Too Old for Fairy Tales (2022) Movie Script

[upbeat music playing]
[children clamoring excitedly]
Mighty Waldemar the First.
And I'm an athlete.
Well, an e-sports athlete.
You nervous?
You need to learn to chill, Waldi.
Come on, man. They're waiting for us.
[people chattering]
[announcer] Welcome, everybody.
In just a moment, we'll begin
the next round of our tournament.
In the right corner,
the team that needs no introduction,
the VIPs. A round of applause.
[crowd applauding and cheering]
[announcer] They'll be facing a team
that is making their debut today,
Three Kings.
But it appears that two
of these so-called kings
are nowhere to be seen.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are currently waiting
for Waldek Bana and Staszek Lebioda.
Waldek, Staszek, are you here?
[guns firing on video game]
[video game characters grunting]
[boy 1] Bravo. Well done.
Whew! Nice one.
Oh no. Keep it coming.
-[boy 2] Hey, watch out.
-One is on me. One is on me.
[boy 3] Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Hey, cover me.
[upbeat music continues]
[sighs sharply]
-[crowd cheering]
-Yes! Yes!
[announcer] What an excellent play
by the VIPs.
Yeah! Yes!
[announcer] And the final score is 1-0
for the VIPs.
[upbeat music playing]
Hey, look, he's gonna cry.
[crowd] Ooh!
Hey! [grunting]
[upbeat music continues]
[Waldi] Staszek, my best friend.
We have the same prirorities.
But half a year ago,
his hormones went crazy.
Now he wants a girlfriend.
How'd the game go?
[Waldi] Mama.
Uh, tournament.
[Waldi] She doesn't get computer games.
Oh, don't worry.
Such a silly, silly game anyway.
[Waldi] But she loves me
and supports my e-sports career.
You'll show them who's bossin a month.
And at a real tournament too, right?
Not some stupid thing like this.
Come on. Get in.
-[Staszek] What?
Check this out. [chuckles]
"Three Kings." I can't believe it.
XXXL. This one's yours.
Mighty Waldi the First.
And Brave Stanisaw the First!
[Waldi] Rudy.
Rudy! Rudy!
This is for you!
[Waldi] That's Rudy, the third King.
Compared to him, we're noobs.
Rudy is a real pro.
He doesn't seem overly excited.
He will be when we put them on
during the tournament.
And not just any tournament.
Think about it, Waldi.
Just picture the hordes
of fans and groupies.
[vacuum whirring]
[Waldi's mom] Your aunt is coming.
The place has to be tidy.
But you already vacuumed an hour ago.
[vacuum continues whirring]
[sentimental music playing]
[Staszek] Let's go, Waldi! Let's go!
Come on, Waldek!
Faster! Faster! You can do it!
[Waldi sighs]
Oh man!
Wanna play tonight?
Don't know.
Mama's aunt is coming today.
Mariolka. Crazy.
I don't envy you. That's for sure.
Maybe we can later.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
Can't you see the lights are still busted?
It is very dangerous in this area.
A kid walking back from school
all by himself could--
[walker squeaking]
could, at any moment,
trip and fall under a speeding truck,
while at the same time,
the kid could immediately also drop
into a manhole and drown
in a large sea of poo-poo. Ugh!
Will you ever let him cross by himself?
I willwhen they fix these damned lights.
[doorbell rings]
[door opens]
-[Mariolka] Tereska, hello, my love.
-[Tereska] Hi.
[Mariolka] Look at you.
You don't look bad at all.
Like a sexy corpse.
Forgive my tardiness.
You live so far fromKodzko.
And don't get me started on the traffic.
People just don't know how to drive.
They're just terrible.
And you know what I noticed?
The better the car,
the worse the driver. Catch!
And there's construction everywhere.
They're either repainting the lines,
trimming the trees, cleaning the whatever.
As if they didn't have the decency
to do it at night
when normal people are asleep.
But no, they do it during the day,
and they do it
when everyone is in a rush too.
[Waldi] I could tell you a thing or two
about her as well,
my mama's beloved auntie,
but I wouldn't know
where to start with her antics.
I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.
[Mariolka] Waldu, your auntie's here!
-[Waldi] Like I hadn't noticed.
-[Mariolka] Hi there, sweetie.
Oh, we're a bit on the plump side,
aren't we?
[Waldi] Oh, we're a bit on the crazy side,
aren't we?
[Mariolka] Hi there, young man.
Wow, look,
this kitchen is spotless, Tereska,
like you're expecting the parish priest.
Is that all you do all day?
Clean, clean, clean, clean?
I gotta be honest, Tereska.
This house is [sighs]
It's missing a little life. [giggles]
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry, my boy.
Oh, yuck!
[Waldi] I don't think I can handle this
physically or mentally.
[Mariolka] What goes in the fridge?
Have I ever told you the story
of my old pet poodle?
He was the one
who lost all of his teeth. Remember?
No. But I can't wait to hear it.
Ah, well, he really loved eating candy,
and he kept eating it,
and so, of course,
in the end, his teeth fell out.
Both the upper
and the lower ones fell out.
So he couldn't eat anymore, and he died,
the poor old thing.
But then I got to travel again
with my girlfriends.
I'm in this club, and we travel a lot.
I went to Turkey, and, and then
Waldu has some kind of arthritis
in his hands or what?
He can't pour it himself?
[upbeat music playing]
[Waldi] She's nuts, isn't she?
I mean, who would say
something like that to a child?
That's it.
Tomorrow, you're riding your bike.
Do you have a girlfriend yet?
But I've prepared an actual room for you.
Auntie, everything is-- Well
[whispering] I've prepared everything
in case something happens.
[Mariolka] Yeah, yeah, I saw the fridge.
Full of all that unhealthy junk.
It will last at least a year.
But you know that II don't plan
to stay here that long anyway.
I've got my own life,
and I've got other plans, tons of them.
But you have plans of your own, don't you?
