Treasure Hounds (2017) Movie Script

Do you recognize
anything around here?
Nope. Should I?
You've been here before.
We used to visit Grandpops all the
time when you were a toddler.
I'm really sorry, Mom.
I know, sweetie.
We're all gonna miss him.
Grandpops was a lovely man who,
ugh, boy, I can't even finish that.
Yeah, no, Grandpops was a cranky
old coot who hated everybody.
- He was nice to me.
- Of course he was.
Don't get me wrong,
I loved the old guy.
He... [chuckles]
...just had a funny way of
doing things, you know?
Oh, here we are.
It's the one with the
airplane in the front yard?
Oh, sweet! A plane!
The will said Grandpops
left us everything.
I didn't realize it
meant everything.
What do you think, Chauncey?
I think this carrying case
violates the Geneva Convention.
Bit of a fixer upper, huh?
You must be Grandpop's lawyer.
Not anymore.
Here are the keys to the house.
- Hey, how are ya?
- Oh, what a cute dog!
Oh, thanks.
I've been working out.
I'm glad you like him. He's yours.
He came with the estate.
He's been house-trained
but don't hold him to that.
Oh, and when he gets
excited he falls asleep.
He's narcoleptic?
Can a dog be narcoleptic?
Hey, boy!
What's your name?
Hey, I'm Skipper!
- Wanna go for a walk?
- Yeah, I wanna go for a walk!
- Wanna go for a walk?
- This is so exciting!
- This is so... [yawns]
- Come on, come on!
I guess they can be narcoleptic.
[horn honks]
[dog farts]
I'm up, I'm up!
What'd I miss?
[lawyer] Welcome to Allentown!
I did it again, didn't I?
Did I fall asleep?
Well, here we are.
Hey, boy, I'm Jack.
What's your name?
What's my name?
What's in that cage?
Skipper, huh? Hey, Mom,
the dog's name is Skipper.
[mom] Great.
Does he wanna help clean up?
What? No.
I'll let you two get acquainted.
Wait, you're just gonna leave me
here with this, uh, dog?!
OK, let me try something.
Uh, sit.
Hey, it works.
Hey, bud.
So, what do you think?
I think we should sell this
place as soon as possible.
There's a canoe
in the living room.
- Yeah.
- So, you're a cat, huh?
No, I'm a giraffe.
[Skipper] Wanna see the
basement? We have mice.
Well, I do like mice.
[Skipper] Come on.
Let's check it out.
I'll show ya.
Just down here.
But it's a pretty
nice town, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
What're you looking
at me like that for?
Look, there's, um...
...something I've been
meaning to tell you.
[gasps] What was that?
Uh, they said there might
be rats in the basement.
That sounds like a big rat.
That was the dog.
Oh, Chauncey.
Was that you making
all that racket? Come here.
[Chauncey] And I am
not cleaning it up.
Hey, check it out.
Look what I found.
Dog treats.
Let's crack this
bad boy open, Jack!
Hey there, Skipper.
What'd you find there, buddy?
I just told you, dog treats.
I don't know if you
wanna eat these, Skipper.
Contains propylene
glycol, arsenic,
and imported Soviet
cattle parts?
This bag is from 1973!
[Skipper] 1973!
Skipper, where are
you going, buddy?
[Skipper] Oh, boy, open
the door, open the door!
- I gotta go!
- Skipper?
Skipper, where are you going?
It's not gonna be pretty.
- Stay back, Jack.
- Skipper, wait up, bud.
Stay here if you know
what's good for you.
- Just trust me.
- Skipper, come on.
Who the heck are you?
Who the heck am I?
Who the heck are you?
I'm Jack.
This is, was my
Grandpop's place.
- What do you mean was?
- He, uh...
...passed away.
Oh, jeez.
- Sorry.
- What're you doing here?
Run, Twyla!
I can take him!
Run, before Old Man
Cragmore gets here!
Oh, hey, a dog!
Sorry about that. Fred here
is a little overprotective.
So what do you guys need?
Over the years we've lost a
lot of stuff over this fence.
Mr. Cragmore, your Grandpops,
would never give anything back.
- Ever.
- What kind of stuff?
Footballs, baseballs,
kites, basketballs,
my Baby Googie glider.
Baby Googie glider?
Sorry to sneak in like this.
We thought we could get in the
back without being noticed.
Let's go look in the shed.
Nothing here.
[mom] Jack!
I gotta go. I can check
in the basement later.
Who's that girl?
- Just a girl.
- She's cute.
it's pretty great here, hey?
Yeah, I guess so.
Can't you just
smell the fresh air?
OK, what's going on here, Mom?
Wouldn't it be
great to live here?
No, thanks, I'm
more of a city kid.
[air brakes release]
You're kidding me!
We're moving here?
You never said anything
about moving here!
- I hinted at it.
- I'm 12.
Hints bounce off me like
bullets off Superman.
Come on, Jack.
We've been in that tiny,
cramped apartment
in the city for so long.
It's not cramped.
You sleep on a
cot in the kitchen.
You know I like
breakfast in bed.
We need more space.
And we need a change.
But I like the apartment.
It's big enough!
For two people,
a cat, and now a dog?
The bank says I can transfer
my position to a branch here.
- If I pass the interview.
- But I like the city.
I like my school,
I like my friends.
- This is so unfair! [groans]
- Jack!
- [door opens]
- Take Skipper with you!
[door shuts]
That went well.
Why would anyone want to move
to a stupid, boring, small
town like this anyways?
What is Mom even thinking?
This is so lame.
Why would anyone
wanna live here?
Whoa, indeed.
- Who's that?
- That's what I'd like to know.
Mmm, that's premium dog food.
Side of Chewy Bones,
light tones of almond.
And if I'm not mistaken, you've
been drinking from the toilet.
Ew! That dog is sniffing
Mandy's butt!
Excuse me, can you please get that
animal away from Mandy's butt?
Uh, sorry, sorry.
That's just how they say hello.
Yeah, duh. I know that.
Why else would he be doing that?
Did that disgusting junkyard
animal scare you, sweetie?
