USB (2026) Movie Script
1
I'm just a simple guy
I like a burger patty or two
To start the day
(door slams)
(sizzling sound)
(upbeat music)
(keyboard clicking)
(upbeat brass band music)
(ship explodes)
(water splashes)
- [Soldier] Mission 4-7-6-A.
I am here to document
the American super weapon
being kept on this island.
There is an outpost on the
other side of this island,
being used to monitor and
observe the experiment.
- [Radio Receiver] Status
report, what have you learned?
- [Soldier] Apparently they have acquired
some sort of new technology
from a foreign source.
It is said to be able to cause destruction
on an unbelievable scale.
- [Radio Receiver] The
rescue vessel shall be coming
at 06:00 morrow.
(footsteps)
- [Soldier] Our intelligence
sources have reported
the Americans are buying 10,000
heads of cattle every month.
(footsteps)
(dinosaur shrieks)
(soldier screams in foreign language)
(footsteps)
(soldiers scream in foreign language)
- [Soldier] This must be
the American laboratory.
(footsteps)
(water bubbling)
(electrical sparks hissing)
No, no, no, do not...
(creatures growl)
(soldier pants heavily)
Run!
(footsteps)
(lizard growls)
A giant lizard.
(lizard growls)
We can escape as they fight.
(lizard growls)
(soldier screams in foreign language)
(footsteps)
I have to help.
(soldier pants heavily)
(zombie growls)
(soldier pants heavily)
(water splashes)
(zombie growls)
(soldiers scream in a foreign language)
(gunshots)
The mutants are attacking again.
(soldiers scream in foreign language)
(gunshots)
(zombie growls)
(machine gun rattles)
We have to complete the mission.
(dinosaur growls) (soldiers scream)
(gunshots)
(water splashes gently)
- [Radio Receiver] Your
rescue has been canceled.
There will be no more transmission.
(water crashes gently)
(footsteps) (nature sounds)
(water splashes gently)
(footsteps)
(water splashes)
(cows mooing)
(footsteps)
(dinosaur shrieks)
(machine gun rattles)
(keyboard clicks)
- [Narrator] It does not help
that my own private Christmas ritual
had gotten outta hand this year.
The mask of sanity sticks to my face
as I try to peel it off with my fingers.
(ominous music)
Still, I have to wonder,
for all the pain, terror,
and malfeasance that I've
brought upon this world,
there are people who have done worse.
My worst nightmare could
be here on this block.
- Hey, look at this guy.
- What's up, old man?
- Please help me.
- [Thug] Man, screw you, you bum.
- It's the holidays.
- [Thug] Yo, what you got for us?
- Come on, spare some change, man.
(thudding sounds)
Stop beating me, why are you hurting me?
(upbeat music) (thudding sounds)
- Because we hate society and
we just wanna destroy society.
You bum, nobody's got shit for you.
(thudding sounds) (upbeat music)
(police radio speaks indistinctly)
- [Narrator] Not today, Satan, not today.
My distaste for the holiday
season is both physical
and metaphysical, material and immaterial,
both with form and without.
You could say that the crowds
of mindless consumers are the problem.
That they are what exasperates
my hate for the human race.
Like high winds on a deadly fire.
However, this would not be accurate.
These people are part of the economy
and their consumption,
although conspicuous
is a feature rather than a bug.
My problem, however,
is that behind the veneer
that I show to the world,
there are deep cracks,
fault that lead straight down to hell.
(door shuts)
(keys clank)
(footsteps)
- [Thug] They got a lot
of fun stuff in there.
Come on guys.
- [Thug] You just want to go
on a shopping spree, ha ha ha.
- So you'd rather stand
out here in the cold?
Let's keep it moving.
- [Thug] Told you it's all locked up.
- [Thug] We should go around
back, I can get us in.
(metal music) (glass shatters)
- [Narrator] With all this
negativity going around
during the holidays, give
yourself a treat, you deserve it.
If you feel something pulling at you,
it's nothing short of your destiny
to march towards that reward
with single-minded conviction.
(footsteps) (ominous music)
(blood splashes)
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, that hurt.
(metal music)
- What are we even doing here?
- Bruh, I don't know.
- You guys are like the two
biggest posers I've ever met.
- Well, you're a poser,
all the bands you listen to suck.
- You're a poser man.
- You only listen to poser bands.
- Bro, you both listen
to hipster black metal.
You guys are both posers.
- Shut up, all the bands
you listen to are stupid.
- Ha, ha, your face is stupid.
- [Thug] Well,
shut up all the bands you listen to...
- [Thug] Oh look, it's Santa Claus.
- I don't think that guy's okay.
He looks like he's on one.
- [Thug] It's a mall Santa.
- [Thug] Oh, did Santa get too
drunk at work and pass out?
(gunshots)
- Run!