Pump, boy
Pump, boy
Pump out the bilge
There are pumps everywhere
But we need more hands
Typhoon, tsunami
Oh boy, we need to hurry
It's raining so heavy
So let's man the pumps
[Waldi sighs]So, there you have it.
Pump, boy
Pump, boy
Would you rather stay with Grandpa?
-Can I take my computer?
No. You can't take it.
Well, you're not really giving me
a choice.
You know my lifeprirorities.
[inhales] Yes, I do.
Auntie promised me
that she would let you practice
as much as you want.
Trust me.
You don't have to worry. [chuckles]
Do you want me to tell you a story?
I'll get tested,
and then I'll come straight back, okay?
And nothing else, right?
Sleep well, Son.
[door closes]
-[computer dings]
-[Staszek through computer] Waldi.
[guns firing on video game]
[people applauding]
[people cheering]
[crowd chanting] Waldi! Waldi!
[guns firing on video game]
[gunfire stops]
[computer dings]
[grumbles] We let you win.
-Yeah, sure, man.
-We did it so you don't cry, you noobs.
Wasp, Mosquito,
don't embarrass yourselves.
Three Kings, congratulations.
Thanks, man.
-The winner is Mighty Waldi the First!
-[boys laugh]
[Mariolka] Mr. Mighty, go to bed.
[sentimental music playing]
[sentimental music continues]
[birds chirping]
[Waldi] Couldn't she do those tests
at our local clinic?
That would be better for both of us.
Then I wouldn't have to stay
with this lunatic.
I feel like I'm being sucked
into a black hole,
or like I'm falling into a void,
a void of despair.
We're cooking "healthy soy-milk gnocchi"?
I don't wanna eat that.
I want something yummy,
like a greasy, fried chicken.
[gnocchi squishes]
The first pancake is always spoiled.
Okay, let's lower the bar a bit.
Remember the most important thing
is that you you cooked it yourself.
[gagging] Excuse me.
[door opens]
[water running]
[Mariolka gargling]
[energetic music playing]
[Mariolka] Waldu!
The dishes won't wash themselves.
[tuts] Greasy.
[air releasing]
The apartment looks really sterile,
doesn't it?
It needs some Hmm. We should
[tuts] Yeah, for sure, we should
Waldu, where's your bike?
Auntie, I'm an e-sports athlete.
This is my prirority.
And because
of all this treacherous cycling,
my gaming muscles are really, really sore.
You gotta do something
instead of doing nothing.
[Waldi] I won't allow it, you crazy woman.
I'm gonna tell Mama.
You'll see what happens
when Mama finds out.
[Mariolka] Waldu!
Keep going!
Keep going!
[Waldi] Come on! She's a nutcase.
Waldu! Keep going! Go!
[telephone ringing]
How are you feeling, my love?
[Tereska on phone] Auntie.
I'm coming back toWaldek.
What do you mean, honey, "coming back"?
[Tereska] This is all pointless, Auntie.
What nonsense are you talking about?
You have to stay there, you hear me?
And do it for him.
He's in no danger.
I'm taking real good care of him,
I told you.
[Tereska] I'm here.
Honey, I'm so proud of you.
-So proud.
-Thank you, Auntie.
[sighs heavily]
We're not gonna give up.
We are not gonna give up.
Oh, hey! Excuse me, sir!
Excuse me, sir!
You can just leave the plants
right there by the entrance!
Don't bother yourself!
My nephew will help!
My nephew, he'll carry it!
-Thank you, sir!
-[van door closes]
[sighs heavily]
God! It's gorgeous.
Be careful. Really lovely.
Careful. Careful,Waldu.
So, was that the last one?
[breathlessly] Yeah.
That's wack.
[Waldi] Nothing.
I assumed it was only my thoughts.
I mean, I thought
I was using my inner voice.
Now since you're done with your exercise,
take a quick shower, change your clothes,
and go off to school.
You're not gonna take me?
Hmm. Well, I could alwaysgive you
a piggyback ride.
[comical music playing]
[sighs heavily]
[Waldi] I can't take it anymore.
So now I have to walk alone?
Nice shirt, loser.
[Waldi] And I have to dress myself?
[sighs] This is all too much.
And I have to cross the stress
by myself too?
'Sup, man?
Hey, Staszek.
You're doing great, bro.
But your mommy shouldn't hold your hand.
You do look like
a moron, though. [chuckles]
[doorbell rings]
[comical music playing]
Hey there, Waldi.
Check out that chick.
Hey there, ladies!
You got a problem, pipsqueak?
She's being a bit aggressive, right?
And you're being dumb.
It really sucks, man.
'Cause of my nutjob of an aunt,
I don't have any time for myself.
Whatever happened
to following your dreams?
What about spreading your wings?
[sighs] Man, I don't know.
Dude, so are you a man or a mouse?
Stand up to her.
I could have sworn that bike took off
with you and your chubby cheeks.
-[Waldi] Um
-Come on.
[Waldi] I'm MightyWaldemar the First,
and you can't treat me like this!
I've been riding all day,
and I think that's enough.
-Hello there.
-Hi there, handsome.
So, uh, you down to game tonight?
The Insects want a rematch.
[phone ringing]
[Waldi] Hello? Mama?
When will you be home?
You don't have enough vitamins
in your body?
But can't you come back home
and just eat more fruits and veggies?
But, Mom, the woman you call "auntie"
is mentally unstable.
-[Waldi] I mean
This lady is not acting normal at all.
She's been acting worse than ever.
[gentle music playing]
[Waldi snoring]
[Staszek over computer] Waldi!
-[Waldi snoring]
Waldi, come on. Wake up.
[snoring continues]
[clock winding]
[clock ringing]
Is there a fire? There's a fire!
[dramatic music playing]
That was scary, wasn't it?
He who laughs
He who laughs He who laughs
Yeah, he laughs.
will have the last laugh.
Because of you,
I overslept and missed the game.
Hold your horses, young man.
I am good to you.