Yeah, she did kinda
scare me a little.
Oh, you're talking to her.
Then that makes me the, uh...
[laughs] Imagine if
people said hello like that.
You know, like, sniffed
each other's butts.
That's gross.
You're gross.
No, I'm not. I'm Jack.
I just moved here.
- Yay for you.
- OK.
Um, that's a nice
bag you got there.
Where'd you get it?
The library?
- Smooth.
- Really?
This lame tote bag that my
mom got from work is nice?
- Do you want it?
- No, that's OK.
Yeesh. Tough room.
- Um, what's your name?
- My name?
It's stop talking to me.
What is that, French?
Who's she calling a
junkyard animal, anyway?
Oh, so suddenly this
town's not so bad.
[mom] Notice of eviction?
We're getting kicked out?
Sorry, Mom.
It's OK, I kinda
sprang this all on you.
I wasn't gone that long,
are you OK?
Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Storms Out In A Huff,
you have a job to do.
- I do?
- The basement is a disaster.
It needs to be
cleaned and organized.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Thanks.
Love you!
[door opens, shuts]
[sniffs] What is that smell?
Well, let's get to it.
[engine fires up]
[owl hooting]
[man] Gunther.
[man] Gunther.
Keep walking forwards,
you're so close!
- Yes!
- Sorry.
You look like a Ronnie.
I get that a lot.
- Yes.
- So have you acquired transportation?
- [car alarm goes off]
- Oh, oh, oh.
Ah, car alarms.
So obnoxious.
- Shh.
- Oh dear. Oh, no.
I got it, I got it.
- You got...
- That's the panic button!
- No, it's...
- I got it!
[alarm shuts off]
Ah, that's better.
Thank you.
I hope you have acquired
accommodations then.
Oh, accommodations.
Top notch!
They're never gonna
know we're there.
Perfect. OK.
And you're sure no one is home?
I checked it out.
The old guy croaked,
no family, no friends,
so the place is all ours.
It's gonna be like taking
candy from a kitten.
Wait, I thought you
take candy from a baby.
A baby? No. Kitten.
You take candy from a kitten.
But why would a kitten be
walking around with a candy?
Why would you give a baby candy?
It's unhealthy!
- It's delicious.
- Just take this!
Ah, yes. Baklava.
Let's do it!
You know,
you're shorter than I thought.
I'm short in photos.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
You go through the window, come
around and open the door for me.
But you're shorter than I am.
Yeah, but you're
taller than I am!
- I didn't really think about it that way.
- Right?
That makes sense a
lot with the physics...
Let's just do this!
Pardon me.
One more time.
Yeah, that's right.
What're you doing?
How do we know what
we're looking for?
A box with a key.
The old guy hid the treasure
somewhere in this house.
But how are we gonna find it?
Oh, sweet Ronnie,
that's what this is for.
Oh, boy!
- What is that?
- A scanner.
This is so exciting.
When we find the box
the scanner will change color.
The box is behind
the wall right here.
- Too much club.
- Just a little bit.
- [barking]
- [yelling]
Abort! Abort!
Go! Go!
Get out of here!
[Gunther] Ow, my toe!
Mom! Mom!
Jack! Jacky boy!
Is that you?
What's going on down here?
Can you smell that?
I smell schnitzel.
- Is that schnitzel?
- Jack?
- I think it's schnitzel.
- Jack, what's wrong? Are you OK?
I just saw two
guys go out of there!
- What?
- [Skipper] Ok, I'm smelling schnitzel somewhere.
There was two guys
in masks that just left.
[Skipper] Jack,
do you smell that?
- Anybody? Kim, come on.
- There's nobody here, Jack.
[Skipper] Have you
ever had fresh schnitzel?
There was just two guys.
[Skipper] Probably
my favorite meal.
Are you sure
it wasn't raccoons?
- [Skipper] Raccoons?
- Mom, it would have been really tall raccoons.
[Skipper] Spaghetti and
meatballs and schnitzel.
I do like spaghetti
and meatballs.
You don't believe me.
Oh, Jack. Come here.
Of course I believe you!
But why would two men in masks
wanna break into this dusty old,
well, actually,
not so dusty anymore,
thanks for dusting, basement?
I don't know, to steal
the old toaster oven?
Great, thank you
so much, officer.
I really, really appreciate it.
OK, goodnight.
What did they say?
They said we should change
the lock on the cellar door.
Not that there's any point.
What's going on?
I didn't want to tell you
until tomorrow but um...
I got some troubling news today.
Mom, come on.
It's gonna be OK.
We'll make the best of it.
Whatever it is,
we'll get through it.
Come on.
We're in this together.
I know.
You're right.
Now, what's the problem?
We're gonna lose our house!
Your mom didn't know about
this when you moved in?
No one told us.
Dude, this town is
like 1,000 years old.
The underground water
pipes are all rusted out.
They need to be
ripped out and replaced.
So why don't they just do it?
Well, it costs
millions of dollars
and the town just
doesn't have the money.
If the pipes don't get replaced
the government is gonna
come in and declare
this town is blighted and they're
gonna make everyone move.
What does that mean?
It's basically when they
declare the town is dead,
and they make everyone
pack up and ship out.
- That's terrible.
- Yeah. Welcome to my world.
So why do you think those
guys broke into your basement?
Maybe they lost some balls
over Mr. Cragmore's fence,
and wanted them
back like we did.
Fred, stop trying to help.
[gasps] Oh.
[laughs maniacally]
- What do you see?
- Nothing.
- I want to see!
- [choking]
Wow, who would have
thought that someone
would have moved in so soon
after the old guy croaked?
You, that's who.
You were supposed to know.
Oh, you're right,
you're right.
You got me there.
That was my bad.
Ugh, so dizzy.
[speaking German]
You know, it was
supposed to be easy.
Sneak into the basement
like the silent shadow,
break down that wall
like conquering army,
triumphantly steal that box
like high seas buccaneer.
- Yes!
- Voila!
Except all we have
is ein broken toe
because you cannot maintain
your grip on the hammer.
A broken toe?
You're not even limping!