(metal music)
(footsteps)
(gunshots)
- [Thug] Oh no!
(footsteps)
(gunshots)
(thugs pant heavily)
(footsteps)
(mellow techno music)
(footsteps)
(Santa Claus groans)
(footsteps)
(gunshot)
(Santa Claus groans)
- No!
(motorized saw roars)
- Okay then.
(gunshots) (motorized saw roaring)
- [Narrator] This is not an admission
in the traditional sense,
but perhaps I am admitting
some inconvenience
in dealing with the inevitable
consequences of my actions.
(ominous music)
(gunshot)
(keyboard clicks)
(ominous music)
My Uncle Wallace was a
different kind of guy.
Never one for family functions.
He was always more
interested in the occult,
the arcane, alchemy. (upbeat music)
For better or worse,
the family says I
followed in his footsteps.
Here I am years later looking for him.
(upbeat music)
(bell rings)
(mellow music)
(bell rings)
(footsteps)
I am am gonna have to inline
skate the whole way there
as not to arouse suspicion.
Might as well listen to
some radio on the trip.
(radio static cracking)
(mellow music)
(radio static cracking)
- [DJ] Owen Dead,
coming to you on the Zombie KZOB.
We've got some reports
of a mysterious red light
coming from north of the city.
Some are even calling
it the red ray of death.
Stay safe out there, zombies.
(rock music)
We've got more reports
of mysterious explosions
also coming from the
north edge of the city,
somewhere beyond the
wasteland by the old graveyard.
Is there really a graveyard out there
or is it just called that?
Why don't you call in and let us know.
8-1-8-5-5-5 KZOB.
(radio static cracking)
- [Narrator] Kinda hard
walking on the grass
with these skates.
Let me just jumped the fence here, aah!
(footsteps)
He built a laboratory out
in this area decades ago.
(footsteps)
The cemetery is really old,
way older than the city itself.
Believe it or not, the people in the city
don't even know it's out here.
(werewolf howls)
(footsteps)
Wait, that shack.
(door creaks)
That's Uncle Wallace,
this is his laboratory.
(footsteps)
That book, hey, wait, I,
I, I recognize that book.
What, what's happening?
(person pants heavily)
(werewolf howls)
Oh my God, what's that?
It's, it's a beam.
(person pants heavily)
(creature roars)
Where's the exit?
(footsteps) (person pants heavily)
Oh, what is that?
(person pants heavily)
What was that?
Don't kill me.
(creature shrieks)
Oh my God.
(motor roars) (truck hoots)
Oh My God.
(person pants heavily)
(motor roars)
Oh my God, oh God!
Oh my God, please don't kill me.
Please, oh, oh, oh God.
(creature growls) (static cracks)
(creature shrieks)
(keyboard clicks)
- [Narrator] So I'm
doing this little section
of the Appalachian Trail here.
I know this is kind of late
in the year to be doing it.
A lot of people aren't up
here at this time of year,
so I'm gonna be doing it solo.
(birds chirping)
Oh, I'm already sweating.
I forgot how crappy my cardio was
until I'm like in it, you know?
Ah, there's not a lot of shade out
here, not yet anyway.
We'll see.
The sky is cloudless right now, man.
And this path, hoo, I'm dragging my feet.
Oh, come on man, pick it up.
(footsteps) (birds chirping)
Oh, I can see someone up ahead.
Purple backpack, I think, moving fast.
This is bad for me.
It means I either have to pass the guy
or pretend like I'm way
fitter than I really am.
It's either that or spend the next hour
eating this guy's dust.
Okay, time to pick it up.
(wind swooshing)
Okay, I finally passed that
person in the white robe.
I didn't see their face though.
Yeah, the first hill is
always the worst, right?
Okay, we're powering through, let's go.
I've already got that burn going.
Okay, on the plus side,
well, hell, there is no plus side yet.
That's a weird little pile of stones.
Huh, it looks like a grave marker.
Nah, the dirt isn't disturbed.
It's just a stack.
I don't know, it's probably
just a carry or something.
Anyway, this is a why I'm recording this,
to get this kind of stuff here, you know?
All these cool little trail details.
If I didn't have this guy running,
no one would ever believe me. (chuckles)
Oh man, the sun's getting
brutal out here right now.
My shirt's sticking to me
and it says it's only 45 degrees
out, it's weird.
I keep on thinking I smell metal and meat.
I don't know if it's just my imagination.
(footsteps)
Check out this green,
fur-like moss on the trunks here.
Ah, shit! (groans)
(static hisses) (vultures grunt)
I nearly tripped.
There's like, there must be like a big rut
in the path back there.
Is it just this wet dent?
Maybe the grass is covering it up.
I, I stepped in something.
Ah, the momentum just
jerked my knee a good one.
Ah, crap.