I even covered you with a gown
so you would stay warm.
Have some breakfast.
But make it yourself.
[Waldi] Might Waldemar the First,
stand up to her.
Make it yourself.
[Waldi] Don't be a loser.
[comical music playing]
[Waldi] Mama, she's a sadist.
She makes me ride a bicycle
for 100 hours a day.
My joints can't take it anymore.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She also forces me to dust.
She makes me do the shopping.
She makes me fold my own clothing.
And she's making me clean the toilet.
[Mariolka laughs]
And she's starving me to death.
[Mariolka] You pour hot water over tea,
because that's what you need to do
for the tea to brew.
No brewing, no tea. See?
What aroma! Look at the color. The flavor!
How dare you laugh at my pain?
This is so not funny.
She's abusing me psychiatrically.
When you lose some weight,
we'll buy you smaller ones.
Where's your swim cap?
Doesn't matter. I'll lend you mine.
Invite Staszek.
We'll go swimming on Saturday.
[Waldi] Really, it's not funny.
[Staszek] You almost drowned
in that river of poo-poo.
Are we playing after school?
I've already texted Rudy.
He was really mad at you
for making him look bad.
You looked so sweet
in that pink gown of yours.
He'll get over it. Don't worry.
We've all been there, bro,
sleeping in our mama's nightgown.
Okay, we're playing then.
Tell Rudy we're playing at midnight.
Unless, of course,
it'll be past that loser noob's bedtime.
[Staszek] Ooh!
[alarm ringing]
[alarm stops]
[shower running]
[Mariolka humming]
Hey, what's up?
Hey, guys, I'm setting up my own channel.
I fooled around a bit
with a bunch of noobs, Three Kings.
I'm here to announce that I've joined
an even better team that's way more pro.
I'm gonna play with them
during the grand tournament.
Wanna see how we win?
Follow my channel.
Link is down below. Peace out.
He really did all that
just because you dozed off?
As my dad always tells me,
"You were acting like a complete slacker
and a total loser," but--
-And so how is that my fault?
-It isn't mine.
[whimsical music playing]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales deeply]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales deeply]
[Waldi] She's completely lost touch
with reality.
She should never be allowed
to care for a child.
She poses a very real threat to me.
My life's in danger.
What can I do? Should I call the police?
Should I run away?
But where and to who?
[adventurous music playing]
WARD 2 - ROOM 004
Yeah, I'm about to start my last drive.
I'm exhausted. I'm starving.
These overnights can be brutal sometimes.
I'll be home soon.
[adventurous music continues]
[speaking indistinctly]
What are you doing here, kid?
I'm here seeing my mom, Teresa Bana.
She's being tested.
Who did you come here with?
W-with that man.
Hey! Stop!
[sentimental music playing]
[Mariolka] Waldu!
Ah! Where the heck have you been, boy?
You scared me to death.
Where did you go last night?
Where were you?
I didn't see you walking to school,
so I thought you were depressed.
Shut your mouth.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey, quit it now. Quit it.
-No more violent video games.
-[both] No way!
[telephone ringing]
[Mariolka] Wait. Hold on.
No! Yeah, he's right here.
You wanna talk to him?
He was at the hospital?
So, wait. What do you mean?
Oh, right. That's right.
Listen, we were passing by the hospital,
and he insisted that-- [inhales]
Tereska, don't be silly.
The boy just wanted to
see the building at night.
He wanted to know
where his mama was staying. That's all.
I'll text you.
[Waldi] No offense,
but that story was so lame.
I doubt she bought it.
[sighs] Waldu! Either go to school
or at least get on your bike.
Waldu! [sighs]
You can't stand around
and do nothing all day.
You always need to act. Be proactive.
You gotta keep moving.
Keep moving to avoid thinking too much.
If you didn't work him so hard,
he wouldn't have fallen asleep
every night,
and we would still have our team.
My dad has a saying that might help.
"You're burning a candle at both ends."
Whatever. You're helpless.
[gasps softly]
[door opens, closes]
[clicking tongue]
Hey, everyone. I've already entered
the tournament with my new team.
In my last team, Three Kings,
there was this kid, a cute little boy.
He was sort of like [groans]
I think he's talking about you.
-[Rudy] He thought he was better than us.
-You're not helping.
[Rudy] Well, sometimes you have to choose
between a good team and a bad team.
-I chose the better team.
-[Mariolka sighs]
[Rudy] What would you choose?
Well, you're gonna compete without him.
We need to have three players,
and we'd have to find a true pro.
So? No other fish in the sea?
Go online and look for another player,
a better player.
[tuts] Um
Waldu, you can skip school,
but you're gonna bike.
A bit of real sport will do you good
and keep your mind healthy, right?
Now, go on.
I'm flying high over the water
Go around the square.
Keep those legs moving.
I skipped school too,
and I deeply regret it.
Can't you tell? [pants]
Okay, she can't see you. Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I can play with you, peeps. No problemo.
-But the tour--
-[children screaming on computer]
But the tournament?
Uh, maybe in eight to ten years.
When my kids have grown up.
I'll have more time, right?
What's up?
[sentimental music playing]
Hi. I see you're recruiting
for Three Kings.
I'd like to join your team.
A girl on our team?
I'm not playing games with a chick.
But she's unbelievably beautiful.
[snorts] As my dad would say,
"Your hormones are raging."
Justyna, what have you done
to the keyboard?
-Justyna, my keyboard isn't working.
-[boys giggle]
Justyna! [grunts]
Um, well,
when I first heard about the casting,
-I thought to myself, "Why not?"
-[door opening]
I have always wanted
to star in movies.[laughs]
Staszek, I'm home.
[girl on computer] So, what do you
[Staszek's dad] Hi, boys.
[guns firing in video game]
Come on, boys.
Mom's gonna be home soon, right?
[boys chuckle]
Darn it!
I've been biking for a really long time.
[dramatic music plays]
[Waldi] Where's my bike?
Maybe I left it somewhere else.