Well, I am mentally disciplined
to ignore extreme pain.
- Ah.
- It's also how I contend with your filthy presence.
- Hmm?
- What is a schweinhund?
Well, it's German for pig dog.
I thought it was a compliment.
Oh, you will get no
compliments from me.
Only degradation and mockery
until we find that box.
- That's fair.
- We will go back tonight.
[laughs maniacally]
Oh, baby, daddy missed you!
Whoa, yeah!
[horn honks]
Hey, it's OK.
It's OK, we... we can get
you another one.
[Skipper] Wow, this kid's
taking this pretty hard.
Do you mean for real?
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
- We'll get another one.
What's that smell? [sniffs]
[Jack] Skipper,
where you going, boy?
Hey, guys, check this out.
Oh, right, sorry.
[clears throat]
- Was this here last night?
- Definitely not.
I cleaned this place last night.
What is it, Skipper?
Whatcha doing there, boy?
What do you think? I'm trying
to tell you something.
I think he's trying
to tell us something.
[Skipper] Jack, there's
something behind this wall.
There's definitely
something behind that wall.
[Skipper] You're a genius, kid.
My work here is done.
- Should we do it?
- Do it.
There's something back there.
It's a box.
It's got your name on it.
Well, you should
do the honors.
That's it?
I was expecting, like,
a treasure or something.
A key and...
what is this?
A box?
How do you open it?
It's a videotape, Jack.
Don't look at it! What if it's
cursed and seven days later
a long-haired girl
crawls out of your TV?
I watch a lot of horror movies.
You know what?
I think I can make
this thing work.
And that should do it.
Where did you
learn how to do that?
A/V club at school.
We still use videotapes.
We're poorly-funded.
Me there also, school.
[static buzzing]
That's my grandpa!
Jack. You found the box,
which means your old
Grandpops is a goner.
Don't worry,
I lived a good life.
I used to be a news cameraman.
Traveled the world,
met lots of people.
Most of them all jerks.
You and your mom are
the only folks I know
who aren't total jerks.
Like that one kid who
keeps bothering me
about his stupid glider!
- Shhh.
- Shhh.
Baby Googie, my butt.
Jack, years ago,
I was on an assignment
with this German reporter
lady in South America
and we made an
amazing discovery.
But there was problems.
She wanted to steal it
and I outfoxed her
and I got the treasure.
Then I hid it.
Why didn't he just cash
it in and live like a king?
- Quiet.
- Quiet.
You're probably wondering
why I didn't cash it in
and live like a king.
Because I'm not a greedy
idiot, that's why.
This is a long story.
I hid it somewhere
around this town.
So Jack, it's yours to find.
But be warned:
don't tell anyone,
especially a German woman,
that's for sure.
Not even your mother.
Grown-ups, even the ones
that mean well, are greedy!
If they find out about my
treasure they'll cash it in
before you can say, "That kid's
never getting his glider back!"
Yeah, well I did get
it back, you old coot!
- Quiet, Fred!
- Really, Fred, be quiet!
The first clue is...
Just kidding.
The clue is inside
the very first book
I ever read to you.
What's the first book
he ever read to you?
I... I don't remember.
Maybe your mom will know.
Let's go check.
You guys gonna be
OK while I'm out?
Yeah, we'll be fine.
Good luck at your interview.
Thank you.
Do I look OK?
[all] Yeah, you look good.
You look great.
If I could whistle, I would.
Do you remember Grandpops
ever reading me any books?
Yeah, he read to you all the
time when you were little. Why?
Well, the treasure...
Just curious.
He never read you
kids books though,
he thought kids
books were annoying
and he hated all
the stupid pictures.
Yeah, that sounds
like him alright.
He always read you stories
from this old travel
almanac he liked.
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Have you seen it anywhere?
No, but he did keep a
lot of books at his shop.
- Grandpops owned a shop?
- Yeah, he doesn't anymore
but he owned an antique
store over on Sierra Street.
- Come on, let's go.
- Well, wait, wait, wait.
He doesn't own it anymore.
That's OK, we're
just gonna take a look.
Did I just see a 12-year-old
get excited about antiques?
Don't judge,
it's just a phase.
I'm gonna take a nap.
I remember the book had something to do
with adventures or worlds or something,
but I do remember it had
an old leather bound cover.
Are we really gonna try
and find this treasure?
Yeah. Those guys broke into
my house looking for it.
We can't let them get
their hands on it.
What're you gonna
do with the treasure?
I don't know. I haven't thought
that far ahead yet.
- [coffee splashes]
- [ducks squawking]
[door rattles]
[Jack] Closed
until further notice?
Well, that was fun.
Let's go home.
It's not just closed,
it's completely locked up.
Whaddya suppose they're
doin' in that store?
I do not know.
But I'll bet it has something
to do with the treasure.
- Yeah.
- Let's go back to his house
and see if we can
find another clue.
That's a great idea, Gunther!
The city must
have shut it down.
But if the city shut it down
that means the city council
should still have keys, right?
Which means I have an idea.
Follow me.
That's Jennifer.
We were best friends
when we were little.
Oh, so that's her name.
- Oh, you met her?
- Yeah, kinda...
- Was she mean to you?
- Yeah.
- She's always mean to nerds.
- I'm not a nerd.
Then why wasn't
she nice to you?
Are you implying
that I'm a nerd?
Well, if she's only
mean to nerds, then...
Ok, how can she help us?
Her mom's a big shot.
Town councilor,
works for the mayor.
Librarian. She'll have a key
to that padlock.
Except we're kinda
total enemies now.
But I've got an
ace up my sleeve.
One second.
Well, if it isn't Twyla,
mistress of the dark.
Can I talk to you, Jen?
- Go ahead.
- Privately?
Do we have to go into a crypt?
Here is fine.
So, do you play any sports?
Beach volleyball.
Oh, there's
beaches around here?
No, no. I just meant volleyball
with a beach ball.
Oh, so you're in a league?
No, just with,
like, my friends.
Who? Twyla?
No, just, you know.
No, I don't know.
Isn't Twyla your only friend?
Well, yeah.
So who do you play
beach volleyball with?
