Trillberry Murders (2024) Movie Script
(alarm beeps) (ominous music)
- [Alarm] Front door open.
(door creaks)
- Hey, I just got back to the house,
(indistinct)
(ominous music continues)
(alarm beeps)
- [Alarm] Back door open.
(upbeat music)
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me, make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am, look at me
Guys, drive me crazy 'cause they lazy
There's a privilege, they don't see slavery
Not a hater, not a sexist
I'm just questioning guys and their motives
Things they're doing for themselves
And the name too
Yeah, they reach out to men
What's the truth, bro
Where's the
Take my advice, are you feminist, there's that
Do whatever, say whatever
To be seen, to be heard, to be clever
Shh, let me speak, boy
You didn't let me finish my sentence
And this is the problem
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am, look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me here I am, look at me
Imma preach now, got a speech now
So sit down, be quiet while I teach ya
How to listen, a whole wisdom
Don't open your mouth until I give you permission
How about you instead of taking space
Start making space
Give back what you got
Leave your seat, save a spot
For someone you proudly say you care for
This is the problem with your tendencies
Keep telling me you are feminist
But you still wanna benefit from women working
But they never get paid
I'm sure you make sure you gonna get laid
Ain't gonna work, boy
No guys
Ain't gonna work, boy
Fuck this feminist guys
Say you wanna work boy
Please just take my advice
Step back, sit down, shut up
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am
Look at me
Ain't gonna work, boy
No guys
Ain't gonna work, boy
Fuck this feminist guys
Say you wanna work, boy
Please just take my advice
Step back, sit down, shut up
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am
Look at me, notice me
See me, here I am
(alarm beeps)
- [Alarm] Back door open.
(ominous music)
(lock clicks)
So you think what we have is a brand new start
But we're good as dead before tomorrow comes
Only things that we got to glue this shit up
Is your toxic attitude and that nice big
So you picked up, I left
Look how fast I forget
Got me jewels, shaved my pet
I like to call her Beck
Now my pussy feel rich just like Beckham Palace
Now that you're gone, I got no duties on my list
When you get hungry, that's when you come closer
Bottle my milk, mum This is time for closure
You want what you want, now that must be awful
But please pull up your pants, no offense
Won't be dancing in rice
I'm not telling you twice
Noting you can do to make things right
I'm a Gemini
I'm a Gemini
With my Gemini rights
I'm a Gemini
I'm a gem
With my Gemini rights
Sitting all alone on your crack back
Hoping for some cash back
to bargain off the flesh light
Dave, Stu all day lacking talent
But you got your parents
So proud of how you manage the day
Everybody lonely in this goddamn city
Goddamn city got me pity all the pretty
So I'm getting high in a room full of hippies
Goddamn hippies
We got no rules
Only Gemini rights
(water rushing)
(upbeat music)
(ominous music)
(footsteps pattering)
(ominous music continues)
- [Alarm] Front door open.
(door slams)
- 10 years, we have won best feature film.
Heck, during that 10 years,
we probably swept the entire season and categories.
Then three years ago it all stopped.
Now what happened three years ago?
- Budget cuts, tuition hikes.
The rise of the Cheeto, low student enrollment,
the brand new fancy ass multimedia facility over-
- All right, enough,
The thing that happened was we hired you.
I never wanted to hire you,
but the board felt that after losing Juan Santiago
to West Hill community
and their new multimillion dollar facility,
we should hire you, the runner up
at some podunk film festival in Utah.
And a letter of recommendation
from the film world's biggest Oscar winning hermit.
I had Dr. Marigold O'Malley, the BAFTA winning genius.
The only woman who refused
a knighthood from the Queen
because she didn't wanna be
in the same room as J.K. Rowling.
You know where this program could be?
Eh, save it.
This year, I have the board on my side.
You will bring us a win
or you will no longer be
employed by this institution.
Who have you chosen for
this year's creator and director?
- Well, this year,
I have the most influential director of our time,
Oscar J Evans.
- I'll have to see if our
college can afford the insurance
of having a train wreck of a director like that
as a professor on this campus.
- Oh, but he doesn't have to be a professor.
The rules state that as long
as there is an accredited
educational professional
overseeing the program, anyone can direct.
- Well, will he even do it though?
He hasn't been seen since The Chosen
and that whole serial killer ordeal.
God, those were dark days.
You know I used to be the house manager
at Trillberry Players back in the day.
Anyway, if you want OJ on the loose,
that's your decision.
It's not my ass on the line.
Anyway, I forgot to mention
that I gave up your classroom
to the varsity eSports team as their lounge.
Look like they're gonna be pretty good.
They may even get a gold controller
so you can float classrooms this semester.
(phone rings)
Now get outta here.
You loser energy is infecting my office.
Hello?
What's that dude's name?
I can't remember his name.
Hold on, hold on. Stay there.
Oscar J Evans.
(upbeat music)
- You can really chase the Trill in this beer.
- I don't think they use real Trillberry.
- Really? You think they went artificial?
- Yeah, I think they used that beaver anal gland stuff.
- Oh, I've had that before. It's not too bad.
- It tastes better than you.
- Does he have to do that right now?
Is this really necessary?
- Is anything really necessary?
Plus, now that he's back in school,
he has less time to clean.
- Does anybody not see a problem with this?
- I gave my childhood for you and America's enjoyment.
So what does a child prodigy do in his adulthood
except enjoy his childhood?
You missed a spot.
- You know I was in that show too.
- Who was the star of that show?
Not Jerry the pudgy. It was OJ Evans, baby.
And who in this room has three Oscars?
- Three Oscars. You sold two of 'em to pay for this.
- You know what's crazy?
The dean of the school talking about diversity
and only scheduling one
ethnic studies class, literally one.
I thought this was the year I
didn't have to work at Tito's.
- Ah, but who would bring easy, tasty burritos?
- Okay, burrito king, you're gonna help me
with the project or not?
- Oh, please, Oscar J Evans, make my 10 years
of school worth nothing by teaching film
at the world's crappiest college.
- Guest directing, not teaching.
And I'm sure you've come up with something
in your 15 year hiatus.
- I've come up with a lot of things,
but nothing anyone deserves to see.
- Hey Elliot, how much does he pay you per week?
- About 500.
- About 500 a week.
I only see one more Oscar left over there, buddy.
- How much does this gig pay again?
- Enough to keep him happy.
I'll see you Monday.
- He is on a white privilege.
- I'm working at a burrito place to feed my cats.
My cats hate Mexican rights.
- What up, bitch?
- Exposition sucks, but it is necessary.
That is Selena.
She's been my ride or die ever since we were
in the same catechism class.
Her parents are making her
take community college courses
before we go away.
But let's be honest,
our parents didn't save enough money early on
and now they're damaging
our educational aspirations
because of it.
I don't even think they actually even want us
to get our degrees.
I think they're hoping
that we'll change our mind once we realize
how poor we're gonna be.
But just look at her.
No, I mean it. Really look at her.
She is a fearless lesbian champion.
That there, that is the thirst trap of this movie.
- Yo. Not cool.
- No, seriously.
I mean, Ryland's been my
confusion ever since second grade.
I mean, one day he looked at me
and then bam, I was bisexual
or at least maybe.
Honestly, I'm not even really sure.
I mean, technically I-
(bed creaks)
- Virgin, come on.
Can't be late to intro to film
or whatever stupid class you convince me to take.
- There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
- Fuck yeah, there is.
So excited for this story, right?
- You're not even into girls.
- Can't be drunk enough.
- Not cool.
Come on, let's go.
- Hey Cameron, (bottle rattling)
want some courage?
- Ryland, you know he doesn't drink.
(upbeat music)
- Teach at a community college, they say.
Come direct a movie, they say.
Well, what the fuck am I gonna direct?
- Excuse me, sir. Can't be smoking that over here.
Excuse me, sir. Can't be smoking that over here.
- Do you know the fuck I am?
- It don't matter.
- I
am fucking O.J. Evans.
Put it somewhere nice.
- Intro to Smartphone Filmmaking and...
A four hour class?
What the fuck, Cameron?
Four hours. What is this class anyways?
- It's a double class because of the lab.
We're gonna shoot films on our phone
and then enter them into film festivals.
- I already know how to shoot films with my phone.
Honestly thought my phone would be going
off nonstop by now.
I hear the bathrooms here are topnotch.
- We all know you were the first to break them in.
Okay, I have to go.
- What other classes are you taking?
- Ethics studies and erosion of equity.
The teacher is a legit activist.
- Hey Cameron, you want to go break into new bathrooms?
- [Selena] And there he is.
- Shut up. It's the first day.
And you can say that I'm crazy
That you're thinking I'm ready
But I'm telling you baby
Get up and get out Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
- I haven't seen Angel since I
fucked his boyfriend at prom.
I think he's still mad at me.
- Okay, if this movie had a budget, we'd flash back
to prom, but we don't.
So instead, I'll spill the tea
while you watch this video
of Ryland in his underwear eating some chocolate.
It's senior prom
and Selena and Ryland and I decide to go together
as the three musketeers that we are.
Ryland insisted on flying solo since it's better
for his ability to scour the field.
I swear, with the invention of
prep came the second coming
of the sexual revolution.
But I mean, look at him.
God, he even makes chocolate looks like a sin.
- Your generation is really ugly in person.
- Okay, for anyone who doesn't know who this is-
- Please, if you're a founder, you know who this is.
- I thought that was you.
I couldn't tell without the touch ups.
- [Ryland] Fuck, he's hot.
- You're sick. He's like 50.
- It'd be hotter if he was but he's like 30 something.
Just old enough to be your older brother
from your dad's first marriage
like King Gold.
- I'm assuming since our
guest director's an Oscar winner,
we're no longer writing
our own queer justice scripts
and we'll be focusing on his.
- His film is considered the most
avant-garde art film ever to win.
- Let's not pretend these powder puffs know what art is.
- You can't smoke in here.
- You can't smoke in here.
- I have severe asthma and I'm allergic.
- Any more fake allergies?
Like what? You're allergic to celery?
You know what? Never mind.
You look like you would be allergic to water.
- So what's this film about? Are we gonna shoot on a RED?
I've always wanted to shoot on a RED.
- The class says smartphone in its title.
Is a RED a smartphone?
And as for story, you will know the story
when you deserve to know.
And you, the one writing like you're in a courtroom,
what's your name?
- Cameron.
- Of course it is.
You're my first AD.
And before you say anything, I didn't give him the job
because he is a man.
With his soft features and plaid,
I thought he was a lesbian.
Give Cameron your interest
and he'll tell you what you're gonna be doing.
And Cameron, you'll get my number from Jerry.
We can work everything else out.
See you all in the next class.
- Just call me Ishmael.
- I don't think he's actually read that book
or even seen the movie.
When we were 12, he found porn
on his dad's laptop, Moby Dicked It.
It inspired him for three months
and of course I got the blow by blow
of the best movie he's ever seen.
We definitely have way
different tastes in men and film.
- Motherfucking lighter in none of them.
What the fuck is going on?
(lighter clicks)
(Oscar coughs)
- Can I hit it?
- This might be a little strong
for your level of experience.
Go ahead.
- Don't confuse age with experience.
See you around, teacher.
I can't believe you've never seen The Closet.
It was my spank bank film in high school.
- How old was he when he made this?
- He was like 17 or something.
They went to like Italy
or some sex positive Euro country to film.
- I can't believe they're allowing him to teach.
Has he done anything since?
- Get this, he wins three Oscars for this film
and then he comes back here
and just disappears, completely gone,
became a full on hermit.
Zoom was made for this guy.
You know, the only reason I know that is
because I hooked up with one guy who worked for him.
He had my dream job.
Basically just lived with him,
working in his briefs, cleaning.
Besides the cleaning, I'm perfect.
- The dreams of a true gold digger.
- Except he would be the one doing the drilling.
Wow, this app is just turning into a guess who game.
Like seriously, just add a face pic.
You think you can drive me
to base gym so I can hit the steamer?
Hi, little fella.
(upbeat music)
- So did I strike any inspiration?
Gimme some of that.
I think I'm gonna join your class.
Remember when we met and I had that acting coach?
- What are you talking about?
- That night you said I could be a star,
that I had the look and the talent?