The constant physical exertion
has likely caused
the precipitation of magnesium,
and my brain has acidified.
It's now fermented and confused.
Oh no. What am I gonna tell my aunt?
And then, on the 12th kilometer,
I got a major cramp in all of my toes.
I was so beyond sheer exhaustion
that magnesium started precipitating
through my body.
I stopped and looked at a flock of birds
as they crossed the sky,
a lovely sight to behold.
And then suddenly,
I saw a puppy in the canal.
It was black and white, and it was crying.
[dramatic music playing]
[Waldi] I threw a branch to save its life.
He grabbed it with his teeth.
He still had teeth.
They weren't rotten yet.
And then
they showed up.
[dramatic music continues]
I hit the first one like this.
I went for the other one like this.
And for the third one,
I did a roundhouse kick.
[bully screaming]
-[body thudding]
-[glass shattering]
[dramatic music stops]
Fortunately, everything turned out okay.
But then, I saw they stole my bike.
It all happened
while I was heroically saving
that sweet puppy.
[Mariolka] Wow, Waldu,
I'm proud of you. Really.
Yes, really. Proud of you.
And don't worry about the bike.
Because it seems the thief
rode it around a bit
and then left it
in front of the entrance to Staszek's.
And so, when I went out for my run,
I brought it back upstairs.So
You know
[inhales deeply] Saving a puppy!
I'm sorry.
-[Mariolka humming]
-[shower running]
[telephone vibrating]
[vibrating stops]
[Mariolka grunts]
[metal ratcheting]
[ethereal music playing]
[Mariolka exclaims]
[sentimental music playing]
[unenthusiastically] Ta-da.
Your mom told me to give it to you.
Though, I don't know why
she wants to poison her own child.
But, under the current circumstances,
I've decided to give them to you.
[tuts, inhales]
Your mom told me
she's been trying to call you,
but you haven't been answering her calls.
But I know.
It's because you're sacred, aren't you?
[telephone ringing]
[Mariolka] It's your mom.
[ringing stops]
Waldu, please, just talk to her.
Maybe the truth isn't--
I really don't wanna know
what the truth is.
Mom chooses to lie, so I choose
not to know what the truth is, okay?
All parties are satisfied.
Waldu, listen--
I just wanna know
when my mom is coming home. That's all.
And I don't wanna talk to you ever again.
[sighs exasperatedly]
Waldu, that's not how life works.
But you know, you could always try
to cut your fear in half.
In half?
Nonsense. What does she mean "in half"?
[video call ringing]
[call answers]
[Ant] Do you wanna talk,
or do you wanna play?
I've had enough of these childish Insects.
I wanna compete in the tournament,
but not with them.
I need players
who know how to behave properly.
So, are you casting or not?
Let's say it's no longer necessary.
Uh, it's not necessary,
because, sir, you are so good, uh, sir,
and if you want, sir,
you can totally join our team,
especially if you think we're good
and know how to behave.
We'll see.
I need to get to know you in real life.
Tomorrow morning at 8:00
in front of your apartment building.
Wait. How do you know where we live?
You have your location pinned.
Uh, but here's the thing.
Uh, we're going swimming
in the morning. And Staszek too.
Swimming, you say?
Okay then.Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.
in front of your apartment building.
Be there, or else the deal's off.
-[call ends]
-This is so cool.
W-what if he kidnaps up?
For the love of Mike,
you're being paranoid.
For the love of who?
We definitely need
some type of protection.
[adventurous music playing]
Hi, Auntie.
I'd like to go on a run tomorrow
at around 5:00.
And could you stand by the window
and time me with your stopwatch?
Uh-huh. Okay, okay. Will do. Bye.
[Waldi sits]
We've got backup.
-[adventurous music continues]
-[people chattering]
[locker beeping]
[locker beeps rapidly]
Hey, lift the bench up.
[music ends]
Apparently, some nitwit
got stuck in the changing room.
I assumed it was you.
Okay, Waldu, you can take the cap off.
[adventurous music resumes]
Now, then, let's go.
[blows whistle]
Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster!
Now, kick! Kick!
[music stops]
[romantic music playing]
Waldu, waterslide time.
[blows whistle]
[adventurous music playing]
[music crescendos, stops]
Go on, Waldu. You can do it.
-When I say, uh, "And go," off you go.
Three, and go!
[screams] Auntie!
Do you think he clogged it?
You can clog your mouth.
[Waldi screaming]
I was standing here for too long,
and I sort of didn't notice
you were coming.
[Waldi] How can you not notice me?
-Um, it's fine.
I am I am so sorry, ma'am.
I mean, miss. Sorry.
I am so sorry because I bumped into you.
You I apologize to you.
She's so beautiful.
She's laughing at me.
But her laugh is so lovely.
I never want it to stop.
[Staszek] Whoo-hoo!
Hey, there. Uh, my name is Staszek,
and this is Waldemar.
Waldemar? Sounds like
a good name for an uncle.
You know, like [laughs]
"Young lady, haven't you grown up yet?"
"You have a boyfriend yet?" [giggles]
[Waldi] She's so tiny.
I wanna take care of her.
Are you all right?
[Waldi] And she's funny too.
I'm going to marry her.
[Waldi] Delfina, Delfinka, Delfunia.
[sighs] What a beautiful name.
Hey, why'd you kick me?
I want her to be my girlfriend.
Did she give you her number?
Nice one, bro.
So, what are you gonna do?
I don't really know.
Should I say something like,
"I want you to be my girlfriend"?
I mean, what do you think?
It sounds more like a suggestion
than a question.
She's perfect for me. Don't you get it?
She's the girl I want.
[phone beeps]
-[Waldi] Oh my gosh. It's her.
"Let's meet at 5:00 p.m.
in front of your building or not at all."
But aren't we meeting
with Ant at 5:00 p.m.?
That's not cool.
You know, I usually don't like
to mix business with pleasure.
But in this case,
I think I could bend the rules.
I'll make an exception.
