Vampires (1998) Movie Script

Hows it look?
Like another New Mexican shithole.
A perfect spot for a nest.
Lets hit it.
All right. Gio.
- Everything set?
- Ready, boss.
We think weve got a nest inside this place.
Figure on at least six goons,
maybe more.
Chances are well find a master.
Rule number 5: If you find the nest,
you find the master.
He wont leave it on its own.
It is strictly by the book today gentlemen.
Lets get to work.
- Ill do it, boss.
- My turn.
Easy with that door.
Slow and easy.
Sorry, boss.
- What was that?
- I dont know.
Wake you up, Montoya?
Relax. Dead body.
Bled out and cold. Been here a while.
Dead body.
Bled out and cold.
Suck it up.
- Get her off!
- Hold your fire!
Now fire!
- What?
- I dont know. Hang on.
Whats going on in there?
Deyo, dont leave me hanging.
What`ss going on?
We got a live one.
Female goon.
Well save her for you.
Open wide.
Stick her!
Take her!
- We got a fish! Go!
- Go for Montoya.
Were losing him!
- Catlin!
- Safety on.
- Got it?
- Clear!
Oh, Lord.
Come on. Right here.
Fucking die! Die!
Not only ugly, he smells bad.
Give me the radio.
- Everybody okay?
- Yeah, boss.
Weve got another one. He`ss dead.
Send in the cable. We`lll hook him up.
Give me a minute.
May her souI and all the souls
of the faithful departed...
with the mercy of God
rest in peace.
Nothing like a little head,
eh, Padre?
Okay, boys, time to mop it up.
Deyo, Ortega, Bambi, upstairs.
Catlin, Anthony and Davis, basement.
Enjoy the barbecue, baby.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight...
Goons, man! Thats not
a bad day`ss work.
- Thats my lucky number.
- You`rre the man.
What is it, Jack?
Is something wrong?
Yeah. Where was the master?
- Want us to check the house again?
- Hes not there.
Do you suppose theres
another nest somewhere?
Sure as hell better not be.
All right, lets get out of here.
Thank you for your help.
Ive spent the last two weeks running
whores and buying liquor for this bunch.
- When the hell they gonna leave?
- Were clearing out tomorrow.
I cant say I`mm sorry to hear it.
You get that package from us?
- Yeah, I got it.
- Good. Then youre happy.
You all work together?
Thats right.
What do you do?
We kill vampires.
I briefed Rome. Theyre wiring a payment
to the Monterey account.
Cardinal Alba is flying into Santa Fe.
He wants to meet with you tomorrow.
- Tomorrows my day off.
- Jack, not anymore.
Listen, what do you figure happened
to the master?
I dont know.
The master wont usually leave a nest
filled with goons.
What says hes still in New Mexico?
He could be anywhere by now.
Why would he run? Its not like
he knew we were coming.
Really, what do you guys do?
Im not kidding.
We kill vampires.
Catlin, tell the lady what we do
for a living.
Kill vampires. Hunt them down,
kick the shit out of them.
I know how you feel, baby.
Nobody believes in vampires.
The thing is, we know vampires
are stalking the earth.
We also know theres a God.
We just dont understand Him.
Nice party.
Youve got something
other than me on your mind.
Feel like telling me about it?
I was looking for something today.
I didnt find it.
That can be a real pain in the ass.
Maybe you should try looking
somewhere else.
I can tell you where
you might want to start.
Youre right.
I shouldve been looking
in a whole different place.
Why dont you get me something
to drink...
and we can meet
back in your room.
Thats the first good idea
I`vve heard today.
Deyo, give me a couple beers.
You are magnificent!
Have I ever told you that?
- You better slow down, Padre.
- No, no. Im not drunk.
Really? Are you on acid?
Doesnt it feel beautiful?
Something youll never forget.
I know I wont.
I think were out of beer.
I think we ought to knock over
a liquor store.
Why not?