Just me.
So long story short,
you own a beach ball.
Yep, that's about it.
- So no sports?
- Yep, I don't play any sports.
- That's cool.
- Mm-hmm.
Alright, we're
all set for tonight.
She'll meet us
there with the key.
Are you sure she'll show?
She looks mad.
[frustrated screams]
Yeah, she'll show.
I told her that if she didn't
I would show this to
all of her friends.
Yeah, we went through a
pretty serious mime phase.
You're evil.
Even the ones that
mean well are greedy.
They find out
about my treasure,
they'll cash it in
before you can say,
"That kid's never
getting his glider back!"
The first clue is...
Just kidding.
The clue is inside
the very first book
I ever read to you.
So what're we to do? We search
the house for the book?
No. The book must be
at the antique store
where the kids were.
But it's all locked up.
How're we gonna get in?
- Idiot!
- Ow!
I mean, we are devious
criminals! We just break in!
Ooooh, I get it!
- Ah.
- That's a great idea!
Well, I came up with it.
- Is it good?
- It's not bad.
May I have a piece?
Hey, Jackie Boy,
your girlfriend's here.
You never said he'd be here.
Nice to see you again, too.
Oh, oh, what was that?
Yep, definitely sarcasm.
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
Hi, Jennifer.
Why are you
talking to me, Fred?
Do you remember the rule?
There's no talking to Jennifer.
No talking to Jennifer?
That's a rule?
Right, sorry.
No talking to Jennifer.
I forgot the rule.
- Nice backbone, Fred.
- Thank you.
That's OK, Fred.
You've got my love.
OK, so just so we're clear,
if you guys get caught I
had nothing to do with this.
- Are you coming with us?
- To find some old book?
No thanks, Vampirella.
Fine, then give us the keys.
OK, I'm gonna need these back.
I'll be waiting
across the street.
Which one is it?
There's like 50 keys.
It's the one that
opens the lock. Duh.
So we're looking for a book?
- Yes.
- What kind of book?
We will know it
when we see it.
[doorbell chimes]
It must be those
meddling kids. And that dog!
[flashlight horn honks]
What do you need that for?
For pulling a heist. You pull a
heist, you bring a flashlight.
It's the rules of the street.
It's daytime, Fred.
[panicked mutters]
They're gonna hear us!
No kidding, swine monkey!
- Is that a compliment?
- Yeeeee, no.
Do you know the
title of the book?
Uh, it was Travel
World or Book or...
- I don't know.
- OK. Let's split up.
OK, boy, time to put that
nose of yours to work.
See if you can sniff out
Grandpop's scent in this place.
[sniffing] Well, this whole
place smells like Grandpops.
And that's not a good thing.
"How to Become a Mime
in Ten Easy Steps."
Hey, Twyla! I think I found
a book you might like!
If it's about mimes,
you're not funny.
Oh, baby.
"The Single Man's
Buttocks Work Out."
"Have a great butt in 90 days."
[flashlight honks]
"The Super Duper
World of Adventure."
Hey, Jack!
Jack, I've got something here about
Super Duper World of Adventure.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's the book!
Nice job!
Oh, no, that's bad.
That's very bad.
Call them, call them.
That's a good idea.
Hey, guys, I think
I found the book.
"Single Man's
Buttocks Workout."
- Yeah.
- Why do you have that?
No reason.
Twyla, Twyla.
I deleted Twyla.
Quick. We go.
[phone ringing]
Ooh, it's Jennifer.
There's somebody
in there with you.
Yeah, I know. Jack and Twyla
are in here with me.
Jennifer sure is pretty,
but she's not that smart.
I know, you monkey, OK?
There are two guys,
I just saw them in the window.
You'll have to call her back.
Hello, kiddies.
- The book, please.
- Uh, who are you?
Never mind who we are.
The important thing
is what we want.
The book. Now.
You. Little goth girl.
I love your whole look,
by the way.
Thank you. No one ever
compliments my style.
Oh, it's exquisite.
Pleasantries are concluded.
The book. Now.
Not a chance!
Show them we mean business.
You got it, Gunther.
Please don't hurt me,
I bruise easily.
Do it.
- Do what?
- Fool.
Give him a wedgie, like the
bullies probably gave you
when you were a sad
little schoolboy.
Sorry about this, kid.
It's OK, I get
them all the time.
- I'll take that.
- Good boy, Skipper. Run!
You handle the kids,
I'll get the dog!
Got it! Come here!
Who turned out the lights?!
The lights are out
and I'm scared.
Gunther? Gunther?
Where are you?
I'm gonna get you kids!
Meddling little...
I got you.
I can hear you out there.
Come on, you wanna fight?
Let's go!
I've got you now!
You puny-brained
little animal!
Puny brained? Who are you
callin' puny-brained?
You are trapped.
And this is why you are on
the bottom of the food chain
and I am on the top.
Yeah, yeah.
Top of the food chain.
Gunther, help me!
Whoa, what was that?
That was one of them kids.
I got you now!
Woooah! Yah!
I smell kids.
- I got you.
- The book, please.
Oh, are you sad? Huh?
Boo hoo, I lost.
[Skipper] Oh, this
is so humiliating.
- The book.
- Oh, OK.
I give up. You win.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
The day is ours, Ronnie!
I have liberated the book
from that puny-brained animal!
Where's the German guy?
He has the book.
I got it right here.
I switched the books.
Ha! I got you now, you kids!
- [toy squeaks]
- Aaaah!
[banging and crashing]
[Ronnie] What happened?
That was a lot of stairs.
What have they done to you?
It's OK, buddy.
I have the book!
"Single Man's
Buttocks Workouts!"
Why would Grandpops read this
to a little boy?
I've been outsmarted
by a canine!
You got that right!
It doesn't taste like schnitzel.
[sirens wailing]
[tires screech]
[officer] OK, kids.
Hold it right there.
Hello, officer!
OK, if anyone asks
I'm Fido McSniffy.
- [Gunther] Ronnie!
- [Ronnie] Gunther!
What happened? My head is
swollen and I can't see!
The cops have showed up.