So am I gonna be your muse and star in your film?
- Whatever you want, baby.
- [Doug] Rise and shine and give Doug a big huggy huggy.
- That's my father, Doug.
- I thought you were watching the Closet.
It's a great movie.
I think it might've actually been one
of the very last big date night films
that your mom and I ever saw together.
Don't confuse age with experience.
Great line.
Oh, here I made you the special
clown pancakes this morning.
- Story Time. So my mom died when I was six months old.
She was an only child and drifter
that my dad fell madly in love with.
I was born in 2000.
That was the same year Trillberry
had its first serial killer,
Mophet the Prophet clown.
My mom was his last victim.
She was at Kmart looking at
new baby costumes for Halloween.
That was the last time anyone ever saw her.
The police still can't connect
her disappearance to Mophet.
But my dad and I know that she has to be one
of his missing victims.
So why the clown pancakes? Trauma.
When I was in fourth grade, I went to Ryland's
for a sleepover when my dad was on a business trip
and that's when Mophet struck again.
This time, some guy in a play
at a local community college.
For weeks, I was terrified he'd be coming
for me like he did my mom.
I wouldn't go to school.
Hell, I wouldn't go anywhere.
That is until the police made a raid
on Kirk LePitre's house.
The cop shot and killed him.
They claim he came at them with a knife.
My dad told me.
As soon as he found out, he said,
"They caught the bad man, son."
Now we'll eat your fear away
by making this clown disappear
and you will forget about Mophet and your mother.
"We're almost there, Cameron. No more Mophet."
Thanks, Dad.
I just think I'm getting a bit
too old for clown pancakes.
- Oh, we are never too old to face our fears, son.
But I do wanna ask you, what is the sudden fascination
with early 2000s gay cinema?
- [Cameron] Oh, the guy who made it is a guest director
in one of the classes I'm taking.
- No way. Oh my God.
I want you to slide into his DMs
and get his graph from me off of his gram, okay, please.
- Dad, I have to get ready for work.
Movie theater's gonna be swamped tonight.
Another one of those fantasy book films came out.
So I'm gonna be swamped with lions, wizards
and sexy maidens.
- Well, I wouldn't want those sexy maidens
or those wizards to have to wait or anything.
Or whatever it is that your wand desires.
(water rushing)
- I want you.
You're dirty and I like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty and I like that
When it's just you and me
You're dirty and I like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty and I like that
- (indistinct)
Call me daddy.
I love Oscar colada Saturdays.
The breeze of the island, the mist.
- So what's your idea?
- Huh, good luck trying to get it out of him.
He wouldn't even tell me when I did something.
- No, God stop. No one needs to hear that.
I forgot how much of a prude you are.
- This is coming from the guy who just went outside
for the first time in what, two years?
- I go outside but only for what's worth it.
- Come on, tell us. What's your comeback?
- [Jerry] Yeah, you've gotta have something, right?
Carmelo? What's this?
- This is something I came up with after "The Closet."
It's about Carmelo Perez and Hope Alvarez.
(Oscar coughs)
- Only he can make me better.
It is not sad time, but can you?
It is on a mother.
- Too ethnic.
- Yeah, that's why it'll never get made.
Don't let Eryka hear you saying that.
You're gonna be stuck in her sensitivity class
from this Saturday for the rest of your life.
- What's the point?
- You're right. You people will never change.
- Let's watch that new show
everyone's been talking about.
- Oh, I feel like there's a new sex drama
on those streaming services every week.
What's this one about?
- This one's about some theater guy
except he's a coke dealer and a...
- Raging sex addict,
like if he was 10 years older.
- So it just came out?
- Yeah, you have to start it.
Where's Cameron?
- He had to call his dad on his walk.
Wouldn't wanna go missing like his mom.
- Ouch.
- Lesbian's can be catty too.
- Makes sense with all that pussy.
Hello? Dude, where are you?
- I'm walking home.
Oh by the way, I got a call from Oscar's assistant
and we got invited to Oscar's brainstorming party.
- We just got invited to Oscar's brainstorming party.
- Put him on speaker.
- [Cameron] So what are you guys doing?
- We're waiting for you to smoke.
So is this an all class thing?
- I don't think so.
He just told me to bring my blonde friend.
- Of course, he did, an all boys club.
Even with gay men, women are always put
on the back burner in film.
- Finally he noticed me.
It means I'm on my way up. - Or he knows you get
on your knees faster than an altar boy on Sundays.
- [Cameron] Okay, go ahead and swing by.
My dad's on a work trip.
You can drop us off.
- All right, see you soon, virgin.
- [Narrator] Welcome, this is episode one
of my new podcast, "Trill Crime."
Trillberry is a beautiful suburb in California,
but one with a long history
of mysterious disappearances,
which is unsolved crimes and serial killers.
Episode one will cover the origins of one
of Trillberry's favorite haunted tales,
the Lady of Red and her candle.
- Remember when we tried to
crack that case in high school?
- We were so crazy in high school.
Wait, wasn't that how you met Juan?
- Yes, that is how I met Juan Santiago,
Trillberry's most famous film snob.
You know, every time I buy a joint, I keep thinking
how far weed legislation has come.
- But it hasn't.
I was just talking to my class the other day about
how most people who are locked up
in prison are black and brown
and it's for small offenses like selling weed
or having weed.
- This podcast has facts, huh?
- See, that's the problem.
You are Afro-Latino and you deflect.
- Listen, I'm down for the cause
but not all of us can be Black Panther or Zorro.
(Both laugh)
- Zorro?
- Hey, you know, there's not many superheroes
for me to choose from.
You should teach that in your class.
Hey, let's listen to how crazy the white people
in Trillberry are and smoke some
of this Santa Marta gold.
Fucking white people.
- First AD, I was thinking maybe like walkie PA
or media wrangler.
First AD is like... The only role
I want is the fluffer.
- The role you were born for.
- Thanks Susan, babe.
- Not all strong women are lesbians.
- We live in Trump country, okay?
If you own a feminist book, you're a lesbian.
And you, you look like you're-
- A boy about to walk into a Dennison.
- Well, that's one way to put it.
- Is it sad that I want Oscar to notice me?
Like fuck, here I am big bad activist
and I want his approval.
Let's go.
I promised the derby girls I
would commentate tonight.
- That sport is so brutal.
- I don't think I could do this.
Maybe I'll just text him and
just tell him I can't make it.
- No, we're going tonight.
Tonight is the first step of my five point plan.
- I'm glad we know you have a plan.
No, seriously, come on, let's go.
(mellow music)
- [Oscar] You made it?
- Who would turn down the chance to hang out
with Trillberry's number one D-list celebrity?
- How do you take your cocktail?
- Stiff and dry.
- That can be arranged.
Elliot, do you wanna help make the next round?
- None for me. I gotta drive home soon.
- You know, there's a certain amount of time we can stay
before this becomes an inappropriate student
and professor meeting.
- I guess you don't wanna hit this.
- I'm a professor. I'm not fucking dead.
- So, professor, do we know
what project we're working on next?
- Oh, ask the genius.
- I'm so glad
that my favorite director finally feels inspired
to make a comeback.
- Inspired? Not so much.
Coerced? Very.
- That's my cue to go. I'll be back in the morning.
Please try to have the start of the script at least.
The dean's gonna be riding my until we have a plan.
- Be careful.
There's more than one bull here ready for a ride.
- That's my exit as well.
(ominous music)
- I still don't see how drinking
and playing games is helping you come up with an idea.
- If it helped him with that,
he would have another Oscar by now.
- Maybe I didn't have the right inspiration.
- [Ryland] Maybe I can help.
- So what is your process?
- Have you ever had a pimple on your ass?
A boil? No?
It's like that.
You can slowly start to feel it form
and then it starts to get bigger and more painful
and it's not ready to head,
so you wash your ass with hot
water and put on a compress.
And then after what seems like forever,
it burst, erupts, oozes with blood
and pus and pain and a wave of relief.
That is my writing process.
- So we are the warm compress?
- No, acid is.
Cameron, Ryland, have you ever done acid?
- [Ryland] Yeah and I'll do it.
- I don't know.
- Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
- I mean, it's fun and freeing.
- No need for pressure.
But you did say you wanted to understand.
(upbeat music)
- He didn't pressure me.
But have you ever met anybody
that just makes you feel like so free?
Like they're just so free
and lacking of any societal conformity,
it just makes you feel like
you could just do anything.
So I took it. I took the acid.
It was my matrix moment.
(upbeat music)
- I remember that. That was like crazy.
All the gay guys were scared
to use Trill List for hookups.
- My mom was taken by him.
- Crazy and not possible.
(upbeat music continues)
- You wanna paint me?
Make me your own.
- Stars look so beautiful tonight.
I can see all the constellations.
- I know. I could live this way forever.
(upbeat music continues)
- What the fuck?
- Oh yeah, I know I had to bust one
when I saw this for the first time.
Don't let me stop you.
- You ruined the mood.
It's true.
For the first time in years,
Ryland actually made me lose my boner.
- Have you heard anything from Oscar?
- Maybe that's why.
No, although the professor did
say that The Washup wanted us
to bring sonnets to class for our auditions.
- Sonnets?
- I always forget.
Culture's the one gay branch you didn't hit.
I'll help you pick one out later.
(phone beeps)
- Who's that?
- Not who? What?
- Come on, the suspense is killing me.
- The new episode of Trill Crime's Out.
- Wait, you watch Trill Crime?
Did you see that episode with Kennedy
and the aliens in the dam?
- Yeah, that was last week's episode.
Listen, Ryland, there's something I've been wanting
to talk to you about, something I've been working on.
- Yeah, there's also something
that I've wanted to tell you.
It's just been eating at my soul, burning my stomach.
It's Oscar.
He's just not returning my text.
I mean, does he even see me?
- How could he miss you?
You practically throw yourself at him like one
of those vampires from "Blade."
- Such an underrated saga.
Sorry, what were you saying?
- Nothing.
- Hey, is your dad home?
- Nah, he went away on another business trip.
- Cool. So I can stay the night.
I never understand
why your dad wouldn't let me when he's here.
- Trill Crime. You're a Trilly?
- What?
- A Trill detective.
That's what we call ourselves on Trill Date.
- Oh yeah, I love the podcast.
I still wonder who the host is.
Elliot? - Yeah.
- Do we know what his idea is yet?
- No clue.
He had me set a couple cases of beer outside his door,
but he never let me in.
But he did take a shower this morning
and when he came out, he said that he was ready
to hear us do our sonnets.
Luckily I took a sonnet class taught
by Juan Santiago a few summers ago.
- Well, I'm excited for the new episode.
Maybe we can listen together sometime.
- What was that about?
He was just talking to me about Trill Crime.
He's a sweet guy.
- Okay, everyone, Oscar's ready to hear your auditions.
- So is he still not gonna tell us a plot of this movie?
Like fuck, we've been waiting a week.
We've been out of class for a week while he's writing.
Where is he? I have a script ready, okay?
The Domestic Strife starring me
as Bo, the alcoholic hetero husband.
- No one is gonna believe
that you're a hetero wife beater.
And if you think that this business is all flowers
and compliments, you are far mistaken.
I know you have all prepared sonnets.
Forget that.
You will be reading this instead.
- This is only really just a formality.
I know that I'm supposed to
be playing the young peasant.
Oscar promised me the main role.
- This is why I never do film or theater.
It's too much nepotism
and I just wanna set up the props, set up the lights,
move the sandbags.
- Fun. So you're new to this class?
- Yeah, just transferred.
Didn't wanna miss the chance
to work with Oscar J Evans.
- As an unperfect actor on the stage.
Who with his fear is put beside his part
or some fierce thing replete with too much rage.
- Whose strengths abundance weakens his own heart.
So I, for fear of trust, forget
to say the perfect ceremony of love's right.
- And in my own love, strength seems to decay
or charge with brethren of mine.
- Oh, love's light.
Oh, let my books be then the eloquence
and presages of my speaking breast.
- Who plead for love and look for re-comp...
- Recompense.
More than that tongue that more hath more expressed.
- Oh, learn to read what side love hath...
- To hear my eyes belong with...
- [All] Love blinded by wit.
- He loves blind wit.
- Angel, you have proven
why this movie is going be a silent film.