[dramatic music playing]
A minute to 5:00.
We're good.
But what do we do
if Ant gets here before her?
Even better, man.
Delfina will see how we work.
Uh, chicks dig that kind of stuff.
-[sentimental music playing]
Snap out of it, bro.
You won't get far if you act like this.
Thanks for having me on your team.
I'm Ant.
Wait. So you're Ant?
Waldu! Waldu!
You won't lose any weight
if you don't run, sweetie.
Um, that's my neighbor. She's crazy.
I take care of her sometimes,
and I shop for her too.
[Mariolka] Waldu!
-[soaring music playing]
-[Mariolka] Are you running or not?
-[crowd cheering]
-[soaring music continues]
[music fades]
Wait. So you're a girl?
Dude, there's no way
I'm gonna play with a girl.
A chick in the Kings?
You're joking, right?
Delfina, please don't go.
Dude, was that bad?
[door slams]
[sighs] D-did I just witness
some sort of date between you and a girl?
Why did you need me there
with a stopwatch in hand then?
And why are you-- [sighs]
-Hey, wanna talk about it?
-[Waldi] No.
Wanna do something together
to take your mind off of it?
[Waldi] No!
[sighs, tuts]
Hmm. [sucks teeth]
[Mariolka humming]
[Waldi] I am Mighty Waldemar the First.
I will endure this test.
I won't give up.
[humming continues]
[Waldi sighs] That's it. I give up.
[humming stops]
[door opens]
[sentimental music playing]
-[Waldi] Mama?
I told your crazy mother to take it easy,
but apparently, I guess it was necessary
for her to come back home and see
if I've been feeding you enough chocolate.
I'm sorry for not telling you.
I know it was unfair to you.
I think you
and I need to have a talk, okay?
I'll make you a cup of tea.
Waldek, listen
They weren't just any tests.
I'm in the middle of treatment right now.
So you don't believe
I can make a cup of tea, huh?
[water boiling]
I can do it.
-Let him. He can do it.
-Auntie, no.
Waldek, hey.
[sentimental music continues]
[music stops]
[Waldi] Auntie got me
a new pair of shorts?
[sarcastically] Great. Just great.
She can't even let a man cheer up a bit
and bring some sweetness to his life.
She just keeps interfering
in every aspect of my life.
Including my emotional life.
Even my shorts.
Crazy woman.
[Staszek] You know what?
Your mom looks great.
It's a pity
she has to go back to the hospital.
But did she really have
to walk you to school?
I'll show her when she gets back.
[Delfina] Hey.
[Staszek] Hey.
[Waldi] She's not angry at us?
She probably came to see me.
We're gonna have five kids.
Yeah, okay, this spot has potential.
[bag unzips]
Stop showing off
and apologize to me, you jerk.
A "chick," huh? Seriously?
Well, I mean, I don't know what to say.
Your friend is the one with manners.
And you?
Look, you can just say I'm sorry.
Go ahead and kiss the lady's hand.
Apology accepted.
Here are the forms.
You need to make sure to fill them in.
Welcome toThree Kings, Queen Delfina.
You're gonna make me throw up.
Dude, have you been watching
too many action movies, or what?
[Waldi] She's the thing
dreams are made of.
-My hopes and my dreams.
-[romantic music playing]
[music continues]
Come on in.
Last participant Staszek.
And last name?
Is that what it says on your puny diploma?
You have beautiful handwriting.
[Staszek laughing]Beautiful, indeed.
Quit it.
[resumes writing]
Now all we need
are your parents' signatures.
My mom isn't feeling too well today.
[Mariolka singing]
If I had wings like a goose
I would fly
Wait a second.
Is that your crazy neighbor?
She waters our plants.
She's really my aunt.
If I had wings like a goose
I would followJasiek
[grunts] To Silesia
I'm flying over the trees
-I'm flying over the water
-This girl's messing with your head.
I'm looking--
-Hello, miss.
[Delfina] I'm Ant.
I'm not sure what you're doing,
but I'd love to try it sometime.
You can join me whenever you like.
But first, there's something
the four of us have to take care of.
Waldek needs a written permission
from a parent to enter the tournament.
-[Mariolka] Hmm.
-But I think your signature will do fine.
So where do I have to sign this?
Here and here.
-[Mariolka] Here you go.
-Thank you.
I'm taking you on a trip tomorrow
with the boys.
[Waldi sighs]
Ah! The roads are going to be empty.
-[Waldi] Because it's 4:00 in the morning.
-It's 8:00. Stop whining.
Girls don't like that. Am I right, Ant?
Speaking of which,you think
you wanna tell me your real name?
-[dejectedly] Delfina.
Never mind. You were right.
You should use a nickname.
[Waldi] As if our parents didn't give us
stigmatizing names, Mariolka.
You're sending our entry form today,
We're going to own that tournament.
And when we win first place,
the prize is a trip to Germany.
I've never been outside the country.
We're gonna do it, man. We've got this.
[both spit]
[man] Hmm. How's this one?
It looks good. [grunts]
[man] 'Sup, ladies?
So, you're taking care of her, huh?
Time for a warmup.
And one and two. And one and two.
And one and two. One and two. [grunts]
Have you ever been on one of those things?
Not that I have anything
against elderly people,
or that I would discriminalize,
but that line looks like
it could really jerk you around.
-What if it rips your arms off?
You don't want to be armless, do you?
That hurt.
Okay, hit it, captain.
[engine whirring]
-[adventurous music playing]
-[Mariolka] Yahoo!
Waldu, first, bend your knees
and then straighten your arms.
Then jump into the water.
You got this. Come on. You can do it.
You've got it.
-[engine whirs]
-[Waldi screams]
[blows raspberry]
You can try again in a minute.
Don't worry.
Go! Your turn.
[adventurous music playing]
[engine whirring]
Oh yeah! Bravo!
Great job!
[Waldi] They keep talking.
I'm just paranoid.
There's nothing going on between them.