I dont give a shit anymore.
I got beer.
I got beer in the other room.
Fucking people. I dont know why
I gotta take care of everybody.
And you. You dont go anywhere.
I got plans for you.
Jack Crow.
- Wait. The pickup.
- Keys!
Come on! Come with me.
Did he bite you?
Wait. Wait. I can use you.
Come on!
Leave the bitch. Shes dead anyway.
Take her. I can use her. Go!
Step on it, goddamn it!
- Hit it!
- Im going!
- Hes right behind us!
- Come on, go!
Shoot him!
You okay?
Can you walk?
You alive? Come on.
- What are you doing?
- Shes going with us.
- He just bit her.
- She hasnt turned yet. Come on.
Shes on her way.
Its under 48 hours. The telepathic
link with the master won`tt hold.
So what? After that shes going
to start receiving his thoughts.
- Seeing what he sees.
- Exactly.
Like a surveillance camera, so we can
find him and shove a stake up his ass!
Im gonna use this piece of shit to get
to the master and to who tipped him off.
We were set up.
He knew my fucking name.
- Who the fuck set us up?
- I dont know.
But I want the son of a bitch.
Can you walk?
Wake up! Can you walk?
Are you with me?
Come on!
Do you hear me? Well?
Fuck, yes. This aint my first time
to dance. Let`ss go.
Hey, cowboy.
- Can I help you?
- Yeah. Im gonna borrow your car.
- Just say, "Help yourself. `
- Say what?
Shut up or Ill blow your teeth
out the back of your head! Back off!
Help yourself.
Much obliged, partner.
Get in!
Take her to Apache Springs,
Plaza HoteI.
Hole up there.
Ill find you as soon as I can.
Dump this thing and take the jeep.
- You cant bury them all.
- Get going.
I need to talk to you.
Were wasting time.
Rule number 7:
Never bury a team member by yourself.
- This comes under special circumstances.
- The whole teams been slaughtered!
- I can handle it!
- Bullshit! You know better!
Got any ideas?
Yeah. Kill the whore, bury the team
together and head back to Monterey.
- If you want to pull out, go ahead.
- I didnt say that.
Somebodys changed the rules.
We gotta do whatever it takes.
Less than 11 hours
until the sun goes down.
If youve got something else to say,
spit it out!
Yeah, Ive got something else to say.
Don`tt take too fucking long!
I get nervous when youre not around.
I need a room.
- For how long?
- A few days.
Its $375 a week...
plus $25 for your cable TV.
Whats the fucking total?
Its $400.
Is that your girlfriend?
No, its my fucking mother.
Give me the key.
Come on. Take my arm.
Wake up, will you?
Lets go.
Jack Crow.
Cerritos and 14th in Santa Fe.
Need immediate pickup.
None of them.
Im alone.
Sources close to fhe investigation
report all bodies were decapifated.
The remains of the heads...
were found buried a mile away
from the murder scene.
The number of confirmed dead
now stands af 19...
with police still combing the ruins
of the motel.
Well be standing by all day
to bring you any further updafes.
Forget it.
Ah, Jack.
Please sit down.
Whos this?
This is Father Adam Guiteau.
Father Adam is in charge
of our archives.
A bookworm.
Hes completely familiar with
all your activities, so speak freely.
Tell me what happened.
We cleaned out the nest
near Fort Union.
That night, a master showed up.
No master was ever like this.
Superhuman strength, unkillable,
like a machine.
We didnt stand a chance.
So tell me if I`mm wrong, Cardinal.
Couldnt he be the one we talked about,
the one we knew would come one day?
There are some other developments.
Sad developments.
Our Tom Callahan is dead.
The whole European team is wiped out.
- When?
- Three days ago.
Callahans team was clearing
a large nest near Cologne, Germany.
Local authorities reported it
as a terrorist act.
We found this there.
Is he the one?
- What is this?
- Celebratum.