The kids must have
triggered the alarm.
I can't go back to prison.
You can't let them take me!
[globe gongs]
Oh! Oh, oh, I hit
the mother country!
I'm so sorry, Germany!
Yes, ah, Berlin.
Come on! We must go!
Come on.
Stupid dog. My hind quarters
are in a great deal of pain.
No. This way. Come on.
Come on, grab my jacket.
Follow me.
Like a conga line.
What is that?
What is she holding?
That, my friend, is an M387
World War I 37mm shell case.
Also known as the
pom pom in France.
The problem is it's
covered in grease.
That thing is filthy!
[Chauncey] It was
discovered in Greece?
[Skipper] No, not Greece.
France. Weren't you listening?
- Yeah, look, there you go.
- What were you thinking?
There's the grease. See?
It's all over her hands.
- Um.
- Um?
That's all you have
to say for yourself?
But Mom, if we find Grandpop's
treasure, we'll be fine.
We won't ever have
to worry again.
[chuckles] Wait, wait.
I'm the new kid here.
Uh, but are you guys seriously
looking for treasure?
Like when we were kids
and we used to play pirates?
No. Real treasure.
- What's going on?
- Jack and the kids broke into the store,
got busted by the 5-0.
- I'm bored already.
- Ugh, cats.
OK, Jack. I hate to have to
tell you this but
your grandfather was a
little on the crazy side.
But why would he go
to all the trouble to...
To hide the...
Look, sometimes lonely old
people do nutty things.
[all snickering]
This is hardly a
laughing matter, Jack.
[all giggling]
Uh, Kim, you got a little something
just underneath your, uh,
just above your lip there.
- What am I gonna do with you?
- But Mom, this is our chance.
- Stop laughing!
- [kids giggling]
We could get enough money
to move back to the city
and leave this stupid town!
Oh, no you didn't.
Stupid town?
Wait, Twyla, I didn't
mean it that way.
Come on, Fred.
Let's go home.
Do you need a ride home?
We can walk.
Come on, Fred.
It was nice talking on
the phone earlier, Jennifer.
Young lady, will you
please hold onto this for me?
Yes, ma'am.
And no matter
how much Jack begs
do not give that back to him.
I am tired of all this
treasure nonsense.
- But Mom...
- Enough, Jack.
I'll deal with you once
you've walked Jennifer home.
[Chauncey] Ugh, I can't look.
Does she still have that
stuff all over her face?
Yes. Yeah, she does.
I hope you're proud, Ronnie.
Bested by a small dog
and a cheap globe.
Oh, yeah?
Well, at least I'm not the one
that lost a game of
keep away to three kids.
I would have
triumphed in keep away
if I had not had to babysit a
jabbering nincompoop like you.
I don't even know why you
were hired to assist me
on this endeavor
in the first place.
Well, neither do I.
I just got a call out of nowhere
to go help this
weird German guy.
You dare call me weird?
You are a mindless worm crawling
in the primordial
slime compared to me.
And why must we reside
in this shoddy pup tent?
We're on a covert
mission, Gunther.
The tent is the best way to
hide without being detected.
[doorbell rings]
That must be our pizza.
- You got thin crust, right?
- Of course. I'm not a savage.
- Mama!
- Gunther.
- Oh, and you must be Ronnie.
- That's me, I'm Ronnie.
- Come to me, Ronnie!
- Uh, ok.
- Mmmm.
- Okay, alright.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- Do you know who I am?
Uh, the lady what
hired me for this job?
And I am also your mother.
- What?!
- Ya.
Gunther, this is your
American step-brother.
From when I lived in New Jersey.
I had to give him up for adoption
when I had to flee the country.
The FBI, the CIA, and Walmart
security were after me.
- I had to run.
- Well, yeah.
[soft guitar music]
Oh, my brother
Something has been
missing in my life
Now you're here I can
finally see the light
Oh, my brother,
my best friend
I'll always
be there for you
I'll always
be there for you
Right 'til the end
My brother!
OK, yeah.
This is a lot to process.
Come here, bro!
Oh, it's so much fun!
I can see my house.
Could you at least
let me look at the book
until we get back to your place?
I'm not crossing your mom.
If she told my parents
what I did I'll be dead.
So what happened
to you and Twyla?
You used to be best friends.
Yeah, when we were little.
And then I got into
clothes and make-up
and she got into weird
clothes and freaky make-up.
But you used to have
so much in common,
like pretending to be
pirates and the art of mime.
Shut up. She did not show you
that video, did she?
Your stuck in a box
trick was amazing.
Really. It moved me.
Yeah, we thought we were
gonna be world famous mimes.
Doesn't every kid?
So, what about you?
You really think you're gonna
find some old Spanish treasure
hidden by your grandpappy?
It's Grandpops, and yes, I do.
Well, you know that's
impossible, right?
No, it's not. Why do you think
those guys came after us?
Um, ever heard
of security guards?
You know what your problem is?
You have no imagination.
You only care about
hair and clothes.
And that's it.
And that's boring.
Yeah? Well at least
I'm not delusional.
Well, at least my best
friend isn't make-up.
Well, at least my
best friend isn't a dog!
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah!
Well, at least I'm
not a terrible mime!
Grandpops Cragmore hid that
treasure from me for 30 years.
Once he passed away...
Not now, sweetie.
...and I found his obituary
online, I knew where to look.
Tell me, did you find the box?
No, but his grandkid did.
There was a movie
in it with a clue! A book!
- Did you obtain the book?
- No.
That sniveling cretin
of a boy has it!
We shall get that book, mama.
I will start a campaign
of surveillance,
infiltration, and extraction,
and steal that book right from
under that boy's
snotty little nose!
Nein, nein.
There's a better way.
Yeah, Ma's got a better way.
Wait, you're
calling her Ma now?
I call you bro.
[speaks German]
I cannot believe
I have a brother!
Shut up, dummkopfs.
Let me think.
- You got anything?
- Ma?
- How about now?
- Anything?
- How about now?
- Now?
How about now?
You want a thinking marshmallow?
- Not now, sweetie.
- Ow.