Delfina values intelligence.
That's weird. Where's he going?
Did he fart or something?
-[music ends]
-Thank you.
[Waldi] You are Mighty Waldemar the First.
It's now or never.
Don't chicken out! Just do it!
Bro, come on!
Are you asking me
to be your girlfriend too?
Are you two crazy?
I don't want a boyfriend. Ugh!
[Waldi] "You two"? What does she mean?
Staszek, you've gone too far.
[Mariolka] Relax,Waldu. I'm still awake.
[zipper zipping]
Could you stop calling me "Waldu"
and call me "Waldek" from now on?
Sure. Okay.
Good night, Auntie.
[Mariolka] Good night, Waldek.
[somber music playing]
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
[upbeat music playing]
Keep going!
That's five.
[music stops]
[Mariolka] That might be her.
[sentimental music playing]
[Waldi] Mama!
My little angel, come here.
[Waldi] I'll take that.
[Tereska] Isn't it too heavy?
[Waldi] No. I can do it.
-[Tereska] Hmm?
Can we go see Grandpa now?
Without your computer?
You wanna visit him?
But you aren't in the best--
Why not? We can go. Yeah.
Let's go over the weekend.
It'll do me good too.
[Tereska] Come on, Waldek.
Why are you packing these?
What's this? Where did you get it?
Teresa, Waldek knows
how to pack his own clothes.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can see that.
He looks ridiculous in these clothes.
So what if he looks ridiculous? So what?
Whether he looks good or looks ridiculous
isn't the point.
What's important is
that he chose the clothes for himself.
[Tereska humming]
Now that's what I call gratitude.
[sucks teeth]
-[Delfina] Hi, Waldi.
[Mariolka sighs]
I believe it's time to say goodbye.
How come?
[Mariolka] Well, my job here is done.
So you're not coming with us to Grandpa's?
[Mariolka laughs] No.
Besides, who needs me there?
[breathes deeply]
Oh my gosh. [chuckles]
I really think I'm going to cry.
[stoplight beeping]
Looks like they're fixing the lights.
[stoplight beeping]
[stoplight beeping rapidly]
Why haven't you called me?
Going on a trip?
Only for a few days.
Will you call me when you come back?
This is from Staszek.
It's for you.
[stoplight beeping rapidly]
You look like you could use a ride.
Get inside.
[upbeat music playing]
[Waldi] That's my grandpa.
You'd think he's tough, but he's a softie.
Did you have to bring her?
[laughs] Did you really?
[Waldi] He really misses Grandma.
Hey, Waldu. No.
We will greet each other like grown men.
Shake my hand. Hello.
[chuckles] Did you know
that your sweet grandmother, Helenka,
had a lot going for her?
For example, she was
a lot smarter and a lot prettier
than her crazy sister,
Mariolka. [chuckles]
And unlike her,
your grandmother was perfectly sane.
But they did have
many similarities as well.
Two beautiful women, very beautiful.
Hi. [laughs]
Did you have to dress up like that?
You remind me of a parrot
I saw in zoo, you know?
Hey, Waldu, we're going to the pond.
Let's go tomorrow. It's teeming with fish.
-How about a barbecue?
-Uh-huh. I see it's all still the same.
I see you're wasting away,Waldu.
You should have seen me
back when I was your age.
-I used to be thin as a rake.
Not even the tightest belt
could hold my pants.
What? What?
-[Grandpa] Oh.
My, my! You've dyed your hair.
It looks nice.
Thank you. Hi, Dad.
[Tereska] Waldek!
Where's your sweater?
[Grandpa grumbles]
[Grandpa] What's all that sneezing about?
[Waldi] I'm allergic to grass.
Boy, allergies, huh? Back in the day,
there were no such things as allergies.
'Cause I remember.
Helenka and I,
we used to tumble a lot
in freshly cut grass.
I-- Hmm.
We were reading books.
Sienkiewicz. You know his Trilogy?
The Deluge, With Fire and Sword,
and last but not least, Mr. Woodyjowski.
Kraszewski, An Ancient Tale.
Kossak-Szczucka, An Expected Guest.
Do you know any of them?
[sentimental music playing]
Tell me,Waldu
How is everything?
You know, the important stuff?
Are you in love?
-A little.
Come on then. Come on, tell me about it.
There's really not much to tell.
Apparently, she's not interested.
[sighs] That's tough.
I've never had a type.
But if I did, she would be it.
She's absolutely perfect.
[Grandpa chuckles]
Tell me something,Waldu.
How did you meet each other? Huh?
When you first saw her,
were you speaking utter nonsense?
Then she got you.
But you know what?
You will get that feeling more than once
in your life, now trust me.
I'll never find a perfect girl like her.
Wait a minute. No, no, no, of course not.
Come on. Of course not. Come.
Don't get angry with me.
This is nothing.
It's simply a fact of life.
I didn't say anything bad, did I?
So tell me
Do you have any buddies?
Do you have a best friend?
-He lied to me.
Ah, well, you see,
that's how it goes in life sometimes.
We have to choose between truth or lies.
[strange call in distance]
That's a bird, right?
Come on. Let's go check it out.
Give me a hand.
-[both grunting]
-There we go.
Waldu, listen, you'll find another girl.
As for that buddy of yours,
if he's even worth your time
Is he worth your time?
You can choose to forgive him then.
I'll tell you something, Waldek.
There are three types of lies
in the world.
The first type stems from fear.
Is that your friend's case?
The second one stems out of stupidity.
But you can forgive that too.
Because is it really the fool's fault
that he is foolish? Huh?
Yeah. Hmm.
Hey, Grandpa, what about the third type?
That one hurts the most,Waldu.
It hurts because
the third type is a lie
that comes from love.
[creaking in distance]
And there will be a day
where you will lie to someone.
But you must remember
to follow your heart.
-[creaking continues]
-And only your heart.
[ethereal music playing]
What took you so long?
Waldek, how are you feeling?
He's allergic to grass.