Its medievaI Latin for "celebrate. ```
Celebrate this-
Celebrate what?
We dont know.
Ive authenticated the portrait.
It was painted in 1340.
The subjects name is,
was, Jan Valek.
Born in Prague, 1311.
He was a priest...
who turned against the church and led
the Bohemian peasants in an uprising...
actually capturing severaI small towns.
Valek was captured, tried for heresy
and burned at the stake.
But after his death there were reports
that he was seen walking at night.
It was said he killed the living
to drink their blood.
They opened his grave,
and it was found empty.
Its the first known case of vampirism.
A priest.
Valek is not like the other masters
you have hunted before.
Hes the first and most powerful.
Of our slayers, you are the only one...
who faced Valek and survived.
Im going back out.
You mind if I hang on to this?
Ive been in contact with Rome.
The Vatican Council requests
that you rebuild your team.
- There isnt time.
- You are to return to Monterey.
Recruit new team members...
and try again
when you are at full strength.
Father Adam will accompany you
and take the place...
of poor Father Giovanni.
I dont think so.
This is nonnegotiable.
Valek is the original,
the source of the disease!
The first vampire
created by the Catholic church!
- By accident.
- Shut the fuck up!
This was your fight, Cardinal.
Now it is mine.
If you refuse to obey the rules,
the operation will be cancelled...
the funding with drawn.
Do you have any idea how this Valek
knows my name?
Stay close to him.
Whats your name?
Do you understand whats happening?
Help me!
Dont fuck with me, honey!
Ill snap your neck like a twig.
Nod your head yes or no.
Do you understand
whats happened to you?
Do it!
All right.
Im gonna explain it to you.
Im going to take my hand
off your mouth.
You scream-
Now, whats your name?
Okay, Katrina, heres the score.
I took off your clothes.
I cleaned you up.
I tied you down.
I also saved your ass.
Youve been bitten by a vampire.
Do you remember the party at the motel?
Big guy, pointy teeth,
really shitty breath?
Dont worry,
it`lll come back to you soon.
A master vampire has a telepathic link
with his victims.
Youre gonna help us find him.
While hes sleeping,
we unleash on him.
Youre the bait, honey.
I know alI about you, Mr. Crow.
I know that your parents
were bitten by vampires...
and you were raised by the Church,
brought up to be its master slayer.
The truth is, I didnt want
to be forced on you like this.
I was supposed to take over
for Father Giovanni when he retired.
Ive always dreamed of this, ever since
I first heard about the slayers.
I wanted to be part of the team,
just do whatever I could.
For example, if you wanted to receive
the Sacrament of Confession-
Fuck it!
Who set us up?
Was it you?
I dont know what you`rre talking about!
If you dont think I`lll kill you
`ccause you`rre a priest...
you are seriously misjudging
the wrong motherfucker!
Go ahead and kill me!
I dont know what you`rre talking about!
I dont.
Well see.
Where are we going?
You have to tell me whats going on.
- Have you ever seen a vampire?
- No.
First of alI, theyre not romantic.
Its not like they`rre a bunch of fags
hopping around in rented formal wear...
seducing everybody in sight
with cheesy Euro-trash accents.
Forget whatever youve seen in movies.
They dont turn into bats.
Crosses don`tt work.
You want to try garlic?
Stand with garlic around your neck...
one of these buggers will bend you over
and take a walk...
up your strada chocolatta while hes
sucking blood from your neck, all right?
And they dont sleep in coffins
lined in taffeta.
You want to kill one, you drive
a wooden stake right through his heart.
Sunlight turns them
into crispy critters.
Got it?
See this map?
This map shows all the encounters
in the United States...
as far back as the 1800s.
- Ive never seen this.
- No one has outside the team.
Look at the southwest.
See the spiral pattern?
If you time sequence all the encounters,
you get a logarithmic pattern...
ever widening.
Its a search pattern, Padre.
They`rre looking for something.
Do you know what it is?
