, dad.
Fetch those men!
Out of my way, donkey boy.
What have you done with him?
Where's tom?
I'm over here,
Here I am.
No kisses, remember?
Oh, don't worry, mom.
She does that all the time.
Now, wait a minute.
This isn't the way
it was supposed to happen.
Try it again...
Like... Like this?
Queenie, you're real.
Doo Dee doo Dee doo
Dee doo Dee
doo Dee doo Dee doo
Dee doo Dee doo Dee dum dum
doo Dee doo Dee dum dum
doo Dee doo Dee dum dum dum
da Dee da Dee da
Dee da Dee da Dee da Dee da
Dee da Dee da Dee
da Dee dum dum
da Dee da Dee dum dum
da Dee da Dee dum dum dum
hey, Woody! Is this how
you do it?
Da Dee da Dee da
Dee da Dee
da Dee da Dee da
Dee da Dee da Dee
da Dee da Dee dum dum
da Dee da Dee dum
da Dee da Dee dum dum dum
tooty dooty doo!
Tooty dooty
dum dum