[rooster crows]
Fred? Fred?
Hey, Fred.
Are you actually
talking to me?
Yeah, you're the
only Fred around here.
Well, Fred Bellson's
over there.
What I meant to say was,
why are you talking to me?
- You hate me.
- OK, I don't hate you, Fred.
I just, I have cool friends
who rag on me when I,
- you know, talk to...
- Nerds?
Yeah, like my old friends.
Anyway, I'm trying
to get a hold of Jack
but I don't think he'll
talk to me anymore
and I don't even know how
to approach Twyla, so...
What's up?
OK, remember that book that you
guys stole from the store?
Oh, you kept it.
That's amazing!
- That's great...
- No, I didn't.
I returned it to the store.
I'm a good person.
Oh, man.
This dream's totally over.
We could have saved the
whole town with that book.
- Really?
- That's what Twyla and I were hoping.
I'm not so sure
about Jack, though.
Well, I was looking
through it last night.
I noticed something.
- Let's go tell the others.
- OK.
[Fred] Hey, what about me?
- Not you!
- Oh.
[door opens]
[Fred] Jack?
You down here?
What're you guys doing here?
[Twyla] I wish I knew.
OK, you guys need to see this.
Jennifer found
something in that book.
- What, fashion tips?
- [Skipper] Ooh.
Oh, shut up,
mistress of the dark.
- Oh, that's a burn.
- At least I'm not an illiterate princess.
- Oh, that's a double burn!
- Why are you such a jerk?
- Why are you such an airhead?
- [Skipper] Scorched.
OK, forget it.
This was a stupid idea.
Wait, wait, wait.
You came all this way.
What did you find?
OK. So I was looking through
the book that you guys stole
and there are a few words
highlighted throughout the pages.
We knew that.
OK, well did you
know what words?
"Hurry the heed,
bell and seat, to your."
Wow. Hurry the heed,
bell and seat, to your.
Jennifer, you cracked it!
Oh. Wait.
No, you didn't.
OK, well I just thought you guys
might know what it means.
Can I see that?
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
If you scramble
the words it says,
"Heed the bell and
hurry to your seat."
It probably means
something about school.
And everybody told me
dyslexia was a bad thing.
Sure worked here.
- What?
- Fred, you're a genius!
You solved it.
Now let's go find the treasure.
Sorry, no. I'm not
breaking into some school
just so Jack here
can strike it rich.
Um, I thought that we were
trying to save the town.
We were.
Jack is trying to leave town.
I'd help but
Twyla's my friend. Sorry.
At least I still
have you, Skipper.
Uh, I need to return some
books to the video store.
So these are the
schools in the area.
Which one is it?
He knows we're watching
and he's waiting.
He's a crafty little devil.
He's playing the waiting game!
What is the waiting game?
You know, where he
waits for us to give up
and then he goes in
and gets the treasure.
But we're not giving up!
Don't give our position away!
We must move soon.
No more spying.
- We must take action.
- Yeah!
Thankfully, I have a plan.
No more waiting
game for us, hey, Mama?
[laughs maniacally]
Stop that, you're scaring me!
[Skipper] Jack.
Jack, you gotta come upstairs.
Your mom seems pretty upset.
Jack? Hello?
Here, I'll sit for ya.
Jack. Hey, buddy.
Jack? Your mom.
Will you come upstairs with me?
Jack? Oh, right. I'm a dog.
I keep forgetting.
[clears throat]
What is it, Skipper?
What is it, boy?
- Mom?
- [sniffles] Hey, bud.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
You're crying.
I'm not crying,
don't be silly.
I um...
I thought this place would be
a new start for us, you know?
I was a fool to give up
everything for this place.
It's OK, Mom.
It doesn't matter
where we wind up.
As long as we're together,
we're home.
Come here.
Thank you.
What if there was a way for
us to pay for fixing the town
so that we could stay here?
That would take a miracle.
- Or Spanish treasure.
- [sighs] Not that again, Jack.
Let me try to find it. You said
yourself it's safe here.
So at least let me try, please?
- Alright.
- Yes!
But no breaking
and entering, OK?
What is that smell?
I think I smell steak.
That's impossible.
It's the middle of the night.
Oh, man, that sure smells
like steak, though.
That's impossible. Steaks don't
appear out of no... Oh, oh!
Eat it, doggie.
A steak magically
appearing in the back yard.
That's never happened before.
It's a delicious steak.
Oh, this is too
good to be true.
I'm not eating that.
Then again, free steak.
Eat it!
What's wrong with this thing?
I don't know! This is every
dog's dream come true!
I'd have to be stupid to eat
that. There is no way someone
would just throw a perfectly
good steak in the back yard.
It's gotta be a trick.
Do you think he knows it's
stuffed full of tranquilizers?
It's probably stuffed
full of tranquilizers.
No! No.
He's just a stupid dog.
Nitwit animal won't comply with
Mama's scheme to sedate him.
Let's just grab him!
Ooh, random back yard steak.
It's all my dreams coming true.
I would not eat that.
- I think it's a trick.
- Yeah, sure it is.
- You snoozed, you losed.
- OK, fine. Knock yourself out.
Never send a boy
to do a man's job.
Stay here.
You keep eating that,
I'll take care of those two
guys behind the barrels.
- I believe in you.
- Thank you.
- I got it!
- Yes!
[Ronnie] I got him, I got him,
I got him, I got him.
Very good, brother!
You have a real talent
for the dognapping.
Well, I was a
dog-catcher in Jersey.
- One of the best in town.
- It makes sense.
Great job, guys.
You've caught ein kitty!
You're a kitty-napper!
You know, you've been a
lot nicer to me ever since
we found out we were brothers.
Well, of course, bro.
Oh, I got a great idea.
This is gonna be good.
This is gonna be so great.
These guys are
gonna be in for it.
We need to find that dog.
Whaddya got?
Whaddya got, Gunther?
- Not now, I'm thinking.
- Whaddya got?
Just gonna wedge
this down there. OK.
Here we go. [chuckles]
Turn this on here.
- And that should do it.
- [water running]
- Gunther?