I heard stories when I was young.
Something about a black cross.
About vampires walking in the sunlight.
Padre, can I ask you something?
When I was kicking your ass back there,
did that give you wood?
Did you get a mahogany from that?
Tell the truth.
Im just fucking with you.
Forget about it.
Oh, Jesus.
What time is it?
You want one?
Youve got to eat something.
I cant.
I wouldnt mind a cigarette, though.
We need to work on this.
The less you eat, the faster the virus
moves through your bloodstream.
Yeah. Thats what I call it.
Nobody knows what it really is.
Poison, Kool-Aid, whatever,
it all does the same thing.
Turns you into a vampire.
What happened to the other girls
at the party?
They didnt make it.
Im sorry.
You remember now?
Why doesnt anyone know?
Nobody wants to know.
Thats how vampires survive.
They`rre smart.
They keep their numbers low, live in
small bands. The world never catches on.
Will I end up being one?
I dont know for sure.
Unless we find him before you turn.
Then maybe theres a chance.
Look, heres what we do know.
Youre connected
to the master vampire now.
Hes a part of you,
and this link will grow.
Youll never be able to get him
out of you, not while he exists.
Then I dont want to live.
You may not.
Can I get dressed now?
Could you get me a towel or something?
Its not like I haven`tt seen you naked.
Fuck it.
Easy. Ill get you a towel.
One towel coming right up.
I wont peek.
Nice try.
Leave the door open.
No way.
A little bit.
- What the fuck you doing?
- Damn it! Let me go!
Look what you did!
You fucking bit me!
Are you nuts?
Where are you going?
You bite me, huh?
Get up!
Fucking bite me!
Fucking bitch!
Goddamn it.
Fucking stupid whore.
Where are you?
Im fine.
Yeah, I`mm fine.
Room 312.
Im coming up. Stay put.
Im Father Adam Guiteau.
You`rre Tony Montoya, I believe.
You look different than your picture.
Im an archivist.
I`vve studied the team extensively.
Whats this bruise on her jaw?
I had to hit her.
She was trying to kill herself.
I had to pull her off the fire escape.
Then I fell through the window.
Thats all?
- Whyd you slug her?
- I cut my arm on broken glass.
I was pissed. I dont know.
I fucking slugged her. Who cares?
This is our new padre.
Weve been ordered back to Monterey.
Rebuild the team. Start over.
- Were going back to Monterey?
- No.
Callahans whole team is gone.
- Its just us now.
- That`ss right.
- Who is she?
- Some hooker. Bitten by Valek.
Vampires are psychically linked
to each other.
As soon as she hooks into Valek...
we go looking for him.
- We have orders to follow.
- Fuck you, Padre.
Language! If youre not going to follow
orders, I`lll call Cardinal Alba.
Excuse me. Language.
Lets have a chat about language.
See if this syntax works for you.
You dont make a phone call,
you don`tt blow your nose...
you dont wipe your ass
unless I tell you, okay?
Show me.
Here we go.
Katrina, can you hear me?
- What is it?
- Theres someone else now.
Someone youre connected to in your
mind. You know who I`mm talking about?
What are you seeing?
I cant.
Yes, you can.
Youre here with us and you`rre safe.
Where is he?
What are you seeing?
Its dark.
Keep trying.
Its a map.
A circle on the map.
- We need a location.
- Im working on it.
- Before she loses him!
- You want to switch places?
Just come on.
Katrina, listen carefully.
I need to know exactly where you are.
What youre seeing right now.
He killed the priest!
- All right, youre safe.
- A priest? What priest?
Moving now.
Stay with it.
Theres a sign.
On the highway.
It says San MigueI.
San Miguel? Come on, keep trying.
You have to.
I cant.
- Goddamn it!
- The links broken.
What priest is she talking about?
Goddamn it!
I can get a list of the churches in
San Miguel if you let me use the phone.
Call every church.
Find one where an old padres missing.