Cameron has a cast list.
He will post it once I've left the building.
- I've got a meeting.
(footsteps pattering)
- [Elliot] What? He gave the lead to Ryland?
What the fuck?
- [Oscar] You know, I'm pretty
excited about this cast list.
It looks pretty good.
- Yeah, for a community college film class,
It's actually not about half bad.
- Well, I mean, they don't have to act.
Film is for pretty people, Jerry.
Theater is for ugly people.
Plus it's silent movie, all they have to do is smile
and glare at the camera.
Okay, that Ryland guy's pretty hot. I'll be honest.
If I wasn't his teacher, he'd be bent over this desk.
- You're not...
You're his teacher. Yeah, no.
(knuckles rapping)
- The Artist. I like it.
A renaissance film, brings you back to the classics.
- Well it really is a queer love story.
- Not queer, gay.
Unapologetically fucking gay.
- It reminds me
of that play you wrote years ago, Scapino's Revenge.
I was just going through old props.
Still have the prototypes.
Too bad that production fell through.
I'm thrilled at your idea.
- Hey, if you're so thrilled,
how about sparing us a classroom?
- I'm thrilled.
Let's not give the dog a treat before he rolls over.
- Hmm.
- The guy is such an asshole.
- It's weird that he said dog.
Do you think he likes it doggy style?
- Don't make me think about him like that.
Oh, it's in there.
- That's my thought.
- You're a dick.
Work hard, get dough
I can't get no sleep, please make my life more simple
Miles inside these shoes, so I don't stop, I tiptoe
- Your dad said you were up here.
What are you looking at?
- Promise not to laugh?
- Promise not to laugh.
I am mad that you started the
new episode without me though.
- I wasn't really listening.
It was just kind of like background noise.
- I'm joking. So?
- This is my mother.
- Explain.
- Second grade, Ms. Lucas's class.
We were told to bring pictures
of our mother for Mother's Day.
We were supposed to make special frames for them.
The thing is, my dad didn't
have any pictures of my mother.
So instead I just sat in the corner crying
and then I looked up and there was Ryland.
He sat with me and we talked.
He asked what I thought my mother looked like
and then he drew this.
You know, Ryland's always been there for me.
Like even when his parents
kicked him outta the house,
after he came out at homecoming junior year,
he didn't even bat an eye.
He just looked at me and said,
"Now we both have grandmothers."
- And you two never?
- No, no.
- Looked into who your mom might be?
- Oh, I thought you were gonna ask something else.
No.
Every time I brought it up to my father,
he just says it's too painful and changes the subject.
I feel like my whole life I've just been wondering
who she is and if there's more to it.
Then after taking acid with Oscar, Ryland and Elliot,
Oscar told me something.
He said that Mophet only killed gay twinks.
- You really weren't paying attention
to the new episode, were you?
- Well, you said you didn't listen.
- I listened just a little bit
because the intro was really thrilling.
Trillberry serial killer
or the product of America's homophobia.
- Can I show you something?
Ever since that night I've been thinking.
So many things don't make sense.
Like, is my father even really my father?
I just been watching too many
episodes of Switched at Birth?
- You can figure that out.
- What do you mean?
- You know, for a conspiracy buff,
you are a little late to the party.
DNA test.
Just take a sample from your
dad, take a sample from you
and just send it in.
- How though?
- Just wait till he is gone
and take some hair from his brush.
With that bump, he uses a brush.
- He'll be gone tomorrow but we have school.
- Aren't you sick and need to
rest for this weekend shoot?
- Yeah. Maybe a little.
What do you say we listen to that new episode.
- That's what I came here for.
- [Narrator] Welcome, this is episode six of Trill Crime.
And today we'll begin to talk about the case.
- Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just here to talk to Oscar and the professor.
Where is the professor?
- He's at the campsite preparing for tomorrow's shoot.
- Class seems a little light.
- It's just our production meeting.
It's our major crew and our cast
except our first AD.
He's not here.
- What's your role?
- I'm the best boy.
- The best boy? I've seen that in the film credits.
What does the best boy do?
- And this is Ryland.
He is our star and lead.
He's the young lad who discovers himself in art
and a Renaissance Lord's young son.
- Hmm.
Well it seems like you
got a whole Mighty Ducks thing going on.
Come see me after class and
bring the professor with you.
- I've never actually been camping before.
- Good. A lesbian has never been camping before.
- My sexuality has nothing
to do with adventure sports.
- It's okay.
The only thing Angel knows about is water sports.
- Oh fucking days.
Juan.
- That is Professor Dr.
- Juan Santiago.
- Shut up.
- We came here to check out the competition,
but as usual, you land flaccid.
When we heard that you had given up your haze
of whippets and winks, we didn't believe them.
- Hey, he may be a mess, but he is a genius.
- Okay, Juan, you
and your children of corn have made your point.
- We have not even begun.
- To make our point.
- Juan, what has happened to you?
You become such a tool.
- Who in this room runs the
best theater and film program
in the city and soon to be state?
- [Both] Juan Santiago does.
- My students and our film will wipe your film
off this planet.
- Yeah.
- Shut up, Angel.
- (laughs) Oh, wanna bet on that?
- I would bet my life on that.
- Not your life, your Oscar, Oscar.
(Both clap)
- Deal.
But when I win, I get the bio rights to Carmelo the film.
(All clap)
- But if I win,
I get the streaming royalties from "The Closet."
(Both clap)
- Deal.
Now get out of here.
You're sucking all the joy out
of this classroom like a fucking dementor.
And take your dogs too.
- So guys, I was thinking about-
- Elliot, I said fucking silent film.
- As the lead, I think we should all blow off some steam
tonight at Trillberry's Pride Center Drag Night.
- Ryland's right.
You all need to blow off steam
'cause tomorrow at 9:00 AM, it's war.
Go check on Cameron.
We can't make this fucking movie without Cameron.
- So what are you gonna do for money
after you sell the last Oscar?
- I think you remember Tito's.
Seriously, I love their fucking burritos.
We're going to get our ass spanked like Daddy Dean.
- Take a seat.
I've been looking over the proposal
for tomorrow night's trip.
The school has decided
it's too big of a liability risk
for a sanction overnight.
- They approved that months ago.
- Circumstances have changed.
- Are you saying that I have
to change my entire movie overnight just
to accommodate these new updates?
- [Dean] Okay, we'll give the students a good perspective
on adapting to obstacles.
- So we can only shoot and hike during the day?
- That's correct.
And you'll still need that female faculty member
to be a part of the trip.
- You are still
that little control freak house manager, aren't you?
Screw this world. Screw you.
- He'll be fine.
He's a genius.
He once had to rewrite an entire script
because the lead actor had a breakdown.
- It's your job on the line, not mine.
Hope you can pull it together.
Now get out. I have some real work to do.
(upbeat music)
- Place this camera (indistinct)
That's gold.
Join us.
- I'm in.
(phone beeps)
- Okay, we've already had a few setbacks.
Professor tubby ass isn't here.
He's stuck at my house, okay?
And Selena has twisted her ankle
so she's gonna hold up base camp with Professor Eryka.
Everyone check your emails.
I sent out a new script last night.
- Angel just texted me.
He said that he and Elliot are gonna be a bit late.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
- He changes the script every five minutes.
- That's why I don't read them.
- It looks like I can get more camera time
than I thought I was going to.
- Okay everyone, let's go.
Let's find the first shooting location
and me and Ryland are gonna smoke a joint
while you guys set it up.
(upbeat music)
- It's really cool that I get to hang out with you.
You spoke at my high school about inclusion
when I was a senior
and it really inspired me.
- Hmm, so you're a smart one.
So then why did you want to get into film?
- I don't.
I wanna be an investigative journalist
which sounds crazy because
I know it's a dying art form.
- Well, you know, journalism has made way for podcasts
and coyote news.
- That's exactly why I wanna get into it.
I could easily sensationalize
like the podcast everyone
is talking about, Trill Crime,
but I want facts, evidence, DNA.
I want real proof.
What happened?
- I thought I saw something.
You know what? It's probably just because I'm starving.
Why don't we go get some food?
I'm gonna run to the garage and grab my purse.
(ominous music)
- I guess you're stressing. Can we get a break?
- No.
- (indistinct) - Because every time
we only get breaks in between the scenes
that we're behind on and now we have to...
See? Now he's fucking calling.
- Oh my God.
(upbeat music)
Well, how's he been treating you?
The first AD privileges.
- It's different. It's cool.
I like it.
I'm learning a lot. - It doesn't seem
like you like it.
You're like really quirky and weird. I kind of love it.
- Thanks.
(upbeat music continues)
- (indistinct)
It's fucking bad.
- Don't bring that up.
That was really embarrassing.
But like I don't really know how read very well,
so like I didn't see that in the title.
That's why I like cameras.
- He was like super complicated on the first day.
Like what Professor even does that?
- Right? I mean, mad respect for me as a creative genius,
but like... Okay. Okay, that's enough.
That's enough.
(upbeat music continues)
- (indistinct)
- He was just saying like some bullshit.
(upbeat music)
(urine trickling)
- [Curtis] Are you okay?
- Other than the fact
that you just scared me, like a Wes Craven movie, yeah.
- [Curtis] Sorry. Sorry, my bad.
- I thought I heard something.
Then I had to pee.
- [Curtis] It's colder than I thought it was
gonna be out here
and it looks like Ryland left our tent
to go sleep with Oscar in the garage.
- These shrooms keep messing with me.
I keep feeling like I'm seeing something.
- [Curtis] Isn't the point to see things?
- Let's go to bed.
(ominous music)
- Can I spend the night with you? It's cold out there.
- Yeah, you can sleep on the couch.
- Hey, little testy today, huh?
(light switch clicks) - What?
- You're here, son.
So how did that long filming weekend go?
You didn't join any wild Hollywood sex cults, did you?
- What? No.
- Hey, little testy today, huh?
- Sorry dad. I'm just tired is all.
- You know, mother used to say that stage
and film were the devil's workshop.
Did I ever tell you that I
actually wanted to be an actor?
- You mean corporate
reconstruction wasn't your dream?
- Now, just because you are an adult, young man,
doesn't mean that you can mock me, okay?
- You never talk about grandma.
- Well, she died two years before you were born.
You know, you are my pride and joy
and, you know, you were named after her father.
- So did you ever try it?
- Try what?
- Acting, theater, film?
- I did. I dabbled in it a little bit after she passed.
I joined the Trillberry Players
and I worked with them on a few shows backstage.
I even ran for the crew of Oklahoma,
but they never let me actually go on stage.
I was gonna go on stage once,
but unfortunately it didn't happen.
It was for Scapino's Revenge.
Oh, it was a hilarious play.
- Sounds so familiar. What happened?
- Well, right before we were about to open,
the playwright ended up going mainstream
so his agent and managers pulled the whole rights
of the show.
Anyway, that was back then.
That's what sort of led to the fall of the theater.
It was never the same after that. We became a film town.
It was actually kind of a blessing.
It sort of rescued Trillberry
because agriculture was dying
and so film became the focus.
Anyway, that was the past.
Now we're an eSports town. Go Zelda!
Anyway, that's enough about me.
Plus those theater people
really weren't my thing anyway.
I never really fit in with them.
Numbers and order, that's my jelly.
- What's mom's jelly?
- Drugs. Drugs were your mom's jelly.
She was a terrible soul
and now that you're old enough to understand,
you should know how troubled that she was.
I loved her deeply
but she had her faults.
I am completely convinced though,
that God meant to bring us together
so that we could have you.
You are my pride and joy.
- I should get some rest. I had a long trip.
- All right. Lemme give you one last piece of advice.
Don't let Oscar J Evans work you too hard.
Got it?
- So?
- Yes?
- Do you even like me?
- I wouldn't have you in my house if I didn't.
- [Ryland] Then why haven't you made a move?
- Believe me, I've thought about it.
I'm not gonna lie. I want to.
But you were the star of my film
and my students.
(upbeat music)
- You see that? From across the room
And I feel like - Oh my God
I clench my hands tight, so
I won't unleash it too soon
Give it to me what I'm owed
And I'll wrap you up and we play hide and seek
And our heart rate climbs up above 130
- Did he just hit him? Oh, y'all freaky.