- I said not now!
Uh, yeah, but Gunther,
your pants.
- Gunther?
- What?
Your pants.
[pants rip]
Nice undies.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
[Skipper] Uh-oh.
Oh, what the heck!
[Skipper yells]
And that is why you never
send a boy to do a man's job.
[Skipper] Hey, man,
get me outta here!
Skipper? Skipper!
[Twyla speaking with German accent] "If
you want to see your dog alive again
you will find the treasure
and give it to us.
Once you have it, await
further instruction."
How will they
know if we have it?
Do you think
they're watching us?
[Ronnie] Huh?
What are those kids doing?
They're sitting!
And, and... they're talking!
- So can you guys help me?
- You need to call the police.
But if we call the police,
they'll take the treasure.
Remember what Grandpops said?
Grown-ups are greedy.
Yeah, like these dog-nappers.
You know, I bet it's the school
they closed down years ago.
I probably have a key for it.
My mom has the
key to everything.
- Which one is it?
- Um, I think it's this one.
Let me see!
How did these three
buffoons capture me?
Let me see!
- Oh.
- Give them back!
Give them back.
There. Yeah. I see.
Look, I'm sorry for what
I said about the town.
I never asked to move here
and I was mad about it
but now that you
guys are my friends,
at least I hope you're
my friends, I wanna stay.
Well, how can you if these
creeps get the treasure?
Well, I'm not gonna go to
all that trouble to find it
and then just hand it
over to them.
- Do you have a plan?
- No, I'm making it up as I go.
That doesn't exactly
inspire confidence.
But I'll still help you.
- Yeah.
- Let's help.
[Ronnie] They're leaving!
The game is afoot.
[laughs maniacally]
Don't do the evil laugh.
You sound like a psycho.
You really think so?
That's right, kids.
Lead us right to the treasure!
[speaks German]
Mama, we can't go any faster.
We'll pass them.
- Good point.
- Details.
This place is creepy.
It's a lot creepier
with teachers.
How long ago did
they close this place?
Before we started
going to school.
Well, where should we look?
Well, the clue said heed the
bell and hurry to your seat
so I think we should
check a classroom.
What're you doing?
No treasure in here.
If there were only
some kind of clue.
Wait a sec.
Let's follow the arrow.
[tires screech]
[Ronnie grunts]
Gunther, watch mein heel.
[Ronnie] OK.
[Gunther] Don't worry, Mama.
We'll get it all.
[bike bell rings]
[woman] Remember the plan.
Right! Get the clue.
[bike bell rings]
Heed the bell
and hurry to your seat.
Well, I'm in my seat.
Now what?
[Twyla] Maybe someone
else got to it first.
I hope, for your sake,
the last moments of your life
aren't spent in this box.
You need a mint.
I think Twyla was right.
Nothing here.
Maybe it's in this envelope.
- It's got your name on it.
- Let me see!
[all] "Go to the home
of the clapping hands?"
We followed you!
Once again the adults
outsmart the children.
Yeah, real smart, pal.
Now where's my dog?
Oh, you're never
gonna find him,
'cause we got him locked
in the trunk of our car!
- Really?
- I am so sorry.
- That one's on me.
- Yeah.
I'm running out of
patience with you, young man.
- Where is it?
- There's nothing here.
All we found was another clue.
Give it to me.
After them!
Looks like your friends
have abandoned you.
Oh, boo-hoo. I'm so sad.
You don't scare me.
I could take you.
You want to fight me?
I don't fight with children.
[chuckles] Chicken.
No, thank you. I've already
had a complete breakfast.
- I am full.
- No, I'm calling you a chicken.
In my homeland
that is a compli...
[groans] My nose!
Ahh! Ohh.
Ah, you think you can pummel me
into submission with those balls?
Think again.
I am captain of the German
National Dodgeball team.
Three time world champion!
If dodgeball was
an Olympic event
I'd have like three gold meda...
No! No!
No! Oh!
Look, I've been thinking
and I'm sorry I've been
so stuck up lately, Twyla.
What're you talking about?
I'm trying to
apologize to you.
Well, I might not
get a chance later.
- Well, I'm...
- Just go in here.
I'm the one who's sorry.
I was just as stuck
up as you were.
It's not your fault,
you made new friends.
Yeah, but I shouldn't
have let them tell me
who I can be friends with.
- And I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
And by the way, I think
you look really cool.
Thank you.
And you dress really nice, too.
- I know.
- See, that is so nice.
You know, I just
reconnected with my brother
so I know exactly what
you're going through.
I was being nice!
You've got nothing!
What do you have?
Cat-like reflexes.
Get that out of my house!
That is enough!
I got you now.
[chuckling maniacally]
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, I'm so pretty.
You didn't even give me a
chance to stretch my hamstrings!
Now for the creme de la creme.
You think these are
going to defeat me?
You are not as smart...
[all] Are you guys OK?
- We're fine.
- Are you good?
Yeah. Let's get out of here, OK?
I have the clue.
- OK, let's go.
- Let's go.
[Skipper] Oh, hey kids.
What happened to you?
I don't wish to talk about it.
- Ronnie.
- I... I went for a little ride.
Oh, those monsters.
And the treasure?
It turns out it
was another clue.
Grandpops proves to be
a wily opponent,
even from beyond the grave.
Sounds like a buffoon.
[Ronnie chuckles]
The game is over, kinders.
The papers.
Give us the papers.
- I don't have it.
- Vat?
I mean, what?
My accent is rubbing
off on you, bro.
- I have it.
- Don't give it to her.
If you want to get
your little doggie back,
you will give me the papers.
Skipper, are you OK, boy?
[Skipper] Well, she smelled
a little but I'm fine.
Now, we leave.
[laughing manically]
Ha, ha!
We win again, losers!
[all laughing]
We have it.
- Just one second.
- I can't reach it.
Can you reach it for me?
Very economical!
[horn honks]
- Ha!
- Ha!
[Ronnie] To the right!
I mean left.
- Are you OK, Skipper?
- Yeah, I'm fine, Jack.
- Thanks.
- OK.