Road trip, Montoya. Your job
is to watch this girl. Goddamn it!
Whats wrong with you?
Im just tired, that`ss all.
Is there something
you want to tell me?
Nothing youd want to listen to.
I got the fax this morning
from the cardinals office in Santa Fe.
Youre an investigator
working for the Catholic Church?
Right. We looking into a pattern
of anti-Catholic hate crimes.
- May I?
- Its pretty damn savage.
What about the old priest?
Any of this blood his?
- His name is Father Molina.
- Sorry.
You get something on this case,
youll share it with me, right?
Thats right.
- I better not find out different.
- You wont.
So far it looks like all of this blood
is from Mrs. Fisher.
We wont know for sure until we get
a sample through pathology.
Was anything stolen?
- Just Father Molina.
- We found him.
I dont gef this!
Why come to North Podunk and attack
some old priest and a cleaning lady?
Does that make sense?
Valek didnt feed on them.
Father Molina was a well-known scholar
of early Catholic history in the U.S.
- Who gives a shit?
- I dont know?
I dont know why Valek killed him.
- Whats this symbol?
- The church doesn`tt know.
You and the cardinal
are Iying sacks of shit.
Help me.
The hours getting late.
Its a medieval astronomical sign...
for the sun.
There are seven more with him now.
- Powerful!
- Are they masters?
Im beginning to like you,
so don`tt make me hurt you, okay?
Tell me what you know.
Ill buy you a beer and get you laid.
You dont tell me,
I`lll have to start cutting on you.
No, you wont.
You`rre a righteous man.
Besides, I serve a higher master
than you.
Any secrets I keep are kept to protect
the church and its followers.
- Open your mouth.
- What?
Open your mouth.
Give me your hand.
Listen to me, you fuck!
My father kept a secret once.
He had been bitten by a vampire.
He kept it a secret
from me and my mother.
By the fifth day, he was turning.
That night he attacked my mother.
And then he came after me.
I killed my own father, Padre.
I got no trouble killing you.
Last chance.
Now open your motherfucking mouth.
Open your fucking mouth!
What? You ready?
Excuse me. What?
Valek is looking for an ancient relic:
the Cross of Berziers.
After his trial, fhe church declared
Valek was possessed by demons.
He was taken to a small town
in France called Berziers.
Exorcism was performed...
using an ancient, forbidden form
of the ceremony.
It was long, and very brutal.
And then something went wrong.
A wooden gate is opening.
The accounts are confused,
but they refer to an inverse exorcism.
The body is destroyed,
but the possessed soul remains.
The exorcism transformed Valek
into a creature...
whose body is dead,
but who lives on.
- A vampire.
- Yeah, a vampire.
Its a cross.
The stories you heard
abouf the black cross are true.
If was used in Valeks exorcism,
then taken back to Rome.
Its known as the Berziers Cross.
The cross was shipped
to the New World.
It was moved from one
Spanish mission to another.
Its exact location was kept secret
even from the Vatican.
For hundreds of years it was lost.
Then Cardinal Alba discovered the name
of the only living priest...
who knew the location
of the cross.
Father Joseph Molina.
Cardinal Alba and I came to the
United States to find Father Molina...
to reclaim the Berziers Cross,
and that is all I know.
Youre a good man.
Welcome to the team.
God forgive me.
He found it.
Lets hit it.
Wait! Wait, stop the car.
That way.
It was here.
You picking up anything?
Hes gone.
- You dont look so good.
- She hasn`tt turned. She can`tt eat.
Maybe she wants human blood.
- I said she hasnt-
- I heard.
- Why dont you back off?
- What`ss with you?
Whats with me? What`ss with you?
You`rre being a fucking asshole!
What the fuck is your problem?
Youre not falling
for this half-dead-
- Nice shot. Want to try again?
- Stop it!
- Get the fuck outta here!
- What are you doing?
- Were about to have a good fight.