Because you told me that you like to get dirty
- He let you do that? I like that
- No. Did I?
When it's just for me
You told me you like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty, I like that
- Wow. That bitch.
This is what we need though.
This is what's gonna get him.
If he taught us one thing, it's not to cry over men.
We're gonna expose his ass.
Little whore. Look at them both.
- Yeah, look at them.
- [Angel] Still looks dirty though.
I would hope that you know
better than to pause our bond
You know we are a rarity
It's so easy to prepare, but too hard to escape
Better not to get bent out of shape
And now cover up your eyes
Now spell out it slowly
All the things that you've done right
You're dirty and I like that
When it's just for me
You're dirty and I like that
When no else can see
You're dirty and I like that
(knuckles rapping)
- It's here.
- What's here?
- The test.
Did you tell Ryland about this?
- He's been kind of busy.
- Are you gonna open it?
- I don't know if I can.
Can you do it?
- Whoa. No, no, no.
This could be the most
groundbreaking moment of your life.
You have to do it.
Plus, if it's news that you don't want,
I don't wanna be associated with it.
(envelope rustling)
- It said Doug's not my father.
- Maybe you're adopted.
- But then why would he lie about my mother?
- Well, have you tried maybe submitting it
to trillaccessory.com
or one of those other DNA relative websites?
I did one and I found out a bunch
of relatives I didn't know I had.
Maybe you could do it to find your mom.
- I can't even think about my mom right now. Who's my dad?
- He's not the monster everyone's making him out to be.
- Tell that to Domestic Strife.
Fuck him. He's a slut pig.
Can't wait to get my nails done tomorrow.
- I gotta get my eyebrows done too.
- Yeah, why they doing it like that?
- Wait, you...
Wait.
Shut the fuck up.
- It's just some pervert trying to cruise.
Go away, weirdo. We're not here to prove.
- Yeah, no fats, no femmes.
(ominous music)
- Hello, are you just gonna stand there
and not say anything like it's on Halloween.
(both screaming)
- Oh my god.
Oh my god.
No, no, no, no.
Are you fucking leaving?
Oh my god.
You fucking whore.
Elliot, Elliot!
Oh my god.
(indistinct)
Bitch, bitch.
- [Narrator] "The Closet," Trillberry's
own Oscar winning movie
but it is also a murderer
among relationships and careers.
After obtaining documents, I will tell you
what has been trapped in the closet for 20 years.
A tale of sex, betrayal and secret babies.
This is Trill Crime.
- Did I ever tell you why I stopped doing film?
- No.
- It was hard being a 17-year-old Oscar winner.
Not as hard as it would be today with social media
but tabloids were king
and I was an out and proud gay actor.
I let the fame get to me
and I pushed everyone I loved away.
It didn't help that I kept on getting letters
from Kirk LePitre, who you know as Mophet the Prophet.
- You need to take these notes to the police.
- There is no fucking clown out to kill me, Juan.
It's a fucking stalker.
You are just jealous.
I'm the only one from Trilldiodian who made it.
And you were all gung-ho when you were coming along
for the ride on "The Closet"
but you got jealous as soon as they replaced you.
- When they replaced me.
You replaced me and used their words to do it.
America isn't ready for two Latin gay male leads
and you were so quick to replace me
with Justin Travis Thompson.
Now what? You wanna make a movie about our people?
My family?
What?
Are you going to cast some German kid
to play my grandfather?
You're a sellout.
- I am a sellout?
We're fucking sellouts.
It's not like our TV show, "Hanging in the Playground"
was any fucking masterpiece of art.
I don't see Jerry complaining
about his free ride to college.
And you, Mr. NYU,
you think you would've gotten into NYU
with your brown ass if you weren't semi-famous?
- Oscar, when are you gonna
stop ignoring this freight train
that's heading toward you?
When the tabloids blasted
you for sleeping with an EP,
who stood by your side and told 'em it was all a lie?
These letters are serious. This killer is serious.
This killer is a plague in our community.
He's targeting young, gay men.
In the papers today, there was a story about
how the last body was in a commedia dell'arte pose
in a fucking mask.
He is taunting our community.
- Are you going to give me the rights to Carmelo or not?
- No.
- Then get the fuck outta here and never come back.
Got another letter.
"Make another movie, spreading your sin
and I will take those closest to you."
That's what I knew. I was the bringer of death.
I've been waiting for them to connect the dots.
All those men who have died, they were a part of my life.
Late night hookups, PAs, chorus boys, all of them.
I knew them.
I was like the virus spreading
through our community
wreaking havoc of fun and party.
- Why didn't you just call the police?
- All they would've seen is a brown man
connected to the victims.
Open and shut.
- You're gonna regret today
and I won't be waiting anymore when you do.
- I don't need you. I don't need anyone.
- You're right. You just need your party.
- Everyone's fucking replaceable, Juan, everyone.
(mellow music)
- But why not make a movie when Kirk was killed?
- That's the thing.
The letter came three weeks after he died.
I'm finally getting out of the shadows
and now my past is here to slaughter me.
Well that's enough old man stories.
I'm sure you came here to say goodbye.
- No, what we did wasn't wrong.
(ominous music)
(phone beeps)
- Jumpy banana shake.
- It's been a while since any one
in this town's gone missing.
- Makes you think about your mother, huh?
Lemme tell you something, Cameron.
Love is a very strange drug
and God uses it to either
tempt us or to nurture us with.
- How did you know you even loved my mother?
- Well, I know that I love you
more than absolutely anything
in this world, including your mother.
That's to answer your question.
You know that you love someone
when you realize that you
will do absolutely anything
to protect 'em from harm.
- [Cameron] Even lie to them?
- Cameron, what is bothering you?
I mean these interesting
questions that you keep asking me.
- You're bleeding. What happened?
- Oh, it's nothing, fiddle sticks.
I was just, you know, opening up a can of tuna
and accidentally cut it.
It's absolutely nothing.
I remember when you first brought this home.
Back then Ryland was all you could talk about
for years and years.
Oh, I am so glad that you are finally starting
to grow away from him.
I mean, that boy is trouble.
- Maybe it's time for you to put mother away.
- Let me tell you something, Cameron.
Love will make you mad.
(doorbell rings)
Who is that?
Do you have somebody coming over?
You know that I don't like you having friends over
while I'm out on a business trip.
- He's just picking me up.
We're gonna go see Ryland and Oscar.
- Cameron, you wanna throw your life away?
I mean, you really wanna risk losing all
of your credits for the entire semester just to go
and see Oscar J Evans?
Look, you can go and see him
after the semester is over, okay?
(knuckles rapping)
And you, you wanna waste the rest of your semester too?
Look, I read the news guys.
I know what's going on, okay?
You look like a smart boy.
You know, Cameron, I better not hear
that you went over to Oscar J.
Evans house or to see Ryland.
You understand?
Now, please don't stay too late tonight, okay?
I'll see you on Monday.
I love you.
- Thanks for coming.
- [Curtis] So we're going to Oscar's?
- I'm kind of hungry.
Let's go to Tito's and then we'll see what Ryland says.
- Hey, hey, it's okay.
We're gonna get you answers, okay?
- I still can't believe about
that student missing from Juan Santiago's class.
It's almost like there's-
- A Mophet copycat? I know.
- Yeah.
- The Trill Boards are going crazy.
Let's not talk about that.
(indistinct)
- (speaks foreign language)
- Can you believe those fucking ass hats
didn't even show up to our party?
- Okay, I'm gonna go shower upstairs.
Come join me when you blow off steam.
I'll be back.
- Where have you two been?
- We were at Tito's.
I was craving one of their burritos.
- He missed Oscar but didn't wanna go over to his house.
Ryland said he was having a breakdown.
- Yeah, I saw the post.
They're really not letting him on campus?
- Yeah, he's suspended.
- Yeah and the dean's threatening
any students that go over
to his house could lose their credits for the course.
- Which sucks 'cause
Ryland said he was gonna
throw a killer ugly sweater party.
- Yeah and there's a bunch of rumors going
around about a missing student
from Juan Santiago's class.
- Yeah, the Trill Boards are going fucking crazy.
Crazier than that time
that kid saw Bigfoot at the Trill Creamery.
- Okay, sounds like a bunch of, I don't knows.
(phone dialing)
- Pick up your phone, you fucking shit.
(water rushing)
- [Ryland] I was hoping you would join me.
Listen, the age difference isn't a big thing.
I went after you.
You always pushed me away
until the movie was completely done.
This is not like a Kevin Spacey moment.
More like a...
How?
What are those two guys from
that old gay TV show you always talk about?
I get it, you wanna watch
but really what is their names?
- Brian and Justin. - What the fuck?
Cameron's dad, what are you doing here?
- I never really liked you, Ryland.
I always knew that you would never amount
to anything but a whore.
That's a problem when you like boys.
You're all sluts.
(ominous music)
- [Ryland] Your dad's Mophet.
Cameron.
- What's wrong?
What's up with your friend?
- He said that my dad, Doug.
He said that he's Mophet.
- What?
- It's a fucking joke.
It's a Ryland joke.
- It makes sense though.
Every single time his dad's been
on a business, somebody gets killed.
If Trill Crime's right, then that's the perfect alibi
because that means if Marigold O'Malley
and The Washup did have a baby,
then that means-
- You're that baby.
- What the fuck? Where did you get that?
- I found it in the basement along with this.
- And you're just telling us right now?
- I didn't wanna believe it.
- Fuck. Cameron, Mophet, your dad, he kills twinks.
Ryland is the perfect target.
- We need to go now.
- Let's go.
(door rattles)
- Ryland, I'm so sorry I took it out on you.
If there's one thing about this project
that was worth it, it was meeting you.
- [Doug] And you tainted him.
- Ryland, it's not funny, buddy.
- [Doug] I'm not Ryland.
- Then who are you?
- [Doug] You don't remember me, do you?
- I'm supposed to?
- It is I, Scapino.
- What the fuck did you do with Ryland?
- I told you 25 years ago not to create,
and I told you that those
that you loved would be taken from you.
Mother was right.
You are all the same, your kind.
You liberal gay artists.
You are gonna ruin this country tempting us boys,
us good Christian boys
with your effeminate whores and your twinks.
That's why I had to rid the world
of the ones that you touched.
You took everything from me just like daddy back
when he ran away with that rodeo clown.
- I remember you, always lurking
in the back being weird if I go homo with the boys.
- Do you remember laughing at me?
Do you remember berating me?
Do you remember how you laughed at me?
Do you remember how you mocked me
and made fun of me and berated me?
You treated me like I was a rat.
But you, you all were the rats,
the locust that God put on this earth
that I had to cleanse up.
When mother died,
God told me that I had to continue her great work.
I had to continue doing mother's great work.
The work of eradicating the virus of homosexuality
that was permeating the garden of Trillberry.
I almost thought she was wrong.
Just for a minute, I thought
maybe I could go on the stage
and then I could maybe become a star
and you took that away from me
and that's why I took him
to save him from your mark of Cain.
- The theater burned down, how
are we supposed to do a show?
- It burned down because you made me burn it down.
I framed Kirk LePitre.
He was an idiot who didn't deserve the attention.
You are the idiot that mother told me about.
And you are not gonna take my son away from me.
I'm telling I'm going to get you.
How about this?
God wanted me to find Cameron, the product
of you and that witch, Marigold
and to save him from your eternal sin.
(gun fires) (Mophet screams)
- Yeah, that's a good way to (indistinct).
- Are you guys okay? - Where's your dad?
- He's right over...
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
Taking turns
Not a lesson learned
Who'd imagined I would crash and burn
But you got me there
So I'm declaring
A silent war
Can't do it anymore
This is not what I was asking for
But you got me here
Then you disappeared
Was it always meant to be a dream
No win in sight
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel
In return
Yet a page has turned
Another story written in my own words
'Cause you got me here
Still I'm prepared
To end this war
To close the door
Pick up the pieces
Scattered on the floor
But you got me here
Still I'll disappear
Was it always meant to be a dream
No win in sight
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel
Even what could've been
Would never have worked for me
Even if I've been dreaming 'bout it
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel
- [Alarm] Front door open.
(door creaks)
- Hey, I just got back to the house,
(indistinct)
(ominous music continues)
(alarm beeps)
- [Alarm] Back door open.