It'll take them a while
to figure out the clue
so if we haul tail then
we can get there first.
What was that gibberish?
Go to the home of
the clapping hands?
What does that even mean?
Follow me.
[tires screech]
All we have to do is find this home
of the clapping hands and we're rich!
- Oh, yes!
- [laughing] Yeah!
So where do you suppose
this place could be?
Home of the clapping pants?
- Hands!
- What?
Your accent is
so strong, Mama.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the home
of clapping hands.
[Twyla] The theater!
Oh, I get it. Applause.
[Skipper] Hey, it's
pretty dark in here.
Hey, guys, someone
should probably see
if they can get
these lights to work.
[Twyla] Let me see if I
can get the lights to work.
[Skipper] Oh, thanks.
Thanks, Twyla, you're a peach.
Ah, there you go.
That's better.
So this must be the
home of clapping hands.
Clapping hands must
mean the audience, right?
So the clue must
be in the seats?
- Let's spread out and find it.
- Yeah.
Someone's here.
The mannequin hand
factory was a bust.
This is the only other place
where there would
be clapping hands.
[Ronnie] What about a
flamenco dance studio?
That's a good one, bro.
- Hide!
- [Gunther] Yes, absolutely.
I'll just hide back here.
They'll never spot me here.
Thank you.
Search the theater!
And if by chance those kids
appear, you know what to do.
- Um...
- [growls]
You know what to do.
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Well, I...
[speaks German]
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Ya?
We take the treasure from 'em!
- That's right!
- Yes!
Sweet, sweet Ronnie.
Now, go!
Pardon me. [chuckles]
"The Cameraman and the
Sneaky German Reporter Lady?"
[phone alerts]
It's Jack.
- He found another clue.
- OK!
Oh, someone's there!
We should hide.
[cymbal clangs]
I got you now!
Up you get.
After you, ladies.
To the right!
I mean left.
[phone alerts]
Oh, sweet, Jack
found something.
Geez, impatient much?
Well, he has a point.
Gunten-hello, little boy.
Get on there.
Come on, right there.
There's no running.
Come on.
[machine powers on]
Well, well, well, young man.
Looks like you have the treasure
and we have your friends.
OK, these kids are in trouble.
I've gotta do something.
I will give you to the count
of drei to give it to us.
I've got to do something.
Don't get excited,
don't get excited.
Be calm.
Don't wanna fall asleep.
Eins, two. Drei!
[power shuts down]
[bright music]
[distorted voice]
Let my friends go.
[normal voice] Whoa.
[distorted voice]
This is so cool.
[normal voice] Bow.
[distorted voice] Bow.
[normal voice] Fred.
[distorted voice]
I am your father.
I have a very particular
set of skills.
OK, enough, kid.
I think you're milking
this a little too much.
I won't let them go 'til
you give me the treasure!
You're making a big mistake.
We have your friends.
[distorted voice]
This is your last warning.
- Who are you to warn us?
- Yeah.
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
[smoke hissing]
Oh, you come back!
- Ronnie!
- Ronnie!
[high-pitched feedback buzzing]
Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I gotta,
I gotta do something.
Man, that smoke looks dangerous.
My eyes!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
OK, here we go!
Three, two, one.
Are you guys OK?
- Yeah, yeah, we're OK.
- We're fine, we're fine.
- Where's the treasure?
- Right here.
- A poster?
- The treasure is a poster?
- It's another clue, isn't it?
- I guess you could say that.
Not so fast.
Whatever that is, give it to us.
Or else what?
It appears the dog does not
do too well with the smoke.
- Let him go!
- Not until you give us that clue!
But first, one more thing.
And what would that be?
He called me.
[police radio chattering]
[groans] Darn it.
[sighs] Not again.
I did not see this one coming.
Oh, buddy, are you OK?
- Come on, Skipper, wake up.
- Skipper, please.
- Oh, buddy.
- I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize the
smoke would hurt you.
Come on. You don't want to miss us
finding the treasure, do you, pal?
Oh, Jack.
Oh, hey!
- Skipper!
- [Skipper] Did I save the day?
I did, I saved the day.
Didn't I, huh?
- I didn't?
- You're OK!
[Skipper] I slept.
Did I fell asleep?
I did? I'm sorry.
You kids should have
told me about those guys.
They had Skipper.
Who knows what they
could have done to him.
Oh, I think Skipper
can take care of himself.
Oh, I think old Skipper
knows how to take
care of himself.
- So, let's see the clue.
- Yes, come on.
- Let's see it, come on.
- I wanna see it.
I remember Grandpops
telling me about this!
He said it was a huge hit!
But how is that a clue?
[all] It's in the shed?
[Skipper] Oh, it's
petty dark in here, guys.
OK, OK. Let's spread out
and find this thing.
Treasure, treasure.
Where is the treasure?
Here we go. Oh, yeah,
what've we got over here?
What's this?
[sniffing] Ugh!
I don't know what that is but
someone should throw it out.
Wait, what've we got over here?
Hey, that's my old Frisbee.
I've been looking for that.
What's this?
Hey, what'd you guys find?
That's Grandpop's trunk.
Jack, try your key.
Oh, biscuits!
It's just a bunch of
old film equipment.
[flashlight honks]
Those aren't the kind with
the chocolate inside, right?
Looks like you kids
just saved the town.
Whew, do not go in there.
I think this is the life.
We should live here permanently.
Hey, guys, nice set-up.
I like it.
But I was just
talking to the mayor
and he said that he would
spring for a fancy hotel
'cause you guys, you know,
saved the town and everything.
- What do you say?
- Hmm, I'm OK.
- We're good.
- We can stay here.
- [Fred] Yeah.
- I would like to go to the hotel,
especially if it's fancy.
Sorry, Jen, I think
you're out-voted.
But, on another note, I just
came from the lawyer's office
and it turns out Grandpops
left another surprise for Jack.
But you're only allowed to
open it on one condition.
Are you ready for
another adventure?
Should we do it?
- [kids] Yeah.
- Good.
Jack, I wouldn't.
Don't open that box.
- Don't open that...
- [box unlocks]
Oh, man.