Ah, my knee is kind of screwed up now,
but that's what Advil's for, right?
Ah, man.
Ah, that person's still up ahead.
It looks like there's two of them now.
A purple backpack and
another one I can't make out.
They're pretty far up there.
You know, I'm way off trail at this point,
but it, I, I don't even care,
I just want to catch up to those people.
No one else is behind me, that's good.
I hate when I start getting passed up
by granny's power walking.
(birds chirp) (flies buzzing)
God, it smells like straight
up hell, like death and rot.
Not sure if a raccoon got into
something or something died.
I don't know,
there's no septic line around here.
It was sharp enough to make
my eyes sting for a second,
that's for sure.
(birds chirping) (flies buzzing)
If it's gonna be like that the whole way,
I'm coming back with no sense of smell.
The second hill is a little bit
worse, I'm not gonna lie.
The incline is steeper,
the dust is, the dust is thin.
So I keep on kicking up the little poofs
every time I push off.
My knee isn't feeling any better
and now there's something
wrong with my feet.
I keep thinking about that
stone pile back there too,
for some reason, I don't know why.
It's weird how stuff like that
just hangs out in your
head after you see it.
Even if it's like, you know,
totally None of my business.
Trashed all my supplies.
Oh my God.
It must have been those people,
it couldn't have been anyone else.
(wind swooshes)
I, I don't even believe this.
How could I, how could I have
not heard them last night?
This doesn't make any sense.
(static scratches) (vultures grunt)
Okay, I think I just
got one more mile to go.
The thing is,
the woods get a lot thicker up here.
It's just me and the
sound of my own huffing
and I guess the birds.
Ah, maybe those people cut
off on one of the side trails.
Yeah, most of them are blocked.
It's pretty thick around here anyway,
I don't see where they would've gone.
So if you look up here
from the mile marker,
the path ahead is empty.
Ah, who knows?
Maybe I'm just losing it,
wouldn't be the first time.
(squirrel shrieks)
I'm trying to pay attention
to some of the flora
and fauna around here.
There was a red squirrel doing
a straight up murder scream
back there a couple minutes ago.
At some point,
there's supposed to be a pond up here.
I don't know,
maybe it dried up or something.
Honestly, it was the only landmark
I'm really looking
forward to at this point.
I can barely hear shoes over
the wind, but they're there.
It's not even that much
wind, but I don't know,
it's hard to hear them for some reason.
(static hisses) (vultures grunt)
It's like this restless feeling, right?
Before the storm, you know?
When the static air makes
the hair on your arms stand up.
My own sweat's making me
cold, kinda gross.
I guess it's better than overheating.
(footsteps)
I keep thinking about taking a break,
trying to get in the
shade, stretching out.
Maybe I'll do that the next chance I get.
Anyway, that's enough for this update.
Okay, I was waiting for the pond
and I see a bench up
ahead, so that must be it.
Let's go check that out.
(footsteps)
So, fun fact, this bench is dedicated
to beloved Grandpa Leonard.
There's a little plaque that says that.
It's all covered with green corrosion,
except for this one little part.
It looks like someone scratched
the number 17 over and over.
That's kind of intense.
Whatever.
So much quieter when you're not walking.
(fire cracks)
There's something moving
around over there, what is that?
It's probably just a chipmunk.
They did it again.
Oh my God.
Hey, if you're out there,
if you can hear me,
what do you want?
Hey, it's one of those people, up ahead.
Hey, hey, you, I wanna talk to you.
Hey, get back here.
Hey, stop, why are you ignoring me?
Hey you?
Yeah.
Just like that, they disappeared.
I, I have no words.
I, I don't even know
what's going on anymore.
(vultures grunt) (static hisses)
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I, I think I see one
of those hikers again.
Yeah, yeah, way down the
slope, way down there.
I guess they did go off trail.
Is that a fence down there or a gorge?
I, I can't make it out.
Anyway, why would they even go down there?
That's kind of strange.
Hey, hey you,
why didn't you trash my campsite?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Hey, did you trash my camp last night?
(footsteps)
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Hey!
Hey, come back here.
Hey, can you hear me?
Hey, wait, what are they doing?
What the hell is this?
Are they dancing?
Hey, I don't think they've
been able to hear me.
(creatures scream)
(creature speaks indistinctly)
- [Narrator] Oh my God, it's alive.
Oh my God, get away from
me, get away from me.
Stop, what are you doing?
Stop, I, I I, I'm sorry, get away.
Get back, get back, stop!
(vultures grunt)
(keyboard clicks)
(upbeat music)
- Man, I scored with this new property.
It's definitely a fixer upper,
but I think it's got a lot of promise.
White Acres, what kind of name is that?
So what I do is I flip these houses
and document the whole
deal on my social media.
That's all right,
it can be pretty dull though.