(upbeat music)
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me, make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am, look at me
Guys, drive me crazy 'cause they lazy
There's a privilege, they don't see slavery
Not a hater, not a sexist
I'm just questioning guys and their motives
Things they're doing for themselves
And the name too
Yeah, they reach out to men
What's the truth, bro
Where's the
Take my advice, are you feminist, there's that
Do whatever, say whatever
To be seen, to be heard, to be clever
Shh, let me speak, boy
You didn't let me finish my sentence
And this is the problem
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am, look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me here I am, look at me
Imma preach now, got a speech now
So sit down, be quiet while I teach ya
How to listen, a whole wisdom
Don't open your mouth until I give you permission
How about you instead of taking space
Start making space
Give back what you got
Leave your seat, save a spot
For someone you proudly say you care for
This is the problem with your tendencies
Keep telling me you are feminist
But you still wanna benefit from women working
But they never get paid
I'm sure you make sure you gonna get laid
Ain't gonna work, boy
No guys
Ain't gonna work, boy
Fuck this feminist guys
Say you wanna work boy
Please just take my advice
Step back, sit down, shut up
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am
Look at me
Ain't gonna work, boy
No guys
Ain't gonna work, boy
Fuck this feminist guys
Say you wanna work, boy
Please just take my advice
Step back, sit down, shut up
You don't know my name
Notice me
See me, here I am
Look at me
Make you notice
Screaming from my lungs to get to you
See me, here I am
Look at me, notice me
See me, here I am
(alarm beeps)
- [Alarm] Back door open.
(ominous music)
(lock clicks)
So you think what we have is a brand new start
But we're good as dead before tomorrow comes
Only things that we got to glue this shit up
Is your toxic attitude and that nice big
So you picked up, I left
Look how fast I forget
Got me jewels, shaved my pet
I like to call her Beck
Now my pussy feel rich just like Beckham Palace
Now that you're gone, I got no duties on my list
When you get hungry, that's when you come closer
Bottle my milk, mum This is time for closure
You want what you want, now that must be awful
But please pull up your pants, no offense
Won't be dancing in rice
I'm not telling you twice
Noting you can do to make things right
I'm a Gemini
I'm a Gemini
With my Gemini rights
I'm a Gemini
I'm a gem
With my Gemini rights
Sitting all alone on your crack back
Hoping for some cash back
to bargain off the flesh light
Dave, Stu all day lacking talent
But you got your parents
So proud of how you manage the day
Everybody lonely in this goddamn city
Goddamn city got me pity all the pretty
So I'm getting high in a room full of hippies
Goddamn hippies
We got no rules
Only Gemini rights
(water rushing)
(upbeat music)
(ominous music)
(footsteps pattering)
(ominous music continues)
- [Alarm] Front door open.
(door slams)
- 10 years, we have won best feature film.
Heck, during that 10 years,
we probably swept the entire season and categories.
Then three years ago it all stopped.
Now what happened three years ago?
- Budget cuts, tuition hikes.
The rise of the Cheeto, low student enrollment,
the brand new fancy ass multimedia facility over-
- All right, enough,
The thing that happened was we hired you.
I never wanted to hire you,
but the board felt that after losing Juan Santiago
to West Hill community
and their new multimillion dollar facility,
we should hire you, the runner up
at some podunk film festival in Utah.
And a letter of recommendation
from the film world's biggest Oscar winning hermit.
I had Dr. Marigold O'Malley, the BAFTA winning genius.
The only woman who refused
a knighthood from the Queen
because she didn't wanna be
in the same room as J.K. Rowling.
You know where this program could be?
Eh, save it.
This year, I have the board on my side.
You will bring us a win
or you will no longer be
employed by this institution.
Who have you chosen for
this year's creator and director?
- Well, this year,
I have the most influential director of our time,
Oscar J Evans.
- I'll have to see if our
college can afford the insurance
of having a train wreck of a director like that
as a professor on this campus.
- Oh, but he doesn't have to be a professor.
The rules state that as long
as there is an accredited
educational professional
overseeing the program, anyone can direct.
- Well, will he even do it though?
He hasn't been seen since The Chosen
and that whole serial killer ordeal.
God, those were dark days.
You know I used to be the house manager
at Trillberry Players back in the day.
Anyway, if you want OJ on the loose,
that's your decision.
It's not my ass on the line.
Anyway, I forgot to mention
that I gave up your classroom
to the varsity eSports team as their lounge.
Look like they're gonna be pretty good.
They may even get a gold controller
so you can float classrooms this semester.
(phone rings)
Now get outta here.
You loser energy is infecting my office.
Hello?
What's that dude's name?
I can't remember his name.
Hold on, hold on. Stay there.
Oscar J Evans.
(upbeat music)
- You can really chase the Trill in this beer.
- I don't think they use real Trillberry.
- Really? You think they went artificial?
- Yeah, I think they used that beaver anal gland stuff.
- Oh, I've had that before. It's not too bad.
- It tastes better than you.
- Does he have to do that right now?
Is this really necessary?
- Is anything really necessary?
Plus, now that he's back in school,
he has less time to clean.
- Does anybody not see a problem with this?
- I gave my childhood for you and America's enjoyment.
So what does a child prodigy do in his adulthood
except enjoy his childhood?
You missed a spot.
- You know I was in that show too.
- Who was the star of that show?
Not Jerry the pudgy. It was OJ Evans, baby.
And who in this room has three Oscars?
- Three Oscars. You sold two of 'em to pay for this.
- You know what's crazy?
The dean of the school talking about diversity
and only scheduling one
ethnic studies class, literally one.
I thought this was the year I
didn't have to work at Tito's.
- Ah, but who would bring easy, tasty burritos?
- Okay, burrito king, you're gonna help me
with the project or not?
- Oh, please, Oscar J Evans, make my 10 years
of school worth nothing by teaching film
at the world's crappiest college.
- Guest directing, not teaching.
And I'm sure you've come up with something
in your 15 year hiatus.
- I've come up with a lot of things,
but nothing anyone deserves to see.
- Hey Elliot, how much does he pay you per week?
- About 500.
- About 500 a week.
I only see one more Oscar left over there, buddy.
- How much does this gig pay again?
- Enough to keep him happy.
I'll see you Monday.
- He is on a white privilege.
- I'm working at a burrito place to feed my cats.
My cats hate Mexican rights.
- What up, bitch?
- Exposition sucks, but it is necessary.
That is Selena.
She's been my ride or die ever since we were
in the same catechism class.
Her parents are making her
take community college courses
before we go away.
But let's be honest,
our parents didn't save enough money early on
and now they're damaging
our educational aspirations
because of it.
I don't even think they actually even want us
to get our degrees.
I think they're hoping
that we'll change our mind once we realize
how poor we're gonna be.
But just look at her.
No, I mean it. Really look at her.
She is a fearless lesbian champion.
That there, that is the thirst trap of this movie.
- Yo. Not cool.
- No, seriously.
I mean, Ryland's been my
confusion ever since second grade.
I mean, one day he looked at me
and then bam, I was bisexual
or at least maybe.
Honestly, I'm not even really sure.
I mean, technically I-
(bed creaks)
- Virgin, come on.
Can't be late to intro to film
or whatever stupid class you convince me to take.
- There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
- Fuck yeah, there is.
So excited for this story, right?
- You're not even into girls.
- Can't be drunk enough.
- Not cool.
Come on, let's go.
- Hey Cameron, (bottle rattling)
want some courage?
- Ryland, you know he doesn't drink.
(upbeat music)
- Teach at a community college, they say.
Come direct a movie, they say.
Well, what the fuck am I gonna direct?
- Excuse me, sir. Can't be smoking that over here.
Excuse me, sir. Can't be smoking that over here.
- Do you know the fuck I am?
- It don't matter.
- I
am fucking O.J. Evans.
Put it somewhere nice.
- Intro to Smartphone Filmmaking and...
A four hour class?
What the fuck, Cameron?
Four hours. What is this class anyways?
- It's a double class because of the lab.
We're gonna shoot films on our phone
and then enter them into film festivals.
- I already know how to shoot films with my phone.
Honestly thought my phone would be going
off nonstop by now.
I hear the bathrooms here are topnotch.
- We all know you were the first to break them in.
Okay, I have to go.
- What other classes are you taking?
- Ethics studies and erosion of equity.
The teacher is a legit activist.
- Hey Cameron, you want to go break into new bathrooms?
- [Selena] And there he is.
- Shut up. It's the first day.
And you can say that I'm crazy
That you're thinking I'm ready
But I'm telling you baby
Get up and get out Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
Get up and get out
- I haven't seen Angel since I
fucked his boyfriend at prom.
I think he's still mad at me.
- Okay, if this movie had a budget, we'd flash back
to prom, but we don't.
So instead, I'll spill the tea
while you watch this video
of Ryland in his underwear eating some chocolate.
It's senior prom
and Selena and Ryland and I decide to go together
as the three musketeers that we are.
Ryland insisted on flying solo since it's better
for his ability to scour the field.
I swear, with the invention of
prep came the second coming
of the sexual revolution.
But I mean, look at him.
God, he even makes chocolate looks like a sin.
- Your generation is really ugly in person.
- Okay, for anyone who doesn't know who this is-
- Please, if you're a founder, you know who this is.
- I thought that was you.
I couldn't tell without the touch ups.
- [Ryland] Fuck, he's hot.
- You're sick. He's like 50.
- It'd be hotter if he was but he's like 30 something.
Just old enough to be your older brother
from your dad's first marriage
like King Gold.
- I'm assuming since our
guest director's an Oscar winner,
we're no longer writing
our own queer justice scripts
and we'll be focusing on his.
- His film is considered the most
avant-garde art film ever to win.
- Let's not pretend these powder puffs know what art is.
- You can't smoke in here.
- You can't smoke in here.
- I have severe asthma and I'm allergic.
- Any more fake allergies?
Like what? You're allergic to celery?
You know what? Never mind.
You look like you would be allergic to water.
- So what's this film about? Are we gonna shoot on a RED?
I've always wanted to shoot on a RED.
- The class says smartphone in its title.
Is a RED a smartphone?
And as for story, you will know the story
when you deserve to know.
And you, the one writing like you're in a courtroom,
what's your name?
- Cameron.
- Of course it is.
You're my first AD.
And before you say anything, I didn't give him the job
because he is a man.
With his soft features and plaid,
I thought he was a lesbian.
Give Cameron your interest
and he'll tell you what you're gonna be doing.
And Cameron, you'll get my number from Jerry.
We can work everything else out.
See you all in the next class.
- Just call me Ishmael.
- I don't think he's actually read that book
or even seen the movie.
When we were 12, he found porn
on his dad's laptop, Moby Dicked It.
It inspired him for three months
and of course I got the blow by blow
of the best movie he's ever seen.
We definitely have way
different tastes in men and film.
- Motherfucking lighter in none of them.
What the fuck is going on?
(lighter clicks)
(Oscar coughs)
- Can I hit it?
- This might be a little strong
for your level of experience.
Go ahead.
- Don't confuse age with experience.
See you around, teacher.
I can't believe you've never seen The Closet.
It was my spank bank film in high school.
- How old was he when he made this?
- He was like 17 or something.
They went to like Italy
or some sex positive Euro country to film.
- I can't believe they're allowing him to teach.
Has he done anything since?
- Get this, he wins three Oscars for this film
and then he comes back here
and just disappears, completely gone,
became a full on hermit.
Zoom was made for this guy.
You know, the only reason I know that is
because I hooked up with one guy who worked for him.
He had my dream job.
Basically just lived with him,
working in his briefs, cleaning.
Besides the cleaning, I'm perfect.
- The dreams of a true gold digger.
- Except he would be the one doing the drilling.
Wow, this app is just turning into a guess who game.
Like seriously, just add a face pic.
You think you can drive me
to base gym so I can hit the steamer?
Hi, little fella.
(upbeat music)
- So did I strike any inspiration?
Gimme some of that.
I think I'm gonna join your class.
Remember when we met and I had that acting coach?
- What are you talking about?
- That night you said I could be a star,
that I had the look and the talent?
So am I gonna be your muse and star in your film?
- Whatever you want, baby.