- No!
Do you know why Valek wants
the Berziers Cross? Think about it.
He wants to finish his transformation.
The exorcism was never completed.
Valek was left vulnerable,
able to survive only at night.
So if he completes the ritual-
I think the balance shifts.
For 600 years, Valek has wanted
to find a way to live in the daylight.
Oh, fuck me.
Now with the Berziers Cross, he will.
A master vampire, able to walk
in the sun, unstoppable...
unless we stop him.
Well have to finish this
some other time.
- Yeah.
- Eight hours of sun left. Come on.
Come on, baby.
Thats where he is.
The place looks empty.
Hes near.
What do you figure
the population is? 20?
Id say 30, maybe more.
Now the question is,
how many of them are goons?
Worst-case scenario, half:
If he took the town, Valek would
had to have been here several days?
Thats right.
He set this up, slowly,
one goon at a time.
Now hes got the Cross, and the biggest
nest of blood-drinkers ever known!
- What have we got? Three slayers.
- Two slayers!
Its time to kill some vampires.
You with us, Padre?
Yeah, Im with you.
Get a location.
Where is he?
Katrina, baby, listen.
Is he in there?
Hes in there.
In the dark.
All right. Good girl.
- The best-constructed building in town?
- The jail of course.
Bingo. She senses him in there.
- She telling the truth?
- Yeah.
- Suppose hes taken control, using her?
- I guess I`lll pay with my life.
Youre not the only one, amigo.
Youre not the only one.
Can you hear me?
Im sorry.
It`ss going to be all right.
Ill take care of you.
I promise.
Oh, shes thirsty.
- She smells your blood.
- Oh, God.
Padre, your neck!
Cover your neck!
Take the woman!
Cocksucker! Come on!
Padre, kill it! Goddamn it!
Dont just stare! Kill it!
With the stake! Kill him
with the stake through the heart!
Yes! Yes!
How do you like your stake, bitch?
- There another way up from the cells?
- Doesnt look that way.
Coming out of the elevator
makes it a straight shot to the door.
- That means using the cable.
- Well attach the cable to the Jeep.
- Yank them into the sun fast.
- Someone has to drive the jeep.
- How do you lure them into the elevator?
- Someone has to be inside.
Escape hatch, huh? Yes.
When they get inside,
one of us goes up through the hole.
The other guy presses the button.
The doors shut, theyre trapped.
- It has to be me.
- What?
You have to be here
to fire the crossbow.
You want to drive the jeep?
Ill do it.
I cant drive.
I never learned.
Okay. Lather up and shave your ass.
Youre the bait. Let`ss go.
Listen to me!
Youve got to try to hold on.
- You seen Valek?
- Nothing yet.
- Anything?
- There.
Im ready.
Youve got to be fleet of foot.
- Im not kidding.
- I know.
- I used to play soccer.
- Soccer?
- I was captain of my team.
- Id better be the one-
- No, Ill be fine.
- You will?
Dont worry about me.
Just shoot when the door opens.
You can count on that.
- Padre?
- I know.
- Montoya, hes on his way down.
- Hooked and ready, Jack.
What are you doing?
Get back in the fucking elevator!
Get ready, Montoya.
Here we go.
Montoya, go!
Die, you bloodsucker! Pull!
Padre, you okay?
He didnt bite or scratch you?
Okay, come on.
No! Keep the door- Shit!
- Sorry.
- Monitors.
Its going all the way down.
Okay. Im bringing it up.
- Sorry about the doors.
- No harm, no foul.
- You did good. Running out of time.
- I have to do it again, dont I?
Why arent the doors opening?
What`ss wrong?
Jack! Look at this.
Montoya, go, go!
- Go! Goddamn it, go!
- Come on!
- You never told me they could do that.
- I didnt know they could.
Get out of the way!
Come on, do it, you fucking bitch!
Hook it up!
Padre, get a spike!
Shell take you with her!
Come on!