I'm kind of tired of
these suburban houses.
It's just so boring.
Some of you have been asking in the DMs
and the comments, why this property?
I mean, I get it, it's far
away, pictures look mid.
Yeah, I agree.
Let be straight with you
all, the seller is a total hottie.
(mellow music in a foreign language)
Yeah, I know, I know.
(mellow music in a foreign language)
Farm land.
Check it out, we got cows.
Man, look at this place.
We really got nothing out here.
I'm sure cell reception's
gonna be horrible too.
I don't wanna talk about
us, talk about us
Guess it's coming, no doubt
(radio static hissing)
They want me quiet but I'm
a flame I'm starting fires
No more wars, no more
- Is this the local store?
(radio static hissing)
(upbeat music)
(reggae music)
More farmland, more cows.
- Are you Fells buying a house up the road
from that that weird internet girl?
- [Bobby] Yeah.
- Yeah, listen, don't do it.
She's an alien, she's gonna abduct you
- [Bobby] Man, what's your problem?
- Okay, I warned you.
Is this her?
- [Bobby] Yeah, whatever dude.
- Okay, bud.
- [Bobby] Okay.
- You know you're gonna die, right?
- [Bobby] Okay, well,
that was freaking weird.
What was that guy on?
And here she is, White Acres.
Needs a little, oh, okay,
needs a lot of love.
But the bones are good. (chuckles)
Yeah, they still got the
power hooked up here,
believe it or not.
(static hisses)
Oh, sweet, there's a plug right here.
I'm gonna charge my phone
and let it sit for a while.
(birds chirping)
Oh, I wasn't even looking at that.
It's still recording?
Oh, no way.
(footsteps)
Yeah, this place is huge.
I'll have to walk the rest
of the property tomorrow.
(chuckles) They probably got a Bobcat
trapped down there once or twice.
White Acres, yeah,
there's several acres here.
(footsteps)
Wow, this is it?
Nah, no way, no way, man.
Come on, it looks so much
different in the pictures.
(footsteps)
I can't believe this.
The online listing was totally different.
It, it didn't look like this at all.
(static hisses)
Yeah, I, I guess I got ripped off.
Yeah, I'm not so sure
about this place now.
My confidence is dwindling.
I guess we've got some
vandalism up in here.
Oh, damn!
(ominous sound)
- Okay.
Huh, what is that?
(birds chirping) (nature sounds)
Okay, the first night
is officially creepy.
I heard every single creep and groan.
But that's just to be expected, right?
(static hisses)
And you know, the wind outside
sounds like it's whispering sometimes.
I'm just, I'm just too paranoid.
(static hissing) (birds chirping)
Hey, hey, hey, who's there?
Hello?
Is, is anyone there?
Hello?
Hey?
Hey, I left the camera running outside.
Maybe I'll catch something cool.
Maybe some deer or something for the blog.
I mean, the landscaping alone.
Look at this, I mean, (door creaks)
I'm gonna have to demolish
this whole structure.
This, this has gotta go.
Hell.
I don't what else to say,
apparently I got swindled.
I mean, I mean,
this isn't what I paid for.
This is gonna take a lot
more work than I anticipated.
(wind howls)
I mean, this should be
condemned, for sure.
This, this should definitely be condemned.
What's that?
Who lit these?
Is someone there?
Huh, okay, I will admit,
this is really creepy.
Was someone here?
Okay I, I'm not gonna lie,
this is scary as fuck.
I, I don't know,
I dunno what the fuck to do.
(ominous music)
(indistinct)
- [Bobby] What, what's that?
Hey, wait.
(werewolf howls)
What the hell was that?
(metal utensils clanging)
It's inside the house.
It's inside.
I heard a window break in the kitchen.
I think it's somewhere in the other room.
(werewolf howls)
(indistinct)
(ominous laugh)
(footsteps)
(indistinct)
(creature groans)
(footsteps)
(creature growls)
(werewolf pants heavily)
I, I can't go down there.
I, I have to wait for
sunrise, I, I have to.
(werewolf howls and puffs)
(footsteps)
(static hisses)
I, I, I still can't go down
there, I can hear it.
(footsteps)
(glass shatters)
(footsteps)
(creature shrieks)
(ominous laugh)
What is, what is that?
(werewolf growls)
It bit me, this is my chance.
(static hisses)
(motors roaring)
(indistinct)
(ominous music)
- Didn't this guy just
get bit by a werewolf?
- I don't know, did he?
- Huh, wait, I'm back here?
I'm not dead yet, I'm still alive.
- Oh, what?
He's awake?
How is this happening?
Wait, what?
What's going on?
(realtor howls like a werewolf)
Ah, he's changing.