- [Doug] Rise and shine and give Doug a big huggy huggy.
- That's my father, Doug.
- I thought you were watching the Closet.
It's a great movie.
I think it might've actually been one
of the very last big date night films
that your mom and I ever saw together.
Don't confuse age with experience.
Great line.
Oh, here I made you the special
clown pancakes this morning.
- Story Time. So my mom died when I was six months old.
She was an only child and drifter
that my dad fell madly in love with.
I was born in 2000.
That was the same year Trillberry
had its first serial killer,
Mophet the Prophet clown.
My mom was his last victim.
She was at Kmart looking at
new baby costumes for Halloween.
That was the last time anyone ever saw her.
The police still can't connect
her disappearance to Mophet.
But my dad and I know that she has to be one
of his missing victims.
So why the clown pancakes? Trauma.
When I was in fourth grade, I went to Ryland's
for a sleepover when my dad was on a business trip
and that's when Mophet struck again.
This time, some guy in a play
at a local community college.
For weeks, I was terrified he'd be coming
for me like he did my mom.
I wouldn't go to school.
Hell, I wouldn't go anywhere.
That is until the police made a raid
on Kirk LePitre's house.
The cop shot and killed him.
They claim he came at them with a knife.
My dad told me.
As soon as he found out, he said,
"They caught the bad man, son."
Now we'll eat your fear away
by making this clown disappear
and you will forget about Mophet and your mother.
"We're almost there, Cameron. No more Mophet."
Thanks, Dad.
I just think I'm getting a bit
too old for clown pancakes.
- Oh, we are never too old to face our fears, son.
But I do wanna ask you, what is the sudden fascination
with early 2000s gay cinema?
- [Cameron] Oh, the guy who made it is a guest director
in one of the classes I'm taking.
- No way. Oh my God.
I want you to slide into his DMs
and get his graph from me off of his gram, okay, please.
- Dad, I have to get ready for work.
Movie theater's gonna be swamped tonight.
Another one of those fantasy book films came out.
So I'm gonna be swamped with lions, wizards
and sexy maidens.
- Well, I wouldn't want those sexy maidens
or those wizards to have to wait or anything.
Or whatever it is that your wand desires.
(water rushing)
- I want you.
You're dirty and I like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty and I like that
When it's just you and me
You're dirty and I like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty and I like that
- (indistinct)
Call me daddy.
I love Oscar colada Saturdays.
The breeze of the island, the mist.
- So what's your idea?
- Huh, good luck trying to get it out of him.
He wouldn't even tell me when I did something.
- No, God stop. No one needs to hear that.
I forgot how much of a prude you are.
- This is coming from the guy who just went outside
for the first time in what, two years?
- I go outside but only for what's worth it.
- Come on, tell us. What's your comeback?
- [Jerry] Yeah, you've gotta have something, right?
Carmelo? What's this?
- This is something I came up with after "The Closet."
It's about Carmelo Perez and Hope Alvarez.
(Oscar coughs)
- Only he can make me better.
It is not sad time, but can you?
It is on a mother.
- Too ethnic.
- Yeah, that's why it'll never get made.
Don't let Eryka hear you saying that.
You're gonna be stuck in her sensitivity class
from this Saturday for the rest of your life.
- What's the point?
- You're right. You people will never change.
- Let's watch that new show
everyone's been talking about.
- Oh, I feel like there's a new sex drama
on those streaming services every week.
What's this one about?
- This one's about some theater guy
except he's a coke dealer and a...
- Raging sex addict,
like if he was 10 years older.
- So it just came out?
- Yeah, you have to start it.
Where's Cameron?
- He had to call his dad on his walk.
Wouldn't wanna go missing like his mom.
- Ouch.
- Lesbian's can be catty too.
- Makes sense with all that pussy.
Hello? Dude, where are you?
- I'm walking home.
Oh by the way, I got a call from Oscar's assistant
and we got invited to Oscar's brainstorming party.
- We just got invited to Oscar's brainstorming party.
- Put him on speaker.
- [Cameron] So what are you guys doing?
- We're waiting for you to smoke.
So is this an all class thing?
- I don't think so.
He just told me to bring my blonde friend.
- Of course, he did, an all boys club.
Even with gay men, women are always put
on the back burner in film.
- Finally he noticed me.
It means I'm on my way up. - Or he knows you get
on your knees faster than an altar boy on Sundays.
- [Cameron] Okay, go ahead and swing by.
My dad's on a work trip.
You can drop us off.
- All right, see you soon, virgin.
- [Narrator] Welcome, this is episode one
of my new podcast, "Trill Crime."
Trillberry is a beautiful suburb in California,
but one with a long history
of mysterious disappearances,
which is unsolved crimes and serial killers.
Episode one will cover the origins of one
of Trillberry's favorite haunted tales,
the Lady of Red and her candle.
- Remember when we tried to
crack that case in high school?
- We were so crazy in high school.
Wait, wasn't that how you met Juan?
- Yes, that is how I met Juan Santiago,
Trillberry's most famous film snob.
You know, every time I buy a joint, I keep thinking
how far weed legislation has come.
- But it hasn't.
I was just talking to my class the other day about
how most people who are locked up
in prison are black and brown
and it's for small offenses like selling weed
or having weed.
- This podcast has facts, huh?
- See, that's the problem.
You are Afro-Latino and you deflect.
- Listen, I'm down for the cause
but not all of us can be Black Panther or Zorro.
(Both laugh)
- Zorro?
- Hey, you know, there's not many superheroes
for me to choose from.
You should teach that in your class.
Hey, let's listen to how crazy the white people
in Trillberry are and smoke some
of this Santa Marta gold.
Fucking white people.
- First AD, I was thinking maybe like walkie PA
or media wrangler.
First AD is like... The only role
I want is the fluffer.
- The role you were born for.
- Thanks Susan, babe.
- Not all strong women are lesbians.
- We live in Trump country, okay?
If you own a feminist book, you're a lesbian.
And you, you look like you're-
- A boy about to walk into a Dennison.
- Well, that's one way to put it.
- Is it sad that I want Oscar to notice me?
Like fuck, here I am big bad activist
and I want his approval.
Let's go.
I promised the derby girls I
would commentate tonight.
- That sport is so brutal.
- I don't think I could do this.
Maybe I'll just text him and
just tell him I can't make it.
- No, we're going tonight.
Tonight is the first step of my five point plan.
- I'm glad we know you have a plan.
No, seriously, come on, let's go.
(mellow music)
- [Oscar] You made it?
- Who would turn down the chance to hang out
with Trillberry's number one D-list celebrity?
- How do you take your cocktail?
- Stiff and dry.
- That can be arranged.
Elliot, do you wanna help make the next round?
- None for me. I gotta drive home soon.
- You know, there's a certain amount of time we can stay
before this becomes an inappropriate student
and professor meeting.
- I guess you don't wanna hit this.
- I'm a professor. I'm not fucking dead.
- So, professor, do we know
what project we're working on next?
- Oh, ask the genius.
- I'm so glad
that my favorite director finally feels inspired
to make a comeback.
- Inspired? Not so much.
Coerced? Very.
- That's my cue to go. I'll be back in the morning.
Please try to have the start of the script at least.
The dean's gonna be riding my until we have a plan.
- Be careful.
There's more than one bull here ready for a ride.
- That's my exit as well.
(ominous music)
- I still don't see how drinking
and playing games is helping you come up with an idea.
- If it helped him with that,
he would have another Oscar by now.
- Maybe I didn't have the right inspiration.
- [Ryland] Maybe I can help.
- So what is your process?
- Have you ever had a pimple on your ass?
A boil? No?
It's like that.
You can slowly start to feel it form
and then it starts to get bigger and more painful
and it's not ready to head,
so you wash your ass with hot
water and put on a compress.
And then after what seems like forever,
it burst, erupts, oozes with blood
and pus and pain and a wave of relief.
That is my writing process.
- So we are the warm compress?
- No, acid is.
Cameron, Ryland, have you ever done acid?
- [Ryland] Yeah and I'll do it.
- I don't know.
- Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
- I mean, it's fun and freeing.
- No need for pressure.
But you did say you wanted to understand.
(upbeat music)
- He didn't pressure me.
But have you ever met anybody
that just makes you feel like so free?
Like they're just so free
and lacking of any societal conformity,
it just makes you feel like
you could just do anything.
So I took it. I took the acid.
It was my matrix moment.
(upbeat music)
- I remember that. That was like crazy.
All the gay guys were scared
to use Trill List for hookups.
- My mom was taken by him.
- Crazy and not possible.
(upbeat music continues)
- You wanna paint me?
Make me your own.
- Stars look so beautiful tonight.
I can see all the constellations.
- I know. I could live this way forever.
(upbeat music continues)
- What the fuck?
- Oh yeah, I know I had to bust one
when I saw this for the first time.
Don't let me stop you.
- You ruined the mood.
It's true.
For the first time in years,
Ryland actually made me lose my boner.
- Have you heard anything from Oscar?
- Maybe that's why.
No, although the professor did
say that The Washup wanted us
to bring sonnets to class for our auditions.
- Sonnets?
- I always forget.
Culture's the one gay branch you didn't hit.
I'll help you pick one out later.
(phone beeps)
- Who's that?
- Not who? What?
- Come on, the suspense is killing me.
- The new episode of Trill Crime's Out.
- Wait, you watch Trill Crime?
Did you see that episode with Kennedy
and the aliens in the dam?
- Yeah, that was last week's episode.
Listen, Ryland, there's something I've been wanting
to talk to you about, something I've been working on.
- Yeah, there's also something
that I've wanted to tell you.
It's just been eating at my soul, burning my stomach.
It's Oscar.
He's just not returning my text.
I mean, does he even see me?
- How could he miss you?
You practically throw yourself at him like one
of those vampires from "Blade."
- Such an underrated saga.
Sorry, what were you saying?
- Nothing.
- Hey, is your dad home?
- Nah, he went away on another business trip.
- Cool. So I can stay the night.
I never understand
why your dad wouldn't let me when he's here.
- Trill Crime. You're a Trilly?
- What?
- A Trill detective.
That's what we call ourselves on Trill Date.
- Oh yeah, I love the podcast.
I still wonder who the host is.
Elliot? - Yeah.
- Do we know what his idea is yet?
- No clue.
He had me set a couple cases of beer outside his door,
but he never let me in.
But he did take a shower this morning
and when he came out, he said that he was ready
to hear us do our sonnets.
Luckily I took a sonnet class taught
by Juan Santiago a few summers ago.
- Well, I'm excited for the new episode.
Maybe we can listen together sometime.
- What was that about?
He was just talking to me about Trill Crime.
He's a sweet guy.
- Okay, everyone, Oscar's ready to hear your auditions.
- So is he still not gonna tell us a plot of this movie?
Like fuck, we've been waiting a week.
We've been out of class for a week while he's writing.
Where is he? I have a script ready, okay?
The Domestic Strife starring me
as Bo, the alcoholic hetero husband.
- No one is gonna believe
that you're a hetero wife beater.
And if you think that this business is all flowers
and compliments, you are far mistaken.
I know you have all prepared sonnets.
Forget that.
You will be reading this instead.
- This is only really just a formality.
I know that I'm supposed to
be playing the young peasant.
Oscar promised me the main role.
- This is why I never do film or theater.
It's too much nepotism
and I just wanna set up the props, set up the lights,
move the sandbags.
- Fun. So you're new to this class?
- Yeah, just transferred.
Didn't wanna miss the chance
to work with Oscar J Evans.
- As an unperfect actor on the stage.
Who with his fear is put beside his part
or some fierce thing replete with too much rage.
- Whose strengths abundance weakens his own heart.
So I, for fear of trust, forget
to say the perfect ceremony of love's right.
- And in my own love, strength seems to decay
or charge with brethren of mine.
- Oh, love's light.
Oh, let my books be then the eloquence
and presages of my speaking breast.
- Who plead for love and look for re-comp...
- Recompense.
More than that tongue that more hath more expressed.
- Oh, learn to read what side love hath...
- To hear my eyes belong with...
- [All] Love blinded by wit.
- He loves blind wit.
- Angel, you have proven
why this movie is going be a silent film.
Cameron has a cast list.
He will post it once I've left the building.