Tereska, please calm down.
Relax. He's perfectly fine.
Oh really? Is that so?
He's perfectly fine?
Quick, get in the shower.
We need to wash off all the allergens.
Tereska, he's just a little red
because he and I were talking about women.
[laughs] Yeah, yeah.
About women
Helenka, where are ya?
Wait, Dad.
[Grandpa grunting]
Are you crazy? What are you doing?
Get down from there.
[Grandpa] Fine, I'm coming down.
I just wanted to show you
some treasures I found in the attic,
but your overprotective mother over there
chased me away before I got the chance.
[chuckles] She's scolding me,
just like my Helenka.
I see that the women of this family have
bossing around in their blood. [grunts]
Mom, I wanna see it.
Here, take this.
Okay, I'll go with you.
Grandpa is not feeling great today.
Today, Grandpa is not feeling great.
Hey, watch this.
Tereska, are you sure
that delicate boy of yours
won't sneeze his head off up there?
-[Waldi] Mama?
-[Tereska] I'm coming.
[sentimental music playing]
[Tereska] A little more. Keep pulling.
Wait. Wait. Wait. [grunts]
[Waldi] Who's that?
That would be your grandma Helenka.
Look at how beautiful she was. [chuckles]
-[Waldi] Is that Grandpa?
-[Tereska] Yeah.
Is he my age in this photo?
But look, he's just as fat as me.
He told me he was skinny.
[laughs] His memory
isn't as good anymore apparently.
Hey, wait. That's Auntie.
She was a paratrooper?
Yes. But your Auntie stopped
when your grandma passed away.
What happened?
The two of them had a great relationship.
They were very close.
Your grandmother was always worried
about Mariolka.
She was afraid something bad would happen.
Whenever she watched her go for a jump,
she would jokingly say
that her heart would stop.
-And then one day--
-Her heart stopped.
Your aunt has never forgiven herself.
She's thought
it's her fault all these years.
But that's not true. It's not her fault.
Of course not. We know
it's not her fault, honey, of course.
Let's see what's in here.
[blows dust]
Oh my goodness! My pigtails.
Your grandmother cut them off. [laughs]
Why? You wanted a trendy hairstyle?
No. I had lice.
Blah! [laughs]
No, seriously,
when I came back from summer camp,
I was covered in lice.
I mean, I was,
I think, seven or eight years old.
[adventurous music playing]
You went to summer camp alone
when you were eight?
Yeah, of course.
[Grandpa] Look at
this lovely little crucian.
We'll leave that one a bit longer.
Oh, look. What about this whale?
Look. [laughs]
-Let's turn him over.
-[Mariolka laughs]
And the small fry,
we're gonna turn him over as well.
And here's a little carpie.
What a beautiful little carpie.
You see that? [laughs]
Okay then.
It's time to have a little puff.
Grandpa must smoke, or else he'll choke!
No, no, no, no. No smoking.
Especially when Waldek is here.
That mark on your hand, what is that?
-[Tereska] Something must have bit me.
-[Grandpa] Can you show it to me?
[Waldi] Of course. Now she's treating
her own father like a child.
There's a frog.
There's a frog, a very big frog.
[Grandpa] Where?
[Waldi] You gotta be kidding me.
Both of them?
-[Grandpa] Where'd the frog go?
-I'm going to bed.
These allergy pills
are making me very drowsy.
-Good night.
-[Grandpa] Huh?
-[Tereska] Oh. Good night.
-[Grandpa] Good night.
Good night, Waldek.
-Where did the frog go?
-See? There! There!
Yes, good evening.
Teresa Bana.
I just wanted to confirm
my upcoming appointment.
Oncology, yes.
Okay, thank you very much. Goodbye.
[sentimental music playing]
Waldek, could you go and fetch--
[rooster crowing]
Waldek, could you go
[sighs] I can't stand Mom lying again.
And you're covering up for her.
Do you really think Grandpa hasn't noticed
she's not feeling well?
Give her time.
She'll tell him when she's ready.
Even if it's no longer
no longer necessary.
Waldek, can you go and fetch some eggs?
Go to Mrs.Wandzia's house
by the church. You know which one?
I do.
[cows mooing]
Hi there, doggie. Hi. Hi.
[sighs happily]
Calm down. He has a longer walk to school,
and it's in the city,
where there are plenty of cars.
Which is why
he's not allowed to walk alone.
Oh my! So he was being serious.
You walk him to school?
I let him walk to school,
and he was just fine.
Who gave you the right to do that?
I put my child into your hands.
You and I had an agreement.
You need to be realistic.
He should be independent in case--
In case of what now?
In case of what? Huh?
I'm not going to do your job for you.
You're raising him,
and you'll keep raising him.
But, Teresa, you need to relax.
He's a very smart kid.
He knows more than you think.
[tuts] Auntie, listen.
Thanks for everything you're doing.
See ya later, Daddy.
I'll take a few days off,
and we'll be back in a couple of days.
What's wrong, Dad? We'll be back
in two weeks at the very latest.
-I promise you. I'll call you soon.
[sighs heavily]
[Grandpa] The thing
in your pocket is for you.
And this envelope here
is for that bird woman over there.
You're a big boy now.
Tell me, isn't that right, Waldu?
-[questioningly] Yes.
-[Grandpa] Yes.
And you're no longer deaf, and
you're not blind, right?
No, I'm not.
Take care of your mother.
[exhales deeply]
[adventurous music playing]
He didn't notice. It worked fine.
It's a good thing
I didn't tell him about it, you know?
He would only worry.
[Grandpa] The third type of lie,
Waldu, stems from love.
Yes, you were right not to tell him, Mom.
-[Waldi] The third type of lie
-Wear your seat belt.
[Waldi] hurts the liar the most.
[adventurous music continues]
[panting] Hey, you guys.
-Hello, Staszek.
-Hey there.
Hey, bro. I was just passing by.
What's up?
Wanna play today? My mom made cookies.