Stop!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Oh shit, this is bad, all bad. (screams)
(creatures shriek) (werewolf howls)
(upbeat brass band music)
I'm just a simple guy
I like a burger patty or two
To start the day
(door slams)
(sizzling sound)
(upbeat music)
(keyboard clicking)
(upbeat brass band music)
(ship explodes)
(water splashes)
- [Soldier] Mission 4-7-6-A.
I am here to document
the American super weapon
being kept on this island.
There is an outpost on the
other side of this island,
being used to monitor and
observe the experiment.
- [Radio Receiver] Status
report, what have you learned?
- [Soldier] Apparently they have acquired
some sort of new technology
from a foreign source.
It is said to be able to cause destruction
on an unbelievable scale.
- [Radio Receiver] The
rescue vessel shall be coming
at 06:00 morrow.
(footsteps)
- [Soldier] Our intelligence
sources have reported
the Americans are buying 10,000
heads of cattle every month.
(footsteps)
(dinosaur shrieks)
(soldier screams in foreign language)
(footsteps)
(soldiers scream in foreign language)
- [Soldier] This must be
the American laboratory.
(footsteps)
(water bubbling)
(electrical sparks hissing)
No, no, no, do not...
(creatures growl)
(soldier pants heavily)
Run!
(footsteps)
(lizard growls)
A giant lizard.
(lizard growls)
We can escape as they fight.
(lizard growls)
(soldier screams in foreign language)
(footsteps)
I have to help.
(soldier pants heavily)
(zombie growls)
(soldier pants heavily)
(water splashes)
(zombie growls)
(soldiers scream in a foreign language)
(gunshots)
The mutants are attacking again.
(soldiers scream in foreign language)
(gunshots)
(zombie growls)
(machine gun rattles)
We have to complete the mission.
(dinosaur growls) (soldiers scream)
(gunshots)
(water splashes gently)
- [Radio Receiver] Your
rescue has been canceled.
There will be no more transmission.
(water crashes gently)
(footsteps) (nature sounds)
(water splashes gently)
(footsteps)
(water splashes)
(cows mooing)
(footsteps)
(dinosaur shrieks)
(machine gun rattles)
(keyboard clicks)
- [Narrator] It does not help
that my own private Christmas ritual
had gotten outta hand this year.
The mask of sanity sticks to my face
as I try to peel it off with my fingers.
(ominous music)
Still, I have to wonder,
for all the pain, terror,
and malfeasance that I've
brought upon this world,
there are people who have done worse.
My worst nightmare could
be here on this block.
- Hey, look at this guy.
- What's up, old man?
- Please help me.
- [Thug] Man, screw you, you bum.
- It's the holidays.
- [Thug] Yo, what you got for us?
- Come on, spare some change, man.
(thudding sounds)
Stop beating me, why are you hurting me?
(upbeat music) (thudding sounds)
- Because we hate society and
we just wanna destroy society.
You bum, nobody's got shit for you.
(thudding sounds) (upbeat music)
(police radio speaks indistinctly)
- [Narrator] Not today, Satan, not today.
My distaste for the holiday
season is both physical
and metaphysical, material and immaterial,
both with form and without.
You could say that the crowds
of mindless consumers are the problem.
That they are what exasperates
my hate for the human race.
Like high winds on a deadly fire.
However, this would not be accurate.
These people are part of the economy
and their consumption,
although conspicuous
is a feature rather than a bug.
My problem, however,
is that behind the veneer
that I show to the world,
there are deep cracks,
fault that lead straight down to hell.
(door shuts)
(keys clank)
(footsteps)
- [Thug] They got a lot
of fun stuff in there.
Come on guys.
- [Thug] You just want to go
on a shopping spree, ha ha ha.
- So you'd rather stand
out here in the cold?
Let's keep it moving.
- [Thug] Told you it's all locked up.
- [Thug] We should go around
back, I can get us in.
(metal music) (glass shatters)
- [Narrator] With all this
negativity going around
during the holidays, give
yourself a treat, you deserve it.
If you feel something pulling at you,
it's nothing short of your destiny
to march towards that reward
with single-minded conviction.
(footsteps) (ominous music)
(blood splashes)
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, that hurt.
(metal music)
- What are we even doing here?
- Bruh, I don't know.
- You guys are like the two
biggest posers I've ever met.
- Well, you're a poser,
all the bands you listen to suck.
- You're a poser man.
- You only listen to poser bands.
- Bro, you both listen
to hipster black metal.
You guys are both posers.
- Shut up, all the bands
you listen to are stupid.
- Ha, ha, your face is stupid.
- [Thug] Well,
shut up all the bands you listen to...
- [Thug] Oh look, it's Santa Claus.
- I don't think that guy's okay.
He looks like he's on one.
- [Thug] It's a mall Santa.
- [Thug] Oh, did Santa get too
drunk at work and pass out?
(gunshots)
- Run!