- I've got a meeting.
(footsteps pattering)
- [Elliot] What? He gave the lead to Ryland?
What the fuck?
- [Oscar] You know, I'm pretty
excited about this cast list.
It looks pretty good.
- Yeah, for a community college film class,
It's actually not about half bad.
- Well, I mean, they don't have to act.
Film is for pretty people, Jerry.
Theater is for ugly people.
Plus it's silent movie, all they have to do is smile
and glare at the camera.
Okay, that Ryland guy's pretty hot. I'll be honest.
If I wasn't his teacher, he'd be bent over this desk.
- You're not...
You're his teacher. Yeah, no.
(knuckles rapping)
- The Artist. I like it.
A renaissance film, brings you back to the classics.
- Well it really is a queer love story.
- Not queer, gay.
Unapologetically fucking gay.
- It reminds me
of that play you wrote years ago, Scapino's Revenge.
I was just going through old props.
Still have the prototypes.
Too bad that production fell through.
I'm thrilled at your idea.
- Hey, if you're so thrilled,
how about sparing us a classroom?
- I'm thrilled.
Let's not give the dog a treat before he rolls over.
- Hmm.
- The guy is such an asshole.
- It's weird that he said dog.
Do you think he likes it doggy style?
- Don't make me think about him like that.
Oh, it's in there.
- That's my thought.
- You're a dick.
Work hard, get dough
I can't get no sleep, please make my life more simple
Miles inside these shoes, so I don't stop, I tiptoe
- Your dad said you were up here.
What are you looking at?
- Promise not to laugh?
- Promise not to laugh.
I am mad that you started the
new episode without me though.
- I wasn't really listening.
It was just kind of like background noise.
- I'm joking. So?
- This is my mother.
- Explain.
- Second grade, Ms. Lucas's class.
We were told to bring pictures
of our mother for Mother's Day.
We were supposed to make special frames for them.
The thing is, my dad didn't
have any pictures of my mother.
So instead I just sat in the corner crying
and then I looked up and there was Ryland.
He sat with me and we talked.
He asked what I thought my mother looked like
and then he drew this.
You know, Ryland's always been there for me.
Like even when his parents
kicked him outta the house,
after he came out at homecoming junior year,
he didn't even bat an eye.
He just looked at me and said,
"Now we both have grandmothers."
- And you two never?
- No, no.
- Looked into who your mom might be?
- Oh, I thought you were gonna ask something else.
No.
Every time I brought it up to my father,
he just says it's too painful and changes the subject.
I feel like my whole life I've just been wondering
who she is and if there's more to it.
Then after taking acid with Oscar, Ryland and Elliot,
Oscar told me something.
He said that Mophet only killed gay twinks.
- You really weren't paying attention
to the new episode, were you?
- Well, you said you didn't listen.
- I listened just a little bit
because the intro was really thrilling.
Trillberry serial killer
or the product of America's homophobia.
- Can I show you something?
Ever since that night I've been thinking.
So many things don't make sense.
Like, is my father even really my father?
I just been watching too many
episodes of Switched at Birth?
- You can figure that out.
- What do you mean?
- You know, for a conspiracy buff,
you are a little late to the party.
DNA test.
Just take a sample from your
dad, take a sample from you
and just send it in.
- How though?
- Just wait till he is gone
and take some hair from his brush.
With that bump, he uses a brush.
- He'll be gone tomorrow but we have school.
- Aren't you sick and need to
rest for this weekend shoot?
- Yeah. Maybe a little.
What do you say we listen to that new episode.
- That's what I came here for.
- [Narrator] Welcome, this is episode six of Trill Crime.
And today we'll begin to talk about the case.
- Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just here to talk to Oscar and the professor.
Where is the professor?
- He's at the campsite preparing for tomorrow's shoot.
- Class seems a little light.
- It's just our production meeting.
It's our major crew and our cast
except our first AD.
He's not here.
- What's your role?
- I'm the best boy.
- The best boy? I've seen that in the film credits.
What does the best boy do?
- And this is Ryland.
He is our star and lead.
He's the young lad who discovers himself in art
and a Renaissance Lord's young son.
- Hmm.
Well it seems like you
got a whole Mighty Ducks thing going on.
Come see me after class and
bring the professor with you.
- I've never actually been camping before.
- Good. A lesbian has never been camping before.
- My sexuality has nothing
to do with adventure sports.
- It's okay.
The only thing Angel knows about is water sports.
- Oh fucking days.
Juan.
- That is Professor Dr.
- Juan Santiago.
- Shut up.
- We came here to check out the competition,
but as usual, you land flaccid.
When we heard that you had given up your haze
of whippets and winks, we didn't believe them.
- Hey, he may be a mess, but he is a genius.
- Okay, Juan, you
and your children of corn have made your point.
- We have not even begun.
- To make our point.
- Juan, what has happened to you?
You become such a tool.
- Who in this room runs the
best theater and film program
in the city and soon to be state?
- [Both] Juan Santiago does.
- My students and our film will wipe your film
off this planet.
- Yeah.
- Shut up, Angel.
- (laughs) Oh, wanna bet on that?
- I would bet my life on that.
- Not your life, your Oscar, Oscar.
(Both clap)
- Deal.
But when I win, I get the bio rights to Carmelo the film.
(All clap)
- But if I win,
I get the streaming royalties from "The Closet."
(Both clap)
- Deal.
Now get out of here.
You're sucking all the joy out
of this classroom like a fucking dementor.
And take your dogs too.
- So guys, I was thinking about-
- Elliot, I said fucking silent film.
- As the lead, I think we should all blow off some steam
tonight at Trillberry's Pride Center Drag Night.
- Ryland's right.
You all need to blow off steam
'cause tomorrow at 9:00 AM, it's war.
Go check on Cameron.
We can't make this fucking movie without Cameron.
- So what are you gonna do for money
after you sell the last Oscar?
- I think you remember Tito's.
Seriously, I love their fucking burritos.
We're going to get our ass spanked like Daddy Dean.
- Take a seat.
I've been looking over the proposal
for tomorrow night's trip.
The school has decided
it's too big of a liability risk
for a sanction overnight.
- They approved that months ago.
- Circumstances have changed.
- Are you saying that I have
to change my entire movie overnight just
to accommodate these new updates?
- [Dean] Okay, we'll give the students a good perspective
on adapting to obstacles.
- So we can only shoot and hike during the day?
- That's correct.
And you'll still need that female faculty member
to be a part of the trip.
- You are still
that little control freak house manager, aren't you?
Screw this world. Screw you.
- He'll be fine.
He's a genius.
He once had to rewrite an entire script
because the lead actor had a breakdown.
- It's your job on the line, not mine.
Hope you can pull it together.
Now get out. I have some real work to do.
(upbeat music)
- Place this camera (indistinct)
That's gold.
Join us.
- I'm in.
(phone beeps)
- Okay, we've already had a few setbacks.
Professor tubby ass isn't here.
He's stuck at my house, okay?
And Selena has twisted her ankle
so she's gonna hold up base camp with Professor Eryka.
Everyone check your emails.
I sent out a new script last night.
- Angel just texted me.
He said that he and Elliot are gonna be a bit late.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
- He changes the script every five minutes.
- That's why I don't read them.
- It looks like I can get more camera time
than I thought I was going to.
- Okay everyone, let's go.
Let's find the first shooting location
and me and Ryland are gonna smoke a joint
while you guys set it up.
(upbeat music)
- It's really cool that I get to hang out with you.
You spoke at my high school about inclusion
when I was a senior
and it really inspired me.
- Hmm, so you're a smart one.
So then why did you want to get into film?
- I don't.
I wanna be an investigative journalist
which sounds crazy because
I know it's a dying art form.
- Well, you know, journalism has made way for podcasts
and coyote news.
- That's exactly why I wanna get into it.
I could easily sensationalize
like the podcast everyone
is talking about, Trill Crime,
but I want facts, evidence, DNA.
I want real proof.
What happened?
- I thought I saw something.
You know what? It's probably just because I'm starving.
Why don't we go get some food?
I'm gonna run to the garage and grab my purse.
(ominous music)
- I guess you're stressing. Can we get a break?
- No.
- (indistinct) - Because every time
we only get breaks in between the scenes
that we're behind on and now we have to...
See? Now he's fucking calling.
- Oh my God.
(upbeat music)
Well, how's he been treating you?
The first AD privileges.
- It's different. It's cool.
I like it.
I'm learning a lot. - It doesn't seem
like you like it.
You're like really quirky and weird. I kind of love it.
- Thanks.
(upbeat music continues)
- (indistinct)
It's fucking bad.
- Don't bring that up.
That was really embarrassing.
But like I don't really know how read very well,
so like I didn't see that in the title.
That's why I like cameras.
- He was like super complicated on the first day.
Like what Professor even does that?
- Right? I mean, mad respect for me as a creative genius,
but like... Okay. Okay, that's enough.
That's enough.
(upbeat music continues)
- (indistinct)
- He was just saying like some bullshit.
(upbeat music)
(urine trickling)
- [Curtis] Are you okay?
- Other than the fact
that you just scared me, like a Wes Craven movie, yeah.
- [Curtis] Sorry. Sorry, my bad.
- I thought I heard something.
Then I had to pee.
- [Curtis] It's colder than I thought it was
gonna be out here
and it looks like Ryland left our tent
to go sleep with Oscar in the garage.
- These shrooms keep messing with me.
I keep feeling like I'm seeing something.
- [Curtis] Isn't the point to see things?
- Let's go to bed.
(ominous music)
- Can I spend the night with you? It's cold out there.
- Yeah, you can sleep on the couch.
- Hey, little testy today, huh?
(light switch clicks) - What?
- You're here, son.
So how did that long filming weekend go?
You didn't join any wild Hollywood sex cults, did you?
- What? No.
- Hey, little testy today, huh?
- Sorry dad. I'm just tired is all.
- You know, mother used to say that stage
and film were the devil's workshop.
Did I ever tell you that I
actually wanted to be an actor?
- You mean corporate
reconstruction wasn't your dream?
- Now, just because you are an adult, young man,
doesn't mean that you can mock me, okay?
- You never talk about grandma.
- Well, she died two years before you were born.
You know, you are my pride and joy
and, you know, you were named after her father.
- So did you ever try it?
- Try what?
- Acting, theater, film?
- I did. I dabbled in it a little bit after she passed.
I joined the Trillberry Players
and I worked with them on a few shows backstage.
I even ran for the crew of Oklahoma,
but they never let me actually go on stage.
I was gonna go on stage once,
but unfortunately it didn't happen.
It was for Scapino's Revenge.
Oh, it was a hilarious play.
- Sounds so familiar. What happened?
- Well, right before we were about to open,
the playwright ended up going mainstream
so his agent and managers pulled the whole rights
of the show.
Anyway, that was back then.
That's what sort of led to the fall of the theater.
It was never the same after that. We became a film town.
It was actually kind of a blessing.
It sort of rescued Trillberry
because agriculture was dying
and so film became the focus.
Anyway, that was the past.
Now we're an eSports town. Go Zelda!
Anyway, that's enough about me.
Plus those theater people
really weren't my thing anyway.
I never really fit in with them.
Numbers and order, that's my jelly.
- What's mom's jelly?
- Drugs. Drugs were your mom's jelly.
She was a terrible soul
and now that you're old enough to understand,
you should know how troubled that she was.
I loved her deeply
but she had her faults.
I am completely convinced though,
that God meant to bring us together
so that we could have you.
You are my pride and joy.
- I should get some rest. I had a long trip.
- All right. Lemme give you one last piece of advice.
Don't let Oscar J Evans work you too hard.
Got it?
- So?
- Yes?
- Do you even like me?
- I wouldn't have you in my house if I didn't.
- [Ryland] Then why haven't you made a move?
- Believe me, I've thought about it.
I'm not gonna lie. I want to.
But you were the star of my film
and my students.
(upbeat music)
- You see that? From across the room
And I feel like - Oh my God
I clench my hands tight, so
I won't unleash it too soon
Give it to me what I'm owed
And I'll wrap you up and we play hide and seek
And our heart rate climbs up above 130
- Did he just hit him? Oh, y'all freaky.
Because you told me that you like to get dirty
- He let you do that? I like that
- No. Did I?