I'm cutting down on sugar.
But I'll play with you.
Okay. I'll get the suitcase. You go on.
[Staszek] And about that situation
-[Waldi] Can we not talk about it?
-[Staszek, dejectedly] Fine.
[Waldi] But you could at least apologize
for what you did.
All right, I'm sorry, but
I just didn't think someone like Delfina
would be interested in someone like you.
[somber music playing]
[sighs sadly]
Add one more. Good.
You can add another one.
Okay, good.
[Tereska grunts, sighs]
[water running]
[Tereska crying softly]
[Waldi] Come here, Mama. Come.
Waldek, give us a minute.
Auntie, you give us a minute.
[breathing heavily]
I'm sorry, honey. I'm just a bit afraid
of these medical exams, you know?
And how my body is gonna react
to the treatment.
The worst thing is
to be afraid all by yourself.
You gotta cut your fear in half.
I'm taking away half of your fear.
No, no, no. I don't want you
to be afraid for me, baby.
Mama, I've already taken half of it.
Now, go and change your clothes.
Everything is okay.
-Bye, Waldek.
-Bye, Auntie.
[sighs] Okay, so I'll see you tonight.
Call me if anything bad happens.
-I'll have my phone on all the time. Okay?
-Yes, Mama.
See you soon, sweetie.
Bye. Bye.
"You gotta do something
instead of doing nothing."
[upbeat music playing]
[doorbell ringing]
-[door opens]
-[Staszek] Hey, man.
Your aunt called me.
She told me that you're dire need
of playing some games.
And honestly, bro,
it looks like she's right.
I don't wanna play tonight.
[Waldi] The most important thing
is that Mama
that she
You know, it's too bad
that nothing special is happening
during the summer vacation.
Hey, man, do I do anything special
during summer vacations?
But at least you'll be hanging out
with your dad, right?
Yeah, but you've got your mom,
your aunt, and your grandpa.
And me.
Plus, we're competing in the tournament.
You sent our applications ages ago.
They should have replied by now.
[glass shatters]
[Waldi] And lying out of fear.
Don't be afraid.
They'll come back,
and everything will be okay.
[sentimental music playing]
Don't press it. They're probably asleep.
I'm sorry. I fell asleep.
It's all fine. Thank you.
I should go.
You're a good friend,
you know that, don't you?
Have a good night.
The doctor checked my test results
that came back, and he told me that
it should be okay.
Well, what exactly does it mean
that "it should be okay," Mom?
It means
things are going to get better now.
I would tell you even more about it, but,
to be honest, that's all I know so far.
Sometimes, when a thing starts,
we know it's just the beginning,
and then it ends,
and the end is also quite obvious.
But some other times, there are things
we simply just don't know very much about.
I'd like to know about it.
[sighs softly]
Because you're a big boy now.
Grandpa is also big.
[inhales, exhales]
Staszek proved himself?
[all laugh]
[sentimental music playing]
-Mm! So good!
-Oh yeah.
But how did you take it out
from a scalding hot oven?
-[both laugh]
[laughs] Oh goodness!
[all laugh]
You go first.
[Waldi] "Your application
has been accepted."
"We would like to invite you
to our tournament." Yes!
[gasps excitedly]
But I thought I threw the application out.
[sucks teeth]
[Mariolka and Tereska laugh]
-But wait. Mama.
No way. You're going to that tournament.
You listening to me? End of story.
-[bangs table]
-That's what I want. [laughs]
It's from Grandpa.
[Mariolka] Hmm.
"Colorful birds"
"ought to fly." [laughs]
After a fierce and beautiful fight,
there's nothing else to do
but wait for the results.
We're adding up the points, and now
Congrats. Good game, you guys.
We've reached the end
of the Xtreme Robot Masters Finals!
[crowd cheering]
[Waldi] I have to say that,
although life tried to test my friendship
with my best friend Staszek
[announcer] Let me remind you
that the top three teams
are going to Germany
and will be representing us
at the biggest gaming event in Cologne.
And the teams are
-The VIPs!
-Yeah! Yes!
[announcer] Second team
[Waldi] and even though I already met
the woman of my dreams, Delfina
Come up and join me on stage.
The Crazy Ponies.
Yes! [giggles]
[Waldi] and I also got to meet
the second woman of my dreams
as she walked on stage
What's up?
If I were her, I'd definitely hit on you.
[Waldi] the past few weeks
have not been easy.
[announcer] And the last team
[Waldi] A lot of cool, good,
and important things happened to me.
[announcer] that will go with us
to Germany
[Waldi] However, it was a time
of fear and anxiety,
which doesn't fit a fairy tale setting.
Queen and Kings!
-[Staszek] Yeah, we did it!
[boy] It's all your fault.
[Waldi] The most important thing is
I was never alone.
[crowd cheering and applauding]
[girl] I can't believe we did it.
This is so amazing.
[announcer] Queen and Kings!
Join us on stage.
How you feeling?
High five. High five. High five.
[cheering and applauding]
[uplifting music playing]
[cheering continues]
[announcer] Xtreme Robot Masters Finals!
-These teams are going to Germany!
They're traveling to Germany
with guardians, right?
-Without parents? You sure?
[announcer] Let's hear it for our winners.
Bravo, Waldek!
MIGHTY WALDI THE FIRS[cheering continues]
[children shouting encouragingly]
[children chanting]
Waldek! Waldek! Waldek! Waldek!
Waldek! Waldek!Waldek! Waldek!
Waldek! Waldek!Waldek! Waldek!
[all cheering] Yeah!
[boy] Great job!
[Staszek] Dude!
[music continues]
[soaring music playing]
[music softens, fades]
[wind rushing]
[upbeat music playing]
[Waldi] I'm lucky
to be surrounded by my loved ones,
this includes my overprotective mother
and my not-so-normal
but totally awesome auntie.
I can share all my fears and sorrows
with my family and friends.
But I can also share
with them my happiness.
[upbeat music continues]
[soft song playing]