(metal music)
(footsteps)
(gunshots)
- [Thug] Oh no!
(footsteps)
(gunshots)
(thugs pant heavily)
(footsteps)
(mellow techno music)
(footsteps)
(Santa Claus groans)
(footsteps)
(gunshot)
(Santa Claus groans)
- No!
(motorized saw roars)
- Okay then.
(gunshots) (motorized saw roaring)
- [Narrator] This is not an admission
in the traditional sense,
but perhaps I am admitting
some inconvenience
in dealing with the inevitable
consequences of my actions.
(ominous music)
(gunshot)
(keyboard clicks)
(ominous music)
My Uncle Wallace was a
different kind of guy.
Never one for family functions.
He was always more
interested in the occult,
the arcane, alchemy. (upbeat music)
For better or worse,
the family says I
followed in his footsteps.
Here I am years later looking for him.
(upbeat music)
(bell rings)
(mellow music)
(bell rings)
(footsteps)
I am am gonna have to inline
skate the whole way there
as not to arouse suspicion.
Might as well listen to
some radio on the trip.
(radio static cracking)
(mellow music)
(radio static cracking)
- [DJ] Owen Dead,
coming to you on the Zombie KZOB.
We've got some reports
of a mysterious red light
coming from north of the city.
Some are even calling
it the red ray of death.
Stay safe out there, zombies.
(rock music)
We've got more reports
of mysterious explosions
also coming from the
north edge of the city,
somewhere beyond the
wasteland by the old graveyard.
Is there really a graveyard out there
or is it just called that?
Why don't you call in and let us know.
8-1-8-5-5-5 KZOB.
(radio static cracking)
- [Narrator] Kinda hard
walking on the grass
with these skates.
Let me just jumped the fence here, aah!
(footsteps)
He built a laboratory out
in this area decades ago.
(footsteps)
The cemetery is really old,
way older than the city itself.
Believe it or not, the people in the city
don't even know it's out here.
(werewolf howls)
(footsteps)
Wait, that shack.
(door creaks)
That's Uncle Wallace,
this is his laboratory.
(footsteps)
That book, hey, wait, I,
I, I recognize that book.
What, what's happening?
(person pants heavily)
(werewolf howls)
Oh my God, what's that?
It's, it's a beam.
(person pants heavily)
(creature roars)
Where's the exit?
(footsteps) (person pants heavily)
Oh, what is that?
(person pants heavily)
What was that?
Don't kill me.
(creature shrieks)
Oh my God.
(motor roars) (truck hoots)
Oh My God.
(person pants heavily)
(motor roars)
Oh my God, oh God!
Oh my God, please don't kill me.
Please, oh, oh, oh God.
(creature growls) (static cracks)
(creature shrieks)
(keyboard clicks)
- [Narrator] So I'm
doing this little section
of the Appalachian Trail here.
I know this is kind of late
in the year to be doing it.
A lot of people aren't up
here at this time of year,
so I'm gonna be doing it solo.
(birds chirping)
Oh, I'm already sweating.
I forgot how crappy my cardio was
until I'm like in it, you know?
Ah, there's not a lot of shade out
here, not yet anyway.
We'll see.
The sky is cloudless right now, man.
And this path, hoo, I'm dragging my feet.
Oh, come on man, pick it up.
(footsteps) (birds chirping)
Oh, I can see someone up ahead.
Purple backpack, I think, moving fast.
This is bad for me.
It means I either have to pass the guy
or pretend like I'm way
fitter than I really am.
It's either that or spend the next hour
eating this guy's dust.
Okay, time to pick it up.
(wind swooshing)
Okay, I finally passed that
person in the white robe.
I didn't see their face though.
Yeah, the first hill is
always the worst, right?
Okay, we're powering through, let's go.
I've already got that burn going.
Okay, on the plus side,
well, hell, there is no plus side yet.
That's a weird little pile of stones.
Huh, it looks like a grave marker.
Nah, the dirt isn't disturbed.
It's just a stack.
I don't know, it's probably
just a carry or something.
Anyway, this is a why I'm recording this,
to get this kind of stuff here, you know?
All these cool little trail details.
If I didn't have this guy running,
no one would ever believe me. (chuckles)
Oh man, the sun's getting
brutal out here right now.
My shirt's sticking to me
and it says it's only 45 degrees
out, it's weird.
I keep on thinking I smell metal and meat.
I don't know if it's just my imagination.
(footsteps)
Check out this green,
fur-like moss on the trunks here.
Ah, shit! (groans)
(static hisses) (vultures grunt)
I nearly tripped.
There's like, there must be like a big rut
in the path back there.
Is it just this wet dent?
Maybe the grass is covering it up.
I, I stepped in something.
Ah, the momentum just
jerked my knee a good one.
Ah, crap.
Ah, my knee is kind of screwed up now,
but that's what Advil's for, right?