When it's just for me
You told me you like that
When no one else can see
You're dirty, I like that
- Wow. That bitch.
This is what we need though.
This is what's gonna get him.
If he taught us one thing, it's not to cry over men.
We're gonna expose his ass.
Little whore. Look at them both.
- Yeah, look at them.
- [Angel] Still looks dirty though.
I would hope that you know
better than to pause our bond
You know we are a rarity
It's so easy to prepare, but too hard to escape
Better not to get bent out of shape
And now cover up your eyes
Now spell out it slowly
All the things that you've done right
You're dirty and I like that
When it's just for me
You're dirty and I like that
When no else can see
You're dirty and I like that
(knuckles rapping)
- It's here.
- What's here?
- The test.
Did you tell Ryland about this?
- He's been kind of busy.
- Are you gonna open it?
- I don't know if I can.
Can you do it?
- Whoa. No, no, no.
This could be the most
groundbreaking moment of your life.
You have to do it.
Plus, if it's news that you don't want,
I don't wanna be associated with it.
(envelope rustling)
- It said Doug's not my father.
- Maybe you're adopted.
- But then why would he lie about my mother?
- Well, have you tried maybe submitting it
to trillaccessory.com
or one of those other DNA relative websites?
I did one and I found out a bunch
of relatives I didn't know I had.
Maybe you could do it to find your mom.
- I can't even think about my mom right now. Who's my dad?
- He's not the monster everyone's making him out to be.
- Tell that to Domestic Strife.
Fuck him. He's a slut pig.
Can't wait to get my nails done tomorrow.
- I gotta get my eyebrows done too.
- Yeah, why they doing it like that?
- Wait, you...
Wait.
Shut the fuck up.
- It's just some pervert trying to cruise.
Go away, weirdo. We're not here to prove.
- Yeah, no fats, no femmes.
(ominous music)
- Hello, are you just gonna stand there
and not say anything like it's on Halloween.
(both screaming)
- Oh my god.
Oh my god.
No, no, no, no.
Are you fucking leaving?
Oh my god.
You fucking whore.
Elliot, Elliot!
Oh my god.
(indistinct)
Bitch, bitch.
- [Narrator] "The Closet," Trillberry's
own Oscar winning movie
but it is also a murderer
among relationships and careers.
After obtaining documents, I will tell you
what has been trapped in the closet for 20 years.
A tale of sex, betrayal and secret babies.
This is Trill Crime.
- Did I ever tell you why I stopped doing film?
- No.
- It was hard being a 17-year-old Oscar winner.
Not as hard as it would be today with social media
but tabloids were king
and I was an out and proud gay actor.
I let the fame get to me
and I pushed everyone I loved away.
It didn't help that I kept on getting letters
from Kirk LePitre, who you know as Mophet the Prophet.
- You need to take these notes to the police.
- There is no fucking clown out to kill me, Juan.
It's a fucking stalker.
You are just jealous.
I'm the only one from Trilldiodian who made it.
And you were all gung-ho when you were coming along
for the ride on "The Closet"
but you got jealous as soon as they replaced you.
- When they replaced me.
You replaced me and used their words to do it.
America isn't ready for two Latin gay male leads
and you were so quick to replace me
with Justin Travis Thompson.
Now what? You wanna make a movie about our people?
My family?
What?
Are you going to cast some German kid
to play my grandfather?
You're a sellout.
- I am a sellout?
We're fucking sellouts.
It's not like our TV show, "Hanging in the Playground"
was any fucking masterpiece of art.
I don't see Jerry complaining
about his free ride to college.
And you, Mr. NYU,
you think you would've gotten into NYU
with your brown ass if you weren't semi-famous?
- Oscar, when are you gonna
stop ignoring this freight train
that's heading toward you?
When the tabloids blasted
you for sleeping with an EP,
who stood by your side and told 'em it was all a lie?
These letters are serious. This killer is serious.
This killer is a plague in our community.
He's targeting young, gay men.
In the papers today, there was a story about
how the last body was in a commedia dell'arte pose
in a fucking mask.
He is taunting our community.
- Are you going to give me the rights to Carmelo or not?
- No.
- Then get the fuck outta here and never come back.
Got another letter.
"Make another movie, spreading your sin
and I will take those closest to you."
That's what I knew. I was the bringer of death.
I've been waiting for them to connect the dots.
All those men who have died, they were a part of my life.
Late night hookups, PAs, chorus boys, all of them.
I knew them.
I was like the virus spreading
through our community
wreaking havoc of fun and party.
- Why didn't you just call the police?
- All they would've seen is a brown man
connected to the victims.
Open and shut.
- You're gonna regret today
and I won't be waiting anymore when you do.
- I don't need you. I don't need anyone.
- You're right. You just need your party.
- Everyone's fucking replaceable, Juan, everyone.
(mellow music)
- But why not make a movie when Kirk was killed?
- That's the thing.
The letter came three weeks after he died.
I'm finally getting out of the shadows
and now my past is here to slaughter me.
Well that's enough old man stories.
I'm sure you came here to say goodbye.
- No, what we did wasn't wrong.
(ominous music)
(phone beeps)
- Jumpy banana shake.
- It's been a while since any one
in this town's gone missing.
- Makes you think about your mother, huh?
Lemme tell you something, Cameron.
Love is a very strange drug
and God uses it to either
tempt us or to nurture us with.
- How did you know you even loved my mother?
- Well, I know that I love you
more than absolutely anything
in this world, including your mother.
That's to answer your question.
You know that you love someone
when you realize that you
will do absolutely anything
to protect 'em from harm.
- [Cameron] Even lie to them?
- Cameron, what is bothering you?
I mean these interesting
questions that you keep asking me.
- You're bleeding. What happened?
- Oh, it's nothing, fiddle sticks.
I was just, you know, opening up a can of tuna
and accidentally cut it.
It's absolutely nothing.
I remember when you first brought this home.
Back then Ryland was all you could talk about
for years and years.
Oh, I am so glad that you are finally starting
to grow away from him.
I mean, that boy is trouble.
- Maybe it's time for you to put mother away.
- Let me tell you something, Cameron.
Love will make you mad.
(doorbell rings)
Who is that?
Do you have somebody coming over?
You know that I don't like you having friends over
while I'm out on a business trip.
- He's just picking me up.
We're gonna go see Ryland and Oscar.
- Cameron, you wanna throw your life away?
I mean, you really wanna risk losing all
of your credits for the entire semester just to go
and see Oscar J Evans?
Look, you can go and see him
after the semester is over, okay?
(knuckles rapping)
And you, you wanna waste the rest of your semester too?
Look, I read the news guys.
I know what's going on, okay?
You look like a smart boy.
You know, Cameron, I better not hear
that you went over to Oscar J.
Evans house or to see Ryland.
You understand?
Now, please don't stay too late tonight, okay?
I'll see you on Monday.
I love you.
- Thanks for coming.
- [Curtis] So we're going to Oscar's?
- I'm kind of hungry.
Let's go to Tito's and then we'll see what Ryland says.
- Hey, hey, it's okay.
We're gonna get you answers, okay?
- I still can't believe about
that student missing from Juan Santiago's class.
It's almost like there's-
- A Mophet copycat? I know.
- Yeah.
- The Trill Boards are going crazy.
Let's not talk about that.
(indistinct)
- (speaks foreign language)
- Can you believe those fucking ass hats
didn't even show up to our party?
- Okay, I'm gonna go shower upstairs.
Come join me when you blow off steam.
I'll be back.
- Where have you two been?
- We were at Tito's.
I was craving one of their burritos.
- He missed Oscar but didn't wanna go over to his house.
Ryland said he was having a breakdown.
- Yeah, I saw the post.
They're really not letting him on campus?
- Yeah, he's suspended.
- Yeah and the dean's threatening
any students that go over
to his house could lose their credits for the course.
- Which sucks 'cause
Ryland said he was gonna
throw a killer ugly sweater party.
- Yeah and there's a bunch of rumors going
around about a missing student
from Juan Santiago's class.
- Yeah, the Trill Boards are going fucking crazy.
Crazier than that time
that kid saw Bigfoot at the Trill Creamery.
- Okay, sounds like a bunch of, I don't knows.
(phone dialing)
- Pick up your phone, you fucking shit.
(water rushing)
- [Ryland] I was hoping you would join me.
Listen, the age difference isn't a big thing.
I went after you.
You always pushed me away
until the movie was completely done.
This is not like a Kevin Spacey moment.
More like a...
How?
What are those two guys from
that old gay TV show you always talk about?
I get it, you wanna watch
but really what is their names?
- Brian and Justin. - What the fuck?
Cameron's dad, what are you doing here?
- I never really liked you, Ryland.
I always knew that you would never amount
to anything but a whore.
That's a problem when you like boys.
You're all sluts.
(ominous music)
- [Ryland] Your dad's Mophet.
Cameron.
- What's wrong?
What's up with your friend?
- He said that my dad, Doug.
He said that he's Mophet.
- What?
- It's a fucking joke.
It's a Ryland joke.
- It makes sense though.
Every single time his dad's been
on a business, somebody gets killed.
If Trill Crime's right, then that's the perfect alibi
because that means if Marigold O'Malley
and The Washup did have a baby,
then that means-
- You're that baby.
- What the fuck? Where did you get that?
- I found it in the basement along with this.
- And you're just telling us right now?
- I didn't wanna believe it.
- Fuck. Cameron, Mophet, your dad, he kills twinks.
Ryland is the perfect target.
- We need to go now.
- Let's go.
(door rattles)
- Ryland, I'm so sorry I took it out on you.
If there's one thing about this project
that was worth it, it was meeting you.
- [Doug] And you tainted him.
- Ryland, it's not funny, buddy.
- [Doug] I'm not Ryland.
- Then who are you?
- [Doug] You don't remember me, do you?
- I'm supposed to?
- It is I, Scapino.
- What the fuck did you do with Ryland?
- I told you 25 years ago not to create,
and I told you that those
that you loved would be taken from you.
Mother was right.
You are all the same, your kind.
You liberal gay artists.
You are gonna ruin this country tempting us boys,
us good Christian boys
with your effeminate whores and your twinks.
That's why I had to rid the world
of the ones that you touched.
You took everything from me just like daddy back
when he ran away with that rodeo clown.
- I remember you, always lurking
in the back being weird if I go homo with the boys.
- Do you remember laughing at me?
Do you remember berating me?
Do you remember how you laughed at me?
Do you remember how you mocked me
and made fun of me and berated me?
You treated me like I was a rat.
But you, you all were the rats,
the locust that God put on this earth
that I had to cleanse up.
When mother died,
God told me that I had to continue her great work.
I had to continue doing mother's great work.
The work of eradicating the virus of homosexuality
that was permeating the garden of Trillberry.
I almost thought she was wrong.
Just for a minute, I thought
maybe I could go on the stage
and then I could maybe become a star
and you took that away from me
and that's why I took him
to save him from your mark of Cain.
- The theater burned down, how
are we supposed to do a show?
- It burned down because you made me burn it down.
I framed Kirk LePitre.
He was an idiot who didn't deserve the attention.
You are the idiot that mother told me about.
And you are not gonna take my son away from me.
I'm telling I'm going to get you.
How about this?
God wanted me to find Cameron, the product
of you and that witch, Marigold
and to save him from your eternal sin.
(gun fires) (Mophet screams)
- Yeah, that's a good way to (indistinct).
- Are you guys okay? - Where's your dad?
- He's right over...
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
Taking turns
Not a lesson learned
Who'd imagined I would crash and burn
But you got me there
So I'm declaring
A silent war
Can't do it anymore
This is not what I was asking for
But you got me here
Then you disappeared
Was it always meant to be a dream
No win in sight
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel
In return
Yet a page has turned
Another story written in my own words
'Cause you got me here
Still I'm prepared
To end this war
To close the door
Pick up the pieces
Scattered on the floor
But you got me here
Still I'll disappear
Was it always meant to be a dream
No win in sight
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel
Even what could've been
Would never have worked for me
Even if I've been dreaming 'bout it
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Hopelessly sure of how I feel
The broken never heal
In the middle of the night
You'll see me fighting
Foolishly sure of what is real
The broken never heal
Wish I was made of steel