Die, you fucker, die!
Look at the sun!
- Were finished.
- No, we gotta go back.
Rule number 10:
You cant kill a master at night.
Its over.
Hes right.
Lets go.
Hello, Jack.
You motherfucker!
The war is over, crusader.
Hello, Jack.
From your expression...
I assume you couldnt possibly
understand my presence here.
Im sorry to disillusion you.
As one grows old,
as death approaches...
we begin to question our faith...
and I have found my lacking.
Is there a God?
Is there a heaven?
I can no longer answer this for certain.
Ive witnessed no miracles,
had no visions...
and the prospect of death terrifies me.
I realized Ive only one alternative.
And I made a bargain,
with the devil, if you wish.
You are truly
a pile of dogshit, Cardinal.
Yeah, thats right.
Thats correct, Jack,
and I can live with that.
After Ive given Valek what he wants,
he will fulfill our bargain.
And I will be transformed
into one of his new children.
Its beautiful, isn`tt it?
Eternal life.
Immortality can change your heart.
Why dont you prove you can kick my ass?
Come on. Untie me.
Come on, you fucking pole-smoking
fashion victim. Come over here.
Five minutes, then you can bite my ass.
Would you like that? See me tied up?
What will silence you?
Come on, untie me, you prick.
Perhaps this will help.
Apparently your friend
is one of my children now.
You are alone, crusader.
What do you want from me?
Oh, you hate me so, dont you?
But you made me, crusader.
You hate what youve made,
you fear it...
because it is superior to you.
For 600 years,
Ive fed on your kind at will.
- Why not kill me and get it over with?
- Because youre needed, Jack.
The ceremony is a reenactment
of the original exorcism.
It requires the blood
of a crusader...
and his crucifixion
upon a burning cross.
The climax of the ceremony
must coincide...
with the first rays
of the rising sun.
Sorry, Jack.
You motherf-
What will you do, Valek?
Youve got nobody to complete
your ritual! The sun`ss rising.
You will finish the ritual.
- Try and make me.
- Attaboy. Fuck with him!
Looks like youre shit out of luck.
Give it up!
- Finish it.
- No.
Come on, Padre!
My nuts are on fire!
Come on.
Lets go kill some vampires.
End of the line.
You still with us, Crow?
I dont burn so good these days,
Give me the cross.
This cross?
Let me just ask you one thing.
After 600 years,
hows that dick working? Pretty good?
Huh? Come on!
The cross!
Suck this!
Die, die, you fucker! Die!
You cant kill me.
You ugly blood-sucking fucker, die!
Its going to be okay.
IlI be right back. Okay?
Put your head back.
You look like shit.
Where are you going?
You love her that much?
We make the perfect couple.
- Youre not leaving!
- Padre.
Back off.
Dont make me come over there
and beat the shit out of you, Padre.
- Back off!
- Hes a vampire, Jack!
Rule number 1: If your partner
is ever bitten by a vampire...
ever let him live.
Im not a slayer anymore.
Besides, the way I figure it...
the two of you got plenty to do
cleaning the rest of them out.
Meanwhile, she hides in the van out of
the sunlight while you go to the border.
Try to catch it by nightfall.
Is that it?
I need a vacation.
When did she first bite you?
Two days ago.
I still covered your ass.
Yes, you did.
I owe you two days back.
- What would you say, Padre?
- Youve got two days.
Wherever you go...
I will find you.
I will hunt you down,
and I will kill you.
The girl, too.
Vaya con Dios, my friend.
Vaya con Dios, slayer.
Time to slay some vampires, Padre.
- You up for it?
- I guess so.
- Its just the two of us.
- No, Mr. Crow.
He was always with us.
Fair enough.
Let me ask you a question.
When you were stabbing that vampire,
did you get a little wood?
- Mahogany.
- Excuse me?
Ebony. Teak!
Are you possessed by demons?
- A major chubby.
- Language, Padre.