Ah, man.
Ah, that person's still up ahead.
It looks like there's two of them now.
A purple backpack and
another one I can't make out.
They're pretty far up there.
You know, I'm way off trail at this point,
but it, I, I don't even care,
I just want to catch up to those people.
No one else is behind me, that's good.
I hate when I start getting passed up
by granny's power walking.
(birds chirp) (flies buzzing)
God, it smells like straight
up hell, like death and rot.
Not sure if a raccoon got into
something or something died.
I don't know,
there's no septic line around here.
It was sharp enough to make
my eyes sting for a second,
that's for sure.
(birds chirping) (flies buzzing)
If it's gonna be like that the whole way,
I'm coming back with no sense of smell.
The second hill is a little bit
worse, I'm not gonna lie.
The incline is steeper,
the dust is, the dust is thin.
So I keep on kicking up the little poofs
every time I push off.
My knee isn't feeling any better
and now there's something
wrong with my feet.
I keep thinking about that
stone pile back there too,
for some reason, I don't know why.
It's weird how stuff like that
just hangs out in your
head after you see it.
Even if it's like, you know,
totally None of my business.
Trashed all my supplies.
Oh my God.
It must have been those people,
it couldn't have been anyone else.
(wind swooshes)
I, I don't even believe this.
How could I, how could I have
not heard them last night?
This doesn't make any sense.
(static scratches) (vultures grunt)
Okay, I think I just
got one more mile to go.
The thing is,
the woods get a lot thicker up here.
It's just me and the
sound of my own huffing
and I guess the birds.
Ah, maybe those people cut
off on one of the side trails.
Yeah, most of them are blocked.
It's pretty thick around here anyway,
I don't see where they would've gone.
So if you look up here
from the mile marker,
the path ahead is empty.
Ah, who knows?
Maybe I'm just losing it,
wouldn't be the first time.
(squirrel shrieks)
I'm trying to pay attention
to some of the flora
and fauna around here.
There was a red squirrel doing
a straight up murder scream
back there a couple minutes ago.
At some point,
there's supposed to be a pond up here.
I don't know,
maybe it dried up or something.
Honestly, it was the only landmark
I'm really looking
forward to at this point.
I can barely hear shoes over
the wind, but they're there.
It's not even that much
wind, but I don't know,
it's hard to hear them for some reason.
(static hisses) (vultures grunt)
It's like this restless feeling, right?
Before the storm, you know?
When the static air makes
the hair on your arms stand up.
My own sweat's making me
cold, kinda gross.
I guess it's better than overheating.
(footsteps)
I keep thinking about taking a break,
trying to get in the
shade, stretching out.
Maybe I'll do that the next chance I get.
Anyway, that's enough for this update.
Okay, I was waiting for the pond
and I see a bench up
ahead, so that must be it.
Let's go check that out.
(footsteps)
So, fun fact, this bench is dedicated
to beloved Grandpa Leonard.
There's a little plaque that says that.
It's all covered with green corrosion,
except for this one little part.
It looks like someone scratched
the number 17 over and over.
That's kind of intense.
Whatever.
So much quieter when you're not walking.
(fire cracks)
There's something moving
around over there, what is that?
It's probably just a chipmunk.
They did it again.
Oh my God.
Hey, if you're out there,
if you can hear me,
what do you want?
Hey, it's one of those people, up ahead.
Hey, hey, you, I wanna talk to you.
Hey, get back here.
Hey, stop, why are you ignoring me?
Hey you?
Yeah.
Just like that, they disappeared.
I, I have no words.
I, I don't even know
what's going on anymore.
(vultures grunt) (static hisses)
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I, I think I see one
of those hikers again.
Yeah, yeah, way down the
slope, way down there.
I guess they did go off trail.
Is that a fence down there or a gorge?
I, I can't make it out.
Anyway, why would they even go down there?
That's kind of strange.
Hey, hey you,
why didn't you trash my campsite?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Hey, did you trash my camp last night?
(footsteps)
Hey, I'm talking to you.
Hey!
Hey, come back here.
Hey, can you hear me?
Hey, wait, what are they doing?
What the hell is this?
Are they dancing?
Hey, I don't think they've
been able to hear me.
(creatures scream)
(creature speaks indistinctly)
- [Narrator] Oh my God, it's alive.
Oh my God, get away from
me, get away from me.
Stop, what are you doing?
Stop, I, I I, I'm sorry, get away.
Get back, get back, stop!
(vultures grunt)
(keyboard clicks)
(upbeat music)
- Man, I scored with this new property.
It's definitely a fixer upper,
but I think it's got a lot of promise.
White Acres, what kind of name is that?
So what I do is I flip these houses
and document the whole
deal on my social media.
That's all right,
it can be pretty dull though.
I'm kind of tired of
these suburban houses.
It's just so boring.
Some of you have been asking in the DMs
and the comments, why this property?
I mean, I get it, it's far
away, pictures look mid.
Yeah, I agree.
Let be straight with you
all, the seller is a total hottie.
(mellow music in a foreign language)
Yeah, I know, I know.
(mellow music in a foreign language)
Farm land.
Check it out, we got cows.
Man, look at this place.
We really got nothing out here.
I'm sure cell reception's
gonna be horrible too.
I don't wanna talk about
us, talk about us
Guess it's coming, no doubt
(radio static hissing)
They want me quiet but I'm
a flame I'm starting fires
No more wars, no more
- Is this the local store?
(radio static hissing)
(upbeat music)
(reggae music)
More farmland, more cows.
- Are you Fells buying a house up the road
from that that weird internet girl?
- [Bobby] Yeah.
- Yeah, listen, don't do it.
She's an alien, she's gonna abduct you
- [Bobby] Man, what's your problem?
- Okay, I warned you.
Is this her?
- [Bobby] Yeah, whatever dude.
- Okay, bud.
- [Bobby] Okay.
- You know you're gonna die, right?
- [Bobby] Okay, well,
that was freaking weird.
What was that guy on?
And here she is, White Acres.
Needs a little, oh, okay,
needs a lot of love.
But the bones are good. (chuckles)
Yeah, they still got the
power hooked up here,
believe it or not.
(static hisses)
Oh, sweet, there's a plug right here.
I'm gonna charge my phone
and let it sit for a while.
(birds chirping)
Oh, I wasn't even looking at that.
It's still recording?
Oh, no way.
(footsteps)
Yeah, this place is huge.
I'll have to walk the rest
of the property tomorrow.
(chuckles) They probably got a Bobcat
trapped down there once or twice.
White Acres, yeah,
there's several acres here.
(footsteps)
Wow, this is it?
Nah, no way, no way, man.
Come on, it looks so much
different in the pictures.
(footsteps)
I can't believe this.
The online listing was totally different.
It, it didn't look like this at all.
(static hisses)
Yeah, I, I guess I got ripped off.
Yeah, I'm not so sure
about this place now.
My confidence is dwindling.
I guess we've got some
vandalism up in here.
Oh, damn!
(ominous sound)
- Okay.
Huh, what is that?
(birds chirping) (nature sounds)
Okay, the first night
is officially creepy.
I heard every single creep and groan.
But that's just to be expected, right?
(static hisses)
And you know, the wind outside
sounds like it's whispering sometimes.
I'm just, I'm just too paranoid.
(static hissing) (birds chirping)
Hey, hey, hey, who's there?
Hello?
Is, is anyone there?
Hello?
Hey?
Hey, I left the camera running outside.
Maybe I'll catch something cool.
Maybe some deer or something for the blog.
I mean, the landscaping alone.
Look at this, I mean, (door creaks)
I'm gonna have to demolish
this whole structure.
This, this has gotta go.
Hell.
I don't what else to say,
apparently I got swindled.
I mean, I mean,
this isn't what I paid for.
This is gonna take a lot
more work than I anticipated.
(wind howls)
I mean, this should be
condemned, for sure.
This, this should definitely be condemned.
What's that?
Who lit these?
Is someone there?
Huh, okay, I will admit,
this is really creepy.
Was someone here?
Okay I, I'm not gonna lie,
this is scary as fuck.
I, I don't know,
I dunno what the fuck to do.
(ominous music)
(indistinct)
- [Bobby] What, what's that?
Hey, wait.
(werewolf howls)
What the hell was that?
(metal utensils clanging)
It's inside the house.
It's inside.
I heard a window break in the kitchen.
I think it's somewhere in the other room.
(werewolf howls)
(indistinct)
(ominous laugh)
(footsteps)
(indistinct)
(creature groans)
(footsteps)
(creature growls)
(werewolf pants heavily)
I, I can't go down there.
I, I have to wait for
sunrise, I, I have to.
(werewolf howls and puffs)
(footsteps)
(static hisses)
I, I, I still can't go down
there, I can hear it.
(footsteps)
(glass shatters)
(footsteps)
(creature shrieks)
(ominous laugh)
What is, what is that?
(werewolf growls)
It bit me, this is my chance.
(static hisses)
(motors roaring)
(indistinct)
(ominous music)
- Didn't this guy just
get bit by a werewolf?
- I don't know, did he?
- Huh, wait, I'm back here?
I'm not dead yet, I'm still alive.
- Oh, what?
He's awake?
How is this happening?
Wait, what?
What's going on?
(realtor howls like a werewolf)
Ah, he's changing.
Stop!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Oh shit, this is bad, all bad. (screams)
(creatures shriek) (werewolf howls)
(upbeat brass band music)